This Paranormal Life - #335 The Alchemist Who Became IMMORTAL - The Count of St. Germain

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Throughout his life, The Count of Saint Germain was known for many things - his overwhelming charm, suspicious intelligence and his abundance of mysterious wealth. However, what he was really known for is his exploration into alchemy… and the results of that exploration? ETERNAL LIFE. Today, Rory and Kit dive into the mystical world of Alchemy and try to decipher an ancient book that may just hold the secret to achieving immortality. LIVE TOUR - https://www.thisparanormallife.com/tourFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Philip Shacklady Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can metal be turned to gold through the powers of alchemy? Could a puppet control itself if it put its own hand up its hole? Answers to these questions and more on THIS PARANORMAL LIFE! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week myself and my accomplice Kit Greer dive into a new paranormal tale and come to a conclusion at the end as to whether or not it truly is paranormal accomplice in what accomplice in in podcasting those disgusting intro questions you need to wash your mouth out with soap what are you talking about which one of those was disgusting all right the puppet one you know what you did

i could tell the puppet one phased you because you almost forgot to announce the name of the podcast at the start you were thinking about it so hard no i wasn't i was blindsided by your crude humor everyone knows puppets you have to put a hand up them to make them walk around and talk and do all the little bits yeah if a puppet put its own hand up its hand hole, would it be able to control itself, you know? Yeah, that's interesting. It's like an Ouroboros snake eating its own tail. It might kind of like create a wormhole or destroy the universe.

Yeah, snake eating its own tail is like quite a romantic, kind of poetic symbolism. You know, you see depicted a lot. Kermit the Frog shoving his own fist up his ass to give himself control of his puppet body. Not quite, doesn't have quite the same symbolism, does it? It's powerful, but it's a little more disturbing. Yeah, you don't want to see it on like a motivational poster that's like, get hold of yourself actually that's actually kind of a cool idea should we bring that to the merch store maybe i think the merch store is full i think it's full right now yeah something like

i think it's full of kind of logos and cool designs i don't think there's room for whatever that is something like you know just a cool motivational poster you see on the wall like you know the pictures of like a kitten holding on to a branch it's like hanging in there yeah so this one would be kermit with his with two fists no inside of himself yeah yeah no no no i think like because we we currently over at this paranormal life.com forward slash store we do have nice nice ufos it's like it's like a ufo and then our logo is in the tractor beam of the UFO. It's quite cool, designed by Chrissy

in the commune. It's a pretty cool design. People are really enjoying that. But yours is... I want to release a poster of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy 69ing and the caption is

you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals. Copyright infringement on so many fronts as well as distasteful and wouldn't sell a single shirt. Normally, if you go to the bother of infringing copyright, you at least sell bags of fake products. You know, like if you're going to infringe copyright, at least go for it and make a fake Nike top. But like, don't go to court all to sell three disgusting shirts.

to sell three disgusting shirts. These are the kind of shirts that you get on holiday where it's like a Nike shirt where on the back, Bart Simpson is smoking weed. Right. And you're like, this feels weird.

Why is Bugs Bunny having sex with Donald Duck? Yeah. The classic internet meme of the Sonic the Hedge obama backpack right yeah yeah you know that classic one i feel like i used to see it everywhere when i was on holiday where it was like bugs bunny with i don't even know the name of the female bunny a lola lola like and he was he apparently been spanking her i guess because her ass was red

i used to see that one everywhere I was like who looked at that shirt was like oh that's hot I want that on my body and before you come after me for criticizing people's fashion choices I'm currently wearing a League of Legends hoodie that I found in a bargain bin at H&M for, I believe, $5. So... Making it work, though. Thank you. Thank you. I've got it kind of under a denim jacket.

And on the back, as I said, is Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog, 69. All right, as Kit said, we're getting really distracted here today. We're not here today to talk about rip-off and copyright-infringing merchandise. We're here to talk about rip-off and copyright-infringing merchandise. We're here to talk about a paranormal tale. And I have such a great case for us today on this paranormal life. We're going to be diving back into the shadows of time. The year? Irrelevant. Because what we're dealing with, Kit, today,

is an entity that is beyond time. Whoa. Is it kind of a Doctor Who time lord? Not far off. Not far off. We are discussing a certain individual known as the Count of Saint Germain, who is also referred to by his peers as the man who never dies and knows everything. Whoa. To give you an idea of just how old this saint is,

that quote is from renowned 18th century philosopher Voltaire. Voltaire had things to say about the Kant? That's right. Because Voltaire is, to be clear, one of the most famous philosophers of all time. Yeah. He talked about a lot of things, but he also talked about the Kant. Yeah, if you're impressing Kierkegaard, you've got a lot going on.

You're a special kind of guy. That's like Michael Jordan saying, damn, that guy can dunk. Just while we're talking about him, Voltaire was obviously famous for a number of reasons, being an incredible philosopher and writer and novelist.

My favorite thing about Voltaire was he famously drank 50 to 72 cups of coffee a day. What? Is that proper recorded information? That is self-recorded. This is the secret to the genius. This is how he could have so many thoughts

is because his brain was going quicker than the average person. He would sit in a cafe all day writing and he would drink up to 72 cups of coffee a day that is crazy i i feel like i couldn't drink 72 cups of anything a day i mean that's so much liquid you know in my life you are the person who can by far drink the most caffeine notoriously we've said it many times in the podcast before it's not a compliment thank you i appreciate that i really can drink a Monster Energy drink at bedtime.

Yeah. And it doesn't faze him. He can fall asleep instantly. But I don't know if even you can knock back 50 cups of coffee. A few weeks ago, I fell asleep while drinking a Monster Energy drink. Why did you crack it? I was trying to get ready for the gym, and then it was too much, and I just fell asleep. I was trying to get ready for the gym and then it just it was too much and I just fell asleep.

I can only assume, though, the explanation behind this is that coffee in the 18th century, like one drop of current day Red Bull was like 100 coffees back in the day, the 18th century. Maybe their shit was a lot weaker. I would say so. I would say so. You know, we've had a few like key developments in the scientific history of coffee. You know, I personally remember in the last like 10, 15 years when cold brew was invented. Yeah. I'm holding it up to the camera. You can watch this on YouTube. I'm holding up to the camera. My Stumptown Coffee Roasters cold brew canteen. It's just over a liter. It's at 1.2 liters.

It's an enormous vessel. It's a bucket. I bought this in New York City about, I don't know, 2014 or something like that, 2015. And I went to Stumptown Coffee in Manhattan. And they had a deal on. They were like, hey, get yourself a canteen for 20 bucks and we will fill it to the brim with cold brew. And I was like, hey, that is the deal of a century. Coffee in New York is already like eight dollars. That is actually a good deal. Let me I'll use it. I'll use it for water. So fill it up with coffee and I'll take it on the road.

I drank every drop and almost died. I almost keeled over and died, clutching my chest. If anyone isn't familiar with cold brew, it's essentially concentrate. It's like double the f***ing strength, double the f***ing caffeine. It's very strong. I don't know why. It's basically like taking a full liter of my waddy to the dome.

Right, yeah. It could just kill you on a sugar basis alone. I used to brew my own like a twisted little witch that would last me like an entire week. Like I used to have a cauldron that would slow drip for almost like 48 hours. It was insane. And this stuff was jet fuel.

If you just sniffed it, your hair would stick out on ends like a mad scientist. It was the consistency of peanut butter. It was so stiff. It was more like a toothpaste that you would squeeze into his mouth. Hey, look, we're getting really distracted at the start of the podcast. We've got to get back on track. This isn't about Voltaire.

This is about his comrade, the Count of Saint-Germain. Now, this guy was known for many things. His overwhelming charm, his remarkable intelligence, and his abundance of mysterious wealth. However, what he was really known for is his exploration into alchemy. And the results of that exploration? Eternal life. This is the of that exploration? Eternal life.

This is the most eligible bachelor of all time. You said, what did you say? Cool and hot, but also rich and forever young? Yeah, it's a good combination of things for sure. Whatever he did, he cracked it. And I know it's a pretty bold claim. Even I think so. So why do people to this day still believe that he's telling the truth? Let's find

out after a quick word from today's sponsors and a reminder that you can get every episode of This Paranormal Life ad-free on patreon.com. Our story today begins in 1760. And it does happen on a specific date and time. Well, this is silence. This is when it starts. This is when the story kicks off. But the story itself goes beyond time. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Time isn't irrelevant then. It's completely irrelevant except for this little part where you have to remember that as well. Okay. What was the year? 1776? No, it's so important you remember this. Is that when they made Cronenberg? It's 1760.

Okay. Well, 1760. Okay. Well, 60 years. 300 years ago. I don't know if that's such a big difference, but I... This was a party being thrown by the king of France's mistress. Everyone's having a good time. Eating, drinking. And it's France, so you know that champagne is flowing.

As men and women enter the party, their names are proudly announced by the staff. Halfway through the party, a young man walks into the room. He's dressed head to toe in lavish clothes. An effortless charm oozes off his body. The door staff cry out, Presenting the Count of Saint-Germain! Hearing the name, one elderly lady named Countess von Gregory has her interest piqued. She turns to her friends. I once knew a Count of St. Germain. Met him in Venice. Must have been, God, 50 years ago.

I wonder if this boy is his son. Could be. As she turns to the doorway, she can't believe her eyes. Her champagne glasses drop to the floor. This man is the spitting image of the same person that she'd known 50 years ago. Now the countess might well be into her 80s, but her mind is sharp as a tack. She stumbles to her feet and waves to get his attention.

As their eyes meet, a warm smile breaks out on his face. Count Saint Germain? I believe I knew your father from my Venetian days. Such a fascinating fellow. The count's smile got even wider. I'll take my lines for the Count.

Oh, I was actually going to do both parts today. I was going to do both parts today. Oh, sorry. You said he was, sorry, you said he was... Don't apologize and then continue to interrupt. Incredibly charming. that makes the apology inauthentic doesn't it what did you say like incredibly charismatic charming lit up the room

people loved him rich yeah effortless tall didn't say jacked award winning smile so I'll take this guy I should have given you

the old decrepit lady actually decrepit that actually would have been smart yeah no I just because no but you already did the lady so it felt you know by his description I can do both parts it was clear I was going to be playing No, but you already did the lady So it felt You know, by his description alone

I can do both parts It was clear I was going to be playing the part But then you did the old lady So then I can do them both I actually have a pretty wide portfolio Yeah In terms of voice acting

You're being difficult But I would say that It'll be confusing It'll be confusing for the listener, right? And you have already done the old lady So, you know I would Sorry, I've got a bit of a sore throat too, but I can still do it.

Then don't do the voice. I can still do it. Then definitely don't do it. I can do a smooth, sure, my voice isn't smooth as it is. All right, you know what? Hopefully, audience, you're on board with this. I will give Kit the lines. Let me actually trim some of this.

I don't think it's going to come through. I'm going to trim some of this back as well because there was a lot. Ah, brings me back to my old acting days, you know, getting a script through. It's really good. It's two lines. It's two lines I sent on iMessage. So it's not exactly getting. Well, it's not about the length of the line.

I mean, that's what I learned as a background extra. I learned it's not about the size of the script. It's about how much screen time you get. Well, if you're a background extra, you didn't get a script. So that's a good way to view it. I didn't get screen time either. Didn't stop me trying, though. So I'll tee you in once again

as the old lady. She went over and approached this mysterious stranger. Count Saint Germain, I believe I knew your father from my Venetian days. Such a fascinating young fellow. The count's smile grew even wider.

Good lady. No, stop No He's charming, he's nice He's got a smooth caramel voice I've got a I think I've got a This is crazy

This happened on the set of Holby City I've got a frog in my throat And I cannot get rid of it Alright, just roll Come on Good lady I assure you my father never set foot in Venice This is gold

This is absolute gold Gold This is terrible Yeah This is absolute gold. Gold. This is terrible. This is terrible. Just because it sounds like he's lived forever and smoked a thousand years of cigarettes. Okay, hold on. The Count's smile grew even wider. Good lady,

I assure you my father never set foot in Venice, but I myself spent time there not long after the turn of the century. I believe that is when we first met, Countess von Gregory." Dramatic sound effects! She couldn't believe what she was hearing. The count of Saint Germain that she knew in the old days was at least 45. If her math was right, this man should be 95 years old by now. And reminder, this was the 1700s.

People didn't live that long. Despite her doubts, he spent the rest of the evening regaling events from their shared past. By the time the Countess stepped back into her carriage and made her way home, she was convinced that she had just been in the presence of an immortal being. He said one thing, you know? No, he regaled their entire history together. He's the spitting image. He said he was the man that she met all those years ago. Except now she's an old lady and he looks exactly the same.

You know, that is the worst possible way bumping into an acquaintance can go, right? You know, whenever I bump into an acquaintance, you know, of 10 years past these days, it tends to go kind of one way, and it's usually pretty nice. I bump into them, you know, they see me. I'm looking a bit older than the last time I saw them. I see them, they're looking a bit older. You know, we're both holding our kids' hands or whatever, and we go, hey, oh, it's crazy to run into you after all this.

Man, time takes its toll, huh? Oh, crazy. Family life. Oh, my goodness. We're more or less on the same trajectory and page. What you don't want to happen is you look like a shriveled up bag of shit, and for them, nothing has changed. Right, yeah.

Six pack, long flowing golden hair, tan, beautiful teeth, no wrinkles. Right. And you're like, hey, how's life treating you? They're like, amazing, actually. I'm actually just going to university next week. And you're like, how? This is crazy. Yeah.

50 years have passed. Yeah. The last thing you want when you meet someone from your past is to say something like you haven't aged a day and they go yep and you're like and me have i aged have the years been kind oh is that the time i gotta be going you don't want to hear oh is that the time that's when you know you look like shit uh you know, I get that a lot. People see me and they say, wow, you haven't changed at all. Mostly it's because I'm still wearing the same small Pokemon T-shirt

I wore as a 14-year-old boy, gut-busting out of it. I mean, no gut, but that is barely an exaggeration otherwise. All right, watch it. I can joke about it, but you can't joke about it. I was just saying,

you might have a little bit of clothing. I'm wearing a t-shirt or a hoodie from a video game. Yeah, I am actually. But it's kind of cool. And people should wear what they like. Even if what you like is Bugs Bunny slapping the ass of another bunny. All right, I'm coming to your defense now.

I've 180'd. Did I? All right, total tangent here. Did I ever tell you about the shirt I dreamed? I don't think so. I had a dream a long time ago that I was at an arcade with some friends. One of those arcades where you put coins in the machines, play the little games, you get your tokens, and you can exchange them for goods and services. Collected a bunch of tokens in the dream, went up to the front desk, and our tokens couldn't get us jack shit.

Very much what it's like when you do this in real life. You can basically get a rubber band and a paper clip. But the one thing that they did have on offer were these t-shirts. And they were like, look, there's four of you guys here. If you give me all your tokens, I can give you four of these t-shirts. And we were like, okay, fine. What's the t-shirt? And we were like, okay, fine. What's the t-shirt?

And he handed them over to us. And they were kind of like what we were talking about, knockoff t-shirts for Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight, which was just a terrible screen print of Batman's head that said in capital letters, rise like a mother f***er, die like a mother f***er. I was like, we'll take the shirts. Now, this rings some bells. Yeah.

This happened years ago. So this might have come up in the past and I think your friends you know from from IGN other places also know about this. Has the shirt ever been made?

It hasn't been made. Is it a joke? I've gone really close before at making them as Christmas gifts making us all the Batman shirts because I can see them

in my mind how terrible they are. So who knows maybe hey another shirt for the merch store, brother. Right? Who wouldn't want that? Cool Batman shirt. Before we dive into how Saint Germain became immortal, which I'm sure is what everyone is dying to know, let's talk about the

man himself, because this dude is one crazy son of a bitch. All I'll say is he definitely has the life of someone who never died. So where do we start? The short answer is we have no idea But most people agree that he was born sometime around 1690 a book published about his genealogy says that his father was Francis Racozzi the second prince of Transylvania. Oh wow, because I think when we talk about counts, that's where a lot of our heads go.

Yeah. He's the count. And, you know, immortality, living forever, vampires. This is all kind of in hand. Other people believe that he was the illegitimate son of a royal. But I think most of those beliefs have to do with the sheer amount of unexplainable wealth that this guy had. Okay, this guy is Batman coded, Bruce Wayne coded.

He's walking around, hot, young, cool, but mostly rich. Now, where Bruce Wayne, you could track the wealth very easily to his father, we're not able to do that here. Right, exactly. Because his father was presumably an not able to do that here. Right, exactly. Because his father was presumably an ancient caveman or something. He's been alive that long. He's not that old. Yeah. If you want to get really wild, some people claim that he's been alive so long that he attended the wedding where Jesus turned water into wine. All right, well, slow down. Slow down, sunshine,

because that's quite extreme. My boy partied with J-Dog. That's how old slow down. Slow down, sunshine, because that's quite extreme. My boy partied with J-Dog. That's how old he is. And look, I get that this is a pretty insane claim, but listen to how he was described throughout history. Count Saint-Germain was an accomplished violinist. Basically a virtuoso. He could paint like the masters of the Renaissance. Those who encountered him said he spoke pretty much every language he encountered. French, German, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, English, Chinese, Latin, Arabic, and even ancient Greek. Yeah, back then that was pretty much all of them. This guy is either a thousand years old, or he was the first dude to take one of those pills

that Bradley Cooper takes in Limitless. Sure. And unlock 100% of his brain. It's a good point, though. Like, is the idea here that he's extremely brilliant or because that wouldn't be a crazy side effect of being paranormal or is it just he's had so much time?

He's got a lot of time to kill, so he's learning all this shit. I guess you would mean if you're looking for because around this time uh you know there's probably also not that much you can do with your free time uh either race your carriages or whip a poor person that's kind of what just royals did in the olden days so i guess if you have a thousand years on earth you're like like, I'm just going to learn every language. Learning languages was their video games. They're like, I'm going to kick back and play violin. And because it's the 1700s, I mean, there's probably cocaine in your breakfast cereal. So you've got the get up and go required to learn Arabic in two weeks.

If you can get cocaine at the drop of a hat and also you can't die that's a really dangerous combination you're basically mario kart smashing that golden mushroom yeah it's quite sad that if the mario power-up star existed in real life uh I'd probably eat it and then rob a bank. You know, I'm getting lit up by an army of SWAT teams just unloading RPGs into my body while I'm stuffing handfuls of cash into a bag. There's probably like men on the floor being like, please, please don't kill me. I have a wife.

I have a child at home. Please. And the background is just... Shut the f*** up! Shut the f*** up and get on the ground! But alongside all of these amazing qualities, there was an eerie strangeness to Saint-Germain. At times, he seemed almost otherworldly. And it's these attributes that led people to believe that there may have been something more mysterious

and paranormal at bay. No shit. For example, wherever he traveled to, he would set up an elaborate, mysterious laboratory. All right. All right.

All right. All right. Do you have a problem with our first interesting fact about Count St. Germain? He's a playboy. Why does he need a lab? It's the 1700s. They don't even have labs.

Maybe he's making sex potions. You said he was a playboy. He shouldn't need them. Apparently he's the most gorgeous man to ever live. Is there something weird about a guy setting up a secret forbidden laboratory every time he leaves?

It's actually incredibly strange. Unless he is a professional scientist, chemist. Yeah. It's really weird. Which he could be. He's been around for a long time.

He has a lot of skills. The guy was also loaded beyond belief, constantly dripping in jewels. But people could find no records of his bank accounts or business dealings he would go out to dinner with friends but was rarely seen eating his friend said he consisted only on a diet of oatmeal this guy's a legend he's a rock star he doesn't eat he's

dripping with jewels he's a rock star, he was a member of multiple secret societies, including the Freemasons, the Brothers of the Light, the Society of Ascetic Brothers, Order of the Templars, and the Illuminati. Okay, yeah, that's all of them, I think. I didn't know you could actually have multiple. I thought it was like a golf club where you could only pick one kind of. But I didn't realize you could actually be members of both. I guess if you're someone this rich, this swagged out, and you have this much worldly knowledge, maybe every club does want you to be a member. Yeah.

Although his wealth, power, and immortality was a mystery to most people, his close friends knew the secret to it all. Alchemy. Kit, we've talked a little about alchemy on this podcast before, but never as a full episode. We've never really dived into it. Not really. I mean, I can't say that I know a ton, but where my head goes is that this is a kind of like this is kind of what chemistry was before science really existed the scientific process but it was

that was the kind of idea it was like taking different elements and combining them to achieve results but it sort of has a paranormal air to it and of course I feel like the most notorious or the pinnacle of alchemy over the years has always been like the philosopher's stone yes something that could

turn something into gold turn any liquid or any metal i believe into gold yeah yeah i don't know why i love the idea of alchemy so much i think it's got such a cool look and vibe to it and it's also this interesting part of time where, as you said, kind of magic and science were colliding together. And because of that, you have all these like books and all these people who studied it for years, who genuinely believed all of this could happen. This was allegedly the reason why he set up all of these laboratories wherever he traveled. Using something called projection powder, also known as a philosopher's stone, he claimed to be able to transform any metal into pure silver or gold. He also performed rituals that claimed to be able to

reveal the location of valuable objects. And of course, his most precious discovery, the secret to immortality. Luckily Saint Germain didn't keep this knowledge of alchemy a secret forever. He actually wrote two books about it, detailing some of the processes used to perform these miracles. But as a nice little f*** you to the reader, the books were completely encrypted, written in a code so complex that nobody knew what the f*** he was even explaining. Weird thing to do. Why write it on? Who's it for? Right. Are you selling these books? If you're writing a tutorial in code, that kind of goes against the value of the tutorial. If your instructions need their own set of instructions,

they're not good instructions. I suppose, I mean, I guess this is kind of how, like, maybe people did things in ancient times too. I feel like there were coded materials in, let's say, I don't know, ancient Egyptian tombs or ancient things like that. I don't know if that's the idea that he wants this to be he wants it to be found someday or something rather than people just understand his processes and actually cracking it yeah luckily there are pictures in this book

so that's one way we can figure out what's going on uh kit I've got an image here which is one image depicting the ritual to grant eternal life. I'm going to send it to you and figure out if together we can crack this thing. Oh, I love this. A bit of ancient code cracking. Right. We're basically in the fucking Da Vinci code right now, brother. Da Vinci code.

I'm sending this over. We can even put it to the whole group uh the facebook group or our twitters and instagram see if anyone can crack this because if one of us cracks it we got some money on our hands ladies and gentlemen we can sell the potion of immortality all right kit what do you think is going on right here wow now this looks like a good time, potentially. This is a full-color image. It's quite a clear illustration. Yeah.

It is of, broadly speaking, we've got two people here. Is that a man and a woman? I believe so, yeah. Man, completely naked. He's wearing sandals. Woman, naked from the waist up, otherwise wearing a long skirt and boots. Is he on fire or is that a fire just next to him?

That's a fire, I believe, next to the little podium that is in between them both. There's a face on that table. Sorry, I'm getting distracted. I hadn't seen the face. There's a table with a golden goblet. There's a face on the table. I hope that's not like a sort of power rangers style orb with a human in it the woman she's almost knighting the man she's got a sword it seems like

it's either a sword or she's whipping him with like a stick could be a cane yeah that's very true actually it maybe is a stick and then above that we've got what looks like a couple of shelves but kind of just rectangles with writing on them. Some kind of hieroglyphics going on on those. They at times resemble other letters and writing systems, but I think it's probably a code because I don't think it's very consistent. Like I see an X,

I see a Roman numerals for two, I see an M, maybe some Greek alphabet things, but I also see an ancient Egyptian Ankh. I think the Batman symbol is in there somewhere. Sure. Luckily, just when all hope seemed lost, the cryptic code for this book was actually broken

by a mystic slash astrologist who'd been studying the books. This person said, In all my 20 years of experience as a reader of archaic writings, who'd been studying the books. This person said, Usually two or three forms of writing are employed, with letters written upside down, reversed, or with the text written backwards. Vowels are omitted, and at times several letters are missing entirely, with just dots to indicate their number. That's a tough gig. Yeah. As a professional reader of archaic codes. Yeah.

I mean, you've got to be really sure that that thing is worth reading it's true you know I actually had a little taste of this in my youth because believe it or not I was one of the

incredibly gifted children who cracked a little code of our own yeah I know where you're going with this and it wasn't that complicated

do you actually know where I'm going with this the Artemis Fowl series the Artemis Fowl have? The Artemis Fowl. Have I talked about it on this podcast before? I think so, but regale us again. Okay,

because it's a fantastic story. This is the coolest thing I've ever experienced in a book. Essentially, if you've never read the Artemis Fowl series before, it's about fairies.

There's fairies in it and they have their own weird little language that kind of looks like gibberish whenever it's written out. But but importantly the bottom of every page had fairy written on it and you kind of don't think of anything because it looks like cool decoration yeah so you're just like oh they've decorated the bottom of every page but at one point in the story they find an entire note written in fairy language and then are able to translate

that note later on, or at least parts of it. And that's part of the plot of the story. But then as a reader, you're like, oh shit, I could actually compare these two notes and figure out which letters are which symbols. And then by doing that, you can figure out like 15 or 20 letters of the fairy alphabet. And then by trying to write out sentences, you can work out which letters are the missing ones. And essentially they hid an entire second piece of information in the books written on the bottom

of every single page, which as a child, I cracked. And it made me feel like a god. So I can understand why this guy would spend all this time cracking these ancient books. I did it just for fun. This motherfucker's doing it

because he thinks he might get eternal life out of it, which is a pretty sweet deal. I guess when you put it that way, that you didn't need any egging on to want to do it. Whereas this guy could become Jeffff bezos yeah so that seems worth it oh it took 40 years to crack irrelevant time means nothing to me now because i'm going to

drink this little golden potion and live forever uh as i said saint germain actually wrote two books uh this was the first one called la tresinosophie, which means the most holy threefold wisdom. It still exists to this day and is currently being held at the Library of Troyes. The second book, however, became his most famous kit. They call it the Triangle Manuscript. Now, I know all of this is pretty crazy, but they're only going to get crazier right after a few words from today's sponsors. Feast your eyes on this.

Right off the bat, that is, without a doubt, a triangular book, which is, I will say, is breaking my brain somewhat. It seems like crazy that something so obvious I've never seen before in my 32 years on Earth. A triangular book? A book that's not a rectangle or a square. He really was a psycho. And the insides do not disappoint. I mean, this is code after code of ancient archaic alphabet.

I mean, this is code after code of ancient archaic alphabet. Diagrams of kind of looking like astrological symbols, geometric patterns, diagrams, beautiful illustrations. It's really, you know, even if it doesn't contain the secrets of immortality, this thing is beautiful. It's like an ancient mystic text that's survived hundreds of years and it's just incredible looking. Believe it or not, Kit, two copies of this book have survived to this day and they're both at the Getty Research Library in Los Angeles, California. Oh, that's interesting. When this episode comes out, I believe it'll be just a few days before we are in California

in preparation for our US live tour. We should 100% go and check this out. I think you can just go visit it. The triangle book of alchemy and immortality is just in the building. I was gonna say that doesn't sound like we can just go in,

maybe, if it's a research library, but I don't know. Maybe you can. Yeah, that's a good point. I should look that up before I kick down the doors with my potions and test tubes. It's like, and it's in a private collection in Los Angeles, California. We need to go. It's like, no, but it's, a guy owns it.

It's in the city, and I will find it. As long as I drink the potion in the book before security shoot me, everything will be fine. There's like a billionaire living in the Hollywood Hills. He just wakes up one morning and he can just hear outside his window do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do This is the book that allegedly buried in the code reveals the secrets to gaining eternal life.

The exact same method in which Saint Germain was able to live for possibly thousands of years. Unfortunately, as you could have guessed, the whole text is written with a cipher. The only non-encrypted portion is the Latin inscription at the front that says, this book is a gift generously given by the Count of Saint Germain, alongside a picture of a dragon. Yeah, you can't say it's generous if you're the Count. It's not for you to say. I don't know. it's a pretty generous gift making you a demigod yeah well decide do you want us to read it or not put it in the code or not i think my granny said she gave me a pretty generous gift when i opened a birthday card and

two dollars fell out of it so if anyway if someone can claim that is a generous gift, I think an invisible shield of time armor is actually pretty good. People have managed to work out some bits and pieces. Frustratingly, you need to get your hands on what's referred to as Count Jermaine's longevity amulet, I believe, to perform most of the ritual. Well, that seems like that's the f***ing... What? How is Thanos going to write a book about how I took over the universe and how you could do it too?

Step one, own all the Infinity Stones. Get the glove. Yeah, it's one of those things where you hear about those people. It's like, I have a huge portfolio of property that is worth millions of dollars. How did I get it? My grandfather died and gave me it. It's like, I feel like the secret to the success was having the big

thing that made it all possible. Right. We need more details on this longevity amulet. Right. Because I feel like a lot of this book is Saint-Germain going to be like, you know me, I've always kind of promoted the healthy lifestyle. I don't drink too much. I don't eat carbs after 6 p.m. I have the longevity amulet. It's like, well, hold on. Hold on one second there.

About the carbs? No, no, no. Not about the carbs. The thing is about the carbs is they slowly release energy. So you wouldn't want to have to, you wouldn't want to eat them past 9 p.m. The amulet, yes, it plays a small part uh in the process but it's really through the thousands

of years the amulet has granted me that i've been able to cultivate such a healthy lifestyle okay it just seems like without one we don't need the others right it all plays it all plays an important part you know i always eat my five fruit and veggies a day. I try and hit my 10,000 steps. Because of the amulet, obviously, if you stab me, I get younger. And if you were ever to pierce my skin, again, because of the amulet, I bleed gold. Yeah, see, that seems pretty, yeah. That seems like where all the money came from, too.

So it really seems like everything always comes back to the amulet. But I guess it's kind of like... Don't list a bunch of things that are irrelevant and then say something about the amulet. Well, I have a Peloton bike. I have a Peloton bike. I do classes Monday to Friday. That's why I'm so toned.

And... Yeah, I have the amulet. I have the amulet of longevity. Yeah, that's... Of course, yeah. Well, don't get like annoyed that we keep asking you about the amulet.

Well, I am a little grumpy because I've done a lot of work over the past millennia to become a healthy man. And a lot of it is because of the amulet, the amulet of longevity that also enables me

to see through walls and find treasure. All right, that's enough. I mean, the only problem is we don't really know the whole context around the amulet because we're saying that this is something he has that's enabled him to live this long.

The other version of it is maybe this is something he made himself. He discovered through alchemy. Okay, if we can art attack this, if we can get some PVA glue and some cardboard tubes and make our own amulet, I'm all for it. I've got a picture of the amulet. Well, to be fair,

the fact that I have a picture of the f***ing amulet implies that it still exists. Someone has it and knows about it. It might even be in the same location in Los Angeles as the book, but I hunted online and I couldn't find anyone saying where

the amulet was located. That seems convenient. Yeah. Because I feel like if you have the amulet, even if you are immortal, you're not going to tell anyone that you have it. Right. Here is a picture, Kit, of what the amulet of longevity looks like. Oh, okay. All right.

That is interesting. Not what you're thinking here in your minds, probably, listeners. You're probably thinking of a jewel, a glowing jewel on a chain. It's basically a sheet of metal inscribed with more esoteric symbols, which sort of leads you to believe maybe it's less about the material. And maybe this wasn't mined from the blood of virgins, but actually its power comes from the symbols on it. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

The metal itself, it's not very flashy. The metal itself is very basic. It's all about the design. There's too much going on in this thing for us to explain it to you guys. But it does look like some kind of, similar to the picture we talked about, some kind of setup for a ritual, things being in certain places. Before we go any further into this story, I think we have to address the elephant in the room.

If Saint Germain is immortal, where is he? Shouldn't he be kicking about still to this day? Could be. Me and you, Rory, don't really regularly hang around the kind of establishments where you might find the cunt. Now, if we were hanging out at Monte Carlo Casino three nights a week, maybe we would see the Count. Right. I mean, I guess if you are someone who's immortal, you kind of, you can't really be

a public figure because... Not too public. People are going to get suspicious. Yeah. Even though we are kind of in the dark about the Count's origins, we do know pretty much exactly how his life unfolded later. In the 1740s, he worked as a diplomat in France. He was said to undertake dangerous secret missions for the king throughout Europe. In 1760, he became best buddies with famous dirty dog Casanova. This is around the time that Saint Germain stopped giving a shit about keeping his powers a secret. Casanova said that Saint-Germain was a, quote, extraordinary man who would casually and confidently tell people he was 300 years old. He also told everyone he knew the secret of universal medicine

and that he could melt diamonds. You know, what I will say is I remember being at uni and, you know, I'd head out with the guys that I lived with. Sure. I always hated that because I lived with several good looking dudes. These guys were all taller than me, better looking than me, more well dressed than me. Sure. That made being a single guy at university a pretty tough place to be when you're at the bar, because it meant that I was not second, third or fourth in pecking order, but probably

sixth if some girls were coming over and were picking people to talk to. Yeah. You know, just to give you an indication of how sexy these guys were, when Game of Thrones was filming here in Belfast, pretty sure all of these dudes were cast as beautiful wild men of the north. Yeah, one of them was like a king's guard. One of them was one of the Unsullied, if that means anything to you. Right. You know, just soldiers.

Yeah, beefy men. Kit was also cast in the Game of Thrones series. I believe you were one of Littlefinger's twinks. Yeah. No. I was a chambermaid. Right in the brothel. I was a chambermaid.

I was... In the brothel. I didn't know men could be chambermaids, but I found out that day. Also, Littlefinger didn't have twinks, okay? Yes, I did wear Littlefinger's coat. Right, yeah. Because they were like, we don't have anything little enough for you.

So they had to dig out Littlefinger's coat. Yeah, they were like, this is really hard to put you anywhere because we don't have hobbits in this universe. And your little nasty five foot three ass just doesn't fit in this world. Yeah, I'm not five foot three, just for the record. They were like,

can we do a Lord of the Rings thing where it's like forced perspective? Can we make him look like a man if we put him really close to the camera? And they were like, at this point, it doesn't seem like it's worth it. Let's just get one of his roommates

to stand in for him. And you're like, no, I can be a knight. Can I? You're trying to lift one of the swords up And you're like, no, I can be a knight. You're trying to lift one of the swords up. You're like, oh, I thought the replicas would be lighter. You guys really went out for the full metal. I was basically a toddler on set.

If you're watching on YouTube, I look normal size. But once I was in the Game of Thrones universe, it's not a joke. I am in Game of Thrones. I think the only time I ever made it on camera is like I'm in Tommen's wedding I'm in the background

I'm in the the congregation I'm sitting at the wedding I think it was the only time I made it on screen point being some of the little

brothel boys were brought in for the I was supposed to be a lord or something why would a brothel boy be at Tommen's wedding

he's like king or whatever I was supposed to be a powerful lord wearing a coat that was too small for him sure

the point being alright mother f***er I was I was I was Charlie Hunnam's stand-in and yes

Charlie Hunnam's stand-in before me quit and they were absolutely desperate to find anyone with a remotely similar hair colour

because of course I'm not remotely as jacked as Charlie or as handsome or as tall but hair colour wise

at that time we were somewhat similar was that the same filming set where the director got your name wrong and you were too

polite to correct him for the entire duration of the shoot? I was called Ty, yeah. Ty! Ty, which isn't even a name, really. I guess it is Ty Evans. The point being that me hanging with my broskies,

I wasn't getting a look in because the guys I was hanging around with were too hot. So for the count, he was having to spit some different game because he was hanging around with were too hot. So for the count, he was having to spit some different game because he was hanging around with Casanova. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Casanova's cool, but I'm 300 years old. I'm a legend. I'm badass.

I'm magic. Yeah, you got to up your, you got to peacock a little bit. Exactly. You got to be driven in those jewels. You got to have the gold. You got to have that longevity amulet out on display. He moved around a lot, eventually ending up in hamburg germany in 1779 after years of living comfortably

in a royal castle saint germain passed away i know what you're gonna ask it i know what you're gonna ask you mother f***er how does it we're so late in the podcast. How does an immortal pass away? Well, the truth is no one really knows how he died. I have a couple theories. I have a few theories that involve the stealing of an amulet. Because I assume if that thing so much as doesn't touch your skin, you turn to your original age. As soon as that thing is disconnected from doesn't touch your skin, you turn to your original age. As soon as that thing is disconnected from the rope around your neck.

Yeah, you turn to dust. Yeah. There's a few stories out there about catching pneumonia, drowning in a storm, finally just reaching the end of his powers. I mean, if you're becoming immortal by drinking liquid metal, that's going to catch up to you at some point, presumably. But there are no official, properly recorded accounts. The strangest part, though, Kit, Saint Germain's estate upon his death consisted of some clothes,

a toothbrush and comb, and a couple hundred bucks cash. You know when you get called to the meeting where they're going to discuss the will, and you're like, obviously sad, but you're like, damn, this is meeting where they're going to discuss the will and you're like you're like obviously sad but you're like damn this is crazy i wonder what's in the will you know you ain't getting jack shit when the number two item is a comb a hairbrush like are these in an order of like least important and we'll get to the longevity amulet at the end if they start listing comb hairbrush all right i'm gonna head out because uh you know what i'm

good right give it to the charity shop because i'm i'm all set he didn't finish this can of diet coke so there's half of that left it's like there's nothing here is there there's nothing here he had a gamestop gift card of which he'd only redeemed 13 of the 55 pounds. He's like, everything else he said, what he wanted to be buried with. No, this is the suspicious thing. There was nothing in his estate. There was no diamonds, no gold, no jewels. And weirdly, no laboratory equipment. So you mean to tell me

that for the last hour, you've been telling me the story of an unbelievable man, a man of myth and legend who was immortal. Yeah. And was richer than any other man alive. Crazy rich. Swagged out.

Now you mean to tell me that he just died. He just keeled over and died one day and he actually wasn't rich. Well, this is the question that we have to ask Kit. If all of his valuables were unaccounted for Quote unquote At the time of his death Did the Count really die at all? No one knows how he died

Or when he died But allegedly one day The Count doesn't exist anymore I didn't think he was dead And all his shit's gone What is happening? You said I didn't think he was dead. And all his shit's gone. What is happening? You said, I didn't think he was dead. You said, tragically, he died.

I'm like, okay, how did he die? And you're like, well, there's no record of it. Because he's still alive. You're like, you told me he was dead. So who said, did a dog in the street say he was dead like who's saying he's dead if there's no accounts who thinks he's dead apparently you don't I'm like telling

you he's dead and I'm like but really he never died at all you f***ing idiot you told me he died he was immortal after all how could he die you dunce the theory is that count germain died at some He told you he was immortal after all. How could he die? You dunce. The theory is that Count Germain died at some point around that time.

And the person who was claiming to be Saint Germain took up all his shit and moved somewhere else, changed identity. He was like, that part of my life is done. I'm going to keep all my swag and all my stuff and just go somewhere else, take a new name, become somebody else. And I know that this is a wild theory, but there's a huge list of witnesses that claim that they straight up just saw him again later. All right. In 1785, Freemason records show that the count was their designated representative speaker at a convention. Records show that the Count was their designated representative speaker at a convention. That's six years after his death. All right, well, that is a real receipt, isn't it? There are also people that knew him when he was alive who have pictures with him after his death.

What do you mean pictures? There weren't photographs. There was at the time this one was taken. In 1999 at Woodstock, he was seen crowd surfing to Limp Bizkit. It's a very old picture, but there is genuinely a picture with some of the people who knew him. They were like, oh, yeah, we hung out with him a bunch. Here's a picture of him. You're like, what? You're telling me he lived in the 1700s?

Let's recap the timeline because I hate this story. So he was first. It's a good story. When was he talking to the. It's a good story. And when I crack the secret code in the triangle book, you're not getting a drop of immortal juice.

Because I'm conscious that we started our story in 1760 and now we're in 1780s or whatever. I'm going to tell you that I'm giving you a glass of the immortal juice and really I'm just going to heat mercury in a jar. I'm probably going to notice liquid metal drinking that. You're like, you have an amulet on. I don't have an amulet.

Should we both have amulets? It's like, no, this one does us both. It's like a two for one. There's an area of an effect. It's all good. I'm just conscious that where our story began and where our story has ended is very much within a human adult lifespan.

The only indication that he has lived for longer than a normal human was one old senile lady said he looked like a man she had met before. That is true. That is true. That is true. Yes, a lot of what we talked about today took place within one human's lifespan. Albeit, that would be a long lifespan for a human around this time.

Would it? I thought you said he was like 40 in 1960. We've only gone like 30 years, 20 years. The story began in 1760 yes at a time in which he was about 40 years old okay known by a woman he met 50 years ago so he should have been 95 by the time this story started the last events that we're talking about today are taking place in 1785, which is already 30 more years. So he should already be 25 years on top of that. So he should be 120, 130 years old. All I'm saying is the only claim that he had ever been seen before that was one woman.

Do you not remember the part where I told you he hung out with Jesus? He partied with Jesus? No source on that one. I don't like the way you're treating this case. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I just don't appreciate it. Because I'm bringing you all of this information.

I'm the one telling you that this knowledge, this ancient text exists and are within our grasp. Mother f***er. I'm just saying. I'm just saying, I'm just saying if someone was definitively immortal, I would hope that the story would span more than 25 years. It wouldn't end in their death. God damn it.

God damn it. God damn it. All right. You may have, you may have discovered a bit of a plot hole, I think is what they would say. This is unbelievable. Hey, folks, you can lead a horse to water. Am I right?

But you can't make it drink from the immortal potion. And that's what's happening today. It's not my fault if you listeners and Kit don't want to take on board the knowledge and the wisdom and the ancient teachings that I'm bringing to the table today. Because I, for one, actually think this is really interesting. You don't know what the teachings are. It was just a woman whipping a naked man. And I'm pretty interested in that. I'm sure you are.

You goddamn freak. But I don't see what it has to do with eternal life. Look, you don't put normal shit In a book shaped like a triangle There's already something Pretty weird going on in that thing What about a book shaped like a circle That's so f***ed up

That would actually be nuts, I can't even think about it Well Kit, if you're not enjoying The journey I've taken you on For the last hour or so You'll be happy to know that we're at the end. We've reached our conclusion. That is really the story of Count Saint Germain.

There are... But many believe he didn't die. That is the end of the story though. So, you know, nothing did happen after that. But between you and me, I think he lived for hundreds more years. There were, researcher Amy did very graciously include sightings of the Count that essentially went up to the 1970s.

As I expected, you were already going to be pretty skeptical by the time you reached this point. So I didn't need to tell you that a guy 40 years ago claimed to be the count. He returns around the laptop and shows me a picture of the count it's Nicolas Cage it is award-winning actor Nicolas Cage. Well that was a big part of this case that I did look into and I decided not to include it but there are a huge list of celebrities that people believe are quote unquote immortal. Yeah, I think we talked about it in the very early days of this podcast back in 2017, 2018. Yeah, famously Keanu Reeves, Nick Cage, several ones. Yeah.

And it's, you know, some people who just look like they haven't really aged. There's some people who there are photographs of people from the past and it's borderline identical. It's quite strange and concerning. And I guess that would happen with this individual, the Count of St. Germain. As you know, this is just the Count of St. Germain. There's someone who could see a picture of him now and say, that looks like my friend Michael. Yeah.

The guy who's rich and lives in San Francisco. And Michael's like, oh, I don't know what you're talking about. And it's just a different name. They've just changed their name and location. Because as an immortal, you have to move. Otherwise, people get suspicious. You have to keep changing your identity over time. It's kind of sad and beautiful, isn't it?

That's the price of immortality. Blessed yet cursed. True. A real monkey paw wish. As you know, at the end of every episode, we have to come down on a conclusion as to whether or not we believe there is any truth to this story. Whether or not we believe it is really paranormal or not. In the account of Saint Germain, I mean, we can just look specifically at this son of a bitch. I don't think we need to talk about alchemy immortality philosopher's stone those are topics broad enough for larger investigations

specifically in a couple days time when i touch down in lax and break into the getty research library uh so what are your thoughts today kit uh Do you believe there's any truth to this claim? I do find it pretty fascinating, this idea of an ageless person who is cracked. I mean, this is really what it feels like all kind of scientific and philosophical study was about for thousands of years, was about trying to live forever. What is the key? And with these new, at the time, it was all very exciting, wasn't it? Discovering the scientific method, discovering things like gravity and that Earth isn't the center of the universe.

People felt, well, it must be possible to achieve anything, to achieve, to beat death itself. People are still obsessed with it. You know, all the billionaires now, they're all obsessed with longevity, preserving life. And they've just doubled down on the science aspect of it. And that's where we're going wrong. We need to be doing weirder shit like this, boiling metals and drinking them. So it makes sense that we've had people

through the years who've claimed to have cracked it. But I think my problem lies with what I mentioned before, which is just the hard evidence of, you know, I would hope for more accounts. And as you say, yes, they're trying to lay a low profile. It may be that we're only seeing the clues that he allowed us to see. But I would want a little bit more concrete evidence

about when he turned up through history. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, you need to see just pictures, really, of a dude who looks exactly the same turning up. Yeah, accounts of a guy, you know, who fought at the Battle of Hastings and then he turned up at the D-Day landings, you know. Oh man, you have no idea how far this stretches back.

Some people say Saint Germain helped found America. Some people say he's basically, he could foretell the future through his mystic powers. I think he also could like teleport, go through walls, all these abilities that alchemy has granted him. It's a pretty wild claim today, I think. Weirdly, it is a case where we do have physical evidence because the mother f***er wrote two books telling you how to do it. Yeah. The cruel irony being the books are written in a code so complex it would take more

than a mortal's life to crack it uh i don't know if the full code of the triangle book has been deciphered yet but uh if we can if we can take a little trip to the getty research center and get our hands on that longevity amulet you think you're to be the one to do it on the spot? I just want to try it on. I just want to try on the amulet and just see how it feels. Could I get one made on Etsy if the material doesn't matter? And then, you know, we could start testing it. I could start jumping off stuff. I could start getting hit in the back of the head with wooden planks.

We could see how far I can take my homemade longevity amulet. But unfortunately, we do have to come down on a conclusion today. I'm going to throw it to you, Kit, to kick things off. It's got to be an O. Ah, shit. I want this one to be a yes just because of my love of the world of alchemy. And I find all this shit really, really interesting and cool. But unfortunately, I can't say that without a shadow

of a doubt this is paranormal um this could be someone with just some pretty wild claims and a lot of ill-gotten gains because that's another reason why you want to be a mysterious person to those around you if you stole all your money and it's illegal that you have it yeah and you kind of need a cover story for why you have it so you say that someone goes why are you so rich and you go uh i can make gold out of anything right yeah no i can't let the end of the podcast go without bringing up the topical story of have you seen this like guy who's all over the news who wants to live forever yes yes the silicon valley guy who is yeah doubling down on all of these insane ways to what does he want to live to like 100 or 200 yeah his name's brian johnson you can look it up

he's 45 years old he's a tech ceo and he claims to be biologically 18 years old. The problem is he looks like shit now. He looks terrible. I've seen better looking 45 year olds at the dive bar on my street. As my friend said on Twitter, he's achieved nothing that you couldn't match with a bottle of Just For Men and regular exercise. Right.

He's like in shape, I guess, and his hair isn't grey, which honestly for 45 isn't that impressive. It really isn't, yeah. I mean, he's going full science mode. He's getting like red light therapy, lasers beamed into him. He's really going for it. I think he takes 110 pills a day of various supplements and vitamins and things. I'd rather die.

I'd rather just die and look like shit. Yeah. So not making any connections to this case, but it's always good to see what kind of a scientific charlatan looks like. Yeah. I think if it came down to eating all his pills and doing all his weird shit or just trying the amulet, I'd try the amulet. It's a bit sexier, isn't it?

Yeah, a little less work too. I am razzing, I am roasting, but I will give it to you. What a story. Thank you. Always fascinating. A kind of historical paranormal legend like that is traceable through history.

I agree. Very cool, very compelling. It's a very cool story. And we haven't really done one like it on the podcast before. So I hope you enjoyed it. And hopefully we'll get into the world of alchemy even more

on future episodes of the podcast. But for right now, Kit, we've got bigger things on our plate. Do we? Because at the time this podcast is released, we are just about to kick off our This Paranormal Life World Tour! Oh my God.

Yeah, when this is coming, I will be opening my British Airways app and having to check in. We are about to head off on the adventure of a lifetime. We've never been to America with a podcast.

And it's happening. So we are going to, you guys know where we're going, but LA, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Somerville, Belfast, Glasgow, Manchester and London. At the time of recording this,

I believe there are a few tickets left for the shows. So it's not too late. Head on over to thisparanormallife.com forward slash tour and pick them up. Come along.

We are just entering October spooky season. We want you to October spooky season. We want you to be carving pumpkins. We want you to be eating candy corn. And of course we want you to be having an authentic paranormal experience at this paranormal life live. So hopefully we will see you all at these shows. I can't wait to sink back some American beers all over the States and then some Guinness and then some Guinness, and then some, what do they drink up north? What do they drink in Glasgow?

Some Iron Brews, some Buckfast. Yeah, that's exactly right. I mean, whiskey, obviously. Of course. And then finally in London, some champagne to celebrate coming home and the end of the tour. And as always,

we also like to celebrate at the end of every episode of this podcast by thanking people who support us on Patreon. Thank you to Topher. We call him

Topher the Gopher because this sneaky little individual actually is someone that people pay in the paranormal commune to dig holes for them underneath the security walls so they can... People are trying to get into the commune to dig holes for them underneath the security walls

so they can... People are trying to get into the commune that bad? That's crazy. Yeah, this is actually people are paying Topher to get them out. Topher the gopher smuggles you out which is so weird. It's like did Adam and Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden? Let's track them down. I will kill him.

Keep it light, Topher. Everything's fine. We'll make an example of him. We'll make him. Keep it light, Topher. Everything's fine. We'll make an example of him. We'll make an example of him in the commune. Everything's going to be fine, Topher. Just stop digging the holes. And thank you also to Taylor Boniface. Taylor's a failure.

Wow. That's kind of mean. Don't shoot the messenger. Some people are just honest. Hey, I'm just honest. And the first step in not becoming a failure anymore is just admitting where you're at. Hey, look at me.

I know you look at me today, Taylor, and you think, wow, what a hunk. What a genius. Right. But at one point, I was one at one point i was one of little fingers twinks okay so you were yeah i was i was i was absolutely and and i took that gig because they paid me to do a lot of stuff that didn't even end up on camera uh which thank god thank god my career would be over but the point what did taylor fail at, it hurts to even, it's embarrassing even me to say,

but Taylor came second place at the Olympics 100 meter sprint for America. 100 meter sprint? Yeah. Second place? You know, trained their whole life to come second, you know what I mean? So Taylor's an Olympic athlete.

So me and Taylor know a little bit about failure. We do, we do, we do, we do. All right, Taylor, I think you did a. We do. We do. We do. We do. All right. Taylor, I think you did a great job. Keep it up. Keep training. The silver is enough. It's much better than anything Kit has achieved in his life.

All right. And, you know, if you want to melt that silver down and make some sort of immortality potion with it, I'd be happy to sample it. I've got the amulet. So let me know, Taylor, and thank you for supporting us on Patreon. If you want a shout out at the end of the podcast or any of the cool rewards that we have on Patreon, like bonus episodes every month and every week, head on over to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. Hope you enjoyed this week's episode. And you know, me and Kit, we kit we're gonna be even if we're not immortal

we're gonna be podcasting forever so look forward to that with another podcast next tuesday see ya