This Paranormal Life - Don’t Follow These Children Into The Woods - The Emilcin Abduction

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Every year on the 10th of May, UFO enthusiasts from all over the world journey to a small village in Poland to gather around a mysterious monument in the woods… This monument was built to commemorate a bizarre encounter where a man named Jan Wolski not only encountered a UFO, but claims that he was in fact, abducted. The strangest part of all? The first thing the aliens did was ask him to take all his clothes off… Follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Secret Society Facebook Community⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get access to weekly bonus episodes! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Buy Official TPL Merch!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠thisparanormallife.com/store⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Edited by Philip Shacklady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every year on the 10th of May, UFO enthusiasts from all over the world journey to a small village in eastern Poland to gather around a mysterious monument in the woods. This monument was built to commemorate one of the most famous UFO incidents in Polish history, the case of Jan Boltsky, the man who claims he not only encountered, but was abducted by a UFO. But as Jan a trustworthy witness, did the creatures really offer him food inside the craft? the craft. And where did his clothes go? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Welcome back everybody to This Paranormal Life. This week, we are diving in to the case of Jan Volsky, the most famous alien abduction in Poland's history. I can't say

this is a place we've been a lot on the podcast before, so it's an exciting, unexplored territory. It's actually true. Have you been to Poland? I've actually been a few times. I went once as a 13-year-old when I was pitching for Ireland's first ever Little League baseball team. That's a true story. True. And then also a couple years ago for a wedding where I got really drunk and almost fist-fought the father of the groom. That's crazy.

That's also a true story. But that was kind of my present to him on his wedding day that I won't fight your dad. And then, of course. Your dad shouldn't be such a prick, though. That's my bit of advice. Yeah, it's just you're a guest and they're like paying for you to be there. So just kind of shut up and drink, I think. You know, it sounds like you drank too much.

Yeah, that was really the problem. Yeah. Have you ever been to Poland? Never know. Wow, it's a beautiful place. Yeah. It really is. And apparently quite a paranormal place.

Let me tell you, Kit, you wouldn't want to be there in 1978 because that is when our story begins. On the 10th of May, 1978, we're in a little place called, let's see if I can get this right? Emilsen, Emilsen in Poland. It's early in the morning and local 71-year-old farmer named Jan Bolski was outriding his horse-drawn cart to the outskirts of town through the small wooded lanes. It was a day like any other and Wolski leaned back, enjoying the sounds of hooves, plopping on a path he traveled hundreds of times before and all of a sudden the horses cried out and the carriage stalled to a halt.

Ski leapt up to see what was causing the delay. And in the distance he spotted two children walking down the middle of the lane. Lousy kids, hey, this road is Vervaldsky and his horses! The two children began walking slowly towards the carriage, moving in a strange, synchronized rhythm, almost like robots. Why do I think they kids, why do I have a sneaking suspicion? Yeah, because kids don't do any... in a structured robotic way.

Yeah. They're like if you gave an energy drink to a slinky. They're just falling downstairs, moving like a wave. They rarely move in a robotic way. The only youths that were moving synchronized at this time were the Hitler youths. Okay. That's enough. ...be kind of trained from a young age to obey the commands of their Fuhrer.

Right. Fuhrer, I can't say it. Wolski cautiously shook the reins, prompting his horses to continue to continue to down the lane towards the kids. But what a mistake that was. As Wolski quickly approached the figures, he realized, these aren't children. Knew it.

Their limbs were long and gagging. Why did I know also they looked nothing like children? He's blind as a fucking bat as well. Walski was 71. Wolski could see their olive green skin poking out from gaps in the tight seamless. jumpsuit. And I know that this sounds a little bit silly already, but I do want people to take this seriously because, as I said, this is historically Poland's most credible UFO abduction.

So I want to make sure we're treating it with respect. Sure. But also is it like the same way it's the most credible, you know, UFO abduction. When it's, you know, it's like saying Jamaica's greatest ever bobsleigh team. And we're referring to the cool runnings team. It's like, you know. Both fictional? Yes. No, no, of course not. But it's also maybe the country isn't known for that thing. Oh, true. So you're saying there aren't many of them? I just wonder. But we'll see, we'll see. Wolsky's carriage slowly rolled to a stop in front of the creatures.

Uh, hello there. Without hesitating, the two beings hopped up onto the carriage and sat beside him. Speaking a strange language that Wolsky had never heard before, he naively assumed, that these guys were foreigners because of their, quote, slanted eyes and prominent cheekbones. Mm, classic. I think it's safe to assume this individual has never left Poland before. Yeah. Because that ain't what foreigners look like. I know it's an incredible world out there where everyone looks different,

and they all come from different places. No one has green skin and speaks with their mind. Yeah, but he's approaching the world with a childlike sense of wonder. You know, children don't see race. They don't see creed. They don't see anything. Well, Hitler youth. They definitely did.

Yeah, because we ought to think about them. Yeah, some children, very judgmental. But most children don't. They just accept the world. And so I think my four-year-old daughter, I mean, I think if you showed her a cling on, she'd be like, do you want to play football? She wouldn't think any way about it at all. What if I showed your daughter this? She'd be traumatized.

She'd be. What I'm showing, Kit, is an illustration of what these little guys looked like. Yeah. Just that there's another picture of what these little creatures look like. Wow. If you put a lizard in a wetsuit, that's what it kind of looks like. Bolski said that once the little men were sitting beside him, they carefully guided his horse and carriage down the road towards a clearing in the woods.

And as they reached the other side of the trees, he couldn't believe his eyes. There, hovering above the clearing was a large white craft hanging silently in the air. This object was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It had no windows, no markings on the outside, no clear way that it is suspending itself in the air, just four black drill-like spikes that were poking out from the side of the side of the air. the craft and emanating a strange humming sound. Wow. That's quite a detailed description.

I like that. Yeah. Maybe most worrying of all, extending downward from the craft was an elevator. Yeah, okay. He's like, guys, I should really be getting back to, no, okay. We're going. They're pointing towards the elevator.

No, no, no, I see what you're, no, I see what you want to do. But like, I have a whole thing today. I was going to market. I picked up like a bunch of potatoes and I'm going. I'd love to, but I'm a little stuffed up. I don't feel great, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's nice that they're giving him an option. I feel like a lot of abduction stories, they point a pipe at you,

and then you blink, and you're in the middle of the desert with your pants down by your ankles. Yeah. And goo leaking from, I won't say where. No, no, no, no, no. That doesn't have that often. They'll be scared, guys. The small beings pointed towards the elevator. For whatever reason, Wolski obliged and stepped onto the elevator.

The platform quickly ascended and just like that, he had entered the craft. Oh man. We're kicking off pretty damn quickly. We're going zero to a hundred here. Yeah. How little do you have to have going on in your life that you could be brought on a side quest like this? But I don't think he had too much. You suggested he had choice in the matter.

I don't think he had much choice. He did. Are you sure? They just jumped on board, joined him for a little ride, and he was like, I'm going to go home. They were like, no, go this way. And he's like, okay. And they bring him to the ship, and they're like pointing at the elevator. And he's like, all right, yeah.

Yeah, but that's how every gangster movie works. You know, the mob, they come in, they go, you were going to go for a little walk. And you're like, well, I, no, I've got to work. I think the first thing they do in those movies is say, I don't want to go for a little walk. Yeah. And then a gun pokes out the window. There's no guns here. These are just little guys.

I think even if the gun doesn't show up, they go, yeah, you know, my boss knows your boss, and my boss knows your children, actually, and I think it'll be pretty mutually, sorry, mutually mute. I never said that one out loud before. I've never ever seen it written down. You know, defense, we've been speaking English for like 15 minutes now. We've been learning pretty quick, but some of these words are confusing. That's why we sound like a twadler. Sorry, I meant to say a twadler. No, I can't. get that one either. Mutually

beneficial. Yeah. That we go for a little walk. Yeah. Or you're going to see my Wawalva. That's another hard one. We wore a. We've got. Remova? We wolver. We wolver.

I'm just saying I'll blow your head shmove off. Bitch. I think there just might be an implication. Of violence. Well, who knows? An implication of goo

out the butt. Okay. So, yeah, the goo in the butt. Yeah. The whole thing. Kit, I am aware that every time someone is abducted by aliens on this podcast, it almost always leads to a double no. But is it still an abduction if you go willingly?

That's the conversation we're going to have today on the podcast. Once inside the craft, Wolsky was met with four more strange beings that all moved around in the interior in the exact same manner. It was if they were all controlled by a single mind, which is only more worrying because Walski says the beings then gestured for him to take his clothes off. Now, I think if he, I don't want to jump ahead in the script here, feels like he's going to take his clothes. Which would, to me, is like that that means that he doesn't have a choice.

Or maybe they're doing some kind of mind control because why would you? Why would you take a close off? Why did he follow them? Why did he get in the elevator? I think if anything at that point you would go a little bit like a first date gone wrong, you go, oh, sorry. Sorry, I just got like mixed signals wrong. I took the wrong cues here. I, this wasn't why I came here. Yeah, I want to know what the gesture is for take your clothes off.

Yeah. Because we all know that one. Stop it, stop it. Well, I don't know what, like this? This is the most credible UFO case. It is. And you just did this into the camera? Oh my God.

In some versions of the story, it says that Wolski simply denied and the creatures were fine with it. Uh-huh. Which is hilarious in its own right. They were like, Take your clothes off. He's like, no, I'm not doing that. All right, fine. Put him back down.

We'll get a different one. Yeah, work sometimes. Work sometimes for sure. But whether or not he did decline the first time in every version of the story, he did end up taking his clothes off. One creature approached him holding a tray-like device,

which they gently slid beneath his chin. Another device was held near his mouth like a breathalyzer. While being examined, Wolsky said that he saw birds inside the craft, moving their legs and wings, but apparently immobilized somehow, stuck floating in the air. Wolski claimed that the beings, while examining him, ate some strange type of food that resembled an icicle but was as soft as cake. They offered some to him, which he declined. It was cold, frigid in fact, but sweet, sweeter than sugar itself. And I think they, when they've done drawings of it, it's like a spike. Yeah.

It's like an icicle that they were just... They said smashing up into crystals and ingesting. And I was like, ingesting how? The nose? Like, how were these getting done? But Wolski did decline some of the icicle treats. Interesting. Once he was done, he was then led to the door.

He bowed to the beings. And they bowed in return. I don't know why that gets me. They put him in the elevator, lowered him back towards Earth, and Wolski watched as the door to the craft slid closed, and the beings disappeared into the distance. The bow is giving, like, he did it, and then he starts walking away, and he's like, I don't know why I did that.

And then the aliens are like, what was that? And the other are like, yeah, I just copied him. Yeah, I don't know. What was that? Let's just do it back, yeah. Like an earth thing? The aliens are like, is it weird when we did our, the intergalactic gesture for hello, he took his clothes off. They're like, yeah, that was f***.

Like, that was all weird, right? Like, his dick was just out. Is that how they say hello here? That's so weird, yeah. They're going back to the intergalactic federation, and they were like, how was Earth? Perverts. All of them perverts.

We said, hello, and he took his dick out. We're not going back there. Isn't it mad, like, to think that, you know, it always feels like the power dynamic of someone getting abducted is that the aliens are the ones very much in control of the situation and the human, I was supposed to say earthling, is just an innocent bystander in the whole thing, they could accidentally abduct a pervert.

Yeah. You know, like the pervert's just like, let's go. He's ready for it. And they're like, ah, no, we didn't want this. Yeah, because that's the whole thing. If you usually are an ambassador for a place, you're trying to, you know, portray your hometown in a very good light. You're usually a very respectable person.

You can conduct yourself well. If these aliens really are abducting rednecks in the middle of bum-h-h-no-where, I don't know if that's a great representation of Earth as a planet. Yeah, I know what you mean, because, yeah, if you were invited to, like, imagine you were invited to like an embassy or something, yeah, to meet a leader from another place, you'd comb your hair, wouldn't you? You'd put on a nice little outfit. You might even get, yeah, a present to be, you know, like here,

you know, that's what ambassadors of other countries do. They're like, hello, here is, you know, here's their. The thing we make where I come from. Try it. You should try it. It's very nice. But yeah, as you say, if I get abducted, like, when I was going to the post office at 8.30 in the morning, haven't bothered to shower yet.

Oh, yeah. Wearing yesterday's clothes. A few stains on there for sure. Catch up, obviously. You're scared? The aliens come out. You hit one. And they're like, they're all violent.

You're like, no, come scared. Well, sure. But I was just saying, you know, even just presentationally. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, I wouldn't be a good ambassador for Earth. They're like, this guy smells a fucking Doritos. Yeah, but they don't know what smell. Maybe that's good to them.

You punch him one of them in the head? Would you not? I'd freak out. Yeah. Imagine I got abducted at my friend's Polish wedding when I was drunk. I would have fought like three of them. What was going on with you? You'd like rage virus or something.

You didn't meet this guy. He was a real piece of work. Wolsky was left alone with his horses in his carriage and a story that no one would believe. When he returned home to his family, he told them everything, the craft, the strange men. Maybe he left out the whole getting naked part, I think I probably would too. But for the most part, they believed his story.

And why wouldn't they? Wolski was a salt of the earth guy, living in the outskirts of Poland. Why on earth would he make up a story like this? Eager for his family to believe his tale, he brought his three sons to the clearing, where he'd been inside the UFO, so they could investigate the site for themselves. According to accounts, the grass where the craft had been was, quote, trodden down and had paths coming in all directions.

His sons claimed that they saw footprints allegedly left by the beings that were visible in the grass, although they did not specify whether or not they were larger or smaller than human footprints. Now, word of the abduction spread quickly, and soon investigators and journalists descended upon the quiet village. I've got a clip here from a documentary that was filmed that actually has interviews with Yan but obviously it's all in Polish so while we won't understand what they're saying we will be able to see the location it took place

and see the man himself. When I was leaving the links behind the bushes I noticed two people walking in the same direction I was going So here's a clip we can see Yan in his carriage being pulled by the horse presumably going down the very road where he was abducted on that day. They were talking, but they spoke in a very small voice that I don't recognize. I only heard this voice. That's not Polish.

That is. He might have been imitating their voice there. Here's some drawings of the little guys. This documentary not only interviews Jan, but also other witnesses. Because, as the story developed, the locals quickly realized that Yan wasn't the only one

that had seen something strange that day. It's hard to get the exact details down because again, all of this is translated from Polish. But according to reports, several local children also spotted a white hovering object above a field not far from the clearing. Their descriptions of the size and the shape matched his UFO almost perfectly,

and none of the children were told about Walski's version beforehand. Kit, would you like to see an illustration of the UFO? I would. What the bloody hell is going on? It's like a visual, fucking riddle. I was like trying to figure out the perspective of what's happening, but I get it now. Really completely utterly unique in terms of crafts

that we've been described on the podcast before. Yeah, I would say it looks. looks like a big egg with screws on every corner of it. And yeah, this weird platform coming down to Earth, where it looks like the craft never actually touches the ground. It just stays there locked in the sky. Very strange and very unique in terms of UFOs. The investigation into the UFO encounter was mainly led by a man named Blania, a so-called UFOologist from the city of Lodes, who arrived in the village shortly after the 10th of May.

And annoyingly, this is where the story falls apart slightly. While Wolski was an honest, trustworthy man, a lot of people believe that Blania wanted to use his case for his own good. You see, Blania had been publishing articles about UFOs in the Polish press, but nothing ever really made a splash. So when he found out about Wolski's encounter, he rushed to the village to do whatever he could to make sure the story was viewed as credible. including possibly convincing a child to say that they also saw the same thing.

Okay. Now, as I said, I know we're laughing a lot at today's story, but this really is an important case in Poland's paranormal history. So much so that in 2005, the village erected a monument at the site of the encounter, an angular stone sculpture with a plaque reading. The truth will astonish us in the future. Is that a quote? No, I think it's true.

Well, it is a quote. But I just like a nice sentiment. Okay. I also saw another translation that just said, the truth will prevail, which is very cool. Feels like the kind of plaque that we need outside the This Paranormal Life Studios.

Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. It's also the kind of thing you say if you're going to prison for a crime that you said you didn't commit, but you probably didn't commit. Yeah, that's the last thing you say.

You go behind bars. Before they flip the switch on the electric chair. Yeah. The truth will prevail. Yeah. This remains one of the only UFO cases in the world with its own dedicated memorial, a testament to just how deeply the event left its mark on the community. Interestingly, in 1978, this was the year of the most UFO sightings in Poland to date.

But that didn't mean the skies have been empty the rest of the time. There have been a number of UFO sightings all over Poland over the years, spanning from strange objects in the sky to seeing more little green guys running around on the ground. One of the most notable was in 1998. It's called the Pila humanoid encounter. This was where a man reported seeing a humanoid figure standing near a roadside field late at night. The figure was described as tall, thin, and glowing faintly. When the witness approached the figure, it turned and, quote, bent its legs in a way no human knee should bend and then left into the air before disappearing into darkness.

That's not good, yeah. No, that's pretty bad. I've said on this podcast before, I once broke my leg in a very, very tragic hacky sack incident when I was 15 years old. That's how the doctors described me with a knee bent in a way no human knee should bend. Yeah, I mean, something like that is pretty useful as far as being a witness to a paranormal event goes.

You know, it's for like, you know, you're seeing something in the distance. Is that? I think it's kind of crazy. But, yeah, it's almost certainly a guy. Oh my God. No, it's not a guy. A guy can't do that. You know, you see something that it just shouldn't be able to do.

It's like in The Exorcist, you're like, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just a little girl. I'm pretty sure she's just being, okay, her head turned around 360 degrees. Yeah, yeah. A little girl can't do that. Which I like, I think. if I'm going to see an entity from another world, let's establish that real quick, real early. I don't want to think that it's children for a bit.

I want you to show up. I want you to be clowing, and I want your knees to bend up. I want you to say hi to me, but your arm is bent at a wrong angle. Yeah, I mean, even Jesus knew to do that. He was like, Hey, Thomas, it's me.

Don't believe me, put your hand through my shotgun blast hole in my chest. Yeah, I died. They got me good. And I'm back. Yeah. It's a good thing that that's all they did to Jesus. They didn't like cut his head off or anything. Yeah.

Because that would have been really scary if he was like holding his own head or something. Yeah. And he's like, I'm back guys. They probably would have just killed him again. Isn't that what the- That's so scary. Isn't that what the angels always had to say, do not be afraid? Yeah, because I guess, I mean, that's the thing is that biblical angels were so terrifying

that they had to warn everyone at the start. If you're wondering what the official police ruling was for the case of Jan Volsky. The official conclusion was that it was probably a dream. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't miss that bit because that seems big. That seems quite big. I was actually kind of happy that I could maybe slip that one under the radar while Kit was on his phone. Yeah, unbelievably insulting and so sad to be someone who's had an experience like this that was essentially stripped naked by alien children, brought back down to Earth, you tell your loved ones, ostracized by the community and the police are like, I don't know, probably a nap or something.

Probably dreamt that. That's crazy to me. That's so rude. Yeah, it's kind of believable to me, but that doesn't mean it's not rude. Yeah, this reminds me of, yeah, it's like whenever I told the story before, whenever I got my bike stolen in London, and then you talk to the police and they're like, yeah, we've got, because that's like a non, like, like dangerous crime, really. It's like low priority. They're like, there's a website. You go and report the crime there. We'll process it that way. Yeah.

Dead on. Go on. Fill out the form. Putting all the details where it happened. What took place? Details. Brand of the bike. My details name.

Phone number. Da, da, da, da. I hit sub. I click submit. And it goes, case closed. Case closed. I was like, what? They were like, yeah, we've looked into it.

And the case is closed. Oh, we checked. We picked out the window. Couldn't see it. Yeah. Case closed. It's the visual metaphor for this would be the printer. printing out Kitt's report and it dropping straight into the shredder

and blending it into confetti right belowhand. You know, and I think like in my story, like in this story, I get the sentiment. I just think you go about it a slightly different way. I think they just say to me, it's like, look, man, we're really sorry to hear it. And give us the details. We'll keep an eye out.

The budget's stretch, bro. The budget is stretched. We can't really go out looking for this thing. Yeah. But if we come, if we bust a guy and he's got 200 bikes and yours, in there. Sure, we'll send you an automated email that we found the serial number. That's what I wanted to know. Yeah. And in this case, this should just been like, look, Jan, putting us in a hard spot, bro. You know how much training we get on aliens when you join the force? None. Zero.

Zero. So what am I supposed to do here? What are I supposed to do? Yeah, you'd think maybe like rural police like this, they maybe would have not a lot going on to a point where they probably could take this case seriously. Right. A detective Lugo is kind of, you know, you know, You know, like the other chumps in the office, they're like, hey, you see this report just gets the same toddler from earlier. She just a report came in. This guy's a freaking chump. And then Detective Lugo steps out of the shadows,

I'll be taking this one, boys. Yeah, the chief of police in this town is just three little alien guys in a trench coat. Whatever this was, it was probably for the best. It sounds like these guys really needed some information about Earth. Yeah. You've been sweeping? lately, Yan? You look a little tired.

I think it was a nap. They sound pretty cool. It sounds like they offered you some of the icicle food, and you were actually kind of rude and said no. Yes. Listen, sometimes the police with stories like this, they don't want anything to do with it. And that's why we need more vigilante justice in the world.

People taking the law into their own hands. That's why when I arrived at McDonald's the other day at 11.0. and asked for a McMuffin and they said that the breakfast menu has ended. I said, You just made an enemy for life.

You just made an enemy for life. I'm going to be hanging from the golden arches like Batman for the next fortnight. What did you say, 11 as well? 11.04. I think it finishes at 10,

doesn't it? Doesn't it finish notoriously early? Yeah, super early. You missed it by 4 hours. Yeah, yeah. But I figured like they probably made a couple McMuffins that didn't get sold. Give me one of the old McMuffins.

It's just like, like everyone knows that it's like an early breakfast cut off, you know? Enemy for life. Enemy for life. That's all I'm going to say. I'm dressed as the hamburger, hanging from the rafters like the Phantom of the Opera, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Roy does that thing where he's like, okay, I guess we're done here.

He turns away, turns back in and tries to grab the cash register. Get him out of here. I'm trying to repel down from the rafters like Spider-Man, but the court snaps I go straight into the deep fat friar. You turned me into a monster! You fell in the fat grease. Tash brown man. You've done this to yourself.

Ah! Children eating happy meals screaming. Kill me! We also offered you a McMuffin. We told you we just couldn't put it in a happy meal box. That's against the rules. You monsters. You did this.

turned into next week going to get the breakfast like Phantom of the fucking operas

got a mask on burn to hide my scarf I would clearly know it's

you it's 3pm one make a muffin Mr. Fours Mr. Fours

we can't give you a muffin I said choose your next words wisely

they may be your last as line cook right what makes this case intriguing that's what we need to talk about what sets it apart why is this one of poland's most famous UFO abductions well first off kid it's because it is one of poland's only abductions called it sure that's not to say there haven't been more encounters with aliens more UFO sightings but this is one of the rare cases where someone has actually gone into a craft we've done this show for for a long time. Abductions are actually quite rare. They're quite rare. And Polish people, look, Polish people are smart, cultured, industrious, proud people. Not like British people.

British people are like, oh shit, there's a crypted big cat on the loose in Kent. Friking hell, assemble the Dad Squad, you know, read a f*** tabloid in Britain in any given weekend it'll be like, zombie aliens stole my nan. Before I ate beans on toast for the afternoon. Yeah. We're a nonsense place. A nonsense country. Polish people aren't like that, I'm sure.

Yeah, we have entire magazines that for some reason still get made. But every week, the headline will be something like, the ghost of my stepdad is banging my sister. Yeah. And you're like, who are you people? Yeah, it's like, yeah, flesh-eating bacteria killed my granny's sex slave. It's always like deadly disease, family drama, sexy stuff. It's all like combined.

East London gangsters chopped off my ex-boyfriend's cock. It now is a ghost I see at night. Yep. Honestly, something like that. Not kidding. There's a lot of like people getting diddled by ghosts and stuff. There's loads of stuff like... Willingly.

Willingly. I don't know. Most of the time I think it is consensual. Yeah. To prove the point that we're not making this up, I'm just going to look up what this week's headline is for these kind of newspapers. What would be the sun? See, no, but it's not even the sun, weirdly. It's like other smaller magazines, I feel like.

Okay, I'm going to look at one. Yeah. Band from Chinese buffet for shitting in the seaweed. Granny, 52, had drunk two bottles of vodka. Another story. Granny bit flashers Willie with antique false teeth. These aren't paranormal. Britain's fattest woman ate fridge and died.

Gareth Southgate's sex dwarf runs a muck in a fish shop. Freddy Starr ate my hamster. They rubbed Harry's balls and he exploded. Inventor killed by electric bum wiper. Oh my God. I mean, it works. I kind of want to buy every single one of of those magazines. Not no, right? Those stories are pretty impressive. You are right. For some reason,

even in our kind of mainstream culture, ghosts, paranormal, spooky, silly stuff like that is much more commonplace where, you know, having visited Poland a couple times, have some Polish friends and knowing a tiny bit about the culture, it does have that, those connotations of being a little like no nonsense. Right. You know, taking things quite seriously. It feels like an environment where someone like Jan could have traditionally felt a little uncomfortable coming forward and being so vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that stands to reason. I think some central European countries are a little bit more proper than other countries. I'm not a value judgment. They're just maybe more, I don't know, socially conservative or something. I don't know enough about it, though. Yeah. And that's kind of one thing this case has going for it.

A few other great points are the fact that Wolsky's story never. changed despite being questioned repeatedly. He also never attempted to profit or capitalize on the encounter at all, simply taking the story to his grave. Which we love. You know, if someone's trying to say they had a paranormal experience and then the next day they're writing books about it, attending conferences, that can be a little suspicious sometimes. This guy, he almost just seems like too chill for his own good. Yeah. He's just a farmer and these little guys said go this way. And he was like, okay. And they were like, he'd come up here.

And he was like, all right. And he went up and then went down. And then he just told everyone what happened. He's like maybe a little naive, but just kind of a sweet farmer. There's also extra eyewitnesses in the story, which we like, even though it has been confirmed that one of them was essentially pressured by a paranormal investigator to say that they saw something, which is a little disappointing.

And another thing it has going for it is, while we will never know if the UFO exists, The clearing exists. The descriptions match between independent accounts. Yan's own family went to see the fields in the clearing and saw marks where people had been. We at least know geographically this is a location that matches the descriptions from the story, which is quite nice. Sure. So it's a mixed bag. Of course, we would love a sample of the icicle cake that was given to them.

We would love a little bit of goo, some evidence, some radioactive material. But unfortunately, we just don't have it in today's case. So I don't know, Kit, what do you think in today? I agree. This case does have a variety of things going for. I think personally the thing I appreciate most of all is maybe just the originality of the case itself. The beats of the story aren't particularly original, getting abducted and getting plunked back down on Earth or the little people or anything like that. But the actual just sheer physical descriptions of the craft, the people, those drawings. That is slightly unique in a world of saucers and, you know, tall grays.

I'd love to know how close this happened to the Valensol UFO. Is that the other one we did recently that was kids? Okay. Valenzol, the one that was in the field, the lavender field. Valensol UFO was in France, 1965. So that's over 10 years later. These little guys showed up. But very similar, essentially a farmer in the wilderness that thought he saw some kids.

And even the UFO is kind of similar, that big white bus-shaped craft. Yeah, it is tough, you know. I think whilst this time is not necessarily the biggest, like, UFO hotspot temporarily through the ages, I do sometimes think that, you know, when, like, UFO fever that really kicked off in the late 40s, primarily through the 50s is when the public conception of flying saucers exploded, we still probably are experiencing the long tale of that through the 60s and 70s. So it's not to say that it has any negative bearing on this story, but I think it's reasonable to believe that as flying saucer stories, you know,

percolated out of America, they're probably reaching various places around the world at different times. And maybe for Poland, you never know. Maybe there was like a lot more talk and kind of public media discussions of aliens and flying saucers around this time. We kind of hear that a lot, don't we? It'll be like, oh, this story feels like it came out of nowhere. And then you'll hear it's like, yeah, they've been airing nonstop UFO documentaries on TV for like the preceding two years. Star Wars just came out.

Yeah, literally. Everyone was getting super into it. Yeah. This is kind of, I guess as far as alien abductions go, kind of the chillest one. He almost did it all willingly. There was no kind of force in it. They just offered him a ride up in the UFO when he took it and then they dropped him off.

They were probably like, this dude's so chill, we don't even need to wipe him. Not his ass, but his mind. Usually people wake up and they're confused and it's missing time and they're scared where they were like, this guy is awesome. He's like, he's great. He's just going along with everything.

We didn't have to like restrain him to the space. chair, whatever, like this is fine. Just put him back down again. Yeah, they're kind of like having a sidebar whispering to each other. Like, what do I do? I mean, he seems pretty harmless. They look over. He's doing that shit where he's just like twiddling his thumbs. Yeah. They're like, man, he's a pretty nice guy. I think like, I know it's like procedure to like vaporize their brain. But I think like, yeah, I don't know, man. I just would feel bad, you know. One weird thing we didn't talk about is the birds. That was another unique element of the story. Yeah. Yeah. Really strange. It was like they were capturing other.

animals and had them in like a strange stasis kind of floating there. At the end of every episode we need to come down on our conclusions. Kit, what are you thinking today in the case of Jan Wolski? I don't know man, you spend a bit more time with it, but as I say, I do like the unique elements and I do like that there is allegedly, unless my best bud Rory is lying to me. You wouldn't be lying to me, would you? that there was other witnesses who saw it at the same time saw the craft at least

sure bud sure because I am now thinking about it no one else saw the beings that was just him no one saw the beings a child was forced to lie and

and stuff in there so here's the thing let's just proceed under the assumption that Jan was the only one who saw anything at all imagine how much of a dumb I'd have to be

to give this a yes when I brought you the UFO that appeared in front of a football stadium in Italy and Rory said nah 10,000 people

or more and Rory was like And do you think Jan's selling the truth? And yeah, Jan rhymes with one there was one witness not good enough, is it? I feel like Kit is

edging towards a no at the end of this week's episode Don't. Well, don't get angry. You can just say you don't believe it's... Because I'm remembering how you did me dirty. I'll maybe put a bit of water on the fire that kids boiling up over there. You're going to wipe you and I'm not talking about your ass.

It's a no for me this week, too. Really? I like this case a lot, but I just don't think there's enough... There's just not enough proof to go on, unfortunately. The fact that this thing never even really touched the ground, we don't even have any kind of imprints of the craft in the soil, which we did have for the Valensol UFO, which I think got a double yes. That's a good point.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will say it's not a resounding, this is a ridiculous thing. No, but it is a no. Yeah. It's not that I think nothing's happened here, but yeah, just maybe a little shy of the mark for the old evidence. Yeah.

So unfortunately, I think this is going to be a double no this week. Devastating because I'm also really enjoying. covering stories on this podcast where humans are offered alien food. Yeah, I know. And this was the most believable one yet, probably. Absolutely not. The man who ate pancakes from an alien UFO. And they tested the pancakes and they were from Earth.

They were made with buckwheat. That's right. I forgot about that. A great episode of the podcast. If you haven't heard of it, would highly recommend it. But unfortunately, today's case is a no. Thank you, Mark. Junkis for the suggestion.

Nailed it. But thank you for sending that in. If you want to send in your case, you can do so to this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com. Let us know what we should investigate next, especially with a new year, a fresh slate of possible investigations. It's an exciting time to send in your cases. Kit, how's your year going so far? Do you feel like we're getting off to a good start? statistically no, because it's been all knows so far.

Oh, it's only one episode, two episodes in? Well, we're already worse than last year then. Yeah, that's true. We went on a tear last year. We just need to drink again. We were drunk going into the start of last year. Yeah, I said the Mantis Man was real. And it was just seen by a couple fishermen by a swamp.

But otherwise great, otherwise great. Loving still being here, just alive, you know. Yeah. What about you? I had a bit of a bumpy start the other day because, I, you know, new year, new me. Yeah. Let's start with some new energy and some new clothes.

Nice. So I went to the mall and I was in the changing rooms trying on new combination of clothes. And in that journey, I found myself in that space between clothes where you are, you've taken off your old clothes, haven't quite put on the new clothes yet. Oh, boy. And if you're trying on a full fresh fit, we're talking me standing in my underwear in the changing rooms. Don't tell me it was a 360 degree mirror. It was a 360 degree mirror. Oh boy.

Which is a very punishing thing for anyone who's just coming off the back of Christmas holidays. You all ever seen the small of your back? You all know the villain from the Dune movies? That's what I looked like. Baron Huckolden. That's what I looked like. Try to squeeze into some H&MGs. Do you have these in a 32 long?

In the process of getting changed and being completely naked, I managed to drop my AirPods case in the changing rooms. If you've ever dropped your AirPods before, for some reason, every time you drop your AirPods, they explode out of the case at terminal velocity. Yeah. I have never seen an inanimate object long for freedom more than AirPods. It's like when never you play, you never play like, what do you call it?

like curby or something where you like kick a football against the curb. Yeah. And if you get the angle just right and you, the football hits the just the specific corner of the curb, it breaks all the kind of like laws of conservation of momentum and physics where it should technically come back with less kinetic energy than it went to the curb with. But no, it launches at 200 miles per hour away from the curb. No one understands how it works. And they like, you know what it's like when you put your AirPods in.

the case. It's all magnetic. They like click into place, the lid snaps. Yeah. For some reason you drop that thing, it's like a shotgun shell. Yeah, yeah. Fired off in either direction. Yep. And if you've been in a changing room before, you know that there is no floor to the door. For some reason. It's just gaping a hole. So I dropped my AirPods and both of the buds went shooting out like escape pods underneath the door and just into the rest of the changing room. So I had to make a split second decision, okay, do I just leave the room now,

essentially naked, scampering along the floor, trying to find my lost AirPods. Or do I quickly scramble to put some clothes on and then go for the hunt? I'm very happy to say that I did not just burst out of the room with my underwear on, going down on my knees like I'm in honey, I shrunk the

kids trying to find these these AirPods that blend perfectly with the color of the white tiles. Could you please kick the AirPods back? They're the pros. They're quite valuable to me. So a humbling start to the year, I would say. Yes. Okay, sorry to hear it.

That's fine. I did manage to get dressed and find them again. So, you know, just not the cool way I wanted to start the year. But hopefully you guys have had a cleaner start to your year. I know this episode was a double no, but hey, it gets us one episode closer to the double yes. We've got some really exciting cases coming up. Some that I think really could cross us over that line. Oh, and before we go, a reminder that over on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life,

you can get hundreds of top secret extra episodes never released to the public. Although sometimes we do play clips from those episodes, which is what we're going to do right now. Here's a clip. Well, let's crack on. Before we round out today's episode, there is at least one more abduction story I would like to cover. This one comes from user Appalachian Wind. Ooh, they wrote.

First time I've ever tried to write this down. First time telling anyone outside of my family. I'm leaving out time and location and some other details because I'm still scared of what might happen with it publicly, I guess. Summer before eighth grade. Me and I imagine I'm striking a single. me and two of my friends snuck out at midnight to go for a walk around the neighborhood and go see these girls on the next block who were having a sleep

over we turn a corner in our neighborhood and there's this huge black blimp shaped thing in the sky like the pictures of the Hindenburg but bigger than that and as close if not closer completely silent and the size of it like four to five football fields across no exaggeration even when I was young. We stared at it, entranced, asking each other over and over and over again whether we saw it, which we all agree we did, standing there frozen in place. It was like black polished gun metal, no lights, no sound, no anything, just hovering there.

Then I don't know what happened, but time clearly jumps. Next thing I remember is the craft, ship, government experiment, whatever the hell it is has gone, And there's a tiny glowing white barbell thing in the sky, seemingly slowly falling down, with wisps of smoke coming off it. Then, two brand new black trucks with silver gearboxes on the back like F-150s or S-10s, but nicer, came speeding down the street, going about 70 in a residential 25. Then, after that, I remember walking home to one of my friend's houses and going to bed. At that point, it was like 5 or 6 a.m. and the sun was coming up. We all made a promise to tell my dad in the morning because he worked for the city, but we never did. Brother, I don't care if your dad works for the planet.

This is above his pay grade. He works for the city. There ain't a lot he can do. He works in waste management. He doesn't know what to do with this. He's clearly used that line a lot before in arguments. My dad works for the city. So he's kind of a big deal.

Isn't he a postman? Shut up! It's interesting how they all kind of... have this experience of, it's like you see the thing and then that's the last thing you see. Yeah. Luckily, this kid went on to live another day. You know, it's, I guess, a little bit like the MIB neuralizer, except the neuralizer works the other way. Once you've seen something, they come and wipe what you've seen. This is like after the fact. It's like they turn up and then they wipe your memory from

that point forward until it's over. Bad machine then. So they don't wipe the only thing that's supposed to be wiped? No, but they wipe an hour afterwards? No, they wipe everything that's... I gotta stop saying wipes. It sounds like we're talking about dude wipes. They wipe their buttholes after they probe you. No, they wipe everything that's about to happen.

That's the crazy bit. Oh, well, then you wiped too late. Because I saw your faces. You abducted me. You gotta wipe way earlier than that. Like, if your wiping machine can only start from the part of the wipe, then you have to do it without me noticing because then my last memory will be

you running up to me with a machine going towards my eyes. That's where all these stories are. Basically. I don't remember it. It's like, oh, you don't remember anything? It's like, well, I remember the guy who wiped me. It's like, oh, shit.

You weren't supposed to remember that. You got a pretty good look at him, actually. It's like the alien equivalent of like a gag. So imagine you're trying to stop someone from talking, like you're a terrorist in a movie. it's like you can it's like all right the goal here is to stop someone talking

it's like here's what we can do we can run up to them they're gonna be like hey get off me put the gag in their mind I see yeah then you're good they can't talk now for two hours for however long you want

sure gotta take the gag off eventually it's like you then take it off and run away as fast as you can and they can talk again it's like chloroforming someone chloroforming someone in the movies

but this is the point in the movies, you come up behind them and grab them. You don't run at someone with a rag. Because when they come too, they're going to be like, he did it. He ran up to me with a rag and shoved a rag in my face. It was the last thing I remember.

Yeah, it was him. It's not very secret. Defeats the point. Rory, hey, maybe you're asking the trillion-dollar question. Yeah. How do we know if we've been wiped? maybe the only people we hear from

are the people who got a look at them before they got wiped. Hey, you know, yeah, I say I've never had a paranormal experience. I just don't remember mine. Exactly. It's a good chance. It's like, oh, I don't dream.

Oh, actually, everyone dreams every night. You just don't remember it. Yeah. What if everyone gets friggin' probed every night and they don't remember it? I don't think every night, that would be pretty dramatic. But you know what? You know, in regards to this guy

complaining about everyone living in silence and not rising up. You're part of the problem, pal. You kept your pretty little mouth shut for many, many years. So in response, I want to say, guys, they can't kill us all. Yeah, they kind of can. Rise up. The beer's kicking in. Rise up. They can't get us all. You know, say what you see. That's the only reason the whistle gets blown. Say what you see. You know how, you know how a whistleblower survives when he's one of a million whistles. Yeah, that's a loud-ass whistle. Yeah.

That's a loud-ass whistle. The government's not stopping that whistle. Yeah. Because there's a lot of voices. So that's what you've got to do. If you ever get abducted by an alien, or you see something like this, rally together. Or you see a guy with a buzz cut running towards you with a rag?

Run the other way. What a funny thing to see. Hand out rag in your feet. face. But he's like, he's like 300 meters away. It's like, is he running toward, we have so much time to leave right now. He's just running like a football player. That is just one of hundreds of episodes you can get over on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. So check it out today if you want to support the show. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. And as always, we'll see you next week for another paranormal tale.

Ciao!