This Past Weekend - #605 - Memphis Crisp

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

Theo returns with a solo episode to talk about going to Hulk Hogan’s funeral, a new vision for the Grammy’s, and what some girls in Philly are like. He also responds to some of your voicemails and shares some thoughts about the power of brotherhood.  ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  Morgan & Morgan: Visit https://forthepeople.com/THEO to see if you might have a case. Morgan and Morgan. America's Largest Injury Law Firm. Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at https://valorrecoverycoaching.com/  or email them at [e-mail] Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo and download their new web browser Comet at https://comet.perplexity.ai/ ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/  Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ontario, the wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget Online Casino is live, bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple. And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment

into a golden opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Take a spin on the slots, challenge yourself at the tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem call Connects Ontario 1866531-260. 19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details.

responsibly. That's it. That's it. That's it. Don't you even. You chill out. Dude, if I had a husband, I would fuck.

Ooh. Dude, I would not even come home to him. I'll say that straight up, bro. If I had a freaking husband, dude, I would not even come home to his freaking white ass. No, sir. No sir, but I'm getting a wife. That's what I'm getting one of these days. Not now. Soon. I know I've said it before, but I'm just, that is what I'm doing. And so if my wife is a man, dude, I will be, I will be upset. I'll be upset. I'm just going to say it straight up. So anyway, good to see you today.

Good to be here with you. It is August in the year 20, 25, and these anios, which are Mexican years, are rattling on. These bitches, they, they, they, they, they're, they, they're down, they go, everything's heading down here, baby, it's just, things just speed up. And I get burnt out, I'll tell you, I get dang burnt out. I feel like I just a Just an empty eight ball bag I'm that you know I just You know I get burnt out

I mean I just But I show up But I show up That's the thing I get burnt out But I show up You know I'm that fucking lava lamp Homi

I'm the Lord's lava lamp dog And I'll I bust on y'all You know what I'm saying Type shit boy B-L-M Anyway, just had to get all that out of my system. Good to see you, good to be with you today.

What's going on? Just had some crazy couple of weeks of shows touring. That's kind of the usual. I was in Philly. We went over there. And you know, Philly, you know, you'll see a baby. He'll be crawling just to work by himself. You're like, God.

he's union he's you know he'll get a pension if he started that early you see that though you see kids five six year old play and wearing damn hard hats over there shit falling on them just that's philly you know it's tough everything's tough over there you'll see a cigarette smoking a cigarette you're like god everything's just puffing that's how it is over there That's Philly. Hey, Philly. Hey, Philly. Dude, I was dating this girl from Philly.

She's like, she's visiting me, and she's like, oh, do they have bottomless mimosas or whatever? And I was like, I don't know. And she's like, oh, in Philly, they got bottomless ones. You guys don't have bottomless ones. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. They may have, I don't have them, you know. And I'm like, oh, we could go get some, I know a place for good Italian food.

And she'd be like, well, is it bottomless? And I'm like, I don't, it's, you know, no. It's like regular entree and two sides. And she'd like, in Philly. In Philly, they have dinos and they have bottomless raviolis. I'm like, dude, I don't want bottomless raviolis. I don't ever want that. I will pay someone an extra $40 to put a bottomless raviolis.

to put a bottom on the ravioli's. Bottomless? All chicks from Philly care about is getting bottomless meals. That's it. She's like, oh, we went to my friend Julius' birthday last week and they had bottomless eggs at brunch. And I was like, oh, fucking hide my dick in a submarine.

I do not ever want bottomless eggs. Just pisses me off, bro. I was she like, oh, God, I wish we were back in Manny, Yonk. There's a fire department that serves bottomless coleslaw every year during summer solstice or whatever. I'm like, oh, you're sick, lady. And she got upset if I take her to places that had regular servings. She got upset. I know a great place we can go and get some wings.

And she's like, well, how many do they give you? And I'm like, this bitch. I said they give you a, you know, a normal amount for somebody. that's eating, you know, five or six. And you could just see her, just her energy just dropped. She's like, oh, I wish we were in Philly right now. There's, they're having bottomless cheesecake over in Fishtown today at 4 p.m. I'd be like, I don't care.

I don't care. Tonight in Center City, they're having bottomless manicotti. I'd be like, oh. And I was like, no, I don't want that. She got all, her feelings got hurt. Her feelings got hurt, man. And she's like, hmm. And she kind of snuggled up her grandmother and made her like a silver linings playbook,

like knitted quilt or whatever. And she just was like, hmm. Oh, you should go to Kensington. They're having bottomless methadone over there. You're like, oh, God. So anyway, I'm just, I'm just, it's an all call. I would love maybe one day I'll marry a nurse from Philly. Mary a good.

you know, semi-violent woman who can put an IV in you after she fucking pieces you up a little bit. But I'm just saying, be aware. Women from Philly, they wanted bottomless. You know, I want a woman that wants a little bit of a bottom on things. That's who I am. So, praise God, and God bless everybody. What's happening? We just had some good shows everywhere.

You know, most of them are pretty good these days. I think, I mean, I know it's hit or miss. and some of the venues. I'm just saying from an actual aspect of trying to pull it off. Where do we go? Yeah, Philly, Rochester. We just had some out in San Diego Oceanside, which is beautiful. If you get to go there, everybody pulled up.

A lot of great folks. A lot of Mexican people, too. And I want to say something. I want to say something right now. I want to give a round of a place. to all the Mexican people for keeping this country going. Thank you.

Grosius. Mas, mas, mas. Thank you, though. Because Mexican people keeping this shit going, bro. They're the wind and the sail, man. So I salute them. if I see Mexican people I hit them with that hard

right there I give him that triple limb right there for Mexico by ya hit him with that shit boy fuck yeah amor a more

Papa Amor Mama That's it Amor or less Mexico Thank you What else is going on?

Um let's get into some news i could tell you more about me i've been a little bit burnt but i don't want to go into that what am i dealing with let me think about what i'm dealing with maybe just on a personal level for a minute what's happening uh we have a netflix special that we're coming up with soon we're going to tape that in new york city so just uh if you if you check on social media on our instagrams we'll put it up on there so it's exciting um and just thank you to everybody that's come out over this tour it's almost over And I just can't believe it, all the places that we've been.

And some of the shows are, you know, we always tried our best. But thank you guys for showing up and trying your best, too, and giving the live show a chance. And, yeah, I've definitely learned a lot. And, yeah, so I just want to say thank you very much. And I appreciate you for coming out. And I hope I can return the favor to you in our lifetime. What else is popping with me personally? I went to Hulk Hogan's funeral.

Yeah, my tour manager and I went down and it was, you know, you get down there and it's beautiful. It's down in Largo, Florida and we ended up meeting up with Kid Rock or, yeah, I was having dinner with him a couple nights before and he's like, do you want to go to, he said, mentioned he was going down and I was like, oh, I'm going to go to the funeral. And then he's like, let's let's go. So we went. And so that was the crew. We get down there and we got to, I mean, it's in a beautiful.

church down there. Where was that church? Zach, if you can look that up for me really fast. Where was that church down there? Indian River? Indian. Oh, that's a damn casino, actually. Indian Rocks Baptist Church in Largo, Florida. Okay. Indian Rocks Baptist almost. I'm just saying that thing's a couple of, you know, a couple slow weekends away from being, getting overtaken by a casino, bro. It sounds like. But anyway, beautiful place. Indian Rocks Baptist Church. you know um and they have like a baptism um it's actually where hoke hogan got baptized not too long ago um they played that during the memorial service and it was nice beautiful place there um a lot of people sitting in there you walk in there there's a lot of people in there you know haxaw was in there um

mount of the south jimmy hart was in there rick flair was in there um dennis rodman's was in there and he kind of like he kind of you know i think as as they were pushing the casket out it kind of shook like wobbled a little bit and he rodman kind of stopped it which was kind of crazy he was like you know like one last rebound kind of just you know he kind of just helped tow the line there and just kind of keep the Hulk headed to heaven i guess straight away and um but yeah it was just you know it's kind of crazy because you're walking you know for me i was walking through a lot of my childhood just the moments of all these wrestlers and some um's in wheelchairs and some um's in you know some of them got so on chain mail and shit or fake spines

all kind of they got everybody's in there fake arm fake neck you got you know people in there are so many missing parts it's just a damn jim McMahon build a bear over there at that holkogan funeral over there um but yeah so it was kind of wild just to see like all like the you know parts of my heroes and stuff like that and like and see heroes from when i was a child because there was nobody bigger to us uh than professional wrestlers i'm gonna say that right out loud and i'ma say that our love for professional wrestlers was bottomless bro point blank homie we just loved them dude i mean they Like me and my buddy William would stay up at night and try to watch Saturday night main event when Hulkomania would show up on there.

And the big boss man and bam, bam, bam, big a low. Me and my buddy William, both of us were falling asleep. We would hold each other's eyes open. I would hold his open and he would hold mine open. And we would just hold each other's eyes open, boy, yeah. And we'd eat as many of those red hot fireballs as we'd. could so our mouths would be like they were dripping blood. And we'd spray

WD40 on our arms and on each other's backs. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Get it on my back, Whitey. And we would do that shit, boy. And we would fall. Just wait there.

Until they came on the screen, the wrestlers. Ultimate Warrior. Rudy the ravishing not rapist or whatever what is i don't mean that guy was oh yeah with the hair cutters the gardener this like fucking gardener he had like gardener shears and he would fucking cut your mom's hair or something and then she would be a pregnant you know so anyway yeah but the wrestling it was like we

looked up to those guys you know like on our street a lot of the kids there wasn't a lot to look up to you know there wasn't a lot to look up to so um Those wrestlers when they, you know, it was like, I don't know, wrestling, to me, it felt like it was for poor people, bro. I'm going to say that out loud. You know, just all the character, I don't know, it just, I think there was no barrier to entry for wrestling, right? You didn't have to have a hoop or a pool. There was nothing you had to have. You had to have a younger sibling who was willing to get hurt.

Okay? You had to have a spare neck brace. And that was all you had to have. And you could be a professional wrestler in your house for a little while until your sister got fucking bad off. I remember one time one buddy's sister, she'd been fucking, they'd put her in a damn, you know, my one buddy's finishing move was the damn biopsy. And that shit, God, you know, you could hear one of her eyes just rattling in the back of her throat like one of those lotto balls just coming up the pipe before you knew the number. I mean, my buddy would, he would really rip his sister up. But anyway, everybody's fine now as adults.

Pretty good. But I remember she was all banged up. And they had to use a couple of damn broom handles. I mean, full broom handles, not those little, you know, just some little kitchen bitch sticks. I'm talking about that janitor thing. That fucking, you know, that janitor carries that big friar tuck broom. That bitch got that two inch girth. on that big thing, that handle.

And they had her keyed up to a couple of those, like a damn scarecrow trying to keep her body organized enough so she could finish school. So anyway, sorry, let me get back to it. But when wrestling came on TV, man, it was like even if I felt horrible about myself as a kid or if I felt ashamed of where we lived, you know, if I felt, I don't know,

if I felt like I didn't have somebody looking out for me or just all that stuff, all that stuff that I felt as a child. And I'm not, not, I don't need any self-pity. I'm just telling you those things I had, you know, that was part of my, part of my heart and brain at the time. And all that would go away, man, when that wrestling came on. You know, like when Hulk Hogan came on there, like, it just gave me something. Like, I literally gave me something to look up to, I would sit there and look up at the screen, you know? It was just, you know, it just gave you something like, it just made you.

you feel kind of like thing, you know, something's possible. You might need steroids and you might need, you know, a lot of fucking fake sweat or whatever. You might need to fucking rub your body against another man at night in different cities around the world. But you can figure it out. And yeah, I just love that, man. There was something about it in our neighborhood, man. So yeah, shout out to my buddy Will Teague over there. Eddie Joe, Larry Tisdale.

Robbie Taylor The whole gang over there We loved wrestling, man It was everything to us So thank you to Hulk Hogan And all the wrestlers that gave us that Just gave us that feeling of like Yeah, I'm going to show up

And I'm going to rip my fucking shirt off And I'm going to fucking DDT somebody At my workplace That was good shit Anyway But yeah So we just watch

you know, to get to see a lot of different heroes. And part of me wanted to stay longer. The people that I went with were left early. And so I couldn't stay. I wanted to kind of mill around. And I got to say some hellos and meet some new people. But I just felt really lucky to go. Nick Hogan was there, Hulk's son.

That was nice. I've met him before, but I got to see his wife meet her. And Linda, Sky, to a Hulk's, his wife, an ex-wife. and one thing that I thought was pretty neat was whenever Nick Hogan was up there he was just making a speech and he's like you know he said that you know

he believes that his father's watching over him and then he kind of said he kind of did like a bit of an impersonation of his dad and he's like what you gonna do when the holster is watching over you and I thought that was pretty cool anyway that's through it through to wrestling

what else is going on Let's get into a little bit of news. We've got some calls from you guys. I do want to, you know, I want to try and do more regular episodes. I know I said that before. But with this tour, almost done, I'm excited to get a little bit more space so I can feel. And I want to have more space in my head to be creative. And to feel, man, there's days I can't even feel.

And I'm not complaining. I'm just like, dang, this is life. You just get, you know, you get going. and it's hard to tap in sometimes and have a conversation with somebody where your feelings need to be present. And that's one thing I really always loved about this podcast was just like the presentness of feelings.

And so I am looking forward to having a little more space in my life and time to make that a possibility. But we'll see. You know what I'm saying? I've said that shit before. But anyway, but yeah, thank you guys so much for support on this tour. I can't even believe it. I want to make a whole slide show

that I'm going to put together and maybe put out just to, like, just show like some different moments, people that we met along the way and things like that. I'll have to figure that out exactly how I'm going to do that. What do we have here? We got new news here. Morgan Wallen will not submit music for 2026 Grammys. Wallen, who's never won a Grammy despite his status as being the biggest artist in country music, has the best-selling album of 2025 with us.

I'm the problem. Morgan Wallen will not be submitting his music for consideration of the 2026 Grammy Awards. Good for them, man. Good for him. I like that shit. I like it. Because, you know, the awards are blessing. That kind of stuff's nice.

But what does it mean? Right? And once you quit saying you could use us for your awards and they don't have any awards, boy. And the people choose. So, but also what the fuck am I talking about? I don't know. And I'm sure there's people out there that

excited to win Grammys. But Morgan always is doing some rogue shit, and I'm there for it. I'm there for that shit, dog. Give me a, you're going to make me drive over there and get your deal. And that thing. And the, uh, bring up a Grammy on the thing. Let me look at one of these bitches. I wish they gave you a real Grammy.

That's what I wish. Oh, they give you one of these old hearing aid things right here. Now, I wish they gave you a real ass. grammy boy just a beautiful little grandmother would come out and hug you that's what we should do dude you win a grammy and then we have like six grammies back behind a curtain right and one of them you know they spark one of them up a little bit they kind of you know touch her in the back with a fork or something nothing heavy but just you know she's doing grammy stuff she's knitting or something you got to get her attention and then that one rolls out from behind the curtain

And hugs, whoever wins. Dude, that would be great. Bro, you telling me, I would love a hug from somebody's grandmother. God. Those hugs are just the way you land in them. It's like being at a spa. You get a young hug from one of these young bitches. Some of them are strong and shit.

They got, you know, some chick hug me that age. She had a couple damn dumbbells in her hand, two barbells, three and a half pounders. I was like, what the fuck is this? But you get a hug from a grandmother. She got them damn catcher's mitts full of love. She got two of them bitches, baby. And their arms go right into the tits. They ain't even a difference, bro.

That's just a big bicep tit. Tits, sept. biceptit. That's just a damn fucking That's a fucking love seat She got them two arms Like a damn front end loader That bitch will hug you.

God! So that's what I would like to see. Because a lot of that shit, man, I don't care about that shit. Put me on your thing. You do this. You won this. Bitch, what is that?

Bitch, what is that? then you choose who you think's the best. That motherfucker sold everything out there. He sold everything out there. Dude, I was talking to Morgan a couple weeks, so he said he couldn't even get a ticket to his own show, bro. That's how sold out them bitches hard, dog. So what are y'all even fucking playing, bro?

Good for him, man. Fuck them. so but now also i can't sing so i could never win one but almost won fifth place in that school spelling bee baby and they put me in that bitch it was me in the final two and this girl named helena some people called a big helena i didn't do it but some people did and the word that i misspelled was inconvenience and she was pregnant at the time and she got it she got it right that's how it was they said can you use it in a sentence and they're like being pregnant in middle school would be an inconvenience and that cracked the code for

that bitch hit rattled off them letters rattled off them letters let me see how many letters an inconvenience, man. You look it up here on my perplexity. That's what I use. Some people use other AIs. I like this one. It's a little more professional. Let me see.

Inconvenience has 13 letters. If you spell it correctly, it says on here, dang. Dang, this bitch got jokes, all right? Type shit, man. But I like that. Let's keep it moving here. Thank you guys for bearing with me today.

I'm trying to be a little bit more imperfect today. And I mean that just in the sense, like in my head, I'm always like, I've got to do this, I got to do it. Fuck, I'm tired of that. I'm tired of that voice. When else do we have? Oh, wow, here we go. A woman reported missing by her family in Texas has been found

living amongst a lost African tribe in the Scottish woodlands. the kingdom of Kubala claimed they have settled in a forest in Jedberg with the intention of reclaiming land that was stolen from their ancestors 400 years ago wow and this lady is living there we live a very simple life of returning to innocence we return to nature and they got photos of them on here they grill and stuff like that they grilling up a lot of it looks like you know it looks like goat and stuff like that

and they vibed out. They got like Zulu Warrior type of energy out here. And kind of just chilling in tense. It looks like kind of like REI tense. But you got to be careful, man. I think because a lot of, I noticed this in my life. If you take a woman to a certain restaurant,

they want that lifestyle. They want that lifestyle. Dude, I was dating a girl in L.A. for a bit. I took her over there to Rainforest Cafe. Three weeks later, that bitch moved to St. Thomas and married a brother. St. Thomas. Oh, because I'm out here getting that bitch apps over here at Rainforest Cafe. Be careful.

You take your lady to P.F. Chang's, and next thing you know, she got all your shit all fucking chip-chopped out at the house, lamp shades and everything. Motherfuckers. She got ninjas on the bookshelf. She got a stack of books and then two ninjas just pushing against each side of them. That's the kind of shit. Women will do that, bro. You take them to P.F. Shangs over there. You take a lady over there to P.F. shangs and the next thing you know.

She got you brushing your teeth with a damn bamboo stick or whatever. And that's your money buying all of that. So you've got to be careful. You can easily lose a woman. Somebody probably took this lady to a nice restaurant of some sort. That's what I would guess. Probably took her out to a Caribbean dinner or Scottish meal or something. Because that's it.

Missing Texas woman found living in Lost African Tribe in Scotland. But yeah, man, that's what happened for me. Man, I took a lady to Rainforest Cafe. And bam, that bitch gone. out there. But yes, that's living out there gambling. Place a bet with me. She's living out

there on St. Thomas, wearing a grass skirt and shit. Married to some guy who played in the NBA DL out there. G League. That was it, bro. She didn't even tell me by. She's out there saying,

you know, I love the islands. I'm like, bitch, you didn't even pay half for the food we order. You didn't even pay half for the food You don't love shit Summertime Supposed to be all about fun and joy In the sun relaxing the pool Good vibes

But the truth is It's also one of the busiest seasons For injuries Yep Injuries Ooh I love the summer Oh God, I'm injured Whether it's a poolside slip

A festival gone sideways, a theme park accident, or anything. Summer fun can take a turn fast. That's where Morgan and Morgan comes in. They have over 1,000 attorneys nationwide to help you get back on your feet and get your summer back on track. They've recovered over $25 billion for their clients nationwide. There's a reason they're America's largest injury law firm. Hiring the wrong firm can be disastrous. Hiring the right firm could substantially increase your settlement. If you've been hurt this summer, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. It's free unless they win. Just click on the link in the description below or visit for the people.com slash T-H-E-O. That's F-O-R-T-H-E-Pee-E-Peeple. Or click the link in the

description below. This is a paid advertisement. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today, and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member

and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.w.vallorcoverycoaching.com or email them at Admin at Valor Recovery Coaching.com. Thank you. Anyway, what else we got?

FDA warns public not to eat, possibly radioactive shrimp sold at Walmart. Gang, boy, the Food and Drug Administration is warning the public not to eat, sell or serve certain great value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmarts to possible contamination with cesium 137. A radioactive isotope. Gosh. What is happening? U.S. Customs and Border Protection alerted the FDA about possible cesium 137 detected in shipping containers at four U.S. ports. If you have recently purchased raw furs and shrimp from Walmart that matches this description, throw it away. Seism is a soft, flexible, silvery white metal that becomes liquid near room temperature.

but easily bonds with chlorides to create a crystalline powder according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Damn, that powder makes you want to fucking stay around and see if you can have a little bit of it. A couple of different dates on great value brand shrimp. Those are the issues. You can check those out. You know? Honestly, it sounds like this almost just sounds like an origin story. I bet because this is how the media works.

I bet this is just an origin story for a. a new Marvel character. That's all it's going to be. This is how they do it. They put something in the media that's not real. And then they create a character on a year later and bring it out. So it's all, it builds in your head. That's a psychology, bro. That's a psychology. They have a planned way to do it. And that's what this is. I think it's just a new Marvel character. This is cocktail. That's who it is. Ooh, that's him. Cocktail. Started out as an appetizer. Now, he's a fucking boss.

We ride here. Ooh, cocktail. Dude, I like that cocktail, bro. That's the thing I've been getting now. At nighttime, if I'm trying to be on a date, I'm trying to be in love or something. Bam, bitch.

I'm getting you that. That little shrimp cocktail boy gya you just see them them tails because that's not the cock I don't know where the cock is bro and that's fine I don't need to see

it but you just see them tails hanging off the edge of that little cup they put them on just like a couple stripper legs just hanging off that beach and I like them bro cocktail

he wasn't appetizer now he's a boss one shrimp 100 tons of cesium 137 uh that could be it man china's new pregnancy robot is set to replace the human womb by 2026 i've been saying this the womb is great god made it it's beautiful it's that original o g ski portal from Christ, right? We get that, and it's been amazing. But you knew we were getting to this point where they was going to outsource that womb, that baby box.

Because big facts, dude, the womb doesn't even have aircon, bro. The womb doesn't even have aircon, bro. And some of them, the plumbing's even bad in them or whatever. The baby's in there and they got a dang little piss creek or whatever, rocking by or something. Because mama's out there, you know, slurping too many lemonade or whatever. Michaladas. So that's the kind of shit that pops off around there. So, yeah, now it would be great.

You can have a little robot, even a little Chinese robot. Your baby's in there. You put the egg in there. You put the semen in there. Even like a little microwave door on that bitch. You put it in there. Boopo, pooh. Set that thing, whatever you want.

mild or whatever, you know, eight months, seven months. You could even do black and mild or whatever. It's a little bit, it comes out with that fucking Memphis crisp on it. You feel me? They got all the options now. And then you and your wife can still read or whatever, fight party or whatever, do a little toot or whatever. And your child is getting organized, Chinese manufactured, really, I guess.

Now, that is true. That may be sketchy because you have to deal with some Chinese manufacturing. It might get tariffed when you take it out of the microwave. I don't know. Trump might put that freaking, he might put that Chinese extradition tax when you open that microwave and get your child out. But that would be great, man. You know, your child's getting raised in a robot. It's running around.

Boop, beep, beep, beep. And it can still complain. You can even put a wig on. It can still be like a white. wife if you need that energy. It can still be like, I meet some chocolate pickles for me. I'm tired. Please, rub my feet.

And you go over there to spraying WD 40 on them bitches, baby. Them little Chinese toes or carpals de chino Chinese toes. What else? I think we've gotten through a lot of stuff there on the news. Let's crack into a few calls from you guys. As always, the hotline for this show is 9-8-5-664-9503. And thank you guys so much for your support and paying attention and just being a part of our life and let me be a part of your life.

Yeah, I just can't believe that this tour is coming to an end, but I'm also excited about it. I'm excited for some new possibilities. All right, let's take some calls right here that came in. Thank you guys for hitting the hotline. Hey, it's Shaky Jake. Just got over a seizure looking like David Bowie or something. It's Shaky Jake, baby. He's that rattler.

He's one of God's rattlers out here, baby. He's that damn tuning fork. That buddy's got it in him. Let's hear him more, brother. I just wanted to say that the podcast really helps keep me positive and keep me smiling. So thanks, even though things are fucking scary. So thank you, Theo. Well, you're welcome. And I'm sorry I was making funny a few seconds ago on this call.

But also, I just was trying to make it more fun because, yeah, when you said seizure and that's that thing, maybe. and you got them tremors, dog. You fucking part earthquake, part human. You hug a woman while you have one of those. She'll never let you go. A lot of these babes. They're paying $60, $70 for that type of action. Over there at one of these sex shops.

So, God, I'm cheering you on here today. Shaky Jake, he's got it in him. And I'd love to know what kind of deal does he have. I mean, here at the beginning again, he's got an affliction. Hey, it's Shaky Jake. Just got over a seizure looking like David Bowie or... And he's got a black eye on him.

That's why he's saying that. And the video's on YouTube. We popped it in. So we got you in there, Shaky. And, yeah, just heal up, baby. And get better. And we've all got something. And we've all got something, man.

So I commend you for putting it right out there face forward, brother. Right in this, I just mean it just like, bam, this is what I got. You know, I got that fucking, I got that remix in my nerves. I got that fucking reverb, homie. That white reverb. I like that shit. Blessings to you, man. And heal up well, brother, and heal up soon, man.

Love you. Let's take another call in here. Hi, Theo, big fan. Hello. I had a question for you. So I've been seeing the sky for about two months. I really like him. I mean, I hope he likes me.

Well, I'm not so sure because we've been dating for, like I said, about two months now and he hasn't kissed me yet. And I don't know what to do. The other day, he put his arm around me, and then he apologized because it accidentally fell down a little bit, a little bit lower off my waist, you know. And so I can't – he hasn't kissed me yet. I can't tell if he's gay or he just don't like me. you know well there's other options too sometimes people don't kiss you because maybe they're sick

maybe they're sick you ever thought of that this boy could be damn terminal and you're over there wish he'd kiss me you know and he's over there just hoping god gives him another afternoon let's hear more uh and i'm typically somebody that likes the guy to take the reins so this is kind of a sticky situation for me theo and i just want to get your advice on I watch the podcast every week. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate that. I appreciate the warm words there.

And I'll say this straight up. A lot of men out there don't even do kissing anymore. They do touching. They do hand touching and weiner. That's it. Kissing's from damn 1800s or whatever, 1600s Scotland. You see people kissing over there Bring something up

Let me see this Two people Kissing in Scotland 1700s We'll split the difference Two people kissing in Scotland In the 1700s Bam

Look at those MFers dude Good-A Oh fancy the lips, lad Oh, you're kissing me, huh? Welcome to Scotland Yes. So look, what I'm telling you, baby, girl, is that things have changed, you know. Some guys, they don't do kissing. They do hand touch. They do wiener. So that could be what's popping.

And I think, look, a lot of guys, even, there's places, there's articles now where guys are going to Costa Rica and getting their balls even taken off their body. They don't want them. It's dumb. Look at these balls. Like, the wiener, look. It looks like a, you know, like it could get hired by Frontier Airlines. That bitch is, looks like it's going somewhere. The balls, they just look, they look like a couple of damn methadone homies sharing a wide-mouthed sleeping bag. That's all that is.

So a lot of people are getting them nuts just clipped right off. And that's how you, then you say to a lady, I got, it's all weaner, no nuts. All dick and no nuts, baby, God. That's it. And to a woman, that sounds like a diet. That's a skinny margarita of sex right there. Oh, dick and no nuts. So anyway, I'm just telling you that could be happening.

And look, it's 2027 or whatever it is. Who gives a shit? Some people are calling from the future now. People are on different time continuums. What I'm saying is this. If you want to kiss him, kiss them. Some woman the other night said, come over here and fuck me,

little fucking honky, you fat fuck. Now, did I go over there? No, it was late. I was tired. But I admire that lady. And she will get my vote If she ever runs for office But thank you so much

I would just fucking kiss him I would fucking Take his hands And I would just fucking I would just be like Or just fucking Right fuck me or something On one of his arms

And then he reads it He's like fuck me And then bam So that's actually That's illegal I think that's illegal So don't do that shit that's cheating or whatever um but yeah but yeah i think these these days some men are too spook

they held the me too shit everybody to be lobbed in everything about that and now everybody is you know every guy's a prey you know so it's like now a lot of dudes a good dudes are afraid they're afraid sometimes you know and i'll say this too a lot of men they think the wieners barely even a wiener anymore in some circles of existence some dudes they just think they got that long pussy on them so let's hear another call here as always hotline [phone] uh here we go hey what's going on theo my name's jake smith jake smith thank you for the call daddy i appreciate it onward um i was really wonder if you had some fatherly advice.

I got my first baby on the way here in less than a week. I might have to find out boy or girl, so we'll see. But a little bit about myself. You know, I'm a horseshoer now. I live over here on the countryside over on the West Coast. Ooh, a horseshoe, and I know what that's called. That's called a ferrier. A ferrier, and I'm going to read it right now.

And shout out to the ferriers out there. A ferrier, a craftsman who trams and shoes, horses, hooves. I appreciate that, calling in my sister's ex-husband's stepdaddy was a ferrier. Cool business. I enjoy watching those ferrier videos over there on TikTok. So let's hear it. I used to work in zoos. You used to take care of lions and tigers, walk them on leashes.

And so I'm used to the little wild. animals, but a wild child. Now, that's something a little different out of my expertise. Oh, man, I think you're going to be fine, Daddy. You know, y'all got that little kuda gangster heading into the world, and that's beautiful. You know, I think that's beautiful. You're going to be fine. If you get to handle a little, uh, working at a zoo, you over there with the lamas,

brun, the gerbils over there, and them baby bears, you know, and the hermit crab. dog i'm a hermit crab be like whatever motherfucker we got we're late for work dog that would be my thing bro if i was a you know in mexico they don't have any hermit crabs bro because everybody got to go to work dog we can't fucking that that shit is a fucking white shit bro that lazy shit oh i'm a hermit crab bitch get off your fucking ass homie but yeah dog you'll be fine if you babysitting animals and stuff you got a child on the way i don't know You're going to be fine. But I say this, look that child in his eyes and share something good into his face.

Because that's all his eyes are just absorbing what you're putting out in the world. If every time you look at that child, you're full of disappointment or you're discouraged or you're upset, then he's going to be upset. It's going to live inside of himself. You're casting a spell into your child's heart every time you look at him. Now, I don't mean you can't get mad at him or rough him up or fucking. tie their legs in a knot and fucking tickle them and fucking cover their body

and fucking sprinkles. But just know that you got to emotionally raise a child. If you don't teach a child how to feel, then they're going to spend the rest of their life wandering around how to feel, homie. So I'm not preaching at you.

I'm just wishing you guys the best in like kind of an aggressive manner. I guess I'm kind of tired, but that's all right. Praise God. Good luck with that child, Daddy. Um, here we go. Yo, it's Emmy. What's up, Emmy? Thanks for calling.

Um, I've been listening to a podcast for a long time. Thank you so much. You brighten up my day. I'm hiking or at work. Um, so I'm currently going to dinner with one of my ex-boyfriends' mom. Um, I have kind of a silly question. Like, how, like, how do people feel about furthering, like, a relationship with somebody parent when you're no longer together um you know me and this lady like we really love each other

and if i could she would be my mom oh yeah oh i can totally relate to that i think you know we all you know i believe that we get pieces of things of excuse me we get pieces of relationships from different people you know like um there are moments in my life where my brother was around or wasn't around or was only so much available because of just positive things in his life or negative things in his life and vice versa me for him and i would you find somebody you you get a piece of brotherhood from somebody else you get a piece of fatherhood from somebody else you you know and i really believe it is that way oh i had so many friends mothers i would be friends with my friends parents i was way better friends with my friend's parents most

the time. I'd go over there and just bullshit my friend just so I could go be around her parents and freaking chill smoke. Sometimes my friend, one of my buddy's mom's she used to tell us, do not smoke. If you guys get caught smoking, you are fucked

boys. I'm going to pull your fucking feet off of your dick or whatever she would say, some thing, some old wives tail or whatever. Then me and her would go smoke, do while my buddy was doing some yard work and shit. So it's like, yeah, I had great relationship with my buddy's parent with friends' parents.

That was so much fun. Girlfriend's parents, for sure. Oh, I got probably 50 of the first hugs in my life from this gal I dated. I got probably 78 hugs from her mother, the best. But yeah, a lot of that's been a lot of my life. So yes, I think you can. I think you get bits and pieces and you just attract yourself to people in life. And then sometimes those relationships fade, but they don't fade like they disappear.

They just time changes, you know. And things happen. And sometimes like the waves come and hit the beach and they still are hitting the beach, but the water, the actual wave that originally hit the beach, it'll kind of move down the beach. And so it's still hitting the beach, but it's moved on. And that's how those relationships are sometimes in my life. But I think they're great. And yeah, and then we can do that for other people too.

you know nothing makes you feel better than when you realize you have a moment doing something with somebody and it means a little bit of something you know that's really beautiful i think but yeah i mean look the love you can get from other people's parents it's just bottomless you feel me he didn't think i was gonna say you know and i'm feeling goofy today This is Jake, calling from Illinois. What's up, Jake? Illinois, baby. That's what's up, Papa.

Let's hear more. Anyways, I just need some advice. I work long shifts at work, and I let my emotions get the better of me sometimes. You know, I struggle with a little bit of alcohol. problem, and I know you've probably talked about this plenty of different times. I've listened to a lot of your podcasts, but it's really affecting my relationship and the way I go about certain things that upset me, and I can't seem to find that within me to get there. my girlfriend that i'm with is really really seeing the bad side of me that i don't want her to see

but anytime anything really gets gets a hold of me that i don't like just just takes over and i'm not the same guy that i was amen brother look i appreciate you calling i appreciate you let me know and just sharing with us what's what's going on with you you know yeah man anger has been that's been a big problem of mine over the years you know I think for one for me there's been a lot of rage from being young and never got out

rage I mean fury I mean a fucking fireball that has endless fuel I think as an adult you know the things that I noticed for me Notice for me with anger was unrealistic expectations of others. Unrealistic expectations of others.

I was able to help figure that out through recovery through 12-step program. Now, that doesn't mean I figured it out and then it solved it. You know, at different times when I've been in and out of the program, I've like, you know, had to do the steps again and realize still a problem. Still a problem. But yeah, unrealistic expectations. expecting people to know things before I told them. That was a big part of mine.

Of what caused me anger, you know, because then I'm, you know, then I'm just, I'm always in conflict with everything. So that would be the only thing I think I could recommend would be if you go through 12 steps and you get through, and there's different programs. You know, you mentioned some alcoholism, and I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not. You will know. you know you won't it's only it's self-diagnosed but i do know there's other programs um if you aren't that's still other 12 steps and when you go through a step four and five and six you

really start to figure out uh you know your character defects and that can be a blessing you know that's a gift so anyway that's the only thing i can really recommend that i have had experience with but yeah i just would be so angry And a thing like, I couldn't, I wish I wanted to let that anger out. So the crazy part is that anger will live in you and then you let it out years later. Sometimes the people you want to let it out at, they're not even there anymore. They go home, the ghosts. Man, so it just can feel.

Like then it's almost like you fucking feel it again. Because now you're angry that, you know, Now you're having to deal with it again, that it's, that not only was it in you at one point because you were furious, but now it's in you again because it's trying to get out of you. It all comes to the surface, baby. That's what I do believe. But look, man, if you do something for yourself, then something will be different. That's the truth.

If you do one thing, then something. You know, nothing changes if nothing changes, baby. They say that. And it's the truth, man. And if you heard that and you didn't understand. it, then I'm just going to say it again slow. Not because I'm trying to preach at you. I just want you to hear it, right?

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. So when I've heard that in my life, it's been like, okay, how long do I want to sit here and not take an action but expect things to be different? It kind of just... They put a mirror in front of me sometimes. All right. We got one more call right here that came in. As always, the hotline, 985-664-9503.

Let's see what we got. What's up, Mr. Vine? What's up, brother? Thanks for calling. Yeah, man, I just caught that shit with Joaquin Phoenix, dude, and he's the shit. I bet that was wild. Yeah, dude, it was freaking wild, dude. so I'll tell you so

well he said on the video that on the podcast the reason that he came on was because he'd seen this video talking about the stuff in the Middle East which was interesting to me

because you know some people don't want to think about that or hear about it and I respect that but just that he said that was interesting but outside of that just to get to see him you know he's had such a fascinating life you know just from like if you if you just go read up on his history just traveling and like kind of

like a cultish no school like youth and just this whimsical jack carolack if they're at a it's almost like peter pan goes to a grateful dead type of you know just um i don't know just so many different things and then just like how talented he is you know and with him and i don't even mean this like in a it's talent for sure but it's almost feels he's so unique that it feels almost otherworldly you know it feels uh i mean you know some actors they have feelings you can relate to the feelings he'll have feelings and connect behaviors to them that some of us have never even had it feels like so it's just yeah so i just felt i just felt so lucky and you know i wanted to be gracious to them i wish there was more things we could have talked deeper about but

it's weird you don't you don't want people to think you're trying to just talk about certain things or tough times um and and you're trying to get to know somebody and let them know that you're trying to be as authentic as you can or like you know that you don't have any ill will you know i think you know so anyway i'm kind of overthinking it which is like my ego starting to flare up but i thought it was awesome dude let me hear more what you had to say i mean you know you're talented too though it's like you're sitting across from just somebody in the business i reckon but at any rate you know i do enjoy his movies quite a bit oh dude no i enjoyed it man i hugged him like three times in the hallway and i was like

holy shit dude i think um you know i mean i'm yeah i'm gonna get married to a woman one day or something but i'm i can't hug him anymore that was what i realized i was like oh you can't hug somebody you don't know somebody if they're nice to let you hug him three times but you shouldn't keep hugging that person you know especially if they're you know it wasn't it wasn't it was fine but it was definitely there was there was no more hugs you can hear somebody say it. Nobody said it, but we both heard it, right? It was that kind of thing. So, but no, he was gracious and, uh, I felt lucky. And that movie Eddington, no joke, I think is one of the neatest roles. Um, Austin Butler's in it. Uh, Perea Pescal or Pisa Pluma's

dad, I think, is in it. I'm not even sure. Check it out. Anyway, thanks. One more call right here. Let's get to it. What's up, man? This is Miles. What's up, Miles? Damn, that feels like responsibility, dog. having that name gaw every time i go for a jog fuck okay onward i uh wanted to talk to you about your brother you know i uh i recently got close to my brother and he's 12 years older than me i swear i'm not a mistake but uh we got clothes we work together and and uh you know we i just he needs a lot to me and uh i see the

videos you talking about your brother and there's a lot of things i want to say to him and you help me with that we saw your comedy show in kansas city you rocked it i don't think i've ever see my brother cry until that moment and, uh, you know, I think you kind of helped us come together. But, uh, my point is that I, I love you, man, and, and keep doing what you're doing. And you helped, uh, you helped me. You helped me, my brother and, and I hope your brother's doing good. And I love you guys. Peace out. Well, thank you, bro. That's nice you to say, dude. I think that's, yeah, man, I appreciate it, dude. Thank you, bro. I liked how at the end you said, I love you guys.

You know, you included my brother, even in that statement. I thought that was very thoughtful of you. Yeah, you know, I think this goes back to even to that lady that called earlier saying, like, do we, you know, is it okay to be friends with an old friend's mother or an ex's mother? You know, it's like we get pieces of relationships from different people over time, you know, and some people fill in the blanks for us while people aren't there. or can't be there. But, yeah, having a brother, man, there's just like, I'm so glad you guys have gotten some moments.

Oh, dude, a moment with my brother where I know that he loves me or I'm able to let him know that I love him. I don't know why that kind of stuff is so hard sometimes for some brothers. But, oh, yeah, those are some of my favorite things. You know, like one day whenever I die, that's the feeling I want to feel when I'm leaving, you know?

I think that's where I would go back to in my head or my heart, just go back to that space, you know? Because it's kind of like as close as you will get. And also it's like having somebody that cares about you, but also can be like a detective because they have the same clues as you inside of them. So being able to conversate and stuff about those things and work things out, it's awesome. I'm glad you got to do that.

Thank you for coming too. bro. Thank you, bro. Yeah. And you know, brothers, older brothers, we don't get, we should have a special day for them. You know, they take a lot of the, they take a lot of the early heat in the world. They are experimental for a lot of family. They're like, well, let's see what happens with Gary. You know, they send, you know, or they'll be like helicopter. They'll have them in a fucking, you know. But it, but it gets different though. When you get on down. six, seventh child, that motherfucker ain't got no clothes on. You know, Gary's got to

wear a damn neck brace full time. He's got polio, shots. He didn't even have polio, but they gave him so many vaccines. He's damn got it now. He's got, you know. So I think they do a lot to that early brother. You know, and then we

get to watch and see, like, and learn the landscape. And then you're always trying to be your older brother, but be yourself. But yeah, thank you, man. I think I don't know what else to say today about it. But we should have a brother's day in the world, you know? And I know the brothers out there in Philly are bottomless, dude.

I know that, you know? But I mean, we should have a brother's day, man. You know, where there's just like a special time for brothers right there. Because Indian dudes, they have it all the time. You see a couple Indian brothers. They're holding hands. and everything. They over there putting fucking, you know,

Zit Zaki on each other's necks and shit. Them dudes is close as hell. But yeah, I'm happy for you, bro. And I'm happy that you thought today I'm a call a day. I'm just going to tell somebody else I love my brother. It's kind of, you know, it's sounds bizarre to say that, but it also sounds like one of the most important things you could do.

Tell somebody I, you know, I fucking love my brother. Like, well, damn, all right. You know, find a state. where it's legal or whatever, Trump will take it away. Anyway, thank you for the call, bro. I love your brother too. And you tell your brother, I said I'm proud of his brother. Dustin Porre is retired, but that's okay.

We never give up on him. We love him. He's going to be out there fighting crime. I don't know what he's going to be that Bayou Batman, you know. That's who he is, baby. James J. Braddocker to Bayou Swamp Dorella, man. You know it. We still got love.

He's in our hearts always as we move forward. I will say this, one thing, I bought myself something nice. We donated to the Dustin Porriere Foundation, and we got his final fight gloves. And so those are going to be in the studio. And so he was one of our first guests. He's given us a lot of support, but also a lot of inspiration over the years. you know and uh and that's another place right there i'm thinking out loud where sometimes you get a piece of a brother or a sister or a mother or a friend or something

you get it through somebody else you know and that's like those are gifts from god um so and to anybody up there who doesn't have a sibling or something like that feel feel that channel of your sibling through others you know i hope that there's an opportunity for you to feel that or that there's a there's a avenue of grace that opens up in your life today or this week where you get to feel something like that. Because I believe that people on the other side can feel them when we talk to them. I believe they,

I bet not only do they feel out, I bet they hear it in beautiful stereo. You know? I bet all of our siblings and family members could be at a big rave somewhere. And whenever we say something to them from this side, the DJ's out there and he just remixes the words, you know. I love you, Ronnie.

You know? We miss you, Gillian. we miss you Jillian But anyway Praise God You guys be good to yourselves Thank you for letting me be a part of your life

Sorry I was kind of chatty today Thank you guys Love y'all And thanks for loving me Or thanks for just listening even Even if you hate me Just fucking thanks for tuning in Praise God

Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel I'm falling like me Like these leaves, I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones. But it's going to tell you.