This Past Weekend - #638 - Kevin James

Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's guest is a comedian and an actor. You'll know him from everywhere, from grown-ups, King of Queens, Chuck and Larry, Paul Blart. His new movie is out that's right now in theaters. It's called Solo Mio. And it's great. If you want to go check it out. But right now, let's get to know Mr. Kevin James.

Starting point is 00:00:42 That's my coffee cap right there. With Dios, Tos, It's Possible. Possibly. It is, yeah. What is the middle word? To do it is. Everything is. Everything is. Everything is. That's cool. With God, everything is possible.

Starting point is 00:00:59 What is your say? Mine's pretty, uh, I just have no answers. That's where it comes down. Oh, yours is one of those madlib mugs, huh? Each day is something different. That's not Italian, but that's, that's, that almost sounds a little bit Italian like your movie. It does. It is very close. Deal.

Starting point is 00:01:19 Deal? Like Rodney James, deal? Like lock up the wolves, you mean? Yes, but much different. Lock up the wolf. Do you ever listen to that? No.

Starting point is 00:01:28 I remember him. I mean, he was crazy, right? I'm sure he's yelling lock up the wolves. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true. You can't not be crazy

Starting point is 00:01:35 and yell lock up the wolves. God, that album. My brother used to beat me to his music. It makes sense. You remember your first concert ever or no? Yeah, it was Kiss. Oh. I saw Kiss in, it was like right after, I think, maybe after Kiss Alive.

Starting point is 00:01:54 It was like, it was after that or destroyed, one of them early, early albums. And I went with my buddy, and I remember my buddy broke his arm and he wasn't going to be able to go, but we convinced him to go he was in a cast. So I was there with my mother and his mother, and he was just rocking his cast the whole night to kiss. It was fun. God, that's good. It was a good one. There was nothing like that time when you were going to a freaking concert.

Starting point is 00:02:20 Oh, yeah. When you were just a kid. And so, like, you got, like, if the air hit you and it was dope in it, it just hit you. Everything was weird. Everything was crazy. What was your first concert? I went to, oh, Marilyn Manson. And it was, yeah, they had a guy in our town, and he took us over there, me and the other young kid, dropped us off.

Starting point is 00:02:44 You were there just with his. with me, my buddy, this guy dropped us off, this religious guy or whatever. He dropped you off, religious? Yeah, he had a car. Oh, religion. He had a car. I don't know. Last Baptist, I think.

Starting point is 00:02:59 I have no idea what he was, you know. I don't want to know, man. He's dropping you over Marilyn Manson. Nothing decent. Oh, dude. Did he take off fast? Like, was he like, you go? Yeah, he drove in a convertible.

Starting point is 00:03:10 Oh, wow. Yeah, he dropped us off. He said, he said he could get us tickets there, and we'd heard a couple of their songs, who were into them and we were underage when we got in but it was like being in a concert when you were a kid and everything was going on if you were young it was kind of wow because you were kind of free in this place that was caged there was music you know sometimes it was like pot in the air you know just like a lot of new stimulus yeah right a lot of weird stuff that you you know you're a little bit scared right yeah you're a little bit scared but you're excited yes and then if you get you know

Starting point is 00:03:41 somebody passes you something or your buddy brought something or whatever then you getting lifted Now, dude, one time we ate something. I don't know what we had. Or some, you know, we caught a whiff of something. And we might have brought it with us and lit it up. But whatever it was, it got into us. Not me. And, dude, I couldn't, like, I couldn't see anymore, right?

Starting point is 00:04:01 And I was like, oh, shit. But I still had to pee. Okay. That's one thing I noticed. If you can't see, you still have to, if you. Yeah, one doesn't stop the other. Yeah. Right.

Starting point is 00:04:11 I don't know. I never got lifted. But if I couldn't see and I had to pee. How did you do it? Did you just kind of walk out with a friend? I remember the direction. Or did you go where you were? I remember the direction to the back of the venue

Starting point is 00:04:22 and I put my hands like this, right? Oh, wow. And I was going back and I remember feeling like a badge and I was feeling a cop. I'm sure he liked that. Oh, dude, I'm so glad he didn't like, you know. He recognized it. I was, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:37 I wasn't doing well. Yeah. Yeah. He saw you were in a bad way and he helped you. Yeah. And I went into the bathroom. I thought I was a raccoon. Whatever, dude.

Starting point is 00:04:44 Yeah. That was a long night. Anyway, Kevin James, good to see you, man. Good to see you. Yeah. Yeah, nice to be here. Thank you very much. Thanks for coming, man.

Starting point is 00:04:52 I appreciate it. Did you guys go? We saw each other with last night at your, you showed me and Nate Bargatsy and some other friends here in Nashville, your movie. Yeah, we just went out to dinner at him. Y'all did. Yeah, we just hung out, had a good night. Where'd y'all go? Oh, gosh, what was the name of that place?

Starting point is 00:05:05 It was, a Gannon? Gannon. Gannons in Nashville. Is there on a lake? I don't think it was on a lake. I mean, we didn't take a boat to get there, right? We didn't, it was, it was, it was, uh, sounds nice.

Starting point is 00:05:18 Yeah, it was cool. It was a cool place. Yeah, it was a cool place. Yeah, it was nice. They gave us a little room and, uh, we just had fun. It was prime rib. Oh, it was everything, man. It was good.

Starting point is 00:05:27 Did it have that white sauce with it? It did. It did. What is that? It's, uh, that's, uh, it's like a tartar. Yeah. But it's not. It's, uh, it's got a W.

Starting point is 00:05:37 What is it? Or a, uh, horse radish. Horse radish, horse rots. Where's the W coming from? Uh, but it's white. That's where it comes from. It's white. horseradish and they give you the chunks of horseradish,

Starting point is 00:05:46 which is like, that's like the nucleus of it. I've never seen that. You never, what are you talking about? Now, bring up, but bring up a natural horse, horse radish in its natural habitat or whatever. Yes, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:56 And then, and then they have a white, like, horseradish sauce that kind of blends it. See, that's the, that's the stuff. Yeah, God, that's good. Yeah. And you spread that over your,

Starting point is 00:06:07 your prime rib. Oh, I love that. That thing, I just, I never know what it is, but they have it. And I'll love it. What's that?

Starting point is 00:06:16 That right there, your horse radish. Yeah. I now always... So you've had it. Oh, yeah, but I just forgot. I just... Oh, what it is. But I know you only see it with...

Starting point is 00:06:23 Shrim cocktail. No, you see it with a trim cocktail, too. Oh, that's the same? Yes. It comes out the same way. They give you the chunks of the thing. Do you do shrimp cocktail? Yeah, I do some cocktails all the time.

Starting point is 00:06:33 The shrimps are hanging out, showing their legs or whatever off the edge of the thing. Yeah. Yeah, you split them, you pop them, and you dip them in the thing. Dude, I had no idea that was the same thing. That's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, it's, that's, it's, it's, it's really to get you to forget the fact that you're eating fish. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, because some of it doesn't taste great or whatever. Yes.

Starting point is 00:06:58 Horse radish is a perennial plant of the family brassis, brassica, yeah. It's not a vegetable. It is, oh, it is a root vegetable cultivated and used worldwide as a spice and is, and is a, condiment. Yeah, dude. I like that, man. I like it when I just really, but I only see what prime rib and I guess it always, to me, that always looked more like a milky or sauce. Yeah. Something different. Well, there's both. There's that. That's the, the, there's like little chunks when you see that. And then they give you like, it's like a main, like a cool whip, like a mayonnaise style that blends with that. You put them both together. Oh, I haven't done that.

Starting point is 00:07:34 And it gives you, yeah, it's a good, it's a good cover. I'm missing. Maybe I'm not looking around when I see that. Yeah. But I love that. You get to talk to the person. They cut it. Yes. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. It's a lot of fun. It was a good night, man.

Starting point is 00:07:49 We have fun. We missed you. And thanks for coming. Yeah, dude, it was great to come over there and see the film and just see the... Had you seen it a bunch already? Yeah. I've seen a few times, yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:00 Did you help edit it? Oh, gosh. Yeah, I did everything. You know, helping them all on every step of the way. We've been, you know, babying this thing for a while now. So it's, it's... I'll keep seeing it. I'm going to see it again.

Starting point is 00:08:12 And, you know, you know, it's basically just your baby, you know. You work it and you just kind of try to bring it to everybody and you want it to be right. And I don't want to, you know, everybody like you, I want people to see it to, you know, to see what they think, what they can change. Oh, yeah. But now we're here. Oh, we felt the magic of it yesterday, man. It felt good. It was a love.

Starting point is 00:08:34 It's a, I don't want to give anything away. I mean, it's a love story. Yeah. It's got some sweet moments that were surprises. thought. Good. You know? It definitely made me think like, dang, I got to get, you got to get in a love, man.

Starting point is 00:08:50 That's what it makes you feel hopeful that people were getting in the love out there. In Italy. And in Italy. Yes. That it's, honestly, that it's never too late. That it's like, it really, I mean, I really, I found my wife later in life too. And it was, it's one of those things where it's like, it's possible for all. you know, like people, when they get older, they start gripping the bat too tight getting worried that I'm not with anybody.

Starting point is 00:09:15 And so they don't know whether to make that decision jump or what it, I'm just going to be alone. And I think when you loosen up and kind of relax and just give yourself up to, you know, giving a shot, you do better. And, you know. Did you feel that ever? Oh, yeah. I was definitely, you know. I got married at like 39, 39, I think, yeah. And I had my first kid at 40.

Starting point is 00:09:35 But do you still have your wife? Yeah. I met her last night. Yeah, she was there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, good. I kept her. I hope that was her.

Starting point is 00:09:42 Otherwise, she wouldn't be happy hearing about this. No, no, no, no, no. That's her. Yeah, it looked like. I mean, it's... 21 and change now. 21 years. Oh, oh.

Starting point is 00:09:50 Yeah, yeah, it's great. Four kids. It's fun. And is your wife from another country or parents might be? Well, she's Filipino and a little bit of Alaska and Indian. Dude, I love Filipinos. Yeah. You do?

Starting point is 00:10:02 Dude, are you kidding me? How could you not? Right? Dude, they're the smiling people. Yes. Very happy people. Oh. Very fun people.

Starting point is 00:10:09 And they make Lumpia. And they make what? Lumpia. Oh, I've never even heard of it. Can you look up Lumpia? Lumpia is just... What is it? Like a dip or something?

Starting point is 00:10:18 It's like an egg roll from heaven. And you put it in the dip. Oh. And it's nothing like the horseradish one. It's a beautiful, sweetie. It can be a little spicy if you want, but it's a fun one. It's a good...

Starting point is 00:10:31 It wowed me. Like, you know? Yeah. I would mule one of those in my ass. I think about those things look good. brother. I'll tell you that. You know what I'm saying? But you brought one of those in a prison. You could sell it for a lot. I don't know. It was going in. A lot went out my ass. But, uh, yeah. Oh, dude. Sorry. God, no, those look that good. Yeah, they're good. They're very good.

Starting point is 00:10:52 There's not a lot of food you put in you. You know what I'm saying? Because that's a total reverse route. That's like when you see somebody's driving up the interstate the wrong way. You're like, what are they doing here? How did you get on this road? Yeah. Yeah. It's real good. God, that's nice. Yeah. See, I think if somebody tricked me enough with a you know with some sort of fancy little oriental baklava like that they were you really oh really yeah they could get me to love them more right you know what I'm saying if yes if somebody had a recipe of something that you just loved yeah I would give in more but yeah Filipinos dude ah I wish we were all Filipino yeah sure because I think it would be great it would be great name 60 bad Filipinos

Starting point is 00:11:37 I can't name one. I don't know any. Yeah. I really don't. I don't know one. I can't name one. So are your kids a little bit Filipino, too? They have to be.

Starting point is 00:11:44 I hope. That's so good. Yeah. They're fun. Oh, I can't even imagine. You should see them. You like them. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:52 I'd love to see them sometime. But yeah, I would love to have, like, a semi-Asian or off-Asian. I don't know exactly what the terms of a Filipino, but I would love to have a child like that. It's a cute mix. It's a fun, you know. Just great people. They seem like such good. Good.

Starting point is 00:12:06 good people. Yeah. That's beautiful, dude. I know that you grew up over in New York. Oh, dude, I forgot to even tell you this. I saw the movie. When I first saw your movie, Solomio, it's called. Yes.

Starting point is 00:12:19 I thought it was Salamio. I thought it was a... Oh, that would be an old... Like a Marvel character you were doing. By the way, I could do that one next. Yeah. That is not... Salamio is a...

Starting point is 00:12:27 That's what I thought. I was like, dude, what is he doing? What am I not doing? Salamio. How did you guys not think of Salamio? I just thought it was like, oh, this is his like... superhero type of guy, you know.

Starting point is 00:12:38 But did you think it was like just one word and it was an Italian word? Or did you think it was the meat? Oh, I thought, I thought it was like the, like the, like the master, like the, like, Salamio. Yeah, like Salamio shows up and rescues like the, like the Italian parade or something, something happened at the Italian parade. But is the Italian meat involved or is you, no, that's just his name. Okay.

Starting point is 00:13:02 Does he have a cape? Yeah, he may have a cape. Yes, he has a cape, like maybe a fine prochetta or whatever. Salamio is insane. Yeah, so anyway, I thought that I had my glasses on when I saw it. So I was like, salamio, that's crazy. I was like, but it's awesome. And it's like I could see it being super exciting.

Starting point is 00:13:20 You know I'm regretting every choice we made now that we did not go with salamio. It really is hitting me. Salamios, I don't know. From the land of mortadella. Yes, yes. Your backstory could have been sick. But when I got there and I saw the, uh, The image, and it was like, oh, Solomio.

Starting point is 00:13:38 Yes. And it was good. Yeah. It was cool, man. Yeah, and it just made me think about love. It made me think about that kind of stuff. And, like, yeah, just the choices that we make. I think I've watched a couple of movies recently that kind of, like, got me in, like, certain feet.

Starting point is 00:13:51 So you're single now? Yeah. Okay. And you're looking or you're just like, I'm looking. You know, I got to get married at some point. Right. You want kids? Yeah, I think I want to have some children.

Starting point is 00:14:01 I love it. Yeah. Did you always want to have them, you think? I did. You did. Yeah. I did. I always want a kid.

Starting point is 00:14:08 And again, I was getting worried. I was, you know, 39. It was later for me and then four. But it's, you have so much time. You can have, you know, it's, you're great. You can go as long as you can and then you adopt or do whatever. It's, it's amazing. Yeah, some of the adopt, there's a lot of returns over there.

Starting point is 00:14:24 You know what I'm saying? I'm not, uh, no judgment. And some of those are Russian. But, uh, people know it. It's on a chart. But, um, yeah, dude, I do think, uh, I know I would like to, you know. I think it's just making sure

Starting point is 00:14:38 and get into that place. Where he... Go ahead. Of myself and knowing, okay, I can do this, you know, and I have to really, like, fine-tune my behaviors and what I need to be doing and how I kind of put myself and take care of myself and everything. It's like, because this is going to be a thing, you know?

Starting point is 00:15:02 Right. Right. You want to stay in it, right? So you want to... Are you putting yourself out there? though to, in the right places, to see these people, to meet these people, because now you're, I mean, it's something. Because you're so famous now,

Starting point is 00:15:11 it's like, it's a different takeout. You gotta be careful, right? So, I guess. I mean, I still probably date the same types of gals as when I wasn't popular, you know, I think, so that, I don't know if that changes, but I wouldn't date somebody. I think I would know if somebody was like, you know.

Starting point is 00:15:24 Right. I hope so. You definitely would. After me for my podcast outtakes or whatever, you know. Right, right. But, yeah, I thought it was a great movie. It was really sweet. It had some good surprises.

Starting point is 00:15:34 So, yeah, I'm glad that I left feeling glad that I went out saw it. That's good. And it made me think about some things. That's when I noticed something's nice for me is if I leave and it makes me like, you know, kind of think about myself in certain situations or something. Yeah. And hopefully uplifting.

Starting point is 00:15:52 If you know what I'm saying, if it feels, you know, that you can, that there's possibility out there, you know? Oh, dude. And the singing, the part when you guys were singing, dude. Oh, gosh. I thought it was going to turn into one of those, like, at the Cristiano. Yeah, yeah. I thought it that Cristiano was going to be like, there was going to be one of those four, four K theaters or whatever, like the 4D or whatever.

Starting point is 00:16:14 Yeah. And it was just going to, like, a huge thing like pasta sauce and stuff. It was going to fucking hit us all in the back of the head. That's what I thought, dude. If that would have happened, bro. Dude, that and salamia? Yeah. Salamio.

Starting point is 00:16:27 Salamio. Salamio. Okay, so it's salamio. That's what I thought. Oh, dude. That's a guy? How do we not do salamio? Bro, I'll tell you this.

Starting point is 00:16:37 I want the leg muscles. Oh, you got those. No, I don't, man. I'm losing them. When you get older, you start losing the leg muscles. Abbs, I got, obviously, you know I have the abs and the biceps and all that stuff. But the leg muscles is where it goes. That's a lot of leg.

Starting point is 00:16:51 It is. Spotty fat. He's got a lot of clogged arteries. I like it, though, man. I'm in with this guy. Oh, yeah, I think he's just, his only thing he does is just go to the doctor. to get his levels checked. Just paddles of blood.

Starting point is 00:17:07 Dude, those aren't even muscles. That's just a chunk of gout. Yes, that's all gout and cholesterol. I like it. But no, dude, it was cool. So thank you so much for inviting me, man. It's enjoyable. It's a nice, you could take your lady.

Starting point is 00:17:20 You could take your lady, you go with your family. You go with almost anybody, really. Right. It was sweet. Good. It was sweet and good, man. Did, you grew up in Mineola?

Starting point is 00:17:29 I was born in Mineola. I grew up out. Yeah, I bounced around Long Island for a little bit in New Hyde Park. Dude. You don't know this stuff. We just had a fireman on. This is how I know this. We just had a fireman on.

Starting point is 00:17:42 And he mentioned that you were from that area. Because I said, well, Kevin James might be coming on. He's like, oh, he's from New Hyde Park. Yeah. And we had this guy, Tony Von Figglio. He was, there he is right there. He was a firefighter during 9-11. He did 22 years on ladder 34, which was Washington Heights.

Starting point is 00:17:57 And he just had the best stories about growing up in New Hyde Park and where he went to, like, interview to be the fireman and him and his buddy's just screwing around in the area and just going to like different music clubs and listening to cover bands and stuff like that. Oh, I love it. What a dude. But he's from a great, dude. It was great. Yeah, that's a lot of good people from there, really. Yeah, it's, it's really cool experience. It feels like that. It is. It was fun growing up, man, which for me, like helped in stand up and helped and everything. You know, I just had a good, fun childhood. It was really, really cool,

Starting point is 00:18:29 funny people. Was your brother funny or something? You got a sister of something that's funny? My brother was funny first. He, he, yeah, we're all funny. Like, we all, it's all the dinner table stuff and, you know, put on little shows when the relatives come over, that type of stuff. And then, uh, eventually I was playing football in college and, uh, I realized the dream. When you're, when you're not starting in Division III.

Starting point is 00:18:51 Were you at Oneana? No, I was at Cortland. And I never finished. I was, I was drinking a lot. Like, we were partying up there. It was crazy. Yeah, been up there. It's by, uh, that's up there.

Starting point is 00:19:00 By, Syracuse and all that stuff. Portland, Ithaca. It's in Ithaca, isn't it? No, it's near Ithaca. Oh, bad. Oh, yeah, there I am. That was me playing football in, yeah. I think that that's high school.

Starting point is 00:19:13 But yes, that was what I played. And then once I realized, there was a guy so much better than me. I go, this is, I'm not going to do this anymore. What do I do? Did you have a nickname on a team or not? I think it was the hydrant. Because you were. I don't think it was because of what you think.

Starting point is 00:19:29 I think it was just a different reason. I don't know. I'm not sure of the reason. The hydrant. Yeah, because I was low. I was low to the ground, and I wet myself a lot. Yeah. So, I mean, it was just a weird thing.

Starting point is 00:19:42 But, no, I mean, once I realized that wasn't going on anyway, I never finished Cortland, too. I got out of college. Did they give you an honorary thing like that in the mail or something? They would give it to me now, but I don't want to go back now. I don't want to. I'll get your degree, man. Really? Should I go back?

Starting point is 00:19:56 I mean, I wouldn't say, I'm not going to tell you not to get your education. Yeah, maybe I should, right? No, I shouldn't. For what? What am I going to use it for? I don't know. I got urban planning. That's mine.

Starting point is 00:20:06 Did you go to, do you finish college? Yeah, finished college. We had almost 11 years. Where'd you go? I went online. Eleven years for college? I went offline also. Oh, you did?

Starting point is 00:20:14 Yeah, I went to a lot of schools. I went to Arizona. Where else did I go? I went to Santa Monica College. I went to University of New Orleans. Why did you not finish at one? LSU College of Charleston. I don't know why.

Starting point is 00:20:27 Oh, I started doing comedy. And I would hit the road and I'd be like, and then I'd have to pick back up and do a semester and like it was just piecemeal. Did you get into, like, through improv or just right into stand-up? Just got into stand-up. I was just like, you know, I think I, the first, Mark Gross, I think was the first comedian maybe I ever saw.

Starting point is 00:20:43 Bring him up. Bring up a picture. What year did you start? I started in 2005. Oh, my goodness. That is so crazy. Yep. I saw this guy perform and I was, and I'd seen, like, Chris Rock is my favorite comedian growing up.

Starting point is 00:21:00 I'd seen, like, you know, I'd seen comedy, but I'd never seen it live. Right. And we went to college where it was like, at LSU, they'd call you and be like, you got 30 free tickets tonight. Right, right. What? Because there's paper in the room, but you'd be so excited. Yeah, you'd just get a gift. Yes.

Starting point is 00:21:17 So you go. And I went and I saw him. And I was like. And it changed you. Yes. I was like, oh, this can really be like a thing? That you wanted to do right away or you thought? I don't think I knew I wanted to do it.

Starting point is 00:21:28 But I just, I liked being funny. And I was like, oh, this can, like there's a, this is a real path. I just never connected the dots. I need like dot to dot to dot to dot. I need dots between the dots to connect them, you know? And, and yeah, so that made me like start to, I think, have the bug. And then I got to L.A. And then I started just going up, you know.

Starting point is 00:21:49 Dude, I was in Vegas when I saw you and heard about you. You know how I heard about you or saw you? your face was the whole side of the hotel. Oh, yeah. You remember, did you see that? Yeah, I did. That was badass. I was like, who's this?

Starting point is 00:22:06 I was like, my goodness. I know. I checked you out, dude. And that was awesome. That's really cool, man. That was cool. That's crazy. That's it.

Starting point is 00:22:12 Just to think that you saw that. Stong, yeah. I was like, whoa, I don't get that. I never got. Yeah, that was big, man. No, no, no, no. I'm serious. That was cool.

Starting point is 00:22:21 Yeah, some of that stuff is pretty cool. It's like impossible to live up to that kind of That is, but it's still, man, that's cool. You know? Yeah, stuff like that's kind of interesting sometimes, I guess. Yeah, there it is. See, it is. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:33 Look at that, man. That's exactly what I saw. And I was like, whoa, this guy looks like Salomeo. Yeah. You look at that look, right? That's a hero. I'm looking for the shooter from that shooting the head here a few years ago. That's right.

Starting point is 00:22:46 That was rough. Yeah, that was a surprise. Anyway, I fucking really ruined that comp of me or giving me. But, thank you, too. It's true. It's true. I remember seeing that being there, Vegas. And I was like, well, you know, it's, it's an instant bit of like, who's this guy?

Starting point is 00:22:59 Like a little bit of fear. Oh, yeah. I'm always like, oh, my gosh, this new guy. You know, I'm trying to fill this room. I hope I do well tonight. And this guy's got the side of a building. I'm like, good for him. Because we needed that much advertisement, too, probably that's what it was.

Starting point is 00:23:14 True. We started small. We started on thimbles. I love it. We're just handing him out on guitar picks. Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea. This episode is brought to you by Pepsi, and we've actually got their Super Bowl commercial that premiered last night. Let's take a look at it right here.

Starting point is 00:23:37 Oh, blind taste test. My whole life's a blind taste test. This bears in therapy, or beripy, I think they call it? I don't even know. Whatever this is about, I'm in. Cheap furniture. Tell me about your mother. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:53 Mother longing. Is this me? staring at women through windows, yep. Oh, that's sweet. That's nice. Let's go, Bear. With your lady at a concert. Oh, that's a pretty cold play right there.

Starting point is 00:24:18 Me and this bear are really similar drinking games, therapy, cheap furniture, and longing for a woman through a pane of glass, peeping tomming. We call it. But I guess in the animal kingdom, it's more of like a acceptable pastime. All right, moving on. But actually kind of staying right here. Some of my friends bug me that I choose Pepsi over Coke. But there's actually been blind taste test that prove that Pepsi Zero Sugar

Starting point is 00:24:45 tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. There's even a name for it. It's called the Pepsi Paradox. It's the idea that once bias and labels disappear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi Zero Sugar. Yep. Pepsi first showed this 50 years ago with their iconic Pepsi challenge when they had people try Coke and Pepsi without the labels and the results were clear.

Starting point is 00:25:10 When you take labels out of the equation and you just focus on taste, people choose Pepsi. I mean, that's what the Super Bowl commercial was showing. There's a blindfolded, cola-loving polar bear, and he chooses Pepsi, zero sugar. Dude, my freaking blind cousin chooses Pepsi. He just emailed me. how can he email maybe he could Pepsi for a second hey quiet down bad joke it's the question that Pepsi's putting out there is your cola choice actually about taste because they redid the Pepsi challenge in 2025 and guess what 66% of people chose Pepsi zero sugar over Coca Cola zero sugar

Starting point is 00:25:58 and it just makes you think if nobody told you what you were supposed to like, what would you actually choose? The public has spoken. And Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. If you're curious, go try Pepsi Zero Sugar. Let your taste decide. When your comedy first started, was it just something you wanted to do? Do you know it kind of? I know it's such an old question, but you and I don't really know each other. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew when I got out of college, I left college. I didn't finish. I went home for the summer. And my brother started doing improv.

Starting point is 00:26:33 And I was like, I was bouncing at the time. And I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to try something. And I always follow him into other things. So he'd be like, you come into it, you know, whatever it is, you know. So I ended up doing a small community theater play. And I said this, you know, then I started doing an improv group with him and their buddies.

Starting point is 00:26:56 And I fell in love with it. And then it just progressed into stand. Now, I did my first stand up. First night was in 1989, July 26th, 1989. That's how long I've been doing it. And, no, I loved it. I mean, and I crushed the first night I ever did it, which I'm thankful for. Because the second night, I ate it so bad with the same material.

Starting point is 00:27:19 And I didn't know, you know, and if I would have ate it first, I think I never would have done it again. But so I'm thankful that I did okay. And then, no, I love it, man. I love it. And then, you know, just. Was your brother weird about it that you came in and liked his thing? No, you know what? I got to say, he was really cool about it.

Starting point is 00:27:35 He actually, he would tell me, you want to do this? Okay, if you want to do this, come and do it. And I would start to do it. You know, back then we would buy these calendars completely empty. And I was working at Granger, and it was like my last day job. I was like, I wanted to get it. Granger the equipment? Yes, that's what I did.

Starting point is 00:27:51 I was in the back. It was hot as can be. And I had to fill orders. And I hated everything about it because it was miserable. I was just trying to work my way up to the air conditioning. There's hell of mice in there, too. There's everything in there. You know, so I'm just driving a fork lift, and I'm working hard,

Starting point is 00:28:06 and I'm trying to fill my calendar with these stand-up dates, and it would just be like once a week or whatever it is. And then my brother called me one night, and he goes, what are you doing tonight? And I go, I'm staying home. He's like, because you have to sign up for, you know, open mic night? Yeah, you got to sign up sometimes in advance or that sort of thing. You got to get there early. I go, he's like, why aren't you out of the club tonight?

Starting point is 00:28:25 And I go, I didn't get a spot. He's like, that doesn't matter. So what? Why aren't you going out to making something happen? Go look. And, you know, somebody falls out or you meet somebody or talk to somebody. And I'm like, all right. And I went that night and I met somebody and I became like my first agent.

Starting point is 00:28:39 And so he was right, man. He helped me, you know, a lot in that. And he was cool with helping me out. And he was the funny one you said? Yes, he was. I mean, we're all funny. The whole family was funny. He was the first one to start it, like, to get going that direction.

Starting point is 00:28:54 Because it's interesting how, like, how like that happens. And I was like, yeah, like my brother was a funny. And so I think that's why, like, you know, I think of why I wanted to be funny. Yeah, you just, yeah. You're just trying to like. Did your brother do stand-up? No, he was just like, probably just desperate for attention like me,

Starting point is 00:29:08 but he was also, you know, he was a funny guy. Right. There are a lot of funny guys in school that were like, he didn't get a stand-up. Oh, dude. That would be, I'm like, the best. That would be the best and I was so glad you didn't do it.

Starting point is 00:29:19 Oh, dude, my friend Scott was like the funniest kid to me, and I'm like, I am, some of the people are like, Theo, you're funny. I'm like, dude, I, there's so many people who just never really just, went and did it. Yeah. Because, I mean,

Starting point is 00:29:31 honestly, being funny with your, and making that leap to doing it in front of people and developing, it is a different thing, though.

Starting point is 00:29:38 It's like you've got to create it and kind of get used to. It's a different animal, right? When you're... Oh, yeah. Because I know my buddies are so funny. I got a buddy who's so funny,

Starting point is 00:29:47 but when he doesn't, I go, do that impression in front of someone else, he can't do it. He folds like a house, man. Oh, yeah. He's just, it's rough.

Starting point is 00:29:55 It's rough. And I look bad. Oh, dude. The worst is, when, oh, sometimes you do look bad because of other people. I remember this. I dated this girl. She didn't know how to stand out of the way of where people were walking.

Starting point is 00:30:07 See, that would drive me. That would drive me nuts. I would have to go hide in the fucking bathroom. No, that's brutal. We'd be talking. She would like take a step back. I'm like, this is where all the people are walking. And it was like, and people bump anywhere.

Starting point is 00:30:22 And then guys would like, you know, and then I'm out. I'm out. I dated a girl who would take five seconds. before she would realize that a waiter is there asking her first, like, so, and every time. And I'd have to go, you know, he's, he's looking, you know, and she'd just be like this. And a daze every time, five seconds, and then she'd come out of it. And I'm like, I can't go on. I can't go on.

Starting point is 00:30:42 I couldn't be married to that. So it was like, there's no use of me being here. It's the little things. Dude, I dated a girl that I was in love with. And then we were kind of, like, canoodling or snuggling, whatever they used to call it. I think they don't call, I don't know if they don't call it that. But we're canoodling, I guess, now it's called. and then, but her head was really small.

Starting point is 00:31:00 She had big hair. And her head was so small. Yeah. And I was like, I felt. Did you like that though? Or did you just was like, it was like a, it was a point where you go, I want to help her and be with her or, you know, or is it like that small or like, like a, like a, like, like a, like, like a, like, like a ballpoint pen? Or are we talking like? You know what that day when you, you only knew about baseball and then one day you're at PE and they show you soft.

Starting point is 00:31:25 Yes. Okay. And you get that ball. You're like, what the, what is this? You know? And you're like, oh, this is like a baseball with like intestinal issues or whatever. Right.

Starting point is 00:31:34 You know what I'm saying? Like it's, it's, yeah, it's a, it's a baseball with inflammation. Yes, yes. It's a baseball that has, yeah, that has not had proper dieting. My heart melts for people, the physical things more, but I dated a girl once who would just say the phrase, rattle your cage. Oh.

Starting point is 00:31:54 Every time. She's like, hey, and I'm like, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm like, I'm, just calling a rattle your cage. And I'm like, I can't go on. That's a buddy of mine. Joe, he sucks. Oh, it is?

Starting point is 00:32:06 Oh. It happened to a buddy of mine. But that is a thing that I would literally get out of. Yeah, I'd be out. Wouldn't that be something like that? She goes, hey, just calling a rattle your cage. I would fucking, no, no. Rattle my phone against the wall.

Starting point is 00:32:18 I would rattle my freaking head out of a balcony. I love it. Dude, yes, I would also, I dated a girl. We would be sleeping. get up in the middle of night, put a bunch of M&Ms and chocolate in her mouth and come right back in a fucking bed. She said like, sometimes I can't

Starting point is 00:32:35 fall back in sleep unless it was chocolate in my mouth. And I was like, that's crazy. Yeah, there's a lot of problems with that. But it was, that was crazy, dude. I had had a girl who made me roll her up in a blanket so she could go to bed at night. Orido style? Yeah. Or like the Lumpia. No way. It was like the Lumpia. Yeah. I had

Starting point is 00:32:51 a girl just, I didn't even realize that until just now. Did you have to unroll her in the morning? Or you just left in? No? You just leave. Oh, dude, I didn't even know her that well. You can't get out. Yeah, yeah. Well, she's... She doesn't have claustrophobic issues, though.

Starting point is 00:33:05 You know that. So if you ever stuck in an elevator with her, she's the one you're the one you want to be with. She's dynamite. Yeah, you're right. I need to look at the other side of the coin. Yes. But definitely...

Starting point is 00:33:13 There's always a bright side. Yeah. I sometimes get stuck on the other side. And I'm like, I know it's brighter over there, but... Yes. Let me mill around over here in the shadows, you know? Well, look at both. I mean, Little Head, you know, a burrito girl.

Starting point is 00:33:26 All these things can be... There is a positive side to it, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, I mean, her, I just, yeah, that was a lot for me. But then also, I'm like, I don't know. But there's a lot of things that I think have probably kept me kind of single over the years, you know? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:40 Did you ever try one of those matchmaking services or no? Because I get approached by those all the time now. I was before them, I think. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe they existed. But, I mean, I was before the, I think the Internet and all that crap. You know, I got married in 2000, what is it, three or four? Is it what was going on?

Starting point is 00:33:57 2004 I got married, was that, what was around then? I don't even know if anything was around, but I never used them anyway. Yeah, how would you even meet with, what was loitering or whatever? Yeah, it was, you know, we tried, I mean, I met my wife on a blind date. Someone set me up because Leah Remini, who was on my show with me, the King of Queens. She saw that I had nobody, and she set me up with, uh... No, so it was one of her good friends, huh? No, it wasn't her. She, she set me up, she didn't send me up with a girl.

Starting point is 00:34:27 She did over the year she tried to, but she set me up with a house decorator because she came to my, when we had the King of Queens, I got my first place in, and she saw how it was decorated, and it was terrible. I had like prong lamps and poster. Like I was living with my brother, and it was like, she's like, you can't do this. You can't decorate a way forward. So she got a decorator for me, which I never knew about or anything like that and wasn't me. And this decorator came into my life, and she was a horrible decorator. but she set me up. She really was.

Starting point is 00:34:57 She wasn't great either. I didn't like it. But she saw that I was lonely and like I had nobody. And she set me up with somebody she knew. And it was like, it was amazing. Did it change like that for you when you kind of realize like this is something? Because it's funny how you people go from a moment.

Starting point is 00:35:11 I have a friend. She's a comedian. She was like, I don't know what's going to happen. You know, I'm going to sell my eggs or my bury him over here, whatever, you know. And then out of the blue, one day I call her. She's like, yep, I'm moving to Florida. We're getting married.

Starting point is 00:35:24 It's just like... It can turn on a dime. That's the thing. It can. That's the thing you gotta remember. And by the way, I think it... Most of the time it does when you're not trying, right? You mean, the thing you're not looking...

Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah, that's what they say. Right? I don't know. I think, for me, it did. I was just kind of lost, and she was like, try... And I was like, oh, I'll give it a shot. Never thinking anything would come of it. And then I never left her.

Starting point is 00:35:43 That was it. Did you... Were you kind of a romantic guy? Are you kind of like that guy? No. I don't think so. I had to fake. Like she wanted to go out and we went to a sushi restaurant the first night and I didn't I never ate sushi.

Starting point is 00:35:56 So she's like, do you eat sushi? I go, yeah. I lied right out of gate. Oh, yeah. Just for it because, you know, I wanted to make things smooth. And we got there and it was just a rough. It was everything you don't want to eat at a sushi restaurant made an appearance. You know, it was rough.

Starting point is 00:36:13 And I had to fake it and get through it, but I was drinking a lot of beer to get through it and kind of taking. I was taking it like a pill, you know. like I would take the sushi like a pill. Yes. And I got through that night. You're holding your nose. I was lying about everything. She's like, do you jog in the morning?

Starting point is 00:36:30 I go, I jogged every morning. I never jogged. We started jogging. I was like, what the hell? I got to keep it up. And finally, we were close enough where I go, I got to tell you some things here. I don't do a lot of the stuff we've been doing, you know?

Starting point is 00:36:42 I sit a lot more than we have been sitting. And that was it. I was like, and she, you know, I was in enough of the relationship, though, where she was, like, good with it. You know what I'm saying? Like, we knew each other. So she's like, okay.

Starting point is 00:36:56 And then the active things kind of fell off, and it was fun. That's cool, man. Yeah. You got to, yeah. I mean, how hard are you looking right now? Right now I'm actually trying to... We don't need to get back into it again.

Starting point is 00:37:07 I know you don't want to... Yeah, no, I'm actually just trying to take a step back right now, and I'm just going to, like, spend a little bit of time with myself and see what's kind of going on. You're working out? You're doing care of yourself? Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, man. I'm fasting today, actually.

Starting point is 00:37:18 You fast? I fasted yesterday. Did you? Yes. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Dude, yeah, I fasted today. I fasted, let me see.

Starting point is 00:37:25 I did like three days last week. I just got into it this year. And so it's been interesting. I feel super dehydrated today. Yeah. But it's like some days that happens. That's the biggest thing. You've got to replace the water.

Starting point is 00:37:35 And by the way, if you do fast, the next day you don't go to Nashville. It just in Nashville. I just went to the deli here and crushed it. It was great. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Like, I bounced by. I can do a day fasting, and then the next day you should just kind of be good on your body

Starting point is 00:37:50 because it's like it digest it, like it's feeling good, and then you can't put crap back in. So I got to stop doing that. It's obviously the battle for me, the food, but that's awesome that you're fasting. Yeah, I like it. What do you fast for? You don't need to lose weight, so you're fasting for... Just for health reasons, just because they say like autophagy your body gets into, and then it helps fight like cancer cells and things like that, like your body starts taking care of itself.

Starting point is 00:38:12 And because my brain gets clear, I have noticed... It's funny. I just noticed this the other day. I think I'm having dreams that seem more relevant to, like, direction in my life and, like, some sort of, like, information, not all the time, but a little bit more than just, like, dreaming that I'm, like, attacking somebody with a, you know, like, you know, fighting a neighbor. Exactly. Regular shit or waiting in line or whatever.

Starting point is 00:38:39 Yes. Yes. But you have dreams of waiting in line? Oh, yeah, dude. Luferey. Who's in a lot of them? No. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:46 You and Lou Farragna are waiting in a line? Yeah. At the post office and his wife's mad at him. No. At him or you? Yeah. At him. Are you in front of him?

Starting point is 00:38:53 I don't know. I'm behind him. Yes. Yeah. So you see it going on. Yeah. You see the relationship. And then is the lady behind the counter going like next?

Starting point is 00:39:02 Or you never get there. No. You never get there. We never get there. Dude, that is the greatest dream of all time. It took, dude, I've probably had it 300 times where I finally was able. You ever had a dream so many times. You're just on the edge of when you wake up.

Starting point is 00:39:13 You're like, what? Yeah. I've had it so many times. What is it? You know? And you're like, it's horseradish. Yes. Dude, yeah, that's one of a big one for me.

Starting point is 00:39:23 I love it. But recently I've been getting, I've just been getting a little more information. Anyway, I just think it's, I feel clear in a lot of ways. It's helping me feel a little bit more inspired, I think, to take care of myself because I think it starts to show me

Starting point is 00:39:36 that I'm willing to make some sacrifices, even in little ways that... That's what it is. Yeah. Man, that's... Have you done? You're a... Yeah, I did fasting.

Starting point is 00:39:47 Like, I do it a... Every once in a while I'll do it, but I did a really long one. And it was great. And then I got fat again. I told Rogan this. I did 41 and a half days. Damn, you were.

Starting point is 00:39:58 And, and... But honestly, I didn't rid myself of... Like, I was doing it for, like, different, like, spiritual reasons. Like, I wanted to clear out everything. And because the whole journey, I was watching, like, food, pictures of food and going, this is what I'm going to eat when I'm done.

Starting point is 00:40:17 I can't wait to get back to it. I never really broke the habit of going, I don't eat food. It doesn't matter. I would feed, you know, I would cook food for my kids and the smell of food. I'd be like, hey, can I make you a sandwich? Because I was living through that. And I wouldn't eat it. And I was fine with that.

Starting point is 00:40:30 But I needed to see the food and hold it. I'd smell it, you know, and then I'd hand it off. And it didn't break the real bind. You know what I'm saying? The cord of being detached from. from stuff, you know, and that's what I got to do in my life with everything, you know, because I'm addicted a guy. Like, I'll just be like, oh, I got to cut it off.

Starting point is 00:40:51 That's it. Yeah, I think that's what I'm doing, kind of trying to do with dating right now. It's just like, let me take a break from like, because if I put myself into a moment over here and I'm engaged, I'm in this over here, and then I'm going on maybe a date that I'm not interested in, but maybe over here somebody I am interested in it, but now I don't have time because I'm kind of dividing it up. And then I'm like, I'm like, let me just see what's going on, you know, here at the factory. You know?

Starting point is 00:41:14 Yeah. By the way, I had a dream that I was on the ledge of a building and I'm falling. I've had this one a few times. I'm falling, but I never leave the ledge. I'm just yelling the whole time like I'm falling down. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, but I didn't, I never jumped. I'm just looking.

Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah. And then I wake up. That one comes back. Anyway, I just want to throw that in there. I'd be so pissed if I'm down there. I'm like, what is this? Yeah. Look at this poser.

Starting point is 00:41:39 Yes, exactly. You're looking like, is he doing it? He's just yelling. He's given all, you know, he's got all the accoutrema. but no fall. Dude, the weird guy at a suicide jump is the guy was just waiting down there for the guy to jump. They're just like this, not doing anything. Yeah, that's what you should do, because this guy's not either helping or pushing.

Starting point is 00:41:57 You know, either one. He's not doing anything. He's not doing upstairs, do something, make a move, but he's just waiting. These are the people in life we don't need. Eating and the guy that's eating and waiting. If you get nachos and you're pulling up and you're waiting for a guy to jump. Yeah, you're like, hey, yeah, yeah. No, I can't.

Starting point is 00:42:14 Give me, give me 30 seconds. Let me grab this. No, too. So. Ledge, to dream of standing on a ledge represents being on the verge of something. Is it? Yeah. You or someone else may be very close to finally making a big decision.

Starting point is 00:42:27 You may be feeling tense or experiencing anxiety about a difficult change. Alternatively, a ledge may reflect how close you or someone else isn't close to going in a farceage. Wow. Shit, I fucked. I messed up the sense. That's okay. It doesn't make, because you know what? It still kind of hits the area.

Starting point is 00:42:41 You know what I'm saying? I kind of got the gist of it. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, Rogan's crazy. Have you been on his show before? I did Joe's show. I've known Joe's for, got to be 35,

Starting point is 00:42:52 maybe more than 35 years. Oh, wow. Well, what's 1990? No, maybe 34, what is it? 1990s, 36 years, right, 26. That's so wild. Yeah, yeah. He's the one who got me,

Starting point is 00:43:07 I mean, really with my manager, and he's just, he's always been the guy that's just like, go follow your own path and you know he was the one and got me out of yeah he got me out of did he always seem so confident yeah he did he just did um he was

Starting point is 00:43:25 the one who got me out of like i was the stand-up comedian behind the mike with the you know the the sleeves pushed up and the bolo tie i don't know if you remember these comics these comics were the jackets the funny jackets the color and he just wasn't that guy he was just a half backwards guy and just go out there and he always telling me like don't i was always like so desperate to get laughed and trying so hard. And he was like, you know, don't give them your jokes on a platter. Like, he was one that told me, like, basically make them comfortable and knowing that

Starting point is 00:43:54 whatever you say, you know it's funny. And if they don't know, like, they got to catch up and be part of it, you know. Right, don't make it about the jokes. Make it be you that they're there for. Yes, yes. Yeah. He was such an influence on. So was he, did other people see him?

Starting point is 00:44:07 Because now people see him, I mean, and I certainly do like as a, you know, I don't if it's a pioneer as much, but like, I mean, he's the best in his space, like in podcasting. His stand-up is just, I mean, he's just a killer. Like, he's always been, you know, he's always, he just was like. He's super, super intense in anything he did. Like, once he locks on doing it, I think. He just seems so confident. I told him, I think, like, when he, I think God's going to make him one of the greatest saints

Starting point is 00:44:34 of the 21st century. I really do. I think this guy, and I keep saying, because God's going to use him. He's like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. He just goes and he seeks truth and he's a guy that it's just like when he seeks it, he knows it's true. He's unrelentical. Like he just doesn't stop. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:49 And it's like that's who. Like he'll go social. He's crazy. Like I knew it was martial arts. He's jih Tzu. He started jiu-jitsu together, by the way. No. I'm a blue belt.

Starting point is 00:44:59 I'm a blue belt 30-something years. He's crazy black belt. He's beyond, you know. He's dark black belt. Dude, he's so, he's, he's a cafe de negron. He is badass. He is the real deal. He really is.

Starting point is 00:45:12 And he was getting into the internet before anybody and just searching these things and truth. And I mean, he was crazy about it. And I was just like, I never, I'm always behind the curve, way behind it. Well, we need sleep, I think. He's like the kind of guy, he's like, I don't know, he always just seems to me like he's so. And he and I know, he and I know each other pretty well now. But he just has always go. He's always go.

Starting point is 00:45:37 And he's so curious. And he remembers everything. That's the craziest thing. You can't lie to him because he remembers everything. So you're about to lie and you're like, oh, shit. No, he's, and he'll call you at that. That's what I love about it. Like, you know, even me, like I'm there.

Starting point is 00:45:50 I know him for 36 years now. Even doing his podcast, it's like, you got to be careful because he'll be like, what? What do you mean? And it's like a dog, you know, it's a dog that caught you and you're like, you know, and you got to come, you know. But I love that because he's in, there's such an innocence behind that. He just wants to know the truth. He's like, that's not true. You didn't say that or you didn't do it.

Starting point is 00:46:11 So you got to be careful. He's kind of an oracle. Like, I don't know if it's an or, but he's kind of like a mirror of something. You know what I'm saying? There is something about that. I think it's super. I totally believe I,

Starting point is 00:46:20 some people give him a hard time, whatever, but to me he's always seemed very altruistic as just to who he is, you know, or trying to be the best of who he is. That's it. And everybody falls, everybody makes mistakes, you know, and does things wrong. But I know this guy is searching for truth.

Starting point is 00:46:35 And he, he's always just calling it out. He's an astronaut, man. He's everything. Dude, yeah, I was at the UFC the other day, and he brings these big bags of beef snacks, and it's just beef and salt that's dried out beef. And he brings... Because he wants to get down from 2% to 1% body fat.

Starting point is 00:46:53 Is that it? He's doing something. Wow. He's always over there fucking, you know, drinking fucking bat saliva or something, doing something trying to get an upper. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, there it is, carnivore snacks.

Starting point is 00:47:04 So he has three bags, and he gave one of Daniel Cornuier, and then Daniel, traded one of his and, um... Treated for what? I had a tub of popcorn. And he couldn't keep away from it. Oh, I love it.

Starting point is 00:47:20 He's like, my hand just keeps ending up in there. DC. Yeah, but anyway, that was pretty great, dude. But I got to eat a whole bag of those beef snacks by myself. You know what? They're really good. They're not too salty, so you don't get like, like chip fatigue, you know? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:34 You remember you chip fatigue? Well, someone's like you're chewing on the top of a shoe, and it's just tiring. It's exhausting for the teeth. Oh, and it's not like jerky. Jerky to me, sometimes at a certain point, seems like, what are we doing here? Yes, it's a give up. You give up. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:48 But this is nothing like that. That's cool. Yeah. And it feels kind of carnivorous, I guess, in a sense. Yeah, I enjoyed it. Right. But it's fun just seeing him over there with their snacks. But sometimes you'll see Daniel Cormey over there, he'll have a thing on somersaws.

Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's freaking February. He dips. And he's over there to slicing it off, you know? I love it. He's a good man. He's like me in that he loves his food. He likes to get.

Starting point is 00:48:12 I golf together. I golf with, yeah. Are you golf with him? I did golf with him and Chris Wybin. Chris Wybin loves you too, by the way. Chris Wybin is a cool guy. Yeah, he loves you. I know Chris for Long Island guy, so he's the great.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever, so whenever you were training, was he training to them? Oh, he's training with him in their group. Ray Longo and over there. Dude, that's cool. Yeah, they're fun. They're a fun group.

Starting point is 00:48:34 Long Island is tough guys, man. A lot of good guys came out of Long Island. Yeah. So, no, but it was, it was. It's, you know, fun him in D.C. We all went out and golfed and had a blast. Oh, does that mean next to Wybin? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:47 That's you? Wyman is hilarious, dude. He's got the best energy, bro. Yeah, he's a great guy. He's incredible. And, yeah, he... They have a great show now that they do, too. Yes.

Starting point is 00:48:58 He was just telling me that. They're doing more and more with him. And I said, man, I was so happy that he stopped fighting. I want him all to stop fighting because I don't want anybody get hurt. Like, you get to know all these guys. You get to know all these guys. You're like, please don't fight. I can't, that's why I stop watching.

Starting point is 00:49:11 I don't go anymore. I used to go all the time. Oh, you did? With Rogan, oh, I wouldn't. Dude, there was no, yeah, I would go to these fights before anybody was even there. Oh, wow. I would hear, you know, the stomping on the canvas. There'd be nobody there. Dude, that's when I go. Yes, I love

Starting point is 00:49:25 that. I go in the beginning. And you hear a crack of a, you know, a fist into a jaw or something or his, and I loved, I loved every moment of it, but I just couldn't do it anymore because I would get to know these fighters. And I was like, I couldn't, I'm Randy Coutour, and, you know, Chuck Liddell, those fights.

Starting point is 00:49:42 I saw Chuck Lidl, I thought he passed away, and I was like, holy shit. Yeah, no, I couldn't. Look at you. You are there early. Oh, dude, I go early a lot. Dude, I love that. Last time I got there too early.

Starting point is 00:49:52 I love that, man. So you're not showing up at the main event going in there and sitting down. I love this. I think this is amazing. These are like these people that are doing the thing that they love the most.

Starting point is 00:50:03 Right. And some of them in the earliest, they're coming out for the first time into this UFC. Like, and they come out and nobody's there. It's like, what do you... But, dude, sometimes you see some of the best fights early?

Starting point is 00:50:14 Yep. Yeah, I love it, dude. Good for you. Yeah, that was it. And then I would start to know these fighters and I couldn't watch them anymore. I was there with Rich Franklin when he got knocked out by Anderson Silva.

Starting point is 00:50:25 And it just... I was there was his wife, you know, watching this. And it's just like, you just stunned. And I'm like, I can't do this anymore. So I stopped going. I couldn't do it. I don't want to see these guys. And I was telling him that...

Starting point is 00:50:36 I wanted to say that I wanted to get Chris out of fighting. I was like, he's had so many surgeries, broken leg, you know, all these things. And it's like, just, he's a good looking guy, man. Do, do, you know, get on TV and he's funny and he's, you know, personable. So I'm glad to see he's doing TV stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of great guys over there. Angry girls, it's been fun. Yeah, being associated with that whole thing has been just so exciting.

Starting point is 00:50:57 Just to get to go watch it, you know. Do you train? No, I trained for a little while. And then I just kept getting hurt. Yeah, it's tough. Like my ribs and I'd be having, like, in some fucking huge guy. be rolling over on me or something. And it was just like it was a lot.

Starting point is 00:51:11 So I think I'll do it again whenever I don't have so much responsibility. I got to do it when they work out the smell. You know what I'm saying? The smell of the room? Oh, yeah. I just, I can't do it. Not at 60. Like when I was younger, it's like, hey, you got to be able to, it doesn't matter what it is.

Starting point is 00:51:25 You know, at 60, you go, I don't, I don't need to smell this anymore. You hit 60? Yeah, I hit 60. You believe that? No, not at all. Yes. You're a baby. I'm telling you, I've been around a long time.

Starting point is 00:51:38 So what I'm saying is I don't need the smell of a jiu-jitsu room anymore. Yeah. I'll do it privately. I'll do it like that way for a while. And once, you know, because a wet ghee, I don't think there's much worse than that going up against the guy with a wet, right? And you're like, and you're in there. And he's got your face and he's cranking it. And all you got is like wet ghee and chest hair.

Starting point is 00:52:00 That's past gay. It's past like a gay feeling. I think a gay feeling. It's not even. It's beyond romance. Yeah. It's not, yeah, it's a control thing. And it's just, yeah, it's just not good.

Starting point is 00:52:12 And he got wet and then got cold and wet. Yes. That's the thing. If somebody's warm and wet, at least you're like. It's actually a bath. Yeah, that feels like a little bit more like a bath would feel. Cold and wet is just, it's bad. And the smell.

Starting point is 00:52:26 Yeah, that's tough stuff, dude. Not my favorite. No. We've got another segment now brought to you by Pepsi. You saw the bear, the myth, the legend. in the Super Bowl commercial where he chose Pepsi Zero Sugar, and now we've got him in studio here. What's up, Bear?

Starting point is 00:52:48 First off, thanks for coming. I don't even how you got here. Well, actually, we just had a huge freeze here. So, oh, you can't talk. Okay, I think what will be easiest to get to know you, I think, is if I ask you questions and you just use these paddles, this or that. Does that make sense to you? Okay.

Starting point is 00:53:11 Let's get started. Okay, I gotta ask you out the gate, big dog. This, female polar bears or that? Thick raccoons? Female polar bears, huh? Okay. But if you get one of those snow racks going and show it a thing? Okay, let's keep it moving.

Starting point is 00:53:38 This, Polar Express, or that? Tokyo drift. Tokyo Drift, really? Oh yeah. But Tom Hanks narrated Polar Express. Yeah, you're right, kind of. Dude, this is just for me. Have you ever had Penguin?

Starting point is 00:54:01 How is it? I knew it. They won't let us have it. Dude, what's your stripper name, you think? What do you mean? You live at the North Pole. It's the biggest pole in the world. You never even thought about your stripper name?

Starting point is 00:54:17 It's the last thing you ate and the street you grew up on. Yeah, I think so yours would probably like Snow Way. Zero sugar. Coming to the main glacier. I like it. I like it. Zero sugar. That's what I'm talking about.

Starting point is 00:54:36 Get that sugar out of here, boy. Don't be crazy around me with that sugar. I don't want no sugar bear. I want my bear to be sugar-free. Sugar-free. Sorry. Something took over me. Okay, that's not edible.

Starting point is 00:54:53 I don't care. I think we have another one. So this, the first sip, or that, the last sip? All sips. All sips. All right, this is the last one. This is a big one. This, Coca-Cola zero sugar, or that?

Starting point is 00:55:19 Pepsi-Zero sugar. It's the truth. Pepsi-Zero sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola. Cola zero sugar. That's his take. That's my take. But let your taste decide. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:48 Jeeps, where are you going? Oh, wherever you want, I guess. Where does a polar bear sit? Wherever he wants. Was it hard for you to adapt to married life once you got married? No. No, once I found her, like it was like, I remember I went away.

Starting point is 00:56:06 I was with her for a while. You know, it's like, this is it. I knew this was it. And it wasn't because, oh, I got to get married or anything like that. I could tell because I just didn't want to be away from her. And I had to do, I think a couple gigs or whatever. I was on the road for a while and she couldn't go. And I just hated being away from her.

Starting point is 00:56:23 I was calling her every night and I was like, wow, I got to get back there, you know. And you had that feeling in a long time? I hadn't, you know, not with who I was dating and going out with it. So no, it wasn't there. It was totally different. And you just click on so many different levels. And it's like, it just becomes apparent. Like, man, I got, I need this person in my life.

Starting point is 00:56:43 This is, you know, they make me better too. You know, you know what I'm saying? They were like, yeah, that's it. So it's, she's, she's amazing that way. So that was it. I was like, I'm done. I'm happy. Gosh.

Starting point is 00:56:54 Oh, that's a great thing to say. Yeah. No, I am. It's amazing. Yeah, when you get excited, when you see your wife, you get excited, you give her a hug. It's, yeah, I'll give her a hug. But sometimes, you know, it's also, it's not, you know, all the time. It's not crazy romantic all the time.

Starting point is 00:57:10 Oh, yeah. It's life. You know, you're tired. It's like, you know, you just pass each other sometimes. It's, you know, it's a fist bump. It's like, all right, get out of her. Whatever it is. But I miss her this morning.

Starting point is 00:57:21 She left this morning. You know, we were out last night. And then I was like, wow, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, you know, you're going to have all those feelings. It's, you know, all the, the, the, the, the emotions and everything. And all the cooking or this, that, the things that you love them so much about, it's a bounce of them all. It's everything. It's the good.

Starting point is 00:57:45 It's the bad. And you just realize overall it's like, I never want to be without them. You know, even in the worst moments. It's like, so you know that. And it's real. You think you can fall on like a different type of love when you're like, like in your late 30s or as you get older than you came when you're younger, you think? First, for me, I think I mature. I'm still not that mature.

Starting point is 00:58:06 You know, I'm 60. It's like, so I still think like a kid, like an idiot. So for me, I'm glad it happened later, you know. Some people are able to know what they want when they're younger and much more mature. I was not there, you know. Yeah, I think, and your career might not have happened the same. Yeah, that's for sure. I needed to be kind of by myself and get it going.

Starting point is 00:58:29 Because you might have left your family all the time to go, it would have just been really different. It would have been rough for sure. Yeah. So I'm glad I got the, the. grind out. Now I take them with me if I'm, you know, doing a movie, you know, I'm never away from him for that long, which is good. Do you miss some of those days, like the road days back in the day? Like, do you ever, are there any of them that you kind of romanticize a little bit? I still do them. You know, it's like the days. But I mean, like, clubs that weren't it just like,

Starting point is 00:58:51 you know, I'm talking about like, you know, like, you know, like, in the condo and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Like, did you ever stay in Missa Wachauca? Oh, yeah, dude. You ever stay in Missa Wicca over there? Where's that? Indiana, like, right outside of, uh, Notre Dame's right there. No. No. But I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I mean. I mean, crazy, crappy condos and stuff like that. But it was exciting. It was me, my brother, a couple other guys, comedians that were, you know, we, we, we, we, Rogan, you know, but never went on the road with Rogan.

Starting point is 00:59:18 But, yeah, it was great. It was fun. You know, you stay at casino. Like, I used to play the Tropicana in Vegas. Yeah. And I was, I never gambled. I've never been to Vegas. And I remember losing my, my week.

Starting point is 00:59:34 You go there for a week. You do two shows a night for, seven days, man. You have to eat downstairs with the staff. Yes, exactly. And sometimes there's no food and they're asking you for food. Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:59:43 It's rough. But you're excited to be there. It was like 103 degrees. This is, I remember when OJ, when they were chasing OJ, I was in Vegas at the Tropicana and we were drinking. We got to, you're staying in your hotel. You got no, I think you get in maybe, I don't know how much money you're getting, but I lost in the first night, I've lost my entire week's work.

Starting point is 01:00:06 of money. I'm not kidding. So we got a case of Bud Light Ice, which was the beer then it was so good and frosty at a gas station. Oh, I remember that beat. Do you remember that? Yeah, they discontinued it. Yes. Yes. I liked it. I did too. Bud Light Ice. And, uh... Bring up a picture of it. Can you please? Something would it look like? And they had met of, there was a something dog at the same time. Oh yeah, Red Dog. Red Dog or something like thing. I love that. You know that. Red Dog was disgusting. It was supposed to be for like disabled. Bud Light Ice. There you go. We got a case of that. We sat in my... Yes. in my hotel room and we just pounded it and it was like still 103 degrees at night.

Starting point is 01:00:41 I remember that and O.J. was being chased or whatever. It was just crazy. Dude, I remember I would be in my hotel. One, I remember this one hotel I stayed at. I think it was in, or outside of Syracuse and like Liberty, New York or something. And they gave you a cup of water and it was filled up when I got in the room. It was like a cup of water. I was like, it wasn't even like a bottle of water. And I was like, oh, that was for you. Yeah. If you're a hotel, yeah. If you're thirsty, we poured you a cup of water and put it in there.

Starting point is 01:01:09 Did you stay in some rough places? Yeah, just places where you, like, would have to walk on the interstate to get there, whatever, like a highway to get there. Just some places that were a little bit, like, what is going on here? I drove eight hours to a gig that I had to do one gig. It was one night. It was making, like, no money. I get there early before the gig, and it's a crappy motel-type thing.

Starting point is 01:01:33 I pull the bed back to because I'm, tired, just drove eight hours, going to take a nap before the show. Yeah. There's a roach in the blanket. I mean, I don't even know. It was this big. I literally just put the blanket back.

Starting point is 01:01:46 I went to the show. I just sat in my car in the parking lot until the thing was ready. Did the show, drove home eight hours, man. I'm not staying with a roach. Couldn't do it. There's some miserable places. Yeah, dude.

Starting point is 01:01:59 I remember we were, to save like $100, you'd fly into a city that was like four hours. Like if you could figure out the math, and then drive here and get a ride. Then you're like, oh, I'll just finish a show. I'll drive and catch a flight out of Indianapolis at 5'8. It's just like everything was like just... Did you have a buddy, like a comic buddy that you go with or you were by yourself?

Starting point is 01:02:18 I didn't. I was out there and I'd always pee in the bed. I'd always pee on my cell phone once it came out. So I'd miss certain calls or wake up alarms. Back that up. Wait a second. What did you say? I would wet the bed.

Starting point is 01:02:30 You would wet the bed? Yeah, I'd be drinking. Let's start with this one. first and then we'll back in the net. Why is your cell phone in the bed? Can you put it on the counter? No. I'd fall asleep. But that's not that close. You shouldn't have that close to anyway. Put that on there. And by the way, you won't pee on it then. But why are you wetting the bed? Were you drunk or just letting it go? I was drunk and I went the bed

Starting point is 01:02:50 till I wet the bed for a long time. Okay. I was in it. Just because you got used to it when you were younger and you're like, let's just keep going with this? I can't remember, dude. I just think I just was always so nervous. Yeah. And whenever I was asleep at some point finally I wasn't nervous and my body's like well this is when we gotta urinate you know you seem like a guy that up from a place of fear right everything and like i'm that way i don't know about you but i get worried about everything or you're not worried about everything oh i would get worried like if i'm with a girl and there's like a moment of silence it makes me so fucking you got to fill that i get so scared yeah i'm like i just don't want to give a room not to like it was almost like

Starting point is 01:03:24 from that way if there's any space here she'll not like me that's exactly i don't want to give a room not to so you got to fill that space up yeah and i would do it with one word for the next set. So it's like, if we were talking, I'm like, yeah, well, I went to the, the other day of the game with my brother, and it was a lot of fun. And then it gets quiet,

Starting point is 01:03:40 and I would go because, and I would say, because, to give you moments to start. Yes, and, but I don't know what I'm saying. And she's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, hey, because it has to follow. You got to follow with something.

Starting point is 01:03:52 If you say becausea. Yeah. So I was like, because, you know, we just like the team that was playing something. And then it's like dead again. And I'm like, I do another one. So, and it's just, There's little words like, just shut up, man.

Starting point is 01:04:04 Sit in the pocket. I can't sit in the pocket. I can't sit in the pocket. Dude, it's same with baseball. I would get up there. I would swing three times four even fucking through it. And I would go sit down. Yes.

Starting point is 01:04:14 And if they had a problem with it, I love it. I'm going home. I like, my mom would sit in the distance. She would be in the van and she would honk. She's like, if you don't hit it, we're fucking leaving. I love it. I love it.

Starting point is 01:04:25 I never hit it. Dude, I love that. I never hit it, dude. But yeah, there's something about that moment where it's like, I just can't. Especially if it's like looking in a woman in the eyes, too, that's always been like super tough. It's just like something.

Starting point is 01:04:38 It's like, yeah, I just always had a tough time with that. But I can't let there be a thing. Well, I couldn't. If the woman didn't, like, in high school or even beyond, I had to know the girl. Like, she had to come over to me. Like, I could never be one of those guys that go up. I'd be like, ask my friends.

Starting point is 01:04:54 She's like, she likes you. Go talk to her. You know, I couldn't talk to her. I'd lock up. I'd walk around her in a big circle. Oh, gosh. Yes, that's funny. That's great, though.

Starting point is 01:05:01 That's, yes. That's insane. That's marking your territory and you're trying to go in and you don't even know how to do it. Yeah, I would need her to come over and I would need confirmation of, yes, I like you.

Starting point is 01:05:12 Yes. Let's go out. You know, I couldn't, I'd be like, you're like, you're like, I'd give her every out. Like, we don't have to do this if you don't want to go out.

Starting point is 01:05:19 Are you okay? That's what always, if anybody hangs out with me, a lot of them always like, are you okay? Yeah. There's a, part of me that just asks them that.

Starting point is 01:05:28 Yeah. But yeah. It's a sweetness, man, but it's a worry that you're not good enough. Right? I mean, I'm sure. And I think it's not even on the front of my thoughts anymore, but it's still just this old thing that's just built in me, you know?

Starting point is 01:05:39 I've had it. But that looking in the eyes, like, yeah, I couldn't look a woman in the eye. Just like, I don't know what it is. If I, if they, I don't know what I'm afraid they're going to see, you know. They're just going to see that something's wrong with me probably or something, you know, or I'm going to, or I'm going to see them. Here's what I think it is too. I'm going to see them see that something's wrong with me. Right.

Starting point is 01:06:01 Right. You would look for signs. She saw me just like, she knows I'm weak. Right. I'll know the look at her eyes. I'll know the look in her eyes when she sees that, when she realizes that there's something wrong with me. So I got, like, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:06:15 So I don't want to lock out, something like that. I don't know what it is. Anyway, sorry for talking. You don't want to know. No, no, it's the truth. I'm the same way. You don't want to give yourself the possibility of failing. So it's like you kill it before it happens.

Starting point is 01:06:25 Yeah. You go, I'll self kill it before. Then I didn't fail. It just went down. Yeah. I don't know. But then life gets, but then life gets along. You're like, what kind of, what theme park am I living in here with myself and whatever's going on?

Starting point is 01:06:39 I'm out of it. I'm out of it now. I'm coming out of it. I really am. I don't let those things that scare me anymore. Like, I don't care anymore. I do it. And that's, it's, it's been helping a lot.

Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah? Yes. Just by just. Just doing. Yeah. You figure it out, you go, I don't care. She said, no, she doesn't know. This one, this, whatever.

Starting point is 01:06:53 I don't get this. It doesn't do well. I don't care. Moving on. What's next. Let's go. We know what we got. God is good.

Starting point is 01:06:59 Go. Go. Yeah, get stuck so much on the thinking side. Yeah. Yeah. You got to get out of your own way.

Starting point is 01:07:05 I'm the same way. Yeah. That's interesting, dude. But yeah, that would be a lot of it. God. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:13 That would be a lot of it. Mm-hmm. But yeah, that thing, I'll be like, what else is going on? I'll say that all the time. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:19 If things get real quiet, that's a weird thing, huh? But I think that's what makes you, your brain is like, we got to come up with something. What are we doing here, Boys, you know?

Starting point is 01:07:28 Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I'm telling you, you look calm outside, but inside it's like, there's a fire. What do we do next? Like, she's not like it. I remember it all. I remember it.

Starting point is 01:07:41 It's over. It's cortisol shooting out of your face. You know, it's like, ah, I don't know what to do. I can't control myself. You know, it's just. When you think back on it, it's so insane. It is. It means nothing.

Starting point is 01:07:54 It meant nothing. Don't worry. Just calm down. Sit in the pocket. Yeah. Spade does a good job of that, man. He's always been that guy, right? He's just very cool.

Starting point is 01:08:06 Yeah. I've never been the cool guy. He's so cool. Yeah. My friend was the cool guy. Yeah. All my friends were the cool guy. Like, it was never me.

Starting point is 01:08:17 I was never that guy. No. Even the times when I thought I was that guy, I was like, ah, that's insane that you thought that, dude. You know? Because it just doesn't fit. Right. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't.

Starting point is 01:08:30 And that worked for me to not be that guy. And it's like when you admit it, you know, once you realize all I'm not, yeah. Yeah. Once you're not trying to be something. Yeah. It feels better, right? And it's like, it's all right. That's why it happened.

Starting point is 01:08:40 It makes things every, a little bit better. Did you feel like a little bit of like your character, Matt Taylor? That's the guy's name, which is so funny because I know three Matt Taylor's, but everybody does. Maybe that's why they pick the name. It's a lot of them. There's a lot of them out. How many are there? Bring that up.

Starting point is 01:08:54 Please. How many Matt Taylor's are there? I know three. There's got to be 14 or more in the world. There's a guy. I bet there's 140,000. I know, I'm joking. Oh, sorry.

Starting point is 01:09:08 Matt Taylor's right? There's no precise global account for the name Matt Taylor. A comprehensive worldwide name database do not exist. Estimates can be derived from available national data and name frequency tools.

Starting point is 01:09:18 So up here in the public records about 3,700 times? That's it? Huh. Yeah, there's no way to figure it out. Yeah. There's a lot of them, though. Matt as a first name alone has an estimated living population of 207,000.

Starting point is 01:09:34 I bet it's more than that. 27,000 Mats. There was that Kyle meet up in Texas. Do you see that? I did not. Bring that up. All the Kyle's? All the Kyle's met up.

Starting point is 01:09:46 Really? Yeah, bro. If we were to branch out now and go to try to figure out how many Matt Taylor's, there are currently living in the world, how, like, what is the first step? Like, the first step is do what, do I go, okay, like, if we just decided right now we're doing it? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:03 But do I, like, would I say to my guy, like, all right, call his agent, like, we're going to do this thing? Like, what is the first step? Do we book a hotel? And we say, we're going to talk about it or, like, we need a first meeting of how we're going to go about the thing? Is that it? The first step probably agreeing that we're going to do it together.

Starting point is 01:10:19 Right. That would take some time, though, right? Because we'd be like, are we really doing this? And then it's like, well, we've got to talk it out, let's think it. And the logistics of it, like, Like, how would we do? Okay, so then... Getting uniforms, too.

Starting point is 01:10:30 Searching for Matt Taylor uniforms. Every Matt... That would be sick. Would it be a jumpsuit or is it like two pieces? Every Matt Taylor. I think it's a onesie. A one piece. Like a car heart.

Starting point is 01:10:41 It's hard work. Yes. Dude, you know what I mean? Matt Taylor's are at least $27,000. I love it. Searching for the... Yeah, like the best Matt Taylor. Like, yeah, what are we looking for?

Starting point is 01:10:51 So the uniform would be probably the first thing we're working on. What are we looking for him for? Maybe we got a piece of mail for him. Yeah, just something like we can, yeah, or just to give them a pat on the back for being part of the team. Yeah, being in the Army. That's a militia.

Starting point is 01:11:05 That many people. Bring up that meeting of the Kyle's again. What did they do, too? Somebody said that... That is cool. They're all Kyle's? Yeah, those were all Kyle's. And Sugar Ray performed, I heard.

Starting point is 01:11:17 Oh, I love it. 706 people named Kyle got together in Texas, but it wasn't... Enough for a world world. record. Oh, how sad is that? First of all, let me say something. These guys put together, 706 of these people had the dream of becoming a world record breaker with the most Kyle's in a certain area. And they missed it. Look at that. By the way, as bad as we feel about everything that happened in our lives, if I had that one, that would tip it. It'd be tough to leave. Come on. No, your second

Starting point is 01:11:50 place for most Kyle's? Second place for most Kyle's. The crown is currently held by a town in Bosnia. 35 people named Ivan in 2017. So it's any name. It's not just Kyle's. So it's like just a certain name. But this is, I think, one of the largest groupings. What did it say about Kyle? Did it say anything else? Go back to that original article.

Starting point is 01:12:12 How does that start? Where is that first meeting? Oh, Kyle. Well, it's right here. It's not the first time the Kyle's have come gunning for the Ivins. Last year, the official count at what has become known as the Gathering of the Kyle's clocked in at 1490 in the fast-growing Texas City. that is about 37 miles of Austin.

Starting point is 01:12:28 Oh, the city's called Kyle. So they did it in Kyle, Texas. But are they named Kyle? They're all named Kyle. That's got to be crazy, dude, when you see who all the other freaking Kyle's really are. And you, dude, you see...

Starting point is 01:12:41 But do you go door to door? Are you knocking and gone... I'm sure they met it. I'm sure there was something online that announced it. Okay. And then they all showed up. I guess you have to register.

Starting point is 01:12:48 Yeah, that would seem a lot more efficient. Oh, dude, that'd be so crazy. You look around and everybody's a Kyle. And you see some, you're like, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Or they put one person out there that's not a Kyle. And the whole day...

Starting point is 01:13:00 Do you think there's anybody in that group of 706 that's not a Kyle? Really? That's like Kyle was his nickname. It wasn't even his real name. And he knows it. He's there. It's not on his birth certificate. And he's kind of like getting around, like not wanting to get caught.

Starting point is 01:13:13 And people are looking around. And other Kyle's know if you're not a Kyle. So they're just kind of like... And you're like, what's your name? And you're like, I'm Kyle too. And they're like, I don't know if he... And they're like, hey, they go to get his buddy. He's like, I want to check you out.

Starting point is 01:13:25 And then he leaves. He's like, I'm going to a bathroom. I'll be back. And he just goes to a different area of the field. It's so stupid. It's so crazy to be a fake call there just to fit in. But people have nothing to do. Look at what they're doing.

Starting point is 01:13:41 They're just trying, man. I love it, man. I love it. People are desperate for a connection. This is how it's getting. By the way, this is beautiful to me. This is. But the worst part is, though, imagine it's all dude.

Starting point is 01:13:52 You go there hoping you can meet a chick. There's some chicks named Kyle. Oh, do you think so? Is that? I've met a couple. Okay. I met a couple for sure. Who performed?

Starting point is 01:14:04 Who performed? I think Sugar Ray. But that's a missed opportunity. Shouldn't they get a Kyle? Isn't there a Kyle Performer? Kyle Canane could have. Yeah. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:14:13 That's a missed opportunity, man. It won't try to break the same name gathering record this year. Okay, so Kyle's out. Oh, so they're switching names. By the way, why don't you go with a Bob or something? Like, you know what I'm saying? It's... Oh, because the city of Kyle, Texas put it on it, it looks like.

Starting point is 01:14:28 All right. We'll find the better name. The city has been hosting the gatherings since 2017. All right. When you look back, this movie, what was different about making this movie than some of the others? Did you find it that it's easier? Do you have a different, like, like, ownership of this film? It was something that...

Starting point is 01:14:50 It came together really quick, but it was... It's the first movie that, like, I... I'm really, like, proud of that everybody who worked on it was just amazing. And it was just different than every, any other movie I've done. And the story is not that. It's not even that crazy different or anything like that. It's not, but it's, it's a classic. We hit every mark that we wanted to hit in doing this in a different way.

Starting point is 01:15:14 I hired, like, we got the best cast, the best crew. And again, it's not me. It was them and it was everything coming together in Italy that just made it. I just couldn't believe how great it came out. And it was like, I know, I think, honestly, for the rest of them, like, this would probably be the best movie. For me, like, it's the best I've done so far. Yes, without a doubt.

Starting point is 01:15:36 The best you've done, like, even in your acting, you think? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's the most where I'm real. You know, you do different movies for different reasons, right? Like, you know, when I did all cop, you know, I'm doing it for families and kids and you're being goofy and broad and this and that. And a lot of stuff you're getting that, you know, that's what they expect from you.

Starting point is 01:15:56 But this was one where I was able to, there's still comedy in it, but like I don't hold the comedy as much as like Kim Coats and Jonathan Roomy these guys and Allison Hanigan and Juliannegan and Julie Zeta. Yeah. Which allowed me to kind of play more of a real guy,

Starting point is 01:16:09 which is fun for me to do. And you play Jules? What was that guy's name? Kim Coates, from sons of Anarchy. He's just, I've known him for 35 years. Like he's,

Starting point is 01:16:17 I did a movie with him and Ray Romano called Grilled. Yeah. and it never went anywhere. We were meat salesman, and I met him, and he is the greatest. He's an insanely intense actor.

Starting point is 01:16:33 I don't even know what he's going to do, but that's why I want him for comedy. He looks at you, and he's just going to go a certain way, and you're going to go with him, and he was the perfect guy to play that role. Yeah, that was great, dude. He was really, really, he was a good, uh, yeah, his comedy was right on.

Starting point is 01:16:51 He's incredible. He crushes it. Whenever you made, what's another favorite, like just take me through one more favorite film that you, like an experience that you had. I mean, hitch, I mean, all the, you know, the stuff with Sandler, you know, growing, like, that stuff.

Starting point is 01:17:05 That's kind of a dumb question. No, no, I mean, it's like doing stuff with Sandler's the best, always. What about like a Hitch reboot today? Would that work, you think? I mean, I don't know how you do it with me, but, yeah, I guess you could do it. I think so. I think it was great.

Starting point is 01:17:20 Well, that was my first movie. So, I mean, I was thankful for that one. That was, that started out like, like, I had like one line or something. It was like a very small part. And then Will and I just connected. And he was so nice and given me, you know, some freedom to be funny and kind of try different things. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude.

Starting point is 01:17:40 And it just, it made everything for me. So I was, I was really excited about that. Do you feel a lot of pressure when you just had that much of a part to try to make it perfect in some way? And hitch? You know, coming in, you know, Will was a massive, you know, movie star. Oh, yeah, he's been one of the biggest. And movie stars were different then. It was like, it was just in the theaters.

Starting point is 01:18:00 It was like they were special. You didn't see them much, you know. And I remember we were doing a big table read in New York. And he walked in with his crew. And I'm like, whoa, you know, my eyes like, whoa, that's him. You know, it's like one of those things. And just happy to be there, you know, trying to pitch things. But, you know, don't want to get thrown out of the room.

Starting point is 01:18:17 You know, timing and stuff like that. but he was great. Like we would write after in his trailer, he'd go, come back and we'd work on some material and rewrite it as we were doing it. And I was just in it, it was a dream for me. It was really great. And it had that special feeling that I have in this movie,

Starting point is 01:18:34 honestly, where you feel things are coming together. Because I've done a ton of movies where you go, man, this is just not working. You know, it's like, you know, you just feel like you're muscling through, you're pushing the comedy too hard. This one felt so real to me. And it was just so,

Starting point is 01:18:49 so much fun to be a part of. Do you have other projects that you already have on the docket, Kevin? Yes. Yeah, we're working on one with the jelly roll that I'm going to be. It's actually a drama, country music drama that we're working together. You see that video of him the other night? The Grammys were there? Yeah, no, I wasn't there.

Starting point is 01:19:07 He is amazing, man. Yeah, he's great. I got a shirt. I bought a shirt at Walmart before coming here, and I already stained it up a little bit. Let's go. Yeah, let's go, Jelly. He sent me a pair of those shoes. is like they're like hat they're like I don't know what they're called oh yes yeah his the boots that he

Starting point is 01:19:22 wears yeah they're something like that yeah they're they're great uh he he's he's an amazing human man I'm so proud of him and and so excited to do this and in this drama here's the thing we both he goes hey if we're gonna do this we got to get into like prison shape because we go to prison we're both in prison in the movie and it's real where at what city in Nashville oh nice so um I haven't been in the prison here yeah it's a It's a whole thing about getting to the Yopri. And it's a really cool story. And there's a lot of drama in it.

Starting point is 01:19:55 And it's exciting. But we said, okay, we're going to commit now to doing this. And he went out and lost like 300 pounds. And I am up seven. I got to get down. You're up seven pounds right now? Yes. He's down like 300.

Starting point is 01:20:09 I'm up seven. Oh, that's a crazy spread. So, yeah, it's a big spread. We went the wrong way. And you already shot. No, no, we didn't shoot anything yet. We shoot in like, we're hoping to do seven, eight months. We're going to be ready to shoot.

Starting point is 01:20:23 Do you think you can get to that? I know I can. I'm going to do it right now. I'm literally, after I promote this movie, which I'm doing, I'm shutting down from everything else and I'm going into training mode like never before. I'm going to work out. I'm going to change everything. I'm going to be unrecognizable.

Starting point is 01:20:37 I have to say it. If I don't say it, I'll never be accountable. What will you do? Like, what do you have a plan? Yeah, I'm going to do everything. Like, well, I'm going to go easy, though. You know, it's like, that's the one thing. I'm very eclectic when I work out.

Starting point is 01:20:48 Like I do, you know, I'll do a little bit of jiu-jitsu and stuff like that. Light stuff, though, now in boxing and then stretching and a little bit of stuff, bike riding, things like that. Pool is insane. Swimming? Not swimming. I'm not a swimmer. But just getting in a pool and stretching and moving a little bit. If you can do that, if you have access to that.

Starting point is 01:21:11 But it's also like a lot of calories. And it's therapeutic because the water holds you. So it's like. your body feels good stretching and moving. So doing a lot of that. And no, I got to get on it, though. He's like, he's lived up to his part of the bargain. Or are you going to have a trainer?

Starting point is 01:21:27 Like, what else do you do? I do, but trainers get annoying to me. I got to be honest. Like, after a while. Yeah. And you know what? If I'm being completely honest, I've done it before. I know what to do.

Starting point is 01:21:38 I know what to eat. I know what, you know, but I am using Dulce. Do you know Mike Dolcee? He's got the Dolce diet. He's trained all these. UFC athletes. Oh, wait, I have met him before. Yeah, he's awesome.

Starting point is 01:21:50 He's going to help me. Yes, he's a badass. He's a really good. So he's going to help. He is going to help. He's frustrated with me because I don't, I haven't been doing, he knows I haven't been doing it. Yeah, you're up seven. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:22:01 So he, I don't think he knew that. I guess he's going to know that now. Sorry. All right. Sorry, Dolce, I'm up seven. But I didn't lock in yet. When I lock in, I promise you, it's going to be six, six months. I'm going to be a different person.

Starting point is 01:22:14 So, what would be the hardest thing for you to give up? you think? Food wise or just, I mean... Probably food wise, yeah. Or is it a beer wise or what is it? No, no, it's not drinking. I'm not a big, big drinker. It's just food.

Starting point is 01:22:27 And it's just amounts of food. Like, I could eat constantly if you change the food, like a shark. Like, I would just keep swimming. Like, I would just keep... Yeah. I don't get full, really, you know? It's scary. It's something in me that, you know, I need to stop.

Starting point is 01:22:44 But are you a big eater? You don't... You look great, man. I like to eat some, but I don't care that much. You don't. I like beef, cacadillas, and I like smoothie. Okay, but so you're not... That's a great combo.

Starting point is 01:22:55 Yeah, those are the two things I eat every single day. Do you really? Yeah, if I'm eating, that's what I eat. It's easy. We have seven ingredients here. But you don't think about it. See, look at your face. You're kind of like, that's your face when, you know, that's not my face with food.

Starting point is 01:23:08 But I think it's lame to not care about food sometimes. I think like, dude, get some zest in your world. No, I think what you're doing is... No. sauce or something. No, I think that's, I would rather be like that because, you know, why am I so concerned about what I'm eating for lunch? Like, I'm thinking about it constantly.

Starting point is 01:23:25 I'm looking at you right now, but I'm thinking tonight where, like, you don't want to make a mistake. You don't want to go. That's a good point. Right? Nothing's worse than making a mistake at a room. Especially when you're like, we're in Nashville now. Oh, dude.

Starting point is 01:23:37 So we got to pop. You got to find something good. Dude, I went to, I ordered a steak from this place, STK last night or something. Oh, SDK's great. This was not, dude. Oh, really? SCK missed? Didn't they have a place in the city?

Starting point is 01:23:48 They have a few of them, right? They're a chain? Yeah. It's too. I mean, it just. But not a, not a,

Starting point is 01:23:52 oh, it still makes me sick. It tastes like, I don't even know. Oh, STK. Sorry. I'm out then.

Starting point is 01:23:58 I'm out. If you had a bad one? Oh, it tasted like. No, I'm done. It tasted like, wow.

Starting point is 01:24:05 Okay. If they had one in LA, I think I went to it and it was good. Four hundreds or whatever. Like game of, really? Grones. Dude,

Starting point is 01:24:14 it was horrible. Game. game. Oh, dude, I can still, I had one bite and I was like, oh, maybe I got a bad piece of the meat or whatever. It tasted bad or it tasted bad and it just had this like aroma or odor. Oh, no. Ordour or whatever with it. And dude, that odor hit me and I was like, what is the odor?

Starting point is 01:24:34 Oh, you're seeing the odor odor odor? Ordoor. Yes. It hit me, dude. I fucking, my knees shook a little. Did they? I was like, God. But do you think it was like just bad tasting or it was bad?

Starting point is 01:24:45 bad like you're gonna get sick. I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell dude but I had one more bite because I was like I was I was like dude I was treating myself to something you know yeah I hadn't really eaten all day and I was coming home and I was like I'm gonna treat myself to something tonight I'm at order steak because I still have to work I was gonna try to go somewhere to eat but it was getting it was so late yeah and I was like and they sent it and I was like no no you can't it made me fucking do that kind of shit like you turn into your own car practice yeah see I wouldn't get upset like once it was bad I have no problem switching foods like I would go right to peanut butter and jelly,

Starting point is 01:25:17 and I would make a massive sandwich. God, now those are good. I guess they're as good when you're a kid, but I just quit eating them years ago. What? Peanut burn jelly. Why? You still eat them?

Starting point is 01:25:26 Yes, I do. Yes, I do. What is your ratio of peanut butter to jelly? Oh, I used to think, oh, I think I go thick on both. And I'll put, if I'm really going to have one, I haven't had one in years, but I would put butter on the jelly side as well.

Starting point is 01:25:41 Butter, jelly, and then the other bread has peanut butter on it. My grandmother used to do that. Toast? Or no? No. Sometimes my mom used to grill them with bananas in them, though. That's insane. I'm stuck on butter right now.

Starting point is 01:25:54 Like my mind is going like a beautiful mind right now. It's seeing all the equations of like why I didn't do it. But I got to tell you, first of all, I go much thicker peanut butter. Like I thick it up. Oh, really? It's a lot. Yeah. He's choke a little.

Starting point is 01:26:06 Yeah, that's fine. I get it down. And then it's worth it, though. And I get a little jelly in there just to get that sweet going. but it's a big one. And I'll do toast sometimes, but if you do too hot of a toast, I know this is a little bit too much information,

Starting point is 01:26:20 but then you get the wet peanut, like it melts and it comes right out, squeezes out the side. How do you feel when peanut butter started doing that thing a few years ago where they put just two parts of peanut butter into a jarred as like the oil and the part they separate? No, I can't stand that.

Starting point is 01:26:32 That's insane. I can't stand that. What is that? I don't do it. Like, I don't want to do the skip. Yeah, there you go. That's the drip. There you go.

Starting point is 01:26:38 That drip is good, but if it's if it goes out of the sandwich, it's useless. And you lose it. Yeah, God. Yeah, I don't like that or stuff. I don't like that at all. I do miss those kid foods, those luncheables.

Starting point is 01:26:50 I can't believe you. Why did you stop? I mean, when you say kid foods, like, they're foods. They don't, I mean, macaroni and cheese with the craft, like that put the powder, it never stops. Why do you go? What age is it appropriate to go?

Starting point is 01:27:04 I'm not eating the powder of cheese. Something happened to me, I guess. I just, I don't know. I just started, you know what? I just like working so much. I just don't think about food that. much. But maybe this will start, you know? Maybe I'll start falling in love with some new things, you know? I would like to go the other way. I would love to be like that. I wish I had that

Starting point is 01:27:22 where I wasn't thinking about it so much. What's going to be the toughest part for you with the, with this coming up change? I know you've got to get out of here. It's literally just, it's just going to be the food. It is. It's going to be cutting that out, being, but once I get into a groove, it's routine, routine and discipline, man. That's all it ever it is, right? So if you do it a little bit and you do it enough and, you know, you don't need a perfect every day, but that's the other thing too. I let the perfect be the enemy of the good, which means if I'm not perfect that day,

Starting point is 01:27:49 I go screw it, and I eat like crazy that night, and I blow it. And I, you know, if I get a flat tire, Wyben always, you know, if you get one flat, you,

Starting point is 01:27:56 you just pop the other three tires. Like, you know, it's like, you don't, you don't just fix that one. I do. Like, so if I go off my diet a little bit, I go out that night, I'm eating, drinking,

Starting point is 01:28:05 having a blast. And I'm like, I'll start tomorrow because it's a fresh start that I'm looking for. Oh. I love that start fresh, because I've always been that guy. I've always been the guy to never do the homework, you know, before when I should, it's Monday morning, I get it done. And then I get it.

Starting point is 01:28:18 And it's like, and it's like, because I can do it. That's the same. Dude, yeah, I was always like I wrote every answer on my finger I go in there. Yes. Yes. Like that. Little bitty words on there. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:28 Cheating. Well, dude, thanks so much for Solomio, man. Thanks for all the entertainment of the year. I was a little bit tired today. No, I'm sorry. I was a little weak, too. And I said a lot of things that I rambled for a while, that if you want to cut out, you can cut out because I was a little bouncy. Dude, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:28:44 I just feel like I didn't have a lot of gasoline in me today. But sometimes that's the day, man. Yeah. You know? It was great. You were great. But I'm grateful that we got to spend some time together, man. I really am.

Starting point is 01:28:52 And thanks for all the entertainment over the years. And, yeah, thank you. For Solomio. Solomio. Salomio. Salamio. But thank you. It's salamio.

Starting point is 01:29:05 I gotta remember that. Thank you for Solomeo. Yes. Okay. That's even. And there's, um, There's a musical ensemble. You wouldn't even imagine that this happens in this movie.

Starting point is 01:29:16 That's great. Yeah. And that guy's blind. Do you know it? Yeah. I didn't know. Probably I'm looking at him. I'm like,

Starting point is 01:29:23 this guy's fucking nonchalant, you know, about everything. And then I'm like, oh, this guy's fucking blind or whatever. My friend's blind. You have a friend that's blind?

Starting point is 01:29:32 Yeah. How blind? Like completely? Nothing. It's all. But has he always been that way? Yeah. He's always been blind since he was...

Starting point is 01:29:40 Uh, yeah. I mean, he could maybe have vision when he was very young, but he's always been blind. Wow. As long as I've known, he's been blind. I thought it was amazing. Anytime that somebody was like a deficiency, I always, like, admired it so much in some way.

Starting point is 01:29:55 My sister lost her sight. Like, she's like, but she just, you know, she was born with sight. She was fine. And now, you know, she's got retinitis pigmentosa where it's like, it goes away. And it's, it's, and I'm wondering if it's, like, more difficult to have seen or to never have, you know,

Starting point is 01:30:10 and just, no, it's just, Yeah, my heart goes out to all. We had a blind girl on here one time, and she was talking about how she, like, learns things. Like, it's almost like a video game. It's like that's how she kind of remembers things and where to go and different, like. And so, like, she can slowly build, like, spaces

Starting point is 01:30:25 to, like, walk in and things like that, she said. And then she said the worst animal that she's, she's, like, petted all kinds of animals except a snake doesn't give any energy back to the blind. That's what she said. Yeah, it doesn't give any back to the scene either. Yeah. That's what I said.

Starting point is 01:30:41 Right? Yeah, 100% Tanja Yeah Right there Long person Wow That's really

Starting point is 01:30:47 That's cool man You can feel like She's awesome I gotta check back in with her But um Yeah guys Go see Solo Mio You'll enjoy it

Starting point is 01:30:55 Take your lady Yeah Take your man Take whoever you got Take your son Take your stepson That's who needs to Yes

Starting point is 01:31:02 Bring your stepson Take your frickin Stepson Dude You never taking that kid Anyway That's all I want Stepsons

Starting point is 01:31:08 In free We should do The whole thing Right Dude, yeah. Right? Stepson's get in free. I wonder if Ainger can work that out.

Starting point is 01:31:14 And blinds get in free. Sure. Absolutely. Let's do it. I appreciate you, man. Yeah, you too, man. Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

Starting point is 01:31:23 Now, I'm listening. I feel I'm thieves I must be. I'll share this piece of mind I found I can see.

This Past Weekend - #638 - Kevin James

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