This Past Weekend - #655 - Sal Vulcano

Episode Date: April 27, 2026

Sal Vulcano is a stand-up comedian, podcaster and co-host of the popular show “Impractical Jokers” on TBS.  Sal returns to talk about neighborhood hams, what he’s loved about growing his family even more, and a wedding tape he found that he desperately needs to get back to the owners…  Sal Vulcano: https://www.instagram.com/salvulcano/  ------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo  Prize Picks: Go to https://link.prizepicks.com/LME0/THEO and use code THEO to get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Play Responsibly.  Better Help: This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at http://BetterHelp.com/theo  Shopify: Start your free trial with Shopify today at http://shopify.com/theo   Ultra: Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code THEO at http://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/  Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/  Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want to let you know that I'll be doing a podcast, taping this podcast, before a live audience. It's the only time I've ever done that. And it may be the only time I ever do, I don't know, but that will be with the champ, Iron Mike Tyson, on May 5th in Los Angeles at the Willtern Theater as part of the Netflix is a joke fest. And after that, it'll be on our channel, so you can see it there. You can get tickets at Theovon.com slash T-O-U-U-W-W. are. Today's

guest is a stand-up comedian. He's a host. He's a podcaster. He's a universal smile maker. You know him from his hit show, Impractical Jokers, and he's on tour doing stand-up right now. Always have a blast with the one and only Mr. Sal Volcano. We start filming season 13 on Thursday,

too, it's another thing, yeah. Wow. Wow. It's been on the air for 15 years. And have you ever met like a child that was like conceived during the show? Like has that ever been a thing? Yeah, people I know people met and got married. And I know people tell me they fuck to it all the time.

Oh my God. Really? I didn't think of that until one day I was on the, I was standing outside of my getting a tire, a flat tire fix. I was standing on a sidewalk and a guy pulled up at a light and you rolled down the window. He's like, sir, I love you, man. I was like, thanks, man. He goes, I was having sex with my girl for a last night while the show was on. And I was like, oh, shit, I never really thought about that.

So I went on to Instagram and I posted like, has anyone ever had sex while my show was on? It was like hundreds of thousands of people. You don't think of it, you know? One time somebody sent me porn of people and our show was on the TV in the background. What? Not like a professional one. Oh, just amateur? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh shit, maybe one day you'll make the big weeks. Yeah, man, hopefully we can show up on a brazzas, you know, one day. Maybe one day, bro. Oh, my God, dude. And why do you think it is that y'all's show is one of those shows that's like, all right? You know, let's make a child of this or let's get a little, you know, let's do the humpie. It's like background, you know? Like you put it on any time.

You don't have to, like, follow anything. Just turn it on. And it's good, like, playing in the background. It played all day long. So it just, it's like one of those things. like when I get to an hotel room, I turn something on and just, like, plays in the background. I think people are just,

people are going to go about their business while it's all. You think? You think that's it? I feel like. I mean, I don't think it's intoxicating or anything. I don't think it's like, like oysters.

Yeah. Visual oysters. No, I do think there's something about y'all show that it's like, it's the one thing, like spouses could probably kind of agree on it, you know? Yeah, yeah, we get that. There's not a lot, you know,

and you could have your kids. are in there, you know, everybody could kind of agree on like, all right, we'll all kind of watch us. There's a few shows like that now. Yeah, no, yeah, there's like a Venn diagram where the kids and the parents both like it. Yeah. And they, that's what we hear a lot too, which is like, it's a show that everybody can be like, oh, I'll watch that, you know what I mean?

I guess, so. There's a new Little House on the Prairie coming out. I think you and I have spoken about Little House on the Prairie before. Did we? Yeah, I think we did. Michael Land, because you were a big fan, right? Oh, yeah. Highway to Heaven.

You're a Michael Landon fan or a Prairie fan? The highway to heaven, and it needs to be repaved, brother. I'll say that. I mean, they got, you know what I'm saying? What was it? He was an angel that was like in purgatory, and his guy's friend with the beard was another angel? His friend was like an Oakland A's fan, so.

Yeah, but was he an angel to the friend or was he a civilian? No, his friend was a civilian. And he could see Michael Landon. Yeah, and everybody could see him, but he came back, and then he realized that Michael Land is an angel. Bring, bring it up highway to head. Heaven, what was the storyline on that? I haven't thought of that since the last time you and I spoke about it,

and the time before that was when I watched it. It's... Yeah, yeah, same thing. Why do we... Yeah, dude, well, I've thought about it, but I can't believe that you remembered that we had talked about it because I haven't talked about it with someone since then. Yeah, that's why I remember it.

I'm like, I just remember you making me laugh about it. Highway to Heaven follows Jonathan Smith, Michael Lennon, a probationary angel, you're right, and Mark Gordon, an ex-cop as he tried, Travel America, helping people in need on behalf of the boss, God. The series focuses on providing divine intervention, love, and emotional support to individuals, individuals facing hardship. Yeah, that's a pitch. That's such a funny pitch. It's like, hey, hear me out.

An angel and an ex-cop. Yeah. That's really good. I'm like, I'm sold. Oh, yeah. Michael Inum was one of a kind of me. And that show was great. But yeah, the highway to heaven, I think they put a dang toll.

They put a toll booth on it now. It's like. Yeah, you can't even. They couldn't remake something like this today. You don't think? Oh, no. I think now actually is when they probably can remake. Now I'm thinking about it.

I mean, I think you need a good Christian drama. I think you need something that's leading. I mean, it'd be nice, I think, if there were more influences towards faith, probably. But even having a little house on the prairie back, it's going to be a vibe, dude. Oh, wait, so they're bringing back highway to heaven, a little house on the prairie. Little house in the prairie. Because what was that highway to heaven right just now on the right? What's that?

Oh. Oh, they tried to bring it bag, bro. I didn't even know. No one knew. Nobody knew. And they brought it back. It looks like with an African-American actress. Who was there? Barry Watson. Oh, Jill Scott. Jill Scott.

Grammy Award winner Jill Scott and Barry Watson. Wow, that came and went. Oh. Or is that coming out now? I'll give it a whirl. It's 2021. All right. Well, you can't, I mean, there's COVID times. Yeah, people, and they were probably shipping people to having during COVID. We were the high wind of heaven. It was a Pfizer-4 lane going on, bro. Fauci working the toll booth. Getting the last dime out of you

Just to hit the turnpike. Was he working towards salvation? Michael Landon and I would have it? Like, was he saving people to getting God's good graces? Like, why was he? He's probationary. Yeah. I would like to know how that series ended.

Yeah, what was the last? I'd have gone to heaven. If he didn't, I mean, it would have been a huge letdown, no? I mean, imagine he just, imagine they just left it open. Like, they didn't, they don't even tell us. Yeah, let's go to the ending of it. The series Highway to Heaven did not have a planned definitive series finale as it was canceled due to low rating. Oh, shit.

Wow. So they didn't. That's always a bummer when you invest in a show and then it just stops and you're like, that's, that's, that's hard. Or when the whole nation invests in a show too and it ends like lost, lost killed. Lost probably, I think there's people that died because loss wasn't, it didn't do anything. Yeah, there had to be some type of butterfly effect. What's that? It was their hope.

I'm going to keep watching this and it's going to get somewhere. I was me. That was me. You watched loss? And at one point, I thought Lost was the greatest show I had ever seen in my life.

And then the last two or three seasons, it was like maddening. Yeah. That broke a lot of people. It's too convoluted. Oh, people divorces. That broke, people don't realize,

you don't realize that if you invest that much with somebody into something and if that thing falls apart, you might, you can fall apart. You can unravel. Your whole life can unravel. Yeah.

It doesn't take much these days. Yeah. It doesn't. Everyone's right there. All it takes is like just the creators of laws is stringing us along, telling us the whole time they have exact intentions when they fucking don't. And it comes out later. I don't know if anyone's ever taking them to task for that.

I'll tell you another thing. I saw the finale. I couldn't tell you what I can't explain to you right now. Yeah. Yeah, you can't even explain the ending. You did all that. You couldn't explain the ending to us. Evangeline Lily.

God bless her, really. She's doing fine, I'm sure. Yeah, she's like, she's like an ant man right she's like aunt woman oh she is I think so I didn't know yeah that show was so good dude the flashbacks the flash sideways

flashed forwards flash sideways they started flashing sideways I'm like what is that I've never seen a flash sideways before lost yeah yeah how do you flash sideways they did it god yeah I did it I like the flash sideways today I like to flash sideways today

yeah you're doing uh you said you're in town um you hit in the doctor you're on the you're hitting the medical circuit right now. Yeah, I'm in the medical circuit. My doctor lives at him. My boy from high school. Really? He's my primary. And it's your friend from high school? Yeah, it's my boy from, I've known

him since you were 13. Wow. Yeah, so shout out James Losh. James Losh. James Losh? Jay Lowe? So, I don't know if I want to go to my friend and let him, but I guess if it's your boy, you can trust him with anything. Yeah, that's where it started out of. Like, you can show him your body and whatever? No, I haven't shown him

my body, and that would be where I probably, that's, I understand what you're saying there. Right there is where I thought I would have to do it this week, showing my body, because we had a list of things to do. I got, like, what's called a Dexas scan, a CT angiogram. I got a blood draw for a full panel plus a cancer screening. I got an MRI today. I'm doing everything. And then it said in there, what is that?

It said in there. That's him, huh? That's me. Oh, it is? That's him. That's you again? He pulled them up in a tux at 18 years old. Dude, every time you hear, we bring up pictures of guys that I cannot even believe it's you, and it's you every time.

No. It said physical, so I was going to, at one point I was like, you don't have to like, you don't have to hold my sack or anything, do you? Yeah. But then I just let it go, and then he didn't say anything, and then it was fine. But do you think you're missing out on something that's important information or something? Just because you guys are, like, kind of shy or whatever? I was, I was wondering if, if in general, like, when was the last time you got a physical? A physical?

You have to do it for the movie or something like that maybe? Probably a... I mean, I wouldn't bet it probably wasn't too long ago, but I've gotten all the blood panels. I get them done all the time. Yeah, yeah. So I just don't know if that's antiquated, like them, like holding you and saying,

cough or drop your pair. I don't really hear people talk about that anymore. Yeah, hold them in, yeah, call your stepfather a queer or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's not. Yeah. It's not a medical turn. It's taken liberties.

Yeah, they're taking liberties, dude. You're like, I don't think... I was like, cough, but call my dad a queer? Trust me, just do it. It's like, yeah, it'll release some stress. You're like, okay. I don't know what they're looking for, but if he didn't touch my balls,

then I guess, like, he's not going to find anything there. Yeah. So, like, I guess that was an oversight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess what are they checking for when they hold your balls like a hernia? Well, I mean, look, I think it on behalf- I don't lift anything. On your, yeah.

I got a bad back. Doctor says I can't even lift my balls. Bro, let's check it right now. Yes, it is standard medical procedure for a doctor to hold the scrotum whilst asking a cough and check for it. And I get that, but that shit seems hella, it seemed like the Catholic church is involved in it a little bit. It has a little backslash of uncertainty. But what, how do we self-check our own balls? That's what I would look up.

Yeah, maybe a self-exam I could do. Because there's probably time, man, that we know how to do this just because there's a lot of times I'm sitting in a lobby or I'm chilling, you know? Yeah. And then you don't know what's going on down there. Well, it's like I might as well check it out. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we could check all the time. Yeah.

If we know what we're doing, we're checking without knowing, usually. Yeah, usually I'm feeling around my ball. I was like, oh, what is that? Don't touch that. There's like that part that's like, nah, nah, not. Yeah, this thing attached to the ball. It's like weird. Yeah, yeah, like, oh, that's the HVAC area.

His old wife. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not certified like, you know, in her bag. I don't really know anything in the bag. There's definitely, dude. Yeah, there's moments where you're like, oh, what is that? And then you're like, that's what gets scary, bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, that just feels like, and it's like, it feels like a, oh, that's just a skittal or something. I still won't go. I still won't go if I feel like I have a taste, like a rainbow in, like if I have a skittal in there or something, I would just be like, I would sooner Google it. There's something I just, I'm not really,

he would have had to probably take his balls out for me to feel comfortable. Oh, that's fair. Yeah. Dude, that should be something you guys do for this. show for like one of the things. Yeah, we'll do that. Get them into that center, you know? Yeah, I got my doctor in there and show his balls on our show.

It makes sense. Or just, you know, now with the doctor's got to, you know, get him to it, you know, I need you to hold your balls while you hold my balls. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And we sing a little bit of Bruno Mars, you know? Yeah, Bruno's good, man. Dude, I remind you, you had a story about Bruno. Remember, he went to his show you?

Yeah, yeah, he was dope. He was like, it was a bit back, but he was like bartending for us backstage. And then during his finale, he was like yelling out quotes from my show. Like in the middle of like, you make me feel like I'm locked out of hair. And he's just thoughts. And then there's pyrotechnics. And then he just started screaming out lines from the show. And I was like, I can't believe this.

I actually missed it. I was like with people. And like I didn't hear him say it. And they were freaking out. I think I might if I told this last time. But I was like, I remember like, four or five people. I was with my girl and and the guys. And they went nuts.

And I thought they were just going nuts for the song. And I was like, wow, they're really big fans. Like, they were, like, overhyped, you know? Obviously, they just heard him quoting us. So they were reacting like that. And I was like, this song was good, but, like, they're really into it. And they're like, a few minutes later. Like, I can't believe he, he's shout out.

And where were you? You was getting something. No, I was right there with him. But I didn't hear, like, there was fireworks going off. And I didn't hear it. And then I was like, and then they were like, I can't believe he was quoted you. I'm like, he quoted me. You didn't even know you were right there

Is this real? That's real You could pull off It looks like AI, right? That's real. You could pull off a hat like that? There's Bruno Mars. I could never pull off a hat like that.

Never. Joe and Sal came down to the show in Albany tonight. Albany. Oh, it's Albany. Albany. Albany, sorry. And if you ain't seen this show

in practical jokes, you're missing out. Apparently. Apparently. Apparently, MIR was there. Yeah, Mer got there late

and after it was over. He got stuck in traffic and he drove eight hours and missed it. I swear to God, dude. He drove, I'm not, I know, he might, honestly, I think he drove like 13 hours. I don't know why. I forget the circumstances surrounding it,

but he got there late and just missed the whole thing. Damn, dude. Yeah, I couldn't wear a hat like that. Yeah, I couldn't wear a hat like that. I wouldn't be able to do it good. So we don't forget this, because I do think it's important. What can we do to check out our nuts to make sure that we're okay?

What do we do, actually? Got this first. using both hands and I'll just cut my waist don't do me lower than the waist I'm gonna check while we're here I can't see it but I'll okay tell me maybe you give me a play by play

all right like what do you feel what are you feeling for right now? I don't know I think I feel like I'm in like the cottage cheese section right now well ultimately though what are you looking for are you looking for a hernia are you looking for a skittal

like what are you looking for cancer Oh, that's what we're doing? That's cancer when I do that? Yeah, I'm doing cancer screening. Yeah, I'm not going to waste my time to this feeling about nuts. You might as well screen for everything if you're feeling around.

Just do a full thing. Screen for everything. Dude, I can't do a full panel or whatever. You can do it? Can you tell the difference between a hernia and cancer? I know. I will say, like, it is weird with both hands on your balls while I'm talking to you.

I agree. Normally it would be. It's like when we first met. Well, if you would give me a second, I'm trying to see if I, if I have cancer or not. Okay. What is this, what is this, what is this, uh, animation though?

What is, why is it no sack? I don't know. That's Dixar, I think. Yeah. That was a cheap joke, but thank you for supporting it. No, it was good, man. Take me, just get it on the wording again one more time. Go back.

Perform a testicular self-exam monthly. Oh, God, dude. I am, I am 400 months behind schedule. Yeah. Ideally, during her after a, warm shower when a scrotum's relaxed yeah you know if you got that hard bag bro yeah you can't do it in like the winter yeah if you feel like it's like kind of like a feels like a bit of like a really ripe avocado you got to back off the sack yeah that's right using both hands gently roll each testicle

between your thumb and finger to check for hard lumps smooth bumps that's a unique term that's got to be an oxymor on smooth bumps how can you find that that's crazy yeah what's a smooth bump isn't by definition a bump not smooth hard lump Smooth bumps, Theo Vaughn's story. My journey through chemotherapy, or changes in size, shape, or consistency. What do they mean changes in size? Like, it's like a...

I guess if one's gotten really, like one sounds like it, like it's throats clogged or whatever. Oh, there's always one bigger than the other. Isn't there? Or is that breasts? Isn't that true? For balls and breasts, there's always one that's bigger? Yeah, I think that's true.

I'm gonna read this one part off and then we'll get to that. Hard P size. lumps are nodules, a new dull acre feeling of heaviness in the lower abdomen or groin. So that, I think, is more for hernia and then significant swelling or a sudden change in size. So I guess the good thing is if you do it repeatedly, you'll start to, that's the thing. You probably have to do it repeatedly so you get an idea. You catch it.

Yes, you have a baseline. You have a baseline. Because otherwise, if you just wander into your nuts with your hands or whatever, everything in there. Yeah, you don't know what's in there at all. Yeah. No, neither testicle nor breasts are always perfectly symmetrical. symmetrical one side is typically slightly

larger position differently in most people. Hmm. And the testicles usually hang at different levels that gives them also the illusion of seeming like they're a different size. It'd be funny if we didn't have a sack and they just hung. Like in that, like how the hand was holding the

two individual testicles. Oh yeah. Yeah, that would be weird. That'd be very weird. They'd just like hung like on a string, like on strings. Like just like cabangers. Like, yeah. Remember those spangers? Yeah, when we were little, like, it was like two balls on the strings, and you were like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and they were like,

they were like, psh, psh, pach, pish, pachers. Bring them up them, brayers, bro. Yeah, get those cabangers up there. You don't remember those? I never seen those in my life. What, bro? They still sell them now. Buddy, I promise you.

We're, man, dude, I'm so, I'm sorry, because, like, I had some really nice times with those. With them cabangas? Yeah, like, when you get, when you know what you're doing, you can see a video of somebody doing it. When you know what you're doing, it's a, it's a real treat. Oh, here's a video or commercial for him. Smitties.

Smitties has them. They're the original kerbangers and they're guaranteed safe for play and unbreakable so they'll never chip, feel, or shatter. Get the original kerbangers at Smitties and get set for some fast action. Oh, you knock your fucking tooth out. You knock your neighbor's nuts off at that. They were like little like nunchucks. Oh, I did used to wish that like your nuts had like a,

they were like secret hearing device or whatever. Like you could throw, roll one somewhere and it. a room and it would be able to hear what was going on. That's really good. Like a recon nut or whatever. Like a James Bond nut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.

Yeah. The sack is a good place to hide something. Oh, yeah. You know, if you can get like some type of surgery where you get like a, it's almost like a, you remember what they call roos, kangaroos, the sneaker? Ruse, yeah. Remember? Yeah.

And so the thing about kangaroos or ruse, I think of all, is every single sneaker had a, like, a hidden pocket on it. Oh, that's. That's right. That was fun of their thing. And they should bring those back. But that would be like you can do that with your pouch, like with the sack. And then you could hide stuff in there.

Yeah. Well, I bet you could get that modulated, bro. If you got your nuts modulated, bro. You could do that in a fucking heartbeat. Yeah, get you a little side, get you a little pouch almost or get like almost like a little fanny pack put on it. Yeah. They should make a little fanny pack that goes around your pants. That goes around your pants.

This is not a bad idea if we could find a safe mask. way to do it because you ever throw on like a pair of sweats and there's no pockets and you leave the house and you got no pockets when you have no pockets I feel like I might have to go back like I will not buy pants without a proper pocket like you know what I mean yeah well of course I know what you mean yeah and then and then and then and then and then and then but if you had a sack that held stuff like a pouch you feel like oh you wouldn't have to think about it yeah you could throw on any pants you want you could flippantly throw on pants before you leave the house not even think twice about it yeah that's true yeah if you're like oh I just yeah I got enough

room versus a couple of zans. Or you could put, like, your license in there, a key, key fob. I think putting your license in your nuts is crazy work, bro. Yeah, you're right. But the whole concept is, so you could have gave me it. It's just, you know, we're just trying. I mean, I don't think we're putting anything in there, really, but.

Well, here's the thing. If I don't have. If you're going to put a zin in there, two zins, I think you could put, I would, I would be careful putting two zins in there. That's the tobacco? Yeah, but you, you already took it to another level. Now you're going to get bowl cancer. You know what I'm doing is trying to have identification on.

Yeah, you're right, man. I'm really going to kind of like my separate way. Also, I didn't ever got that enhanced license for travel. So now, just in case, I always got to bring my passport with me to the airport. I'm always afraid I'm going to forget it at home and then it's going to be lights out because I can't get on a thing. So I would put my maybe my pad. You have to fold it up. It might be on console, but I would maybe permanently carry my passport in my sack.

But you can't, dude, think about this, though, Sal. I hear you and I love what you're saying. You're right. You're right. To fold your fucking passport up. It was stupid. Yeah. I know. It's too much. I couldn't do it.

It's not built to be folded. But here's what I do think is, yeah, if you had your nuts or whatever, yeah, if you could put two, I'm trying to give you a couple of zins and your nuts or whatever, a couple alps in there. You do zinning? I don't do it. I don't do it. But I think it would be crazy if they're like, yeah, we think you have like gum cancer and you know, like you'll get like tooth and gum cancer. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, somehow you got mouth. You got gingeritis of the balls. Somehow you got mouth cancering the nuts. Yeah, it's because I've been fucking zenning

through my magical nut pouch. But dude, the, no two nuts are the same. You know that? No two nuts are actually the same. They're like snowflakes. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool.

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No more caffeine. Ultra. You dance. No, dude, I will tell you this. My friend and I made me almost, probably like maybe 30 months ago or whatever. We went to the park and we saw and we watched the people do the Zalza dancing. Salza? Did you?

So good. That's what? 30 months ago you went to the park. Yeah. And once people salsa, and bro. And bro, we watched it. First,

we were like, whatever, bro, let's don't look too long because it's just me and him and we're not with anybody or whatever. But it was just, you mean like there was like a competition or like a dance party or something?

Yeah, just a dance party they had over there by the lake, it's over there by Centennial Park in, in Nashville. You can probably even look it up. And so, yeah, it was just like a lot of Latinos and a couple of like Indian guys

trying to pretend they were Mexican or whatever, like putting on like. Yeah, but they have their own really good dance routines, too. You ever see them? They go hard. Yeah. Like those, like, those, like, those routines where everyone's doing the same thing. They, there's a choreographed.

It's like, she's all that. You don't see, like, an Indian wedding? It's like, she's all that. Is it like that? I feel like the Indian weddings I've seen in passing on, like, YouTube or, like, in Instagram was like, and you see them dance. And, like, they all, like, know the exact thing. That's so cool.

That's my dream for, like, a dance to bust out and everyone does it together. Yeah. You know? Dude, that's a good, yeah, man. I went out dancing last night You went out dancing last night I felt like my mom in the 80s You're lying

I swear to you I went out dancing You felt like your mom I love to dance You wore a brooch No but I do love a brooch Me too I got my wife a brooch recently You did?

I swear to God yeah That's all I love it So broaches They're just wonderful I think they're like they're not And I don't know if they're really in style anymore but They're timeless

Broaches Yeah I think when you see someone The broach you think Well sometimes you think There's somebody passed when. There's like a little image of them in it. Right?

Sometimes like a lock. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. But sometimes it's just decorative. Yes. Yeah. You think this one,

they're almost like, it feels like a little bit of royalty, like neighborhood royalty. I like it. Yeah. It does feel like something like a, like a badge. Yes.

Yeah, right. That's what it is. Oh yeah. They got some great broches. There's a place here called, um, the five spot is a bar. And on Mondays,

they have Motown Mondays. And that's all I need to hear. Yeah. I love it. It was like all, it was like, music, Motown music. And we went last night. It was one of my friends' birthdays

who went, and I was like, I don't go out because, you know, at home I'm just working in the kids and stuff. So I was like, let's go, let's go. Dude, I danced for like a good couple hours last night. I don't remember the last time I did that. Probably I got a wedding or something, but I was like in the wild dancing. No way. Yeah.

Dude, that's so fun and everybody was just dancing. Everybody, yeah, the place wasn't that crowd and every last person there was dancing. Get down on it. They play stuff like that. Fuck. You're my cool in the gang? Yeah. Come on. I love it. It's hard. You get that.

That song comes on by calling the gang. I have to dance. Yeah. I don't know about you. So you don't dance. You know what? Here's your thing.

I just forget about it. You know, I think if I had a dance, like someone like, I wouldn't mind having a date and we go to the, um, square dancing.

There is a Tuesday night place here that does square dance. I don't think it's the American Legion or something. Where they teach out of square dance. My friend Chris just went last week. And I'm... Like line dancing like that? Yes.

Yeah. So I would like to learn that. Yeah. And then... That's a nice entry point. Yeah. Just a couple of two steps get you feeling like you're part of the group. Yes.

To get me out on the dance floor. I used to love to dance. Now, sometimes I think I feel a little bit like, sometimes I have some social anxiety about that shit. Sure. It's hard to dance now if people are like, yeah, you can't just let loose. Yeah, I'm honestly, I'm afraid. Yeah, somebody will video me and probably make fun of me, which is fair. I'm okay, I have to make fun of me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just doing it like, oh, like, there's some part of it I don't like. And I think it's just that, uh, I don't know, here's the thing. I don't want to see a video of how bad I'm dancing because I want to still believe in my head that I'm a good dancer. Sure, sure, sure.

That's what it is. So don't take that ability away from me by like using me to fucking just to burn me one. I would love to watch you sincerely dance. Okay. You know? Okay. You know, I would just love to see you like genuinely dancing.

Okay. And see what that looks like. Okay. You know, what your rhythm, is what your moves are like how you get down i think a lot of like that oh when the blues are come on bro i get out there and dance to the blues yeah yeah they used to have a place called tabby's blues box over there in downtown baton rouge bro and i'd get out there bro and they had a little bit of sliced ham or something over there on the side you know they'll look like they put out a little

like a little like a little like oh you can eat like type of thing or something it was like it wasn't all you could eat but it was like you can eat a little yeah yeah you know what i'm saying but they had like i had that food people would dance to the blues and eat ham yeah They had a dude sit and buy it, so you know you couldn't have that much. Oh, so it was like, he served it. He, like, you like, like, like, when you get up at a wedding at a buffet, like, and they slice it for you, like that? Oh, yeah.

Like that? No, no, no. The ham steak? No, this was just kind of regular ham. Like, like, deli ham? No, it was like a, it was like a few stairs up from deli ham. So somewhere between deli ham and a ham steak? Yeah, like neighborhood ham or whatever.

Or, like, ham that had been kind of trucked in. It had been flown in. Okay. But it had come on a truck. But how do they prepare it? Like what's on? Like a glaze? No, they just cooked.

I think they cooked it. Just cooked ham. Yeah. And then while the blues, yeah, while the blues was going on. And they had some crackers out there. They just had a little setup. But they had a dude, you could tell you couldn't have a lot because they had a dude sitting by it. Like they had, like, we're going to pay this dude to sit by it.

Yeah, because that's unfortunately what happens in society. You just have unchecked ham. It's going to be like a Black Friday situation. You know, you ever see when they give the tote bags at Trader Joe's, people just become animals. Yeah. You can't. Ham. People are already sad,

listening to the blues. You can't just put out ham. They're going to run for that. It's a comfort food. Oh, bro, yeah. It was one song was so sad. I hadn't had a mouth full of fucking ham. It's hard to cry when your mouth's full.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. You remember being a kid. You can't cry and chew. Yeah. You couldn't. Yeah, you can't cry and chew. You can't.

You can't cry and eat. It's a possible. It was a fat boy's dilemma, bro. You really can't, though. That's why you can't be sad and chubby, dude, because that's the, the limit that God sets you in like, you're going to be able to have as much little ham as you want, but you ain't going to be able to be sad about it.

Yeah. That's why people eat to stop crying. Oh, dude. Right. Yes. That should be written on our American flag. Think about something like with a huge hoagie hysterically crying and eating it. I've never seen it.

It's a, it's a visual I've never seen. People can't cry and eat at the same time. Yeah. All right? It's like sneezing and, uh, or it's like, uh. Yeah, right. Whatever it's called. Like sneezing and like wishing for, or what is it?

Something. Yeah. And I thought it was something with sneezing. It's like rubbing your belly and like. And chewing gum? Yeah. And pat on your head. Flirting with your neighbor's wife or something.

Yeah. You can't do it all. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. It's like rubbing your head rubbing your belly. It's like rubbing your belly and checking your balls for cancer. Yeah.

Yeah. You cannot do the same. Yeah. Dude, thank you, bro. Oh, thank you for making me laugh today. I appreciate it. Of course, man. I appreciate it.

I want to ask you, so you, because your podcasting has changed recently, and I wanted to talk about this, I wanted to know why, because you had two podcasts, you had one that you got, you were doing with Chris DeStefano. Yes, hey babe. Hey, babe. And then you had your own. I had one with Joe De Rosa called Taste Buds. And Joe DeRosa called Taste Buds. And Joe moved to Austin. Yes, he did.

So that kind of brought that one to an end. Yeah, and Chris moved up like state or whatever. Oh, he's living up state? Yeah, but I'm telling you, because when we put these on hiatus, we said to the fans like they're just going on hiatus. It's been a couple of years now, but people think we lied. We had no intentions to bring them both back.

No joke. Like I talked to both of them, both of them recently. Chris texted me two days ago and said, you want to do like a short run of them just to put it back out there? And I'm like, yeah. And I talked to Joe,

he said the same. So we really are going to bring it back. But I got a new talk show like pod coming out called Minouche, which is like short for minutia. And it's like big guess, small talk. But it's like, it's like, absurd. It's like

it goes in and out of conversation and sketch comedy. It's like something just completely different. Huh. Yeah, like it's off the wall. It's really fun. I shot like 10 episodes so far. You already did. Yeah, I shot 10. I'm going to do them by seasons, like 10 episodes seasons. So I'm going to release it like probably sometime in May and then kick it off. It's been so much fun. You got to, I talk to you about you got to come on. Yeah, I'm going to come in. I'm going to come through, you know, New York.

I'm going to come and do one. Please, I would love to have you. We'll have a lot of fun. I'd love to be on there. It's really different. Like it's not this, you know, Well, yeah, that's what I'm curious about. So, like, yeah, because you're saying, like, it also involves improv. So, like, how does that kind of look or a little bit of, like, we're, like... It's, like, nothing to is, that we do and say is to be taken seriously. It's all just... We're doing schick the whole time, and we're, like, we're in on the joke, and it's like...

But it's edited really fun. It's, like, edited in, like, little chunks, and it's, like, to look like it's on an old VHS tape. It's, like, it's really... I don't know. It's just something I just made up, like, a couple years ago when we went on hiatus. I'm like, I want to do something completely, like, solo that has like a really specific sensibility to it.

So it doesn't, I mean, this isn't a great pitch it doesn't sound funny, but it's really, it actually is funny. I'm super excited to see it. You do a lot, I mean, those are your wheelhouses, you know, comedy and improv. And so to have some of that together, I think it definitely makes sense. How was, I mean, it sounds cool. If you talked about this enough, no problem, but like, how was

your experience filming the movie and stuff? Did you guys improvise a lot on that? Um, I think I didn't know exactly what was going on, to be honest with you. Like, bro, until the day we showed up there on set. It could be nerve-wracking, right? I thought it was all emails. So the day we showed up on set, I was like, no way. Everybody was being real serious about this, you know? And it was a real movie. There's like people walking around. There's like one guy just looking for something. Yeah. You know, there's like some guys like dressing somebody up like in a, you know, an outfit or whatever.

You know, it's like we need. You had the full trailer like all that shit. Oh, everything. It's like electrical lines. It's like, don't, you know. And people are like, you funded it too. Like you guys made it yourself. wrote it and funded it and everything. So isn't that like, how like nerve wracking was that? To like be like, all right, whether we're going to, this is going to do well, going to get an investment back. But even the fact that you've never done that before and then to walk in on a production

that, like that size and then be at the like the person running it basically. That's a good question, dude. I think honestly, like I kind of struggled with like that, you know, I want to be in like, you know, I'm very particular about what I put out in a way. Like I just, I wanted to try. and be true to myself, however. Right. And it wasn't like bad or anything.

It was just different, right? And I had, and I, and going back, I wish, in some places I wish I would have spoke up more. And in some places, I wish I would have spoke up less. It's going to be a learning experience. We made the one movie and it was a learning experience for me. Like, I didn't like a lot. There's a lot of things I would change after one. But did a lot of people go see your movie?

Yeah. Yeah, it was out when COVID hit. We were in theaters when the world shut down. So we were expanding because, like, we were doing that. We had a great per theater average. So they didn't give us a wide, wide rollout. but we were the highest per theater average so it kept expanding week over week

so we were heading into our fifth week they were gonna give us like a few more weeks and then they shut down yeah it's kind of enough but yeah I don't have a ton of ego in it I think it was awesome I learned so much Did you have nerves like every day or did they go away? No I just

because I would just be like Did I have nerves? For sure some scenes I did Some scenes I just got to be David's I'm like the ball I'm like, say if somebody's bouncing a ball off a wall, I'm kind of the wall, right? Sure, sure.

And then it kind of, over time, it changed a little bit where I'm like, sometimes I'm catching the ball and throw it back. Yeah. So I think it was just moments of confidence when my confidence would feel okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And learning as I went.

But, I mean, I'd take an act class over the years. I've done a lot of practice scenes and shit, but in the end, you just want to have fun with your buddy and you want to come up with what's funny. So we'd be sitting there improv and a lot, like throwing ideas. It'd just be like, we'll try this one. And then sometimes you want to hold up.

hold your idea because you don't want to tell them because you want to say it in real time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's actually funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But looking back, I think there's so many just little moments, like just seeing like Spade, like just trying to stay warm, because we had a day, like, we were supposed to shoot during the co,

during the fires, the shit fucking, you know. Oh, dude, yeah. Whoever it was, somebody that Spencer Pratt hates, tried to burn down the palisades, you know? And while all that shit was happening, you know, our movie was supposed to do. shoot, but once you've already paid and got shit locked in, you're kind of locked in. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

And so we, like, one day there was like 60 mile per hour winds and we didn't need wind in the movie or whatever. Right, right, right. You have to, it has to be in it. We can't afford a redo. Right, right, right. You know, it's like, yeah, this day costs. 60 mile out of it.

It's a 60 mile. You just seen of you guys, like, in the park and there's a tornado for no reason. Like, do you, do you make mention of it in the movie or is it just like whipping winds? Oh, there's just whipping winds. This one day at this gas. station. The guy, Stevie Januski, Steve Little, he's from Eastbound and Down. Oh, God, dude.

He is the funniest guy. He is. I mean, that character, the outtakes from Eastbound and Down are the, I think, probably the greatest thing ever on recording. You worked with him? How is he in real life? Oh, dude. I mean, it's literally like the nicest guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so funny. It's all, like, for somebody that has such an effect, like, being funny, it's almost like He doesn't want to have too much of an effect in any other way. Not an... He just, he's a gentle guy. That's what I mean. Okay.

He's a gentle guy. He doesn't... He's not trying to stir the pot or anything. Sure. But you fucking put him right there in the middle of the porridge and cut those lights on. And dang. It's... He had you laughing inside.

It's a beautiful soup. Yeah. That's awesome. So, yeah, just little things like that, I think. And looking back and, like... So the fires delayed you? No. We just had to, like, move a little.

little bit over this hill, you know, and we'll probably be safe over this hill or whatever. And I'm like, that sounds. Oh, it was like during him? Yeah. Yeah. That's, oh, yeah, it was during them. Oh, my God, dude. No, when you're like, it's, like, it's, shit was spreading across town.

Like, yeah, there'd be times you'd be going across. Yeah, and you'd see just. Oh, my God. You'd see a bird fly by and he was on fire. Whatever. Yeah. Stop, bro. He's like, I got to get somewhere.

You know, he's like, my wife's pissed or whatever. You're like, all right, just do it. But yeah, I didn't even think to say that Yeah, the fires were going on So there'd be days you're driving home And shit's just on fire everywhere That's messed up It was crazy

We had to have the executive produced This show that started That came out this week actually It's called foul play With Anthony Davis, AD NBA player Oh yeah He played it for the Pelicans He played in New Orleans

He's in the I think he's on Dallas now I got traded from the Lakers Oh they traded him? Yeah I think so But so he has his show. It's like a punkth almost, right? It started last week. We had to pull a, we had to pull a bit from the first episode, 16 episodes.

It just, and it rated, it just aired. It rated like the highest new series on TBS in like years. So we had this thing where Floyd Mayweather was the guest. And he was helping us do this, like, prank on this person. So this family lost their house in a fire. This was before the fires. Okay. Family, like the setup was that this family.

lost their house in a fire and Floyd Mayweather held this charity barbecue for them to get like with the community to get like their belongings back so people brought them like gifts and stuff. That's beautiful. So they got all their like their housewares and front things back and like people are donating this stuff at the barbecue at the charity barbecue and then they all their stuff catches fire from the barbecue and burns again. So like they just lost their home. I feel like I almost saw this, dude.

It was the funniest thing ever. And Floyd made where there's in on it. But then when the fires happened, we're like, we can't put this in. It's like, it's too insensitive. So they pulled it. But it was like, it was supposed to be in the first episode. It was really funny.

And Draymond Green was there? Yeah, he was in another one. He's always fighting. He's always hitting white dudes all the time. Is he? I don't know. He used to be anyway. He might have gotten healed or whatever.

Might have gotten saved. Yeah, I haven't heard much about him hitting. Hitting whites or off whites or whatever. You know, he's hitting like mixed dudes. It was like it was like mixed and down, you know? It just seemed like a lot of times he wouldn't crack like a real solid black dude. I will say that, bro. And respect him, he's a champion.

And he whooped my ass, but he definitely punched mixed and down, I think. But dude, that's so cool. What's Anthony Davis like? Does he have a big personality? Yeah, he's dope. He's really fun. The reason we end up doing this. because he was a guest on our show,

and we did a bunch of stuff with them. And then he was like, I love this. He's like, I love this more than basketball. He's like, this is what I really want to do. What? He's what I, this is what, this is where I really wish I could do. And we're like, why don't we develop something together? And then we did and got picked up.

Fowl play? Fowl play. That's awesome. So people can watch this on TBS? Yeah, it's on every week now. Dude, that's great, bro. Yeah. I'll share something about it as soon as our show's over.

Yeah, yeah. Dude. And I told you, we got, I started. filming jokers again in two days season 13. Crazy. So, Mnuches is the podcast. Yeah, yeah. Podcasts improv show. I think it's like a talk show. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's a talk show and that's just gonna be on YouTube?

Yeah. Well, we're gonna pitch it. We're gonna, you know, try to sell it, but you know... YouTube's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing YouTube. And you should be like just on YouTube, but now you're like, if it's better be on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Dude, yeah, that's great. You're staying so busy. Do you feel kind of overwhelmed? Yeah. Yeah. I haven't... I had another kid since I saw you last.

Dude, remember last time, dude? Yeah, man. Yeah. You know, I did, I get talked to so much about my appearance on here last time and the clip of me talking about my daughter. Oh, yeah. It was like, it. Let's play it.

I want to see it. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to feel something today. How about this? If you remember, I hadn't spoken about anything in public prior to this. Your show now is like, it's like news, is the news media now. Like, this is, you know, this is literally. guys trying to decide if they have testicular.

Yeah, but it is, dude. And I'm like, all right. So I was like, let's, you know, I talked about on my own terms with you. I felt comfortable. I'm like, you know, you were like, you take it out if you want to like, just leave it. Just put it out and I'm happy. And ever since then, it's been like a new thing for me because like it's out in the open now. Now my new hour that I'm torn with.

Like I talk about my family, my kids. I never did that before. Take me through some of that. We honestly just talk like, honestly, Sally, like, just tell me like, yeah, because I think there's like, there's probably parts in all of her laws where we're afraid to talk about something. Yeah. are afraid to talk about it,

and then it ends up being different on the other side because, yeah, I think you are, uh, yeah, let's just say, we'll take a peek at it really quick. We can always take this out. Inexpressible, pure, happiness and joy that you feel like you are. I love the music in the background. I don't know what.

It's overwhelming. You cannot process it. You can't believe it. Damn, I'm crying. That's good. That's good, man. Why do they put the music? Like, that was a little morose, too.

It was. It felt like, yeah. It felt like the beginning of Castlevania. Remember that game? Yeah, that's the music. Yeah, like,

come on, this guy's like on the one two player screen. It's like, yeah, in the beginning. With the whip, the guy is the whip. That was a gay player,

dude. Yeah. That's like when a gay guy kind of gets trapped and like, like, and fuck it out of Halloween party in New Jersey, dude.

That's what Castlevania was because it's just this dude just running around with a whip. That wasn't like the, like, the most, popular clip. What happened was a lot of parenting

like accounts like Instagram accounts and then they picked that up and inspirational accounts. And it was a different clip and that it just went like so so viral and then because your show is like so big like us weekly and did they really? All those people and all that stuff

picked up. It's like Sal, secret wedding and it's like well it wasn't really a secret I just like tell you guys I got married. It was like a secret wedding. But that's kind of hot though. That kind of makes a kind of hot for you and Francesca that it's just like, oh, it's a secret wedding. That had some allure to it. Oh, and practical

Joker star, Sal reveals he secretly got married and has a baby daughter, bro, that makes you sound like a fucking rapper. Bro, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But dude, yeah. I should have a boy now, too. No. Yeah, the best, dude. It's the best.

Is he? Yeah, he's so dope. He's awesome, man. What's his name? Yeah. Bro, if it would have been any other name, I would not have been excited. Dude, that's so cool, man. Yeah, yeah.

But did it feel like, I want to hear about him? Well, yeah, tell me what do you love about what? It's something that's just like... You know, so cool, it's like... So I went through everything with my daughter, and then, like, she's like three and a half now. He's about 16 months, and, like, you... It goes so fast.

It's so nice to get to do it over again. Because those moments when they're that young are so fleeting. They change. They're growing so fast. Like it's a new thing all the time. And it goes lightning fast. And you try the best you can to savor it. But it's like it goes so fast.

So then to just start from scratch again. And then like the first time, it's all first for you and the kid. Right. So it's like you're processing all this stuff. And then so the second time you have like a, you have this foundation and an idea and you know what to look for already. So you can kind of experience it. in a different way.

You just experience it like a little bit more. You're able to really absorb it because it's not like a deer in the headlights. Oh, I see. And so it's like you're playing hot potato the whole time. Yeah, exactly. And it's like you just, and you just, it's just really nice to,

those stages are the ones that, you know, parents are always like, oh, if I could have my kids back at that age again, you know? So it was nice to get like a double dip in there. That's cool. And just watch them grow, like, interact and watch their relationship together build. Like the kids, there's nothing, that that's the, when they're like sitting on the couch together,

leaning on each other, just eating fruit, you know, like, and he'll just crawl up on the couch and put his head on her shoulder while she's just, like, eating suffering. And they just sit there, like, and then you walk into the room and you see them just cuddling each other or whatever. It's like, come on, man, there's like literally nothing close to this. Oh, that's so cute. I get right in between them, you know, they get them, you know, it just. The best thing I could do is just have my kids in my lap just holding them, you know,

like just watching like just yes i know it's i bet it's almost like as you almost i bet can't i bet you i bet you almost feels like you can't even let them know how much you love them it's impossible it's impossible that's kind of a crazy thing if you think about it that there's something inside of us even just as humans right where you i couldn't even let you know how much i love you if if i had like it's impossible for me too it's it's impossible i don't know how to express it yeah and do you feel like that's probably a feeling for most parents It has to be. I think it's an innate feeling.

Right. So, and I'm not trying to go to it, but I forget sometimes if I don't share what I'm feeling. Sure, but. So that to me just shows us

how powerful love must be. If we can't even, if like as human beings, it just as like citizens in the world, we can't even, if like the love that you would have for your child, you can't even express.

It can't be expressed. It can't even expressed. Although nothing will do it justice. There's no way to like actually encapsulate it. It's pretty powerful because the other things, things you can express. A lot of other feelings like anger, hatred, you know, like, um, affection or like, um, look up some other feelings. Sorry.

Would you stop short of three? You're like happy, mad. What else? Um, confused, cranky. I mean, all these other things. But this is so, you know, so you, I mean to cut you off. No, no, go on. You come me off. But you get what I'm saying, though? Isn't it? It's crazy. that we can't even, that it's love is such a powerful thing. It's bigger than us, even as humans, because we're not able to convent, you know what I'm saying?

We can't do it justice. That is pinging in my heart at all times. Like, you know, when you're like, your heart melts? You're not feeling like sometimes just in a moment you see something or like whatever, and you're like, your heart like melts a little bit. So what this is like is that, like, the melting feeling is constant. Oh. Yeah, yeah.

So, like, just fully, it doesn't stop. I want to mop. Yeah, yeah. Dude, it just doesn't stop. It's like continually melting the whole time. If they're, you know, I talked about something,

they're in, if they're even in the room with me, just something changes, you know, that's it. It's just, it's awesome. It's wow.

But, um, yeah, I remember you saying that, dude. Yeah, it was just, that was awesome to hear about it. And they're so,

it's so cute to see them like, like, see those, uh, you just had up those, those color-coded things. Uh-huh. So my daughter, she goes to,

like, occupational therapy and she, to learn about, like, to prod a process her this stuff and her feelings that they teach her this stuff. And so she knows all these, these color-coded emotions. So when she comes home and she's having like a, because they're going to, you know, they're going to have these, like, these, it's inevitable for them to, like, when they grow up to have these, like, you know, their tantrums and this. They have to work through all this.

It's not like you have a bad kid if they act out. Like, they're going to be crazy at two and three years old. Right. Because they're learned, all these feelings are still are getting baked in them. Their brains getting developed and they don't know how to, you know. It's like the first time you get on a lime scooter. You're like, you're just fucking taking that bitch for us. That was like the first time I got on one.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like I didn't know what was going on. Yeah. But she'll tell me like if she's like upset. She'd be like, dad, I'm in the blue zone right now. They call the blue zone. She's like, dad, I'm in the blue zone right now.

And I'm like, you're upset. She's like, yeah, I'm sad. I'm in the blue zone. She's like, I need to get to the green zone. Like this is how she speaks to me. I'm like, let's do it. what do you need to get into that green zone? Let's do it.

She's dope, man. They're like my little best friends. Dude, that's so cool, though, also for a kid, even just to be able to like, well, just have a, instead of just having a feeling, have a thought about a feeling, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what it's, so it just adds so much more to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's unreal. You're not just a victim of how you feel. There's a little bit more like, okay, well, let me reckon. Like, they start thinking in a way that's just not just basic. It's like, think about, like, at the end of the day, when she goes to bed, always discussed the day. So we talk about like I'll sing our song and in the song I with the song I sing her every night I made I made it up myself just naturally came out, you know? And then I started adding

verses to it and now I sing this whole song. And the song, the whole point about the song is I love you I love you. I love you so much. You'll never know how much I love you. Like that's literally what it is. But then we talk about the day and and then I'll say like, you know, what were you most proud of today? So like she's three, but to get her thinking like that, like not just like would you do today, but what were you the most proud of today? It positions her mind to think that way and then, like, build our confidence of it. This stuff, like, there's so much parenting stuff and psychology,

child psychology, it's fascinating. And it's like, you know, it's the most important job you'll ever have, you know. Yeah. So I like take it, like, you know, it's, it's, it's great to, it's hard, but it's like, it's really fun to raise a, to raise a human being. It's like, it's so, it's an honor, you know, like, it's a real honor. Dude, that's pretty cool to be able to think about, think about, like that. Yeah. I'm here to tell you about a social app or atmosphere or website.

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so you can just focus on your time with your therapist and your therapy goals. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com. That's better h-E-L-P.com slash theo. Betterhelp.com slash theo. And do they ever, like, if they get in trouble, like, give me a punishment, dad.

Like, do they ever make you give them, like, something that's just like, like, send me out into traffic or something. Put a earpiece of my ear. We don't do punishments yet. Yeah. No, no, it's more about just managing, you know, just managing their behavior.

But it's like, yeah. Yeah, they just punish them. Yeah, what was it But what was it like So after you kind of shared that you had a family You kind of had that your family was growing, right? And sometimes, you know, I know you had said like And it's not always everybody

You want to keep certain things That it's just your own life, right? Yeah, I stop. I mean, I'm private. I was always private. So once you give it away. Did it feel different? It felt like a weight lifted.

It did? It did. And has it been a positive thing? Or do you, or just like, Yeah, has it been like, okay? Does it feel? Because trying to also protect everything all the time, is also kind of, it's a lot of stress.

That took a lot. It took a lot to keep things to myself and not, you know, like, not let things get out. And when I'm out in public with them, you know, like, because everyone has a camera now and everything is that you always got this to like bird, like a worry, you know? Because I want to, I won't ever post my kids online.

Like, I want to shield them from that. But just, it's just about protecting them. But people would chill with it. And like now that it's out there, it's like, it feels like I could just freely talk about it feels good. Yeah. It feels good. It was like, you know, I'm glad I did it.

Yeah. What was one of the tough experiences that you had with your first child? Was there like a time that would like, you know, because like the other day, my buddy Kevin and his wife, they like, I think maybe their kid like ate like a thing a little bit of guacamole or something. And what happens? He's allergic? I think his ears like swole up or whatever.

That's scary shit. And they're like, shit. He's allergic to like Mexican shit or whatever, you know. So that's like. No, you never know. But you don't want to run your. get into the hospital and sound racist, like, hey, I think he's allergic to, like, Mexican flavors.

Mexican flavors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. Awakates, though. Yeah, yeah, I don't think that anyone would take it as, like, you know, a slight against any Mexican people. The people are trying to look for an edge all the time. They are, yeah. And I think they...

But I would be sure to specify. Yeah, me too. I'd be like that's out of... It's the ingredients. Yeah, yeah. They happen to be all Mexican cuisine, but I don't know what that is. Yeah, they happen to use it best. Yeah.

But, yeah, and I think these have been bought from, like, maybe a Latin Venda. It could have been a Puerto Rican guy. Who knows? It could have been, yeah. That's the craziest thing, though. Like when they,

but if they get hurt or something like that. So they ran to me. Yeah, so, but they're like, they don't know what's going on. You're like, you know, Max,

he's just swollen up. You know, he's allergic to watching La Bomb or whatever. I'm like, I don't think that's the problem. Would you balance? But anyway, yeah. But anyway,

what I'm saying is, sorry, what is wrong with me? Why can I say what I'm saying? What I'm saying is that it threw my buddy for like a, it was crazy. You know, I saw him like it was like he was so freaked out.

Dude, I, like sometimes they'll fall, like hit their mouth and start bleeding or something. You see, when you see blood on your kid, it's like, and you have to be like so chill. You have to dictate the tone so they don't, you know, they understand. Yeah, I mean, that's the best way to do it to keep them even tempered and like they're going to reflect your energy. And they're going to react the way you teach them to react to something. So you always got to try and play it even keeled and like not make a big thing of stuff like that. so that they're able to handle those situations themselves better, you know? But it is nuts, dude.

Like, one time I was like, you're trying to cut my son's nails. Like, you know, you got to clip that, like, and like, they don't, kids, they don't stay still. And, dude, I clipped a little piece of the end of his finger. Like, and he started just bleeding everywhere. Dude, I almost, I didn't know what I was going to do myself after that. I was like so, I was, and then one time he walked. What Van Gogh did do his brother. He did?

Yeah. He clipped over his got. I think he might have cut his ear off or something. Never mind. No, Van Gogh cut his own ear off, but I didn't know he clipped anything on his brother. So maybe everyone in the family was missing something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, did you know Pablo Picasso died like a couple of years ago? Bro, did you see that clip? Yeah, I did. Was it? Gary Viator was with me this week. It was. Oh, it was Veter? Okay.

I was talking with him. He's the one who told me, yeah, we were talking in the car, actually. He's like, dude, yeah. Bring it up. Let's bring it up. I mean, it was 50 years ago. But, like, I thought Picasso was, like, from the 18. And he told me, we're in the car.

He's like, do you know this? And I was like, no, he's like, dude, he was, he was like alive when we were born. Yeah. I think one of the part of it is, did you know that Picasso probably ate at Outback Steakhouse? You're like, that's insane. Right, right, right. I never put that together. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. So Joe List. Sorry, sorry, my bad. You guys know this? Pablo Picasso. You know what he died? He died in 1973. Did you know that?

I thought he died in 1380. I almost shit. 1973. Picasso had a car. Is that unbelievable? Pablo Picasso was driving around Spain in like a Honda Civic listening to Black Sabbath on the radio.

That's crazy. Ozzy Osbourne and Pablo Picasso were working at the same time. He saw six Super Bowls. I thought he looked like Oh, List is the best. That's good. Yeah, dude, he's so great.

He was in a great movie that Louis made too, man. Yes. Shout up Joe List. That movie was great. They did a good job. Such talented guys. That was a great bit. I got something.

So I want to try and find these people. Maybe this can, you know, saying that here can help me. All right. I got a story for you. Yeah. So this last night, we talked about this last night, just came out. It was a story that I, I forgot about and I'm like I'll talk to Theo about it maybe I could get so in

1995 I was at the Salvation Army with my buddy Joe and we found a VHS cassette right and it was like a home a home one not like a movie like you buy like a you know a home like a blank okay I had a label on it and it said uh Amy and Stu Shankman's wedding and it was I'm gonna maybe get the exact but let's say it said like November 25th, 1995. It said, I'm sorry, it said November 25th, 1985, okay, right? It said, Stu and Amy Shankman's wedding,

November 25th, 1985. That day that we picked it up was November 25th, 1995. So I found this blank cassette of this people's wedding on their 10-year anniversary. Now, back then you got, if you had your wedding taped on VHS, that's where it was. That's it, like that was the copy.

Yeah. And this was handwritten. So it's like, I think they accidentally got rid of the, like, they don't have their wedding video. Right. So Amy and Stu Schengen do not have their wedding video. Right. And I, and we picked it up on the exact, we were like, holy shit. 50 cents, we bought it.

We went home and watched their whole wedding, right? It's amazing. It's a wedding from 1985. It's a, it's a Jewish wedding from 1985. The best man, this little, little short guy, Yamika, he does a, he does his, in his best man speech, he raps. Yeah. I swear to God. And I'll know, I mean, at this point, I've watched it.

Was it Beastie Boys? He was rap? Dozens of times. No, he raps his own rap. Oh. And this is the part. This is, I'll never, I know it because I watch it. He's like, he's jumping up and down.

And he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. We're going to party tonight. We're going to jump up and down. It's never going to end. This was the rap. So it's an amazing wedding. I swear to God, it's an amazing wedding. And I watch it over the years.

I've had people over we put it on. I watch it, this, this and that. About maybe five years after that, I met my friend Joe, we're in a gas station. He's getting gas in his car. And he's like, Sal. And I'm like, what? He goes, look at that car right there.

And there's a car that's like pulling out of the gas station. He's like, look, look, look, in the car. Who do you think that is? And I look. And I go, is that fucking Stu Shankman? No. I don't know this guy from a hole in the wall. He's like, I think it's Stu Shankman.

So I'm like, oh, shit. And he pulled out. And my friend had to finish paying the gas. And we jumped in the car, peeled out, Oh. Okay. So fast forward. I hate losing people. I hate, especially in a chase. Uh, so then, uh, I never gave, I, I, I have this wedding video. I still have it. Do you have a piece of their life. You have a piece of one of the greatest moments of their life. Yeah, right? So, so about two years ago, I'm like, we got to find these people. Searching for Stu Shankman. Yes. And we got, we got to see if,

like, what's up? I got to get them this video. So my friend found his brother. or something on Facebook and confirmed. We were like, who knows if they're dead, if they're still together, what's going on? So he reached out, he said that, told them we got at a thrift store, we found their wedding video in 1995. Like, I've had, I've had their wedding video

for 31 years. Oh. I have it. For 31 years, I've had their wedding video. They've been married. This will be their 41st anniversary this year. Their brother's like, they're still alive and together. I swear to God, he's like, this is insane.

You got to, like, yeah. So I'll let's broker this. Yeah. So I had the idea a couple of years ago when I was developing a TV show. And so this was an idea for one episode of this TV show where I like do things like this. And so that's when we decide to reach out. Anyway, I didn't finish developing the show and I kind of forgot about him. And I thought of it last night and I brought it up and I was like, oh shit, in this brother's eyes, we contacted him.

We're like, yo, we have their wedding video and we want to get it to you. And then we went radio silent again. And he's like, why do these people do this to me and my family? So I'm like, I got to, I got to remember. I got to, I got to find them and I want to get into the video. So I feel like if, if anyone knows, I think they were originally from Staten Island. And so Stu and Amy Shankman, and I have your wedding video for the last 31 years. And I want to give it to you.

I did digitize a copy of it for myself. Because when I thought I was going to give it back, I was like, I won't share it with anyone. but I know it's also a piece of me now It's fine this fee Yeah yeah exactly You know So I have it so Yeah we gotta find

You gotta search him for the shankmans dude Because there's something special about that I know I used to know a guy named Alex Shankman I knew a couple shankman Oh I know a shankman too actually There was an agent I knew I think it was I actually know a shankman I know I don't think they're related

But I know you just remind me I think he's like a choreographer Yeah there's a lot of shankman Is there a famous Shankman choreographer? Especially in Hollywood. Adam Shankman. Adam Shankman. I didn't know Adam. I just realized for the first time. I know a Shankman.

The Shankman. Hey, you know a Shankman? Yeah. Dude, that's wild. So I hope I find him. Well, I hope that you find him also. Stu and Amy. The guy's been holding your loving, you know,

the guy's been watching you're one of the greatest moments of your life in his spare time on the elbow. train or whatever. That's right, yeah. Dude, do you think, there's really something could be a cool show out there to make or create, people say this shit all the time, but, um, of like something about finding old things on VHS and then. Yeah, like found footage. Yeah, dude, I worked with this one comedian.

There had been like one of those Nigerian scams that had happened to his grandmother and they'd taken a lot of her money, right? You know, those things that email you. Yeah, the prince's, like I'm trapped in a petting zoo in Nigeria or something. They won't let me out or whatever. Send the money. So to get him back, he started doing these things where he would send them videos of things. And he said, I need you to do reenactments of this.

And then I'll pay you for it. But instead, he would just have them do the reenactment. And then he would just post a video online, right? No. But the best part was what he would send him was he would send him scenes from Seinfeld, right? So he would send scenes from Seinfeld to like some people in Africa, like, just a random village. And they would reenact the scenes. No.

Yeah. And he had all these amazing... You gotta be kidding me. He had all these amazing video clips, dude. Oh my God. Of an African village reenacting like, master of my domain? Yes.

Or the parking one. Like, they had all these different ones that he was reenacted. It was pretty great, dude. And so eventually it healed him. He's like, okay, at a certain point, we're kind of even, you know? But dude, because comedians

can hold some grudges over the years. But yeah, I've always been a little bit of a collector. You find something you save it. You're like, maybe I'm supposed to have this. You told me once I don't know if you're remember this dude told me one time. In hindsight now, I realized you were probably joking, but you were like, yeah, I have a marble notebook

with the name of every person I've ever slept with in it. Oh, damn, really? Yeah. And I'm like, get out of here. He's like, yeah. A marble notebook? You said you had a notebook. I mean, in my head, I projected it was like a mead.

Like a school notebook. You were like, yeah, and I've written it down my whole life. And I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. And you're like, no, I know I know the exact number of people I've slept with. Really? Yeah, yeah. So you will fuck with me, I'm sure.

I was always kind of a documentary of things. The number, and I remember the number you said. You do? Yeah, because it's really funny. Okay. It's really funny. This is the only part I can't believe that I would say something like this, but I want to hear it. You want to know what you told me?

I said, you said, I have every single name. I never miss the name. And I was like, you know the exact number you slept with you? He said, yeah. I'm like, how many he said, about 1,000, 50. Really? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm not good at it, but it was a thousand fifty.

And I was hysterical 11. That's insane. I was like, no one is. I mean, it's like Will Chamberlain. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's insane, dude. Yeah. I don't even know it was me, but I believe that I could have said this.

You told me this. Oh, I did? Good. Good. Oh, shit. I'm glad that at least I was. You don't have a, I mean, your real number is not anywhere close to that. That's crazy.

No, that's insane. Oh, dude. Yeah. I mean, I've always like. A thousand 50. you're, it's the perfect Theoam. It's really the perfect number to say to because

it's like to go over a thousand to be at 50. It's great. Yeah. It's great. A thousand and eight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I remember when I was growing up to head, this kid, his brother had slept with like 12 women or something. People were fucking losing their minds in our town.

Yeah, because we're cutting down trees and fucking tickling people they shouldn't touch and shit like that. That shit like that will affect you. Oh, dude. When you know, when you have like a, when you're of an age where no one's got that kind of number yet or maybe everyone's a virgin. Oh yeah. And one kid's like I've slept with 12 people. You're just like,

I got to, I got to know all about. Here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just, yeah, yeah, there's nothing. Yeah, then my life means nothing. You know, I'm working at Baskin Robbins or whatever. And some guys slept with 12 people. 12 people swat. I should be in Hades, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that shit was hectic, dude. Dude, I was the worst at sex. Let me see, let's look at a high activity lifestyle for a person averaging one new partner per week, it would take approximately 20 years to reach a thousand 50 partners. So, yeah, I lied.

I lied, bro. Dude, there was some years where I wouldn't even get involved in any sex. I was so fucking bad at it. You were bad at it. So you've come a long way? I've come a long way, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I think, well, for one...

Are you a generous lover, yeah? No. No, okay. I'm not, dude, I'm like that... For me, I realized this the other day. I'm in like this, I'm in a recovery meeting for everything. So I was in one the other day. And people talk about this kind of stuff a lot and like intimacy, disorder, shit like that.

Right. Like I'm out here. I'm basically like a crash test dummy. That's what I realized. Like other people are like living a life and I am basically a crash test dummy out here. Why do you feel that way? Just because it's like I feel like I'm never going to figure out some of these parts and I'm just going to be almost this like experiment that kind of happens, you know? Right.

Like I realized I thought of loving it was like a. it felt like an altercation it's like an altercation you get in it has the same energy of like a like a session like a intimate session yeah intimate session has like a sexual session has like a little bit of a battle yeah it's a fight not like physically like it's a fight right but just like the same amount of nervous energy that's in a fight sure sure sure that's the energy that I take into like a right right right so like if you if you see me if working up and I just keep kind of ducking or dodging or if I duck off into the corner and have some guy I barely know rubbed knee a sporn on my cheeks or whatever and put a thing of ice on the back of my neck

or whatever you have a corner man yeah just just know I'm doing the best that I can just just plugging your nose up yeah yeah yeah yeah some guy is fucking putting a cotton swab up my nose but dude yeah I just I always I had so much nervous energy around women bro yeah so that was crazy dude I love when they do like in a UFC fight or like a boxing match whatever when they cut to the corner right and it's like you know you and you hear everything that the the corner guy say and the trainer say it's always like wildly inappropriate yeah like fuck this motherfucker bro you're gonna fuck him up man this cunt and then he's like you stick him move but then you're like home watching a fight with like or you're somewhere and it's like you just don't expect to hear like this guy's a motherfucker bitch bro yeah you know his mother passed away two months ago huh i was like oh shit yeah like yeah like yeah yeah yeah he's like yeah yeah yeah You're learning shit. You're like, damn, you know, his cousin has asthma hit this little pussy. Yeah.

They said he'll be like, don't be a fucking pussy. I'm like, whoa. I know. Real in the corner. Yeah. But it's really just sounds like that's what makes anybody think they could be a corner. Also, some of those behaviors. Yeah, yeah.

I can say that. Because, yeah, it doesn't feel like there's a lot of real instruction coming out there. So yeah, sometimes you hear someone get really good pointers and then you go to the other corner and they're just like, all right, bro. And you're like, what is this guy doing? Yeah, they're saying nothing to the guy. I know. Yeah. That is pretty wild, dude.

Um, but yes, how in the miss, bro, some of that shit, I was like, you know, those fainting goats? Shit gets going too much and they just faint. Yeah, and they just go over. Yeah. That's me. Yeah, you hit like a thing. Oh, yeah. I hit like, like, uh, yeah, bro. You get stiff.

Yeah, yeah, bro. I hit it out. Yo, what does a, what sound does a goat make? Let me try it. Eh, eh, eh. They ain't the sheep, though? Uh-huh. Does a goat and the sheep make the same noise?

I think goats are more curious, so I think it's more like, No, let me try it. Really? No, that's more like a... But what does the sheep do then? So it's the same thing. No, sheep, that goats... Sheeps ba' ha.

Oh, yeah, sheep's ba'ah, ah, but then a goat is ba'ah. By. Am I crazy? I don't know the difference. Is it sheep a goat? Sheep's not a goat. A gay goat's just like, bad, girl. You know that stupid street joke

What does a gay horse eat? Hey It's so stupid Dude, some jokes like that They were the best, bro Getting to laugh is the best man That's the best thing, bro Getting to laugh

The fact, one thing I will say, bro, About certain moments are alive Like, I've just been grateful Like God has put me around people That just make me laugh Yeah, we are our friends are the funniest people in the world. It's crazy. It's crazy. It really is on stage. I always, sometimes I think about this. Like, I, I, I really in the moment on stage when I'm on stage,

and I like to laugh. And so, like, I laugh, you know, throughout my set a lot. And then sometimes I'm like, like, I don't think of it. It's just me being me. But like, then a lot of times I'm like, I don't want to laugh. Like, I don't want to be like, I'm laughing at my own stuff. But I really am in the moment having a good time. But I'm like, I don't want that to come us across as a crutch. So sometimes I'll be like, all right, today, consciously when you do, like, this hour, Do not laugh. Do not laugh. And just see how it plays. Like, don't laugh. Just like kind of keep, you know, and see how it plays differently with, you know, with the car. Like, do you, do you like, are you in the moment when you're on stage? Do you laugh at your own? Will you laugh and, like, just have fun in the moment? Are you like kind of like keep it like this persona of like, like, you know, because when you like tell your stories and stuff, you have a, like, you know, you have a certain energy and vibe the way you do it? Yeah. But you, do you ever like just get, like, do you think about that on stage? I do. So you like consciously don't won't laugh or like, will you just like laugh?

I'd like to laugh more. I used to think, like, especially when I was coming up in common, you hear about all these things that are kind of crutches. Some people write their notes, you're like, well, that's a crutch. And it's like, well, that's a crutch. Well, also, how about this? Somebody's getting up in front of you

and trying to make a room full of people laugh. Right. I don't care if they're on crutches, eight crutches. I don't care if there's one person in two wheelchairs. Right, right, right. Let them, if there's things that help them, I think, to me, I think it's okay. Yeah.

I don't like to laugh. I'm not doing it as a crisis. What I'm saying is like, I naturally laugh. Yeah. And so I have to fight my natural instinct. Don't ever fight your laugh. Your laugh is one that warms people. It's like, it's extra you, you know?

Sure, sure. And so that I think is a gift. And I think some of these people, they've gotten to know some of us in our lives. And they may be, they may feel happy that we're in a room laughing, you know? Sure. Just like they are. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I'm having a good time. Yeah. I say laugh, dude. I notice if, and I'll even be conscious of it. Sometimes I was like, oh, this sets is not going that great in the beginning. And sometimes we're like, dude, it's because you're not having fun. Yes, dude.

So let myself have fun. Yes. And let me be the person that's saying the jokes. Really, sometimes I'll try to almost transpose myself and pretend like I'm just sitting there laughing at the jokes. Right, right. And then just almost like, I don't know. Because the person I always wanted, I wanted to be the person sitting there laughing. But to me, I've always had like, you know, sometimes there's like a chip of my or some type of shit.

Right, right. up this, bang, that, bach, you know. And so I was always like, you know, or being judgment or whatever. So you end up on the other end of the thing. I'm going to be the guy who's being a part of making the laughter. But either way, I'm happy to be involved in the laughter.

And I think it's okay if you laugh with a crutch. Some people say it's a crutch, I don't. I find it, especially as I get older, fuck, if I get a chance to laugh. Yeah, but I think that's what I'm saying. Sorry, that was a lot of shit to say. No, I think it's just making the distinction of, like, I'm on stage having a good time.

Like, not with intent. Like, some people will laugh. I have 1,050s. Crazy, though, dude. That's a crazy thing to say. I thought about it ever since you told me. Did you really? I retain the knowledge.

Bro, you know how scary it would be if one woman came over to my house every week to hook up? That would fucking make me so paranoid. It sounded crazy to me when you said it. Bro, if I knew that every week some gal was coming over for sex, dude, I would fucking have to keep moving. It's off-putting. Yes, you're like, oh, my. It's too much. It's too much.

It's too much, man. Yeah, that's a lot hanging over your head, man. Every week. I get anxiety thinking about that. And hearing them peel off and disappointment, too. Hearing the gravel. They leave in a hurry. Yeah.

And you don't even have gravel. They're so pissed, they went and bought gravel and put it under their tires. I love that. Every time someone leaves your house, they have this like they peel out of here. Yeah, dude, bro. My fucking uncle, he was supposed to get gravel. He actually got a bunch of, like, fish on, whatever, that stuff that goes to the bottom of a... The pellets?

Yeah, fish, fish, whatever. Yeah. Like the fish. Coy? Yeah, not a shit that goes in a fish... Oh, oh, the fish is gravel. Fish tank gravel. Yeah, you got fish tank gravel, dude.

And his wife was so pissed, but it was irreturnable, bro. And, dude, they fought about that shit. But hearing people fight over, yeah, and your fucking fish gravel! You and your fucking fish gravel, James. Yeah. Just hearing shit like, hearing terms like that, you and your shitty little fish gravel. Yeah, yeah. Fighting over gravel.

Yeah, just just... Just like... Hearing any people fight over. over gravel just god that's the kind of shit that keeps me going I have I had a fish my niece you know when they have like the fair at school yes festival and they give the those fish are about to die they give them the children that's fucked it's messed up you throw like a ping pong ball in a cup and then they'd send the kid home with a bag of fish and like these fish are just dying

and so my niece brought home with fish and I knew this shit was gonna die because like I when I did it when I was a kid I could never keep a fish alive because I didn't have a setup I'd come home put the fish in a bowl yeah and then not really understand it needs a filter and it needs to be aerated, and then the fish would eventually die. I would feed it like bread, you know,

and then it would die. One time I brought a fish home, and I was like, I don't know if I've ever told the story, but like I brought a fish home from school, and I was like, I knew that the previous fish had died, and I thought it because they didn't have bubbles,

which in my head, I was like, it needs bubbles. I didn't think it needed, like, air. Right. It needs bubbles. So I got home. My mom wasn't home yet. So I put a big salad bowl.

I put the fish in it, and I got a shabble. straw and I was gonna tell my mom we have to go to the thing to buy the you know this fish store to buy the stuff so this fish survives but I needed to bridge the gap till she got home so I took a straw and for like three hours I blew into the into the bowl but I was blowing carbon dioxide into the bowl and I killed the fish immediately so the fish died within hours because I was just hitting it with CO2 out of my mouth so my niece brought this fish home years later I'm like I'm not

gonna let this happen again I went and got the set up and I ended up having this seven years and then um i moved fish came with me and then one day the fish was dead and i out of nowhere though it like died out of nowhere in no reason you know i just cleaned the tank it was a very healthy fish and uh i think there was foul play i really do think so no way i think someone put like because i tested the uh p h about i would do all that shit yeah and then after i cleaned it and then like i had people over and then like it was dead and then i think it was like someone like poured something in the tank i said then i didn't want to to flush the fish because I had a seven year relationship with the fish. Oh yeah. And so

I didn't want to flush so I was going to bury it. I might have told this, but I was going to bury it, but I didn't want to bury in the yard because it was summer and I didn't want to decompose and smell. So I wrapped it in tin foil. I put in my freezer and that was like it's that's come closing in on it's 15 to 20 years ago and I never got rid of the fish. It's still with I have a frozen goldfish in my freezer for over 15 years. That fish is still in my freezer right now. And I moved three times and I took it with me. What?

Yes. I had to put them in like on ice. Moving is hard on everyone. It's hard on. I have the fish. Oh my God. I have a dead fish for over 15 years in my freezer right now. You know it's in your freezer.

No exactly where it is in my freezer. Oh, that's beautiful. It is, man. I took it out on Hey Babe one time. I took it out for the first. time. I never unwrapped it in all 15 years. And we opened it on, hey, babe, and it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, it was tough. It was a goldfish, but like, I lost a lot of its gold. It was like a pale gold. And, uh, like the eyes were kind of gone. Oh, I guess over time,

I guess in the freezer. God takes the gold back or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what, there you are right there. That's COVID. You could tell, right? Yeah, very, very rabbinical right there as well, dude. Oh my god, bro. It definitely has like a Michael Jackson tent to it. It's crazy. Did you see it? Yeah, I can see just a little bit of it there. Yeah, show me that. Dude, you know, oh my God, wow. Yeah, poor fish. Oh, it's cool. What was it same? I didn't name it. Because that was another thing. Every fish I had prior, I named died. So I called him fish for seven years. I like that. Yeah. At least like the fact you took on a new strategy to keeping him alive. Yeah. I was trying everything I could. And we had seven nice years. He used to

eat out of my hand. Yeah. I don't know if it was really because we had a bond. I think they would just do that anyway. But I like to think it was because we got close. And how do you do? You put your hand in there? I put my hand right in. I like hold the flake and put it in. You're lying. No, no, I swear. It's really not that big a deal. I don't think. I think it is. It's like a drive-through for it. I feel like it's like going to the drive-field. It felt like I had a, I had a, you know how they like a flea circus or something? Yeah. It felt like I had a fish that doesn't. It felt like I had a fish that tricks. Well, do, we had the acro cats lady.

She came on here once. What is that? This lady, she'd been traveling on the country. Oh, the acro cats. For like 20 years or something. And she's, uh, she should drive the tour bus that the cats were in a tour bus. No. Yes. That the cats were in. And I'm paraphrasing a little bit here. But one of the toughest shows that she had, one of the tough experiences, she's on the road somewhere. Somebody had left the window open, maybe from smoking or a cigarette or something. And tuna, the lead cat gets out. No way. Yeah. And she lost the cat? Couldn't find it.

No. And the show must go on. She had like three hours before. So like there's another cat. Tuna's understudy. Yeah. Tuna's understudy or whatever. I don't even remember.

Chicken salad. Yeah, it was just like Talape or something was the understudy. Yeah, that's crazy. He's got to come in and he's always, you know, he's Italian. So he's got to come in doing his tilapia and shit, you know, like. His big break. It's like tuna. Yeah, dude.

But they might have taken Tuna out. She thinks Tuna got away, but they might have been, they might have been foul played there. That's crazy, too. Because tuna was a star, and once he leaves and he goes into the open road like that, everyone he passes has no idea who he is. And that's a star cat amongst you. It's almost like a story from the Bible when they didn't know who Jesus was. Yeah.

You know? That's pretty cool, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is amazing, bro. Yeah, I wonder what his cloud is like out in the wilderness, though. And a father of animals are like, oh, shit, that's tuna, cut. That's tuna. Man, that's tuna.

Working out on the street. Like, dang, bro, tuna out here, bro. Tuna out here, bro. Damn, he real like that. he in the trench is cut. Like, damn, tuna outside, dude. Tuna got out. But, dude.

Tuna's not about that life anymore. Yeah, yeah, bro. Tuna chain, man. What was the last pet you had? You're a pet now? No, you can't have a pet now. No, I never have a road too much, right? Yeah, I've never, I plan to get a dog.

Yeah. And this has been a slow feeling for me, but I plan to get a dog and maybe a cat, if I can get a wife. And not if. One day I'll get a wife, and I'm going to have a family, but I would like to get a dog and cat. And it doesn't all. have to happen together or whatever.

Yeah. But I think if I don't get married or something, then maybe I'll get a dog and cat and maybe something else, I wouldn't mind getting a couple horses probably. Wow. You ride horses? I wouldn't ride them, but I would go over by them.

Yeah. You'd go next to them, talk to them. Yeah, to be like that. Brush them. Let me ask you a question. If I see a horse that's not in the wild, it's got on horseshoes.

Every horse in captivity has on horseshoes. That's a good question. Or is it just like, parade horses and horses that are like going out on the town or whatever. I'm not sure. Look it up. That's a great question. This guy I know Mr. Mike is a ferrier.

What is a ferrier? A ferrier is the guy that comes in and puts the shoes on the horses. Oh, really? Yeah. That's called a ferrier? Trems the toenails and everything. I got stuck on ferrier talk for a while and, dude, half my feed was ferriers. No way.

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that's what they were called. I thought they were like cobblers or something. No, no, no. I think cobblers is for shoeing humans and ferriers is for shoeing. I don't know if it's just for animals. No, not all horses need shoes. Whether a horse requires shoes depends on factors like workload,

hoof health, genetics, and terrain. I can see how hoof health would be a factor. I mean? You got a pair of weak hooves. You need to get into protection. Oh, dude. If my feet are real tender, I want them bitches on. Yeah.

Also, you want that clippity clop. You know? I don't think you, I don't know if you get a clippity clop without the shoe. Dude, you're telling me a kind of thick. They're like tap dancing. A thick horse from Atlanta ain't fucking pulling up with that clippity clop. Yeah. type shit.

Yeah. Yeah. What about those really good? What are the Coca-Cola horses like at Christmas? Crosdale. Clydesdales. Yeah. That's a,

that's a clippity clop right there. That horse, you're like, dude, when that horse shows up, bro, people, some people salute it.

I would salute it. You're like, that's interesting to have that between man and... You have confidence in your salute? Yeah. I did a, I did a show for the Naval Academy recently,

and they asked me to take a picture with a man's salute. And you see salutes. in movies and really in life, but like, I feel like there's a way they do it that, like, it looks like it's just, you just do this, but I don't know if this is right. Like, some of them do that or like, like, is there a proper way to salute? Like, are we saluting the right way right now, or is it like, I got nervous because I was like, I don't want to insult these people and salute the wrong way.

Like, do you tuck your finger in? Like, you go, what are you doing with a salute? That's a good question. And they do it like, you know, when someone else is the guys like, whoosh, like, it's like super, like, locked in, like. The Koreans do that. Really like, you know, they do? Yeah.

Position of attention. So my hands are to my side. Arms are straight down. When I raise my hand to salute, it's going to be flat. Hands not, like thumbs not tucked underneath my hand and like kind of stuff. So we're raising it up. And then because I'm wearing headgear, my index finger is going to come to the edge of my headgear. Arms at a 45 degree angle.

Hands slightly can and down, not facing up, not facing down. Just like this. I get my greeting and then I drop my salute. Now, that is how it's like for wearing headgear. If I was wearing something like maybe no headgear or maybe the beret, but because I have glasses, then has to come to the edge of my glasses. If I was wearing the bray or maybe even no headgear. I was a lot of wolds. And I also don't wear glasses, then

it comes to the edge of my eyebrows. So it depends. He's like, if you're, you know. He's like, if you have a scrunchy in or whatever, if the scrunchy one's the best, because you put it in the bag, you're like, hey. You're like, hey. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I was, self-conscious. I've always been

self-conscious about my salute. You ever ride a horse bearback? that's probably fun That takes skill right there Somebody got a horse Somehow by us one time And we got on that bitch Yeah

And we did pretty good We didn't do good Bearback though Yeah bear back We tried to get a saddle or something Somebody put like a thing like nobody had a saddle We shouldn't have this horse They had a carner

Like a fair that was near us And I think when it kind of got in away From the fair Somebody brought it down there Yeah Being down there drinking with like the car The carnies and stuff the night before And so

They kept up by this dude Mr. Ernie's house And we went over there And we were all getting on And shit It was pretty friendly When I think in hindsight It could have been really dangerous

I almost died on a horse You did? Yeah, the class trip In like eighth grade They put me on a horse That started like full rodeoing Who put you on a horse? The dude ranch

That we went to for the trip They put me on a horse And this horse I'm in 8th, 7th grade I have no horse Experience whatsoever I get on the horse The horse is bucking

Jumping up and down kicking and bucking And I'm looking around Like everyone's there All the other students are on horses That are just sitting Right Like just chilling

And then the cowboys are there And they didn't even react quickly Like they were like I was like looking at them And they were looking at me I would basically like When the rodeo thing opens And the horse is like

Oh yeah That's what this fucking horse was doing A lot of horses don't But they don't prefer Italians I'll say that Yeah it's whatever No judgment A lot of children don't

Are allergic to Mexican stuff Yeah Yeah like avocado Yeah, I'm got him. I'm got us. No, no. But I remember, it wasn't like, you know, like the rodeo rodeo, but it was enough for, like, an eighth grader to be terrified.

And I'm, like, looking at these guys, like, is anyone going to step in at all? And the guy was just like, help. I finally just said help. And then the guy was like, all right, just calm down. I'm like, this is how you treat a 12-year-old? You can tell me to calm down? I'm going to be thrown from this horse. Like, and then they got, they got me off that horse.

And they gave me the most senior citizen horse they had. Like, the back was. like slumped inward. Yeah. And then my horse, I got on that horse, the horse walked up to a tree and started eating the leaves

and then wouldn't, didn't leave. And like everyone went on the trail and that horse wouldn't leave the tree and just ate the, yeah. And I just stood there on the horse like. Yours was like rosemary

or something. It was like, yeah, glue stick. You just had a brooch on. Yeah. Yeah, but I would never get on a horse bear on. Dang, dude.

That's wild, bro. Yeah, horses, I think they're probably the most, they're the best animal that we have until we come. out with a new animal, like, until they catch a dragon or make something. Yeah. And we did have a neighbor.

My friend William had a fish, and I remember when it died, and they went and buried it at the Long John Silver's in, like, the flower bed outside of there, I remember. Well, that's an interesting choice. Remember that restaurant? Yeah, of course. But it's a seafood restaurant. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I mean, like, it's a little bit, like... It was, like, the closest thing I think people thought, like... Yeah. Well, it's nice that they had the flower bed. Yeah, like bringing back with this community. Like, just outside of the parking medians, they had a little bit of, like, kind of semi-designed foliage right there.

Yeah, yeah. That's always nice. A little extra touch. But I remember his dad took us over there, and we put it there and we put it there and did, like, a prayer or something. I think we might have saluted, too. Yeah, salute that fish.

We don't even know. Dude, yeah, you had to salute that thing. Shout out LJS, bro. I feel like horses are, like, they're on a lot of, like, romance novel covers. Like, Bearback horse riding is exotic, I feel like. It's also mythological.

I think the things that will happen to your body, you want to talk about checking yourself for testicular cancer. But like a nude woman on a horse bear back? That's a very exotic, right? Yeah, because I think you think of the stallion and like, I'm going to be the stallion.

I'm going to sleep with 1,050 women. You know what I'm saying? It's like. Yeah, I would I would take notice if a woman rode by like Patopoulos on the bear back on a horse I would probably pay attention

I would probably I would probably follow the person because it's very interesting I wouldn't just like let that go by I'm gonna find out where this is gonna end up I'd want to see what would happen dude did you see speaking of mythological things

did you see that Artemis space shuttle went to the moon do you think that really happened or not let's take a gander at it. I think it happened. It's, I mean... Because people are very weary now. Well, first let me start. Do you think the first moon landing happened?

I do. Because bring up the shuttle. Bring out the picture of the shuttle. I'm sure you've looked at the shuttle and been like... Yeah, but I also, like, when you look at these things and sometimes I'm like, oh, maybe I could be convinced otherwise. You know what I mean? Like, it's crazy that we haven't gone back.

We went there now and just, didn't we just drive around it? We didn't get off, right? Yeah. They just went for like a looksee or whatever. Yeah, that's wild. I would never, ever, ever, no matter what you could do, say, you could, you could, I would never go into space. Never.

Which one of the Jokers do you think would go in his face if they had to go? Probably Mur. I don't think he has, I don't think he really... Yeah, just say it. He's crazy like that. He's got it. Yeah, he'll, he'd go up there. I wouldn't, but I think that he's always looking at something new.

Yeah. Imagine what they must have felt like. I just saw that movie, that new Ryan Gosling movie, like it's like, he goes into space. Well, all they do is take beautiful men and put him out in a space, dude. A lot of these movies, it's Matt Damon, it's Ryan Gosseling, it's Stephen Tyler. They just take these good-looking guys. Or what's his name?

Well, well, right, all right. Oh, yeah. Macaenae went to space. Interstellar, right? That's when you know Hollywood's like, this guy's good-looking enough. We'll take him and show them off to the other planets, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I can't even imagine. Try to pick up a new market, you know. Yeah. Go out, I mean, I would be. But look at that. Terrified, bro. Yeah, I'd be terrified too, dude, if I went to space in.

in a lifeguard tower from Santa Monica Beach. That's it? Yeah. That looks, yeah. Look at it. Can you zoom on it? It looks like a toy, like a transformer or something. Bro.

Yeah, that doesn't, that doesn't look like it. I don't have confidence in that. Oh, come on, dude. That's not even a fucking food truck, bro. That looks flimsy, bro. Those little, like, legs and stuff. Like, how do you get up there and be like, man, I would feel like the existential threat of the,

of the universe on my shoulders. Dude, they didn't even put horseshoes on it, dude. That thing is, man. Look at the legs of it. Can you imagine being up there alone? And see, this is the thing, too. Like, they went up there.

They did a couple of loop to loops. But then that doesn't necessarily mean, like, coming back is hard. Yeah. It's risky coming back. So, like, you're signing up. I'm sorry. Like, none of those people can say for certainty

that they, I wonder what the, what the odds were that they could be, it could go south. Yeah. Like, I bet you it wasn't like 99%. Like, I bet you it was like, all right, it's like 70, 30. Like, you might explode on the way home. Right.

That's a big. That's crazy. Dude, imagine me coming home and see Earth and you're like, all right. Like, and then it goes to when I was in, when I was a kid, we watched the Challenger live. No. At school, you know, we all watched it and we watched it live and it fucking blew up. And it was like, I, the teachers, everyone just started crying. I was like, we were like, what?

trying to wrap our head around. I was like third grade. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that like there was a school teacher in there. And they just blew up. Remember this on live television? Yeah. That's wild. There was a pet.

Wasn't there also a puppy in there? Was there? I thought that they sent a puppy in there. Wow. I can't believe that we even did this right now. To me, it just feels like, it's like, it's funny. We can't send help in the Gaza, but we can send the Artemis 2 to go circle around the moon.

Like that to me is like. What was the purpose of the mission? Do you know? It's a great question. Let's look it up. It wasn't just like... And I'm sorry, there was no live animal on the Space Shuttle Challenger during the final

flight in 1986. God bless those people and their families. Yeah. I know, man. Can you imagine? Let's just... Let's have a moment of that. Let's imagine that, like,

we're sending, like, because you could, you could probably get in, like, let me be honest with you. If they pick some people to go to space right now, right? Yeah. And Mer get sick or whatever. Something happened to him. He gets in a loss.

It didn't happen to me. I wouldn't even go, like, out of this little, just right above the atmosphere. I wouldn't even do that. I wouldn't do that. Katie Perry went to space. She, I don't know. I read yesterday she went to space.

People said that they went to space, but that shit was so, it was very like, that was very sketched. Like waving at people. There was like friends coming up to the edge. It was like, this isn't in space. Would you go? Would you go? I don't know.

We're fucking this planet up so much. We don't need to be exporting whatever we're doing right now. I don't believe that we belong on a rock. pocket. Yes, right now. You know what I'm saying? Like, I still, I still getting more, I'm still getting used to flying in planes. Do you know what I do think, though? Oh, this is a good question.

Let's, let's answer this for people. The Artemis mission are NASA's current program to return humans to the moon and use it as a stepping stone for future trips to Mars. We're not going to. We're not going to. You can't. So why are we going up there? I guess, you know, I guess we're But that's, I don't like that shit. When somebody's

like, hey, I want to come visit you, but really the staying overnight so they can go visit somebody else further away. I don't like somebody else. I don't know if I'd have thought about that. Well, that's what we're doing. It says, carry out the moon to Mars, strategy land astronauts on the moon. We're basically using the moon for a place to relax for a little while. Establish a sustainable long-term human presence on the moon rather than just short-term

flags and footprints visit like the Apollo. Dog, some of this shit. Flags and footprints also was the name of the all-male dance team at Covington High School when I was there. that's pretty good They were state champ Yeah Who's gonna go

How do you Okay let's say let's say We get to the point Right We get to the point I interrupt you No no no I'm just say

We get to the point Where people like Are we're ready to move up there It's like Okay How many Who's going up there first With what

Like what are you going up there With some two by fours Like you got to build A brick and more Like you got to build a house You got to have Some type of currency You got to have like

A bank A restaurant Like who's who's going up there building that stuff? And then you need enough people. Like, I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand.

How many people do you need to inhabit the moon at the exact same time to make it a thing where people live there and go about their daily lives there? Like, what's it going to be like? Or is it just going to be like prehistoric at first? You're like signing up to go up there and live in a tent and like just live off the land

and have no entertainment? You mean like that thing they do in the desert every year? What is it? Like Burning Man? Like Burning Man? Yeah, it's like, what, how do you properly inhabit, like, you know? Brother, this is for the elites, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is for the elites, you know, they're not bringing a couple of giggle monkeys like us up there. Right. This is for the elites. I think this is like, they're planning to do like, like they can't do it Epstein's Island anymore. I think you're looking for like Epstein's orb, you know? We're going to find a place where we can really be nasty out here. Yeah, it's like maritime law out there. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, you're in the international war. Right. You're an international air. Yeah. So I think that, like, I don't know, there is a big part of me, dude, that, and I really, there's a big part of me that questions this. Doesn't believe it, but it questions it.

Like, you don't think we went? I don't know if we went. I do believe, but one, they're trying to distract us from a lot of the horrible things that are going on in the world right now that we're a part of. Sure. So I do think that there's some of that, because there's a lot of these weird things. Like, one lady's mother gets kidnapped, they can't find her, you know? But they can tell you where you had door dash order is missing and where it's been,

or whatever. You can't find one lady. That's wild. But she disappears from a porch. You got nothing. Right. Right. But we're going to move to the moon.

Right. But we're going to move to the moon. Yeah, I think there's like, some of it's that. It's like, oh, we need a trip to the moon. That'll get people exciting. You know what I'm saying? Something to distract us. The pictures look crazy, though.

You saw the pictures of Earth. I have seen them. Bring some of them up. That's why. It's wild. It's like. But I think, yeah, it could be that maybe something is, do you ever start to worry that something is going to happen to Earth?

And that that's why there's like, I mean, because it's kind of, it seems like a weird time to send some people out to look at the moon. Do you agree? I think any time, I don't know if there's ever a right time. I mean, I guess I agree with you. I'm always thinking something's going to happen. I think maybe right after Christmas or something you said a couple of guys out. They always have those things where it's like those predictions from like Aristotle.

It's like, you know, or like they predicted in the future. Like Nostradamus? Nostradamus, yeah. And it's like, have they. come true? That's a good question, dude. Oh, these are some of the photos? I mean, bro, it's pretty wild that we're out of here like that. And dude, you're telling me this shit, hold on.

You're telling me, the best we can do is some guy takes this with his thumb in front of the thing. That's the kind of shit that makes me feel like, I know it makes it... I would have deleted that one. I would have deleted that one. You know, like... Yeah, dude. Yeah, man, I can't imagine seeing it. that with my own eyes though that's wild and then the moon bro that bitch is vibey though she's mixed

yeah she's mixed for sure dude oh look at that i don't know dude i don't i mean i think i'm i think who wants to live there it's just i don't know it looks like i don't know maybe you ever do zero gravity like you ever do that floating around like the space no i've ever done it of you Now, my buddy did it. He said it's one of the craziest things he's ever felt in this life. Man, just flying in this room right now. Like, if you just stood up and pushed,

if you pushed yourself off the chair and just started floating over there? Just went like that. That's got to be wild. As long as I make that sound while I float. If I don't make that sound, bro, I don't believe it. I want to do that. I would really want to do that, like, to at least feel that sensation.

I wonder, dude, I can't even imagine, like, some of the fans, like, imagine, like, your the children. This is kind of sad, but I don't mean it in like a real sad way, I guess. I just mean it in some curiosity of emotion. Like your parent or your brother or something is like going up to the moon at that time.

Because the challenger, like, was it headed to the moon? It's a great question, huh? Where was it headed? I feel like, yes,

because where else would be going? Bro, they were blasting people out of whatever. It would be like, you know, they were just, they were just trying to get, like,

shoot extra scenes for air, bud up there. They were going to the moon. The space shuttle was designed a low Earth orbit space

truck and did not have the engine power fuel capacity to reach the moon. No, the challenger was not headed to the moon. The shuttle mission

that tragically ended in a disaster was scheduled for a six-day mission in orbit around Earth to deploy a communication satellite

and study Haley's comet. Dang. Imagine how excited you must have been. I wonder if they were scared before. Is there any

interviews of those people right before they left? Oh, geez, yeah. just to also kind of honor them a little bit. What date did that happen as well, Trevin? Do you know? I feel like it was like mid, mid, 86.

Wow. 86. We're coming up on a 40-year anniversary of it. First ordinary citizen. I mean, are you expected to be the ordinary speaker who was out there? That was a year after Amy and Stu Shackman got married. That was what? Two months after Amy and Stu Shackman got married.

Okay, this is Krista McAuliffe. The teaching profession and students and the whole country is really going to benefit from this. We hopefully are going to know an awful lot more about what life is like aboard the shuttle. Cold coffee. Sounds like she's from Rhode Island. A little bit. Where was she from?

Yeah, you were right. Isn't that close? That's really close. Yeah. Still close Close enough Yeah Rhode Island

It's right there She reminded me The lady It was like cold coffee Ice coffee You seen that lady I think we talked about this For you haven't

No Bring up the lady At the Dunkin' Donuts That burned down Sorry This is a problem With the internet Dude

We're trying to pay OMA Amage or homage To Kristen McCauley And then Bring up that Yeah Dunkin Donuts

Do you see this You haven't With my Boy Dutch, dude, you never seen this? No. This is, uh, jailed on this, I gotta tell the lower of it. Jim Norton put us on this.

And this is carried on now for like almost 10 years when, uh, a Dunkin' Donuts burned down in Shamokin. Coffee shop in Shamokin is closed following an arson over the weekend. Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage. He's watched 16th, Nikki cries, joins us live from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki. Julie, a lot of people in Shamokin are upset that Duncan Donuts is closed. because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts. Today we also learned new

information about the teenage rural police charged with setting the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shimokin. The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage. There's a lot of people that's definitely going to miss it, no doubt about it. A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday night. Police officer Ray Psycho says no one was hurt, but the place has extensive damage. Psycho says the fire was started inside the women's bathroom. The toilet paper dispenser was lit on fire and within about a minute the entire place was

filled up with smoke. It feels fake. The mother did explain that. She's recently been put on new medication. Ray Psycho. For what reason? You would like a psycho. The 13 year old who admitted to setting the fire is currently at a juvenile detention.

They're showing blurred pictures of them. This is the best of the squad. Donuts is closed now I have to relay on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill or something where I don't like their donuts I rather the donuts at Duncan Donuts but I really miss Duncan Donuts oh this guy's the best oh boy then my boy Dutch Smith right here bro chicken baker croissant I get some coffee power rate if I'm dehydrated I sit there all the time if I have any like legal work that I need to do I go there I need my attorneys

Legal work? Do you say legal work? I sit there all the time. If I have any legal work that I need to do, I go there. I meet with my attorneys there. What? And this is a lady.

And Jim Norton dressed up like this lady for Halloween. No, no, did he? Yeah, one year, which was the best thing I've ever seen. I hope he does it again, allegedly. But let's start at the beginning of her again. I'm going to miss that place if it don't open up. And a lot of my friends go in there. Get the cold coffee.

Ice coffee, I guess it's called. People miss their... Yeah, there you go. Oh, my gosh, dude. But when she said coffee, it reminded me a little bit of McColl. What's our face? Yeah. Oh, and go look at the comments on there.

Is there any great comments on their Google reviews? There's got to be. Oh, so funny. Went for a donut. Place burned down. No, I said that? No, no, I'm saying. Two stars.

Here we go. Not open due to being set on fire. But otherwise, a classy place to hydrate, or so I'm told, that's Nicholas Sority right there. Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill where I don't like their donuts, or I'd rather the donuts at Duncan Donuts. And I'm kind of dealing with it,

but I really miss Duncan Donuts. Shout out, Felix Sweertow. Oh, it's the best, dude. Dude, you said Air Bud before and made me think, like, there was so many dog movies when I was growing up. So many dog celebrities, right? Rent-tin-tin, right? Yeah, the chihuahua, you know, are there anymore?

They talk about chihuahua. Yeah, what happened? Himbrim. The talk about chowel. You don't remember him? I remember him. I brought him up. Turner and Hooch.

Dude, what happened to dog Hollywood? What happened to dog Hollywood? Lassie, Benji. Coojo Clifford Airbud Spuds McKenzie It was all these dogs

Dogs like big Big dog personalities Heathcliff Snoopy Snoopy Uh Uh The other ones

Yeah there's more There's more All dogs go to heaven There was a lot Turner and Hooch Turner and Hooch Um But I'm saying

Like There were like big bankable dog stars Right You don't see that much anymore That's a great point Yeah

I wonder what happened Why are there more animal stars in Hollywood. Animal stars are disappearing from Hollywood primarily due to the rise of sophisticated CGI and AI. Ah. I don't know if I feel like that's true though. Yeah. I mean, yeah, because

it's not the same. You don't need to, you know what I mean? Right. People know the love of a dog. They want that. You can't replace it. Right. Yeah. I think we're primed and ready for our next big dog star. Imagine the tour he would go on. Is Air Bud still doing? Is AirBud still doing? still doing it? I don't know. I know I read the other day that they're going to get, that some dog can now live longer based on some new medicines that they're giving them.

They can live a lot longer. Really? And some people are happy about it. And some people apparently were not. They're only expecting their dog to live for so long. Well, that's, I want a dog, but I can't get one right now. I gotta wait until like I stopped touring so much and the kids are low. But like, I want a dog, but one of the reasons like I'm hesitant is because like you're really starting to yourself for a heartache in like 10, to 12 years or something. You know, like my dog's all died eight years, 10 years, 12 years,

14 years, you know what? Oh, yeah, bro. I mean, if that's a real thing, like, is that a real, if they're giving them medicine or whatever to help and live longer? Yeah. I'll buy into that.

Yeah, well, you look that up for me? Hamsters and grandparents, so it's like how children learn about about death a lot of times, you know, in a sad way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like you need that element to teach your kid to give you his kid a, you know, a gay,

way to death or whatever, like a way to see it. But they had Sounder, that was a huge movie. Remember that? They had Old Yeller. Old Yeller. That's another one. That was a huge movie. Yes.

That was a huge movie. Yeah, that was massive. That was back in the little prairie house on the prairie times. San Francisco biotech company Loyal is developing drugs aimed at extending dogs healthy lifespans by lowering high levels of the hormone IGF1, which accelerates aging and larger dogs, the leading candidates, including the daily pill. their leading candidates, including the daily pill, L-O-Y-O-O-2. The drugs work by reducing levels of insulin-like growth factor 1,

a hormone that drives rapid growth in young dogs, but contributes to faster aging and shorter lifespan in larger mature dogs. I thought you would BS in me. Oh, no, I just saw some information about this the other day. That was really interesting. What else was in the news? That was something that was kind of worth discussing. I don't know if we want to go down too many heavy roads.

Oh, has there been something your children have wanted to ask for That you had to say no, like, or is there like a tough parenting thing that you kind of like Yeah Just tell me what some of that's like give me something from like the parenting world because I'm just curious about it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah my daughter went through a sleep regression recently so like sleep what regression? Okay So like she used, you sleep through the night fine, but then you know, they start developing their brain starts developing and they start having Dreams and you know and they get a little more like they start to understand stand stuff more. So like we'd watch like home alone all the time, right? She loves home alone.

And she just saw it at face value. She loved it. She knew what was going on. Like she was two, but she like got everything. She got a little older. And then she started out of nowhere, even though she watched Home Alone like 50 times. She like started to get scared from it from Marvin Harry. Yeah. Right. So one day like she kept, she kept saying like in the car, she'd be like, dad, are Marvin Harry following us? Like out of nowhere one day. And I'm like, no, they're not. They're not, are Marvin Harry after us? Oh, that's scary. They're not after us at all.

They're after Kevin's toys. It's like trying to make it, you know what? Oh, yeah. All right, but are they going to come for me? I'm like, no, Marvin Harry are fun. They just after Kevin's toys. Kevin's going to put them through the ringer. It's all good.

And then like, in the middle of the night, she's like, dad, dad, I'm scared. Goes to her. And I come and she was like, a Marvin Harry coming. And I'm like, my wife's like, you shouldn't have made her watch home alone. I'm like, she loved it.

It wasn't until recently that she started getting scared. You know what I mean? But she'll call and be like, so you can't go up there. You have to go up there. Like, this is what got really hard. Like, going up there, like,

they're always testing the limits of what they can control and not control and pushing boundaries. So that's the whole few years. It's like they're pushing boundaries. So they try to see what they can get over on you. Like, so if they want you to come upstairs and they cry and that brings you upstairs,

they know that they're going to get you upstairs every time. You have to break that habit. You have to, like, So there's times where it's like she's like crying and be like, Dad, please come upstairs. And I'm like downstairs and like you can't, you can't go up. You know? And it's the worst feeling.

Because you want to run. She's like, but you know it's a trap. It's a trap. But like, but also she's cunning. Like she'll, she'll say shit that she knows you're going to tug at my heartstrings.

I'd have to ignore her crime. And she'll start saying stuff like, dad, please, dad. I need you. I miss you. Like, you know, right, the ship is leaving the shore just things that she's seen. And you're like, I'm like literally like downstairs. Like she doesn't see me, but I'm like right under the door.

Me and my wife are sitting there and I'm just like, I got tears in my eyes. I'm just like, I need to go, you know. You can't. It's tough. It's tough. So parenting. So, yeah, you got to really like, I guess you have to be the day. Sometimes you have to be the leader, huh?

And sometimes you want to just be the buddy. I want them to be able to. like they want to sleep she'll be like please can i come sleep with you guys i want to i want her to do that so bad but like we can't do it because like it opens up you know like then it's like you know oh yeah but some i know families that sleep that all the kids sleep in the bed and that's that but like you know it could be tough like if you have we have work and travel a lot and stuff again yeah if you're not a little house in the prairie then that's kind of like back then yeah you need it for warmth and stuff and it's like that yeah but i want to do it but i i so far we

haven't done it because I just feel like I don't want to start bad habits, you know, but. And is it tough with like, with your wife to have the debate on what are good habits and bad habits? Like is it is it, or do you guys communicate? Yeah, we're on the same page. It's pretty, it's pretty straightforward, you know, like, but, uh, it's, you're gonna, you, you, you, you, you, you want kids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you do, like, if you do, like, if you, if you want kids, have kids, you know, like. I think I do, I mean, I think the most you can get to is like, I think I want them. I really, like, no. somebody's like, if you're like yelling in the park or whatever, I want kids, you're going to go to jail, you know?

Or are you going to get elected? But if you're just like, yeah. But so I think the safest thing I say, yeah, I think I really like to have kids. I'll have to have a spouse that is like we can go down that road together. And then, you know, some of it, I think it's like if that's going to be part of God, if God wants that for me in my life, you know.

And if I'm willing to set my life up enough where it's a possibility because God I don't think he would bless me with children if it wasn't like a safest environment either, you know? Sure. I think you should do it. I always tell you that. But yeah, I would like to how, I think more and more I would like to have that. Yeah, yeah.

You know, I would like to have the chance to love something that's different and to have like a new different type of like connection in the world, you know, just to experience what connections there are because it's, I'm sure it's like totally different. I mean, last year you were saying just how different it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got to do it. You got to do it, especially if you want them because there's nothing better. you'll feel so fulfilled, man. Yeah?

Yeah, you'll feel so fulfilled. And I want probably six or five kids, bro. I know. It's like when you start having you, you'll see. You'll see like you want as many as possible. That's why people just keep having them. Dude, in the old days, man, people had them with reckless abandon. Bro, people would have a kid.

They'd be at the store, they'd be like, oh, where's my kid? They'd be at the store, they would leave a kid. They'd have to come back, hey, we left a kid in your shelf or whatever. Yeah. Some kids in the freezer. People used to have kids back in a day so many. many kids that like some of them would just like perish perish and then they was just like I we lost a couple of them yeah you know Albert state and we still have 10 of them but we lost a couple yeah

Albert stayed in Mancato we didn't we didn't we had seen you know yeah he stayed it off and we hope he's all right I know he wound it off in Rochester yeah look you had a bag of food with him you know you're like how do you're crazy I don't know how you focus on you had how many still is you got I just had one two three four three total okay what you have besides me three yeah yeah that's a fun amount yeah you so you're a family You had four of you guys still together? Yeah, yeah. If you could go back and be a kid,

what's one moment you would go back to in your child? Like a, like a, was it like a birthday party or a time? Or like, it could just be a general. It doesn't have to be specific either. Yeah. Like, what was like the funnest holiday you guys had or something? Was there one that was just... Going to my grandma, my grandma will host Christmas

and like all the cousins would come over. And that was fun because she had like this really old house. That was a two-family. with a big basement and a big old attic. Yeah. And we all used to go up in the attic and cause like hijinks and hide and shit. And like I just like that,

those days were the best days. But you could just like run around the house playing hide and seek and like feel like it was the best thing that ever happened to you. Yeah. Yeah. Just yeah. Not all this bullshit. Like you didn't know anything yet.

It's just about playing, hanging out, you know? I know. At the world, yeah, it seems like it should be able to be such a simpler world, doesn't it? That's the thing. out I think gets me a lot. It's like, go hang out in the woods. Yeah. Like, like, when I was young, there was like, it was so much less

like underdeveloped. Oh, yeah. And it was just like patches of woods everywhere. Oh, it was native of American shit. You'd have a guy to chiseled a fucking couple tits into a, you know, into a birch tree or whatever. You'd have somebody, you know, there was like a grave somewhere. Somebody just... She's all a couple of tits and just buried somebody. Like the woods used to be crazy, bro, because you'd see some guy

have been living there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There'd be some pornography or whatever. Yeah, always. Somebody buried pornography, but they, you know, they'd draw like an arrow. It's like, hey, pornography. So they didn't forget what it was. I was like, dude.

That's where I saw my first porn back was in the woods. Oh, everybody, which is crazy, bro. Well, you're right there with nature, dude. Oh, dude, I remember the first time I masturbated, bro. I didn't even know what was going to happen with, like, your body or whatever. And I remember, like, something kind of, like, kind of came outside of my body. And I remember trying to put it back into my penis with my finger. Yeah.

And I heard my mom like downstairs and I was like trying to get it all back in. Before she, yeah. Oh. So yeah, I was like, yeah. So obviously, yeah, I had a lot of intimacy issues. So it is, bro. Well, let's get this question. Let's get this answer in, dude.

Early 1800s. Let me see. Over the past three centuries, the average number of children per women in most of the world has declined sharply. Roughly from five to seven kids per woman in the early 1800s to 2.25 for kids per woman today in many countries. I think it's even less than that now. Yeah.

I think I've read something like people are having the least amount of kids that in, in history right now. Maybe there'll be a rebirth of it, you know? Maybe there'll be something new that happens. Do you feel like, I feel like, you know, I didn't want to get into like in port, like heavy stuff today, but there's just like, it feels like it's a tough time in the world for a lot of people. Dude, do you imagine like octal mom?

Like you have eight babies in your stomach? You get, you get birth to eight babies. babies at the same exact time. That's dark shit. And look at that thing she had on her, bro. It's like whenever you ever see that spider that's got the big thing on it, like it's pregnant? Yeah, that's wild, bro.

Imagine you have no kids and then you have eight kids. Yeah. I think she already had like five kids. Oh my God. Are you serious? Just watch a documentary on it. How do you, how do you give the time you need to each of these kids? Yo, what do you do when you want people like, like, like, guess what?

Twins and they're like, oh my God. two how are we gonna do this like eight bro eight how do you even how do you even what's the first thing you do when there's eight there's eight two day old babies

yeah what's the first thing you do like tomogachis like you like literally just have to like check the batteries on all of them holy shit dude get you some ice coffee cold coffee ice coffee

you have a tomagogy no I never have one do you remember that oh I do remember them and it didn't hit us super hard our family I was a little older. We weren't in like a lot of the Asian kind of stuff that much.

We was like doing Hulk Hogan type of shit. Dude, I remember I had to do a roast of this of the Nadia Soleiman who was the Octumum. Did you have to? Who had eight children who was kind of a celebrity for a while. Or not a celebrity. I mean, everybody's kind of a celebrity these days. But she was like kind of in the limelight or whatever, you know, for that. Yeah.

You roasted her? We had a roaster. And dude, I remember I got there. And I thought it would be fun and everything. And you get there and you're like, oh, this feels, there's part of it that feels really mean. Oh, really? Do you mind any of the jokes? I mean, they were easy. I mean, some of them were probably good

and some were probably not good. What, what, what, what's scenario? Was she being, why would she be in row? It was just a, it was, uh, the ha ha comedy cafe over there in, uh, over there, yeah, in Burbank. Yeah. It's kind of a growing itself languish from, I think. But, um, yeah, Jack Jr., his family over there,

it's their club. It's a great spot. Yeah, I've done some spot. Yeah. And so, um, but they had the roast of her there. And it was, other people were on the dais or the docket or whatever and it was just like it was interesting it was fun

but it was also like there was a moment you're like oh this is me because they're sitting right there and you think like the kids were there oh yeah bro it's like eight kids just staring at you rip on them that'd be crazy bro she was there she was there but it was just kind of a lot bro and I couldn't tell if she was trying to flirt or whatever

and I was like I'm getting out of here you know yeah you can't You can't even, you need to wear two condoms. Oh, I wouldn't even sneeze. God forbid. You got, yeah, you can't even sneeze. I wouldn't even let an eyelash fall out of her. The next thing you know it, you have eight children.

Oh. And blessings to her children. Let's get a gander out of a moment of see him. And who knows, now she may, you know, I can't imagine what that's like, no way. Updated. Oh, is that them now? They all look like. Wow, they look healthy and good.

Yeah, they look like they all, like they weren't one of eight. Yeah. They look like they were their own. Imagine how that's got to be to break out of like, you know. I mean, how much could they have weighed when they were born? You got eight kids in there.

You got eight kids? I probably, I would guess how much they weighed. Let's guess. And we'll wage. Whoever wins? What's the price? I don't know.

Do something for like moon research or whatever. $30 towards moon research. $30 towards moon research? I think. It's probably going to end up just somehow going to Israel, but we'll just, we'll call it Moon Research. I think, you got to size, eight, if there were five,

there's no way she could be. This is a good game show question, isn't it? Yeah, it is, right? There's no way she can be walking around with, the average kid when they're born is like six, seven pounds, right? So there's no way she's walking around with 50 pounds of kids in that. Right, yeah, that's a lot. Now look at the, you can get her gander at it right there,

when she got that front really launched. and that thing That is crazy So I'm gonna say Damn I'm gonna say they were about They had three and a half pounds each Something like that

You're going three and a half I'm gonna go I'm gonna go yeah 3.15 That's still crazy That's still 20 something pounds a kid And oh you're right You're right yeah that's crazy But they can't be much less than three pounds

I'm going 2.2 All right 2.2 which means for eight kids She was still hauling around 17 pounds Yeah 17 pounds That's a 2.2 was a small kid. Well, does it, can we find out?

3.4. Oh, no way. On the Solomon Octopulets before. Oh. Octoplets. Born on January 26th, 2009, weighed between one pound, eight ounces and three pounds, four ounces. Oh, so some of them.

That's double the other kid. A one pound eight ounce kid is wild, bro. That's wild. When were they born? 2009? that's about 24 years after Amy and Stu Shankman got married. Hey.

God bless the Shankmans. And we wish a million more years. If you ever get to meet with them, man, I want to see the tape. I want to see the tape of you guys meeting up together. So you got Manus, your new show. Manusche is in the show and foul play.

Fowl Play is on now on TBS. People can check it out. with Anthony Davis. And he's in every episode? Yeah. Okay, great. He's in every episode. And all of the athletes and stars

and stuff like that. And, yeah, I'm on tour, Savlocanocomedy.com for tickets. Got up to June announced, but I'm going to be doing all of Canada in October and I'm going to be doing UK and Europe in 27. Yeah, yeah. And then probably come back around

and get the last few cities I haven't gotten to here, maybe film this next special, maybe in Boston or something like that. I love Boston. Yeah. Do you think your family will go hit the road with you? I'm going to try to maybe take them out to the UK.

Yeah, I visit Ari out there and stuff. Oh, yeah. So that should be fun. And then, yeah, and then what else? I guess, yeah, Jokers will be out. Start in July, it'll be season 13. It's crazy. Well, you guys can find everything.

We'll share all the links, man, and we'll share everything for you, dude. And Sal, thanks for coming and just spending time with us. Of course, man, thanks for having me. I love you. It's kind of cool. I love you, too, man. And thanks for just telling us about the shankmans and just...

Let's find them. I can't wait. Yeah, I got to look. You're going to help me find them, man. Amy and Stu. The Shankmans, they're looking for you. All right, blessings, bro. Thank you so much.

Got it, baby. Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Background. I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones.