This Past Weekend - #667 - Duncan Trussell
Episode Date: July 8, 2026Duncan Trussell is a stand up comedian and podcaster. Check out his shows “The Duncan Trussell Family Hour” and “Mystery Boys” w/ Kurt Metzger. Duncan joins Theo to talk about the peril...s of pioneer times, how we can escape the prison of algorithms, and what enlightenment really looks like. Duncan Trussell: https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell/ ------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/theo to get your $20 bonus investment today! Manscaped: Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s episode! Get 15% OFF + Free Shipping on The Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra in colorway Desert Sand with code “THEO” at http://Manscaped.com! Mountain Dew: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at http://mountaindew.com Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on our episodes. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Mail stuff to: ATTN: TPW PO BOX 40137 Nashville TN 37204 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend X: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You know, America's 250th birthday is coming up.
That's going to be a big cake.
And who's even going to blow out the candles on one?
Or probably maybe Thomas Jefferson will come down from the clouds and huff and puff and puff a few out.
Maybe Betsy Ross or Frederick Douglass.
I don't know.
Somebody is going to come on down and just huff and puffed them cake candles out.
Happy 250th America.
And an iconic summer like this deserves an iconic drink.
I'm talking about Mountain Dew. Yep, an American original.
From their beginnings in the foothills of Tennessee, yeah, that's where they started.
To the biggest 4th of July yet, the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew is the perfect companion to your American summer adventures.
USA, baby.
And you know, I get that taste of Mountain Dew in me and it just, oh, just makes my ankles start talking to each other.
God, I love it.
the refreshing kick of Mountain Dew, an American original, tasting great since 48.
Look for American Due limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at
Mountain Dew.com. That's Mountain Dew.com.
This episode is sponsored by Mountain Dew.
Look for American Due limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at Mountain Dew.com.
Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, podcaster,
and just a downright cosmic adventurer.
He's got his own show, The Duncan Trussell Family Hour,
and his new podcast, Mystery Boys with Kurt Metzger.
Always a blast, the one and only, Mr. Duncan Trussle.
What kind of cameras are you guys?
Jesus Christ, he's so inspirational.
These are flock cameras we're using.
Yeah, Palantir, baby.
Palantir.
We now work for Palantir.
These are, we're using flock cameras.
It's incredible.
This can see, this can see right all the way through my eyes, through my past, my history, all the way into my mother's body.
Past lives.
Yes.
Gets into your past incarnations, too.
It's pretty cool.
Tech is amazing these days.
We good, Zach?
Come about lighting.
You guys are good.
Look at this shit.
What do you mean?
You have a podcast.
You have a...
Fuck, dude.
This is next level.
Like, I love Josh.
in my studio is great, but I don't have this, like,
look at me, I look good in this light.
Dude, you definitely, bro, you look, I will say this.
It's the lighting.
It's Conestoga wagon times, right?
Like, it's the old days, and it's like, you know.
Yes.
There's a conestoga wagon.
Yes.
And it's stalled out on the side of the road, right?
Yes.
Because anything could have happened when you had a conestoga wagon
because you had wooden wheels, remember?
Yeah, I do.
And, dude, you could have gotten termites overnight.
Many things.
Termites.
I mean, just think of wooden wheels on some
old fucked up. There's nobody's paving roads back then. You're going through forest, creeks.
Your wife is guessing where a road could be. If she's still alive, if she doesn't have an arrow
through her throat, she's not choking on her own blood spray. Your wagon's stained with blood.
Yeah, you had 11 kids. Your wife has had kids this week. This week. Like that's, it was like that.
People don't realize what it was like. Oh, no. No, people don't. We know because we've had past lives.
Yeah, I remember. Oh, dude, I remember sitting on like,
like a hillside or whatever,
because everything back then was a hillside.
Yeah, all hills.
Remember that?
All hills.
Remember everything was a hillside?
It's like now there's like a lot of pavement.
There's flattened areas.
Thank you, CERN.
The fucking particle accelerator fucked everything up.
Now there's flat places.
It used to just be a series of hills.
Everything was a hillside.
I know.
Everything, dude, even people's bodies,
you'd have one, like you'd have the strong side of your father and the weaker side
because of how he walked to work.
That's right.
You know,
because you'd have to walk at an angle.
Everybody was...
Diagonal.
Yes.
Everybody walked diagonally.
It was so different.
But dude, in the, like, your wagon could easily, you wake up in the mind, like some
termites had showed up, right?
Like a gang of termites or Italians, some people called them, right?
Yep.
Showed up.
Yep.
And ate a spoke off your wagon wheel.
That's right.
And you got a flat.
Well, Italians used to eat wood.
Yeah.
So you would literally, you wouldn't even know what it was.
Was it like a wild ravaging group of Italians?
Or was it?
Yeah, you'd have no idea.
Yeah, Conestoga wagonwood was like the precursor to pizza apparently.
Oh, it's called the first pasta in some cultures, dude.
That's the craziest thing.
Doesn't Conestoga mean pasta?
It means pasta wagon.
Well, dude, it's just, of course, like, you could see like some strong-jawed Italian
showing up, right?
I mean, he's just...
Well, he's so strong-jawed just because, you know, his neck and everything is strong
from wearing all of his chains.
They wore like all the chains.
Yep.
And he's so jacked and he just sees a fucking warm wagon wheel.
It's warm because it's been rolling all day.
Yeah.
Plus the stink of birth, of wagon birth.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, you'd hear him come slithering out of the woods down the hill.
You're lucky if you were on top of a hill.
Because if you're at the bottom, they just sled on down.
Dude, you'd be standing at the bottom of a hill and an Italian would just roll right up against your leg.
Yep.
They just, that's how it is.
It's gravity.
Italians. Dude, back then their stomachs were just like, like, calloused underneath the
hair. It was just from sliding down those hills, attacking the wagons. It's a thick, sheenie callous
to help them slide. Terrifying times. People are a historic these days. And, you know, if we don't
remember history, we're fucked. Like, you've got to know what actually happened what this country
was founded on. And I want you to say that word again, people are a historic. Yeah. And what does that
mean, Duncan, when you say that? And people don't give a fuck about history. And people, you know,
They don't care.
No one's looking back.
Nobody, most people don't, and not just like with like U.S. history, world history, but like musical
lineages and stuff.
People just don't really care.
Well, reparations people are looking back.
Yeah.
They've got a, that's the ultimate rearview mirror as people.
Right.
Like if you ride in a car with somebody who's like big on reparations, they're like seven
rearview mirrors in their car, you notice that?
That's a lot.
But you have to stop.
Like with that kind of thinking, you do have to.
stop at a certain place. You can't, you have to, like, stop in a certain frame. You can't keep
going back. Right. You have to stop there is where you, but come on, man, wouldn't you,
like, if there was some way for you to get reparations, wouldn't that be amazing? Like,
people start, that's, that's an incredible income source, you know? If they can tap it, I think
one of the biggest groups, or some of the biggest groups that probably have, at least
called out to the gods of reparations, probably in our time, would probably be black.
I don't know if it's African Americans.
I don't know if it's black people in general,
but I think it would be some African Americans,
people that came from Africa into slavery
or their ancestors did.
And then Native Americans, like, what about,
that tab was never paid?
Listen, this is why we got to invent a time machine.
Because once we get that fucking time machine,
we could go back in time to the actual colonizers
and slaveholders and take their fucking shit.
That's true reparation.
because they're the ones who did it.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I mean, the idea of the reparations is like we, I mean, I'm not trying to call you out.
No, everybody knows you have slaves now.
But I am not a slave owner.
Come on.
We all know what's going on in Nashville.
Come on.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean, you guys can cut this out.
You guys can cut this out.
No.
But I, on the other hand, don't.
Oh, you're the unslave God?
It's not doing as good.
I don't get the numbers you're getting.
So, you know, you do, you should pay reparations, but otherwise we got to get a time machine, man.
What would we do? Here's the thing. I'm saying this, and I'm going to be honest with you, we get a time machine.
Yes.
We go back, first of all, in time, right?
And we get there, the colonizers, I just don't, how, what is our strategy going to be when we get there?
We've got guns. What do they have?
They have guns. That's how they did it.
Yeah, but not like AR-15s. They've got like shitty.
muskets and stuff. It's going to be very easy to colonize the colonizers.
What if there is a metal detector when you get into the time machine?
Disable it. Like, it's my time machine. You don't think you, what? You think that's just part of
the build? Like, it's just... You think a time machine is going to come without TSA, dude? You think
that the government and Israel is going to let us have a time machine without TSA.
You're right. They ruin everything, man. They ruin everything. You're going to have like off-market
underground time machines that are going to spigetify your ass. You're going to...
when you travel through time.
It's not going to be safe.
I will say this, bro.
They will have, like,
there's no way you're getting a TSA free time machine,
dude.
You're going to have, like, some lady over there who's like,
oh, you got a baby milk in there or something.
They always, like, the first,
the thing I hate this is the baby milk.
Or if you're even a woman with full tits,
they'll be like, yeah, what's in your tit?
They'll be like, oh, what's in your tits?
Is it baby milk?
Dude, I feel so bad for old people,
pregnancy and new parents going through TSA
because like they get fucked up.
They're aggressive with them.
They like make you disassemble the baby carriage.
They scan the baby.
It's like what the fuck?
Yeah, they're like you're gonna need to open his diaper up and I'm like,
what are you doing?
What do you think's in there?
It's crazy.
Now I'm a fucking peeping time just because I'm second in line now.
It's like I'm getting drawn into crimes.
We're about to travel with a whole family,
Theo and like, are you?
And we got a new baby.
We got a five month old.
And I just,
I just got to prep because they do not treat you kindly.
God help you if you're a breeder and trying to travel on the fourth of fucking July.
You are my wife.
I'm fine.
You just have to stand on the other side and you just watch it happen.
The pat down.
The disassembly.
The scrutinizing of the tits.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's the worst.
And the worst is if they look at your wife's tits like they wouldn't have any milk in them.
Right. Like, what do you think's in there? There's a baby right there. What do you think she's got nitroglycerin in her tits?
What do you think she's fucking, yeah. Why? Why are you doing this to us? The kids are screaming babies?
What do you think? What do you think what's happening here? Bringing my dad's ashes, too, to scatter them. So it's like going to be double. It's going to be the most dramatic TSA of all time. Because I just am so worried about, like, what are they going to do with my dad's ashes? Yeah. Are they going to search them? What's in there? What's in my? What's in my? What's in my?
dad's ashes. I have no idea.
Oh, sometimes it's a molar. I know.
There has been a, look, what is that? What's the most common thing found in human
remains, uh, in dad's ashes?
Dude, and Duncan, uh, good to see you, dude.
Good to see you, Theo.
Thank you. Just making a laugh. The most common thing found in your dad's ashes.
This is actually interesting. Take it through this, if you don't mind, Duncan.
Oh, I'd love to. Calcium carbonate. Of course, that's some bone stuff. Trace
minerals such as sodium, potassium, and magnesium, trace metals, implants like surgical screws,
pins, or dental fillings after processing. Oh, that's pretty cool. Bourbon crystals. If you had
a Southern dad. Oh, I see. Yeah. Oh, just from like a salt buildup or something? He'd have
bourbon crystals buildup around his bones. Just crystallized bourbon whiskey. I could see that. A little bit of
probably some racial jokes.
a lot of dads would have like you're just sifting through the sand of your father and like a
just like an inward flies out of it at least 30 polack jokes you like no one even understood why your dad
was always making you didn't you didn't know what a polack was when you were a kid but like they
were apparently really dumb based on your dad's shitty poloac jokes oh man dude
Duncan Truzzle, thanks for being here today, dude.
Happy to be here.
And dude, I want to say also, congratulations.
You and Kurt Mads Grave a new podcast, the Mystery Boys.
That's right, yeah.
Dude, it feels like producer Trevin, he was talking,
oh, is that a bug?
Mosquitoes.
Or a spy.
Could be a spy drone.
Could be a drone.
Dude, if the drones get that small, we are.
They are.
They already are.
Well, let's don't, if we start there, it's going to, every podcast now starts there.
By the way, whoever's surveying us with your mechanical mosquitoes, you're an idiot.
It's a fucking podcast.
You could just watch the podcast.
You don't have to double film the podcast.
Dude, we've had people on and then had the room searched afterwards to make sure that they didn't leave like a listening device or something like that.
Oh, yeah.
You're getting that level of guests who are living in like, it's so crazy how like the more powerful you get, the more you live in a surveillance state.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like the Trump, he's the most surveilled.
person on the planet, right?
Like, he lives in the most high security place
of all time.
He must got, like, and it's not just, like,
secret service monitoring him.
Right.
It's people he, he thinks are his friends,
that he, I bet he doesn't even know that.
I bet he doesn't even care.
I bet he does.
You think he does?
You got to feel that.
You've got remote viewers from, like,
various countries, trained psychic spies.
You've got ghosts.
You've got, you know, a variety.
Eavesdropping ghosts.
Eavesdropping ghosts, malevolent entities, time travelers.
You've got witches actively cursing you at every hour of the fucking day.
Think of the way.
That's why any president, look at them.
Look what happens to them.
They melt down.
They're crushed by just the sheer weight of occult energy being leveled at them by all variety of sorcerers, necromancers,
garden variety witches, like hardcore mountain wizards.
You just don't even know what's coming.
Zusayers, R-E-I counter-employees.
Yes, evil eye in you.
Just like, you've got the evil eye on you at all the time.
And so you just get all fucked up and you, like, look at Trump.
He's got those splotches now.
He's like, he's like falling asleep.
Obama, look at Obama.
He looked like a ring wraith when he came out.
Oh, he was white by the time he got out.
He was.
He's totally like just withered all of them with him.
Obama, look at this.
Look at 2009.
Hope, Joy, 2016.
you've blown up countless innocent families with drones.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, just doing Clinton's work, still doing Clinton's work.
Look at fucking Lincoln.
I know.
All of them.
It does it to all of them.
Look at that.
Well, first of all, there were only two photos ever of Lincoln taken.
So all we have is a before and after of him, dude.
Yeah, it's true.
That's true.
And also, people look like.
He was probably 23 in both of those pictures.
Dude, you know what's pretty wild?
I was thinking about this the other day.
There's not another famous person with the last name Lincoln.
Whoa.
I don't know any Lincoln's.
Like there's him,
Abraham.
Was that his name?
Or Abram?
Abraham.
Abraham Lincoln.
And then Mary Todd Lincoln was his wife.
Yep.
Who was kind of like,
and then his son, Tad Lincoln, I think, who died.
No shit.
At a young age.
What did Tad die of?
But no other famous Lincoln's, think of one.
I don't know any.
That's pretty unbelievable.
I know.
a lot of people whose first name is Lincoln.
I don't know any famous.
Oh, there you go.
Edward Baker, Lincoln.
He died on February 1st at age three, tuberculosis.
These are the kids.
These are his children.
William Wallace Lincoln.
Wow.
Cool name.
Died at the age of 11.
Typhoid fever.
Thomas Lincoln known as Tad.
His cause of death is tuberculosis, pneumonia, or heart failure.
Holy shit.
But people don't, people do not.
understand. And we do not understand. That, this was the president of the United States. And three of
his kids died by the age of 18 of tuberculosis. Um, whatever. The other one was, I think just,
and one of them probably was gay and they killed him. That's always happened. That was one out of
three kids. Yeah. And then they say, they say that they give it a bigger name. Yeah. Like pneumonia.
Heart failure. Yeah. Heart failure. Yeah. Heart failure.
Oh, we know what happened.
But, dude, isn't that the craziest way to describe gay?
It's like, he should love a woman, but...
He had heart, his heart was failing.
But his heart failed and liked men.
And he fell into the pigs.
Fell into a pig pin and was devoured.
Dude, I'll tell you.
Really, it looks like he was, like, planning for a beautiful day.
You had a picnic basket.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
He had a letter to Randall in it, you know.
Dale Randall, I know that you're all but a peasant, my father's president.
But, you know, I'll tell you.
That's why, think of how wild it is.
You have three children.
Four.
You have four fucking children, dude.
Yeah, you just had another child while we're finishing this sentence.
Yep.
But just imagine that.
Go on.
Anywhere you were you saying?
No, you didn't finish your point.
Imagine, like, when you have kids, you can no longer watch Dateline.
I used to be able to, when I was single, I could watch Dateline.
Some murderer came in.
Killed a bunch of kids.
Exploded a house with kids and it killed them.
and the kids watched and, you know, it sucks.
It's sad.
Right.
Whatever.
Yes, date line.
When you have fucking kids, anything about a kid dying, any, it's like your DNA changes,
for real, even dads.
Wow.
So it hits so hard.
Losing three of your children, I can't even imagine.
I can't even imagine.
You're not sleeping anymore.
You can't, you're just a walking corpse.
You're gone.
Your heart is never going to be better after that.
So that might explain why Lincoln looked like shit before he got assassinated, no offense.
But this is what it's like.
You know, this is human existence.
That's how, you know, becoming a breeder really teaches you.
When you choose to have something, when you choose to create more.
And then we're all, we're all, there's always been some form of, like at that time where everybody was a slave to the lack of knowledge, maybe.
Oh, yeah.
Is that a realistic thing?
Oh, I think so.
I think like back then you get an infection.
you're dead.
They're sawing your arm off.
I don't even think they had like,
they had ether.
They didn't have like the incredible anesthesia
that we have right now
where they can dial in just the dose.
They know the exact amount of time
before you wake up.
Back then,
I think they were just like putting a rag on your face
if you're lucky.
Or somebody,
sometimes would just whisper your ear
like this,
you're not feeling anything,
you're not feeling anything.
You don't feel this.
You're dreaming.
You're dreaming.
You're just sawing your fucking arm off.
That was what it was like.
Look, you're dreaming, dude.
This is actually.
You guys are good.
1850s average cause of death tuberculosis.
And what was tuberculosis?
Let me say real quick.
The single biggest killer in many places, especially among adults and children, which is
everyone, it's a weird thing to say.
In one 1867 Kentucky sample, 18 of 100 deaths were from consumption.
Similar patterns held in 1850s.
What is consumption?
Can you give me some?
Can you also be looking up what tuberculosis is?
I think that's what they called it consumption, right?
Like that was the name for consumption.
But dude, imagine you get invited probably one week.
at school. You're a school kid, right? Consumption is an archaic historical term for tuberculosis,
a highly contagious bacterial infection primarily attacking the lungs. Oh, coughing up blood.
Happened to Edgar Allan Poe's wife, she died at tuberculosis. Like, just everybody, you would have
little, this is, I think, where the handkerchief in the pocket came from. It's like you wanted to
politely cough up blood in front of people at dinner parties and stuff. So, yeah, because if you were poor,
you just coughed it into your hand or whatever.
Got consumption.
That was what it was like back then.
But dude, imagine one weekend as a kid.
This could be a real life of a child back in the day.
Yeah.
You go to a kid's party one weekend.
Some kid is having his fifth birthday party,
which at this point is probably one quarter of his life.
Right.
He's about to go to work in the factories.
Yeah, he'll be at war in two years.
Two years.
He's going to be fighting.
Yeah, he's getting ready to go to work.
So this is like almost work and age.
You go to his birthday.
And the next weekend, you could conceivably go to a,
a funeral of another of another child or adult every i guarantee that like every sunday you're going to a
funeral back then like you like a sunday you're not going to a funeral is a good sunday right just go to
any like any old graveyard look at all those little graves dude kids were dying left and right
it was a miracle for a kid to survive sometimes it'll be like rick and it was like he's 11 years or
something oh yeah yellow fever you know where where i come from in georgia uh this
cemetery where my my family's buried it's just like filled with these old graves and it's all
yellow fever it's all just weird old diseases and some yellow fever some people think it's because
you people hate asians so much that they die that their heart snaps that's not it right yeah
we're talking to be the original one yeah yeah actually yellow fever is my favorite k-pop band like
there you know i'm just sorry i'm so sorry i do have i'm sorry it's hilarious dude um
They know what's going on, dude.
Do you, have you ever heard of Peter Diamandas?
No, I haven't.
So he's like, it's interesting because there's like a group of people who are, who look at the world right now from a historic perspective.
Okay.
And they're like, shit is really good right now and it's going to get better.
That's what Rogan always says.
It's shit's the best it's ever been.
Well, and people hear that.
If you don't know this sort of thing, and some people don't, if you don't realize that, like,
if you have electricity,
you're doing pretty good.
You're a modern-day wizard.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, you could just flip a switch
and lights come on,
and you could take a shit and flush it,
and it goes bye-bye.
And it goes to a poorer neighborhood?
Well, I used to go out the window.
You'd fucking, you'd shit in a chamber pot,
throw it out the window where it land
in puddles of, like,
blood from people with concerns.
Or just some kids playing.
And I bet he was honestly probably like good luck.
It's almost like you know when like a butterfly lands on your shoulder or something now.
It's like good luck.
Or if you see a clock, it says 11 11.
But like if you were taking a walk and you just got hit by a bit of the king's shit, you know?
Slotted by shit today.
Things are looking up.
Yeah.
Oh, a bit of a king's shit on me.
Yeah, man.
Oh, thick shit from the king.
Nothing better than a king's thick shit.
Bro, because no one else had thick shit back then?
Only the Kings.
Who else would have a thick shit?
Everyone's shit was watery, watery shit.
The King shit.
It was Memphis coffee, dude.
Yeah, Memphis coffee.
But the King's shit, he was fucking serving, plaster of Paris, brother.
Powerful, charismatic.
Probably smelled good.
Alluvial.
Yeah, yeah, it was, you know, royal shit.
Medieval Kings ate a diet that was far more varied,
and depending on period and region,
often less dominated by meat
than the roasted turkey, like stereotype.
Roasted meats.
Yeah, that seems like normal stuff.
But yeah, dude, if you, God.
And I bet some people,
and I bet there were some people almost like,
they're down on their luck
and they would just hang out outside of like a,
like a, because the king's toilets were up like in the air.
They were built like, you know,
on the second floor or third floor of the castle.
And just a hole would come out of the wall.
Well, back then you would,
Now, I happen to be an expert on the sewage systems in castles.
Oh, good.
No, I want to know about this.
I studied it all through school.
You'll see here that, now that's nice, but some castles, you would shit down into a pit.
And then the way that you would get lice off your clothes, because everyone was covered in lice back then,
is you would put your clothes out over an open.
toilet and medieval toilet and all the ammonia from the shit would kill the lice. So you were wearing
clothes that had been lice-free, but, you know, like...
Shit-scented. It smelled like a porta-potty. It smelled like a Coachella portapotty. And that was a
clean shirt back then. Yeah, medieval toilets, commonly known as garter robes were built over waist shafts or
pits that discharged directly in moats. They featured a surprising dual-purpose. Nobles used the ammonia-heavy
air from the toilet pits to store and de-louse clothing as the fumes were believed to kill
clothes lice and fleas dude that's unbelievable like god you smell like shit but god no lice no lice
come on over no lice you get to pick yeah come on over and touch this puss come on over touch
this wiener if you were gay i just de louse my underwear yeah a lice free pussy back then god
can you imagine going finally you don't have lice crawling a little
of your face or your vagina or your or your or your the end of your wiener if you're a man
dude the end the very end of your wiener almost looks like a little bit of like a vagina you notice
that are you kidding it's all i think about yeah it does though oh it does mine is special
well yeah it's amazing you could you can you can oh it's another pocket well when i was a child they
had i had a i was born with a very small weaner hole
So I could pee like 15 feet.
Did it expand?
I had to go get a surgery.
You really did?
Yeah.
So it was fused a little bit.
Yeah, it was a little fused, dude.
And I mean, I could piss, dude.
I could wash a cat's eye from 15 feet away.
So good.
Did you ever wash a cat's eye?
I mean, I could have.
Dude, you could have.
That must have been painful, though.
Oh, I'd surprise a fucking, and nobody knew it was urine because it just came at such a rip.
A rip.
A fucking rip of fucking yellow.
piss. Oh, it was like, uh, it was loud. Oh, and it had a Roger Clemens sort of, it was a,
that's painful. It's like pissing on ecstasy. It hurt. Oh, oh, it started to burn me at a certain
age I didn't mind it. But once you're getting in that age where you want to piss fast, dude.
Yes. Because we had a time in our town, everybody was pissing real fast. And I remember,
like, it's just when kids are like, how fucking fast can you piss you little f*** it or whatever.
Oh, yeah. And you're like, I'll piss fast. You got to piss fast. And you're straining, but it hurts.
It fucking hurts.
But that's when I was, dude.
Oh, I was waw.
Yeah.
I would wash a bottle of whiskey that was sitting on a show.
It's a power washer.
Yeah.
You could clean off graffiti with your piss.
Yeah, dude, I could definitely, I could clean the rims on your car.
Fucking.
And there's money in that.
There's money in that.
Today's episode is in partnership with Manscaped.
The men's grooming brand.
Trusted by over 13 million men worldwide.
That's a lot of men, baby.
We didn't.
fellas. It's smoothsack summer. Yep, it is. It's officially in session. So if your grooming
games, been a little wild lately, this is your sign to tighten it up downstairs and beyond.
You know, everywhere, huh? That's why I've been using the Manscape Lawnmower 5.0 Ultra in the new
desert sand color way. You know what I'm talking about. The updated
Trimmer blade features longer, wider, and rounded teeth to tackle hair effortlessly.
And let's not forget the best part.
It's still waterproof.
That's the best part.
Whether you're hitting the beach, the pool, or you're just trying to survive shorts wearing
season like myself.
Do yourself a favor and upgrade your grooming routine.
Get 15% off plus free shipping with code Theo at manscape.com.
That's 15% off in free shipping with code Theo at manscaped.com.
You know, in the past, I was hesitant to invest.
I didn't know how to do it, you know.
I'd give my money to somebody and I didn't know what was happening to it.
And they'd be juggling it or something and just, I didn't know what to do.
And I just, when it came to invest and I felt like I didn't know enough.
You know, so many of us, we can only focus on where our money is today.
Acorns is the financial wellness app that cares about where you're,
money is going tomorrow.
Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow.
It's easy.
You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money in minutes,
even if all you've got is spare change, whether you're just starting out or thinking about
settling down.
Acorn supports your big and small goals across every life stage.
Sign up now and join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and
invested over $27 billion with acorns. Plus acorns will boost your new account with a $20
bonus investment. Offer available atacorns.com slash Theo. That's acorns.com slash theo.
To get your $20 bonus investment today. Terms and conditions apply. Seeacorns.com
slash terms for details. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to
positively promote acorns tier two compensation provided potential subject to various factors such as
customers accounts, age and investment setting.
Does not include Acorns fees.
Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorn's portfolio.
Investment will vary.
Investing involves risk.
Acorns'LC.
And ICCRestored, Investment Advisor.
View importantness closer at Acorns.com slash the O.
But God, what are we talking about, dude?
You know, what we're talking about, I think.
Oh, it's just how it's been bad.
It's been bad for a long time.
And in some ways, this may be the best that it's ever been.
I do want to talk, though, that you guys do have Mystery Boys podcast.
Yes.
Because do you feel like, because you and I have both had a series of podcasts over the years.
Do you still have your own podcast?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is my newest podcast with the brilliant Kurt Metzger, the mystery boys.
He's on my prayer list.
I know that.
He's awesome.
And he's just, man, his brain just absorbs esoteric information.
Yes.
He remembers like names of ancient grimouars that are hard to pronounce.
His knowledge of occult history is amazing.
It's like, it's just a brilliant, dude.
Oh.
Dude, his knowledge of Shazards from.
another realm.
It's something we can't fathom.
I also, one thing I love about Kurt is I love his voice.
He has a great voice.
Oh, yeah.
It's fun to listen to.
It's this kind of futuristic but ancient sort of hodgepodge of soundery, you know?
Oh, and he's like connected to some of the most interesting people, the guests he's been
getting.
We've had somebody who was on, who claims to be in a secret space program.
I think that's this week's episode.
No, it's last, it's a two-parter.
But this dude claims that in the military,
he was essentially inducted into this top secret program where, I mean,
most people don't know this.
But the United States has been engaged in a kind of galactic war.
We're being run by reptilians.
Gray aliens are essentially like IT workers.
People don't realize that.
One of the stories he told,
And what's so interesting about his stories are the details.
They take him into this office.
They're about to introduce him to this program.
He's passed an IQ test.
Apparently you have to have a very high IQ to get into this program.
Very high.
And it's not a normal, like, written IQ test.
Right.
They have some futuristic thing that just can tell if you're a dumbass or not.
And he passes this.
They bring him into an office.
A gray alien waddles out.
No.
from what behind a curtain or a door a door like a little i guess a cat door so like it just comes
a waddling using a door that's the part i don't get i wish i'd ask because he would have an answer
he would have a great answer for that i in my view it's like a cat door like maybe a mid-sized
cat door okay he comes waddling out long fingers and he starts working on a dell computer
he just they use him as i t he just starts unscrewing a dell computer i guess the
put more memory in it or something.
And they were looking to see how he would react
to the fact that the gray alien was working on a
fucking computer. And it's, the story
is amazing. He gets in trouble.
Bring it up. Can we show the episode just what it is?
Yeah, he, uh, he got in trouble. So he got in trouble
because the first time he met a reptilian, he poked the reptilian in
the eye. And reptilian see humans is essentially
just like below snails. Like we are look,
were just hideous foul animals.
And to poke one of these things in the eye
means you are going to be tortured.
When you poke it in the eye,
did he say if it feels like an eye
like as if you poked one of us in the eye?
Or is it almost just like putting your finger
into like a gelatin or like a water?
Oh my God. I wish you'd been there.
Like a pool of water.
You're going to have to come.
We're going to have to have you on the show
because that is the level of interviewing skills.
I don't have.
Why didn't I ask?
What does the reptilian's eyeball feel like?
I didn't ask.
I missed it
They obviously have
Because their eyes are just these fucking bird baths
Into another realm
Oh dude
They're evil
They're fucked up
The reptilians are really fucked up
They torture
They took him
Yeah did he get tortured
Dude
Okay hold on
Dude
I do want to hear of it
I also have to laugh
Because it always makes me laugh
Dude
Because here's the crazy thing
And I'm gonna get right back to it
We're going right back
Please
Alians
They're fucking bullies
Oh my God
Oh my God. I'm so glad you're saying it out loud.
And nobody ever says it, dude. All they do, they take somebody away.
They, like, kind of put their knuckle in their butt or something or they're fucking like, you know, fuck them in the mouth.
They're just, they're dirty.
Dude, I wouldn't be surprised if you were in the Secret Space program based on what you're saying.
It's almost a direct account of how they torture you.
Did he say he knows what happened?
Let me try to kill this fly, dude.
Actually, maybe let's let's let science have its way.
Let's see what goes for.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's see who it ends up.
Let's see who it drains.
At the end, it's going to drain one of us.
This is a new game show.
At the end, there's a fly that's flying around.
Whoever it doesn't like or whatever, or whoever it does like really is the one who's blood it takes.
Yeah.
Let's see.
I think there's two.
That's a problem.
Oh, yeah.
There are probably a couple of guys.
It's probably Ted Lincoln and his buddy.
Come on.
Take the blood.
Yeah, they use your.
Yeah, sorry.
Did they say what happened?
Did he say what happened?
How did the torture go?
they first of all they didn't torture them on earth as it turns out on the moon there are these like government facilities where they are mining helium oh we did so they did it at their place or whatever they took no the the u.s military because the u.s. military is in control of the reptilians they transported him to a moon prison where this guy you interviewed yeah he was on a prison on the moon and how did he get to the how do he get to the interview to send an uber what i don't know i
they get on to the moon it's no how do you get to the your interview calling yeah called in from
florida he called him from florida dude which is basically our version of like be like that's our
version of like alienism these days that's right it's a call in from florida he called in from
florida he's a he's a very sweet guy by the way really good storyteller and
And here's where it gets really weird.
So, you know, they're torturing you up there on the moon.
And but also, as it turns out, was he Mexican guy?
Sorry, you interrupted you.
Was he Mexican guy?
I don't know what's ethnicity.
It was a call-in, so I didn't get to see him.
Why do you ask?
Because all Mexican dudes want to go to space, you know?
They don't act like it.
None of them act like it.
But I got like a couple of close Mexican friends.
They all want to go to space.
Well, don't you want to go to space?
Yeah, kind of.
Not that much anymore.
Like, I don't know.
Like I'll, like, if I'm going, I'm going to leave.
I'm not going to go out there and come back.
I'm not going to be some little bitch that it's like, I'll be back or whatever.
You're not going to bezos.
You're not going to go up at a little fucking dick rocket and float around up there.
I don't even think Bezos went up there, did he?
I think, did he go up there?
He just sent up like five or six people that I think that I heard that he wants to smash or whatever.
Dude, of course.
And then brought him back down.
It was like one, it's like some of his little flying smash buckets.
Yeah, he's been, he flew on a suborbible, suborbital.
I don't know if that counts, man.
Fuck no, dude.
Abort the new Shepard rocket.
I want to go out of orbit.
I want to go toward, like somewhere in between Earth and the moon.
Dude, you can hit sub-ordable just taking a direct flight up to Calgary, dude.
Oh, wait, he did do it.
10-minute flight crossed the car, the Karmine line, the recognized boundary of space and
reach an apogee.
But, you know, Bezos sending a bunch of hotties up in his rocket is the modern-day
equivalent of, like, driving ladies around in your Corvette.
It's like what oligarchs do to get laid.
You're right.
I'm going to send you up to space.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
You know.
That's true.
So the guy who's been to space and was molested in a moon prison gets ubered over to you.
Oh, he's a call in.
He was molested in a moon, but you're right.
This is, but how, see.
And I'm sorry, it's not funny.
Let me know.
Well, first of all, whether or not it's funny or not.
I need to point out something.
Theo.
I did not say he got molested in the moon prison.
You knew it.
Why?
Why do you know that?
Were you in the gate program?
Yes.
Dude.
guys
oh my god
you weren't gifted and talented
you know what that was
yeah it was easy to get into
an art town
okay but do you know what it was
yes oh I've heard
there's that there's possibilities
that they were uh
it was like a CIA like a sci up
not a possibility like that is
you can look that up that
like no way are you serious
dude you can look it up it was so like
the idea was
it kind of makes sense
like if you're running a country
who are the smart kids right
you want to find
out like the super smart kids, you create a program that separates those kids from the rabble.
And then via that, in that program, you can start assessing them to see whether or not they'd be
good to work in intelligence. CIA, covert programs, or just like any like federal job.
And then you start grooming those kids. And where it gets like into the deep conspiracy stuff
is you, they were looking for kids
who had like, you know,
telepathic ability.
Oh, I thought nice legs or something
you were going to say.
Oh, you did that too.
It wasn't like that.
It wasn't like a pedophilic thing.
So go ahead.
They were looking for kids that had what?
Yeah, the secret, look,
because Gate and Gateway
public school,
operated by local school districts,
blah, blah, blah,
to provide military intelligence,
the secret military unit
focused on psychic espionage
and remote viewing,
often called the Stargate Project.
But what's that?
not our thing. Yeah, it is.
We were in military intelligence, dude. We weren't doing
shit. We read my side of the mountain. Well, right.
That's what you remember. But do you remember
the, did you get the weird headphone
test? Yeah. What the fuck was that?
Do you remember the weird shit they made you drink?
It kind of is true, dude. They had this
fucking headphone test. We would take like once every quarter.
Yeah, what the fuck was that?
What was that? What does that have to do with being gifted and talented?
Testing your hearing? What is
is that? Why did they put that on us? Why
did they make us drink that weird pink shit?
What were they doing to us?
Most people don't remember it as well as you do.
Most people, it's a foggy, weird memory.
The whole thing was some kind of bizarre federal program.
You think that that's true.
Look, I look, there's a now, I mean, this is one of the many, like, conspiracy theories
that is not so much a conspiracy theory anymore that you could look it up.
You could see some of it is obviously speculation.
Some of it's real.
So we don't know.
But yeah, what were they doing?
They wanted to find kids who would be great assassins.
Fuck, dude, and none of our kids made it then.
I didn't make it.
Did you make it through?
Did they kick you out of the gate program?
No, I stayed in.
Wow.
It got a little too homeworky for me at one point.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was a lot.
I wasn't a company man.
That's what it was.
At a certain point, I think I wasn't a company man.
You got it.
So funny, I have never thought about this in years, dude.
But yeah, we had to go off in this special building and learn out there or whatever.
Yeah, they separate you.
They separate you.
you. And it was very strange. I think I made it like two weeks before they kicked me out.
But yeah, I just think they were like the test didn't work. He's a fucking idiot. Like I don't,
I don't think it had anything to do with like compliance or not compliance. You seem like they would
be, you would have been their target. Well, I didn't make it. I didn't make it in. I didn't get to be
in the secret space program. And maybe that's a good thing. But yeah, according to this guy,
there's brothels on the moon. It'll change the way you look at the moon. There's brothels. The
miners on the moon are geniuses. Like, who's,
brought the fucking miners up there fucking it's like a is it lutnik in them or whatever dude i don't know
i you know you don't want to get lost in the weeds when a dude is telling you about fucking on the moon
yeah you're right because he was banging on the moon you're lying dude they have said he was fucking on the moon
they was fucking on the moon like gosh they have brothels they for the like for in between getting
tortured you get to go to the moon brothels and okay hold on it's the best it's the best it's the
What? Hold on a second, dude.
You got to just listen to the episode.
Like, I'm not even doing it justice because there's so much more detail.
There's kind of a love story.
He kind of like fell in love with a nurse.
Like, it's kind of romantic.
And, you know, he talks about all these densities.
Like, the way they shift you to get to the moon is like, like, like the reptilians are on the fourth density.
We're on the third density.
Aliens function like at a different vibrational frequency.
They have devices that shift.
shift your frequency and can reverse aid you.
So, basically-
I can see that would be impossible some of it.
You just, who knows?
Well, because you know what?
You start to see that frequency stuff.
You've seen that frequency when people put the sand
on certain things in frequency.
Symatics.
It's called cymatics?
Yes.
Yes.
Bring up some cymatics if you can,
just so we can see what we're talking about.
I love cymatics.
If you haven't seen this,
it's basically they put sand,
and correct me if I'm wrong, Duncan,
they put sand on a paint on like a flat plane.
Yeah.
And then they play music through it.
Yep.
And the sand forms certain, like,
kind of like snowflakes or tech.
like figures or textures or designs.
That's right.
Predictable geometries
from various frequencies.
It produces these like interesting patterns
that sometimes kind of look like crop circles
and that's ketamine on that plate.
Is it really?
It works way better with cats.
I would always do this before I snorted ketamine
and put it on a cymatic plate.
Set it to, yep, 47.
Dude, what if you crunched up a bunch of Fritos on there?
It would work.
It'd probably be like,
you're fat.
You'll die young.
Turns into a scale.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But this is real stuff.
So this is four to two.
Yeah.
So these are the hurts,
different hurts they put through.
And if you've never seen this,
it's unbelievable that.
So this makes me think that we could just like this some way that if you put a different
frequency through us,
you could then transfer us from one place to another because you could shape us in a different
way to be able to be transported.
Exactly.
And, you know,
what is like when I think of this shit, I just think of like, oh, right? Like when people get into
conspiracy theories and stuff, inevitably there's like this hierarchy where there's someone
controlling someone else who's controlling someone else and it's like it's reptiles all the way
down. Like where does it stop? Like who's like ultimately in control? But I think of cymatics where it's
like, well, maybe like the way things keep repeating throughout history and sort of
the same way because there's these various frequencies that exist on planet Earth. There's frequencies
that create power dynamics that create authoritarianism, tyranny, fascism, like cruelty, war. And you can
tune into that frequency. And the more you tune into that frequency, the more you like, your shape
changes. Why would that not be? Dude, that's such a, that's cymatics, the study of visible sound
and vibration demonstrating how acoustic frequencies organize physical matter in a geometric
patterns because the human body is largely water sound waves travel rapidly through us making it possible
to use frequency and vibration for various wellness therapeutic and clinical applications yeah dude this is
one of the most unbelievable things that i've really i think that i've thought about in a while because
if you see that do that to that sand right yeah and if you know yeah what if you put a frequency on
that's like i'm gonna feel this way or this is the frequency that's tuned into this almost like a new
radio station for yourself.
Like instead of tuning into like no frequency where I'm just at the whims of the fucking
at the byproduct and like exhaust of corporate, the corporate universe we live in,
I'm just wandering through that frequency all day.
What if I spent time tapping into a frequency that actually brought me some peace or
frequency that brought like, it made me exude like love or possibility or hope or power
or protection?
Yeah. Well, I mean, this is a choice. You know, you're sitting on the toilet, taking a shit, looking at whatever the algorithm's feeding you, you'll notice the algorithm.
And I'll throw the shit out the window. Hopefully it hits someone so it...
Well, you can aim. Right, but also so it hits someone and boost their spirits.
I know, but what I'm saying is you don't have to just randomly throw it. You can aim. You can slingshot it.
But go on. So you're sitting on the toilet going?
Well, all of us are like staring into these hypno-rectangles. The algorithm, at least my algorithm, oh my God, it's,
fucked up. It's just showing me like horrible things or people in the midst of psychotic episodes
or people in the forest drinking their period blood or, you know, just a, it's wild chaos.
It's witchcraft, new beverages. Yeah, but it's crazy, dude. You'll go from like, it is crazy,
dude. They're definitely scrambling our brains and they're, we're starting to, like, with the things
you see, because you'll see, like, uh, genocidal killings of children, right? Children.
looking, kid looking for his mother for 70 days.
Yes.
Finally finds landmine in Palestine, you know, like a landmine wearing his mother's dress.
Yeah.
And they killed the child or whatever.
Horrible.
You'll see that.
But then immediately it's like 40% off these A6s, you know?
And you're like.
That's right.
That's right.
But it starts to confuse your brain because your brain, it takes the depth of one that's so deep
and one that means nothing really at all.
You got it.
And then it puts them kind of all in the same plane.
You better watch out because you just.
articulated something that I've learned from Metzger, which is really, like it's, for me,
like, it's, believe it or not, I'm kind of skeptical about stuff, but this one, like, it's hard
for me to dispute. So he, he says that assassinations, public assassinations, create trauma,
cultural trauma, Charlie Kirk. Did you notice the Charlie Kirk assassination? Everyone saw it.
Yes.
Before they shut it down. All of us had to watch that shit happen, right?
So this produces trauma.
The trauma response opens you up to conditioning.
It's the same shit kidnappers use.
It's the same shit people who torture you use.
They freak you the fuck out so that you kind of disassociate.
You don't want to be there.
You go into a kind of sad, foggy place.
And then in that place, they show you the ASICs commercial.
In that place, they give you some propaganda.
In that place, they give you a solution so this will never happen again.
this is a known technique for mind controlling people.
So anytime there's assassinations, it's not just like power dynamic shift.
It's cultural dynamic shift because they inject that moment with however they want to shift the tide.
Right. So.
Wow.
So Instagram is or any social media is kind of doing this, but like low level.
Right.
So you look, you know, suddenly you're microdosing it.
Yeah, exactly.
Opening, like freaking you out.
do you know? And then where it gets really creepy is the commercial you're getting isn't just from
the algorithm. It's because your phone heard you talking about wanting to, like, what's the best
fish and rod to catch catfish? And then so right after you watch a furry eat a hot dog with a
human turd in it and you're like, what, what's happened in the world? Like an ad for like fishing
rods comes up. You're like, oh, cool. I should get that fishing rod. And dude, speaking hot dogs,
dude footlong hot dogs that should count as white people eating foot long hot dogs should count
as reparations dude i think oh my god disaster i'm just saying like disaster at a baseball game
whatever having to eat them in public dude it's so fucking scary it's crazy that that's that's
accepted that that's not studied yeah and that's the kind of thing that they're getting us to do
it's like these little they're and they're sitting in a fucking like globe like they're sitting
in a snow globe on the moon at a you know outside of a brothel on the moon that they own you know probably
just like uh descaling their skin with their like reptilian brush you got and then they're watching
us like just like streaming like countless hours of us eating footlong uh hot dogs you know and like
and then they say then they hit you with the reparations thing you know like will you sign for
reparations you know it's like yeah whatever it is it's like you know it's but the reality
of it is you're you know a vampire only goes where they're invited that's a vampire rule for some
reason never understood it but a vampire only goes so if vampire comes to your door they'll always ask like
can i come in and if you say no they won't come in i don't get it but that's vampire mythology so
your phone is the fucking vampire and you're inviting it in every time you stare at it you're saying
please contaminate me with a combination state propaganda propaganda probably
from other countries, corporate propaganda, and like, just weird shit.
Like, you're invited, we're all inviting this in.
All you got to do is stop, which I can't.
It's hard.
It's hard, it's almost impossible.
You can do, I think there's ways to do better.
The ways that I found that help me are, one, some meditation helps.
I do meditation every day now.
It's not a ton, 10 minutes, but it helps some days.
I'll get in two sessions.
It's not a ton, but it gives me a little bit more space sometimes.
I don't need that.
It would be times like, let me look at my phone now.
I don't need that.
And then the other thing I think is different types of plant medicine can help you,
can help give a little bit that more to connect you back to nature.
Those are the two that I know.
But it's too much, man.
I think 10 minutes of meditation a day is actually pretty admirable, man.
A lot of people can't do that.
You shouldn't beat yourself up about that.
I mean, like, how long were you told to meditate?
I don't know.
I just feel like the good people do it for such a long time.
20 minutes maybe?
Like, yeah, like 20 minutes seems good
But they did have those monks
Who were those?
Don't monks meditate?
Yeah, man
Yeah
Well, dude, but then they found those monks with meth or whatever
Can you look that up?
What?
Those meth monks?
Meth monks.
Oh yeah, were they smuggling dope?
No.
What was it?
A third of monks at a temple in Thailand
That's got to be hard to meditate.
A third of the Buddhist monks
at a temple in northern Thailand
Have tested positive for meth
Six out of 18 monks
at what problem in Pijit province
were disrobed after failing
surprised drug tests during a police
raid on Monday.
The officers also found meth pills,
a homemade gun and bullets hidden in the temple.
What the fuck? A gun. That's good.
Oh my God. A gun. Dude, a gun is the total opposite of being
a monk. That is a crazy temple and that is, I just,
do you think a meth would help you meditate?
A meth would help you meditate? No, you would be like
dude, you would be doing all the prayers
like as fast as you could.
It would be like, Our Father who are
down northernism
and I'll give us a right in the
amen.
I don't think those monks
are doing the Lord's prayer.
But that's what they're,
I think they're probably in a crazy contest online
to do the Lord's prayer
as fast as they can.
That's 11 seconds.
Oh, yeah.
Bro.
New record.
Fuck you, dude.
That's what they're.
they're doing. That's how, but dude,
that's how distracted we've got.
Monks are doing meth and they're having
contests to read the Lord's Prayer
as fast as they can. Probably.
And they had a gun, the guy had a gun.
You're paranoid.
You're fucking paranoid.
You're on meth. It's the next step.
You get a gun.
Dude, maybe you have a copy of the
Shantaram under your pillow.
Maybe.
That's the most risque thing you're supposed to have
is a monk. Yeah, dude.
That's wild. That's just, it just
I guess that's what's happening right now, man.
People are,
people are fucking snorting meth and temples.
They disrobed them.
I know.
Which is wild.
But I bet you're hot.
If you're all methed out,
I bet you want your robe off.
You're done.
You're not really a monk.
Yeah, dude.
My buddy was a monk for like almost,
I think almost six months or whatever.
What kind of monk?
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
It was in Oregon.
What color wears robes?
I think his robes is just orange kind of.
Probably a Buddhist monk.
Yeah.
Yeah, Buddhist monk.
and he said that they would sit around
and, this is kind of crazy,
but he said sometimes they would sit around
and draw hair on each other
because they all had their head shaved
and they would sit around for fun
and draw hair on each other
and it was kind of like the low-key
or whatever, like kind of a sweet thing
that I heard, you know?
It's weird.
I don't know, man.
I don't want it.
That creeps me out.
The other guys are doing methamphetamines.
I don't know what it's worse.
Our father,
They were probably drawing hair on each other too.
There should be a contest to see how fast can someone say the Lord's Prayer, dude.
You want to do a race?
Do you think you can do it?
Do you know it?
Yeah, I know it.
Okay, then let's try.
You go first, all right?
Zach, will you time us?
So you can tell me when it started.
Yeah, how does it work?
Two, one.
Our Father, in heaven, I will be thy name.
That kingdom comes.
That will be done in earth.
This is in heaven.
Give us this to our daily right and for gives our daily bread and for gives our trust.
those traps us against us and at least not in temptation but delivers for me for thine is the
kingdom of the power of the glory forever and ever amen oh that's good but i kind of slurred
nine point eight seven under ten's great dude especially this time of year all right um
you mean the summer heat let me think uh all right do me yeah three three one our father right now
and i'll be on earth heaven out of the other name the kingdom com that won't have been on earth's
and give us a day every other day or give us it and forget oh yeah another chance give another chance you
One more time from the top.
I missed some more.
Give us a...
Who's this day?
Our daily bread.
And forgive us of our trespasses.
As we forgive those are trespasses.
Let me try one more time.
Three, two.
What did it start again?
Sorry.
Our father.
Okay.
Our father.
Let's call our.
Okay.
Because we only had a stepdad.
Go on.
Three.
Two.
One.
Our father who aren't having a holiday of name of the kingdom coming.
That will be on our day of bread and give us and forgive it.
Give us his day our daily bread.
forgive those who trespassed against us.
No.
That's the devil getting in you there
making you stutter.
That's the mosquitoes.
That's the Texas devil flies.
Got your tongue.
That's a tongue burglosis.
Yes, right.
Got the consumption.
Spiritual consumption.
You got to let the Holy Spirit flow through you, Theo.
You pretty lady, won't you give her a sign?
I give anything to make your mind.
Praise God.
Praise God.
You know that Mountain Dew.
You know it.
It makes me think about
summertime.
that hot part of the calendar.
You know how it works.
You know when the calendar just gets hot.
It gets so hot.
Sometimes I'll call the government.
I'll say, can you turn it down?
We can't handle it.
It would get so hot.
And you'd have to open up the windows, but then the hot would come in, you know?
And then it would get so hot inside.
You have to open up the doors.
And the hot would go out and in and out.
It was just a lot of hot.
Thankfully, I had me some mountain dew.
Just a refreshing.
It was like the heavens cut the faucet on,
and I could just enjoy myself.
Just doing, just doing myself with that mountain dew.
I liked it.
If I had me a can of two, a mountain dew,
I'd go out.
I'd pet every dog in town.
That's how I just,
became like that neighborly American, you know? That's how I became. I'd be shaking the hands of local
raccoons and politicians and all of them, you know. I'd watch the wind go by, maybe whistle at it,
let it know I had a way of making my own little breeze right there. Something about that summertime
and just having a little bit of mountain dew in you.
you may you just want to get out there and just kiss a bald eagle.
You know, and sometimes you'd settle for your grandmother or whatever, you know,
a little kiss on a cheek, whatever, you know.
Pop-pop didn't mind.
What I'm saying is this, Mountain Dew, it's just, it's an alternative to the heat,
but it's also part of, it's part of summer.
But, dude, you win, first of all, congratulations.
Thank you so much.
9.8 seconds, that was really good.
Yeah, actually, I can't believe.
You know, that's wild.
For our father, under 10 seconds, that's, I think it's good.
And I would love to see other people if they want to challenge junkin on that.
They will crush me.
There's going to be critiques, too.
There's different ways to say it, depending on what denomination you are.
I think that was what I learned as an Episcopalian.
But I think there's, my wife's Catholic.
I think they say, parts of it are different.
But I don't know if that's going to add or subtract seconds.
Dude, my girl Catholic, but that p.
Baptist, you feel me?
Let's go.
Yeah, I hear you.
I'm just making it up.
I don't have a girl, but if I did.
You don't have a girl?
No, but she'd be cute if I did.
Wow, it must be tough to find a girlfriend for you, huh?
Just a handsome dude with a super successful podcast.
One day I'm going to get one.
I mean, it'll happen.
Famous comedian.
I think, you know what?
There was like an age where I think it gets a little bit weird, and then...
What do you mean?
Maybe I'm just...
You know what?
I think some of the stories I tell in my head I've got to change a little bit.
Yes.
Dude, there's...
And you know what's funny?
I never said that.
I've never said that before.
You've never said that.
Come on.
There's a book.
Not really.
No, but the ones I'm telling myself,
because I don't even realize they're being told.
They've just been written on this wall, like these old, like,
this is the way it is or whatever.
It's like, dude, I'm going to find somebody great.
Of course it takes time.
Everything in my life has taken time.
And I don't want to get somebody that's just like, you know,
like I want to have some fun.
But at the same time, like, yeah, I want somebody that's going to be as perfect a fit as I can get.
Dude, there's this book.
And it sounds like bullshit.
And I actually got the book because I was watching that documentary on Nexium.
You know Nexium cult Keith Renere?
You know about that?
Yeah, we had a guy on here from Nexium, didn't we?
No, we had a guy who got bit by a dog at a nexium event.
What?
I'm not even joking.
Who was that guy?
That sucks.
He was fine.
He was like at a cult event and a dog bit.
And he got bit by a dog, but that's how he got involved with the cult.
Whoa.
Oh, no, Michael Orrin's mom.
No, not him.
That's out.
Yeah.
he was talking about Allison Maxxx cult.
Yeah.
There was another guy who'd been cured of, oh, he got cured by, of, um.
OCD.
Yeah, cured.
Cured by Nevexum.
Yeah, cured by Nevexum.
Mark Elliott.
Yeah.
Bro, look at me right there.
He was young.
It's AI.
You look younger now.
Well, I'm older now, but also not if I, if I'm definitely older if I keep telling myself that I'm a
fucking boss.
I'm a fucking nine-year-old, you little f***.
Mark Elliott, an informal motivational speaker and loyal follower of Keith Reneer and his organization of XM, a purported self-improvement company.
I believe he got bit by a dog.
I could be wrong, but I thought the dog, something happened.
He got cured.
He was diagnosed with Hirstsprung's disease.
A rare intestinal disease at birth.
Elie was returning home from a camp via Greyhound bus when he repeatedly shouted an anti-black racial slur at black passengers.
That's called riding greyhound, first of all.
at the end.
I think some of that comes
with the price of your ticket,
I believe also, okay?
I rode G-Hound for a long time.
Shotout Hound.
Oh, because he had Tourette's though.
That's why.
Did he ever cure it, did they say?
He claims they cured it.
He cured it.
It's in the documentary.
Like, it shows people being like,
it did not cure my Tourette's in any way.
Oh.
Oops.
Why did we have him on the podcast?
He said he did.
In the documentary that I saw,
it was,
well, I mean,
it was claiming that they cured.
Oh, well, so maybe it says it didn't, it didn't cure his Tourette's, but I thought I can't remember exactly what happened on the episode.
It was just like seven years ago.
On the documentary I saw, it was, you know, some people, it seemed like it was helping.
But I heard about this book on this documentary.
I was fascinated by this Reniery guy because it's like you see him and he doesn't really seem like somebody who would successfully start a sex cult.
Bringing him up.
You know what I mean?
No judgment or anything.
but it wouldn't be like the first person I would guess you look at like put put put up a picture of like
young Charles Manson right and Keith Renary manson you look at and you're like okay there he is right
this dude was getting ladies to brand his name into their fucking bodies no way yes yes now now you
look at him and you wouldn't guess that but pull up like a picture of Manson that's a Montana
young manson bring young manson or not that young but you know that Manson I could see you
You look at him, you're like, yeah, I can, I could see you starting some kind of sex cult.
I could see your members cutting swastikas into their foreheads, but this dude looks like,
like somebody, your mom, dates before she marries your stepdad.
But this dude does look like he has a dark side to him, dude.
Oh, yeah.
This is just all based off of one photo, but that guy looks like, yeah.
Yeah.
He dates your mom.
You think he's nice.
He comes in the house and says cool stuff.
Yeah.
But he doesn't come through with kind of his promises.
And then you see him yelling at your mom outside of the apartment window.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
That's that fucking dude.
That's what it is.
Keith Rainier, could we get him on here?
He's in jail.
He is?
Maybe he could call him from jail.
Dude, jail, that's the most sex trafficking you could ever do.
It's bumper to bumper in there, dude.
I know.
He, in this guy, he, like, it's, the documentary is incredible.
And, you know, obviously, like, it's horrible.
Like, doing the shit's horrible.
But when you just watch it in terms of, like, whoa, like, the ambition, like, oh, my God,
how did you pull that off?
And so they mentioned this book, Psycho-Cybernetics, which sounds like horseshit.
The name sounds stupid.
But I got this book and started listening to it.
And it's this plastic surgeon wrote the book.
And he noticed that you would give plastic surgery to people and their personalities would change, fix their nose.
And they would turn into these different people.
And so his premise is that there's sort of an interoperative.
visual image of yourself inside of you. And so basically, like, if you look at what you think
about throughout the day, and a lot of people worry, ruminate, they're constantly bringing up
things they're afraid of in the future or shit, they wish they didn't do in the past.
Yeah. And this is what's creating the you. It's you, you're habitually running through a
a rolodex of bad memories and internal fears and stuff.
And so he's saying that what's really cool about that is it shows you how disciplined
you are.
You think you have no control over that, but you do.
It's just habit.
And so what he says is there's a lot of techniques in there, but one of them is what
happens if you start habituating yourself to remembering good moments in your life instead
of bad moments in your life. And it sounds so obvious. But when you, every time you find yourself
getting freaked out over that fucking memory, the thing, what you're worried about, the thing,
you replace it. And he says it doesn't have to be a big thing, like winning a marathon. He's like,
he uses the example of when you learn to tie your shoes. Yeah. You know, some just. When somebody
smiled at you. Yes. When you smiled at someone. Yeah, that that's enough. And you start replacing this
habitual rumination with good memories, even if they're from the distant past, it doesn't matter.
All of a sudden, your life starts changing because your inner identity will begin to conform to
things. It'll begin to lead your outer identity. That's right. Yeah. You start making different choices,
all the stuff changes in your life. So his point is you don't really need to get plastic surgery.
he was saying that some people get a scar on their face and it makes them more powerful.
Like he was, I think the Nazis, the fencing Nazis, if you got a scar on your face, it means you were like a great fencer.
Yeah.
But some people get a scar on their face ruins their life.
Right.
You know, so obviously what's going on there is not the external appearance.
Wow.
It's how you're wearing it.
You got it.
Dang. And I wonder if, what if we all just don't even, I've long thought this.
What if we all don't realize there's so much more capability that we have that we just don't know?
I believe that that's such a truth. Like what if you could think your way into looking somehow different?
Like that's almost, that's almost, it's interesting for a plastic surgeon to say that.
Because it's like, yeah, what if people could think or believe themselves?
Yeah.
into actually that you would then visually somehow look different.
Like I know it probably would be tough to really unstructure your, like it wouldn't,
skeletally that would be probably impossible.
But on a,
but on a different type of level,
or could your skeleton morph over time?
It's interesting to think that,
wow,
if I had enough of belief or if I,
if I purveyed this type of energy,
or I just envisioned it enough that I would actually become the thing that I envision.
Well,
pull up like an early picture of Marilyn Monroe before she got famous.
I go visit her grave sometimes.
You really do?
Is she in Nashville?
She lives or she dies, I guess.
She lives in a coffin around the corner from where I live at.
She lives in a coffin.
In Westwood, I mean.
That's the craziest way to save dead.
Yeah, she's deceased.
She's living in a coffin now.
Yeah, but she's, yeah.
So that's her?
Yeah.
So that's Marilyn Monroe.
bro.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, I will say this.
She's an attractive young lady.
She's not the Marilyn Monroe that we envision when you...
Still beautiful.
That's, you sure that's her?
Yeah, like, find some other, like, early pictures of Marilyn Monroe before she was famous.
I don't know how you find that.
Because, like, a lot of these are, like, modeling pictures.
But when you look at them, it's like, there you go.
And, like, you know, obviously you could say, I'd suck her feet still.
But you could say that this was, you know, lighting, makeup, and stuff.
stuff like that, but there's a story I heard. I don't know if it's true or not.
Marilyn Roe is at a diner. She's with one of her, like, I think, childhood friends. And like,
you know, no one even knows it's Marilyn Roe. And Marilynne Roe says to her friend, do you want to see
what happens when I become her? And her friend's like, yeah. And so all of a sudden,
she does something and turns, like essentially shape shifts. Like she embodies Marilyn Monroe. And
everyone in the cafe starts looking at her like, oh my God, that's Marilyn Monroe. So this is what
this dude is talking about. And, you know, how many times have you been with a person who maybe
isn't like classically beautiful, but their personality is so amazing that you start falling
in love with you realize the physical appearance, it's nothing compared to this spirit inside of
them. And the coverse sadly happens where you're around a beautiful person. And you're around a beautiful
person and you realize, oh my God, this is a monster. And it's so fascinating. It's just the shell.
It's like a lampshade or something. It's like what kind of light is shining through.
Dude, that's a great way to say that, man. It's like a lampshade. There is.
The Maryland-in-Roe shapes of the story refers to a famous anecdote where she could alter her
appearance simply by changing her posture and energy when walking down a busy street unnoticed
as Norma Jean. She would turn to a companion asked, do you want to see her and instantly
transforming the iconic Maryland.
People who were with Maryland during these moments,
such as her friend Eli Wallach,
or the actress Susan Strasbourg,
noted that she changed nothing about her clothes or makeup.
Instead, the transformation was a masterclass in embodiment.
Wow.
It's wild.
That stuff is wild that you could do that.
But it is interesting, yeah, how I feel, what do I carry?
What am I going to take outside with me today?
What am I going to take inside with me today?
You know?
And I, you know, I applaud, like, parents,
because I know their lives get so busy
and the time that they have to even take for themselves
and the time that one of them is like,
hey, well, you keep watch for a little bit
while I just go meditate for 10 minutes
or brush my teeth or pat myself on the back
or cry in the bathroom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, it gets wild.
It really does.
Like I think that's a real war.
It's a real tandem.
It's a real, if it's working well,
I bet it's a real tandem thing.
And sometimes it's painful
and sometimes it's beautiful
and sometimes it's probably a lot of things.
but I applaud the amount of time parents has has to be like.
Oh my God.
Well, you know, but the thing is, and you're right,
and you're totally right.
The amount of free time I have now compared to the free time I used to have.
Like, I could spend days, days alone in my house,
Blast and Rails Academy, completely alone, happily alone.
playing video games
alone.
And I would get bummed out
if I had something to do like two days.
Two days away, I'd be stressed out.
Bro, that's when you know
you're going to be doing some drugs.
Oh yeah, man.
But now, I have
very what people would call free time.
But what is free time?
The real question is, like,
the example that I've been taught in Buddhism
is we all have a version, a place where this is where I'm going to feel all right.
And for like a lot of people, maybe not touring stand-up comics, but for a lot of people,
that could be a hotel room.
A nice hotel room.
You can order room service, the TV, the soft bed, no disturbances, phone is off.
Now I will relax.
So this creates a terrible tension between every other moment.
Like everyone has their place.
What is the place or everything.
This is where I'm going to be.
For some people it's just coming home after a hard day's work, sit on the couch,
whatever it is.
For some people, everyone has their little oasis in their mind.
This is the place.
Yeah.
But the idea is this is an illusion.
The oasis is an illusion.
You go into that place.
The place isn't giving you relaxation.
The place isn't giving you peace.
You're deciding this is where I will be at peace.
theoretically you could do that through the whole fucking day your whole day could theoretically
become that place that you're hoping to get to when you have enough money when you finally get a
vacation when you finally get some a moment to yourself and this is what i have read is one of
the definitions of enlightenment enlightenment this is a definition i heard um because it's even
defining it is difficult and who the fuck knows
but the idea is, what if every place you are at was free time,
even though it was filled up with all kinds of activity,
even though there were things you had to do,
what if you were maintaining this sense of like,
yeah, this is where I belong, this is good.
This is the vacation.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And this is in the third patriarch of Zen.
He wrote this great book.
In Buddhism, you learn this?
Yeah.
The first line, and I wish I could, the name is like, I think Japanese.
Can you look up the third patriarch of Zen?
And yeah, that's it.
And he wrote, the great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.
Your preferences are tormenting your act.
You want to be there.
You don't want to be here.
You want to be somebody else.
And when you're a parent, your preferences will destroy you.
Wow.
Because you, obviously, there's moments that I just want to play Diablo 4, dude.
I just want to sit on the fucking couch and play Diablo 4.
I just want to be alone.
I don't want to be around anybody for a second.
That's a preference.
And the more you cling to that, the more you'll suffer.
The part of the soul that burns in hell is the part that clings to life.
Wow.
That Meister Eckhart.
But, dude, for sure.
Dude, I think about that stuff a lot, dude, with like, uh, sometimes with like reliving old
parts of my past or old stories or just like, yeah, old things that happen.
It's like, how long do I want to think I have to figure this out before I just want to set
up some barricades for myself now that's like, hey, we're not going to go try to figure that
out anymore.
We're just going to move on, right?
And we're going to move on and we're going to put boundaries in place so that when this
thing or certain types of people or this energy comes around, that this is how we're
going to behave towards it.
Yeah.
And we're not going to be like mean to it or anything.
But this is how we're going to operate.
right now.
Instead of like,
I get stuck in this place of like,
well,
I'll figure this out
or a little more therapy
and this and that.
And the therapy and stuff,
it's all good,
right?
It's all helpful.
It's all like puts a magnifying glass
on things that are cool.
But,
but at some point be like,
you know,
this path,
it's a lot.
I don't know.
I've been on this path for a while.
Let me try to do something else.
Let me try to move forward.
Let me try to not even let this be a,
like,
let me really let this,
be part of the past. Instead of going back to the past to solve something. Like that's the thing.
Sometimes I keep going back to the past to solve the present where it's like, let me try and
do this maybe a little bit different. So I've just been thinking about that recently.
Thanks so much for some of the chats, dude. I want to find out what's a rabbit hole or like something
that you guys have learned on mystery boys? But I just want to get this update. The guest, Mark
Elliott, clarifies that he does not claim to have been cured of Tourette's syndrome. Instead,
he describes his experience as a journey where he found a way to master the condition,
noting that while the symptoms have drastically reduced,
he still feels the urge occasionally and works to change his relationship with it.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Write it down.
That's what I do, dude.
Write it down.
With Mystery Boys, what is a rabbit hole kind of that you or something new that you guys have, like,
latched on to that's been like really interesting to go down that you and Metzger have.
I got to give full credit to Matt's curve.
for most of the rabbit holes.
Like, I'm telling you, this guy, he, like, it's...
Do you think he's good or evil when you think about him?
He's good.
Okay.
Very good.
This is a pop quiz, man.
Why?
Do you think he's evil?
No, I don't.
I was asking you.
He actually texted me and told him to ask you that.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding you at all.
So it's just a good...
Oh, he's the sweetest...
I know him.
I've already decided how I feel about it.
He's good.
Really good.
Okay.
I wouldn't do a fucking podcast with an evil person.
Why would you do that to yourself?
That's horrible.
Dude, do you ever think, what if one day you got home years from now
and you started to notice like something like your skin around your chin or something?
And you started peeling it and then you took it off.
And what if we were the aliens, dude?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Like this whole time, we've been trying to hunt the aliens.
Sure.
And then you peel.
You're like, what is that?
Dude.
You think it's acne and it's just fucking abercadabra.
You're an alien.
Oh, my God.
And then you peel the alien mask off and you're a human.
Yeah.
And you're a cool.
black guy. So what the fuck are you, man?
What are you?
Turn it up.
Yeah.
You know.
Spin that shit.
How about this, dude?
I'll give you a quick one.
Yeah, take me down, but I want to go down a rabbit hole.
And that was, and no, Kurt didn't ask that either.
I was just joking around, dude.
He's far from evil.
But Metzker did give me a little bit of trivia, which I'd never heard.
before, which is the most bad shit thing ever. So, John Wain Gacy, the famous serial killer.
From Illinois, yeah. Horrible motherfucker, the clown. Yeah, pedophile. John Wayne Gacey,
pedophile fucking clown. Just horrible human being. He, you put-
lazy, too. Lazy, killed people, put him under his house. Oh, yeah. He said that if he was guilty of
anything, it was running a funeral home without a license because he had rotting child corpses under his
fucking house. Also, weirdly political.
And so John Wayne Gacy
was executed
on
a solar eclipse,
which is already weird.
Like, you know, you know there's going to be
eclipse that day. Right. Why are you
executing one of the most
notorious serial killers
like on the day that like in a horror
movie, that's how you get a zombie,
a Freddie Kruger. That's how you get
a demon or something.
the person, it's a solar eclipse, they come back to life or they haunt your dreams. So that's just
weird by itself. But coincidentally, Jeffrey Dahmer was baptized, and I'm not sure into what
denomination of Christianity on the same day. Another fucking serial killer baptized while during the
execution of, like, so it's- So a spiritual realm is open.
Yes.
And a calendar, a seasonal, a, what realm would that be?
What do you mean?
Like the, the spiritual realm is open with the baptism.
Like there's a spiritual, like embodiment happening.
And in eclipses, just so, like, in the West, we think they're cool.
Everyone goes out.
In eclipse?
You get your eclipse glasses.
Everyone goes out to look.
They are fucking cool.
I've been there.
They're amazing.
It's amazing to witness the temperature drug.
Shadows get weird.
But like, you know, one of my friends who's like a Shivite for real, like, you know, Hindu follower of Shiva, you know, he was explaining to me like, in India, eclipses are not something you want to go out under.
Like it represents an opening where a lot of weird shit can come into this realm.
So, you know, his advice is don't go outside during an eclipse.
Like, you don't understand the energies that are out there.
This is in their cosmology.
So it's a very powerful, even if you're not into the woo-woo stuff, it's a very crazy thing
that happens.
And birds stop singing.
You know, they think it's nighttime all of a sudden.
It's just a very deep, spiritual moment.
So why?
Why do you execute this monster?
during an eclipse and why do you baptize another monster during the eclipse and why why on the same day
and how is that accidental and maybe that's cymatics i don't know maybe that's just part of like the
weird secret gears in the universe we don't know about but to me it's very fascinating when moments like
that emerge right when it's when when when the curtains are open a little bit into the ethereal into the
next realm when somebody spiritually or kind of your you're you're you're when there's an
an an embodiment putting the you know blessing somebody with the the embodiment of god like
bringing god into their into their heart you know right right that's that's risky behavior dude
yeah i i wonder if um do you know if it's kind of weird that we get people to go outside and
look up into the eclipse then yeah was that always
a practice or did people used to not stare into the eclipse? Oh no, dude. People went blind for sure.
There's a famous- People went blind is because they were eight years old back in the day.
Well, yeah, you just go blind from drinking water. I mean, dude, imagine how scary. Dude,
everything was a game show like 200 years ago, dude. A cup of water. You could get undehydrated or
tuberculosis. What do you want? Explosive diarrhea? Yeah. You want to die of thirst or
die of dysentery. Pick. One or the other. One of the other. No, people have not always looked
at eclipses. Historically witnessing an eclipse was often met with fear, awe, or strict avoidance
rather than direct observation because ancient civilizations lacked scientific explanations.
Many cultures considered the darkening of the sun to be a bad omen or a disruption of the
natural order. That makes sense. For sure, many cultures believe a celestial creature was
attempting to devour the sun. The Norse blamed sky wolves. The Chinese told,
of a celestial dragon and Aztecs believed the Jaguar was eating the sun.
People would often bang pot, scream, or shoot arrows into the air to frighten the monster
away.
And it worked.
Yeah.
But it is, when did we start in, when did we start seeing eclipses and going and watching?
I mean, forever.
But did, when did, did it become a practice?
Like, was there something that happened?
Like, it was a big thing on television.
Like, go see the eclipse or whatever.
It was always significant.
I mean, it's just like, no matter what period in human history, like, can you fucking
imagine like not knowing what was going on why that was happening? But how much fun would we have had
back then? First of all, you get to make up what's going on, right? Or you just get to believe what's
happening. Like you get to believe what's happening. But I just think the imagine, imagine everybody's
imagination back then. Yeah. And everybody's like storytelling. Like you had to have a piece of
information even you had to like life was probably scary. You had to seem viable. You had to
fight for your existence probably.
Well, I mean, this is what I think
is interesting. Like you valued your life
more because your sibling
was dying at home. It was like
let this day mean, let this day mean something to me.
Let this information that I'm reading to it.
Let the fact that I can absorb
information, let it mean something to me.
You're saying that now maybe we've
lost that, that people
have become sort of numb, nihilistic
husks who don't value their own
existence like they did when
you watched your friend get eaten by a wolf.
Right.
I think it's a tough.
I think we are deeper in it than we know.
I think we are up to our waist right now in it.
In what?
In the suction of the devil.
Oh, right.
In the suction of something deviant and the suction of the dark arts, man.
I believe that it is, we think we just have nice pants on,
but we don't realize that we've invited these skins of like, you know,
we've invited something.
There's something very demonic going on.
Do you think technology is inherently demonic?
Oh my God.
I mean, you, it, okay.
So first, like, let's define demonic.
Okay.
So what is your definition of demonic?
With intent to harm to, let me see, demonic.
I would say of Satan's will.
Yeah.
With intent to be a succubus to,
the godliness that to the
nature and morality and godliness
that exists inside of us as a group
and as individuals.
Does that make sense or not?
Did you have Bishop Robert Barron on your show?
No, cool guy?
You got to have them on.
BRB?
Yes.
Damn, dude.
You guys will hit up.
What crazy though.
You guys will hit up.
Yeah, he's really cool.
He was a...
Sign him up, all right, Zach?
I had him on my podcast.
And what's really interesting is actually having on my podcast got me more interested in Christianity
than any other time in my life.
And the reason was not necessarily what he told me, though.
You know, he's a really cool guy.
And, like, obviously he's, like, brilliant.
He's a bishop, and he's obviously a theologian.
He's Orthodox, Greek Orthodox?
He's Catholic.
Okay.
I don't, yeah.
So, but what was really weird is, you know, I've had so many guests of all kinds of
of her, I've had Satanists on the podcast, I've had witches on the podcast, I've had Hindus,
Buddhists, new age people, LSD chemists. I've had all kinds of, you know, generally.
Wiggas? God's Dalmatians. Never. And never. Not yet.
Bro, that's a road to go down. That's the eclipse, dude. That's the eclipse.
No, I probably have. I have to go back and look at the catalog. That's the human eclipse.
But, dude, I get it, I have one Catholic bishop on.
And man, people got so mad at me.
And it was really interesting because it's like, wait a minute, what the fuck?
Like, you guys didn't care when I had like people who...
Were you trying to demonize the guy?
Why'd they get mad?
Well, because, like, basically what started bubbling up was that I moved to Texas.
I'm having a bunch of fucking kids.
I've become some kind of fundamentalist Christian.
I love religion.
And I love Christianity.
I love like, I'm fascinated by it.
And the New Testament is so beautiful and so different from what most people think it is.
Like when you sit down and actually read it yourself, if you have an idea of what Christianity is, you realize whatever that was is not what this is, which is to me a really sort of thrilling moment in studying any religion.
Like if you're going to critique a religion or a philosophy, you really, I think, need to study it deeply.
Amen.
That's a good point.
And then you can then go for it, right?
We got to start doing that more, I think on here is learning about some of the depths of different religions because you see a lot of stuff online that can lead you in certain ways.
But demons.
Yeah.
Satan and demons.
I believe that Satan is way more active than we think.
I think we got into this lush period of like of self believing that something was taking.
care of us. Not that something doesn't love us, I believe that. Yeah. But we believe that something was
taking care of us, that we didn't have to show up for our own, like, salvation, not just
religiously, but for our own salvation as human beings as well, for our own day-to-day salvation.
Do you think that, do you think that we are strong enough or care enough to save ourselves?
Well, I mean, I hear what you're saying, and that's a really good question, because I think you're pointing towards a misconception, or in Buddhism, what would be considered a distortion when it comes to what people think they are.
So in Buddhism, this shows up as something called interdependency or dependent co-origination, which means that we're all connected, that the clothes that you're wearing,
wearing everything that you are, everything around you,
everything is there because of causes and conditions
that created the situation that we're in.
So in other words, when you ask,
are we enough to save ourselves?
It points to a distortion,
which is we think we are an individual self disconnected from the system.
Right.
And of course we're not enough to save ourselves.
And I don't just mean in a spiritual sense,
I mean, everything that we consider that we need for survival around us right now is there because
of the labor and work and energy of people you're never going to meet.
The food was hauled in on trucks.
The plastic in the Fiji bottle.
Your clothes, everything, your books, the trees that grew to make the wood for your sign.
All of these things point to a complete tapestry of,
existence, meaning there isn't such a self anyway.
But if you think that you're a self, then you, if you're foolish enough to think you're
all you need, it's like, look around you.
Right, but no, but I mean, I agree.
But do you think we as a, do you think we are strong enough to show up and save ourselves?
You mean as a species?
As a species.
Because I feel like we're kind of on the brink of this place where something could happen
or like were this like like they're like I don't know it seems like darkness is trying to defeat us
oh yeah and and it feels like are we strong enough to save ourselves because some days it feels like maybe
and some days it feels like maybe not well honest i don't think i think that i think that the
i think a lot of people suffering is related to self-cherishing a lot of people suffering is related to
being misdirected.
There is a misdirective force in the universe.
Now, Bishop Barron, he was telling me,
well, what is the definition of Satan?
Like, what is it, the actual definition of Satan?
What is it described as?
And he said, it is the accuser, the scatterer,
that which scatters.
So if we're going to come up with a definition of the demonic,
and the question is, is like this technology demonic,
and let's just throw the word Satan out for a second,
because that does create a knee-jerk reaction in people.
A lot of people do have, like, religious trauma for real.
And I know that word gets thrown around a lot,
but some people are born into highly abusive households
where religion is used as an excuse to fuck with the rational mind or people.
It's not when...
Right, I'm being a little bit flipping about it.
No, I don't think you're being flipping.
I think you're, I'm just...
But you're just clarifying.
Yeah, but...
So for some people, it's useful to throw out words like that
And just, you don't have to use that word if you do.
I think it's a useful word.
But, um, I can mean the devil, the dark energy.
Whatever you want to, you know, but Satan does have like some specific definitions.
The scatterer and the accuser.
That's exactly what's going on right now.
What is technology doing?
It's accusing one group or another group of being the source of all the suffering in the world.
I agree.
The accuser.
I've seen you, Theo, accused.
of, you know, because of the people you have in your podcast.
It's all your fucking fault, dude.
Look what you've done, right?
But it's not just you.
It's not just you.
It's what technology is doing, what the algorithm seems to be doing,
is creating these very clear distorted distinctions between groups of people.
Right.
Which is, anytime you have direct one-on-one contact with most people, they're awesome.
They might be annoying.
they might disagree with you.
Might be chatty or whatever.
Chattie, but in general,
they all...
They're good.
People want to help.
Yeah.
People actually really want to help.
It's very sweet.
But I agree, you get behind these phones
and it's like, I mean,
there's so much racial.
Like, I have, like, black friends
that'll just be like,
they act like they were slaves sometimes
because of the fodder they get fed.
They'll get stuff like, remember when you were a slave?
And it's like, and I'm like, dude,
Ronnie, what are you talking about?
I'm like, your dad worked at Chase Bank, dude.
Yeah.
When were you a fucking,
slave you, you were the best player on our team, dude.
You got all the girls.
You got all the white girls too.
Yeah.
Well, look at all the stories.
Look at all the stories.
But it's like, remember when you were a slave,
choose some of this slave gum and it'll say you slave.
It'll be like, oh, remember this Richmond, Virginia gum, you know?
Now it's a taste like the 1870s, you know?
Dude, they're trying to replace you.
Yeah.
If you're white, they're trying to replace you.
You better watch out.
You're going to be replaced.
But there's some groups that never get pointed at.
Well, what I'm saying is, if you look at the,
the emergent, like you could call the culture war stuff.
I think you could actually identify this as a kind of religion or a larp even.
It's people are larping because the first thing that's happening is you're being invited to take a side.
You know, if you're, if you're a black person, okay, you need to be on the side of what, like, if you want to get closed.
Slave gum or whatever.
If you're gay, now you need to draw.
going to LGBT, you're part of this movement.
Right.
If you're white, you're being replaced.
If you're Jewish, they're going to, the concentration camps are about to start up again.
You can look and see that every single person on the planet, if you want to attach to a terrifying,
horrible story, you can find it.
And the moment you subscribe to it, you invite it in, your algorithm will be flooded with things
to confirm your worst fears, giving you a sense that this is real.
crystallizing the distortion.
This is all happening in 2D space
on your fucking phone.
Yeah. Mostly.
I'm not saying that there isn't
obviously real evil happening
in the world right now. But this moment
right now, wherever you may be,
this moment right now,
it's pretty good. Right.
This is the kingdom of God. This is what
I think Jesus was talking about. The kingdom of God
is here right now. This is why
the symbol of blindness
appears again and again.
Saul of Tarsus,
Stoning fucking Christians,
which to this day is very popular.
You know, they're one of the most persecuted,
it's one of the most persecuted religions to this day,
and people get mad at me for saying that,
but you can look it up.
Oh, who Christianity?
Yes.
Oh, for sure.
They're killing.
There's a lot of videos recently
that you'll see it's still happening in a lot of places.
Very popular.
Can you bring up the Saul of Tarsus story, please?
Yeah, Saul of Tarsus.
It's a great story.
He became Paul.
Saul of Tarsus, thank you.
Saul of Tarsus was a key observer and a proving bystander at the execution of Stephen, the first Christian martyr, rather than casting stones himself.
Saul guarded the heavy cloaks of the witnesses while they carried out the stoning. Wow.
And then who did he become?
Saul of Tarsus, the road to Damascus. He's walking, has a vision of Christ.
Jesus says, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? Is that a conversion experience?
The story of Saul on the road to Damascus is a pivotal event in Christian history.
describing Saul of Tars, of Tarsus, dramatic conversion in the Apostle Paul, traveling to Damascus to
arrest and persecute Christians who was blinded by a divine light and heard the voice of Jesus. Wow.
Yeah. Yeah. Now, there's a lot of interpretations of this event. Who knows? But this idea of blindness,
Jesus curing the blind man, all this stuff, the blindness. This, to me, is the situation.
We're kind of in a situation of...
Blindness.
An interesting kind of blindness because the modern mind thinks that they're very clear.
They think that they're seeing things very clearly.
They know a sophisticated person, it should be worried about, you know, there's a list of things
you should be worried about.
This means you're on the right side and you're sophisticated if you're worried about the right
things.
Certain things, if you're worried about them, mean you're a fucking piece of shit, racist,
bigoted piece of shit.
You've got to be worried about the right things.
But what are they all have in common?
Worry.
You need to be freaked out.
You need to be worried, scared.
That bumper sticker.
If you're not angry, you're not listening.
Now, that's one of the most satanic bumper stickers I've ever seen in my fucking life.
I think the devil himself printed that shit out.
It's basically like, if you aren't angry, something's wrong with you.
You need to be angry, scared, pissed off, judgmental.
Don't talk to those people.
Don't look at those people.
Don't think those thoughts.
Everything about you's fucking wrong.
Everything about them's wrong.
You've got to be in a constant contorted state of deep, anxiety, fear, and worry.
Or you are not okay.
You are not a good person unless you're scared.
And we should, there should be a score now that you get to see when you meet someone,
how much time have they spent on their phone?
Yeah.
What apps have they been on?
Yeah.
What's, you know what I'm saying?
Like, because it's kind of not even fair that these algorithms,
there was just the algorithm act.
What was that?
They've been trying to get it past for years now.
But, and they met some cases recently where meta has been held liable.
There was a girl that had a lot of suicidal thoughts.
And was, I believe, had an eating disorder.
I could be wrong with that.
Or was dealing with, um, algorithm accountability act of 2025,
focused on automated decision systems in critical areas, jobs, credit, housing, health,
education.
And this is according to perplexity.
But yeah, it's like, these algorithms should be held accountable.
We are letting these, that's where the devil.
It's like, we're letting these things control.
because I'll watch stuff, I'll see some clips,
and if you look at one, then something else comes up,
and now you're down a rabbit hole.
Then you see somebody from that group,
whatever that is, in real life,
and you could have an energy towards them.
That's right.
I mean, they got you thinking about reparations.
Yeah.
You're thinking about reparations a lot.
Why?
It keeps coming up on my feet.
Because your fucking algorithm is showing you
this version of reality
where there's people all over the place
trying to get reparations,
which there are probably people,
there are people doing that,
but probably not as many as you think they are.
Because your algorithm is just like, look, look what they're doing.
Look!
So then I see like a homeless guy and he's like, hey, can I get a buck?
I'm like, oh, okay.
Oh, reparations.
You want reparations.
And that's just because you're getting, you're contaminating yourself.
We all have it.
I have it to.
Everyone has it.
But that's the thing.
Are we, is there enough space to rise above it?
Is there enough space to rise above it?
I think here's the thing.
We have to believe that there is and envision a possibility that where there is,
otherwise there isn't.
So that's one thing.
There is.
Definitely is.
But dude, even just the fake AI stuff,
just to make things a little soft for
to soften up the conversation.
Yeah, let's soften it up.
What's a fake AI story?
Oh, did you see, what was the one?
Brain?
I think I'll put it on the list of,
it's in my, it's in my,
oh yeah, there was this girl,
oh yeah, Kaylee, this was the lawsuit.
She argued that features
like infinite scrolling,
auto play algorithm recommendations
and beauty filters were engineered
to make users engage compulsively.
True.
What breaks my heart sometimes, though,
or I don't know if it breaks my heart,
but it kind of makes me, I don't know,
it makes me mad that I got to sit with some of these guys
and they act like there's no crime in their algorithms.
They act like there's no like evil goals behind it.
And I think it's obvious that anybody can see
where we're headed isn't a great place.
So do you think some of these technocrats
just don't have a moral comfort
compass because something must be wrong.
Oh, dude.
I mean, that's a whole, that's a deep fucking rabble.
Okay.
Because you're talking about like the Galapagos Islands, right?
Weird creatures there because they're separated from everything else, right?
So when we're talking about the Silicon Valley tech overlords, we're talking about a weird kind
of Galapagos island where you've got this set group of people who've been there for a while
who have been engineering the technology that is now being used for mass surveillance,
for blowing up Palestinians, for fucking exploding parts of the world,
and for hypnotizing children into like being glued to the fucking technology, right?
And so you're looking at like essentially a warlock guild.
These are the wizards of the world.
They are summoning spirits via AI.
A lot of them were into the occult.
You can look that shit up.
And regardless, I think there's public records of some of them saying that they used BF Skinner, the behaviorists, work.
And he was the guy who could make like pigeons tap dance and shit.
They coded that into the algorithm, the same stuff they use for slot machines and stuff in Vegas.
Yes, I've seen that.
Right?
So these are wizards, illusionists.
So, dude, it's like, do they know what they're doing?
Yes.
They were, they're making addictive technologies.
Can they say that's what they were doing?
Hell no.
Do you think it's a unified goal, or do you think they all just happen to each have these things going on?
And that's where we are.
Dude, I think that...
And I'll come on, I want to come on y'all's show and we'll go down this rabbit hole.
I love to.
Listen, man, I think...
Because we're going to get into some softer stuff.
This is what I do know.
Uh-huh.
Before you get into the soft stuff, I do know this.
Zuckerberg, apparently, doesn't let his kids on the fucking computer.
Apparently, a lot of these tech people keep their kids off social media.
I think I asked him about that, didn't I?
what did he say?
I think I said, do your kids use social media?
Regardless, they have strict
fucking guardrails for their kids
using social fucking media.
And that is interesting to me.
It's like if this shit's so okay.
What's going on?
Yeah, I think, let's check and see.
I'll find out in just a second.
I think we asked him about that.
But yeah, this was one thing I was saying about this.
Like, I remember watching this, right?
Soft and thinks of me.
This was last year a little bit.
But this is called Brain Bridge, right?
Play this clip?
Oh my gosh.
This is going to blow your mind.
A startup company called Brain Bridge announced today
that they believe that they will be able to successfully perform a head transplant
surgery in the next eight years.
The way that this would work is you would take a person with a perfectly healthy and active brain,
but their body has cancer or paralysis and transplant it to a brain dead donor body.
What's crazy is that they said that by doing this,
the person that's receiving the new body would still be able to maintain their memories,
cognitive abilities, and consciousness.
They say that the brain could last several hundred years if it had a good working body
and that that might be a potential in the future,
but that this would also give people with different ailments a second chance.
Wow.
I mean, but this came out and I remember a guy sent it to me.
I'm not going to say who it was, but like kind of like a certain type of person.
Yeah.
Send it to me.
Yeah.
From Birmingham.
or whatever. And he's like, man, this is scary, you know? And I'm like, that ain't real.
That's not real, man. You know what I'm saying? But it's stuff like this that we think like,
you know, and then you probably have like spouses, like a woman. She's like, oh, you know, six more,
you know, six more birthday cakes. Because it said like six years it'll be happening, right?
Yeah. Six more birthday cakes. And my, you know, I'm going to have Denzel Washington in my
kitchen or whatever. Or I'm going to have, you know, my husband's going to look like the baby or whatever.
You're going to have like a 75-year-old guy with like a body that looks like a fucking
Like a California raisin and da baby's head like it's just gonna so but that's that's AI stuff you know
That's the things that people believe you're not real I've been what that you know what AI's been showing me
A lot of fake Honey Badger content videos like nature videos looks real like honey badgers like fighting
Elephants and horses a lot of AI videos of
like, God, what are those creatures that defend themselves with shit?
Are you talking about those David Attenborough fight night videos?
Well, yeah, but people are now generating very good AI video of like Honey Badgers fighting
shit.
And I was watching them for a while before I realized that's not real.
Because I love Honey Badgers.
It's a different subject altogether.
But a lot of these are fake as fuck.
Or the hippos spinning their tails and shitting off, you know, they're like blasting tigers away and
stuff, that's, a lot of those are fake.
Are they really?
I mean, it's insidious.
It's at that level, too.
It's not just head transpland.
Like elephant shits on birthday party or whatever.
Go on Instagram and look up like hippo defending itself.
And I'm pretty sure a lot of these are AI.
I don't want it to be AI.
I want it to be real.
But if you look up any hippo, it's a whole genre now.
If hippo's shitting on various predators.
Yeah, if you guys can bring some of those up, we'll get right back to them.
Dude, oh yeah, I saw this thing the other day.
Hot air balloons are being used for sex trafficking.
And that was an AI thing.
That's so...
And that was an AI thing, dude.
It's so, so now it's like,
when you take one of the most beautifully,
like people are watching a hot air balloon race
and there's some grandmother being like,
you know, there's a nine-year-old, you know, or something.
There's a kid bound and gagged
in the basket of that balloon,
getting shipped off to some fucked up island.
That's so, everything beautiful.
You know, brothels on the moon,
kids being transported in hot air balloons.
They're ruining everything.
But then they'll start,
but then also,
what will happen then is this is then this piece starts to happen they take a fake story like that
right like yeah kids being sex traffic you know like in hot air balloons which is crazy yeah like like
how many people can even fit in a hundred balloon probably six to eight a lot of kids that's true probably
four to ten i don't know but i think yeah i could get 20 in there i don't want to know we could talk
after the show yeah we'll talk after the show yeah it's a big business we're joking but dude we are
joking yes christ we're joking but then here's what i'm
happens is they put the story out right yeah then they become then there becomes this lobbying towards the
government like now somebody's lobbying right we need to train officers we need specifically trained
officers who know how to fly hot air balloons so that they can be lookouts for this thing and it becomes
one of those Somali welfare things where it's just a money laundering thing but it's all based off of
well let's put the story out first right create the fear create the worry then let's find this other
big financial solution that we and do all the training and all the bullshit
So we have something to invoice the American government or any government for.
And then the people, our tax money just goes to another thing.
Now we have 700, you know, trained like hot air balloon surveillance technology.
I'm sorry, I don't think you realize what you just did.
But you have come up with like an incredible series on like NBC.
Hot air balloon like cop chasing sex predators through the skies.
Dude, that's an incredible show.
Thank you.
Like, that would be really, like, really fun to watch.
Dude, imagine you're ducking down in your basket.
Yeah.
You get a new partner.
You do that heat thing, you turn it up.
Dude, I would watch that all day long.
That's an incredible idea.
But yeah, you're right.
It creates a chain reaction.
And essentially, it's just shit tons of money gets wasted on something fabricated by, like, a couple of, like,
teenagers in Morocco.
Yeah.
And you know, or wherever.
I don't know why I said Morocco.
You know, but then they honor him at a football game.
It's like, and there's Harold Arthur the third.
He did 17 years in the hot air balloon surveillance squad.
Let's give him a round of a pool.
Please salute him.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
You're right.
And dude, but they used to have, I remember they had this girl in our school and her dad
and his friend, I guess, they were kind of gay men or whatever.
And they would, they were hot air balloon guys, but they would go up and kind of
kiss, whatever. Like, it would like, whatever, like, whatever, meet up in the, like, not meet up,
I guess meet up in the sky or whatever, you know? How? Or just like, lock their, you know,
tie their balloons off to each other. How does that, wouldn't the, like, it's like,
wouldn't the balloons themselves bump into each other? I think there's ways you can do that.
Because that is, like, if you're going to, like, create sort of a spectrum of gay.
What's to hide? They were scared to get seen around town. So you level up. Like, making out with
another dude in a separate hot air balloon is that's, that's gay.
It's brave gays, though.
It's brave, pow.
Dude, brave gays.
How was that on a show?
That's the name of the show.
That's it.
They're gay, hot air balloon cops.
This is the next broke back mountain.
Dude.
Do we have a beat of it here?
Did he say anything?
I think that that's a big part of it.
I try to, like, it's important to me that the kids get that to.
And the kids are very active.
Do your kids have a lot of, like, screen time?
Like, how much screen time do you allow your kids?
Yeah, it's different for the different ones.
We don't just, like, let them do whatever.
But I actually, like, want them to be fluent with this stuff.
And that kind of like we talked about earlier,
you know, I want them to learn how to code,
how to use technology.
I think it's important.
But he's not saying he wants them to use it.
He's saying wants them to know how to code and use technology.
I want them to be able to create the mind traps that I've created.
I want them to be able to build manipulative, seductive technology so that they can lure
other children into my trap that will inevitably control the entire planet.
But I would never show them the fucking hypnorectangle.
I mean, dude.
It's giving that, dude, a lot.
Is there any more to it or that's it?
It's a long answer to a simple question.
Right.
He could just be like, yeah, I put him on it all the time.
There's a lot of socialization.
They have their own accounts.
You know, obviously, like, happens online at this point.
Like, people need to get used to the norms and stuff around that.
So, I mean, they're not on, they're still too young to be using, like, social media,
but they have messenger kids.
You know, we, we make it so that they can video chat and chat with their friends.
Okay.
You know, we'll obviously monitor to make sure that they're, that they're just connecting with the people
who we think that they should.
But, like, I think it's actually good.
I think people need to kind of grow up.
I don't need to
as strong, but I think it's good
if you have an engaged parent
and they,
and as a child you learn up,
you kind of grow up learning how to use
a bunch of this stuff. So I think that's, okay.
And that's all good. I want the kids
to the extent that they're interested in it to
learn how to code, learn how to create stuff, whether it's in
like Horizon or VR tools or they play
you know, Roblox and Minecraft.
Roblox!
Did he just say fucking play Roblox?
Look up Roblox.
Like look up Roblox pedophilia.
Oh, is that where they're doing it now?
Dude.
Dude, this is like the new rest areas.
Remember rest areas?
Look at Roblox.
Yes.
Roblox is currently the subject of heavy scrutiny,
including investigations of lawsuits from U.S. state attorneys,
local governments and reports,
highlighting that predators exploit its massive demographic of young users
for grooming and sexual exploitation.
Yeah.
Don't put your fucking kids.
on Roblox or like man I'm telling you like people need to understand that dude do you
remember like did you ever like dig around for your dad's porn I remember digging in a hole
somebody said there was porn somewhere like not far from us and we dug dude we dug
as kids we probably dug fucking 11 feet into the dirt dude a pirate buried his porn out there
that's what black beard is born we didn't find anything dude you just remember the
we did find like a CPAP machine though
but go on dude my point is we all know that kids when they know like just based on like the experience
of anybody grew up in the 80s at least or the 90s yeah you would find your dad's porn yeah he could
put that shit like in a sewer he could put that stuff right he could like he could keep it under his hat
you would get it yeah so the like the idea that Zuckerberg's throwing out there which is like
you can like monitor your kids number one dude are you fucking kidding like
lot of people don't have time to do that.
And they don't understand this tech.
It could be really dangerous for children.
They don't have time to monitor.
Number two, the fact that he's recommending Roblox, which is you just pulled up, is currently
being investigated right now.
Because is, dude, he just told everyone watching your show.
He's like, put your kids on Roblox.
Like, you know how fucked up that is?
I don't think he intended to do that.
Well, it was a past episode.
It was probably one years ago.
Right.
But still, I think if, I don't know, do they know that pedophiles is going on on there?
Like, they have to know what's going on, dude.
And for years, there wasn't even a blockage.
I don't think between adults and kids messaging each other, which would be the first fucking thing.
So part of me starts to question, do some of these tech lords, do they want pedophilia to be a thing that exists in our universe?
I mean, let me answer that question.
This is the deal.
If you're making.
We need to ask a kid.
If you're making a, a, a, like, how much is money worth?
In other words, let's just say, you, Theo Vaughn, invented an app, and you found out that somehow children were being abused through your app.
You know what you do?
Shut it down.
Shut it the fuck down.
And apologize.
On that day.
And reparations.
Give them.
That's your reparations.
That's what you do.
You don't.
keep something going that allows children to be abused?
The question is, how much, how much is your mansion worth to you?
Well, here's the thing, here's the thing, Duncan.
I agree with you.
But people keep saying it's about money.
These people want to, it's not about money anymore.
It couldn't be about money.
If you have a lot of money, it's not about money anymore.
It becomes about the next currency.
So other currencies are power.
and then some of the currencies,
it's like you get to be the king
and then the king turns into a,
I think after king is a devil.
Yeah.
I think it's right on the other side
of being a king as a being a devil.
Because there's, you know what I'm saying?
Like everything's just a circle.
So if you're a king, then right after it is devil.
Yeah.
I mean, you just have to deal with the fact
that the technology you create
is being used to distribute child pornography
and it's hurting children.
and then whether the rest of your lives should be spent,
stopping that from happening,
not getting taken to court to make that happen.
You should just stop it because you-
It makes me question these guys a lot, dude.
Well, you know, human sacrifice,
especially the sacrifice of children,
is an age-old practice.
And just because the energy is being extracted from children
using a brand-new technology doesn't change the fact
that this technology is harming children.
And we're not saying that Facebook is doing that,
but we're he just saying that Roblox has accusations about that and that it's obvious that,
I mean, you can look.
I mean, again, I don't.
There have been probably instances of adults commandeering children sexually on Facebook.
Obviously, I can't say with the authority of some of the people doing the investigations,
whether or what's happening.
But I will say that if you don't think that social media and online games is being
used by predators to fuck with your kids, you are a dipshit. You're out of your mind. What are you
fucking doing? And also, might I just add, and I know we're supposed to light things up,
when you're posting pictures of your fucking kids in bathing suits. In bathing suits or no shirt.
And you look, and you can look at who's favoriting those pictures. If 60% of those are like
dudes in their 40s, what are you doing? What are you doing? Well, that's what? That's what?
you start to realize that we, like, there's this vortex that you start to get manipulated by.
And that we're being manipulated.
It's like watching a belly dance or dance.
And next thing you know, you've given all your money.
And after you give it all your money, you'll give her your kids.
You'll give her your organs.
You'll give her your offspring.
You'll give her whatever it is.
And you don't even notice you're giving anymore.
You're not even getting anything out of it anymore.
You were just tricked into giving everything all the way.
That's right.
You said it.
Praise the Lord.
throw your fucking phones in a oh yeah this is great let's watch this this will lighten things up it's hippo shitting on animals
oh yeah i mean we all like if we didn't oh it's not i don't think that's real and now this and look dude
they'll probably they'll accuse the animal of doing blackface or whatever it's AI though right that's
not real i don't know but this is the kind of stuff that just breaks my heart because he poses like
he sits like he wanted to get shit on like it's not real right it breaks your heart it looks real he's pissed
And that cheetah is pregnant, bro.
He's probably like, I know where to get some lunch.
And he's full of that old...
It's got to be fake.
And this is a whole genre of hippo shitting on jaguars in tigers.
Don't come on my back and tell me it's raining, brother.
Why did he sit there?
Like, why it's like he...
Because it's the old hey, let's go get some lunch.
I'm a shit on your trick.
Okay, that's the old thing, bro.
That old class.
What else do we have?
What other AI things are out there?
There's some other AI things that were fake?
Or were there other AI things in the news?
Or what else can we talk about?
Is there something else on your mind you want to talk about?
On my mind?
Yeah.
Right now.
Yeah, man.
Do you feel hope as a parent?
That's a question.
Is okay if I ask you that?
Do you feel hope as a parent knowing, seeing a lot of these open vortexes of the devil
that are operating around us and how we are being like summoned to dance for them,
like the brooms and fantasia?
Like, but do you?
And none of this is accusatory.
Like, I have the same stuff.
I'm like, you know, I try to battle it.
And it's probably easier because I have less responsibilities.
and you do as a parent,
but it's like,
we're all fighting this thing, you know?
Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I will never stop loving existence.
And I have, I know that people are good.
In Buddhism, it's called fundamental goodness,
that underneath the fear is goodness.
And when you're around a baby,
when you're around your kids,
you get to see that.
You get to see a brand new human
before the windshield gets like covered in splattered fear bugs that begin to define their personality.
And as a parent, you can't keep those bugs from splattering on the windshield.
That's going to happen.
But you also can like maybe you can at least help them understand that love is eternal.
That love is eternal, that we're embraced by the universe,
that benevolence, kindness, all the things that are taught in Christianity and many of the world
religions, these ways of being are not affected by technology, by AI, by all of the things that
inevitably are coming down the line. This way, the actual term for Hinduism, I've heard,
is called Sonatindarm. It means the eternal way or the eternal path. This path, it doesn't
fucking matter if there's cyborgs walking down the path it doesn't matter it doesn't matter and i think
that's the most important thing to remember is that this what what we were today we're calling the satan
satan is depends on us building up that energy in making it big scary this is described as like it's the
monster under the bed it's darkness darkness is all you have to do it's flip on the light amen
Gone.
Instantly gone.
And so the more I think we focus on that darkness and all of its complexity and all of
its seeming sophistication and all of its tricks and deviousness and deception, the more
powerful it becomes.
The moment you just turn into the present moment and your own heart and the people you love,
it's like a light turns on.
Well, I think we need astronauts too sometimes to go into the darkness, man.
We need astronauts to go in there and find the switches too.
you know, I think sometimes we need that.
I think sometimes it does feel sometimes like we are too,
like there's like, you know, a lot of times in Christianity,
they talk about acceptance a lot and acceptance and acceptance and, you know,
and a lot of religions they talk about acceptance.
Surrender.
Yes.
And it's like you can do that in some ways.
But also part of you is like, but when do you like really stand, you know what I'm saying,
when do we stand up?
Because we're creatures with legs.
Yeah.
You know, when do we stand up and not just accept everything?
And maybe that's the phase that we're in now.
And then part of me, like, I was talking to my friend Curtis the other day.
And like, we talk about religion a lot and things like that.
And he was saying that it doesn't really matter if you win here in the world, right?
If the world wins, if we win as a society here, it matters in the afterlife, in the next realm.
And like, you know what I'm saying?
like this is just a practice ground for your spirit, like to see how you operate a spirit.
It's almost like when you did like school driving or whatever, you know.
And there was some guy who was like obviously a pedophile usually who would get to teach how to drive
because he wouldn't let him coach him where they took away his whistle.
And so he's fucking sitting there just squeezing your thigh.
That's horrible.
But dude, he's in there squeezing your thigh.
He's like, if I squeeze your left thigh means turn left off, I squeeze your right thigh.
And I'm like, why?
Oh, fuck, dude.
Why are you touching me, dude?
So I was just going like in circles, dude.
This motherfucker was just massaging me or whatever.
You just fucked me up, man.
But it's just like, yeah.
But it's like, or do you think it matters?
Because sometimes I care too much.
I feel like if we win here as a people as opposed to like if I, if my like, as opposed to like best curing the meat of my soul for the next like refrigerator or meal or.
Well, sad.
Charcottery board of existence.
Does that make sense?
board of existence. It's very poetic. I know what you mean. I just think, you know, the, the,
the move is you look at this thing and now you're worrying about literally all of humanity.
Right. How do I fix all of humanity? It's a very anxious. Right. It's an anxious place.
Instead of, it's not fair to you, it's not fair to us. You can't. It's not your job. And I, I think
that doesn't mean you should be some kind of imping.
pseudos spiritual person who isn't actively trying to make the world better. But since you're the
first part of the world you encounter, how much time are you spending seeing if you can reduce
your own fear and anxiety and increase your ability to have compassion and love for the people
that you encounter throughout the day? And, you know, if enough of us do that, and that is not easy,
by the way.
Right, but it's incremental.
You don't have to do it all in one day, but you can do small things.
And you never know.
I mean, I think if we're going to use the Bible as a reference for the conversation,
doesn't the story go when Jesus sent out the disciples?
He said, don't worry about what you're going to say.
I will speak through you.
And if your message is not accepted, leave and knock the dust from your feet,
which is really just saying, stay in the present moment.
trust, trust. Don't let this darkness trick you into getting all freaked out and angry,
because when you're angry, you'll say angry words. But, you know, this is a terrible way to ruin
whatever the fuck I'm saying. Have you ever gotten in an argument on MDMA?
Have you ever said a single shitty thing to someone when you're on ecstasy? Now, this is, I think,
a way, there might be a way. I'm not saying be on ecstasy all the time, but imagine if somehow
you could cultivate that part of yourself that shows up on a nice MDMA tab. If you could cultivate
that. In Buddhism, that's called Bodhi Chita. And it's the awakened heart. If you could cultivate
that, then whatever came out of your mouth, whatever you did, theoretically, would be much better
than what you do when you're angry, freaked out, scared, and pissed off. So maybe the first step
is to take more ecstasy,
which brings me to a plug for my new business.
Trussell MDMA.
Go to Trussell.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Trussel MDMA church wafers, too.
That would be the best, dude.
No, I just feel like, you know,
the idea is like as much as you can
cultivate compassion in your own heart
and see what happens.
The best thing I noticed, too,
I just go on a walk with a friend.
When Saul was walking, dude,
when Saul was walking,
was he walking alone out there?
That's a great question. I don't know.
Can you look that up with Saul was on the road to, where is it, Damascus?
Damascus.
I'm guessing alone.
No, Saul was.
No, what to go!
This is awesome.
No, Saul was not alone when he was traveling to Damascus.
According to the biblical account in Acts 9,
he was accompanied by a group of traveling companions who were rendered speeches by the heavenly light and sound.
He all saw it.
Wow.
So, yeah, I think, I don't know.
There's nothing I enjoy more these days, bro, that honestly is going on a walk with a
friend or something like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Theo, you seem great.
I do.
You do.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, your energy's really like, you've got, like, what's the word?
What are they call it it now?
Your aura.
I don't know what the word.
My kid the other day, it's so funny when they start saying like kid insults.
And it's a brutal insult.
He was talking about somebody's like, their aura is chopped.
Damn.
Have you heard that?
Yeah, someone said that.
Chopped aura.
Your aura is not chopped right now, man.
Someone called me chopped onk one time.
Someone drove by and called me f*** it one month ago.
What?
For no reason.
Huh?
Where?
Because I had two bags of fucking shopping clothes.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, I know I bought a lot.
But still, I, yeah.
Yeah, dude, it was just because I think, I think because I was, like, tying my shoe,
but I bent over, like, at the hip instead of, like, kind of squatted down.
That's fucked up.
That's crazy, dude.
I know.
That's crazy, dude.
Because I, like, bent, like, fully.
Just because, like, yeah, I get it, but it's like, God, just say it.
Roll the window up and just say it to yourself or whatever.
That's a rare experience for.
right? Like, how often does that happen to you?
I don't know, dude, but I put, I put stuff out in the world that didn't need you to be out there, dude.
Dude, when we were kids, we would write, this is horrible to say in this crazy way to end this conversation.
Thank you for the compliments, dude.
I am in a space where I'm trying to ask myself a few more questions instead of just take how I feel.
I'm like, what's this feeling trying to show me?
Yeah.
You know, like, okay, if I'm angry, why, like, okay, what do I get by being angry right now?
I'm just trying to question a little bit more about what's going on.
But when I, yeah, dude, we used to do this.
We were kind of messed up.
We would like write that, and we might take this out.
We used to write the N-word on a piece of paper, right, to get it out of our system.
And we would put it into a bottle, like a message in a bottle.
And then we'd throw them in this river, not far from our house, throw them off this bridge off into this river.
And then the craziest part was, though, dude, like a couple months later, we're over at the park,
which is like a mile from where we're throwing them off, dude.
We see a dad and his kid find, pick up a fucking,
pick up one of these bottles
and the kid opens it up.
That's so sad.
And the dad's like, what is it saying?
We're just like, oh, bro, we got to find a better way to dispose of these.
There's a racist dude shipwrecked around here.
So, dude, we live and learn, man.
That's what we do.
You can live and learn in one of the best possible ways.
Dude, this is honestly the most fun conversation I've probably had in a year and a half.
That means the world to me, Theo.
That's the truth.
I love talking with you, man.
It's such a joy.
Thanks for having me on the show.
It's the truth.
You bet, dude.
I'm going to come on Mystery Boys.
I want to go down a rabbit hole.
So we got to procure a nice one.
Oh, yeah.
And you can check out Mystery Boys with the good.
We know he works for good.
Kurt Metzger.
I would argue saintly.
Okay.
Saint Metzger, dude.
St. Metzger.
I'll vote for it.
Yeah.
Duncan Trustle, thanks so much, bro.
Thanks for having me on.
I really appreciate it, Theo.
Thanks for watching you guys
Now I'm just floating on the breeze
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves
I must be
Cornerstone
That ground
I'll share this piece of mind
I found I can feel it
In my bones
