This Past Weekend - Back from Outdoors | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #276
Episode Date: May 7, 2020New Merch https://theovonstore.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by… Lakeside Maple ...Use code THEO for 15% off at https://lakesidemaple.com Raycon Get 15% off your order at https://BuyRaycon.com/THEO Manscaped Use code THEO for 20% off + free shipping at https://manscaped.com/theo ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Music “Drunk Outdoors” - North Mississippi Allstars https://bit.ly/DrunkOutdoors_NorthMississippiAllstars__ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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all right it's that time baby it's that time baby it's may may I listen to a
little something for the G's and may may is may may may is interesting isn't it
because may you know it's really that's when the calendar kind of starts asking
you a question may I do this may I bring the summer may I just reel in a big
batch of sunshine may I make you sweat may it's interesting huh may may may may
may you know what's that old joke they say what do a gay cow say may there's
something like that man today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza
1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles gray block get
that hitter I was in a I just got back from the really from the outdoors I was
out there in southern Utah or so you being out there and seeing a lot of
different animals they got small animals and they got large animals they got
alcoholics also they got it all and did a little camping did a little yak
little kayaking not a cocaine and got into it just I mean it was like mother
nature's left her damn zipper down and I got straight up in there you feel me it
was like mother nature just I mean I really God I just really got up in it
and that mother nature and you get out there in southern in southern Utah or so
you that's what people call it but you get out there they got a lot of people
you know you have a you got some people they got a little bit of a whistle in
her and their talk when they're talking how you doing whistling you know they
got people really just salt of the earth kind of you'll fucking you'll lick a
dude's arm and it'll really taste like salt just that kind of people you know
um you know kind of they'll have a man he'll have a little you'll have a
treat in his pocket for an animal and that's natural you'll see him just break
that bastard out and break out of you know an organic tootsie roll or
something or a homemade chocolate for a little badger for a mountain cat or
something it's that kind of space it's beautiful if you've never been I just got
back and I'm happy to be here and I'm happy to be here with you guys let's get
into it
now
now we're cooking with gas on the front burner hot wing gas station down on the corner
cooking with gas on the front burner bumpin' a junk out the trunk let's go get drunk outdoors
if you got money you can get a little bit if you got money you can get that
hitter if you got money you can get a little bit if you got money get that
and it is 2020 2020 and it is the time it is it and yeah I'm feeling who I'm
feeling I'm feeling you know I got that gumption in my junction brah I'm feeling
that that lift in my gift you know and I get that when I go in and then and then
in a nature I get that recharge you know I get nature just like just puts a damn
just a like a hose of just just just nature sauce right into my veins and I
just feel like a little I start feeling a little more just part of the earth you
know I feel more like I could just if I see a rabbit and I wouldn't be scared or
anything even if he was violent and even if he had a little knife on him or even
if he had a little cut of you know a little sack of cocaine or something on
his little ass I would be more you know you just more in touch with nature you
know a bird will shit on you and you'll smile a little you'll still be pissed but
you you can giggle first you like oh look yeah all right now I'm pissed but
all right mmm good to be here we're late the podcast is late we're late did you
know hey this is Antonia my husband Caleb and I were a little worried about
you because your podcast didn't come on and we always listen to it in the
morning at any random time I'm a I'm a registered nurse and been working a lot
with the COVID patients well thank you for for working up there if you as an
RN and I'm sorry that it's late but aren't you glad that is it that at least
it is gonna be late thank you guys for thinking about me thanks for calling and
checking I appreciate it somebody else knew it was late yo still fine how you
doing hey I was looking for your your podcast it's not up yet man I'm not I'm
not I'm not bagging on it just looking out for you hope you well and shitty
shitty gang gang and I'm sorry that it's late you know I was out there and I was
just enjoying I went you know I got enough dual person and single person
kayak I met a man I was jogging and I met a man over there at from a group
called guru Zion because that's where I went camping and stuff was out near out
east of st. George Utah and that southern Utah and and it's really they got a lot
of rock out there mystery rock you'll see a hieroglyphics petroglyphics and
that's basically this old graffiti that's in that as Indian graffiti right
there you know a native just carved something in there into a rock you know
he might have wrote oh Rhonda's got that nasty nasty and you'll see that carved
in or a rock from a couple hundred years ago you know oh yeah you know you know
little sidestep has that you know it'll be a lot of Native American graffiti like
yeah a little little sidestep has that uh that pow pow titty-titty you'll see you
know just just like graffiti you'd see now but it's from the past and you can
go on different trails and see it and they got um real weathered looking a lot
of people they've been standing in the wind out there because it gets real
windy oh if you put your ear up to a damn kite you'll hear that thing get
erect because this is wind country this is I mean you'll sometimes you'll see a
sailboat out there just fucking walking around because that's how much it
enjoys that breeze out there and out and so you and it's um and I do you know it
just said you know I got out there I went and met up with my family and it was
just normal I went to a restaurant did I went to a restaurant and had orders I
ordered something oh you got something yeah I got it all right I'll give you a
little money for it okay we you want to eat it here yeah I'll eat it here hell
I'll pay you four extra dollars watch me eat it how is that not an option at a
restaurant for a few extra dollars they watch you eat it you know here's two
extra here's six extra dollars won't you watch me ingest this for you know
won't you coach me on my eating okay you chewing too hard with us to on the
right side you know won't you chew a little more on the starboard side you
know balance your bow there you go all right swallow you know it just be nice
if they had that could be an upsell option at a restaurant or eatery if you
had a sweet local eatery and somebody says okay they bought at $19 stake you
know they buy that high dollar meat cut and then you then you offer that
upsell all right for five extra dollars I'll watch you eat it PTL baby praise a
lot you know people would be enjoying you they would be buying that that extra
experience just to have that edible chaperone right there that little chew
daddy that little swallow jockey right there watching you ride the you know
just watching you experience your food restaurants are gonna start having to
do that kind of stuff because of Corvette they're gonna have to make that
extra dollar how do we pull in that extra side buck okay here's what we're
gonna offer a unique experience you know maybe they'll I'll watch you eat for
$7 I'll sit here and my love my love my little chubby cousin will watch you
eat Big Deandre or whatever or Big Keisha or whatever little Carrie you know
something like that for $9 I'll fucking tickle you while you eat you telling me
you wouldn't think about that that upgrade option I'm just telling you we have
to start thinking outside of the box you know you guys had some calls on how
things would change you with the with Corvette and and what we could be
looking at it in the future and I want to thank that all the audio on the way
in that was the north Mississippi all-stars with their song Drunk Outdoors
and we'll put the link in the YouTube where you can purchase that and also you
know subscribe you know if you feel that I don't like to ask for things or maybe I
do hell I don't know if I do or don't but if you would like to do be a
subscriber of something this is something and would love for you to
subscribe to the channel I hope everybody's doing well I want to get into
some things you guys had some some interesting concepts about how life
would change in the new post-corvid and here are some here's a couple of
thoughts you guys had here was a call getting what's up chief what up chief
boy and you know this fella probably huffing on that bag you don't get the
name chief these days chief used to be a Native American superior term if you're
a captain of the Native Americans if you basically this you know the Chris Pratt
of Julia if you's a real you know if you that top dog in the in the feather in
that in that in that feather club then you would get that name chief but more
recently chief is more of a okay you know little Gary does a lot of chief in
that hey sucking on that gas bro puffing that that goo goo that herb baby that
that weed huffing that nasty nasty you know he huffing that fuck you know Mr.
McGregor's gunpowder dog I'm talking about marijuana I'm talking about that
puff puff I'm talking about that to your brain that dope weed onward I was
watching the podcast of the fucking ladies night one whatever the fuck that
was yeah it was ladies night brother onward watching that shit just now you
said what do you think's gonna go away in the near future talking about people
in their temps taking shit like that right we're talking about people last
on last episode we're talking about people getting their temperatures taken
when you go to an event you know you go somewhere and now in the future but they
might you know take your temperature check if a snot they might you know
touch your kids little ass or something see if it's hot see if you bring it in
a little Timothy or whatever with that hot ass because that you can't do it you
can't do that you're not gonna be able to do that as well you bringing that up
temperature temp temp tempathy it's not gonna go over well with others let's
hear more brother thank you for the call what's gonna go away I think you know
you're not from Texas like I am you know but they probably had 10 or 15 makes
two restaurants in Louisiana what's gonna go away though is chips in queso and
chips and salsa son that shit is done homey that's not gonna be on the menu no
more son unless you get it individually it's not an appetizer no more you know
what I'm saying cuz what's everybody doing they're getting the chips bring
your chips to the dip putting a straightening mouth going back to the
chips going back to the gift putting back straightening mouth damn you know
lean with it rock with it huh no you can't sanitize every time you touch a
chip you know what I mean them chips you're just gonna be too salty after a
while so so yeah all right Peter all right Peter queso and salsa gang gang
bro man wow I hadn't thought about that yeah yeah you're gonna have to each
person want to bring a couple of their own chips from home I guess and you know
or yeah yeah I don't know what they're gonna do hmm but yeah you can't have
that group you can't have that that that swimming pool in the middle of the
table you can't have that little that little cheese fucking strip mall in
the little of the table and everybody's just scooping in getting this picking up
a pair of Adidas or picking up a pair of you know Motorola or something or
get some speakers or some fucking Chinese food that Chang chop you know yeah
then I can have that group that little wall that little um then I can have that
little where everybody's just hands are in there just that little bang bang bang
up there with the chips hmm that's gonna be interesting man yeah that could be
one thing that could go away now you got to bring a couple chips from home or
something you got to write you know your name on the chip Darren you know
little Ricky and the little Ricky got four chips you know and Darren got nine
chips Darren's big-ass got nine chips an actor actor over there and you know he
get you know chips running his family so he got 40 chips come on actor well you
got 40 chips bro shoot the nine-pointer papa but yeah it's gonna be cuz and
everybody yeah you're not gonna have be able to have that that meeting that meet
up in the middle of the table that could be something that could change here's
another thing let's go how things could change
CEO Vaughn this is Pete from Central Pennsylvania what's up Pete and that's
there out of Central PA and yeah Central Pennsylvania if you want to see the Amish
and the Amish are basically like they're kind of like it's like Halloween but it's
kind of like the most boringest Halloween you ever been to bro and you
got to work the whole time dog that's the anyway they have a lot of Amish in
Central PA gang shit brother onward live about an hour south of that shimokin
there where they burnt down the Dunkin Donuts oh yeah up there shimokin murder
where they burned down the Dunkin Donuts Donuts
Dunkin Donuts Donuts oh yeah we used to meet up at the Dunkin Donuts yeah I had
me a um I had up my parole officer sometime we'd meet up over by the Dunkin
Donuts bro you know I used to you know use the can in there maybe wash out my
pants in there bruh gang all right so I just wanted to call and comment about
the you know the change to the handshake you brought up on last week's
podcast man I came up with something the other day I think it might catch on I
think I like to call it the ET greeting or maybe just outstretch that arm stick
that finger out and just just barely touch the tip that way you know you get
a little greeting but you can also maintain that social distance and I
think it also might change the meaning of giving somebody the finger so that's
what I got man love you love the podcast keep doing your thing thank you brother
I appreciate this message and that's a yeah could the handshake we talked about
that last week could the handshake change and what you would do because it
does seem like a lot to give all ten fingers out to somebody in a shake so
maybe you do that one finger just that little that ET that just that little
touch me that touch me tender and you also you would know if the other person's
real wasted or not because you have to touch their finger if the line fingers
up so if their finger they can't even hit yours then you'd be like all these
guys all jacked up on something dude and you know and look there bro I didn't
know I remember one time a buddy of mine and he's a young homosexual fell
actually and he's certified he's certified he'll tell you he is and he's
really he's been with men and he knows he's you know I'm not I'm just I'm not
telling you I'm not tattling on anybody's wiener you know this guy's
certified you know prefers homo eroticism and he I remember the day he
told me that he was you know he really loved men like that like specialty and
that he really liked to hug men and just you know like he liked to sometimes put
his hands up in another man's shirt while the man still had the shirt on and
things like that and and he said oh I remember when he told me I didn't know
what to do dude he told me and I didn't know what to do this probably about maybe
11 years ago and I remember it's taken one of my fingers but I'm even joking and
just put it into his mouth off of 23rd Street over there in Santa Monica by the
park and I don't it was it I don't even know why and he laughed and I kind of
laughed afterwards but I just didn't know the perfect I don't like certain
interactions you know how to behave during it someone falls down a stair you
know or someone falls off the back of a um you know the back of a of a building
of a one-story of a ranch style home you know what to do you go you run over you
help them you put your hand hey you put both arms on them are you okay what's
up you know somebody walks up to you says hello you know how to do it you
shake their hand you put your hand out they put their hand out that's a shake
that's a meeting of hands each person brings one hand to the meeting but they
don't tell you how what to do if somebody comes out of the closet they
don't give you how do you behave how do you gesticulate that what do you do with
your arms when somebody comes out of the closet and I didn't know I just didn't
know what to do I just remember taking one of my fingers and just put it right
in his mouth dude and it was an it was a it was a natural reaction it wasn't a
choice I made it was a non-choice that I did but that's something that could
change people do something what else now what do you do maybe you take somebody's
temperature and slap them maybe you start smelling them you smell them back at
their pants like a baby you know I don't know what it's anything could be you
know things are gonna change another call came in things are gonna change
possibly hey Theo what up baby gang gang this is Ryan from what's the math what
up Ryan what the f baby what's up I had a comment on what you saying last week
episode about some stuff that we might start seeing oh yeah brother and you
sound fired up buddy boy you've been having Red Bull Ernie or something
onward kind of the new normal with all this going on and one of the things I
remember hearing on on some news radios to the other day at outdoor concerts and
festivals things like that they're starting to experiment with like they
want to fly these drones over the top of the concert and these drones are gonna
have like infrared sensors that can tell if someone's hot they can see if
someone's running hotter than the rest of the concert goers so they're gonna fly
these drones about they're gonna pick people out and then whatever the
security there is gonna go walk up to them be like hey we've got to pull you
outside take your temperature or whatever something like that wow yeah I
could see it you out there enjoying a little well in Elson you know or a
little uh you know Megan the Stallion or something or Big Meg or whatever you
know you out there joy enjoying a little bit of skinny Adele and next thing you
know they release a batch of hot hunters just just they got just temperature
drones just a bunch of damn frickin Fahrenheit Falcons just nippling at
you and you got one buddy he's hot bruh he's hot but he still wants to party
he's on a couple hits of acid you know and he's you know he just he's deep deep
you know when he's listening to fucking he's at one concert but he's listening
to another concert on on headphones you know he's at widespread panic but he's
listening to uh Michael Jackson on his ear pods and he's on two hits of acid
and he's running high on temperature on body temp and he's he's he's saying hey
guys hide me hide me cover me because he don't want one of them one of them
electronic temperature birds coming and getting them and then the bouncers come
over the heat bouncers hey hey hey hey what's up man are you hot bro it used to
be you got to be hot to get in the club now if you're hot you got to get out the
club it's full circle hey we need some ice cold bitches man dude only cold
bitches only I'm talking about real legitimate bitches from Norway Nordic
Greenland Iceland let me get that Antarctica girl bring her to the club
oh she only 88 degrees man that she could stay in hell she could be an
investor she could be a silent investor it's gonna be cold people only at the
club people will be wearing ice around their neck real ice diamonds ain't you
should bro I need I need 14 degree gold do you have that that's what I need it's
gonna change everything's gonna change is it though I mean look do I really
think it is I really do not I really do not I think I really think that we've
taken a good measure of trying to battle this virus I think we've taken a
really good measure also think it's time to get things back going and there's
some people like life will never be the same you know some people like man you
will never children will be born in incubator you won't you won't even see
your child till he's seven you'll know don't you'll never go on a date you're
crazy you'll never wash your own ass boy you will never wash your own ass boy
you little freak you little you little bitch but that's not true I think
things are gonna go back very normal I really do I really really do here's
another call that came in I you guys had so many great ideas man as always the
hotline is nine eight five six six four nine five zero three you guys had so many
interesting interesting things that could happen you know that could happen
onward yo Theo my name is Chris Jones and from the morning what's up Chris
Jones and I used to know a fellow named Toby Jones or actually Chris Jones was
his name and they call him Toby and he was real real white and his eyes his
eyes was always open pretty wide you know he kind of had those eyes where you
know he would tell you he was going to sleep but you didn't believe him you were
like no way and he had a real he was a young fellow that lived by me growing up
and he was kind of tough he was a rap scallion and he wore kind of large shirts
that were collared and just a damn large shirt and sometime his shirt was so big
he'd go inside he'd be like look man I'll be right back and he would just go
inside of his shirt or what where is he and he'd come back out and have a
liquorice or have a uh um a Jolly Rancher like damn where the shirts come
with a damn kitchenette but they called him Toby and he was a good friend when
I was young and he was a good kid and and I enjoyed um I enjoyed living in the
same neighborhood as that boy kind of onward just kind of an experience with
this whole coronavirus thing that I don't think anyone's called in with yet
or at least I haven't heard it um so my uncle passed away a couple weeks ago oh
damn man sorry to hear that brother and RIP to his beautiful ass brother and I'm
sure he was a good man brother and uh you know it's it's an interesting journey
life because you can die that's the real caveat onward all good I'm not been
out of shape about it really too much or anything he's a good duty at stage four
colon cancer and he fought it for two and a half years you know oh man can you I
mean I cannot even fathom brother fighting something that is you know
fighting something that is in your own ass that is um you know that's like a
level that's like that's like a Zelda or that we'll never know about I mean that
is the ultimate mortal combat really is fighting a curious disease that is
inside of your own ass body ass ass you know I'm talking about butt hmm and I'm
sorry to hear that brother and my father passed away at colon cancer too and
it's you know it's crazy to think that something could be in your ass that
doesn't like you or that doesn't want you to be alive onward you know my family
was mainly grateful for that and so he was in Kansas City in Kansas City they're
still shut down they couldn't have more than you know however many people in the
building for the funeral and he has five kids and his wife and then the the
pastor and the videographer and all that because they were putting the funeral on
YouTube so one story short my dad didn't even get to go to the funeral none of
us were able to go to funeral his kids were able to and his wife was able to
and everything we just watched his funeral on YouTube just a couple hours
ago wow so they YouTube and death you know the grim reaper has is is up is
upgrading his technology that's what it's come to people the grim reaper is
upgrading his technology okay this man have to be somewhere watching his uncle
die on a damn YouTube
onward and it was just it was just kind of a trip it was just really weird and
I'm like the the emotion wasn't really there watching this funeral on YouTube
and even for my dad it was just it just wasn't quite the same he even said
something about it just you know the human brain may be processing that kind
of emotion differently I don't know man just kind of weird I'm very sorry to
hear about the the passing in your family and I'm really sorry for your dad you
know you know I got to see my brother this weekend and out there and so you
didn't it's you know it's a special gift to have a brother and I'm and man I
bet that was really tough for him but Jeepers Jeepers friend I when you hear
this and you know uh yeah how you gonna be on you what if in the middle of the
thing you know you get an email reminder or a notification of a damn
tiktok or something and you you know they're sitting they're right there you
know rent you know you know Johnny was a good man and he he survived today by and
then it's like you know what if somebody comments on the thing gang gang first
what if somebody writes that on the freaking funeral you know it just mmm
yeah that I mean that's just a great you know somebody writes first on your on
your uncle's funeral or somebody writes like oh I thought this was magic and I
thought they were gonna cut the thing in half or something it just I mean it the
way it's all it all could get wild it all could get wild there's some great
some great suggestions man some great thoughts about what could happen what
could the what could the world be like you know I was over here I was in
Springdale I was in Rockville and I had a nice time got to go fishing and I
caught an endangered animal fish I caught an endangered animal fish and that
thing that little bastard he was he looked rare right when I saw him I said
damn he looks you know some fish look like they live in the lake that they're
in some fish look like they just passing through like they're from like a
different place like oh okay and he had that vibe oh he this fellow fellas and
out of town or you know he ain't a local boy he seemed like he had read a few
books you know like he had a different vibe in him and it was a chub it's called
a north chub endangered Utah and this fish the Utah chub
and the river I was in was called the Virgin River and it is it's a special
river the Virgin River Utah let me tell you about it I want to tell you one
interesting fact about this waterway the Virgin River chub federally listed
endangered species 18-inch rare and beautiful it says here this fish is the
top native predator in the Virgin River and I could I could have sensed that a
little it it was daytime when I called it but I could see it getting into some
shit at night it had that look about him the Virgin River chub feeds on small
fish insects and they like deep pools with boulders and debris and I caught
one of those bastards boy and I caught him on liver I fish on chicken liver and
I fish on a worm American worm and yeah I caught him man so so that was nice we
caught a couple bull heads and my brother caught a snapping turtle a big
thing and we put everything back we put everything back I'm gonna let you know
that today's episode is is brought to you by Ray Khan Ray Khan and you know we
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please this past weekend likes to support small businesses and we want to
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to know got a couple listeners right here let's let's catch them what up Joe
from Philly gang gang but go just calling in and say yo man you're so
it's funny as hell bro all night I'm at work doing overnight freight I'm having
my my my bluetooth earphones in gang brother and I appreciate you listen
overnight freight as well also us a nickname for burglary a burglary and I
like the way you terminize it but uh and I don't disrespect it I don't
disrespect criminalism if you're a businessman if you out there just pocket
in a little of this or a little of that but if you working at a job overnight
and doing overnight freight or whatever I respect that shit bro gang shit
another gentleman hey Theo this is Logan from Alberta Canada just wanted to let
you know we got listening way up here in the great white north they get set up
here and up here in Canada I'm a blacksmith and what a dichotomy a black
Smith in the great white north and that's about the most Canadian thing you
know it's so white there they got to make a black guy and that crazy they got a
you got a dude out there chiseling out a black dude in a shed you know chiseling
together a um a Darius or you know chiseling together a sharkish
actually a farrier so what that is is I take raw steel and I build horseshoes
in a forge in an anvil old-school style just like the medieval days build
horseshoes and knives and stuff and predominantly I build horseshoe and nail
them on horses feet they can go up and go to work oh I see what you're talking
about um yeah man I mean if that's what you want to do then that's what's being
done and I think that's beautiful to be taking care of a horse's foot cuz the
rest of us we see a horse we don't think about that I see a horse I think I
want to put a couple dollars on this one striped passenger or whatever his name
is birdie's a diary you know Johnson's pocket I'll throw $200 on that thing you
know tricky Russell I'll throw $40 on tricky Russell to come in third but you
don't think that there's somebody sees a horse and says you know what boy about
to throw some shoes on that bitch and um and look I look I think that's
beautiful I would love to see you guys up the ante though I'd love to see you
put a little whoa put a um I'd love to see you guys put a put a Nike on a
little wolf I I'd love to see you throw a damn crock on a on a crock now that
would be some G shit I mean I think it's savages hell to be hammering a piece of
metal into a Clydesdale but if it helps him then I think it's beautiful but I
would love to see you put a damn uh put a little piece of fooboo footwear on a
frog now that would be crazy I throw some asics on a on a on a sum I'd love to see
an ASIC on a fox people like damn that fox as fast as Fox because he he got
ASICs thank you guys though thank you for supporting the podcast I want to let
you know that flowers are blooming the grass is growing and it's time to mow
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your balls will thank you you know I remember when I was when I was a child
for one for one year I went to a school and it was called lion elementary and
they misspelled it L-Y-O-N and named after this guy Donald Lion and he was the
first man actually in our town that had ever seen I guess a that had ever seen
a Louisiana black bear and he didn't have one or anything but he had seen it
and no one else had seen it and there used to be value back then to see in
something before you could just have a camera or something you had to see it and
tell people you could maybe draw on a picture or make them a thing out of
clay oh here it is this is what it is you know it's a it's a bear like well
there it looks like a fat goat well well I'm not that good of a sculptor but
that doesn't mean I didn't see it and I went to that school man it was a kind
of it was a school that was a little closer to where I grew up and it was it
was it's specialized in special education and these are a lot of children
who were mental you know mentally unique rare a lot of kids kind of you seem like
they're good they want to do magic or something but they're just children and
they don't and they just you know sometimes they be in remedial classes
you'll see a kid four years in a second grade but all of them are happy about it
and they loved it and and it was good man and I went because it was close to us
and I enjoyed it and the principal was this man Troy or T Roy Jackson and he
could whistle dude this guy god he could whistle my god he could just pass wind
through his lips boy he could just whistle man imagine something flying out
of your lips through a really small hole now imagine that thing is beautiful
that's whistling and and and he could do it and he could do it man he could whistle
but he could whistle from one end of the property to the other you could hear
him at the other end of the property and which is one of the reasons one one of
the reasons why he even got the job and and that man could God he could whistle
and sometimes you know well you know sometimes I still think about him and I
think he passed away he might have died all right let's get into a couple more
calls here here we go you'll see I'm in a conundrum onions or onions oh that is a
toughie huh man that is a toughie you know cuz you know it onion onion
is the real deal onion is the real onion comes with all the emotions you know
it's probably the national vegetable of this past weekend listeners you know
this is the kind of podcast sometimes you got to crack into that onion onion is
it's just that you know it's the one that went to school and it got its you
know it's it's had some tough times and maybe it went through a bad marriage or
two and then fun yens are just fucking onions that have just that has gooped
out they gooped out on methamphetamines or you know they've been smoking doing
cigarettes and doing a little bit of um you know sneaking a little sip of
fireball you know at church or something that's a tough man onions are fun
yens but fun yens got that fun in them you know they go in a community college
you know when they had it they worked at subway for a couple months before some
shit went up shit went down and some money went missing but onions onions you
know they grow in a real garden then they know other vegetables you know they
might have a carrot in their phone they might have a you know a way to get in
touch with a rhubarb or something in a roll of decks at their house you know
onion has a chance to be part of other recipes an onion onion you might see an
onion in a salad in a salad or salad or salad actually not salad you might see
an onion in a salad you know you might see an onion in it on the edge of a
steak or but fun is nobody's ever serving a damn steak and fun yens a fun yens
ain't coming on a burger so I'm staying real with it man real with it rock with
it I'm going onions I'm going onions on that one thank you for for checking in
about that as well we got this call that came in oh thank you for calling on
there and baton Rouge you know spent much much of time down there and I bought
some cocaine down there once and and went jogging on it and that's called run
running the gram baby gang on what I got a question for you who do you think would
win and a few between Hillary Clinton and Carol Baskin who's got the better
hit man and also they both kind of look alike don't they they do have a
similar visual when I get that visual of me look a little similar who would win
out of Hillary and Carol Baskin damn well you know Hillary's gonna have a lot
more firepower she's gonna have men in suits doing her business she's gonna
have a lot more she's gonna have workers carrying it out Carol's gonna bait you
with that kitty and then snuff you out you know Carol's gonna do that you know
flowered headdress let's go skip through the garden and then damn hit you with
that sharp rake that's a tough one I mean Hillary just has so much there's so
much you know Hillary's gonna be harder to get to Carol's gonna be probably kind
of easy access she's on YouTube but Hillary you might be able to bait Hillary
more with with something I don't know I'd be vicious I'd love to watch them
wrestle man I would love to watch them wrestle that's a good one man that's a
toss up for me that is a toss up for me what else is going on man oh I'll tell
you I was gonna tell you when I was at that school so I'm at that lion
elementary and this was a secondary the premier elementary school in our town
was Covington elementary and lion's elementary was it was secondary and it
was just a it was a type of place it was you know it was just it was a second
it was a you know it was the bad news bears of education it was you know we
didn't have some of the books people had just written them some of the school
books somebody's daddy had written like Jesus it's the half of this is wrong you
know the kickball it was just a volleyball and somebody wrote kick on it
with a marker or marks a lot you know the windows the windows have been like
repurposed from a local prison so they a lot of them was that you know you
couldn't see through them it was just mirror-sided you know and and you'd have
people had carved crazy stuff into them you know I didn't do it you know God
shelf be my last decider just you know prison prison chatter it was just a
secondary elementary and they had this boy there this kid Wyatt power was his
name and now I mean in hindsight that's that's a wild name to have dude you know
Wyatt power but at the time I don't it wasn't anything racial it was probably a
it was probably like the fat family name because I think he was Wyatt you know
Wyatt power the sixth or whatever and he was always he always had him had a
little cricket on him or a little was salamander you know we always had a
little snail or something or a little a little half a hand full of lightning
bugs daytime was making him work the daytime shift and that should hurt me
this should hurt my feelings man when you see a lightning bug working in the
daytime you can't shake that once you've seen it but I remember it was
show and tell and he told everybody in class or that he was going to get a
cricket right to pass gas right because remember when you were a child this was
third grade so passing gas or farting or doing body fart was about the most it
was like the it was kind of like banned for kids it's the only instrument really
you have two instruments your mouth when you do your underarm like that and then
your butt so he would do farts body farts he said he could get a cricket to do
one so we're all like saying F F F or whatever kids say you know not F but
whatever means F F you Wyatt all of this and that BS in him telling him to go
BS himself well here's what happened so the day he was supposed to do it I
remember seeing him at recess and he was just pacing around and just scared and
he was on these shitty monkey bars we had and we did I mean a monkey dude if a
monkey saw these monkey bars he would just he would not even go buy them you
know they were more for a swan or something you might see a sparrow on them
they just everything at this school was just rotgut and so I could tell he was
nervous I could tell he was scared right and because I'm like he there's he can't
do this he can't do this you know a man can't get a um little cricket to do a
fart you know it can't he can't do it so anyway next thing I know do we're back
in class and he had I guess gotten some flour right and we're all sitting there
watching and the teacher let him do it you know they were like just right before
class started they were gonna give him like two minutes to you know he was a
bit of a showman so I remember and this happened really fast but he like through
the flowery into where's we're all sitting there in like a semi-circle he
threw like through the flower in everyone's face and then while we were all
kind of what I guess he thought was going to be blinded by the flower he turned
around and he basically ended up defecating onto the floor of the
classroom but I think what he had meant to do was pass gas do fart I think he
had meant to do fart but he you know he was he was gonna blind us with the flower
and then make a do a fart a body fart and and then have us believe that this
that the cricket had done it because there was a cricket sorry there was a
cricket there and instead man everybody had flour in the next you know I just
remember it really smelled like poop and then somebody said oh why it pooped on
the floor and it was just you know it just got you just it's hard to pull off
magic is really it's hard to pull off magic if you're doing it all alone but
anyway man what else do we have let's get into a little bit more so we can get
on with our day man thank you guys for all the all the communication and
thanks for caring that the podcast was late you know I was just I was just
enjoying myself you know I was really just enjoying myself we got a patreon
question that came in and this from Kim chickens camping is fun beautiful
country out here how do you like getting being back inside do you have a balcony
you can sit on to enjoy nature I have a park near me so I go over there but yeah
it was really nice you know I went and stayed at a campground so you know I
wouldn't stay at a campground I went with my friend and and it was it was nice
we stayed at a campground one night stayed by my family's in-laws the other
night my brother and his wife were there with their children and yeah just you
know you you hook the water into the camper and just did it all you know you
got to take out the gray water take out the dark water you know plugging in for
electricity running the generator we didn't even use a generator so that was
nice it was nice and cool and if you've never driven through Zion National Park
the park wasn't open but you could drive through it you could motor on and hot
diggity it was beautiful and I like be you know you go to a campground they got
somebody next door they set up they they bring their whole life out there they
slanging they got a strawberry garden some people go camp at these campgrounds
for a year they'll do a six month lease you park that thing plug in the
electricity $50 a night beautiful great way to spend that stimulus check
speaking of stimulus check here's a call that came in what's up what's up
Cooper thank you for calling brother onward I was just listening to the
episode and you know you talking about being grateful for the 1200 and
everything and now our government really helping us out and listen if you're
struggling and you needed that 1200 then I'm definitely glad you got it but when
you really look at it man at all the money they spent and printed for the
stimulus it was about $6 trillion so you know they that's more than $15,000 per
person most of that's going to you know wealthier people it's going all back to
the top you know and the reality is that's our money in the first place
they're just going into debt robbing future generations the government
doesn't produce any money itself so it's nice that people are getting the
couple crumbs but number one is their money in the first place and number two
everybody's going into debt an additional almost $20,000 just to get a little
thousand so thank you man I appreciate it yeah you know I don't know it's I don't
know a ton exactly how it works you know I do know that if we just print money
that it lowers the overall value of money because there's more some people
are just like just give me money get me and they gave me some money man print
money man you see people out there like why can't the government just give me
for $60 why can't they just give me $60 well I mean they can but it's just like
in the end the value the overall value of it goes down because if we just print
more of it yeah it's look at those yeah there's definitely a lot more into it I
think my overall my point I felt like was just that and I think you're saying
it as well that that yeah like we get to it's nice on the surface if it looks
this way but that there's bigger things in the background going on that are
affecting us more long-term and yeah I agree I agree man that there's a lot
happening but I guess yeah it's just and it's even if the money that we're
making ends up lowering the value of our money down the road if it you know yeah
it might not be the best long-term move but yeah at least we're just in it we're
in a whether it's good or or not it is interesting that we have and it makes us
feel good that we have a structure here in the US where they can kind of where
at least people are able to be helped you know I feel like we do help sometimes
the lowest common denominator people that don't want to contribute I wish there
was a way to to see if people are contributing to society you know I wish
there was an evaluation or a score in a way but it would have to encompass so
many things would have to encompass you know their ability based on their
circumstances based on their opportunity would have to encompass all those
things but yeah just you get so many opportunities in America you know if you
you know if you if you lose your home you can get a you know you can get a
mortgage you can get a second mortgage you can get it you can lose your home
you can get a mobile home you could be homeless and still get a money from the
government you know there's shelters we just there's so much there's so many
there's such a structure in place to to help us now how long how long can we
keep it going I don't know or at least the facade of it going I don't know it's
really interesting man it's a bigger conversation but here I'll hear let's
hear a little bit more on what you have to say about it you know you got to take
a little bit of a deeper look at it sometimes you can't just take everything
on face value and you know we do live in a great country and we live in a great
society and you know it you can't give all that credit to the government though
you know it that is just not the case it's you know the free market is the
people technology that's allowed us to live such comfortable lives it ain't
the goddamn government man so yeah man you know is any bravo would say look
into it yeah good call man yeah look into it yeah it's interesting with the
virus like that's why a lot of people they want they want to be able to open
their businesses back up they want to be able to they want to be able to go live
normal lives again and if we lived in a if we live in a communist country or
socialist then they the government could say okay shut down you have to do it
that's it but we don't live in that we live in you know a democracy where
people can have businesses and at a certain point it like the people want
their rights they want to be able to run their businesses so it's really
interesting you know it's a real experiment and I understand why people
now are like let's get back let's let's take some chances of getting it back to
normal you know other people like you want to kill every we want to kill
everybody you're gonna kill everybody well I mean some people could stay home
I mean you know it's that's the thing about America it's like every everybody
has a say you know when the government isn't just the be isn't the be all end
all and and and and the people have a voice or at least we think that we do
you know it's interesting man it's a lot of interesting levels of stuff going on
I personally I felt like when I was in I mean I was just in southern Utah but I
felt like I went to some I went to just a whole new world but I was able to go to
restaurants there's one horrible place I went to called porters I think it was
Jesus Christ why would you sell food to somebody if your food isn't any good
you're wasting your time your work you're wasting their time hey hey this is
garbage you want some huh you're gonna hate it and I don't even like I don't
even like it I work here and I don't even like it so nobody cares along the
entire transaction line anyway let's take another call or two that came in
man here we go thank you this Adrian Gregory calling from down here in
Oklahoma what's up Adrian thank you for calling young fella gang shit I'm sitting
here listening to your latest latest episode and the guy where he went to
college for nine years and this and that you know and that's bad ass that he
graduated finally kind of had a similar story you know growing up
wrestling you know throughout school got a college up with scholarships for
wrestling turns out ended up getting my girlfriend pregnant oh yeah boy wrestling
with that ass you feel me wrestling with them ovaries baby gang wife now you
know we've been together for 13 years but I had to put some of my stuff my some
of my dreams on hold you know but come this December I'll be graduating and
working on power lines out here you know gang shit keep doing you man I
really enjoy it gang gang buzz buzz man I look I like to call man I you know you
gotta you always have to work we got to stay working and you know you know you
say you had to put your dreams on hold and I and I could understand that it's
got to be really tough you know I've always had the dreams also of having a
family and of and of being able to be in that comfortable situation and you know
having that place to go home to in the evening and you know you open your door
and you know there's somebody there that cares about you and that you care
about and and and you maintain that you know you you know you wake up each day
and go to bed each night knowing that you know this is my family and you know
I'm not straying from this plan and this is what I'm here to do and it's funny
because to me that's almost a dream you know telling jokes and screwing around
basically or whatever I do I don't know but that kind of stuff was always the
easier part for me when I think of walking into a home and you know having
there be something that I love and you know and I want to touch them and be
naughty and everything and they got a child or something in the other room
maybe doing a you know one of those color by numbers or doing a you know
drawing some shit or something but you know just having that that place having
that continuity you know there's a lot of there's a lot of power in that that's a
real dream man I think you know you'll get other chances for your for your you
know you got to wrestle you'll get other chances to wrestle bro hell you up
there wrestling with voltage daddy dude you up there wrestling with them
gigawatts dude that frickin that frickin I'd hate to see one of those strong
cables put you in a damn leg lock son that should have be lights out dude that
thing will blow your occipital's right out of your ass but congratulations man
nine years in school you got it you got your family and look now they got all
these older leagues you could always get into a 40-year-old or wrestling you
know I mean I still want to go in train some jiu-jitsu I still want to get out
there onto the mats you know but but yeah you know we all have dreams and
some of them we get to do now and some we get to do later man but it sounds like
you're making some things come true in your life and also in the lives of
others man so I see you I see what you're doing bro you know and be safe up
there dog dang you up there on them power lines boy you wildin you wildin bro
good luck dude I don't want don't make me go to a damn YouTube funeral don't make
me comment buzz buzz because of the power that would be the first thing I
would comment all right let's listen let's get through let's get
through this this wonderful episode yeah we got another call of text coming
from patreon Aaron Lugo do you see any beautiful stars out in southern Utah I
did see some stars I did see some nice stars out there what did I see man the
mountains are just it it it was the most beautiful place I've seen in America I
mean it really was it just so majestic it just I mean we went out to Gooseberry
Point we went up the KTR we found snow for the kiddos and you know the nephew's
got to throw snow I met a kid out there at a mullet just like me a little
fellow named Colton or something or Colby or something I think named after
the cheese and just a beautiful just group out there my little nephew was
weird bro he's put in the front of his paint like his wet part of his crotch in
it like a front part of his pants in the water just cooling off his junk just
kids are weird man kids are weird and they're wonderful but they're in there
but they're also weird but you had a nice time man I was lucky to be able to go
do that and and it was a little risky at first but look I think we're gonna
smoothly get back in a regular life and I'm looking forward to it that's really
what I think and I hope everybody's adjusting and getting ready to adjust
comfortably and I hope that people have found some good some joy and some good
things have happened to them during this time let's take a call here we go 985
6649503 what up Tanner and from Nebraska baby and this is my third time
calling the first time I had to do a little short and second time I got
interrupted by a work call so I just wanted to say that that my car got broken
into and I lost all my tools that I need for school because I'm gonna be an
electrician I'm on the last quarter to be an electrical technology associate
degree so I just wanted to tell everybody to be safe and keep your tools
locked up and don't leave prescription glasses because they'll take those two
they'll take everything your ox cord and even my cologne so there must be a
market out there for that for used cologne but there well I used to you
know my mother with her a little while was in the secondary magnet market you
know people throw magnets away and they don't want them any more refrigerator
magnets and that kind of shit and for a while there in the in the 90s there was
a secondary market there for magnets magneting onward they left my car max
that's good but I just want to say thanks for everything you do they say it's like
cars like the house gang gang buzz boos gang man I'm sorry to hear about your
tools man that really who would take your tools dude you got to finish up
school man let me let me see if I can hit your hotline here dog
Tanner got them hitters hey man this is Theo Von bro can you hear me hey how's
it going man I got your call about the the tools man what happened
for me this is last Sunday and I went over to my girlfriend's house and she
lives like five minutes away from us where I live with my two buddies and blow
over to her house for a normal night and I came out and I got in my car I just
noticed everything was kind of thrown around and I was like oh that's kind of
weird maybe my girlfriend came in like in the night and like threw stuff around
and so the first thing I did is I went out in the trunk and all my tools
everything was gone my sunglasses were gone they left me my trap stick but yeah
everything was gone oh man dude that's the worst bro I'm sorry to hear that
dude and it's for school yeah so I'm a trade school to be an electrician and
I'm in my last quarter so I do my plumbing class which is now online
because of corona but then yeah so I just my next step is just to get a job on
the field and then I'm done with my degree word man well congratulations you
don't almost being done with the degree I wanted to see if maybe we couldn't help
out by if there's tools that you still need to replace a man we'd love to
replace him for you well yeah I mean that would be awesome I mean honestly I
tried to I try to tell everyone like this is just like a horrible thing that
happened but I mean it does happen and I mean I've been in a pretty great
position with my family they've kind of taken care of me and it's it's really
remarkable all the people have reached out and asked me if I needed tools so I
mean I mean there's some stuff that would be nice to get but I don't want to force
you guys oh no well it's no man I like your attitude brother and yeah we'd
love to we'll have Nick reach out and see if there's a couple of things that
we can't help out with or you know things that you need to you know that
that that you still need and whatever it is and we want to help out dude you know
I think it's cool to get a trade not you know and especially you know you're
there so close to the finish line and and I hate it when that kind of stuff
happens man yeah I told like my buddy's dad I told him about it because I I work
for him at the moment and he said just make sure you don't lose your faith in
humanity because not all people are like that and that kind of hit home for me and
I mean you can't just walk around with your head down I mean it's a bad lesson
that I had to learn and it sucks but I mean I'm not all people are like that so
yeah yeah that's true man I love that lesson bro I'm glad you just said that
man it's it is it's because it's so easy that we could just say oh everything's
like that it's so easy to just jump on that it's a little harder to keep our
own head up and and to kind of hold the line and say you know what there's
that's just one thing that happened it's unfortunate but that's not everybody
yeah and I mean the best thing is if you start thinking about it like that then
I mean think of all the times that it hasn't happened to you like how many
times have you gotten to somewhere safely and you haven't even thought about
well I didn't die today like it's it's easy to focus on the negatives but it's
hard to like focus on the positives so that's my kind of message and that's
what I've learned over this last week it's just kind of working through it and
just protecting myself and my family it's just recognize when you do have
something good so yeah yeah I love it man I love your attitude man I'm gonna
have Nick reach out and keep in touch and and if there's things that we can
help help you replace or anything you you know that you need to help you get
through to the end of the semester and we want to help out well yeah I appreciate
it so much thank you guys for doing everything you do keep me going through
it everything so I appreciate it well that's nice you to say man and best of
luck to with this last semester thank you so much all right peace Tanner man
have a good day brother all right gang for a piece man that's nice you know
that's nice to be reminded oh it's nice to be reminded that you know we can look
at you know we can look at the we can look at all the rocks or we could ride
in the river man
yeah just for that hit that really hit me at is to focus on the good bro it's a
lot of good out there a lot of fun stuff going on a lot of people having fun
we'll take this one this last call it came in this is kind of wild but I wanted
to hear it you know what's up to you Tyler from my Texas I wanted to tell
you that I rear-ended your car when I on my 18th birthday in Covington, Louisiana
and you got out and I was like oh my god it's my birthday and I just crashed
my car and I had a poor focus and you had a camera and you said it's your
birthday yeah it's all right me get out of here let me go never forget that
shit game that's funny man that's funny well I'm glad I'm glad that it worked
out that with that way Tyler man I probably it probably dude I remember I
would borrow a Camry sometimes and I wasn't supposed to be doing and I would
find get you know I would dip chewing tobacco real heavy that plug tobacco and
I'd vomit out of the windows of it so who knows man I could have been not in a
car that I was supposed to be in but I'm glad we both made it out unscathed
from that thank you guys man thanks for making this this episode was fun this
was fun just here and getting people's different points of views and and just I
don't know just being alive you know there's fun there's this is it this is
the gift and and a lot of the gift is each other and a lot of the gift is the
experiences that we have and sharing them and I'm not trying to preach that
I'm just I believe that you know I believe that and I believe that right
now after this episode you know this this just made me feel it was fun you
know shit I got a guy here who we got in a car accident you know we got some
blacksmith we got a guy making black people in Canada I mean if that isn't
that's beautiful you know if that isn't trying to help another race I don't know
what is man it's just there's a lot going on brother there's a lot going on
let's say well I'll take one more let's go
hey Theo this is Tate from Des Moines I'm just calling in I listened to that
ladies night and man it touched my soul man in a lot of ways you know you're
talking about life and what's going on in these current times and I just wanted
to call in man I've been listening for a while now and you do help people man you
really do and I'm sure you know it I'm sure you get told it every day but I
mean I struggle with some of the same problems that you do man like not not
being able to lead myself you know that addiction piece and that's the
pression piece man it's this legit I've been struggling with that for shit a
couple years now you know it's a it's a daily battle and you know it like I
know it like everyone that struggles with it knows it but I did just get a
new dog and I named him Theo it's pretty cool man you help me a lot and take
care man love you love you too bro thanks man thanks for the nice message dude
if that dog starts doing cocaine boy you know it you know then that's then we
are of the same breed for sure but nah man you know you do the same thing for
me man by making that call and it is a daily battle you know a lot of people
that struggle with addiction and that sort of thing man when when you have a
brain like us is I don't think other people realize it's my problem every
day is not drinking or doing drugs my problem is me and just something inside
of me that doesn't fit correctly and that every day have to get up and have to
sand it and have to make sure that it's gonna it's like a this puzzle piece that
re-grows overnight and it can regrow negatively overnight and I got to get
up in the morning and I got to evaluate what's going on before I can attach
myself to the rest of the world or things ain't gonna be real kosher but
thank you for that bro thank you for the nice message man a lot of good people
around these parts bro let's roll out the same way we came in man I know some
y'all like to get bent out and so a good song to do it too is uh is this
some right here man drunk outdoors you guys take care of yourselves man be
good to yourself you know I'm gonna try to do the same all right yeah
now we're cooking with gas on the burner cooking with gas on the burner
roll right in the tape in an episode of a king and a sting here this been a great
prep for that man has put me in put me in a comfortable place man and thank you
to the north Mississippi all-stars in this song drunk outdoors we'll put a link
read and get that hitter man in the YouTubes
oh
you