This Past Weekend - Beast Infection | This Past Weekend #245

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_     -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Intro “Celebrate” - Spencer Jacob http://bit.ly/Celebrate_SpencerJacob    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   New Merch https://theovonstore.com    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by    Skillshare Visit https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon to try 2 months of unlimited classes for FREE   Candid Visit https://Candid.co/THEO to receive $75 off   MeUndies Visit https://MeUndies.com/WEEKEND to receive $15 off your order plus free shipping   ZipRecruiter Try for free at https://ZipRecruiter.com/TPW    Figs Visit https://wearFIGS.com and enter code THEO at checkout for 15% off your order    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Hit the Hotline [phone]   Video Hotline Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Find Theo   Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Patreon Gunt Squad   Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Bmayer Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Andrew Cole Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Ashley M Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brandon Woolsey Brian meek Christopher Becking Cody Anderson Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dan Draper Dan Perdue David Christopher David Witkowski Dentist the menace Devin James Cornwell Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Doug C Dusty Baker Eric Tobey Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter James Schneider Jameson Flood Jayme Sta Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Joakim Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Julie Ogden Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaylyn Dudich Kennedy Kenton call Kirk Cahill Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Lawrence Abinosa Lea Rashka Leighton Fields LJ Logan Yakemchuk Madeline Matthews Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Noah Bissell NYCWendy1 OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Ryan Hawkins Sagar Jha Sean Scott Shane Pacheco Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Taryn Feingold Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Tito Liebowitz Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Vanessa Amaya Victor I tuck back and sit down to pee Johnson II Vince Gonsalves Vlog Master William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke Harrisx`See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza. Gray Block, get that hitter. This past weekend is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning community for creators, creators, with more than 25,000 classes in design, business, and more. You'll cover countless ways to fuel your curiosity and career, take classes in mobile photography,

creative writing, measuring all types of stuff, unique things on there, even illustration. You can't draw, yes you can. Whether you're looking to discover a new passion or start a side hustle, Skillshare is there to keep you learning, thriving, and reaching those new goals. Are you a freelancer?

Try bookkeeping for freelancers. How to handle your finances. One of the most popular courses. Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners. This past weekend, listeners get two months of unlimited access to over 25,000 classes for free.

That's two months of unlimited access to over 25,000 classes for free. Go to skillshare.com slash theo-von. Again, go to skillshare.com slash theo-von to start your two months now. Let's see, yo, laissez faire. That means that's that fair. If you see a carnival going on, you say laissez faire.

That means that's that fair. Put some sand on your hands. About time to grip that dolphin. You gonna have to fetch that fish, baby. And we're gonna do it here today. I hope you're doing well. Thank you for coming. And a big thank you to prospects.

And we Let's have some fun while we all die Celebrate our days celebrate all your brains all of your demons exercise let them go oh and once again can't really fade that song out as well as I'd like to be you know I'd love that song at the end to really just go at a very slow listening level so you get less sound in you like us like at a gradient they call it and that's not to be confused with this boy I used to know name gradient Harper who used to play on the on the local football team in junior

high dude I remember we had um a baseball field we played on and I was on a really rotgut team called the club the Cubs and a couple jerseys they they accidentally wrote clubs on it and it just so about six of the guys on our team were on the Cubs the Playville Cubs and we had about three or four guys on the Playville clubs and we would play on a field out there on the edge of town off of highway 190 that had a slant it had a gradient they just I don't know if you know there had been like a they might have been having gravity issues or something or I'm not sure this might have been during a sinkhole flare up I'm

not sure because that sinkholes those things do when the group when the when Mother Earth has had too much to eat and that bitch belches somebody's losing a fucking half a parking lot full of Honda Civics or something you know that you know she ain't afraid to digest anything it could be somebody hitchhiking you know somebody driving a Dodge Ram everybody is going straight into the Earth's core um but we played softball on a on this field not softball we it was regular ball baseball and man I wasn't good at baseball man I um I remember asking the coach one time if we could put tape on the ball like you know like

duct tape so that thing wouldn't come in it wouldn't hit you know it wouldn't be as hard when it hit the glove so most of baseball was me hiding kind of whenever the good batters would get up because I'm a daydreamer I don't need a bed I don't need a pillow to you know to really create that ambiance I'm that I got that Spielberg in me I got that cerebral Spielberg you know I got this shit is it's going in my head and so baseball and a date you can't daydream and do baseball you can't you cannot do it because you're out there and next thing you know you you fucking that ball comes zinging at you you'll lose an ox it

you know it'll you'll pop your occipital do it'll hit you in the eye you one of you one of your eyeballs roll right out your mouth like you're a Halloween game show that shit can get tricky but we played on a field when I was on the Cubs clubs that was at a slant and dude you would hit a grounder towards first base and by the time it got to like the outfield it was oh it was on it was along the third base line it was just every ball so the best player was out there on third base or in the left field and I didn't I wasn't good at it man because I would forget we were playing I forget I was playing I'd be out there

way out in right field picking stuff and eating it or trying stuff I mean I wouldn't eat I would not eat everything that I picked that wasn't I wasn't that boy you know you always had that one creepy boy just anything you find he just slid it into his mouth and it could be anything it's dude he put a damn snake in his mouth you know some of these guys they'll babysit a damn you finally get their jaws open and they're in there you know they're having you know a couple little oysters are in there doing conjugal visits and stuff some people will put anything under their tongue oh but that field man it was so hard because

if a ball went into the outfield and you got it you had to run do you had to run uphill it was very I mean it was like a damn decathlon just trying to get the ball in and sometimes you would throw it and it would come right back down the hill at you like gee well and then at the far left field it went sloped that way it sloped out do one guy hit it this one fellow Mikey Donna war and he was my god this guy he was um I mean he must have came out of the womb with a you know he must have came out of the womb with a damn with capability and capability is when you just when you're not you know when you just when you can do something

have you ever done anything well that's capability right there and this boy just had all the athletic capability and he would hit that ball and we went to get it it went over the deep off the edge deep field and dude it took you sometimes I remember getting a ball and coming up the hill off the deep end and by the time I got up there the game had been over for about 40 minutes everybody's just knuckle-deep eating snow cones and some of the parents are over there you know you know complaining about their spouses or whatever some of this one lady would cry every time we won like bitch you're not even have a kid on the team okay you

just out here lurking this is the list lady would creep us out dude she'd be crying somebody would hit a damn double and she would start crying I'm like Jeepers and she had a Don Mattingly tattoo on her fucking on her ribs but she was beautiful though I will say that she had a certain beauty about her you know there's something there's something very American about it when somebody hits a damn double you know and a lady starts crying just a few feet away there's something hell I don't even know it's almost like it's like that movie it's the way I feel when I'm when I watch that movie Cinderella man my

heaven I think fucking get me bro Cinderella man what's going on good to see you happy November 18 and it is the year 2019 to 019 and we are living it we are living through time I was thinking about that this weekend how time is just such a it won't you can't stop it I mean you just it's on it's just the it's kind of like the it's the LeBron James of mediums this bitch is going and sometimes I realize I'm like hey time time time you know I'm over here you know hold it up but time ain't fucking with you boy time ain't fucking with you you little assholes out here on that lopsided field get your shit together I can't believe

our town would do all of that just really and they had regular fields I think they had a couple parents out there like seeing the children struggle and seeing you'd have some kids do they play baseball so much they'd have a damn they would grow into genetically even one of their legs almost had a little bit more reach on it they'd be a little bit more right-legged or you'd see some of the coaches out there would measure that right leg on you during practices and stuff because see who would be able to get the best angles based on the field and that was it's weird when carpentry kind of comes into a baseball you know

when somebody when you got a damn subcontractor out there playing on the you know as a third base coach it just gets a little kind of obtuse oh it is it is November what's going on with you I hope you're well today I'm feeling okay I'm feeling okay man I'm feeling like I'm this past week I've been really motivated to just get to the gym and get that pump get that body pump and the other day I even taped off my legs with a tight tape and tape is something that's basically for people that's too lazy to get a rope and do something they made tape so it's really just kind of bitch rope and boy I'll tape these thighs

closed and I keep my blood up top because when I needed when I used to do that if I would do a test or something or you know in school man if I was had a hard test dude you know I'd have my both my legs tied off bro I ain't letting my blood go down in my feet and do what think about what slippers I need my blood up top I need my knowledge bubbling through my frickin little brain tank because you got to keep the water warm up there you know all these at your extremities a lot of times are wasting time you put you I want that straight when I'm under pressure I want heart to brain heart to brain I don't want that

you know your blood's out here hitchhiking and your damn you know that fourth finger the one you can barely get straight even when if you try to make it straight by itself you know the one I don't care if that bitch ever gets any blood honestly I want the blood where I need it so you'd see me in a test man my arms and legs be turning purple and some of the kids you'd be like dude you all right man you can't even hold your pencil I'm like bitch I'm doing social studies okay and I'm trying to get a B so I'm living what I'm trying I got to do something for myself here it's preservation and you guys out here doing

that full flow I'm going brain to heart boy and I'm living like that what's going on I'll do a little bit of laundry we have we still want some single mothers for sure Lafayette and that shows almost sold out down there December 26th so we'd love that if you want to call them recommend one or two we have the show in December 10th at the Wilton in Los Angeles that's almost sold out we just put on Red Bank New Jersey which is the makeup show for Sayersville it's now at a bigger locale so you can get in there and sit down and feel that feel your body in the chair and there's something nicer about that

when you when your body hits a chair there's something I mean they perfected that you know a chair they are such a perfectional piece say hey hey come here stay right here with me and you do it every time you see a chair you do it that beautiful a chair is like hey I'll be over here do what you do but you know I'll be at and you get over there and you put your ass right on it chairs are dirty man these things they're gonna get pink eye they keep playing all these games oh okay what's going on with with you who's listening out there I wonder who's listening and sometimes and I wonder who isn't I know we have a young

lady named Amanda who is a long-timer listener thank you Amanda and I'm gonna give her a call now and just see who listens to this thing and she's a correctional officer so been around some seedy man hello hey Amanda what's up it's Theo hi how are you I'm doing well how are you today I'm good thanks and you you've listened now you've listened to most of this past weekend yes yeah I've listened to all of them okay and how are you doing I'm good yeah nice I'm just making sure you're holding up okay I think so yeah okay good and you're a correctional officer right I work in corrections I do admin at a jail and

what is it like over there are people is it kind of like you see on Shawshank redemption where people are you know kind of like dirty but also hopeful or what's the vibe you think yeah we get a lot of you know people fresh off the street because we're a county jail so they haven't been sentenced or anything they come to us you know please pick them up straight off the street bring them to us so we see all kinds of people you know mentally unstable you know people who people who are currently on drugs that get brought in high wow DUIs people who are currently drunk who have to you know stay in detox and sleep it off and

do they team up did they put them on teams those are like a team room where there's more than one man in there or is it there is everybody gets their own room holding well no when you first come in to be processed pretty much everyone is in the same little holding cell God I would that's almost like American Idol or something I would hate that it's like backstage at on at American Idol yeah you know it's interesting to say the least because you know you have some that are aggressive and want to you know shadowbox with themselves other people and then you have you know people who are drunk and

they just want to sleep so you get a whole mix of different people and does it get pretty does it get kind of homoerotic at that point or that's later in the system I wonder if you're seeing any of that not in holding but you know that does happen when they get to their to their housing oh yeah you hold it for long enough you want to put it in something you know and that's but yeah you're just in holding so one more question I have are do you find that so these people so now so your job exactly so you're not escorting them back there with a weapon or anything like that you're not doing any of that correct no

I I do an admin side like a Monday through Friday so after they come in and their process and they go to their tank I coordinate programs so if they want to go to church or AA GED that sort of thing nice yeah I do the secure system which is our phone system so selling phone cards if they had any issues with their phone accounts things like that their money their money system if their family has an issue put money onto their commentary account you know I'm the person that they would talk to you to try to resolve their issues I see and or most of them do you find like a lot of the inmates are pretty friendly for you

towards you does it vary or it there or is there a general kind of vibe amongst inmates well because I tried because you know innocent until proven guilty a lot on there hadn't been the court so I try to treat people with respect as long as they respect me and that seems you know they're really receptive to that so yeah it's just being a female in corrections it's tough whether you you know are an officer admin doesn't matter yeah I can totally imagine and do a lot of the man come over there and kind of perv out by it do you have anybody you know doing you know sending you little handfuls of dirty stuff from their body or anything I

mean what are they what do you get you get any gifts why no I get notes I get lots of no and what are they looking for a date or is it are they thinking is it what are they looking for a date a couple yeah when I get out I'm gonna find you okay fine me first of all fine me ain't the best way to pick a woman up you know what I'm saying mr. criminal if you're a criminal that ain't my pickup line especially if I'm a criminal I'ma find you I'm gonna find you you know no one knows who I am or where I live but they're gonna come find me and do they get have you ever engaged with an inmate um no just in no just one-on-one you know

they have a question about something answer it but other than that I try not to learn too much their lives why they're there you know cuz it doesn't matter to me why you're there you know just be respectful to me I'll be respectful to you I see I love it and is it it's you feel like it's a tough job for a woman do you feel like is it a man's world is it a man's world in the in the prison system I think that men they they get more respect they get a lot more respect whereas a female a lot of them see you as weak or you know or maybe that they can that they can try to talk you into doing something for all I think it takes

a special person do a lot of them try to get drunk yeah they see the woman as a low-hung fruit do they do they try to get drugs in do they try to get bait you know playing cards or you know like whistle or anything like anything unique that they're trying to get in there you're asking you oh not me personally I've never encountered that but I've heard of instances yes where they try to make friends and they say hey you know we're friends bring in the pack of cigarettes or you know but me personally I don't want to get involved yeah and that and I don't have to constant direct contact with them like like an actual

corrections officer would yeah I don't see them every second of my shift I see so I think that's where I have an advantage because my contact is brief mmm yeah so it's brief and if you are is there a lot of handsome men going in a prison or what style of man is it visually no no and maybe it maybe it's be drugs maybe you know maybe at one time they were handsome but you know where I work I haven't seen anyone in particular that was too handsome a lot of four and fives a lot of four and fives doing crime huh get maybe even threes there's a lot of threes and you got to earn a three man because the Lord

gives you five man you got to earn a three well you know when you have two teeth yeah that's hard but when you got to man you got that's you you got to take care of those babies at that point that's not even a smile that's just pets those are just pets in your mouth you know you got to take care of them right well thank you so much for listening I really appreciate it in and I just wanted to say thank you yeah no problem I enjoy it and if I go to jail I hope I see you definitely yep definitely well okay well I just want a deck of cards that's what all I want with some pictures on the back some nudie pics you

know well regular cards I can get some off commentary but I don't know about the nudie one well maybe I'll just draw those on my on there myself to make them yeah yeah you'll have to make them find someone who's really good oh you know prison art is prison arts the best they can they really have figured out how to you know draw a really good nipple oh really now do you see a lot of that do they confiscate a lot of that people drawing titty and drawing all that you can draw it you know you can send it out I've seen it I've seen it a lot of it amen amen oh thank you so much Amanda and and I hope you have a great I hope you

have a great week of it here I appreciate it thank you so much all right I'll talk to you soon all right bye bye bye and that's Amanda right there and thank you very much Amanda for listening and she made a list this is how I found her number she made a list of all the people that I've ever talked about from my hometown and sent it to us as like a glossary and a glossary is you know it's a list and you know that don't you you should we all should I gotta pay the bills real quick today's episode is brought to you by candid you know it's that time of year it's that time of year when a reindeer might just fly right

past your house looking for a hot gram it's that time of year to share smiles and good times with friends and family this is time to tickle your damn uncle boy and hide your cousin in the damn a little dirty clothes hamper hide his little ass and of course it's time to exchange gifts how about you give yourself a gift like I'm doing today give the gift of self-confidence now how did you get it how do you get that self-confidence by having straighter brighter teeth will will help and that is from candid candid aligners can straighten your teeth faster and cheaper than traditional wild braces or wire

braces some people call them treatment takes just six months on average and cost 65% less and think about that think about getting that grill you'll be a gorilla baby you'll be in the zoo you'll be the to-do of the zoo when you get that grill tight tight tight I mean you could smile if you smile real harder you I bet you have a fine a damn diamond under your tongue boy I'm talking about sheer beauty and experienced orthodontist who is licensed in your state creates a custom treatment plan they show you a 3d preview you can see how your teeth will look after you're done so you get to see the progress plus

in this season of giving candid donates $25 with each aligner purchase to smile train who brings a hundred percent free cleft lip and pallet treatments to children around the globe I guess via train I guess which is pretty cool you know it's beautiful to think that they're there by the station and that train comes in and has those aligners on it give yourself a gift of candid go to candid co.com slash Theo and use code Theo to get $75 off $75 off that glisten and grill that's candid co.com slash Theo code Theo for $75 off candid letter C letter o.com slash Theo code Theo and look snitches get

britches so I got to tell you about me undies look it's the holidays and if you've never had them which I don't know how you couldn't have but if you've never had them I mean you want to talk about a stock and stuffer stuff yourself into a pair of me undies and you will just feel stocked up to the gills of joy me undies is anything but ordinary they have a gift for literally everyone yes including your weird aunt that you know she'll be she could whistle and then pull up half a handful of black olives out of her mouth that's Italian and the best party is me undies deliver straight to your door with free

shipping and that's a miracle look I've had them on I've worn I've worn me undies before before a party I've worn them after a party so you could just tell you right there was a pretty damn good party look me undies makes the perfect hibernation undies and lounge where if you don't want to go out me undies knows that it's getting cold in a lot of places this year and they're coming out with even more cuddly products you can cozy up with new robes for men and women in Game of Thrones fans or you can treat yourself in those soft new slipperies those slippery slippers sorry and they grip at the bottom so you

won't be slippery and you can match the whole family up imagine your whole damn family wearing the same thing and go into a damn chevron or something to get one of those hot chicken biscuits with brand new holiday prints and cozy products me undies has a gift for literally everyone it's a great time for our listeners for any first-time purchasers you get 15% off in free shipping this is a no-brainer because they have a hundred percent satisfaction me undies comm slash weekend to get your 15% off your first pair free shipping and a hundred percent satisfaction go to me undies comm slash weekend I love them and you will thank you guys good

to see you good to hear you what's going on being alive you know making it through the year I'm kind of amazed how time goes so fast you know I was brushing on it a little earlier I mean time time just it's like the fastest friend you have it and you're always like come here buddy and times I and sometimes I find I even get angry at time in my brain I'm like time shut it down guy you know I'm trying to tighten up over here and you keep just making me feel loose because you keep just time is that guy like when you you you're going repelling and he just keeps throwing rope out there you know like your boy Larry time he just roping you

out but that's life man that's life it is that limited time offer you know life is that limited time offer where it's just it's so it's the only show in town that's the thing for as much as we know it's the only show in town and so we we got to grab this bastard because this is it and we're doing it we're doing it man we're doing it I'm back on that hope bus all aboard this bus is short but it's hopeful son gang yeah we had some great calls it came in what did I do this weekend oh I did this breathing work thing it's called breath of fire you could look it up online and it's where you it's where you inhale like a bunch

through your nose and then you hold your breath and you got a you got to tighten up that little dirt dimple that kind of TA int I don't want to say it out loud but you know that TA int area of your body you know that little isthmus between your nuts and your little back jaw you know down there in a stink ganna stand brother area right between your nuts and your little be holy oh well you tighten that up and you hold your breath after you do all that breathing and you're supposed to get you catch a little bit of a free buzz and it's called firebreak um shit I don't know what's called but you do it in the

morning and it really helps you out and you can look it up and I met a man this man had like a this man his name is Casey no Henry no his name is Randy no breathing let me see what his name is real quick damn nice man too I wish I wouldn't forget his name right now breathe breathing Troy Casey that's his man that's his name and uh which is crazy I knew a kid growing up this boy Troy Casey Walter and he had three first names no last names and um man you're fucked really if that happens but this man only has two his name is Troy Casey and he was really cool and and when you do that and you do this fire breathing

technique you activate the DMT that's in your body and it's that free you know it's just like the Lord put that lollipop right into you and you lot you know you first it was lollium but now you pop in I'm a sucker for a sucker and I'll put a link to one of his videos and it was really it got me feeling just I just started to feel a little bit more gifted and it made me feel a little more motivated so I'm happy that I've just been running a lot this past week and I'm hopeful that I'll keep doing that yeah I just you know it's just it's time to just this whole year for me and I

know I say it all the time has just been very I don't I mean maybe I share it all the time and it's all I share but it's been really tough this year has been very tough for me which it's hard to complain because I've had such a progressive year with work and it's hard to complain but and I don't want to I don't want to complain I just want to stay focused on feeling good and and I can do it I can do it I've done a lot and I can do this so that's what I'm telling myself today we have a some calls that came in as always on the hot line 985-664-9503 also what did I do this past the past two weeks we did a

campaign for Sam Adams and that'll be you'll get to see it it's a video and I don't drink but the campaign is really amazing and you don't have to drink to do the campaign which was which I thought was pretty cool but and which is also the only way that I would do it but they it was about toasting somebody you know like toasting you know where you really say hey you know you're my buddy or you know cheers to you and it was you'll see it there's gonna be some other of your favorite podcast people in there are not favorite I mean you may listen to this and can't stand me but there's gonna be a just a tribe of of

podcast people that are doing these toast someone campaigns and that happy hitter oh and Toronto is is gonna finally go on sale this week so and the Braille we're gonna make those dates up I don't know when but it's gonna happen probably March so onward here we go morning and that's a great name and that's an I mean that's obviously a name you got to use before noon and and that's got to be great because it's got to be just peaceful after that nobody bothering you onward brother I was just hitting you up because I heard you talking about that ice cream machine in McDonald's man I used to work up there

they canned me and I'll say the truth about that thing man it's always working it's just nobody wants to clean it so they just tell you it's broken all the time if you want some ice cream you want to get that Sunday you just tell them straight up look I'm gonna talk to your district manager I know that thing works and I guarantee you may they'll fire that boy up for you but then you got to be careful because they probably gonna spit in it so remember that the next time you hit now late night McDonald's don't let them pull that bullshit on you mm-hmm they always do it and how much spit that's the question it really pops

into your brain like a like a damn vulture with a handful of you know warm marbles I mean that's the thing that's you know how much you know if they drop one little you know about a 19th of an ounce or something over to the edge I can handle it boy but if they do all you know if they clear the throat I'm out we get that's the thing McDonald's I mean here's the thing this is a great time for McDonald's to finally fire up the ice cream machines all these bitches can't be off all of them can't be off McDonald's are getting lazy they're fighting at Popeyes Chick-fil-A man they got peace but every now and then

somebody gets choked out over there angry about the Lord Roche I'm telling you it's all turning into the WWE and it's beautiful it's beautiful you can have everybody next you know it's gonna be you know crusty the crab is gonna be running for office you're gonna have a someone's gonna give birth to a damn watermelon it's all merging this is it this is the time this is the time for somebody to just pull a damn reach in yet reach into your do you can this is a time and you can do all kind of stuff anything do what somebody do a backflip off a damn Wendy's kids are learning baseball on slanted fields okay it's a

new era where anything is possible and we got it and I'm happy to be here with you doing it all right let's take another call good luck out there man you I'm gonna tell him I'm gonna threaten that district manager I'm gonna hit him with that slide into your DM okay because I know that they got that Sunday superintendent and he's he knows the ice cream switch and I roll up every time it's that damn witch an hour oh it's broke oh we can't get it to turn it on Jack okay I'm sorry sir we out of the arm turn it on I want the Sunday and I want the little sack of nutty nuts with it okay then little frickin little bitty

damn look like you could barely get them stuck in your teeth and little nut nuggets I want the I want two packs of them bitches and I want it all or nothing at all turn on the Sunday maker y'all in there laugh and thinking you just all you're gonna make all night is little cheeseburgers and this and that's I want six happy meals boy I want to fucking I know what y'all doing in there y'all back there hiding fucking eating them nighttime at griddles being risky well look here grimace the menace turn it on turn on the Sunday maker people driving across town to get a damn sweet cold frozen icy nighttime cupped snack

and you got the audacity to just I don't we are there oh oh we it's uh I'm sorry to tell you but no I'm sorry to tell you but I'll draw a Popeyes chicken sandwich on the wall of this Fragon McDaniels and raise straight H E L L gang bruh turn it on I'm sorry man it should makes me mad boy it makes me mad so that's that first call right there and that's the truth if you want the facts you threaten that district manager I'm about to slide into your DM all right gang let's go right here we got another call as always nine eight five six six four nine five zero three yo this Gary from Pennsylvania what's up Gary oh hey Gary hey Gary hey

hey Gary hey Gary you know I thought when I was young I thought my name was Gary for a little while because somebody lied to me but I told myself I forgot that it was me that had told myself that isn't that crazy let's hear more you know I just I'm listening to your one of the internet is podcast and some dude called about El Chapo being down in the Sinaloa you know there was a Sinaloa cartoon oh yeah that's down there with that animal sanctuary I was trying to get in with and I haven't heard from that guy I mean that's the only thing I'm not gonna invest if I can't even get a text back from the guy I hope he's all

right onward and I have to agree with him man I don't think this is a good investment just the last few weeks El Chapo son was kidnapped and his whole cartel so try to see the whole city on fire you know obviously you know I'm not an investment or anything but I would recommend against it you know the civilian well look man I feel you thank you I want to say that thank you very much the only thing I'm thinking look if they're burning if they're burning property you know what's running out of the fire any malice okay penguins giraffes burrows parrots

falcons perros gatos pescados armadillos so I'm talking about getting free I'm talking about getting you know stocking up my warehouse for free if they're down and burning it down so you got to think reverse psychology so now when it come to an investment but but I appreciate it man let's hear a little bit more I don't mean to shut you off there brother but I just want to see you this over and that shit is on fire number but yeah but fire I mean here's the thing dude after fire comes a lot of beauty think about the big bang theory think about that think about that song fire on the mountain you get a mountain

think about let's hear more from you I'm out I'm out of ideas on it I think you do better and it doesn't look really good like people and I'm not even trying to they're not even trying to go outside recently so just be careful when you do that gang brah much as gracias in your and I do appreciate that it's very sweet of you to call especially you know probably having a little bit more of an intel to the to the deal yeah it's $4,500 to get in on a zoo down there and here's the tempting thing I've always wanted on a zoo I don't think there's a man out there that doesn't want to have a that have a little bit of Tarzan in their

nuts you know you lift up my arm you just hear oh you know I got everybody's got that thing that that beast in them I got that beast infection and I you know just thinking about just being at night and just having a unicorn outside or not a unicorn that's but having a you know a you know an exotic horse with nice hair think about that imagine a horse that's just fucking been corn road its whole body nobody's doing that that's what we do with the mexican zoo el azulajico de Mexico so I'm saying $4,500 to get in on a you know on a single low in zoo that's it sounds it doesn't sound like much I'm saying you're

talking about some real serious animals you're talking about a South American Eagle think about that bitch boy you know what I'm saying dude he's gonna be bald he's gonna have tattoos oh he's gonna have one of his claws real sharp just saying man you can have some really exotic animals at that zoo you gonna have a giraffe dude maybe in a um but he got all kind of necktats think about that ms 13 ms 14 ms 15 ms 16 and all the way on through you know till he graduated high school so there's just the possibilities are endless on the type of animals you could have in a mexican zoo so you have to think about it all I

appreciate you though brother and thank you man thanks for calling in it's nice of you all right let's take a call a question actually patreon um Matt Nichols where is raising canes on the Popeyes Chick-fil-A continuum you ever flirted with a zax piece and I have I've had a little bit of zax piece over there that's out of I think I don't know if it's out of Nashville but it's their version of a Popeyes or its chicken fingers and I when I was young you had to go get the shit was on the bone these you know these these youngsters they got it so easy with the chicken fingers well you know safe chicken that's

really what that is when I was young you had to take a risk on you don't know what that was you could be having a femur you could be having a damn scapula you didn't know what was under the breading but you got chicken and you got bone guaranteed and you had to get through that shit you still had to get a little freaking uh you had to get fucking immortal with that shit and it man now you know you just know you don't even have you could fall asleep with two chicken fingers in your mouth you wake up fine week back in the day you had to take a chance every time you got the chicken you had to take a damn a

chicken chance and they got these easy-ass buckets make it through a fucking five piece you got it you drinking a 40 right there maybe you got a freaking couple you know you doing half a gram with your cousin and y'all fucking trying to get through a five piece with bones now we talk teamwork son now we're talking real men what were we talking about here let's take this call here we go big Chuck oh wait sorry I forgot this question I'll say this about raising canes and I believe it's I want to say it's a Louisiana company raising canes I like their chicken fingers if you go I

like the toast they got the toast boy dude when I die bury me inside some of that toast they got that toast some of them the toast tastes better than a damn chicken I'm like what's in the what's in the toast better chicken it's good so here's the thing if you get a mass order this is when they fail they all fail I find when you get a mass order you get 200 of those fingers and then bitches show up drooping then bitches looking like they got arthritis in there my buddy found a fucking middle a real middle finger and a whole thing of fingers and damn it and that's fucking just good luck that's almost Irish that's almost

Scottish but yeah you got a really you got a really wanted to order that 200 piece and they get they just don't do them as well and that's everything it gets to be a lot it's the the the consistency isn't as valuable to the creator you know the first piece you get that's that work art and after that it's that work of effort and that's where where things fall apart sometimes is when you get away from the work of art and you went and things become a work of effort and that's what I find but I go honestly if I had to really rank them out and Popeyes the biscuits are so good I wouldn't get I mean just regular

biscuits I don't care if they got chicken in them or not I like a sausage biscuit from McDaniels over there and they got them it due to the morning I take the sausage off put it on the side I jelly each side of the biscuit then I have that sausage on the side like a little steak like a little baby morning steak and I'll cut into that first biscuit and have that bitch you know because that's almost like a little freaking pie when you look at it and especially if you you know kind of crimp the edges of it with your fingers like a pie is and then I'll have a little bit of that steak that freaking morning steak and then I

finish off with that fucking baby dessert the second half of that biscuit but that's you know for me that happens in the airport a lot I'll get that hitter but yeah I'll do a zaxby's I haven't had enough zaxby's but I'm willing to do more and but Popeyes man that's the one if you're gonna get murdered bro go to Popeyes that's the one you want to die at I ain't fucking dying outside of a burger King bro you can miss me with that shit oh man here we go we got another call that came in on word oh wait here we go yo Phil it's Chuck from Mississippi taxidermy buddy listen I was just thinking about your little zoo

project what's up Chuck do yeah Chuck man what's going on oh you're calling about the zoo to Chuck sent me a whole bunch of beautiful thing of meat elk and everything elk um shit I don't know what all is in there dude I've had a couple pieces of it it is tangy let's hear more thanks Chuck I think it's a winner dude get that zoo I'll come out I'll do the taxidermy hitter on those animals you won't even have to feed them no more man people just calm have a nice all posed up listen I think it's a winner I'm gonna go ahead and order some materials you get after you got my number oh no dude we don't have the funds

for materials yet man we still dealing with the preliminary or deals we're still dealing with the first you know potential or deals brother and you got to make it through potential or deals baby before you get into the secondary level which is what you're trying to be at but I don't that's not a bad idea maybe tech taxidermy zoo in Mexico like almost like a Ripley's believe it or not but for animals and do some of the animals could even have a gunshot or something in them you know you see a fucking large mouth bass out there with two fucking slugs under his fan you're like damn there's more than one way to

cook a fish gang brother thanks for calling Chuck man I miss you dog I'll text you thanks for the um that beautiful amount of meat you sent me sheer God if it was you I think it was you that sent it man thank you very much so me and Chuck what did we do one day we went and did something was in Louisiana and I feel bad man my brain just it's not holding as much water as it did might take next week off might take next week off so if there's not an episode just know that it's nothing personal just trying to relax man trying to relax let's take another call here we go actually I gotta tell you about this

right here and you got to know it and that is that hiring hiring can be a slow process cafe Altura's COO Dylan Miskowitz Miskowitz needed to hire a director of coffee for his organic coffee company but he was having trouble finding qualified applicants so he switched to zip recruiter zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you it finds them for you it's technology identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job so you get qualified candidates immediately you need these candidates you can't give a job to somebody that's not a candidate you

walk up to somebody on the street and say hey we need you right now in the courtroom and they're like bitch I'm a fucking electrician you can't do it like that Dylan posted his job on zip recruiter and said he was impressed by how quickly he had great candidates apply he also used zip recruiters candidate rating feature to filter his applicants so get rid of those you know I'm saying you looking somebody for somebody to do lawn care and that you know this dude said he does for you know breastfeeding the long way you could filter him out immediately and that's how Dylan found his new director of coffee

in just a few days with results like that it's no wonder four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day see why zip recruiters effective for businesses of all sizes try zip recruiter for free at our web address zip recruiter comm slash TPW try it out you need an employee you need a good one try out zip recruiter comm slash TPW the smartest way to hire oh man that's beautiful and this I got to let you know that my sister doesn't even know this what she's getting for Christmas and I need some of this maybe set a time my legs off you get these figs nurses

doctors Dennis and people who work in medicine and health care are pretty awesome we all agree on that and all of us can think of a time when a medical professional helped us or a family member they're helping they're helping us for years nurses doctors Dennis and other awesome medical professionals were forced to wear scratchy ill-fitting scrubs if you look at old pictures you'll see them in burlap out there and sometime even just rope wrapped around their body while they're trying to put a put an IV or you know tile for colostomy not only were they ugly and uncomfortable but they weren't designed with

innovative technical properties to protect you and hold life-saving tools figs care is also every time you shop at figs they give scrubs to a health care provider in need around the world through their threads for threads initiative figs gift cards are available so next time you're a friend who's a doctor nurse dentist dermatologist pediatrician or some just somebody who likes some damn role play at least look like you have a job during sex tell them thank you by sending them figs so if you're an awesome human that works in health care someone that wants to say thanks to these deserving folks figs is

gonna make that easy by providing you with 15% off your first purchase by using my code THEO get ready to love your scrubs head to wear figs.com W E A R F I GS.com and enter my code Theo at checkout my sister will be getting those Rolanda that's my sister's name and she's gonna get those for Christmas or she's getting a couple of free passes to that Sena Loan Zoo dog you know what I'm saying somebody needs to teach a antelope how to use an AK boy shits popping off down there let's get into let's take one more call and then maybe we'll get Nick in and go over some news here we go. Hey Theo my name is L I live in the

Los Angeles area. Hey L thank you for calling and that's what these days people have a simple name L R you know M onward so I've been doing improv the last two years and there was this guy that I noticed in another class night I need we loved him and I was attractive and eventually I started my own sketch group and I did invite this person you know he's funny but I also you know love him yeah you got sex on the head you got it you got sex head but a little lady more. I found out later that he does have a girlfriend and it's every week and each week it gets a little bit harder to be around them because you know I

really I really like him and so if you have any advice please let me know. Love you. Thank you. Well it's beautiful that you that you care about somebody that's good it's nice that you do that some people don't ever care about anybody they walk somebody be on fire they walk right past them having a soda and just keep drinking a soda bitch put them out that's a damn dude a half a dr. pepper will save somebody probably from the waist down but so what I'm saying is that yeah I mean that kind of suck you invited a man and now you got him there you know what I'm saying if you bring the cat to the cradle you can't you're gonna have to

hear me out whether you guys are fucking or not or doing sex or not hmm I think you just got to be because at this point if he was interested in being not you know getting you know if he was interested in really playing two hand touch without any hands and just with penis and everything but then he would he would be on it you know and I've been a dirt ball so I don't really you know I know if he were really interested he would probably have been on it and if you got him in there every week you throwing it at him you know the improv and you telling him oh why don't you come over here and you know you know

pretend my you know pretend my butts on fire and you're a jouster and he's like well how does that make any sense it's like oh you just come on you'll see run in run in with your jouster yeah I don't know I really can't help that situation that's you know it's just your it just kind of sucks kind of sucks there because fuck dude so many times you invite people to do something you want to have sex with them they don't and you just can't have sex with them it's illegal to continue to try to do it I mean you can try but you know you can't there's no way to make it happen you know without magic or doing something

real I mean here's the thing man my stepdad in it's not my real stepdad but there's a this family I got a you know emancipated when I was young and I went and live with a family in high school and and the man is kind of like my stepdad and I call him that anyway because it just is more comfortable but he told me when he was in I don't know when he was in something alive when he was alive and a younger that he went to he had a girlfriend and she got they broke up and then she got engaged like a couple months like maybe six eight months a year later and one night he was drinking and he just thought he was still in love

with her he went over to her house and proposed he said hey look I still love you and this I'm the right guy for you and she said she said no and he said he was happy because the next day he realized that he was just drunk but so anyway what I'm saying is okay to take your chances it's okay to put the feelers out there but if you if they're really in love and they got a happy deal going on you know you don't want to you know you don't want to you know piss loudly into a baby's crib so but good luck out there and and thanks for helping I wish I could help I can't help I cannot help let's get Nick in here real

quick man I got to hit a meeting but thank you guys so much for being here we're gonna do some news with Nick and then we will and then we'll get to the end and uh and that's it that's it oh right we got the news here Nick what's up man what's going on man are you doing I'm doing all right bro thank you for asking you um you had a good weekend I heard you say earlier when I came in what was up yeah it was fun Friday just met up with some friends and played tennis for a couple hours and then we went out to the bars after and Saturday just watched UFC and then I went to the

concert or went to a concert with the girl that I went to the Logan Paul fight with oh yeah yeah second round huh yep yep I saw Lee Fields sold soul singer he's like kind of James Brown desk at Museum of Museum of Contemporary Art and yeah solid weekend all around dang dude get gambled gambling went really well yeah that's what you said you hit a four four hit four hit thing parlay yeah four hit parlay it was yeah 50 to win 500 not bad ten times to return I'll take it damn he'll take it he'll take it man what do we got for the news do that second date though how was that it was good it was it was chill it's

very easy she's fun wow yeah yeah let me try and guess her name can I guess our first name I doubt it but okay that's kind of a hint that is true huh I'm gonna say fuck man I can't think of a good one I'm not gonna worry about let's just get into the news man sounds good sounds good first news topic Thursday night from the fallout Miles Garrett the Cleveland Browns linebacker is suspended for the rest of the season and indefinitely after that after ripping off Mason Rudolph's helmet and then hitting him with it and at during a skirmish at the end of the

game did you see this yep I saw it man I it was you know I just thought it was guys being guys out there I really thought it was like oh it definitely was out of hand like you can't it's not fair that he gets a weapon and he doesn't get a weapon it's true I think they should you know have them do a you know get have the guy have a chance to have a shield or you know some other let's play a fifth quarter these I think what they want is a fifth quarter that would have been nice that would have been nice for four guys from each team out there with a helmet in a shield dude and see who wins it I was also amazed that not that many people

came to everybody's rescue it seemed like yeah except Mark he's pouncy he the center for the Pittsburgh he was the one he like went straight hood he was punching and kicking Miles Garrett in the head once they had him subdued to the ground is was pretty wild he got suspended three games and did Rudolph get suspended or no no he didn't and Rudolph was kind of tickling him by the neck and stuff did you see that yeah OJ Simpson also saw it and he really thought it Mason started you want to hear oh days yeah the minute Mason went after the man's helmet with his foot in his groin it's on I'm hearing all these

announcers saying the Garrett should be suspended maybe he should but when a guy is trying to get your helmet off your head and that's where it started white with his foot in your groin it's on I'm just saying take care well yeah I mean look OJ also will kill somebody I know so for him it doesn't take much for it to be on you know what I'm saying dude if you were married to me it's on you know uh wow I you know what I there's something to that I thought it would have been fair if he got three games that's what I thought it would have been fair it seemed like the heat of the heat of of you know the heat of battle mm-hmm what

you think I thought he was like a complete maniac and I seem like my guess when it right when it happened was it was gonna be the rest of the season suspension I mean Vontes perfect perfect he already got suspended for the season for the Raiders earlier just for like helmet to helmet hits and like I don't know he swung that with kind of ill intent usually I'm like let him play let him fight everybody soft but he really seemed like he just completely lost control and he needs to be punished I'm surprised though like a couple of weeks ago he tweeted about he was in his car and a fan walked up to him and like

acted like they wanted an autograph but then just hauled off and punched him in the face and he didn't do it he didn't react at all in that moment so I just feel like that fan really caught him on a good day cuz otherwise he would have been murdered essentially yeah I mean it's just like maybe yeah maybe Rudolph I don't know I mean the the tough thing too is for Rudolph it's like I don't know if that fueled him or didn't fuel them you know I guess we'll see when he plays his next game it fit like fired him up or if it's gonna like make him more scared I wonder if that would have any effect and they play each other in two

weeks oh that'll be in that'll be super interesting yeah yeah man it was nice it was almost like the old days it was almost like Bill Lambert was back yeah yeah I love I love the old late 80s early 90s basketball fights they were there were some classics oh yeah I loved that too man yeah I want that fifth quarter brah yeah let it you know I'm saying let's let it all be out there leave it where it is like you said everything's turning in WWE get a Royal Rumble fifth quarter what else we got so Colin Kaepernick he finally got his wish and was able to work out in front of NFL scouts his workout on

Saturday ended up taking place at a high school in Atlanta the NFL initially scheduled it for the Atlanta Falcons practice facility but there was some back and forth with some statements made from the NFL and Colin Kaepernick side and Kaepernick side said they NFL was gonna deny all media access at the Falcons practice facility so they wanted it to be completely transparent so everybody could see theoretically how good he did and yeah there's a lot of posturing on both sides yeah it felt like that felt like a lot of posturing on both sides you know it feels like you know he's probably I don't know if he

really feels scorned sometimes with him it's hard to know if he really feels scorned or if he you know he's kind of going out of the limelight now and if you know they're trying to find a way to get him back in it and it might not even be him at this point it could be that his PR people it's interesting whenever you get caught up in you become something that's very public you have a lot of people chirping in your ear about how you should behave which you should do you know I really I wonder I wish I knew him because you would have a much better idea of what's really kind of going on like did he move it so that he

could have every reporter be there so he could get more press or because he's probably thinking oh if it's closed then nobody'll know how good I did they can say whatever I don't know what do you think yeah I'm just not a huge fan of him say what you will about the cause but I feel like if you sat him down and really asked like what are you trying to accomplish with this like you just get this long drawn-out answer and he he can't really answer it like what he's doing this for I think it's kind of like you like people have gotten in his ear and he's kind of an empty bed vessel being just steered in whichever way is

gonna make the quickest buck yeah and I also heard this is complete hearsay but from someone who says they know of the situation that like he didn't really give a fuck about social justice issue issues at all and then he started dating some girl who was really active in that type of thing and that's when he got all about it I heard that as well I think I told you that even oh was it you that told me I think I told you a source close with the knowledge course this situation well that's what I heard or we just both heard the same thing yeah it makes you wonder because they got paid out from the NFL it just makes you

wonder I don't know I think the NFL gives a lot of opportunity to African Americans so I didn't you know it's mostly African Americans so I didn't see what they I've never ever seen what the issue is and you can't tell me if Lamar Jackson was it was taking a knee teams would get rid of him he'd he'd have he'd still be a starting quarterback in this league like dude they should make him take a knee so good you know for one quarter I'm saying bro we need to add more quarters dude that's the problem this game's too short we're up to six yeah what else we got let's see a Seattle police captain was arrested

in an undercover prostitution sting from his own department the 52 53 year old Seattle veteran police captain Randall Woolery offered $40 to an undercover officer who is posing as a prostitute and he was arrested on the spot Randall dude if you're Randall bro you're going down that's the truth name seven fucking Randalls that haven't done something troublesome yeah nobody can bro yeah that's crazy his own sting mm-hmm his own department staying there trying to strut down some sex trafficking well I think he should have been suspicious when it was only $40 I don't know what he's trying to get but yeah you have

more I think experience with prostitutes and myself what's $40 gonna get you nowadays $40 isn't man you're not gonna get much at all for $40 you might as well give that to your buddy dude and just tell him something you did it you know $40 you should have saved the money you parlay that you get 500 and then I can get myself there you go we might have to talk about gambling more let's get one more all right the Gloveless Combat Sports Organization bare knuckle fighting championship has signed social media sensation Iranian Hulk his name is Sejaad Garibi he's a 370 pound bodybuilder and he's 27 years old yeah

and he's been expressing an interest in combat sports for a while and the announcement finally came during bare knuckles ninth event this past Saturday hmm and he really he has what I've often referred to as desert fat you know you get the Kardashians have it Kim Kardashian has that it's almost like very organized kind of fat it looks like like to me this gentleman doesn't look like as much muscle as it is more of a gristle more of a you know more of a hard fat and you can there's you know I remember I dated a girl for a while that had that hard fat in her and it's more of a it feels a little more

outdoorsy then more you get that soft you know soft fat it just feels a little bit more like a you know I've said this before but like a shit dipper if you feel somebody shit dipper out from the outside of it like a baby's after it's full and if you kind of squeeze it a little it feels like that but but yeah this looks like that hard fat to me who would this guy fight you to furniture you know yeah they're looking for other super heavyweights whatever it's not gonna be very high-level boxing once he does get in there his muscles to me look like that stuff like you'd see guys they inject it with something that it

it I guess I guess it's hard hard fat is what you're calling it but yeah it looks they inject it and it's not real muscle and it's like dangerous for you but they get this look that I guess is desirable to some that grow talks man it's something yeah there's something there's a new the ad that's gonna be the next thing is just organized fat you know people are gonna get tired of doing all this muscle and at some point it's gonna become more of a you know there's gonna be more of a sculpted fat in people like oh look how cool my fat is you know whereas not just like look a lot watch my fat be wherever it wants to be look

how I control my fat look what I did you know I have a Mount Rush more on my back you know like you're gonna be able to really do whatever you want with a lot of Botoxing and and stuff like that future is exciting yeah I mean it's gonna be wild and especially if this guy I mean who knows this guy could be president or this guy and now some of these camera angles look kind of snaky here though yeah it definitely looks like there's some Photoshop often with a lot of stuff he puts out he looks like a blue dough from the aforementioned Popeyes yeah yeah he really does that's a good call wow man

I couldn't imagine being that big now I also wouldn't be shocked if you walked in and this dude was fucking a recliner you know he seemed like kind of do that he would see a furniture and get turned out so but that's beautiful man that desert fat and it really there's something romantic about it that's what's going on thanks Nick good luck on the third date if you're going one thanks thanks appreciate it all right uh I gotta go to a meeting guys and I love you and that's gonna be all today it's gonna be all what's going on it's November might not have an episode next week I'm not sure yet and you can do it

and that's it that's it yeah and everything's gonna be fine and and that's it there's not a ton to think about really but there's a lot to do so and you can do it so there we go gang let's leave out on let's leave out the same we came in with Spencer Jacob growl and this is a celebrate you guys be good to yourselves because you deserve it and thank you celebrate let's have some fun while we all die