This Past Weekend - E290 Andrew Santino 3

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

Andrew Santino returns for his 3rd appearance on This Past Weekend.https://twitter.com/cheetosantino -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------New Merchhttps://theovonstore.com -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This episode is brought to you by…Hawthornehttps://Hawthorne.com and use promo code THEOBetterhelphttps://betterhelp.com/theo Modiphyhttps://modiphy.com/theo -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Music“Shine” - Bishop Gunnhttp://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503Video Hotline for TheoUpload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Find TheoWebsite: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovonFacebook: https://facebook.com/theovonFacebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovonYouTube: https://youtube.com/theovonClips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Producer Nickhttps://instagram.com/realnickdavis See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza if you've wanted that that feeling in your mouth That's warm and cheesy and meaty and crusty well You don't have to do something unnatural anymore. You can go to a wonderful place called gray block pizza in Los Angeles 1811 pico boulevard on the way to the beach gray block get that hitter, baby today's guest is a man and And he's really one of a kind and and Very unique

He is an actor He's a podcaster He is a part of the bad friends podcast and host of whiskey ginger He's a comedian and and he's my friend mr. Andrew Santino Oh He's got really nice smooth skin. It's like wax. Yeah, he's almost not real at some point I don't know we might find out that he's not yeah, but he's a sweet sweet boy Oh, at some point the Jumanji game is gonna end somewhere and he's gonna disappear. He's just gonna

Disappear who is worse friends? Oh So you you're y'all's new show is called bad friends bad friends. Yeah, and who is worse friends you and Bobby or me and um What's it called Pirates booty himself burning show Oh Bannon burning? Yeah, I think I think you guys are worse on your art Barney art. Yeah Oh barn door schlubin is probably you guys are worse friends. No, no, no ones me and Bobby our friends I'll ask you this how about this Bobby and I yeah our friends because we get mad at each other all the time Okay, like are you and Brennan friends because you you you bicker a lot. Do you bicker a lot and it makes you closer or no? Well, that's a good question. I mean, yeah, the reason the show even started was because we were ripping on each other

Yeah, right. Okay, so with us it started because we undeniably have opposing lifestyles So we would make we would tease each other and get mad at each other for I oh I hated that he played video games till four in the Morning. Oh, yeah, he thinks he thinks sports are for losers. Yeah, we're polar opposites I like that stuff. He likes that stuff and we make fun of each other for but it just it works Like the way that you and barn door shit on each other. Yeah It's beautiful because I know half of it's real and half of it's all love. Yeah, but it's you know There's a bad there's a balance to all of it. Yeah, it's that it's that heartfelt dung really a lot of you know It's like hey, here's a turd, but man, you know, I put a Valentine at the end looks nice

I wrapped it up. Yeah, I wrapped this piece of shit for you, but I meant but you mean a lot to me Yeah, that's kind of how it is. Yeah, you look good. You feel good. I feel okay, man I'm going to Nashville to look around over there. I know we talked, huh? You excited I Looked at houses online when I texted you mm-hmm when you said you were looking at Nashville I looked on houses online just to see what they're like over there. Mm-hmm. It's so funny to think that like Could you get something nice there? You can You can but not not like I thought it would be right because natural is popular dude. Yeah, that's not that's this isn't like a You know when somebody's like I'm moving a Cincinnati. You're like all right

You're gonna buy the whole town and you could buy you could buy Cincinnati. Yeah, but you go to Nashville It's still like it is out here. It's a little expensive in the sense of like, you know, you're gonna get your money's worth But it's pricey. Yeah, well cuz it's desirable Tennessee is great. There's no state income tax. Yeah, right? It's also Nashville as a hub for music and culture and art anytime you get that and You're gonna have people go in there from places like Illinois where I'm from. There's too expensive to live The taxes are as much as they are on it. My parents pay almost what I pay no way Yeah, and taxes for their house and your parents are still married. Yeah Damn, yeah, but I mean legally legally right because when they my dad's retired, you know, do they sleep in the same bedroom still?

No, yes and no my dad stays up late at night. Yeah, so he doesn't go you know, I mean That's the move when you're when you're when it gets to that age when it's the final 20 Yeah, and it's that final 20 years when that last quarter. Yeah when that last lap starts The big move is to stay in front of the TV as long as you can Once the spouse goes to bed because then they go to bed, then you go. Oh, I fell I fell asleep I didn't know I just I didn't know you went up last night. I fell asleep. Yeah He loves the couch sometimes he's he sleeps in the guest room sometimes because he says he didn't if he goes Oh, I had a cough right and feel good

Separation I don't like sleeping in the same bed. Do you like sleeping in the same bed as a lady? Oh, no I don't like sleeping in the same apartment as I know I want to share room That's why I want to get a big enough house where my wife can be on one side I can be on the other I have a couple friends like that. Yeah, they're just big enough homes where they split Yeah, I want to have a schedule in the kitchen, you know, we'll meet here at noon Yeah, you know, but I can be in my wing. You're in your wing. We'll link up for breakfast or lunch Yeah, then we continue on great is that it's beautiful man. I don't like sleeping in the same bed. I'm dead serious I don't I don't I want I want my whole space. I get too hot. I get anxious. I flip brown

Do you wake up at night or no? Yeah, I'm up all night long. Yeah You see like somebody that was all night. I wake up. I go to the bathroom. I go to bed. I wake up I go do I go write something down watch TV. I Can't sleep through the night right something down. Yeah, what is this? Are you in on a ship and the murder mysteries at week to week? And I if I think of the blood was on the shoe and then I'll write it down No, if I get a thought that I can't I need like you gotta write it down You put it in your phone. Don't you put stuff in your phone like that? Yeah, let me I'll read a couple

Yeah, read something that you throw down in your phone recently Let me see what a cut what a comics condition by the man's about gays and a lot of mines of racial stuff, too Oh same. Oh blind puzzle making I thought would be good if they had a game show where it was blind people making puzzles You know, oh, I love that This is why do adults like to get spanked? Why do adults like to get spanked during sex? It's gross. It's indicative of childhood trauma. Hmm. It's very strange to knock it out like knock that Trump Yeah, I've been spanked the trauma right out of me. Yeah, that's where the term daddy bothers me when I have a son

I'll hit him in the face if he calls me daddy. Yeah, I'm papa or pop or dad. Yeah, daddy is gross daddy yuck Oh, yeah, daddy's too much. It's gross father father. Father's nice. Yes, father. Yes, boy. Yes. Go fetch your pale Go fetch your pale boy Dude, I get a text man I get a DM from this company that I've never answered but for the past Seven months they fit me up and they say who's your jeweler? Who do you use as a jeweler? They're a jewelry company. I don't ever wear jewelry. I and I don't even wear a wedding I don't like jewelry. I don't like stuff and they hit me up every other week

They race their DM and they send it again. Who's your jeweler? I think I might need to go get some jewelry You think I'm trying to change. Oh, I could see you in a chain I could see you in a wrist in a wrist chain tennis bracelet Oh, but I want it on my ankle like a girl. I want like a girl in spring break dude. I won't want above each knee Yeah, I want a thigh Yeah, right above your knee wrapped around that's that's dope. Would that be fun if you had $20,000 on each leg? Oh, I love that my knees are bling down Dude, that's so wild man to think that like I wonder like yeah

What jewelry is gonna be like in the future like if we like if people are gonna start to get more stuff like installed into their Bodies, yeah, bro. Have you seen in their teeth? Will it all be virtual? I mean, I've seen those Johnny Dang Have you seen that guy? No, no, I mean in their teeth people put diamonds in their teeth. Yes I'm in Rex's one. That's wild. They'd like they physically put it into your tooth. Yeah They used to put it on your tooth now They can drill a hole and put a diamond in your tooth in there. There's Johnny Dang right there Yeah, Bob. Oh Johnny Dang every rapper sings about Johnny Dang. Yep, and he's that Vietnamese gateway to the Gateway to the ice game. Yeah, he's like what you need more ice on you. You don't have no mouth

You don't have enough. Look at how much ice he's holding. He's iced out. Yeah, these are all diamond everything for you He's so tiny too. Oh, yeah, look at him And you know they they grow him for the show when they do when they do recordings. Oh, he's a little boba drink Yeah, they stretch him out. You could sip right out of his little ass. Look at him with that girl on that vice article up there He could he could fit inside of her tits. Oh Oh, he's a nice little sliver of a man. Oh beautiful. Look at the look in his eyes to the excitement. He's so happy about life Yeah, he feels good about life. Yeah Um, these guys have beautiful stories. I'm always impressed by this kind of stuff. Oh, yeah

They make it from zero, you know, like builds his own empire We're talking zero like dude I remember when I was on when I went on semester at sea so it was like a school, you know, yeah Yeah campus on a cruise ship kind of yeah Yeah So I remember we were coming into port in the morning We would get into like the different port cities because you kind of go to different cities around the globe, right? So we get into port cities

I remember being up in the morning was the biggest thing if you could be up at like 5 a.m As you come into the port of a new country you never been to right pretty crazy Yeah, that's wild and I remember getting into Vietnam and like passing fishing boats like in a I mean We're in like a cruise ship, right, you know and passing fishing boats like little guy hat, you know like A mouthful of melon like you would fill his mouth with melon in the morning Then you just only swallow a little bit throughout the day like that was as much Yeah, kind of like one of those little drip bottles for a hamster, but built into them Yeah, and then and he would just be out there just fishing man and a cruise ship

It was almost like just two time zones passing each other like oh, yeah Just it would just be so bizarre like the wake of this cruise ship just going in rocking his boat Yeah, lifting these little bitty skiffs that they were out there and that's his entire living. Yeah It's sitting out there doing fishing in the morning and you guys meanwhile are showing up just already been yeah up all night It's party and wine doing bootleg cocaine that we bought in some country that we made how bad is bootleg cocaine? Oh, some guy was making cocaine. I remember Was it good here's what I would say it didn't damage you yeah, it wasn't gonna hurt Yeah, so you could do as much as you wanted you weren't gonna get high

But you weren't gonna you weren't gonna get hurt your heart wasn't gonna stop. Yeah. Yeah, that's the opposite with like bad weed Bad weed makes you feel sick, right? And you're you're gonna get a headache and your stomach kind of turns and you feel gross It's bad like bad weed is bad bad coke is just not real. Yeah, it's just yeah That's what it was not real coke, but somebody made it man. This guy had this whole little deal going on And he was making it man, so that was cool just to get some it was even if it didn't work Just right just knowing you got it. Isn't that half of the hunt half of the fun was getting getting drugs And then when you get drugs you do them and you're like this is great

But getting the drugs was really fun. Yeah, cuz the people you would get in trouble with dude I I've told this story before but I used to do drugs with this guy whose parents were both deaf Oh, wow. Yeah, and his dad would come in the room. Sometimes we'd be high as shit. David was his name or not Danny What was his real? What was his name? His name was This is so I don't remember. I'm being serious. We had a deaf fellow named David. Oh, you know, it wasn't his parents I don't even know this kid. I don't remember his name. I just remember he had deaf parents, and I really well death runs in the Is that him? Is that deaf David? Oh, I don't know this guy doesn't have an earpiece in let's hear what he had to say Deaf runs in the in the David family. Go cheeto fucking. I've got a question for you

What drug wouldn't you take? I think mine is probably fucking heroin, you know, no fucking needle is what's up? So what do you think? Dude a big guy like that could handle a little bit here. He could handle some wind You can handle a frickin, you know a little vein the size of those baseball med hands He's oh you could shoot right into that middle finger You don't understand what drug wouldn't I take? Yeah, I mean he did say but that's the thing about the mistake of heroin He thinks you just have to shoot it. You don't have to just shoot it. You could snort it You can smoke it. So like needles scare him. You could snort and smoke heroin. That's not I don't think I would want to do heroin

But I think the drug I really wouldn't take I don't think I I don't think I will I don't think I'll ever do ayahuasca. I know people I don't know I don't really want it. I don't know and people having a real religious experience on it I don't know if I really I've done DMT once and that was fun But I don't know I don't really want to do drugs anymore. I barely smoke pot anymore. Yeah, I just like drinking You sound like a damn grandparent. You don't want to do drugs anymore. I don't do drugs anymore, man I think I did drugs that I need to do I think I've done enough drugs that I needed to do But what about I could see you I did mushrooms this weekend. I did mushrooms this week

Okay, now we're getting somewhere Yeah, but they're chocolate mushrooms and you take a little bit not like you feel anything or not Yeah, you feel a little fun. It's a little fun. Would you take them with the mrs? Some buds some people came over I had people it was some it was two of my friends birthdays and we threw a little like Happy birthday, and then we projected a movie on the garage wall outside. I got a projector Yeah, and we watched the Sandlot probably one of the best movies of all time. Does the wife drug or not? No, no drugs. No drugs. Just drinking. She doesn't she never did drugs never tried never really got into him Wow She's not opposed to them, but I've also just grown weary of doing

I don't want to do I did drugs when I was young as much as I could and then now I'm like What is it? Do you feel like you the body can't handle it? Do you feel like it's not that's that's the first step Is it yeah? Yeah, I just I can't my your body is you ruin two days now Yeah, I used to be able to do drugs and function go to work. Yeah, I should do drugs at work Yeah, yeah, yeah, think about that half the people that are at work Are on drugs? Yeah. Yeah all the chefs at a kitchen, bro. Yeah, it's your order comes out quick. That's drugs That's drugs. Yeah, people are like oh man this this restaurant's great dude. He's just he's amped the fuck up That's drugs on meth eggs hash browns eggs eggs

I was I just I just never I just got to a point I think where I did a lot of drugs when I was young Oh, and then now all I like to do was smoke some weed and drink, but even weed is taking a backseat in my life I don't know why I just I just don't and do you ever remember I remember getting so high at this girl's house one time when I Was young that I couldn't even I Remember telling you some girl like I remember being stuck in this bedroom like laying on my back on this bed or couch Huh, and I was so high like everybody else had gotten high and going to do something fun, right, right? And I was like all right. I'm coming and as I'm getting up to leave out of the door. I can't I couldn't get out of my body I couldn't my body was stuck there. Yeah, and so I'm like laying there

And some girl came back in the room to get something right, and I remember just being like hey, hey, hey, you know Get me, you know get me and I Lookin at me, and I think still I was trying to hit on her or something. I might have been you know because even half and half Yeah Even though I'm down for the count, you know, I can't move it up fuck. Yeah halfway through a ten count I'll still get my dick up, you know even at six. I'll fuck is hey come fuck, you know, but um But I remember this girl just looking at me, and I remember speaking, but I couldn't I it was the only Sent like skill I had left was to speak to get it out

Yeah, like get me get me and they left man, and I just remember being trapped there literally Felt like I was loitering in my own body. That wouldn't move. Yeah, like just wandering around Trust yeah, trust wanted to call the cops on yourself to get out of my body Yeah, I had I I got so high one time at a college party, and I went in this girl's room To just get away from people because I was getting I was like my heart was jumping I was feeling really fucked up, and I was like having a panic attack that I'm like I'm too drunk I'm too fucking high. I'm on a few things. I'm feeling real fucked up So I go I go oh dude

I hate it I go and sit down in her bed, and I curled up, and I woke up to her and her roommate Screaming at me. I get the fuck out. Get the fuck out you fucking piece of shit. I was like I'm not doing anything, I just have two eyes I had like two dried tears at this point because I cried prayed to God ten times Oh, don't don't don't let me die like this in this fucking this girl's one bedroom one bath I don't I just don't want to die in a small place. Yeah, I want to die in a big house It doesn't have to be mine. Yes, but if I'm gonna die of drugs. I want to die in a big house Oh, you know dying in a small place is sad. Yeah, if you're right there. They find you right away. They walk. Yeah, they know

You're right there. There's no there's no investigation. There's no mystery. There's no allure Right, there's no hearing their heels. I'll walk on the on the nice floors as they look for you Yeah, no, where could he be is he in here? No, no, nope not in there upstairs. Yeah He's not up here. Yeah Yeah, no, I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die like that. I did that's what college was college was bad For me like that. I got myself in bad situations in college with drugs That's probably why I don't want to do them anymore Just just nights of like I remember sitting watching my buddy and were you doing cocaine or drugs?

Just every I did anything that came my way I would take all sorts of fun shit as long as other people were doing it. I'll take it I'd throw a pill in my throat. I didn't really I was like, okay if other people were doing it I was down to have fun with if we were all doing it But I remember one night my buddy was playing he played acoustic guitar And he was so high on cocaine that he was playing so much and you know He's doing that like coke mouth and he doesn't even realize he's cutting his finger His cuticles are bleeding because he's playing so hard

But I didn't want to stop him because the song was so good. I just let him write it out You know, I mean I like a musical Bible. Yeah, you're only gonna get Dave Matthews crash into me so many times live So I was like let that motherfucker play Yeah, I've seen some people do some nasty shit on drugs. Have you turns you off as you get older? Yeah, the older you get and you see people get real fucked up. You go. Oh, that's not cool anymore. It looks sad now Yeah, what is it? There's something about it that gets Well when you're younger, it's more like you have time to kill for sure totally So it's like oh if I burn two days doing this or whatever. Yeah, and your body can recover quicker

Yeah, and you have no your responsibilities are less you have nobody to answer to right like oh if I just lay in my bed For a day and a half. It's gonna be chill, right? It'll be it'll be great actually. Yeah, also. I think when you're young You want to test your limits of your body because your Kids think they're invincible because you kind of are right like you kind of are you can you can you can you can Get into a car accident and the next day as a young as a 20-year-old I could feel fine. They're like man Yeah, we got hit yesterday that kind of stung my back. I got hit a year ago. I fucked me up for like six months Yeah, you know, and it wasn't even that bad of an accident. It's just you test limits of your body when you're young because you're flawless You're you're you're a machine, you know, I mean you can do you can you can you can go play sports

You can go work out you can go get wasted then that afternoon go to a party stay up till 5 a.m Get on a flight the next day go with friends somewhere your body doesn't really react then you get older and You know what your body just your body so slowly just goes no, uh, no, uh, dude We're not gonna know your muscles start to get tighter. You need to stretch more. It's like And then young people are always like oh, whatever, but then it happens and you're like, oh shit It it starts to feel it start you start to feel like it's You can't do as much as you used to you know what it feels like when I like when a dad When a dad is like playing sports or you're shooting hoops and he's like oh my back and you're like what we just shot

We're just shooting around now sometimes when I'm doing something. I'll go fuck my back Yeah, and I know what dad was talking about. It's weird man, and you start to like you start to like whatever you're doing You start to as you're doing it. You know the repercussions. Yeah, so you limit what you're doing as you do it So you're like, okay, I'm playing defense this time. I'm not playing defense next time Yeah, because I don't have you know, I can be In three days I have to do something right. Yeah, right now if I only had to do something in four If I do something in four days, then I play defense the whole game. All right, right? I gotta do something in three days Yeah, I'm gonna have to kind of monitor. It's gonna be half and half you go in I'll go in

Yeah, you do you like start to compromise with yourself on what you're willing to sacrifice But it does get that I mean do it even try play hoops. Oh, let's go to let's go to Dave and Buster's. Yeah You know the buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, well watch hoops You know when you travel for stand-up you don't you feel the same way that there's days when you travel that you can handle the plane Schedule if you're jumping around like show to show to show and then there's sometimes when city to city city It just hits me way harder I don't know why there's some days when I'm like more exhausted from the night after night after night Even if I haven't changed the schedule. Yeah, you know, even if my diet's the same or I'm not drinking as much

Oh, yeah, it'll still best me up Sometimes I'll wake up in a city and just go come I'm like tired and in pain And I think when I first started going on the road dude when I was 22 Incible, please please I drove I drove to Montana and back in a day. I didn't give a shit Yeah, remember that. Yeah, dude. Oh, it's a 40-hour drive and here I drove back God did the stand-up got back of my car and drove right back. Of course. It was like two or three days in my mind It was like just did it in a day. Yeah. Yeah, because it didn't matter. I didn't go to bed I didn't need to eat just to tell you other comedians have to yeah, you know, I featured out there in Helena

They're like damn really like yep. Yeah last night big sky big sky last night. Yeah It's like what you're back today drove to the night. Couldn't stop dude. No money for hotel Had to keep going caught a good downhill close my eyes for a minute threw it a neutral Kicked my feet up and just fucking let it ride 4,000 miles later You would drive bro. I remember times thinking okay Instead of catching a flight for $217 I'm gonna rent this car for $19 right and then

Seven hours overnight to get to a cheaper airport where it'll where the flight will only be like a hundred and forty dollars Right because we need to save that just the couple of bucks back then meant everything You needed to save it because otherwise your time had no value. No none zero because time didn't exist back then It was like what I didn't need to be back for anything Yeah, it was like if I could if I can waste an extra day getting what I need done to get to where I need to go What's the difference? I saved the money, you know, I didn't lose any money Especially because you're nickel and diamond your way through anything. You're not eating at nice places You know, you're just you're just going by whatever you need, right gas station food

I survived on gas station food for years. Oh, I just beef jerky and and Protein bars and stuff like Gatorades. That's what I would just eat from full meals I didn't have a dinner till I was like 30. Yeah Like I didn't have like a real sit-down dinner till I was like late in my 20s and then I started to eat, you know Yeah, but before that you just you know, you just you lived you lived as cheaply and efficiently as you could But now you know now you can eat a good meal once in a while. Yeah when you want I mean, I know you you're out every night. You're out every night. No boo Malibu eating sushi. You got your own table I know they fish live for you. Don't lie. I know the Theo table. I've seen it straight like the hook to be in there

Whoever gets the hook and they're kind of fish has to buy the next meal Fish out there hook in then you buy do you ever do credit card roulette? Have you ever done that with friends? I now I'm kind of willing to do it, but for years. I would see it go go down and I can't I can't get in I hated it. I used to have friends that did it all the time and it drove me nuts You have rich friends. Yeah, I had a lot of rich friends I went to school with a lot of rich kids when I was in college. Yeah, a lot of kids you go to Drake Where'd you go to school? I went to I went to Harvard of the West. Did you really I went to Arizona State University? Yeah, that's right. Very high acclaimed University. Yeah, cuz I went to University, Arizona. Yeah for one semester. Tuxin. Yeah, real

It's a real shithole. Oh go ahead and say it. It is the It's like, uh, what's the cousin who has the um in Christmas vacation who has the Eddie? Yeah, that's Eddie That's Eddie's campus. Yeah. Hey Clark. Yeah shitters full. Yeah, that's exactly right That's that's that's what it is down there. ASU was great But yeah, I went to school with guys that had money because they came from California Yeah, a lot of guys can't get into Ivy Leagues and want to move away from where they are their parents will send them to ASU Well, cuz California has so many good schools And if they don't want to go to a local school that isn't that good of a school then they just go to Arizona

Yeah, just cuz it's a nice getaway, but it's close enough, you know Not a pool party's out of cocaine a lot of pool parties a lot of cocaine Oh, a lot of a lot of a lot of girls that are tens hooking up with sub sevens Oh, you know, like I'm a six and a half and I could get eights and nines out. Yeah, it's great You were there eating cheek. Yeah, I was having nice dude. I was eating so I was staking lobster every night Meanwhile, I'm Denny's, you know But but it but it like damn who installed a Denny's in this freaking Morton. Is that a norms? What is that? Yeah, but I but that's that's the funny thing is like there's so many

Hot guys and hot girls that at some point you're gonna get some what you're gonna get something run off Oh, I'm on when the hot truck of girls goes by and hits a speed bump when I'm bounces off. Where am I? You're here No, you had at some point It's like you so many people were so hot that even like a Unknot a girl that was a nine or abuse. That was so beautiful. Yeah, the guys were already with the other hot girls So she's like you'll be fine like a nine would have to get like her pupils dilated for some condition She had and then you would upseat day for a while me

Yeah, and then three months later when her eyes went back to normal. She's like, oh my god. Yeah, I thought your hair was regular Yeah, they never knew like I thought you were different. Yeah, me too. You're different. I thought you were more symmetrical I didn't know your face was that lopsided you had to try like she'd be like Oh, why is your bedroom a wedding chapel? I have to make ends meet I gotta do what I gotta do a marriage in 10 minutes. So you got to get out I need a woman in my life. I gotta do what I gotta do. What was your first? What was your first job out of school? Out of college. Yeah, what was your first job? Do you remember it? I was in college for about nine years

That's it took me a long time to get you and Bert Bert did that. Yeah Bert did that I'm trying to think when I got out. Did you work you worked your way through college? Oh, didn't you? Yeah, I don't know what I was doing I was still doing you know, I still that's I was doing MTV when I first started that so that took up a good bit of my That's true. You were still doing TV, huh? Yeah, so that stuff was like sometimes it would take you out of school and then I would change my pay I'd be like, all right. I'm gonna move here. I'm gonna go live here. Yeah, do you talk to any of those people from MTV? No, no, none of them. It literally feels like I didn't it's a different life. Yeah, cuz when I met you I

Didn't know about any of that stuff. Well before that well, but but even still I even after people referenced it never knew it Yeah, like I guess I was not attuned to it Like I had known what all those popular shows were I had seen real world when I was younger and all that stuff But like when I met you even when I had known that you had done it in the past It never registered to me. Was there a why maybe cuz I never saw you or anything like that. Yeah Was there a show That you liked like what's one of your favorite reality shows every time? Did you ever watch for love or money or any of those? I loved what was Flavor Flaves show?

Oh, yeah, I fucking love Yeah, boy when he met New York New York is crazy son. I love that. I thought that shit was wild because it was like that dude had no filter Yeah, when I when I first moved here. He didn't give a fuck. He gave no fucks. He had like that girl's booty is too small They'd leave it in He's easily the first flavor love conceive a child with a 70-year-old I know Rowan he's ageless this dude is this dude this dude will last look. I'm gonna give you the name Nickerette

You know Nickerette because you gotta be quitting all these other bitches Like weird names, right? Oh, your name is booty hole. Your name is booty hole, you know He was dude. He was I when I worked in the music industry When I'm one of my first day jobs out here. Let's refine that statement. Yeah, I let's restate it Okay worked in the music industry. I worked. I worked in the music industry. I used to plan tours Yeah, one of my day jobs was was getting visas for bands to travel around the world like tour manager tour tour Skeptor planning this dude. What is that? That's how it's turning black. He looks sorry. I just thought he looks exactly like Flavor Flav Oh, yeah, oh, oh, this is how it's turned to blackface, huh?

When did he do but when was that from whenever he wanted me? He's got that kind of money Yeah, I guess you can just come and come and you can come and go Here's the thing you got to be rich enough to leak your own bf photo Well, here's what's so funny about blackface like they try to get Jimmy Kimmel recently, right? They did and then he had to like apologize or whatever. I don't think he's gonna be back You don't think what I don't think Jimmy Kimmel is gonna be back on the Jimmy Kimmel show. No way. No way Why because the blackface? It's not a real thing that was so long ago. He took off the whole summer and yep

They always take off the summer to the late-night show hosts and also late-night shows they always take off the summer they always have a guest break and They do this a lot when they bring in people. I mean, this is back to Carson days Carson used to let Leno and Letterman guest hosts, but this is not a new thing Also, he's taken off the summer to be with his family. I don't think it's because of that. I also think Doing late night right now suck must suck look I mean look at letting any letting our friends do it I know it's insane and it must suck for the host that usually do it because you're in a studio with an audience You're used to the rhythm now. They're doing it from their house or from a studio that looks like their house

I'm sure guys like Jimmy just aren't loving that to be real I it has none to do blackface and I know Jimmy Jimmy is The shit a hilarious smart cool dude. Mm-hmm that whole sketch that they did the blackface sketch like Give anything context and you'll understand why they did it right Ted Danton in blackface and will be Goldberg was all Supportive of it and was like it was at my birthday. It was a joke So why didn't Ted dancing get fucking ruined? Well because context means everything. Yeah, if you're doing blackface, you know At a Nazi Hitler party. Yeah, proud hard to talk your way out of yeah But if you did it for a TV show sketch get the fuck out of here. What do we talk at some point?

What are we talking about? Well, cuz you're also it's like if people co-signed it at that time and nobody said anything like it's just It just all goes into how often when what can you go? You could go back to something in everybody's life always and who are they like obviously Jimmy Kimmel? It doesn't seem like he is a person who is Trying to like offend but he's a tons of black people on his television show, right? You know, right? It doesn't add up that oh this it's not the same thing No, it's not today's episode is brought to you by better help man better help You want to help somebody you want to help yourself?

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No cost to build no contract only two forty nine a month get yours today at modify.com slash Theo that's m-o-d-i-p-h-y dot com slash t-h-e-o these guys don't have for round y'all feel me there gang But that's the thing is people don't care sometimes right they just want to get infuriated I want to get triggered. Yeah, well, but it bleeds over look at what Twitter has done publicly to a lot of stuff It's turned things into shit that never existed, right? Like Look at what's happened to Ellen the Ellen's getting murdered bro because of Twitter. They're saying she might lose her You want to talk about someone that might lose their show not Jimmy Kimmel Ellen might get fucked But she's a notoriously been a real piece of shit, but that being said but being a piece of shit isn't illegal

Isn't a crime. You're right. It's not a crime. I don't agree with sir. I and but also I don't even know what she did That's true. Like my whole thing is like did she say Outout did she outright say like I don't know what she did Outout did she outright say like I don't hire fucking Asians or Derogatory comments out loud no gays hump right. I don't I don't hire gays. I don't hire one eyes You know do that. No, so that's where she has the diverse people on her show every fucking day Well, like and also there's a thing about look at a certain level of Power at a certain level of prestige, right?

You saw a lot of your kid your character defects are going to be magnified so much, right? You know, there's just no way to do it like she's basic. It's almost it's almost like I will say this It's like a corporation like people are always like these big corporations, you know, they're killing her You know craft macaroni killed my son, you know, even though your son never, you know They never ate a vegetable his whole life had nothing to do with it You know he's an auto accident But it's like people always want to blame big corporations because they get too big and they can't manage things at a comfortable level Right, that's a I mean Ellen is a corporation. She is like a trump tower. Like she's like a huge building. She's a business

It's not a person anymore Right, so if the person on the first floor of the building is upset that they don't get treated a certain way Right, you know some of that could be because there's 40 floors of business that have been operating So the whatever trickle down kindness. It's just not there, you know, well, it's also didn't they didn't they say it was more Her producers than her like from what I read it was like a lot of they said the executive producers Were abusive in their approach or whatever and it wasn't a lot of her There wasn't a lot of quotes from her that I heard about her saying shit Now whether or not people say she was mean to them or disrespectful or whatever

That is what it is. But again, like we said like that's not against the law to be mean. It's not cool But well, I don't understand what why can't we just have a talk about it? Right. Do we want people to change and get better or no? That's a great question Do we want people to change and we just want to burn them to the ground because I've yet to find a quote If you can find it where it's like direct from Ellen said Fuck black people said Ellen like I've never I haven't seen that yet. I've just seen them. Yeah, fuck dancers Fuck you look at it said alleged racism and intimidation. That's so vague. Yeah, that's super vague. That's everybody Right, dude. Half my friends are alleged racist, bro. If former employees say Ellen's be kind talk show mantra is a toxic war culture

Yeah, it's just it's just that's a vague statements. That's like anything else. You know who said, you know what somebody said like, um, somebody had a great talk with me about, uh Of course hardwicks thing, you know when they said hardwick had his ex said he was emotionally abusive Yeah, and and and who isn't it's hard to be alive I'm about emotional abuse What is that? That's a really vague term. Yeah, that's like a stepdad. Yeah Yeah, yes. Yes. Like also My wife said this what what past relationship of yours your ex wasn't emotionally abusive man or woman

You hated each other at the end. I bet you were fucking mean to each other when it was over What current relationship there isn't some emotional abuse of course A manipulation because you guys are fighting over certain things and everything is context But we don't know what was going on inside of that world. I don't know what's going on inside of that fucking world Because like you said, that's a big building dude. Yeah, you're right and Ellen's in the penthouse. I'm saying Ellen's a piece of shit I don't know any different. Oh, yeah, I work here's here's. Oh, you know what else? I don't watch the show So it's another world that i'm not connected to that I don't really care about so unless she outright said

You know, filipino's the lowest rung of human on earth if she said some shit like that then I got damn Ellen What the fuck that's edgy. Yeah, but until then that's false and that's very false because they're great They're great. It's the Thai people that we don't like. Oh, everybody knows that Well, I don't want to say who it is, but it's the It's this mix is the tiny's they call them the tiny's dude. I mean, I work with the korean And I have no we have one in here sometimes on tuesday. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, try to kill us all north. Huh, huh? Who is it? He's uh, I don't know if he's north or south. Is he north or south? I don't know either no papers Yeah, I work with a korean every day me and me and robert and I got to tell you

I was never ever racist towards koreans until I started working with him, but it opens up a new light You really start to see You really start to see who you hate and that's why I still work with them because I want to just I you keep your enemies close And that's bad friends. That's bad friends. That's bad friends. You give me your enemies close and that's bad friends No, I think I think this whole everything can get pulled out of context. Well, I'll tell you why I even say why I even think this for one I'm jealous probably of ellen. Yeah that she Had I feel like she's at this point She's gone to the point where she's taking a job from a young man. It seems like yeah

Yeah, that's kind of how I see her. I'm like damn. Yeah, she's taking some young fellas job Some young dude's job now I'm not saying that's a right way for me to think or feel either But that's that is a thought that comes mad the second one is a friend of mine used to work security for At her house private like personal security. Yes and said that she was a complete asshole But also now that guy was a nice guy. He was a little bit bow-legged. Honestly. Oh, I don't trust bow-legged people Well, how did you get that way? Huh? How'd you get that way? What error did you come from?

Your parents break your knees when you were young that freaking polio bad or it's privileged because you wrote Horses or animals a lot if you wrote a lot of animals you can get bow like it Well, if you wrote a real small animal then you're like you're like us. Yeah, yeah, you don't get bow like it But if you're privileged you get to ride big animals big more bow you bow up Yeah, that's the bigger the the bigger the bow the bigger the privilege That's what I say and so that's where a lot of my you know I guess my disdain comes from and I think I just have a general disdain sometimes for that culture Now if she asked me to be on her show next weekend, I might have a different opinion

I don't think you would go, you know, I don't think you would go on Ellen I don't know. I just imagine if she asked you to dance Would you go out there dancing all the way down the aisle? No, Theo Vaughn And that DJ and the DJ is like, what's up, Theo? And you have to do that thing. You're like, what up dog? Yeah, you gotta do that all the time Hey Stanley Hey, uh, hey diverse person. I can just even imagine. Yeah, I don't even need to know who the DJ is I was like, hey diverse person. He's like, what up? What up?

But would you go on there you would on Ellen? Yeah, no I couldn't I would have no business. What would I do on Ellen? Well, I mean, you know, like more of an actor you do acting Yeah, but they're not I mean, you know, if anybody from my show, they would have little dicky They would have like I'm not the star of that show even if I was the star of a show Ellen wouldn't be where I would go to promote the show because nothing I would make would be Ellen's audience. Right Ellen's audience is Moms middle-aged women mostly, you know, yeah, like it doesn't they wouldn't like me You know, like the content I put out. That's not what they like at all. I mean Right kudos to those that are broad enough. But right. I think what we make is a little bit more specific than that acting or not

Maybe too hard. They'd be like, uh, I don't like the language. He used on this on this podcast. I heard So no, what would I go on? I mean, I would I would slid a throat to be on stern Would you I love stern? I've always loved the guy. I mean like I love the show. I've done the I've done the wrap-up show because I don't yeah, and those guys are Fucking John Hein those guys are a dope. They're the nicest and they have the most fun. They don't give a shit. There's no rules They kind of let you be you sometimes you go to on shows and they like dictate how you're supposed to be You know and they shut you out and they don't make you feel welcome and you're like All right. Well, I guess, you know, I'm just filling a gap for two minutes

But those guys let you do it. I just I want to be on that on the show one day to talk to him That's a good goal, man. You know, it's sometimes I feel like I I keep myself out of my own goals. Yeah judgment. Why you know, I don't know Would you go on would you want to be on Howard? I don't know if I would I mean, I don't know if it Do you like him at all? I like him Yeah, just not a big fan. You like him just fine. Yeah, I used to I used to be a massive fan And then just time-wise I don't get to listen to it anymore because I'm not in my car listening to series anymore

Yeah, but I used to love it. You know what I loved about the guy Honestly that in the sake of how we're comedians and we can joke around like I did before I'm joking about Not liking Koreans and my one of my best friends is Korean and totally we can throw that away and have a joke And then go back to something real, right? He does that a lot which I like that He's able to just go fuck it if you can't tell the difference and when I'm kidding him when I'm not That's on you like get fucking get real like yeah, he used to be a lot more like that. I feel like well I mean, he's definitely a legend. He's getting I think also he's getting older and it's getting harder

The show is obviously getting harder to do. It's it's tough. You're you're you're you're making content every day All of it's tough. Yeah, that's hard. I just think and you changed too. Yeah, yeah He's probably not the same person. He was 20 years not even close. He's like a vegan who paints and does yoga every you know I mean like yeah, he's completely changed which is it's cool to watch his he's a Jewish Diamond Dallas page really He's Jewish. Huh? Is he Jewish Howard Stern? Oh god. I'm not listening anymore. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know Imagine 25 years Oh, no No

He is he is he's the Jewish Diamond Dallas page. He really is. Are you a wrestling guy? All the jokes that we do about wrestling. Do you watch it? Oh, this the truth is man, if I had to be real honest, there was a guy in our I don't want to say our neighborhood, but in our probably an adjacent neighborhood that trained Wrestlers when I was growing up. Really? Yeah, and did you get trained? Huh? No, but I'd go watch you go check it out I try to get in there and I got the britches one time for uh Uh, you know Christmas or something. Yeah, and it was they got me some shitty ones You know all they had they got me in one with the ballet surplus or whatever somewhere and some fucking little billy elliott's out there

Hand me down. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I look like a damn newsy. You know I look like a newsy selling papers and watching training. I look like a newsy at the gym, you know But I'd go over there and watch them You know and the guy had a ring set up in his own yard You know when they throw them off the ropes and do the body slam, you know love that and they had a uh This one wrestler guy who was I don't want to say mentally to say well probably had autism this before they had autism So it was like all that guy's a fucking, you know strong. Yeah, and it would be like this guy fire boy was his

Wrestling thing, you know, and he had like the pants and yeah with the flames on the side And some kind of doc martin's before doc martins, you know nurse martins, you know This guy had like these lace-up boots and he wrote fire boy on each one, you know And I'd go over there and watch them train the guy. Are you sure it wasn't angel drugs? Huh, are you sure it wasn't angel? Was it me fire boy? What if it would have been but dude, I'll tell you I'll say this and I'll say this again, man I I still don't understand why some of the podcast people do not make a

wrestling script This is I know we talked about this. I don't have any wrestling in my blood though. I who cares. Yeah, but I don't I don't even enjoy it It's not for me. Then you can still do it. Have you seen wrestling dude? I know, but there's something about wrestling characters. I don't like tight. You've ever been angry at a costume party. Yeah, that's wrestling, bro I know. I mean, I know I have I got no fight with a guy at a costume party. That's wrestling dude It's just the halloween. Yeah, but we really fought. Yeah We really fought Yeah, we really got no fist fight. No, I don't like I don't like um

I never I never when I was a kid. I thought hulk hogan was cool Mm-hmm, and I thought some of the wrestlers were cool, but I never followed it because something didn't click with me. I didn't like I don't think I like the boots and the pants I don't like I didn't like tight pants on men and boots. Yeah, I don't know Yeah, like well, they're in jeans. I guess I could do it if they were all wearing jeans and this guy He's his whole thing is like apathy. He doesn't take his hands out of his pocket. He kind of hates the whole thing That could be you. That's me. I'm just I'm just yeah Yeah, apathetic apathetic andrew tommy dreamer. Well, see that's my thing. You know, I know they actually slap them too in this

Carl Lentz the pastor I don't yeah, I just it's not for me. Yeah, this is getting weird. It's not for me. Yeah something about it misses for me. It's just like um Look and I like theatrics. I like I know I know that it's all a big play. I think it's cool. The idea is cool um What's things some things have gone on have have have Have gone on too long Some things which are institutions have gone on too long. I do think a lot of times

But then some things go went away for no reason. Do you know what highlight is? I've seen that scooper highlight. Yeah, you know, that was most famous One of the most popular sports in the world at one time. No way. Yes Yes, wow One of the most one of the most Spectated sports in the world at one point in time pull up a highlight. Especially because in India. It was huge. You're talking You know, but highlight they try to make a comeback. It just it's not working. It's never gonna come back But that's jerry corn bit. He's one of the most famous really. Yeah

But this game is fucking insane. I mean they're going to a court. Yeah, and the balls get thrown 170 miles an hour or something It's just it's a wild but it's a wild cool sport to watch But it'll never it'll never come back I can't tell you why I don't know what the appeal. I don't I don't know why it lost this cool appeal of watching people do that Just hug that ball when you listen to the echo of the ball off the wall too. It's daunting. It's like Really, it's crazy But look at how hard they fucking whip that thing and you get hit in the face with that. You're gone, bro

Oh, they gotta wear the helmet too. Yeah, but people get hit all the time. Really? Yeah. Yeah, people get hit all the time It's fun. That's that kind of stuff, but it loot but that loses its luster Right, it's gone. But now what about female Roller derby did you ever watch that when it was on tv? Love it, but they hurt each other. That's why I love that See, I love the the physical real pain It I love to watch someone get clipped or taken out. Yeah, that's why I love football same thing I'll tell you one time. I went to the usc

Stadium, yeah, and it was Super Bowl day and they had the women's tackle football Going on down there, right? It was like halftime. I think they were doing like I don't know something during that day They were putting on a game And it's pretty lame to say, you know a forego watching the Super Bowl I guess it was two teams I didn't care about or something and I went down there to watch that women's tackle football game Yeah, and they lit each other. I love it Uh, you've seen you've seen lingerie football. You've seen that, right? Maybe that's what it was. It was yes, okay

So that's what it was. Oh my god, it was hot with the pads on they broke some of these chicks You should pull up that highlight reel of those girls They clip each and there's also They're they're they're able to get away with more that the NFL doesn't let anymore like horse collar You can sell horse collar and that there was a pigtail on the on the on the thing after it I mean look at that. She's throwing. She's blatantly throwing her shoulder. Yeah At her neck, you know like Oh

Get the fuck out of here get the fuck out of here. Wow Dang that girl on the show and somebody they just are straight fighting somebody's chicks. They'll shoot they'll shoot up Right into the middle of the tip. I think they're I think I think fighting is all legal too. I think it's legit. Oh Damn This is it's an incredible game. This should be way more popular, bro And I'm getting mildly erect brother. I really am which is good because I actually ended up masturbating yesterday So to get an erection the day after that's really good. You're able to fill up again I can't get an I can't get a tank in that fast very rare. So I didn't know this was gonna do it for me

This is it. Now. I know how to peak your interest. Oh Now some of the ass cheeks get a little small the stronger the women get well. Yeah, you got if you yeah, you can't hold all that weight Some of the running backs Whoa Oh, yeah, fill her up, dude See this is a way to handle daddy issues if you're don't go stripping get out on the field and beat the shit out of another girl Now the problem I think is just the money They don't get paid enough

I'm sure they don't get paid shit. Yeah, well, there's no there's not enough money to be made You know like you got to have more fans, but that's the thing is like this should be a bigger sport There should be a way bigger sport Dude, you know what it's realized sometimes I don't even really want to have sex I just want to put my penis in there just it just let it sit and soak No, just get as long as you get it in it's like it's yeah, they call it soaking. That's enough really Yeah, and yeah, yeah really hardcore uh mormons mormons will call it's called soaking. Wow They're allowed to put it in they just can't they just can't make friction

Yeah, you gotta hard though to sneak it in there and let it sit like an operation. Yeah, don't touch the sides You got to let it soak for a while, dude. That's scary, bro. Yeah, dude You got to let it soak well because the thrusting is a lot of work, right? Oh, it's all a lot of work, dude If you've ever worked at Brennan's shop It's a lot. That's a lot of work It's uphill like Atlas that guy who pushes that ball up that hill you ever seen that guy from greek mythology And it always keeps falling down on him. Yeah, and no matter how close you get to the top It's gonna it's always coming and that's that's that's that's sisyphus, right?

Sisyphus never was able to get it up thick boy boy. I was like, why does this ball have a thick boy bike club shirt on? Yeah, he loves the biking, huh? Dude, it's crazy. I was like, he's sponsored by bike is bike sponsoring him I feel like he he got so into bikes overnight. Oh, he's like, ah, bro. I'm fucking 25 miles today up to say I'm like good for you, dude. Dude. Oh, yeah, I'm phony Hawk. That's it. Dude. He will That's the thing about Brennan people knock him the one thing that he is that that inspires me is that he is a hard worker Yes, he's committed who else can go from one thing to the next right? He jumps all in find their footing in it football fighting Com podcasting comedy and biking and freaking biking. He got sponsored by bike the company bike who made it's IQ tip

Really all the bikes sponsored him. Wow any bike company. He wants thick boy His instagram has become like an autistic kids instagram. It'll just be like big snake on road Just pictures of snakes Oh, yeah, here's a danger noodle. Yeah, he posed a snake like he hasn't seen he's you've seen one every day It's not a mystery anymore. Now. It's it's a nuisance to me. I'd go kind of for these fucking snakes. He's like, whoa Here's another sandwinder. Whoa The best is uh The other day he's like flags down there's some lady biking

He flags her down and let her know there's a snake there and she doesn't give a fuck. He's like, whatever loser It's just rise by Is he in the motorcycles? Is he is he up there yet? He is it's on his calendar, but I don't know. I think it's 2022 He's getting into those sit bikes, you know with the with the big sides on it. Let the Mexicans have out here Yeah, the beach beach cruisers. Yeah. Oh, no. No, I'm talking about the ones where the older people And that's like the little case on the thing for a gatorade. Yeah, you'll be a little picnic basket in the side Yeah, oh, yeah, I got your sandwich in there, honey You want a bologna? I got your bologna bologna extra mayo. He's gonna get he's gonna ask me why he said this about him

I know but it's all it's all because he's addicted when he gets involved in something it becomes obsessive He's obsessed with bike culture now. Now. It's like it's not like where you say if you were like, yeah, man I just got into you know Jiu-jitsu like if you just got into it, I'm sure you would like it and really get into it But it wouldn't consume me like when Brendan gets into something. It's like all consuming again. Yeah, he's he's an athletic addict Right, he's addicted to athletics or he buy the chef's hat or and then he gets a spoon Right, right, and then he gets the knives and he wants to make the knives Yeah, then he gets the cheese grater and he does it all right, you know, then he grows then he starts making his own cheese

Yeah, right this guy gets all the way in I like things, but then I can't get if I get too involved I know I'll go crazy. Yeah, so I have to from a distance, you know, if you've ever walked into a To a scent establishment to get that smell to get that upper on your body Get that, you know, you want something that smells good across your body You know, it used to be the old days you would carry something with you that smelled good You carry a rose or carry a muffin something to get the other sex Or the same sex depending on what you love to come over to you or to get anything to come over to you

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What do you think about when you see these guys doing the drive-in shows and some of these new opportunities that are coming up for stand-up? I talked to Segura about it. Okay, but I'll be real with you when I say this. I know this sounds annoying, but I think stand-up isn't going to come back for a long time And I mean it from a personal level. I've done so much searching inside about it I just don't think it's going to be the same when it does come back So I was talking to Schultz last night about this And I was like man, you know what we're making this kind of stuff. This is our stand-up A current future right now. Oh, yeah, because this is more fun than trying to do a digital show to me

You know and perform to an audience that's not there because this is the same there there They're watching but I don't have to wait for their response or know that they're engaged They can engage on their own. Who are they? The audience, you know, who yeah, who yeah, who's ever watching whenever they're watching this But like those live shows on zoom and all that. I just don't know if it's for me I've been offered a few times. I don't know that I can I don't know if that's my shit But the drive-in shows the the you know Burt's doing I called him too and I talked to him about it. He's having a lot of fun

We were trying to plan a tour with me and Bobby to go do that and it just didn't work out the schedules was too It was too hard and to get to one city to the next and it cost a Shitload of money to put those on outside because these aren't pre-established venues It's not like going to a club that the building's already there with the slights and the sound and they have to build this Shit outside and they're hoping that multiple people of like us do it so they can keep the venue up Keep the permits, but it's still it's very costly. So you think you'd be able to go and set up a tent You know, but even still you got to pay staff. You have to have union You have to sound engineers. You have to people who build stages. I mean, you know, it's just kind of like or you got to

Grease the constable, you know, you got the local small town Yeah, yeah, you have to hit somebody off and then even still they're gonna want to hit They're gonna want to be hit what they should have got from the union. Yeah, it's either way no matter how you shake it I don't know if it's worth it For me right now if I was as big as Burt or Segura Yeah, yeah, maybe it's worth it for them to go get 500 cars in a parking lot. I don't I just don't know Also, I feel weird inviting people to go out and not be able to touch them and And interact with them and see them and be you know have that those moments in a room when you're with people

It's just irreplaceable and I don't know. Yeah, because I'm sure you know I got invited the other day to do a show where the televisions are in front of you. There's a guy Yeah, they invited me to yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Great guy puts on a lot of awesome shows Yeah, and and apparently there's like 20 screens in front of you where you can see the audience actually see them right there in front of you That's interesting. Yeah, it is. No, it's cool. I did tell him. I said it looked really cool. But I um I'm also I also know my habits as a performer

And I don't know if that would cater to my habits. I really Enjoy feeding off the like the live energy of p. Yeah, I'm significantly better in in Pressure situations where it's live and big. Oh, yeah, then I am in those where there's almost no pressure because it's digital There's a lot of growing room and you know, it's almost like there's almost no pressure Which I don't really like like I think the pressure of live is why I like it so much It's like we paid to see you bitch. You better rip. Yeah, and when you do it's like It works, you know, whereas there there's a disconnect and it's okay if it doesn't work great because Both people know that this is a weird medium of comedy. Yeah, that's interesting. It's almost caters. It almost seemed like it caters to

the That the reward the reward isn't actually being could the reward isn't actually being funny. The reward is Their kindness because then people might act like they're laughing or laugh out of like ha ha, you know Yeah, one of those things but yeah, just because That's how they're supposed to look like they're behaving because you're not going to be able to hear their audio Right, they're just going to hear you So then it's going to become this world where you're performing for virtually for people Everybody's pretending that they're having a good time because they paid to be there and it's just going to be so I'm worried about that

I'm just I think it's I think it's I think it's good for people that are doing it that it's it's working for them because there are people So I'm not hating right. No, I'm not hating because I might do it I just wonder if the reward If it's creating a reward system that is different than the original being on stage and getting You know and feeling that moment between you and them and forcing a laugh I thought you know like some people laugh because they have there's it's not They're laughing because they want to they laugh because you the rhythm. Yes, you did it You made them laugh you did the job

Whereas if it just looks like I'm supposed to be a certain doing a certain thing Then I might just do that thing Well, because you know it's how people they always talk about how people react when they know a camera's watching them So, you know like someone in the streets, you know, they're going to react different if they have a camera on them They start to function different their eyes. They're their their movements. Everything becomes Oh hyper aware that they're on camera. So when they're on camera watching you, they know you see them now Versus in the room I you don't see audience members. You just hear them if they're laughing they're laughing and if they don't like the joke

They'll sit there and smile politely, you know, if they're not a fan of the joke. They're like, you know And those guys you can tell usually I bet they hit their girlfriends. There's always a hundred percent There's always that guy you see up front. You kind of look at the girl and just always look at her and let her know It's okay. And if you need to go we can go. Yeah, just you know, I know what's going on You should have a help code when you start the show Ladies if you're here with your man and he's abusive and he doesn't want to be here. Yeah, you know We should have a help code order that salmon. Yeah, I'll take a salmon. Then I know you're ready to go. Yeah You come with me. We'll save you. Yeah, there's always a there's always a guy or two at the show

That's not enjoying the show Because he's mad that you're doing the thing that he doesn't do Right because he hates his job or whatever and he's annoyed that his friends like you and he's like I'm not really a fan. Yeah, but I came with them, but they love you about whatever. Good to me. It was so it was pretty funny Yeah, yeah, you're not stand up. I don't think it's gonna come back for I don't know summer next year I think the vaccine has to be the thing to give people the I think to give people the comfort level It's more about comfort. I start to do you start to feel I started to feel this this week like every monday

I start to feel like wow, okay We get a little further from The existence that we knew before this disease sundays usually make my old lady depressed because work on monday is like a whole thing for her You know, that's like a startup again. It's like, oh, shit. I have a big week ahead of me And I never got it because our weeks bled together, right? We don't really know what you know It's like I've got shows every night of the week or we're on the rotor So monday and sunday weren't significant days, but they are now because sunday to me is this end of a week for me and monday is like

How many more of these weeks are gonna happen without us having The ability to go do whatever I need to do because I was saying it. I feel like forced retirement I don't like it. I feel like I've been forced to retire from stand-up You know, it's kind of like if you meet someone they get that retires too early. They usually get depressed Yeah, you don't get to do the thing that you love. I have no outlet. I can't go work out at night It kills me, you know, it kills me not to go to the club and work out new shitty jokes But now what are things? Yeah. Yeah, I feel you I start to feel like okay The interesting thing is each time I started to I just finally started to notice. I was like, oh man

I'm starting to think like we're getting further away from the life that we knew to the point where it's interesting Never gonna go back new one becomes this is it the norm. This is it Get strapped strap in this is it because a part of a lot of me still thinks. Oh, this is just such a temporary thing No, I don't think so anymore But do you start or do you feel that too a little bit where you're like it slips away Whatever was before starts to slip away and this slowly becomes About a month ago. I've therapeutically admitted to myself and people around me friends and family that I'm like the new norm is Going to be we're never going to go back to what it was. This is going. You don't think so. No, no way

I don't I really don't I think I think we will inherently time will change us for the better We will adapt people. This is all going to change. I don't I don't I think jumping back into what we thought was normal Will never happen ever again. I just don't think so. It'll be a new normal But it will be okay as well. That will also be but we will function significantly differently I mean you look at anything like any kind of any kind of societal turn right a big flip whether it's You know the internet and the takeover of what the internet did. Yeah or flu or something Well, but anything that's just a big change in our society

Inherently changed us forever and we did it. Yeah, we did it. We did it. Okay. Yeah, we did it fine We we fixed it. We we created new jobs because of it right the industrial revolution created fucking an entire new society for us Did it create other problems and put other things out of business? Yeah It's stand-up going to go out of business. No fucking change the whole world everything everything the power hammer. Yeah, didn't work Oh the jackhammer. Yeah. Yeah, but it led to the jet led to the jackhammer Right the first one the power hammer was not you pull up power hammer power hammer didn't work jackhammer worked power hand hammer power hand hammer Yeah Yeah, I think I think we're gonna function at a higher level in a different way. That's all we just have to find new ways to do it

Which is why I applaud the people doing the fucking Doing the those shows online because it's a you got to try you got to swing the bat right try it Yeah, I think the reason why I haven't gotten into the end of the shows online is because I'm like Are there enough of these yet where I can go and do two and three in a night or do a bunch, right? So that I can actually like cultivate the material and like, you know Yeah Ruminate it as opposed to just going and doing a one-off, you know Are you gonna dump all the old stuff that you weren't that you that you were doing before or no?

Well, I have a I have a special with netflix set up. So yeah, hopefully I'll dump it into there But when's that gonna be filmed right see that's what I feel like that's a good question But at a certain point they'll just be like they're gonna need material They're just gonna be like look shoot it at a you know starbucks. Yeah. Yeah, shoot it. Yeah, cold brew cold brew for mica You're slinging junk. I just think I think but I think they need to but I think this is a good opportunity for netflix To film or let people film at very unique and different places instead of a traditional theater instead of like Let's do it at a different kind of venue, right? Yeah, I think about that But then I think you see outdoors ones are just no not outdoor

Do an indoor one We'll bring up that boat thing that nick with that. What's his name head in here? Who that hand hammer never worked? Mm-hmm Never ever power crank. Look at that concepts. Yeah, remember that thing that uh hammer Dylan had The boat the drive-in boat show This guy's so funny. I love Tim It's unbelievable with stuff. He says He go yeah, well he shoots for the moon. He sounds like real slim ball. He is he's he's our he's our generation's rush

Yeah, except he's sober now. Yeah rushes on pills. Yeah rushes peeled out But here's something equipped social distancing boats come into Los Angeles. Love it Floating cinema. Yeah, great. That's just if you're rich people. Yeah, if you're rich enough, that's great Dude, here's the crazy thing that rich people do too. Oh, let's go to this graveyard and watch a movie. Love it Oh, you sit on the dead. Yeah, you let him know that you're above them. Yeah, senespia Have you ever been there to hollywood forever cemetery senespia? That's one time. Yeah, I love my heart though seeing that All these rich people having a little cheese on top of fucking And you know, Henry Ford or something Ingmar Bergman stuff like that. Yeah, I love that. I love eating that old dead hollywood people

It just shows how little we mean Right, it shows how this town this town you mean nothing You mean something you mean something for this long and then you're ellen and then they kill you And then you go sit on ellen's grave and you watch You know, but isn't that part of the thing though? It's like they built now It's become such a system. They build you up. Yeah, and then they tear you down. Yeah, they're excited for it But we've always done that Yeah, I think I think yeah, look at the bible even. Yeah, they they want they want they have to take down someone that's at the top

because it feels Uh, you raise someone up because you're impressed and then when you Have societally raised them up then you get tired of their success because Inherently they have more than you they've they're they're they're it's they're bigger than you Yeah, so they have to kind of peel you down a little bit and it almost and we all need to be It's like we're all imperfect in the end. So it's like we have The truth is yeah that there is a there's a

It's all a down life. I mean death is the death. You know death is a death the whole story ends With an arc, you know, it's a high and then a low right the story ends with us In in a field with someone younger eating cheese on top of us watching a movie. Yeah, that's how the story ends That's okay as long as you enjoyed it when you're above the ground. I feel like I'm cool with however the story goes As long as I Am putting forth effort to make it go somewhere. Yeah, because it's never gonna be

You're never gonna have a oh the whole time You know What is your industry gonna be like in the acting world because I know you guys just show dave got picked up for season two Yeah, we're supposed to we're supposed to already have been shooting it. It should be almost done by now I think shooting. Wow technically. Yeah, we'll probably not do it. So I mean they keep saying november But I don't think so. I think we'll probably do it next year and who knows. I don't know luckily Our show is

For hulu. I mean it's fx, but it's hulu because they're one now And so we're digital, which is I think where tv lives anyway tv's digital dude. I don't Here's a guy right here. He's got a question. What does he say? Is brennan's son who had the idea in dave for you guys to have a bath scene and you wash his back There's a scene in the dave show where I get in a tub with him and we're naked and I wash his back We are really naked in the shoot. Yeah, and you know what that wasn't supposed to be on camera That was that was a moment of dave and I kind of have an abonding and they put it on the show And I and I don't know if I appreciated that. I think they went they kind of went above and beyond

Artistic integrity there because we said we're kind of working the characters We're trying to figure out what we need from each other in the scene So I it was a long day. It was the end of the day I said i'm gonna take a bath in this house that we were shooting and he said I'd love to take a bath as well There was only one bath. I said we'll share a bath But I want a closed set and they put cameras in there. Damn. It's a little disturbing, but that's what the business does Yeah, they're invasive. Nothing like putting two men together and getting them naked. Yeah in this town in this in this town That's that's really what happens. Yeah, you know and they filmed it and it was my choice and

I don't enjoy that they filmed it and put it out there dude. I'll tell you a story that happened to me I remember I just remember this when I first got into town Some man set me up with a guy who was an agent right some agent guy I know what this is. He's like I'll take you to this party or something So he takes me to party cuba good and juniors there. So i'm all excited. He's always there. Yeah Then the guy's gonna give me a ride drop me back off from my place I didn't even have a car yet, right? And I remember the guy saying if you grab my dick while I drive my car will go faster

Did it? Uh, I didn't touch him. Oh, but I remember just you didn't want to see if it could go fast But we've been doing a little bit of coke, you know, and I remember thinking uh First I was like, that's insane. I don't you know that it sounds You know, that sounds fake. Yeah, I don't know if I don't know if there's a correlation to his penis and I didn't even realize that the guy was trying to be Perverted or homoerotic or anything. I didn't realize any of that. I just thought oh this guy He has a big car. He's a gearhead. This guy's a real gearhead. Yeah

But dude, he said it twice and then I remember I remember just having to stand up for myself, you know Yeah, and I love women, dude I got a I still had a picture of my girlfriend in my wallet showed him, you know, look at shannon He didn't want to see shannon, huh? You know that killed him, bro. Yeah, he's like, you sure that's not shon Yeah, that's not a shon, but I forgot about that, man It's just that it's that kind of time where they want you to be in a bathtub with a man Yeah, well, and that's that's exactly right and when you do want to do it on your own volition and not have it filmed They end up putting it on television show. Yeah, that's the problem. I got proposed to buy a proposition by

A guy who's trying to be my manager. Really? Yeah, he said I'll only take eight percent But you have to make up the two percent in other ways And I said what other ways he said I want to kiss he kiss every time you drop off money from a job And I just was appalled by the even the idea to kiss him Dropping off a check my money to him and kissing him. Yeah, but so after two or three years I had to drop him. I just couldn't do that shit anymore Kissy kiss a kissy kiss. Well, yeah, because that's one on the cheek and one on the lips. That's a kissy kiss

Yeah The nerve of this guy, you know a sneaky that's like when your grandma was like in her last year of life She fucking sneaks one in on you. Yes. Yeah, give me a little kissy kiss. Let me get that double up. Yeah Come on, Nana. Stop it hit it on the lips. Hit me on the lips. You know, we smell like old artichokes I just don't I'm done Done with it. Why does every party feel so cold? Uh, what else we got Nick? Yeah, uh, I wanted to bring up Uh, Andrew clapped back when you had tom on your instagram. I was commenting from the king and the sting instagram

Oh, yeah, what did you say? I said the show should just be called bad Right, which I was pretty proud of actually, but uh, hit him pretty hard. This is self promotion. I like it though Yeah, this is Nick. I'm I'm hoping about king and sting comment whoring gets you a lot of followers But uh, then he clapped back and he said, uh, well your show should be called. Yeah, man and covet boy Yeah, man, covet boy Yeah, man and cobalt. Well, here's one of my favorites too, man Well, you know, I got you know, I got a lot of hate for this by the way from bobby bobby Tom came one as a guest on no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No Tom yeah, tom came on whiskey ginger and we went to the bad friend studio and tom this was tom's idea To say that he's gonna replace bobby. Oh, bobby. I'm not kidding was fucking livid I was like, it's a joke. He's like, it's not funny. It's not fucking funny. You think you just replaced me I was like, bob, we're kidding of tom, of course, is not gonna do the show Yeah, that's joking But also bobby was mad So he's probably so oddly fragile. He's so fragile. He's just a delicate little

He's like something you get at the airport and it's like nice, but you're like, how do I keep this? I gotta go two flights. You have to hold it the whole flight. They didn't put it in a bag. I'm tired I'm gonna go to sleep. I took a pill you fall asleep for two seconds. It's on the floor and it's cracked already Yeah, I had to do I had to do a little clap back into the king of the sting rename your show. Yeah, man and covet boy Well, that was good. There's another one that's really good too. Go to a different picture go to go back to his main uh And cheeto santino's where you can where you can follow andrew. I'm sure a lot of you guys already do but um, there was another one you posted I said that you commented on yeah, I can't remember which one you said something on

Go down a little more maybe or if not, it's that one in the middle. Maybe right if I was dilling on our laps If I scroll down on instagram through his page, it'll probably just you'll be the show where it is That uh, uh, okay. Yeah, whatever you think is best next that's dillon That's me and that's me rogan and and creisher holding dillon on our laps You know, it's so funny like that is a picture that genuinely makes me go God damn. I miss hanging out with friends and doing stand-up and fucking around I mean what like I really that's the kind of stuff that genuinely when I scroll past sometimes It just makes me a little you know a little soft. I go fuck. I miss hanging out and saying hi to people

I think we didn't know how good I think everybody and this includes everybody for their own walk of life. Everybody didn't know how good we had it Oh, we had it so good. We did whatever we wanted as humans the freest country in the world We're allowed to do whatever we want all the time And then when this happens here, you just goes to show you how restrictive life can be when something gets in your way I mean, oh, yeah, what can you do? Oh, we're almost. Yeah, I feel like we're damn. Which one was it? Go down a little bit. It could have been that further away because we just I remember it just happened Okay, I don't remember what it was was that on your personal account or maybe bad friends. It could have been the bad friends account

Yeah, maybe maybe it was bad friends. It could have been. I was like, oh, I gotta ask to do this show Oh, I'm glad Bobby found somebody to do to do this show with him. That's what it was That's what it was. Maybe it's a bad friends episode. Maybe on that one No, you know what go back to my profile. I bet you it was that same picture I'm telling you I bet you the exact same picture with Tom And you said I got I think Theo I think you said I got asked to do this show I got us to do this show and I said you already do a show with a handicap guy Shout out Brennan Shaw, man. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out, Barnardor. Yeah, that's our boy. We love Barnardor. Barnard's shower dude. Barnard's Shabbon.

He's gonna get freaking mad. No, he's not. Yes, he will, bro. No, he's not because he knows how much we love him. That's true You write, you write, you write. He knows love. There's a big difference. Also, what did what did uh Go back up in that scroll that what did uh, let me only ask you this though. Look at that. What it Oh, I thought that was somebody else never mind. I was like who did I thought it was George who could fight him. I'd be up at the top Yeah, it usually does how why does it should call it just bad? Oh, he did that if you think you know, there's yeah That's you again mistake rick and his alcoholic burn victim friend. Look at that. Did he nick kept throwing punches? He should But did I comment after that? Did I comment at that one? I don't know. No, because I was busy and that is Theo's line

Alcoholic burn victim. I gotta yeah. Yeah. No, I know. I like that That's I love that when that's when the Rat King shows up dude when he's got a freaking defend his well He doesn't have a choice at some point. Uh Do you think who do you think is going to win this election? Do you think? It's interesting. Yeah, now I change my opinion. I used to think um I genuinely used to think Not and I'm not saying I'm not putting you on a political side or anything I'm just talking this openly. Who do we think could win this election? No, no, no

No, no, no, it's not a political thing. I used to think Trump was gonna win for sure I thought I thought in my mind. I was like, there's just no way Because he was so polarizing and and he just was controlling the country keep that up net And then now I don't think so anymore. I just don't I think in lieu of what's going on. I don't think so Who won the 2020 presidential election and this is over the past year What the percentages I see there you go. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say Hey, there you go. I still don't know. I I don't think he will anymore due to the fact that Well, he bombed during the black lives matter thing. He didn't be between BLM and the pandemic

I think are a perfect storm for him to Cause him to lose. Yeah, do you know what? I mean? I think that's what I'm I think those two things will make it go Nick is just checking his fantasy stuff. It's not No, he's checking the odds. No, I know. I laid a couple of years ago. I laid money on Trump on 2020. Yeah, what'd you put down? I put down $250 that he'd win again. Yeah, and it was like 10 to 1. Is there a parlay? Do you get to pick? I saw the same thing it was before he had won the Republican the Republican nominee he was plus 800 and like you knew he was gonna win that so at that point It's 50 50 essentially like what are the odds right now for Biden and him? It's like, uh,

Biden's the favor those that would see him those. Yeah, sorry, Nick. No, no Yeah, I do want to see this. I do want to see the favorites because that's why here we go minus 150. Oh, wow Wow Well, see that's what silly. Why would they throw an oboe? Why would they throw in Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama because here's what happens just in case if biden can't make physically cannot do it The electoral college gets to pick Yeah, uh, or the is it the representatives? There's a group that gets to then put somebody in his yeah, sure

I mean the DNC then gets to replace right the DNC then gets to put somebody in his stead That's why a lot of people still think and I've thought this the whole time that Hillary Clinton is gonna slip in at the last minute And and replace him or somebody is but Michelle Obama has never even talked about being a put she's just I don't know She just launched a podcast on Spotify. It's huge. Yeah, that's because they want to get paid 2024 They got they got seven Emmy nominations from their look But the obamas have parlayed Their presidency into being media locals now. Oh, yeah intelligently. So if you're gonna get out of being a president You can't just play golf and and so

Because they're still young They did the thing that you would do if you were that young you'd go well Let's get a media deal with Netflix for a hundred million dollars Yeah, make shit employ people and keep making money. What about this thing? Here's a here's a different question What do you think the effects of the pandemic will have on how people vote? That's what I start to wonder because I start to wonder if a lot of people think that we're gonna head towards socialism Yeah, then they're gonna be voting against that I start to wonder if a lot of people think that

Um, the president is the one who got us into this situation. Then people are gonna vote against Or are gonna vote democratic because of that, you know, it just starts to make me wonder how like this This thing that we're in right now is gonna make people Vote because I don't even know if people are voting for one person anymore that much I mean, I feel like as much as they're voting against How they want the world to be and what they think I think people used to vote for their party, right? I think a lot of times people voted for their party I think now people are voting because they diverse now. Yeah, I think people hate the other person now

Yeah, yeah, what you said, I think people used to vote. Oh, I don't really love the guy, but I'm a republican So I vote for xyz now. I think people go I fucking hate Joe biden or I hate Hillary or whoever and they go off so I'm oh I'm for sure gonna vote for this guy Regardless of yeah the party they just get so They get so annoyed with with the other party that they're like I'll do anything to get written to not to make sure they don't get in You know, which in in essence is the same, but I think it's more personal now people People really who hate trump hate trump people who hate biden and hillary and and and bernie same way

They hate they had the same kind of hate on both sides. So but people have gotten so dived people are more There's we just have to get away from this two-party party system is the most flawed thing on earth Yeah, and hopefully that's what I think is that whatever is going on over the past eight years four years And in the future is that's where it's leading us. Well, you should be able to pick you should be able to pick from You know what you have to have an odd number isn't it wouldn't that be the isn't that the case per? So you'd have to have like three per side or something like that So yeah, if there's three candidates from republican party three candidates from the democratic party That's who you would want to put up a fight because then you'd get an extreme from the republican

a a middle from the republican and then a more almost left-leaning republican or or someone like you know Pete Buttigieg, you know who that you know who would a judge is almost like he could be both I don't even he's somewhere in the middle you know, he's a gay vet who loves guns but also is is Pro gay marriage but also is very conservative in his financial approach about taxes

So you're like this guy's kind of all over the place But you need that option to be viable because it's legitimate. That's how people think these days Nobody is one way at all. No one's all the way in on anything. I don't believe it to be true I wish we elected the president and the vice president I always thought that bernie and trump would have been a good ticket Yeah, look, why does he get to bring his friend to the party that we didn't prove? I don't understand that It's always weird because yeah, why did they get to bring in because then you could really check the Say if somebody got president then you could check them by having

Yeah, a Vice president that had different views and like totally incorporated more of your you know more of your views So then it would always be like they're always gonna have somebody that they're gonna have to Discuss things with yeah, you know, yeah No, I think I think people are gonna this is gonna change a lot as far as change a lot But also I think I think we need to get back to a place Where we step back after all this chaos and we start to understand that like agenda isn't the way to get messages across We need to have conversations

Yeah, because people are just hearing stuff and then they get mad like I got mad the other night not mad But I just got I was like this is fucked there's a proctor and gamble commercial proctor and gamble is a major fucking corporation And it's a commercial where it's a young it's a young black dad with his son And they get looks everywhere they go Right, there's a little girl waving out of a Mercedes a little white girl And the mom rolls up the window when she sees that she's waving at a black kid And then he puts his son in the pool and a and a white dad gets his son out of the pool because the black guy Is in the pool and then the very end of the commercial you see that he's actually they were in a courtroom

And then you pan around and he's a judge The the the the dad the black dad And it's this thing that's like it's a conversation we need to have about um racial inequality and judgment and silent racist Intentions and yada yada yada While I know what they're saying I know what they're trying to communicate I think that is so poorly done Yeah, this is the commercial because all this does to me

Is you could play it and play it in the background because I don't think there's any it's just music. There is no uh There's no dialogue But you know they show him and his son having a good day And then it's waving at a white girl and a Benz and the mom is like no way you don't get to wave it blacks like what? What is this from 1940 this is this is now they're airing the shit right now And look don't hold the elevator for the black guy says the three whites in the elevator. Oh my god I mean dude, this is insane. This is going on. I just saw this last night when I was watching baseball Who's that?

Thought coming to the door. She's cute, huh? But look, what would you like to sit at that table next to the black guy? No way. We'd rather sit over here You know, let's get out of the pool. I don't want to get in the pool because the black guy's in there with his son Right. Oh, you're in a fancy shoe store. Look at the black guy. Look at the black guy checked on the black guy He's black. We don't know what he's gonna do in here. So right the message is extremely obvious of what proctor and gamble is saying I just want to see what the script is at the end You know He's a judge now, you know, we cut to a courtroom. They turn the cameras around and obviously we see he's a judge

Um And their statement is yeah, and this based on a true story. Yeah Yeah, but it turns out he didn't even go to school to be a judge Let's all talk about let's all let's all what is that? Let's all talk about the look so we can talk about the look so we can see Beyond it. Okay. So here's my here. Here's what I want to say about this and then I don't want to ramble on to more about it But it made me mad last night because I Know what they're saying do do many black people in america Or the major maybe all maybe a high majority feel that they get that they get things like this that things like this happen to them

Perhaps yes, perhaps so that is that can be true, right? Yes This message though is almost like saying All white people do this stuff. Yeah, all of you do this Which is so fucking wrong and not true that this should say There's a very small percentage of white people who publicly have no shame in being racist Right, and they're fucking assholes and fuck them forever. Yeah, but but the conversation that should it should say Let's talk about how people are blatantly racist and why it's wrong versus This shows different factions of white people at different levels of life

Shunning black people and it's almost saying this is what you do without knowing it. It's like no the fuck I don't know the fuck. I don't put that saying like it's a this I believe in my heart that most the high majority of whites in this country Aren't inherently racist towards black people in that fashion. I agree, right? I just don't believe that to be true I've agreed it for a long time. Do I think there's some people that are yes, right? Yes, there are probably a portion of people that see a black eye in a pool and don't swim in it Because that black that white guy is racist. Okay. Do I think most do that? No But this message is like saying most if not all white people are racist towards black people and I just don't believe it

I just don't think that's true because it is perpetuating a narrative that is that is so broad How could you encompass all the whites ignorant to have this be the narrative almost? Yeah, it's fucked up because that's not how I fucking feel so you're speaking for me now, right proctor and fucking gamble. Yeah And so the but and a lot of this comes from I think the people who make these commercials now And who are in the driver's seat of a lot of the advertising and all of that. They're all from a lot of the same places It's the same repeat people over and over again who have never lived in different communities And so they think that this is what it's like everywhere because that's what they see because they don't live in those worlds You you said exactly what I said on

This last podcast I did with fit Simmons my biggest beef with a lot of white people yelling the loudest Is they don't interact with anybody of color anyway, right? They have no black friends They have no no fuck saying just black friends. They have no friends of any other race besides whites So then they go this is what I think Other whites do right well that you don't live in the world Especially proctor and fucking gamble A massive corporation. Yeah What world do you live in that you know that and what I would rather see what I think it would be more helpful

Yeah, would be to show a commercial that shows people of all ethnicities Treating a different ethnicity a certain way. Yeah, because I think there's I I believe that there's way more bigotry in the country than there is actual inherent or You know like that systemic racism people talk about. Yeah, I think there's way more bigotry that goes all types of ways Oh, please like I see everyone is racist. There is so much bigotry to any other race. Yeah It's not just a Street of of one way street of white people being racist to black and people are so White people who have been

Doing their best their entire lives do not be racist and to be supportive of black community to be supportive of black artists My favorite comedians are black and have been my whole life. Well, the most popular ones are Yeah, like the best and they're the most popular the most popular musicians like I feel like there's a lot of like Support of black culture. I see that a lot more than I see stuff like this anymore. Correct. Um, because this exists I'm not saying it right, but it's so small and you're making the rest of us Who aren't that way? You're making us angry not at black people, but you're making us angry at this repeated beating us over the head Yes with the narrative that doesn't apply to us that you keep putting us into and I think you're gonna have a lot of people

that are gonna vote in Uh in the election against the media Yeah, and I don't know what that vote looks like for them But I think a lot of people don't care who the candidates are But if they can find a way to vote against shit like this, that's what they want to you said it right, bro They're beating you in the head with a narrative that doesn't apply to you and so it infuriates people like me to go You're saying that you're it's like you're saying I need to have this conversation About races. I already know there's racist pieces of shit. Yeah, I don't need fuck them

The conversation needs to have look how many people in our communities At least the ones that I live in or my friendship circle people that I'm a part of that are supportive of other cultures and races And we get along and we enjoy one another's company if you put that image out more Don't you think that does better? Don't you think it does better to show us interacting with other cultures and races versus going this happens all the time This is happening on a daily basis. No, I have enough black friends that have told me They get treated differently in different situations. Yeah, I they have to my face been like no when I walk into this kind of place I get treated like this. That's right. It happens, right?

But This is once again That is a small amount of people who are outwardly racist and do racist things, right? I'm not talking about subconscious racism I'm not talking about when you when you when someone says they see a black guy in a nice car and they go We must be a rapper or an athlete You know in their mind they go. He can't just be a lawyer, right? That's subconscious racism that people have I'm talking about this is blatant obvious get my kid out of the pool. There's a black guy in the pool This I just don't believe that this is rampant

I just and maybe it is in certain parts of the world but or country But I got to tell you that ain't the fucking majority. No, it's not at all Dude, I was in Oklahoma. We were touring. We stopped in Oklahoma at a lake, right? Yeah, one small little bitty example We stopped in a place. Yeah, where if you showed pictures of the place to anybody in In one of the coastal cities, they'd be like, oh man, you know, I bet there's You know, I bet their racism everywhere, right? We went out and stopped and went swimming in the side of this lake, right? And it was mostly white people. They had

Three black kids there or two black children that seemed full black fully african-american And then one black kid that seemed black and white. It was mix. Yeah, and they were Part of the they had a black and white couple and then they had a one of the kids had been adopted And it was like they nobody there was doing there was no race. Everybody's having a good time, right? Like that's so much more of what I've seen in my life. Same Um, I see more of that than I see the other side and we traveled the country when somebody goes You're a california liberal. You don't fucking know. What do you mean? I lived on planes for 10 years going to every part of this country seeing all different cultures

And yeah, there are people that are that have hate in their heart. They exist But you can't help that as much as you can't help anything else. It's like that's going to ignorance will exist But I think the message we need to show people is people getting along with other people We need positivity in this shitty time show people interacting with people of other rate Praktor and Gamble put out a commercial about how we're doing our best To be one to be a race of humans instead of this fucking great divide, you know instead of you know Because it's not even real bro. That's the thing. I know the divide is not even real No, they've made it. They've made it more of a thing. Yeah, the news wins when you do that

That's the scary thing. Well, look at what they did in Portland, you know This is it's a fucking war in Portland and you know, look up the fucking stats of Portland I just looked it up the other day, you know, it's like it's not even that bad but it's also like These storming the streets for for for Black Lives Matter I understand that why people are protesting But you look up Portland, Oregon on fucking Wikipedia and you're like the inherent Racist past of Portland, Oregon

You want to talk about go google it of railroad workers that were black that were basically socially enslaved in this Fucking city for years and it's and it's one of the highest percentages of all white communities in the united states There's all these fucking loud angry white people with no black friends with no black communities near them But they're mad at things they have no connection to and you're like, how real can it be when you've never lived with any other race? Do you really know what you're talking about? That's the thing. I've always said that like, how do you know you don't fucking live? I'm like, it's like 79% fucking white or something insane. You're like, yeah, what? I just like You're the most segregated fucking city in the united states. You're the most mad. I don't understand like I don't get it. That kind of stuff blows my fucking brain

That's crazy, man. I just I just I get frustrated because I'm like, yeah, no it's frustrating They're divided we should be coming together as one dude. We should because that's what we're actually doing in real life We are coming together. Yeah, bro. You watch sport like We are in reality. We are coming together. You look at younger generation all their friend groups I feel like a lot of their friend groups are really mixed same. I see that all the time all the time But why isn't that unproctor and fucking gamble? I don't know. That's what my point is like We need to push that narrative more for us to be like, yo We're trying to get we're trying as a community to grow and most people do I think yeah

And I think a lot of people choose we can choose to and I there are moments in the week where I choose to want to get angry Yeah, and so I go to find those things to make me make me that way, but we need to not anymore I think and we're trying and we can do better. Yeah, so we can do better. Yeah is not imbibing their bullshit Right. It's just push it to the side. Yeah, if I want to be racist, I'll be bracing his damn Brendan He's fucking half British. I found out yesterday. Is he really? Yeah, and you know, you can't trust those I mean, you can trust them. No, you documented that it's risky. It's very risky. It has a bad history. He's half British Dude, his aunt has an accent Oh, fuck

Really? Yeah Good day, bro. Yeah Chip chip perio. Good day. Clean out the Gemini pub That's his aunt dude She's a thicky thick up on the roof right with a damn You know feather deal dude. I'm gonna come on uh, whiskey. Yeah, you gotta come on. You gotta come on I want to have you on so we can sit and talk and yeah, I want to come on a couple weeks shop

Yeah, dude, they have non-alcoholic whiskey. I wonder if not they have uh, they have de-alkalized wine They have like soju that's de-alkalized. I don't know. I'm gonna I'm gonna find some I'll find some whiskey That's de-alkalized. They have something, huh? Yeah, they gotta have something that's close to it I'll call free whiskey. There you go. They gotta have something. Can we order let's order one right now if we can if we can Yeah, yeah, and then I'll bring it in that's great It's called ritual zero proof. It is And I'll make you an old-fashioned or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, we'll make something good get a bottle dude I'll come in yeah, I want to come in. I'll come in a couple weeks. I think it'll be really fun

And we won't yell about what's going on in the news as much. It's just as my passion got real It's okay, man Well, it's just last night rubbed me the wrong way and then you know what's so funny I took my dog and I just made me it made me feel okay again. You took that dog out. I took my dog out And I was like, okay, it's fine. I was mad for a little bit and then I was like, that's fine If I like life is okay, right animals will show you that life is fine like it's just right They just show you that they're like, no, it's fucking we're gonna be okay We just keep functioning the way that we function. You don't need to worry about other people's bullshit. Like just it's really true, man

It's like, yeah, we just it's always that it's just like do what you can do. Yeah Do what you can do try your best. We're all gonna die So have some fun figure it out be as cool as you can. Yeah be a party. Yeah try your yeah Just try to be a part of something that's a little different, you know, sometimes it's tough, you know, yeah Sometimes you grow up with stereotypes Dude, like I grew up. Yeah, we didn't they didn't have any wealthy black people when I was growing up except for some athletes Right, so then I would get older and when I would see a black eye in a nice car I would think oh is that guy at us for a certain age

I would think oh that guy must be an art a musician or an athlete right because you never saw anything else It was the only thing that it was the only way black people could get ahead But now in places you see a black eye, it's not you don't think the same thing No, well if you live in an area that has thriving culture. Yeah. Yeah, it helps to live in a place where you go A major metropolitan area when you see people have millions of different careers and there's not just one way to get out of a Either impoverished or lower socioeconomic place, right? Yeah, you when you see it you learn it you grow Yeah, the more you fucking travel the more you meet more people and I don't mean travel to like I'm vacationing in France I mean go two states over. Yeah, go see how other people live in different places. You automatically learn

Inherently that your view of culture is not the it's your little telescope Is all you see in your hometown when you leave that and you go to other places you go fuck They don't function like that. They don't feel this way. It's it's worse. That's one thing It's great. I think about the whole black eyes matter movement. Is it does it has made me Examine how do I look at Other races and cultures like just to make sure like check in and be like Do you have a different do you have like preconceived notions when you see a black guy? Sure like just from your own stereotype Stereotypes over the years or your own experiences. Do you have preconceived notions about anybody?

I think there's been some I notice a little bit where I'm like I'm a little bit more pensive sometimes when I see black people I have a fear just from my own experiences growing up, right, you know growing up like a But I don't think that's racist as much as that is just your your your childhood, right agreed. I agree Right, but also it's good like some of this movement has made me stop and look and say hey, man Be you can do you can try to be to not carry those sometimes totally You can try to because people can feel that energy and I don't have I mean I have black friends, you know I have like I don't always have it, but there's moments where it's like, hey, man, you know

Recognize that you're just kind of having maybe a little bit of that flare up or a little bit of stereotype and see if you could just not You know try to let it be, you know, well, yeah, because you know that So that's one thing that's great about this. I do think is that it does It helps people be introspective. Yes. Yeah, you should look inside yourself And I think that's a positive thing because you know that any flaw you have doesn't come from hate. Yeah, right? That's the difference. That's why I'm asking people to let people grow. Yeah. It's like, I'm sure it doesn't come from hate I'm sure it comes from ignorance or or or or or Or misinformation or a lack of or a lack of interaction. That's okay. Let's let people grow though

And because otherwise we're we're fucked. We're all gonna be cancelled. What's a zero? Oh, you bought it. Oh, I like it Amen, I like it. We can't but yeah, that's I like that. We'll get you on zero proof with zero proof I want that zero proof. By the way, I'm excited to see what it can we get some zero proof coke? Nick will you order that as well? Dude, we can get some b12 actually and do that. Let's let's do some b12 That's what you do on tv when you sniff Yeah, I've done it before dude. I did some I did some a pilot like a year and a half ago And they had it in those like these two like 15 year old girls doing it at this pool And I went over there and did about eight lines

It's the good old days. Oh, yeah, bro. I've been yeah, I pissed like a fucking straight up wizard, dude Like a water wizard the rest of that day the b12 does uh, it does kind of Give you a little tickle though. Like it does wake you wake you up a little bit. It's a little baby bump. Yeah It's like uh, whoa, whoa, what? Okay, it's only it's only a couple seconds Yeah, we'll have you on we'll drink some uh some zero proof Yeah, the world the world will be it will be a better place too. It will man, uh Check out Andrew out on bad friends and whiskey ginger. Thanks so much. Thank you, dude. I appreciate it. Thank you, bro

Time For me to set that parking brake and left myself on my Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story Shine on me And I will find a song. I will sing it just And I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my Hey, and these wells that I've been riding on they want something that they're damn they're gone. I guess now they just