This Past Weekend - E295 Nashville

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

Theo records his first episode from Nashville.   New Merch -  https://theovonstore.com  Everything currently 25% off   This episode is brought to you by: Hawthorne: https://Hawthorne.co and use code THEO Raycon: https://BuyRaycon.com/theo  Draft Kings: Download Draft Kings app and use code THEO BetterHelp: https://Bettherhelp.com/THEO    Music -  Intro: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn    Hit the Hotline : [phone] Video Hotline: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline    Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maybe some type of skin or something. An animal skin. So audio's going? Yeah, audio's going. All right. We're all good, okay. And this can be the first one here from the Central East out here in Nashville.

From that Central East location, good to be here. On the back end today, I got a local sidekick, this fellow Riley. Riley Mao, and you're of age, right? I am. Okay, beautiful man. Okay, all right, let's get into the episode. And now I'm going to have me a diet coke.

I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home? Oh. And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been. Wrong. Now I'm just sitting on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves

I must be connoisseur. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I can feel it. Come on. Here we go. Let's go, baby. It's life.

But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself go on. Shine that light on me. There you go. I'll sit and tell you my story. It's shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you.

And that's it right there. The shine right there. And you know it, because it's the same one every time. You know, it's almost like a ghost. You know, it's there. A lot of people don't want to admit about ghosts. You know, these days people too busy for ghosts.

You see it a lot. You see they're on the go. You know, people laying there at night and they're just, you know, they're just, you know, they're busy. They're on their phones. They're looking at an app or something. Looking at a damn whatever Fox Hunter

or whatever that Robin Hood, the app that's really got all these, you know, millennials out here taking their own lives and investing in damn Amazon or whatever. Tesla's was, you know, a sound crack or whatever the damn whatever that stock is they're on. But, um, yeah, people busy too busy for ghosts. And you can feel that if you really think about it,

you can feel the ghosts starting to back up in the ether. You can feel them, man. And that's when I get nervous. Cause when I was young, you'd see a ghost. You'd hear a ghost. What is that? That's a damn ghost over there. You know, it was easy.

Something that, you know, it happened outside. It happened inside. What is it? It's a ghost. But now people are too busy for ghosts. And what is the repercussions of that? Is what I'm wondering. When the dark side, when the, you know,

when the ghost, you know, the ghost vestibular, whatever, wherever ghosts are, whenever that damn just gets too backed up cause nobody's seeing them. Cause I'd be pit man. If I'm a ghost and you used to get all, you had all this clout and now you're at a, you know, there's a children's sleepover and they don't give a damn.

They don't give a damn. They're doing the, you know, virtual hula hooping or whatever or tick talking or doing, you know, BLM, the board game. You know, they just, they, it's just different times. But anyway, man, shout out ghosts. I don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm over here today in, I am in Nashville out at the central East.

This is the central East studio. It's coming along. I'll say that. This thing is coming along, man. It, and you can see it on the YouTube. It's, you know, I got here about five days ago, got a painter in, found an old man to paint and he had a little sidekick with him and that fella was using drugs, I think.

But not on premises and I respect that. And not, and I guess the right amount of drugs. That's what you want. You want painters, you want contractors to be using appropriate amounts of drugs because you get a guy who's got, you know, he's too sped up and next thing you know, he's painted, you know, he's got your bathroom.

He's got a flat enamel in your bathroom, but he's also fucking, you know, he's added a demi gloss or something to your damn, you know, to your Toyota Tundra. And he's got half of that, but you know, he's spackled all the doors shut because he's gassed up on too much dust. But you get a man who's just even Steven

on the right amount of drugs and he'll damn paint in one bedroom. And that's what we had here. So getting it into Nashville. I'm sitting here, if you're on the YouTube, I got a silent assassin here with me today or semi silent. And this a young fellow named Riley Mao.

And what is Riley short for, bud? Riley. Okay, man. Okay, so nothing, see, back in the old days, you'd have a longer name, you know, Rolando. You would be, you know, Rolando or, you know, little Riley or something longer. And Riley would be short for something.

Right. Nope, I'm just Riley. Okay. All right, beautiful man. And you are, and you are, you're, I don't want to say you are from originally California. Correct. But by way of Japan and Hawaii.

I guess so, yeah. Okay, you're your family. Yeah, my grandparents, correct. Beautiful man. You have them beautiful Jejas, baby. I love Hawaii. What island? I like Maui, I like Oahu.

I don't like that. You know, I haven't been to the big one. I haven't been to, what is it? The big one? The big island. Yeah, it's just called the big island. Oh, damn, yeah. See, I don't even have a name yet.

I'm not going. You know what I'm saying? I'm the kind of guy, you name it, I'll show up. Oh, yeah. But if it's nameless, man, I'm not, you know. Right. I'm not milling around at that. But we've got Riley here off the internet

and just happy to have some assistants here in Nashville. Man, thank you. Great to be here. Yeah, thank you very much, brother, what's been going on? Let me think about this, man. So yeah, I got here to Nashville and want to let people know what's going on. A lot of rumor mills.

Oh, Theo knocked a woman up. You know, Theo's got it, you know, he's adopting. They're doing foster children out there. Rumors, that's rumors. You know, rumors are just damn, you know, it's not, it's not real information. It's just bullshit that somebody made up when they were high or something like that.

But the real, the truth is that I'm here and that we're just trying it out. We got the Central East studio sprouting. Okay. We're bringing in, we're doing unique stuff. We got people of color. Okay, we got Riley Mao in here. We got guests that are going to come on that are unique.

We're trying to, you know, change the vibe a little and expound. People say, well, Nashville, whatever. Well, because it's very, I'll tell you where Nashville is, three hours from Cincinnati. Four hours from Columbus. Two hours from Huntsville, Alabama, which is kind of almost unfortunate,

but 27 hours from Cape Town, if you stop in Amsterdam and Qatar. So it's definitely, it's, you know, we're trying something out. That's it. We're trying something out. There's no other information. There's no wedding bells. There's nothing like that.

And if I felt welcome here, that's what I've been asking myself really, a couple of new things. One, I tried the MMA. So I tried it, man. And it's basically, it's like full contact DMT, man. That stuff, MMA is a real thing. And a lot of you guys know I've been, you know,

I've been trying it out and having different experiences and, you know, just being a fan. You know, I've been fortunate enough to meet a lot of MMA guys and do that kind of deal. And so now I'm like just trying to check it out. I went in there and I got, well, they made me fight the women, which is fine. You know, and I don't like to call them women,

but they seem like women. I'll say that, beautiful ladies. And they whooped me, man. And they were straw weight. One of them was straw weight and I guess I'm straw weight. And I'm scarecrow straw, I think. That's the kind of straw that's in me. But I got in there, it was over at Nashville MMA.

I hit up Mike Chandler and he got me squared up, squared away over there. And it was fun, man. It was, you know, you get in there and you get in the outfit. You get into the gi and you're just, you know, it's very, I mean, you feel like you could beat anybody in Antifa, any of these proud boys, you could whip any of their butts.

You get in there, you just kind of your arms or your weapons, your legs, your feet. And yeah, I mean, I had to fight the women, you know, it was definitely, there was definitely that moment where it was like, okay, I'm excited, I'm keyed up, I'm in here. And then they're like, okay, you know, Barbara's gonna, you know,

Barbara's gonna put you in a leg lock or somebody, you know, when I was young, if you wanted to know a woman, you had to go, you know, you had to look in her window, you had to lurk, you had to be, now there's more stalkers, everybody's a stalker. If you go meet somebody in person, you drive past their house or you park in their, you know, in their driveway and have a smoothie or whatever,

you're a criminal. When I was young, that was flirting kind of, you'd drive over there and sit outside and say, hey, you know, yeah, they were startled, but it was, it was a little more of that primal kind of like, have you ever seen that animal in the nature channel that makes its feathers real big so the other birds will come by?

It was like that, it was like that. So, what else happened to me? Oh, well, I've already run into some issues here locally, I will say this, at the parks here, I took a little bit of bread out there, you know, I took some biscuit out there to the lake to feed to some ducks. And you know, me, man, if I'm in a new area,

I like to get acclimated with the animals, bro. I'll pet an animal, you know, I'll pick a snail up and walk three or four feet and set him down, you know, save him fucking five days of travel. That's who I am, you know, I'll pet a dog, I'll whistle at a falcon, I'll fucking, you know, I go out and feed a duck.

I see a duck, I feed a duck, and I give a duck bread, right? But I give him biscuit. I had breakfast, I had half a biscuit left, you know, I'm watching my figure since I'm doing MMA now, I'm straw weight, I'm currently female straw weight. And so next thing, you know, I'm feeding biscuit, man,

and these ducks are fired up. These ducks are really keyed up, you could see ducks in the distance looking, you could see ducks that haven't even been born yet, you could see a duck peek out of the egg, you know, just hearing that there's a kind of a new boss man in town, you know, a new fucking yeast Santa,

you know, I'm out there delivering goods. So I'm feeding, you know, I got half of a nice biscuit, and this is an expensive biscuit, it's probably a two and a half dollar biscuit. So we're looking at a $1.25 worth of biscuit bread, I'm out there feeding these bastards over there perennial lake or whatever it's called, perennium lake, by the vestibule or something.

So anyway, I'm feeding them next thing, you know, I started getting, I put on my Instagram story, I started getting DMs, people angry, you can't give them bread, you can't give them bread, you know, they'll die, you know, they'll, oh, this is what they said, oh, if you give them bread, they get too jacked up on energy,

and they will rape each other, look, man, I'm not doing all of that. I took a half a biscuit and went out there to treat these animals, to get acclimated to the area. If somebody else, if they're doing all of it, you know, I'm not doing part of sexual abuse for animals, I'm not doing any of this. If they don't want bread, data shouldn't come eat it,

that's not on me, people attacking me, you're going to hell, bread boy, and then sending me two caskets in a picture of a duck. Emojis, man. That's mother nature, man, if there's a glitch in her pattern, she will work it out. And these ducks look like they wanted the bread, that's the thing.

You know, it's like, oh, they can't digest it, they will rape each other. Well, look, man, I didn't come to town to be part of that. You know, I'm not doing no sex traffic, and I'm not doing that kind of stuff, I'm not doing, you know, I came here, I just, you know, I'm trying to get acclimated to the area. You know, when I was a child, ducks would eat bread.

Have you ever given bread to a duck, Riley? I have. And did you, I mean, what are you, or, you know, it's a lot of the youngsters getting at me, a lot of millennials coming at me, you know, do you know any of this information? I don't. When I was back in California, where I'm originally from,

I live around what's called Eastlake Village, and there's always a whole bunch of ducks in the lake all the time. I would always, as a kid, go out there and feed the ducks. That's what I would do in my childhood. It was just a big thing that everyone in the community did. It's a piece of culture, I feel like. I feel like it's a piece of youth culture.

It is. And do you, and I feel like that, that stretches over all cultures too. I feel like if you were black, white, Malaysian, whatever, feeding a bread to a duck is normal. Right, I've seen literally anybody I could imagine doing it. Right, exactly. Amen.

So anyway, right out of the gate, they're jumping on me. They're, you know, you're bad, what are you doing? Take your bread back to California, and then they would call me the F word, F-A-G. You know, just like, come on, man. You know, it's just, it's like you can't do anything these days without somebody jumping down your throat and opening up a damn kitchenette, you know,

full of mostly knives. It's just that kind of place, man. That kind of vibe, not the place here in Nashville, I'm just saying that kind of vibe in the world sometimes. What else happened? Oh, I gotta announce this. I am going to be doing some live shows. You know, I'm a performer.

Riley Mao, I do performing, I do stand up, I do, I'm an artist, I guess you would say, not, I wouldn't say artist, but, you know, I do comedy. And so I'm gonna be doing live shows. I'm just letting them know that. Thank you. I'm gonna be performing in Dubuque and Des Moines. That's gonna be September 25th and 26th, I believe.

And that's all gonna go on sale on Wednesday of this week or Tuesday, probably Wednesday, I think. And you can see it on the IG. You can see it online on socials. And those are gonna be outdoor shows. Those are gonna be different outdoor shows and we're gonna just see how that goes. I'm gonna experience it.

I'm just gonna lean into it. What else? I hope everybody had a wonderful Labor Day. You know, I hope, you know, it's a weird year for Labor Day because a lot of people haven't had work. But a lot of people are getting back to work. That's one thing I'm noticing. People are getting back to work.

You know, a few weeks ago, I felt like with the virus, it was like people were pretending, like we all started to kind of pretend. And now I feel like people are just like, you know what, I'm gonna work. And for the most part, people seem to be doing okay. Except for this fricking lady, this FL, who works out at big lots, I'll say this.

Now we support a lot of small businesses, big businesses, you know, from time to time, we'll even sell you some bullshit on here against our own knowledge. You know, I've read ads for something and the next thing you know, I get it and I'm like, damn, you know, like a hammock with a hot tub in it. Just, you know, sometimes people are just selling

a real piece of shit. Excuse my language, man, excuse my language also, Riley. Not a problem. Okay, do you, where you're from, do you guys use a lot of profanity or what is it like over there? So I am a Christian and an Eagle Scout. I don't do swearing at all.

That's just not me, but I mean, hey, I don't judge. Okay. Well, you can judge me, I'm gonna let you know that. Awesome. You can judge me up until the point that I'm willing to accept it. And then I'm gonna try to use less of it around you then. All right, I might write some of the words down

and show you some of the ones in advance that I'm gonna use from now on. Just, I just don't want there to be not fair communication. Sure, okay, right. Cool, man, thank you. Well, I will tell you this though, if you wanna go to big lots,

it is a real H-E-L-L of a store. Okay, if you wanna go to big lots, mercantile, you roll in there, they don't even know what they're selling anymore. You know, they had a 180-ounce coffee pot in the front. What? And it came with the maker, the coffee maker looked like a damn washing machine.

You know, just like, who, you wouldn't need half a family to even tip the thing over and pour a cup or a bucket. You know, I guess it's for, you know, that kind of that group think mentality or whatever, but anyway, I'm in there, I'm looking for stuff. You know, excuse me, a little bit of, my chest is acting up, I'm having a diet coke.

It's just a mini, it's 7.5 ounces, but. So anyway, I'm at the big lots and I'm trying to get a few things and I don't wanna be there. I wish I'd have walked into a target, but I'd been driving and I was wearing shoes with no socks and my feet were real sweaty and I was angry. I started to get angry.

I hadn't eaten breakfast and it was about 130. And I just couldn't handle myself anymore and I was just angry and the car, I got a rental car, it keeps gearing into S and I don't know what that is. You know, I've seen the regulars, you know, N, D, P, R. And this one, every time you try to go to D, it ends up in S and I just don't know what's going on

and just, I was just furious, man. So I parked in a dang, you know, when I get angry where I'm from, if men get upset, they would drive over to a Winn Dixie, which was a chain grocer and they would park in the lot. Sometimes you'd see them crying over there or, you know, looking at pornography,

pleasure in themselves, all kind of stuff, but it was kind of like a, it was just like a place where men would escape. They'd park their truck behind the Winn Dixie in the parking lot and then they would just, you know, almost release whatever they had to do, whether it was sexual or emotional. You'd see somebody crying so hard,

they'd open the truck of their door to let the tears all out, you know, like they were vomit. And now, so anyway, so that flares up in me sometimes. So that's what happened. You know, I pull over there, I haven't eaten and I was trying to eat healthy, that was my goal for the day and all I can think about is a damn Wendy's,

you know, Junior, whatever it is, whatever killed Dave Thomas, his favorite one, that one, the good one. So I'm thinking about that and I don't have socks on in my shoes and I don't care in the beginning of the day, if I wear socks without shoes, I think it's kind of stylish,

but halfway through the day, your feet get sweaty and then I can feel myself ruining my shoes. And these were nice shoes, they were a gift from someone. So I'm just losing it and I just say, look man, I just, I gotta get a few things. I'm gonna go into a place called Big Lots. So I go in, I got me a few items, I get to the register. Oh no, first when I went in,

the lady immediately pulls me over to sign up for a $5 gift card, right? Now I'm gonna be, do I look successful to you or not Raleigh at all? And you can be totally honest. You look very successful. Really? Just the way that you present your presentation,

wow, present your presentation. The way you just act on camera, the way that you show what you do. Okay, okay, good, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Good to hear the millennial perspective. And what I'm saying is this, man, that I'm happy to be a part of everything.

I wanna be a part of society. I wanna be a regular man. I do not need to spend 12 minutes getting a $5 off coupon, okay? This lady couldn't figure out the machine and I wanted to leave, I wanted to go, I wanted to get the few things. I was already angry.

I wanted that bacon doubler or whatever. I just, I had sweat in my shoes. I was sad, I was just disappointed. I just wanted to be behind the damn Winn Dixie. And I'd honestly masturbated a couple nights in a row. I don't like to, this is something I probably shouldn't tell you since we don't even know each other

and who knows if we're even gonna work together. Riley Mal, but I do not prefer to masturbate. It doesn't make me feel good. So I do it sometimes as a, I don't wanna do it. So just letting you know that. So you know what I'm referencing when I say that. But anyway, so I didn't wanna do it. And anyway, so next thing you know I'm at big lots,

I get the dang thing, it's five minutes. But the whole time she's having me fill out this form and stuff and get the gift card. And I don't wanna be at big lots. I don't wanna be at big lots, dude. I parked there cause I was not feeling good and I went inside at a certain point. You just, you know, I figured,

I didn't know they have a, maybe a protein bar. I need to see about getting a desk for the studio. You know, maybe it'll have some things. But I get in the first thing you see, they got 185 ounce damn coffee pot. And there's a kid shooting a basketball into it. I'm just like, what in this store makes no sense? You know, they got the world's largest pillow or something.

It's like eight feet by eight feet. Where are you gonna use it? There's no place for that. So anyway, there's just a lot of stuff in there that you don't need. And that's why they're going out of business. Well, anyway, the lady, the lady keeps asking me if I'm wearing cologne.

I'm not wearing any cologne, right? And she won't take no for an answer, not being real, real cool. Anyway, anyway, I walk around there and it just, nothing makes any sense. They'll have like a thing of Cheetos, like a, literally like a burlap bag full of Cheetos. And then right next to it, they'll have like an aquarium.

And then they'll have one of those fountains, like a fake stone fountain, where the little guys urinating into the bird bath. You know what I'm talking about, Riley? You ever seen those or not? I've seen them everywhere. You have? I have.

Okay. And when you see that, what do you feel like? What is that? What is that? Is that cool? Is that lame? What is it? I mean, I just don't really,

I don't really have an opinion. I just, I see it and I just, just regard it. I mean, I couldn't care less, honestly. Okay. And there you go. That's a young perspective. They don't care. And it's fine.

I'm not judging you or anything. I'm just, when I was young, when they came out with the bird bath baby, that would urinate the little sheriff or whatever the little angel boy and he's urinating into the bird bath. Oh, dude, it was like, that was our 4K. You know, that was,

that was our Vietnam. That was, it was so exciting. No one had ever seen it. A bird bath had just been a place where birds would come to bathe and kind of go on about their business. And now suddenly it was this, you know, there was a stone baby and he's urinating. And it was just more exciting.

So anyway, but anyway, this is all besides the point. So here's what happened is I get some stuff that I do not want and I'm buying out of sheer anger. I'm wandering around the store. I'm just, I'm not well. Every other aisle has sandals in it. It's just like, what is going on here? What is going on here?

It's basically like a trap house for, it's almost like a halfway house for shit that should be at Target. It's like, oh, here's a lawn chair that got, that was doing heroin, you know? Here's a, oh, here's a swing set that they caught with a couple of grams of coat. You know, it's just everything there kind of,

it's like, it's all part of a big foster family or something and nobody's paying the rent. That's what big lots is. If you haven't been to big lots. So anyway, I'm leaving. I'm at the end of my rope and at the end of my journey in there. And I did, I will be honest.

I ate two protein bars in there that I paid for one of them. I'll be honest with you. I don't want to lie to you, Riley. I paid for one of them, you know? And in your culture, do people lie a lot? Is there a lot of dishonor in lying? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of lying. I mean, a lot of it could be,

I mean, there's plenty of examples. Lying could, until, what was I gonna say? Keeping surprises. That's one of them. Another one could be, I mean, just flat out lying because they don't want to maybe hurt someone. It honestly depends. Yeah, lying is a big thing.

It just honestly depends on what the lying is about. Okay. And in your grandparents' culture, do you notice anything different between your grandparents' culture and your parents' culture as opposed to lying? I'm just trying to get to the root. I know, I mean, your family has deeper roots

in the universe, probably than mine. So I'm just trying to establish, do they care more about lying? Do you feel like? Yes. Okay. I feel that. There you go.

Thank you. So what I'm saying is this, I'm at big lots, I'm leaving and the lady, I get up to the register and I'll say this, the lady was not nice. I tried to be cool. I said, hello, how are you doing? No response, zero response. And I'm already not doing well, okay?

I'm already not doing well. Okay, I have 200 feet of telephone cable in my buggy. I have shit I do not need in there. Okay. I got a 60 pack of baby Ruth minis. I don't want any of this. I want to get out of the store and I already feel compromised.

I've got the $5 coupon. I've already spent the time getting it. I feel like I at least need to use it. I did get two throw pillows that aren't that bad. Anyway, the lady, not being nice, very Ruben-esque woman, okay? And I'm not striking low here. I'm just saying she wasn't cool

and her name tag said, Lord G'sh on it. Now, if you're going to have a child, we all probably have, you know, I don't have children. You have children? Okay. Well, you're going to have them probably. Or you could probably still be adopted if you wanted to be. But what I'm telling you, man,

is that if you have a child and you don't name it something that, you don't have a child that could be big and name it Lord G'sh, okay? And the lady's giving me a hard time. And I don't know if it was Indian or Native American, but Lord G'sh was not happy. She put all of my stuff I bought into one bag.

Okay? Okay, Riley? Yes. Yes, like I'm Santa Claus or something, right? Like everything into one sack. And she can tell if she would have looked in my eyes, she would know I'm not doing, I wasn't doing very well. So anyway, man, it just was a rough welcome.

It was a rough welcome here. You know, it was a really, really rough welcome between, between Lord G'sh being a real peace. Just not, just not cool, you know? And, and I even, when I left, I didn't look at her name tag immediately. And then I was like, oh, well, I just tried to be nice. You try to one up them at the end and still be nice, you know?

And I said, oh, thank you very much. And then I looked at the tag and I could barely get the Lord G'sh. It just, because it almost seemed like I was making fun of her because she was a larger woman, you know? Like if you have a daughter and you're, say if you're, if you are Rubin-esque, you're, you know, I'm just saying if you and your wife or spouse

have some physical attribute to both y'all are bigger people, you're not gonna name your son Fat Randall, you know? You just, it just, it's not gonna behoove him, you know? You're not gonna name your boy Lil Big Rounder, you know? Or Marble Daddy or Gravity Junkie, you know? You're not gonna name your kid things. So anyway, but Lord G'sh was a real bitch. And I'm sorry to say that.

I know you're in here and I shouldn't have said it again. I know you do though. And I don't wanna, I just don't want things to get out of control, so. Anyway, but yeah, I'm here in Nashville, man. I'm excited. I did, oh, I'll tell you what happened. Today's episode is brought to you by Hawthorne.

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Now Riley, do you ever donated blood? I have. There you go, man. That's what I'm talking about, man. And so you don't see a lot of that. You know, you youngsters don't know what it's like, man. When I was growing up, blood, you know, now there's tons of blood.

Now you drive down the highway, you see, you know, you'll see blood on the damn side of the road. But when I was young, blood was a real commodity. You know, when I was growing up, blood was a, there just wasn't as much blood, man. You'd have a friend that have eight pints in them, you know, and the requirement is nine. You'd have a friend you'd shake his hand

and it would feel like almost like a beanbag chair because you'd be a little light on blood, you know. But now everybody's got blood and it's just, I'm just saying, you guys are spoiled, man. You kids are real spoiled. All right, man, let's get into a little bit more of what happened, dude. And I want to say, I don't usually get angry,

but man, Largeesh, you got a G up, boo. Because that attitude ain't gonna help you, you know, and then packing my bag like I'm Santa, bro. Dude, I had to walk out of big lots with two hands, two, two, two hands on the thing of my bag, walking out of there. What are you, are you paying attention, Raleigh? I am indeed.

Okay, just seem like you're not, but that's all right. Oh, no, I definitely am. Okay, thank you, brother. I do not believe you, but I do appreciate that. All right, let's get into a call right here. Now, Raleigh, what we do on this show is calls come in sometimes. You know, and a lot of people are like,

why is Raleigh in here? Why is he in the room? It's usually a solo episode. And I don't know the answer. You know, I just, I don't know the answer. You know, I was nervous. I'm in a new place. We're trying something new by just being in a new place.

Nick is in here. Nick came here for a few days. He seemed a little stoned when he showed up. That's judgment. Is that judgment, Raleigh? I don't think it is. Thanks. But Nick will think it is, though.

I do know that. So let's get to your calls. I want to say thank you always. The hotline is 985-664-9503. Ooh, I saw Leon Bridges last night. You familiar with him? Yeah. I saw him.

I saw him playing music, man. And that's really a beauty right there of Nashville. That's the beauty of Nashville, man. You are somewhere and a piece of magic shows up. And I mean, if you have not seen Leon Bridges, then I just don't even know what's wrong with you. You might have eight pints of blood in your body. The man is just, I mean, he just,

oh, I felt like I went to church. I felt like I got married. I felt like I got buried. I felt like I learned to cook. I felt like I had just bought, you know, five fresh scratchers all at once. I mean, it's just like, it's almost like you opened up your ears and he's just over there

just scooping sugar into him, you know? And he got that sound ax, baby, he got that, he got that freaking loud hammer, baby, that get-tah. And he's just serving, bro. He's just agave-ing you up. And you just leave out of there filled with sweet, man. And he showed up and played the hits. And I'm talking about Leon Bridges.

So if anything gonna get you over troubled water, you know what it is, baby, Leon Bridges, man. As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503. Let's take a listen right here. Hey, Theo, this is Alex from Kansas. Thank you for calling Alex. And I appreciate it over there in Kansas. And if you say Kansas backwards,

this spells, uh, sas-nack. Let's hear more, brother, onward. My wife and I have had like a lot of animals, we live kind of, my wife and I have had like a lot of animals, we live kind of on like a small farm. And I have an eight-year-old daughter and we have like a lot of animals die. Um, cause we'll have like unorthodox stuff,

like, um, chickens and like lizards and fish and like all like outdoor cats and some like chinchillas and just weird, some weird stuff. And I always think like it'll be a great experience for my daughter to like raise. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna cut the call because it sounded you're calling from a dang, one of those rock tumblers.

You know, it sounded like you're calling from the inside of somebody's, um, gastrointestine. You know, and they've been eating the fuck, you know, they had a half a handful of rough cinnamon. You can't, I don't know what you're calling on. I mean, you can't, are you calling from the middle of a tectonic plate shift, brother? You got to get your audio up, daddy.

And I'm sorry, I know I'm sounding rude, but, you know, largeesh wasn't real nice to me. And it carries on. So I'm sorry, I'm kind of, I am kind of being rude, but look, people have called about this a lot, you know, and you don't know this about me, Riley. I grew up, I used to raise hamsters when I was growing up and I've been involved in a lot of small ground game

my whole life. Okay, have you ever had any small animals? I have, I had a dog when I was little. Okay, it's great, man. And so what I'm telling you is this, brother, is that people call in and this man's saying, hey, how do we teach the kids when the animals die? How do we teach them a lesson?

How do we use it positively? And this fella's on a farm and yes, when you're on a farm, you get different animals show up. You know, you go out there one time, there's a little toucan out there and he's putting up, he's putting a little, you know, a little, you know, a little dip in his beak or whatever. You know, you go out in the morning,

there'll be a herd of ants out there, you know, pushing half of a damn jolly rancher down the driveway. You know, farms, just animals know where they are. So if they're in the nature, they'll stop in. A group of sparrows will stop by and attack a yard man. You know, RIP Big Johnny over there too in Natchez, Mississippi, and I used to work with him. And he got ganged up on by a whole swagger

of them sparrows, but a farm is basically like the Hampton Inn, a mother nature's Hampton Inn. When animals see a farm, they say, oh yeah, let's stop here for the night, even if there's passing through the area. But the way I've found to help children learn about death, you get a little animal and you name it the same name as the grandparents.

That's what they did in our family, you know, Pop Pop and Clara. So then when they die, you practice, you know, you get them that three month Roborovsky hamster, you know, and most of that market is going to Russia now. But at the time, when I was growing up, these were beautiful animals. They were well kept, you know,

they had full amount of blood in them. Now you get a, you know, you get one that's got 60% of blood. It's got a lot of, you know, it's probably 40% saline solution that's been dyed red. You just, they're not the same. A lot of that market's going to Russia, a lot of hamster, small ground game market. Anyway, I'm rambling. What I'm saying is you get the animals,

you name them the grandparents names. And when they pass away, you practice with the children. Oh, let's bury Pop Pop, let's bury Clara. Let's bury Zab, let's bury Ladi, let's bury Jean. Let's bury Mon Mare. And then they get the hang of it. So then when you, when the actual grandparents die, it's, you know, now things can get a little weird

because it'd be like, hey, let's flush grandpa down the toilet. And that's kind of, you know, that's where you got to plan ahead. And what do they do in your culture, Riley? What have they done with the animals? Honestly, it depends. Fish would be either down the toilet

or in the ocean because, you know, I'm in California. So we have the whole Pacific Ocean next to us. For dogs, I mean, for my dog, at least we, I have a friend or my friend's mom, she owned a bio-earn company. So we had our dog turned into a tree. So honestly, it just... That's what they're doing now.

You hear them? That's what the youngsters are doing. They're having their, the dog turned into a tree. Unbelievable, man. And does it feel positive to you? Where does that feel like you think? It does. It does feel positive until like, you know,

there might be like a tornado or something. Well, I mean, obviously in California, there's no tornadoes, but like if there's a tornado here, like how there was and like if the plant was here, well, I would, I would like run with the plant. You would take the plant and leave with it? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Wow. But now you're on the hook. Now you got this tree you got to care about. Right. Now, if it gets ants, the tree gets worms, the tree gets, you know, you know,

now at the middle of the night, somebody comes out there, you're throwing a frisbee against the tree. You know, it's like, it's not going to... It just, things are supposed to have a life path. Right. And now we're just continuing it on. But that's California.

Hey, we'll put a dead dog in a tree. You know, that's the, you know, that's that next, they just keep you on the hook. Now you're, you know, now every month for an extra $30, they'll dump a fricking, you know, they'll open a can of cat food or something, put it, set it on the branch or something.

So it just never ends. It just never ends, man. But that's how you learn about death. And you mentioned they had a storm here. They had a tornado that came here. Correct. Okay. And people, and what, how, how, how rough was it?

It, it did a lot of damage for sure. It did, I think, I want to say a billion, two billion dollars worth of damage. Dang, really? Yeah, it was a lot. It tore right through middle Tennessee. It went from, from the middle of Nashville all the way over to Hermitage.

Oh, wow. I didn't know it was that bad. Oh, I know a soup plant. I know it, it definitely, it took down a dang soup plantation over there in Hendersonville. Yeah. And that broke a lot of hearts.

But one thing that gets me is mother nature is going to do what she's going to do. And it's how we react to it. You know, and everybody also wants to play a victim a lot of times with mother nature. Oh, mother, no. Oh, it's so hot. Well, you live in the sun, you live on earth.

You know, there's sun in the air. You can't be shocked that there's warmth, that there's warm coming out of it. You know, you can't be shocked if you, if you live on a glacier, that your feet get cold. You got, you got, you know, and everybody wants to be, oh, you know, the tornado. And, you know, we were about 60 miles from it

and the power went out. We lost power, some lady kept telling me. That ain't, look, look, get a candle, boo. You didn't lose in power. Losing power is not, your arms don't work. That's losing power. You know, when you can't hug anybody, you just got to rub your neck against them

and let them know you care. That's losing power. Okay? Or your legs don't work and you got an elbow crawl to the door to get a damn Amazon box, you know? That's losing power. You know, electricity, you light a candle.

And you can change all that up. But that is how you, you name the pets after the grandparents, that's how it works. You know what, name the pets Largeesh, bruh. Because she's got something coming. I'll tell you that. Um, let's go to, uh, let's go to another call right here.

Here we go. Hey, Dio, it's your boy, future army helicopter pilot, Mikey. What's up, Mikey? And thank you for calling and good luck out there in that military, bruh. It's my first year away from home and I'm spending all this motherfucking dorm money on it. Ugh.

And why did he have to curse, you think, right there? Rally him out. Who knows? It's just how he talks. Yeah. Okay, you're right, you're right. Onward. On a virtual education from ROTC.

Okay, you take an ROTC virtually. Okay, onward. God is doing sweat activities on the Zoom calls, huh? Anyways, they got these college girls hitters in the Zoom call and I want some advice on catching their attention what these opposite sex hitters buy through the online calls. Sometimes I make them laugh by mirroring what they do on the call and that's really all I've done so far.

Um, any advice on catching the attention of these fine ladies? Um, gang, gang, don't do coke onward. Gang, brother. Do you do cocaine, Rally? I don't. Alright, so what this man is asking about is being on Zoom and flirting with women. And I guess there's something to be said for having some Zoom game.

You know, I think one thing you can do, I love the idea of mirroring what the lady is doing. That's like a cute way of flirting, kinda. You know, she drinks out of something, you drink out of something. You know, she puts on a, you know, do a lipstick, you do a lipstick. You know, she, you know, pets an animal or something. You pet an animal. I really like that.

I also think you need to, you want to have stuff in the atmosphere that shows a woman how you feel. You want to set something nice out there. Get your little plant, get your little bonsai out there. Little cactus, man. You know, set a nice, some shoes or something in the back, something nice. You know, you want to have, you just want to have a, you want to have nice things.

You know, if you're eating something, make sure it's something classy. You know, get a plant and even, you could do gardening while you're on the call. Start doing a little garden. You know, and do something sexual. Throw a little, you know, plant a couple Viagra's, plant a couple Blue Shoes, throw out the vibes. Say, hey, you know, I'm ready to grow a little root for you, mommy. You know, you got to, you got to, you know, you got to plant ahead a little bit.

You know, leave things out that are good. Leave things out that she'll see on the zoom. Things that, you know, some fresh bread, a little fricking, some remotes. You know, different remote controllers. Let her know you got a little bit of money. You know, do that kind of thing. It's gentlemen it up, hang a tuxedo in the distance, you know, put on some James Bond or something in the background, you know,

get a picture of download a picture of rich parents, Google rich parents on the internet, print it out, hang it up, plan ahead. So that's easy, brother. And you're welcome for that. All right, I do want to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Ray Conn. And look, everybody listens to things. You listen to different things. You might hear something.

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What else is going on? Oh, in the news, I saw this, that they had a gender reveal party and they lit up the dang forest in California. A couple people trying to beat open, you know, somebody trying to beat open a flaming armoire with a golf club just so they can let you know who their, what the gender of their son is. And California said, we ain't having any of it. And now there's a forest fire. Over 7,000 acres of male and female forest have been burnt to the ground. That's, that's, look, man, they don't, you gotta, California is not a, they don't, nobody has a gender.

There's no more gender there. They ain't doing gender. They ain't doing gender. You try to reveal anything's gender fire. That's the new rule there. Oh, you want to see this? You want to see it? You know, see if the baby got a teddy or something, they shooting open a damn water balloon with a cannon.

Do the baby got a teddy or wiener or whatever. Bam, fire. The gender reveals they can't handle it. You know, when I was young, Riley Mal, when I was young, you would look, you know, you got to be five or six years old. You'd sneak off and look in your pants and see what you were. I remember not, I didn't know what I was, you know, I remember one time I'm over at my friend's house. He's a little bit kind of, he was kind of fat, a little kind of chubby guy and he was taking a break. He was always doing that.

You know, we'd play any game, we'd be 10 seconds into the game and he would turn red enough to take a break. So I snuck off behind his house over about a kind of about a firewood, looked in my pants and I was a man. There wasn't no party. There wasn't no cake after there was no petty force, you know, no balloons, no BS, but there wasn't any fire. You know, you youngsters, you want everybody, you know, you know, you got to win or you want everybody to have a damn, you know, slice of homemade pie or something. So just different, man. It's just different. What else have I been seeing a lot of?

Dude, you know what I was thinking? A lot of these BLM rallies, it's all white people. That's how lame they've gotten. Black people aren't even showing up to them anymore. Could you imagine if a black guy showed up to a BLM rally, he would be like, this has gotten bad. This has gotten, I just can't even imagine. I'll say this. There's people fighting in the parks and stuff and you keep seeing it.

This is what is, it's our Renaissance fair. You know, the world has gotten a little more violent. They got the UFC now. You could watch people beat each other into unconsciousness in three minute increments on the weekend. Brought to you by Toyo tires. They're selling you tires while somebody is losing their ability to recognize their family members. That's why a lot of protesting. I think you get these Antifa, you get these proud boys, you know, you get these Wildcats out there.

That's the new Renaissance fair. Get a turkey leg, go to the park, and watch them larp it out. That's all it is. That's all it is. Let's take a couple more calls that came in. Here we go. What's up, Theo? It's your boy Jim from Jacksonville.

What's up, Jim? And Jim can be short for a lot of different names, bro. Jimmethy. Let's hear more. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on this WAP. She's like WAP's hiding the streets right now. I was wondering if you had any thoughts or comments on that WAP. Worship and praise, my brother.

Praise the Lord. Amen, baby, PTO, brother, I feel you. And a lot of people are talking, you know, they have a lot of risque music out there, you know, and they got the new song WAP and it stands for Wet Private Parts, basically, Female Crotch. For me, I don't listen to it. I just don't, you know, I just don't, I think it's more of a girl's song. You know, I just don't listen to it, man. I don't listen.

When I was young, WAP was also a racial slur, I think, even, you know, and so I'm not, if I go around yelling WAP, you know, I just don't want to get involved in any, you know, I don't want my grandfather to get excited and run and grab a weapon, you know, that kind of shit. So I don't listen to it, brother. Jim from Jacksonville, I appreciate you calling. I don't, you know, I just don't need to be thinking about it because I have enough visions in my head of female body crotch, titty, shoulder area, you know, neck, back, leg, nice leg, you know, and I'm trying to keep, I just, and it's okay to have them.

I just don't want to be, you know, touching myself. So that's why I'm trying not to, I don't need to be driving around as an adult man, listening to someone yelling about their crotch being wet. I don't, I don't need that. Okay, great, man, onward. Let's take one more call here that we got, that we got here. Let's, let's hear it. Yo, what's up, Theo?

This is Nick from just outside of Baltimore in Maryland, the safe side. But this past weekend, my girlfriend and I, we took a trip to Lancaster, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, you know, out there in Amish country. And we saw this girl. Yeah, Lancaster. On like this scooter slash bike that didn't have wheels and she was moving faster than a horse. Literally faster than a horse. I thought, man, what, what are we missing out on?

What if the Amish were in the Olympics? Think about that. I was like, man, I know you're always thinking about the next movie that you and your podcast buddies could do. You talked about wrestling or something like that, but I want you guys to do the Amish Olympics. Anyhow, man. The Amish Olympics, huh? And this rally, this is a fellow called, and this guy's obviously under the influence of drugs, marijuana. You know, this guy's driving through Pennsylvania, is his girlfriend, and they are watching a child and a horse.

They're watching a child on a scooter pass a horse. You know, the Amish were the original aliens, you know, before they went to aliens. Oh, space. There's people in space, you know, being crazy, doing this kind of stuff and, you know, lasers, all of that. They had the Amish. That was the original alien. Like, hey, let's go watch a guy hang laundry. People are like, no.

Let's go watch a guy make his own milk or milk his wife. Like, no. You're kidding. And then you go and you'd see it. You just, you know, you'd be in the woods to be a couple of men. And that's a police, I guess. I don't know. If you see the studio here, it's, I mean, we have a limited.

It is learn as we go. It's been a learning experience, man. It's been a little bit of a trying time. But when I'm telling this guy, Amish Olympics, let's do it. I'm ready to see everybody in it. And I want to know where the black Amish are. Where are the black Amish? You want to get out there?

You want to do something different? Find these people. Find these people and report them. All right, man. Let's take one more call. This has been a wild episode has been, you know, we're getting through this. That's what this is called. I think getting through this.

I want to say, um, I want to thank everybody for their patience. As we, you know, with this episode, we got it out a little bit late this week. But we, you know, we had to make sure that we're figuring things out. There's not all, you know, we're missing. You get over to the different areas of the country. They don't have the same people. You don't have the same, you know, you can't just, you know, kidnap somebody. And next thing you know, they know how to help produce a podcast or edit video.

You know, it's just not the same. It's not the same types of people. So it takes them. So you got to look through the woods a little. You got to find your black honest, you know, you got to find that rare person, that alien, that unique, that large, and let's take one more call that came here, came in here. Here we go. Yo, Theo, this is Jesse, man.

This gave me a call this afternoon and, you know, um, What's up, Jesse? Yeah, I remember, man. This is last week, but I do remember, bro. I hope you're doing well, man. And yeah, thanks for, for chatting with me onward. I've been thinking about it. Well, I just got out of work and I've been thinking about it and like, you know, I feel bad because,

like, you know, I felt like I was just, you know, maybe I'm just overthinking, but I feel like I was discrediting your feelings because I was like in the, you know, starstruck kind of moment of, you know, you giving me a call or whatever. And like, you know, you were expressing to me some, some things you're going through and like, you know, looking back on it, I was kind of like dismissive of it, I think. And, you know, maybe I'm just overthinking. That's what I do. But I just wanted to express that to you and how grateful I am that you actually did reach out.

Man, because it did help me today. I was going through a lot today and I've been going through a lot lately and, you know, I try to put on a mask of everything's great and golden. But, you know, there's just life, life's going on and stuff, you know. So we can get through anything together. You know what I mean? We do it together with you. I can't do alone, you know.

So, you know, my, my celebration is coming up here September 26th on the Zoom platform. And I'm pretty excited for that, dude. Thanks again for calling, man, keep up the good work and, you know, keep that gratitude, man. I'm grateful for you every day, dude. Love you, gang. Thanks, man. That's a nice message, man. That's a really nice message.

Yeah, I don't think that you were rude, man. You know, and I didn't mean to surprise you just with the call, but I'm glad that we got to chat a little. And, yeah, I overthink everything, man. I overthink everything. Like, dang. Like, dude, I'll be like, dang, man, was that too weird in that meeting? Like, did I, sometimes I'll be talking, I'll be in a conversation. I'll be like, am I looking at this person for too long?

Like, do I blink right now? Do I, what do I do? Touch my face. I wish I had some gum. And some of them I'll keep a little, you know, a baby snicker or a jolly rancher in my pocket so I can open it up. You know, if I start to about eight seconds into just staring somebody in the eyes, it's like, okay, blink. Have a J.R. You know, break up the momentum.

But we do it together, man. We do everything together, you know, and I appreciate your call back and just, man, you're golden in my book. And just the fact that you thought to give me a call and just say, hey, man, that means a lot, you know, and just, and that you cared how I was thinking or that, you know, it's, you know, we're here on earth and this is the gift as each other. You know, the gift is each other. And it's been a, this has been a rough time for a lot of people, you know, a lot of, you know, we get addicted to the news and addicted to the, watching the drama and, and I was thinking the past week, I've been thinking, man, people over politics, I've been thinking.

You know, I care about people. I don't care. I don't care about politics. I don't, it doesn't, it just, it's too much of an argumentative space. There's no, it's all, it all feels like a dirty show. You know, I, so what can we affect? What can we be a part of that feels good? Is I feel like it's each other.

You know, I'm tired. I don't need all the extra curriculars. You know, I'm just going to show up and just feed the ducks, man. You know, if Laura G. She wants to be a, you know, if she wants to be a large jeesh, that's fine. I'll be a small, I'm just going to try and be a small jeesh, man. You know, I'm going to check in with people that I love and people that I know care about me. I'm just going to try to keep it going.

But for me, man, I just, I don't want to be in the, I don't want to be in that hurricane. It just, I, I just noticed more, I don't know, man. I'm not trying to preach at you. I just, you know, when I look back on the past few months and I just feel like, oh, the, just all the stuff and the, the, the stuff online and the opinions I get. And then I get angry at this person. And then it's like, man, I'm angry. I'm getting upset with people and opinions and stuff of people that I care about.

You know, what's real here? So I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about. But I'm just glad I'm not a dang pedophile. I'm glad I'm not, you know, there's things to be grateful for. And we got each other and we trying something new. And I'm glad. I don't know.

I don't have to try it alone, man. I do. Two days ago, I'm sitting in here and I'm like, man, I'm never going to get this studio put together. I'm not going to be able to figure it out. You know, three days ago, I was just bomb, man. And now I'm sitting here, you know, I'm sitting here. We got a place.

They got fresh paint. You know, we got another human here, you know, sitting here working with, you know, people from different cultures, different worlds. And it's okay. You know, we just keep going, man. We keep going onward. I think that's it. Riley Mao, anything else you need to say, man?

No, I think this was a, this was great. I loved being here. Great to be here. I like your attitude, brother. I like your attitude, man. All right, let's roll out on some shine. The same way we rolled in, man. People say I'm tired of hearing it.

That's sometimes I'm tired of hearing it, but it's keeping me going. You know, I am excited about getting, I'm excited about getting. Some musicians, different musicians and introducing their music through the podcast, you know, different Nashville musicians and just trying to focus on that again, getting some new music and giving, you know, young artists a platform and, you know, I'm excited about that. You know, and it's sometimes we can't even be in the results of things. You know, we had, you know, the last episode solo episode, we try to reach out to some of the different single mothers and say, Hey, to them.

And we're going to, you know, it's taken a little bit, but we're going to send them some cards and do, you know, send a little gift to help out with just some of them being a part of doing fun stuff with their kids. And, you know, and, and we got just some feet, just kick back from it about, you know, one of the moms having only fans account, you know, and it just, you know, you just do what you can, you know, and it's even when you try to do something good, it's something that don't, or whatever, it just, you know, it's not always going to be perceived that way. Oh, well, you know, it just, you just try, you just try and you go again and you do something,

you just do what you can, you know, you just do what you can. I don't know why I'm not, I don't know why I'm really sharing that with you guys, but it just, I don't know, it just, you do what you can. There's no, I don't even know if you, if you ever win, you just do what you can. Everybody's just trying to survive. I really believe that everybody's just trying to survive and, and, and we do what we can, man, but I'm glad to be here today with you and, and I appreciate you being supportive of this podcast as we, as we expand and get this central East location.

We'll still be going back to LA. We're trying things out. We're trying something new and, and I'm trying to stay hopeful, man. And I'm not doing it alone. Thank you, Riley Mao for being in here today and being a true Japanese Hawaiian. Is that your culture? Correct. I'm from the J-Haws, man, beautiful people and, and thank you producer Nick Davis who

flew over here with his girlfriend and they came and helped out and, you know, it takes a village, huh? Right. Right. Exactly. You know, we can't do things alone, can we? Not at all. You always need someone to help.

Yeah. It's true, man. Sometimes I want to do things just alone. I get, I just get stuck that way, you know? Right. Same. Really? Mm-hmm.

But then whenever I do decide, okay, I'm going to do it with somebody else, I feel, end up feeling better. Right. It's a lot easier with someone else, whether you just need them, whether you need. Yeah. That's it, man. I'm glad you said that. All right.

You guys be good to yourselves, man. You deserve it. And we'll see you guys next time. Okay. I'm going to shine, to make sense of what I can, of where I'm going, of where I'll be. Shine that light on me, I'll sit and tell you my story. Shine on me, and I will find a song, I will sing it just for you. And I will find the words to help you make it through, if you call my name, I'll sing

this to you. Shine that light on me, I'll sit and tell you my story. Shine on me, and I will find a song, I will sing it just for you. Shine on me, and I will find a song, I will sing it just for you. Shine on me, and I will find a song. Shine on me, and I will find a song, I will sing it just for you.