This Past Weekend - E299 Adult Asthma

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

New Merchhttps://theovonstore.com This episode is brought to you:Zebra: https://thezebra.com/theoBetterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/theoMusic“Our Time" - Grady Spencer https://bit.ly/OurTime_GradySpencerHit the Hotline 985-664-9503Video Hotline for TheoUpload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find TheoWebsite: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovonFacebook: https://facebook.com/theovonFacebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovonYouTube: https://youtube.com/theovonClips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilwProducer Nickhttps://instagram.com/realnickdavis See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You know I was um I was looking at some drawings of Native Americans and you know I realized I couldn't even it's sad to admit but I couldn't even be Native American and no offense to anybody that's an NA no offense to you guys I love your work I've seen you know most of what I've seen is drawings but you know I love but I love y'all's work and I mean that you know I love all you know I respect Native Americans if I you know I was born too late in the world if I was born earlier I probably would have you know try to smooth things over a little bit better whenever you know you guys kind of had the fallen out with the with some of the whites to be honest I would have said hey hey hey you know let's figure this

out guys but I think both of you guys are high kind of high-tempered it seems like if I'm really honest if I look back and some of the drawings it seems you know excuse me a little belt or burp I don't know which one is which they're both disgusting I feel like air is just kind of just raping my throat every time it happens oh I hate that but um but yeah again I want to apologize to any you know I know we have some Native American listeners some NALs basically or something you know we knew what I'm talking about we have us we have some Native American listeners I have Native American in me okay I probably got half a pint okay I probably got half a pint I probably got six teaspoons of Chippewa

or something daddy's got it in them I can feel it sometimes in the middle of the night you know I'll hear something outside I'll hear something about 40 paces away and I don't use the term paces very often so well that's right then when I know that I say it is that's a very select ounce or two of me that's listening there and that's that Native American in me but yeah I want to apologize to Native Americans on behalf of kind of some of the way stuff went down you know it's uh it was just kind of a wild time I think and you know you can't win them all I guess you know I don't know what to how do we shake you know merge the past and the future so I don't know I don't even know what I'm talking about what was

I talking about I don't even know man oh my god dude I had what a week what a weekend what I mean what a my weekend was great it was my weekend was tough it was it was everything you know it was everything weekend it was like one of those bagels that have every you know everything on it it just looks like your spice rack just took a you know took some bread and just did a damn gang bang on it but um but yeah so you know what we do what we can uh and um yeah let's look look let's crack into the episode I think that's the way to do it and and I'll just share more you know just try and share about what's going on yeah you know I need help sometimes I need some help sometimes I need some help so you

know and and it's hard to say that it's hard to say that I need some help sometimes and sometimes I do let's get into this episode here we go you always are the one who keeps together you always are the one knows just what we need you always are the one who stays home with your baby you're gonna be the one who stays time now I've been working. body down to the bone I've been working out as I can just find some time time to get you all along we care we care going out on the city have Have a little whiskey and wine, baby you know I'm so pretty and I don't know how baby you're

this is our time and that right there that's Grady Spencer and the work and they're hitting you with that hot tune right there they're upgrading your ear stems right there with that hot tune Grady Spencer and the work our time is that song that listening piece and ah and we're here we're here we're here we're moving in it's October you know we're moving in and we're moving forward and you know I had a tough week man I you know I don't want to you know I've just had a tough I've just had a tough time recently and I don't like to you know it's hard for me sometimes with to not to to share how I feel and not sound like I am complaining or like I had or just having a lot of self pity and it's it's hard

for me to do you know it's hard you know I think it's become tougher sometimes on this podcast to talk sometimes about how I feel because I don't I don't want to I don't want to complain and I don't want to be seen as a complainer and you know it's you know it's interesting you know as my career is going on over the past few years and has gotten busier you know I start to feel like oh well nobody wants to hear what your problems are if they think that your life is good or that you you know here I am getting to live out my dreams and so to then still come back and have a have complaints have uncomfort that stuff I don't know it's just hard it's hard to share it's hard to it's scary it's scary

to share because I'm like well you know who's who nobody wants to listen to somebody complain that that has you know that has that's like living their dream it just doesn't so it's just been tough man I just have not been feeling that good I think especially about the past six or nine months and I try to talk about it sometimes but I don't know what's going on you know I don't know what's going on and so you know you just keep showing up and you know I had I just had a moment this past week and while I was gonna drink the other night I was gonna drink and you know I don't know if I have a drinking problem I know that I don't do well when once I get hold of cocaine I don't do super great you know I do not do

super great if I am doing cocaine so the other day you know I had to show up in New Jersey with Trevor Wallace and he's amazing and it was great in Francis Ellis beautiful fella tall fella too I mean tall white I mean if somebody did something to the Native Americans I'm gonna it was somebody he you know probably somebody he knew or in his gene pool you know if you drink up a half cup of out of his gene pool you could definitely taste a couple Native Americans you know losing their land I'll say that but one of the smartest and hardest working guys is Francis Ellis no shortcuts with that fella and and so beautiful to you know just to see him and spend time with him and and Trevor's and Trevor's you know I just

I respect both those guys so much and so I was I was happy to be out there with them and the first show was amazing it was one of my favorite shows ever out there in in New Jersey in the state of New Jersey up there in northeastern America and then the second show was it was it was good it just it was all over the place kind of you ever look for something you just can't find it was kind of like that a little and that's my perception as well you may have been sitting there and had a great time but but you know I like it to be just you know I'll always always wanted to be perfect for everybody and so anyway I think everybody did have a great time but but anyway there was just that's just kind

of how I felt about them but the day was just that day was just rough and I'd you know I'd been I went to the I went to the airport in the morning from Nashville and I flew to the wrong airport in in New York and I flew into LaGuardia and that's about an hour and a half away from the venue whereas Newark was about 40 minutes from the venue so just it would have been a lot easier so I flew into the wrong airport and I had to get an Uber so I took an Uber an hour and whatever it was hour and 40 minutes hour and 20 minutes it was a it was a ways and I was just stressed out man you know I just really you know I've been trying not to drink for a while and I just kind of decided in my head you know man I'm I'm gonna drink I'm gonna

drink when I get to this hotel I'm just gonna have myself a damn drink you know and I don't think and I've never been the kind of person to just drink and drink and drown I don't like that I don't like hell I don't like having to get up and go pee so I I don't want to have a bunch of drinks you know but the reason I don't drink is because I just get worried that then if I get approached with cocaine you know or that dust that Jack Jack then I'm gonna be out there son I'll be out in your garden you know I'll be out there and you're recycling been with a couple of raccoons baby doing dirty baby doing dirty works so that's where my mind kind of goes and but I just decided man you know I got this I got a hotel room at this place called Oyster

Point Hotel because they have the place is kind of it's a little bit of it's kind of shitty and I like that it's kind of nice though it's like shitty nice you know it's like that like you ever been to a funeral but they got like a thing of mints right by the coffin like a little snack bowl or whatever right by the car like a little oh yeah you know you know you know well you know Keith is dead but also you know have a minute that kind of place so I it just had that kind of vibe and anyway I get there and I thought in my head well the whole time I'm riding there I'm just furious in the guy oh the Uber driver kept telling me he had asthma and about his journey with asthma dude we got bigger fish to fry in the world right now than somebody having an

asthma journey bro maybe if you can't breathe well maybe God don't want you round yeah have you thought about that huh puff puff maybe if you can't take a hit off the world correctly maybe the Lord's looking for you so anyway an hour and a half a listen to you know captain fucking camp puff talk about his 65 years dude was 65 65 years of long issues and he had crosses hanging everywhere in the Uber he had I mean there was a cross there was there's a cross here you know at one point I reached behind my ear and I pulled out a cross like he had there was I don't know if this guy lives if he had a vampire as an ex-wife I don't know what's going on but the Lord I mean I guess the Lord was with us for sure it was an Uber pool because they had there's no way there

weren't a couple of straight-up disciples in the trunk so I'm riding with this dude captain asthma and and he kept pulling oh this was the worst part and I'm just thinking God and I made it up the black belt oh god I was in Taekwondo for many years as a teen okay well good so what I'm saying is this that so I've been thinking about obviously about drinking I was thinking about drinking I'm thinking okay when I get to this hotel they have a nice restaurant there that's one thing it's just I really love it place that have a nice restaurant nice place to eat you're sitting looking right out the water beautiful so you could be eating a fish and taste right where it came from you could be eating a fish right there having you a little bit of pond pond carp or whatever you know North

African pond carp or something you should gotten down some of that and you'll see its family member swim right up out of window and look at you just catch you with that one eye you know hey that's my dad you know and so I guess I kept romanticizing in my head okay I'm gonna sit there I'm gonna have me some food I'm gonna have me some drinks and I'm just gonna relax man and so you know anyway we go oh the guy kept having to pull over to breathe fresh air the guy kept having to pull over to breathe fresh air in New Jersey off the turnpike there ain't no fresh air there ain't no fresh air about a turnpike dude bring a bag of air from somewhere else fill up a balloon from damn Kansas or something and get that thing you know get that thing trucked in or trained in

huh so we pull over this is the second time we pull over to get fresh air in I'm not sure where it was some little town and a guy comes up to the car we stop it's literally like we have to stop for a minute and he will the first time he put his head out the window in the second time he got out of the vehicle to breathe this is this and I'm just I'm like it's already this is a $200 Uber and it was a small car okay it was small and some of you guys are thinking well Theo you know you've made some money why don't you get a nice get somebody to pay I agree but that's just not who I am I don't that's not I don't like to get I try to be thrifty you know that's just who I am I don't you know that's just who I am is just in my nature you know sometimes I don't

want to sometimes I don't want to give myself you know the creature comforts I don't want to take care of myself like that and I probably should because then I just get more stressed so anyway dude we're out there and a brother I'll be honest straight up brother urban brother whatever however you want to term it you know comes up and starts asking if we want to buy some drugs and the asthma guy the driver starts asking me like a kind of direction towards me like I don't fuck like what is going on here I don't think I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm paying to be on this shit this shitty adventure with frickin Billy bad lungs up here who can't handle the world and now I got to tell it I don't want any drugs and dudes start looking at two of the crosses

up there for sale like dog we ain't doing this shit right now like I'm just you know what y'all doing around here we're here because he this guy this guy wants some fucking this guy wants some fresh air by this railroad tracks and by these Walgreens that's why we're here that's why we're here and just nobody wants to believe you bro when you're out there like that so I'm just fear and I'm just like I can't wait to drink now I'm gonna drink gasoline I'm thinking about I'm thinking I'm done I'm gonna drink ethanol I'm gonna drink I am going to have someone else do a 2 2 3 4 5 8 balls a 40 ball I'm gonna have somebody do at least a 32 ball of cocaine that I'm gonna drink their blood that's where I'm at that's where I'm at I'm not doing super well

so we get rid old dude you know and and we hit the we hit the road and it's the last time and finally we get to the hotel and the lady says where are you coming from and I said I just flew in from Tennessee and she goes well unfortunately since you flew in through a high-risk state you you can't access any of our communal areas which means a restaurant and the gym she goes however we are gonna open the gym after midnight if you if you wanted to get into there and I'm like you know what that's not that's that's not a real moment but okay so anyway so now I'm just furious man because the one reason I wanted to stay at this place you know and it's expensive place it's 300 bucks a night you know when they got the toilet in there like the fraternity house

when the one with the silver handle out the side you know where you pull that little like it's like a straight handle like you can see the plumbing coming out of the back like it's a it was really nice 30 years ago but the nice thing there is the there's the restaurant and the staff too nothing about the people so anyway man so now I'm angry I'm angry man and I've been angry man I've been angry for months and I just I'm angry and I said well Kelsey you know that was her name I said Kelsey I wouldn't do that to you I said we'll catch you at least like you know she goes you can order room service and I was like but the reason I even picked this hotel was because I wanted to eat in the restaurant and I wanted to sit in there and have a drink

that's what I wanted I'd romanticize this I want to sit in there and I want to have a damn d r i n k okay and I just rode two hours with captain can't inhale over here this beleaguered senior citizen I don't I mean that guy there's no way that guy's still alive I mean this guy was on his last lung bro so anyway anyway she said I'm sorry you can't go in there you can we'll have food we can have food delivered to your room so I was upset and I went up to my room um and then I ordered food to my room I had like I had about 50 minutes till I had to be at the venue and I ordered the food in my room uh and I prayed man honestly I mean I just hit my knees and prayed I just said you know god I need some help man you know I'm just so angry and I don't

know why and um and I got in the shower and and uh and then the guy brought my food up and the drink I'd ordered jack and diet and it wasn't the drink really that I wanted but I just I don't know that's why that's what I ordered and and and there was something about the fact that I kind of romanticized the idea I'm gonna drink but I'm gonna drink down in this nice restaurant it's gonna be you know this look I'm gonna be able to look out at the water it's gonna be cool I'm gonna have the fish his family's gonna swim by it's gonna be kind of like one like a part of the godfather a little bit it's gonna be interesting and instead uh the fact that I couldn't have the drink there in that place like once it got to my room I just didn't want it and so I said well if I'm still feeling bad

later I'll have it and um and I eat my food and went to the shows and uh and that was that so I mean I only tell that story just because you know I'm trying not to drink and sometimes it's really hard and that was one that was just one of those times I mean and I don't talk about it that much on here I like to keep that kind of stuff sometimes separate because I don't want to have to like every week report on how I'm doing with being sober or feel like I have to uh you know because that's my own journey um but it was interesting that once it was interesting because then I got this perspective that oh well god's doing for me

what I can't do for myself because if that if they would have allowed me to go into that restaurant I wasn't even gonna put my bags in my room I was gonna go sit in there I hadn't eaten all day I was gonna go sit in there I had four cookies on the plane but I was gonna go sit in there and uh I think and now I just hear here's what I'm saying is I realized at that moment I was like oh I didn't that if I would if I if I would have been able to go in just right into the restaurant I wasn't gonna even take my bags to my room if I would have been able to go right to the restaurant I was just gonna go sit in there and order a drink and um and I just you know I'm just trying not to and I just I guess I want to tell that story just I don't know I think you know I think god was doing

for me what I can't do for myself you know he's he and and and at first it was made me so angry but then I'm like man if I would have if that restaurant would have allowed me in then I would have drank you know I would have drank and anyway I know it you know that doesn't matter to some people but when you're trying not to um and you just got so much anger built up and you don't even know why uh it just gets I don't know it gets heavy sometimes Alvin sir a good sound it just um yeah I don't know and so yeah the drink just sat there and it melted and and I don't know I'm not saying that I want that I'm not gonna drink sometime I don't know what I'm gonna do but I just got to get some help I just got to start feeling better and I'm not trying to

complain um but I just don't feel I don't feel good you know and I don't feel good and I want to I want to enjoy my life you know I want to be able to enjoy my life and be of service to other people and and I'm just having a tough time doing that right now because I don't feel great so I'm not trying to complain I'm not trying to have self pity I'm trying to take action uh you know I'm trying to see a new therapist um I'm looking at it getting a new sponsor uh through 12 step stuff and but yeah I don't know I just I just wanted to kind of tell some of that story and uh and then I want to let you guys know that it has been reported that Americans are overpaying on car insurance by over 21 billion dollars can you believe that I'm not

shocked actually car insurance is is expensive and uh man I mean it's expensive dude I've been in maybe four or five recs and mine is like two hundred dollars a month dude insane you know that's crazy I'd rather just keep that money no I shouldn't I know never mind that doesn't make any sense but but anyway when you're searching for a better deal it can take hours and typically results in a barrage of unwanted spam calls that's the worst you know you you fell out of form and next you know you're getting a thousand calls and people hitting you up until now the zebra dot com the zebra is the nation's leading car insurance comparison site because it's the only place you can compare quotes side by side from over 100 providers and choose the best for you in 90 seconds

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com slash the o support the podcast i'll also let you know that today's episode is brought to you by better help better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist and it's probably something i need right now you know it probably wouldn't even be a bad idea for me to use better help um and maybe i will you know maybe i will you know i'm actually going to uh try an appointment with a therapist that i've had before um and uh and then looking uh if that's not what i'm feeling then maybe looking to get a new one but i i just have to take action you know that's what i have to do and i'm not ashamed to admit it man i want to be i want to i want to enjoy my life you know you know i'm living out some of my dreams and i'm not

and i'm not enjoying it and i'm just not enjoying me i'm not enjoying being human and i think that there's more out there for me uh so better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist you can start communicating in under 24 hours now it's not a crisis line okay it's self-help now it's not a crisis line okay it's not self-help it's professional counseling done securely online you know if you live in an area where the counselor maybe also does the snow cones so you can't you go over there and you say hey you know let me get a medium grape and also you know i've been jerking off and i you know you know before work and they're like well you know maybe they don't you know they say well

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over half a million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional special offer for tpw listeners get 10 off with your first month at betterhelp.com slash Theo that's betterhelp.com slash Theo um yeah a good intro song there by grady spencer and the work from their album celebrate and that song is called our time but yeah i just haven't been feeling good you know i just have been feeling a lot of stress and i don't know and i just been feeling angry and and i almost you know i don't almost don't want to say that i almost don't you know i don't because i'm scared i guess

i'm scared of what people are gonna think i'm scared of what you're gonna think but i don't feel that great and i don't feel that great enough of the time where it's a you know it's a recur it's a it's something that i have to just i got to do more you know so so i'm i'm gonna try i mean i did some things today you know i went for a run in the middle of the day i didn't want to but i did it um i'm getting my blood work done just check to make sure that everything's okay inside of me to make sure you know just staying on top of that um you know i'm gonna go to an AA meeting later today and just uh i spoke to some uh you know 12 step friends on the phone and and i think some of it is just too much of me you know a lot of my

life has you know um you know i think some something that will help me is doing stuff for other people so i need to try and lean into that a little bit more um but i'm just tired i feel every day like i'm fighting something and i don't know what it is this and i feel every day like i'm like like i'm just constantly just pushing trying to i don't even know what i'm pushing or what i'm pushing against um uh i'm trying to explain it but that's why i'm trying to like feel it and share it at the same time um and i'm not trying to have self pity on myself i'm trying to be active you know i used to get bummed out for years and i would just lay lay in bed man be be sad and sleep

definitely helps um but i can't do that forever you know i have to take action in my life i have friends and people that need me and and i want to be healthy so i can you know i feel like i feel like god wants me to be able to be a part of helping people or being a part of people's lives you know i want to be a part of that river of like comfort in the world and river of like healthiness and stuff and and i just can't be a part of it if i'm not feeling good myself so so anyway i'm not gonna try and dwell on it too much but it was just amazing that man i wanted that drink man and that just the simple thing that that lady said the restaurant is not open to you and i and i was so angry but really that was a higher power saying hey

you know let me do for you what you can't do for yourself right now and i and i did feel like that was pretty powerful um so oh but yeah i talked a little bit uh here let's get in here let's take a call or two here we go let me shut up i just feel sometimes on this podcast even i feel so bad just talking all the time because it's always me you know um it's always me hey feel this is johnny from uh new jersey baby what's up johnny from jersey baby and no no no relation to jersey mics over there and they got the sweaty meat they got the meat that seemed glossy on the outside like somebody you know parked a 84 Chevrolet over to meet for half an hour and left it running

and now it's got that slick look on it gang um just let your show it was a great time um i think you're doing good making people laugh during these hard rough times um i just want to say keep it up when we all support you here we had a blast over there we were crying laughing and uh we'll always uh support you brother so gang gang gang man thank you dude that was real timely and i appreciate it man yeah i think sometimes i just put all this pressure maybe on myself i don't know like if if i don't do something right the right way that that people aren't gonna care anymore and so then it makes me kind of i think afraid to like do anything

you know if i'm not the right amount of funny or the right amount of serious or the right i just you know i put this impossible and i don't even know if i do it consciously that's the thing it's not like choices i'm making it's like you know i think probably when i was young i felt like if i didn't behave a certain way that people weren't going to care about me that like the care that i received from people was directly correlated to how i behaved and i was only going to be cared about out if i behaved in exact way

and i could never figure out what that way was so i think you know sometimes probably in my life that's why you know i've always probably a lot of me has been searching you know this searching for some how do i crack this code how do i get this how do i lot what numbers you have to line up correctly to get the care that i need you know but yeah i think you know and i was never good at saying when i needed help i was never good at saying hey i need help you know i and it's so funny because even as a child you know i was allowed man i was always saying something but it was all like

it was all just hot air man the thing i needed to say was just that i need i need i need some help you know i need somebody i need to feel that somebody cares about me you know that's what i needed it when i was young um but i had that emotional asthma man when you think about i had that emotional asthma i just because i just didn't know i just didn't know i didn't know what was going on and i'm not trying to sound whiny you know i know i keep saying that but i'm not like you know oh man i don't know what's nothing's ever gonna be good i i'm not i'm not feeling that way i'm just trying to feel what feelings are inside of me so i can so i can take some action

and some days man i just it's hard to be funny sometimes some days it's hard to just it's hard man it's just like i got in here today and i was like fuck what am i gonna do you know but then i get this voicemail right here um i just want to say keep it up when we all support you here we had a blast over there we were crying laughing and uh we'll always uh support you brother so gang gang you know and that changes the script in me because then then i hear oh we'll always support you you know we'll always support you um and it's just something you know i think it's something that you you got to tell your kids when they're young is that you know that just that you

love them no matter what they're doing no matter what like no matter what because i always felt like everything every next step of my comfort was dependent upon how i was behaving at that second at that moment it was all so dependent upon like how whenever my mom got home how was she feeling you know it didn't matter how i was feeling however she was feeling then that's how the night was gonna go you know a lot of there just wasn't room for my feelings um and so a lot of times i think when i was young others didn't have them and so then that's why i have more of them now sometimes because i think

you know feelings are they're patient they're real real patient but at some point they trying to leave the bus station so i think some of them they just i have them later on and i have them now and yeah i don't know i'm just trying to think out loud and you know because a lot of people have said to me over the years you know you know Theo i like when you share what's going on with you because sometimes you say stuff that i can feel and uh and you guys do it to me you know like this guy right here hard rough times um i just want to say keep it up and we all support you here we had a blast over there we were crying laughing and uh we'll always uh support you brother so gang game

yes you know it's just we got a good group of support here and i think it's cool man but um um thank you again for the nice message man i really yeah and i'm yeah i don't i don't know why you know this episode just whatever it is man i'm tired i'm just fucking tired i'm tired of having to like uh sometimes not just be able to be how i want to be and i know that you guys didn't make it that way i know that sometimes i've made it that way in my own head i know that sometimes just the past like you know life this workout busier the past year and a half um you know i was sitting yesterday talking to somebody and telling them i went to tour in europe and man i hardly have any recollection of it like that's you know i hardly have it just things were just just things

just fast just fast just you know just a lot um and it's a blessing i'm that's not what i'm saying i'm just saying that uh that for a guy like me that feels a lot of stuff it's a lot it's a lot sometimes um but the best part man i will say the best part it was such a gift man when i showed up over to the show i did i didn't drink i felt so good about myself i said man how do i don't know how you did it you know when i called a friend when i was in the car and i even told him on the way there i said hey man this if this uber driver gets back in the car soon or if he doesn't i don't know but i'm i'm drinking you know and he sent me a link to some video and it was some i don't even know some damn baseball thing i don't know it was the worst thing ever but but just the

fact that i broke up that that the thought in my head it just kind of gave weakened that power and then i got to the place and they said oh we can't go in a nice restaurant you got to eat up in your room by the fraternity toilet so damn i mean that even this shit but the place was old bro they had old shows on television like what the fuck dog dude i turned on golden girls a couple all all of them were still alive on the show that's how i this thing was old um there was a george bush senior advertise like vote for george bush senior one of the commercials like this everything in there was old it was and i was angry but that place has an amazing restaurant and i got up to my room and here was the crazy part that my room wasn't even facing like the

water it was just facing like the parking lot and i'm like uh if this good thing it's only four store i jump out the damn window right now good thing it's only four stories and that's concrete looks i could handle that it was not concrete it was uh asphalt i could live off four stories in asphalt i'll live you can ask any gypsy that i'll live there dude kush gur but if i go four stories on the concrete i i'm probably not gonna i'm not surviving oh shout out to the dude too that came out to the late show in the wheelchair man and he had in enable legs his legs was enabled by a um dirt bike a dirt bike and just did him dirty and man he had such a great attitude man it he had such a great attitude man i really i just i really i you know almost wanted to just cut off

one of my damn legs and give it to him and then me and him could just three-legged race around the world together no homo bro you feel me dog you stay on your side of the leg i'll stay on my side of the leg at night but but anyway i guess you couldn't do i guess if you gave yes somebody a leg but then i don't know how but anyway yeah no homo dude 100 bro but also dude yeah you know but if somebody is gay then also yes homo i don't want anybody to think that i'm not you know being cool to gay people or anything so no homo and yes homo dog gang of shit um what else here's someone else that came that came out to the show let's take a couple of show calls hey what's up the uh this is Steve i'm at you currently from the highway in minnesota

virginia what's up steve out there on the road baby and i've driven out on the road now i like to get me a little bit of caramel corn when i'm out there driving or riding brother onward oh yeah we was out there about a dog track and a lot you know you could smell oh dude you could smell a damn doxin from the stage man you could hear the dog track over there people betting on a dog and and losing a there's nothing sadder than somebody gambling on a damn dog track because the information at least if it's a horse you can get some information you can get a little bit intel on them but a damn you know somebody gots you know a wimer on her you know somebody gots a rottweiler shit zoom mix out there and it's supposed to run in the seventh race

you know what i'm saying but it hasn't had lunch like you just get weird like oh yeah you know peaky blinder or whatever the dog's name is or something you know he hadn't had lunch and that's the kind of intel you get and you're still supposed to lay 20 30 on a damn dog you know i took a date out to the dog track over there in Tucson arizona one time out there and she hated me that lady that lady hated me she was an older lady and i thought well what does the older lady want to do probably something you know advanced you know so i thought gambling and i took her out there and bet on the dog bet six dollars on this dog you know nine dollars on that one trying to show out a little and i bet nine and both them bitches lost and then that

bitch left so you got to take women where they care or to good stuff but anyway sorry i making this about me omber steve dad i missed the show couldn't go i've been trying to see you for a couple years now but uh i'm in the marine corps so uh you know duty calls can't be around but man i bet you probably had a great show trying to see you at some point this year hopefully even with all this covid stuff going on but you know i've been going through tough times and relationships and stuff and starting on my career but i mean your stuff on this past weekend and came to sing that stuff keeps me going man makes me laugh and like i said can't wait to see you on the show sometime definitely excited for next special or something thanks man thanks dude that's sweet of you to

say that man i can and i can feel that you know i can feel you being genuine and uh and yeah thank you you know and we do have a new special you know we're signing a deal with netflix and it's just paperwork now and um and to do a special and so that'll be great for that to come out steve so you'll be able to see it and share that with your uh um your semper fi uh fellas out there and uh and you know i think that's pretty cool man to be in the military i think there's one thing i admired when i used to go do some military tours and i hope to do some again was just the camaraderie you get to have to be in a group of people and to be able to just joke around and you know i know it's grueling a lot of the hours you guys have and i know you're not where your desired location a lot of times but

you know it's so often so rare sorry in life that i find you get to have a group of people around to enjoy one another especially right now um so man i'm really i'm i'm envious in a lot of ways of just you be able to have that brotherhood and just people are just you get to enjoy people that's that's a delicacy right now a lot of people are can enjoy people a lot of people can't you know people still can't go see their grandparents or there's fear around it um um but but be well man and thank you for the warm message man and uh and enjoy that enjoy each other you know enjoy it man that's such a it's going to be prehistoric human being spending time with each other the way that we're so addicted to electronica now um let's take another call onward

hey Theo it's um there from Trenton New Jersey so i just got home from your show i went to the seven o'clock show hey bear and thank you for calling and that's a unique name for a woman but that's how they do it in the northeast you know you got more people from britain more people you know you got that native american meets kind of you know kind of defeated by the white kind of vibe up there so you'll have a kid named bear you love a kid named uh you know river branch or whatever um you know fire you know fire you love a kid named fire like damn where's fire dude i don't know he's got the we you know i so they got you know you'll have unique names go on bear down there in ocean port in jersey and man it was a great great great

time and i really needed it because i just didn't go through a really match where i went through a breakup and i went through drinking way too much and now i'm sober and i'm only not depressed but besides that it was great except there was this bitch and she just kept screaming for no reason and then the last 15 minutes of your set she just talked shit about how she was on your podcast before now i was on his podcast before anyway i was and everyone just wanted her to shut the fuck up so but besides that you were great and me and my friends we had a great time and i really appreciate it and love you man love you too thank you very much for that for the nice message and i think there was one lady up at the front that was too loud

and she might have been doing drugs i don't know and she had big titties too i'll be honest with you two of them and she had the big old titties man look like each one of her titties have been drinking beer it looked like each one of her titties could have been on a bowling team in the 90s you know she had the big old she had them long branches if you will baby uh and she was loud i think a lot of times a tittie will hold a lot of volume you know so sometimes if you see somebody with a big tittied woman they'll have earmuffs on or something but yeah next time i'll do a little bit better job it's hard for me to gauge here's the hard thing to gauge from the stage if somebody is a heckler or somebody is being obtuse are they enjoying themselves or are they trying to be seen

that's the tough part because some lady the other night up front laughed like uh laughed had a really really really weird laugh and i don't know honestly how to handle that don't honestly i don't honestly so it's tough you know it's tough to know what is a good sound and what isn't a good sound alvin sir a good sound it's tough it's you just have to but if it gets a little too much that's when i say something and also the staff is supposed to do something but you also don't want to like interrupt the jokes the second show there was a drunk guy who was not he was he needs to be sober you're probably you sound okay that guy probably needs

to tighten it up because he just was the show he made it about him but maybe not who knows man but thank you for the warm message you know and that's the thing it's just like sometimes i don't want to drink because i want to be able to be there for somebody if they're having a tough time or something i don't i want to be able to say hey man i'm here and i'm available and i'm so i'm i'm of right mind right now so i can be a part of i don't know i just feel like it's hard for my higher power to use me if i am all fucked up on that gas or whatever but that's just me some people can do a bunch of coke you know and raise a family i'm reading the my pillow guys book right now don't that dude smoking crack and making pillows so if that ain't i mean that sounds like community

college so there's ways to do it is what i'm saying but but i'm glad y'all came and i'm glad you left and i'll tell you this that first show i'll put this on anything it might have been the best show i've ever had man it just you know sometimes i just feel and that's the crazy part i don't feel bad all it sometimes i just feel great but this impending feeling that's what i want to get out of me you know um and i want to let you know too man um that we recently got the website redone theovon.com and you can check it out and and uh and i'm sorry for just talking about myself a lot on this episode i really am you know uh but that you know you know i you know it's funny because sometimes i just have uh i don't know i think sometimes i have i still have all these these

things inside me like i want to say you know but i just can't i just don't know what they are i got this feeling sometimes like there's like i want to say things in my throat and i just don't know what they are um and sometimes i i think man well you're just going to keep talking till you figure it out you know and it's not gay stuff either some people send me messages hey fella look at this weiner look at this thigh thigh weiner nut weiner nut nut and gay men need to quit doing that a lot of gay men sliding in there and in the DMs hey hey hey you want to check out this weiner how heavy is your weiner some guy asked me how heavy is your weiner get it together man okay a lot of gay men take advantage of the loophole of being gay to make it that they can then be gross

towards straight men and that is too much man send me a message how heavy is your weiner i'm not scaling my weiner man and i'm not telling you sir okay buddy it's you're being nasty so anyway i just i have to say that but what i'm telling you is we got the website redone theovon.com and who did it was a company called Modify just finished the new site the process no joke was effortless that's what i like the turnaround was swift i don't have to do anything it was almost like magic it was almost like too good to be true Modify has a new plan that rivals any other option on the web market they provide a subscription based professional web design service for the cost of your old cable bill that's right for just $249 a month you will

enjoy the relief of creating your new website easy process quick turnaround and an evergreen site and the convenience of having a personal web design team assigned to your account to handle all of your ongoing website needs Modify's plan includes unlimited updates unlimited support easy editing tools and and future redesigns no cost to build no contract and they do it all for you only $249 a month get yours today at ModifyModipy.com slash Theo that's Modify there's no f in Modify these guys don't f around you feel me gang Modify change is good what else can i tell you about man um you know and i gotta recognize too you know a lot of people are having are feeling you know rough it's a it's a it's a rough time there is a lot of you know we

don't have the regular things i was talking to Maurice Claret the other day and man i really really admire that guy he has so much solution in his in his brain and in his heart and and uh uh and and he was saying you know one of the reason people are all so antsy right now he thinks because nobody has anything to do there's no sports to watch there's no outlet the only teams that have been playing this whole time have been political so everybody's getting on one or the other um so it's just it's interesting and i thought about that people have become more fans of politics you know we've become more fan it's become without other sports and other things politics has become the thing to be a fan of

you know i like this quarterback i like this quarterback oh the backup quarterbacks you know is racist the black the the black up quarterbacks racist you know it just there's all it just there's people are becoming fans of politics and become an activist that's one thing i'm just dude we've all i feel i feel like we've all become such such addicts to all of this junk that is then making us be angry about stuff that i don't know if we're really angry about i know that we are concerned about things i know that we have views about things but i don't know if we're really angry about things so i really question the the the side effect of just all the snippets and all the information

in the constant barrage of information and the effect that has on us you know it's just because you start to wonder well everybody like so many people are activists and they're like what's going on like i get being activated but at some point it's just we're i feel like we're being taken advantage of you know at some point we feel a little bit used by all of the this the median all the hype and a lot of it's like panic porn you know my brother's friend coined that phrase and i don't know his last name it's i think he's a latino fella but panic porn where you just everybody's getting high some we're getting some some some dopamine hit in our brain by getting off on all of this uh

this political and social jack jack i mean i made it up to black belt dang dude i'm not sure i don't think so i don't think so i don't think so i don't honestly you know it's uh uh i mean what riley malis say he don't know that's what he would say bro so you got to think about that sometimes or don't think about it and those are the options but yeah just i just start to wonder well if i'm more stressed out than usual if there's more what's going on what's causing me to feel this way um so let's hear uh another call or two that came in here we go hey see you riley this is way i'm from ohio um but i live in a little town called wheeling west virginia oh yeah that wheeling feeling baby and i got offered sex by aunt and a niece one time over

there adults both both the mad adults adult sex offer gang and i know we've both had that wheeling feeling and yep and that's pink eye also and um it's a dangerous thing you know if you if you hold on to that feeling for too long you're gonna end up doing some methamphetamines in the back of a 7-eleven amen baby hey that's the guarantee maybe get maybe get an f-tv by the slurping machine but um i just wanted to call in say i'm a huge fan um you make my day a little better every day i'm a coal miner and i don't know that you've had any coal miners call in but um i wanted to say that uh it's a tough job it's a rewarding job um i just wanted to say um if there's any questions about coal mining please reach out i'm a huge fan of the

show thank you thank you for everything thank you brother i appreciate it and maybe we do have maybe we do have a question or two about coal mining and if i think of what they are i'll let you know but right there you got to think about that somebody going in the earth and getting something out of the earth helping it out and that's really you know i'm not trying to be racial here but that man goes into the earth and gets something black and helps it out of the earth so that's pretty cool that's pretty helpful um you know it's uh it's just pretty cool to see that you go down there and you come up with a bucket of black a couple of positive a bucket of positive black black activity you know that coal baby and i love a coal i love a briquette

and we actually had a black kid at our school when i was growing up uh briquette lawson and he was beautiful actually he could have been a male model actually but he he just was he didn't he just he wasn't doing all that shit man he didn't like a lot of shit like that he liked more this regular shit mcdonald's and shit um let's take another call here we go hey deal this is coal from texas what and that guy's name is cold that's baffling uh that was totally unplanned there you go and right there that's you see that wet that wicked web this this out there onward brother thank you coal name after a briquette i'm just calling to see if i can maybe give you a little encouragement i'm kind of in the same boat as you are i just moved to

pursue a new career and uh it it's kind of nerve-wracking really you know i don't really know anybody here and i'm just trying to get into the group of things in this new uh foreign environment but i hope you are doing well in your new environment and then you and your new buddy riley mile are doing all right alfonsara good sound can't say i have i've not well actually what is northeast arkansas like what cities i mean you know i'm a christian eagle scout i mean you know i'm a christian i don't scout well you know um thank you for that man you know it is i just i have to remember that because i wake up each day and there's part there's a question in my head like why isn't everything perfect you know there's a and i'm not even asking the question there's

some invisible thing in my head every day that's asking this question why isn't everything perfect why don't why isn't this done why isn't this done why isn't this done did you do this do you do this do you and it just and it's like i don't even hear it but i still it's like i it's like it was asked to me decades ago and it's still echoes so i think always when i wake up i immediately just feel like oh there's so much i haven't done there's so much i have to do there's not it's um so i gotta recognize i gotta you know i gotta recognize hey that that that that voice is not real and while that voice will serve me well sometimes to get to go and do some things for myself and

get me motivated at some point that that voice is just yeah it's just it's just bothering me because it's not gonna give me any peace um but man i'm sorry that you're struggling with it man you know some things i did do to stay to stay busy i joined the MMA gym i now have four bruised ribs some guy named alex or alexis or something i don't know what his name was oh my god dude this guy he might have eaten two of my ribs do when i wasn't looking this guy did me he did me up um so that is a lot of pain uh i went and saw tim dillon perform two times um so that was really great i'm just trying to get some new some some guests onto the podcast trying to get morgan wallin to

come in i'm a fan of his music he's a musician musical man uh we have a trucker next week coming in female trucker of vad vad vad trucker a lot of people will call it beautiful lady decent lady so yeah so just just you know thanks for thinking about me man you know and i'm thinking about you brother and i wish you well in that new environment and just yeah it's so funny man it's like i can offer you suggestion but i it's like i can't hear it for myself isn't that so crazy it's fascinating man this thing that we're part of um all right let's hear another call that came in here uh and sorry to just keep going to calls but but i just you know i want to get some of you i just i'm just tired of listening to myself sometimes

here we go hey bio uh my name is chance i'm from albuquerque new mexico and uh i'm currently about to i'm driving through amarillo texas right now i'm headed over to a bentonville arkansas for for a new job for now bentonville arkansas home of the largest walmart and first walmart ever so if you think about walmart think about bentonville onward for a sales job um and i'm just kind of taking this huge leap of faith i'm listening to some of your podcast and um i just got the the urge to hit the hotline you know i'm feeling a lot of feelings right now um and uh you know one of them is that's really strong it's just uh just hope and hope for a better life hope for you know uh to be successful you know i said i'm 23 and i and i haven't done

much with my life but i just got got sober about almost three years ago so my life has just been getting so big and um you know i don't know maybe if you have any advice for me you know starting something new i know that you've traveled you know you made a big change traveling over to california um and now you just made another travel you know down there to uh well thanks for the call man and not to cut you off uh but but i did but um but yeah i uh uh you know i think what you're doing the the the long term of it is you can't see it now but in the future you'll see wow just by making big by making moves it may it allows you to be less inhibited when you need to make other moves

so in the future when an opportunity comes up and that and it you know another move or an opportunity to take a leap of faith and love or a leap of faith in in friendship or in a different realm even uh besides employment that the experience you have had right now you know that'll resonate within those other fields and so you might you won't even know you're like oh wow i took a leap of faith here i took a leap of faith there um you know hell you can become a damn long jumper of faith if you leap enough man um and that sounds like what you're doing so 23 you're trying a new city and that's a lot man you know and i need to be patient with myself you know i get i get at home and i it gets late and you know just i get you know i'm the place is a mess and

it's not even my place i'm just renting it and sometimes things just feel like heavy man man i just need to get some help i need it when i need help if i need a therapist if i need a a house cleaner if i need a an assistant if i need i just have to get i gotta ask for what i need you know i never you know i was talking to my brother today and man i never really asked for what i need i never say hey this is what i need i don't say it in relationships i don't say it in friendships i don't put down those hey look this is what i need because i don't want to be i don't want to you know i don't i don't want to step on any time i don't want to but it's funny i just won't put any you know hey this this is what i need

you know i need sometimes i need someone to listen to me and not even tell me anything you know the other day i was talking to my brother and i was just telling him i've been having a tough time and just you know and i'm lucky my brother's worked in like u therapy and stuff like that and um and at the end of the call he said hey man i'll just if you want i'll just sit on the line with you for a little bit and and not say anything and at first i was like nah man i'm all right you know and when i said all right i could feel something in my voice like i felt like i wasn't all right and he said it again he said no he said look i'm i'm happy to just sit here you know you don't have to say anything and i don't have to say anything um and i'll just be here with

you if you if you need you know i can just be here with you and man i started bawling like literally uncontrollable like a dragon flew out of my fucking soul because i think never in my life had anybody just said hey i'm just i'll be here with you i'm not gonna give you any suggests i'm not gonna give you any i'm not gonna give you any i'm just i'm just gonna be here for you if you need me and it was powerful man it was and i i just i had no idea in my whole life that i how much i needed that just even a month i mean it was you know and then i you know i was like kind of sobbing and it's some you know some of this no homo bruh some of the shit's kind of you know it's tough

to say i'm not trying to sound like a little bitch but i'm trying to sound like i don't get whatever dog if you're still listening bro you part you you part bitch the same as i am son you're probably about 11 bitch you feel me but um and then i was like oh thanks man i'm you know i'm good i kind of got my composure and then he said are you sure and i you know a lot i just say yeah i'm good you know and i wasn't good i didn't feel i just and he goes oh i can still you know he said i have like 10 minutes i can just sit here with you and man i just fell apart again you know i just i don't know i think it just in just such a world of so much sound and so much constant

constant constant just like to for somebody to say that they had 10 minutes where they could just be there with me man it was it was real powerful because i think he was speaking to that kid in me to that child you know that young fellow who's just you know hey i can sit here with you without any judgment without any concern without it not concern with with just concern you know with just time you know i can sit here and just just and just you just know the only thing you need to know is that i'm here for you no matter what

and it was just powerful man yeah um so the hotline as always is 985-664-9503 i'll be back in what riley mal maybe next week we got that female trucker coming in i'm excited about that um we're also looking for a uh if you know somebody who's who is a unique um death person uh death like a lifeguard but at a funeral you know i'm talking about like a um

more margit margit what is it a margitian a margitian no no somebody that like you know hey hey hey you know here's the body you know that guy uh like howie mandel but for like death a mortician if you know somebody of a uh a mortician do you not at all if you know somebody that is that is a decent or a unique mortician and we would like to speak with them um you can email us i think through the website or hit up uh the real nick davis and you can uh let him know preferably around nashville or los angeles or within a flight distance you know somewhere close um but all right one last call it came in here we go i feel i'll just finish eating a mcdonald's breakfast griddle bacon sandwich

oh dang so you're living high on the hog today literally onward little mama and i really liked them i started eating them after i heard a show on howard star and now it's one of my favorite things to get in mcdonald's unfortunately you can't get it after 10 30 a.m so my next favorite thing at mcdonald's is to play a fish but i always want lettuce and onions on that sandwich um so my question is what's your favorite fast food spot well i can't i ma'am i love you hey i'm gonna tell you that straight up and i'm here for you and i won't say anything but i do have to i can't handle if you can't eat a damn filet of fish at a mcdonald's you can't eat a filet of fish at a mcdonald's mama that ain't even fish in there you know that's trans oyster or something they're using or

you know they're not using fish meat that ain't damn fish meat uh you know they're you know that's something else they're doing something nasty nasty you can't be having a you know i can't if i'm trying to talk to a lady and she have a bite of filet of fish on her lip come on you kid your children can't even love you if you're sitting around with a bite of filet of fish on your mouth on your breath who do you love people can't love you if you're eating filet of fishes lady they can't love you and they can but it's just it's gonna be harder it's so hard to level one when you see her with it you know you go in her car and she gots a couple you know you open up to get the glove compartment thing to get a lozens or something for her and a damn filet

of fish wrapper freaking rolls out like a dang tumbleweed just it's hard to love somebody that's on them filet of fishes baby you know that and if you don't you get then you know it now um okay i think we got it we had some calls that came in about riley mal but we'll we'll we'll get to him next week you know we just had him here this week just in spirits you know i'm a christian you go i don't um you know and he's a talented man um so we'll figure it out we'll figure it out we don't have to figure it all out today that's what i got to remind myself is we don't have to figure it all out today and we don't have to figure it all out alone and you know i feel a little bit better than when this than when this episode started

you know i'm gonna even see if my dank therapist emailed me back i'll check right now nope not yet but there's an AA meeting in five minutes online that i can jump in and as much as i don't want to i want to go do something else i want to do i want to you know do my bookie bet on a night game i want to do this i want to do that you know it's probably what i need to do for myself you know i got to get active in taking care of how i feel instead of just just being reactive to it all the time you know if i'm gonna feel this much as i do i'm i i deserve to have some control over it

so anyway thank you guys for coming out there in new jersey both shows were great i just felt like the early one was more tame the second one people was drunk people was out there drinking each other's blood you know somebody's out there they had a some guy came out with a uh uh you know we had another guy that came out i guess he had a fake hand or something he'd lost a hand you know he'd lost a hand he uh you know some guy he was maybe he was you know throwing dice you know in mowing the yard at the same time and you know and he caught a blade uh but they left he left his hand there some guy so that's wild

you know you go home and you can't even you know i guess he drove home we're just with you know instead of ten and two just ten maybe just locked in at ten or something unless he just taped his arm to the wheel on the other side at two but that's you know some guy woke up he don't know where his hand is at you know and they got a bucket of beers five empty beers and a damn cold hand in there so if that's you man call uh blue grotto blu grot to over there about a dog part and you guys too i want to say shout out to uh to joey d as and his new podcast you guys got to go check it out it's just starting up uncle joey's joint

and it's uh you know i watch some of it and it made me feel good to just kind of share what was going on you know sometimes i like to be entertaining and sometimes i just i just want to be and um and i know you guys don't you know i just it gets in my head as to what's going on but uh but you guys have always been there for me man and i and i just appreciate it you know and i love you and um and i love the groupie you know i got to meet some of you here and there out in jersey a couple quick groups and this and that and man i was walking you know so i was so happy that i didn't drink like because i just because i try not to i'm not saying anything bad if you look if you're doing some good coke i'll hold the back of your neck you know while you do it

bro you know i'm saying i'll feel your tits while you do a little coke that's who i am bro even if you a man bro if you a strong man but um but i'm walking from the from the venue they had a like a bouncer guy that would walk you to the back of the stage and he we just started talking he's like yeah man i got 23 year sobriety i was like damn and it was just exciting you know and he said his dad had a couple years of sobriety and and it was just nice because in that moment i was you know i was telling my line whatever my line was you know and i was it was just like oh okay good i'm glad i'm here for this just to be here with this moment because then i could connect with them i said oh man i'm i have six months and i almost drank today and i'm just man it's just

really hard right now and so yeah in that moment there was somebody i could tell that too uh because you go just wrap to a random stranger at the show and then you tell him that well actually a lot of the people that come to our show is pretty good but he might be like oh dude oh what where's uh have you seen my hand like no you lost your hand dude that's crazy fucking you're only gonna be able to hitchhike in one direction now dude um let's go out the way we came in man naked and feet first no uh let's go out the way we came in this is spencer sorry see it's been one of them weeks when we both want to cry it sounds good

i've been working my fingers down to the blood he makes i've been working my city down to the bone but i've been working as hard as i can just find some time to get you all alone so we can we can we go and out on the city have a little whiskey and wine be your oh my this is our time my baby my you're my lover too you're my baby my you don't want nobody but you we can we can we go and out on the city have a little whiskey come on let's go baby i'm taking you out baby you know you're so pretty

you're so pretty baby i don't have a plan b i don't need a plan b you my baby that is grady spencer and the work if you're taking your lady out play that song for him on the way out when you're leaving the house you're getting ready put that on put that on for him this is our time you know you're gonna enjoy it i know some couples came out and and sat at the tables the other night it was cold at that second show too and uh and just thank you guys man just thank you for being a part of my life man and let me be a part of yours and i'm excited about where we're heading uh and i'm just trying to take care of myself while we get there baby gang