This Past Weekend - E300 Fence Rabbits

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

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We had a female trucker that canceled couldn't make it in here And you know, that's just the way it is sometimes out there on the road You know, that's why the road comes in different patterns. You know, you can get a interstate Keeps going you get an intersection Meets up with something you get cul-de-sac You get dead in You get um

Other roads So Trucker canceled so, you know the podcast is going well when a Female trucker cancels on it Gasoline females, you know, just ladies out there burning gasoline 18-wheeler bitches, you know what I'm saying legitimate women Um What else happened I got rejected by a woman, I don't know if well not even the trucker I didn't think about that but um a I hit on a woman and got rejected

I'll tell you what happened. So You know, I went to this place out here And we're coming out to you live right now from the central east out here and and and I went to a locale here local shop and it's all crepes crepery and I don't know what a crepe is, but I didn't care once I saw this lady working there. I said, alright, you know I'll eat them until you know, she and I are married if I have to They had a girl in there and I saw her and you know, I made some small talk and it was It was awkward because we both had masks on, you know

Having a mask on It's kind of like the beginning of like Shrek or whatever You know, because you don't know how anybody really You're not getting the full package. You're just kind of getting that Japanese package of somebody You know kind of snout up or mid snout upwards You know, you're kind of getting that You know like everybody's kind of a desert nine, you know when they got that Middle Eastern You know a lot of Middle Eastern women they wear the

Kind of that word yarmulke, whatever it is that that muffler, you know, they wear that front muffler. You can't see them. I Was in Saudi Arabia one time at the airport and they had a man there and Fat fella, I'll be honest with you really was and I had if I could think of another word to describe and I would use it But I cannot and this was this man was what you would call a fat fella and He had about five women with him all of his wives and they all had on that You know just that little Kind of they're all wearing like a what's behind door number one kind of curtain right on their face, you know, you can't see them all So that's called that desert nine, you know or that desert eight everybody's kind of a desert nine when you can only see the eyes

So I went in there and I'd seen her and I was like, you know, I was nervous and Anyway, you know, I went in there and I Went in there a follow-up time because I'm the kind of guy that'll show up somewhere Fall in love with a woman that works behind a counter. I don't know if you've ever done this but I'll I'll go somewhere fall in love with somebody who works at the place and then try and And then go back to the place to try and profess my love or make a connection. So Anyway, so I go back and I was nervous

And we talked about MMA fighting We talked about adult male, you know, uh You know fighting and so I figured I would try and talk about that again when I saw her I couldn't remember her name and So I was like, hey, you remember me, you know, what's your name? And she's like, oh, my name is you know, Clara. I believe or is her name and So Then I was like, oh Have you been watching any of the fights and she said no, I haven't and then I was like so

You ever like are so nervous that you can't even hear what the other person is saying You're just like, oh, have you ever watched any of the fights and you just you can't even no matter what their answer is Your next question is gonna be something like do you have a boyfriend? You know, uh So she said I don't know what she said she might have who knows she could have been calling the police But I was like, oh, do you you know have um, maybe we should watch the fight some time and And and that was kind of weird because I didn't I don't even know kind of how she responded if she was like, yeah, or maybe or And then I was like, oh, do you have a boyfriend? And that's how I said it to like do you have a boyfriend like I just got so

No, just I was just strung up, you know, just like when you see a rabbit and he's got one of his legs caught in the uh In that wire, you know, do you have a boyfriend? And that's how I was verbally, you know, I was that verbal kind of hung rabbit and She said I do and I didn't have a plan for her Having a boyfriend. I did not have my plan was I I Ask her out and she maybe says yes

Or no, I guess was also, I mean, that's probably that's always that's the biggest option But I didn't have a plan for when I was gonna think she says a dude I saw I'm making the story so long so I Was thinking okay, I asked her and then she said she says no, I don't and then I follow up with Oh, well, maybe I could take you out sometime or I could buy you something. That's not a crepe, you know, or something just a chill line Well, I said do you have a boyfriend? and She said yes, and so when she said yes, I couldn't it was it would have been weird for me to follow up with oh

Well, maybe we should go out sometime So I Didn't know what to ask her so I just asked her name again And I was like, oh, what was your name? So It didn't make any sense man It just didn't make any sense man So anyway, oh and this was the worst part then then I had to say I'd already ordered the food so I had to sit there

She said yes, I was like, oh, what was your name? What is your name? I said, what is your name? What is your name? And She told me her name again, and then the conversation was just and Then she'd like given me like my plate and fork and knife that comes with your food that you order and you just go sit down at Your table and then it comes out and I was the only person in there So now I have to sit and I this is where I really messed up. I sat facing the counter. I Sat facing her at the counter and then I had to sit there and just eat a crepe

Which is the Loneliest saddest thing you can eat as a rejected man It's almost feels like one of those Japanese game shows like oh you lost you eat the Crips, you know And so I'm sitting there just eating this sad Every bite tasted like this girl did not like me Um But I did it I Did it I went in there. I asked her out. I

Didn't get she didn't I there was no option and I asked her her name again, and then I sat and Point blank ate a crepe in front of this woman Very very sad Um Very very sad so So anyway, if you've ever been rejected of you ever tried and failed with a woman Which I'm sure you have or you wouldn't be listening to this podcast

Then I'd love to know about it And I'd love to hear the sharing of it and if you can hit the hotline and keep it concise, you know And hit the hotline nine eight five six six four nine five zero three And let me know about that moment. Let me know how you handled or how you didn't handle it The succeeding is in the trying. That's where it is That's where it is so If you've ever been rejected bro rejected nation son, you feel me gang man

We out here man We out here. Let's get into the episode. This is Paul Cawthon. Holy Ghost fire I got the Holy Ghost fire and it's burning me I got the Holy Ghost fire burning me Got the Holy Ghost fire and I'm burning down these streets. I Got a sweet little baddie at your own in the catty with me. I Got a sweet little baddie at your own in the catty with me I got a whole lot of product for my Holy Ghost mama. She make you sweet eyes of me

Don't let me down Oh sweet mama, don't let me down I'm dying to get you in the palm of my hand I'm dying to get you in the palm of my hand If you knew the truth about the baby, throw the way in hell you'd stay If you knew the truth about me and the way in hell you'd stay Hey, if you knew the truth about me in a way in hell girl, you'd stay have you disappointed a woman in your life, Raleigh Mal Oh, have I I definitely have

And how do you feel about it now and now that some time has passed I would say pretty great because she wasn't the one And in hindsight, how do you know that she wasn't I? Think it was just the feeling I just had a strong feeling she wasn't the one But at the time you had a feeling she was huh? Oh, of course And what was it you think leading you down that down that path to thinking she was you think it was naivety. Do you think it was? Sensualness, you know, do you think it was the devil? What do you think it was really? No, I think she just um, I Don't know. She just

She was acting really different and odd and Like what was she doing? Like what do you mean like walking like sleepwalking or something? Well, apparently what I was told is that she's pregnant. I was like, haha, what? So then I fell in love for a pregnant woman Pretty much and I had no idea because she wasn't showing yet So it was it was very early in the stage and I literally had no idea that pregnancy the first three months. It can trick you That's the thing about leeway That's called leeway Riley

And that's where you know a woman will have a certain amount of time they can still trick another man They get pregnant over here. They get pregnant with Jerry and then they tell in Lance. Oh, I love you You know, I love you comes, you know spray in me And then they trick you and say, oh, yeah, you you know, you must have a strong seed. I got that six month, baby You know, I got that little hatchling right here six month You know that that little premature bad boy and he comes out weighing a pound pound and a half some of these children now You know half the wombs out there they you know, you see a womb up close on the camera and the windows are busted out in it Half these women out here, they got, you know, they got Cardi B blaring out of the damn second floor of their womb

You can't even know you don't even know what's going on anymore You know, it's all people's thought and people, you know, somebody's you know, you hear somebody stealing a person jumping off a rooftop Of the damn womb and you're like, what is going on here? But that's where we are right now A lot of these pre-packaged wombs a lot of you know, these pre-packaged wombs You know these pre-fab You used to be back in the old days Riley a woman had a decent womb in her You know about it you heard about it. Yeah, definitely and

Then now you get these lady that got the dams, you know, you don't know if it's a womb or a damn ziploc bag in there You don't know it's not as reliable as it once was you back in the day They had a woman out of damn concrete womb. It was something, you know, they had a bird's nest in the corner They had it was there was more There was something there There was something had a doorbell on it, you know, it was a damn real place and Now you got these, you know, they got somebody smoking on the porch. You don't even know I got the guy So it's just it's a different time man

It is a different time what's going on What's going on, I was thinking the other day about About racism Because obviously I think about it a lot and we've discussed it before on here Riley Would you agree with that? Well, I think that here's what I'm thinking is Now a days you see a lot of children a lot of mixed children You know, you see somebody and we talked about it last a couple weeks ago. There's somebody's Japanese and

and Filipino You know or you see somebody that's You know from Delaware and also somebody that's Malaysian You know malware They'll call them or whatever They'll call them or whatever but

When I was young they called them mixed. Oh, look at that little mixed fella, you know, you'd see a kid He'd have a white body one black leg You know, you'd see a kid he had a little, you know, maybe he was 10% uh You know, maybe he was 10% um Penoy and he'd have one kind of lean eye, you know It was just different man, you'd see, you know, but they call him mixed. Oh that little fella's mixed look at him You know, you'd see a little while you'd see a black kid, but he'd have long blonde hair You know when he permed his own hair at night

You're like, oh damn. He's something, you know So it was just a different time people were more mixed, but I'm thinking that Because there's still some racism out there You know and I'll name a couple of groups that do not get along really well Or if they get along well, but there's still some tension. That's a better way to say it Black and white Chinese and black Also Mexican and black in prison

Okay, and this is all stuff that I've heard from verified people And the rumor is black versus alien or extraterrestrial ets You know, I have a lot of black friends that have told me that there is low-key beef between extraterrestrials And the urban community um Do you know any rally any rate what groups that have racial tension?

um Japanese and germans there you go And there you go Right from the little horse's mouth right there. You heard it And where'd you hear about it? Um in school for one, um, but also for another, you know, a few of my friends that are german Sorry about that. I have An email account

But here's what I'm thinking is the one the way we get to the future because you see a lot of these fellows now a lot of these ladies that are doing well when it's mixed culture You got your Patrick my homes is out there this guy. I mean, who knows what he's doing. Let's do do anything. He wants You got who's somebody that's mixed that does well Riley Um Me Who else I'm trying to think of a female. There's definitely other people But here's what I'm saying is that this I think eventually all the rate every race will be mixed In two three centuries, you're gonna have everybody is going to be

part everything And then that's when Everything gets unlocked, you know Like we kind of unlock some of the key to the universe when you get to that You know that kind of captain planet Um type shit Basically

Because here's the thing that's the thing. It's a magic deal Because everybody's still you know people still kind of cornering off for their respect people still blocking out posting up for their own races a lot And um, I think the the key to it all is is once you get all of that All of the rate once it's all mixed completely And you get that you know, japanatric My homes Basically when you get that full It's almost like if you took around a cup at a united nations meeting

You know or even just a hand you put your hand out like that Hit everybody e-jack into your hand at a uh U.N rally or something or a mixed event And you mix all that up And you put that shit in the oven on high for about three hours, bro. I bet when you open it up You got to just a big bunt cake that it would never ever be racist And I bought a lot of the shit And I believe that a thousand percent, man

So i'm just trying to think outside of the box, you know, i'm just trying to think of things that could Be this be the end game You know i'm just trying to think of the things that would be the end game out here I got to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by blue chew Do you have a hard time taking pills like me? If you're like me, you'll get all your vitamins in one hand In the morning 12 16 different, you know pills and little nodules You know, hell i'll even put a suppository in there and take it through the throat

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Ships directly to your door in discrete packaging Here's a great deal for you guys. Visit blue chew dot com and get your first order free when you use promo code thio Just pay five dollar shipping. That's b l u e c h e w dot com promo code t h e oh I remember one time just being and I don't know what had gone on

I think somebody come through town with a new dish a new you know a new uh Type of maybe mexican food or something You know a new spice or something Because I grew up in a time people would come through town something come through town it would hit everybody You know, I remember a bad hit of lsd a bad uh batch of lsd came through our town and nobody could spell anything nobody could You know a fire batch or the the kids would call it now a fire-ass batch Of lsd came through town and people couldn't spell people couldn't

I remember one one type of drug came through town people couldn't tie their shoes in our town for half a month people walking around us You know People haven't wear slippers a lot. You see a working man an electrical man out there in slippers You see people walking into the mine with their You know shoes untied just couldn't It was a different time It was a way different time

What else I remember heavy golf balls somebody sold a batch of heavy golf balls they'd Whenever they got them made they were too heavy And so suddenly all the men in our town they were hitting ball hit doing golf, but they couldn't the scores were low Take a man 11 shots to do a par four You know men out there crying men start drinking Abusing their wives and lying You know, so I grew up in a time where a Rare product or a

Misvenue they used to call it mismanufacturement Would trouble a society would ruin a small town Ruin a small town And then I remember yeah a certain a rare spice or something Something maybe a native. I don't know what happened. Maybe something's in the water and every biola You know people were just damn erect God people were erect. I mean you'd have a You know, you'd have a bird laying right on your front

For no reason, you know a dog would just come run at you and just grab you by the front And it was just I mean it was just insane You know, it was just insane But you got to be careful you got to be careful and get the right dose For your pain. Maybe you run high on that dose man. You were what I mean, you will look just I mean your lips get hard. You can't close your eyes. I've taken some pills at all I mean that'll make a damn cry

You know Make you cry, man Uh, what else do we have man? Let's get into um Well, we had a couple calls, man And I had a lot of nice calls after last week's episode, but we we got some calls people come through Uh with some different calls In verbal calls right here as always the hotline [phone]

3 let's get into that That's the old man. Hey, we're calling out here really close to covington Well, man and covington. That's my hometown Where did you did you know I was from somewhere rally? I did not know exactly where Well, I am from covington, louisiana. Do you know what it's famous for? Cheese no wait, that's wisconsin. Yep. Nope. It is famous for tallest statue of ronald reagan in america Tallest full copper statue of ronald reagan. You have a favorite statue

Can't say I do You got to have one man, you should get one. I like uh, I'll tell you a couple of mine. You're welcome to barred if you need but there's one in um There was the tallest bob hope statue and that was in uh duran, I believe it was Duran, illinois. Can you look that up actually do you mind really now? um

Hate to put you to work there, but You got to do something, you know, um Tallest bob hope statue Peoria, illinois has a richard prior statue that I believe is full pewter Or maybe 70 pewter or something And they quit putting copper in a lot of statues because a lot of homeless and uh Drug addicts or da's Will chip it out and uh

And sell it and smoke it Smoke uh drugs with the money So you'll you know You do a copper statue and then next you know it only has one arm and they got you know 11 more You know 11 more people smoking crack near you And you're just wondering how it all financially made sense What do you have a tallest bob hope statue any information? Oh you wanted bob hope I looked up the statue of hope in uh

friendship indiana Oh, okay. What is that? it is A private memorial or monument displayed in a graveyard or cemetery hope is one of the seven virtues of the christian religion So it's literally just about hope. Oh, that's beautiful. Not bob hope, but okay Well, that's close enough man. If you get that bob hope intel, let us know So, yeah, but I appreciate it fellow and what I'm telling you is down a heat call from covington, louisiana and that's Have the world's stahl

stalla statue of ronald reagan And that's 10 feet tall unprecedented ronald People refer to it locally or the ur onward We just want to say hope you're doing good. We appreciate everything. We just made it to god Uh, keep everything on the top shelf man. We love you later Amen, and they just made it through the storm down there in louisiana storm delta And that's where we're at now. We got airlines sponsoring the storms What that's how it is now this next storm brought to you by enter g

This next storm brought to you by task rabbit Here's a storm Here's a tornado Brought to you by bratch's candies Do you like bratch's get you some? The next thing you know your house is on its ass That's what it's coming to it's coming to Natural disasters sponsored by companies

Oh, okay Here's your craft macaroni and earthquakes brother You want some of that? Rabies. Oh this strand it's fierce It's just as fierce as the new spotify That's hope i'm just telling you what's next guys. It's all for sale now It's all for sale But i'll say this about louisiana and i'm hyped up i'll tell you i'm hyped up

You know and i'm tired of sometimes you know i'm not tired of anything but i'm sometimes i'm hyped up and sometimes i'm not Some of them i have a different mood And i'm hyped up today You know we're supposed to have a trucker and we don't have a trucker We're supposed to have a trucker and we don't have a trucker, okay So that's where i'm at. I'm handling it. I'm moving forward But dude every time i'm afraid to even call people in louisiana anymore when i call home man everybody's hiding from a storm Oh, what's going on? We under a blanket right now

We got 40 of those weighted blankets, you know, we're riding it out Yeah, we having a party. We just you know we got five handles of Tito's You know hell the dogs having a damn jello shot right now We out here at my cousins. We're riding it out We're driving to austin that i feel like the only thing Living in louisiana is basically like playing hide-and-go-seek with the weather. That's it It's just like you and mother nature in a game of red rover That's what's going on when you live down there in louisiana on the gulf coast. We're packing everything up

I'm like y'all just get y'all just moved in. Yeah, we moving out The rain's coming Oh, man, bless you guys. I'm glad you guys are doing this Oh, man, bless you guys. I'm glad you guys made it through it I'm glad you guys made it through a man and thanks for the update and um And you know, it gets me remember about four You that rain rally I do it's cool, huh? Yeah, that's it's a lot

That's a lot man. That's cool That's one thing that's different man about living here instead of living in california predominantly anyway He's just feeling that weather calm In california if there's weather you feel like it's part of a movie set you're just Because it's always the same the weather is always nice. So you get something a little different You feel like somebody just cute. It was part of like the producer just sent it or director just Send in the uh, let's do five hour five mile per hour winds Yeah, can you raise the wind and send a bird? Let's send a bird send two birds. Yeah, it's spring

That's what it feels like out there in california if something comes through that it's all designed But here you get a natural piece of something And it's nice man, you remember that there's a bigger director out there. There's mother natures out there And that bad bitch is union and she is uh She's doing whatever she wants now because she has tenure and she's not worried about getting fired She gets a two hour lunch break even though she only has a five hour work day. So but Uh, anyway, uh, thanks for that call man. Raleigh male. You got any information on that? Uh, bob hope statue I do

So It says that bob hope may be something of a forgotten figure as a los angeles times writer said in a november 29th story About a new biography on the late comedian hope entertainer of the center. Okay. What about the statue bubba? There is a nine foot five inch tall fiberglass and cement uh statue that has stood for 34 years In uh rockford rockford, Illinois. Yes, sir. Wow Yeah, man. That's beautiful. Now something this yes, something you see different places small towns like to do that I'd like to honor something Tallest statue bob hope. Did he ever go see it? Does it say?

Okay And there you go ladies and gentlemen, that's rally male right there. All right, let's take uh Let's take another call that came in here. Um This was from actually the new jersey show and this fella came uh came through And he sent in a video actually and this fella named dan Romeo. Yo, what's up theo? So, um, here we go So Kind of hard to see because of this camera angle, but and if you can see on the video here, they got video

And he sent us video And video basically it's like a million pictures at once man Right here. We got dan. Romeo hitting us up and he just showed us if you can see on the video here He showed us he he's a wheelchair man. This man. He's that bionic fella You know, he's that wheelie wheelie hit man. This dude could go off a ramp And be like that man and be wild because of this camera angle, but My name is dan. I was that dude in the wheelchair at your late show in jersey That shit was funny as fuck. I don't think we expected anything less. He killed it up there gave thanks, brother

I appreciate you Daniel. It's all a good laughter in this pandemic time Take our minds off this shit for a little bit and uh, fuck it dude Me and you start traveling around this globe fucking up People fucking up family barbecues and three-legged racing and smoking them both stay on our side of the leg You know what I'm saying, but uh, I sure do brother and I appreciate it man. I appreciate you with this call And yeah, if you got no legs, man, I got two I'll give you one man. We're both each staying there on it like a flamingo You know, maybe have us, you know share a cigarette or something Or I'm not smoking now, but you could take some hits and blow it into my mouth as long as our lips don't touch you feel me onward

Yeah, man, I appreciate the kind words and the shout out that shit was unreal all my buddies and me We all watched the podcast and we were all they were all sending me clips because before I got to watch it and I I was like, holy shit. This is fucking unreal Well, I appreciate you being out there, man, you know and I never You know, I've always had legs My whole life and and I I didn't plan on it, but I just You know once I was alive, I just had them and You know, so it's always interesting when I meet somebody that's

You know, that's just That's doing it a different way Because I think life is like that Sometimes you get legs and I'm you don't Sometimes you get legs and I'm you don't, you know, it's kind of like mounds and almond joy You know and I got them freaking almonds brah me and you uh, and you you know, you more the um You more the you roll them without you know, sand nuts they call it but uh

But anyway, I love you man, and I appreciate it and it's good to see your face here, dude because I couldn't see that well from the stage And um next time I come out there, dude. Yeah, we'll go do a show. Maybe we hit the vaudeville or something You know, I do a flute and you come out and do something go off a little ramp or something You know or maybe we get a uh train an animal to be involved have a little canary land on you or something Or we have you in a box the whole time on the stage and then we surprise everybody at the end And you roll, you know, maybe part of the box opens up and you roll out You know and do a uh

You know do a bottle rocket or do something some sort of flare activity or something So A lot of possibilities man A lot of possibilities What else we got this episode's all over the place I will say that Um, we got this call came in Here we go Yo, this is braiding from Denver, Colorado

Hey braiding and I got a little nephew named braiding who lives over there and um Spanish fork In uh, alabama, let's hear more um With all the negativity that's been going on in the news and the pandemic. I just wanted to Let you know about something positive that came about it my Childs and friends back in the middle school and high school

We're all over the country and out for us to get together, but Because of all the extra time everybody's gotten everybody working remotely We have set up a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that meets up Uh once a week so every Thursday We get together and we hunt dragons and you all put some fun stuff together and uh Look I think oh man I don't even know how to get into this. I think it's beautiful. You guys are getting together man

Do I think the dungeons and dragons always never really Didn't know how to handle that vibe You know, you'd always be you'd see people meeting up in the back of a quiz nose or something at night And some guys got a purple beard and he's got you know, his lady's got them big big big beefy tits, you know Then big fricking them slush guppies dog them, but just damn like a damn Just big old tits, you know Kind of tit you hear somebody rev a truck when you see them just right when you see them like damn You know that titties got octane, you know, it just you feel that tittie a little

See that you know like uh The kind of breasts is so big it could tell you're looking at it So you look the other way out of sheer just embarrassment or you know mild shame, but Men meeting up to play dungeons and dragons at night man. I'll tell you this. I remember when I was in junior high And I was good in junior high and And I saw they had some kids playing it outside one day And you'd see every you know, one of the kids looked like Rapunzel and it was a boy, you know, and he'd have his hair braided into a You know into the other kid was wearing his hair braid as a damn scarf and they were all it was just wild shit

You'd have some guy would have his nose his septum pierced, and you'd have a spare key hanging off it You know to get into school and all of them hated gym class these were the kids who did not like gym class and I saw uh A big goal we didn't get a lot of goals You know seagulls pelicans. We didn't get a lot of them flying over campus when I was in junior high but every now and then The winds would switch over there over the um Poncher train And a pelican would come come by

And I saw a pelican defecate onto a damn uh Dungeons and dragons game And I that shit made me feel good man, honestly when it happened May the pelicans Be ever in your favor my friend What about the news rather? Why don't you keep the news and uh get it ready for us? I'm going to tell everybody about one of our sponsors right here And I want to tell you guys that um

That there's something called fair D And if you're not familiar with it, you should know With these times right now, I feel like fashion is over You know, you'll see somebody wearing a trisket box as a helmet You'll see somebody wearing a damn uh You know, you'll see somebody with a mask made out of a damn uh craft single In the words of my friend trevor wallis. That's what he says, you know, he saw a man with a You know wearing a craft single as a mask

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brand.com slash Theo Rally now hit us with a news item brother Well in a british wildlife park they have removed five cursing parrots from public Okay, when you say cursing parrots, what do you mean like parrots that they're what castin spells on public on public? I mean that they have foul language. Oh fouls have foul language. Okay And any other information are giving you Um, it just says that the birds shared the ability to curse up a storm

Something they engaged in quite often Okay So they're doing it and where's it happening you said in a british wildlife park. Yep Yep You know when I was young rally you'd see a um When I was young you'd see a mobile zoo was popular You know and that was a man had a nice van or an extended van even sometimes a church van And this man you know a man would have a uh mobile zoo

And so you know somebody'd come through town with a chimp and a uh a small dolphin In an aquarium or something in a big van, you know and you you know pay a dollar go see it Or somebody come through roll through with two chimps and a beagle And that was maybe 75 you go see the you know see them And sometimes the beagle try to mate with everybody beetle beagle You know a deranged beagle will fuck anything And that's probably

That's practically scripture man, uh But we had a fella come through town one time and he had a couple of starlings. I believe They were birds And um And they curse you go give them a dollar half dollar And they call you the n word call you the s word You know call you a jew for a dollar. They call you a jew And it was just a different time

Uh It was just a different time You know when a man when a traveling zoo was more Or you know they didn't have as much legal issues Nowadays somebody you know You know a friend of mine got bit outside of a bj's pizza by a damn uh By a australian shepherd and that's a lawsuit Whereas when I was young you'd pay maybe 50 cents for that

So we're living in different times man, um And I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I spent a couple dollars over there Because this fella's little zoo broke down by us And you get over there in a starling we'd call you this or call you that You know sometime for a you know dollar 50 you could get you know Two n words and a jew out of the guy or something you know out of the thing or you know just You know you could strike up a deal

And what kind of uh birds were they rally does it say? um They are the African african uh gray parrots. Okay So that's almost I mean Let's be honest bro. If it's african gray. That's almost a black That's a you know That's an african-american bird

You know, I mean, I know there's different ways to say it and but still it's like So if they're dropping them bombs is that you know I don't know if that really You need if that it's order article worthy You know, I get if you got a white parrot litter or something out there and he you know, you got a toucan And he's out there just humming in bombs at people what are trying to buy a mouse or whatever Then that to me is risque, but You know, this sounds just like nature kind of figuring itself out

um You know in the 1600s 1700s they used to use cows to find uh Like I don't want to say landmines or but explosives and stuff not 1700s were like 1800s and 1900s And they'd send them out there wandering out there You know Until they until they detonated it So You know anything about that that might have even been a far asian trick

We're uh rally you have you had any have you heard anything about that at home any uh on the home front any long to family tales or anything like that I've haven't no any of your family in any of the wars Iwo Jima famous war Not that I know of You seem like you might have a little warrior in you Anybody ever told you that? Um, no, you would be the first That's cool, bro

Thank you All right, let's check out this next call here that came in Hey, what's going on Theo? This is josh, uh from Missouri and uh, man, I I don't know what I should do I just need some advice to my girl. Thank you for calling josh from Missouri or Missouri So I'm a step dad used to call it Missouri up Missouri And he died actually

girlfriend started only fans And uh, she's making pretty good money But lately she said she wants to uh, she wants me to be in the videos with her I just don't know how I feel about that. I mean she says she can make more money if I'm in them but I just I don't really want my My penis and stuff being on camera. So I was just wondering what you would do and give me some advice and see gang gang

gang, bro And look is a great question You know, I remember when I was a little younger a fella told me hey, your penis ain't made for video And I gotta say that I agree with that I think there's some only fan stuff that you could do that's a little bit, you know, risque but not as wicked You know Because I don't know then you now you got to worry about the lighting you got to worry about what do people comment? Oh, look at that

Look at that guy got that little dick, bro Huh? Dude two of those Two two people saying ah Look at sammy's got that little dick You're never gonna be the same after reading those comments, right? So I don't know rally now. What do you think about that kind of stuff you subscribed any of that depravity?

I do not And how do you keep off of it? I I just keep off of it And do you do you have any trouble looking at pornography or anything like that? I don't wow really? God And have you always been that way? Man And how do you do it you think

I mean, I just I just don't There's not really a how I just don't Remarkable buddy Okay Speaking of rally now, let's get a here a call came in right about him and here we go Hey, man, this is Ruben calling from Greenville South Carolina. What's up, Ruben? And you got to respect a man named after a sandwich You got to respect him

You whether you know a guy named grilled cheese Whitaker or Ruben Harper You know where you go, you know a guy named PB and J Washington You got to respect somebody name after a damn edible lunch on tray Onward, I got to be honest with you, man. Riley now. Just ain't doing it for me. I'm a boy. Listen my co-workers My buddies we all listen to show. I love the boy. He's a good boy. I was a boy scout. He was a boy scout He made a father night. I got mad respect for my Christian. He's a Christian, you know, we're brothers in that sense But I don't I mean, I'm trying to be as nice as possible. Nice as a guy in the world. He sounds like just the sweetheart But I don't know for the purposes of your show if he's lending anything that

Let's see. He he He ain't bringing a lot to the table He ain't bringing a lot to the table and I appreciate it Ruben. I appreciate the feedback You know, this is a feedback circle here and people is allowed to feedback and I don't even I don't even damn you for it, brother I want to hear what you have to say And he just says that, you know, he feels like you don't really that you don't Bring a lot to the table rally. Have people ever told you that in your life before or not? Oh all the time

All right, let's see. Let's get another call. We had another call that came in about you and uh, let's see what we can do here about it Uh, hi, my name is Henry. I'm in middle school And well, I'm pretty used to those stats. I train almost every day And I hear that Riley's Asian. So that's pretty much a given that well, he's in martial arts. So I challenge him to a duel Uh gang

Now you're going I don't even know if we can legally even listen to a middle uh I don't know how old that child is and it could be also he could be 18 or 19 In middle school, we had a guy named Larry or Mr. Larry. They called him eventually when I was in middle school and he was He was at least 19 And he could come I remember in the bathroom we'd be in there urinating You know just doing water out the front and uh He'd come in and pee right over you into the urinal Just showing off, you know, because he was

I mean hell he was fully developed and is You know and he just had a damn cannon on him He had that freaking God dang he had that, you know that 19 year old spout on him. We're all out here just using a everybody's penis. Look like a little igloo Something you see on igloo water cooler And he shows up with this big dang Lincoln log, you know, but Anyway, uh, Riley, you got a child right there challenging you. Could you beat a child in the contest? I'm yeah, I'm pretty sure I can you think you could beat that kid's ass honestly Henry

Um, I don't know. He might be faking the faking the voice. He might be like a really tough guy. I don't know And how would you approach it you think? Well, I mean I'm telling you know come over to come over to the Middle East and we'll uh, we'll hash it out. Okay So there you go. You got a real challenge right there. He's saying bring it over to the central east you mean Bring it over to the central east and we'll hash it out You know and that's how you right there people want to doubt on Riley now

He'll just he just offered to beat the shit out of a damn middle schooler So I mean if that ain't If that ain't beautiful, baby, I don't know what is you know, especially during these tough times, man Especially during these tough times I'll tell you what else is good, man Mint mobile Break it up with your old wireless provider just got a whole lot easier. Thanks to mint mobile

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Theo cut your unlimited wireless build of 30 bucks a month at mint mobile dot com slash theo All right, let's take another call right here Hey, this is rob calling from atlanta What's up rob? Thank you for the call my friend and I appreciate you from atlanta I'm not sure where you're up to this Tuesday, but Buffalo bills will be in Nashville. And if you're free, I got an extra ticket for you, man There's nothing we welcome more to the bills mafia than a nice strong mullet Not gonna be a full crowd, but

If you want to come through and watch josh Allen tear up the titans, man, let me know I'd love to see my buddy Harrison Phillips over there play Over there for buffalo And he plays buffalo bills football And I'd love to see him do it So maybe we'll get out there and they're undefeated over there both of the teams Both of the teams undefeated zero losses two teams. That's good football

So thank you for that um What else anything else you want to share with us Riley? um I did see that a man told snake skin isn't a legitimate face covering There you go There you go All right, I want to say this man, uh, we had

A lot of calls last week, you know, I was going through a tough time and and sometimes that is him Sometimes that I just am going through a tough time and uh And I just want to say thanks for the nice calls and the support, you know, I appreciate it um You know, I just have this thing inside of me where I just I forget I just I just There's just part of me that forgets that people care about me. It just forgets it. It's like a It's almost like a

It's like a software issue where You know, it just kind of that part of the The residual effect of people caring about me just dissipates pretty quickly um And and so it's just a you know, I appreciate a lot of nice reminders that came in and um and people just sharing some of their thoughts and so I want to uh Just honor a couple of those man. Let's get into it

What's up will thank you for the call will And you know, I grew up with a fellow they called will the thrill And he invited us over to his house one time uh for a party and Some fellow had just learned to masturbate in our group And we didn't know about it or he hadn't just learned he'd known maybe he was probably This dude might have been 26 Then he was in uh middle school or junior high Or pre-june you're high

And So we're all in a hot tub. We're relaxing, you know, it's birthday party And you ever been to a birthday party for a hot tub rally? Well, you got to get out more man, it was uh Yeah, it's about maybe eight boys sitting in a hot tub And And this is in Louisiana and if you have a hot tub in Louisiana And if you have a hot tub in Louisiana, first of all, you are obviously clinically

Not doing well because that's basically like making soup. It's basically there's never There's been four cold days in the history of Louisiana So to have a hot tub is just It's delinquent It's all you're may basically making soup out of whoever you invite to sit in it So we got a basically an eight child booyah base going on out there We got an eight child gumbo brewing out there and some fellow named CJ Vickery Had learned of

You know jerk himself off And nothing the rest of us didn't know about it We'd never heard of it. We'd never seen it. We'd never even seen a drawing of somebody ejaculate And uh, so he's touching his body under the water You know being a secretive doing secretive touch And suddenly when he's about to ejaculate he pulls his body up out of the water and he starts just kind of you know Just e-jacking into the little pool into the little hot tub

And will this kid will the thrill they called him grabbed his penis to stop it because he thought something bad was happening to him He was having a bad reaction or something because he's never seen it So he grabbed it to stop it and like squeeze it and uh And the kid punched him kid punched him right in the neck And that hurts bruh seeing somebody get punched in the neck man when they when they're trying to Hold on to somebody else's Pain is for no reason. I don't know the whole thing was just

It was a lot man. It was a lot of levels. It was kind of like the odyssey ever at the odyssey rally I have And you it was pretty wild, huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, very similar to that and uh Anyway, man, so I knew a fella named will man, uh Uh, let's hear more. Thanks for the call um, I'm just listening to your um podcast

You just put out the one about where you you know, you want to drink and you know for me, man I've been in recovery. I've got a little over two and a half years right now and I Absolutely know what you're going through. Um Um For me, it was just feeling miserable and not having the drugs and the alcohol to turn to and

Wondering like damn. What else, you know, I'm going to the gym. Um Uh going to meetings. I'm going to church. I'm doing all these things. I'm doing everything y'all tell me to do But I still feel You know down I still wake up I asked if I said do you wake up happy and they're like, yeah, and I said damn You know, I couldn't remember the last time that I woke up happy Man, I can really I I can relate man

Yeah, I don't know. I think You know, not nobody gets everything ever everybody gets some things You know, some people are You know, might be good at math and some people You know, uh Wake up happy You know, some people like uh pudding and and some people Can't you know can can draw

You know, it's all the way god makes it. I think everything evens out. Nobody gets it all You know, somebody's beautiful, but they might be dumb You know, somebody might be dumb, but they could uh Uh, you know, but they could teach you how to sing if you need to sing real quick Everybody has different capabilities Um And yeah, one of my strong suits is not waking up happy man It's just waking up at a deficit

and Yeah, I can do all the things but sometimes that's just my walk in the world And so each day I have to have uh Or each day I find that a program If I follow a program then it helps me Um And the best program I've found for myself is through 12 step in recovery To battle that daily

Oh, here we go again. Oh, I'm not good enough. Oh, I can't handle this. Oh, I feel this way It gets me out of me and gets me on to someone else or on to god before I can get to myself, you know Um But yeah, when I meet somebody that wait when I meet somebody who wakes up happy. Oh, I'm so envious. It's like, oh Go How do you do it? I mean, that's my david blaine right there When I meet somebody who wakes up full of joy

Just wakes up you get that free gift of joy, man, that's beautiful But it gives me something to work towards man, it gives me a daily battle And I and I got to be thankful also for that daily battle even on the days when I lose it Um You know because if we woke up and just had everything man, it would I don't probably I don't know if I want that Let's take another call man. Here we go Yo, pio, what's up, man? This is uh, j

I'm from new york What's up j. Thank you for calling man onward All right. I'm just calling. I was just listening to your last episode with the asthma as mr. Asma attack Uh, yeah that driver that fella had that as and we had to pull over so we could you know You know so we could long up off the freaking turnpike gang driving the over freaking pulling over to breathe some of this funk Breathe some of this funk air that we have in the new york new jersey area. Um, you seen the little down

You seen the little depressed Um, I just wanted to kind of reach out and let you know. Um, you did move to nashville, tennessee um So it's a whole another area of the country coming from la where it's more sunny more sunshine Yada yada, but um, I just want to let you know a lot of people around the full time start to get depressed Uh due to um, you know nature the leaves are the leaves are falling off the trees And uh, the trees are giving off that pheromone of you know dying And it's it's natural man. It's natural and you have a lot on your plate

You know, you've been clean. You've been sober. I'm a big fan of the show gang gang And um, I just want to let you know man. This is a normal. It's a normal thing to be depressed at this time of the year Especially moving from another, you know from a city to another city. So, um You know, just hold in there man. Springtime will be back around. All right. Let's take another call here Yo, what up theo? This is louise Uh, just getting to your adult asthma episode and You know, it's funny because you know, I usually stay on top, but that kind of fell behind the episodes and You know, you're saying, you know, god does for you. Well, you can't do for yourself and you know, I needed to hear that because

You know, as you're doing your sobriety. I'm also dealing with what I have to do and you know, the clerk telling you that you can't go to the restaurant was almost synonymous with My cell phone dying as I was texting my dealer You know, I've been sober now for one month and It's been the hardest month so far

I can't sleep. I can't eat Uh, but you know, listen to your podcast only reassured me that you know, what I'm doing is the right thing and You know, it's not easy. It's not going to be easy. And you know, I only deal with these stressful moments And these instances where you just want to binge. It's It's hard, man Wow, man. Yeah, it's it. Yeah, it's hard Yeah, it's hard. I guess got to remember that it's hard sometimes

You know, and I just You know, it just means a lot man. I appreciate it. I really do and um Yeah, your phone dying while you're texting your dealer. That's wild. What a blessing on. That's crazy And yeah for some people and some people say well, hey, man, just have a drink or go party one night and let the edge out And that's fine. That's definitely an option but I just When I when I don't want to do that option and some people don't have a problem if you don't have a problem Then it's then it's then more power to you

You know I'll tickle your cousin while you do a line off his ass, bro. You know what I'm saying, dude. I'm out there I'm out there, bro you know I'll I'll frickin, you know You know, I'll give you a stepmother azerbert, bro While she's doing a line, bro or something whatever we got to do, you know, I mean But I just if I go out like that, then I who I don't know if I'm coming back sometimes

Because I like to ride that dust you feel me You know what I'm saying, I like to all aboard on that dust donkey, son That's where I'm at If you find me, bro I'll be out there on that dust I'll frickin I'll snort a ring off a Saturn baby. You feel me? I'll snort a ring off of Saturn son So I just got to be careful with it But man, I'm glad I'm glad you got a month, man

It makes me feel good for you and just not feel good for you. It just makes me feel I'm just happy that you feel good for you Yeah, man, because that's powerful. It's just powerful um so But yeah, man, thank you guys for all the kind messages and stuff and what have I done this week to take care of myself a little bit better um Well for one, I was coming down off probably off a testosterone. I would I'd been taking testosterone

um That trt replacement and stuff like that and So there probably could have been some side effects of that um You know, uh, but this week I've been just trying to stay more at uh, busy with my running Um working with a new therapist um Making a gratitude list every day and really sticking to it

And even recording my gratitude list on audio in the senate to to some of my buddies who also make them And having them send it back, you know, no homo bro or yes homo, whatever, but uh Uh, that's the kind of stuff that that this past week has been saving me um And just keeping me in a in a keeping my spirit more comfortable. So Yeah, I was born with an uncomfortable spirit You know, I was born with an uncomfortable spirit um

so But yeah, I appreciate just so much a lot of kind words man a lot of kind words and um Um, it just meant a lot. So thank you all right, well, uh we will We're looking also for unique characters to come in so follow tpw instagram and we'll let you know some possible You know, um unique type character type people that we would like to have on the show and unique, uh humans and um

And we'll do what we can and You know, we made it through it You know, that's one thing today. We rolled with the punches um You know, we were expecting to have female trucker in and it didn't happen And we wish her well and hope that she's safe wherever she is And uh, we just do what we can and

Any parting words you have rally No, not at all And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, we'll leave out the way we came in This is paul coffin With some good music holy ghost fire I got the holy ghost fire and it's burning me I got the holy ghost fire burning me

I got the holy ghost fire and I'm burning down the streets I got a sweet little baddie at your own in the caddy with I got a sweet little baddie at your own in the caddy with me I Got a whole lot of product for my holy ghost mama. She's making sweet eyes of me Don't let me down Sweet paul Mama, don't let me down

Mama, no No, it's fine I'm dying to get you in the palm of my face I If you put the strong ground even thrown away at all you can stay Put it in my real new hand what you take into the grave Hey, hey, because the secret ain't no secret if you give it all away I don't let me down

Sweet paul Mama, don't let me down I don't know what's right I'm dying to get you in the palm of my hand Don't let me down Sweet paul Oh, don't let me down