This Past Weekend - E304 Booty Hawk

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

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hello darkness my old friend what's going on guys um what is going on you know I ask you all the time what's going on and then I just say I just tell you what's going on but I don't know I'm happy to be back here in the central east I know that you know I'm happy to be back here and I got here and had to have that one egg dinner you ever have you ever you ever end up on that one egg dinner you get home and you have you don't have groceries you've been out of town you get you know yeah it's too late to thaw out something it's too late to thaw out a little sirloin or um you know what like a cut a hawk or something

or a chicken thigh it's too late for that so you gotta mix you gotta manage with what you have you have to manage and so you all you know you end up going open in the eggs and you got one egg left that uno huevo baby that Lance Armstrong dog you say damn man and you just make that one egg you know and it's it's heartbreaking a little bit but it's also it's better than nothing it's better than nothing right there that one egg wonder that's what they call me that one egg wonder the election it's coming it's here the results are gonna come in slowly I think it'll be probably a week a month could be a weeks who knows for

everybody they got to get the mail-ins the email in some people traveled back in time and wrote who they voted for on on a cave wall and they got to use they got to go back in time and do that they got to use the Ouija board and see who everybody voted for from the 1700s you know they got people doing all kind of people some people paying money have them have the plane right in the sky Joey Donnie who have you know they a lot of tablets are gonna happen they got a tablature all the votes and then we'll know and there's some people they think oh it's going to be you know everybody's they're gonna people gonna go

crazy they're gonna be people you know Paul Bunyan's gonna go through the streets people's you know they're boarding up Beverly Hills people just you know I guess if look if you want to go if you want to go hard it's a good day to go hard like you know maybe it's if that day if you want to get out and steal some sandals and throw a damn you know a wheelchair through a Panera bread window get out there and live your life sucker okay if you want to set a basket Robbins on fire and you know when Kickstarter batch of grilled rocky road get out there and be somebody but I'll tell you this baby I'm only about 48

hours off of pornography at the moment and I believe that adult asthma is a choice and that's who I am baby let's get into it here we go once you won't speak this mean to a child those who have lived with their feet to the fire and the gay very miserable jailer this is that uplifter right there you can feel it oh yeah man you hear that that's a good line let's hear that again man here we go I love them all ain't gonna quit gonna quit that goes double for you

man brother gonna do more good gonna talk less shit and that's about all I can do that right there is a band and outfit right there musical crack up called Cordova's do more good I'm gonna do more good I'm gonna talk less shit and that's about all I can do you know people say in catastrophe oh the volcanic is gonna go off you know that you know people's gonna be light and volcanoes people saying I'll be careful you know guns are gonna be shooting themselves it's gonna be a crazy day and I don't I don't believe that I believe that the hype all the BS from the election and the and the and the do

lolly all of that is done it's kind of hacky now it's been done you're gonna go out there and spray paint on a building what kind of rerun shit is that you gonna have to people enough to take you have to chain up the ante or do nothing I believe it's gonna just gonna be passive I just believe that it's been it's all you know it's already all been done you know I just I don't know I think it'll take a while to get the results for the election and I think it's you know it's normal you know it's pretty normal the way it'll the way it always goes the election always happens this time it feels like though that everybody is and

I don't know if people if everybody is really bought in more but they say in it the most the most early ballots ever cast but that's because everybody you know but nobody has anything to do you know a lot of people aren't working people can cast their ballots early you know the poll places have been open usually they're open on one day now they're open you know a couple of weeks or whatever it is so you can have the early voting some people know a decision early you know some people don't know a decision really early man but it's it's kind of like a little bit of a Super Bowl it'll be fun you know I always find election night

is kind of a it's a fun night it's fun to watch and see it all kind of come in and and see how it shakes out you know I think that Trump will win the election I just think that I people say who do you think will win I think he will win the incumbent I think it's called let me look it up in been currently holding office the incumbent usually wins that second term I think George W. Bush was the last fellow that could not handle that couldn't handle it all so they you know they belted him out but the incumbent usually wins so did I bet a couple grand that Trump would win yes I did yes I did so we'll see now did I

have that money because Bryce Mitchell won the other day yes I do yes I do thank you Bryce Mitchell I don't know if anybody watched the MMA's but Bryce Mitchell got it done over there and he had a great fight against Philly and both them a great fighter sometimes I want the fight to go on for 16 rounds 17 round want to see him I want to have one round where they just tickle each other you know just full-body tickling no crotch or nothing but the rest of the body you know you know non sensual kind of regions or whatever they call it but but anyway yeah I wanted to have this episode today you know we I think we're

gonna start coming out on Tuesday you know not doing Sunday night give me a little bit more a little bit more about I can enjoy my weekend I can plan a weekend and enjoy it so we're gonna see how it goes and you know it's all a learning curve but I appreciate you guys being here with me and and just being a part of my life and especially being a part of this this past weekend I really do you know um what else is going on I went to Baton Rouge over the weekend go trick-or-treating with the kiddos out there some kid called me a fag actually some little little kid in the street he called me an American fag and then he

laughed and him and his friends laughed and they run scooters and I don't know whatever what else happened oh some some guy said oh are you dressed are you dressed as Theo the comedian Theo von the comedian and I just kind of looked at him he's like that's awesome man and then he walked off I thought that was kind of interesting you know I don't and I also the more I was thinking about I don't know if I think the Democratic Party expects to win really you know when you think about it they put up an older guy you know they just they there hasn't been a ton of campaigning by him by Biden I don't know if they expect to win I

almost feel like they don't expect to win but also what do I know what do I know you know not too much really I'm one guy who just you know who has one vote and and that'll be that and I'm glad that I don't get to make the choices I'm glad that I only have one vote because that means that it's it's not all on me isn't that nice has one nice thing about the way it's set up here the system you get one coin in the well and if you're lucky they count it that's the wildest thing a lot of countries they go throw the coin every year nobody they don't even count that bitch there's somebody in the bottom just catching

coins and buying themselves a new you know new Sega you know new Atari 6000 or whatever it is PlayStation so hopefully our votes count that's what I do you know that's one thing that I like to romanticize sometimes is that our votes do count but I'm coming out to you out here from the central east and a lot of calls came in a lot of beautiful people and just wanted to make sure that we got an episode in to stay on track and just to let you know that you know that this podcast will be here for you every week or that we're going to try and do our best to be here for you every week the same way that you've been here for me

every week and in the last thing you know I'll say really on the politics side is that I think we're quickly headed towards multiple parties you know we were too diverse these days in our series in our in our thoughts and in our our cares and our compassion and our passions to not have more choices you know imagine if you just still had two flavors of of ice cream it's just time for more parties and I think we're headed there I think by the time the next election comes around hopefully there will be you know stronger options out of different channels because I do believe that people are getting more fired up

about politics overall and that's exciting you know it's kind of crazy when you go in there to choose on the election time you go in there and dude you look at the first two the president and then after that sometimes we'll have a senator or something and after that dude there's like 30 things and you're just like most people are like I don't know I just start filling in whoever has a nickname oh spicy Williams oh check on that bitch you feel me oh rocky crab check on that bastard oh buzz there's always some guy named buzz you know oh there he is right there Harry buzz Watson oh we got to have buzz in there you

can't have a spicy and not have a buzz so oh knuckles all right we'll do with knuckles bruh we'll do a knuckles that's how I start voting just by nickname if you have a nickname you get my vote that's how I usually am after a president so you know I don't know man either way I got to go to work what else let's get into some some of the episode and some of the calls as always the hotline [phone] and we asked who listens to the episodes last time and so let me throw some some of the re retorts we had occur right here here we go hey Theo this is Andrew from Atlanta Georgia what's up Andrew over there from

Atlanta baby in Atlanta man that is but Atlanta is about the most urban city you can get I mean it is blacktastic baby I mean it is you know it's like black history months you know started a city so if you like to you know you love hip hop all of that the Falcons they got everything over there in Atlanta onward let me just start off by saying I love the podcast man me and my dad listen to it every day pretty much or every time there's a new episode at least I'm a senior in high school man oh you could finish that man see high school is easy man I'm gonna be honest with you looking back there's some kids

that didn't finish high school welcome bro you know what I'm saying it's high school log it's high school if you even know 1492 you get half the answers right if you read the scarlet letter you get four out of five answers right so I mean that's an 80 right there that's a C onward out here in Atlanta you wanted to know who's calling into your show I work at Duncan Donuts bro and I've been working there for two fucking years now man oh damn you've been a long time slinging them sweet breads baby you've been a long time stacking them sugar does huh and you don't sound thick man a lot of times if somebody's been working

around sugar to saliva gets thick you know when their dick gets slow and their body gets slow but you sound healthy man you sound pretty lean to be over there in that donut domicile gang brother onward so it's a lot man but I know all about them Donna talk about that coffee you know that bean juice we got out there brother oh yeah I feel you man and I'm glad to know that somebody out there in a Duncan Donut world is hitting us is hitting the podcast I'm glad to know man because I've had a couple Bavarian creams baby and I'm not talking about Donna's baby I'm talking about a couple big girls in my life you

feel me you know kind of girl you kiss her and you end up a little bit of custard in your mouth you know what I'm saying and amen PG baby praise God but thank you for listening man and um and God bless you and God bless your daddy over there too y'all eating Donuts together you know a little family E Claire it's a family eclair it's a family eclair alright let's see who else listens on what's up Emily Duvall and Jacksonville is a good place to get electrocuted by a downstop light you know I've been in Jacksonville a couple time and you'll see a couple downstop light somebody goes up you know some

homeless dude goes over there to pick it up and see if there's you know any drugs under it and he gets zapped out so praise God baby on work I'm a paralegal by day and a chili's worker by night oh damn I gotta hear that again and a chili I'm a paralegal by day and a chili's worker by night oh man I like that you know one thing I heard about chilies is that they don't really have a grill in the back that they draw on all the grill stuff onto the food and they just put it in a microwave but that um but that doesn't mean that you're not you know a great person and what is a paralegal what is that a narc dude I

remember at school to have a narc sometimes and a narc is some little dude who's really kind of like a little bitch he's the kind of dude he's afraid to smoke dope so he's gonna wrap people out and in the cops every year they you know they invite over his family and they give him a little merit badge or some but you know some little something fake little little lasso or something say want to be on it you know PD want to be and he gots a little lasso you know in a little little plastic badge or something he breaks that bitch out or something come on man come on so yeah I don't know if that's a narc or not but

uh paralegal sounds sounds like that onward that hitter I listen to your podcast all day long that work at the law office sometimes I have to catch myself from laughing catch myself from crying sometimes but I'm listening to your episode on Monday morning from this past week and listen here and you listen to the rain is probably the best thing that I could have listened to all week just how is that rain outside it's it's the little things in life and had kind of a rough week this week starting a new week and have to say that that put me in a happy place and ready to get going I appreciate it man well thank you

sweetheart that's enough that's that's kind of you to share that moment yeah you know it is it is those little things that really kind of remind you of you know like a somebody listening to the rain or if you see a little baby's feet if you see a little baby's feet man it beautiful and in Vietnam brah I'm not lying I'll eat a damn baby's foot and you didn't hear it from me but you know it's you know it's possible but but yeah there's just some things that just kind of make you feel good and yeah I was excited man you just you know it's just been so long it's just been so long since you get that weather on even a

semi-regular basis just to see some leaves blow by or you know you see a little kid out there some little fat kid with a kite and he's like daddy it might pick me up it might blow me away and I look over at the daddy me and daddy and both know a little thick you know little thick of us little thick Nick ain't getting lifted up by a kite baby boy but but it's just nice to see that moment you know yeah life has this these little moments man that remind us that it all makes perfect sense you know that we're at the bank and that it all makes perfect sense you can close the cash drawer baby thank you for calling

though and thank you for listening my baby girl I mean not man but thank you for listening and whether you a narc or whether you slinging them a Chinese you know the whatever it is called Alaskan egg rolls or whatever y'all have it chilies makes girlfriend love them and her and her family would drive 100 miles to go to a damn chilies you know one time they you know they'll be crying and stuff because it's closed look get it together let's take another call here we go and as always the hotline [phone] hey Theo this is crossfire Joanie up in southern California and I just want to

tell you I just love your show you're doing a great job thank you so much I have a question for you just getting over cancer and my hair is gone thank you for calling in crossfire Joanie and and I'm sorry that you have cancer you know I haven't had it but I'm sure I'll probably have it and cancer you know cancer is it's that ninth reindeer or whatever you know and that bitch is a gangster let's hear more I'm starting to grow back but it's still gone and I'm wondering what do you think do you think I should wear a hat or do you think I should just go all natural okay let me back it up again I'm just getting over

cancer and my hair is gone I'm starting to grow back but it's still gone yeah hair don't like cancer if you have cancer your hair will leave you know and that's age old that's a you know that's the cat chasing his tail right there let's hear more and I'm wondering what do you think do you think I should wear a hat or do you think I should just go all natural you think I want to get your opinion on that all natural or a hat or a scarf or something like that oh baby girl you got to get a little get your little hat get your little crown get your little crown baby wake up with the king mama get that BK get that BK headpiece

get your whopper and get that free hat do you know what I'm saying you could do something beautiful on your head I think enjoy it embrace that beautiful little bald top you know and you can even flirt with the guys say hey the curtains match the drapes you know and then like you don't have any hair and you'd be like gang gang so I think there's some real opportunity there but y'all say get your beautiful little hat get your little you know get you that frickin little scalp cardigan or something get you one of them little Jewish hats that little you know the little hair wallet that they wear get your six

or seven of them stack them bitches up Lily Pad your whole damn head up but I think be yeah be magical you know get a damn edible hat you talking to somebody it's going well you break them off a day you know 30 calories of your cap man it's something that's beautiful but I think those are some things you could do but I think you embrace it and it sounds like you already are I think it's you know I think it's sweet that you even asked me I think it's brave you know I think it's brave of you and you could also grow that skull it you could grow that skull it and that's when you're going out of business in the front but you still

partying in the back get that hang time off the back that gang plant um what else could you do some cute barrettes maybe get you a couple of barrettes little canaries or something you could do some ear piercings that could be fun but you know it puts it in perspective because I'm always worried about my hair and I'm worried about how I look and I'm worried about this and that and here you are you know you can't you can't even bring a hair to the show right now but you still showing up and that's cool you know you can do the key mullet where you got that chemo but a little bit of mullet off the back but

I see I say be just as brave as you have been in defeating cancer I say you be just as brave and sprouting something beautiful up top and have fun with it because you just even you calling and asking this is uh is inspiring because you're just making me you're making everybody that's listening right now realize man what am I worried about you know what am I worried about I'm worried about how I look if my if my you know if my leggings match my neck brace or whatever if you were in an accident or something after a you know cardio class or whatever and the truth is that you know we got little ladies out here

beating cancer and you know just saying hey do I go had or no hat yeah but here's what I say put a damn nipple on the top of your head and break out that third titty tell them it's that third titty baby but I think you're beautiful for calling and I and just thank you for brightening my day by sharing your experience you know because you share your experience and your strength and your hope right there all in one and that's pretty remarkable I feel information today that today's episode is brought to you by ship station you know the holiday season is here it really is and that's surprising you know but it's

here and holiday shoppers are buying more stuff online than ever before and if you're an online seller which I hope a lot of people are these days my friend Tim just opened up a dang Etsy shop on his phone or something and he's he told me the other day said hey I'm doing Etsy and I said well look man do you need a sponsor you know do you you know you want to be a narcotics anonymous he said no Etsy I said oh okay man okay my bad my bad but the choice for helping your shipping needs is ship station it's the fastest easiest most affordable way to manage and ship your orders in just a few clicks your managing orders printing

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station for free baby mm-hmm you get it for free for 60 days you get ship station for free when you use promo code Theo make sure your business can meet the demands of this massive online shopping season it's going to be one of the biggest ever you want to be prepared you want to be prepared now get started at shipstation.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in Theo that's shipstation.com then enter offer code Theo for 60 days free that'll get you through the holidays try it out now shipstation.com make ship happen first I'm gonna let you know this episode is brought to you by better

help you know I recently started seeing a new therapist and I'm glad that I did and I went two times last week and I'm gonna have to do zoom this week because I'm not in Los Angeles but everybody needs some help I think we all need someone to talk to especially as times get more and more disconnected as humans do you know and actually really disconnected of sharing our feelings you know there's a broad range of expertise and better helps counselor network which may not be locally available in many areas you know you might have a problem with sex addiction or with drugs or alcohol you know you

may need a counselor that can really be specific and they may not have in your area they might just have a like a veterinarian and you go to there and you tell it dude all your problems and he bugging you know he neuters you you like this this ain't gonna help better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available better help wants you to start living a happier life today visit betterhelp.com slash Theo that's B E T T E R H E L P and join the over 500,000

people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional and we have a special offer for this past weekend listeners get 10 percent off your first month at betterhelp.com slash Theo that's betterhelp.com slash T H E O let's take another call in here as always a hotline nine eight five six six four nine five zero three. Hey Theo this is Garrett Callaway I live in a small town in Oklahoma called Southall. Hey Garrett thank you for calling my friend and happy election time to you and thank you for calling. I work with mentally disabled adults with what I do so it can be a pretty pretty wild day

at work but I just want to tell you and ask you how you would respond in this situation okay passing morning meds you know not always do they take them but you know the meds you know okay so you giving out morning medication there and you that slanger. Got the oxy you got the Xanax you got all that I'm recovering addicts so it's hard when you got a refrigerator you know a refrigerator fire oh yeah when you get messed up enough on pill you start saying the ox of a bet that's what we used to call it if somebody was too high on pills and they start saying it.

yeah that's that alpha bet man that's the ox for bet if people's on too much oxy kinds bruh and they trying to do letters onward brother pharmacy sitting right next to your office makes it tough anyways they don't always want to take their meds well they can go 90 nothing real quick. Hey man man you got to hit him with that Mary Poppins you know you got hit him with that spoon full of sugar dog gang. He went to his room and I don't know if he was stashing this thing or if he just just done it right there and then brought it back but he brought a full turd and he threw that motherfucker and it hit right next to me

whoo yeah man well look I think we used to have this fellow growing up named Kyle with two Y's and he and his parents would even get a little bit it was Kyle you had to you had to kind of ride that that second syllable for a second but um he uh but Kyle would uh he could you know turd in his hand or do a turd or do whatever they call it and I think it was his I never saw him actually do it but he always had one near him or on him or whatever he threw it up in the air bro high as a son I mean this thing you know this thing new NASA and he could come down have it land right on his arm like a hawk just right on his

arm like a damn hawk man like that booty hawk so you know there are a lot of people there's a lot of people doing everything out there juggling everything and yeah they say if you get hit by somebody through you know somebody you know huh I'm a turd that you get hit by that's seven more weeks of winter I think is the old saying but anyway man let's hear more and this thing was hard like it didn't even hit in crumble it didn't hit in splatter okay it thank God didn't splatter but it hit and just fell straight down all right well y'all got to hydrate them boys over there in the words of Dustin Poirier you're gonna stay

hydrated down there you know you can't be having dehydrated people also on oxycons you know just all strung out like a damn cactus man so look keep them hydrated buddy and uh maybe that's you know this dude's just trying to let you know he needs more he's trying to show you by example hey look daddy I'm obviously missing some moisture so you might be able to help him out right there but thank you for the call man and stay safe man and wear you know wear a visor and that's the number one preventer of getting faced out by a by a booty piece man is that visor baby but uh yeah Kyle catch that thing right

on his arm man I remember he tried to get a job at the Renaissance fair he went over there one time about a fairgrounds and hummed up a little you know just just a real just uh I mean just hum this little booty just a little damn booty rascal high up into the air and caught that thing right on his arm god it was beautiful just laying just just with it you know no bounce just just like damn Dominic Mosciani so let's see who else listens to the pod man here we go what's up the other day from Georgia what's up David how you doing brother thank you for calling your know who you're paying for so you go boy I want

to try a service making them think you back row of dollars okay you picking up garbage baby trash and you know what they say one man's trash is another man's trash nowadays man on work always listening riding the truck riding on the back of the truck driving the truck doing paperwork dumping this trash dumping that trash you know gov'r stuff big fan of show man keep up the good work and a little PS to my customers out there to all y'all throw away them beer cans of blunt wrap they could say for me dang there you go he said you got to think of your local garbage man if you're gonna put a beer or a blunt wrap out there

that's fine with him you know nobody ever thinks about that leave something nice for your garbage man leave my little six pack you don't think he needs a damn beer leave my little something a little Ben and Yaris out there something you know a little haggard ass baby little friendlies ice cream leave my little pint of something special a little bit of grilled rocky road you know we forget about that that we these boys are good people out there may want the you know we can leave my little something a little treat especially around the holidays think about that leave you trash man something nice that's a good

idea I'm gonna try it this week I'm gonna try to leave something nice out there for the garbage man he comes on Thursday so I'm gonna try to leave him something nice what else we got here man thank you for listening man I do appreciate that and and thank you for picking up the trash you know we want to get a garbage man in here so we knew we want to get somebody in here that who does garbage or who's done garbage you know past tense who else here we go what's up Theo this is David out in Aubrey Texas what's up David out there in Texas man and my friend just moved to Texas man no he didn't actually my bad

onward just catching up on your podcast and you're wanting to know who all's listening so building superintendent out here residential construction so driving around a lot have a lot of time in my truck so get to listen to your podcast so you loitering that's called loitering David I'm gonna tell you that straight up man and that's fine you know I appreciate loiterers man I love the French I love anybody that you know staying active and driving around and just looking at stuff that's called lurking as well baby let's hear more just want to let you know I've listened to every single episode of yours damn no

matter what listen through it all the way from the first second to the last second and man you do awesome work so appreciate it but man yeah I love everything you're doing thanks for just keeping us in tune with ourselves love you bro gang gang gang man thanks man wow that's wild man I that's crazy man thank you so much man thanks for checking it out you know I definitely had some moments this weekend where I was like man I'm sorry I just can't believe that I get to have this job and you know and just get to share what's going on with me and and and and I try to share what's going on with you too you know

with the hotline and and you guys do a great job of that and skitters thank you thank you guys for letting me be a part of this group you know I mean that there's so many times where you know I feel like I don't have nothing and then I'm immediately brought to the reality of the fact that man you got a lot of people that care and you guys remind me of that constantly man so thank you thank you very much stay safe out there David well you basically a peeping time it sounds like many driving through neighborhoods daddy dude I would love it if a peeping time got busted and he was listening to this

past weekend that'd be pretty cool I mean that'd be next level all right let's hear something else here one more call that came in of who listens to the podcast gang gang baby thank you for calling in Colin and Cincinnati a friend of mine got beat up by a couple of urban women one time and he was trying to hold on to some milkshakes and they and he they kept beating him and he kept spilling a little bit each time they beat him down my friend Gary onward I'm a janitor at a middle school man I tell you what I'll be walking around here cleaning up these little snotty ass rags and all these little tangy rappers and

whatnot oh yeah man little detention thoughts all them little children you know you out there a goodwill hunting man and I'm glad you're not a pedophile brahman I'm glad that um you know that you just doing the work out there and getting it done yeah man these little kids I saw some kid this weekend he said oh he said if I if I he goes if you die can I have all your YouTube subscribers I said they savages man they're savages without the tribe a lot of these children man but I'm blessed that you listen man thank you for thank you for for checking it out what else we got I'm sorry to just be going through calls

this week but it's just kind of where I've been and and I just wanted to make sure that I kept I was gonna wait till later in the week to do an episode but I say you know I just gotta show up I gotta be there and get this episode out for this week and in the beginning of the week and there's a lot of people are gonna be watching the election and and you know it's yeah I mean it's look I know some people it's a really serious thing and I respect that you know it's just tough right now I'm personally at a space where I just don't I don't like the way they have us all fighting against each other you know when you

look at the different news sites and it's the only thing and of course the polls they say it's close because they don't that's that's how they keep us coming back you know and I think just in a bigger space I'm just worried about how addicted we are to the information into the you know to that next thing to that next hit and they've just had us fighting a lot you know I talk about it sometimes they've just had us fight and I don't want to not like people because of their political views you know I don't want that I don't want to not like people because of what they think politically I might not agree with them

but I for years in my life I haven't agreed with people of what their beliefs I used to it used to not even be that big of a deal in Los Angeles it's a bigger deal out here in the central east it's not as big as most people are just kind of living their lives they're gonna vote somebody will win blah blah blah but it's definitely become a more marketable thing over this past four years I think and also this just my perception I could be totally wrong but I don't want to not love or care about people because of their our views might be different you know if they say something I don't have to chime in with

my side it's hard to do though that shit is hard to do all right let's take another call right here what are daddy this is a reddit from Lugolf South Carolina what's up reddit and you name after JJ reddit one of my favorite players and he plays for the New Orleans Hornets and he's that three-point shooter daddy he's that Chris Kyle baby he's gunning from deep man they usually they should have a ladder right next to him because that dude is the shooting from the deep end you feel me gang oh so I got a situation of there's a girl a lot of them been dating there for six years and I'm thinking about asking her

to ask her to marry me dude wow man you think about getting that marriage going off oh okay man okay you that crazy cat and but I'm scared to ask your dad for her hand and I'm just wondering what I should do should I take them out to dinner to ask her to ask them to step off to the side you're like hey can I marry your daughter or like any suggestions dude I appreciate it man that's a tough one I would not take him to dinner because you get there what if y'all having a little side salad you ask him he says no and then you got to finish a whole fish dish in front of the dude you trying to down some group or

knowing that dude hates you that's gonna be a that's that's gonna be a slow swallow brother and then what if he orders dessert that dude already hates you and now he's ordering dessert you're like I mean you could freaking you could you could torch the top of that creme brulee with your stare I bet at that point yeah I would just take him aside man I'd go meet him one on one I wouldn't do a phone call I wouldn't text him either that's shady bro I would take him off side to side you know just meet him somewhere for a few minutes and don't meet him somewhere kind of nice if you can you know we're somewhere we can

both get away quick a rest area or you know like a maybe a Pete's coffee house or don only for been a Donnie's coffee I don't know if it's a chain or not Donnie's coffee they got like this big mule kind of thing outside but anyway but dang man that's cool bruh you going the old-fashioned route asking the dad gonna get the the blessing it's a beautiful time of year the holidays are coming up you know we one thing that's beautiful to see is people thinking about it you know every the news just saying oh the election election people are thinking about other stuff people are living their lives that's

what that's what we got to keep doing that's what they don't want they don't want us to keep having our own free will I believe that baby all right let's get into another voicemail here here we go man I'm watching episode last week and you're wondering who who's out there listening so you know I'm a I'm a business owner and and a good father but also living my sister's basement on an air mattress and I'm an ex-convict and amen brah always wanted to be an ex-convict I'm honestly thank you for calling onward I'm looking around this this playroom that I live in and thinking

about the days when I was an ex-convict and wishing you know maybe that I would snuck in the iPod and been able to listen to this past weekend would have made my time quicker because you know now that I'm down here and staring at all my snacks and my mini fridge in my my bachelor pad here you know I just want to say I'm I'm grateful for a little bit of entertainment from you on a on a Sunday morning well I think about it's rough well I think about you know not being with my daughter and my family anymore but if I get off the phone I can keep listening to that so shake out some of this uh it's bad energy so thanks

man I appreciate you know what you do gang brah gang gang thanks for calling man um yeah and I wouldn't call that bad energy man I appreciate you sharing kind of what's going on you know I think a lot of us when you share that we can relate to being somewhere and missing someone that we love or not being able to be a part of a system of love that we're not you know directly connected with anymore at the moment but it sounds like a couple of things to me so much you know and I know you're not asking for any of my suggestions or anything man so yeah I guess I won't really share anything like

that but you know just thanks for sharing man and I believe that God has you know powerful things in store for you and powerful feelings and powerful connections with your own family and who knows who with who knows with how many others you know but I think we can all relate to that feeling that there's somebody out there right now and they you know you wish you could be with them if times were different or if circumstances were different or if things hadn't played out the way that they could that they did and and I don't think it sounds you know weak you saying that I just think it sounds like you

sounds like you're grateful for where you're at and it really sounds like you're really grateful for those people that you're you know your daughter or whatever that you're not allowed to be or that you're not able to be around right now and I don't know a lot I shouldn't have said that but that you're not able to be around because I'll tell you this people you know who to you wouldn't have any feelings about it if you didn't care you know and I think God can feel us caring you know so just keep keeping on man you know you can do it bro I really believe that you can do it and and it sounds like you are and I

think that the gifts man I can just tell when I hear your voice that the gifts are just you know it's all gonna be there it's just probably gonna take a little while and I know I don't know that I'm just saying that but yeah just thank you for sharing man because I think that just puts everything in a perspective for a lot of us yeah we're all gonna vote for some rich you know egomaniac in the next 24 hours but the real votes or what do we do with our time what do we do with our love what do we do with our with our emotions you know do I vote to invest those

into people that I care about do I vote to to do something nice for somebody you know do I vote to call a hotline and just let the world know that I love my daughter you know I when I think man I would love it if I had an audio recording of one of my parents from when I was young just letting just a voicemail recording of them just saying it you know just letting it be known that they love me you know so anyway man I'm not trying to harp on your call but I just wanted to say thanks for sharing that bro and ex ex convict is fucking pretty gangster dog you know that's pretty freaking G and if Trump wins do you be

able to do you'll be able to work forever dog you know if anybody wins all these people are ex convicts man it's a dirty world out there man it's a dirty world man and we got each other we got it all man we got life bro and we got each other man and I'm thankful for that so what else man I don't know man what do you you like indoors or outdoors Riley now I prefer the outdoors yeah why is that I don't there's just something special about living outdoors like I was in scouts obviously and I've always loved camping and when you but once you go outdoors you build a tent right you go right back indoors kind of kind of

yes however sometimes whenever I camp I sometimes don't even bring a tent sleep under the stars oh okay dang yeah what's been up man how was your how was the Halloween weekend man it was fantastic I gotta say oh wow what did you dress up what happened no I didn't dress up I just hung out with a few friends at at their apartment just hung out at night that sounds kind of what would I it sounds kind of Mulan Rouge a little bit you hung out at night who was his group was it just so yeah so it was a friend of mine and his girlfriend and then his girlfriend's friend from back at home in Memphis oh dang so it was a quad was it

a quad tuplet or whatever four of you yeah okay nice man and what did you guys get into anything fun we did a few drinking games everyone tried to get me drunk and it was great and which your preferred drink of choice man there's something called a chauffeur-hofer which is it's a German drink they have all these different flavors my favorite is the grapefruit because my my buddy back at home Andrew he's he's German and he actually gave me that as my first drink to have and that's my favorite all-time drink damn favorite all-time baby nice man what else has been going on anything else um I mean I had I had my I had a

first lot of firsts I should say really mm-hmm like what do you mean like a like a try to guess okay well you said you'd had a drink before so I'm guessing it's not your first drink nope let me thank your first um doing fireworks or something nope I've always I've always done fireworks on 4th of July amen bro that um your first you and you don't do drugs right I don't huh what happened um let's just say I had I had a first interaction with a lady what bro you mean like a like what do you mean like first like are we talking sex I guess are we talking okay no okay sorry and maybe I was jumping in conclusions there

and that was I'm obviously a tramp but um no you're good what so first kiss maybe yep bingo no way yeah it was it was great it was a good time no what and so what happened take me through some of that you got this so wait this is what the your buddy's girlfriend's friend buddy's girlfriend's friend yes um yeah so she is from the west west side of Tennessee and she came by and so we were just hanging out and it was great and when you saw it first and you know there was any interest or no no I didn't think of anything at all that was the weird part and so I mean actually that was the normal part for me of course and I was

like okay you know you know she's friends you know whatever so we were hanging out having a good time and there are some times where like so let me skip forward a little my my buddy Joe he texted me because we were all sitting next to each other so he texted me he was like hey dude look at the signs and he was like yeah dude that's all I'm gonna say I was like hmm so I've been thinking past like that was later that night so I was thinking all the other like hours in the night and I was like mmm that totally makes sense so I was like okay oh it all came in it all made sense at that point right that juncture

right called a juncture and yeah so we ended up watching a nightmare before Christmas and I was I was kind of drunk I was like not feeling great and so she was like yeah do you want to sit on the couch and I was like yeah that would probably be great so she took my hand so she took the lead it sounds like she did but the thing is when she took my hand she didn't take it you know like you know just holding on to me or whatever grab my arm or whatever no she literally did the full-on like closed hand you probably can't see it because of the monitor but I can't see it it's um that guy oh well a full closed hand thing at

interlocking fingers and I was like hmm okay I can roll with this so then you guys are sitting on the couch so yeah we were sitting on the couch and it was it was all four of us we were watching the nightmare before Christmas and were you nervous I'm at well at that point I was like okay you know this is this is fine I didn't think anything about like you know first kiss or anything like that so I was like okay you know I was totally fine like you know she she was comforting me it was great she was cuddling with me slowly more and more and I was like hmm okay I'm liking this dang boy and so then erect bro so then

my my my friend Joe and his girlfriend they went down to pick up some cookout from one of my friends that brought it for us now that's always the moment bro when so when the other couple leaves the room suddenly the heat is on right he took his girl with him yeah he took his girl with them and I knew what he was getting at of course man that's broco shit bro so then after they left we were talking a little bit and then yeah we just yeah she made the first move and it was great yeah a lot of firsts for me I gotta say because that's also a first her making the first move wow and so how long did it last quite

some time I gotta say yeah huh the just Lockwood ellipse over here dang bro and so was there any likes was it did you guys just kiss for a moment separate was there like a snuggle at night or was the news it was a snuggle it was a nice snuggle I gotta hang were you pretty drunk at that time no I wasn't and you did you get drunker no okay no so I know for a fact it was definitely real it was definitely something not just drunk in this so did you get her number what's the deal man I have her number have friends scram snapchat all of that you have mail and yeah it was there's a lot of fun so she's back at home but I've

been texting her back and forth wow you think there's something up maybe possibly yeah yeah we were talking about it maybe but she's coming back I think she is oh yeah she comes back to Nashville about once a month I found out mm-hmm it's suddenly how suddenly they come back once a month you know just the old it's the way it is man exactly wow rally now you're growing up brother first kiss ever huh yeah yeah I'm pretty excited it was a great time dude that's awesome man that's awesome man and it was she a redhead maybe how'd you know I just felt is she really yeah I just felt it man oh well yeah I just felt it yep

she is amen man well we'll see man it's probably downhill from here overall I'm just saying it so you know it's I mean it's uphill but it's right it gets to be a rocky road brother true you know there's a dull tree there's all kind of stuff but but you're just starting out man and that's what's important dude I'm happy for you man thank you yep and I appreciate you sitting in here and being a part of the episode um yeah that's it man love wins you know rally yeah for sure definitely you know people are going through everything you know people are you know getting beaten cancer people are you know well overcoming their

past people are getting their first kiss people are starting a new workout routine people are learning a real love people that they had loved before you know people are learning to let go people are you know being brave and asking you know asking some girls dad for the hand and marriage and people are sweeping up after kiddos and people are living life man that's what's important you know get out there and live life did it make you feel more alive yeah it did for sure yeah I love that man oh we'll go out the way that we came in man with each other for one and then with the Cordovas and do more good I want to let

you know that whoever you support politically that's perfectly that's great and I would never try to sway anybody in any direction your reality is your reality and we just do our best man we do our best y'all be good to yourselves gang we're the young and the old sick and the cold ones just long to get out of control the ones that are calm and the ones that will fold and everyone's standing around the table the meek and the mild the weak and the wild the ones who won't speak this mean to a child those who have lived with their feet to

the fire and the gay and very miserable jailer hey I love my own ain't gonna quit that goes double for you gonna do more good gonna talk less shit and that's about all I can do now the free and the chain the simple plane the ones that just can't seem to hit where they aim the ones that get by on their family name those who have no one to call on the freaks and the prideful the peaks and the owls the ones that just wait till their dreams are all stifled most too afraid to admit they didn't lie to martyrs but no soul to fall

hey I love my own ain't gonna quit that goes double for you gonna do more good gonna talk less shit and that's about all I can do gonna do more good gonna talk less shit and that's about all I can do look out ladies Raleigh Mao is on the prowl