This Past Weekend - E308 Medium Debbie

Episode Date: November 20, 2020

Theo talks about the differences between campers and the homeless, gives advice on how to make a good "Best Man" speech, meeting with the promiscuous Medium Debbie in the window and how to apply "Ask ...her out" to all facets of your life.   New Merch https://theovonstore.com  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by:   Faherty https://fahertybrand.com/theo for 25% off   Magic Mind https://magicmind.co and use promo code THEO for 10% off   Betterhelp https://betterhelp.com/theo for 10% OFF your First Month   Bridge Credit Solutions https://bridgecreditsolutions.com/theo   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn   "Makin' It" - Bishop Gunn https://bit.ly/3kLavV9   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Hit the Hotline  985-664-9503   Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Find Theo   Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastw...  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEK...   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis   Associate Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Medium Debbie baby I don't know where to begin man that's what I feel sometimes I don't know where I don't know where to begin you know I think a lot of people during the during this pandy have been feeling like like just they don't know where they are in the stream you know it used to be before the the disease came you knew if you were you know if you were a salmon if you were swimming upstream looking to have an egg or something have a baby you knew if you were a frog you were kind of sitting on the bank kind of watching things go on you knew if you were a snake you know you kind of knew where you were in the stream and now I
Starting point is 00:01:05 kind of feel like the stream has just gotten it's cold a second you know the stream is backing up I mean it's the river's coming up in people's toilets I don't you know sometimes I just don't know I just I was in the current before I felt like okay I'm in this current and I know the banks I've come from and I know the you know the tributaries that have created me and the world had this flow to it and now it's like damn I don't know if I'm on the you know I don't know if I'm on the Titanic or if I'm a tadpole it just gets you know the structure is kind of disappearing a little bit from society I feel like a little bit so I
Starting point is 00:02:03 think I just got to stay in the flow you know you can't get stagnant you know it's the you know I sometimes I'm gonna I would just want to be on the side hanging on to a branch but but life's changing up man life is changing up just the war it's different out there it's just you know things are start the structure of things is starting to disappear maybe your favorite Don at shop it's shut down you know maybe your your friend used to breed dogs y'all would go over there and watch a couple dogs dick down a beagle or whatever and now that's shut down you know somebody used to do a snow cone stand and now they you know
Starting point is 00:02:59 they're doing drugs and it's gone it's just you know the river's changing the banks are changing so I'm just trying to stay current you know I'm just trying to just keep I'm just trying to keep just keep kicking my legs man you know I'm trying to just keep kicking my legs and I hope you are too and I'm happy to be with you guys today from the central east out here and I don't know exactly what I'm talking about but then again I never really have man you know when I was young they had when I was young a lot of people couldn't read you know you'd meet a guy he don't even he just standing there with a book he don't you know
Starting point is 00:03:50 he's trying to you know squeeze a glass of water out of it or something like what are you doing you know that's you know that's not for that some people couldn't read you know you see a guy he really you know he he'll have a book but he trying to feed it to a pigeon well damn that's the wrong idea Rodney that's not that's not for that people couldn't read every you know nowadays most people can read or at least guess what a book is about but when I was young it was different man it was different times are changing man the current is changing but remember who your waves are baby we got each other man we got each other let's
Starting point is 00:04:42 get into the episode come on Bishop gum baby give me back to it stay in the river baby just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home and my mind is somewhere else but when I find it I'll patch up where it's been wrong now I'm just putting on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone when I reach that right I'll share this baby I can feel it in my bone same old stream baby but it's gonna take a little time live from the central east for me to set that parking brake and let myself
Starting point is 00:05:53 on why shine that light on me come on baby I sit and tell you my story shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you oh yeah and that's beautiful tune right there and you know that the shine my bishop gun a band that is disbanded and disbanding is when you leave each other somebody's got an ego somebody's got a drugs somebody's got an angry wife and somebody don't have any gas money and somebody owns all the copyrights and shit falls apart man and that's disbanding they call it but one of my favorite groups of all time probably one of the premier groups I mean if you
Starting point is 00:07:07 divided damn Steven Tyler up into about eight people you'd have a bishop gun and that's their song shine man and that makes me feel familiar you know when I hear that song I feel familiar I feel like a sense of like familiarity and man I like familiarity is something for me it's like putting on a it's like suddenly the world is made out of sweatpants and a hoodie you know that's familiarity for me and you know during Corvid a lot of familiarity is what's you know it's been kind of eroding a little you know the fabric of our lives like they say on that commercial Haynes or whatever it is or Downey software I
Starting point is 00:08:11 don't know what it is Haynes I think the fabric of our lives panties or whatever but you know what they say on there that you know the fabric of our lives is like society it's the things we're used to you know and it all starts to things just start to adjust a little and I'm not trying to put you down in a in a ditch here I'm just saying you know I'm just I'm just kind of noticing that in my own world like things are adjusting you know people are moving to different places and making changes people are you know the venues that were open before aren't open now so you can't go hear your favorite band you can't go here Dan and
Starting point is 00:08:52 Shay or you know who else man Leon Bridges or juvenile you know you can't go hear your favorite musicians anymore it's just you know things are just changing the place you got that beautiful Don it that place shut down you know the place you used to go buy a little hat for your lady get your lady a hat maybe your lady's kind of you know she's a six out of ten and so you get her a fucking big-ass hat every now and then you know what I'm saying kind of keep her you know tell her it's to keep her safe but you know what's up and that shop's closed things are just changing so we just got to stand tall man you know
Starting point is 00:09:41 and so I'm thinking about that for myself how do I stay the same how do I manage who I am when everything else feels a little bit unmanageable you know you know how do I know where I'm going when the trail is like slow it's kind of just disappearing like you ever see that movie back to the future it's about some basically people that are hitchhiking through a clock and you know the guy's kind of a little bit of a bitch buddy you know he has on a lifejacket and so he always survives no matter where he is but and he died that guy died I think eventually of HIV but the movie the first episode is about he meets
Starting point is 00:10:33 Benjamin not Benjamin Franklin he meets Thomas Alva Edison and what a crazy middle name for a guy Alva but um Thomas Alva Edison he meets that man and and that and it gets you know things kind of hilarity ensues from there but shit man was I talking about um yeah just different time you know it's just you know the but anyway but yeah but the trail that we're on I feel like the woods or everything's just kind of dis it's getting foggy it's getting vague the path that I knew I was on it's just there's more uncertainty now and I'm sure I'm I'm I'm not sure but I'm you know it's just that's what it's like for
Starting point is 00:11:25 me I don't know what it's like for someone else but that's what it's like for me and and it starts to feel you know I it just felt on you start to feel not unsure of yourself but whereas it used to be you were going through the woods on a trail now you're just kind of the woods are the trails kind of disappearing like in those photos on back to the futures the woods it's just dissing you're like damn I don't know I don't know exactly where I'm headed so I just have to focus on where I am I guess you know and today I'm glad that I'm here with you I'm in a safe place and you know I remember for the first time I ever felt a safe place
Starting point is 00:12:21 was when I was probably about 15 maybe and they had a family that lived in a different neighborhood then where I lived and I was you know I was a real stressed out child you know I was all I was rattled baby I had a right you know I just had really I had that rattle in me if you come you know I'm saying you could hear me I had it like a damn catalytic converter with a damn dime in it you know always had a little bit of that rattle and I remember when I got when I was about 15 but these put the cans on quick news life when I was about 15 a family said I could come live with them
Starting point is 00:13:11 and they had an extra bedroom and I got in there I remember the first time I got in that room I closed the door and I just felt like I had some room I felt like I was off the roller coaster I felt like I had a little bit of space I just remember feeling like it was the first time I had my own room and man so I was excited and that night I got high I lived I smoked a joint inside and almost got kicked out of the place but but what I'm trying to say is that uh shit I don't know what I'm trying to say really I don't know man but dude I do remember this they had this girl named Debbie and they called her medium Debbie she wasn't big but she
Starting point is 00:13:58 wasn't little you know in little Debbie had already been kind of taken over by the sugar company by the arm what do they call that a bake I know bakery but I'm thinking of uh it's not a rotisserie past pastisserie let me look it up right here pastisserie and nothing nothing comes up pastisserie and I'm talking about like a pastisserie let me Google it pasties pastisserie patisserie and a patisserie is a shop where pastries and cakes are sold patisserie yeah and so this uh they called her medium Debbie medium Debbie because she had you know she was really kind of big bone you know like a um kind
Starting point is 00:14:55 of big bone like a she had a little bit of great Dane in her but you know heavy cat great Dane that had been on like a heavy calcium diet she you know she was full throttle up in the chest like me you know I'm built like a kind of stove a wagon baby I'm built like a thumb with an attitude dog you know what I'm saying I'm down I'm that downhill bad boy if you catch me on the side to side son I'm ready I'm you know I'll spill my drink but if you got me going barrel and straight downhill son you know the town that's in the valley is they got a bowling ball heading at them but she they call her medium Debbie dude and she
Starting point is 00:15:34 whenever I got into that anyway so anyway I ended up living with these people when I was young and after I got sex for the first time you know I wanted you know once you get sex you want more sex because that's how it works you know apparently what they put in sex is just a lot of good feeling and so once you get that sex you want extra you know you go back for second or third helpings man yeah just put another couple scoops of that ass in there for me you feel me just that kind of vibe but they had this girl named medium Debbie she would come around and she would basically she would put her box she would she'd kind of
Starting point is 00:16:16 knock on a window at night and it would have to be this when I was a senior in high school and she would put her you'd open the window and she would kind of you know she was cool y'all would have a little bit of a cigarette or something and then she would put her body the back part of her body you know that ass and legs you put that in the window front part out of the window kind of keeping a lookout you know like a little bit of that alert warbler and she'd let you kind of do at it she'd let you do it that you know you know make out do a little bit of sex do that with the inside half of her and she put that you know that lower
Starting point is 00:16:53 half of her body in the window and let you ride it she'd let you ride on that thing you know like a jet ski and she say oh you like that white boy and she was white I think or she was she might have been a little bit Native American you know because she had that little thirsty buffalo on her you know what I'm saying is so she like be like oh you like that white boy you like that white boy and you just down you just really feel the vibe you know and one thing I did love about her she had gum on her always she the kind of girl you could put I mean if you're making love to her from behind you can set your gum on her
Starting point is 00:17:28 you know on her back or something or she even I remember had these earrings for a little while that had two little kind of Easter baskets on them just too little just you know just the Lord's little coin purses just you know just Jesus's little return buckets you know just two little Easter baskets just hanging off her ears and she would keep gum in them she would chew gum and she would keep watermelon in that little right bucket and then a mint mint gum on the left and she would you know whatever she was doing business or pleasure she put the one in and when she was done chewing it or needed a holster it she'd lobe that
Starting point is 00:18:08 thing up in that lobe satchel you know but damn that was it you know that's what I liked about being young you know somebody could come by and just put their body in your window and you could do sex and you know enjoy each other's company but nowadays is like you don't even know nowadays you don't even know you spray out of a moving vehicle who you know and it doesn't even mean anything it feels like when I was young you know it just was different we had a fella used to bust out out of the school bus and they had a challenged fella you know this fella had a straight hit of the tizm and he would
Starting point is 00:18:57 catch you know he would fucking he wore a catcher's mitt always and he didn't play on a squad but he was cat you know he was mitted up and he would just you know snag it bruh should have different times man what's going on um what have I been up to well I've been home shopping and when you're home shopping it's hard man you go in and it's like every little thing you don't think about do you want upstairs I mean that's a question you never even asked yourself do you want upstairs and I don't know if I you know I don't know if I like upstairs I guess I guess I do
Starting point is 00:19:48 you know what I do like I like upstairs because like if you're up you upstairs always gives you an excuse somebody's like hey can you honey can you help me get the I'm upstairs you like that white boy honey yeah I am do you you know Randall can't find his uh his dominoes that I'm upstairs yeah I can't breathe I'm upstairs Jesus I'm upstairs so that's one thing I like about upstairs is you always have kind of that get out of a life free card or get out of wife free card or get out of whatever free card you know the the house is on fire I'm upstairs what do you want me to do so that's one thing
Starting point is 00:20:46 upstairs gives you that advantage you know upstairs gives you that advantage of being not having to deal with stuff but you have to ask yourself that do I want to upstairs do I want to pool where somebody could obviously drown if you have a yard if somebody falls down in your yard you know unless you tie a bag of water around their head they're gonna be okay but if your yard is made out of water because it's a pool then they're not and so that's how you got to acquire you know equivalent all that so and then suddenly you're like okay well do I want a dog okay do I need an outside do I need an inside you know it's
Starting point is 00:21:39 just um it's interesting do I want a garage do I not want a garage do I need a fireplace do I like fire that's a big question if you're looking for a home because it's real scary when somebody you know I never had a fireplace growing up you know our place caught on fire a couple times but that was you know that was wasn't by design so when somebody you know somebody says hey man we're gonna give you the opportunity to have fire inside of your house dog that shit seems real sketchy to me it seemed like a real scam by the insurance company hey hey won't you have a little fire in there we'll charge you an extra
Starting point is 00:22:21 G a month because you end up you know you're sitting there in a living room with a couple logs playing Mr. Wizard it's just riskier you know so it's just a lot of things you and yet you know how many rooms do you want well I can only be in one room at a time you know so you know no matter how fast I am so it's like how many rooms do you want well probably five I guess but then some places they don't have five they only got 13 rooms you're like well damn and then you're like well there are friends gonna come over how often are they gonna come over are they gonna come over every day are they gonna come over every year I start
Starting point is 00:23:10 thinking well I want to have a pool you know so if my friends come over you know what what is that gonna be three times a year is that gonna be every you know it's just how many times are friends coming over now it's just different it's just you start to think about a lot of things and different things in a home lead you to different questions about yourself so you know it's just been interesting man it's been interesting what else is going on Pittsburgh stillers 8 and 0 Jerry Olshansky dog think think think don't even come down from that
Starting point is 00:23:58 over there in shinly Park with Cordell Stewart dropping Bee Gees on people you feel me thank you thank you thank you you got a little Pittsburgh man but football even feels different this year you know I'm not as engaged I don't care as much there's it's just there's something happening in the world where it's like the things that had become these pillars of that had become these bumpers these day-to-day bumpers you would bounce off from one to the next and would kind of keep you going down the path some of those are they're disappearing or they're not the same or there you realize that they weren't what
Starting point is 00:24:47 you thought they were and so it's interesting to be you know just still walk it's to still walk the trail not knowing who designed it or where it's going or if this was a path you chose on purpose it's interesting man what else what else is going on with me I've been house shopping I've been oh I watched the Queen's Gambit and look if you and it's not something you're gonna you know touch yourself too so if you're going into it that thing into that some people think the Queen's Gambit they think oh yeah I've seen the Queen's Gambit brothers frickin you know it's that WAP you know but but this is just a show about chess
Starting point is 00:25:59 and everybody knows man I got in a fight with a kid we had to hug each other in the hallway in middle school and he taught me how to play chess and he was kind of violent but then he taught me how to play chess while we were in detention together and and I learned it and I went on to become someone that maybe played two games of chess their entire life but the Queen's Gambit is good if you're a man or woman if you're even an educated 16 year old you'll enjoy it if you're an idiot you will not like it it's not for you man get a dirt bite but the Queen's Gambit is very entertaining and I suggest that it's
Starting point is 00:26:39 amazing when you see a good show how bad you realize the other shows are like you see the Queen's Gambit you're like how is this so good but all of that is garbage man what am I talking about man I guess what I'm always talking about nothing really so how are we supposed to know what's a shop for right now well do what I do don't buy for now buy for forever and the brand that's helping you do that for timeless pieces that will last a lifetime of wear check out Farrity Farrity makes high quality comfortable clothing for life sometimes you see somebody they buy a shirt look like it's only gonna last an hour like
Starting point is 00:27:32 dang bro that's a limited-time tank top cat daddy so go full throttle with Farrity they're sustainably minded designing products with a thoughtful focus on fabric and every piece is made a last a lifetime think about that finally something that's saying hey I'm not gonna give you something that's no good I'm gonna give you something that is good that is worth your investment and that's Farrity man Farrity is committed to community in the environment and all that they do the legend collection actually is legendary I got a couple pieces of it and it is tight I actually had a shirt from there so I didn't
Starting point is 00:28:13 realize it was mine one of my favorite shirts over the past few years was Farrity didn't realize it the quality stands up to everyday wear buying forever is the smartest way to shop and now is the smartest time to do it right now you can get 25% off your next Farrity purchase when you go to Farrity brand.com slash Theo that's F-A-H-E-R-T-Y brand Farrity brand.com slash T-H-E-O for 25% off Farrity brand.com slash Theo dress for whenever forever that's what they can do for you you got to respect that somebody says hey buddy we're gonna take care of you forever I want to let you know right now well I want to
Starting point is 00:29:04 let you know that the studio is coming along better and we're taking care of it and I'm grateful to the people that have been helping me and I'm grateful to you guys for being supportive as we as we gear it along and figure out it's a lot of moving pieces where are we gonna live where's it gonna be part-time full-time you know it's just like the you know like I was talking about earlier with the things around us everything shape-shifting and you don't know if you got a Rubik's Cube or a or a damn eight ball you just don't know what's happening but I know this man is that I need help and I have friends that help
Starting point is 00:29:39 me and sometimes I need therapeutic help people that know what they're doing mentally and emotionally and they can be my outer banks better help brings you this episode better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist you can start communicating in under 24 hours it's not a crisis line it's not self-help it is professional counseling done securely online you'll get timely and thoughtful responses you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions so you'll never have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room as with traditional therapy I'll tell you this a
Starting point is 00:30:21 lot of traditional therapy is even gone on to just be on FaceTime or on Zoom now so better helps ahead of the curve it's committing it's committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches that make it easy and free to change counselors if you need some help like we all do visit better help comm slash Theo that's B E T T E R H E L P and join the over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health special offer for TPW listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash T H E O if you need some help give it a shot there's no shame in it there's no shame in getting help man you know I don't know
Starting point is 00:31:09 where I'd be with that my friends man it's amazing sometimes how your friends will just continue to put up with you over and over again in that wild that blows my mind and it bees ma'am what else oh I'm gonna let you know I want I want you to save time on a Thursday December 17th I want you to save some time out of your evening schedule it looks like myself and Chelsea Lynn she's a very funny young lady she was on a few episodes ago we're going to do a live event and it's gonna be a Christmas holiday talent spectacular extravaganza and it's gonna be I mean it's gonna be next level so we're really really
Starting point is 00:31:58 excited about it it'll be coming to you live live from the central east so we'll put tickets on sale for that soon we're just figuring out everything it's gonna be in it and I'm kind of nervous you know but I'm very excited you know I'm excited to just kind of try things a little bit different and just do something new so it'll be exciting so just want to let you know save that space on your schedule probably be 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. central standard time probably 8 p.m. and and we're excited about that so keep your ears and your face open to that what else we got some calls it came in as always the hotline
Starting point is 00:32:39 nine eight five six six four nine five zero three here we go you know yo it's Christopher down in the big easy what's up Christopher and I used to know a boy named Christopher and they call him Toby or Tobias and and he some people they open their mouth it goes sideways a little and that was him onward I want to say what up to El Rey de Rata El Rey de Rata the Rat King baby El Rey de Raton El Rey de Rata one of the other baby and that's that Spanish red baby that queso monster gang it actually grew up on the North Shore and I heard about your legendary status from the Mandeville High days to live right
Starting point is 00:33:34 around the corner I went to the rival of St. Paul's though okay talking high school time brother and that's when I was really first experience interaction and really just I mean damn I had a real just a pertinent penis on me at the time you know I'm saying my dick really had an attitude I had that Muhammad Ali of dick at the time and and sorry excuse my language a little bit vulgar but yeah brother yeah I don't know if I had any stuff a legend I definitely you know I had some good times I remember doing a bunch of mushrooms one time and stayed in the bathroom at school all day and I stayed
Starting point is 00:34:18 in there and just you know I cut all the faucets on and just tried to I thought I could get to the bottom of the water in the city I was like if I run these long enough I'll get to the end of the water and then we will know the truth but it never happened man I remember doing that what else I remember being in the bathroom another time and a friend of mine threatened our Spanish teacher do we had a crazy Spanish teacher man Mr. Vlaiet and this dude he would he had both his bonus points broke people everybody from no nobody in our school could speak Spanish we had people that have been in Spanish for 11 years no
Starting point is 00:35:01 Spanish you know I'm saying drive right through a alto sign nothing just no just nah dah you know and but he give you 75,000 bonus points if you made a casserole you made a damn quesadilla he give you 32,000 bonus points you bring in a habanero pepper dog if you bring in just a regular can of pepper and wrote habanero on the side he give you 16,000 bonus points just his bonus point system was just it made no sense you know if you got beat up by a Mexican dude he'll give you 6,000 bonus points so it just you know everything he did was crazy and one time I'm in the bathroom just doing peeing you know not doing
Starting point is 00:35:48 drugs and and my friend Paul had like a C or something or a D and Paul was in there and Mr. Vlaiet was in there and Paul was a tough guy man Paul was my friend and he still is my friend so that's called friendship and he was a tough guy and he told Mr. Vlaiet he was Mr. Vlaiet was peeing and he kind of looked like a guy that didn't have a big dick on him if I'm honest I don't like to say that but it seemed like it like if you if you had to find his dick it would take you a while if it was outside you know in like a you know you know like in a field of like freshly like even if it was out on like a field of freshly
Starting point is 00:36:35 cut grass it would take you a couple minutes they're probably located but um anyway my you know Mr. Vlaiet's over there holding on to his penis and he's a peeing and my friend Paul said hey Mr. Vlaiet if you're gonna give me a D I'm gonna expose your whole fucking program he said you know I know you're giving people you know 700,000 bonus points for a damn you know for a inch a lot of recipe so I'm about to fuck you know if you I remember he said if you don't get it right you're gonna suffer the consequences do this student told the teacher that and I'm just in there pissing or pretending like I'm pissed
Starting point is 00:37:16 and waiting for somebody that had a cigarette you know just just being in high school basically and so finally he said uh and Mr. Vlaiet said okay and he gave him a C bro so he could pass man praise God but I don't know if that's the kind of shit that you heard about me in high school or or what happened that's most of the good stuff that happened you know that's most of the good stuff that happened to me man and St. Poole's St. Poole's was a all-male school St. Paul's that's where you went to all male and a lot of a lot of parents at this time in history a lot of parents wouldn't send their child to all
Starting point is 00:37:57 male because they think they never gonna see a woman and they gonna love men you know they never gonna see a breast or see you know see a couple bitches you know beating each other with braziers or anything after the school bus after they missed the bus because they was smoking or just you know so I think a lot of people was afraid to send their child over to that kind of thing but let's hear more man thanks for the call I'm really transgressing but you said to call in if we were listening and hell yeah I'm listening I'm loving what you do very uplifting hilarious anyway just give me a big shout out from the
Starting point is 00:38:37 big easy while we get ready for that got to know that category one hurricane today gang brother thanks for the call man you guys are prepared for a storm every day every day down there if you put a slicker on a kid hell you throw a frisbee to somebody you better put a raincoat on it that's everything down there is damn drowning this should be have mandatory fun snorkels but thank you for the call brother and thanks for that's interesting that there's some lead that there's stories that float around about me from there from being a child you know the family that let me come stay with them that's what took me
Starting point is 00:39:16 from one I grew up in a totally more rural area and they lived in a fancier area nicer and that's what took me from one area to another that took me to it one you know more rural town to more of a suburb and so I had different a plethora of experiences man let's take another call here as always the hotline 985-664-9503 what's up to you Thomas here calling from Houston Texas each time hold it down you know thinking recently you know work is so stressful I work in a warehouse and I pull products and it might not sound stressful but it's extremely stressful and I think and I think at the end of the day most days I
Starting point is 00:40:08 think life would probably be easier if I was just homeless but it's great vibe taking up cans or you know holding out a little bucket maybe something about the hair wrong I want to get your thoughts on that you know very simple put the homeless way of living amen sir and thank you sir and it's an important question man it's one we all ask ourselves every day should I just be homeless and the answer changes man but the truth about homeless is look I think about it a lot is it fun to be a contributing member of society because that's the opposite of homelessness is it fun to be a contributing member of
Starting point is 00:41:03 society well let me look at this um is it sometimes I would love to lay in the park and do dope and pretend I'm fucking somebody but I'm not yeah and have a freaking you know and have a two drink Pepsi straight out the two liter and get sunburn yeah yes I would love that sometimes but that's gonna fade off pretty quick by about three in the afternoon you're gonna want a place to wash up and that's where it gets dicey when the drugs wear off you know when you start to know you know you start to see different birds in the
Starting point is 00:41:58 park and you know them that's that's gotta be a tough moment you know most of America's homeless are drug addicted or mentally ill you don't meet a lot of yeah I couldn't pay my rent so I'm just I'm gonna live out here now you don't you don't meet a lot like that you know yes sometimes I would like to be home you don't think I want to you know hide a cinnamon roll in the woods and go get it a month later when I'm when I'm high on metham fathomins dude and I'm low on mathematics and reading yes I do but we need to be clear on who is homeless and who is not homeless people it's either mentally ill or drug addicted and it's
Starting point is 00:42:53 that those are the people that's living under the interstate you know those are those roadside warriors other people are camping so many people send me pictures like oh so many homeless people up here in Yosemite bitch those are campers those are campers you know homeless people ain't a free solo in El Capitan Papa those are hikers okay people like oh man just just made my way to top of Kilimanjaro a lot of vagrants up here RIP Africa those aren't homeless okay those those are Patagonia addicted carabiner junkies okay let's be let's be clear those people aren't shooting up heroin and playing freeze tag with their own soul
Starting point is 00:43:54 behind a Carl's Jr. so that's what I'm saying when it come to homeless you got to know the difference KYD baby gang baby sorry I had a urinate right there and if you've ever urinated man it's uh I mean it's beautiful really I mean think about it you know the fact that you get to push water out of your body and it feels good I mean I never could have come up with that so that's pretty remarkable right there and that's God baby so let's get into a little more here I'll see what we got here we got a call that came in right here let's take a call yo Theo Vaughn this is Luke from down here in Baton Rouge man what's up
Starting point is 00:44:56 Luke from Baton Rouge and Luke is usually from the Bible but I see you kind of taking a detour onward brother I'm big fan big fan actually I saw you down in New Orleans at the House of Blues once was a good great show actually but look thank you man it's nice you to say that man it really is and yes you know it used to be that we could be out there doing it and doing the rigmarole and and doing the live show and now it's a little different now but we're here together right now and that's what's important and that's what's unique about this Luke is that you and I were together there and here we back here
Starting point is 00:45:35 together man and that's something if you think about something that could be it onward man I got a little question my brother's getting married in a couple of weeks and I've got a miss best man of course I know that you were actually a brother's best man I've got to give you know a toast to him of course and I I'm gonna move interesting man obviously Luke is a stalker as well but now we appreciate uh yeah I was a best man at my brother's wedding was I the best man oh Jesus dude my brother's gonna frickin hate me dude I mean my brother's my best man I know that you know I never I I don't know jeep jeeps jeeps anyway
Starting point is 00:46:33 enough about me onward Luke I want to hear more from you man that you were actually your brother's best man I've got to give you know a toast to him of course and I I'm an emotional person I don't know how emotional I should get with it with the toast and you know what not so I figured I'd ask if you had some pointers since you had been there before being the best man for your brother you have any advice for that uh let me know man also I hope all as well shows great love listening to it tell all my friends about it and everything man gang gang take care buddy gang gang baby thanks Luke a sweet of you man for
Starting point is 00:47:16 the message and um wow you know that's a good question what do we do for our brothers you know it's funny if I gave my brother a best man speech now as opposed to whenever I did apparently and I do this is embarrassing man I it just goes to show how much I'm just stuck in my own head thinking about myself I can't even remember I remember I actually you know what I remember playing in my brother's bachelor party almost killed us in a 12-pass van we had nine alcoholic jello shots there's a lot of things I do remember it was a beautiful wedding but I don't I don't remember having to give a best man
Starting point is 00:48:06 speech though did we do Jesus oh my god didn't I think my brother listened to this oh anyway Luke enough about me man that's a good question it you know I think first of all I would keep it semi-concise I wouldn't go over two minutes I think two minutes is about as long as you kind of want to go but of course obviously I don't know man you know if you have a if you have a suggestion for Luke you can hit the hotline we'll we'll circle back up with some of these next week nine eight five six six four nine five zero three how do you what's the best way to do a best man speech what's the best way to you know I
Starting point is 00:48:56 think you want to I think talking about a certain moment in your life when whatever your brother did or said or what a behavior of his story of a life man trying to have a feeling and I get an email I would I would find out you know a time when your brother did had a behavior or an action or said something that resonated with you and just stuck with you you know just you can even just specify on one moment when he just really when he was a brother you know a brother is a lot of things I think it's really selfless and I think it's a good brother anyway and it's you know as loving as caring as
Starting point is 00:49:52 sacrificial and it's hard it's hard to be sometimes an older brother it's hard to be a younger brother I mean I think a lot of that could go into you know but depending on where you are in the brother chain but that's a good question if you have some suggestions for Luke you can hit the hotline again nine eight five six six four nine five zero three sometimes I forget it but yeah you know I think just iterating something that they a moment that they done where they really showed you they cared about you or really you know and just let them know how much you care you know let them just let I think it's a good time really
Starting point is 00:50:38 yeah you're kind of wishing him best of luck in his marriage but it's also a moment where you get to let your brother know how you feel about him in a public way without you know being homosexual or without being you know without name calling or anything you get to really just be loving so and you can start off with a joke you know you could say you know I want to you know I'm so happy you know I got my brother here if he even is my brother and then call out your mom say you know if he even is my brother Diane because we all know you've done some things and just let that sit for about another second or two and that'll
Starting point is 00:51:23 do that'll really cook up some humor and it could I mean who knows I don't know what your mother's like but it could also cause some controversy but or it could you know it or you know dig up some old stuff but yeah that's a great question man and we'll put that out to the listeners and we'll do a response back to you on the next episode. What else do we have here? What else is going on with me man? I'm trying to think about oh I'll tell you it is you know Vernon Shaw is coming to town this weekend so gonna hopefully get to go catch up with him so looking forward to that. Dustin Poirier and Conor McGregor are fighting
Starting point is 00:52:14 and man this thing really hits on me because I know you know we've been Dustin Poirier fans here we've been underdog fans here we've been the good Fight Foundation fans here since since we got to know Dustin and I know it's kind of late in his career that we kind of jumped on the on that Bayou bad boy bandwagon but but we love him you know we love what he stands for he's you know he fights for people like us you know we've always kind of felt that I feel like and and by him coming on the podcast he gave us a lot of credibility and just being able to talk to fighters like him and people who are like him and so
Starting point is 00:52:56 um you know what was I saying so it's just a crazy that he's getting to do this fight because he held out of the Ferguson fight because there was the money wasn't right they weren't treating him fairly and it's interesting to take a moment where something is not feeling fair and to stand up for yourself to stand your ground and say no because then once you say no that whatever the opportunity cart it was coming by and it's saying hey here here here's an opportunity bucko and you're saying oh no that's not for me and then the cart leaves and then you just sitting on the porch
Starting point is 00:53:42 and then you just hoping another cart comes by and sometimes the cart doesn't come by even for the good guys the guys who were trying to do it the right way the guys who stand up for themselves even sometimes the cart doesn't come by so when you see the cart the next cart that comes by and that cart is a fucking Irish parade of senior citizen punching liquor junkies named Connor F. and McGregor man do that is exciting as hell and it's inspiring that's inspiring so yeah just to like have had the opportunity to talk to Justin in between those moments when it was like you know I'm not sure but this is I know that I
Starting point is 00:54:50 need to stand up for myself I need to stand my ground and that's just amazing that it's inspiring to see that life will reward us and but he also didn't give up at those moments he stayed at you know kept training to keep training when you don't even know if there's gonna be a choo-choo that's crazy to keep training when you don't even know if the Amtrak is still in business huh so it's just exciting man it's exciting and you got to come in Connor McGregor for saying this is some you know because he's at a level where you know he's also such a business so when he touches something it just generates
Starting point is 00:55:39 more business to that thing so for him to have that part of him that recognizes hey let's do this and recognizes when good deeds have gone undone like I personally feel like they had gone in the case of of Dustin Poirier and Tony Ferguson in there in their quest to get a just a better contract deal with UFC hats off to him and it's just it's cool and it's fucking exciting and everybody wins everybody wins when Dustin wins then it sets up the trilogy when when yeah that's it so I don't know if Rogan will let me go to the fight again man I think I may kind of I think I just got too crazy last time dude I punched my
Starting point is 00:56:31 date I fucking put on Mark Norman in a chokehold I you know it was it was a lot it was a lot man God that was one of the craziest nights I ever was part of I had a beautiful date my girl Megan we went it was fun and it was just like man we were right there and these guys were gladiators that was when Dustin Poirier was fighting Tony Holloway God and that's when Israel Addisonia and Kelvin Gastelum went at it brah like a couple of fucking funky donkeys bro they went at it all that was a good night anyway man if you have some advice for Luke from Baton Rouge hit the hotline 95 664 9503 let's take another call here man
Starting point is 00:57:24 and then we got some great calls that came in on the hotline and we'll get to him next next week the rest of them also I want to let you know that that I've been trying to get a new home you know and it's my first real home that I'm a live-in and own and and it's exciting but I had some things on my credit my credit was bad because I didn't I missed two payments I missed two payments on a previous mortgage of a rental property I had with my friend so bridge credit solutions is different they are backed with a hundred percent money back guarantee for any items that cannot be removed from your credit you will not
Starting point is 00:58:04 find that anywhere in the credit repair industry I'm currently working with my man JJ from bridge credit solutions you know exactly what you're paying for at the beginning of the credit repair there's no open-ended monthly fees it's written into the contract now you will need to have the bridge report access prior to scheduling your audit they cannot go over your credit report without it but that costs just one dollar it can be found on the website by simply clicking on the services drop-down bar where you'll see bridge report access bridge credit solutions prides itself on its lightning quick
Starting point is 00:58:41 turnaround time they will guarantee removal of certain negative items in as quick as 24 hours visit bridge credit solutions comm slash Theo that's bridge credit solutions comm slash th EO and see I need them to fix my credit because I need to get that lower interest rate and so that's what they're doing for me right now and it is working so I that is a honest testimonial it is working right there you can go get it also want to let you know about magic mind dot co that's right magic mind dot co it's that beautiful beverage zipper flow state now comes in a bottle it's got matcha no tropics adaptogens and a hint of honey
Starting point is 00:59:29 it's the ultimate nemesis to your procrastination slay your procrastination demons use promo code Theo to get 10% off and get in a flow every morning with them flow state hitters baby magic mind dot co use promo code Theo all right let's take another call here all right here we go what's going on Theo this is Julian Powers calling from Niagara Falls Canada what's up Julian and that's a clean water thoroughfare up there Niagara man I want to thank you too good we drink a lot of that and we've been sipping off of y'all for a while sucking off that clean titty while we down here flinting
Starting point is 01:00:16 gang shit Homer and I had a question for you so I'm 21 years old I just moved out of my house for the first time I'm ready to take on the world and I was wondering what you would tell yourself if you could speak to your 21 year old self because I'm out here trying to get some life experience and I think I have big dreams for myself but you know I easily stop myself from achieving those dreams I'm my own worst enemy in a lot of ways maybe it's a lack of belief maybe I just don't have the right tools I don't know I think I have everything I need in me but I just have to get my brain right but I'd be very interested in
Starting point is 01:00:56 knowing what you would tell your 21 year old self gang brother thanks Julian for that question man you know what would I tell my 21 year old self I would say ask her out you no matter who she is whether she's a job or a new city or or an actual person you know whether whether she's an opportunity or a fear you know if you're afraid of heights ask her out hey heights what you doing tonight even though I recommend doing heights during the daytime when you can see what's going on but you know like whatever she is man ask her out you know the saddest things in my life I remember almost touching a girl's body one time and she wanted me
Starting point is 01:02:05 to so I wasn't you know everybody was awake and but but I didn't try to and she was beautiful and I was beautiful dude I was young and man I just if I could go back to that moment and just not be afraid just just recognize that I look whatever could be out there I could have it man that was you know so ask her out whatever she is um what else would I tell myself everything's gonna be okay everything you're worried about is gonna be okay that too whatever it is that also is gonna be fine try some mushrooms man have a few more mushrooms here and there do it in a safe environment you know don't drive while
Starting point is 01:03:12 you're doing it but do it somewhere have fun find people that you care about that you can listen to and that will listen to you what else would I tell my 21 year old self take a chance man you know I remember when I was I don't know some type of age but my best friend Scott his dad I was asking I was thinking you know should I move to Los Angeles and he said yes yes you should I said well why does he goes because you can always come back you can always come back whatever you can always come back throughout my life I've been back home to my you know my Louisiana homes 50 times you can always come back
Starting point is 01:04:08 whatever that thing is that's a possibility go grab that bitches by the nut smoke my natch fam you got to get out there whatever it is ask her out and I yeah and he was right if that man had never said hey you should go do that I never would have I never would have tried to go do comedy or do this or do go to Los Angeles he said you can always come back go do it you'll never have that freedom like you do when you're 21 whatever age you know he didn't specify because I don't know what age I was but time yeah time slow slow in the beginning and then that bitch will fucking who's saying on your son so but
Starting point is 01:05:12 you're gonna be fine man no matter what you're gonna be okay just remember that you already are okay so you got this baby boy and I love you man and I'm excited for you we got some other great calls man we'll get to him next week I think we've done a lot this week and and I appreciate you guys for being here and being a part of my life you know and I'm glad at least I have this this is something that's normal this is something that that we don't you know we just stay right in the in the flow of it you know this is something that'll it'll change a little but we try not to let it change too much and I'm glad you allow
Starting point is 01:05:54 me to just kind of check in with you and see what's going on in your lives you know we got a lot of good people out there and we can't forget that even though the structure may get a little shaky the people are still the same the people are still the same people you know the people are still good so you guys be good to yourselves and I'm gonna try to do the same you know I'm gonna try to just work more on the gratitude man there's so many things to be grateful for especially this time of year and and yeah the structure is kind of disappearing on the outside so it's a lot of like what structure am I gonna
Starting point is 01:06:34 make for myself what current am I gonna ride and if the current isn't there am I am I strong enough to kick for myself am I strong enough to keep to keep peddling and I think I am and and I think you are too and I'm not trying to tell you but I'm just sharing what I'm feeling but yeah go watch Queens Gambit that'd be something nice you could do with a loved one start shopping for Christmas now get somebody something nice get some flowers for a loved one tip your cleaning lady take a friend to lunch the holidays are here already you know the holidays start whenever we want them to so we can do it man I love you
Starting point is 01:07:24 guys man and thank you guys for supporting the podcast let's go out the way we came in with a little bit of Bishop Gunn making it this is my ring tone in the morning yeah I'll send in some advice for Luke man for that fella best man hold the line baby you can do it most all of my plans slip right through my hands and while I'm next to me I'm upstairs if this bottle was an hourglass I'd say that I'm about an hour past the minute I should have put it down oh you made a big yada this 16,000
Starting point is 01:09:02 points I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you if you don't give me a say I'm making more feel right I'm making it and if it helps when I hit it man I'm making good time I want to thank our producer Sean and producer Nick I want to thank our associate producer Colin Reiner and everybody's a part of this podcast we don't get it done alone right here and I want to thank God man for having our backs but I'm in pretty good shape I want to thank Bresty Jeff y'all remember Bresty Jeff man with the
Starting point is 01:10:40 breasts and he had his mother ginger come in the truck driver I want to thank Frank Giles Frank Giles baby making center buns out of the dead you got to respect that I hate to leave home in about a hundred days I can almost hear mama pray for my restless God bless y'all gang shit be good to yourself man you deserve it

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