This Past Weekend - E312 Third Place Babies

Episode Date: December 12, 2020

Theo talks about doing yoga, vaping's insane flavor options and ponders the possibility of aliens living amongst us here on Earth.   New Merch https://theovonstore.com    This episode is brought to you by: RayCon: Visit https://buyraycon.com/theo for 15% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/theo for 10% OFF your First Month     Music: "Where I Find God" - Larry Fleet https://bit.ly/3oLvFFm     Hit the Hotline  985-664-9503   Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline      Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw     Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis   Associate Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All right, baby You know that I'm tech Tech is the new fossil fuel Think about that Bandwidth is the new oil So just a light thought I'm just a light thought to get you Just acclimated I guess to whatever

To her to nothing To nothing man. Hope you're having a good day. Hope I'm having a good day. I Mean, that's really That's the realest I um I'm out here in the central east. I did a I did a skiing This past weekend in

Tahoe and They just shut it down again there because of the disease. I Mean, I think you have more you have excuse me. You have a better chance of dang Getting bit by a damn Sasquatch Then you do dying from this disease, but I Don't make the rules You know, I'm just uh, I'm just one human and there's billions so But yeah, we had a nice time out there went out there did a performance actually for a company

This was called a corporate show And those can be interesting you show up and you don't know how it's going to be usually you perform somebody complains to the boss and And somebody loses their job that's usually what happens when they hire a comedian at a corporate show I mean, I did one for shaman a couple years ago and there was almost a damn uh fist fight at it And How the hell people's fist fighting when they supposed to be making toilet tissue

You know, that's beyond me, but that's That's on god, baby, but um Was that talking about oh, so we did it for this time the company called battle-born batteries Battle-born batteries and they I thought at first You know Ari Manus Accompanied me there and he said hey, we're doing the show is for battle-born And I thought he meant Breach births

You know c-sections, baby And c-sections Let's be honest man. There's a section Uh, there's b-section and then once you get to c-section, bro. It's really Damn, they'll pull anything out of your stomach at that point. It's A c-section, baby's already You know, that's like the remedial reading of children, man If you already get in a c and you haven't even you're barely even alive

So a lot of times I feel like we should probably do contact tracing on c-section, baby's You know, they should tag them like they do uh You know sometime you'll you'll see a A rare egret or a damn, uh Cormorant And it'll show up on your property in a hall have a tagging on And from far off it looks like a bracer. It looks like he went to a nightclub the night before You know looks like he might have

Spent all night out at the stinking nest with his buddies All right, you know over at the slippery branch or whatever, you know But it turns out it's a tagging Government comes and they'll put a damn wristband on a uh On a falcon You know, they'll put a damn stopwatch on a uh On a j-hall So they know what they're doing. I mean, that's how when you think about how crazy the government is. That's crazy, man

That's pretty crazy, but What was I talking? Yeah, so battle-born batteries. That's the company and it's just a company and they do batteries and they do I guess special hardcore batteries That'll survive anything a snowstorm Flooding funeral You know, uh second coming I mean, Jesus could pass through town and that damn battery will still be working. But uh, so anyway, we had a good time with that company and it went well sometimes You know when you invite a comedian to an HR issue, it can be a real, you know to a

Company it can be a real issue So but we had a nice time and beautiful people over there this fella Sean and uh And uh, and just a great group of guys, man And and women too Guys and women, baby Both gender son So What else man, oh god

Oh Somebody brush my teeth I can't even handle that sometimes Oh, I'll tell you this. We saw a lady We were at the casino in the gift shop At night And a lady in there this is an adult This is an adult lady. So this ain't no novice, you know

This isn't a first time into a snack Play I mean this lady she sounded like an alien though She was talking on it was like kind of like a diverse lady talking on the phone On face not FaceTime FaceTime audio or whatever You know And the person on the other end is like what do they have and she's in this gift shop and she Named Everything that they have

She's like they got uh, they got rollo's They got um Lay's Ruffles They got uh pringles They got green pringles Orange pringles Purple pringles

Um, they got these like kind of little like like kind of brown mazes with salt on them Like these little like Figure eights. Oh pretzels Um They got neckties they got clip on they got dove ice cream they got drumstick Uh, they got Butterfinger They got certs they got raspberry certs they got uh They got five hour energy they got six hour energy

They got uh this and the person like what do they have and then she wrote she would start on a whole new thing They got t-shirts they got um They got welcome to Reno t-shirts They got uh they got a neck brace they got we uh they got um playing cards They got Hershey kiss Um, what do they have? They have um, they got uh, what else? They got cinnamon whiskey

They got gin They got sunglasses They got um They got whatchamacallits Uh, they got uh Kalua Wa-wa-wa And then she every now and then she was like let me go ask them if they have that

Let me go ask them if they have that And she would go over to the counter Oh bro, it just didn't make any sense I mean it literally made no sense They got gummy bear, they got smoked salmon They got um coffee Oh But man

That's humanity and where would we be? With that, I mean we were dying laughing It just, it was so hard to be in the store and watch this lady just do this Just literally I'm like oh they got um They got milk, they got chocolate milk, they got diet milk Um They got uh, Twizzalus They got uh red vines

Dear God Speaking of God Thank you guys for being here and being a part of my life today And helping me get through this Uh, just life, helping me get through life You know life uh It was a surprise to all of us It really was

Uh, today's musical intro is by Larry Fleet Where I find God It's a, it's a country song I think but it's a There's something really human about it man And uh, it'll hit you right in the stair steps Gang brother Come on Larry They got Rollo's

Tonight a hit rock bottom He paid my tab and put me in a cab But he didn't have to So you can see I was hurting Come on baby Oh I wish I'd got his name Cause I didn't feel worth saving But he saved me just the same

Day out on the water When the fish just wouldn't bite Come on hold with me baby I put my pole down and floated around Come on Larry It was just so quiet And I could hear my old man Saying some just be still

Come on baby Let's go Can't find peace like this Can't find peace like this And a bottle or a pill Come on From a monastery to let it rule Sunday morning in a church pew

In an interstate or a hate fee Stay back to Nashville And shut away with the windows down Me and him just riding around Sometimes Whether I'm looking for him or not That's where I find God Come on man

Sometimes Whether I'm looking for him or not That's where I find God Listen Whether I'm looking for him or not That's where I find God You all gotta go get on that right there That's Larry Fleet

Where I find God And it is powerful man when you think about that Where you find God You know I remember place times in my life Where I found him You know there's a When I go to my mother's house Sometimes I like to lay on her bed

And sometimes the son will just kind of hit her bed Coming in from the window And there's just something about that Space and that That moment That little That time Where I feel

Like there's like You know I feel God then When I see when you see a little baby When you see a little baby do something You know And not something staged Like they had those two little kids Hugging on the internet

I mean something real When you see a little baby hug his parent Or Learn something new When you see in his eyes He's learning something new I think there's moments like that Where you just feel

Like that's God just making another stitch In the quilt That's where he puts his Thread through And brings it back out Things like that There's little things that keep you holding on You know

When you see your grandmother laugh You know when one of your friends has a child You know a close friend I think it's just you know God is that, he's that soapy water man His mind is way through the cracks And I love that song man Larry Fleet where I find God

And some people don't have a God And that's okay man I think it's a tough way to go through life I've struggled in my life with my relationship With the higher power And And some days it's stronger than others And some days it's not there at all

But But man that song That song helps me I don't know It's some something you know music has that power Music has that power man Help you do some things that you can't do by yourself And some of those things are

Things your feelings want to do Places they want to go And a song really is just a You know it's just a bunch of Sounds that are a key And if they're right man It's not meant to unlock you And it'll unlock you to love

It'll unlock you to dance It'll unlock you to Some of the shit will unlock you to damn start a fire You know or to lift weights I mean it's just the music You know every song Every beat kind of it's a different tickle And some of them tickle you on the side

And some of them tickle you in the damn ass And some of them just damn tickle you in the neck And it's just you know it's a It's all a different game but Anyway good to be here with you today man That's Larry Fleet where I find God You can check that out So

They have Unbelievable What's going on I'm still looking For a vehicle I'm trying to do CarMax And CarMax is like it's kind of like A lost and found for vehicles But you got to pay for them

And I'm waiting I really want a Ford Ranger Like a 2019 maybe So I'm hopeful for that I went and looked at some houses the past two days That was good Went to the doctor

So I went to the doctor right And I go into the doctor's office And I went to the first black doctor I've ever been to And it was just interesting

And I never in my head Ever crossed my mind that You know I've seen Black doctors on television I've thought about black doctors You know African American doctors Black doctors And

But I've never been to one So I go in And there was just like It was just interesting It just came to my attention You know and it doesn't make me racist That doesn't make me wrong or anything It just

First I was like dang I wonder Because then I thought that black people Probably have been going to a lot of Maybe have been going to a lot of White doctors their whole life I don't know I mean when I was growing up they didn't have black doctors Except for Cliff Huckstable

You know Bill Cosby And he was You know he was doing Rapes So But that don't mean nothing I mean he was on the show he wasn't On the show He was just doctoring

He was just still you know doing You know Birth Yeah I think he was a baby doctor So he was that you know this is That's way after rape you know that's That's babies So anyway I just had never been to a black

I just had never I'd never been there because they didn't have it when I was Growing up And then in LA a lot of I guess I don't know I've been to some Middle East and I've just never been to a black doctor And it must be wild because a lot of black kids When I was young probably had to grow up going to

White doctors And if you have like A lot of racial questions in your head You go in there Dude I bet you're wondering like Is this White doctor gonna save me You know

Um It was definitely Interesting I started talking to a friend of mine about it And they said Well to a black friend of mine And they said well you know a lot of black people like Why they like to go to black churches because people Sometimes

Will You know people There's just a You know there's a tribal kind of instinct Sometimes especially I think if you're thinking about Going to heaven Um Or at least there used to be I don't know if it's that much

Anymore because I'll see like Uh I'm posting videos and it's I mean it's so diverse at his crowds And um So this is probably just an older You know just some older stuff But it was just really

Interesting I just got in there and I was like Is this guy is he gonna know Because I think Part of my wonder was is it feel different To be black Like just does it physically feel different Like if I explain to him a white pain Or just a pain that I have

In my white body Is it gonna see does it register The same to him You know Like I don't know it was just interesting Um And he was great man super

Super nice young guy Um You know but it was definitely It was just interesting because I had never been I'm like if I You know if I say there's something hurts in my back Does it

Like does he have the same feeling it was just It was interesting And I think yeah in churches I think people Think sometimes oh man it's Will it can I get to heaven Or will I get you know is this Worship lead like Do they have the same

Like if I If I'm white do I gotta get you know Do I need a white person to help me get to heaven If I'm black do I need a black person Help me get to heaven Um So it was It was just an interesting thing

That happened man I didn't I just walked in I was like why I never So I was like yeah I think I'm at You know my antidepressants Aren't working And But he was totally

He was awesome man so Uh Not that he wouldn't be But it was just a new experience Bruh So it made me think like dang when I was young all of my Friends that were black had to go to white doctors Because I don't know if they had black doctors back then

And if you lived in a household where You had family members saying like white people Or there were white people the devil or something Then how would Imagine how awkward it would be To go get a diagnosis then From a white doctor It must have been

I don't know it must have just Been wild I don't know man Uh But that's some stuff you know that's Just kind of what's been going on I've been doing some yoga At home Did a show here the other night in Nashville

So thank you everybody that came Through I've been doing some yoga man Here's how I do yoga people want To say well Theo how do you do yoga This is what I do So I'm Renting an Airbnb right now And that's where you just

Get a place for a little while and It's kind of sketchy I mean you could do you could run a whorehouse How do you do whatever you want But I'm just doing life just sleeping Eating That sort of deal so I put on yoga with Adrian

And it's this white girl based out Of Austin Uh Yeah based at Austin and so um they got Barbecue chips Um so anyway I put it on

I'll put my mat out I got one of the long mats There's different lengths of yoga mats You can get I get the long one There's nothing I hate more than the yoga mat That's a little short whenever you're like Doing it and your kind of foot's hanging off the back And

It's not like when you have a shirt on it's a little too short It's like So I get the long one I'll light a couple candles I'll cut out the I'll cut out the house lights I light a few candles bro A little couple seance pieces you know And a lot of my candles have been

Used In seanceery So Um So you know I'm not surprised I'm in a downward dog In a damn you know You know a ghost travels right up under my ass

Bro that's where I'm at So anyway I'll put on yoga with Adrian there's like about 10 different ones I like to do I'll light a couple candles Uncented I don't need you know I don't need to be smelling peppermints while I'm laying there

Do they have peppermint they got peppermints They got um mint Juleps They got um Wrigley's Uh So that's it I'll lay out the mat I put on a couple candles I'll put it on my computer I'll turn my email off so the thing

Doesn't ding And I'll do a good session man And I start to like it more and more And it makes me feel pretty good But I do yoga with Adrian And um And I notice The reason I like her is for one

She goes really step by step And two Her voice There's something about the cadence And the Volume of her voice that's just It helps me Just travel through yoga

You know just like I was saying earlier about different songs Different sounds um Have a different gravitas to them And they stick to you different And some of them will fill your ears up And some of them will just Make you gassy in your head Like you got damn ass

Like you got ass in your head bro And I think that's why you know People like different music because certain Some people like a tambourine I don't mind a tambourine maybe For a little while in like a Janis Joplin song Or maybe subtly If Leon Bridges is hitting something

Kind of hearty But I don't do Somebody just loosin just loose Goosin around with a tambourine bro Do they Have weapons They got guns dude I can't I can't handle that

Somebody about to get slaughtered out So um But yeah That's what's new with me man I'm just You know Just going to diverse doctors Because you also think like man

If this doctor has like some kind of Like would they have some kind of vendetta Where they're gonna prescribe me a You know a damn net you know A Tartransplant But then I think man Black people must have thought that forever

If they always had to go to white doctors I don't know I don't know if they had a lot of black And I'm also referencing when I was growing up I just don't know If they had a black doctor when I was growing up And I didn't know at the time I was a child I don't know where black you know I just thought

Black kids always look pretty healthy to me They were the you know most athletic They just seemed like they was always doing pretty good So But I don't know man just I never thought about it Where were black kids going to the doctor when I was a kid I mean it was a small town

We probably all went to the same damn doctor dude Let's get into some calls Some calls came in we got some Some unique things We had that call that came in about the PS5 which was really nice last week And somebody wanting to share that Let's see what we can

Get into right here here we go And thank you guys for being a part of this past weekend If you have any thoughts on anything That's ever discussed on here mentioned You can call the hotline [phone] We're open to any constructive Criticisms always here

Merry Christmas to everybody gang Hey Theo My name is Cayden Man I just got to get your thoughts on On the vaping stuff Man a couple of my buddies have been hitting that sparky nasty Here for a while and they've been They don't switch over to the jewel

Or the vape whatever And uh Man I don't know what to think about it Man I just keep trying to get me to hit on that thing And I don't know about hitting on the toker Man I got to get your thoughts on it I'll be back at me thank you brother Alright thank you so much there Cayden

And uh Yeah cause jeweling is different People do jeweling You'll see somebody They gotta you know Hey you jewel Oy oy oy Just gargling vows

Just You jewel Dude when I was young jewel was a child Person's name So if somebody said you jewel I would be like no I'm Theo Who is she Um

And now yeah the kids got everything You know they got Tiramisu flavored watermelon Bro When I was doing it you had to hit that Cigarette baby like a damn man You had to stand there Like a just a fucking loose piece of

Forest fire just You know what I'm saying you had this A smoke or had this smoke Secret You know this thing also doubles as a hard drive You can keep up like just like 60 J pegs on here And y'all got all kind of flavor

They got lasagna They got everything man They got regular mint they got cement They got menthol peanut Bottle bruh everything man They got lactate Somebody just hitting a damn lactate jewel Say their bowels can't handle regular

Jewel bitch what When I was young you had this smoke And you had to risk Getting busted that's another thing about a jewel I see people jeweling on the plane I see people just Blowing into their pocket Blowing into the dog's mouth

They got a little rescue dog on there With them little snows Or a note you know They chimneying that bitch up When I was young you had this smoke You had to go hard And you had to blow yet I blow it There was no hide in that smoke

That shit was the industrial revolution baby I mean you look like a damn saw mill Out there just hitting Winston's And you smelled like it Now somebody comes in the house they're out there They've been hitting that cherry or that paprika You know somebody comes in the house And they've been hitting the ricotta

They just did 40 grams of ricotta cheese Jewel outside It's just different man this shit is weak now So I say put it down baby Put it down and pick up a real cigarette Pick up that real killer bruh You know what I'm saying Have some honor get Japanese with it

Pick up a real cigarette And hit that bastard Cause you out here hitting these fake Dude it can store up to like 30 jpegs in it Yeah man And it's peach cobbler flavored bitch You don't even care Get that old dog

I remember hitting the Marlboro red bruh Made one of my eyes closed for a month I remember that shit was for real And you had to come back to the table smell You had to hide the smell You over there rubbing gum all over you in the garage Trying to you spraying double D40 on your buddy Trying to get the smoke off of him

Everybody you when you come back to the Thanksgiving table smell like a damn oil change But you had to go through something Now you got people sucking out here Sucking on a damn USB port Dude my buddy's in the uh Jewel uh he's a professional Yeah he's in the semis in Reno this weekend

Put it down Y'all ain't doing shit bruh Pick up a regular cigarette dude Smoke him for 20 30 years Watch your skin give in a little And then go see the lord Have some respect for yourselves So that's what I think of jewel man

It's hard to go off on that but I had to let you know man What else dude here we got a call that came in And I'm also gonna let you know right now That if you need help Look and I need it man I've been seeing a therapist On line and in person And it's going good

And I'm not giving up my brother made me Commit that I would go see a therapist for one year So I'm glad he's holding me accountable To that a little bit and And I need it You know I need it So what I'm telling you right now Is that better help is there for you

Better help will assess your needs And match you with your own licensed professional therapist You can start communicating fast The services available worldwide You know I remember in my town I grew up in I might have been a little bit you know nervous Or if I go see the therapist Well hell I play basketball with her husband

So is she gonna tell him What's he gonna think You know and Well he and I both went to school together Hell I She rejected me four times Is he gonna be weird now that I'm in there Just telling her what's wrong with me

Yeah well it could be I don't know But if it is then there's better help Better help is committed to facilitating Great therapeutic matches They make it easy and free to change counselors If needed It's more affordable than traditional

Offline counseling And financial aid is available Better help wants you to start living a happier life today Visit betterhelp.com That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P And join the over 500,000 people Taking charge of their mental health

With the help of an experienced professional And I know that actually It's more than a million people now Special offer for this past weekend listeners Get 10% off Your first month at betterhelp.com Slash Theo 10% off your first month

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Hey Theo, this is Ryan I want to get your thoughts On what it means That you know the UFOs Are definitely real now And like whether that Kind of, I don't know, sexism As human beings

Makes you think about Time travel and stuff like that Just in general there's an impact Really thinking that you can Look up at the sky and say Watch out there Thanks a lot, gang gang Thank you for the call Ryan

You know recently they had A thing, an article And it said Uh Israeli Space Security Chief Says extra terrestrials Exist and Trump knows About it

He said Our Federation has been waiting For humans to reach a stage Where we will understand What space and spaceships are Haim Eshed Has said this Said the aliens were equally curious

About humanity And were seeking to understand The fabric of the universe And he said that They have been waiting until today For humanity to develop And reach a stage where we will all understand In general what space and spaceships

Are They also added that President Donald Trump was aware of the extraterrestrials Existence and had been on the verge Of revealing information What was asked not to In order to prevent mass Hysteria

According also to the report Haim Eshed His defense ministry space directorate Told an Israeli newspaper that Earthlings have been in contact With a galactic federation And that there is an underground base In the depths of Mars

Where there are American astronauts And alien representatives Uh Look To answer your question why you said that We know now that they're real I don't know if I believe any news That comes out anymore

Of what you believe So I think the news used to be You know there was a level of What we thought was reality of it To it And I don't know if that's the case anymore I really don't So do I know if this article is legit

I have no idea You think that there's like a board It makes it sound like there's a meeting every year And the aliens decide If we're ready To see the aliens I don't know that sound like They're like well how's this year been

And you're like well um You know um well You know we're arriving at the PS5 right now And There is we have picture frames That can change the picture You know and they're solar powered So

We're you know we're still struggling to recycle But uh that's Where we're at And then it's like rejected And then the next year they're like Alright guys how's things this year You ready to accept aliens And they're like well we're having like

A lot of widespread racial disputes And um But we do You know there is a new popular like bidet attachment That people are buying for their toilets They don't have to wipe their butt It's like uh Rejected

It reminds me of that scene In um Shawshank redemption Where he keeps going every year to try to get Denied denied denied Denied and then finally Brooks was here baby I'm gonna kill myself by the grocery Praise god baby

Um So yeah that just seems weird that there's a meeting Every year And that there's like discussion I just can't Until people are ready We will never Be ready

People are beating the shit out of each other For PS5s And the malls aren't even open Think about that There are shooting I'm sure there's a shooting right now If you put your ear up To a bowl of dirty water

You can hear a shooting in Flint, Michigan right now Probably For a pair of children's I'll roll off skates We are not ready For aliens Now some positives I think is It would give us all somebody to battle against

Cause I'll tell you straight up bro Some aliens shows up Over there in Memphis or something Some brothers gonna pop him off bro Real tall Or if he shows up out there in Oregon A couple of white dudes gonna sneak over and abduct his ass You know

Make a chili out of him So I don't know I mean I mean the whole The alien thing always to me Do I think that we're the only people here Like the only beings Who don't know And people say well it's selfish to think that

Well I don't think it I don't know I think we're in the very Kinder years of learning about All of that kind of stuff The simple fact that we're still operating on fuels Like you know Gasoline and

Whatever else they're using Octane I think in the future People will be able to fucking travel On a good idea you know You'll have a couple good ideas And that'll fill up your idea cube and then you'll Be able to use the lightning

Created from that to Migrate to different areas I think you know we're just on this Very novice plane right now So yeah I think It's going to be interesting down the Down the line now I do think this about aliens I think it's wild that

Aliens always trying to Get in everybody's booty and body Everybody they get seducted by aliens They trying to fuck them bro I mean who are the you know what I'm saying Or aliens just a bunch of like Just dudes like a bunch of drunk dudes From Vegas or something

Because every time they pick somebody Up the first thing they Tell people is they try to You know You know touch inside their booties And that makes me sad Bro but But that's aliens man

So do we even want to know these People what if you what if every time You introduce your you know your somebody To your friend Amos And Amos try to sneak up In their ass while they doing something You know they at the house They looking for a little you know their car keys

And Amos tries to slip in them cheeks bro You'd say hey Amos dude you got to go home So that's the thing that's aliens That's aliens boy And yeah I don't know if aliens Appear on earth we're still I mean We're basically probably the denies of the galaxy When you think of that

Nobody stop and you know we got a couple Of fucking A couple of gas powered Jets that can go You know that travel around like dude They're not they're like what are y'all doing Over here with these paper airplanes Y'all need to freaking throw a

Battle-born battery into one of these things And really see the See the future um What else that's all I had man on that So are they real I hope we find out here's the shitty thing What if you don't get to find out in your lifetime I mean you won't know but still you'll know

Towards the end I bet that's a lot of people last thought man Fuck Do they have Fritos Um they got um They got hostess cakes They got ice cream they got white ice cream They got brown ice cream

So Uh what else we got here Let's take another call Right here and then we're gonna get Into that ps5 let's get into that ps5 Man here we go right here this was the call that came in last week We had a fella named Kenny from Portland Who wanted to help out a single mom

I had an idea here I have a playstation 5 That I got from my work I'm not really a big gamer But I would like to offer that for one of your struggling Single moms So if you have any ladies out there That are trying to make

Their kid happy on the holiday I have a playstation 5 that I'd be willing to Donate Only because Your show gives me hours Of entertainment throughout the week You're very positive I love the things that you have to say

And gang gang Gang brother thank you man You know I needed to hear that again today You know I need constant reminders To put myself in a good place Um and we did we had some calls That came in man uh Here was uh here was the first one

That came in and so I feel like The first way to go about it Hey Cio this is Mike from Philadelphia Pennsylvania Just wanted to say Gang gang love everything you're doing Appreciate everything you're doing as well Um I was just calling I watched your thanks to live in episode

And I heard a gentleman call in Saying that he was offering up One of those playstation 5 hitters To a single mother And I just wanted to maybe Nominate my sister She works really hard she has two kids One's 8

One's 10 They're real big in the video game So I thought that would be perfect for them If you haven't already chosen someone I'd really like you to consider her Her name's Dana She lives in Maryland with my two nephews And they're great kids

She's an awesome mom so Really appreciate everything you're doing Thank you thank you Mike I didn't mean to cut you off there man But um yeah we're gonna And you know that's Kenny man That's Kenny helping out there Thinking that he won something at

At a work Or however he wanted And then he can give it away man That's really beautiful um We had some nice calls that came in And I didn't think like man yeah It's kind of a bummer that it's grateful It's grateful that uh

We're able to connect the dots there And help the kiddos get a PS5 Those things are hot commodity bro damn Dude somebody be dying of cancer You offering some plasma they say no But you hit them with that PS5 And they want it bro So but I thought hey

We could hit a couple of people back And see what else we could do let me um Let's see if we can call that guy though Dang he's not home uh I was gonna call him In person and just You know just tell him hello And uh so then what I'm gonna say is this Man let's think about this so um

What I'm talking about is uh Let's hit some other people up We got this call that came in let's hear it Hey Theo It's Wes from Minneapolis man I uh just listening to this past weekend I heard the guy call in about the PS5 For a single mom and uh

I got an excellent single mom That uh She's uh working to get her kid back She has them about half the year right now And she's gonna have them over Christmas Um she took me in About two months ago a really good friend And helped me out of a really hard situation

Helped me get on my feet Staying there right now She ain't making me pay nothing And man she has a really great Kid who was here over Thanksgiving And he'll be back for Christmas and he's a big Gamer and you know she Manages a gas station so she felt

They're grinding every day but You know it'd be great to give him A great Christmas that he can remember Amen brother I think we can help out With that um We'll give you a buzz right now See what we can do Nobody won't answer their phone anymore

But I think it's the uh Government Hello What's up Wes bro how you living man Good who's this? This is Theo man Theo Von the comedian Oh get out of town man What's going on with you cat daddy

What's up brother Not much brothers looking for the lord You know me boy Amen Damn dude my buddy said the other day I said dude I'm looking for the lord my buddy said Dude the lord ain't lost He's everywhere

He's everywhere man how's your day going Good man I'm gonna say work man My boss had me run down to FedEx To drop off this package I sell cars Man and uh I'm selling a car out of state I had to FedEx some papers overnight so I'm on the road right now

Nice baby well thanks for picking up man Yeah I appreciate your call man it's really nice of you To call just that you left on the hotline Yeah We'd already found somebody had already Called before they got the PS5 but We have uh there's a company That helps us out sometimes this company called MagicMind

And they wanted to offer A PS4 Or I think it's a PS4 and a television Maybe I don't know if the kiddo would you know If that would be something that they would like Man that would be amazing dude You have no idea how awesome you just made my day Awesome bro

Well dude it's nice you to think about somebody else Man you know Man he helped me out I was in a really bad spot I moved to Texas for a year I didn't really work out I had a Issue with a roommate That ended up turning violent Man I had to leave it was just

Crazy and she said you know I've never really been in a position to help somebody And I'm in that position now And you're a good friend come on up And she's just been helping me get back on my feet Man I got a job and She's great man she's great You couldn't be going to a nicer person

Amen bro well that's awesome dude That makes me feel good bro For sure Yeah thanks man yeah just thanks for thinking of somebody else And um yeah I'll just follow up with you I'll hit you up after or the producer Sean or Nick will hit you up after and just

Get it all set up but I can't remember exactly what he donated But I think he donated a PS4 In a television so That's so amazing man I saw this call Coming from Louisiana and I was like Here comes another mother fucker saying That my car or my car's warranty

Need to get Extended or so Bro look that's going to be The next call baby that's the next call So I want to talk to you right now about your warranty Extension West if you have a minute Oh damn it got me

Well bro Look man keep living the way you're living Man I'm proud of you bro and I'm just You know I'm just grateful that you called in man it's cool dude Amen man I appreciate you man I listen to you all the time So I really appreciate the call it's so great to hear from you Dude you made me feel good man

I appreciate it man have a good day dude Let's circle up with you bro and thanks for thinking of somebody else man Awesome peace Alright gang Damn that hit me in the feelings A little bit man What else can we do here Let me see what else

We can do here Man it's nice of him to think about that lady You know it's hard in our lives To reach out and say I can help you Especially these days There's so many barriers that That get put up you know You know I

You know I get As long as I'm safe in my home and I'm in my place And I you know it'll be uncomfortable And just we've gotten so kind of Separate sometimes at Helping other people used to be Kind of I think kind of an More of an innate thing and now it's

Because we've gotten so Solitary It almost feels Weird sometimes I think Isn't that strange that it feels weird To help somebody To invade in their life And as a society even we're getting more to like

Oh if you need help go to the government Go to the city Go to the You know it's no longer like Oh what can I can I help And I think a lot of people do still think That way but I think just as a society We

Or not can I help but what How can I help or I don't know I'm not judging anybody I'm not saying that I'm just thinking out loud I'm just I think I kind of had Really done anything nice for somebody in a while And then just thinking about that and not even do anything

You know that's magic Mine who hit me up today and said that they wanted To donate and But Let me see man Here we got one let's take it Hi PO my name is Tim Carter I

Sincerely Just honest to God I really hope you hear this So I I live in Portland Oregon and I Heard Kenny Call in with his Donation of a PlayStation 5

And I would like to nominate A lady that I know Her name is Larissa And she has a 7 year old Daughter named Annabelle And Last year Right before COVID

They moved to Portland from McMindle To take a new job The new job Opportunity almost immediately didn't work out Once you got here COVID Set in and she actually had to become Like a full-time Uber and Lyft driver

I figure let's call in right now And see what we can do Loud What is this loud Hello Hey what's up man this is Theo Von Bra I'm calling just about you called a couple

A couple days ago About the About the podcast about the we're talking about the PlayStation Yes sir my gosh I Wow how are you Thank you so much for calling I'm doing good man Tim is this Tim

This is Tim yes thank you Oh yeah man no worries man thank you for calling Bra Yeah I just appreciate it man I thought your message And you know I just thought Thanks for even checking out the podcast And just thinking about somebody else Especially this time of year

Can I just Before I forget Because I just think That you're probably pound for pound I don't want to Hopefully you won't take this the wrong way But I think that you're so underrated dude I just think

Just how you are and the things That you do and the things that you say Will be another Character or comedian Or just entertainer like you You are so unique and I appreciate you so much So I just wanted to get that out of the way First of all for thank you

Well it's nice to say man yeah you know it's funny When you say that just now I think there's something about If somebody says That you're unique like I think in my life I just want to be unique I think we all want to You know But I think I've always had some weird obsession With it I think

That's really kind of you to say that man That was very thoughtful My pleasure So we gave away the playstation Somebody else had called before you But we want to do something nice So I'm trying to think what do you think we could do I mean we

You know we could give What do you think she could use You know When I think of her I kind of think of Just the difficulties that she's gone through In this transition And probably

What I would think about more is probably Just her little daughter Her little daughter wants to be A youtube sensation so bad She likes to play this game called Roblox And she likes to make her own little videos And she's very enthusiastic And everything and of course her being a single mom

You know she's been home During covid for like the last However long seven eight months She just moved up here And had Just to give you a super Super short backstory so she was When I met her she was going through some

Sexual harassment turmoil in her work And so I kind of gave her a little bit of money A little bit of momentum to come to portland And then when she moved She dropped everything to come up here And take a job And then covid hit and they weren't able to offer her the

Position So yeah And then it just hasn't It's such a hard question I don't know what Yeah and it might have been a little too You know it might be too open Ended or something I don't know what they call A question that like you know is just

Too vague but um So let me think man so I'm thinking You know why don't we We'll set maybe we could just at least set You guys up with like a gift card or something Maybe to best buy or to some other place Where if she wants to get like A

You know a YouTube cam or something Like you know I don't know maybe I don't know what some of the cameras are called But Nick will know man so Why don't we um Why don't we set you guys up with a $500 gift Card to a Place that could be helpful and

I'll have Nick or Sean call and And you can just give us her Information and And we'll go from there Wow Theo I just I just don't know what to say man I just I wasn't expecting this at all And I think that's a great idea

And I think yeah that's just open ended And she can do with it you know And there will be just such a great Christmas This is her first Christmas in Portland That will just be so awesome So awesome thank you Man thank you bro you know I don't know I don't know these people but it's just you know

It's your own kindness and your own thinking about somebody else And um You know it's funny that guy calls Today like oh let's think of ways we can do Things or give out anything And uh and it just kind of it's funny how One thing like that kind of spurns the other ones You know

Well and I was worried too like when I Will listen to the episode and first of all I think that was also The Robert Finley episode and my dad Loved that song but um quick Side note there man. Yeah that's a good song dude You gotta take it But I think Um I was worried that maybe

You know everybody was gonna call in and Maybe somebody like me would call in And you think oh well this guy just wants to play station For himself or whatever so I'm glad that the phone call came across As sincere. Yeah no it did I thought it for a second but then I quit thinking it man But that's just that's just something inside of me

That always wants to think the devil first you know Well cool man well look I think it's a thoughtful gesture and I'm glad that we could be a part of it man And um yeah I'll have the guys follow up and Merry Christmas Brian you just pass it on to her And just let her know that uh just that people are thinking Sometimes she feels like maybe people aren't

Or maybe she doesn't feel that way at all But just let her know people are always thinking of her My god Theo and You have a great Christmas man god bless you And yeah keep pushing man Cause you're gonna get to that Bill Burr level You're just uh once people see you man Once enough people see you

This guy's the limit for your talent I just know it Well thanks bro I appreciate it man It's been uh even in a rough year it's been An okay year man and I'm grateful to have the podcast And just to have you know to know that there's other People out there that are um You know that just as a group we don't give up

You know we keep uh just trying our best So alright gang Tim bro be good man Okay thank you alright cheers brother Man that was nice of him man That was nice that's cool You know cause now in my head I picture Maybe she gets the little money she does something Kind of fun something extra just some little

Thing maybe she wasn't thinking Maybe she's gonna get a little breakfast You know my mom used to like uh She would do something like a nice pancake breakfast But We had this gas powered skillet This thing was Limited time they sold it

And And it burned a hole in Um In the table One year but uh what else do we have man Um Hmm Let me see what this call

Hi Phil this is Susie again Um I called you earlier I left a message Um I'm Um single mom I have been looking For this pf5 Everywhere um I'm from Michigan and I'm trying to

Get it for my daughter for Christmas Um she's been doing really good in school She's remotely completing high school Online right now and it's been Challenging but I'm very proud of her She's been doing great Here in Michigan we've been shut down Because of the Rona

I feel ya baby that dirty Rona bruh That's that long aids baby Let me call you see what We can do Hello Hey what's up who's this Hey

It's Susie What up Susie What up Theo How are you What are you doing just chilling I'm just what am I doing not much Just drink some water just um Making some phone calls doing some podcasting

What are you up to Oh my gosh I'm actually cooking dinner Cooking dinner for the families Oh nice what are y'all having Mara Mara Theo's on the phone Uh we made some We made ravioli Green beans and

Damn Green beans and Damn you almost be rich huh No That sounds good Are you a good cook Um pretty good I like to cook

Um I want to thank you First of all just for thinking of somebody else And just you know calling and leaving your voicemail Um Or not really thinking of somebody else But just thinking of your daughter And uh You know I thought it was really sweet of you

Um the problem is We already gave away the PS5 But I wanted to try and think of something else That we could do That you think would be nice Oh my god I don't even know what to say Um She's still upstairs by the way

How about this I know it's kind of impersonal But what if we just gave you like a $500 gift card And you could do something nice for you guys Uh I know it's not a PS5 But um No I appreciate it so much

We've been Struggling I mean You know my Attitude is always positive but You know I've been job searching I mean It's tricky out there and look I'll trade you Just to hear from you

Just Just wow Well Well that's sweet of you thanks You know that makes me feel nice you know But to hear from you was nice You know uh You know and just to call and

You know um I just I'm grateful you guys that you guys listen to To listen to the podcast and just are a part of this group And anyway Yeah let me do that let me have uh I'll have Nick or Sean follow up With you Thank you so much

The PS5 has been just Crazy I can hear That's what I hear This one's there a year It's like for Christmas and I'm like I can't believe anybody can even Afford those things those things are like 900 Bones man

Um and yeah My family we were gonna You know you know how like kids when they want Something you gotta pull through whatever they were gonna Give me a couple hundred on it or whatever But you can't even get a hold of it Yeah that's the thing because we thought Well maybe we'll buy something to try to

So um yeah So yeah we'd be happy to help out in that sense And uh yeah just thank you Just thank you for making my day and thanks for the nice words Ah steel thank you Thank you so much Merry Christmas to you your family Like I love your podcast

I can't wait to hear the next one oh my god I don't even know Wow thank you for the phone call Yeah y'all enjoy the raviolis And uh you're welcome Suzy For sure For sure thank you You bet we love you bye bye That's cool man

Making a little dinner you know that's always nice You know when mom was a kid We always made dinner my mom was always working so You know we would always take turns Making dinner man And we would always act like it was something different But it was always macaroni I mean I think it was macaroni

For like 1600 Nights in a row like it was Always macaroni Sometimes we'd get a can and maybe some sliced Pears or something like that in their natural juice Alright let's take one more call right here Um thank you so much Hey Theo

My name is Caroline I'm from Gastronia, North Carolina Right outside of Charlotte I'm a huge Fan of this past weekend And also Keen and the Steam Thank you so much Thank you so much for those nice words

My nephew was diagnosed with cancer Like a year and a half ago And It was more this year like Quarantine and stuff when I started getting into Your podcast And Keen and the Steam But I would like

Look forward to new episodes All the time like I was just so sad And it really gave me something To look forward to Thank you You know it's funny how We all find kind of soulless in different things You know some people they want to listen to something

Some people you know Like a song we were saying earlier It does something to you Some people you know You want to put your hands in a mittin or something I used to have when I was young this I got a doormat from somewhere And I put it in my room

So it was near the floor in my room by the door When you were leaving My room had a doormat And when I was sad I'd go put my hands under it For some reason And just sit there with my hands under that Doormat And just I felt okay

Let's hear more But I was just listening to your podcast And I heard about The guy that Has the PlayStation He just won't detonate And my sister So my sister's 10 years older than me

But she has two kids And her oldest son Adam He just passed away in October From cancer He was 16 and then she has A younger son Andrew And He will be 15 in the summer

So He just lost his brother and I know she was trying to find like Something Like that like the new PlayStation to give to him for Christmas That would kind of be special But...

Well thank you so much for this Let's See if I can get a hold of you Hey Caroline Hello Hey what's up this is Theo You called into the podcast the other day from the podcast Oh my God

Yes Holy shit I'm laying them off the floor right now freaking out Oh damn You know what I'm saying Keep your clothes on I don't want to get accused of nothing Oh my God

I was literally just talking about you To my friend I'm like speechless right now I was literally just talking about you I don't even listen to music anymore I just listen to Theo Vaughn In my car and smile and just drive around

Like 20 minutes ago And now listen to your voice now My face is like pulsating Oh damn You might be on drugs I'm not I feel like I am Okay well look it sound like

If your damn face is pulsating You might want to chew up a little bit You might want to you know You might want to use a skin softener or something Um No I just wanted to say your message was so sweet Very nice of you to call Yeah we wanted to think of something nice we could do

Because we already gave away the playstation So I'm just trying to think of something else fun that we could do So we're committed I think playstations are just all sold out So we're committed to help find like um Xbox do you think the kids would want that Or do you think we should just wait and Whenever playstations come back

He Would prefer an Xbox over the playstation I just heard that guy say playstation I was like you know what I'm gonna call Sent in my driveway listening to this I've never called in a send in video Or anything

Well thank you Thanks for calling Thank you but He's like a big gamer So he's like Plays on his computer But he's been wanting the Xbox so bad But then when I heard that I was like oh my god

Like playstation Whatever I don't even know the difference But I just That he um He got an Xbox he would Keep in his pants Well damn he also whole family needed to tighten up It sounds like but uh

We're going through stuff But that's okay look loosen up or tighten up That's what they say man I do both sometimes Oh my god this is so crazy But look We want to uh yeah we'd love to So whether it's you know I have one of the producers Up with you and then we'll figure out if you know

What you guys want to do for him If it's a console or if we You know he wants games I don't know You know it's sweet of you to think of your Of your nephew and we want to be a part of Just uh you know making Christmas a little bit You know just do whatever we can to help out So there you go

Thank you Theo holy shit Well I love you over there I love you too Alright y'all be good alright stay off them Girl you know it Okay I will Deal deal deal and I will too

Okay Okay deal Bye Oh man that's great That's sweet Alright I think we had uh you know Just a fun enough episode Um

I'm really excited to Announce that on This of January Uh Uh January 15th At 7 PM

At 6 PM Pacific time 8 PM Central Uh Theo and Tammy who is Chelsea Lynn she came on the podcast a while back We're going to be doing a live event Um it's gonna have Sketches it's gonna have musical guests

Um I'm nervous about it I never done no sketches like that But I am excited about it at the same time I'm just trying to be brave So You know we'll see what it is and what it ain't But

It's new times man Things you can watch things live You'll be able to buy a ticket to it I think the tickets are $10 Um it's gonna be really neat We're putting a lot into the production as much as we can I mean it's gonna be Oh lord

I mean they are wild And little Jim is there and he's beautiful Little just a damn little Thick little sugar termite Bro and he's beautiful Just one of God's damn bunions This little fella This little crispy cracker

But anyway it's gonna be a lot of fun And so I hope you'll join us that night and check it out If you have a talent Or don't have a talent Um Keep tabs on the this past weekend Instagram we're gonna be Accepting talent and talented and untalented people

Because the show that we're putting on is a belated Christmas Talent extravaganza That's what it's gonna be and that's gonna be on January 15th So Be there It's gonna be cool

Um what else man That's really it you know We're heading into the holidays Um And it's a weird year to give out in the holidays It feels strange You know there's not as many places you can go Where the decorations are up

And Some cities and towns aren't doing You know even putting up putting up any decorations It's just a weird year Uh But we still got each other baby You know and even on tough days man I know that that's the right

Thing Not to give up on the people around us Because they want us to out there They want us to fight they want us to hate You know They don't want me good to go to a black doctor They don't want me to go to a Uh

To a um Middle Eastern Uh Chiropractor You know We just gotta keep just We gotta just keep We gotta just keep connecting man

That's all it is That's all it is baby Um You know in here and there we find comfort And I want you guys to be good to yourselves man You deserve it and thank you guys so much For loving me and being a part

Of my life this year I'm gonna play this same song on the way out That we came in baby Uh Larry Fleets Where I find God And You guys be good to yourselves man Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music When the fish just wouldn't bite

I'll pull my pole down and float it around It's just so quiet And I can hear my old man I love you guys The saints son just be still So you can't find peace like this And I bottle Lord Pym From a bar to a store to let it rule

Sunday morning in a church pew In a deer stand where hay feed And then I stay back to Nashville And shadow lay with the windows down Me and him just riding around sometimes Whether I'm looking for him or not That's where I find God Come on Larry, come on Larry

Sometimes late at night I lie there and listen To the sound of her heart beating And the song of crickets are singing I don't know what they're saying But it sounds like a hymn to me And all I ain't too good at praying But thanks for everything

Come on Larry, come on Larry From a bar to a store to let it rule Sunday morning in a church pew In a deer stand where hay feed And then I stay back to Nashville And shadow lay with the windows down Me and him just riding around sometimes Whether I'm looking for him or not

That's where I find God Come on Larry, so they have schedule They have schedule of bar stool to let it rule Sunday morning in a church pew In a deer stand where hay feed And then I stay back to Nashville And shadow lay with the windows down Me and him just riding around sometimes

Well I do that a lot Well I do that a lot That's where I find God Amen Amen baby Yeah We got this Everything's gonna be okay

You gotta be good to yourselves man, okay?