This Past Weekend - E317 Round Italians
Episode Date: January 15, 2021Theo discusses his view on Assimilation Theory, tells stories about The Comedy Store's late, great pianist, Jeff Scott and talks about Theo and Tammy's Belated Christmas Talent Extravaganza, the live,... virtual comedy event happening tomorrow, January 15th at 8pm CT! Tickets available through the link above. Get your tickets now! Get your ticket NOW for Theo and Tammy’s Belated Christmas Talent Extravaganza on January 15th: https://bit.ly/christmasextravaganzatickets New Merch https://theovonstore.com https://bit.ly/theo-von This episode is brought to you by: Athletic Greens: https://athleticgreens.com/theo Mint Mobile: https://mintmobile.com/theo Manscaped: https://manscaped.com/theo The Comedy Store's Jeff Scott - Final Interview: https://bit.ly/3nM8IAX Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn "Celebrate" - Spencer Jacob https://bit.ly/3oLMyA4 Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/ Sidepiece: Riley Mau https://www.instagram.com/riguythecameraguy/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You know it baby. You know it and you don't. Isn't that fascinating?
Mmm
You know I remember when I was young they had a fella in my neighborhood this little boy named low allen
And god damn he was small brother. He couldn't even he couldn't even put a large grape in his mouth
I
Mean he yeah, yeah, yeah to shove it in
And he was on every prayer list my god. He was just
Young fellow just monopolized
Prayer lists around every day every prayer list Allen Allen Allen
Allen again Allen times two
Just man so many prayers went up for small island man, and you know, I'm thinking about him
I know that actually today is his birthday
And that is January 14
In the year 2021 that's where we are
And I don't know if you're Bill or Ted
But we're in the future
I don't know if you're Tamara. I don't know how hell. I don't know who you are because I don't know you
I do not know you
But it's a wild one out there man, they need to start making underpants thicker because shit
Is getting real let's get into it
Come on
You thinking oh, there's no way he's gonna play it again, huh?
well
I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my
Oh, come on
tell him Travis
And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it I'll patch up where it's been
Come on, baby
Oh when I reach that
Ground I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones. Come on
But it's gonna take
A little time
For me to slip that parking brake and let myself on why
Shine that light on me
I sit and tell you my stories
Shine on me
And I'll even find a song with singing just for you
And that you know this Bishop guns shine
And you want to put somebody in your peril is put that band on it right there
You know they got so close to uh real stardom they really got close to it
And it really and it and it fell apart
You know it's hard to it's hard to
You know they really had it for a moment. I mean they had it them boys. They were opening up for the rolling stones there
And that's not a geometric deal. That is a famous musical
act
Or you know group talent quadrant
And um
And um and they were opening up for them in damn Dallas
One of the probably 15 20 biggest cities
Open and up for the rose stows, baby
And they let it all fall through their fingers man
But for a moment for a moment they had it
You know, it's interesting to think sometimes how small a moment is
You know, there's moments in my life where I want to
You know, I just want to hold on to it. I want to you don't want to capture the moment. I want to
It could be a birthday party
And you blowing out a candle when you see in that flame go out and you catch the eye of a real fine
match in the
And you want that moment to last you want to know hey, baby
I'm fucking cutting the flame off these fucking
Off these confectioners right here off these sugar fucking squadrons, baby. I you know, I got us
You want to look her in the eyes and say look
There's more sweet where this came from. Yeah
You know and you want to hold that moment
You remember when I was young when I was a child they had um
A little area by us it was uh a little preschool
And my mom said point blank you want to go to preschool and I said do I have to go she said no
And I said well, let me up in that bitch. Let me see what they doing in that bitch down
Let me see what they doing in that bitch down mom
And I went in and they wasn't doing much they let anybody in preschool
Now college is different you got a test to get into it
But for preschool you just got to have some MF or drop you off before 7 a.m. That was the only
You know that was the ACT that was it could you get out of a station wagon before 7 a.m
Then you qualify
And we we'd get in there we sit on the carpet they had a square carpet and it had all the numbers and letters on it
Or at least most of them I didn't know all of them
I probably knew to about L
And they had definitely one through zero on it going up to nine and then zero
And people would sit there and add one television they played different cartoons on it they played uh
Uh, um gummy bears on it
And gum now it's a damn sugar treat when I was young gummy bears was a damn
Hella was a fucking it was a program
These were you know
These were as a child you thought maybe you might meet them one day in the woods
And now it's a damn, you know, it's something they sell, you know, it looks like a damn bait
They sell it, you know, they sell it at the checkout buy, you know, it's a basic snack. It's barely a damn sugar snack
Shit shit looks Japanese really
But we enjoyed that man gummy bear
But we would sit there and some kids would piss themselves some kid didn't even know how to work
They bladder the parents would bring them there and they'd just piss out
Unbelievable
And I remember outside in the schoolyard there they had a little somebody cut down a tree
That about three feet of it left up out of the ground
And I remember one kid ran and jumped over it
This little fellow named Mikey
And they called him Roger, but
His name was Mikey
But they called him Roger, but um, he ran and jumped over it and I thought I can do that
I could run and jump over that
But I didn't really have the same Jim Jim netics
I didn't have the same Jim netics as Mikey Roger, baby, and I
You know, you know, my my father was in his 70s. My mother would deliver cookies at the time and uh
You know, that's not the real makeup of a damn
Pre-school Gayle Sayers
So I ran I jumped and
At the time I barely had a real
I mean, I barely had an Earl gray of a nut sack
And it caught on to the damn, you know, whatever tree that was
And somebody had undeniably cut the tree down for Christmas. It was this was right after Christmas
And somebody cut that bitch down and got it home and realized it was like a damn hickory or a baby maple
And said eff it and just put it in the yard, but um
But damn boy, if I didn't snag the lords I lead baby my nut sack on that thing and
And that hurt man, um
But yeah
You know, that's preschool and it's
uh
It's hit or miss baby. It's hit or miss
What's going on with you guys?
Oh, I gotta tell you we have the
And I'm excited. Thank you guys for being here today. Um
Fresh off that Dustin Poirier episode
I think I realized I've just I've turned into too much of a Dustin fan
And to maybe talk with him sometimes I just such a
You know, I'm just a fan of so much of who he is as a person and uh
And as a friend, he's been a good friend to me and um, you know, we've we've kind of we've developed a friendship over the years
Some and I'm not gonna say we're best friends or nothing like that dude because you know, uh,
I'm an adult and we don't really have best friends at this age, but um
Um, but he you know, obviously I'm a fan undeniably and
I'm just excited for him and and it was just I was just so excited to have him on and just like, you know
I was just grateful that he gave me that time. This guy's about to this man's in Abu Dhabi
You man this man's in the desert, baby
He's out there about to sand wrestle in that sand castle
Uh-huh
He's about to castle roll you feel me, um
And I just you know, he's got to get counter to the ground
I think but well, you know, and I want to sit there and sell but I don't know
I don't know
Some bit some bad bitch over there the uh, Nashville MMA put me into a damn figure nine last week
So what you know
I can't even answer the phone and one of my one of my hands is all
stagnant because of whatever she did to me damn hexed me
So I you know
I'm all I can do is just we cheer and
But when I lose the man's a champion and I was just honored to be in his presence
That's honestly how I feel
What's going on, um
What was I thinking about? Oh, we have the
The
Show and it is Friday night January 15th 8 p.m. You know, I'm so I'm just excited to be able to do this with Chelsea
and uh
And we're just gonna try to make it fun and to try something new
You know, I realize um
I realize that sometimes I you know, I get it it's hard to try something new sometimes as life gets going
Oh, well, I know what it's gonna be like. Well, I
You know, what if people don't like me after it? What if
You know, what if um, it's not what I'm used to
Um
And I have some thoughts like that, but I'm just trying to lean into it
And I'm trying to embrace it
You know just grab the mole by the damn mole skin
And just shake that me and yeah
But yeah, we have sketches you can get a ticket and that ticket means you just you can watch it
Is a $10 ticket you can sit there 8 p.m. Central Standard Time January 15th and watch it at home
And it's going to be live. We are
Going live
Um, we got trey lewis will be performing
Uh larry fleet you heard him on here where I find god. He will be performing live
We have some sketches that are going to be live. We have some sketches
That we've already put together. We have a talent show
with some real
illegitimate talents and legitimate
and illegitimate
I mean orphans of talents like I'm talking talents that have never met their parents
I'm talking them kind of talent be redheaded talents and uh, it's just going to be something so
Um
What else is going on man?
Oh, I had a damn dough my god. I had a doughnut
You know, I had a oh man. I had a done ever had a doughnut where you just
Where you're eat, I mean the whole time I'm eating it all I could hear my head I could hear that song
Uh, I bet that can't I bet you can't do it like me
I bet you can't do it like me
Oh, I bet you can't do it like me
Uh, I think it's like a rap song, uh, you know
It's an urban real that booty shaker
Oh, I bet you can't do it like me. You know, I mean this thing man
I put a look and I cut this thing in a quarters because I knew out the gate. This was a bad bitch this little Don
This little sugar Cinderella this bitch about to fucking
Turn into a damn
Taste gasm at midnight at the stroke of 12 in my mouth this thing I could I cut it in the quarters
And that's how old I am if somebody asks you how old you are you say well, I'm at the age
Where I will cut a doughnut in the quarters
And that's a that's an interesting age, baby
That's an interesting age out there and I cut this back. I mean this bitch was from Atlanta
You know what I'm saying this bitch was about that life, but you came to it like me
This bitch was about that live
You know, I mean this bitch had a couple gunshots on her, you know a couple gun
gunshots and her thigh she was about that life
And I cut that thing in the quarters and I had a man it's from five daughters bakery
It was in uh out here in the central east and it was oh
Oh my god
This thing made me wanna damn
I had to check with the lord to make sure we was good after that thing because it was good man
But that show is friday, uh, it's gonna have sketches live music
Um a talent show
You know, it's just it's a live show and that's what's interesting about these days that you can do a show and put it straight into people
You know, I don't have to go to some big fancy man up there
Or some fancy woman wishing she was a man
At a company somewhere and and and saying hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, mr. Andy
Hey, hey, mr. Yaville, mr. Barbara
Can I do the show?
No, you can't
That's gone and now you can go direct
And so it's just gonna be a nice time if you can't be there for uh 8 p.m
On friday central standard time
You will be able to get the show for a week or 10 days after you still be able to go online and uh and watch it
But i'm excited. It's gonna be a new adventure. I'm trying something new
And we've been working really really hard, uh to put on something good. So i'm really grateful to um
I'm just grateful to everybody that's been helping me
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Oh
What else um
Yeah, we got the show on uh on friday you can get a ticket in the links below. We have um
You know
I uh, I was thinking when I was young they had we used to go to this place bj's
And um
Some people think it means blow jobs, but we don't know what it meant, but they sold uh
Uh pizza, you know round italian
And we would go over there and mom would take us over there
And they had a lot of little teams in there, you know to bobcats a little softball or something
Or to have a little handicap little, you know, uh
You know hot wheels little handicap, uh
Kickball team or something they'd be in there and then bitches, you know and we come and we and we never play shit
We just be in there our family
And they had bad pizza over there in covington louisiana. They had bad pizza. They end the middle was real wet
And the middle was real wet and on some things you want a wet middle
But uh pizza ain't
But uh pizza ain't one of them
So
We'd be in there and you know, we had our allowance and
We'd earned it mom usually kept more than mom we usually earned more than we got
My mom had this allowance system where you never got it all
And um
And shout out to my voice uh patrick out there and he uh
Uh, he one time won a family football pool. It was his whole family 40 50 members
when we were in like
Third grade he won it and he won like $1,200 this is a long time ago and his mother convinced him
to buy a
Christmas village
And so he didn't know any better, you know, he's damn nine and so he bought it
He picked all the teams stand for texas tech old dominion. He picked it all michigan
And by the but by after he'd won a damn of $1,200
Which is like $4,000 today and his mother he said my mom went that money. She said well, we should invest it
And she made him buy a damn christmas village that you put out on the table
And if you think their relationship is booming today then
You don't know big business
um
But I remember we'd go over there to bj's pizza and
that video games in there and
You had to get the manager sometimes the pinball wouldn't work well
Yeah, to get the manager over there just fell out of come and put the ball if you know the ball would disappear and he this guy always had a couple extra on him
And the guy honestly
Homosexual I'll be honest, bro
And I didn't know at the time I was like, oh, he's just friendly
He likes to touch my neck and back a lot and he's you know, a lot older and
You know, uh, and he wears deodorant on his arms full arm
But now I know what I'm saying. Basically. I'm a sex
or home
They call them homeowners and I don't but they do but I sometimes I do
And um, what we talking about? Uh
Yeah, I don't even know um
Oh
Mom would take us over there
And we'd get us a little bit of a lounge we'd have our lounge and then mom they had a little uh
vending machine, uh, uh video gaming machine
legalized video gambling
You know slots little
And it was the one the early ones that just had the cards. It was just the five cards. You hold a couple
And we'd be dude. I'd be damn ten years old
Up against they had those, you know, those double those western doors
And in there they had three little setups
And somebody there's always somebody been pissed had pissed back behind a couple of the machines or whatever
But that was nothing. We didn't see it. But you knew it. It happened. It was that kind of place
And um
And mom would go in and we give her her our allowance and tell her what to bet on pick three pick nine pick the queen
And uh
And we lost it all
We lost it all as a family though
We lost it all as a family though
And you know, there's ways to the
There's a difference losing it all alone and there's a difference losing it all together
It just it just uh, it hits different but
But yeah, that was bj's pizza, man, and then we'd have a little mom we go next door that had a place called mackenzie's a bakery
Famous bakery and they ended up having the family ended up having a damn fire and somebody burned the death with all the uh
best recipes
You know, but that's that's louisiana, man
and um
We'd go over there and get a little sugar treat man little confectioner treat
You know, we each have a quarter and we could get you a little something, bro
You know get your little baby eclair nighttime eclair. They call them full chocolate on it
I'll get you a little one of those somehow every now and then we'd fuck up and get a meringue, bro. Oh
Nothing sadder than seeing some healthy little kids. I'm dirty little hey little dirty hands
Eating a damn fucking little french
Man look like a damn look like napoleon's uh appendix these little things, you know
just
piece of shit man, but uh
Uh
What else dude, what else is even going on? No, we we we've been working all day on the on the show for friday
So that's really the big thing that's going on
um
Got some exciting guests
So that's good
uh
Yeah, that's it. You guys sending some calls
um
I'm feeling happy to be alive. I want to share that, you know, I think sometimes I don't share
That I am excited to be living in god's world, bro
I'm excited to be living in whoever created this
I'm happy to be in here right now and um
I got to remember to say that on the days when I'm feeling it because I don't always feel it
As you well know
And so I have to remember
To share that out loud
So I hope you're doing well, um
And
Yeah, and I really do I hope you're just rolling with the punches
There's a lot going on right now out there
But when I make my world small and
Connect with the people that I care about there's
Nothing too different going on
You know if anything in some ways these times have been have helped me to make my life kind of smaller
Um
And so I have two options then I can enjoy that or I cannot enjoy that
And for today
I'm trying to enjoy that and I feel like I am
So that's good, man. Amen, bro. Praise god ban ptl baby
All right, let's take a couple a couple calls you guys couple calls have hit the hotline 9 8 5 6 6 4 9 5 0 3 as always
Is the hotline here on the 371st episode of this past weekend man, that's crazy
Um
That's really crazy. Oh, I want to tell I want to uh
If there's a memory, you know, and my family would go to bj's pizza over there
And years later I would work there. My brother would work there
You know, we got in but there was a class action suit. There was a fire. We were we went through all of that
I you know, I saw some good, you know
I saw some
You know, I saw some things I shouldn't have seen over there. I saw some things I should have seen
You know, I ended up getting I got a job there years later. I got fired
You know, I've told the story I was
Me and the other uh dishwasher had a contest who could hold our head under the dishwater the longest
You know basic
You know mono imano type deal
And I was down there. I'm on down there 40 seconds 42 43 and the seconds get hot, bro
When you ride in dishwater brother shit get I mean, it's not only you could feel the grease building on your shirt
But you feel the ability you're almost a champion
You know, this little bitch ass jason only has about 39 seconds. So I'm riding dirty now
So I keep going I'm at 43 seconds. I've ripped my head up out of the water and I yell straight up
Champion
And the boss had come in at the time wild wane they called them
And I'll say this every wane somehow gets called wild wane, which is bullshit
They need to definitely see how much of these wanes
is wild
Because many are not and this man was not wild
You know, he banged kind of a thick gal and he uh, and he smoked an r.i.p. Also
but um
Oh, but I yell champion the bosses right there fired me on the spot
But anyway, what was your favorite place to eat growing up if you had a favorite meal time you went
But
You know, uh before that when my father still lived with us we went to pizza hut
And it was a it was a damn four star four and a quarter four and a quarter stars
It was a four and a quarter star establishment when I was young
And it'd be you go sit in there the thick red plastic cups
With the crushed ice nobody was doing crushed ice
Nobody was doing crushed ice
And pizza did it man and people forget that shit
A lot of people now they say they see Pete, you know, they just think it's baskin robbins freaking little pervy uncle, bro
But they was more than that
And we would go then they had the salad bar they had pudding on a salad bar
Do people would pay for the salad bar just for a pudding?
That's my sabashima in a scalco. Uh, people would pay for the salad bar
Just for the
Yeah, that's a little sabashima in a scalco for you. People would pay for
I love you sabashima, um
But yeah, what was a restaurant that you hit that you loved give me a tell me a little bit about it
Maybe you and your father would hit hardies in the morning
And maybe y'all to hit a tim horton
Maybe you guys would hit a kfc in Shanghai because everything over there is a real shithole
But uh
But what would you hit tell me let me in on it
9856649503
um
You know, there was a death at the comedy store this week, uh, a man died
A man died and a man died, you know a man died and
And he died
He died and the man named jeff
And jeff was a pianist at the comedy store and he was probably
I mean, he was human furniture really he was a
He was like a water fountain of that place
And I meant that because he would really he would
He kind of spit a lot when he talked but also because he was a fixture, you know, he was
He was just a beloved man. He was the pianist
And when you brought up on stage when he broke when you came up on stage, he would play you up
And you know his comedians were so much in our head. We're in our own ego a lot of time. So once they call your name
It's just you feel your body walking up there and then you feel your body grabbing the mic
I would always say you guys give it up for jeff over here. You know, he's blind. I would say
And um
And he wasn't blind, you know
But he would pretend he was blind
You know, he would just kind of blind out
And uh
And he did it every time every time I got on stage there. It was just this little moment that he and I had
and um
And I know that sounds crazy, but it was just this thing that was
A constant
And we would have some nice chats, you know, we would have some nice chats
You know, he would always tell me nice things, you know, hey man, this thing this bit you're doing this really
It's good
Yeah, you're doing a good job
Just keep doing what you're doing
Nobody's doing
What you're doing
And he made me feel hopeful
You know, he gave me a lot of hope
And he also gave me he gave me a rape whistle also
But um
But yeah, he died, you know, he died
And uh
And he died and he died and um, he died
Like three or four days ago
And it really breaks my heart man because part of me wonders did he die from
Just the separation
You know, I think he was 60 or 70 years old. He might have been 75 years old
And part of me wonders how much of a man how much can a man's
You know with no connection
Like how many more people are we losing from covid because of disconnection
And I don't know if we'll know the repercussions of some of that
You know, especially a lot of people that struggle with addiction and struggle with
those sorts of
You know in all types of addiction, you know, it's like when we isolate it can be really not good. And so I wonder how many
How many people just stuck in their own
Little worlds without some reflection in the universe to let them know that they're good or they're okay
You know as much as jeff played us on his keys and brought us up there every night
uh
We everybody looked over at him and smiled
Everybody acknowledged me he'd go blow a joint, you know, he was gassed up so on that dude. He missed half of his work
You'd get off stage and and be ready to bring up the next person. He wasn't even there
He literally had to work like
12
One-minute spots throughout the night and he would probably make about eight of them
Um
But it was just he came there and he just
Everybody loved him. He was this weird
Like, you know, sometimes he'd throw one of those little rubber balls and it just goes it just goes
And it's bouncing off this and this and it's bouncing
And he was like that. He just touched everybody
Um
And and he had crazy stories man, he he he got aids, bro
He got aids and he you know, and I would even joke from stage, you know, jeff right here y'all give it up for jeff
He's terminally ill
You know and uh
And he got aids man, and I think that's brave as hell people say, you know
You know say this and that about aids, but I think that's that's brave as hell, man and um
He has a great episode with brian scolaro that is out and he had recorded it five days before his death
And you can go listen to that. We'll put the link as that as that as well in in below
And man, he you know
And he just he used to tell me about being young and being in a place called province town and it was a real gay, you know
Real like kind of gay hitmen do come up and just stab you six or seven times with that peter, bro with that wainer
That kind of place, you know, you trying to buy a soda and they give you half a cup of coffee
You know when he said he got taken advantage some and and then he ended up out in los angeles and uh
And then he ended up out in los angeles and uh
And he thought his life was gonna end but his life really began when he got out there
And I didn't really know that I would care as much
Not to say that meanly, but you know, you just don't know when some people leave the earth
How much it's gonna hit you and it just you know, it didn't
It just made me realize how different things are gonna be and how much a lot of people might be struggling
Um
You know and I didn't I didn't never know
You know, he really had I mean I just for him to wake up and be positive every day
And having gay aids man
And they just be to show up every day
You know and uh
And that's for you know
And that's really the that blood ghost baby aids
And um
Yeah, I just want to say thank you Jeff man, you know and we love you bro
And you were nice and you were warm and you were kind and
You didn't ever be wild or try to fuck or do anything wild like that you just
You know you gave homestead to people that needed it
And I felt like you would have shared with anybody you would have shared your time and I wish I had spent more time with you brother
You know, I wish I had gotten to know you a little bit better man, uh
You know and we love you Jeff Jeff Scott, I want to let you know that
Oh man, um, yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to get off like that but
Uh
You know life is just this
It's like
Life is just like this
Life's like this it's like a like an outfit or a costume or a coat
And the second I start to kind of feel like I know what it feels like
It
It turns into like a
Just a different
And I can never
I can never wear it right I can never know how I look in it I can never
I can never know if it fits really it's just brief moments of no of of life feeling tailored
um
Before it completely readjust man and and god bless you Jeff Scott man and uh
Yeah, and we love you bro, you know, I don't know if you know, and I don't know what you were going through when you were at home
And you were by you know for you know, what was going on, you know, and I'm sorry that uh, you and I weren't closer
But I just didn't realize how big of a part you were in my life and of a lot of other people's lives man
And I'm happy that I got to um cross paths with you on this realm brother gang
um
I want to let you know if you've ever had acne baby. So that's a date look
it's not I mean it's I mean it's
That's uh, you know a hemp a hamster is not a vetable animal brother. It's uh, that's a to-go lunch for a wolf
You know, I really think you should just let the lord work on him there brother
Uh, he took his blood pressure
Checked his heart rate this kind of stuff a little bit strange to me any case they also hit him with some antibiotics
So we're giving them antibiotics for a couple weeks
And then uh, he died he had they they didn't work and so now we buried him in the backyard
God is the number one veterinarian, okay
God is the number one veterinarian especially for a hamster
Okay, your hamster got to cataract that means it's looking for the lord, baby
Your pony needs a hip replacement
That don't mean spend $20 to get little daisy a new piss hinge. Okay, let the lord work
That means the lord gots his tool belt on and he ready to go to
Your frog has a lisp that don't mean it needs a speech therapy
It needs a grave
A grave is the lord's lost and found
Let the lord collect them and
Refurb them you feel me your hyena needs a chin bone. Well, let the lord
Your kitten got a cleft palate. Well, let the lord
Your guinea pig got a arthritis. Well LTL, baby. Let the lord
Y'all out here tinkering with the man's work
Somebody out in Beverly Hills got a pet mosquito in a back brace. Bitch. What the lord?
You're trying to teach his turtle Spanish?
Uh
Let the lord
Say y'all need to quit acting like god. Don't do the work and ill
Okay, that's what i'm telling you right there, baby
And thank you for calling Ali man. You guys be good over there brother gang
I gotta tell you right now. We'll get to a few more calls. Then we have a guest coming in athletic greens
The reason I take it is because I don't like eating celery all day
I don't like eating vegetable apples
All day. I like to get me some and get me some and go
I like to get me a little agua
Give me an athletic greens. Snip over the packet a little bit of green dust smoke comes out
And that's a vegetable. I will smoke
And I pull it in and I put ice cube in and I got up and I
Hit that thing like a jump
Hit that thing like a jump
That's what I'm saying, baby and that is athletic greens
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Look, I've got my mother on athletic greens. That's how much I trust it. Is your mother on it?
Let's go
um
Let's take another call right here. We'll take one more and then we will get to our guest today
Hey theo, my name's erin high tower and
Hey, erin and thank you for calling. I like erin man. It's a name a mixed name
It could be male or female pet
anything, bro
mystery
Ghost even gang brother praise god
I've been a video game programmer for a couple of years worked with a lot of folks
And I wanted to get your take on what's called the simulation hypothesis
I think there was a story that went around December 30th or so
Uh hit fox news and it's been doing the circuits. I haven't seen everywhere. It's been but um
Yeah, there's a guy michio kaku k a k you
Uh, and he's got some comments on it, but yeah, I wanted to get your take
I thought you would give us an entertaining insight
From your perspective what it might all be about. Thanks for everything. You're doing theo huge fan. Take care
Thank you very much erin
simulation hypothesis by kakatch
Oh, right. This says do we live in assimilation?
Gaging whether or not we dwell inside someone else's computer may come down to advanced AI research
Or measurements at the frontiers of cosmology
I have to pee. Okay. I'm back. Um
You know, do we live in assimilation? Do we live in a computer?
Man, it really a lot of it really starts to feel like it
You know, and I think for me
Some of it is because of how much time I spend on a computer
or
next to electronics
You know, it's gonna feel like it
It's gonna feel
I'm gonna feel like I'm locked into a database. Of course. I'm gonna feel like I'm
Probably being controlled by one. I'm
A computer sends me an email. It tells me that email usually a lot of times tell me what I need to do next
Where am I going? I put it into a calendar. So I go check on a calendar
And a calendar tells me okay, this way you have to be tomorrow two three seven p.m
Here who here's who else is coming
So it starts to be really that I'm following
And storing things that are important to me in an electronic world
So much so that
That I could easily see why if enough people suggested that we were living in assimilation
It wouldn't be hard for me to maybe feel that way
That somebody was you know, Nintendo switching me
Especially a lot of people switching sex as they get older
Like somebody just you know
You know did L2
You know did L2
Smash the right
L2 and then smash the R and then damn, you know Larry's got a cop now
You know or Bridgette wants some tits now
And that's that could be something that's happening
Do I feel like it
I think if I start to give in to that idea
Then that's not going to be good for me
I wonder how I would feel say if I cut off all electronics for myself for six months
Would I still feel like I'm in assimilation?
Or would I just start to notice that a lot of people are addicted to electronics and electronics and digit and digitalia
Because also I don't understand sometimes if we are say we're in assimilation
Sometimes I you know, I remember sometimes I would just leave the game on
I'd be playing PlayStation
PlayStation
Or something I would just leave the game on I would go and that's what I worry about sometimes
That somebody started assimilation and then maybe they got attacked or maybe they went outside to get something and somebody cut them
You know or cut you know or really disemboweled them
And they're never coming back to the machine
So it's kind of like in like war of
Uh, what is that thing called sim not sims, but um
That it's like a battle thing where you have crops and you know hey Donny get the wood, you know hey Cheryl, huh?
Won't you farm
Farm
So like you know, it has that whole thing going on and I wonder if sometimes that is just on that screen where
They went outside to get the mail somebody popped them off
And now they're never coming back to the controls again
So now we're just stuck here on this one page where nothing ever kind of happens
And we're starting to lose our minds a little
But
Also
I think we're just one little ice age or not even an ice age just like a real
You know kind of a
It's gonna be chilly out there today age
And away from us having to get back to ourselves
And what and what it feels like to just be
To connect with a different source we spend so much time connecting to this to this source
That of course we've started to feel like part of it
You know if I have seven pickles I'm gonna feel like a little like you know
I'm gonna feel a little green baby. You feel me and I'm gonna start believing in green shit
So I think that's where I am with it
I never felt that the rest of my life. So it's interesting that suddenly now within the past five years when we were getting so
I mean my device is always with me
It's never more than 10 minutes before I respond to a text user unless I don't want to
So
Or unless I have to think about it and that's scared. That's crazy
So for me that evidence seems more realistic
You know and I worry about the long-term effects of us not having an imagination anymore and things like that
But I think if I start if
Now do I believe that one day we won't turn you know get into AI where we just lay on a floor with our mouths open
And somebody you know we go clock in at work and we're just laying there all day watching our avatar work
And that becomes another world yeah, I could see that happening
I could see a huge transition of wealth in that way too because then you only can earn money in the avatar world
You know when this brain scape
So suddenly all the money whatever you have on the outside doesn't matter anymore
You know, I think it is interesting everything, you know, I don't know if it always happens
But it'd be interesting if a great equalizer comes across
And it sets it all at zero again
And then you find out what's in you
Oh, am I am I just going to cry am I just going to
Am I just going to think am I just going to judge am I just going to blame?
Or am I is some little part of me that still has a pilot light of damn
manhood and bravado and womanhood
Gonna fucking flicker
And pick up a fucking hard stick
I
Say let's go
I don't know, you know, I don't know
I
Do not
know
Riley Mao is here. Riley Mao. How you doing brother? Good
All right, man, um
You know, it's been a while and people have been asking about you and uh, I just wanted to know what um
The last we heard from you
You had a love in your life and you had come across some love and do you remember that? I do
Okay, good
and um
And tell me about that the girl Madison was her name
And you guys uh, and it kind of fizzled quickly. I remember is that something I'm recollecting well or no
You're right. Yeah, okay
And uh, take me through a little bit of that you guys had
How many dates did you go on?
Uh, just one okay
Okay
And it uh, and then after that what happened?
Uh, things just didn't work out
Between us. So we just we just uh, she went back to um a different state and we just never saw each other again
And when you say that things didn't work out, what does it mean? Cause you really felt I felt like you were into this gal
I was indeed um
But you know, hey things happen
Like what?
I mean
I mean, I I don't want to get into too much detail obviously. Um, but I mean it's just
I mean, she basically just saw another guy. She was interested in another guy. Really?
And did you ever meet this guy? No
No, he's he's in a in the her state as well. So
Oh, it's easier. Yeah
So she's taking the easy way out kind of hitting on some of a local guy. Yeah
Yeah, I hate when chicks do that. Oh, he's in he lives in my state. I'm gonna I'm gonna hook up with him, you know
um
What um
What how what else been going on man? How and has how was love treated you since then? Has there been
Anything new on the love horizon? Not yet, but um, but I you will be the first to know
Oh, what what when something happens? Oh, okay. Nothing has happened. No, not yet. Okay. And how uh, how were your holidays?
Did you enjoy it? Did you do something? What do you guys do? You guys go to hawaii?
No, my parents did they're they're they're right now. Oh, wow. Yeah, they left me there and they actually left me in california
um
Went to hawaii and um now i'm here and do you guys celebrate christmas? Yes
That's awesome man. Good. I'm glad you got to add that man. Um
What else man, what else can uh, what else do we need to know? I know it's been a while
And i'm glad that you're here now and i'm glad to be able to check in with you
um, do you
Do you
Have you been alive? What have you been? What is going on? Have I been alive? Yeah
Yeah, I've been alive. Okay. And what else man? Give me a little bit more than that. Give me
Have you been outdoors? You've been indoors?
Um, I've kind of been staying a little indoors just because of uh, covet
Okay, and is that fear hitting your community a lot or a lot of people going down? No, everyone's like just
Saying screw it. Let's go outside. Do vietnamese people get covet a lot or no?
I have no idea
Okay, keeping it close to the vest
um
Raleigh now you'll be uh, you're you'll be in uh, the um
Christmas talent extravaganza. I will be
exciting
Exciting i'm excited to see that man and i'm grateful that um
That you pop back in and i'm grateful that you know, hopefully we'll hear from hear more from you
What kind of ladies if there's a lady out there?
That really fancies a man like yourself, you know a small, you know, not small but a still growing maturing
Uh malleable, you know, uh eastern kind of you know, western kind of eastern man
what
What type of woman do you think does would deserve a man like you or is a good woman?
Um, i'm not i'm not a guy to be too picky
um
I mean just someone that you know treats a guy right
Simple as that. Do you feel like there's did madison leave you feeling like there aren't good women out there?
Did you did it leave you hopeful or hopeless? Did you feel like it it made me hopeful? Definitely really?
That's awesome, man. And what um
What do you uh, do you envision like uh any future moves with women because that was your first kiss, right? Right?
And do you envision like i'm sure you started to fantasize oh this is gonna go to another place like i've done this with women
You know, it's like you get the kiss and you think you're gonna get you know a double up
You know and things are gonna go crazy and you get all these crazy, you know ideas and you get sensuality creeps into your body
And next thing you know, you're just disgusted with yourself or touching yourself
But do you uh
How did you get like how did you stop the fantasies and stuff? How did you get away from that?
um
I mean honestly, I just said or I just thought in my head, you know, hey, she wasn't the one move on
There's plenty of people out there
There you go
There's plenty of koi in the pond right there
Maybe we'll find you a love out there. Raleigh. You never know true
Never know what happens
And do you have any other uh any other words of wisdom?
Um, no
Riley mal ladies and gentlemen, man, thank you. Thank you so much for being here and we'll hope you'll come back soon
We'll see you at the um belated christmas talent extravaganza on january 15th 8 p.m. Central standard time
um
I don't even know. Let me think uh if there was a
So, uh, oh, I know what this is. I wanted to play this on the way out
Um, you guys thank you for supporting uh this past weekend. Thank you for supporting our sponsors
um
You know, we got some new get that hitter merch that's out there and uh
A lot of stuff, but we don't have to get all to it all today
Uh to carry yourselves stay confident go saints go bills and uh, I'll see you guys on friday night
You hold that soon we're gonna die
Let's have some fun while we all
Celebrate dark days
Celebrate all your fine. This is spencer jacob growl
With never home
Let's have some fun while we all die
Bye
You guys be good to yourselves man. You guys deserve it. Love you. See you next time