This Past Weekend - E317 Round Italians

Episode Date: January 15, 2021

Theo discusses his view on Assimilation Theory, tells stories about The Comedy Store's late, great pianist, Jeff Scott and talks about Theo and Tammy's Belated Christmas Talent Extravaganza, the live,... virtual comedy event happening tomorrow, January 15th at 8pm CT! Tickets available through the link above. Get your tickets now!   Get your ticket NOW for Theo and Tammy’s Belated Christmas Talent Extravaganza on January 15th: https://bit.ly/christmasextravaganzatickets New Merch https://theovonstore.com https://bit.ly/theo-von     This episode is brought to you by: Athletic Greens: https://athleticgreens.com/theo Mint Mobile: https://mintmobile.com/theo Manscaped: https://manscaped.com/theo     The Comedy Store's Jeff Scott - Final Interview: https://bit.ly/3nM8IAX     Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn   "Celebrate" - Spencer Jacob https://bit.ly/3oLMyA4     Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503     Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline     Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw     Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis   Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/   Sidepiece: Riley Mau https://www.instagram.com/riguythecameraguy/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You know it baby. You know it and you don't. Isn't that fascinating? Mmm You know I remember when I was young they had a fella in my neighborhood this little boy named low allen And god damn he was small brother. He couldn't even he couldn't even put a large grape in his mouth I Mean he yeah, yeah, yeah to shove it in And he was on every prayer list my god. He was just Young fellow just monopolized
Starting point is 00:00:41 Prayer lists around every day every prayer list Allen Allen Allen Allen again Allen times two Just man so many prayers went up for small island man, and you know, I'm thinking about him I know that actually today is his birthday And that is January 14 In the year 2021 that's where we are And I don't know if you're Bill or Ted But we're in the future
Starting point is 00:01:12 I don't know if you're Tamara. I don't know how hell. I don't know who you are because I don't know you I do not know you But it's a wild one out there man, they need to start making underpants thicker because shit Is getting real let's get into it Come on You thinking oh, there's no way he's gonna play it again, huh? well I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my
Starting point is 00:01:56 Oh, come on tell him Travis And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it I'll patch up where it's been Come on, baby Oh when I reach that Ground I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones. Come on But it's gonna take A little time
Starting point is 00:02:38 For me to slip that parking brake and let myself on why Shine that light on me I sit and tell you my stories Shine on me And I'll even find a song with singing just for you And that you know this Bishop guns shine And you want to put somebody in your peril is put that band on it right there You know they got so close to uh real stardom they really got close to it
Starting point is 00:03:26 And it really and it and it fell apart You know it's hard to it's hard to You know they really had it for a moment. I mean they had it them boys. They were opening up for the rolling stones there And that's not a geometric deal. That is a famous musical act Or you know group talent quadrant And um And um and they were opening up for them in damn Dallas
Starting point is 00:03:58 One of the probably 15 20 biggest cities Open and up for the rose stows, baby And they let it all fall through their fingers man But for a moment for a moment they had it You know, it's interesting to think sometimes how small a moment is You know, there's moments in my life where I want to You know, I just want to hold on to it. I want to you don't want to capture the moment. I want to It could be a birthday party
Starting point is 00:04:40 And you blowing out a candle when you see in that flame go out and you catch the eye of a real fine match in the And you want that moment to last you want to know hey, baby I'm fucking cutting the flame off these fucking Off these confectioners right here off these sugar fucking squadrons, baby. I you know, I got us You want to look her in the eyes and say look There's more sweet where this came from. Yeah You know and you want to hold that moment
Starting point is 00:05:15 You remember when I was young when I was a child they had um A little area by us it was uh a little preschool And my mom said point blank you want to go to preschool and I said do I have to go she said no And I said well, let me up in that bitch. Let me see what they doing in that bitch down Let me see what they doing in that bitch down mom And I went in and they wasn't doing much they let anybody in preschool Now college is different you got a test to get into it But for preschool you just got to have some MF or drop you off before 7 a.m. That was the only
Starting point is 00:05:59 You know that was the ACT that was it could you get out of a station wagon before 7 a.m Then you qualify And we we'd get in there we sit on the carpet they had a square carpet and it had all the numbers and letters on it Or at least most of them I didn't know all of them I probably knew to about L And they had definitely one through zero on it going up to nine and then zero And people would sit there and add one television they played different cartoons on it they played uh Uh, um gummy bears on it
Starting point is 00:06:44 And gum now it's a damn sugar treat when I was young gummy bears was a damn Hella was a fucking it was a program These were you know These were as a child you thought maybe you might meet them one day in the woods And now it's a damn, you know, it's something they sell, you know, it looks like a damn bait They sell it, you know, they sell it at the checkout buy, you know, it's a basic snack. It's barely a damn sugar snack Shit shit looks Japanese really But we enjoyed that man gummy bear
Starting point is 00:07:23 But we would sit there and some kids would piss themselves some kid didn't even know how to work They bladder the parents would bring them there and they'd just piss out Unbelievable And I remember outside in the schoolyard there they had a little somebody cut down a tree That about three feet of it left up out of the ground And I remember one kid ran and jumped over it This little fellow named Mikey And they called him Roger, but
Starting point is 00:07:55 His name was Mikey But they called him Roger, but um, he ran and jumped over it and I thought I can do that I could run and jump over that But I didn't really have the same Jim Jim netics I didn't have the same Jim netics as Mikey Roger, baby, and I You know, you know, my my father was in his 70s. My mother would deliver cookies at the time and uh You know, that's not the real makeup of a damn Pre-school Gayle Sayers
Starting point is 00:08:28 So I ran I jumped and At the time I barely had a real I mean, I barely had an Earl gray of a nut sack And it caught on to the damn, you know, whatever tree that was And somebody had undeniably cut the tree down for Christmas. It was this was right after Christmas And somebody cut that bitch down and got it home and realized it was like a damn hickory or a baby maple And said eff it and just put it in the yard, but um But damn boy, if I didn't snag the lords I lead baby my nut sack on that thing and
Starting point is 00:09:13 And that hurt man, um But yeah You know, that's preschool and it's uh It's hit or miss baby. It's hit or miss What's going on with you guys? Oh, I gotta tell you we have the And I'm excited. Thank you guys for being here today. Um
Starting point is 00:09:36 Fresh off that Dustin Poirier episode I think I realized I've just I've turned into too much of a Dustin fan And to maybe talk with him sometimes I just such a You know, I'm just a fan of so much of who he is as a person and uh And as a friend, he's been a good friend to me and um, you know, we've we've kind of we've developed a friendship over the years Some and I'm not gonna say we're best friends or nothing like that dude because you know, uh, I'm an adult and we don't really have best friends at this age, but um Um, but he you know, obviously I'm a fan undeniably and
Starting point is 00:10:15 I'm just excited for him and and it was just I was just so excited to have him on and just like, you know I was just grateful that he gave me that time. This guy's about to this man's in Abu Dhabi You man this man's in the desert, baby He's out there about to sand wrestle in that sand castle Uh-huh He's about to castle roll you feel me, um And I just you know, he's got to get counter to the ground I think but well, you know, and I want to sit there and sell but I don't know
Starting point is 00:10:48 I don't know Some bit some bad bitch over there the uh, Nashville MMA put me into a damn figure nine last week So what you know I can't even answer the phone and one of my one of my hands is all stagnant because of whatever she did to me damn hexed me So I you know I'm all I can do is just we cheer and But when I lose the man's a champion and I was just honored to be in his presence
Starting point is 00:11:20 That's honestly how I feel What's going on, um What was I thinking about? Oh, we have the The Show and it is Friday night January 15th 8 p.m. You know, I'm so I'm just excited to be able to do this with Chelsea and uh And we're just gonna try to make it fun and to try something new You know, I realize um
Starting point is 00:11:52 I realize that sometimes I you know, I get it it's hard to try something new sometimes as life gets going Oh, well, I know what it's gonna be like. Well, I You know, what if people don't like me after it? What if You know, what if um, it's not what I'm used to Um And I have some thoughts like that, but I'm just trying to lean into it And I'm trying to embrace it You know just grab the mole by the damn mole skin
Starting point is 00:12:24 And just shake that me and yeah But yeah, we have sketches you can get a ticket and that ticket means you just you can watch it Is a $10 ticket you can sit there 8 p.m. Central Standard Time January 15th and watch it at home And it's going to be live. We are Going live Um, we got trey lewis will be performing Uh larry fleet you heard him on here where I find god. He will be performing live We have some sketches that are going to be live. We have some sketches
Starting point is 00:12:59 That we've already put together. We have a talent show with some real illegitimate talents and legitimate and illegitimate I mean orphans of talents like I'm talking talents that have never met their parents I'm talking them kind of talent be redheaded talents and uh, it's just going to be something so Um What else is going on man?
Starting point is 00:13:30 Oh, I had a damn dough my god. I had a doughnut You know, I had a oh man. I had a done ever had a doughnut where you just Where you're eat, I mean the whole time I'm eating it all I could hear my head I could hear that song Uh, I bet that can't I bet you can't do it like me I bet you can't do it like me Oh, I bet you can't do it like me Uh, I think it's like a rap song, uh, you know It's an urban real that booty shaker
Starting point is 00:14:08 Oh, I bet you can't do it like me. You know, I mean this thing man I put a look and I cut this thing in a quarters because I knew out the gate. This was a bad bitch this little Don This little sugar Cinderella this bitch about to fucking Turn into a damn Taste gasm at midnight at the stroke of 12 in my mouth this thing I could I cut it in the quarters And that's how old I am if somebody asks you how old you are you say well, I'm at the age Where I will cut a doughnut in the quarters And that's a that's an interesting age, baby
Starting point is 00:14:53 That's an interesting age out there and I cut this back. I mean this bitch was from Atlanta You know what I'm saying this bitch was about that life, but you came to it like me This bitch was about that live You know, I mean this bitch had a couple gunshots on her, you know a couple gun gunshots and her thigh she was about that life And I cut that thing in the quarters and I had a man it's from five daughters bakery It was in uh out here in the central east and it was oh Oh my god
Starting point is 00:15:29 This thing made me wanna damn I had to check with the lord to make sure we was good after that thing because it was good man But that show is friday, uh, it's gonna have sketches live music Um a talent show You know, it's just it's a live show and that's what's interesting about these days that you can do a show and put it straight into people You know, I don't have to go to some big fancy man up there Or some fancy woman wishing she was a man At a company somewhere and and and saying hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, mr. Andy
Starting point is 00:16:08 Hey, hey, mr. Yaville, mr. Barbara Can I do the show? No, you can't That's gone and now you can go direct And so it's just gonna be a nice time if you can't be there for uh 8 p.m On friday central standard time You will be able to get the show for a week or 10 days after you still be able to go online and uh and watch it But i'm excited. It's gonna be a new adventure. I'm trying something new
Starting point is 00:16:38 And we've been working really really hard, uh to put on something good. So i'm really grateful to um I'm just grateful to everybody that's been helping me Support for the podcast is brought to you by manscaped And it looky you're if you're a man you better be escaped out You can't be bringing no, oh, you know them hair and nuts out there to the ladies anymore They won't accept it You show up with that little hair bag, baby You show up and your your nuts is all braided on the sides. Yes
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Starting point is 00:19:45 I'm gonna let you know all so quickly after the year we've all been through Saving money should be at the top of everyone's resolution list. Some people you just see their list and there's crazy stuff up there My friend wrote down go hot ballooning I'm like you I said you mean hot air ballooning. Is that what you mean quincy? You say, oh, yeah, man Well, then write that quincy Because you're wrote hot ballooning And you put a lighter to a balloon
Starting point is 00:20:18 And you're hanging under from a basket son and you die and that's death son. That's what you're looking to do quincy. Oh, man I don't know So if you're still paying insane amounts of money every month for wireless, what are you doing? What are what are you doing? Switch to mint mobile. It's the easiest way to save this year And get out of those big boys pocket As the first company to sell premium wireless service online only Mint mobile lets you maximize your savings with plans starting at just $15 a month
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Starting point is 00:21:27 Go to mint mobile.com slash teo. That's mint mobile Dot com slash teo cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com Slash theo. Thanks you. Thanks you. Thanks you mint mobile Oh What else um Yeah, we got the show on uh on friday you can get a ticket in the links below. We have um You know I uh, I was thinking when I was young they had we used to go to this place bj's
Starting point is 00:22:10 And um Some people think it means blow jobs, but we don't know what it meant, but they sold uh Uh pizza, you know round italian And we would go over there and mom would take us over there And they had a lot of little teams in there, you know to bobcats a little softball or something Or to have a little handicap little, you know, uh You know hot wheels little handicap, uh Kickball team or something they'd be in there and then bitches, you know and we come and we and we never play shit
Starting point is 00:22:50 We just be in there our family And they had bad pizza over there in covington louisiana. They had bad pizza. They end the middle was real wet And the middle was real wet and on some things you want a wet middle But uh pizza ain't But uh pizza ain't one of them So We'd be in there and you know, we had our allowance and We'd earned it mom usually kept more than mom we usually earned more than we got
Starting point is 00:23:28 My mom had this allowance system where you never got it all And um And shout out to my voice uh patrick out there and he uh Uh, he one time won a family football pool. It was his whole family 40 50 members when we were in like Third grade he won it and he won like $1,200 this is a long time ago and his mother convinced him to buy a Christmas village
Starting point is 00:24:00 And so he didn't know any better, you know, he's damn nine and so he bought it He picked all the teams stand for texas tech old dominion. He picked it all michigan And by the but by after he'd won a damn of $1,200 Which is like $4,000 today and his mother he said my mom went that money. She said well, we should invest it And she made him buy a damn christmas village that you put out on the table And if you think their relationship is booming today then You don't know big business um
Starting point is 00:24:44 But I remember we'd go over there to bj's pizza and that video games in there and You had to get the manager sometimes the pinball wouldn't work well Yeah, to get the manager over there just fell out of come and put the ball if you know the ball would disappear and he this guy always had a couple extra on him And the guy honestly Homosexual I'll be honest, bro And I didn't know at the time I was like, oh, he's just friendly He likes to touch my neck and back a lot and he's you know, a lot older and
Starting point is 00:25:18 You know, uh, and he wears deodorant on his arms full arm But now I know what I'm saying. Basically. I'm a sex or home They call them homeowners and I don't but they do but I sometimes I do And um, what we talking about? Uh Yeah, I don't even know um Oh Mom would take us over there
Starting point is 00:25:48 And we'd get us a little bit of a lounge we'd have our lounge and then mom they had a little uh vending machine, uh, uh video gaming machine legalized video gambling You know slots little And it was the one the early ones that just had the cards. It was just the five cards. You hold a couple And we'd be dude. I'd be damn ten years old Up against they had those, you know, those double those western doors And in there they had three little setups
Starting point is 00:26:17 And somebody there's always somebody been pissed had pissed back behind a couple of the machines or whatever But that was nothing. We didn't see it. But you knew it. It happened. It was that kind of place And um And mom would go in and we give her her our allowance and tell her what to bet on pick three pick nine pick the queen And uh And we lost it all We lost it all as a family though We lost it all as a family though
Starting point is 00:26:48 And you know, there's ways to the There's a difference losing it all alone and there's a difference losing it all together It just it just uh, it hits different but But yeah, that was bj's pizza, man, and then we'd have a little mom we go next door that had a place called mackenzie's a bakery Famous bakery and they ended up having the family ended up having a damn fire and somebody burned the death with all the uh best recipes You know, but that's that's louisiana, man and um
Starting point is 00:27:24 We'd go over there and get a little sugar treat man little confectioner treat You know, we each have a quarter and we could get you a little something, bro You know get your little baby eclair nighttime eclair. They call them full chocolate on it I'll get you a little one of those somehow every now and then we'd fuck up and get a meringue, bro. Oh Nothing sadder than seeing some healthy little kids. I'm dirty little hey little dirty hands Eating a damn fucking little french Man look like a damn look like napoleon's uh appendix these little things, you know just
Starting point is 00:28:04 piece of shit man, but uh Uh What else dude, what else is even going on? No, we we we've been working all day on the on the show for friday So that's really the big thing that's going on um Got some exciting guests So that's good uh
Starting point is 00:28:25 Yeah, that's it. You guys sending some calls um I'm feeling happy to be alive. I want to share that, you know, I think sometimes I don't share That I am excited to be living in god's world, bro I'm excited to be living in whoever created this I'm happy to be in here right now and um I got to remember to say that on the days when I'm feeling it because I don't always feel it As you well know
Starting point is 00:28:56 And so I have to remember To share that out loud So I hope you're doing well, um And Yeah, and I really do I hope you're just rolling with the punches There's a lot going on right now out there But when I make my world small and Connect with the people that I care about there's
Starting point is 00:29:27 Nothing too different going on You know if anything in some ways these times have been have helped me to make my life kind of smaller Um And so I have two options then I can enjoy that or I cannot enjoy that And for today I'm trying to enjoy that and I feel like I am So that's good, man. Amen, bro. Praise god ban ptl baby All right, let's take a couple a couple calls you guys couple calls have hit the hotline 9 8 5 6 6 4 9 5 0 3 as always
Starting point is 00:30:13 Is the hotline here on the 371st episode of this past weekend man, that's crazy Um That's really crazy. Oh, I want to tell I want to uh If there's a memory, you know, and my family would go to bj's pizza over there And years later I would work there. My brother would work there You know, we got in but there was a class action suit. There was a fire. We were we went through all of that I you know, I saw some good, you know I saw some
Starting point is 00:30:47 You know, I saw some things I shouldn't have seen over there. I saw some things I should have seen You know, I ended up getting I got a job there years later. I got fired You know, I've told the story I was Me and the other uh dishwasher had a contest who could hold our head under the dishwater the longest You know basic You know mono imano type deal And I was down there. I'm on down there 40 seconds 42 43 and the seconds get hot, bro When you ride in dishwater brother shit get I mean, it's not only you could feel the grease building on your shirt
Starting point is 00:31:22 But you feel the ability you're almost a champion You know, this little bitch ass jason only has about 39 seconds. So I'm riding dirty now So I keep going I'm at 43 seconds. I've ripped my head up out of the water and I yell straight up Champion And the boss had come in at the time wild wane they called them And I'll say this every wane somehow gets called wild wane, which is bullshit They need to definitely see how much of these wanes is wild
Starting point is 00:31:58 Because many are not and this man was not wild You know, he banged kind of a thick gal and he uh, and he smoked an r.i.p. Also but um Oh, but I yell champion the bosses right there fired me on the spot But anyway, what was your favorite place to eat growing up if you had a favorite meal time you went But You know, uh before that when my father still lived with us we went to pizza hut And it was a it was a damn four star four and a quarter four and a quarter stars
Starting point is 00:32:38 It was a four and a quarter star establishment when I was young And it'd be you go sit in there the thick red plastic cups With the crushed ice nobody was doing crushed ice Nobody was doing crushed ice And pizza did it man and people forget that shit A lot of people now they say they see Pete, you know, they just think it's baskin robbins freaking little pervy uncle, bro But they was more than that And we would go then they had the salad bar they had pudding on a salad bar
Starting point is 00:33:14 Do people would pay for the salad bar just for a pudding? That's my sabashima in a scalco. Uh, people would pay for the salad bar Just for the Yeah, that's a little sabashima in a scalco for you. People would pay for I love you sabashima, um But yeah, what was a restaurant that you hit that you loved give me a tell me a little bit about it Maybe you and your father would hit hardies in the morning And maybe y'all to hit a tim horton
Starting point is 00:34:06 Maybe you guys would hit a kfc in Shanghai because everything over there is a real shithole But uh But what would you hit tell me let me in on it 9856649503 um You know, there was a death at the comedy store this week, uh, a man died A man died and a man died, you know a man died and And he died
Starting point is 00:34:47 He died and the man named jeff And jeff was a pianist at the comedy store and he was probably I mean, he was human furniture really he was a He was like a water fountain of that place And I meant that because he would really he would He kind of spit a lot when he talked but also because he was a fixture, you know, he was He was just a beloved man. He was the pianist And when you brought up on stage when he broke when you came up on stage, he would play you up
Starting point is 00:35:22 And you know his comedians were so much in our head. We're in our own ego a lot of time. So once they call your name It's just you feel your body walking up there and then you feel your body grabbing the mic I would always say you guys give it up for jeff over here. You know, he's blind. I would say And um And he wasn't blind, you know But he would pretend he was blind You know, he would just kind of blind out And uh
Starting point is 00:35:52 And he did it every time every time I got on stage there. It was just this little moment that he and I had and um And I know that sounds crazy, but it was just this thing that was A constant And we would have some nice chats, you know, we would have some nice chats You know, he would always tell me nice things, you know, hey man, this thing this bit you're doing this really It's good Yeah, you're doing a good job
Starting point is 00:36:24 Just keep doing what you're doing Nobody's doing What you're doing And he made me feel hopeful You know, he gave me a lot of hope And he also gave me he gave me a rape whistle also But um But yeah, he died, you know, he died
Starting point is 00:36:54 And uh And he died and he died and um, he died Like three or four days ago And it really breaks my heart man because part of me wonders did he die from Just the separation You know, I think he was 60 or 70 years old. He might have been 75 years old And part of me wonders how much of a man how much can a man's You know with no connection
Starting point is 00:37:32 Like how many more people are we losing from covid because of disconnection And I don't know if we'll know the repercussions of some of that You know, especially a lot of people that struggle with addiction and struggle with those sorts of You know in all types of addiction, you know, it's like when we isolate it can be really not good. And so I wonder how many How many people just stuck in their own Little worlds without some reflection in the universe to let them know that they're good or they're okay You know as much as jeff played us on his keys and brought us up there every night
Starting point is 00:38:23 uh We everybody looked over at him and smiled Everybody acknowledged me he'd go blow a joint, you know, he was gassed up so on that dude. He missed half of his work You'd get off stage and and be ready to bring up the next person. He wasn't even there He literally had to work like 12 One-minute spots throughout the night and he would probably make about eight of them Um
Starting point is 00:38:56 But it was just he came there and he just Everybody loved him. He was this weird Like, you know, sometimes he'd throw one of those little rubber balls and it just goes it just goes And it's bouncing off this and this and it's bouncing And he was like that. He just touched everybody Um And and he had crazy stories man, he he he got aids, bro He got aids and he you know, and I would even joke from stage, you know, jeff right here y'all give it up for jeff
Starting point is 00:39:34 He's terminally ill You know and uh And he got aids man, and I think that's brave as hell people say, you know You know say this and that about aids, but I think that's that's brave as hell, man and um He has a great episode with brian scolaro that is out and he had recorded it five days before his death And you can go listen to that. We'll put the link as that as that as well in in below And man, he you know And he just he used to tell me about being young and being in a place called province town and it was a real gay, you know
Starting point is 00:40:14 Real like kind of gay hitmen do come up and just stab you six or seven times with that peter, bro with that wainer That kind of place, you know, you trying to buy a soda and they give you half a cup of coffee You know when he said he got taken advantage some and and then he ended up out in los angeles and uh And then he ended up out in los angeles and uh And he thought his life was gonna end but his life really began when he got out there And I didn't really know that I would care as much Not to say that meanly, but you know, you just don't know when some people leave the earth How much it's gonna hit you and it just you know, it didn't
Starting point is 00:40:57 It just made me realize how different things are gonna be and how much a lot of people might be struggling Um You know and I didn't I didn't never know You know, he really had I mean I just for him to wake up and be positive every day And having gay aids man And they just be to show up every day You know and uh And that's for you know
Starting point is 00:41:45 And that's really the that blood ghost baby aids And um Yeah, I just want to say thank you Jeff man, you know and we love you bro And you were nice and you were warm and you were kind and You didn't ever be wild or try to fuck or do anything wild like that you just You know you gave homestead to people that needed it And I felt like you would have shared with anybody you would have shared your time and I wish I had spent more time with you brother You know, I wish I had gotten to know you a little bit better man, uh
Starting point is 00:42:40 You know and we love you Jeff Jeff Scott, I want to let you know that Oh man, um, yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to get off like that but Uh You know life is just this It's like Life is just like this Life's like this it's like a like an outfit or a costume or a coat And the second I start to kind of feel like I know what it feels like
Starting point is 00:43:37 It It turns into like a Just a different And I can never I can never wear it right I can never know how I look in it I can never I can never know if it fits really it's just brief moments of no of of life feeling tailored um Before it completely readjust man and and god bless you Jeff Scott man and uh
Starting point is 00:44:21 Yeah, and we love you bro, you know, I don't know if you know, and I don't know what you were going through when you were at home And you were by you know for you know, what was going on, you know, and I'm sorry that uh, you and I weren't closer But I just didn't realize how big of a part you were in my life and of a lot of other people's lives man And I'm happy that I got to um cross paths with you on this realm brother gang um I want to let you know if you've ever had acne baby. So that's a date look it's not I mean it's I mean it's That's uh, you know a hemp a hamster is not a vetable animal brother. It's uh, that's a to-go lunch for a wolf
Starting point is 00:45:00 You know, I really think you should just let the lord work on him there brother Uh, he took his blood pressure Checked his heart rate this kind of stuff a little bit strange to me any case they also hit him with some antibiotics So we're giving them antibiotics for a couple weeks And then uh, he died he had they they didn't work and so now we buried him in the backyard God is the number one veterinarian, okay God is the number one veterinarian especially for a hamster Okay, your hamster got to cataract that means it's looking for the lord, baby
Starting point is 00:45:41 Your pony needs a hip replacement That don't mean spend $20 to get little daisy a new piss hinge. Okay, let the lord work That means the lord gots his tool belt on and he ready to go to Your frog has a lisp that don't mean it needs a speech therapy It needs a grave A grave is the lord's lost and found Let the lord collect them and Refurb them you feel me your hyena needs a chin bone. Well, let the lord
Starting point is 00:46:18 Your kitten got a cleft palate. Well, let the lord Your guinea pig got a arthritis. Well LTL, baby. Let the lord Y'all out here tinkering with the man's work Somebody out in Beverly Hills got a pet mosquito in a back brace. Bitch. What the lord? You're trying to teach his turtle Spanish? Uh Let the lord Say y'all need to quit acting like god. Don't do the work and ill
Starting point is 00:46:58 Okay, that's what i'm telling you right there, baby And thank you for calling Ali man. You guys be good over there brother gang I gotta tell you right now. We'll get to a few more calls. Then we have a guest coming in athletic greens The reason I take it is because I don't like eating celery all day I don't like eating vegetable apples All day. I like to get me some and get me some and go I like to get me a little agua Give me an athletic greens. Snip over the packet a little bit of green dust smoke comes out
Starting point is 00:47:30 And that's a vegetable. I will smoke And I pull it in and I put ice cube in and I got up and I Hit that thing like a jump Hit that thing like a jump That's what I'm saying, baby and that is athletic greens Today's program is brought to you by athletic greens with so many stressors in life It's difficult to maintain effective nutritional habits and that's true You get up. You're on the go. You already have somewhere to be tomorrow
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Starting point is 00:49:45 Okay Around the world who make a daily commitment to their health every day twitter is a shithole Again, simply visit athletic greens dot com slash theo and get your free year supply of vitamin d and five free travel packs today Look, I've got my mother on athletic greens. That's how much I trust it. Is your mother on it? Let's go um Let's take another call right here. We'll take one more and then we will get to our guest today Hey theo, my name's erin high tower and
Starting point is 00:50:24 Hey, erin and thank you for calling. I like erin man. It's a name a mixed name It could be male or female pet anything, bro mystery Ghost even gang brother praise god I've been a video game programmer for a couple of years worked with a lot of folks And I wanted to get your take on what's called the simulation hypothesis I think there was a story that went around December 30th or so
Starting point is 00:50:52 Uh hit fox news and it's been doing the circuits. I haven't seen everywhere. It's been but um Yeah, there's a guy michio kaku k a k you Uh, and he's got some comments on it, but yeah, I wanted to get your take I thought you would give us an entertaining insight From your perspective what it might all be about. Thanks for everything. You're doing theo huge fan. Take care Thank you very much erin simulation hypothesis by kakatch Oh, right. This says do we live in assimilation?
Starting point is 00:51:26 Gaging whether or not we dwell inside someone else's computer may come down to advanced AI research Or measurements at the frontiers of cosmology I have to pee. Okay. I'm back. Um You know, do we live in assimilation? Do we live in a computer? Man, it really a lot of it really starts to feel like it You know, and I think for me Some of it is because of how much time I spend on a computer or
Starting point is 00:52:02 next to electronics You know, it's gonna feel like it It's gonna feel I'm gonna feel like I'm locked into a database. Of course. I'm gonna feel like I'm Probably being controlled by one. I'm A computer sends me an email. It tells me that email usually a lot of times tell me what I need to do next Where am I going? I put it into a calendar. So I go check on a calendar And a calendar tells me okay, this way you have to be tomorrow two three seven p.m
Starting point is 00:52:35 Here who here's who else is coming So it starts to be really that I'm following And storing things that are important to me in an electronic world So much so that That I could easily see why if enough people suggested that we were living in assimilation It wouldn't be hard for me to maybe feel that way That somebody was you know, Nintendo switching me Especially a lot of people switching sex as they get older
Starting point is 00:53:21 Like somebody just you know You know did L2 You know did L2 Smash the right L2 and then smash the R and then damn, you know Larry's got a cop now You know or Bridgette wants some tits now And that's that could be something that's happening Do I feel like it
Starting point is 00:53:54 I think if I start to give in to that idea Then that's not going to be good for me I wonder how I would feel say if I cut off all electronics for myself for six months Would I still feel like I'm in assimilation? Or would I just start to notice that a lot of people are addicted to electronics and electronics and digit and digitalia Because also I don't understand sometimes if we are say we're in assimilation Sometimes I you know, I remember sometimes I would just leave the game on I'd be playing PlayStation
Starting point is 00:54:44 PlayStation Or something I would just leave the game on I would go and that's what I worry about sometimes That somebody started assimilation and then maybe they got attacked or maybe they went outside to get something and somebody cut them You know or cut you know or really disemboweled them And they're never coming back to the machine So it's kind of like in like war of Uh, what is that thing called sim not sims, but um That it's like a battle thing where you have crops and you know hey Donny get the wood, you know hey Cheryl, huh?
Starting point is 00:55:28 Won't you farm Farm So like you know, it has that whole thing going on and I wonder if sometimes that is just on that screen where They went outside to get the mail somebody popped them off And now they're never coming back to the controls again So now we're just stuck here on this one page where nothing ever kind of happens And we're starting to lose our minds a little But
Starting point is 00:56:01 Also I think we're just one little ice age or not even an ice age just like a real You know kind of a It's gonna be chilly out there today age And away from us having to get back to ourselves And what and what it feels like to just be To connect with a different source we spend so much time connecting to this to this source That of course we've started to feel like part of it
Starting point is 00:56:42 You know if I have seven pickles I'm gonna feel like a little like you know I'm gonna feel a little green baby. You feel me and I'm gonna start believing in green shit So I think that's where I am with it I never felt that the rest of my life. So it's interesting that suddenly now within the past five years when we were getting so I mean my device is always with me It's never more than 10 minutes before I respond to a text user unless I don't want to So Or unless I have to think about it and that's scared. That's crazy
Starting point is 00:57:21 So for me that evidence seems more realistic You know and I worry about the long-term effects of us not having an imagination anymore and things like that But I think if I start if Now do I believe that one day we won't turn you know get into AI where we just lay on a floor with our mouths open And somebody you know we go clock in at work and we're just laying there all day watching our avatar work And that becomes another world yeah, I could see that happening I could see a huge transition of wealth in that way too because then you only can earn money in the avatar world You know when this brain scape
Starting point is 00:58:10 So suddenly all the money whatever you have on the outside doesn't matter anymore You know, I think it is interesting everything, you know, I don't know if it always happens But it'd be interesting if a great equalizer comes across And it sets it all at zero again And then you find out what's in you Oh, am I am I just going to cry am I just going to Am I just going to think am I just going to judge am I just going to blame? Or am I is some little part of me that still has a pilot light of damn
Starting point is 00:58:48 manhood and bravado and womanhood Gonna fucking flicker And pick up a fucking hard stick I Say let's go I don't know, you know, I don't know I Do not
Starting point is 00:59:11 know Riley Mao is here. Riley Mao. How you doing brother? Good All right, man, um You know, it's been a while and people have been asking about you and uh, I just wanted to know what um The last we heard from you You had a love in your life and you had come across some love and do you remember that? I do Okay, good and um
Starting point is 00:59:39 And tell me about that the girl Madison was her name And you guys uh, and it kind of fizzled quickly. I remember is that something I'm recollecting well or no You're right. Yeah, okay And uh, take me through a little bit of that you guys had How many dates did you go on? Uh, just one okay Okay And it uh, and then after that what happened?
Starting point is 01:00:02 Uh, things just didn't work out Between us. So we just we just uh, she went back to um a different state and we just never saw each other again And when you say that things didn't work out, what does it mean? Cause you really felt I felt like you were into this gal I was indeed um But you know, hey things happen Like what? I mean I mean, I I don't want to get into too much detail obviously. Um, but I mean it's just
Starting point is 01:00:35 I mean, she basically just saw another guy. She was interested in another guy. Really? And did you ever meet this guy? No No, he's he's in a in the her state as well. So Oh, it's easier. Yeah So she's taking the easy way out kind of hitting on some of a local guy. Yeah Yeah, I hate when chicks do that. Oh, he's in he lives in my state. I'm gonna I'm gonna hook up with him, you know um What um
Starting point is 01:01:02 What how what else been going on man? How and has how was love treated you since then? Has there been Anything new on the love horizon? Not yet, but um, but I you will be the first to know Oh, what what when something happens? Oh, okay. Nothing has happened. No, not yet. Okay. And how uh, how were your holidays? Did you enjoy it? Did you do something? What do you guys do? You guys go to hawaii? No, my parents did they're they're they're right now. Oh, wow. Yeah, they left me there and they actually left me in california um Went to hawaii and um now i'm here and do you guys celebrate christmas? Yes That's awesome man. Good. I'm glad you got to add that man. Um
Starting point is 01:01:46 What else man, what else can uh, what else do we need to know? I know it's been a while And i'm glad that you're here now and i'm glad to be able to check in with you um, do you Do you Have you been alive? What have you been? What is going on? Have I been alive? Yeah Yeah, I've been alive. Okay. And what else man? Give me a little bit more than that. Give me Have you been outdoors? You've been indoors? Um, I've kind of been staying a little indoors just because of uh, covet
Starting point is 01:02:15 Okay, and is that fear hitting your community a lot or a lot of people going down? No, everyone's like just Saying screw it. Let's go outside. Do vietnamese people get covet a lot or no? I have no idea Okay, keeping it close to the vest um Raleigh now you'll be uh, you're you'll be in uh, the um Christmas talent extravaganza. I will be exciting
Starting point is 01:02:46 Exciting i'm excited to see that man and i'm grateful that um That you pop back in and i'm grateful that you know, hopefully we'll hear from hear more from you What kind of ladies if there's a lady out there? That really fancies a man like yourself, you know a small, you know, not small but a still growing maturing Uh malleable, you know, uh eastern kind of you know, western kind of eastern man what What type of woman do you think does would deserve a man like you or is a good woman? Um, i'm not i'm not a guy to be too picky
Starting point is 01:03:23 um I mean just someone that you know treats a guy right Simple as that. Do you feel like there's did madison leave you feeling like there aren't good women out there? Did you did it leave you hopeful or hopeless? Did you feel like it it made me hopeful? Definitely really? That's awesome, man. And what um What do you uh, do you envision like uh any future moves with women because that was your first kiss, right? Right? And do you envision like i'm sure you started to fantasize oh this is gonna go to another place like i've done this with women You know, it's like you get the kiss and you think you're gonna get you know a double up
Starting point is 01:04:00 You know and things are gonna go crazy and you get all these crazy, you know ideas and you get sensuality creeps into your body And next thing you know, you're just disgusted with yourself or touching yourself But do you uh How did you get like how did you stop the fantasies and stuff? How did you get away from that? um I mean honestly, I just said or I just thought in my head, you know, hey, she wasn't the one move on There's plenty of people out there There you go
Starting point is 01:04:32 There's plenty of koi in the pond right there Maybe we'll find you a love out there. Raleigh. You never know true Never know what happens And do you have any other uh any other words of wisdom? Um, no Riley mal ladies and gentlemen, man, thank you. Thank you so much for being here and we'll hope you'll come back soon We'll see you at the um belated christmas talent extravaganza on january 15th 8 p.m. Central standard time um
Starting point is 01:05:09 I don't even know. Let me think uh if there was a So, uh, oh, I know what this is. I wanted to play this on the way out Um, you guys thank you for supporting uh this past weekend. Thank you for supporting our sponsors um You know, we got some new get that hitter merch that's out there and uh A lot of stuff, but we don't have to get all to it all today Uh to carry yourselves stay confident go saints go bills and uh, I'll see you guys on friday night You hold that soon we're gonna die
Starting point is 01:06:13 Let's have some fun while we all Celebrate dark days Celebrate all your fine. This is spencer jacob growl With never home Let's have some fun while we all die Bye You guys be good to yourselves man. You guys deserve it. Love you. See you next time

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