This Past Weekend - E320 Jim Breuer

Episode Date: February 7, 2021

Theo sits down with SNL alum and Half Baked icon, Jim Breuer, to discuss the state of comedy, crazy Norm MacDonald stories and Jim's journey of caring for his father.   New Merch https://theovonstore.com https://bit.ly/theo-von   This episode is brought to you by: BlueChew: https://bluechew.com and use promo code THEO The Zebra: https://thezebra.com/theo Babbel: https://babbel.com and use promo code THEO for an extra 3 months free Modiphy: https://modiphy.com/theo to schedule your free demo today Liquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com     Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn     Hit the Hotline [phone]     Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline     Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw     Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis   Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is brought to you by liquid death mountain water murder your thirst Today's guest is um, I mean the dad the dude is just a real You know, he's gone the road most traveled and then The road he wanted to travel We're gonna learn, you know, I don't know if we're gonna learn shit, but we're gonna do our best man I'm just honored to be here here with him today. I actually met him 20 years ago But neither one of us really remembers it. But um, but we'll get into it ladies and gentlemen, mr. Jim

I Once you realize the point of you're not in it for the rest of the world You're in it for you And for what you want to put out there. I don't care what this one says What movie they'll put me I don't care. Yeah is this is You can't get a better life than what you're doing right now. Yeah, you can't You you beat the system. Yeah, that is uh Uh

There's no better thing in life You control your destiny. Yeah, I think I feel sometimes are we rolling John? I think I feel sometimes like There's always this thing like Like if you don't there's like a validation this like this this invisible validation You know I'm talking about that comes from it's this hollywood thing It's like, oh if I don't you know, I could have I could be selling tickets But if I'm not on the tonight show man, I'm a no, you know, there's no

I don't have that. I haven't been licked by the goose or something, you know Of course, let's say I start I started out. I wanted to be accepted by By this guy and this guy and this comedian because all comedians are like unless you're accepted by This guy or that guy right and um, you're not in I'm not in and and to be honest with you. I didn't like any of them because I didn't like any of them. They were I I grew up Uh, very very family oriented

Morals grounded Uh, when I grew up it was god family friends Everyone looks after each other This industry is I'll slice slice your throat. I'll dance In your blood and then videotape it and make money. Yeah. Yeah, and and it's uh Uh

It's traumatizing is the best word to use it and uh, I I went through I went through a lot Through the whole coming up the whole system. I learned so much. I'm glad what I learned You know, sometimes I reflect I talk a lot about uh, you you're talking about things God has so much sound. I don't even know where to start. So yeah, no Thanks for coming in man. It started with the clubs Doing the city clubs and uh, the city in new york city and uh, You know, it was it was uh, I can I knew there was envy and and people were jealous and Like, uh, what am I doing to bother you? What am I doing to bother you?

Right. I'm doing my set and this is bothering you. It's bothering you that they're laughing Yeah, what is going on? So uh, as as time went on at hollywood, I realized It is it was the most vile It's soulless. Yeah Right. There's yeah, you look for this you look to think at some point This thing has to have a heart or some compassion and there's and it never turns that and if anything It's it lures you in and going. No, I'm here for you I'm gonna give you some honesty and compassion and then when you're not looking

It's uh, yeah, it's pretty it's uh, it'll make sushi out of you. It doesn't even I mean, it's it'll make fucking sashimi. Traumatizing is a good word, man Like I have uh, I have a friend who just got in trouble. He was using a they called him that he was using a racial slur and and it's crazy like they uh So our news outlets this was fascinating to me news outlets that never would have even paid attention to him before Or now like put like just using the term racial slur in their headlines, right? So basically they're using his

Mess up, you know, his mistake to just to get their clicks and it's like, yeah, it's just because they're In the way, they're using the word now Like they're using the racial, you know, I'm saying they're then using it and I don't understand what that is or where it comes from But I consider all them bottom feeders. Yeah, they're complete bottom feeders and But there's people there's real humans that are attached to the That are in the tank, you know, and it's during the tank their days are coming. Yeah, I you can't live forever with with with trying to do that to people did you um So was there a point where you kind of felt like okay? I'm gonna take myself out of this some or I'm gonna

Oh, yeah slow this train down like I just remembered just from an outsider's perspective I just remember dang that's Jim Brewer, man. He's one of the funniest guys that there is and he's a star Like I didn't I never noticed that you like separated yourself from Like some of the vibe or the industry or something. Did did you feel like you kind of did that? Oh, I know I did it was first it was the What once You know, I kind of got I won't say shot out of a car. I had a drive. I was confident. I was cocky. So in 89 I decided this is what I'm doing forever, right? And I was the I was doing

Clubs and it was out of florida. Were you doing well then? Yeah, and I had goals. I was like I'm gonna come house emcee to the middle and then went a middle I'm gonna make your life miserable. Yeah trying to follow. That's it was fun And I loved that. Oh being in the middle was fucking good. You get off to 22 minutes. You're a fucking legend crushing it And then they're like we want to flop you not not for the same pay you're not I went through that stage. You're like oh like following the kid. Yeah. Oh, yeah There's always that guy dude. Yeah, and then you meet and then you come across some people that that school you

Yeah, oh, you think I've never seen something like you before Okay, you know what? I'll go up before you ping-pang ping-pang Follow that kid. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, maybe we shouldn't flip flop. Yeah, and then um once TV started Uh, I was actually on a on a an old black show called the Uptown Comedy Club. That was my first big It wasn't huge, but it was that was a weekly show. It was syndicated Uptown Comedy Club Was it so was it sketches and stuff? Yeah, no way when I say was it awesome. You know what it was? It was it was the best

television show I've ever been on my life and why I say that because there were no egos Uh, everyone was everyone was helping each other I've and I thought this was I thought this was the industry and not only that They would they would talk to us like the producers was it was in Harlem. Yeah, it was on 125th and 5th in 89 Uh, no, this is 92 Damn, that must have been that was such a hype time too. There was so much like I'm sure especially in Harlem. There was like just a lot of fun energy in the air. Oh my god

And it was it was it was a tough area. Oh, yeah So it's only a shot. Yeah, that's awesome, dude It was it was Tracey Morgan was on that show and I'll never forget it It taught me about uh, the hood. Yeah, and And a different side of of what you it's just a completely different side of life that I No college could ever teach you there's no politician could teach you when I'll never forget what happened was I heard Pa pa pa pa pa pa, right and Tracey Morgan goes who got shot and I went. Oh, he heard the fireworks He was uh, I wouldn't fire. So we got shot, but he said it

As as calmly yes, and then he went. Oh, he's across the street. Oh, he's struggling And I still thought he was kidding like he's play by play like he's at Michael suddenly Yeah, look at this guy. I can't even get another yard. Yeah, like, oh, he might get another bro. He's down He's on the ground. He's flattened out. Oh, he's trying to get back up. He's up to his oh, he's down again I was the he's out of bounds man when it comes to being alive. This guy's out of Oh, and here comes the hecklers. Look at you now. Look it is nothing worse of being shot You're getting heckled and now the hecklers come while you're struggling for your life For your life. Oh, he leaking. He leaking

And he was leaking hard and I'll never forget the one guy had no teeth. He came up. I swear to god. He goes You smelled it That's like you smell the smoke. It smelled like when I was involved In vietnam you could still smell the smoke Then I went oh my god And I'll never forget just the blood is dripping over the curb And and it's going down the drain Yeah us and and then the paramedics come like, yeah, you know, so two Jews walking a bar

And I got a Greek joke for you, but and it's still look at you now. Yeah, looky I was like what look all right. Let's go back to rehearsing And then a church choir shows up also though for no reason that the air like it's just amazing, dude Yeah, so that to go from that to uh Then the real hollywood came and I'll tell you what I'll let you in I'll lose something But I'm not gonna drop names. Okay, but I'll never forget These are black producers A guy named kevin brown and andre brown

And he was later on 30 rock, but he they would come to us and they would tell us about vanity And losing your mind in hollywood and be careful and they came back from hollywood To try and expand us and they sat us down like you ain't gonna believe what we saw I mean, what was you see and they said we saw so-and-so huge name so-and-so huge name and so-and-so Big name back in the day

Chicken Hawking at a party and I went What? See you're white. I said, what's chicken Hawking? Everyone like He's white. You don't know chicken. I said, what's chicken Hawking? That's when you uh hanging out with boys at a transvestite. I said, what? What? Uh, see now you now you're telling stories now you're telling stories. Yeah But

I never forgot that Three years later this name Huh busted chicken Hawking that one's sick this one being busted. Yeah Huh, they swept that up. That's what I call I to me hollywood's a mafia It's a big dark mafia. Yeah, it is and then what happens is I remember one of them. It was like The mobsters come they're like we understand not mobsters like Italian right right whatever you're talking about. Yeah, the attorneys Yeah, right and they come along like listen you sign this you do some movies there

We'll put the soul on the table. We got enough money make this go away Ping it's gone. No one ever brings it up. No one ever brings it up with this person And there's two or three of them huge Huge but I guess what I'm saying is by the time I started doing sound it live and I have baked blah blah And and tv thing, you know tim allen all this shit it was That's when I really saw how dark

And so it's just it was It's I get creeped out. I get scared to death It was soulless. Yeah, never seen anything it and I still every time I get out there. I feel like I just I don't feel life Out there. Yeah, I feel it at all You know what? I know I've always said when I get off the plane there. I feel like I'm in the office. It always like I just feel like I'm in an office constantly

It always every light feels like a fluorescent light. It feels like it never ends But it's hard to find it is it's hard to find a comfort out there But there's always this dangle Of a carrot. Yeah, and it's a carrot and I don't even know what it is because like It's vanity. It's vanity. It's vanity. Is it? You know you want this, right? You know you want this You're better than so-and-so. You know you're better than so-and-so You get this then it'll be worth this. Yeah, and then you're and then your road will be worth this

You want to be you think that person deserves to be in arenas or on billboards? You should be on take you want it It's there's a little bad. No, I believe that I'm that's what we're so as you're saying it I'm thinking that I'm thinking I'm trying to feel like you know a lot of times things will land for me in my Feelings like is it vanity is it? It's bad. Yeah, it's something of ego. It's ego and vanity. Yeah, it's ego It's vanity. I want to be better than them Yeah, it's uh, yeah, it's uh, it's not easy No, it's not easy. Well, and I I think also You start to see the others like you start to see the other side of it too where it just

There's never like an understanding you never get to talk to the person to have the conversation about what's It's just there's never any real instructions. It's all kind of vague The business is vague the money is it's all it's all vague and there's all extra people always stacked in at the last minute You've never met right and they are they're living and they own your family now. They're just crazy your grandfather's now their grandfather It's a non-stop Scarface movie. Yeah, you got it. You got the money got there. Oh 70 you What just happened we thank you What's going on they're cutting you they're putting you in a commercial for bone sauce as they're cutting you in half You know put this dress on and then take out your ticker pants off and this is gonna get you big time

Got it sick man. Here's a question right here. They came in from someone. This isn't live Jim This is just a man that sent this right here. Sure. What up Jim huge fan man Man ever since half baked man Anyways, I've been a comedian for about five years. What do you think the future is for us here with covid going on? By the way, man, why your eyes always look so high gang gang um Future question what is kind of we have do you think some of the future on things slowed down during covid for sure? I mean a lot of stages are still open

It's one of the reasons why I ended up coming here because stages are open and because it's a free state here, you know, but um But yeah, it's what do you think man? Where do you see kind of Comedy going like do you see anything different? Does this stage still hold the same? Like this is the last point of uh, I'll tell you what after doing last night in uh, um Zany's last night I felt like I was in a 2000 seat theater. Wow the electricity of of people

Was explosive and there was a there was a um a woman a little older on my right chatter and and I don't want a mustache. No. No, she's she's eating her chips and everyone's like And I turned on what are you okay? Yeah, you know having fun and she went I'm just enjoying being out I'm just having my chips and I'm just so happy. I don't have a mask on I'll start paying attention a minute And I started I laughed so hard and what I feel you to crouch here There's a um Live is never gonna die

Even if we have to go back to the 20s and do it in people's houses, you're not gonna stop that Right, that's the will of humanity You can't stop us from being social as though they're doing their darndest. Yeah, whoever they are But they're doing a they're doing everything they can to scare the living life out of you To to try to convince you that you are capable of murdering your grandmother and feeling guilty about About hugging people and being with one another to me. That's That's the cult. Oh, you know, they point fit. That's the real cult the ones that are going

You know, are you ready to live your life knowing you killed your grandmother? You're the cult. You're the problem. That stems from pure Dark. There's nothing good about that. We're only here one time. We need to hug We need to see smiles. We need to touch. That's humanity. You take that away It's over. Yeah, if you take that away, what's the point? I'm just here I'm just a you know, I'm a piece of a video game that can't even really play You know, that's what they want and people fall for it. A whole client say they would watch the news like this Like a parakeet

The numbers are going up the numbers are going up The numbers are going up where you ask where you ask where you ask Where you ask Grandma killer grandma killer grandma killer Oh my god, get back in your cage. Yeah, please. Oh, I don't know what you know people always ask them I don't know where we're going because every time I think I know where we're going Uh Then boom

The tiktok verdi person takes off and then the instagram person takes off and a podcast takes off No one knows what what people want to or Or comedy is wide open. Everyone needs to laugh and there's and and there's Every extreme Type of comedy. So yeah, it's never gonna die. You need to laugh but back to that guy's question I don't know where it's going. I don't know. I don't know. I have no clue. I'm not worried about it I can only do what I can

Control right 53 Uh, you know, I still need someone to help me with I need this guy. I just found this guy That's son. Yeah, I just found my Sean. I'm like you need to edit. Yeah I started podcast. I'm looking at my podcast a new podcast Yeah, I've been doing it, but then I stopped because I don't I have to call the guy Right. Yeah, you got to get around the system the person would and he caused the girl Yeah, I'm like wait with the cables. Yes. I just I think I could post in two weeks. I need Sean Yeah, who goes okay first of all the lights like I was watching what I filmed Wednesday

And there's a shadow over my face every two seconds like I gotta I gotta look somewhat professional I get it. My microphone still look anything like this. I can look like a bebop that fucking ham radio style Yeah, so I I need I just found a Sean. I have to tighten up But you have to you have to just people would love it man. Your voice needs to be out there I think you know people would absolutely love it. Uh, it's there's there's neat guys starting when Dana Carvey started one He's a good human being. Oh Dana Carvey is this exceptional man. He's a good human being. He's such a sweet, uh, dad And he's a loving guy and he's very

He's realistic. He's like respectful of everyone but also realistic and so smart Yep, that you just have to listen to him when he talks kind of um, and he can drift from a story into like a Into funny like from so real and funny like and like like a stream almost you don't even notice it flowing You know like the guy's blood to the fucking drain, you know, yeah, yeah Yeah, and he's a he's like you say he's a real human being. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm always rooting for Dana Carvey Yeah, I'm always checking like what's going on with Dana Carvey Yeah, he's a neat guy and he got a he took off a show business for a while and went and just lived his life and raised his kids in

uh, San Francisco Yeah, I Did you guys work together? I don't even remember. I don't know a ton of he hosted he hosted when I was on san it live Okay, he couldn't have been nicer Couldn't have been more giving couldn't have been uh, he was he was like the big brother That came he was the frat brother that came so let me tell you about the frat house here Right. Oh nice. Let me tell you about the ways and yeah, so he was He's always charmed. He was charming and you remember those things. You remember when you crossed people's paths what they were

um That's a good point, but I do I do uh, it was right after A guy like him who was at the end of snl half baked Came out And I was just done with the whole industry really I was I was done Were you burnt out also though physically and stuff? Do you think from I mean, were you just exhausted emotionally? Yeah emotion emotional It was it was It was so exhausting

San it live was It it was As much as as the times when you're up to bat and you hit the ball in the upper deck to just to get to the plate Is so exhausting. Yeah, this one takes your idea Right, this one takes party idea and does it but you can't say no because he's the one that's in the room with Lauren picking the sketches Yeah, and then you finally step up to this person and now you're a problem and you're like what the it was it was and my wife

My wife There's times when I really wanted to knock her flat on her back. Oh, yeah, she don't get it You don't get it. Yeah, and she'd be like, no, you don't get it You don't get it. I can see what you don't see and so I remember She was looking at me in New York City and she goes, you know Why you just quit? What are you? Are you? Are you listening to yourself? You don't quit you grind through dopey

Are you seriously out of your mind? You just nubs in a wheelchair. Don't you even? Yeah, she's like you're smoking. What's her name? What's her first name? D. Yeah, D. Don't you even fucking know D? You don't know shit. You don't quit showbiz. I'm on top of the kid. You see his tattoo. You see his tattoo It says SNL alum Daniac Roy blue shit. It's a loam carvey farley. I'm in it I'm in the club and you can't take those stripes up. I'm in it. Yeah millions of people trying to get me. I'm in it Yeah, there's people buying my doll. Yeah People doing that in aisles right now

So she's going dead guys man a lot of dead guys die like that You have a guy i'm a detective just saying yay. We got another uh, we got another um, uh, jim brew impersonator over here guys Come see it. Yeah, look at this mook over here. He's dropping a douche and then that was it shows over Stunk like a summer gun trying to keep the flies out was the tough part Here's a question from a guy right here that can't wait. Well, let's finish up So D got you out, but having her perspective helped. Is that what you're saying or no? It was scary as hell But her perspective has always helped on many things that have happened in my life Many things that have happened, but she's like look at you

You smoke and pot non-stop You're becoming a an angry person Uh, and it's just It's consuming your life and you don't you always this one's you talking about stealing, but she's like I sort my own two eyes Why do you need so bad? You're talented like, you know You don't you don't you just don't yeah, and We did and I remember The matter who we had

We had producers movie producers she didn't kiss me. I don't like that guy's an asshole. He He made this movie in this movie. He's an he made bridges in Madison County. Yeah, he's he's an asshole And and and this guy made babe pig in the city Right It has been reported that americans are overpaying on car insurance by over 21 billion dollars silly americans But searching for a better deal can take too long you got to get on the internet You got to keep this window open do this when call this person you got to call 40 people And next thing you know, you don't use somebody stole your car

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Support the podcast visit blue chew dot com and get your first order free when you use promo code thio. That's right Get that weaner on daddy. You feel me. Just pay five dollar shipping. That's b l u e c h e w dot com promo code th oh What's this guy up to? Yeah, what is this fucking homeowner and we started a family What look at this guy so that's the end of this right and we started a family and we started Now i'm three kids deep and pregnant. That's how it is and pregnant. That's right. That's what happened It is we were done with it with the s and l went the same fan

Let's do this Kid came out all his head was all stretched. It was a mess Hey, man, how you doing? Jim want to give a shout out to first off momentum high school and just have these pizzeria Uh, chest in new jersey. I know I know you're familiar with that area Uh, talking and speaking of new jersey wanted to ask you as a question um Give me some underrated new jersey stand-up comics starting there's so much talent in our state

Uh, and I know you got a good pulse on that so give me give me three names that maybe we don't know about that I should be following Is the stage is open there? Yes, no, um That's a fair answer. Yes, I know Uh, yes, the answer is yes because I was doing um, like Tuesday nights at the stress factory Oh, yeah, but he has the set up outside which is

bigger than the inside And they were uh, he really did it smart. He did he tinted the whole thing in Heat. I mean it was in December. It was freezing But the only mishap is Behind you is the parking garage So, you know, you're 15 minutes in and there's a And then a stousel abuse, don't forget Yeah, you stoop and shock your face. What were you looking at him for?

I wasn't looking at him, I'm dead and you get out of the car, you and So Uh Yes, but then I just played Uh What's the place it's it's it's in red bank. I played there The vulgar the outdoor place. Was it indoor? It was indoor. Uh, yeah, the red bank. It's like a theater. It's called the vulgar There is there is the count Basie. Yeah count Basie. That's what I played at but they can't do count Basie

So now they have the vulgar which was only it it was a beautiful theater within the count Basie Oh, nice. And so but it was you know, it's like 200 people and they have to wear masks No The first show I did where they have to wear a mask It was awkward. Was it? Yeah, it was weird. You could tell they were annoyed And they can't even and what if they want to do? I guess they got no snacks, huh? No snacks They had snacks, but they're literally like make sure just go like that Yeah, because the governor lives in the town and he comes in I understand you're not

Keeping up with the rules and regulations This is for your safety You don't want to kill your grandmother, do you? Yeah I see we are at 27 percent. There will be a rest maid It's crazy man. Yeah, I just don't understand in most people's minds because it's crazy some of the smartest people I know So go along with everything that's going on here so easily. It's like how do you not see? So what the numbers on some on some news channel that their only goal is keep you watching But if you drive by the hospital or if you look by I you can go to a clinic walking clinic here

There's nobody like how does it not weigh to people that to at least alert in their heads? Something is not right here I I think more people know Something's not right. I think also They're doing a real good job with the eye candy fear and I'm wondering if it's gonna break

Like when you're on the highway and everyone's afraid to pass the state trooper. Oh, yeah, even though he's going 60 You're like, well, I can't get pulled over again 65. Yeah, and then the one finally does rock. Let's fall this guy Yeah, I saw this way like then as soon as you enough you You got I kind of feel the minute if it ever happens and it has to happen. Yeah, where People go we're not shutting down But you need a couple people to do. Yeah, you find me. So what you can't nothing these things are laws Right, right. If you ever end up going to a court, you're gonna you're gonna somehow win but you win. Yeah It's scared to we find you. So what we're gonna revoke you. Go ahead. Yeah, you can't you don't have

You can't make the law. So, you know, we could talk about it. So all we want but no one's doing anything Right and that that's the scary part, but it is bizarre to me How many people will watch this and then no and then they'll come after me foaming at the mouth going, you know And they're things always the same people like you're lying. Yeah, I tell you people died And I feel like going no, do you know how many people that you believe died because of what you're watching? Right You know, I was on a podcast here like I couldn't even find a dead person I bet you if you gave me two hours right now, I couldn't find a dead person from covid If I went door to door, I'm talking banging even breaking and entering doing anything coming in the back door

Smoking people out doing a fire in the back standing by the front with a net or uh, I bet I couldn't I'm serious, bro. I bet I couldn't find One fucking dead person. I haven't found one. I have I have a couple. First of all, I had it Uh, my daughter had it. My wife had it Um, another good friend his whole family had it It for us. It was a bit. It was a cold. Right. It was a bad cold. Um, oh, yeah, I agree. I believe there's a flu I believe there's a special variant of a flu going. There's always a flu in the winter. Yeah There's flu. There's colds bronchitis. It's all gone. It's funny how all that stuff is gone. Yeah

It's just gone Where's the and people will hear this and be like, no, it's not me But it is though if you think about all the time you heard about it Like you just have to trust the logic on my head. I don't even think I'm coming from a place of judgment I think I'm just coming from a real place inside of me that feels like this doesn't make sense It makes zero sense. Yeah, that's common sense and that's and what they're pushing is the whole It's science. Science doesn't have common sense, but you can manipulate numbers. You can manipulate science to to scare tactic That's the difference. So you can put science as your religion and as your fact or whatever it still

doesn't define logic, yeah And I'd rather die by some logic man like my mom's My mother's a hard work and been working all life. She's like if I die, I die, you know, like I don't want to be I don't want to never see anybody the last four years of my life. Listen This is a good story, but I always bring this up. I don't want to bum people out. It's not like what but my wife 2012 Uh, first time she had breast cancer, right? Boom. Breast come off of a lot. She's gonna go on that. Wow breast off, huh?

Oh, yeah, that is sort of a whole shebiggle 2014 it comes back in a lymph node. It's got to take it out. Do the chemo and all that jazz Um, we are now to the 2016 end of the year Hey Bad news. It's everywhere. Oh, it's everywhere but her brain What do we do? Oh, she's got a couple months. We'll give her pain Medicine or she can live on a trial

So she's been on a trial drug in philadelphia. It'll be it'll just pass four years Thank you god now The point of that story is we've already been living The life of common sense And she too. Oh the family and everyone else are the ones that go, you know, I gotta be very careful And and you know your immune system and jim shouldn't travel as much. She's like, you know what? Yeah, I know knows when we're gonna die. Yeah, I'm not gonna live recklessly But you're not gonna control my life and how I should live and the way I should live because you are scared

And my wife and I live it's interesting the way we live and and we when we would go somewhere if I saw someone sick I'd go. Hey man, don't go over there because that guy's sick I'm not gonna ask the whole place to wear a mask And and double down because my what that's my responsibility. Right. That's my thing That's part of the you know, if you if you're 400 pounds and you got you get the gout three times a year And you have diabetes back you gotta be careful with everything but back off the sugar shrimp for sure Exactly, whatever you're doing

You gotta take it down a level bronchitis is gonna take you out. Yeah a hard staircase is gonna take you out Yeah, so this whole mentality Is pure insanity And it makes no sense. And you know what? I don't care about people's backlash anymore. Yeah, I know it's right I know it's in my heart of heart. I know what common said god gave us Common sense. Yeah thought process Instinct your instinct tells you something weird is going on. Yeah common sense tells you something weird is going on Yeah, nobody you can't so yeah, you're right on it man. You gotta live your life

Yeah, I want to live my life not like an idiot, but you live your life Yeah, yeah, I want and I want to like that's what I want. It's like I think that's the thing and like You know a lot of people have also the the side effects of people dying Are struggling from like um being hurt from like addiction or not seeing their loved ones broken hearted The gay that they had a fellow beautiful fellow gay gentleman that was a piano player at the comedy store And he died because a lot of people think he died just because he got so lonesome, you know And it's that's guesstimated, but the guy for 25 years had been a pianist right there for the best, you know My youngest daughter has has put on weight

She's depressed She hates school. She's the love it Because she's got to wear a mask and won't let him stay together She she she said being in a cubicle cubicle her friends It's it's the worst thing you could be doing a humanity and Anyone that wants to fiercely defend it I'm ready to go at it with you. Yeah, I don't have to tell you You're not going to control me and the billions of people that feel the same way

It's over and there's a lot of people that yeah, there's a lot of people that feel the same way And we just have to start speaking up in small ways and also I think just speaking up in our actions, you know Like be respectful And but also just speak up in our actions like that doesn't mean go out and do something bad or something aggressive It just means stand your ground for what you believe also stand your ground Be fearless. Yeah fearless and I you know, I was on a podcast where I don't know um Who was it chris de stephanem who was fit Simmons? Oh, greg fit Simmons fits dog. He's he's uh, I'm known a while

But he's he toes a line. He's he's he's in it. Yeah He's in the la world and he keeps going back and I just kept going king hitting the ball right Don't give me that nonsense, bro. And he's a good guy and we can hang forever, but He tried a little bit like no no. He's a guy. Do you believe this like? Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, see them own eyes You know, there's a guy We have this crew where I live Uh, we it's an amazing community that we built and this is who I'm gonna start bringing on my podcast because they're

I I don't mind being funny, but I also my big Struggle Theo is uh You could say it. I've struggled with pornography mostly I don't struggle with that. Oh, you don't no. No. No. No. I probably did when I was younger I think everybody does it's a racket, but I'll tell you why that's bad too. Oh, it's bad. It's horrible I'll tell you why that's that's real bad. That is another oversaturated well targeted um And it's it's

I always I always say this you remember the first time you saw it. Oh, yeah Everyone was drawing just do nick in our town two dollars. He would draw you some cooter for the weekend, right? So you'd hit them up on friday or thursday night if you wanted a good sketch, right? But even on friday afternoon, you could get a scribble. I remember this and he would freaking law You know, he'd launch you out that two dollar hit bruh and you'd keep it all weekend And then somebody chiseled a set of tits into like a birch tree and people would go out there and jerk off by it Kids and adults bro. Not at the same time, but you know, you had to be respectful But you know, everybody was out. I remember that it was a good time for me. It was it was

Phil's dad's tape. Oh, Phil. Come on. And we were let's call Phil And Phil dad get his fucking 80 year old dad on the line and talk about the lives he's ruined Phil's dad's tapes He I was I don't care where anyone says when you first see you're traumatized. It's crazy You look at the whole world differently. You look at women differently Yeah, you you go from staring at them to staring at them. Yeah, and you think that's why And if you notice it's got more violent More evil as time went you know like this whole thing. Oh, yeah

Who came up with if it can't even do that Smack smack. Who who said I love you so much smack smack. I love you You so God, I love you. Yeah, that is legal rape A lot of Heimlich went over this all there's all types of like, you know, let me wait Well, I gotta punch in your temple right before your orgasm. Let me know when you let me pink You said you were orgasm. You said you were going there Come on. We gotta do this again

Are you sure this time good You're crazy It's legal Rape and I yeah, it's crazy that that in like that. It's just it's freaking bizarre man It's the dark arts dude I was addicted to it for a while and I do pretty good these days, you know But every now and then it seeps in man, you know, it's hard to keep it out I will not

See now when I once I had daughters That's another whole. Oh, it'd be different. I have three girls. So it in my head. I'm always like Oh god If I do this is it gonna come back around? Yeah, I'm one of those guys if I do this that's wiener karma dog So it is but you're right and I've got like someone's gonna come in and and my Kid's gonna be into this and it all sparked but that's how I I I think like that's that energy flow yet Because it could be possible. Here's a guy right here. He used to be a mime who fucking is recovering

He's a recovering mind. Look at that question. Yeah, beautiful fellow like before we even do it. I'm gonna predict. Okay It's definitely in the hate half-baked world I could see that maybe why what makes you say that his eyes he looks a little lit up Oh, he does look a little bit up under little it up. But pink But I don't know he's very confident with the shirt and hat Uh, he looks like his name would be sam. He seemed like he has a very like a name. It's kind of ambiguous maybe I'm I'm gonna say it's more of the uh midwestern

Like midwestern name like a trevor. Okay. Yeah, a trevor. I can see trevor trance. We had a guy bus Trant. I like that. Yeah, like a trant. Yeah, we had a guy bus named brunch growing up Yeah, my varsity. Yeah, so vars Let's see what he's got What up, Theo? What up, Jim Brewer? My name is Danny. I'm from Clearwater, Florida Um, Jim, I got a question for you, man So I actually went to coconuts comedy club and did a comedy set there on open mic And I heard that that's where you started out doing comedy

So I just got a question for you, man How is it getting started in comedy and what do you recommend to be able to go with the time limit because the first time I did comedy I swear to god I lasted 30 seconds and then I said I can't do this and I walked off stage The second time I did comedy I went 30 seconds over the five limit open mic time limit So, uh, yeah words and advice would be appreciated much love gang gang, Theo gang, bro Well, if you're Carlos Minci and now if you went that long, dude, you're basically your your Dave Chappelle You've done it, bro. You saw if you went that long the second time you're doing fine. Yeah, yeah 100 100%

And yes, I used to do coconuts. That's kind of The first chain that started giving me lots of work and yeah, a lot of them were Ramadas Yeah, Ramada, dude at the happy hour. It doesn't matter. I just I wanted to work So and I was way off with that kid the kid has a good soul. Oh, yeah, nice kid They they used to have you know, people have been murdered at every Ramada at every Ramada There's a uh, there's been a murder at every Ramada. Really now. Yeah, finally it took Finally You know, I was waiting for the hundred percent here. They were at 99 for a real long time

We were having like when is Biloxi? It's right next to a Greyhound station. I thought it would go first. Come on But yeah, man, pretty cool. There's a website that tracked it. There was like one of those like uh This is like probably four years ago that there was the website finally closed down But there was like murders at I guess every Ramada You married uh, I'm not married explains ours I'm willing I get and the reason why it says like wow if I had I because I couldn't imagine Looking stuff like that up, but if I was alone and single

I'd be looking up some wild stuff just dropping facts that people weren't even prepared for me to slap down Are you ready for this? Ping. Yeah. Yeah, you know tarantulas have heavy feet I'm like just fucking hitting them hard. Um, I uh When you look back on some of those times, do you feel good about them? Like when you look back on your your Hollywood times, I feel great about everything I did Yeah, because I I do I love the journey I've been on. I love that The move I made and I I did have resentment for a while

with a lot of things Uh, I had animosity and anger What was the anger about you feel like yeah, like is it's Anger so hard to pinpoint sometimes and a lot of times it has to do with myself, you know, I find um Because I can be angry at others, but they're just doing their thing. They don't fuck it, you know, they're just you know This was a different anger. I'm I'm really I'm one of those guys too where I get angry For Injustice. Oh, yeah

So that Infuriates me that makes me want to that makes me want to fight. Yeah. Um, and yeah, I want things to be fair Just be fair and not for me. There's there was something That was taken from me And and sold Oh, I see like a project or something you had. Yep, right on And given to someone and I don't think that person even knows And it blew up so big. Wow

So when I'm home With my little babies and and trying to I wanted to stay home Um, so I took a radio gig And I'm watching That that was a tough period and that's where that's where I See now, I do have like a deep moral godly Thing and and I'm not afraid to talk about anymore. So at that time my wife, I'll never forget

She's like Jim as I was in my basement. Look, I was like right there. I met him And I told him and then he's he gave me sold it to them. I'm turkey and she's like jimmy I got 20 million dollars Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna put this out there and go and I'm coming Thief lawyer Lawsuit I was ready

He turned into Henry Rollins at the very end the first all that I believed until the very end I feel like he turned into like Henry Rollins in black flag, you know, yes I feel like you. Yes, and she goes. I'll never forget you like jim Let him have it. I said, all right. Seriously. Is there something wrong with you? There's something wrong with you. There's something wrong. You don't get so he's that's all they got They don't have what you got. I got she's like you got a beautiful house We got a couple acres You said you want to be home with your girl. You're home with your girls. Yeah

You you go to a radio show for two hours a day with your best friends That's fun. What? Yeah, but God just don't let him have it. If that's all they got It'll catch up to him cut to Five years later this one crash burn People turn on him this one plummets plummets

Beyond hard to the point. I started feeling bad like oh man. Yeah, it's terrible to have the and and The amazing part of it is And I don't want to I don't want to lose to names or anything Yeah, no, and I'm not asking you to but what is amazing for people what it can help is years later See, I got to hold my dad To his last breath, which is all I ever begged light as a god please all I wanted life is I don't want that man alone I want to be I want to be there for him

world too bad grew up in in Newport in in, uh, uh Dayton, Kentucky Kentucky just not even the real Dayton. No Cross the river from it's just 10 kids no mother I mean As raw as you can get I didn't realize my dad had that in until we saw Johnny Cash For the first time all them together. No. Yeah, I was like 10 years old long island

um Westbury music fair and he came out did the whole Hello, I'm just bang bang bang bang bang and he goes Yee-haw we live in Long Island. Yeah, what is he goes? I was born in Kentucky. I don't know I'm a Kentucky guy. Heck Williams senior not junior Junior can be the senior juniors And then I started so the point of the story is I'm all over the place, but

He never complained in life. This man could have complained about everything war for years Uh, his his first so he was alcohol just the things he said never complained always there for me couldn't he was older So he couldn't really interact much, but he was always there solid never talk I think I remember four conversations with my dad, but they were powerful. They were powerful He was just stepping like you you talking about when you started playing with your donkey in the pictures When I went through that phase, he saw the pictures and they're like, hey, hey What are you doing? They don't let your mother see that's really disturbing. Yeah enough with that. Yeah enough of that shit

Enough of that shit We're gonna play you die. It's gonna get you in trouble. Okay, dad So he was really old He he was he was uh 45 when he had me my mom was 42. I was in accident. My mom had My mom 42 to have a kid's older back then right back then So my mom would tell me she should have like three martinis like you know He was supposed to be an abortion Because they said you'd be retarded

That's just you're saying you're like I got pretty close mom. I said well look at me Yeah I look at at least I tried I try to try my best Well, they said I beat down syndrome in our town, man Because they thought I had it for like the first year and a half of my no kidding And then they literally told my parents that I beat it dude And so that was like it was like this kind of thing in our area pretty crazy and so

To be able to go through that in life And still have what I have now I get torn I want and my kids we found an amazing I've been all over the world my kids all over the I mean african safaris really doing fun stuff, huh? Oh, yeah Bands, I love metallica acdc Oh, that's I mean It's like a living dream and so Watching these other people crash It was a couple years ago

I went to la to promote something And we already discussed how I feel about it and I found this little neighborhood place crust street was a i-hop I don't know in the name of place really cool little hotel And I went out to eat and it was a little place on up the street. It was almost like Mexican and pizza And I was just sitting there and this guy came up to me one of the people And I go uh, hey and he goes hey, man

I just want to tell you I I really respect what you did with your dad and you made this documentary and I just uh, I just I respect what you do And all I saw was that that was like grace and healing because If this person knew how I felt Years before About this person and the other person involved And now here they are coming back. I see where they're going and where my life is and it's

They're hard to get through but you don't know the long term when you stick to your thing It's you just don't know when you're chasing It's amazing you need that balance Um, yeah, yeah, that makes sense 100 percent It's hard to know like what the moment right now that it is part of a bigger painting, you know It's so hard to know. It's impossible. And of course the way that we're built now with Instantaneosity and doing stuff right now and this and that and jack and jill and jack, you know doing whatever you want You could jerk off out of your pocket, you know

You know what I'm saying? Yes, you could get somebody to bring them out and do where you could you know You could kill some there's like white websites. You can get people killed. You can do it all in a second. Yes There's there's so much like I control everything that there's never any like I'm gonna let the higher powers and the powers that be control things. I'm gonna live in the plan, you know I'll tell you what and and the more feel the more I've done that in the last Five ten years where I go, you know what and this is this is where things really shifted for me around 2008 2009 And I started changing my stand-up. I started changing my outlook. I always feared That people would see me as like, uh, we like all moral and stuff and it's like I feared that

Why don't why did I fear that? What's wrong with being that? Yeah, we're trying to be also. It's a goal It's a it's just a it's not even a goal. It's just an attempt Yeah, and it's a it's a it's a way of living. Yeah, what's wrong with just giving goodness, you know, so The more the minute I tapped into that and the more I said, you know what like now I'm going out and touring Yes, I want to make money blah blah blah, but the end I get I get so much more out of I know this sounds corny touching lives it is

I've done it a lot and and I the more I go I'm gonna do this Because I want to you know, it's and I think a lot has to do with my wife my wife She goes so she's she's found Jesus years ago and that was another whole right Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here? Yeah, like it was boom. It was a powerful story but Just I didn't see it coming Well, it's also when so when people and that that experience for people is their own experience finding a higher power Finding a faith that kind of thing it's there

So even if you're like it's such a personal experience that yeah It's hard to really kind of share with somebody in a lot of ways and for them to kind of um, and you're instantly judged Oh, yeah. Oh, especially these days, dude. Yeah, you're a freak or you know, you think you're like, all right She's nothing like that. Yeah, you know, she'll do things like this. She'll go I get on the metallica I'm on I'm touring with metallica. Yeah for me. That was a legend. Yeah, this is the greatest This is the greatest this better than he said come. Yeah, I don't want to be in the movies. I'm touring When my metallica guy you kidding me? Yeah, so Um, and you guys are out there, right? Who's the other opening man and also there is none. Fuck. I'm the opener

That's crazy And I had but before you worked in Metallica had you worked with a band and it didn't work because it you know It never works for anyone Uh No I I did a little something in front of Alice and chainz ones because it made me go up less. They were like come on Down in a hole, but before we get to that They were so good. Um, was that perry ferrell? No, who was in that? No, no, no, that's jane's addiction

Yeah, yeah, it is a one-year-old birthday party at perry ferrell's house, dude A friend of mine leet like they knew the family or whatever so we went over there for his one-year-old party and uh Me and perry were like and sit in the library just and literally I could not understand one word that he said He was describing different books to me on this shelf No idea what was going on. Is that that's uh, jane's addiction to it. It's uh, they came on san it live And I'll never forget this. I was so hopped up So they did the first song And they were they were damaged

damaged So in between they're like I'll never forget. I'm hanging out and they go he goes perry goes, hey, uh, could we do that song over? And uh, the producer goes it was live Matter of fact, your second song is cut. They're the first band I got their second song cut Cut

They just because they were so ripped Wait, I had now I have to go look at it. Watch it the first time they were in san it live It's probably between 95 and 98 and they did this Look it up son bang bang bang bet and when they were finished I just remember going I didn't do that again. They went no you're done. You're done for the night. You're out shows over That was live. Let's do this guy. We'll come on back. We're all right. Let's see what this guy's doing right here This is jimmy john right here jimmy john was on here. Uh, john loud tout. He's from, uh, illinois I love how you do this. The guy who started jimmy john's. Um, this is really cool. Wait, what?

This guy started jimmy john's. No, the guy who started jimmy john's was on here. This guy resembles him very much. Oh, okay. Okay. All right What's up theo the legend jim brewer? What's going on? This is matt in south florida Jim I've admired you for god knows how long You have shared so much of your life throughout your career Especially the stories on the stern show you left no stone unturned in terms of your transparency But anybody who knows you knows that You're probably one of the more admirable people in this world. Uh, the care that you gave your father even When he was going through those difficult times was uh, definitely remarkable to see

What's one piece of advice you would give to somebody who? um Does have a special relationship with their father or parent in general and maybe He fears those later years in life. Um, you know knowing that they want to care for them, but knowing what's coming next Um, hopefully we can all meet it as gracefully as you did Um, and obviously, uh, have a special relationship like you did so thanks for listening gang gang bro Where we where when is this air? It could probably go to marvel we could do it whenever okay, it doesn't matter so

So I won't say the hotel mat. Okay, so the hotel mat this just happened last night I cut my I have a cut here and my nail is is slit to here So I called downstairs Or do you have a nail clipper and they're like no darling? We ain't got one and Walgreens is closed Um, let me look far like a scissor and cut. I said, I gotta cut you guys. Oh, darth. Just come down here Let's take a look. This is the front desk. I was why I love the south. Yeah, so come down there And she's like you need a pinky condom till tomorrow and you go get you but there was another guy And I don't know if he was a janitor or whatever because he didn't look like he was checking people. He probably loitering, but yeah

He's always there. He's always there. He's behind the he gets it. He's worked his way behind the front desk person Oh, whoever that is but a z-roxxer. Yeah, he's already worked his way The guy in there who just hears the bell. Yeah, right So he he comes and he goes uh, jim same thing goes man I love I watch that stuff you do with your dad and goes. I'm going through this right now Wow, and the best advice I tell people is The hardest thing we go through in life is watching our parents struggle because they're your rocks They're your idols. They're your source of of power. They're your

They're invincible and His father was only 66 years old, which is still young and he said he got in a terrible accident smashed his head It wasn't his fault. He was sitting. He was horseback riding He was uh in a horseback race now. He he was sitting. I still don't get it. He was in a civil war We enact a new one He was part of a vote

Oh, man, I said not that rifle. That's the real one cheddar Damn, what's wrong with you? Sorry, bill. You're right. He's bleeding bad. He's bleeding bad, uh, he's bleeding bad dad It's always i'm gonna go out on them and say 80 percent of people in cwrs or father sons, baby Yeah, you're right. So he goes um And I still there was part of me want to ask this question because I I still kind of what I heard was his father was sitting down And someone was undoing the hitch On the car or the truck and the hitch Smash his head and I couldn't visualize and I wasn't gonna deal like well, all right

So what happened? He goes he was so he's damaged and he still can't remember. He's he's done. He can't walk like whoa Your dad's a fried egg So he goes and and he slowly started I said, you know what the worst part is when you start Oh, he goes, you know, he's kind of pissing all over and I went Is he I go, you know what the toughest thing for me was the dry heaves my father dropped a deuce and I'm like A huge dry heat my neck wouldn't hurt from Is it because it's also your father's excrement you think?

I mean hard from And you know, but what I realized was the minute They can't drive I try to explain to this guy went listen the best thing you could do Taking care of anyone is you have to remove all selfishness This is really getting in my way. I ain't got time for this. I'm really big. This is not a good timing in my life

This is not bubba, but because that's what happens. It's really hard to put that aside Well, my sister should do it. I'll do it. Maybe we can hire someone to do it They are they reach a point you got to understand The last thing you want life is now I can't drive Now I can't go to the bathroom myself and they don't want to let you know I mean before this happened you said your father was driving around damn well now he's got a Can you go get me? Do you mind just going to get a couple things from the grocery store?

Uh He's feeling that a depression. He knows he's gonna die Um, so you got to put you something my father I'll never forget Uh, I was coming home from I I could my next book is gonna be the top 10 cities and my father crapped himself in public I love that public I had great stories, but I found the humor in it. You got to laugh at it And one of the last ones was he we were uh, just got off the plane He looked at me. He's like, I gotta go and the mini city go which meant he went

So it was one of the tiny planes to get them off and dry heaving. I get them into uh, the the united President's club. Right. I said, I got I need I need to get in here, bro. Yeah, I need something. We can't do this And yeah, this ain't gonna happen. We can't do this in coach. It ain't gonna happen. So we get in there I'm dry heaving and I had an extra pair of sweatpants. I just remember him looking at me. Duff feed it He said, you're never gonna bring me around again. Are you? You we're we're never gonna travel anymore And I it hit me so hard I just went

No, we're gonna travel. It's not gonna feed you until we get to where we're going I can't feed you. I can't have anything in your system. I'm gonna starve you hard So the I guess I laugh Yeah, he he laughed, but he he wasn't a laugh or he'd just go like this. Hmm Hmm, that was him laughing. Yeah, that was me crushing with my dad. Yeah, but uh The best thing is put your life into there. You don't know what they're where they're at mentally So all you gotta do is constantly cheer. I just get my my dad once he couldn't drive gave up a life wouldn't shower

wouldn't wouldn't shave So I'd have to turn on some Hank Williams and Johnny Cash and I'd make it a whole I didn't know what a barbershop was so I'd set up like a barbershop and it's bad to him in it And I'd be sitting driving him nuts busting his balls. Oh, I caught you Oh my god, dad, this is bad. I I just I just fuck on him like really bad But we needed that we needed that scrub his ass Yeah, here. I'm like dad. You think I like scrubbing your ass like ew. You're gonna shit way up in there We don't be in the shower together. No god. No

Not could I couldn't do that. Now. I've stepped in with them. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about bro team work I like it Because when they get older they can't wipe their ass. Oh, yeah, it's hard now It's exactly so it's sit. I'm at that age too. I'm like, why I gotta wipe my ass again And I go around back a lot of times. I go. I was you do. Yeah. Wow. I just started doing that. What do you mean? Yeah, I went uh, hold the nuts up frontward for a long time. Oh damn you come this way Wow, I never went that way in my life. Really? Oh, it's I don't want I'm a no No, well, you just stop before your nuts. Oh, that's crazy

Out that way as much as possible, but that's such a six-year-old move still do It I feel like and I have a big butt so to go around my butt is tougher And I've short arms big butt. Wait a minute. So you coming up. What if you I go front? Yeah No, you don't miss. I mean you're it's really you kind of scoot up on the bowl. I think it's oh, it's really practical to me Honestly, look, you know, we recently got the website done And the fella that did it fella. I grew up with named timmy beautiful guy Beautiful slender fell about six foot six one probably six one maybe six one and a half But anyway, he has a company called modify and they do web cidery. They're good people over there

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That's b a b b el Dot com code theo For an extra three months Free babel b a b b el dot com code theo Babel language for life learn the language you want to learn man. It's time. It's time You know, my dad was 70 when I was born my dad was really old and he was he was an older man So just here you talk about stories about your dad. Yeah, he was my dad was born in 1910, right? What crazy bro crazy my first jokes were all about growing up with like an old dad and like

Oh my god. See I thought mine mine was 23. Yeah 1923 1910 Yeah, it was crazy man, but it's just interesting like Like um, I think just the things like I would get I felt I feel bad as I got older I was embarrassed to my dad a lot just like the way his skin would look like just little things like He'd fall asleep at the game Like he'd fall asleep

Dude, my dad bought a car for some black guys in our neighborhood And so he had this car that had these 22s in at this delta cutlass 88 or something But I had these 22 speakers in the back of it, right? Yeah, so he'd be listening to like Paul Harvey like, you know, like, yeah Paul Harvey Good day Just at the fucking loudest bass you could have just dead asleep in the fucking carpool line, bro We'd have to walk down to the car to get in and the teacher knew we were so embarrassed, dude And it was just this fucking

Sometimes we would make him drive and walk down the block and then get in like I don't know sometimes that's still like this weird shame from like Like just I just wasn't in a space to be loving. I was just like a Like a kid, you know, you didn't know I didn't know my dad World War two and all that like I didn't He would say to me he's like, I'm in a big one. Well eight and nine. Like, well, what does that mean? Yeah, and even when you learn in school, you know, you don't comprehend and he watched the war things like I'm not Comprehending what's going on. You have to get older. That's another thing about just like the big picture of life Like that's one thing I feel bad when people die young because you just don't get to see like how it all kind of

adds up and it all the balance sheet all averages out Yeah, and sometimes I wonder At least this is the only way it works in my mind Where if someone died, I've had people in my life die young and it's actually empowered A certain amount of people Their their spirit right empower like it happened for me like it really

Empowered me in a lot of ways a dear friend of mine Um, what happened to him? Who was he? She it was a she and we were we were best friends with Florida It was before I went full-blown into stand-up and she kept saying you need to stand up and she liked me But I didn't realize she really liked me and we lived right next to each other But we it was a I had the I was lost in Florida I mean I grew up in Long Island and we grew up like brothers and sisters on the same street or whole lives And and we were brought we were brothers and sisters and And even when Phil's dad's tape broke out. We were like now we're playing truth or dare

It's like we were and then my parents said we just want to have some Florida What and then I go down there and people talk different and there's no like what you just stripped me my life um, so she was kind of a saving grace she was from Boston and uh Uh It was it was it was uh, she was she was We were we were bickering over something happened. I won't go into details and then uh long story short

I saw her one night I asked you I was like god man. I If there's an opportunity to talk to her I I don't like this feeling I would talk to her and sure enough I had about two and a half weeks. She was sitting in a breezeway as I pulled in late at night And went over and like hey, I'm sorry. I you know I miss you. I love you and we talked for hours and she basically Told me like it was all her things were closed And she's like, you know, I couldn't go to prom and now I was on the beach and I met this guy from Boston

I went to school with and he just moved down here and he asked me to prom and oh my god I was amazing brother and I gave her this kiss and next day she's like tomorrow I got photography class you want to go and I didn't want to go um, yeah So I purposely was like a little late. Mm-hmm. So I'm like hey man, and I got home. She died of car crash but That It was weird. It was uh, and that was the beginning of When I went to the funeral. It was very you know, she was she was a senior in school. Were you a senior of 19? 19

and so she I remember being the funeral and going wow. This is this is This is not the way this is weird. So I went outside with a couple friends. Oh, this is not what she would want right now She wants me to come she went above and I started I started making everyone laugh and started imitating what you'd be saying to us right now And what we would be doing and everyone started laughing and then I stopped one. Oh, this is not cool because now everyone's coming outside and This isn't cool. This ain't cool and they went. No, no, no. Stop keep going and then

It was weird Uh That's powerful Because somebody's gone and you're there's this there's this power of like of being like a valve release in a weird way It was and then I stopped at her grave before and I would talk to all the time I'd have I don't even smoke but she'd smoke and I'd have a cigarette just started. I went to her grave for he left I'm like, hey man I didn't realize how much you look because her mom gave me these poems. She wrote about me. I was like, oh

Wow one of them was like Uh, uh, if I can't have him I'd rather just not be here and I can love him from a deeper place when oh Wow So I went to I went to the grave and I went Hey, hey kirsten. I just want to kristin. I want to tell you Look out for me. Do you best? I'm not sure. I'll ever meet anyone that loved me the way you loved me and

I know I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna be a star I pray to god I meet a girl before that because I want her to fall in love with me and not the star I go, I I know you're gonna be looking after me and blah blah blah and it was also weird stuff at at her, uh The day of the funeral we went back to the house everyone's crying and stuff and I went outside And I was like, I can't believe I I I hope you're okay. And I looked up there. It was this It was clear as day. It was a freaking rainbow in a circle Directly above her house

So I went in I'm like you guys gotta look at we all look it was It was just wacky moment now, of course other people like well. Yeah, because on those particular days, right? There's particles and that's why in the science set like I'm already don't kill my moment. Yeah For you, it's that for me. It's something else. Yeah for me. It's a little bit of magic It's a fucking loose care bear out there I don't know. I don't know. It's for me. It's something else, bro. Take it easy. Yeah, uh, I'm not shoving on you I'm just turning how I felt like giving you a book and going Don't kill my magic right a lot of you want to kill your fucking magic

I want to get magic because they got none They got none Bro, I'll tell you what it was so scary when young people died, man Well, I forgot where we're going with this. No going. I interrupted you. No. No. No. What the hell was I even talking about? Why was I saying this? I don't know, bro. You were talking about Well, is she your first kiss you think that girl? No, I didn't kiss her. You didn't never kissed. Wow. Just friends, huh? That's beautiful. We were deep friends and oh Powerful on the other side. I don't know where I was going, but I'll tell you it's perception. You know when my dad died. That was the toughest

loss for me And after he died Damn, I'm sitting. This is crazy This is and these are stories like I was afraid to tell when I was like, you know, it happened. What am I? I'm in my living room When you you know, there's cries when you're like Your mouth is open. Yeah It's almost like primordial. Yeah, it's I call it the primal cry. So

and um I'm you know, I pray I like die, you know, what what happens. I don't know what happens You know, my wife thinks you'll see Jesus or what? I don't know Who the hell knows? So I'm just asking like do you feel it like is it an energy? Do we become a? A plan like what what or just is it nothing this and we in space or we have thought like what happens? Yeah, and I'm going. I wish I could just Feel his energy to us on my kids lives. Hope they die from lying. I start here

And it's non-stop and I look in the and it's this freaking bird flying into the windows He's like this he's big And I'm looking at him and he looked like your dad He looked like that, but I sit there at the end. I'm going Dad This is like what's going to do. So I talk myself out of it. This is too weird. This is crazy Every time I walk away thing we do it again

This this bird for year and a half Every day would start in the room where my dad died, right? And then he'd go around the house and go to that same window every day. It was a cardinal Now people now people like, you know cardinal is an angel and uh First migration pattern they do yeah, and but then you got my father-in-law. He's like jesus christ It's a male bird. He sees his reflection. He's trying to kill it. It's not your father. You die We go in the grave. It's over

I'm like, ah, don't kill it man. Don't kill it. So now this thing becomes a joke It really becomes a joke because um, you know the kids would start talking to grandpa grandpa's here It's weekend. You can't be knocking on the windows six thirty in the morning. I want to sleep on the weekend not cool And then this is but this is the weird part. This is weird This thing lasted it showed up in october made a whole year through october All the way the following march it's still going my wife and I and the kids we go to turks and cacos And then we go there for vacation. We're sitting and I'm a little bit of money

I uh, nah, I'm gonna lie. I've done it right. Yeah, I've done it right. Um I've done it right. So All my money is Is it's not in my bank. It's in my kids heads right from private schools and it's in africa and australia And beli it's all over the place. Yeah, it's underwater scuba diving Whale sharks It's everywhere They're like that. We're broken. You show them a picture of them. I'll fucking kill them in jarrow base camp. Here's another hundred k

That that zebra was worth every hundred k cost So So, yeah that d minus my kid gets in private school. That's my house on the beach right there. Bang Um So with the witches why jim bru is on the comedy club door I wasn't thinking long term No salary for a year How much money we got left? Oh my god start parking comedy clubs. Are you sure? Yes. Yeah, how much for a show?

$2 Fuckin schneider just did 14 shows here last week. I saw that's crazy. I saw saloon fishing. I want to talk about schneider Terce K goes primal cry Bro, I on my kids lives. This is weird I I go, you know what and I'm not I talked just like that. I went, you know what? I've been holding on to you too long This is this is wrong for me to hold on to you. This is what I'm letting you go I'm so sorry that I've been crying like this. I'm so sorry. I'm only sad when I think of you

From now on I'm just gonna laugh my ass off. I'm gonna think of you because he was funny. My dad was dark Funny and sexually everything was a sex joke. Yeah, everything. Oh, yeah non-stop You know, we'd my mom would try to go to uh, if we go to a wedding Which he hated. Yeah hated church So the mid the priest was like, oh my god, you know with no pants on Jim for Christ's sake Oh, if I was stupid hat man, he's the fucker. He just wants your money this ass. Oh He was he just wants some money and some kid titty, you know

Throwing him out of the box. I would bring my snl and he you went to my embarrassment. You went to my barrison I'm surprised paul abdule hasn't come out of the woodwork and try to sue me because of my dad's actions I will never forget Never forget my dad once he got comes up paul abdule sitting on his lap And he turns around and he's gone. He's looking at me. He's like, can you handle this? Yeah She's like, I love him because you want to play puppy to my dad. No No Not the puppy and what is it? And she's like, what's the puppy? I'm like, no, no, no, please not cool

You gotta remember he's 80 something years old. She's like, no, I want to hear it He goes, that's when I sniff your ass and you just growl Oh She laughed her So just to let you know, yeah, he was a wild guy. He's waves in the jungle for three years killing him big deal Yeah, I'd smell anybody's ass if i'm in a jungle for fucking three years, dude My car breaks down for an hour. I'll fucking smell somebody's ass That's old school. I said I have cocaine to do that

But the military I think was cocaine is into a lot of people's systems. It was just this You know when they went through some real wars, it just made whatever like let's just do whatever, you know You know, my dad would always say world war two. I said, what was because he would not talk about whatsoever And whenever I really pried him, he got a tank eye for the hillbillies Like why because they knew how to make alcohol or anything Anything they make alcohol or anything. I give them a foot and they know how to make alcohol Yeah, really and you just don't even think about things like that Like someone one of these rednecks knows how to make booze. Yeah. Hey get me four leaves and a coconut

We're gonna be hammered on thursday. We're gonna get through this um So I let him go All right And so you really had almost like a Like i'm letting his spirit. I'm letting you go. My spirit got held on too too long. Yeah, okay And so now i'm testing myself I'm looking at old people because if I saw someone in a wheelchair

I'd start sobbing. Yeah, if I saw if I saw old people So now I'm purposely looking for old people and I'm okay now. I'm starting to to laugh And it's it's working. So we go home And we're unpacking the car And my father swear to god, dude, I'm I I have nothing to sell here. I'm just telling you what happened We go in the house and my father-in-law goes

Hey, uh, you know, the kitty litter's done for the cats. He goes but that the bird's gone Everyone knew the bird the bird's gone Guimy's gone I don't know the middle week. He's just stopped coming around and I I Sat down like this and I started laughing He goes what's so fine went you don't understand

I let my dad go you don't think that's weird That this bird every day He showed up when I asked and he goes oh for Christ's sake get my grades Jesus Christ Jimmy What the hell is wrong with you? You let my daughter's getting into you stop with that shit No god, no G. We just die and a bird comes and go ahead and then I do it your father But that's the power of It's it's perception. It's uh, right?

It's not to be debated. That's my That's what I think a lot of people start losing They're like, oh, it's supposed to be to you and even my wife will go. Well, it's not. Hey, don't don't I don't care what it says here. I mean I care and all that but I'm just telling you what I did and this happened That's my own thought my own feeling Yeah, the magic sometimes it's it's easy for people to kill the magic man It's easy for all the the words and the literature and all the extra information

I got a story for is we talking this guy? Um, what am I too long man? Am I boy? No, you're good, man I'll tell you a story Jim song down in orange county and they used to have a church there and they ended up Stealing a lot of people's money and whatever but before that yeah, but before that No, it's crazy Dude, I knew in the fucking when the guy came out in like six robes on a fucking like golden thing And bro, I remember I went to their church service once they had real camels

real You know, they had real like illegal Aliens they had real slaves at the manger like this. I'm like, this is a lot You know what I'm saying like they had to we're gonna crush it this christmas eve hard And we're gonna charge admission Oh, they did and we're gonna ump it up. Do you know how hard it was to get these camels? Dude, one of the camels defecated on the steps bro and people had to go up and down at the whole night to get on the stage

So anyway, they busted this church, but one night one day i'm over there I swear to god. I'm trying to be quiet because christel cathedra. Bring it up. Will you well? This is why i'm shone shone's on this fire. The reason why i'm laughing is my wife goes to church. Uh-huh They did the same day three years ago a big camel and this church is small It's not a big church bad idea and this thing dropped a deuce right under a camel It's sheep. Yeah, you can't camel a small church. Here's christel cathedra right here and this is in uh Uh, orange california and the the walls would open. That's big. Oh, this thing was huge. And so yeah, so in the back there That's all glass and then on the right if you know go back to that picture if you don't mind shone

Nope right there if we zoom in on that or get her bigger Yeah, so on the right there where it's kind of open that's actually the wall opens up And uh, wow, yeah, the walls open like that. It's just the way it's built. I mean, it was a nice All for the name of homeless people. That's the man right there robert. Oh, yeah, he's famous bobby schuller. Yeah And his daughter I think might have been a lesbian but beautiful brun really talented. I thought but um Anyway, so i'm sitting there. There's this lady sitting next to me The the doors open up a butterfly comes in right comes in Lands on this woman's cheek. She's probably about 85 maybe lands on her cheek thick makeup, right can't move

You know, and i'm sitting right next to her. I've already been kind of just chatting with her. You know, it's church You know, it's really right. You should yeah, you say hey, especially we see an older person, you know, fantastic Yeah, oh, you look great. Yeah. Oh, you're only 85. You know, you look you look 79. You look 78 So pleased I met you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, soft hands Oh, you seem like you're gonna die soon things like that, you know, there's things that go through your head You got a good three months. Yeah, it's gonna be a good three. Yeah, you're gonna do fine She goes I said, oh ma'am. I said there's a A butterfly on your cheek, you know, and she goes, oh, that's my son. He died in a car accident

Six years ago Today and every year today he comes and visits me at church And I was like it blew my mind bro. I'm not even I gotta go look through my phone I took pictures me sitting there like this like And I would just it blew my mind like she was not concerned and it stayed there the whole service and then jet it out You know, and I don't think that that's like Elon Musk, you know doing early trial shit I believe that that's something like I do too It's just a piece of energy that was just wanted to spend time with her. Listen. There there is energy

I think about this sometimes like Me if we have a chemistry and we're talking there's an energy there. Yeah, there's an energy. Yeah, where's the energy come from? Does it come from somewhere higher? Is it do we create it? No one knows science can't create all that stuff. You know, here's a here's a um I remember you talking about seeing the long term something that just taught me the long term. I have a um You know, my mom's side of the family It's four different men and we don't know who the one my one sister's dad ever was and she dated her She dated met a lot of men. Yeah, she started my parents are different my dad zero

I mean he would tell me he's like wow We used to have a lot of turtle soup and possum pie and I thought he was kidding And then I realized he wasn't yeah, wow when I see all the brewers together like remember Paul would make you Go along the tracks gym and if you didn't come with the right amount of buckets now He's five granted and he just whoop your ass. We felt so bad. You didn't get bread that night real rural Why come on that didn't real now she meet now he he ends up with my mom who grew up in Greenwich village Oh fancy big fancy, but then her world came crashing down. She lost her dad She lost her husband while she had a kid and today and a mom kicked her out. She must have so she'd spiraled out of control

abusive horrible relationships like my my step my step family side Horrifying just Horrifying where I came along like I my life kicks ass. Yeah Yeah, um, and so It did it freaking kid. I didn't know any of that. We were blue collar, but we still it was just amazing So Damn, where's that going with this man? See what happens when you started?

It's okay. Well, I started talking about that lady landed the butterfly landed on the lady's cheek at the thing Yeah, and then you oh, oh, I know I was gonna say so the long term we were talking about before Because you don't know the long plans or the grace in life. This is another crazy story. Let's do it. So my nephew When nephew had a tough run. Mm-hmm the black a mixed or what was he? Uh, no dad dad left. He was a heroin addict um And my sister my sister got rest her soul. She died Uh 59 couple same year my dad died

um, but she was great soul, but But never got over the trauma. So she was your father of just her life of her life Of what her dad did to her. So this is she was on the freight train, you know Whatever she wants you just trying to kill the pain Oh But her kids Her one son I went he's gonna either be dead Or he's gonna be in prison and she'd always say like jimbo. He looks up to you like a but I was I was 10 years old in him

I'm like, I can't and and when I went after my dream. We were living in Florida I was petrified to leave him Because your nephew. Yeah, because I knew I was 22 he was 12 and what's his name Ronnie or something Steve oh Steve oh, yeah good and I went He's you saw it coming cops started coming Uh, you know, it's well, uh, he's broken some places spray painted up. Listen to nely anger Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, I feel you bro. Yeah, the pants are down. He's he's going there. He's going there. Sure enough

um Off to the off to the off to camp. Yeah The bad camp the saint the saint local. Yeah state. Oh, wow So he'd write me while I was on snl And I was shocked he was still alive And I'd send him loose stuff a whole bubba bubba bubba I Time for him to get out now. I'm in in new jersey

He's got a beautiful home my wife's pregnant two kids and we start going he's he can't go back home He's gonna he's gonna go right back in he's gonna get worse at home. He can't go back to his environment So he's got to come here. He's got to come his own chance. Let's do it So we bring him here and you want to talk about a movie? Yeah So he comes I'll never forget the first thing he does or he gets I sent a car to pick him up Oh I said a car to pick up the car because he gets out of the car. He's got wife beater He's six for four. I saw him as a little pudgy teenager

Wow And he's inked on one side of his body gets out of the car And he squats He's like, what's up, uncle jim and he lights a cigarette and he's squatting on the curb like this And my wife and I looked at it. It's like, uh, maybe this is a bad decision So long story short It becomes the greatest story Of our lives it it was a lot of

A lot of trial and error a lot of problems a lot of time, but we we realized We had a lot of work to do with him Was it hard to love him? Was it hard to love him through all the mistakes and stuff? No for us? It was easy because all I did was I kept reminding like listen to me You don't understand nobody went like I had such backlash you can't do this you have kids And and rightfully so I didn't tell anyone in the neighborhood. I just told my family and they were full blown You can't do this. Yeah, not now

I said, you don't understand. He's gonna be dead. They're like, you know what? It's not your problem Yeah, you got everything going for you. That's mom's problem. Yeah And my wife and I were like So we had him there And the thing that broke him was so I'd say like listen, you don't understand All I get out of this is that you become a good person and you're able to do your own thing I go if if once I'm gone You're screwed

You need to learn just just basic life And that was through some things he was going through still hanging out with a yo-yo and he started he got pulled over He was like, oh, they caught me like oh my god Of course they caught you because your hat's backwards Getting high through an area that nobody under a million dollars lives And the cops got nothing to do like look at this son of a bitch with 10 in windows You don't live here dude. You want to step out of the car? That happened to me when I first moved there. It happens to everybody of course

so That's normal. The kids broke them I'll never forget. Oh, that's cute. There's like a movie man, and I always said I write it But I'm like I write that would be a good movie. It would be he's sitting at the kitchen table and you gotta see him He's red neg his health funny funny Funny now we'll only vacation when uncle steve-o and his wife and children now

We don't want to make sure whatever we love he we love they were so much love He's sitting there one day this big tough and he starts crying at the kitchen table Oh, what's what's amazing? I never had this. I had why this what omelets? He never had omelet Let me tell you something. I'm just joking. No, no, no, but the fact you say that he after three weeks Like I want to make you a meal Square to god. He made a prison meal. He said I need he said they need cheese cheese dip cheese nips Yeah, yeah cheese nips the square cheese. Yeah, he needed them. Yeah, he needs cheese doodles

Noodles and he would explain he's like this was like it would take months to get these products There's a wedding cake. This was huge in nebana dentury, and it was we three bites one But just you know we're looking show like let him live this this is this is a big It's like the cat bringing a dead animal. This is for you. Oh, thank you I love how you just spread the guts out That was very kind to you meow to you too Love you too. Thank you. So he And and and he goes just this and he's he started crying and then the oldest daughter was five at the time

And she she's like we love you won't go stay in there kids melted him So life goes on. He becomes an amazing human being Gets married meets an amazing woman Have a child life is great Suburbs blah blah blah now recently Uh his father died and whenever something goes on his wife's like You gotta come he's going through something you gotta talk to him because I was the closest thing I I see him as like a brother. He sees me differently. That's 10 years. Oh, whatever

So I go over the house his father died now He didn't he didn't have a relationship with his father his father tried to come back, but he was too Jesus He didn't want to hang out have coffee. It was like you got to find Jesus. He was like stop doing that to me Just if you want to be dad be dad don't I don't want stop putting this in my fit He was showing me the cars like lose card doesn't ask about my daughter Doesn't best my life. It's just you find Jesus like dude Dude, I can't I can't and he and he kept getting hurt going back and blah blah So he had bad feelings because it ended. He didn't have closure as father died

During COVID. He had hepatitis C So i'm going over there dude I pull over and I go we What do you want me to say to him? I gotta I gotta say something because this kid's gonna be in turmoil. You're just asking god Yeah, I said I said, what do you want me to say to him? Dude? It went boom. I went holy crap I have relationship where I laugh. I go Pro

You are Dude, I think if I'm god, I would talk to you a pretty good bit. I think I'm like man. That's a cool. Holy crap I didn't see that so I go in there and I go listen I know how you feel and we did small talking. I know how you feel about your dad. All right We don't know. Let me split. Let me back up and tell you a quick story So I tell him the story. I'm about to tell you I go years ago when I was a little boy I was about 10 years old dad brought me go see Mom and dad we go see Johnny Cash get to see him a couple times

We go to Ohio To visit this couple and There's this guy I met and He said can I hang out with him for the day? I want to teach him how to how to How to fish and blah blah blah and shoot a gun and my parents were cool. I never shot a gun I was scared of death. I think I killed a bird. He set up a can Shot a bird and this is a stranger man. You didn't know what we're gonna get to that. Okay, and so He then took me fishing. We were driving. I'll never forget. He's playing the stones. He looks at me

And he goes you like this. I went. Yeah, who is this? It's satisfaction It's the stones. Yeah, I well. I don't know. He's like you don't know the story couldn't Comprehend I didn't know the rolling stone that happened me at 19. I didn't know him Wow But it's my kids my kids don't know good fellas like So long story short we come home The day before we go and like can I show can I show jimbo this album? And he he goes it's a comedy album stand-up comedians guy named steve martin and he he shows me the album

and steve martin let's get small And he's got a fake, you know the fake nose and glasses and a balloon wrapped around his head So I'm instantly attracted because I'm in 10th grade this doofy He puts it on and I was blown out of my mind That a guy could could just he's telling jokes And he made a record and he's in front of people. I never saw this before I saw her lauren hardy and I saw laughing I saw these tv shows, but I never saw this this I saw her like people doing characters And I'm listening I was blown at him and I listened to it non-stop

I still know the album from beginning to end steve martin. Let's get small. I'm a rambling man Rambler rambling man. I do the whole album changed my life and made me go into Comedy and go dip more into it and richard pyre and then don rickles and george carlin and boom. I was off to the races I go in that Led to the life that I've that led me to my journey right right. Yeah, so the journey there was a little seed led me to Having a house and taking you in having the opportunity to take you in I never saw that guy much after that I go but how great now look at where your life is at because I was able to give that to you

Your daughter and your wife. I go that guy was your father I go so before you go. I hate him the rest of life We don't know what the plan was If he didn't do that for me And I hated him for leaving my sister But look at where we're at now. Wow, but that's You have to be able to see that so that was your sister's father That was my sister's husband. Oh, this was stevo's father. Wow

So if he if that guy didn't give you that album, then maybe you don't end up on the track. You're on absolutely not Man, that's powerful man. I wonder that's a heroin addict That's what he was the dad was a heroin. Hey, let's use a heroin addict. He's a drug act He might have had some mob ties because my sister loved talking about that. Well, it's funny. It's interesting about laughter, man It's like Sometimes somebody even if they can't maybe make you laugh themselves or whatever They want to just share something with you that maybe that makes them feel good, you know It happened to me with jerry clower a man my best friend his dad

This is in mississippi. They lived and And he said to me one day he said man, you have to listen to this and he put it on in the car And it was this guy jerry clower from yazoo city, mississippi And he's uh, he was a famous comedian for a long time Yeah, and he ended up doing being a preacher at the end of his life and then he passed away, but He told these stories and I just said never You know, he said he always said he didn't do jokes He said, uh, it's stories made funny or I tell stories funny. That's what he said. I tell stories funny

But man, he was But if ever since he's dad gave me that I would have never yeah, right Nothing ever my mind that was the game changer and and it didn't even change my life then I mean it helped then me get into comedy But I didn't come back to jerry clower till about maybe four years ago And that even changed my comedy perception and career The way I perform and the way that I want to reach people and Yeah, man, it's wild, right? It's a wild ride. It's interesting how one little thing can

Yeah It's about how do you yeah, what where do those seeds? How do you find that seed? A lot of times somebody needs to show it to you by hand to whatever it is like Advertisements help and the computer helps and that sort of thing But if you can lead somebody like you take somebody to a hockey game, then you were like holy shit Now I love hockey, you know, that's what happened to me somebody has to take you something Yes, you almost need a

Sherpa you need that you need that little that little push whatever and I would see that be on the road And and I remember the first time going the road was a little spooky little exciting But I was young and I remember just little moments where you think it's something or you might And I just remember, you know My first road gig was Cincinnati, Ohio and who'd you open for do you remember? Or was this when you were headlining? No, I was the opener. It was Ray Combs club in Cincinnati and All I remember is I was so excited because the headliner just won Star search. Yes. Wow the hundred thousand dollar. He wanted oh my god was his name

That was the show though. Wasn't it at a certain point? Uh It was but yeah, I don't even know why I brought him up I'll tell you this story. So the so I met you once before and this was in So I was on a show called road rules, right? It was like a reality television show Do you remember a show like I kind of remember that people playing games and stuff and they used to have a show called real worlds and It was MTV. It was MTV. Yeah, so this is road rules. This is 19. This is 2002

Wow, so this is in my half baked touring Bus full blown Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know hard core fat. I was fat. I don't I you know what I actually now that you say it you had a Perfect look of a stoner like you really had a perfect stoner look. Oh, but here's what happened. So I'm waiting outside. I'm in Florida I'm waiting outside for my girlfriend She's coming. She's flying in to visit me, right? We have a couple day break and we're in Fort Lauderdale and they put us up at a decent hotel and we're excited and I'm I'm 22 or something on him. I'm on him gonna be on him. I'm doing fine. You know, I'm excited. I'm also a weirdo

But I'm cool. I'm waiting outside for my girlfriend and you come walking up, right? It's night It's midnight. She got in on the last flight on Southwest And where is this? This is in Fort Lauderdale, but where? At a hotel. Okay, I'll I remember okay, and it had one of those elevators inside where there was like you could see you Could see out of the elevator when you're going up. So you can see the lobby and stuff, you know, okay? Really cool. All right, so you come walking up and I'm like, holy shit. You're Jim Brewer and you're like, yeah, man And uh, I was he's like, what's going on? I was like, oh nothing. I'm here. I'm working on this MTV show It's called road rules. You're like, oh, I know that show. It's like you're like, what are you guys doing?

Just running around hitting elephants in the nuts, right? That's what you said Which was so crazy. That is something I used to say all the time. I don't know why yes Well, here's the crazy part then in sandals you proceeded to act out hitting Yes, you would jump up and act like you were hitting elephant in the nuts dude it It fucking for me and nobody else was around so there was nobody that could believe this and you didn't have camera phones And so I'm like, I'm waiting for my girlfriend. You like you want to come upstairs and smoke man

And I was like, holy shit, dude. I just kind of invited to go smoking But if she if she would have got there our relationship was it if I was high It would have been a mess. Oh that I think I remember because I remember acting out The whole doing elephant noise, bro. You did it like six or seven times. It was just the first time it was good Oh, yes, and try to reach and hit it. Yeah, and in sandals. It was just like Bro, and it was so crazy to me. This is before I was a comedian or even got into comedy And that's why I love once I was out of it. I love I did that was the me. I loved everyone I was surprised. I felt suppressed of those years

Of just not trusting anyone everyone was out to get you in a bad everyone was talking behind your back Everyone's trying to get your fire. I was It was it was it was the worst. Would you feel like you're a trusting person? Me? Yeah, very probably too much right without that. I trust everyone Right out of the bat right right out of the gate because there's no reason not to um But I I literally go off the energy and I really look into the eyes And if I feel you're just slightly off like no, I know

When they right just not today. Yeah, not today, bro. Dude. I trust you. What how long I've been on here? I don't know maybe two hours and I went D. I went I went far. Yeah, I was up to here And wow I'm going here, huh? This is heavy We're hitting elephant nuts. Yeah So crazy, man It just that was such a moment and it's so funny. I didn't know Like I didn't know that, you know, we'd be sitting here now. But yeah, that was such a like it was just so crazy. You were so Funny, man. I wasn't it's such a fun thing being funny when you were young

Were you funny when you were young? Were you funny in high school with your buddies and stuff? I was dude, that was the fun to me. There's no other like You can do specials and like do theaters and do like But man being funny with your fucking buddies in a group when nobody will ever be able to replicate the moment And you're just like sewing this fucking tapestry that's just retarded You don't even know you have needles in your hands and you're just oh god. I love that greatest High and gift of life. Yeah, and I High school was the best and we had so in our high school

We had the first black kid that ever wanted to be white right wiggas They never used in turn wiggas, but they'd never seen it before in our area, right? They'd never so they thought he was mentally handicapped right this kid brian st. Pierre So they put him in the learning disabled classes, right? And he just had him like a starter jacket and was like a larry johnson fan, right? Like he just listened to like, you know bell bivdeville. He was just the first white kid that wanted to be black They just never seen he was a rapper port. I remember that we had one that was doing break dancing Everybody had one right and they didn't know but in our town. That was a learning disability, I guess

My time too. So they put him in the they put him in the learning disabled classes You had kids in wheelchairs kids with Down syndrome kids with you know, like, you know kids that hate He's doing this. Come on guys. You understand? He's doing that Bro, so we had like but I remember just I remember being in middle school and it was so much fun Bro, junior high and shit those those times They I think they prep you for the rest of your life to laugh that hard To the camaraderie. Yes the lifting each other up no matter how bad it got

We'd break one another. Oh breaking each other to the point where you let your guard down. I still live for that. I Live to hang out Uh closed doors. Yeah laugh our ass and we go as far and wide as we want as funny as we want As dark as we want. There's just no judging There's nothing better than full-blown trust Trust in those moments. Yeah. Ah Did you uh, who made you laugh? Who's one of these really gotten you over the years? It really makes you laugh Comedian. Yeah her has in the day. We talked about Rob Schneider a little bit

Oh, yeah, that's so talented and going in he told his mother just passed away and he was going in all these stories about her life But then while he's telling him he starts Acting out some of the characters and it wasn't like a bit. He was doing he was just talking Yeah, he's talking. Oh man. Some of it was so good. He you know, it's really weird I I was on a radio. I do radio years ago And I always Rob was always one of my favorites and um

He came on the radio and I He didn't want to be there. I was in a bad mood. Yeah And happens it was a long time ago and So I always thought from that moment like oh man, you don't like me. Yeah Yeah, you don't like me And so there's still times when I feel like going because I love I follow him. Yeah, I like what he says Yeah, me too. I like I like what he puts out there. Yeah, and there's so many times where I feel like going Hey, man, I don't love you this way

I don't think you're cool. I mean, I don't know if you don't like me. I don't know why you don't like me Do you think that we take things I take things if somebody doesn't give me a certain vibe I it then lands on me that they don't like me. Me too. I take it very first. Yeah. Why do you think that is because you know You know, you know what that they don't you mean? Yeah, or they just it's it's uh, but they don't it's they're not thinking of it that far We're yeah, you're right. You're right. Maybe it's just like you're below them like I took it as it was so long ago This is right. I'm just saying I guess generally like when I notice that a lot for myself If something happens even in a moment, it might mean nothing to them Yeah, this thing with Rob with me had to be 14 15 years ago

Yeah, and he's probably seven years probably do morning radio and doesn't want to do it. He was now Yeah, and it's Susan over and like is this his 40th Freaking interview you had him doing non-stop. He's done. He's done. He's tired of saying the same thing And uh, it was we take things personally though. That's what's interesting I was like, oh man, I don't need to hit it all. I had this whole plan like we're gonna be hanging out We're gonna be hanging out. We're gonna be in a hot air balloon. We're gonna have you ever been to Africa? Yeah, do you ever go to safari? It's pretty cool Yeah, I'm we're gonna go to the one of this massage part was one of the real good ones

Yeah, these ones where they blow dart you in the neck right when you go in It's nothing better. Yeah, you wake up in fucking tight. Hey, you try to fight passing out. You know it's coming You see the other guys come like, no No He makes he merely makes me laugh spade makes me laugh mcdonald makes me laugh. I know everybody you nor makes me laugh Dude, he does hold on. I'll tell you a thing about norm So he did this thing one time He gets off to go from one room into another room, right? He stops at the doorway and he's like

What what is what what is this? What is like a What is this? He's like banging on the door like just the doorway. He's like what is like a portal to like another What is this and he's asked he's literally asking the people in the room, right? What is what what do you call this thing? It's like a like a portal to what it was. How did you just go through? Where am I? And he was just talking about a doorway, but it was so he makes anything funny. Yeah, I remember what it was me him he came to it was I think he was doing a show with spade and urvine

and uh, I went to go watch And he came at it. We went in the we went like by the dumpster afterwards and it was me him I wonder we were talking about outside. Yeah, the little outside area where you park. Yes. Yeah, and I don't know if it was There was one other person there. I remember was there So they say he's a bro. Are you making stone? I went not man. I stopped he goes what?

Jesus christ Fucking guy from head big can't fucking stop getting high Fuck you don't know. He was so angry I didn't want to get high. He was so pissed. He was genuinely pissed. The fuck is that? Who the fuck ain't brewing in fucking high? Jesus Christ the fuck is wrong. Are you joining me again? Jesus Christ, bro. What the fuck? He was so he had judged me now and no No, I just I stopped for a while man. That's all. I smoked it all. That's why I did everything. I smoked as much as I could. I beat the shit out of marijuana

Car, I think you won one hitters. I was crushing it I'm I'm meeting I'm meeting bond years before talking about punching elephants in the nuts been there done that I did it. Yeah dude, he uh One time I had to open up for him in this is at a casino. We're doing like a casino gig in Shawnee, Oklahoma And Cherokee Creek casino, I think and it could have I don't know this cool lady that I think maybe try to make love to somebody But she also helped us get the gig and um

Norm was fucked up. I think that when he went on he went on after me like I don't think he I don't think for the first seven minutes I don't even think he said anything right, but the crazy part was the next day We were at there was like a we had to play cards to the next day. You like be there for the weekend, you know so we go to the card tables and No, I was like man a lot of A lot of good pussy in here And and I don't know him really well. So I'm thinking I'm looking around this room, bro There is zero attractive women, right? There's zero attractive men. Okay, so it's not even if you wanted some ass pussy

There's nothing. Yeah, it's a casino and it's a it's a gambling game. It's poker. Yeah five card poker, you know, so And I'm just thinking well, I guess I just agree with him You know, he's getting older and you know, maybe he has a different perception of what's attractive. I'm like, yeah, man They're sure as he goes. Fuck no, there isn't like he played me, you know, like He's like this is the ugliest batch of people I've ever seen I was just talking about him the other night now. I was there For one of the greatest norm moments in comedy history. I think he was kicked. He was kicked out of Nebraska That sounds realistic. Um

And I you maybe look it up later versus norm mcdonald was kicked out of the state by the governor and he went on he went on Letterman to talk about it Uh, and I want to say it was like 1996 because I just finished my first year at snl was 95. So it was the summer of 96 And I remember going on tour There you go. You saw it go down. Yeah kicked out of Iowa. That's me talking about it. Okay Uh, but anyway, should we look on a video where she was? No, no, don't look at that

I want to see the rear there has to be a headline how norm mcdonald got kicked out of Iowa. Yes. Okay, because that there you go Okay, all right, so Many were disgusted. Some were delighted So he's supposed now you got to stand something. Okay He is the first time me touring with a star Okay, we go to the airport and people are like, oh my god, you're norm mcdonald like wow This is everywhere we went. Oh my god, you're norm mcdonald. We show up at the university. He's like, yeah I gotta go golfing with the fucking governor

They made me a fucking golf Fucking governor. Yeah, what did that game where you? Right, so I like he's he's with a governor. This is huge. Who gets to say that? So I'm I'm it's me Darryl Hammond and him and you wait you wait all both you guys went We're all we're on the gig. Okay. Okay, we're going out. He's telling us. I am and yes, and so uh, we get to the gig And is is packed And they go now listen there's kids here And there's students and alum and the dean and all these people here. So that's the worst

And I get clean. I get it. No worries. I go. We're we're in sunny. I guess that's why we got you guys because you're used to live tv But so Darryl goes up first does his 20 minutes does impressions Does his comedy? Hilarious. Mm-hmm I go up Do my 20 feel great crush it norm goes up. I'm not even exaggerating the first thing he says he goes out and goes Ah Look, I'm preparing. I like this is gonna launch my clue. Are you kidding me? This is gonna huge

I'm gonna be all he goes. Ah the fucking Where the fuck are we? First person even curse, right? I went. Oh, should he curse he goes So if you're gay Would you rather be the ass guy or the dick guy? Hey This really starts off with so

I go I go Darryl. You gotta go see this and he's going and he won't stop He's like because if you're depressed in the bag, he's gonna be the ass guy People are grabbing their kids Riding up the aisle there. I mean, I never saw a place clear out look like a fire alarm was going off But the college students were staying and they were howling with laughter and he One thing and then in the middle after about 15 minutes goes Jesus Christ. What do you mean? Fucking airplane jokes He went fucking 7-eleven jokes and Jesus Christ. Fuck out of here

So the next day in the paper USA today or the cassette to like norm mcdonald's out. Wow governor wants him out of the state Throw it get out of my state But to witness that was I I have so many norm moments in my life. My first press conference with norm was They prepped us until like, you know, yeah, there's you gotta speak and there's some it's live BBC and he's a bigger star than you so you have to sit there and kind of pay you have to be

It was him and spade right next to me. Do you have to be second fiddle at the moment or? Yeah, man. I'm the new kid on the block. We're all new cast. It's all new cast except for spade tomatoes and norm mcdonald's Wow And we're like whoa and even looking at norman spay. I was like, oh these guys are star. This is huge. Yeah really looking off to them and uh The press conference go and I dropped the ball right out of the bat right out of the bat Um, they asked me the lord the head of NBC who fought for me to be there

Goes, uh, jim. What was it like growing up watching snl now you hear you from new york and now a fellow new yorker I said, I didn't watch snl growing up. Well, you can hear I was like, oh Oh, I saw a lot. I went. Oh, that was that was spade went So he said And I knew right away like oh man, that was really bad. That was a bad and so he goes I go well, I I I wasn't allowed to because I was young and he goes. What about when you were old?

He's trying to prep me. He goes surely when you got older And and we're allowed to watch it and I went I was out on satis. I wasn't watching tv and And norm's like You're gonna like you You're gonna like you Yeah, this guy is my guy and he's smoking He's smoking and and marci kline He's going nor put out the cigarette. I'm not done. This guy's gonna get fired

So I think I'm gonna get fired because I saw Lord Michael's face. He was passed So you sitting there super nervous at this point? I swear in my life and my kids lies I thought I was gonna get fired because I just basically said I don't want to sound it alive. Yeah, and I never did and Yeah, which is not not a good answer the message in front of the press. Yeah And I didn't say it in a mean manner, but I could just tell the boss man was like Uh, so, uh, Jesus lord. So now I'm sitting there thinking I'm gonna get fired Swear to god and I'm just like, oh my god, even get I didn't even make it the first episode

I'm gonna let me go. This is what's going on my head There has there has to be a video of this press conference in the black market somewhere I've looked for it never found it It's the 1995 press conference. Okay, and and so They asked norm they go norm You tim meadows david spade You've been here you you know the frat house everyone knows snl is a frat house What kind of what kind of practical jokes you got lined up for these new cast members?

And I swear to you I went I'm not even going to be part of the The frat house or the practical jokes And norm goes Uh, uh, he first of all, he's annoyed. He goes practical jokes Is that what you asked? What kind of practical jokes? Ah, well first we were thinking about anal rape You know like hey, hey, yeah, take your pair. We're gonna anal rape you welcome to silent line. We're going

Oh, shit. He's gonna get fired too. Yeah Yeah You can't say anal rape in front of the press He said anal rape. So suddenly you're like, I'm back in it. I'm in it. I'm good. I'm good And I went up to him after I went nor he's like they don't get it. No, he has a shipper If I get you know, he's fucked these guys And I realized he would pitch At the pitch meeting. He just didn't care

He didn't care And I learned so much from him Just clearly he saw a lot and he's been there forever. Like he would I remember he got he got he gathered the new cast up He's like he got supporting. I guess Hey, uh Don't write me any of your gay sketches Yes, I'm telling you right now and I do sketches getting on but don't put me any of your gay little sketches I swear to god, man

Did I also traumatized him? We were we would play football in the hallway Because he was very competitive. He's always betting And it was a very tiny hallway. Maybe as wide as this maybe And uh, he like come on Three in the morning. Oh, fucking come on. I'm fucking playing football. Me, you, Collin Quinn and fucking uh, Justin Justin you fucking fucked the phone calls. No one's gone three in the morning. Get the fucking ball. Let's go Yeah, so he would cheat would piss me off because I'm competitive And I'll never forget. He keeps cheating and cheating and now I'm pissed. How's he cheating?

It's like a hallway. It's like a hospital hallway, but he fucking cheat. He's a cheater. Yeah, right? So Oh, yeah, he has a cheater. I had boots on So I had I had work boots on. Yeah. Yeah, because yeah, you used those to write in I'm supposed to be writing fucking work boots on stone. Oh, the ink's heavy. Yeah. Yeah. So now Yeah he he He cheered I caught the ball and then he he grabbed it And pulled it from me. He's like, hey fumble and he starts running the other way. I'll never forget

I fucking kicked him as he's running in his in his calf on pow And he goes Jesus christ, bro. Why did you fucking kick me in my fucking calf? Oh Listen, could you just cheat and say you're fucking kick me? Jesus Christ and all he did all week. He's like fucking really fucking kick me in my calf Because I took the fucking ball. Jesus Christ, bro

In spades just into this is like Yeah, and so Those in a moments. I absolutely I loved more that stuff You know all of it was worth it. All of it was worth it. What needy but it was all worth it God. So damn, I'm exhausted. Yeah, we'll finish up, man I could talk for hours. We'll chat. We'll chat another another day. We'll- I'm coming to the show tonight and we'll come watch which one not sure which one's better you think probably well the second one I'll prop I'm looser and I'll go longer the first one I'll come second one

because I'm yeah you're on time restraint I'm yeah yeah it's so early and a lot of my bits are long so I I constantly go okay so I'm 40 minutes and should I do this one so it's I think a little bit more in the first shows where last and excuse me last night's no thinking second shows it's not thinking yes like yeah I feel like going this way go this way did it change is how many change to you in different times like were there times where you got to like okay this was my set and then you started to change at a per as a person because this one thing I'm noticing for myself like

sometimes I'm trying to maybe still be a person that did a set from previous in my life but I'm I'm being I'm different as a human yeah and it's scary to think well I still be able to be funny as this person that's growing and getting different than I was as this person who was it's scary but you will be you've you've long past that part yeah you've you've learned to grow you've learned to grow as a person you you you've learned to grow as an entertainer you learn to grow you learn you've you've created your audience and your following and you will make them grow up with you in every direction oh wow and that's what I

discovered my biggest fear was I'm a family guy I'm getting really exhausted trying to appeal to something I'm not totally yeah and at that time yeah I was kind of stoner I loved me yeah man he's doing life's good haha and it was great but once I had kids I started moving along like I'm not this guy and I'm tired I can't hold on to pretend to be in this person for so much longer and then as I grew it was around 2008 I was just like listen I'm going on a ride if you guys want to come along come along but I'm never gonna be I can't be what I was five ten fifteen years ago because I'm not yeah I'm letting no one is I'm letting

you go huh I gotta let you go I loved you for being there but we'll move along and my I have to say the audience grew to to a point where I had no they and not only did they grow you created everyone you want to be with wow and that's what you're gonna do and that's what you do do well that's fascinating to hear that yeah Dorfman at the club says this is the funniest that he's ever seen you he said oh I feel cuz I just he said that the other day I'm really good in life I'm really good what you what today's you know we I saw him the other night I stopped by to see Schneider oh so he didn't even see me last night no he

hadn't seen you he just said from the last time he just he just talked about your career a little bit and then yeah I got better yeah he's telling me that too I said yeah cuz I I'm not trying anymore I know I'm funny yeah I know I'm gonna entertain you I'm very comfortable going in certain directions even if I go too heavy and I'm gonna come back and smack you with something else yeah there's some material I'm doing now that I'm bored with and I want to do a lot but I'll come out and go I'm gonna do the first half hours just winging it but then I'll see they're really stoked and I'll go yeah there's that thing in your

head I don't want to I don't know if this is the crowd to take the chance with I don't want to waste there like this and the last thing I want to do is bring him here and then bring him back and so it's a constant mind game what might my show but every show is different cool well I'll be out there tonight and thanks so much for hanging out bro my god this was such a good time dude it's awesome and talked forever and ever and I appreciate you giving me that opportunity and giving me that trust and and this whole feeling it's good energy man thanks man yeah it's exciting to hear and just to learn and just I think I look at other

comedians and yeah just even hearing that I'll be okay and that this is a performing this is a human you know I think there's a level of that that you know especially getting involved in Hollywood and this just all the whole journey it's like well I'd be okay as a human you know you'll be fine you're already are yeah you're already there hey man bro thanks man brother be good for me to set that parking brake and left myself on my I said and tell you and I'll be moving way too fast on the runaway train with the heavy load of

my hands and these wheels that I've been riding on they want so thin that they're gonna go now three