This Past Weekend - E323 Josh Wolf

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

Theo sits down with friend and fellow comedian, Josh Wolf, to discuss growing up below the poverty line, hilarious stories from the road and Josh's new LIVE STREAMING stand-up special coming March 4th. New Merch https://theovonstore.com https://bit.ly/theo-von   Get tickets for Josh Wolf's LIVE stand-up special on March 4th, 2021: https://vye.live/event/josh-wolf/   This episode is brought to you by: BlueChew: https://bluechew.com and use promo code THEO to get your first order free Mint Mobile: https://mintmobile.com/THEO for free shipping HoodHat: https://hoodhat.com/THEO20 for 20% off at checkout Magic Mind: https://magicmind.co and use promo code THEO for 10% off Liquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com   Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn   Hit the Hotline [phone]   Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline   Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis   Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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procrastination beverage uh if you uh you want to get in flow state go on and get into it they can help magic mind.co promo code theo for 10 off today's guest uh is a friend of mine and he has a new special uh that will be march 4th live the jump cut special you can get tickets on his website joshwolf.com uh today's guest is comedian josh wolf you know what's crazy is that like when you go on tours like that you know you you don't think you're any different from the first day to the last but like when you get off the road for a week you're like oh shh who was that dude at the end of that you know what i mean like you slowly morph into beth always tells me she's like i i don't really like you after those long yeah you're a

different person because you're used to doing everything that you want at the whim when you want to do it you're living on your time with your vibe yeah and you come home and you fuck it up you got like you got responsibility but like also there's other people in your world now yeah who expect things from you but you are so used to on the road everything you want to do when you want to do it is when it happens yeah i think you know be yeah i think being on the road honestly this for us is probably the most organized time of my life like i am on or i'm almost grateful sometimes that there's the road because it's like then i know a place i have to be i have some a little bit more responsibility you know there's no doubt this quarantine has

done a couple things for me one it has highlighted that i'm not as mentally i'm not emotionally in as good as shape as i thought i was dang because i've had more time with my own brain you know what i mean it hasn't been like the road had me on a schedule oh yeah the road it offers a lot of get out of jail free cards like oh shit's bad at the house yeah i'll be in cedar rapids yeah you want to go to Des Moines this weekend i do yeah oh this relationship's falling apart oh well i'm in buffalo thursday through sunday it's true yeah but also like with more time to be introspective i realized oh some of these things because of my schedule has been so hectic some of the my some of my shortcomings i've really covered up really with yeah man yeah one

thing that this year has shown me like because i will tell you i'm at the same time mentally healthier than i've ever been but also unhealthier because i've i've really sat with myself so i've peeled back more layers which feels healthy but then i'm peeling shit back and being like oh you're fucked up this onion's dirty yeah yeah this onion needs to be washed you know like this layer this onion has tears in it looks like people been crying on this onion what yeah so but it's been it's been interesting man you know it's been interesting the one thing i've discovered the most dude is that a lot of times the happier i appear it's a it's me covering up for something oh dang because i'm a super happy optimistic dude yeah you always seem like the happiest dude

and so what i've looked at is sometimes when i'm really doubting myself or really struggling with something personally i'm extra happy now i'm i am an optimistic dude and by nature i i like lifting people up like i think the more successful all of us are the more the better it is for everybody like all that shit but there's sometimes where i put on that face when inside i'm like the more i hate myself the happier i am to other people really it's what i've just found over quarantine dude it's been bananas really damn that's interesting man i'm trying to think about that as you say it like i wonder if i the more i hate myself the happier i am to other people it's my defense mechanism you know right yeah no i understand i can i can't know i i didn't know that but you

you always seem like you know you're always usually like really affable and you know friendly guy um what's your like what's your like when you are in a bad spot so some people disappear they were they remove themselves from other people right that's their defense like i have a family member that like when they disappear i'm like are there something bad's happened yeah do you know um but it's the opposite for me i want to show you how well i am so i'm i'm in front of your face showing you how good i am you know what i mean yeah that's interesting man i wonder what i wonder what way i am i think i don't know i feel like i'll probably be i'll get more down in the dumps probably you know or i'll get i i definitely get angry like if things aren't going good i'll get uh

i've found recently in this past year definitely anger is something that i've had to deal with more than ever do you do you find yourself like can you when you get really mad like inanimate objects or the gps you're like oh yeah the things like when you're screaming in your car at the gps oh yeah when this bitch is gonna die yeah it's just like the laundry room door yeah yeah yeah yeah all right motherfucker i'll say things like that to it like it's been building up its plan against me and it just got finally edged me again finally you guys are about and you and the door are gonna have it out once and for all i can kind of understand that video where the guy just throws that screen out in his yard you know when they have that video can you find that son also that one that you know

one of my favorites is that dude that the door dash or the grubhub dude who goes walking up the steps and he slips with all of his food that he was delivering and then he just picks up the cup and throws it at the house just for you know it's already empty but he's just he wants one last he's got one last hurrah yeah he wants to get it in there that's it right there show him and click on that yeah this yeah this is this is one of my favorites yeah he's been working all day because also we this kid looking at him oh dad's a hero and he's like this i can't even get back in it's hot out there what's he thinking right now okay i'm gonna she wants me to fix this shit he's he's doing his best to keep it under control right now

hey he's god baby let me tell you my favorite part about that yeah i like seeing angry dude lift shit above his head before he breaks it you know that that is an angry movement right there with such a caveman move yeah and and you know what like he really wanted to i'm sure when he looks back at this video he's not gonna like the way he looked i'm sure he wanted to look smoother yeah when he was wrecking it or when he was throwing it off the you know none of it looked great you know no it'll make him probably i bet i would i wonder where that guy is now like did he get in a crossfit did he get in the yoga did he get into did he start a screen nowadays you could take a viral video and literally start a screen door throwing competition yeah see the screen maybe

that child is so embarrassed of his father he's like i'm gonna work out for the rest of my life maybe maybe maybe that kid looks at that video a couple times and like look at this he couldn't even smush a screen door this homer sense yeah but you know what that screen door the only thing more frustrating to me besides not being able to put it up is you know the when you had the headphones that had the wire and you would knock the you would knock it and pull the earbuds out of your ear nothing made me want to strangle another human or especially at the gym yeah when you're working out and you just knock it and both of them fall out of your ears you're like because at the gym i don't like i don't know about you i need to find uh motivation

so i'll pick one person to hate at the gym i'll pick out their shorts like i fucking hate those shorts like an alan yeah like alan like alan's wearing a six fuck alan you know this ho yeah and i'll just stare down the whole time i've had a guy walk up to me like do we have a problem i'm like nah i'm sorry i just i had to i pick somebody to hate yeah when i live it's interesting to really have like a um like an adversary i guess like a motivation like like why is he wearing jeans and a wife beater and and you know that like i like it's an outfit like he's wearing ash and washed jeans and boots and a wife beater at the gym and he's doing pull-ups and you're like that's a lot i fucking hate this i don't yeah i think i i'm trying to think if i'm at the gym and i think

i used to feel more competitive at the gym now i'm just like i'm just happy to be in the gym like um yeah i don't do as much weights these right now so i'm just doing more yoga and stuff but i guess i feel like when i'm in there um i try to look at the chicks but a lot of chicks now that everybody wears headphones now so you can't talk to any chicks yeah uh so then also if you get recognized it's always by dudes so it's like you know having to talk to a bunch of dudes the whole time you know which is great yeah but it's not chicks no no and you know like i don't want want i hate it when people stand around and they'll watch you do your set waiting to talk to you like oh man i'm having a hard time working out with you just staring at me bro you know what i mean

like yeah can maybe we can meet up the worst is the is the i didn't want to bother you like they walk you follow you in the locker room i didn't want to bother you doing your workout so you thought dick in hand was it better yeah this is a good time this is a better time to jump in so we got sat next to me at a restaurant the other day and sat right and he taught he tried nine different ways to talk to me man and finally i said hey man i'm just trying to watch some bass i'm just trying to watch a basketball and chat with my friend i had to just it was just too much man he was just i was pouring out his life story it was just really sad and like i get it sometimes but this dude was also pretty wasted i think so that makes it tougher i i am not

one of those dudes that like i think you talking to me comes with the job i think like if you see me out especially us it's different man i think if you're tom cruise right tom cruise on a big screen so the difference between seeing tom cruise he's a movie star you leave your house to go into a dark room so if you see tom cruise at the airport you're like there's tom cruise but you're not going to go up and talk to him because he doesn't play tom cruise he plays all those different roles your thio von yeah you talk about your personal shit so they feel like they know like you're oh right do you know what i mean they have an attachment to you that they don't have the tom cruise right so i get it when people come up at the bar or come up because they already

feel like oh i know that dude oh yeah you know what i mean i totally get it yeah podcast little podcast listeners and podcasters and everybody there's definitely more of like a family sense kind of i think so relation sense the thing is this guy that i ran into i don't think he knew me i think he was just a drunk guy you could literally see that he went from person to person and people just kept sending him away he's like everybody i know died in the car accident and i'm like oh and you were like how'd you get out like i'm like i bet they just told you that bro i bet they were living happily in utah have you tried their numbers because i think they still work yeah i had a dude tell me once he um had a couple missing teeth and he goes i lost my

teeth because my daddy ran over me with a tractor when i was six and i was like what and basically i was like well i'm gonna have to need this is a story i do need to hear you know i'm so glad but like one of the things that i do love also is i really love weird shit and the people who follow me know the one thing i do love is people share their weird stories and their weird pictures and their weird videos with me that is something i can't get enough of i just looked you know i just looked at a bunch this morning that people sent to me i wake up every morning like oh my god is any of it on your story or anything i just posted one on my uh facebook page about this dude and i have to post the follow-up videos this dude his he had a growth in his ear lobe

oh and um i just genetic thing usually well no this was a like a seed like that something they planted in his ear it looked made it looked like like there was going to be a palm tree like it looked like well you know if you bury some seed under your skin it will actually sprout isn't that crazy what here go down a little down down further further further further further further further there's me going further further keep going sorry maybe one more that's jaco wolf maybe one more oh maybe i don't know how far down that was the guy who posts on my page apparently maybe he posted it look at that damn is that you yeah what you think about that dude dude that's my first headshot ever first headshot ever what you think about that one man as long as

we got you can't do it i mean i'm we got the world why didn't i get that's an 80s sitcom like that's kirk cameron when was that do you think i can tell you exactly when that was dude that is 1993 there we go um that's 1993 the guy who took that picture thio so i went up this was a gay man oh yeah it always is look i'll tell you this and this is a like getting wanting photos and los andos is a gateway drug to homosexuality man it's basically yeah it dude this but this dude was like hey you know i came into his house and we took a couple pictures and his name start with oh do you remember 93 well i'm sure there's only i feel like it's the same guy it's so long ago okay i don't remember i would have to look but i know that he was like hey i have some he was

wearing a robe when i showed up oh damn and um i'd always heard the robe stories and i'm gonna tell you part of me was like man how come i've never been robed before like what's wrong with me like oh yeah i think that a lot i've never had a stalker like i've never had a female stalker like it's like okay damn yeah all right i've had one her she goes by the name sandy wang um she has a website out about me no way yeah i think it's sandy wang.net and um but i i can show you i have about five there it is yeah that's her this is her artwork okay so this is how i got put into this ready for this good art so i'm out at a dog park in la dude it's not that good and this woman was walking her chihuahua and i had my dog at the time and she said can we take a little walk around

i had met her a couple times and she seemed normal and i was walking with a buddy of mine and what kind of lady white lady black a little asian woman and um we'd take one lap around the park and she said uh you know the twin towers exploded because the government found a video of me masturbating in my living room and i was like oh now my friend was like hey i'm out yeah but i'm like i'm in yeah yeah yeah so she said she said will you go to my website here and look at my art i'm like yeah let's see how she also has a website basically dedicated to a conspiracy theory about me dang and um so she ended up going to jail dude really did you press charges she wrote me from jail and she said and the letter was super like well written and was she attractive was she yes okay okay

okay and so she she got arrested because she said mercedes benz set her up she was walking by mercedes and i guess if you buy mercedes they start the car and they leave it out front for you so you can just get in it right so she was like well why would they have started a car and left it out front if it wasn't for me so she just took a car so she she just got in and drove away and so when she got arrested she was like you know the system is against me and it's an it's an asian you know it's an asian thing and the police were like you actually stole stole a car so she wrote me from jail asking for ten thousand no way the the and what happened you hooked up with her no dude she this is like oh wow this is her website yes yeah uh here's the emails this is the second email i will probably

not be sending anymore anyone who says that will definitely be sending oh my lord dude so look at the look at the subject oh this is our sphincter asshole rectum asshole oh come on this is too much man really sorry for what's happening in your life but you've got to stop sending these to me thanks josh oh you emailed her back i was just trying to to get out gracefully because she was sending the weirdest dude if i sent if i showed you the five thousand emails she sent me wow do you ever see now whether images in the emails too sometimes or no one email was just a picture of the house across the street from my house oh wow i sent about five hundred of these emails to i had a friend of mine who was in the secret service and i sent it to him and i go

am i gonna die and he sent me back he goes no he said she's crazy but she's like crazy like rustle crow beautiful mind crazy yeah he said but none of this tells tells me she's um thinking about doing something dangerous but it was crazy man this is all right this is all crazy writings so was she do you in the end do you think she was manic having like a manic episode acting class with a girl who's having a manic episode for like six months on facebook and she would post things about brad pit um she would post like all kinds of crazy stories like that she was involved in like celebrities lives and stuff um i know it's pretty fascinating to read but it was also really really scary you know yeah and then i think people that tried to reach her like she

would like lash out at them and some of her posts you know like my dad called me today and it was just intense man i don't know what you do if somebody's really sick like that i i don't know i can tell when she's on her meds and not on her meds if when she's not on her meds i get 10 to 15 emails a day but but i'll go three months without getting any dude one day at my house on my home phone now we've always had a home phone just because beth is like just in case we need a home phone but nobody has that number you know so i get a phone call my family has it i get a phone call and i'm like hello and it's wang it's worse than wang i go hello and they said josh wolf i go yeah speaking and they said this is i forget what his name this is so and so

so and so the head of tom cruz's security and i thought it was my brother and i just said hey dan fuck you and i hung up two seconds later same number and i go dan are we gonna do this like tom cruz's security this is what you're going for hung up call back don't hang up i need to ask you about sandy wang now i know my brother doesn't know about sandy wang and i know there are only two people in my life who do know me and beth oh and jacob because i needed to be like hey if you see a short little asian woman around the house yeah get the fuck out you know he'd probably try to smash jaco dude that dude is definitely he's about some fucking i mean listen he's at that age and look i feel yeah he's at that age where he is still willing here's exactly how it is he is still willing to

fuck someone that is extremely dangerous yo we've all been that how old are you i'm i would fuck a stalker that's how old i am that is a hundred percent right that is an age you know what that's like i've always said you know in high school somebody would ask me we talk about deal breakers and we got down to high school i'm like i don't know if i had a deal breaker in high school like i had a woman a girl literally throw up on me in when i was a junior in high school but i was thinking i was gonna have sex for the first time oh yeah so i just told her straight up not i'll shower it off like not a deal breaker for me damn but she she was like are you kidding and i said no like dang yeah yeah yeah yeah but that's young you don't know you think she's going that way too

yeah like oh no yeah let's be sexy let's get back in there let's get back in that shower yeah i think i've had let me think i've had let me think if there was deal breakers oh wet mouth i dated this girl for a little bit and her mouth was always real wet like the lips yeah lips and a little bit like a probably two maybe half a centimeter outside of the lips and so it was like beautiful girl too and so it was like oh this is really cool but then it started to be like uh oh and then she had like sun up kind of a she smelled like a little her breath had like a unique smell that got worse as the night went on progressively bad breath yeah i was like progressively bad and then i think you had to put her to sleep to fucking get it back to zero you know and then

you know so you wanted to take her to brunch it was that kind of girl you know it was like let's fucking brunch and hunt you feel me you know what i'm saying that netflix and chill baby yo there was a girl that i picked up when i was in probably in high school i was at my friend's house um he had his he was his family had a little bit of money and they had a house on cape cod in the summer oh yeah that's rich bro yeah we we definitely did not have that kind of dough and um but we picked up a cod dude i never even had cod until i was fucking probably 25 you wore a cape though i did wear a cape you're right that's a good point you did wear a cape so even even this girl we 17 we met her at the beach her breath was so bad when my buddy brought he was like we're

gonna go back to my house i was like what am i gonna do with this girl's breath he was like when we get back home let me just give her some food so i tried to i tried to convince this girl down the breath yeah i tried to convince her that we should both eat a teaspoon of peanut butter oh yeah i was like how about some peanut butter and she was like what she wanted doritos i'm like no no not with that not what's coming out of that mouth mean fuel to the fire yeah no but a spoonful of peanut butter i thought that's a good idea yeah it's it's like because breath you have to get something to like i'm okay with if somebody's breath is a little bad like if it's dehydration breath like some things you kind of know okay it's just this is a moment they're going through

but the thing is if you get somebody and you smell that it's internal that they're rotten out or something or they're you know they had a baby that didn't hatch or something you know what i'm saying you don't know what's going on sometimes and somebody some of these issues are deep rooted you know what i'm saying and you know some dogs can smell cancer bring that up shone that's true what can dog smell what diseases can dog smell please by the way did you hear that they're yeah stuff out a variety of types including skin cancer breast cancer prostate cancer definitely believe that yep bladder cancer and lung cancer dude you smell enough ass like dog does you will definitely two of those is a definite

they for sure know what a good ass smells like dogs are famous for their sense of smell this sense is so advanced they can smell diseases or medical conditions um they have about 220 million receptors compared to five to 10 million in us that's imagine being able to smell that good imagine being able to smell maybe if the neighbors are cooking would you rather have that intense sense of smell or sight i think sight because smell here's the thing that would deter smell i think it would start to like if you got into like mating situations or sexual situations it would really i think for me it would inhibit me because i would get real nervous it would make you know it'd be like you know the less i can smell i feel like for sex the better you know mm-hmm now it

also amazes me that a dog can um they can smell that good and still want to have sex that much yeah it's almost just it's almost like extraterrestrial really yeah i think they are like high school kids times 20 though it's just pure animal instinct like yeah you know i think all ass is good ass as far as they're concerned i don't i don't you know what i mean i don't think have you ever seen a dog get to an ass and be like oh i know yeah you know they're always like yeah i'll take another sniff like there's no dog has ever been like that's not i can't do that it's savage it's almost like they're on cocaine you know because i feel like if you're on cocaine you'll definitely you'll smell somebody's ass more than once um here's

a disease right here narcolepsy is a disorder that affects the ability to control sleep wake cycles dogs can smell that how do you smell narcolepsy two trained dogs detected 11 of 12 narcolepsy patients using sweat samples dogs can detect a distinct scent from the disorder wow wow that is crazy to me that's fascinating i wouldn't want the sense of smell mostly and here's our difference in ages you're thinking sex i'm thinking restaurants like there's two i like my food right the less you know about how shit goes down in a restaurant because i've worked in a lot of restaurants yeah do you know what i mean yeah you don't want to know what's happening back there no you you just it's two different teams yeah yeah yeah restaurant

is two different teams yeah yeah yeah it's the it's the bucks and it's the chiefs yeah you and you don't by the way and the chiefs are doing their best man they got a mixed guy back there they're doing what they can they got a couple brothers you know what i'm saying you know what they're doing what they can but the bucks man the bucks are showing up to eat i'm saying and you know what else for me like i don't want to know how it got made i don't want to know like don't don't break don't lift the don't open the curtain for me don't show me that fourth wall nah just make sure when it comes out the plate looks clean yeah and the food looks right yeah because don't be like oh sorry he dropped a burger on the ground we have to make another one don't tell me that yeah

just actually pick up that burger yeah and wipe that motherfucker off because i'm not gonna know but now i'm gonna think every burger has been dropped on the floor yeah they drop everything do you know what i mean like just wipe it off we we you worked at restaurants i'm sure you worked at restaurants oh yeah i worked at a man uh oh yeah and gross shit happens in the kitchen it's just it's like yeah i mean it's all it's literally they're doing their best to get food out there yeah that's all they're doing they're not nobody's a chef back there in 95 places i love it i love it when they're like when you have to go waiter and you're like let me ask the chef i'm like is there a chef back there yeah this is again we're at cracker bale brother

there's no chef here let me ask the chef yeah you call the chef because he's wearing a hat because that i you know what i mean like i make eggs at my house too you know dude i remember i used to work i worked for this famous restaurant tour this guy sam fox and this is when he first started restaurant and i want to say he was just managing at this restaurant and i worked there and some guy this guy little scottie he uh he looked like the um chef from the muppets can you bring that fellow up shone i love that dude and uh shone sometimes a little slow he's also a tennessee volunteers fan so that all checks out uh yeah that's all that's all oh this dude yeah i'm just joking showing um and i don't i don't i don't even give him a shot of mic to defend himself today there's

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dude was probably four nine right four nine little scotty they called him and uh he had a chef's hat that was a foot and a half tall dude to make him fucking whatever five eleven and dude these federalies he's like food federalies rolled in one day kicked open the back door and they busted him for uh slinging illegal shrimp he had illegal illegal shrimp what does that mean you 12 shrimp you look up you 12 shrimp what you want to shrimp yeah see what it says jumbo shrimp you 12 let's get an image of those bad boys if we can i i don't even know that shrimp had names oh yeah shrimp come in different uh colossal you 12 white so he was saying he had these but he didn't caught shrimp 17 dollars a pound he did he bought him illegally early galley he went black market black market

shrimp dude and they came in busted they put him on his knees at that point on his knees he's two four yeah you know what i'm saying dude and they kicked his hat off dude and everybody was bro when he lost his hat that's when he lost his everything oh yeah uh did all the illegal receipts from the shrimp come out from under his hat yeah that's where he was keeping him yo yeah this is the shrimp chart right here so you got small that's those 51 60s but wait now you got medium that's 41 50s 36 40s but who's selling you 12s that aren't you 12s you know i'm saying like who's saying hey i got that you 12 somebody man this is Tucson Arizona so people rolling around with fucking hot shrimp and that's the thing dude you got to sell them fast dude you know what i'm saying

you got to sell them for the ice melts it's that ticking time bomb of uh you know it's that pop quiz hot shot of seafood have you ever had a food poisoning from uh from seafood i mean growing up in louisiana you had bad fish oh no we had pretty good fish i think in our area man i think a lot of the chinese came through recently or the viet's came through and gave us uh we look up uh vietnamese catfish takes over america we look over that you mean a different why are they eating all of the no this was uh in 2012 vietnamese catfish captured around 20 of american frozen fish market whoa in 2002 sorry in 2002 vietnamese catfish captured 20 of american frozen food market in 2012 this figure went up to 60 percent most of the catfish you get if you go somewhere

it's not even american catfish man wait so they they fly it over from vietnam or they grow the vietnamese catfish here uh that's a good question let's go to catfish dispute up there at the top that seems like because that sounds realistic entry to us market after years of conflicts of relations between us and vietnam was eventually brightened up when the embargo by the us to vietnam was lifted in 95 december 2001 viet signed a bilateral trade agreement um well there it is imported from vietnam us catfish is generally raised in mississippi arkansas louisiana in ponds um increasing number of catfish imported from vietnam i wonder why i mean it's not you can grow you can spawn as many fishes you need to in these ponds is it that much cheaper

to fly them over from a different country that's crazy so then when you think about it must be so then when you think about that with the shipping costs that's what i'm saying to keep it cold you have to keep it cold or keep it in water yeah that's what i'm saying like they eat so and that goes back to it's like when i when i used to eat breakfast at places like shoneys you know shoneys and yeah when they would say steak and eggs for 399 i'm like leave the steak like steak by itself for 399 i'm not eating but steak and other shit for 399 do you know what i mean like but that's the thing like what so what are they doing to that steak what are they doing to that catfish to make it so cheap yeah i can't even they must be maybe it's uneducated i mean i have no idea you know

maybe it's like been raised in like a just like a little fish kennel that is so crazy my sister has a bass in a freaking my sister is pretty country they live like within you could uncle uncle who's that guy in uh uncle rino who's that guy in uh and what uh uncle riko uncle riko could throw a football from a cabela to their house right oh yeah and uh oh yeah and um they have a bass in a aquarium that can't turn around it's like come on yeah it's like so it just does this the whole day that's crazy oh but it's been alive for like seven years man but angry i mean i'm sure it's not fired yeah yo that bass is the only bass that would straight up attack like that has got to be the worst life take me to the river maybe that's where they copyrighted that thing put me in the water

he's just pleading kill me that is a tough way to go man it's a crazy life but the kids are healthy her two daughters are doing fine so they just you know they don't change up the game man but yeah so it's crazy a lot of it it's called what way fish i think are we fish let me see what it says food labeling claims right there tra or basa they started so a lot of times it will say catfish on the menu yeah and you're not getting catfish and i i could taste it man when i first probably about five years ago i started noticing even in new orleans man i would just notice this catfish is real thin it's just really yeah it seems like it's probably a gamer you know it's like yeah it just didn't it wasn't that thick breast fillet yeah yeah yeah and that's when i realized that oh it was

viet man it wasn't even american cat american catfish yeah i wonder what the cost what is the cost savings can you look that up show them what the cost savings but if they're smaller fish too because maybe that's it also maybe you're getting a smaller fish but still to to have them sent on a fucking boat has got to be so damn expensive the great catfish war rage is on have you ever done the noodling i haven't done it we've had that that young lady came on king in the staying Hannah baron yeah that champion girl and what she said what's the trick to that she said just being tough really i think i think the biggest thing is just getting used to them biting you you know like it's basically getting your hands stuck in something really hard it's just pressure

right it's not teeth is that right it's teeth but they're not they're not going to cut you open so you're not going to slit your wrist or anything but they're going to it's going to be spooky you know that's the thing like how how are you with like where are you with risk and adrenaline junky and all that stuff like is it is is noodling something that you're like i'd like to try that i would do noodling me too i agree with you that i would do noodling but i won't skateboard me neither not at this age yeah no i feel i hit the ground i slipped on the ice two days ago when's the last time you hit the ground hard um young man i got body slammed earlier today by a 65 year old at the jisha how does that feel it fucking felt i felt like it dude i was willing

to be his grandson for a second dude that's how weird it was man it was intense i mean that's you jitsu man it's pretty hearty yeah yeah pretty hearty you fell you fell on the ice dude i slipped and when i was right in front of my house going down the hill so my dog took off this is you guys are it's steep out there yeah my dog took off and i slipped so when i was in midair he kept running so he just pulled me and when i landed dude i landed so hard that i was like all right i know adrenaline's with me but i'm hurt so as soon as i hit the ground i started calling for beth yeah i was right out in front of our giant windows i could see her inside it was like a scream movie you know when someone gets killed but the people inside can't hear him so i'm screaming

to beth yeah i can just see her but i i'm literally and i'm trying to get on my feet but my dog thinks i'm playing so every time i get on my hands he knocks my hands out for me fucking so he's knocking me down and i had to crawl back up the hill because i was wearing pumas no traction i had to crawl and every five feet i was crawling he would knock me out it was terrible i got cut up i got cut up on my hands it was his name harry styles with the dogs yeah indiana jones oh indiana jones my bad yeah harry that's a better name though indiana jones man this dog has straight up lost his mind since he moved here and what kind of dog is it let's see a picture of his half pit bull half uh um half pit bull half american bulldog let's see this dog right here

uh there's an upside down picture of him right there oh damn look at that dude oh it's beautiful how much is the dog like that way 68 pounds dude um but he had huge nuts that beth did not want me to take off y'all took him off she was like why she kept saying every morning i would come down and she would just be petting him but looking at his nuts and i'm like i said what that's the first sign of fucking somebody leaving you i when i asked her i go what's the deal she was like why are his nuts so much cuter than yours i'm like what's that she goes yours are wrinkly and like his are so smooth and tight yeah he's got that good bag man but listen man he was he's younger than me you know like i mean he's i got a couple years on this dude

that gets your guy right there have you seen that video of the dude making a bong out of a bit out of a bass oh yeah i've seen that guy bass yeah this this dude is red neck as f tell me i gotta tell you it didn't even work gang gang gang gang yeah that's your guy that's your guy man i didn't realize that is our guy oh that's your guy and this is me obviously that's my one of my that is not you that's that is one of my first headshots in la look at that dude that ain't you yeah that's me man or is this in uh hold on is this uh near the docks in new york in 1908 why do i look 80 in this program literally looks like my grandfather there is no serious yeah that's me in that's me in 1990 probably eight let's look at some other ones man let's look up uh

let's do bobby lee uh early headshot you should look at joe ds have you seen his early headshots i'm trying to think if i have or not his early ho his early headshots that one right there that's my one of bobby i remember oh wow yeah that's the one wow look at him he looks like somebody that works at islands restaurant remember islands yeah but he also looks like a guy who works at islands islands but also gives hand jobs in the back yeah but look at not that one but the one after here look what happens after a couple years in LA like that that dude looks like he's very different and look at this one with the guitar go look at that one you can see how bad he's doing that i mean it's so crazy right i mean he's really changed it up oh kalilah took his nuts you can tell that

he even talked about it in a recent episode look oh look at this legend yeah oh my god look at that yep my brother took that picture hold on look at his slinging dick days yo yeah dude a hundred percent oh my god bro now all his stories that make so much more sense when you see this guy yeah dude because then now you see him as this more agile fucking let's do it all you know yo so when i met him he was 225 pounds he would go on stage in a three-piece suit um and he paced like crazy really he paced like and he did this with his hand all the time so he made the people in the front row kind of uncomfortable because he was an intimidating dude you know what i mean um but i will tell you and i and i said this before the both joey because i started with joey and brody

and um they when they first started and they were writing jokes it was almost unbearable but when they would bomb and ditch their jokes and just become their selves on stage yeah they would light up they would light up the room and you i watched them gradually progress into realizing oh i just got to be myself on stage yeah especially those two guys do you know what i mean like though oh yeah their personalities yeah they're really yeah i mean with um with brody let's see brody steven's early headshot too brody you had to buy into who he was right that's the thing you'd see people who are sitting there like this guy's horrible yeah and it's like no you don't even if you knew that in the parking lot he's he shows up telling people his vitamin regimen and how he's

been doing yeah um if you knew that his gpa is something he really talks about what he how he did in school at asu yeah it it makes sense you know what he's 3.6 think about yeah if you knew that he just wandered around like that then you weren't shocked when he got on stage just keep looking see if you find anything i mean if you you know little things deal like watching him stretch on stage like kick his leg up and yeah because he was so authentic to just who he was he got more laughs off of jokes with more with that didn't have punchlines than anybody i've ever known in my life i mean it was amazing to watch yeah he had his own way of you know he had his uh yeah he just did his own thing but he yes he became just they wanted to love him and i think that's a lot of

audiences it's like they want to get to know this person that they're going to see yeah you know and a lot of uh of comedians a lot of us we think is just about the joke and it's not about ourselves you know but the crazy part is it's hard to get comfortable enough on stage to get back to this being yourself it's like this big huge circle it's like in the beginning you'd be comfortable by your friends y'all are comfortable having fun at the lunch table yeah you know people spitting out milk people's having fun it's fun you know it's fun and there that's where you get a little idea in your head man maybe i'm funny you know and then you take it on this big circle and there's no pressure at the lunch table it's fun you it's all good you're gonna leave they're gonna leave

you're all going to class whatever and i feel like eventually the goal is to get back to that spot on stage um i agree with you 100 percent i i think man the trick for a lot of us is so when you first start out there are very few people who are confident enough to be themselves you're you're some sort of heightened reality of yourself yeah right and that heightened reality changes either in how you talk and how you like when i was a younger comic heightened reality me was louder moved around a lot more do you know what i mean oh yeah and so but but the trick is to hopefully your audience allows you to grow and change and morph into the real you do you know what i mean hopefully your audience realizes that as an artist you're growing also and you're changing

and i can't be the exact dude i was when i was 10 years in because i'm 15 years in now wow and i'm a different person you know what i mean and it gets scary as an artist too because you get stuck thinking okay well is that just the like is that the only me is that the best me like how will i can i shake that is it okay to grow into myself or is the audience still gonna support me i think also like if you get an audience too early it could be bad if you haven't really become whoever you're gonna be because then yeah they're getting this like version of you that's not really refined or it's not really a 100 as authentic as you could get here's a question that came in right here from someone this could be brennan shaw hey josh deal it's brad from vancouver canada hey brad

josh question for you what is the uh the craziest story you have about living with joey Diaz gang gang gang brother all right i got a couple questions first of all did he need to be shirtless for the question or i think it's makes him feel look i can't i can't make it through a a good television program i can't make through an episode of the wire without taking my shirt at all well yeah but that's personal you know i mean that's something where you're like i feel like i need to breathe why does he the edge yeah yeah yeah i do like the fact that he might have squeezed his nipple a little bit right towards the end so i like this dude it's a nervous habit baby and here i will tell you um my favorite joe Diaz stories come from you know he used to babysit my

kids right and um did you guys ever do the road together yeah man he sold me once for a bag of weed did he really for sex or what yo so pre phones we might have pagers me him and a guy named lennie schmitt and lennie was living in seattle at the time but he's out of chicago black guy nope irish dude bring up lennie schmitt uh i just want to know visually who we're even thinking about um i don't want to be thinking and and be wrong that yeah that's there you go there you go oh he was in joe dirt oh lennie huh yeah why do you go lennie schmitt so me joe diaz lennie schmitt we drive down to roseburg washington we do a one nighter um and we're out of the bar afterwards and we're sitting um as joe diaz called her he was like we're gonna bring

that girl who looks like me with a wig i'm like yeah we're gonna bring her she wanted to come i was like yeah we'll bring her she was driving to you know so we go to this bar i go to the bathroom i come back joey and lennie are gone and i'm sitting there for a second and we're talking to me and the girl for a little while and then finally i'm like where we're joe and lennie and she said oh joey sold you for a bag of weed and i was like what i thought it was a joke and she because he said where can i get some weed i don't have a lot of money and she said i can get you a bag of weed but you gotta leave your friend damn why you're in the why you're in the john and he said deal so i come out and i'm like you're property now yeah i was like well i

don't know how that's gonna work this is jim crow areas yeah yeah i was like i was like well i don't know if i'm down with that you know because she really look she was not my that was not my style yeah she was not and by the way i'm not i always dated bigger girls so big what isn't an issue for me like i i always said like i like a girl with a with a big ass i like to see the wave you know what i mean i i i have a big mouth so i like my girls to be a little bigger just in case there's a fight you know what i mean yeah and beth is the first girl that i ever dated that was i like him a little bigger so this girl being big wasn't a problem just the entire situation you weren't attracted to her yeah yeah yeah she goes i gotta let me drive me back to that hotel

she goes oh okay was she nice was she cool yeah until we got back to her place oh yeah now why did you go to her place at least at the hotel okay i go yeah take me back to the hotel she goes cool and i don't know anything about this place she goes hey i just need to swing past my place real quick to get some more weed for you guys and then i'll just drive to the hotel and i'm like perfect more weed how much you guys gonna smoke well i guess you got joey witch i figured joey it's gone by the time i get to the hotel do you know what i mean let's smoke a motive baby you dude i showed up at that house and we park she goes in her room to get weed she comes out in this crazy lingerie dancing like the guy from silence of the lamp oh yeah you know what i mean

yeah but like but like let me give you an idea the the body type like the belly was bigger than the boobs oh yeah you know and no booty and so and and that's that Tampa dude that's that Tampa yeah that's that delray beach step mom dude but yeah but i'm gonna go even worse short curly hair ooh yeah yeah you know what i mean the whole package was not yeah but she's dancing in this lingerie and i'm like hey i gotta yeah yeah i gotta and she goes let me try some emails on she and i was like no no no no try something else so she goes back in and i'm looking for yellow pages because i'm like i'm gonna call a cab yeah she comes out with another one she's running her finger over my cheek at this point it's feeling kind of rapey yeah because i'm like she's definitely

double my weight like i think i could outrun her but she's got a car yeah and she's bigger than me yeah and you can't just run off into the distance so like this guy there's a buffalo bill dancer her roommate comes home ooh with her boyfriend he walks in and i stop in the door i go hey man we don't know each other but you got to get me out of here okay and he was like what i go i told him the situation she comes out in her third outfit and he looks at her and looks at the girl's roommate and the girl's roommate goes you mind your own business and the guy was like i got to take him home i can't i can't do i can't do this to him no he guy coded me and i was like thanks dude he goes yeah i may not have sex tonight but i'm gonna save you i was like dude thank you so much we

didn't drop dude we didn't talk on the way to the hotel i just kind of looked out the window like one tear like it was a traumatizing but he dropped me off and he and we just fist bumped didn't say anything i walked to the room i knocked on the door i go joe deus and he was like who is it i go you know and i was like he gave me some of that weed he was like now we smell we smoked all that dog we yeah he sold me for weeds was asleep in my bed ate my food in my room and then was like hey can you drive i'm tired but yeah man we we've done some road gigs together dude that's awesome and i'm trying to think if i had a good road gig story what about the one where you and i tried to sell at a convention center oh man is that the most embarrassing that shows just how

little we knew what was happening with stand-up comedy theo man that was wild man so i'll i'll start it so yeah yeah well josh josh and his wife who is from lake charles was putting on a comedy show and we'd just been on last comic standing and they're like hey we can sell some tickets let's do a show down in lake charles you're from louisiana best from louisiana let's make it happen we were just on tv yeah tv must yeah we're gonna sell this place yeah so how many seats was it let's look it up let's look up the place the lake charles convention center yeah i'm dying to know me too well hold on before you hold on let's guess you wanna guess yes yeah 15 000 no you think i'm gonna guess oh you might be right i mean it's a convention center because cable guy had just played

it he had wow i'm gonna guess 2600 75 7500 all right it maybe it seemed like 1500 because we only sold can you show a picture from the stage i wonder if there's any stage view that's it wow do you remember how many people were in those seats there so i i remember because yes i could see each one of them they're at one point we asked them all to come down to the front you remember so we were gonna do radio right so we didn't even have radio planned and the convention center called and they were like are you guys expecting a late rush of tickets and i was like you know maybe i go why how many do we have sold because it was the weekend coming up and they were like we got 170 tickets and i was like what and they said yeah and they said we've

brought the curtains as far in as we can wow but you know what i mean but yeah but you still there's still 4500 seats exposed dude and then here's my favorite part of that besides the fact that we did the show for probably if there were 150 people there i would be excited i don't think there were no some were bought as giveaways i think so yeah my favorite part about that theo is that you know beth made about 2000 hats you remember those way oh i still got a box at my house to i give them away on my lives i love that but there's about it just says fairly normal because remember we made that poster fairly normal comedy tour was that it yeah yeah we made that we made like a fairly normal comedy tour there's no way there's a poster that was it that's it right there dude

look at you wow look at that shit august 5th 8 p.m late charles this was 2006 it should have said everybody who buys one ticket gets a whole row look at this dude um oh this is so terrible why are you third behind flip shows i don't know it's just the whole thing's cringe that's it's awesome though i can't i will tell you man who who opened the show flip no no no no amy oh yeah amy claire amy claire amy claire opened the show because she was from we thought oh she's from around here too that'll help she'll sell a bunch of tickets none of us could sell anything a ticket uh yeah i mean i think most of them were you guys's friends and family all of them yeah it was it was to this date like the most humiliating walking out it has to be the smallest

amount of tickets ever sold in a large play i can't imagine there's something smaller 160 tickets in a in a convention center yeah in 7500 seats and but i will tell you the truth i knowing what stand-up i was doing back then that's about all it deserved yeah like i didn't deserve more than 100 people no dude i was telling jokes about pt cruisers that flip it just bought one and that was a crazy that was the tough part of me for the weekend 14 percent of my jokes for about um kind of a homoerotic essence of a pt cruiser car yep and flipsholtz had just gotten one as like his dream car or not dream car but he just got happy yeah yeah he was happy yeah so it was like oh man we had also just got through on the radio the day before we had just got through doing about a half an hour

rant on his hands yeah really on his skinny little fingers and how oh my god dude it was like like it was pretty crazy and then he flew in we had a great time but 150 people was i got a couple of hats if you want a man i wouldn't mind a hat i think yeah yeah it it's it typically was 15 years ago 2006 when do you feel like um i only started coming out thing in 2003 yeah 2004 when do you feel like like around what time with your stand-up because i think this happens for everybody where you feel like oh you really sunk into it you're like got it well i thought about this the other day we were talking about it at the at the comedy club i was thinking you know i always felt like in the beginning of stand-up it feels like there's like this tide coming in of like pressure

from the audience you're like okay i have to get a joke and there's you know i got to get another joke and okay there's a laughing but there it's all like defensive there's this tide coming in and you have to like battle it and battle it and then eventually over time and you don't even really notice it you get up and you don't you're the tide yeah so you are putting out the pressure you are putting out the force there's nothing coming back in maybe every now and then there's a little bit of like a undercurrent or something of like okay maybe i should move this along or i'm a little rusty but there's it gets to the point where you're the ocean you're the force and i think that's that's just what i noticed over time and i don't even know when it happened really i think

you know maybe like there was one point where i got upset with hollywood and i just felt well i didn't i don't know if i got upset i've always kind of had a chip on my shoulder about hollywood just because i feel like they don't put a lot of people like regular people up in hollywood that much and it's a lot of nepotism now it's like this person's kid now it's just and the kid has no culture you know it's just there's no so i think um i was always trying to like sound like a perfect guy who would be somewhere you know oh i'm in the yard next door you know like just this thing that would be okay for hollywood and then at one point i just said dude i'm just gonna talk about what i like to know what i know i'm gonna talk about just the shit that was

around me growing up and just the weird people and the shit that happened and people you know they busted a man trying to be a ghost in our town and just shit like that you know just like stories from home and um do you feel like your comfort level do you feel like when you started sitting down was also around the same time you got more comfortable uh no i don't think so i think i started sitting down just because um i have one story that takes like about 12 minutes and it's kind of better from a stool yeah and so i think that's kind of led to me sitting down i think in the future i'll probably have to get back on my feet to really start to feel everything again you know getting older it gets more comfortable sometimes sitting down too

you know what was for me like i it's about nuance like it is about the performance you know and as i've gotten older i've really given myself more leeway to be experimental on stage and um so i did one whole tour from a stool i did what then i did the next year just standing in front of the mic wow and then i did one of just moving and so i was like it's so interesting now i can tell what part of the story needs me to be still and what part of the story needs the motion because it really adds to the punch you know what i mean but if you're always moving or you're always still like i really feels like you can figure out in your act what parts work better like that you know what i mean and to me that those nuanced parts is what happens when you

get a little older and you've been doing it a while you're like oh this this joke's gonna work better if i sit down for the minute leading up to it and then stand up for the joke yeah or little shit like that you know yeah that comedy nerd stuff i really started to dive into you know yeah well you and me are more storytellers i find you know and there's not a lot of that these days everything gets real cut and dried um and stand up are you and i noticed that you there was something up there there was dirty and you said f d are you do you consider yourself clean i think i just don't like i try not to be vulgar right like i noticed it started just i don't know and i probably have a very bad understanding of if i am vulgar and then i'm not trying to be vulgar right but i don't

like i think some stuff it feels too graphic to me it just like i don't know a lot of times it takes people out of it i feel you know yeah i feel like if a what if like there's a lady listening and she hears uh you know if she hears me say the pussy or you know you know ejaculation or something like that or ejac or something sometimes they they shut it off yeah ejac's a tough one i heard well ejac is easier yeah you get the point across yeah well i you know it's interesting you i think it has to do with being authentic right because i i don't i've i've very rarely do i hear people get offended by joey because it's so authentic coming out of his mouth right and if it's not authentic to you then i think it offends people more easily because it also sounds oh that's a good point do you know

what i mean yeah i'm never offended by anything joey says because i'm like that's just it's like when a white guy says the n-word kind it's like oh it sounds a little inauthentic yeah you you're trying to those right now i'm gonna actually open up a select item i haven't seen it yet but gang i'm interested in this thing man you got to see this beautiful hitter right here from hood hat hat our friends at hood hat are now making custom caps that's right oh i got mine right here man they're now making custom caps made to order with your neighborhood or city's name on it hands down the best snapbacks in the game they have that mid-profile vintage fit made from the finest marino wool that's right hood hat the essence of your neighborhood culture will always be a

part of your dna and hood hat empowers you to tell the world where you're from i got my gang buzz mandaville lid and my gang buzz covington lid right here i got two of them man on their website you can make it exactly how you want it to fit your brand fit your hood fit your street name gang baby go get that from hood hat just go to hood hat usa or give them a look on insta at hood hat usa that's right use code th e o two zero for 20 off at checkout that's code th e o the number two the number zero for 20 off at checkout go to hood hat dot com let's uh oh here we got a question right here from a young gentleman right here beautiful fellow right here it looks like the same deal with his shirt on yeah he could be the same guy

with his shirt on right here beautiful man hey what's up guys quick question uh josh probably more towards you i got this little uh this little swag daddy over here yeah what's up player you know he's a stud he's probably gonna mount a lot when he gets older respect but uh he's the defiant one starting not to listen and i know when he gets older he's probably be a little motherfucker so i want to know you know in this this new woke age you can't hit your kids anymore spank him so josh what do you you know is there any other ways to discipline him i know time out for pussies thio you know we come from a different time do you know i'm sure you got spanked when you're a kid do you actually think it worked because when i was a kid i remember i remember the

beatings i don't remember why i got the beatings so i don't know if i actually learned anything from it so i don't know if you guys can give any help it'd be appreciative thanks guys gang and uh yeah man yeah man yeah man man well here's the deal for a child that age it's hard for them to understand discipline and i i i firmly believe especially that age all physical does is instill fear because you have no understanding at that age you know what i mean i didn't hit my kids um but i do think every kid needs to be parented differently like if i have three older brothers were all different people were all responded in different ways all my dad had to do to was raise his voice to me and i was like fuck it that i am good like i'm ready to do whatever you need

my brothers weren't that way i will tell you this for me for my kids and i think jacob is a good dude man he's turned out pretty well yeah he's like a really cool guy um man there are things that they here's the thing no you don't negotiate with terrorists they're all terrorists yeah you don't keep giving chances i i i always told my kids here are the rules you're not going to hear me tell you again and warn you i just gave you the the warning is the rule so there's you have to know they have to know oh if this happens i'm going to get in trouble right and take everything phone x but you know these this generation of kids thinks they're so tough have you seen videos of people getting their xbox taken or they try to i mean what's that crazy video with a dude tried

to shove the remote control in his own asshole he was so mad at his parents for stealing his they go crazy dude they're not all you gotta just take the phone take the xbox they lose their mind they don't know what to do no take what they love leave jacob one time defied me because i told him no vapes man i better not ever see you with a vape this you never saw this deal oh my god i can't be my mom just canceled my brother's uh water work i have to count and he is okay wait the ending is the best i don't think it's fake because i don't think kids are that good actors look look how crazy i don't know kids are willing to be good actors because they have no idea how

ridiculous stuff oh he's naked now after the sheet wait oh my god here comes the come on grab watch this oh my god how primal huh see now this kid needs his ass this is when you beat a kid yeah man but all i'm saying is for me it's just a tantrum it's like a watching a baby you know but here's the deal dude so my son tried to throw a tantrum at grocery store once my oldest son Trevor i left him yeah i go hey man we don't do this in public and i go we're leaving he was like i'm not leaving i go cool i am yeah i i got jake up i got my daughter we got in the car and we drove the fuck home what time do you get home

oh no no i mean he was eight so i didn't leave him leave him i drove oh wow and then i drove back i see and they were going crazy like i came back i came back like 20 minutes later the other kids like you're leaving him yeah and i was like yeah i'm leaving him i go no tantrum this isn't what we do yeah i remember my my dad left my my brother for real but but like oh yeah we got left i mean my mom would be like yeah i can't come get you or if there was any oh i'm gave spankins i'm trying to think of what else if we got really left uh yeah she would be like i you know i'm not coming to pick you up and she'd have to walk home i remember walking three four miles to get home i remember walking when i wanted to go somewhere a lot of times you know or taking my bike you know

i bike three four miles um my brother walked like 11 miles once to the movie theater you know which is insane i thought and i think the girl didn't show up oh that is the because the whole way he was going especially back then yeah it's louisiana oh yeah that first 200 feet it's a wet stomp oh he couldn't wait to get in that cool dark movie theater sit next to his girl sit next to his girl dude watch a little uh point break oh oh and you know when he got in that movie theater he was sweaty he was chilly i i i remember uh feel bad for him i still trying to make out with girls at movies like when i dude yeah my thing was i'd invite a girl and i would get there and i would get there i'd invite a girl when it was cold out and i'd get there early so i'd have to pay to go in and then

they'd have to pay to go in for themselves you know oh you weren't you were going dutch no i don't know if i don't know if i was dutch or not but i paid and i hope that they would pay you got in there you're like oh yeah i waited for you yeah yeah yeah it was so cold out i also didn't have money to pay for my first girlfriend looked like a boy anyway brah what was his name uh her name was susanna and she's very beautiful adult woman but at the time she had a very kind of a masculine energy as a child and was she your first girlfriend yeah i think she was she used to lift me up like i would kiss her and she would lift me up at the fucking bus stop and like put my legs around her waist like dirty dancing shit it was like i was she was taller than me she was older than me oh really

she would literally lift me up and put my legs around her waist yo and the guys on the bus would show up and they were all losers none of them had any girlfriends you know they were like look at this fuck you know i'm like what are you talking about she had you in a little baby bjorn facing forward yeah that yo when i was real young this girl i must have been in sixth grade this girl convinced me her name was stephanie and she was like i because i didn't know what you were supposed to do with girls and i remember kissing her and stuff and she was like tomorrow night you can go up my shirt but the back and it was still skin you know oh yeah so when i would go up the back of her shirt dude she would make her little you know what are those fine maybe she would

make the what are those your shoulder blades yeah she would stick them out so i could feel yeah man so i was like i remember my brother being like that tits that's what i told my brother i said back boobs and he goes that's not a thing i go it's the part he was like you have him too stupid like yeah but they're not they're not hers they're not on stephanie yeah i would go up there and squeeze those back boobs man dude i remember yeah this girl that i did it she wore a bra she even need a bra and she wore one and oh man i just remember being in heat you know how psyched were you that she had a bra not even that the booty just the bra man i oh what am i even doing yes she was rich bro and we were so poor i was so embarrassed man sometimes my mom would have to

take us to the movies um had like the smallest car it was like she had a ford festiva bring that bad cat up yeah this thing and they had like mercedes or something and they were like ford festiva let me see oh that was it right there boom right there that was it that was mom's car dude now let me ask you the gray one the gray one automatic or manual it was automatic uh manual i do miss the manual i do miss the and was it four on the floor like down here yeah i was on the floor too so it was five did i was so embarrassed to be in there yo we didn't have a car and i think ran on my tears i felt and i feel bad man my mom was just trying to be a mom but no i get it man i had no i was just i love how it says pristine 1993 ford festiva somebody's damn that bitch is

rick and that's sharp how you could drive that's a repository dude you could fill that thing with zanex and drive it into your butt that thing is intense yo how much do you think let's make a guess prices right rules how much is a 1993 pristine ford festiva going for i'm gonna say right now in today's market i'm gonna say 7 000 well i think you're overshooting that i'm gonna say you might be right i'm gonna say 30s 42 50 30 750 49 99 that's okay that's not for the car are you looking in the car part that actually i mean it doesn't seem too far off they have so many dope older pickup trucks in nash oh yeah around this area i started looking at them i started thinking about uh i ended up getting a ford ranger that's what i got right i saw that i ended up getting a ford ranger but i

thought about getting uh i want i thought about maybe trying to get one of those tesla trucks when it comes out those things look amazing man yeah have you seen the rivion truck uh oh you gotta see that well who makes that um i'm not sure can you uh sorry show me get you doing a million things dude let me ask you one more question about your stand up because i'm i'm as i'm writing more and more you write on stage or you write here i write on stage yeah me too and then i bring it off stage and then i'll spruce it up you know do you when you write on your computer do you find that your jokes are different than the ones you come up with on stage you know when you're sprucing it up right yeah i find whenever i write whenever i sit down to write i don't write

jokes the way i talk so the my best punchline has always come on stage because i'm i'm writing the way i talk oh yeah and then i'll record it then i'll record it and then rewrite it down yeah got it got it got it but yeah i find the funny thing for me i've had jokes that i wrote like 10 12 years ago that i've never tried on stage that i've always wanted to and i'm still afraid to try them sometimes so thea this special that i'm doing on march 4th i found my very first comedy cd and i was like let me just listen to this i made like 20 of them and i thought there's a bunch of good premises here but i'm gonna rewrite every joke and redo it really so i didn't punch them up i rewrote every joke under the the microscope of who i am now right it was such a cool thing man

because a lot of those jokes you know when i listen to old jokes i would listen to the cd and i was like oh that's a good joke but i thought it was over like if i got a laugh i was like okay now i can move on yeah as a younger comic you're like well i don't need to dig or you know and i just found there was so much more so this the march 4th special that i'm doing is like the one i'm most excited about that i've ever done because it's it's i've never done this before i've never rewritten an entire hour of material do you know what i mean yeah under being a better so it comes out when january fourth uh march fourth okay um it streams live so i'm doing one take dang one take i'm streaming it live wow yeah yeah yeah but you know what man i love that shit so i like kind of

that fight or flight feeling and so that really will give it to me dang bro that's ballsy and where are you guys gonna film it here wow that's awesome congrats dude thanks man and and uh yeah you can get the tickets on my website comedianjoshwolf.com and will it be up out online after or no yeah but we're gonna obviously we're gonna wait a little bit because we want people to right here's what i really want man i'm trying to show it hopefully this is going to be good for all of us because hopefully we don't need hbo or netflix if we put this up man and me with my reach i sell a certain amount of tickets and i say to you i go theo we may not need netflix man i sold this amount of tickets lord knows what you could sell yeah and then you own it do you know what i mean like right

so you're you're still making the paycheck that netflix is going to give you right but you get everything else on top of that and you know the special is going out to the people who want to see it because it's your people right it's it's so i'm really trying to not upset the apple card altogether yeah but uh a good amount of tickets sold will change the business it could change your business for all yeah you know i mean look i love that i love the idea of trying it different trying something new trying you know to put the power back in the hands of people you know it's crazy it's like um yeah it's crazy how much power that a lot of uh these companies and they can flag you they can take stuff down they can limit you they can not give you opportunities it's just crazy

to think that um especially since all a lot of the media is just extremely liberal which is fine but it's not fine if that's the if that's the judgment because there's going to become judgment with that yeah and so there's going to come judgment against like certain types of comedians it's like it's like they're sometimes you could say they're just letting through what they want to let through you know and so that could be a little bit scary like nobody should be not have a chance you know because the guy at the finish line wants to move the finish line or make it only for certain people that's crazy right and i'm not saying that really applies here but it's really kind of like what it feels like sometimes like hollywood has become you know i

think there's no doubt i think that you know my content has always been more geared towards the middle of the country than it has like my worst room to perform in the country for me consistently is that main room at the comedy store yeah easily my hardest room my toughest room i'm i'm not and never have been really one of the cool kids you know what i mean and it's a cool that's a cool room man and the people come down there are there to see the cool kids and i feel like my humor is just a little broader my stories are a little broader you know what i mean they're relatable to a large group of people but not so much on the coasts and there's have been a harder rooms for me hmm you know i'm trying to think of what my hardest room has probably been

you know where i've always had a tough time man i feel like is in minneapolis well that you the house of comedy yeah those ceilings are thousands of feet high oh that's insane yo so those those ceilings this house a little because literally i tried to jump off that thing i landed on a bounce yeah so it's going on in that mall yeah it's on the 17th floor yeah there are penguins in that mall dude it's insane there's a gun there's a there's a gun range next to the weed store yeah i bought weed and then i went and shot guns yeah puff puff pop pop there there there is and there's that water slide in the mall where you could when you can smell the herpes and that that that place is like you can't go to a water slide in a mall unless you want every disease

like you yeah you gotta cover your eyes get it on yeah let's get in there man mouth open let's get into that yeah your daughter's pregnant but she's only been on the water slide yeah your dad like where you been she's like water slide like who's that a black guy like no that's a that's a mall yeah they got a ice skating rink in there man they got a little bit of everything yeah yeah i can't believe you hadn't seen that video that kid with a remote control well here's why it seemed fake to me because the brother runs in there sets it up and then the kid comes in it's this it's the exact way you would do something that was fake the only and i that was my first anything too except the kid i just don't buy that you like i have kids i just don't buy you go that

mental but do you feel like i feel like he's always playing to the camera i feel like a little bit like he's playing to the camera but also i'm a naysayer so i would say that i would say what i just said and i love weird shit so i'm just gonna believe it yeah yeah you know it is a lot more fun for me just to believe that that kid you know i love the fact at the end the guy tries to put the remote into his butt because it's like him saying you know what i'm gonna fucking show them i'm gonna put something in my own ass yeah yeah you know that's how much is a lot i think a lot of gay young men feel that way too it's like okay this neighborhood is wrong me this community hasn't accepted me i'll show them i'm gonna put something in my ass i'm gonna go sit on that

long drive yeah yeah something like it's just i'm gonna i'm gonna fucking own i'm gonna control something you know i'm gonna put direct tv right you know i'm gonna freaking i am going i'm gonna watch f is for family oh my damn kidneys i gotta tell you something though if that dude could control the remote control inside of his butt cheeks oh now we're talking viral yeah if he could like pick channels and stuff yeah that would be pretty impressive this dude vince and jacks must wait man he had been DMing me which is crazy really i feel like he'd been DMing a lot of people yeah he would just kind of communicate uh and he would send a lot of stuff that i felt like was

kind of wild like links and things you know like uh just crazy videos sometimes some of it was a little bit too it was almost like why it was like somebody getting hurt or something you know yeah i don't like those videos um so some of that sometimes i even said one time i said i don't like that kind of stuff um yeah but he seemed like a nice guy i mean i just messaged with him a few times um but this is so sad man hilsbury county sheriff uh tamper radius discussed the key findings autopsy that jackson was suffering from chronic alcoholism man let me ask you something man because i i for sure i had to deal with my own depression stuff you know it seems like so much of this like the more i'm aware of it when i read you read it you're like this just all feels like

part of mental illness you know what i mean yeah and like um especially for guys like this i'm sure it's harder when you've been such an alpha masculine dude where your body is basically the that when your brain starts to betray you that you just might you must not want to admit it you know what i mean it's sure it's hard enough like i i have had in a hard enough time and i'm not some alpha ultra masculine dude but for these guys to admit that their brain is betraying them must be the hardest step for them you know it's a good point man i didn't really i hadn't really thought about that yeah because it's total opposite of everything of like the weights and the yeah ability and the push through it yeah yeah push through it it's total opposite of everything

that they've heard yeah i can't imagine man and i think some of the come down of being like a hero i mean this guy was a he was great at football i thought he was still i can't believe he you know i think it'd been five years since he last played which i found was kind of amazing but you know maybe i wonder if he knew that i that i had suffered you know with uh with drinking or drugs and maybe that's why he had reached out to someone i don't know he never said anything like that yeah i just found it kind of interesting maybe he was just a podcast fan you know i don't know um but you know i do find that like um or podcast listeners people do reach out though you know i talked to a couple weeks ago or maybe a couple months ago on uh fighting the kid about my daughter

and her being in rehab and all that stuff and more people reached out um and i do find that when when um and i don't know if it's part of being in the program or part of being in recovery where you know that the more people that reach out it almost makes that other person feel better do you know what i mean feeling less alone i i guess oh yeah and so maybe that's part of the thing that he you know he understood that that's where you were coming from too and it just made him feel less alone maybe i don't fucking know yeah i don't know i wish he'd have led some since you know i i don't know i mean yeah like i'm sure he was communicating with a lot of different you know people but he was just i don't know it's just sad to think that a guy was at a you know that

had checked into a hotel and had been there for almost a month it seemed like or three weeks um and that he by the way if you're in a hotel for more than two weeks sums up yeah more than two weeks yeah in the same place in bradenton florida if you're in a hotel for more than two weeks i mean look at this guy this dude is him yeah physical specimen apparently a really nice guy i mean but also how the the effective alcoholism if you look at it like he just finished playing five five days ago days five uh five years ago oh yeah can you put any other information can you go to another article do you mind shon but did they say how he is it say anything else does say how he died let me see one of these guys was found dead in a florida

hotel room the 38 housekeeper dude you know those house keys anytime i've been high on drugs or whatever that's the scariest thought is like that that's who's gonna come in and think about that they're a mom they're a person too you know and you know it's not like they can just put you you know sweep you up and then you know i mean they gotta probably like rope the room off now now they got one less room they're they're being able to rent out they've seen some housekeepers have seen some shit yeah we need to get a good housekeeper on here shon housekeeper i always thought dude a book i would read tomorrow is a book just from anonymous housekeepers talking about weird things that they've walked in and found in hotel room bro i'll tell you one right here

and r.i.p vince and jackson man and uh and just so sorry brother yeah i mean i just can't imagine him getting stuck inside of his own head and thinking he probably couldn't say anything to anybody but how fast do you have to be drinking for alcoholism to progress when you just played football five years ago i feel like that's pretty quick yeah because to kill yourself with alcohol usually takes quite a long time right maybe i mean i mean but i would just i would speculate he probably couldn't be drinking as much during his career so that's what i'm saying like daddy kid from hometown who just died this young fella named court uh name after the play space you know yeah and he died and he just drank himself to death i mean just crazy and when i think about

him like man yeah he was always drunk every time i saw him like yeah that kind of stuff just doesn't end well man and um i'll tell you this so one time i had i was doing comedy somewhere and a girl that i've been seeing or some girl i just met or something uh and i ended up sleeping in the same bed right and i don't remember if we i'll probably remember but i just don't i'm either i'm not sharing if we had sex or if we just made out or just slept over i don't know i don't i don't know and uh uh but in the morning she had gotten her period you know while she was asleep menstrual cycle so she left okay yeah she left i don't know if you like i don't know maybe she won a grammar contest or something you know maybe she won a punctuation contest maybe she was

maybe punctuation fill had seen his shadow you know yeah and it was going to be uh just she was celebrating but um anyway so uh i i i went to the um the cleaning lady you know and i noticed all the sheets have blood on them so i should probably say something to clean lady it's just not a nice surprise probably to get so i went and the lady didn't speak any english and i didn't know what language she spoke because i hadn't i hadn't really met anybody that had spoken different languages so i'm literally like uh uh and i was just like making a bed like shape with my hands and then i was like like uh like i didn't know how to like i didn't know how to tell her yeah yeah so i'm like yeah that was pretty wild man yeah that was pretty wild i'll dude so here's

the story so i heard this story in our first start of comedy so there was a guy who was a headliner right and he said well i was doing a show somewhere i don't even know where maybe like rochester or sommer texas and he said after the show some hot girl came like beeline for me after the show because you know like at funny moments if you do the show then you kind of go to the bar yeah you know and so you migrate especially when like you're just coming up it's like where you go to like show your feathers see sell some mercy if there's any ladies and you're at the bar and you're pretending that you're like not noticing who's coming over but you know oh you're heavily noticing yeah and if nobody comes over it hurts a lot so anyway this guy says i'm at this i'm at

this this lady comes over she's like be lining for me she's like really hot she's like really coming on to me and immediately she says let's go back to your hotel oh she says let's go back to my place and the guy's like man you know he's thinking i gotta leave in the morning or whatever you know let's go back to my hotel it's close so they go back to his hotel and they're kind of kissing and making out a little bit and like she's like all over him and she's acting kind of crazy and she keeps saying let's go to my place let's go to my place have some drugs at my place so finally uh it gets too much like the lady's just being like way too crazy and the guy just kicks her out says look you gotta you gotta leave you know like this is just i don't know what's

going on you gotta leave so when she's leaving out of the hotel she sees the feature that was working there right i guess he's coming in you know doing whatever he's been doing eating hot dogs so she runs into him she says hey that guy just kicked me out do you want to come back to my place and the feature is like yeah oh yeah you know this is better than the four hot dogs out of state right so anyway next thing you know they're in a taxi they get dropped off it's like about a 15 20 minute drive it's kind of like out into the burbs you know out into the woods they go into the house um they lay they like she like takes him into this room kind of takes his clothes off and stuff um and they do some pills they do some type of a drug right and then she like handcuffs him to

the bed and starts giving him a blowjob well uh she passes out in the middle of the blowjob so he doesn't know what to do he's handcuffed to the bed right he's like what am i even gonna do this before a cell phone so he's like holy shit i don't know what to do like i can't even call 911 some headlights come across the house like somebody pulling into the driveway oh no so here's the front door open a man comes an older man comes looks in the room sees him there comes in picks the girl up takes her out of there then goes into the kitchen like makes himself something to eat right the whole time this dude's freaking the fuck out right losing his mind he then the guy comes back into the room and says this is what he this is what he said he goes um

that's my daughter right oh no no no and uh and i never want you to come over here again right then give the dude a blowjob brah the guy did the dad give the dude a blowjob right there there on his penis brah and then then this is the crazy part uh took him drove him to a pay phone and dropped him off and the dude called the headliner said hey man i need you to get in a taxi or something and come get me i need some help and so he got in a taxi to go get him and that's where he was i mean that's the story he told him when he got in let me tell you something first of all i mean that dude takes his job as a parent a little too seriously you don't gotta pick up where she though you know what i mean like it's not nio you like you you know

this is where he uses spanking yeah i mean you don't have to pick up the blowjob for your daughter brah was he like what were you doing blowjob all right like it seems like you know what i mean that's probably didn't need to that's a gnarly story i've ever heard yeah but let me add in my second question is man why is this dude getting hard for for dad like that seems like it could have been out of fear fear hard a fear heart a fear boner i think can you get erections out of fear will you look that up please sean i'm sure some people love that do you know that there's a whole uh porn site where people like to masturbate but they use tears as lubricant oh my god that is like the to me that's a different let's like it's recycling but it's yeah yeah it is

i like it it's environmentally i like it but like here we go an individual has a condition is a fallow phobe the term is derived from the word fallow in greek meaning penis and at times denoting masculinity dude couple with the suffix phobia so you said penis there was a guy who played baseball against us when i was growing up his last name was pe n n i s oh wow penis but not in high school your name wasn't penis no no it's a tough yeah man i also had a kid in my high school named brian o brian and when he used to walk down the hallway we'd go brian o brian and he was like fuck you and we'd go brian oh brian we had a neil mcneil i was like your parents just like are not they don't like you or like yeah that's too much you can't name your kid neil mcneil yeah sometimes

neil mcneil yeah that's too much dany dany we had a guy named dany dany in our town we had we had um a couple their names were jerry and dolly jolly oh yeah yeah but some families they like that ronnie name you know where they name all their kids like a j oh yeah we had one we had ronnie uh ronnie donnie johnny lonnie and uh wait ronnie bungee bonnie no it was all men ronnie donnie lonnie johnnie and tommy no it had n n i e and it was not supposed to be oh yeah like a made-up brownie yeah like yeah like sonny or yeah yeah where you're like that last one you could tell who was born last you're like we ran out of yeah like oh that last one's a risk you know when um you know i got grandkids right and so when my oldest son was like you have to pick your grandparent name

damn you got grandkids bro i got four grandkids bro what you didn't know that we must protect this house bro i can't believe you have four grandchildren my oldest son is 28 man you know i didn't know that you know he just he had to he got medically he got med boarded out of the army in december like he's just medically he can't do it anymore um and so but he's been living in fort hood in texas he's moving here really yeah man yeah yeah yeah yeah so the grandkids will be here uh he and his wife are divorced so we'll see them some but when he called and asked me he was like man what do you want your grandparent your grandfather named to be i said can you give me to tomorrow and he said yeah nice good call so choose immediately well i needed to think it out you know and so

beth went with uh bb because both of us were like if somebody calls me grandpa at the park i'm not looking yeah like yeah do you know what i mean oh totally i can't go with grandpa yeah so it's like if somebody else faggot yeah you're you're you're stay focused don't turn just stay in your lane bro it ain't about you but when so he okay he calls the next day and beth goes i'm gonna go bb that was my great grandmother's name and obviously her name is beth and easy for the kids to pronounce bb so my son goes what do you want your grandfather named to be i said uh lebron and he went what and i go how cool is it to go to bb in the bronze house yeah bb in the bronze house sounds like a place sounds like a cartoon yeah i want to be

and plus i just wanted to be at a park and hear a kid go lebron because you know everybody's gonna be like get the you know what i mean and to have me run up and so he said to me he was like you can't i'm not letting you do that i was like and he asked me he said is everything a joke with you i was like yeah are you new like you've been in this family for you thought i was gonna pick like papa or some shit like that like will it be a secondary when the jj's kind of cute i went jojo jojo's good we're bb and jojo oh i like that yeah we're like an old jasper when he was gonna die at a plane crash or somebody chokes on a sandwich i feel like yeah yeah it also kind of sounds like a sandwich the bb and jojo sandwich yeah i like that i like bb jojo do you see what's the uh thing

that happened in uh texas with that governor did you see that the mayor wrote that note texas mayor tells residents can you zoom in there you thank you uh let's see by tuesday morning the residents of colorado city texas were getting anxious more than 24 hours had passed since a deadly arctic blast knocked out power across the state residents turned to a community facebook group to ask whether the small town plan to open warming shelters while others wondered if firefighters could do their job without water colorado's mayor chimed in um less than comforting message he said no one owes you or your family anything mayor tim boyd wrote i'm sick and tired of people looking for a damn handout what uh that the lazy residents find their own ways of procuring water and

electricity immediately drew backlash later on tuesday boyd announced his resignation and admitted he could have used better word how do you procure electricity like what right okay uh i'd like to have one of the worst winter storms in decades is testing the limits of the embrace of self-sufficiency and rugged individualism in texas so it's a good question man like i don't know you know i was thinking about this the other day um so will you grab me an extra water but you know thanks man um how would you do survival well i was thinking about this the other day so i'm talking to my friend in in louisiana and he said oh there's rolling blackouts so some friends are coming over tonight because we have power tonight right i said okay that's

interesting so it made me think like what if the power company i'll take the death so thanks brother so what if the power company like like the power company's not a guarantee for like it's a it's part of society that we've gotten to we're lucky enough to have like this thing this structure you know but yeah like what if it went out like so i don't know where this mirror was coming from i mean that's probably certainly the best way to word things if you're the leader but i mean if it's people sitting in a home they're freezing to death yeah and it's you know at some point you have to start a fire for yourself or you have to go to somebody's house that like you have to also take action true but you don't want your leader to be like every man

for himself that's basically not the message you know what i mean but that's a great point you know your leader is supposed to be your leader let everybody else panic but if you're panicking it's it's over you know but it's one thing to tell people to get water because there's snow outside so you know there's moisture you can figure that out procure your own electricity look i mean i wouldn't even if i went first of all i'm out of the google procure i don't know exactly what it means i think i do i think it's how you treat ham yeah go back to the uh at least 10 deaths in texas have been linked to the winter storm since monday according to used to chronicle so yeah i mean it's wild i think i think maybe this guy was probably just upset about other stuff and probably

attached it to this yeah but if you were gonna procure your own electricity what would be your first move i probably get a generator gas power generator oh or i would start burning stuff i mean it's tough that's one of the things burn it outside because the the storm is obviously gonna well it's a good point but you can't burn it inside either because of the gas yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean so the heat that's the thing that i i don't know exactly how people were doing it unless you had the generator right so yeah i think that's a good point so i guess maybe they're thinking yeah fine other people that have generators i it's also tough with this kind of article you don't know if people's cell phones are still working you don't know if the

roads are able that people can drive on um i wish they knew they would say what set this man off but yeah if you're the leader i think you probably got to find a better way to lead yeah you can't you can't come out and be like hey you pussy procure some electricity i'm like well i don't even know what that means man i don't have any electricity to google procure so you're gonna have to break it down for me a little better yeah but if you're in your house yelling first help but you also have legs at work it's like then that's on you also but i think one of the big issues we have in america today Theo is that people have forgotten that two things can be true at the same time yeah two things can be true at the same time you know whether you're

talking about this pandemic where two things can be true at the same time do masks cure everything nah they don't you can still get it if you have a mask yeah but is it possible that they help yeah right so there's two things people are saying you're yelling at each other and both of what you and i are saying are the same are true do you know what i mean it's possible for two things to be true this also should you wait to die no but is it up to you to procure electricity yeah probably not not at first yeah do you know what i mean like so yeah that's the thing like we've we've lost the ability to go yeah that can be true what i'm saying is also true but that can be true also yeah there's no there's no room for two sets of truths right which most things have yeah most things have

two sides and most of the time both those sides have truth to them yeah that's why people are so it's so easy to to pick a side now right we're so tribal now it's not that there aren't we can't find facts there are too many facts available yeah so i can find a fact that'll back up whatever the fuck i want to tell you is true i can find a fact online an article online a news site online that'll back me up you know what that does that makes me seem smart that gives me a fucking hill to stand on so i never have to listen to you oh yeah do you know what i mean i just saw it online and everybody in your echo chamber says the same thing so it must be true but both two things can be true at the same time yeah that's a good point man ability to see um they just had

this UFC girl that lost her job did you see this this karano girl yeah man as a jew i think it's not good yeah what did you have any thoughts on it man look i think the equivalent it is a complete false equivalency of what she's making here a complete false equivalency the fact that she has said some things that upset people and they're going they're going after her online is not even close to what jews had to deal with in the 40s in germany oh yeah it's it's not even it's a however this is we we have to stop cancelling people for having different ideas and we have yeah that's it even if their ideas are wrong even if their ideas are deemed wrong yeah it's like it's gotten to this place where it's like if somebody because then you end up with a herd of

people who will just never say anything but they're angry all the time right and so it's nick cannon to me was the best example when i heard what he said i was like oh this dude just doesn't get it doesn't know yeah he's yeah he's just reading like some bad he watched some bad Malcolm Malcolm X he's regurgitating some some false narratives and i'm not saying Malcolm X is bad i'm saying he watched some outtake of Farrakhan or something like there's some videos that get passed around even by smart people that i know that i'm like are you seriously sharing this i dude i could not agree with you one that goes around it's like that oh uh white people are afraid of black people got in power that they would treat white people like they treated black people and

i'm like this is insane i haven't seen that one is that a farrakhan one yeah i think it was a farrakhan one but just some of the stuff that like i don't know just like it's just so like i don't know i just i can't believe some people would share some things that they share you know i just think this scene probably first of all unnecessary i think if you feel like you can't be heard which i think you can if you have if you have like it's not even if you're not like almost openly because they had that silence is violence thing like you're in BLM like if you're not openly liberal a lot of times i feel like you definitely get stared at for not making a lot of the same statements you know this here's the thing man but like we we're making people scared to speak so you drive people

underground yeah and when you drive people underground what happens is they get angrier and angrier and angrier and angrier and then it probably erupts in something like this and then some happens and then some happens and for me like look Nick Cannon was the perfect example when i read it i'm like this dude just needs to be take him to Auschwitz take him to the places that can show him exactly what he's not hearing about this history right and and by the way somebody did i think julian edelman the dude from the patriots jew i believe he's the one who took might have taken Nick Cannon Auschwitz and sat down introduced him to some rabbis and the rabbis were like here's the history of jews and Nick Cannon was like got it got it right

and um but we've stopped even allowing that julian edelman goes at nick right on twitter no we've stopped allowing there to be i've always said the number one way you learn something is by someone really showing you by hand yeah and instead of like people offering to do that now now they uh they take people's jobs away they denounce them they make them i don't know they like they i guess they cancel them like i feel like yeah maybe it's better if someone says i think you don't understand some things dude some people are racist and it's hard to get through there and some people are just ignorant to it and ignorant i don't mean that in a they're ignorant people but they're ignorant about this thing yes i don't mean that in a negative way

right so to me you know julian edelman getting in there with nick cannon and nick cannon meeting with rabbis that's education right and so what that does is when you cancel them you make them angry he hates jews more that it's their fault i lost my job right and he perpetuates it instead of that it stops there hopefully and so and a guy with a good with a loud microphone can be like hey this is actually the way it is now yeah there's some people i just don't think you reach uh and by the way from cool hand luke some people you just can't reach oh yeah so you so you get what you had here last week yeah um but but i think man that it's all about being able to sit down and talk to people yeah because canceling people gets it doesn't do well i think it's also losing

some of its appeal and it's making people really turn away from a lot of hollywood it's like so wait these people just cancel anyone who like and it's not in this instance you know i mean this is i mean you know it's like some of this seems pretty intense but she must have felt for a long time like she can't say anything she can't speak um look i don't agree with a lot of the things that she's posted and i don't think any of them mean that she should have been canceled off that show yeah i just don't think that that's the right message to send again when you're pushing a group of people underground because they think differently than you that is dangerous that's how you have uprisings that's how you get a bunch of angry people fighting back because whether

it's true or not look man it's perception your perception of how things are is your reality right whether it is reality or not right so if you have say two million people who feel like they're being persecuted whether they are they aren't and being pushed under the ground where there are they aren't it's going to bubble up there's no way for it not to yeah and so i just feel like we're going about this in the wrong way a lot of times there's some people who do deserve to get canceled oh yeah i think there's some people who yeah there's people who you know there's people all over the place that probably deserve uh probably is definitely some sort of can't some sort of reprimanding some sort of real yes action against them you know um

but it is it's definitely like it's become a place a lot of social media has become a place where you can't it's not even like it's like they group everybody i feel like there's a lot of grouping of white and poor white people that um they're all racist or they're all this way or they're all dumb or they're all ignorant it's like man it's so hard to be poor and white like don't you understand like i think it's hard to be poor dude and anything but why does one color of poor get treated differently by the media than another color does man that just baffles me sometimes well i just think that and i grew up poor too man like we grew up in no car and you know um i remember walking to school and we just rode our bikes and we had to borrow our car to go grocery shopping and

you know um i wore hand-me-downs because i had three of the brothers i wore damn i wore hand-me-downs until i was like 12 or 13 they started off as overalls and they finished his pants yeah man i i mean i didn't have like you know what i mean so i get it i just think that it's not that white poor people are treated differently i just think they're not portrayed at all like it's the and they haven't been for a while visually visually we're not being asked to feel sorry for or support that community yeah and i i don't know the exact reason for it man you know and i i think all media is unfortunately intentionally divisive because i think fear motivates people to do things more than anything else the thing that's going to motivate you to do something the most is for me

to get on camera and say hey everybody these people this group of bad people are coming to take something away from you something you already have nothing motivates you to do something then somebody come to take some shit i already have do you know what i mean that'll get you scared guns rights whatever it is you're coming to get think about this dude yeah think about the mask and i'm just using this because it's current and and for me guys i'm i fall right in the middle of it i wear it because i think i don't think i'm gonna die from corona but you know what i don't want whatever the fuck those people are having because it sounds terrible yeah two weeks of that sounds terrible yeah yeah i agree so so and do i have underlying health issues i don't

think so but i also know other people to do and the mask is no big deal to me but here is how crazy people get so it's all about um my rights my rights my rights right mm-hmm okay hey man make sure you put your shoes on before you come to the restaurant okay hey man make sure you put that shirt on before you come to the restaurant okay why because these are old rules nothing's being taken away from us i grew up with that i see what you're saying the rules that you i grew up with that so it just seems totally normal to me but why is it any different the so what i'm saying is if you said to me hey you can go into a restaurant with people wearing masks and no shoes or shoes and no masks i'd be like no shoes because i'm not gonna get a i'm not getting sick but it's just an

ir unreasonable law rule that was already there that we all already accept right but now that i'm telling you you gotta do it now it's my rights do you know what i mean yeah it's interesting yeah it's because you're taking yeah you're taking something away from me that i've always just taken for granted now obviously that's not the whole thing but that is got to do with it you're taking it from that's a part of it yeah that's definitely a part of a lot of things i think yeah it's like you're taking something away from me it's like yeah just think of the seat belt dude the seat belt is something the government makes you do because they're telling you it's better for you yeah i don't there's nobody like hey

me fuck you in your seat belts yeah you know what i mean i that kid they can't make me wear a seat belt well yeah they can't yeah and you've just accepted yeah it's just different man when you start to get things changed or taken from you that you feel like you should have a choice over it's it it'll fuck with you as an adult yeah it does i think and especially as you're in it as you become an adult because those are things you're used to yeah it's just like yeah and then you start to feel like if i lose this and it's gonna be other things and when does this kind of stop 100 um 100 percent yeah it's interesting with the mass thing man it's really interesting i think the tough part for me sometimes is when i have to be like in a doctor's office or in a place where

you have to keep it on the whole time and then it's like it starts to be like you lose the ability to you don't even feel human a lot of times yeah you're just like you're stuck in this thing and they're stuck in that thing and you're just kind of getting done whatever business you need to get done 100 and there's no value in like uh being like a human anymore and then i think you attach that if you then attach that to the fact that there is um you know that that the government is mandating it and that like you know it's uh instead of just letting the the disease pass through like herd immunity type of thing they're like trying to like mandate everyone's movements and everything it's scary for some people when the government starts to step in and tell you what

you should or shouldn't do my whole thing with this and basically whatever you want to use whatever example climate change or anything right i'm not very smart so what i do is i go okay what do the majority of smart people say if the majority of smart people were like hey if the majority of doctors said hey don't don't wear the mask i'd be like yeah everybody don't wear the mask and some say don't wear the mask but to the doctors that i've spoken to the majority of them are like yeah just wear the mask it's probably easier so i'm just listening to what the majority of people who are smarter than me think right well i'm gonna tell you right out you know what i know about the disease nothing i don't know shit about it i just know the same articles that you've read yeah so i just

ask people who are smarter than me and that's all i can do because i'm not that fucking smart so when i hear people like you know what it is dude come on man like you you know what i mean like it's tough to like yeah you muster on your face dude you know what it's tough to kind of get to that level and it's also like we're at an age where we are not like susceptible we're not like the primary candidate some people that are going to get injured or something um i do think it's crazy sometimes how every place it's like lock up the gram i was like put old people on the side and i think open things up and let people live their lives it's crazy to me how a place like tennessee will be open in a place like los angeles will be closed i know there's a lot more people in

los angeles yeah but it's still not like it's rampant in tennessee you know i think the problem has been we're all we're all you know you go back to it if i we go back to talking about the kids if we all consider us kids right consistency there's never been a consistent message yeah which has sowed basic distrust into now every but since there's never been a consistent message and it's never been consistent in the places in the country everybody's like well nobody no shit so i'm coming up with my own idea you know and at this point we're too far in to shut it down again oh i agree with that you know what i mean i agree with if it was gonna happen it's everybody should have been put their big point pants on for those first two months but after the first two

months it's out there but i feel like the first two weeks everybody was locked up you know maybe they weren't me what maybe they weren't i don't know you know what's interesting man for me it definitely feels like to me that things should be open and we should keep real good care of our senior citizens give them some money so that they're able to take care of themselves yeah and let everybody else go back to work man that's what it feels like to me i i talked to my dad can i tell you what my dad said yeah he's 83 and um there's a couple months ago and i was and he's you know my dad is a my dad is the most honest moral ethical dude and um but i asked him i go so uh what you think about maybe we should just start the economy and i'm thinking about maybe hitting the road a

little bit i just need i can't not work that i just i can't go another year with not working and i could hear him just steam it and i was like what's going on and he said well let me ask you something have i lived my life pretty well and i go yeah and he goes i raised my kids and i'm definitely not at the beginning of my life is that right and i said yeah and he goes so i because you can't figure out your shit i have to live the rest of my life indoors is that you're telling me i don't deserve the respect like i haven't lived my life i didn't the rest of people my age we didn't build this country for you guys that we have to live our last years indoors because you can't figure out how not to go to a fucking bar on a friday and i was like and i said i completely

understand that i go but what about the small business dude in new jersey who's been shut down for seven months and he goes no i get that he said but you can't just open it up wide we got to be smarter he said because i don't want to die in my house yeah and i was like i and i couldn't remember how we were talking about two things can be true at the same time yeah i couldn't argue with that do you know what i mean yeah no yeah it's tough to yeah what are you gonna say to that man so like you're not his life is his real his reality and it makes perfect sense yeah yeah yeah yeah um so for me i'm with you like we just got to figure out a way you can still be smart you know those 27 man orgies maybe stop there's been a couple of those you see really getting

busted all men dude there was 125 man there's dude a pilot a 25 who's in show up yo a 25 dude orgy that's a lot yeah there's a lot of ticks to worry about man that's this one this guy got caught sneaking out of the back oh definitely he did he got caught sneaking out of the back of a 25 due to orgy because he's an anti-lgbtq politician from hungry but he got he got so he's anti-lgbtq and he got busted and that's always how they do it yeah coming out at 25 guys first of all hey guys wear some dicks where yeah how do you pick your 25 you know what i mean like how do you pick and is 25 the limit there's two of them right there in the distance right there yeah this dude now that's a lot of men are you know without ladies out there we gotta at least

let the ladies loose man this is look at this guy it looks like if i'm picturing 25 dudes who look exactly like that dude right there you know what i mean just oh man just playing fucking booty of darts this dude this dude when he has sex he his face gets sweaty oh yeah there's no doubt this dude's face gets sweaty i bet he keeps his shirt on yeah i bet he keeps his watch on oh yeah watch what time is it time for me to keep fucking yeah but i think he goes when he goes sex he goes glasses off but he puts one monocle in yeah monocle sweaty face white t-shirt and socks yeah he should definitely at least sell merch they like how do you fucking that's the problem bro if you were elected official when you get busted

into sex crime sell merch you gotta merch it out man how are you all not selling merch i mean that seems like i mean what's the t-shirt you wear and come jumping out of a 25 dude yeah orgy yeah it's just like a bit a picture of you like leaving a house and it's like 20 25 sets of eyes and one of the with peeking out one of the window or how about i went to a 25 man orgy and all i got was his lousy t-shirt yeah that's the one to do it all right you win the shirt idea yeah let's bring up another news article what else do we have and then we'll finish up here man oh let's go with that uh logan paul what's he doing now did he sell his home does it say what does it say here he's zoom in a little thank you brother the pandemic has filled a dramatic new wave of

high-profile migration sending tech workers to texas wall street types to florida and youtube provocateur logan paul to uh puertorico paul an influence entertainers told his 2.8 million youtube described it was tuesday he was leaving los angeles and moving to the heaven on earth of dorado so to me this is a community about 30 minutes west of san juan has become a favorite spot of wealthy mainlanders to me uh this sounds like he did iowaska and just took off and went to puertorico making a choice here now yeah um i gotta tell you you know um i first of all love puertorico it's a beautiful place but i understand they have some weather issues down there where you might not want to build a super expensive home yeah because the hurricanes whipped

through there pretty good however um you know it's a beautiful spot oh yeah puertorico is beautiful man they got that three kings day tres reyes which is also a gang uh uh and part of america but it's crazy here in california paying taxes and for what paul said on his show impulsive the streets are not fixed homeless people everywhere a darth i'm surprised you knew that word but respect that logan well done a darth of unemployment covet not handled i don't love it yeah man there's a lot of things about california that lead it to that i think have led to some of its decline in some of our minds i mean for me number one was definitely taxes yeah i just didn't feel like paying taxes to uh just such a a place that it to me it just becomes so just too far lopsided just i agree

out for blood not as creative as it as i felt like it maybe once was um too much nepotism i feel like not enough chances for the regular person that's moving there um and i could be wrong i could be totally wrong but those are just thoughts that have been in my head no i'm not saying they're accurate for me uh the taxes i was like i i didn't mind paying the taxes when i knew what my taxes were going towards right why am i paying taxes and stepping over homeless people where not it's not just in one part of the city now everywhere why am i why am i meeting up yeah man they're making community yeah why am i paying taxes and it's so dirty do you know what i mean like if i'm paying this money so a lot of money yeah a lot of money then what am i getting from it and i wasn't getting

anything and not only that man honestly it's like i said and i should have left a couple years ago i never felt like i was really part of the cool kids and i felt like i feel so much more creative and relaxed here because i don't feel like competing all the time oh yeah i'm not waking up wondering what other people are doing or a great point you know what i mean yeah that part of my day is gone it's like i'm just a little creative and maybe i can spend some time taking care of myself yeah um did you wake up also and worry about what other people were doing and what other people i just found like i'm i'm like why am i in my own head competing with these people yeah we're not competing do you know what i mean right i haven't done that here yeah i think uh i think well i still

i still have my apartment there so it's like and i'll probably go back and spend some time there especially with as the summer comes back and um and it's a nice you know to get to the beach and also to do do podcasting and stuff like that but it's nice to not have it just never felt like it always felt like work it felt like the second i got off the plane i was at the office i just like man i'm at this and then if i was if i was home for two weeks i'm at i'm just in an office for two weeks rather i'm sleeping i'm at the my bed at home or anywhere i'm just always like this never-ending buzz of uh of office stuff and then i i really feel like some of the creativity there has they've it's been so separated it's like so second third fourth generation just people getting

opportunities on their name and stuff that they've lost sight of like a lot of the not only lost site but kind of separated themselves from a lot of the places in america where a lot of good storytelling comes from and like um you know and a lot of creativity like creativity is kind of a group process you know and when you when you really minimize yourself to very you know kind of narrow lanes of okay thought i think and i'm not saying that they're right or wrong but it it very much leaves you in this place where you can't really tell a joke if there's no if there's not a wall to bounce it off of sometimes and it's like they just have created this place where i don't even you see some of these new comedy shows and comedy specials and it's like there's not even any jokes

in it it's not comedy no it's not it's not comedy it's crazy and i don't know how they get out of that how they get out of this like spiral of oh you're worse than i am you're you messed up you messed up you messed up you're bad you you know it's it i i think podcast has helped stand up more than anything yeah because no doubt it's allowed god man right because people have gotten used to remember when people used to talk to us about jokes per minute we got to be there's not enough 70 jokes per minute yeah there's none of jokes per minute in that story you're like oh but i'm telling a story like it's got to be so i really feel like it has helped but i think what started happening in LA for me anyways is that everybody kind of looked at joe or segura or you or burt

and it it um the path to success started to become very repetitious very copycat and so i think a lot of the creativity had it's like you know a couple years ago maybe 10 years ago everybody who left new york comedy scene sounded like a tell everybody had his cadence yeah do you know what i mean yeah because they were ripping it off but he who is that big of an influence right and so i think there's so much of the influence from the top that creatively a lot of the stuff that's coming out is starting to look the same we haven't had that next wave of who's doing something different interesting you know what i mean so right and i wonder if there's and maybe something different does come out of a lot of this it usually always does yeah i think so

i think right you're right um josh wolf he's got a new special on march fourth streaming it live one take dude dang that's risky bro but it's gonna live for a week uh so if you get the if you can't watch it on thursday march fourth uh to live for a week on that link it's only ten dollars we're trying to it's a great deal yeah and we're upsetting the apple card here everybody i like it i like somebody changing the game and if this goes well and who knows we could all be doing this so that's exciting yeah man and you get to set your own price it lives for as long as you want it to live and then you own the material so you get to do what you want oh i feel you man i feel you man i have a special with netflix but then after that i think i would i think this might be the future

you know yeah and it's nice to see you uh you know neil armstrong and out there man yeah comedian josh wolf dot com everybody don't pay no attention to that picture i'm gonna have to get a new one holy shit we'll see you guys now i'm just on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be cornerstone oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this piece of mind i found i can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself on one shine that light on me i said and tell you my story shine on me me and i will find a song i will sing it just and i've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my hands and these wheels that i've been riding on they want something

that's a damn they're gone i guess now they just work