This Past Weekend - E332 Christmas Friends
Episode Date: March 31, 2021Theo talks about living in a new home, a recent stand up set, and takes some suggestions of senior quotes for last weeks caller Zachary. He also checks in with a single mother who was nominated by a l...istener, and takes voicemails from some people struggling with some issues. Music "The Come Up" - Eddie 9V https://linktr.ee/Eddie9V Support our sponsors: The Zebra: For Insurance in black & White https://TheZebra.com/theo Fabletics Modiphy New Merch: https://theovonstore.com​ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to tpwproducer@gmail.com. Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza 1811 pico boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles
Gray block get that hit her
And they used to have a big girl bus. They called her clutch
That's what they call her because she was
Conceived in a
Standard vehicle, you know
so
That's how that works, baby
Good to be here, man. I'm just an egomaniac with an inferiority
complex
And I'm just trying to come up who isn't
Oh
Come on does the come up with Eddie 9 V
I'm gonna come up. Yeah, it feels so good to have a brand new view
Oh
Well, I just broke up with my baby
Just moved up to Lucky Street when I made a game and said to me you're on the comma. Come on
You want to come up, baby?
Oh, and it's plain to see between you and me. We got so much love and in chemistry
It's gonna come up. We're good things keep on coming
There you go good things that keep on coming and not ain't gonna keep on running
I'm gonna come up and
And that is Eddie 9 V they call him Eddie 9 V and
People look at Eddie and they say well damn man
And that's Eddie 9 V
Good to be here, man. I'm alive. You're alive and what's going on it is
Hell, it's March. It's the end of March. It's 2021
and a lot of people didn't think this was gonna happen and
I'm not naming names, but
Mayans dude
So if you know any Mayans out there Maya
Who they got Maya Rudolph Maya and Angelo?
There's a couple of Mayans out there still remaining and they don't believe in the calendar. So must be nice
Must be nice Mayans
So just somebody invite you over and you say well
Yeah, I don't believe in you know, oh Friday doesn't exist. So I'm not gonna be there
Or somebody says hey come to my birthday party and they say hey, well, you know the world ended 11 years ago
So I'm not bringing a present
You know, that's the most Mayan shit ever, but that's that's so Mayan
How is that not a TV show?
That's so Mayan
And we can actually get to the bottom of what these Mayans were saying
Because the Mayans I
Mean whatever I don't want to give them any more credit, but you know what they did
They sold us short. That's what they did that song again was called the come-up
with brighter days by Eddie 9v and that's a nice tune right there and
you know, um
What's going on what's going on in your world? We got a nice episode for you today. I
Want to continue to suggest to people that they send in unique videos and things that they want us to discuss on here
Also on Theo Vaughn.com is where you can upload the video or you can email it to TPW
producer
at gmail or
Gummail.com right there, so
What's happening well, and I'm in the original studio, baby, let's go
So if you need me I'm right here knock knock who's there moi baby French me daddy
Cuz I'm he I look I'm I'm you know, I'm multi
You don't have to be in one place anymore
When I was young yet to be in one place
If you wanted to you know, if you wanted to talk to a man who sold matches you had to go he was only at the match shop
or if you wanted to
see a man about a
You know a cantaloupe or a horse or anything if you wanted to talk to a
You know somebody that sold belts
You know or outdoor equipment yard seating
Then you needed to go to a specific spot and meet him
But now
People can be anywhere you see how I just did that I'm in three spots daddy
I'm in three spots right there if you're looking on the video
Yeah, nice to be our did some comedy last night
Got up out there at um
At uh, they had a place over in Los Angeles. It's like between two buildings and it's
You can hear people
You can hear
I'll be honest you can hear gay dudes swallowing pills right on the other side of the fence. I mean it's uh
You know there's a lot of that kind of activity, you know outdoor
barbiturate use
And a lot of man trying to say they're just being a little bit more aggressive
And a lot of men trying to say they're just buddies, but they're also
You know one of them has a condom in his sock
so
You know what they call they used to call it Christmas friends
When I was growing up they would refer if they if they had men
When I was growing up they didn't have but probably maybe 70 or 80 gay men
You know overall
Okay
and so
You know you didn't there wasn't a lot of now there's a thousands, you know, you have gay you have gay pride parade you have
you know gay uh
You know you have bath houses you have um
What do you have you have uh, kathy griffin you have all of the
You know everything you could want you got um
You know you got little
You know sex toys and stuff where you could also do a little bit of coke off the end of it, you know, they got everything that
You know they got man, you know every
You know they got swing sets that uh vibrate they got everything you could want for gay culture now
But when I was young they didn't have that
And sometimes you would see men
Being with other men and they called it christmas friends. Oh, that's those guys are christmas friends
Or they would say oh them boys is uh
You know, um, they said there's oh those boys are brothers, you know, they tried to trick you if you were a kid
And they didn't want you knowing that gay existed
Because that was kind of the time I grew up and they didn't want everybody knowing that gay was a an option
They were it was still kind of under wraps. It was
kind of covert
You know, it was like, um
You could it was it was available, but it wasn't readily available
It was like these top shot mba basketball cards. You got a
If you're not on the website at a certain time, you're not you're not going to get it
And that's kind of how it was with gay back then
And
You know, it just wasn't readily available so
Every now and then you see men and they and your your parents would say oh those those guys are those those guys are unique brothers
Or those guys are cousins, you know, and you'd be like, well, they're cousins. That's
Why are they?
You know wrestling and kind of kissing and that you know in the front of that
In the front of that, um, Pontiac
And nobody had a lot of answers for you. But anyway, that is the come up
by eddie nine v
and um
What's going on in my life, man? Oh, yeah, I got into a new home
And it's kind of like I never
You know, I went out of town. So I you know, I'm back here in Los Angeles for a week and so I'm like, whoa
Oh
I literally was leaving the house and I was like, well, who
Takes care of the house while I'm gone
You know who watt like is is everything okay, I literally like looked I was like
You guys gonna be okay. And I'm just like talking to the furniture. So I just
It was kind of nerd just I don't know. I didn't think about
Who is taking care of the home?
Well
Because I never owned it
So now I'm just like, okay every you know, I'll open up the cupboard. I'm like, all right, you guys be good, you know
And it's just like a little spice rack in there or you know some time and some um
Uh, what else they had in there cinnamon
So
Um, but that's been kind of interesting just kind of feeling that out, you know
Uh, I can't decide if I want a hat on or off, you know, you ever feel like that
I get like that sometimes
You know a hat is just a little apartment for your head really
And that is uh
That's legitimate
What's going on? Yeah, a lot of neat stuff. Yeah. So if you have some cool stuff, send it in. Um,
We're gonna get into some things on this episode
uh
What's happening
What's happening kind of like what happened this past we kind of did some comedy sets over there. That's what I was telling you about
I did some comedy sets over there in
Uh in los angeles
And they had uh
You know, it's I don't know I got in the argument with this one not a argument but like
a confrontational
Moment kind of I guess
um with this one female comedian and she uh
I don't know. I've never seen this woman
Seemed like she know has ever had an ounce of joy
In her being but um
Anyway, uh, she got on me like I don't have a mask on
I don't have a mask on and here's why because nobody has them on anymore
That's what I'm saying and I'm not I've now spent time in national I spend time in los angeles. I don't see them anymore
People don't gots dumb
Um, and so that's like well, you know, so she gets on me and she's like kind of like oh, you don't think we should be wearing masks
You know, and I'm like, I just
You know, nobody has meanwhile
There is a
I don't want to say homeless guy, but a guy who
Duh, you know
This dude is not
This guy hasn't been in a laundry room. I bet him probably a year and a half
And he's defecating bro
You know what I'm saying
Making freaking body rope dog. You feel me
You know what I'm saying serving that booty isthmus. You know what I'm saying, bro
This dude was making them freaking dirty. Florida's just rolling out of his boot
And so I uh like nine feet away from us
And this lady's giving me a hard time
so
But I stood my ground baby and let my yapper shine
Um
So that was it. It was a little conversation. It was kind of exciting though. It was kind of exciting
Um
I got to be in a tesla
I got to be in a tesla
And that was interesting because
I'd never been in there
And it's real
Quiet
I almost felt like a snail like a snail like if you're in his little cage or whatever
um
You know where his butt. I don't know. What is that thing a snail has his butt?
Oh, I never even thought about that
That a snail is just just you know, he's just scooting around with his big butt behind him really
With him apple bottom jeans, baby
And he scoots with the freaking fur, bro
the um
Snails got that freaking peach on him boo boo. You know it
He's got that booty
Uh
So anyway, I got to be in a tesla. That was interesting. It yeah, it doesn't feel
I like I like I like a little gasoline beneath me
I like knowing that if somebody mishandles a cigarette in the vehicle we could all die
You know call me old-fashioned that's I like that. I just like something about it a little bit
I like when you get in a real classic vehicle and a classic vehicle is
you know, that's a
It's something people are basically hoping that
If their grandpa dies he gonna give them
That's what it is
and
Some of those when you put gasoline in them, it's like
You sit in there that thing my god
I mean you could feel the lord just it feels like the
You sit it feel like the lord's jerking you off, you know
Trying to bust you out at about just a dna level
Just really trying to just get you to skeet right out of your damn spine, baby. You know what I'm saying
Um
So
Yeah, so that was it
It was uh, it was interesting to leave. Um
A house is just interesting to have a home. It's kind of scary. I guess
I've always kind of thought of myself. I think it's kind of transient a little bit
You know and I kind of like being a little bit transient. I like having the ability to go
And to come you know what I'm saying boy
Just joking guys. Jesus man. Ha take care of yourself, man
um
But no, I realized that about I like my I like always having the ability to just kind of scoot off if I want to
You know less hooks in the uh in the fish
And I realized that about myself even when it comes to anything I always I like having one foot out the door
I'll be eating at the dinner table, but I'll be damn
If I don't have one of my legs all the way out the door
Or at least hanging out the window or something. I'll at least leave my shoes over there
Because I got one foot out the door. It's just the way I've always been kind of
You know, I think I just don't want to feel connected. I think sometimes that I don't want to feel connected, man
I want to but
Man
You know, it's scary how much connection can
Uh how debilitating it can almost be
How
Yeah, I mean it's a vulnerable thing just showing your glue to somebody just saying hey, here's the sticky parts of
Who I am
Does this work for you?
Does this work for this
Yeah, it's interesting man
It's really interesting
Having something that is
Is a form of commitment for me
Is uh is interesting
so
We got a good a good a good episode. I feel like and I want to thank uh nick davis the producer and
Sean uh dug in of it and riley mow and
Collin riner and everybody helps take care of this program
So what we got here
Is I'm having a little bit of that
Liquid death, baby. Hmm. I didn't know water could be I'd be honest with you
I didn't know water could have as much damn
Water in it
This water has the most water
per water
That I've ever seen man
Or been around. Um, we had a lot of people that submitted, you know, we had a young fellow last week that called in
He couldn't decide a senior quote
To leave into his uh
Yearbook
And yearbook man, I hope I have they discontinued yearbooks. I wonder that I hope not
Because yearbooks was that it was that end of the year thing
It was the last chance
For you to say what you wanted to say to that person
Hey jennifer, I hope you have a great summer. You got nice legs
Uh
You could say and sign it and then here's the thing you would close it and give it back to him
So they didn't know immediately where you signed
It was almost like a time capsule for
Guys who were afraid to say something to a girl
And now you had all summer you had all summer to wonder all dang
Does jennifer know
How I feel about her limbs
It was just different it was a different time
Or you'd write oh teondra good luck with the baby you could write stuff like that
Because where I'm from these girls got embryoed up, baby, you know
These things man
I don't know if you've ever been to embryo riddle university, but there was no this was no laughing matter, bro
These guys got embryoed up boy
Bitch better have my zygote
They was yo'd out baby these girls
Um
I never will forget I lost a spelling bee in fifth grade to a pregnant girl
God bless her. Helena was her name
Named after her grandmother who was also Helena
And uh beautiful girl not really beautiful, but nice girl with a baby so
You know when I had all you know, I had all these things that she was
Cheating or she had a baby in her. It's you know, she's running on
You know god puts an extra little batch of effort in you when you got a baby in you
You got a little brain powder flowing in your veins because it's but you got to make a brain
So over the first couple months you got little pieces of brain rolling through your body like tetris
And then they meet up in there in the baby's head
So I'm thinking oh this lucky broad the spelling bee came right along
You know when she was just kind of uh
Zygoned that goat, you know what I'm saying
In that first trimester dog
So I'm thinking every now and then they would ask her to spell this or spell that spell rattlesnake
You know spell shiffer rope
spell panty
And right when she was thinking that a little piece of that baby brain would get you know
Lodged in the back of her, you know throat
And that would help her
Uh get the word right
And I lost I lost on inconvenience. I remember losing on but
It was a good time, man. It was the goodest of times and it was the worst of times
Uh, we got some senior quotes that came in and so I want to get to some of those
Um, I want to thank everybody for hitting the hotline. 985-664-9503 people had recommendations
Uh for senior quotes
All right, I want to say originally we got this call from a man right here
And we're going to this this fellow named Zachary and let's get this call. Uh, so you can remember it
He needed a little help
Thank you. What's up? This is Zachary from Illinois
I'm a senior in high school this year and I'm in desperate need
Of a senior quote and I thought I'd do better to give me a senior quote than the Theo Vaughn
So if you give me a a funny one-liners, there you go
And there's Zachary right there who
Can't think of a sentence for himself and that's you know
That's a male problem
You got that sentence impotence dog
And look, I've been halfway through a sentence and I can't get it all the way up
I'll be honest
You know some of you just like hey, I love to
And you can't get it out or why don't
You
Or oh man, I I want to
And that happens atchery
But we got some great submissions people really wanted to uh
To offer some support for you Zach. So let's get a few right here. Here we go. This is uh from your boy pat right here
Let's hear it from white pat
What's up theo and team it's pat from colorado. I got a
Suggestion for our boys senior quote issue
Theo, I think you'll get behind this one a little bit business in the front party in the back
Four years at this school and I didn't learn jack gang gang. There you go, brother
And I remember doing uh mushrooms one time at school and
I remember thinking my shirt was a snake
Because I'd worn a felt made shirt made out of pool table felt they had a guy in our town for a while
His wife had died
and uh
And so he he was doing uh making shirts out of felt out of pool table
You know, they had a bad batch of pool tables in this town next to us called bogalusa, louisiana. Someone had made
Pool tables in the wood that they used had termites in it
And beautiful tables, but they're disappearing
You know, you could barely get halfway through a game a damn nine ball and uh, one of the legs be missing off of the thing
You know, and now you want one of the pockets is uphill suddenly
So, uh, this fella in our town got the felt off of the tables that green felt and made shirts out of them beautiful shirts
And he marketed it as christmas apparel
And um
And um
And so I got one man, you know, I was lucky enough to cop one of them
There's only probably about 11 or 15 of them
And I got one and I remember eating mushrooms and wearing it at school when I thought my arm was a snake
And that's one of the side effects of eating uh
psilocybe mushrooms, it'll snake your arm out
You know what I'm saying? You'll be sitting there in class and next thing you know
Your arm is eating a white mouse and you're like damn, okay
Okay, we are we getting
Viby today
Okay today the science lesson is in my brain
So I'm you know geeked up and uh, so I excuse myself from the classroom and I try to excuse myself from my arms
But you can't do that
So I went into the bathroom and I stayed in there for about four hours at school
In the bathroom and
Because I couldn't if things were a little more manageable in there
You know, you could pee or you could do the sink
Or you could you know
You got to meet everybody if there were kids you didn't know everybody has to bathroom
And so that was the beauty of being in there was you got to meet people you didn't know
We didn't know
But um
The weird part was when you'd be in there and they'd come back to urinate for the second time
Because on average people would urinate probably two and a half times during the day three times
And uh
So when you saw some guys for the second time they would that was a little weird
Because it's easy to kind of
Understand why somebody's in the bathroom one time. It's harder to understand
Why they're still in the bathroom hours later when you go back in
And they're still in there just doing toilet sink sink sink toilet
sink
So
But that was high school, man, but that's a great senior quote right there. Thank you very much. Little pat colorado pat dog
that mountain cat
Pat onward. Let's hear another one that came in right here out of someone
If you know what up, it's Steve out here in black mountain, North Carolina
What's up, Steve out of black mountain
and um
And i'll be honest. You don't see a lot of blacks in the mountains dude. That's really
You know a lot of black people I feel like are more
sea level
You know prefer sea level or just above sea level sea level is also can be I think dangerous for more african americans, but
um
Anyway, brother, thank you very much for calling in man gang
I have a uh senior quote submission for you
Everybody wants to contribute
However, nobody wants to be contributed to
You therefore the greatest gift you can give someone is to let them contribute to you
peace
Yeah, that's a good one man. That's a real thinker right there steve and I appreciate you
Yeah, I look I can relate to that. I want to be
I'm terminally unique
I want to be anyway. I want to be unique to a fault where it
It
Even at my own detriment sometimes I want to be it has to be my it has to be unique
to my own detriment
um
Yeah, it's hard to be want to be contributed to to just accept people's
Contributions, especially if you're used to handling things yourself
Uh, and that's a nice gift
Is to let somebody do something for you
You know, let somebody love you let somebody uh hug you
Look, you know
Let somebody have your last caramel baby your last uh
Butterscotch daddy
Thank you, steve. That's another great one you have right there. Is that your e onward?
Here we go
What up theo this is bunjo, uh
Well, maybe I'm coming from Croatia too. So what's up bunjo out of Croatia?
And that's Croatia for you dog. You can name somebody anything baby. It's baby. I mean, it's the damn white detroit, bro
You can name somebody tickle me out my dog
You know what I'm saying? You can name somebody sturgeon
I mean you can name somebody damn, uh
Uh, uh, motor cross you'll meet a fellow named motor cross over there
by the ocean by that slovak
Uh area onward
This is the wrong approach, but I remember I always used to sign this on people's yearbook as a quote
Uh, I just signed your track now. Let's smoke some
Um, I don't know. There's my quote. Thank you for letting me say that. Uh, and I love your show, steve. You're the man
Thank you bunjo, and I'm glad you're letting you guys make videotape over there and uh
In Croatia, baby, and you'd be good over there and you guys
Keep doing whatever you got to do baby to stay alive, baby
All right, and that is a good quote. Yeah, if you got a smoke crack, I never got to smoke crack
You know and a lot of uh people know that
You know, I never got to smoke crack in my life and I thought about
Sometimes I think about, you know, not being sober to so I could go smoke it
Isn't that crazy but
You know, we really should have somebody who was a crackhead or addicted to crack for a long time on here
To talk about that
And I would love to have Mike Lindell the Mike the my pillow guy
You know people don't know that he was a crack addict
And nothing will uh nobody
Nobody needs sleep more than someone who's been on crack for a few days. And so I'm not shocked really that the man
came out with that uh
That headrest, baby. You know what I'm saying?
That fucking synthetic goose, baby that rest piece that pillow dawg
Praise god, baby. Let's hear another one. Here we go onward
Yo, what's up, Rat King? It's uh Dillon from Mobile, Alabama. What's up Dillon?
from mobile
And mobile's a good place to uh
To kind of drink coffee and kind of wish you were maybe somewhere else. Let's hear more
You know that port city hitter, but uh
I think a nice senior quote would be uh
One of the teachers is having an affair with students or something like that, you know stir up some shit before you leave, dude
You don't even want to go at it. Amen. Make them wild
But uh
Shout out to you, bro. Uh
Funniest dude in the game
Hope you come back down here, man. I know he's in Biloxi for the dark arts tour. Hopefully you come back, bro
I love you gang gang gang, bro. Thanks Dillon, man. And yeah, I love uh, I got a uh
a step
step sister
Name holly that lives over there in Spanish Fort, Alabama
and um
I guess I don't know what it is. I think they had
I don't know why Spanish Fort is what it is. I don't know enough about it
But mobile's getting better the beaches. They're really starting. They're doing all they can to really beach it out
Um
You know, you'll see like a it's a it's a place you could kind of find a fuck you could find barbecue
Near a palm tree mobile's that weird. It's that weird little uh, it's kind of like a transgender type of um
Uh like land like, you know, it's beach, but it's country, but it's sandy, but it's um
tropical
um
There's like cannonballs like you could like, you know
There's a lot of like vague civil war gift shops, but you're not really sure
What it's for and they'll have like a seashell in it just a lot of stuff that doesn't
You know, it's a it's a hodgepodge if you will. Um
But if you get lost downtown, it's nice
And I got lost down there and I was really surprised at how nice it was one time
Um, but thank you for calling in dylan and that's another great great quote right there
Leave by starting something, you know
Say just be straight up man. Mr. Herbadas touched me once say that
You know say uh scottie used to bang this uh Randolph
Say, you know what I'm saying like lia leave a little bit of uh leave the light on for people
Hit him with that fucking motel six in their crotch, you know
say hey
Miss uh, jera folha
Was fine as hell baby. Okay, you know what I'm saying do a little something. I like your attitude start a little something
you know
Say, hey, I hid two hundred dollars and mr. Vleets Honda Civic
gang
Let's go
Uh, we got one more that came in for you. Let's hear it
What up rat king, this is brian calling from california
california brian
in california, man, it's a good place for somebody to uh
Uh get angry at you about not having a mask on while a homeless fella
Gives birth to them freaking but you know them rear body babies dog
Only six or seven feet away from you praise god. Let's hear more brian
Cisco bay area
I was calling because you were asking about a high school senior quote
And a couple came to mind when I was listening the first one is from the louisiana bad boy
The rat king mr. Theo von. I think it's words to live by
Right in there be good to yourself. You probably deserve it. Amen. If I could go back
Write those words
That's much better than whatever I wrote something stupid that I thought was funny at the time
But you live by those words and I honestly think that that's going to make you happier
Now the other quote probably not school
And that's true, man
You know, it's so funny how many guys I'll I'll run into and and and women occasionally but mostly men and
And we'll just share that back to me say be good to yourself
You know be good to yourself
It's hard, isn't it?
It's hard brian. It's hard to be good to ourselves
And I don't know if it's because we spend so much time around ourselves. I don't know if it's
That you got to be tougher on who you you know
But it's hard
It's hard man. So thank you for that. Well that well wish baby now. Let's uh, let's hear the other one
I think that that's going to make you happier
Now the other quote probably not school appropriate
But it was the clip you played after the high school senior called in
And some elderly woman was screaming at somebody and she said
If I want to fuck I can fuck
That ain't nobody business but mine
If your school will let you print it also
So good words to live by
But that's it man. I hope I hope this senior can find something good
I would go with the rat king
And uh, I hope you be good to yourself man
You deserve it
Gang brother. Thanks, brian. I like that second one man. I'm gonna play yours again
If I want to fuck I can fuck
That ain't nobody business but mine
There you go, baby
There you go
And we should start a senior yearbook for actual seniors. That's what it should be
Somebody should just make a yearbook of all the old people in their town and say this is our senior yearbook
And you go around and get them to sign it now
You know what i'm saying people be writing real stuff, you know
That would be amazing just to get you know
To really get on
To just really just to capture that last hurrah
And then you compare it
Or maybe like our high school should come back years later and get a quote later on
You know
That's what they should do
But those are great man. There's a really nice suggestions for zatch and I think that um, the good thing also is
that
Uh, we have a montage of other ones that came in and we'll put that on at the end of the episodes
You guys can check that out and and thank you for being a part of this past weekend and a part of um
A part of our lives here. I want to thank you for that
I also want to tell you right now about the zebra and about insurance or insurance
Look, I got it. I got into a home recently and I was like damn. I gotta what if everything burns down?
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Um
Man, I just can never decide if I should wear a hat or not ever get like that
You leave you put the hat on
You try it. You're like, oh, I feel like I just
I don't like having the hat on
So I'm gonna try the head off. I'm gonna try it backwards and you're like, oh, am I too old to have a hat on backwards?
You know, do I look like um
You know trying to sell
Sports equipment or what's going on and then you so you go no hat. All right. How do I do no hat?
Do my hair look okay? Do I seem decent? Do I seem clean? I always think that
Come on, mom will say you look dirty when I was young you look dirty
All right, let's get into a couple of uh of calls right here that came in and um, as always the hotline
985-6649503 you can submit videos on uh, thiovon.com
Here we go. Yo, Theo, this is Karl Lover
Stocksdale from Kentucky
Man, my little brother, he got me turned on listening to this past weekend. He ain't even saying just anything Theo Bond, you know what I'm saying
Well, praise god brother and thank you for uh
for reaching out from uh Stocksdale, Kentucky
and um
And I never been over there, but Kentucky I used to do steroids
and I know that uh
That sometimes people have done those also in Kentucky. Let's hear more
but
He's got a little problem with smoking. He uh devil's lettuce
You know, I used to do me pretty hardcore on all the dope
And uh, trying to get him to quit. He's got a good head on his shoulders
But um, he just tanked it. He just put it down
But that's gonna bring things
I mean, I don't I don't know. I I've told him everything cussed him
Been his buddy. I don't really know what to do
And I think if the fiovon
called it for some bitch and said hey man
Put smoking the dope killing your brain cells
He might actually quit. I don't
Well, look man, I'm gonna tell you this. I appreciate you. I think it's nice that you care enough about your brother to care about what he's doing
You know when it's hard at some age is because some age is people gonna blow their lungs out or blow their liver out
Or blow their dick out even sometimes if they'd be a nasty or whatever
Or they got AIDS or anything like that or getting AIDS
But um
You know
I mean weed is a tough one
weed is a tough one
because
You know, sometimes people just have to run their course with it
And it's safer. It's better than other drugs
You know, it's better than somebody doing a bunch of heroin or a bunch of um
You know cocaine or crack. It's better than that in the sense that it's
You know, they're more calmer and that's nice
But yeah, sometimes you want to get them off it sometimes you can lose a sibling or a friend in and they get real depth up
Then of the weed and they like a damn swamp. It's like talking to they still plan it out
You know, all they're doing is just kind of sitting there like a plant they kind of become what they smoke
They sit in there and they kind of are unique, but they really just a fucking plant
And they want water and then they uh
You know they um
And that's it man. They just want some water because they're so high
So I think here's one thing that I'd use to help quit. I just quit I quit smoking cigarettes, you know about almost a year ago now
Dude actually in April it'll be a year. Wow
And the thing that helped me quit
I was in kawaii man kawaii hawaii
And a man I met a man by a smoothie shop and he was a shaman
You know, he was off work
Smoothie guy shaman guy
And
Next thing you know him him and his old lady got me back at their joint
They got a you know kind of a low-key child care kind of center also, but they smoke they have DMT over there
And they had that five MEO
DMT that smoky treat baby that brain smoothie, you know what I'm talking about
That fucking turn your whole life into a damn skill crane, baby in the claw
The lord comes out and just picks things out of you that he don't want to be there anymore
And one of the things
That the lord's mighty arm picked right out of me was my desire to smoke cigarettes
My desire to smoke cigarettes because DMT I find it'll put the wheels on your once
Sometimes your very core has once inside of it it has things it wants to do
And they just it don't it don't have the wheels it don't have the downhill that don't have the gradient
But that DMT will get in there and do that dirty work, you know
It'll tickle your sister but buy her a house, you know what I'm saying it does the things that you can't really you don't want to do
And that's what it did for me, man. It got inside of me and I went from literally
Each day I'd be in my head like okay. Am I gonna and I wasn't a heavy smoker
But I'd smoke a couple at night
And I had a crutch I would smoke when I didn't want to that was it. I would smoke when I didn't want to
And anytime I had a problem or an uncertainty or a non-surity
Or anything I would just I would go smoke I would it became my god in a weird way when I had a question a worry a thought a concern of
Or a positive feeling. Let's smoke. Let's smoke. Oh, let's celebrate. Let's smoke. Oh damn bummer. Let's smoke
It became where I went when I had a feeling of any sort
So it was so nice when it disappeared. I mean literally
It just that that that five course meal baby that five MEO DMT just took it completely out of my
My history
And so that's what I think that that kind of stuff can do. It's that it's the librarian
Inside of you that we all need
So I don't know if that helps to suggest your brother smoke DMT to quit smoking weed, but
But also I think he has you have to want it
That's what I'm saying. I think he puts the wheels on your once
It it can happen if he don't wants it then I think it it won't happen
It has to be a want that's been that's been occurring in your in your background
You know, it has to be a want that's just sitting on the stem of your spine waiting for a ride home
But you you don't you don't have the power to make it happen
And that DMT does that dirty work. That's what it does. So I think that um
That that's a possibility, but sometimes you got to let people run their course with drugs
Uh, so but I'm sorry. I just think I think overall it's just nice that you care
What's going on with your brother at all?
you know
And I think I think things are okay in moderation if he can handle it
Uh, but if he wants to quit and he can't then that's when I think that um
That DMT could be an answer for and could possibly save y'all's brother ship
So
All right, we had we had uh, we had this video come in right here. Um, thank you guys for submitting this from uh tiktop
Let's go
My number one requested thing to cook catfish kubion. I'm hydrated. I'm motivated
Let's get it, dude. Okay, and here you got a man. This is a real out. This is like an indoor outdoor man
And this man is like a chef. Let's hear more of this and this guy. I see Louisiana flag in the background
He's a Louisiana guy. Let's hear it again
My number one requested thing to cook catfish kubion. I'm hydrated. I'm motivated
Let's get it, dude
We got a half a cup of butter half a cup of flour. We're making a blind colored roof. Let's get it, dude
Holy trinity and some garlic
You got your own y'all sweating down your head with your vegetable juice and your homemade seafood stock
You got until a rolling ball add your stew tomatoes and your tomato paste
bay leaves
green olives
fresh lemons
Add the creole seasoning you like a little two step
We let it simmer for 25 minutes and while we wait we hide great
Oh, that's alcohol. Let's parsley green onions pull out your lemons your bay leaves and lay down your beautiful
Louisiana blue cat
Hmm at this point. Don't stir just sink them down
Yeah, you can't see the video, but he's literally pushing pieces of blue cat down into the um
Into the sauce with a boat or
Amen
Catfish kubion a cracker. That's money, dude
There you go
And so this is a man. This is a Louisiana type man
You see some of this dude got an eight ball of lorry seasoning in his pocket, bro. You know what I'm saying
This dude or this dude will boil your sister's tits right here
This dude will straight up boil
Your sister's tits man. He's about that life, bro. He's about that fire that fucking, uh, tit right off the bone life, dog
That's who he is, bro
This is the kind of dude. He'll invite you over for a hot tub
You realize you in the hot tub next thing, you know, when onion goes by a lemon or artichoke goes by
And you realize you you're about to be lunch boy, you know, I'm saying this dude has alternate plans
Uh, what I love about this guy, he's one of those type of guys you see in Louisiana
He's very he's every neighborhood has this guy
And you need this guy this dude is the chef
By the week he works at the chase bank or he works over there at Whitney bank
Or reggions bank or whatever, but on suddenly the weekend hits
and he's do
You know what I'm saying? He's fucking he gots a bunting burner and he's grilling, uh, you know, he'll have a damn, uh
A cigarette lighter and be cooking up a piece of damn crab meat with it
You know, they get wild like that guys like this
And if you notice he uses all the vowels
In Louisiana, they got a lot of extra vowels, you know, you got a e I oh you yeah
three or
Oh
Yeah
Oh
Yeah
Oh
Yeah
I
Yeah, it's the kind of dude asked for a spice rack and a divorce settlement kind of guy, you know this guy
This the kind of guy he only have one uh hand
Because he probably was doing a boil one time and he dropped one of his um
He dropped his car keys into the boil and he reached in for him on accident reflexing
he did a you know, he just had a reflection
And
Now he only gots one hand, but it still works
So he's you know, he's thankful to god Brian all the swamp gods. So
Yeah, man, this is a good talk. Thanks for sending us in. Uh
And I will say this the food looks absolutely amazing
And I would try I might have to try this
Dustin uh
Poirier this looked like somebody this guy looked like he's probably in Dustin Poirier's family or from his neighborhood and I would guarantee that
So that's a little bit of Louisiana fire right there
All right, let's take another call. They came in right here, man. As always nine eight five six six four nine five zero three
Hey Theo, this is Chad from Chicago. Hey man, listen
I'm sitting here driving home from work and I'm trying to figure out
The answer to this question somebody asked me and they asked me
Do you think you own the clothes that you're gonna die in?
Not the clothes that you're gonna be buried in the ones where
when the when the grizzly bear eats you
What clothes are you wearing? And uh
I don't know. I don't know if I if I do or I don't know if I want to know if I do
Uh, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. I mean, I don't wear a lot of clothes
anyway, okay
Well the end part that's really
That's getting personal I think brother, but
Well
Let me think do you that's a good question. What clothes you want to
You know head on out in
What's that last hero for you for your body?
You know, when do you get, you know, because you got to give up the cage sometimes
I realize more and more recently that I'm a bird in a cage, man, despite all my rage, bro
I am still just a rat in a cage. Actually. That's what the man said, but
um
I realized that my body is just a thing that I'm in. I'm I'm in my head. I'm
Looking out of my eyes
That's where my spirit is. I'm
You know, my body is just this kind of like
It has this color and texture and
vibe to it and
You know, I got the rib cage of a damn large cat really but
You know, this is who I am, but um, well, I have the clothes that I'm gonna die
You know
It's tough, that's yeah, because who you know, they show up. They see oh, he died in that
Yeah, I guess I would you know, I have green eyes. I guess I would like to have like a green shirt on maybe or something
That's blue or gray, but
um
I don't want to have like somebody out like a you know, like a Darren sharper jersey or a marshan latimore jersey on
I guess in chicago. Maybe it's probably kind of cool if you die on like an urlac or jersey that might be kind of cool
um
So, yeah, I get I don't know. It's tough. It's tough to know what's the best thing to die in and if I own those clothes already
I guess you have to think of what when you're gonna die when is your year?
You know, I don't I go through phases
I go through phases where I feel like I'm gonna be really old and then I go through phase where I'm like, oh man
You know, I hope there's you know
Is this thing you're never gonna show up, you know what I'm saying? Like when I hear the doorbell. I'm like, oh, maybe it's the
Grand Reaper
Uh, so yeah, that's a good question, man. Do I have those clothes? I I I I you know what?
I think I do because I I don't wear a lot of different stuff. I'm pretty minimal when it comes to that
You know, I'm not like brin and chowb. He has to get like a new
You know a fucking new bat skin hat every time he goes to
um
Toledo or something so I don't I don't need all of that. I'm a little bit more simplistic
Uh, so I bet I probably do have it man, but thank you for asking
And making sure I'm okay. And if I have enough stuff to die in
Um, let's take another call that came in man. And you know what actually
All right, we got a single mom submission right here. Uh, that came in somebody uh came and somebody recommended this beautiful lady
Uh, and let's see this video game
I
Hey, this is travis
from the bay area
I just want to nominate my friend krista
and her three little hellion kids for the single moms
Um, she's a badass. Okay. Sorry. It's loud
I hear building a bridge
Oh, damn, and it's a bridge worker
If you can't see the video this man working bridge right here
And a bridge is just a road that's fucking brave as fuck dawg if I'm honest with you
Other roads look at a bridge and be like damn
I bet he gets all the
britches
You get it bridge bitches
um
But yeah, man a bridge is just really it's a fucking road with some bald baby gang. Let's go
Um, but yeah krista her three kids
She's uh put herself through school. She's put them through hell of sports and uh, she does it all on her own
So if you at least give her a shout out or anything, uh, that'd be awesome
Um, gang gang the ovan. You're the man, dude. Watch your show every week. Thank you. Oh, thank and later
Thanks, bro. Well, it's nice you to be thinking about somebody else today, man. I appreciate that out of you
Yeah, and um and thanks. Yeah, let's see if we can't call krista up and see what's going on. Um, okay. Yeah, let's do it
Yeah, yeah
Oh, what's up krista
Can you hear me? Yeah
Okay, hold on one second. I can't hear you. I'm not like a pervert or anything. I just
Um, this isn't like chat roulette or anything. I'm just trying to say hey to you now. I can hear you. Can you hear me?
Yes, okay. How are you today? I am doing well. How are you good? I don't want to let you know
I'm not like a weirdo. I'm not with the government or anything, but um
I was just calling you because they had a fellow
Uh, this guy
Hey, this is travis a guy named travis. Do you know him?
Yeah, I do know him. He's a white guy. He works on a bridge. Yeah
Well, he um, I work on a podcast my name is theo and I work on a podcast
And he said we do a thing sometimes where we where we reach out and do something nice for single moms and he said
Oh, well, I know this lady. She's a single mom and she works really hard and she has um, you know, three great kids and
I was raised by a single mom. So um, yeah every now and then we just try and like
Uh, just give back to the community. So we just wanted to give you a thousand bucks to go do something fun with your kiddos
Are you screened?
Yeah, I'm totally serious
So
We just thought it would be
It's just nice that he thought of you actually you could tell he must think pretty highly of you
So
My god, thank you so much
Oh, you're really welcome. Um
What are your kiddos like to do? What kind of kids you got anyway men or women?
I got two boys and a little girl
Okay, you got two boys and a girl
Yeah
Oh, that's nice. What ages are they?
nine seven and five
Oh
dang
Oh my god, I can't believe you're even alive then
Yeah
That's a lot of pressure. Yeah, my my siblings. We were all two years apart. Um
So it's like five clubs some days. Yeah, I bet it is like five club. We should start recording it
Oh, especially at bedtime
That's funny. Where do you work out? Are you working today? You off today?
I am working today. I work at um gi consultants and reno
Oh, y'all live in reno
Yeah, oh, yeah, boy. I've been over to reno. Do reno is a lot of a a meetings a lot of people donating blood, baby
Let's go
Yeah, dude. I've been to some meetings over in reno, boy
That's a wild place. So, um, have y'all lived there y'all's whole life
No, we just moved here. I moved here with the kids about a year and a half ago. Mm-hmm
So I just totally relocated us because it was getting way too expensive where we were in Santa Cruz
Oh, yeah, it gets kind of pricey out there, huh?
Yeah, so I just relocated us on a hope that everything was gonna work out
Dang
And how do you know travis? How do you know him?
Travis and I have known each other for
Let's see maybe like
Eight years. Mm-hmm
Yeah, we used to get in trouble together and now we don't
Yeah, I feel he's always he's always been one of my best friends. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's cool
Yeah, you can tell he thinks he must think pretty highly of you. Um, it was just sweet of me
He's sending a nice little video. So you'll be able to see it if if if he shares this with you one day
But um, yeah, but we don't want to take up a bunch of your time
we just thought that uh, it was just really nice of them and um
Yeah, I just remember when I was young if somebody would have reached out to my mom and just done something
Just a little extra sometime. Just just maybe take the edge off for a week. You know, yeah
Yeah, cool
So amazing
Well, look give travis a hug for us when you see him and uh, and um, yeah, what you're gonna go do go do something
Fun with the kiddos. What do they like to do? So my little girl likes to do a little or really anything and everything
But the boys are getting real into baseball. So I'm gonna see maybe I can find them
Some baseball league to do or outdoors. We're starting to get some nice weather
Yeah, that's fun. Do they play in any of those little leagues yet or no?
No, well, my son does junior my older one's done junior giants because it's the free one. Oh, yeah
So I've had him doing that because I'm like, well, I'm not gonna pay a bunch of money if you're not into it
I'd rather you not be into it if it's free. Yeah, we check out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh nice
Yeah, there's organized sports. I think it's fun. I think kids really dig that, you know
Yeah
They're doing really good. They are
Yeah, yeah, my middle one just decided to take a break from gymnastics, which thank god. It's expensive
So he's he's he's thinking about his life. He said to decide what he wants to do. Oh, dang. That must be nice
I was all damn you're seven
What do you have going on?
Well, I don't know, but I'm 41 and he and I apparently have the same thing going on. So
I can totally relate to that young fella
I'm like, you're gonna be doing that for a long time, buddy
You just take that curricular activity. That's all I need you to do. What do you feel like doing? You want to kick a ball?
Do you want to hit a ball? What do you want to do?
Yeah, I think the less thinking about it
He can do and it's the more doing it the better off he'll be probably right
Um, well, uh, thanks so much for answering our call today and uh
Yeah, my producer nick will follow up with you and you look lovely and it's nice to see you today
Oh, thank you
And um, and and uh, yeah tell uh tell travis. We said hey when you see him
I will I will
Okay, where's the take care. Have a good day
You too. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah, you're so welcome. Y'all have fun
Hey, send us a picture if you do something fun with the kiddo. Send us a picture. No pet
We ain't pedophiles or nothing with us regular people. I totally will. Okay, cool
Okay, thank you. Have a good day. Thank you. Have a good day. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye
Yeah, she seemed like a sweet lady, man
Yeah, I think just a little moment of reprieve for somebody
You know a moment of reprieve for her to just be able to think
You know just to be able to love your kids without that extra stress of
And I I'm not saying we're doing a ton. We're not changing anybody's life
but
Just have a moment, man
I don't think when I was a kid if some man would have come by or a woman anybody and I'm sure people do look the
The government does it, you know, you can get help and get assistance and we got all of that growing up and
Man, it just makes me feel
You know, it makes me feel
Grateful for time really
That time gives you the opportunity to go back and kind of see what's going on
So
Yeah
Time gives you the opportunity to kind of go back and uh
You know just sew up little
Tears in your own story
By using the thread of um
Of each other
You know in a weird way and maybe that selfish to think of it that way. It's not selfish, but maybe you know everything's selfish in a way
but it's just
You know, I don't know. It just makes me feel nice that uh
that
You know, there'll be a little extra opportunity for them to do something fun together as a family
Um, and thank you guys for supporting this past weekend. Let's get another call that came in right here, man. Um
And uh, what do we got here?
Hey
Dio, it's uh, Mike Ambrose calling from london, ontario
Uh, big mic out of canada dog and I don't know what y'all are doing up there, but
Shit if it gets weirder down here, bro, I might come up there and join your family. Let's go pop pop gang
up here in canada
I just
Love listening to your podcast, man. You do a great job. I mean a lot of emotions
Every single episode and you know, who doesn't love that
Uh, just you know, you know, maybe some tips you could help me out with uh,
then uh, semis, uh, professional baseball player for about, you know, four or five years now
Oh, yeah, and I know what you're saying. You mean doing drugs, baby. I feel you, baby
I used to say stuff like that. I want my semi pro ball player people are like, oh, you're doing drugs
So
But go on brother. I feel you
Um before that, you know went to college did the whole thing. Um, especially being from canada. It was tough
You know going over the states to play ball. I lived in australia for two years
Um time of my life, uh, but now, you know, oh, yeah and lived in australia
Is obviously another term for doing drugs
um
So I feel you baby the code language daddy, you know what i'm saying
Uh
Spending time at grandma's house. I know what you're saying, baby. Let's hear it. You know, I just this past december
Um, the 12th had a beautiful baby girl. Okay, you know, you got that offspring now, baby
You got that offspring now. You got something to worry about now. You got a real rock to smoke daddy. Let's hear it
and uh
She's been, you know, absolutely amazing, but I think it's time to you know, now
You know turn the page and start that family life. I just wanted no, uh,
Your thought you think I should just keep it keep it buzzing or should I uh, you know staying it and
Hang out with the two ladies of my life, uh
Keep it buzzing. What are you talking about son?
Okay
You live in canada brother. It ain't it ain't but you know what i'm saying the buzzing
It ain't that insane
You know what i'm saying you would I mean
You know as crazy as it gets is kind of ice cream, you know what i'm saying like let's don't be uh
You can't keep it. What are you gonna? You have a child now. What do you mean? You're gonna keep it buzzing
What are you gonna do?
You're gonna keep playing pro ball daddy. You're gonna keep smoking rock
Huh, you're gonna keep using
You're gonna take care of your wife and kid man
If it's your wife, I don't know
You didn't say he wasn't married up or you guys and it was nuptialed up
You know
And maybe the dope haze has been too heavy in your daddy
But I believe that it's time. Yeah
If you got something living that came out of your wiener, you got to take you got to take care of it, baby
You know and I love you mic and I feel like
You know, I don't want to be the one to
You know serve you the cold cock, baby
You know, but consider me that freaking um that matron dick. You know what i'm saying i'm that head waiter, baby
And i'm serving you that cold cock a truth dog
And the truth is yeah, there's no
You know
You got to you got to settle you got to tighten it up
You can't be sleeping in your car doing canadian drugs
Even though they're cheaper
Um, you know when you get them directly, you know, we don't have to go through big pharma, but anyway, man, um
Yeah, I wish you the best of luck brother. I really do and I hope you definitely
You know, you get it figured out up there. Praise god, baby
Okay, let's take another call here. Here we go
Hey thio, this is scott again from tennessee
What's up scott
and um
Thank you for calling brother from tennessee, man
And that is a unique state. It's a very long state. It's basically that sideways florida, baby. Let's hear it
And i'm out here in virginia
Okay, so now you move to somewhere. Okay. All right scott
Working on storm crew and we're taking care of all these hangers and all these dangerous limbs after storms
Okay, so you out there on that limb trek
And you out there checking lean wood, baby, I feel you
And reaching for lean wood, baby gang
And I just wanted to call
and ask
About how I could help my girlfriend
Trust me more while i'm not here
We have a lot of issues with that
She always thinks i'm not drinking with the guys when i'm really just at the hotel
And I just wanted to ask what you thought I could do to make her feel better about all this
Thank you very much gang gang gang, baby
And thank you for reaching out man and
Look, we all know you're out drinking with the guys got you and that's fine
nobody's
you know
Nobody's mad at you or anything like that
But yeah, you got to make sure that your wife is content because they will steal stuff while you're gone and they will
A lot of them will even do arson now. There's a lot of mexican women and a lot of women in um
um
New mexico doing arson
And anyway
The bottom line here i'm seeing is um
I mean first of all
If you're in a tree every day and you out there hunting uh limbs and stuff
Chisel a little note to the lay, you know
Scotty loves, you know, teresa or whatever
Scotty loves diane put it in the wood man chisel it in there
Leave that advertisement out there a snap or a photo center that
Say here. I just chiseled this into the side of a you know a birch out here
Outside of uh rowanoke or whatever
Of our jenya beach, baby
You know what i'm saying you could do stuff like that
When you get back to the hotel center that picture right here. I am right here about an ice maker about a hampton inn, baby
I'm chill and so is this machine, you know cute little things like that
But yeah, some of it's it's interesting sometimes we'll use jealousy also to express that we care it could just be her saying look i care
But i'm afraid to just say it like that
Instead i do jealousy
Or i do, you know trust, you know, they don't
They don't trust you
But it's hard man getting somebody's trust
You know i've never been real good at it man
You know sometimes i think i don't know if i want people to trust me in a weird way
Because trust you have to have a trust means there's a connection trust means
Trust is there's responsibility
You know trust is just that damn condiment
You know trust is just that damn condiment
You know on that responsibility bond, baby
And so yeah, if you got trust with somebody you're gonna be that's a lifetime
You know, it's a that's an ongoing commitment that we're gonna behave a certain way and we're gonna
Communicate a certain way and honor each other's time and damn
It sounds like a lot
But i think an easy way to see if you could start man if you're real serious about it
I've had times in my life i wasn't even real i would get a girl to trust me but at the same time be doing untrustful stuff
Being trustful untrustful
So
It's tough man, but i think yeah chiseler some shitting into the tree
You know
Tommy loves robin or whatever, you know scottie loves vivi and some you know do something nice
Do some cute little things like that
I think that could definitely help
Or get one of those big johnson t-shirts remember them go look at them on ebay's big johnson
They got some cute stuff they make
um
Let's take one more call it came in man
Here we go nine eight five six six four nine five zero three and i'ma let you know also that uh
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Let's hit this hot
Line right here here we go
What's up theo
from north carolina
16 years old
and uh
This morning. I just got the news that my grandpa passed away
Oh, man. I'm sorry, bro
I'm sorry about that. Yeah 16 a lot of people
You know grandparents are really
I mean another damn hamsters of the uh
You know of the family in a lot of ways they
They'll kind of go out on you let's hear it
And it was really really strange because I mean just a week ago, you know, I was sitting on this couch
You know talking to him
But I mean it's just so sudden
That I mean I really don't even believe it. I mean I haven't even cried or
You know been angry or anything. I just like I can't believe it
But uh, yeah, I just want to know how you deal with
You know deaths that are just kind of unexpected and you know come out of nowhere
Well, you know, thanks for the call man and death
Death is all
It's like how it's like there's this force playing hide-and-go-seek or playing freeze tag and you didn't even know you're in it
You forget you're playing this game
of freeze tag
With time
And man when it touches you that's
It must be so just to people who when you get to that's how it is, you know, it's like oh
Okay, that's my turn. All right. Wow
Okay, I got it this no more I got a
And you don't get to pack your things that's got to be a wild part
I bet when people first say, you know, if doctor tells you, you know, it's your time. It's your turn. I bet I go home and start to pack
Just out of habit
You know, I'm used to going somewhere or being somewhere
But uh
But yeah, now it's like you get
You get that calling there's nothing to pack all you can do is kind of pack
Almost as unpacking
You know, hopefully you have enough time to unpack your bullshit
To unpack a you know a couple bags of forgiveness unpack a few apologies unpack all the
The fire you've been holding you gotta unpack it some
You know, I don't I was at a my grandparents didn't really
I don't know
My grandmother wasn't super keen on me and so I didn't have much of a relationship with her as I got into my teens and stuff and
But I've always had a strong affinity for seniors, you know, my father was a senior and um
And so I've always had a you know a warm place in my heart for him and it's interesting that
A lot of older people they kind of
I feel like a little bit they're ready to go
Because after you've done it all after you've had all the tiramisu you've wanted and
You've traveled to the places you wanted to go or were brave enough to take on the adventures you could take on
Your shell your body starts to die so really do you just this
You're almost like when you whenever you see a firefly inside of a little lantern or something
Or like tinkerbell on peter pans when you see it
The cage the cage dies man
But that hitter baby is that that tinker dog
That's the part that
Zips off to somewhere else
So
Your grandpa's probably happy to get out of that old-ass cage, I bet
I
Bet that has to feel pretty freeing, you know almost like the first time you get to drive a car when you're
You know in Louisiana you could drive when you're 15 when I was child you could drive 15 years old
Some people hadn't even jerked off their own body and they were driving
Which was crazy to ask somebody if they could bust out and they couldn't but they could you know do reverse
You know there's different times but um
Anyway, man, I don't know what I'm telling I don't know exactly what I'm telling you but
Yeah, you got that tankers left in the tank
When the tank rust so really I bet for your grandfather it's like him
It's like the first time you got to go down the road and drive yourself. God. There's nothing like that
Just the freedom you feel like I'm free I'm free
I'm away from her that you're away from your parent the first time you venture down the street before you get to the stop sign
And you got to turn and make a decision and shit. It gets scary then but before that
There's a blood there's a little bit of space where you're like, oh my god
Your folks are standing back in the driveway and they don't know you know and you're going like wow
I bet that's what it's like
It's just you know at that point when you're young you're getting you know
You're shedding that skin of your parents constant
you know
nesting over you and
You having to ask them for a ride or having to walk to work or do the bus
And now suddenly you live in freelance
So I bet that's what it's like your grandpa
He's probably in that night, you know
He's in that 1984 Ford escort in the sky
And he's
Listening to some abbey road by the Beatles or some damn Nelly
And he's just feeling good, bro
He's living
He's living again
So I bet there's some real
I bet he's off on a ride man
So
You know, maybe do some shit to honor him wishing well, maybe
Yeah
And make the use of the most out of your cage while you got it
Make the most out of your cage while you got it, man
Um
I think we did pretty good, man
I think we did pretty good
You know
That's all I got
That's all I got
Uh
What a great song that we came in on we got Heather McMahon is going to be in this week beautiful comedian
Out of uh
New york and atlanta
We're trying to think of unique guests
If you think it's somebody unique let us know
Thank you so much for supporting this podcast
You know, I'm grateful to have a
The opportunity to be here with you every week
And if continue to do this now for a couple years now
And um
And the last year has been really hard, but you guys have really been there for me and we've been there for each other
Bruin, that's how we do it here
We do our best. I feel like to just kind of keep it going
So I don't think we should stop that, you know
I'm going to wish everyone a happy early easter
Um
You know, it's a nice time. It's really a usually a beautiful time of year. I hope that spring time is starting to hit everyone
I remember going into our easter party one time they had this lady
That lived by us and she was doing
She was female pedophile actually, but the guys she was seeing were
16 years old and they were big men. They were really
I mean just
Bigger than regular men. I'd seen these men were these boys were big and
She would invite them over to
Do learning and stuff or spelling and they would just do sex or really drink
Or they would spell words like fucking
And um
They had an easter party one time and I wandered in there
I was a kid and I'd sneak over there sometimes and get that
While they're all smoking cigarettes, I'd get as much cigarette smoke as I could into my mouth and shit
And just fucking feel alive, bro
God it made me feel alive and one time I sprayed mace in there. I didn't know
What was going on exactly but I sprayed a little bit of mace in the air at the dance party when they were dancing and
You know
You know
It's gonna be 50 seconds later a minute and 10 seconds later
People crying and pouring milk in their eyes one guy kept pouring milk in his eyes. I remember
And uh
You know, it's just I don't know it's a holiday time man
I'm excited. I'm hoping to go to Baton Rouge, Louisiana and see my family
And I hope some of you guys get to spend time with your loved ones
Um
I'm off jiu-jitsu right now for another week my all my ribs heal up. I think I have a fractured rib
Uh
So I'm just trying to make the most of the time the downtime that I have
um
And that's all that's going on with me. Thank you guys for the calls. Let me know what's going on with you
Thank you for the suggestions for the um
quote for the man
And uh, thank you guys for patreon for supporting this past weekend
And uh, and you guys be good to yourself man
You guys deserve it
This is the come up with eddie nine v
And we'll put that video montage at the very end guys
Yeah
I'm on a come up. Yeah
Feels real good after I've been so blue
I'm on the come up
It feels so good to have a brand new view. Come on up. Let's go
Come on
Well, I just moved up to lucky street when I made a game and said to me you're on the come up
He's gonna come up
And it's plain to see between you and me. We got so much love and chemistry. It's about to come up
He's gonna come up
Well, good things keep on coming and there ain't gonna be no running. You know, I'm on the come up
Well, I just got home and now I'm back. I got so many people asking where I'm at
I've been to Tennessee and oh, hi. Oh a task. Oh, so when I know I'm gonna come
Nothing really more to say
Well, if you're asking me what I really want to do is just come right back make love to you. I'm gonna come up
He's gonna come up
Come on Eddie
Oh, yeah, I'm on the come up
I'm gonna come up
And right there that's uh, they come up with 89 v you guys be good to yourselves man. Y'all deserve it. Thank you
So I feel it's jack and indiana here. We got a young man who uh
Needs a little help on a senior quote for his year, but uh, I'ma let him I'ma let him play dry his mind real quick
So my little advice to you if you're gonna do a senior quote is uh, just keep it short and simple
But keep it slick, you know, you want something to
Make the girls in 10 years be like damn. I wonder what he's up to nowadays, man. He's kind of slick, you know
So just keep it short and simple give a little something like I'm the man of the hour
Too sweet to be sour. Dang. Hi, my name is Kevin. I'm from Toronto, Ontario. I have two suggestions
My first is from you Theo, which is um an event is like regular time only more special
Which I think is fairly profound and then my second is one that I used when I was in
My senior year and that's um, Andrew Santino is a stupid ugly ginger
gang gang
What's going on Theo? My name is Alex. I'm from st. Louis, Missouri
I got a suggestion for Zachary's yearbook quote. I think it should be the classic goodfellas
All my life
Growing up. I always wanted to be a gangster. I think that would be pretty cool to put in the yearbook
Uh, hope this makes it on the show. Thanks, man
What up, Theo? This is Ryan Minneapolis Mantis, baby
Uh, listen to your episode today
Uh about uh and the guy called up about the uh yearbook quote
My yearbook quote was
Of all my friends. I am the leader
And a lot of my friends didn't appreciate that shit and uh
Uh, it didn't go well, but I still think it's funny. I I still get a kick out of that
I'm I'm still glad I did it. So to that young buck out there looking for a quote do something that uh, you know, you're gonna
you're gonna find
entertaining or
Funny or whatever in the future and don't worry about your friends because chances are you're not gonna have those friends
You know 20 years from now or whatever
All right, that's it. Thanks. Theo. Love you, buck