This Past Weekend - E332 Christmas Friends

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

Theo talks about living in a new home, a recent stand up set, and takes some suggestions of senior quotes for last weeks caller Zachary. He also checks in with a single mother who was nominated by a l...istener, and takes voicemails from some people struggling with some issues. Music "The Come Up" - Eddie 9V https://linktr.ee/Eddie9V Support our sponsors: The Zebra: For Insurance in black & White https://TheZebra.com/theo Fabletics Modiphy New Merch: https://theovonstore.com​ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to tpwproducer@gmail.com. Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza 1811 pico boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles Gray block get that hit her And they used to have a big girl bus. They called her clutch That's what they call her because she was Conceived in a Standard vehicle, you know so That's how that works, baby
Starting point is 00:00:34 Good to be here, man. I'm just an egomaniac with an inferiority complex And I'm just trying to come up who isn't Oh Come on does the come up with Eddie 9 V I'm gonna come up. Yeah, it feels so good to have a brand new view Oh Well, I just broke up with my baby
Starting point is 00:01:34 Just moved up to Lucky Street when I made a game and said to me you're on the comma. Come on You want to come up, baby? Oh, and it's plain to see between you and me. We got so much love and in chemistry It's gonna come up. We're good things keep on coming There you go good things that keep on coming and not ain't gonna keep on running I'm gonna come up and And that is Eddie 9 V they call him Eddie 9 V and People look at Eddie and they say well damn man
Starting point is 00:02:26 And that's Eddie 9 V Good to be here, man. I'm alive. You're alive and what's going on it is Hell, it's March. It's the end of March. It's 2021 and a lot of people didn't think this was gonna happen and I'm not naming names, but Mayans dude So if you know any Mayans out there Maya Who they got Maya Rudolph Maya and Angelo?
Starting point is 00:03:00 There's a couple of Mayans out there still remaining and they don't believe in the calendar. So must be nice Must be nice Mayans So just somebody invite you over and you say well Yeah, I don't believe in you know, oh Friday doesn't exist. So I'm not gonna be there Or somebody says hey come to my birthday party and they say hey, well, you know the world ended 11 years ago So I'm not bringing a present You know, that's the most Mayan shit ever, but that's that's so Mayan How is that not a TV show?
Starting point is 00:03:41 That's so Mayan And we can actually get to the bottom of what these Mayans were saying Because the Mayans I Mean whatever I don't want to give them any more credit, but you know what they did They sold us short. That's what they did that song again was called the come-up with brighter days by Eddie 9v and that's a nice tune right there and you know, um What's going on what's going on in your world? We got a nice episode for you today. I
Starting point is 00:04:18 Want to continue to suggest to people that they send in unique videos and things that they want us to discuss on here Also on Theo Vaughn.com is where you can upload the video or you can email it to TPW producer at gmail or Gummail.com right there, so What's happening well, and I'm in the original studio, baby, let's go So if you need me I'm right here knock knock who's there moi baby French me daddy Cuz I'm he I look I'm I'm you know, I'm multi
Starting point is 00:05:03 You don't have to be in one place anymore When I was young yet to be in one place If you wanted to you know, if you wanted to talk to a man who sold matches you had to go he was only at the match shop or if you wanted to see a man about a You know a cantaloupe or a horse or anything if you wanted to talk to a You know somebody that sold belts You know or outdoor equipment yard seating
Starting point is 00:05:31 Then you needed to go to a specific spot and meet him But now People can be anywhere you see how I just did that I'm in three spots daddy I'm in three spots right there if you're looking on the video Yeah, nice to be our did some comedy last night Got up out there at um At uh, they had a place over in Los Angeles. It's like between two buildings and it's You can hear people
Starting point is 00:06:06 You can hear I'll be honest you can hear gay dudes swallowing pills right on the other side of the fence. I mean it's uh You know there's a lot of that kind of activity, you know outdoor barbiturate use And a lot of man trying to say they're just being a little bit more aggressive And a lot of men trying to say they're just buddies, but they're also You know one of them has a condom in his sock so
Starting point is 00:06:37 You know what they call they used to call it Christmas friends When I was growing up they would refer if they if they had men When I was growing up they didn't have but probably maybe 70 or 80 gay men You know overall Okay and so You know you didn't there wasn't a lot of now there's a thousands, you know, you have gay you have gay pride parade you have you know gay uh
Starting point is 00:07:06 You know you have bath houses you have um What do you have you have uh, kathy griffin you have all of the You know everything you could want you got um You know you got little You know sex toys and stuff where you could also do a little bit of coke off the end of it, you know, they got everything that You know they got man, you know every You know they got swing sets that uh vibrate they got everything you could want for gay culture now But when I was young they didn't have that
Starting point is 00:07:42 And sometimes you would see men Being with other men and they called it christmas friends. Oh, that's those guys are christmas friends Or they would say oh them boys is uh You know, um, they said there's oh those boys are brothers, you know, they tried to trick you if you were a kid And they didn't want you knowing that gay existed Because that was kind of the time I grew up and they didn't want everybody knowing that gay was a an option They were it was still kind of under wraps. It was kind of covert
Starting point is 00:08:18 You know, it was like, um You could it was it was available, but it wasn't readily available It was like these top shot mba basketball cards. You got a If you're not on the website at a certain time, you're not you're not going to get it And that's kind of how it was with gay back then And You know, it just wasn't readily available so Every now and then you see men and they and your your parents would say oh those those guys are those those guys are unique brothers
Starting point is 00:08:50 Or those guys are cousins, you know, and you'd be like, well, they're cousins. That's Why are they? You know wrestling and kind of kissing and that you know in the front of that In the front of that, um, Pontiac And nobody had a lot of answers for you. But anyway, that is the come up by eddie nine v and um What's going on in my life, man? Oh, yeah, I got into a new home
Starting point is 00:09:18 And it's kind of like I never You know, I went out of town. So I you know, I'm back here in Los Angeles for a week and so I'm like, whoa Oh I literally was leaving the house and I was like, well, who Takes care of the house while I'm gone You know who watt like is is everything okay, I literally like looked I was like You guys gonna be okay. And I'm just like talking to the furniture. So I just It was kind of nerd just I don't know. I didn't think about
Starting point is 00:09:54 Who is taking care of the home? Well Because I never owned it So now I'm just like, okay every you know, I'll open up the cupboard. I'm like, all right, you guys be good, you know And it's just like a little spice rack in there or you know some time and some um Uh, what else they had in there cinnamon So Um, but that's been kind of interesting just kind of feeling that out, you know
Starting point is 00:10:27 Uh, I can't decide if I want a hat on or off, you know, you ever feel like that I get like that sometimes You know a hat is just a little apartment for your head really And that is uh That's legitimate What's going on? Yeah, a lot of neat stuff. Yeah. So if you have some cool stuff, send it in. Um, We're gonna get into some things on this episode uh
Starting point is 00:10:59 What's happening What's happening kind of like what happened this past we kind of did some comedy sets over there. That's what I was telling you about I did some comedy sets over there in Uh in los angeles And they had uh You know, it's I don't know I got in the argument with this one not a argument but like a confrontational Moment kind of I guess
Starting point is 00:11:29 um with this one female comedian and she uh I don't know. I've never seen this woman Seemed like she know has ever had an ounce of joy In her being but um Anyway, uh, she got on me like I don't have a mask on I don't have a mask on and here's why because nobody has them on anymore That's what I'm saying and I'm not I've now spent time in national I spend time in los angeles. I don't see them anymore People don't gots dumb
Starting point is 00:12:05 Um, and so that's like well, you know, so she gets on me and she's like kind of like oh, you don't think we should be wearing masks You know, and I'm like, I just You know, nobody has meanwhile There is a I don't want to say homeless guy, but a guy who Duh, you know This dude is not This guy hasn't been in a laundry room. I bet him probably a year and a half
Starting point is 00:12:37 And he's defecating bro You know what I'm saying Making freaking body rope dog. You feel me You know what I'm saying serving that booty isthmus. You know what I'm saying, bro This dude was making them freaking dirty. Florida's just rolling out of his boot And so I uh like nine feet away from us And this lady's giving me a hard time so
Starting point is 00:13:08 But I stood my ground baby and let my yapper shine Um So that was it. It was a little conversation. It was kind of exciting though. It was kind of exciting Um I got to be in a tesla I got to be in a tesla And that was interesting because I'd never been in there
Starting point is 00:13:36 And it's real Quiet I almost felt like a snail like a snail like if you're in his little cage or whatever um You know where his butt. I don't know. What is that thing a snail has his butt? Oh, I never even thought about that That a snail is just just you know, he's just scooting around with his big butt behind him really With him apple bottom jeans, baby
Starting point is 00:14:11 And he scoots with the freaking fur, bro the um Snails got that freaking peach on him boo boo. You know it He's got that booty Uh So anyway, I got to be in a tesla. That was interesting. It yeah, it doesn't feel I like I like I like a little gasoline beneath me I like knowing that if somebody mishandles a cigarette in the vehicle we could all die
Starting point is 00:14:38 You know call me old-fashioned that's I like that. I just like something about it a little bit I like when you get in a real classic vehicle and a classic vehicle is you know, that's a It's something people are basically hoping that If their grandpa dies he gonna give them That's what it is and Some of those when you put gasoline in them, it's like
Starting point is 00:15:17 You sit in there that thing my god I mean you could feel the lord just it feels like the You sit it feel like the lord's jerking you off, you know Trying to bust you out at about just a dna level Just really trying to just get you to skeet right out of your damn spine, baby. You know what I'm saying Um So Yeah, so that was it
Starting point is 00:15:50 It was uh, it was interesting to leave. Um A house is just interesting to have a home. It's kind of scary. I guess I've always kind of thought of myself. I think it's kind of transient a little bit You know and I kind of like being a little bit transient. I like having the ability to go And to come you know what I'm saying boy Just joking guys. Jesus man. Ha take care of yourself, man um But no, I realized that about I like my I like always having the ability to just kind of scoot off if I want to
Starting point is 00:16:31 You know less hooks in the uh in the fish And I realized that about myself even when it comes to anything I always I like having one foot out the door I'll be eating at the dinner table, but I'll be damn If I don't have one of my legs all the way out the door Or at least hanging out the window or something. I'll at least leave my shoes over there Because I got one foot out the door. It's just the way I've always been kind of You know, I think I just don't want to feel connected. I think sometimes that I don't want to feel connected, man I want to but
Starting point is 00:17:18 Man You know, it's scary how much connection can Uh how debilitating it can almost be How Yeah, I mean it's a vulnerable thing just showing your glue to somebody just saying hey, here's the sticky parts of Who I am Does this work for you? Does this work for this
Starting point is 00:17:57 Yeah, it's interesting man It's really interesting Having something that is Is a form of commitment for me Is uh is interesting so We got a good a good a good episode. I feel like and I want to thank uh nick davis the producer and Sean uh dug in of it and riley mow and
Starting point is 00:18:24 Collin riner and everybody helps take care of this program So what we got here Is I'm having a little bit of that Liquid death, baby. Hmm. I didn't know water could be I'd be honest with you I didn't know water could have as much damn Water in it This water has the most water per water
Starting point is 00:18:47 That I've ever seen man Or been around. Um, we had a lot of people that submitted, you know, we had a young fellow last week that called in He couldn't decide a senior quote To leave into his uh Yearbook And yearbook man, I hope I have they discontinued yearbooks. I wonder that I hope not Because yearbooks was that it was that end of the year thing It was the last chance
Starting point is 00:19:20 For you to say what you wanted to say to that person Hey jennifer, I hope you have a great summer. You got nice legs Uh You could say and sign it and then here's the thing you would close it and give it back to him So they didn't know immediately where you signed It was almost like a time capsule for Guys who were afraid to say something to a girl And now you had all summer you had all summer to wonder all dang
Starting point is 00:19:57 Does jennifer know How I feel about her limbs It was just different it was a different time Or you'd write oh teondra good luck with the baby you could write stuff like that Because where I'm from these girls got embryoed up, baby, you know These things man I don't know if you've ever been to embryo riddle university, but there was no this was no laughing matter, bro These guys got embryoed up boy
Starting point is 00:20:44 Bitch better have my zygote They was yo'd out baby these girls Um I never will forget I lost a spelling bee in fifth grade to a pregnant girl God bless her. Helena was her name Named after her grandmother who was also Helena And uh beautiful girl not really beautiful, but nice girl with a baby so You know when I had all you know, I had all these things that she was
Starting point is 00:21:21 Cheating or she had a baby in her. It's you know, she's running on You know god puts an extra little batch of effort in you when you got a baby in you You got a little brain powder flowing in your veins because it's but you got to make a brain So over the first couple months you got little pieces of brain rolling through your body like tetris And then they meet up in there in the baby's head So I'm thinking oh this lucky broad the spelling bee came right along You know when she was just kind of uh Zygoned that goat, you know what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:22:02 In that first trimester dog So I'm thinking every now and then they would ask her to spell this or spell that spell rattlesnake You know spell shiffer rope spell panty And right when she was thinking that a little piece of that baby brain would get you know Lodged in the back of her, you know throat And that would help her Uh get the word right
Starting point is 00:22:28 And I lost I lost on inconvenience. I remember losing on but It was a good time, man. It was the goodest of times and it was the worst of times Uh, we got some senior quotes that came in and so I want to get to some of those Um, I want to thank everybody for hitting the hotline. 985-664-9503 people had recommendations Uh for senior quotes All right, I want to say originally we got this call from a man right here And we're going to this this fellow named Zachary and let's get this call. Uh, so you can remember it He needed a little help
Starting point is 00:23:08 Thank you. What's up? This is Zachary from Illinois I'm a senior in high school this year and I'm in desperate need Of a senior quote and I thought I'd do better to give me a senior quote than the Theo Vaughn So if you give me a a funny one-liners, there you go And there's Zachary right there who Can't think of a sentence for himself and that's you know That's a male problem You got that sentence impotence dog
Starting point is 00:23:34 And look, I've been halfway through a sentence and I can't get it all the way up I'll be honest You know some of you just like hey, I love to And you can't get it out or why don't You Or oh man, I I want to And that happens atchery But we got some great submissions people really wanted to uh
Starting point is 00:24:02 To offer some support for you Zach. So let's get a few right here. Here we go. This is uh from your boy pat right here Let's hear it from white pat What's up theo and team it's pat from colorado. I got a Suggestion for our boys senior quote issue Theo, I think you'll get behind this one a little bit business in the front party in the back Four years at this school and I didn't learn jack gang gang. There you go, brother And I remember doing uh mushrooms one time at school and I remember thinking my shirt was a snake
Starting point is 00:24:36 Because I'd worn a felt made shirt made out of pool table felt they had a guy in our town for a while His wife had died and uh And so he he was doing uh making shirts out of felt out of pool table You know, they had a bad batch of pool tables in this town next to us called bogalusa, louisiana. Someone had made Pool tables in the wood that they used had termites in it And beautiful tables, but they're disappearing You know, you could barely get halfway through a game a damn nine ball and uh, one of the legs be missing off of the thing
Starting point is 00:25:16 You know, and now you want one of the pockets is uphill suddenly So, uh, this fella in our town got the felt off of the tables that green felt and made shirts out of them beautiful shirts And he marketed it as christmas apparel And um And um And so I got one man, you know, I was lucky enough to cop one of them There's only probably about 11 or 15 of them And I got one and I remember eating mushrooms and wearing it at school when I thought my arm was a snake
Starting point is 00:25:49 And that's one of the side effects of eating uh psilocybe mushrooms, it'll snake your arm out You know what I'm saying? You'll be sitting there in class and next thing you know Your arm is eating a white mouse and you're like damn, okay Okay, we are we getting Viby today Okay today the science lesson is in my brain So I'm you know geeked up and uh, so I excuse myself from the classroom and I try to excuse myself from my arms
Starting point is 00:26:24 But you can't do that So I went into the bathroom and I stayed in there for about four hours at school In the bathroom and Because I couldn't if things were a little more manageable in there You know, you could pee or you could do the sink Or you could you know You got to meet everybody if there were kids you didn't know everybody has to bathroom And so that was the beauty of being in there was you got to meet people you didn't know
Starting point is 00:26:53 We didn't know But um The weird part was when you'd be in there and they'd come back to urinate for the second time Because on average people would urinate probably two and a half times during the day three times And uh So when you saw some guys for the second time they would that was a little weird Because it's easy to kind of Understand why somebody's in the bathroom one time. It's harder to understand
Starting point is 00:27:26 Why they're still in the bathroom hours later when you go back in And they're still in there just doing toilet sink sink sink toilet sink So But that was high school, man, but that's a great senior quote right there. Thank you very much. Little pat colorado pat dog that mountain cat Pat onward. Let's hear another one that came in right here out of someone If you know what up, it's Steve out here in black mountain, North Carolina
Starting point is 00:27:59 What's up, Steve out of black mountain and um And i'll be honest. You don't see a lot of blacks in the mountains dude. That's really You know a lot of black people I feel like are more sea level You know prefer sea level or just above sea level sea level is also can be I think dangerous for more african americans, but um Anyway, brother, thank you very much for calling in man gang
Starting point is 00:28:29 I have a uh senior quote submission for you Everybody wants to contribute However, nobody wants to be contributed to You therefore the greatest gift you can give someone is to let them contribute to you peace Yeah, that's a good one man. That's a real thinker right there steve and I appreciate you Yeah, I look I can relate to that. I want to be I'm terminally unique
Starting point is 00:29:02 I want to be anyway. I want to be unique to a fault where it It Even at my own detriment sometimes I want to be it has to be my it has to be unique to my own detriment um Yeah, it's hard to be want to be contributed to to just accept people's Contributions, especially if you're used to handling things yourself Uh, and that's a nice gift
Starting point is 00:29:30 Is to let somebody do something for you You know, let somebody love you let somebody uh hug you Look, you know Let somebody have your last caramel baby your last uh Butterscotch daddy Thank you, steve. That's another great one you have right there. Is that your e onward? Here we go What up theo this is bunjo, uh
Starting point is 00:29:56 Well, maybe I'm coming from Croatia too. So what's up bunjo out of Croatia? And that's Croatia for you dog. You can name somebody anything baby. It's baby. I mean, it's the damn white detroit, bro You can name somebody tickle me out my dog You know what I'm saying? You can name somebody sturgeon I mean you can name somebody damn, uh Uh, uh, motor cross you'll meet a fellow named motor cross over there by the ocean by that slovak Uh area onward
Starting point is 00:30:33 This is the wrong approach, but I remember I always used to sign this on people's yearbook as a quote Uh, I just signed your track now. Let's smoke some Um, I don't know. There's my quote. Thank you for letting me say that. Uh, and I love your show, steve. You're the man Thank you bunjo, and I'm glad you're letting you guys make videotape over there and uh In Croatia, baby, and you'd be good over there and you guys Keep doing whatever you got to do baby to stay alive, baby All right, and that is a good quote. Yeah, if you got a smoke crack, I never got to smoke crack You know and a lot of uh people know that
Starting point is 00:31:17 You know, I never got to smoke crack in my life and I thought about Sometimes I think about, you know, not being sober to so I could go smoke it Isn't that crazy but You know, we really should have somebody who was a crackhead or addicted to crack for a long time on here To talk about that And I would love to have Mike Lindell the Mike the my pillow guy You know people don't know that he was a crack addict And nothing will uh nobody
Starting point is 00:31:47 Nobody needs sleep more than someone who's been on crack for a few days. And so I'm not shocked really that the man came out with that uh That headrest, baby. You know what I'm saying? That fucking synthetic goose, baby that rest piece that pillow dawg Praise god, baby. Let's hear another one. Here we go onward Yo, what's up, Rat King? It's uh Dillon from Mobile, Alabama. What's up Dillon? from mobile And mobile's a good place to uh
Starting point is 00:32:21 To kind of drink coffee and kind of wish you were maybe somewhere else. Let's hear more You know that port city hitter, but uh I think a nice senior quote would be uh One of the teachers is having an affair with students or something like that, you know stir up some shit before you leave, dude You don't even want to go at it. Amen. Make them wild But uh Shout out to you, bro. Uh Funniest dude in the game
Starting point is 00:32:47 Hope you come back down here, man. I know he's in Biloxi for the dark arts tour. Hopefully you come back, bro I love you gang gang gang, bro. Thanks Dillon, man. And yeah, I love uh, I got a uh a step step sister Name holly that lives over there in Spanish Fort, Alabama and um I guess I don't know what it is. I think they had I don't know why Spanish Fort is what it is. I don't know enough about it
Starting point is 00:33:12 But mobile's getting better the beaches. They're really starting. They're doing all they can to really beach it out Um You know, you'll see like a it's a it's a place you could kind of find a fuck you could find barbecue Near a palm tree mobile's that weird. It's that weird little uh, it's kind of like a transgender type of um Uh like land like, you know, it's beach, but it's country, but it's sandy, but it's um tropical um There's like cannonballs like you could like, you know
Starting point is 00:33:50 There's a lot of like vague civil war gift shops, but you're not really sure What it's for and they'll have like a seashell in it just a lot of stuff that doesn't You know, it's a it's a hodgepodge if you will. Um But if you get lost downtown, it's nice And I got lost down there and I was really surprised at how nice it was one time Um, but thank you for calling in dylan and that's another great great quote right there Leave by starting something, you know Say just be straight up man. Mr. Herbadas touched me once say that
Starting point is 00:34:30 You know say uh scottie used to bang this uh Randolph Say, you know what I'm saying like lia leave a little bit of uh leave the light on for people Hit him with that fucking motel six in their crotch, you know say hey Miss uh, jera folha Was fine as hell baby. Okay, you know what I'm saying do a little something. I like your attitude start a little something you know Say, hey, I hid two hundred dollars and mr. Vleets Honda Civic
Starting point is 00:35:08 gang Let's go Uh, we got one more that came in for you. Let's hear it What up rat king, this is brian calling from california california brian in california, man, it's a good place for somebody to uh Uh get angry at you about not having a mask on while a homeless fella Gives birth to them freaking but you know them rear body babies dog
Starting point is 00:35:39 Only six or seven feet away from you praise god. Let's hear more brian Cisco bay area I was calling because you were asking about a high school senior quote And a couple came to mind when I was listening the first one is from the louisiana bad boy The rat king mr. Theo von. I think it's words to live by Right in there be good to yourself. You probably deserve it. Amen. If I could go back Write those words That's much better than whatever I wrote something stupid that I thought was funny at the time
Starting point is 00:36:16 But you live by those words and I honestly think that that's going to make you happier Now the other quote probably not school And that's true, man You know, it's so funny how many guys I'll I'll run into and and and women occasionally but mostly men and And we'll just share that back to me say be good to yourself You know be good to yourself It's hard, isn't it? It's hard brian. It's hard to be good to ourselves
Starting point is 00:36:54 And I don't know if it's because we spend so much time around ourselves. I don't know if it's That you got to be tougher on who you you know But it's hard It's hard man. So thank you for that. Well that well wish baby now. Let's uh, let's hear the other one I think that that's going to make you happier Now the other quote probably not school appropriate But it was the clip you played after the high school senior called in And some elderly woman was screaming at somebody and she said
Starting point is 00:37:28 If I want to fuck I can fuck That ain't nobody business but mine If your school will let you print it also So good words to live by But that's it man. I hope I hope this senior can find something good I would go with the rat king And uh, I hope you be good to yourself man You deserve it
Starting point is 00:37:54 Gang brother. Thanks, brian. I like that second one man. I'm gonna play yours again If I want to fuck I can fuck That ain't nobody business but mine There you go, baby There you go And we should start a senior yearbook for actual seniors. That's what it should be Somebody should just make a yearbook of all the old people in their town and say this is our senior yearbook And you go around and get them to sign it now
Starting point is 00:38:25 You know what i'm saying people be writing real stuff, you know That would be amazing just to get you know To really get on To just really just to capture that last hurrah And then you compare it Or maybe like our high school should come back years later and get a quote later on You know That's what they should do
Starting point is 00:38:55 But those are great man. There's a really nice suggestions for zatch and I think that um, the good thing also is that Uh, we have a montage of other ones that came in and we'll put that on at the end of the episodes You guys can check that out and and thank you for being a part of this past weekend and a part of um A part of our lives here. I want to thank you for that I also want to tell you right now about the zebra and about insurance or insurance Look, I got it. I got into a home recently and I was like damn. I gotta what if everything burns down? You know, if you're in an apartment or you're renting you don't care if something burns down like who gives a shit
Starting point is 00:39:35 You probably started the fire Hell a lot of times i'm shocked shit didn't burn down But now every time I leave home, I need to head back home You know to make sure that the oven isn't on or that the you know didn't leave the heat or on this all the some There's too many things that could happen I just worry like is is is everything gonna be okay? Well, who can help you now is the zebra The nation's leading insurance comparison site for car and home insurance man for car and home
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Starting point is 00:41:24 My leg is stuck in my my neck Like, all right. We're saying all right. We're saying we're sending somebody over man We'll send clarence over you're like clarence. What clarence? What? And then clarence shows up man. He's in a four to f 250 brah And he got speakers in that bitch and you he can't even lift you. He's real small, you know He played point guard brah, but only in jv He's real small. He can't even lift your body and you got a bad leg your leg stuck in your neck You got our neck leg
Starting point is 00:41:59 You got neck leg, baby And so damn brah now you got to fucking Jump up in the back of the truck on your one good leg and he rides you over there And he's playing 50 cent the whole time. Get him up. But get him up. But Ha la buh buh buh it's going down and you're in the back like Damn You bleeding out back there Go shawty. It's your bird and you bleeding out. They got blood dripping out the back of the truck
Starting point is 00:42:31 And little clarence trying to get to the hospital brah, but he had to stop for gas dog. Don't end up with nasty medical Get the good stuff. That's all I'm telling you Speaking of the good stuff man, you need phabaletics brah It better help my phabaletics You know, there's a lot of different opportunities for men to wear clothing And unfortunately men have always worn stuff if you look back through time even Only on the first few pages of the bible is men naked And then one of the men kills the other men
Starting point is 00:43:14 And that at that point they said and we got a blouse up And so what happened was uh Clothing And so what happened was clothing and so people started getting clothed and now you got phabaletics, man phabaletics men Represents for every guy who wants to look and feel his best without breaking the bank You can't be spending thousands on a t-shirt Or thousands on a sneaker
Starting point is 00:43:42 Or a leg brace or something if you're handicapped. That's right. This means lululemon quality for half the price Because guys deserve to work out in good quality stuff Go to phabaleticsfablets.com That's right for access to insane deals get your first two pairs of shorts For just twenty four dollars when you become a phabaletics men VIP member at checkout become a phabaletics men VIP member at checkout All styles all colors no exclusions
Starting point is 00:44:25 You talking top quality top of the line Stuff that they would wear in rome And now it's available to you the best active wear at the best prices At least twenty to fifty percent off retail prices every time you shop Get free shipping on all orders over forty nine dollars. That's right. Go to phabaletics FABLETICS.com slash thio for access to an insane deal Um Man, I just can never decide if I should wear a hat or not ever get like that
Starting point is 00:45:00 You leave you put the hat on You try it. You're like, oh, I feel like I just I don't like having the hat on So I'm gonna try the head off. I'm gonna try it backwards and you're like, oh, am I too old to have a hat on backwards? You know, do I look like um You know trying to sell Sports equipment or what's going on and then you so you go no hat. All right. How do I do no hat? Do my hair look okay? Do I seem decent? Do I seem clean? I always think that
Starting point is 00:45:35 Come on, mom will say you look dirty when I was young you look dirty All right, let's get into a couple of uh of calls right here that came in and um, as always the hotline 985-6649503 you can submit videos on uh, thiovon.com Here we go. Yo, Theo, this is Karl Lover Stocksdale from Kentucky Man, my little brother, he got me turned on listening to this past weekend. He ain't even saying just anything Theo Bond, you know what I'm saying Well, praise god brother and thank you for uh for reaching out from uh Stocksdale, Kentucky
Starting point is 00:46:19 and um And I never been over there, but Kentucky I used to do steroids and I know that uh That sometimes people have done those also in Kentucky. Let's hear more but He's got a little problem with smoking. He uh devil's lettuce You know, I used to do me pretty hardcore on all the dope And uh, trying to get him to quit. He's got a good head on his shoulders
Starting point is 00:46:46 But um, he just tanked it. He just put it down But that's gonna bring things I mean, I don't I don't know. I I've told him everything cussed him Been his buddy. I don't really know what to do And I think if the fiovon called it for some bitch and said hey man Put smoking the dope killing your brain cells He might actually quit. I don't
Starting point is 00:47:11 Well, look man, I'm gonna tell you this. I appreciate you. I think it's nice that you care enough about your brother to care about what he's doing You know when it's hard at some age is because some age is people gonna blow their lungs out or blow their liver out Or blow their dick out even sometimes if they'd be a nasty or whatever Or they got AIDS or anything like that or getting AIDS But um You know I mean weed is a tough one weed is a tough one
Starting point is 00:47:46 because You know, sometimes people just have to run their course with it And it's safer. It's better than other drugs You know, it's better than somebody doing a bunch of heroin or a bunch of um You know cocaine or crack. It's better than that in the sense that it's You know, they're more calmer and that's nice But yeah, sometimes you want to get them off it sometimes you can lose a sibling or a friend in and they get real depth up Then of the weed and they like a damn swamp. It's like talking to they still plan it out
Starting point is 00:48:24 You know, all they're doing is just kind of sitting there like a plant they kind of become what they smoke They sit in there and they kind of are unique, but they really just a fucking plant And they want water and then they uh You know they um And that's it man. They just want some water because they're so high So I think here's one thing that I'd use to help quit. I just quit I quit smoking cigarettes, you know about almost a year ago now Dude actually in April it'll be a year. Wow And the thing that helped me quit
Starting point is 00:49:01 I was in kawaii man kawaii hawaii And a man I met a man by a smoothie shop and he was a shaman You know, he was off work Smoothie guy shaman guy And Next thing you know him him and his old lady got me back at their joint They got a you know kind of a low-key child care kind of center also, but they smoke they have DMT over there And they had that five MEO
Starting point is 00:49:31 DMT that smoky treat baby that brain smoothie, you know what I'm talking about That fucking turn your whole life into a damn skill crane, baby in the claw The lord comes out and just picks things out of you that he don't want to be there anymore And one of the things That the lord's mighty arm picked right out of me was my desire to smoke cigarettes My desire to smoke cigarettes because DMT I find it'll put the wheels on your once Sometimes your very core has once inside of it it has things it wants to do And they just it don't it don't have the wheels it don't have the downhill that don't have the gradient
Starting point is 00:50:14 But that DMT will get in there and do that dirty work, you know It'll tickle your sister but buy her a house, you know what I'm saying it does the things that you can't really you don't want to do And that's what it did for me, man. It got inside of me and I went from literally Each day I'd be in my head like okay. Am I gonna and I wasn't a heavy smoker But I'd smoke a couple at night And I had a crutch I would smoke when I didn't want to that was it. I would smoke when I didn't want to And anytime I had a problem or an uncertainty or a non-surity Or anything I would just I would go smoke I would it became my god in a weird way when I had a question a worry a thought a concern of
Starting point is 00:51:05 Or a positive feeling. Let's smoke. Let's smoke. Oh, let's celebrate. Let's smoke. Oh damn bummer. Let's smoke It became where I went when I had a feeling of any sort So it was so nice when it disappeared. I mean literally It just that that that five course meal baby that five MEO DMT just took it completely out of my My history And so that's what I think that that kind of stuff can do. It's that it's the librarian Inside of you that we all need So I don't know if that helps to suggest your brother smoke DMT to quit smoking weed, but
Starting point is 00:51:52 But also I think he has you have to want it That's what I'm saying. I think he puts the wheels on your once It it can happen if he don't wants it then I think it it won't happen It has to be a want that's been that's been occurring in your in your background You know, it has to be a want that's just sitting on the stem of your spine waiting for a ride home But you you don't you don't have the power to make it happen And that DMT does that dirty work. That's what it does. So I think that um That that's a possibility, but sometimes you got to let people run their course with drugs
Starting point is 00:52:34 Uh, so but I'm sorry. I just think I think overall it's just nice that you care What's going on with your brother at all? you know And I think I think things are okay in moderation if he can handle it Uh, but if he wants to quit and he can't then that's when I think that um That DMT could be an answer for and could possibly save y'all's brother ship So All right, we had we had uh, we had this video come in right here. Um, thank you guys for submitting this from uh tiktop
Starting point is 00:53:08 Let's go My number one requested thing to cook catfish kubion. I'm hydrated. I'm motivated Let's get it, dude. Okay, and here you got a man. This is a real out. This is like an indoor outdoor man And this man is like a chef. Let's hear more of this and this guy. I see Louisiana flag in the background He's a Louisiana guy. Let's hear it again My number one requested thing to cook catfish kubion. I'm hydrated. I'm motivated Let's get it, dude We got a half a cup of butter half a cup of flour. We're making a blind colored roof. Let's get it, dude
Starting point is 00:53:42 Holy trinity and some garlic You got your own y'all sweating down your head with your vegetable juice and your homemade seafood stock You got until a rolling ball add your stew tomatoes and your tomato paste bay leaves green olives fresh lemons Add the creole seasoning you like a little two step We let it simmer for 25 minutes and while we wait we hide great
Starting point is 00:54:09 Oh, that's alcohol. Let's parsley green onions pull out your lemons your bay leaves and lay down your beautiful Louisiana blue cat Hmm at this point. Don't stir just sink them down Yeah, you can't see the video, but he's literally pushing pieces of blue cat down into the um Into the sauce with a boat or Amen Catfish kubion a cracker. That's money, dude There you go
Starting point is 00:54:40 And so this is a man. This is a Louisiana type man You see some of this dude got an eight ball of lorry seasoning in his pocket, bro. You know what I'm saying This dude or this dude will boil your sister's tits right here This dude will straight up boil Your sister's tits man. He's about that life, bro. He's about that fire that fucking, uh, tit right off the bone life, dog That's who he is, bro This is the kind of dude. He'll invite you over for a hot tub You realize you in the hot tub next thing, you know, when onion goes by a lemon or artichoke goes by
Starting point is 00:55:16 And you realize you you're about to be lunch boy, you know, I'm saying this dude has alternate plans Uh, what I love about this guy, he's one of those type of guys you see in Louisiana He's very he's every neighborhood has this guy And you need this guy this dude is the chef By the week he works at the chase bank or he works over there at Whitney bank Or reggions bank or whatever, but on suddenly the weekend hits and he's do You know what I'm saying? He's fucking he gots a bunting burner and he's grilling, uh, you know, he'll have a damn, uh
Starting point is 00:55:53 A cigarette lighter and be cooking up a piece of damn crab meat with it You know, they get wild like that guys like this And if you notice he uses all the vowels In Louisiana, they got a lot of extra vowels, you know, you got a e I oh you yeah three or Oh Yeah Oh
Starting point is 00:56:20 Yeah Oh Yeah I Yeah, it's the kind of dude asked for a spice rack and a divorce settlement kind of guy, you know this guy This the kind of guy he only have one uh hand Because he probably was doing a boil one time and he dropped one of his um He dropped his car keys into the boil and he reached in for him on accident reflexing
Starting point is 00:56:48 he did a you know, he just had a reflection And Now he only gots one hand, but it still works So he's you know, he's thankful to god Brian all the swamp gods. So Yeah, man, this is a good talk. Thanks for sending us in. Uh And I will say this the food looks absolutely amazing And I would try I might have to try this Dustin uh
Starting point is 00:57:14 Poirier this looked like somebody this guy looked like he's probably in Dustin Poirier's family or from his neighborhood and I would guarantee that So that's a little bit of Louisiana fire right there All right, let's take another call. They came in right here, man. As always nine eight five six six four nine five zero three Hey Theo, this is Chad from Chicago. Hey man, listen I'm sitting here driving home from work and I'm trying to figure out The answer to this question somebody asked me and they asked me Do you think you own the clothes that you're gonna die in? Not the clothes that you're gonna be buried in the ones where
Starting point is 00:57:53 when the when the grizzly bear eats you What clothes are you wearing? And uh I don't know. I don't know if I if I do or I don't know if I want to know if I do Uh, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. I mean, I don't wear a lot of clothes anyway, okay Well the end part that's really That's getting personal I think brother, but Well
Starting point is 00:58:21 Let me think do you that's a good question. What clothes you want to You know head on out in What's that last hero for you for your body? You know, when do you get, you know, because you got to give up the cage sometimes I realize more and more recently that I'm a bird in a cage, man, despite all my rage, bro I am still just a rat in a cage. Actually. That's what the man said, but um I realized that my body is just a thing that I'm in. I'm I'm in my head. I'm
Starting point is 00:59:01 Looking out of my eyes That's where my spirit is. I'm You know, my body is just this kind of like It has this color and texture and vibe to it and You know, I got the rib cage of a damn large cat really but You know, this is who I am, but um, well, I have the clothes that I'm gonna die You know
Starting point is 00:59:32 It's tough, that's yeah, because who you know, they show up. They see oh, he died in that Yeah, I guess I would you know, I have green eyes. I guess I would like to have like a green shirt on maybe or something That's blue or gray, but um I don't want to have like somebody out like a you know, like a Darren sharper jersey or a marshan latimore jersey on I guess in chicago. Maybe it's probably kind of cool if you die on like an urlac or jersey that might be kind of cool um So, yeah, I get I don't know. It's tough. It's tough to know what's the best thing to die in and if I own those clothes already
Starting point is 01:00:06 I guess you have to think of what when you're gonna die when is your year? You know, I don't I go through phases I go through phases where I feel like I'm gonna be really old and then I go through phase where I'm like, oh man You know, I hope there's you know Is this thing you're never gonna show up, you know what I'm saying? Like when I hear the doorbell. I'm like, oh, maybe it's the Grand Reaper Uh, so yeah, that's a good question, man. Do I have those clothes? I I I I you know what? I think I do because I I don't wear a lot of different stuff. I'm pretty minimal when it comes to that
Starting point is 01:00:39 You know, I'm not like brin and chowb. He has to get like a new You know a fucking new bat skin hat every time he goes to um Toledo or something so I don't I don't need all of that. I'm a little bit more simplistic Uh, so I bet I probably do have it man, but thank you for asking And making sure I'm okay. And if I have enough stuff to die in Um, let's take another call that came in man. And you know what actually All right, we got a single mom submission right here. Uh, that came in somebody uh came and somebody recommended this beautiful lady
Starting point is 01:01:15 Uh, and let's see this video game I Hey, this is travis from the bay area I just want to nominate my friend krista and her three little hellion kids for the single moms Um, she's a badass. Okay. Sorry. It's loud I hear building a bridge
Starting point is 01:01:39 Oh, damn, and it's a bridge worker If you can't see the video this man working bridge right here And a bridge is just a road that's fucking brave as fuck dawg if I'm honest with you Other roads look at a bridge and be like damn I bet he gets all the britches You get it bridge bitches um
Starting point is 01:02:04 But yeah, man a bridge is just really it's a fucking road with some bald baby gang. Let's go Um, but yeah krista her three kids She's uh put herself through school. She's put them through hell of sports and uh, she does it all on her own So if you at least give her a shout out or anything, uh, that'd be awesome Um, gang gang the ovan. You're the man, dude. Watch your show every week. Thank you. Oh, thank and later Thanks, bro. Well, it's nice you to be thinking about somebody else today, man. I appreciate that out of you Yeah, and um and thanks. Yeah, let's see if we can't call krista up and see what's going on. Um, okay. Yeah, let's do it Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 01:02:50 Oh, what's up krista Can you hear me? Yeah Okay, hold on one second. I can't hear you. I'm not like a pervert or anything. I just Um, this isn't like chat roulette or anything. I'm just trying to say hey to you now. I can hear you. Can you hear me? Yes, okay. How are you today? I am doing well. How are you good? I don't want to let you know I'm not like a weirdo. I'm not with the government or anything, but um I was just calling you because they had a fellow Uh, this guy
Starting point is 01:03:21 Hey, this is travis a guy named travis. Do you know him? Yeah, I do know him. He's a white guy. He works on a bridge. Yeah Well, he um, I work on a podcast my name is theo and I work on a podcast And he said we do a thing sometimes where we where we reach out and do something nice for single moms and he said Oh, well, I know this lady. She's a single mom and she works really hard and she has um, you know, three great kids and I was raised by a single mom. So um, yeah every now and then we just try and like Uh, just give back to the community. So we just wanted to give you a thousand bucks to go do something fun with your kiddos Are you screened?
Starting point is 01:03:59 Yeah, I'm totally serious So We just thought it would be It's just nice that he thought of you actually you could tell he must think pretty highly of you So My god, thank you so much Oh, you're really welcome. Um What are your kiddos like to do? What kind of kids you got anyway men or women?
Starting point is 01:04:21 I got two boys and a little girl Okay, you got two boys and a girl Yeah Oh, that's nice. What ages are they? nine seven and five Oh dang Oh my god, I can't believe you're even alive then
Starting point is 01:04:40 Yeah That's a lot of pressure. Yeah, my my siblings. We were all two years apart. Um So it's like five clubs some days. Yeah, I bet it is like five club. We should start recording it Oh, especially at bedtime That's funny. Where do you work out? Are you working today? You off today? I am working today. I work at um gi consultants and reno Oh, y'all live in reno Yeah, oh, yeah, boy. I've been over to reno. Do reno is a lot of a a meetings a lot of people donating blood, baby
Starting point is 01:05:13 Let's go Yeah, dude. I've been to some meetings over in reno, boy That's a wild place. So, um, have y'all lived there y'all's whole life No, we just moved here. I moved here with the kids about a year and a half ago. Mm-hmm So I just totally relocated us because it was getting way too expensive where we were in Santa Cruz Oh, yeah, it gets kind of pricey out there, huh? Yeah, so I just relocated us on a hope that everything was gonna work out Dang
Starting point is 01:05:45 And how do you know travis? How do you know him? Travis and I have known each other for Let's see maybe like Eight years. Mm-hmm Yeah, we used to get in trouble together and now we don't Yeah, I feel he's always he's always been one of my best friends. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's cool Yeah, you can tell he thinks he must think pretty highly of you. Um, it was just sweet of me He's sending a nice little video. So you'll be able to see it if if if he shares this with you one day
Starting point is 01:06:14 But um, yeah, but we don't want to take up a bunch of your time we just thought that uh, it was just really nice of them and um Yeah, I just remember when I was young if somebody would have reached out to my mom and just done something Just a little extra sometime. Just just maybe take the edge off for a week. You know, yeah Yeah, cool So amazing Well, look give travis a hug for us when you see him and uh, and um, yeah, what you're gonna go do go do something Fun with the kiddos. What do they like to do? So my little girl likes to do a little or really anything and everything
Starting point is 01:06:48 But the boys are getting real into baseball. So I'm gonna see maybe I can find them Some baseball league to do or outdoors. We're starting to get some nice weather Yeah, that's fun. Do they play in any of those little leagues yet or no? No, well, my son does junior my older one's done junior giants because it's the free one. Oh, yeah So I've had him doing that because I'm like, well, I'm not gonna pay a bunch of money if you're not into it I'd rather you not be into it if it's free. Yeah, we check out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh nice Yeah, there's organized sports. I think it's fun. I think kids really dig that, you know Yeah
Starting point is 01:07:25 They're doing really good. They are Yeah, yeah, my middle one just decided to take a break from gymnastics, which thank god. It's expensive So he's he's he's thinking about his life. He said to decide what he wants to do. Oh, dang. That must be nice I was all damn you're seven What do you have going on? Well, I don't know, but I'm 41 and he and I apparently have the same thing going on. So I can totally relate to that young fella I'm like, you're gonna be doing that for a long time, buddy
Starting point is 01:07:57 You just take that curricular activity. That's all I need you to do. What do you feel like doing? You want to kick a ball? Do you want to hit a ball? What do you want to do? Yeah, I think the less thinking about it He can do and it's the more doing it the better off he'll be probably right Um, well, uh, thanks so much for answering our call today and uh Yeah, my producer nick will follow up with you and you look lovely and it's nice to see you today Oh, thank you And um, and and uh, yeah tell uh tell travis. We said hey when you see him
Starting point is 01:08:24 I will I will Okay, where's the take care. Have a good day You too. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah, you're so welcome. Y'all have fun Hey, send us a picture if you do something fun with the kiddo. Send us a picture. No pet We ain't pedophiles or nothing with us regular people. I totally will. Okay, cool Okay, thank you. Have a good day. Thank you. Have a good day. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye Yeah, she seemed like a sweet lady, man Yeah, I think just a little moment of reprieve for somebody
Starting point is 01:08:56 You know a moment of reprieve for her to just be able to think You know just to be able to love your kids without that extra stress of And I I'm not saying we're doing a ton. We're not changing anybody's life but Just have a moment, man I don't think when I was a kid if some man would have come by or a woman anybody and I'm sure people do look the The government does it, you know, you can get help and get assistance and we got all of that growing up and Man, it just makes me feel
Starting point is 01:09:36 You know, it makes me feel Grateful for time really That time gives you the opportunity to go back and kind of see what's going on So Yeah Time gives you the opportunity to kind of go back and uh You know just sew up little Tears in your own story
Starting point is 01:10:08 By using the thread of um Of each other You know in a weird way and maybe that selfish to think of it that way. It's not selfish, but maybe you know everything's selfish in a way but it's just You know, I don't know. It just makes me feel nice that uh that You know, there'll be a little extra opportunity for them to do something fun together as a family Um, and thank you guys for supporting this past weekend. Let's get another call that came in right here, man. Um
Starting point is 01:10:37 And uh, what do we got here? Hey Dio, it's uh, Mike Ambrose calling from london, ontario Uh, big mic out of canada dog and I don't know what y'all are doing up there, but Shit if it gets weirder down here, bro, I might come up there and join your family. Let's go pop pop gang up here in canada I just Love listening to your podcast, man. You do a great job. I mean a lot of emotions
Starting point is 01:11:10 Every single episode and you know, who doesn't love that Uh, just you know, you know, maybe some tips you could help me out with uh, then uh, semis, uh, professional baseball player for about, you know, four or five years now Oh, yeah, and I know what you're saying. You mean doing drugs, baby. I feel you, baby I used to say stuff like that. I want my semi pro ball player people are like, oh, you're doing drugs So But go on brother. I feel you Um before that, you know went to college did the whole thing. Um, especially being from canada. It was tough
Starting point is 01:11:51 You know going over the states to play ball. I lived in australia for two years Um time of my life, uh, but now, you know, oh, yeah and lived in australia Is obviously another term for doing drugs um So I feel you baby the code language daddy, you know what i'm saying Uh Spending time at grandma's house. I know what you're saying, baby. Let's hear it. You know, I just this past december Um, the 12th had a beautiful baby girl. Okay, you know, you got that offspring now, baby
Starting point is 01:12:25 You got that offspring now. You got something to worry about now. You got a real rock to smoke daddy. Let's hear it and uh She's been, you know, absolutely amazing, but I think it's time to you know, now You know turn the page and start that family life. I just wanted no, uh, Your thought you think I should just keep it keep it buzzing or should I uh, you know staying it and Hang out with the two ladies of my life, uh Keep it buzzing. What are you talking about son? Okay
Starting point is 01:12:55 You live in canada brother. It ain't it ain't but you know what i'm saying the buzzing It ain't that insane You know what i'm saying you would I mean You know as crazy as it gets is kind of ice cream, you know what i'm saying like let's don't be uh You can't keep it. What are you gonna? You have a child now. What do you mean? You're gonna keep it buzzing What are you gonna do? You're gonna keep playing pro ball daddy. You're gonna keep smoking rock Huh, you're gonna keep using
Starting point is 01:13:26 You're gonna take care of your wife and kid man If it's your wife, I don't know You didn't say he wasn't married up or you guys and it was nuptialed up You know And maybe the dope haze has been too heavy in your daddy But I believe that it's time. Yeah If you got something living that came out of your wiener, you got to take you got to take care of it, baby You know and I love you mic and I feel like
Starting point is 01:13:55 You know, I don't want to be the one to You know serve you the cold cock, baby You know, but consider me that freaking um that matron dick. You know what i'm saying i'm that head waiter, baby And i'm serving you that cold cock a truth dog And the truth is yeah, there's no You know You got to you got to settle you got to tighten it up You can't be sleeping in your car doing canadian drugs
Starting point is 01:14:26 Even though they're cheaper Um, you know when you get them directly, you know, we don't have to go through big pharma, but anyway, man, um Yeah, I wish you the best of luck brother. I really do and I hope you definitely You know, you get it figured out up there. Praise god, baby Okay, let's take another call here. Here we go Hey thio, this is scott again from tennessee What's up scott and um
Starting point is 01:14:54 Thank you for calling brother from tennessee, man And that is a unique state. It's a very long state. It's basically that sideways florida, baby. Let's hear it And i'm out here in virginia Okay, so now you move to somewhere. Okay. All right scott Working on storm crew and we're taking care of all these hangers and all these dangerous limbs after storms Okay, so you out there on that limb trek And you out there checking lean wood, baby, I feel you And reaching for lean wood, baby gang
Starting point is 01:15:29 And I just wanted to call and ask About how I could help my girlfriend Trust me more while i'm not here We have a lot of issues with that She always thinks i'm not drinking with the guys when i'm really just at the hotel And I just wanted to ask what you thought I could do to make her feel better about all this Thank you very much gang gang gang, baby
Starting point is 01:15:53 And thank you for reaching out man and Look, we all know you're out drinking with the guys got you and that's fine nobody's you know Nobody's mad at you or anything like that But yeah, you got to make sure that your wife is content because they will steal stuff while you're gone and they will A lot of them will even do arson now. There's a lot of mexican women and a lot of women in um um
Starting point is 01:16:23 New mexico doing arson And anyway The bottom line here i'm seeing is um I mean first of all If you're in a tree every day and you out there hunting uh limbs and stuff Chisel a little note to the lay, you know Scotty loves, you know, teresa or whatever Scotty loves diane put it in the wood man chisel it in there
Starting point is 01:16:48 Leave that advertisement out there a snap or a photo center that Say here. I just chiseled this into the side of a you know a birch out here Outside of uh rowanoke or whatever Of our jenya beach, baby You know what i'm saying you could do stuff like that When you get back to the hotel center that picture right here. I am right here about an ice maker about a hampton inn, baby I'm chill and so is this machine, you know cute little things like that But yeah, some of it's it's interesting sometimes we'll use jealousy also to express that we care it could just be her saying look i care
Starting point is 01:17:29 But i'm afraid to just say it like that Instead i do jealousy Or i do, you know trust, you know, they don't They don't trust you But it's hard man getting somebody's trust You know i've never been real good at it man You know sometimes i think i don't know if i want people to trust me in a weird way Because trust you have to have a trust means there's a connection trust means
Starting point is 01:18:04 Trust is there's responsibility You know trust is just that damn condiment You know trust is just that damn condiment You know on that responsibility bond, baby And so yeah, if you got trust with somebody you're gonna be that's a lifetime You know, it's a that's an ongoing commitment that we're gonna behave a certain way and we're gonna Communicate a certain way and honor each other's time and damn It sounds like a lot
Starting point is 01:18:42 But i think an easy way to see if you could start man if you're real serious about it I've had times in my life i wasn't even real i would get a girl to trust me but at the same time be doing untrustful stuff Being trustful untrustful So It's tough man, but i think yeah chiseler some shitting into the tree You know Tommy loves robin or whatever, you know scottie loves vivi and some you know do something nice Do some cute little things like that
Starting point is 01:19:25 I think that could definitely help Or get one of those big johnson t-shirts remember them go look at them on ebay's big johnson They got some cute stuff they make um Let's take one more call it came in man Here we go nine eight five six six four nine five zero three and i'ma let you know also that uh The last website i've ever needed is now theo von.com and that was made by a company called modify They do great business websites and they have a new program called the last website you will ever need
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Starting point is 01:20:25 Visit modify modi py.com slash theo and get a two hundred and fifty dollar credit When you subscribe for your world-class website Again, that's modify with a ph modi b i ph y dot com slash th e o support small businesses that do a big job They've done great for us modify dot com slash theo Let's hit this hot Line right here here we go What's up theo
Starting point is 01:21:04 from north carolina 16 years old and uh This morning. I just got the news that my grandpa passed away Oh, man. I'm sorry, bro I'm sorry about that. Yeah 16 a lot of people You know grandparents are really I mean another damn hamsters of the uh
Starting point is 01:21:31 You know of the family in a lot of ways they They'll kind of go out on you let's hear it And it was really really strange because I mean just a week ago, you know, I was sitting on this couch You know talking to him But I mean it's just so sudden That I mean I really don't even believe it. I mean I haven't even cried or You know been angry or anything. I just like I can't believe it But uh, yeah, I just want to know how you deal with
Starting point is 01:22:03 You know deaths that are just kind of unexpected and you know come out of nowhere Well, you know, thanks for the call man and death Death is all It's like how it's like there's this force playing hide-and-go-seek or playing freeze tag and you didn't even know you're in it You forget you're playing this game of freeze tag With time And man when it touches you that's
Starting point is 01:22:45 It must be so just to people who when you get to that's how it is, you know, it's like oh Okay, that's my turn. All right. Wow Okay, I got it this no more I got a And you don't get to pack your things that's got to be a wild part I bet when people first say, you know, if doctor tells you, you know, it's your time. It's your turn. I bet I go home and start to pack Just out of habit You know, I'm used to going somewhere or being somewhere But uh
Starting point is 01:23:29 But yeah, now it's like you get You get that calling there's nothing to pack all you can do is kind of pack Almost as unpacking You know, hopefully you have enough time to unpack your bullshit To unpack a you know a couple bags of forgiveness unpack a few apologies unpack all the The fire you've been holding you gotta unpack it some You know, I don't I was at a my grandparents didn't really I don't know
Starting point is 01:24:16 My grandmother wasn't super keen on me and so I didn't have much of a relationship with her as I got into my teens and stuff and But I've always had a strong affinity for seniors, you know, my father was a senior and um And so I've always had a you know a warm place in my heart for him and it's interesting that A lot of older people they kind of I feel like a little bit they're ready to go Because after you've done it all after you've had all the tiramisu you've wanted and You've traveled to the places you wanted to go or were brave enough to take on the adventures you could take on Your shell your body starts to die so really do you just this
Starting point is 01:25:19 You're almost like when you whenever you see a firefly inside of a little lantern or something Or like tinkerbell on peter pans when you see it The cage the cage dies man But that hitter baby is that that tinker dog That's the part that Zips off to somewhere else So Your grandpa's probably happy to get out of that old-ass cage, I bet
Starting point is 01:25:54 I Bet that has to feel pretty freeing, you know almost like the first time you get to drive a car when you're You know in Louisiana you could drive when you're 15 when I was child you could drive 15 years old Some people hadn't even jerked off their own body and they were driving Which was crazy to ask somebody if they could bust out and they couldn't but they could you know do reverse You know there's different times but um Anyway, man, I don't know what I'm telling I don't know exactly what I'm telling you but Yeah, you got that tankers left in the tank
Starting point is 01:26:36 When the tank rust so really I bet for your grandfather it's like him It's like the first time you got to go down the road and drive yourself. God. There's nothing like that Just the freedom you feel like I'm free I'm free I'm away from her that you're away from your parent the first time you venture down the street before you get to the stop sign And you got to turn and make a decision and shit. It gets scary then but before that There's a blood there's a little bit of space where you're like, oh my god Your folks are standing back in the driveway and they don't know you know and you're going like wow I bet that's what it's like
Starting point is 01:27:31 It's just you know at that point when you're young you're getting you know You're shedding that skin of your parents constant you know nesting over you and You having to ask them for a ride or having to walk to work or do the bus And now suddenly you live in freelance So I bet that's what it's like your grandpa He's probably in that night, you know
Starting point is 01:27:57 He's in that 1984 Ford escort in the sky And he's Listening to some abbey road by the Beatles or some damn Nelly And he's just feeling good, bro He's living He's living again So I bet there's some real I bet he's off on a ride man
Starting point is 01:28:25 So You know, maybe do some shit to honor him wishing well, maybe Yeah And make the use of the most out of your cage while you got it Make the most out of your cage while you got it, man Um I think we did pretty good, man I think we did pretty good
Starting point is 01:28:53 You know That's all I got That's all I got Uh What a great song that we came in on we got Heather McMahon is going to be in this week beautiful comedian Out of uh New york and atlanta We're trying to think of unique guests
Starting point is 01:29:17 If you think it's somebody unique let us know Thank you so much for supporting this podcast You know, I'm grateful to have a The opportunity to be here with you every week And if continue to do this now for a couple years now And um And the last year has been really hard, but you guys have really been there for me and we've been there for each other Bruin, that's how we do it here
Starting point is 01:29:41 We do our best. I feel like to just kind of keep it going So I don't think we should stop that, you know I'm going to wish everyone a happy early easter Um You know, it's a nice time. It's really a usually a beautiful time of year. I hope that spring time is starting to hit everyone I remember going into our easter party one time they had this lady That lived by us and she was doing She was female pedophile actually, but the guys she was seeing were
Starting point is 01:30:16 16 years old and they were big men. They were really I mean just Bigger than regular men. I'd seen these men were these boys were big and She would invite them over to Do learning and stuff or spelling and they would just do sex or really drink Or they would spell words like fucking And um They had an easter party one time and I wandered in there
Starting point is 01:30:43 I was a kid and I'd sneak over there sometimes and get that While they're all smoking cigarettes, I'd get as much cigarette smoke as I could into my mouth and shit And just fucking feel alive, bro God it made me feel alive and one time I sprayed mace in there. I didn't know What was going on exactly but I sprayed a little bit of mace in the air at the dance party when they were dancing and You know You know It's gonna be 50 seconds later a minute and 10 seconds later
Starting point is 01:31:20 People crying and pouring milk in their eyes one guy kept pouring milk in his eyes. I remember And uh You know, it's just I don't know it's a holiday time man I'm excited. I'm hoping to go to Baton Rouge, Louisiana and see my family And I hope some of you guys get to spend time with your loved ones Um I'm off jiu-jitsu right now for another week my all my ribs heal up. I think I have a fractured rib Uh
Starting point is 01:31:53 So I'm just trying to make the most of the time the downtime that I have um And that's all that's going on with me. Thank you guys for the calls. Let me know what's going on with you Thank you for the suggestions for the um quote for the man And uh, thank you guys for patreon for supporting this past weekend And uh, and you guys be good to yourself man You guys deserve it
Starting point is 01:32:19 This is the come up with eddie nine v And we'll put that video montage at the very end guys Yeah I'm on a come up. Yeah Feels real good after I've been so blue I'm on the come up It feels so good to have a brand new view. Come on up. Let's go Come on
Starting point is 01:33:12 Well, I just moved up to lucky street when I made a game and said to me you're on the come up He's gonna come up And it's plain to see between you and me. We got so much love and chemistry. It's about to come up He's gonna come up Well, good things keep on coming and there ain't gonna be no running. You know, I'm on the come up Well, I just got home and now I'm back. I got so many people asking where I'm at I've been to Tennessee and oh, hi. Oh a task. Oh, so when I know I'm gonna come Nothing really more to say
Starting point is 01:34:08 Well, if you're asking me what I really want to do is just come right back make love to you. I'm gonna come up He's gonna come up Come on Eddie Oh, yeah, I'm on the come up I'm gonna come up And right there that's uh, they come up with 89 v you guys be good to yourselves man. Y'all deserve it. Thank you So I feel it's jack and indiana here. We got a young man who uh Needs a little help on a senior quote for his year, but uh, I'ma let him I'ma let him play dry his mind real quick
Starting point is 01:34:59 So my little advice to you if you're gonna do a senior quote is uh, just keep it short and simple But keep it slick, you know, you want something to Make the girls in 10 years be like damn. I wonder what he's up to nowadays, man. He's kind of slick, you know So just keep it short and simple give a little something like I'm the man of the hour Too sweet to be sour. Dang. Hi, my name is Kevin. I'm from Toronto, Ontario. I have two suggestions My first is from you Theo, which is um an event is like regular time only more special Which I think is fairly profound and then my second is one that I used when I was in My senior year and that's um, Andrew Santino is a stupid ugly ginger
Starting point is 01:35:36 gang gang What's going on Theo? My name is Alex. I'm from st. Louis, Missouri I got a suggestion for Zachary's yearbook quote. I think it should be the classic goodfellas All my life Growing up. I always wanted to be a gangster. I think that would be pretty cool to put in the yearbook Uh, hope this makes it on the show. Thanks, man What up, Theo? This is Ryan Minneapolis Mantis, baby Uh, listen to your episode today
Starting point is 01:36:13 Uh about uh and the guy called up about the uh yearbook quote My yearbook quote was Of all my friends. I am the leader And a lot of my friends didn't appreciate that shit and uh Uh, it didn't go well, but I still think it's funny. I I still get a kick out of that I'm I'm still glad I did it. So to that young buck out there looking for a quote do something that uh, you know, you're gonna you're gonna find entertaining or
Starting point is 01:36:48 Funny or whatever in the future and don't worry about your friends because chances are you're not gonna have those friends You know 20 years from now or whatever All right, that's it. Thanks. Theo. Love you, buck

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