This Past Weekend - E342 Close Frisbee

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Theo takes calls from listeners who got "big wins" recently, talks about what really goes down in Hampton Inns and helps out a soldier leaving the military figure out his next step in life. Plus, Theo surprises a hard-working, single mom and her kids with a FaceTime call. New Merch: https://theovonstore.com​ New Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour Music: “Runs in the Family” - Matthew Koziol “Baptise Me” - Robert Randolph and the Family Band Support our Sponsors: Mack Weldon: https://mackweldon.com/TheoUpstart: https://upstart.com/TheoLiquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com Podcastville mugs and digital prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to [e-mail]. Hit the Hotline [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All right, check, baby. I'm trying to get wet, man. That's one thing. And I'm trying to get wet. I noticed I'm trying in the summer. I'm trying to get wet. And that was always a key deal for me as a child, you know. We had a fellow that lived down the street from us, a little fella named Boogie, you know, and he was mixed, man, a little black, white. I mean, his daddy was white and they pretended his mom was, his mom was, well, his daddy knocked up the woman that swept out the school bus. His daddy was our bus driver, Big Milford, and he didn't, you know, he didn't know a lot of the letters of the alphabet and you'd

sometimes you'd surprise and you'd show him on a thing, you know, QRST and he didn't, he just couldn't stand. He don't, he would kind of shut down. He just couldn't handle it. You know, he'd never been, you know, he'd never been educationally succumbed to the truth. And anyway, but he drove the school bus and he eventually got laid off for driving shirtless and driving under the influence of alcohol and running the button and hitting stuff with the bus, trees and other stuff that you just can't do if you have children on board, you know. And anyway, but so what happened, he, he knocked up a lady that swept out the school bus and this was a black woman and he knocked her up and so they had a child, but they pretended

that the child was with him and his regular white wife. So it was just, you know, it was just a real ferris wheel of, of sex and secrets and, and school bussery type shit, you know, praise God, baby. Let's get into it. This is Matthew Casio runs in the family. Let's go. It's just a matter of time. There ain't no stop in the sun. I can't watch the scene from the head and maybe can I run what runs in the family?

There you go. Right there. That's Matthew Casio runs in the family and we out here, baby. I'm out here like a damn, uh, like a dolphin in a damn, uh, at a gay spa, baby. We out here. You know, and I, and I want to say shout out to everybody that's gay and that's being, you know, or, you know, considering being gay, man. You guys are doing great and, you know, and I will comment as well one time, and I may have shared this to one of the more, one of the more kind of, uh, homoerotic type of atmospheres I've ever seen. I saw a, you know, a group of gay men throwing a frisbee together in a, um, hot tub, and they were so close together, they couldn't even,

you couldn't throw, I mean, there wasn't, one of the guys, two of the guys was too close together to even throw it. They had to, he basically had to like put his arm straight and then hand it to the other, hand it to the guy basically. So it was like, and I, I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, what that was about or what I'm really saying there, but I just, and I love Hampton in man. God, I love Hampton in man. I just, you know, I love the, they redid them about, I want to say 12 years ago, and they put these kind of black and white pictures on the inside of the elevator doors that are kind of welcoming and there's like a child on a swing or something and, you know, there's a little baby eating a damn egg or something and it just makes you feel good.

And you know, Hampton in, they got a, they have a concierge breakfast downstairs and concierge breakfast is basically, I think it was, I don't know when it started, but the whole thing started with during war times, they would, somebody had to get up and make the breakfast of the Colonel and they would make it quick. It would be just kind of, you know, so he could dine and then dash and hit the field and that was concierge breakfast. But I don't know what war, it could have been a lot of wars. I'm sure it wasn't one war. And I don't know why Hampton in took on a damn war fee, you know, why they adapted some of their feeding styles from war seems really kind of next level to me. But you know, God does what he does. And

what else, man? I don't even know what I'm talking about exactly. I had some family come in town this weekend. We had a nice time. I went skeet shooting. You know, I'm out here in the central East and there's not, you know, there's a lot of people shoot stuff around here. And it's not usually other people. You know, in big city, people like to shoot kind of other people and and more rural areas, they like to shoot stuff. And so out here, we went to some skeet shooting. And it was fun, man. I'd never done it. You know, they loaded up a shotgun. I'm out there. We went out to kid Rocks house, actually, and he gots I mean, he lives in a beautiful trailer. Really, it's a it's a trailer like, you know, like you see the style they got, you know, it's nice though,

they have a nice they have two couches in it. But off the back, they have this little man made kind of lake. And he had a skeet fire right off the back. And so we're out there, man. And and people showed me how to shoot skeet. And next thing you know, I'm out there just Elmer Fuddon on them. And I'm upstairs, baby. If you want to know where I'm at on the winner's bracket, I'm upstairs. Okay, come upstairs. But that was enjoyable. What else? I got some dang azaleas. And that's it's interesting as a man, something's going on with you as a man when you buy a few azaleas I'm noticing. You know, and I don't know what's I mean, it's

you know, I just I got I just I bought 14 of them. And, you know, they just there's face I have a yard and so I have to there's got to be something in it. You can't just have a damn stale yard and there's nothing out there. And I've thought about getting two goats, but they don't. Some of the websites I'm reading about goats as they're really loud. So I don't know if I want to deal with the noise complaints and having cops come back there. And then they see, you know, it's me. And I'm just living by myself and I have 14 azaleas and two goats. I mean, damn, you know, I don't know if that's kind of the kind of stuff that I want. But yeah, that was good, man. So that's, you know, that's what happened this week.

I'm trying to think of what else is going on. Not much, man, I'm just growing up, you know, I've been realizing that I'm growing up and honestly, sometimes, man, I'm growing a little bit lonesome. You know, I grow a little bit lonesome. It's like I'm, I'm at home sometimes and there's nobody there, you know, and I'm not complaining. I'm not. Oh, what was me, you know, like, I'm just thinking about it. You know, when it's titty time of year, you know that this is when the calendar breaks out, then boy goes, baby, then front bags, you know what I'm saying, then fricking sternum, worthers, baby, you know what I'm saying, then big caramels, then nippled huskies, you feel me, tit time, baby, this is tit time because it's summer.

So this is when it's a good time to get out there and meet somebody. So we'll see. Because yeah, I start thinking about that next chapter of my life and what it would be like, you know, and get me a little offspring and get me a damn, you know, get a little bird or something or get a damn, you know, get me a couple living items. So when I come home, something yells or barks or shits or something, you know, I start thinking about it. Because one thing I realize is the pattern that I'm in, it just gets, it just gets old after a while. It's not bad, but it just kind of, you start looking, you know, you wonder what else is there something else. And it's not to be found. I don't think in like worldly things like in

a vacation or a, you know, buy you some speakers for the car, you know, get you a couple 22s or something. You know, it's not, it's not the kind of thing that you can solve by getting 14 azaleas. You know, and I think it's figuring out how to be in a relationship and get into some real love where I can, you know, get a little baby out of somebody out of some woman's body and be like that. Because it also starts getting weird when like all your friends have children that are old, they're getting like older. And it's like, it gets a little, you're like, who's that, you know, you just don't, at a certain point, you, there's nobody left. There's the, you know, there's not as many people to even call or do as much with in some ways because

everybody's moved on or adapted into different realms of life. So, you know, I think I've been thinking about that some. And then I start thinking about what it's going to take for me to get to a place like that to get to be able to be, you know, in a serious relationship where I'm going to stay in it and be honest and, you know, not be, you know, running around or trying to play close frisbee with some woman, some strange woman at a Hampton Inn, you know what I'm saying. Because close frisbee is obviously a gateway drug. I feel like possibly the homosexuality. Praise God, man. And shout out to everybody that's got, I think gay pride is coming up actually. I saw a woman yesterday, she had a haircut and she said something about gay pride, she said.

So, yeah, July looks like, well, hell, I don't know. March, I don't know. But that's something that's going on. Something else that's going on. I'm drinking liquid death and you know, it's a great, it's a good drink. People think it's a beer. You see a child drinking it outside of a damn 7-Eleven and you see the cops pull up and taze him, you know. And then they go over and it's just water. You know, tough kid, thank God. I want to tell you this, I got tour dates and I'm getting excited. I'm working on some new materials. So this is going to be, this is going to be a joy, man. It's going to be starting in St. Louis, Friday, September 17th. That show's sold out and we've added one on the 17th. Then we go to Cincinnati

on the 18th. And that looks like it's sold out. We may be adding another one there. We have Charlotte, then Durham. We added a new show in Durham, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Tennessee, Wilmington, Delaware, Wilkes Byer, PA, Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm grateful to be coming back there. That one's sold out. So we added a new one. Charleston, South Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Black Main, they call it. Albany sold out. We added one. Buffalo and Columbus, Ohio, that's sold out. And we, we have added one. If it doesn't show added, it'll show it this week. So thank you guys for the support. You know, it's interesting. I even just look at the Chattanooga date and I remember the night after my, you know, I have a comedy special. It's out there on Netflix.

And after I had done the comedy special, my first shows were in Chattanooga. And so I'm excited. You know, I'm thinking this is it. We did it. You know, I'm on Netflix and we did it. And, and we made it. And I get to the car, I get to the venue. And I want to say I've gotten in a night before I don't remember, but I get over to the venue that day. And I did, I got in the night before I went to radio in the morning. And I got over to the venue and, and there was probably seven people there. And I was like, damn. He just, you know, the comedy special, it just didn't move the needle. They didn't put it in a circulation on the side. And, you know, there was some doxers, people that came out, that kind of stuff, but online, but it just didn't do it.

And so, man, that was a tough weekend. Because, and also the stage was really high from the audience. So the audience that it was like 10 feet down off the stage. And he almost is almost, I felt like they were trapped. Like I was telling jokes to people that were waiting for fire and rescue. It was like, you know, and then, you know, and, uh, and, uh, upstairs. And I literally was upstairs. I mean, I was like way high up compared to these people. At one point, I wanted to throw a rope down. I just felt very obtuse, you know, what was going on there. And, um, so anyway, so I'm excited about all those dates. Theovon.com slash tour. You can get tickets, because now we're playing at a theater. And I think we already have sold it out, maybe almost in Chattanooga.

And so, I mean, it's just a blessing. You know, it's a thousand or something people are 50. I don't even know what it is, but it's, um, man, and that's the power of this podcast, man. And I want to thank you guys so much, you know, uh, you know, for just for making me the opportunity. And I promise I'm going to bring the best stuff that I can to you. And we're going to enjoy it. You know what I'm saying? Like four fellas in a damn Hampton. It's like four Frisbee fellas in a Hampton in spa, baby. Four Frisbee fellas in a Hampton in hot tub. Let's go. And then one of the guys said to the other, he's like, you guys go on that side. I was like, there's no sides, bro. There's no sides in a Hampton in hot tub cat daddy. Praise God, man. You know,

and, um, and we've all, I'm trying to think of everybody. I wonder when the first time you ever ran, you know, met someone who was gay, or if you realized maybe if you could have been that person. You know, when I was young, there was a lot of rumored gay men. They didn't have gay women when I was young. I don't think, but they had gay men and, uh, there was one fella and he had, I don't know if he'd been hit by, but I don't know what happened to him. Something happened to him. He was born without a heart or something. I don't know. I don't know what happened to him. He had autism or something. And, uh, and his mom, he was probably 40 when I met him. And he, he would, he would ride one of those bicycles that had the child seat on the back, that baby seat,

that little scoop and score baby, that little, you know, look like part of a bucket on the back, and that's where the baby would sit. And that man would drive around town that bike all the time. And somebody said that the baby seat was a, he had a husband. They used to sit back there and like a little husband because it was a woman's bike. It was, remember moms used to have this bike where now the kid's in like this little thing and it's got like these roll bars and like, you know, now the kid, whatever, you know, the kid don't have a chance of getting hurt. But when I was young, you had, you sat in the back behind mom, you know, just, you were in the bike, the baby, the baby, the bike, the, the, uh, uh, you were, you know, you were downstairs, you know, saying you was

downstairs, man. You was behind mom, just bouncing back there, birds shitting on you, you know, didn't even matter. He could be back there smoking. Mom had no idea. She could, it was impossible for mom to even see you. So you were just back there, you know. And so he was on the front of the woman's bike and the back was a baby seat and it had, um, and people said that the man had a little husband that had left him. And so as a child, that was just, you know, the rumor in our town that this dude or this gentleman really are, you know, this guy, he, uh, he had a little husband that left him and it broke his heart or something. And so, but really later on, I realized the man was mentally ill and that he just, he'd been born, I want to say he was born that way. Also, he

could have been hit by a vehicle, but he, it was either nature or nurture, you know, and God bless him. And, but the rumor was that the man was a gay man when I was young. And so it's just interesting how you first hear about, uh, gay men or see a first gay man or get an idea about it. You know, it's just really fascinating how that comes into people's lives. Uh, that aren't, I'm sure. Well, even if you are a gay, I'm sure you still have a certain moment where it's like, oh, this is, you know, this is something that's going on. So, but anyway, what else do we have, man? Um, you know, I want to thank you guys. Yeah, I want to thank you guys for this tour of some places already selling and I'm excited about it. And I'm going to grasp onto a name soon. We had a couple

of names that came in and I want to listen to a few more that came in from, from somebody. And thank you, uh, in advance. Here we go. Hey, what's up, Theo? Or, or, I mean, probably Nick will listen to this, but, um, I know I've called several times on these Chris, man. I lived in, uh, Houston from, uh, from back down Rouge. But I just wanted to say, but I think it'd be a really cool name for your special to call it, uh, let's be honest. Cause I know you dropped that a lot on your pod and you usually make some pretty awesome points. Uh, when after you say that, well, thanks Chris, man. I appreciate that's a nice one, man. Let's be honest, man. Cause you try to be,

you know, you try to be honest, the battle to be honest. It's easy, but man, it's, there's some tempting little tributaries skirting off the river of truth, isn't there? There's some lascivious, licorice, liquid alleyways, just leaking off that river of truth, man. Uh, let's be honest. I like that one, man. I really liked that one. Um, and let's take one more. That came in one more suggestion. What up, Theo? I just listened to the most recent episode and I heard some of the suggestions for your tour name. I was thinking, bro,

bro, why not there? Get that hitter tour. You know, get that hitter, get that sitter. Come on out, come to the show. Oh gang, get that hitter, get that sitter. Now that's a real little vibe right there. That's a real tempting deal, which you're saying, but that's called a tempting deal when somebody says something and, and you feel tempted by it. That's a tempting deal. And if you and I were in a hot tub, I'd throw you the frisbee on that one, both of you guys. I thought about the be good tour yourself, but that's kind of too much of a play on words. I've been thinking about it. I've also been waiting for when I'm on stage for something to strike me, but I like, let's be honest. I like get that hitter. Um, and I appreciate it, man. Appreciate you guys caring enough to even

submit them, man. I appreciate that. You know, a lot of beautiful stuff came in, uh, for this episode. We'll get into some of it. Um, and I'm going to play this a video question that came in first from someone. Uh, here we go. Derek from Battleground, Washington. Uh, what's up Derek from Battlegrounder? Uh, I never been up there. Washington is interesting because you're over by the coast, you get Seattle, you get Tacoma and then after that, it's anybody's ballgame. You know, it's basically like, I mean, it's a lot of people making homemade furniture out of hemp and, uh, and watching animals mate. If you go east of there and, and both of those are, you know, legitimate practices. So praise brother onward. Say I love your podcast. Love what you're doing

over there and, uh, I had a quick question for you. Uh, some of my family members doing this thing where they, uh, take saunas together. It's usually all grown men. They all have wives. They do, they take them nude, nude saunas and, uh, you know, I'm not really into that kind of stuff. I just want to get your thoughts on it. If you'd ever do it or ever thought, heard of it or thought of doing it, you know, but yeah, anyways, gang, gang, gang brother. And, um, you know, I'm sorry. Your family's going through that and that you're having a, you know, call for, you know, help about that. And thank you. Um, you know, going to saunas and doing steams. It's just so ironic. This call came in because

of what I was talking about earlier at that Hampton in and that's one time, some ways, uh, gay men are less inhibited. They're almost really the native Americans of our time in some ways and no offense of anybody's native American. You guys are the original native Americans, but then it goes really almost to aggressive gay men because with sunburn because you, they will do a lot of male stuff that's kind of bonding. And a long time ago, if you look on a lot of hieroglyphs, you know, or or, you know, if you look in, you know, history books, a lot of native Americans would do saunas, they would do steam huts and get in there and smoke each, they would just be as high as fuck and as many rocks as you can get in there. And people's just damn just feeling that warm geology, just

cook them to the bone. Shout out, Bryce Mitchell. And you just, and they would do that together and they would encourage each other, you know, Ronnie or Coontar, dang, you know, Wiffle ball or, you know, sitting river, the different, you know, and I'm pulling from all different walks of life here, but there, everybody would encourage each other to stay in there and bear the heat and bear the pain. And then they would leave, you know, and they, but they'd have gone through something together. And there's, there's, there's some real strong value in that. There's some metamorphosis in a way that, that I don't know if we get anymore, we, our souls these days, sometimes I feel like our soul is just out of the ocean and it's just,

it's got stuck on the beach, especially here in America, you know, and I'm obviously, you know, I'm, I'm talking as a white or semi-white from a first world country. But, and I don't, you know, and maybe some of this is just more later in my life as I've, you know, I've come into more opportunity and a little more wealth later recently. And, but yeah, I don't know, there's something there's about being in the ocean, about being in the storm, just being weathered and going through things, you know? And then, because it does something to your soul. You know, I really feel like it does, you know, time when you take your soul and add time and you add, you know, you just add a, you know, you need a weather report. You can't just have it just

be the beach. You know, we're not challenging our, we don't have that internal challenge. You know, we don't have that, that struggle that's, that's on us. You know, we don't have that turmoil that makes us into treasure or shows us what our, we don't, we're not, there's less revealed to our spirit when we're in comfort. And, but yeah, I mean, it's a little weird if your family's getting together in an empty above ground pool and just having sandwiches and shit, you know, and drinking cold water. I mean, that's shit. That's probably some of that stuff. Honestly, Derek could be a drug induced. And, you know, I grew up around a lot of that over there and over McGee street over in Covington, Louisiana, they had about seven houses down from us. They had

a above ground pool and men would meet up and over there at night or in the daytime when it was cool out and put some chairs in it and stuff and they would do drugs and drink cold water and shit like that. And it was almost, you know, I'm not going to say that they got into homosexuality, but they considered it, I'm sure, and probably got into it. So it's, you know, it's just that kind of, you know, it's, it's hit or miss out there with some of these so on us, but, but there's a lot of gay men or they know they are, or they spend a lot of male bonding time doing stuff like saunas, ice baths and things like that where you are, where it used to be a lot more tribal, where you would show your body, you know, and one time, you know, a buddy of mine and he was a, you know,

a nice cool guy and urban gentleman and he, you know, he had that hawk on him, baby. He had that body lumber, baby, that wiener and he walked in front of a group of our friends naked to go into the showers. And I was still like, over by like the kind of the locker area and stuff like that. And so I, I, I was like, dang, well, I gotta, I can't walk in like all clothed and then take my clothes off in the shower. I'm going to be such a wimp. So I'm like, I got to get naked here and then walk in front of all the guys to get over there, you know, and just be cool about it and be casual. But my penis was definitely doing that punks a tiny fill, you know, this thing had seen its shadow, this thing, I don't know what it was doing. It was almost like it, you know, it was

almost seemed like I didn't even have a penis. And so I'm literally trying to get my penis at least enough. So when I walk by the guys, they don't look and see I don't have any penis. That's not, you know, you can't do that around your buddies at like an incremental age. This was, this was socially incremental. And you can't do that. You know, I needed to stay on the staircase, moving upward socially, you know, I needed to get upstairs. And so I did, I literally was just, I remember I had a wall that I was kind of trying to whip my wiener against the side of my wall. I was doing anything to get my body to really enjoy some blood flow. And finally, man, I got, I don't know, I probably got down nine thimbles of blood into my wiener. And I just said, this is

the best I'm going to do. And so I had to scoot, then I scooted in front of people and I moved pretty fast. And I even think I walked sideways so they would just see my, my derriere, baby, that French ass. But thank you, Derek, for, for sharing that. And, you know, I think there's two ways to look at it. One is that it could be, you know, leading, it could be a slippery slope for drug use or it could be, you know, you guys getting real primal, you know, and next thing you guys are doing is burning each other with coals and doing tattoos on each other and out there, Wim Hof and up near each other's ass cheeks, baby, praise God, brother. And I love you. All right, man. Oh, I want to tell you about this. And you know it. And you should know it, man.

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two free pillows. And hey, nothing to help you get a woman or a man over there if you love men than an extra pillow. That's a good pickup line. Hey, you know I got an extra pillow. So there you go. Oh man. What else? The world's things are getting back to busy. You know, it's interesting. I feel I'm curious how the next year is going to be. You know, I feel like a lot of the fabric of our society really kind of has been really denigrated over time over the pandemic. You know, it used to be that, you know, you had the week and it meant something in the month and the holidays and you know. But now it's,

I feel like, you know, it's all, time doesn't mean as much. It's just, it's all confusing still. There's all, there's still all this, it feels like a Rubik's Cube out there. You know, and you also have talked about it before, but they had a lot of like, you know, you had a lot of political and social commentary and disruption and unrest and adjustment. And you had a lot of history that some people said shouldn't be history and that, you know, that kind of stuff affects places and people and communities. And something you once prided or thought was a part of your youth or your childhood or memories. And now when people say it doesn't mean anything or it's, or that's not realistic or that doesn't

fit with what I think or they think or you think or whatever, you know, whoever thinks, then it adjusts, I don't know, it just adjusts some of the tapestry. So I'm intrigued, man. I'm intrigued and I'm hopeful though. That's all we can be is hopeful, man. And that's where I'm going to stay. And that is the fight that I'm in. I noticed for myself is to stay hopeful, you know, because I get angry pretty easy. So just trying to say some of that out loud. But anyway, not to get into downerness. Here's an upper. We got this video came in right here. Let's see it. Hey, Dale Vaughn. What's up gang gang? You asked for your, you asked for a couple wins.

And well, we just got married. So there's a win. This is Sarah, my wonderful wife. And I'm Austin. We live in Chattanooga, Tennessee. So hey, when you come in October, we're gonna, I'm gonna try to see you honestly. Well, you should bring Sarah, man. This is your wife. He's not really much of a fan. And she married me. So obviously she has bad taste. But hey, congratulations, man. That's awesome. Austin is Sarah. That's his wife. And they might be on, not I don't know if they're armors, but they, they look like out kind of woodworker types, you know, beautiful. And congratulations, man. That is a good win, baby. Feeling that love and making that choice. And you got to base them eggs that you got to get out there and get that nuptial

rocking. You know, you need to play some close frisbee. You feel me get up at that Hampton Inn with your lady and play that close, that, that close frisbee with them ovules, baby. And get that little Bambino, son. Praise God, dude. Shout out everybody. Congratulations. Austin, that is a win. We had some other wins that got sent in, man. And this is a good time to get into some of them. These things make me feel exciting. And, and we got to celebrate these things. You know, and we have to do it for ourselves, man, I need to celebrate. You know, I need to celebrate and be, you know, grateful and excited and excited, man. You know, because that's what life is just these little things, you know, it's the little things

where you feel like you gain some ground where you put a stake in the ground for yourself. So I'm happy to be reminded of that. Let's hear a couple of a couple of wins that came in right here, man. What's up, Theo? This is Jarrett from the great state of Texas. What's up, big Jarrett. And Jarrett has always been an interesting name. If it ends in a T Jarrett, because Jarrett, you know, I get, you know, you understand that that's going to be a name when you're growing up, and then they hit you with Jarrett. And that's, you know, it just doesn't land as well sometimes, but God bless you, brother. And I'm happy you're, you're alive. And last podcast, you wanted people to call in who are winning or getting some dubs.

That's what I'll let you know after, you know, I've taken a lot of L's in my days and I'm still pretty young, but just want to let everybody know, I hope you're winning in my win recently. It's actually this weekend. I'm finally graduating after six years from the great school called Tarleton State University with my mechanical engineering degree. There you go, baby. Tarleton, and that fellow graduated from Tarleton, and I'm sure they probably have a quidditch team over there at Tarleton. And I, you know, it's a congratulations, man. I'm glad that you're graduating. I do believe that Tarleton is misspelled. And I don't know if it's supposed to be something else. It was supposed to be Carlton or Charleston, or something else, something, but the, uh, but

Tarleton, Tarleton isn't anything, but, but that doesn't matter. You went there and you beat them, baby. You freaking beat that Bowser dog. And that's what happens. And that's what happened to you. So praise, baby. Congratulations, man. Let's hear more. What up, Theo? My name's Sam. I was listening to the episode about wins and, uh, you, I just graduated college, so I'm winning right now. I'm high on life. And I'm, I'm just so excited to be alive. I love what you do. Love listening to you. And you just said, calling with the wind and I'm just, I feel like a winner right now. You are one, Sam. Congratulations. And it is graduation time. You are one, Sam. You sound like a winner too. And you sound that you

sound good and, and, uh, and I'm glad you're doing well. You know, I remember, dude, graduating is so wild cause you're about to go out into the, you know, graduations that we, you know, the whole life you've been petting the dog. And finally you see, you know, graduating is that moment when you finally look around that back leg and you see that dog's ass or that junk, that body junk, you know, that back jaw, baby. You see what that dog, you know, you see, or the, you know, wiener, whatever's back there. And it's just a revealing time cause you're like, well, now what do I do? Where, what's, remember that, remember that moment? Take these glasses off. Remember that moment in college, man, when you got done with college and you were like, well, now what?

There's no more home or there's no more class. There's no more, you know, and now it's just you, if you're still living in the college town, it's just like, you got to make decision. Where do I go? What do I do? That was always wild. Let's hear a couple more that came in. Uh, here we go. Hey, Dio, what's up, man? This is Josh. I'm originally from Houma, Louisiana. What's up, Josh out there in Houma. And Houma, you know, that's a good place to, uh, do you wake up and find a damn pearl under your tongue, man? That's real. That's a seafood capital. Houma, that's really, that's a seafood belt, son. You might have to devein your cousin over there. That's the real seafood belt. Onward. Living in Lafayette, man, down here, down in the boat,

the gutter south, like we like to call it. A couple weeks ago, man, you asked about putting some winds on the board. Just recently found out that I had degenerative disc disease. I'm 34 years young, and it's only going to get worse. A lot of my, feel my disc and my sacral spine never fully developed. So my L spine's being a little bitch. Oh gang, man, I'm sorry about that, man. Yeah, the spine is the real, you know, it's that real information super highway, baby. That's a space bar. You know, and it's a real, it's a real hotbed of information and capability. And I've had part of my disc taken out L five s one, dude, I don't know where they took it. You know, and I don't even have the paperwork still to know the man that did it. But, but anyway, man, I just,

I feel for you, baby, to have that stem issue. You know, to really, because you want to stay in the forest, daddy, you know, because you get to stemmed up or stemmed out, you'll be a damn potted plant, brother, but praise God, baby plants grow plentiful down there in Southern Louisiana. Let's hear more. And got a couple herniated couple bulging. But I found a win, man. I was doing hard labor for a long time, my life off field retail. Thankfully, man, this is architectural company gave me a shot, brother. So that way I'm able to still work and not have to be disabled or anything like that. So just trying to stay with emotions and stay positive, man. So that's that's my win. Gang, baby, I love that, man. And thank you for sharing that message with me. I needed to hear

that. Yeah, man, if they are architects, one engineer, shit, they might build you a damn new spine, bro. Do not put it past these people. You know, you might, uh, you know what I'm saying, they could do it all. Who knows how capable they are. So I'd love to see you out there with a damn that cedar backstrap, you know, just see you out there with a damn cane pole centerpiece. That's what, you know, I could see you having that. So and I love the fact that you're not just giving up, man. You're going to stay in the ring. You know, there's a lot to be said for that, man. And that is a win, baby gang. Thank you for sharing that, man. And I love you, bro. And uh, and yeah, if you could do that, man, we could do a lot. You know, we could do a lot, bro. And I

don't mean you and me, bro. I'm not trying to do it. I like women, but I'm just saying that, you know what I'm saying? It's inspirational, man. You know, it's inspirational, your attitude of not wanting to give up, not wanting to take the easy way. Because it's hard to do. It's hard to do, man. We got one more, one more win came in. Let's get it. Hey, Pio, this is, uh, this is Dan from Chicago. Um, I just wanted to, uh, tell you and your listeners, um, a great thing I had happen is that, uh, my, my son, I, I see him every weekend and, um, it, I always wonder if he's, you know, thinking about me or not. And, uh, his mother and I, we don't get along that well. Um, but yeah, like last night he, uh, he called me from his mom's phone and, uh, it, it absolutely was amazing.

Cause I didn't know like, yeah, I mean, he's only six. I didn't know if, uh, when we're not together, if he's thinking about me or not. And, uh, he called me just to see what I was doing and, um, it was, it was amazing. Like it, uh, just rejuvenated me. Um, but anyway, man, uh, I just, I wanted to see, like if you, uh, if you're, you know, connected to your nieces and nephews and, uh, you know, if they just call you to let you know, they're thinking about you. Well, thanks, Dan. That's a, that, that, that, that, that's a great, uh, win right there, man. I can imagine that in, and I just appreciate you sharing this moment because yeah, you know, you don't think about that is, um, I appreciate you sharing that. Cause yeah, you wonder

or, or I could imagine wondering, yeah, does my kid think about me? Like, you know, obviously you think about him. That's the child and that's your job and that's your instinct. But does he, yeah, like what is he? And then yeah, to have kind of like a little breakthrough moment where he's probably just getting a little bit more social in his world and his world is growing a little bit, learning how to use a phone probably. Um, and then man that he wants to call you and see how you're doing, man, that's cool. Man, that's awesome. You know, I'd give anything to call my dad and see how he's doing. You know, uh, so that's powerful. I bet that was a really powerful moment. You know, cause then now you're part of like a friendship. Now you're part of a team.

You know, there's just so much in that, man. There's so much in people calling and checking on people or, or when you feel like people don't care or not, and I'm not saying your son didn't care, but when you don't know if people care and they show you that they do, man, that is so powerful. You know, I've had a couple of moments like that in my life. One time I had an ex-girlfriend, beautiful young lady, and I think she may have been the prettiest girl in New Orleans, man. And I don't know what she ever liked about me, but, but I was pretty lucky to bother her for a couple of years and, uh, she, um, and not that I wasn't kind of a neat guy, but also was not a good boyfriend. So that's why I'm saying that I'm not speaking down on myself, but, but, uh, anyway,

she threw a surprise party for me one time and I just didn't see it coming. You know, and for somebody like me who likes to cut, you know, have everything kind of be in control and know what's going to happen. So there's no surprises. So I don't get, you know, so I can manage everything. Man, that, that, that was, that was awesome. That was a beautiful thing like that, that, that happened. Uh, and then on here, a couple of times I've had moments where people just, they'll let you know that it, that, that, that they care and it gets through and you feel it, you know, but I can imagine that man, your son, you know, and in the back of your head, you're like, well, God, I'm, you know, I take care of him. And of course I love him and he's my fan, but does he

have any fucking, you know, is he ever just kind of sitting around his job? I don't know if he has a job or not, but, and you know, and being like, Oh, when are my pops up too? So that's cool, man. It's cool. And I think a long time ago, we used to see that people would care more because we were in like groups or in tribes or whatever, you know, and so you were in smaller units. You would just, you see your, you know, everybody was raising everybody. You were in like these kind of smaller groups. And so you constantly saw, got affirmation that the people around you were supporting you. So, and, and thought of you as part of the group. And, and there was more connection. So that's a beautiful moment, man. That's cool. Thank you

for sharing that, man. That's definitely a win. What else? We had some wild stuff that came in. And we got slap boxing at a Popeyes, which is really, I mean, Popeyes should easily go into a some sort of a UFC, you know, or UCF ultimate chicken fighting. And it's just people straight up beating and giving birth out there in the, in the bathroom stalls there. But we got, we got a couple of good things that came in, man. I'm going to, I'm going to rattle off these things to you as well today. I want to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Super Speciosa and Kratom. Now I work on a podcast called King and the Sting with Brendan and Chins and they do Kratom. And they seem delightful and they seem zealous, full of zeal, zeal. You know, Super Speciosa

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All right. Let's take another couple calls that came in. Here we go. Hey Theo, my name is Brandon. I'm out here in Oregon at a far, far west coast. You feel me? Oh yeah. Oregon, man. And, um, and Oregon is, uh, it's a good place for, they got a lot of tree sap up there and a lot of people are playing by the rules and not playing by the rules. Let's hear more. I was just listening to you talk about the struggles of ego and the sort of battles we have within ourselves. I was curious, how do you find yourself sort of getting, I mean, do you ever find yourself getting sort of lost in the character of Theo? Uh, we all kind of walked around in these masks and call identity and it's really easy to confuse that with our true selves. So I guess

I was just kind of wondering how do you yourself get back to that baseline of who you really are before ego and self identity? Um, I hope that makes sense. Much love gang, gang brother. Gang Brandon. Thank you man. That's a good, that's a good question. You know, how do we get through? Yeah. How do we get, you know, I think we all, I noticed that who I am evolves. That's one thing I noticed. And sometimes, man, I, uh, sometimes I feel like I was happier in a previous skin. You know, um, even just in the past few years of my life, I felt a lot more connected to myself a few years ago. Um, you know, and I don't know what happened. I mean, some, you know, things that happened in my life

where, you know, my life got a little busier with work. Uh, I made a little bit more money. Um, what else? Uh, I got, I started to get more things. You know, um, and so I think maybe stuff like that, like, or just more access, maybe expectations. Um, you know, and that's been tricky. It's been tough to monitor my ego. You know, I never used to really think I had an ego. And then over the past years, I've definitely feel more like I do. And I, and it's a ego is just, I hate it, man. You know, I hate feeling like I'm better than somebody or because all it does is separate me. And now in some instances, you need your ego because it keeps you safe. It keeps you,

you know, if you can't swim, your ego might just say, man, we can't swim, you know, and that could keep you living. But, uh, but I feel like, uh, and the craziest thing is once you, right when you start to kind of live within a certain comfortability of yourself, it kind of changes. And that's the weirdest thing about life. You know, I find that once I'm right when I'm getting a little close to myself, uh, I run off. You know, from myself, I mean, I, I'm the one looking for myself and I'm the one hiding. And right when I kind of get a hold of myself and right when I'm just close enough to myself to just hand myself that frisbee and that Hampton Inn spa tub,

uh, I go underwater or I disappear, you know, I, or I evolve. It's just, I don't know, more and more, I realize that this, whatever the body is and all of this is just some shell that we're living in. You know, this is just some carrier for the spirit that's inside of us, which is this thing that's actually doing some evolving. Um, I don't know. I know that doesn't answer a lot of question, but, uh, and do I get caught up in being the character myself? I used to feel like myself and now I think the thing that's made me feel less like myself is work. You know, it's kind of weird when your dreams become your business because I don't like business. You know, I don't like it. It's sneaky and it's,

I feel like it's, I feel like it's selfish. Um, um, now that doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing business. Uh, you know, it's, I don't know if I'm strong enough to separate myself from the systems that we have that, you know, that run this kind of like the world that we're in and stuff. I don't know if I'm strong enough to separate myself from them, but I used to feel a lot more like myself a few years ago. Uh, and I'm hoping that more of me comes back around. You know, I felt more angry. I felt more agitated, uh, which is interesting because you know, uh, you would think it would be the other way around. Um, um, but yeah, I don't know. I don't, I don't know if I ever knew what was going to make me happy.

And I just kind of expected that if I got, you know, somewhat popular or achieved some success, that's actually a better word is success or what I deemed as success. We all can create our own successes. I never really chose mine. I kind of just let the world say, Oh, these things make you successful, you know, uh, obtaining things or getting, getting wealthier or getting, uh, popularity. I never really kind of wrote down what some of my own successes were my goals and stuff. So I was just kind of achieving the status quo. Uh, and so I'm not shocked sometimes that I'm left with the status quo reality that those things don't really make you happy and that there's a lot more to it than that. But I guess in some ways I'm also grateful that there's more to it because

it still gives me somewhere to go, uh, to find some peace. And I'm not saying that I'm not, I don't have peace. I'm just saying, you know, I want to feel, I want to always feel good if I can. I know it's impossible, but I want to get close to that, you know, or always be kind of learning about myself. So I don't know if I'm answering some of this question or not, but I used to feel a lot closer to myself. This is the first time in my life that I've felt really separate from myself. So I think part of me is just trying to figure out what's making me feel that way. Um, which is one of the reasons I've been on somewhat of a search for that sort of thing. Uh, you know, sometimes I, I think I want to, I don't know. And then also you put a lot of yourself out there with podcasting and

comedy and sharing. And then sometimes there's not that, it's not that there's not much left, but there's I don't know. It's interesting, man. You know, I remember going to China once and a woman didn't want me to take her picture and she said, because it captured part of you and that once that happened, you couldn't get that part of you back. And I wonder, you know, I wonder if one day we'll see that all this capturing of ourselves and of each other that we're doing that it like D D roads or D D erodes us or erodes us at some level that we don't know yet. You know, I would bet there's some truth to that because the Chinese man, they, you know, good and well, dude, they'll make a damn soup out of anything, you know. And so

they know a lot of ingredients to the overall recipe, I bet. But thank you for the question. And let's get, you know, let's get we got a single mom nomination that came in. This would be a sweet way to end out this episode. And I want to thank everybody for being a part of this podcast. Thank you to our Patreon. We have a very small Patreon, but they are mighty and and it allows us to do fun things like this. So here's the nomination that came in. Oh, they got a horse in it. Hey, Theo. My name's Emily and I live in Richmond, Texas. This is my horse Annie. Isn't she cute? She's having her dinner. She's like fuck off. Anyways, I'm doing the single mom submission. I'd like to nominate my sister, Ashley. She lives in

Vancouver, Canada. That's where I'm from originally. And she has three kids. She's a single mom. The dad kind of dropped the ball and he does. He hasn't worked in like five years and doesn't really see them very often. So she does everything, takes care of them and takes them to their, you know, sports and everything. And she works as a nurse with like, old people with like dementia and Alzheimer's and stuff, which is not an easy job. So yeah, I think she's really deserving of it. So that would be awesome if you could call her and help her out. Anyways, I love your podcast. I listen to it every week and it makes me laugh. So you're the best, Theo. All right, gang gang. You know what? Thank you, Emily, so much for that. And we would love to to reach out to

Ashley and do something and do something sweet for them. So let's see if we can't give her a buzz right now. Hey, Ashley. Hello. Hey, how are you? I'm good. You must be my mystery phone call today. I am. Is that a, you have a child with you? Yes. Yeah. Hey, what's up? No, I, my name is Theo. I work on a podcast. You're, you have a sister that is a horse owner? I do. Okay. Yeah. Well, we just do a thing on our podcast where like listeners will submit. It's just for single moms and people will submit a single mom or somebody that they really care about. And then we just kind of reach out and we just wanted to send you 750 bucks to go do something fun with the kiddos this summer. Are you serious? Yep. That's it. That's it. That's so

nice. Well, you're welcome. Yeah. Your sister must really care about you. Good. Are you guys pretty close to you and your sister? Well, we are, but she's, she's afar. Oh, my son is there. What's up, player? We're pretty far apart and we haven't seen each other for a while, obviously due to COVID. And, but yes, we are, we are close. We just aren't close in distance right now. Oh, I see. Nice. Well, she has a nice horse. Did you see that horse that she has? Yeah, it's Annie. That's Annie. I rode it a long time ago. Oh, your daughter rode it? Yeah. Oh, dang, y'all are lucky. I would like to ride on something like that. But where am I from? Yeah. I'm from Louisiana, but I live right now in Los Angeles and Nashville. So

I'm kind of just what, just trying to just be alive really. But so where do you work at? You were a nurse, she said. I am a nurse. I work in long-term care in a special care dementia unit. No, dementia is crazy, huh? Yeah, it's good times. What is something about dementia that we wouldn't even know about? Like, is there anything that's kind of interesting? Well, we, from what I see you honestly live in like a movie clip. That's how I can, it's like you live in a movie clip that keeps going over and over and over again. Do you understand what I mean? Yeah. Like they're stuck in that movie clip over and over. Like it could be a five-minute movie clip, a minute movie clip or a day. The next day is just relived all the same memories

that they have. Wow. But yeah, it's, yeah. That's interesting. I hope mine is either Tommy Boy or I'm trying to think of, what's that other movie? Oh, the Patriot. I like that. But, oh, that's awesome. Well, yeah, we just wanted to send you a nice gift just to do something fun with the kiddos. What are your kids like to do? Well, oh, hey guys. What, two of you are here right now. Tell them what you like to do. No, you know, you know what you want. Yeah, you know what you want. Not your package to cut. Well, no, like we, what did he order? We're still on a pretty tight lockdown up here. Oh, wow. So we really haven't been able to do a whole lot in the last while. So like recently we've just been doing lots of stuff at home like art and, you know,

even movie theaters aren't even open. Oh, that's crazy. I know we can't do much right now. Y'all should, do y'all have any animals? We do not have animals. Can I get one though? They want one, but we don't have one. I think a bird would be good. Hey, I was, I was saying that a while ago. Yep. We were going to get a fish and there was no fish and we saw birds. Yeah. Yeah, they do want a bird. Yeah, y'all need a good bird over there. If you have a cat and a bird, usually the bird dies of the cat. Well, that's a, that's a good way to, that's a very good way to state it. Yeah. Oh, that's the food chain. That's the food chain. Well, look, I don't know what you guys will be able to do, but hopefully you'll be able to find something

fun to do. And yeah, your sister just obviously thinks the world of you. And so we do too. So we just want to let you know we're thinking of you. That's amazing. Thank you so much. You bet. And you guys come to America sometime. Have your kids been to America? Yeah. My mom and dad live in Texas. So we did make a lot of trips pre COVID. Nice. I like Canada though. I like Canada. Yeah, we're nice people up here. Oh, yeah. Canada's good. A lot of people really apologize and all the time. Yep. It's really sweet. We do. It's a really sweet place. Well, thank you for answering the phone, Ashley. And I hope you have a great day over there. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you for calling. Oh, you bet. Tell your kids

I said bye. Bye, kiddos. I will get that bird. Get that bird. Oh, that's sweet, man. And it's really something sweet to think about a couple of kids with a new bird, you know, I think there's something. It's almost like the garden of Eden or something, you know, kind of like that. We had the young fellow that called in about the military and he was looking for some suggestions. Let's take a couple of those and get some suggestions for the young fellow. Hey, my name is Patrick. Southern Oregon. I'm calling in because that kid that wanted to get out of the military and didn't know exactly what he wanted to do. I got out of the military, did the whole college thing, hated it. And then I went to Northwest lineman college. And it's for those guys that work on

all the power lines pays really well. But just, you know, keeping him in mind that Northwest, we don't have any homes to move into. So if he's got a place already, you might want to just stay in till the housing market comes back down. Okay, so you could get a camper and go up to Oregon and do the power lining. And that'd be interesting, man. You know, that's really that's a risque business, daddy. You grill your frickin self up. Hey, yo, this is AJ. Best advice I can give him is if you haven't gone to school yet, go and do it. Get paid to go get your degree and do whatever the hell you want. There you go. That's another great suggestion right there. Different opinion. Here we go. What's happening? My name is Trevor did almost six years in the army calling into

basically give a little input answer for that cap that was asking what should he do or expect? You need to start job hunting immediately. Even though you're still in the service, you need to communicate with anybody that's specific to what you've done and the military, you know, that way you can transfer that flawlessly over into the civilian role because it's a big change homie. So there you go. That's a great one. Yes, sir. What's up? This is calling, calling. And I wanted to share some ideas, but I figured most of the ideas would be like use the GI bill, go back to school, go live here because they paid well with the living stipend. But what I want to share is that the one thing that I did not expect when I got out was how

difficult it would be to, to reconnect with people. And I wouldn't expect everyone to have as difficult of a time as I did, but I thought I would have more people there for me. And that's a sad thing to say, but it, but it also has a silver lining. It's just know that and know that people are busy and people are struggling a lot. So the people that you might have thought you could rely on upon getting out might not be there. Well, that's a good point, man. That like, yes, sometimes things when you went in, everybody might have been, you know, finishing school and having a good time and partying. And now when you're out, people's lives may have changed and their accessibility to help and to be a daily part of your life might not be there. Here we go.

Hey, this is Tyler from out here in LA, you know, that little Valeria son here in Kentucky. Oh, yeah. And I went to a party over there one time and took a fella and he's robbed everybody over there and jumped off at a rooftop. Here we go. Anyway, I'm calling with some advice for the military dude that just got out after five long years. So my advice would be to sit down and do some serious lifestyle architecture, right? Like, don't rush into a job immediately, sit down, really figure out what kind of life you would like to have, where you'd like to live, what kind of family situation and housing situation you want going on, all that shit first and then pick a career that can enable that that you, I guess,

could tolerate pretty much if you can find something you're passionate about even better. But the main thing here is picking a job first is ask backwards and you should really pick a job that fits into your life and not the other way around. The good thing is you have five years of military experience and employers really cream their pants over that. So you got that going for you. Yeah, maybe there you go. Some really nice plethora or plethora of sir of sir elections, man. And, uh, and thank all you guys for your service and, um, and for being a part of this podcast, man. I'm just, you know, I'm just shocked at how many people are involved in this podcast in this group. We're all making it, man. You know, shout out to my buddy with that degenerative

spine disorder over there. And if, uh, dude, if you need me to hold you up from the back, man, I'll hold you a little way. So baby, praise God, man. We're making it, man. Let's keep doing it. Thank you guys for supporting the podcast tickets available for the tour at Theo von dot com slash tour. Thank you for the suggestions and, uh, and let's go out in that same direction, man, um, of absorption. And that will be with Robert Randolph and the family band baptize me. Robert Randolph, baby. You know, he's one of the greatest pedal steel guitar players in the universe. Come on, buddy.

Yeah. Never seen it coming. Lugging at me that way. Now all my blues seem right at this. I'm a son of a creature, man. A small pathway shape. Come on. I never learned the devil's song. What else can I see? Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's that man right there. Robert Randolph and the family band baptize me. Really fun video they have there on YouTube's and you can absorb that. And I've heard he's a real wonderful man too. I never met him, but I've heard a lot of nice things about that man. Um, anyhow, you guys be good to yourselves. You deserve it, man. I'm going to try and do the same gang.