This Past Weekend - E344 Gravel On The Road

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Theo discusses the Logan Paul vs Floyd Mayweather fight, reacts to a naked woman destroying an Outback Steakhouse, shares his love of woman's softball and pays tribute to some childhood friends that recently passed away. Plus, Theo gives a FaceTime call to a single mother battling cancer and Hodgkin Lymphoma and offers her some help.   New Merch: https://theovonstore.com​ New Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour Music: "The Come Up" - Eddie 9Vhttps://bit.ly/3v6zQOA"I Can Make You Like Me" - Akira The Don  Support our Sponsors: The Zebra: https://thezebra.com/theoPeloton: https://www.onepeloton.comFiverr: https://www.fiverr.com use code Theo for 10% off your 1st orderBlueChew: https://bluechew.com use promo code THEO to get your first order freeLiquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com  Podcastville mugs and digital prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to [e-mail]. Hit the Hotline [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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That kind of like, you know, if you see like a sometime I was sitting on a bench somewhere and I think I was at a outlet mall. And if you've never been to an outlet mall, it's basically where people, really people that love each other unconditionally go to kind of waste money on shit that doesn't fit. You know, you'll see somebody with like a, you know, you'll see somebody with a one shoe that they, it's like a size 10 and the other one's a nine. But they don't, you know, they're not really, they don't care that much, I guess,

or they just, they're willing to deal with it for the price at $6, you know. You'll see somebody with a neck brace that says s-day lauder on it. And just, you know, people want things that have just big insignias on it. You know, for $4, you'll pay somebody just to damn paint Levi's down your arm. Or to, you know, you'll get a, for 50 cents, Baskin Robbins will give you ice cream to scoop it right in your hand. You know, they just, it's like a halfway house for capitalism, basically. You know, you'll see a damn Lacoste shirt over in the distance, over in the,

you know, in the parking lot, shooting up in the car by himself. He's over there just dousing up. So, I don't even know what I was going to tell you guys, but I'm, I'm happy to be here with you and I'm happy that I'm not at an outlet mall right now. You know, when I was a child, we liked hitting that outlet mall. You're on your way to the beach. You got $17 burning a hole in your pocket and you want about 30 items. You could get a shirt that's made out of all collars.

There's no, you know, they messed up in China or somewhere and they just, damn, it's just full. It have collars on the arm. So your, your neck has a collar and both arms have a collar. You're like, damn, let's, this is a real professional shirt. You know, you just, that's the kind of stuff you see. You'll get a baby diaper there, sorts coins and they'll give you that for 58 cents, 67 cents, 77 cents. It's just that kind of shit, you know, you can get a soda for 60 cents, but there's no cup involved. They just pour it in your mouth, drink as much as you can, you know, have a store say unlimited beverages.

We'll douse you up. We'll douse your daddy up. Yeah, it's a lot of sunburned people, a lot of non-Bitcoin owning type of people. I feel like just regular people. You know, a lot of people that have been involved in domestic disputes better, but now they're going to the beach. And on the way there, they stop and get a little dose of that come up, you know that. And I'll say this, man, no shade to Britain. I know you guys send in whatever his name is, little Markey or whatever that guy's name is, Prince Harold.

Y'all sending his little ass over here with his trifling lady and we sent her over there. Y'all send them back, you know. Apparently the import-export business is just, we're just all just sharing a bunch of fucktards, you know it. And I'll say this, man, a biscuit will beat the hell out of a scone. And you could put that on your great granddaddy's damn doorstep, dude, unless y'all sold his home after he died. No shade, baby. Let's come up, baby.

Gang. This is Eddie 9V with the come up and that's nine volt. It feels so good to have a brand new view. Well, I just broke up with my baby. No, I can finally get the love in you. Well, I just moved up to Lucky Street when I made a game and said to me, you're on the come up, you're on the come up and it's plain to see between you and me, we got so much love and chemistry, it's plain to come up and it's plain to come up. Well, good things keep on coming

and there ain't gonna be no running, no, I'm on the come up and I just got home and now I'm back. I got so many people asking where I'm at, I've been to Tennessee and Ohio, Alaska, Los Alamos, women know I'm on the come up, yeah. Nothing really more to say. Well, if you're asking me what I really want to do is just come right back, make love to you, I'm on the come up. Come on. There you go, baby.

89 volt, filling me. Filling me, man. Filling my cornea copia. Remember that deal, they taught you about it back in elementary. They taught you cornea copia, man, it was a damn little, I don't know what the hell it was, get a basket, you know, it was just a damn, it didn't, you know, it was just a greedy, it looked like a damn oysters little side piece or something, I don't know what it was, man. The cornea copias and they fucking, they stuffed them with carrots and all kind of shit. And it just, it was too much to, I couldn't handle, I didn't know what was

going on. It looked like a, it looked like a seashell, like a damn gay seashell or something, or a sexually curious, you know, or bit curious, they call it. It looked like a bit curious seashell, trying to have a salad or something at one time. And that was cornea copias, man. That's 89 volt. God, it's a good tune, isn't it? And thank you guys for being here today. We are here. And that is the choice that we made, and I'm grateful for it. What's going on, man, a lot of little deals. You know, you had the Floyd Mary weather and Logan Paul went at it. And it really, it kind of had a, I mean, Logan Paul, he came in hella German on that fight when you're looking at him. Real sweet,

just very Viking, very like, damn, this fellow owns an axe type of look, you know, and I don't know, you know, I don't know if I like watching, do I want to see millionaires fight each other? I want the underdog in there, I feel like. And I guess, you know, Floyd has accusations of wife of, of, you know, you know, he's 50, 50, he's 50, you know, seven of his wins came against X wives allegedly. And so, you know, maybe that's what you want to see. I don't know. I was just wondering what made me want to, you know, I was on the airplane, there's no streaming on there. So you have to just guess what's happening, which is, you know, it's like the old days, really. You know, it used to be like, what happens when we tell you to describe it?

But then it's, you know, it just gets different, you know, and now it's like, there's just so much, you get so many of the recaps and stuff, but I'm on this plane, I'm trying to get the thing to stream it wouldn't. But about every 55 seconds, it would give me a glimpse, just a JPEG, just a bam. And, uh, yeah. And so, you know, I had no idea what was happening. It looked kind of like a couple of squared hands, look a couple of young men that had met somewhere and was doing drugs and, you know, probably at a men's club, a night club called splash or fade or joy. A lot of, usually the gay club in town has that, you know, kind of like,

um, it's never like Care Bear Ernie's tug it out boy's shop or something. You know, I, I, some of, I wish they would go with a more vibrant name, a lot of gay men, night, uh, you know, drinking holes, water holes, bars. But they don't, you know, they, they just kind of, it's always like vibe or, uh, glisten, glisten is kind of a dicey when I feel like this. I don't know what that's that they're doing in there, but yeah, we had, I'm trying to think spray was one. You're like, that's, that's, that seemed like a tough bit. Uh, but yeah, I tried to watch on the airplane. I couldn't do it. I could not get that thing to, uh, to load up in the function. Um, and so I just got a glimpse every now and then.

But that's what the one thing that's interesting, the old days, you know, I feel like that's how storytelling really found its, that's why storytelling had some value. It had some limbs on it. You know, it had some legs because you had to tell a story. What happened to Ronnie, you know? Oh, you know, Ronnie got Ronnie got his ears pierced, man. You're like, damn, really? He's a, you know, he's a father of four and he's in his 70s and the people like, yeah, well, you know, he likes boy bands, you know, he got the, they caught him in his truck crying in his truck with a O town poster and then, and then he got him pierced. So, um, but yeah, just you had to tell a story. Everybody had to, well, what happened?

You know, they, remember Paul Revere's, that fellow, you know, the original drunk driver, that dude's out there just rolling across the central east, just screaming, yelling. You know, just, but you had to hear, you know, people used to have to tell the story. There was a value to somebody coming into town. Well, tell me what happened. Oh, you were there to share it with me. It was different before we had all this mass communication. We all had such a value, I feel like, because the story of the world and the story of existence, it was all it needed, all of us. And we still have it. We still iterate it, but there's not that moment to moment value in everyone where you're like, Oh, tell me what happened. Oh, you got, you're not, man,

y'all ain't gonna believe what it's just, you know, now with so much videography, it's just a different time. But I don't know why, I don't know why I said that. But I guess I was just kind of thinking a little bit, you know, let's go and I got a smoothie. I'm back out here in the central east. You know, when I got me a smoothie, I took that first sip and it's one of the healthy ones, man. And it, God, it just, it's a little too healthy, you know, it kind of tastes like I'm just like I stuck a thing into a plant and I'm just sucking that big bitch off. Like I'm just just giving a, just really just giving that frickin, that little baby hummer to a, to a plant, you know, like I'm just damn taken down

a damn, uh, begonia or something face first, you know, I'm just doing oral on a begonia. This thing just heavy. I mean, it may have dirt in it. I have, that's the thing. You go to some of the smoothies and it's too healthy. It's too, it's just like, come on. They just go too far with it. You know, it's just too much. They just like, some of us just too healthy, man. You know, you know, they have potting soil in it. They'll have semen from, uh, Slovenia. And it, you're like, what? You just like, damn, man. You got the kind of shit make you suck off a bag of carrots after you have it. You know, it's just, some of us just getting too healthy. I missed the original smoothies. That thing was mostly sugar, dude. And then they'd hit you with two scoops of, uh, protein

powder. And they'd have like the one dude in town. He was like, oh, I work at GNC. I'm eating meat right now in my head. He would record himself eating meat with a video and then just play it back while he was eating, while he was also eating meat later. You know, we'd have a night he would sleep next to a audio of him just sounds of him eating meat. His name's guys. Got bacon brain, man. What else is going on? I went home to Louisiana. You know, and it was, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, un, uh, enjoy a circumstances really, man. Had a childhood friend that passed away. you know when he died of drugs and doing drugs and you know it's kind of it's kind of wild when that happens and I know it's happening for a lot of people out

there a lot of people struggling and a lot of people's friends and family struggling and you know I believe that there's some people that suffer from addiction and then there's some people who are somehow victims of you know these large pharmaceutical corporations and they're just throwing pills and everything you know you go to Starbucks and get a muffin and you know you could get a damn they'll do blueberry zanbar in there like what it'll be pineapples and soma like what that's a mix that's another mixture now this muffin brought to you by damn Monteverdi or whatever there's a big company in Monsanto like

gee I don't know should I eat this and eat it you're just used to it you know you out there fucking now I've been on a couple Monsanto muffins dude now your mustache won't grow you don't know what's going on your tongue smells like soy beans anyway man yeah I had to go home this buddy will was a friend of mine and he passed you know and it was just interesting man you know you know it was a lot of things it was a lot of people hadn't seen in a long time and some of you may know you know I spoke over the years about this gentleman and he and I you know we were friends when we were young when it was not a lot of people in

our town and you know back when you could still hear the train come through and back when if somebody was on the train it was a you know a decent person now the train pulls up this it's a bunch of just damn you know anybody could be on there now it's mostly robbers only now on the train you let me put these shades back on sometimes you know it's almost like I'm in mourning a little and you know you're maybe this fellow this fellow I grew up but I was there was a time in our town when somebody got a hot tub and people had never said couldn't imagine what what what is it somebody's like it's like a little ocean in your yard and

it's you know you put a damn you know it's like warm it's like a little damn soup and so people were fired up you know and an opening night I didn't get to go to opening night at it there was more adults going there and seeing it and drinking wine by it and you know people would press a button and turn it on and then turn it off oh look at that boy it's great you know people bobbing for apples in it you know drinking and then maybe your buddy's wife's over there bobbing and nobody's looking and you go touch her ass a little or something or play crack hand or something for a second with her you know whatever I don't know I

don't know what the neighborhood was like I didn't go to opening night but the next day they let the children get in it you know when I was a child and so I got in there and you know we're all in there and we were children and there's a many many kids as you could fit into a damn little hot tub and this I think this fella this thing probably seated seven I don't know when you're a kid everything seats seven seventy seven hundred you know your children so it doesn't matter if there's people next to your on your whatever you know little Lawrence will be in there and he'll be wearing a little freaking Anthony as a scarf and they

got nine other kids you know they got twins in there and somebody goes in and comes out as triples it doesn't know who knows it's just being children there was just you know the the connective energy amongst children is it's not as it's very strong you know as we when we get it as we become adults I find I but I become more of a proton or a neutron but when you're young you're just part of the electricity so anyway we had a bunch of children in there and we've never been in a hot tub people didn't know you know people drinking the water and doing all you know washing their hair and one kid you know his dad come over and baptize

them on the side and people just living on one fellow brought a fish it died immediately because of the heat but people didn't know we didn't know we weren't enjoying it and the directions got all wet immediately so nobody knew what they said and we were just hot tub and and pretending we were in fan somebody wrote Tahiti on the on a sign and nailed it to the tree right there and God we were living it up and there was one fellow named CJ and he was older than us he was probably he could have been 15 he could have been 60 you know he had us he had scars on his back I don't he might have been a slave you know he's white

guy but he might have been enslaved at one point I don't know he'd been through a lot you know he'd been through a lot and I remember he had hair kind of around the top of his pants on the back and so anyway we're all in the hot tub we're enjoying and we're probably maybe 10 or 12 I don't know 11 and big CJ been under the water he'd been touching his body you know and he'd been prepping his body to really eat jack out and spray you know and really just bust full you know and I'm not a pedophile or anything I'm just telling you a story from my childhood so you know I was there and I was a child and when it when this happened

anyway so he he's prepping his body under water the rest of us don't know we're doing backstrokes you know we're doing one guy's feeling his mouth with water shooting it in the air somebody else is catching it you know people just having a good time it's like a little Las Vegas out there it's like our own little Bellagio you know we're doing it all and CJ been prepping his body to bust out well at one point he stands up in the hot tub and ejects out into the water and we'd never seen it like what we'd never seen you know I think I'd only ever even seen anybody else's penis it was probably my brother I'd seen my

own penis in a mirror but that's just your you know that's still your penis it's not you know it's still yours it's just one and then I'd seen some other kids penis through like a fire he was on the other side of a fire and I was on one side but um yeah this kid stood up and he knew about it and so he you know he's ejecting out into the pond or whatever and uh and my buddy will was right there and will was a sweet guy man and he just he he thought something was happening to this kid to this CJ but he thought he was dying I guess you know he thought well if this you know if he pumps out another 20 or 30 servings he's

gonna you know each time he gets gonna get a smaller and smaller he's disappearing you know and I could see in that moment how that all registered it was like oh my gosh this guy's you know this guy's eventually his whole body will shoot out of the end of his wiener so we didn't know what to do man so we'll grabbed it we'll grabbed it to really stop it off at the end like a hose you know like where you bend a hose like that and the fella punched him man fell unloaded unloaded on him so and that was a lot man that was a lot for one moment in time because we'd never I'd never seen any of that I'd never you know

to see such you know a moment of kind of sexual advancement at that and experience that and then also see of saving you know this real saving grace this real this two-handed angel you know come in and try to save this boy's life to keep his body inside of his body to keep him from just dripping out his existence into the world and then to see the abuse at the end and you know that's kids man and that's kids brother but uh but God man God life is a there's a lot of gravel on the road isn't there and will we love you man and I just want to let you know that you are loved brother and and you'll

be missed man you were always you were always up for the up for the up for a good time man I feel like you were always and not just any time you're always pretty positive man and hopeful and and you'll be missed I gotta let you know we got tour dates we're adding shows coming up those will go on sale I believe next Tuesday and we are adding shows in Cincinnati Durham Chattanooga Knoxville Minneapolis Charleston and Columbus so just letting you know now you can follow that information through Instagram and through the podcast as well as well currently have chosen st. Louis Cincinnati Charlotte Durham North

Carolina over there where my mother attended college Chattanooga where my mother lived actually on a mountain or on a hill over there before they had a fallen out Knoxville Tennessee Wilmington Delaware Wilkes Byer Minneapolis finally getting back over there to Princess Hometown Charleston South Carolina where I went to college for one semester and and I used to work at frozen options over there where they had good smoothies and and dirty uh where we didn't fully clean out the only tandem bed in town and people got dysentery and um pink eye out of there cuz some fella butted out in there one

night came in there how you know after a night of doing cocaine and desecrated the thing with his butt or whatever and we didn't clean it very well Richmond Baltimore Albany we will be there all the dates and all the tickets should be bought through Theo von comm slash tour that's where you have to get these things because other places are it's ridiculous links young lady send me a thing the other day fuck you buddy fuck you I'm trying to take Arnold and I guess that's her husband or whatever I don't know trying to take Arnold to see you and each ticket's 260 bucks you in and then she called me the n-word which

is fine you know I'm saying I don't mind being called up once in a while but I you know it just was like I don't know I guess I mean I was right I'm always ready for it but I just wasn't you know this seemed egregious but anyway and I wrote back I said well just get you a ticket from a regular locale woman get you a ticket from a decent locale because you're shopping indecently on random links that's all the links through Theo von comm slash tour take you to appropriately priced tickets everything else is that's cat-ass baby that's cat-ass and I don't mess with cat-ass man also don't mess with paying

too much for insurance you know I'm redoing the insurance on my home right now and I'm excited about that and my azaleas are doing good and I want to thank producer Sean who goes the extra mile sometimes when I'm out of town and and help me get the azaleas well keep them well and those bitches are doing well and I'm grateful to be alive man and I'll tell you this story so the other night I go for a swim you know and I go for a swim and and I'd had me a little bit of blue chew I was testing them out you know I was testing them out because and look I'll be honest with you I gave a fellow one after a show one time he said

he was going home with his wife it was their sixth anniversary or something I said well you got on this you know year six you got to get back in there you know you got a you got to do a little bit of traveling you know I'm saying you got a torque out big dog you know what I'm saying when she asked where you are you say I'm up stay I rise oh and she'll know don't be all don't you know you could downstairs for years kind of two through four but on year six you got to get back upstairs pop-up blue chew is making waves and bringing more confidence to the bedroom by offering chewable tablets that can help me and get stronger and

longer lasting erections now sometime you got a thorn up you know sometime you got a thorn up on somebody you know when a lot of men will do that's that that's they'll put a glove on their wiener say hey shake my hand the lady realizes oh dang that's a wiener and a glove blue chew is an online prescription service so no visits to the doctor's office no awkward conversations hey you know I was all yeah none of that man I remember I went to a dang guy one time and they had to do injections into my penis to make sure it worked no waiting in line at the pharmacy and it ships right to your door in a discrete package the process is

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living in her house okay there's a woman in her bathroom talking about being lonesome and that no one lives at her home and this woman seems I don't want to say vegan but definitely you know kind of lady that kind of starts to some people if they get too vegan or out there they'll start to look like Christmas trees they have a lot of ornaments and knick-knackery on them and there you go at the end she realizes based on hair color that somebody and you you can't see on the video they pan down and there's an eyebrow or something in the tub and to me this seemed like it's a who is a lady more

no it could be a damn little mercantile what's that lady's name low her name she's like a missy now low let me see highest grossing female rappers Nicki Minaj I feel like it looked like Nicki Minaj is in there and lost a damn eyebrow or something but she said it's a man's hair it sounded like that but this lady also may not even she seemed like a real uh I don't mean she'd find a damn eyebrow in the tub but she said she's been wearing weird stuff this is the final straw like if you like if there's like a you know somebody been making muffins and they left a bolt you know a muck

muffin stuff you know stuffing the out-in-your-counter then you got to call the police or me can't you can't be like hmm what is this I want is there somebody make a muffin am I sleep muffining like she says this is the final straw the final whether I just wonder what some of the other straws were you know I wonder what some of the other straws were where you finally found a piece of mustache in the tub and now the guys obviously changed his you know whatever intel you had on them earlier this guy shaved his hair this guy's changing the game up you know he could have died his skin you know you could be

looking for somebody who's jaundice next month I mean who knows but I think one way to do it here's how I would do it because obviously this dude does drugs or whatever and if you're willing to hide in somebody's house if you're willing to be out there to stray Goldilocks and or if male Goldilocks mean that's the set the here's what I would do I would stand against the wall young lady and I would just start counting I would put my hands my face I'm like one two and I think maybe it'll then though then maybe they'll think it's a game or maybe to stand in the living room like you know what I can't find you I can't find you I

don't know how do you but it's crazy put a little trap out you know here's a way to find out if the man is thinking of anything sexual if it's a rapist or not get your little mousetrap put a little condom on it and if he you know if you hear that thing pop off at night you know a you called him in B he's a rapist baby so but I wish you well it's sad to see that men are now the Goldilocks in America you know you got this lady out here kind of got that t-pain vibe and you got men out here Goldilocks but that's God's plan baby and that's where we are praise God baby and thank you guys I found that one out there that

video we got some other ones that came in from from our listeners I want to thank you guys for hitting the hotline as always I'm getting excited about this tour I'm gonna figure that out I'm also I'm gonna take a I'm gonna take a little bit of time and go to a look do a little bit of like a retreat and do some just deal with some try and deal with some stuff I've been dealing with you know over the past year I've talked about it maybe a year and a half even I've just really been dealing with some anger issues you know and I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer but it's affected a lot of the way that I communicate and that I

feel and it's affected the amount of joy and stuff that I'm having in my life and so I want to be a little bit more proactive and so I'm gonna just see about maybe 10 days or something you know and it's nothing where they're electrocute near something you know it's nothing where they beat near anything or I'm a stodden people or anything it's real I think it's just gonna be an organized thing where you can kind of focus and so that's what that's what I'm excited about I'm I'm trying to stay excited you know I literally have to commit to a pull to a spot when I get off of the podcast today and so I'm a

little scared I guess so I think my my biggest thing is do I really want to feel better sometimes you know sometimes it's like do I really want to feel better and I'm not saying that as a downer I'm not trying to bring anybody down like this podcast isn't about bringing anybody down but I damn I sometimes I just I want to I have to be able to share what I'm thinking or feeling and yeah you know I'm just so hard on myself all the time I just want to start to figure what I have to have to find some you know I want to do some excavating there and just see what's going on and at the same time keep moving forward you

know my mother sometimes talks to me about well don't sit in the past you know don't sit in the past and some of that is super true you know but it's all sometimes it's also hard to really you know I notice whatever things from my past are affecting me from having like committed relationships you know feeling okay being willing to dance at weddings I don't like doing that honestly I've been so scared about dancing in a wedding sometimes I wish that somebody will stand up during the nuptials or whatever and say and protest so at least we won't have to dance you know so yeah I don't know but

I'm hopeful and and everything's fine I'm not like in a bad place I'm actually in an okay place but I want to take us some time and just kind of see what's going on and I have a little bit of time have a little bit of space and so I'm thankful to God that I have this a little bit of space in my life where I can kind of investigate and then I can share with you whatever I'm seeing or thinking you know and and that really feels like a gift and thank you guys for your support man so many supportive people you know and I want to be able to do I want to be able to be a part of like a some solution in the world you know

and I don't know what that means exactly but I think you know it's like I think we're in a weird place in society where we realize maybe that all these things we're getting aren't really they're great and they're cool and it's nice to have successes but if we don't have a bigger feeling of success inside of ourself or comfort you know it's almost like it's almost like an awakening in a way where we realize oh there's got to be more out there than this box set of wherever or this me on these subscription you know or these two you know 12 you know these 24 inch speakers so anyway I don't know you know me man

I'm always fucking hitchhiking out here inside of my own heart so gang baby and that's okay that's who I am bro I'm a sensitive fellow man but I'm also a bad MF for dog you know what I'm saying dude and I'll fucking hog tie your cousin dog and remodel that dude's fucking lips fan praise God bro don't even try me dude I'll restack your spine baby call me Jimmy Janga dude and I'll give you that slip disc yeah so don't even put it past me what else is going on a lot of good calls that came in and a lot of great people involved with this podcast man and you know one of the things I noticed

over the year over the past year and a half is sometimes when I listen to people I can't hear them as good like I can hear them but I used to be able to hear them and feel them and I miss that man you know I miss that and I don't know what inside of me is making me uncomfortable you know we're making me but when I hear when I see people or I hear people and somebody's talking and they're sharing something that's important to them and I want to be able to hear it and feel it and and yeah I just I want to be able to do that and and I don't know and it's just important to me you know it's important to me yeah so that's okay

you know this is this a journey that I'm on and I'm grateful to be on it you know that's another thing I do believe that my higher power has like a plan for me that's that means something and for you too I do believe there's a reason that we're all right here listening to this right now because I can feel you listening to you know and yeah I don't know man I don't know but praise God brought PTL baby you know that baby get in there it's so funny I weirded in a show the other night and thank you to everybody that came out there in Los Angeles the other night and we had a fun show and this guy stands up in the back man and

this fella and he's like let's go people are all excited but it's so weird at a comedy show there's nothing to do it's like we're all fired up but there's nothing to do you know except like sit back down and listen so it's just the weirdest dichotomy man it's a weird or whatever they call it did dichotomy dichotomy one or the other oh I got this bad smoothie damn oh my god oh is it is this a in at this this thing has a real enema type feel to it I wash it down with some liquid death you know that dude I've been watching that softball let's go boy I've been watching softball dude am I a lesbian oh my gosh I've been

watching that s-ball baby a lot of thicky-thicks out there with them sticky sticks you know that dang I mean you could see I wish you kind of knew the menstrual cycle of the teams you were like oh okay these these girls they got a little grudge they got that grudge it would be like a grudge flow factor okay you know they showed like the moon the moon going whatever you know these girls are half moon and over here and these bitches is Wolverine and over here but my god you know I just love watching it I love watching the softball man I like seeing them thighs I like stalking the girls on Instagram I like

doing it all you know you're with your girl she's like what are you doing on your phone like I don't know JMU just hit a homer you know you just getting in there man and these girl and dude what one thing that's interesting to the crowd at the softball game is you could hear all these chirpers a lot of women out there not a lot of not a lot of fear not a lot of you know a lot of real bird on bird action a lot of ladies that like to uh you know what I'm saying this Taco Tuesday four days a week you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying ah I'm downstairs you know what I'm saying you

know what I'm saying so yeah it's just fun to guess like who's really you know out there wallet hopping you see some of the ladies you know in the stands and they just really mmm those biscuit friskers you know what I'm saying these ladies out there they just checking wallet on a lot of these girls and but it's all beautiful man it's all love you know and happy gay pride and it's a man I just damn love softball and the girl Montana fouts through a dam all unlimited strikeouts or whatever it's called like Jeepers you know and it's just funny you see they are everybody out there they doing it and you see in the

distance you know big Tiffany's in the distance and she's stunting like my daddy you know what I'm saying she got some you know she's just out there manny freshened and it's just really god it's good man I mean what a and it's just fun to watch you know it just there's a lot of action in those games there's a lot of like excitement by the ladies whereas the guys there so it's a little more too cool for school a lot of time with the guys you know it's all tobacco and spitting and you know or gum or whatever but the ladies there they they got the cheers and the chance and them they're doing it all and they're

touching tits I mean I saw two of them jump up in the air and just damn touch tits brother you know whoo whoo I don't the image they'll jump start a civic baby with them milk knuckles baby let's go and here's one here's one right here this is a thank you for sending this in this is naked woman destroys out back that is great for my heart man first of all first of all lady you in here we just got restaurants open lady we just got them open and you know hard it is to get anything imported right now huh and you out here at Outback okay you out here at the Australian what is it called Center of Teamwork you're out here at

the Australian Consulate in wherever this is Buffalo New York and you can't handle yourself this is why we can't have nice things look at her oh and she's naked look at this you don't bring a blooming onion to a blooming onion honey okay good Christ oh and the guy asked he said look this is the worst part about having to work at a corporate thing he goes ma'am please and she don't get it she don't get it little Tiffany can't tighten up for one minute she's out here showing that slick wallet to everybody at the dang Outback my my favorite part there's a woman waiting in the distance there's a woman there's a woman

waiting to be seated still in the foyer she's gonna stay and ride it out she's like you know I drove over here I'm gonna still see if they can get me in oh and you can see a little bit of booty right there damn boy oh shoddy got that back smile now here comes officer baby let's go oh yeah oh this is like CSI Australia dude this is it she's throwing stuff at this cop what and I want to apologize to Australian man we you know we better than this we better than this she just told the cop when I'm at a club that she is treated a certain type of way well bitch this is Australia okay and your little woke-ass about to

go to sleep and he he freaking he let her up baby that's that December 25th baby he gave her that frickin that pistol Christmas daddy you feel me she got tased up you can see her just hit them kookaburra wings dog whoo that's what you get that's what you get ladies when your dad doesn't you know kind of teach you how to do stuff properly and right there and that's probably addiction right there as well but shout out Australia man we love you guys and you know with that's not us that's that bitch and we ain't her

so I love you guys and I can't wait to get back over to Australia I'm sorry about everything with that lady dang boy he gave her that signature sampler boy and she broke all that dish where we just got restaurants open and this is what you do I hope they sprayed at broad down with COVID here's one other that came in jollybee faces backlash after a customer receives deep-fried towel instead of fried chicken Philippine fast food chain jollybee jollybee is facing backlash after a customer allegedly received a deep-fried towel instead of its famous crispy fried chicken you know people say they want to eat clean but do

they really want to eat clean that's really all I got out on that what else we got here man some other nice things that came in let me get to a question from one of you guys and thank you for it here we go oh yeah out there near root near Red Wing man and Red Wing is definitely that's that menstrual cycle bird you know what I'm saying baby when you actually dip it we actually dip in a slip one time when she's taking off and then you know you you know it's a little bit of a you can have a little bit of a turbulence on the course baby when you got that heavy wing a little bit ironed out and also having that area

where you live is or where you are that's where Billy Valens died Richie Valens and the big bopper they died over there in that plane crash a lot of people don't remember that but the movie La Bamba and hate to spoil the ending but they died there and kind of on the Iowa Minnesota border around there and I believe it's down near where you are what else we got onward Evan thank you apples here right off the old mighty Mississippi River looking for some advice for me you know I've been seeing this girl for a few months and she took off today for basic training for the for the military she's gonna be in the national

guards and you know I know I'm gonna have some downtime I'm gonna you know be kind of bumming or whatever but I you know I go fishing a lot maybe that might be my way to kind of online and get my mind off things but I just kind of looking like what you've done maybe if it's been like a long-distance relationship or just knowing you're gonna be away from someone you care about for a long time how you kind of dealt with that cuz you know it's only three months and they'll end you know it's not that bad but there's no way for me to communicate with her but letters you know you can't talk to him on the

cell phone or nothing but I'm I just kind of reaching out to you man looking for for kind of your wisdom or your advice on the topic if you have an experience well thank you man you know I've long cheated on every woman I've ever dated and been a you know been a real dirt diver over there you know I run across the yard to smell something that's the kind of animal I am but um but I have had some moments when I was in love also where I behaved as a as a as a lover you know I mean and you can be two things you know you can be someone who's loving and caring you can also be at the same time someone who has in a you

know an affliction and really gives into those dark arts of touch and titty you know of reaching for that third top when your lady's already got to you know or reaching for that second handrail when your man's already weaned up and um and you know I used to do some nice things man I remember I gave this girl a nice box of like candies and different things like you know kind of like I don't remember like I do remember but I'm just ashamed to say I made like a nice buy I had like all these like little fires in it and like it was like you know I got the hots for you and it had some red hots in that bitch and a little fire

engine little Clifford the dog little tickle me Alma you know had a gauze kit for like a burn victim type of thing in there had some aloe vera in there everything you know picture of a skin graft surgery or something that I printed back when the printer ink it was like you know you got you put you printed one thing and you had to go get get a new ink and your dad was pissed and your step dad was also pissed dude and he wasn't even really a step dad he was a man letting you live at his home but uh I think do be sweet you know it's funny because I was just talking in the beginning now about how there's no

connection there's no ability to be a storyteller this is a chance for you to be that you know whether this relationship works out or not which I hope it does and thank your lady for her service but this is a chance for you to I don't know explore how you feel about when she is gone you know how you make me feel like this you know or this is some things I think about and also try to have some respect for yourself and not overdo it you know you don't need to write every day that's too much of responsibility you know but it sounds like you guys have a pretty good foundation you don't sound really

concerned about that you just sound like you're just thinking about how to handle it and what I've done man is yeah just done some nice things try to do some thoughtful things you know try to like include sometimes her family or something in you know make like a nice little deal for send it yeah it's a different time now we're the Goldilocks you know a lot of men's are at home and women out there doing electricity and doing you know working at the blood bank or whatever so but I just think it's nice that you even care bro that's nice a lot of people be like damn I hope they send this girl to fight in Iraq

because I'm ready for a break you know so I think it's beautiful just for us to take that moment to see that you care Evan and yeah I think it's this is also a good opportunity for you to do some things you want to do that you don't have that time when you have that that that immediate constant day-to-day connection you know it's hard to get your hands dirty if you got a high five somebody every day with a clean hand so this is a chance for you to maybe do something new learn how to do a cheese or something a Gruyere you know learn how to prove alone you feel me by yourself you know you can learn how to bake or

learn how to shuffle or learn how to do magic a lot of shit you could do praise God baby good luck over there man I think you got it I think you can do just fine man but don't just take care of her also take care of you what else we got here we go Kevin from Houston I wanted to let you know about a encounter I had with a fellow this past weekend enthusiast so I'm a past technician and my last stop of the day it was born rain and Houston really didn't want to do it I could have called called out and not like the rain but I thought you know let me just see what the problem is you know I want to take care of it if you need me to take

care of it I like that you know there's I went to a restaurant the other day they said they can't even find any workers right now at the restaurant and people only want to work so anybody that's doing a job man I commend you thanks Kevin onward and we got a lot of past problems and it sounds like the dude had one of the ultimate past baby Theo Vaughn gang and what do I see but a Theo Vaughn dark arts to her shirt and I stopped missing because it doesn't matter what I was saying before I was like dude I love Theo Vaughn and he stuck that little hand out a little fist and he goes gang and I gotta tell you that made my entire day

I just want to let you know you're affecting people everywhere from from coming to the Houston so keep it up man gang Kevin thank you man thanks for sharing that dude that's awesome and if that guy hasn't paid his bill yet man will you please call into the hotline I'm gonna see if we can't pay that pass control man because you know that dude has it he probably he's infested with the dark arts baby if he's got that if he's got that tour shirt sitting there I'm gonna tell you about this man fiverr if you haven't used this this is a very good thing to use if you had an extra eighth day of the week what would you do

you know I'd probably do some spray painting or something some light graffiti I would organize things I'd find the smell in my truck that smell like a banana I get a new logo for this past week and help us divide to design some t-shirts I would do different things like that and I find more I find ways to be more a part of other people's lives well if you're a business owner you probably know exactly what you do with an extra day each week maybe you'd launch a new website spend more time on marketing with your services or find new more creative ways to build your brand but you don't need an extra day what

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you know what let's hit a win that came out today let's hit a win we want to get some wins on the board man and uh... and let's hear one right here here we go howdy man uh... this is a little cross between a a big big win and a little bit of tip tip for you you know you're talking about how you you think about settling down

and be getting something going well work for me man i was throughout my twenties and like my you know late teens and all that i was party and look for the weekend and even realize it just kind of and i wasn't i wasn't fine in the meeting you know i thought i would find it there and and i was and i would happen for me was i was getting lots of girls but not the girl the girl would always

the uh... i just couldn't get her she would never be interested in me the way i would look like obsessed with her i fall in love with these girls and they'd never go from a good looking guy man trust me over the phone but trust me i had all the other girls but it was expected you sound decent this margin was just like no i'm only the brother praise god happy pride but also in age i think that you get what you put in

you get in what you put out and so i thought i changed my way that i actually found christ uh... but you know him more people act up act up and what do you know like exactly what i dreamed up film out in my lap and lots and so amazing ever since we're married now we're talking about kids and all man i pray for you man i pray that you get the happiness that uh... i get

experience in thank you brother appreciate that man yeah i mean look at if you if you even look at the first chapter of the lords uh... novella if you look at that first chapter you know he had him two people blind dated a damn olive garden dude

in the olive garden of eden baby two people ebd them he blind dated him right there damn lady orders apples right out of the gate and shit goes haywire and somebody damn them and there's a snake on the premises you know and they got a call them pest control and you know in the two guys in a realizing that the ovan fans there but uh...

but no i appreciate it man you know in and uh... yeah i i just you know it's funny i i i want different things in my life and but it's i'm also comfortable and man we may it's it's it all makes things so comfortable these days you know it's just like a damn people just serving comfort caves and i'm just in there i'm just sitting here about you know between two boulders with a with a met with a book of matches

we make it so comfortable each person separate comfortable sedate all you got a sexual feeling jerk out spot you know bust out all you got this guy don't worry here's this you got a headache you got a tickle are you ticklish i saw a pill yesterday online are you ticklish didn't get this pill you shouldn't have to live that way

what what way shouldn't you have to live in laughter it is a battle it is a war but i appreciate you man you're right and it takes effort in it takes a

adjustment nothing changes if nothing changes you know what we do what we can hear in uh... and uh... you know let's keep it moving here and let's let's let's let's you know keep the light where it is and that's moving forward in front of us uh... if you're struggling out there may know that i love you

and know that you are loved and sometimes people are reaching for you and you got a you got a you got to put your hand you know you don't you don't have to meet him halfway but some of you got to meet him at least five percent of way you know and you can do it you can do it

thank you guys for being a part of my life and uh... and i want to say you know we do we can hear that to be a pop up positive thing in the world and we got a single mom uh... nomination that came in right here let's get to it a few hours out of here south mississippi man i have a single mother i'd like to select her name is jenice abedra she just went through her second round of chemo i believe she's battling cancer she has a sweet little boy man and she's sweet herself and she's just been heavy on my heart and mind so i thought why not submit

a video man if you're seeing this love your brother thanks for all you do love the show gang gang baby gang baby there you go and that man is up there you can see that man does uh... he got the hard hat on he might be a damn i mean he could be coal miner doing a hell he could be doing an industrial microwave he can do it industrial size

microwave i could i do could be have a boat or be cooking up the damn biggest uh... tostito pizza roll you've ever seen you know you just don't know what a lot of these people are doing nowadays but let's see if we can get jenay on the line here man and yeah thanks for the submission and for brightening up my day man as always you can submit things through the ovan dot com

uh... videos for us to talk about to discuss things you've recorded uh... single mom nominations uh... questions you want to have possibly on the show anything like that uh... hello hey jenay hey can you hear me i can hear you

hey um... my name is theo i just work on a podcast uh... and we do a thing where some of our listeners sometimes will call in uh... and they want to suggest like a single mom that they know who is who just who they really admire so we had a guy named alec call in and i don't know if he works at like a carnival or he might do like railroad work or something but he um... he uh... nominated you and so we just wanted to send you a thousand dollars

to do something fun with your kiddo uh... thank you so much you're very welcome uh... you said what have you been up to what's going on with you right now in your world uh... currently uh... i'm at home i was diagnosed with uh... hodgkins lymphoma no is it hard is it scary

it was scary it was well the way i kind of found out about it was by accident uh... so at that point it was stage two so it wasn't wasn't as bad as what it could have been but um... but i've been going through chemotherapy and uh... may sevens is when i have my last uh... pet scan and so that will show kind of how much cancer is still there if there's any there and the scan showed that there was nothing there

i still have to go through treatment though and then um... also when i found out that i had cancer um... found out that i have bells palsy too so i don't know if you can tell like the right side of my face is just temporarily paralyzed really is no telling when that will self correct itself but um... but yes in march i just been kind of staying

uh... at home and i haven't really been able to work because my uh... my white cell count is really low and i'm more susceptible to you know getting sick easier so i'm more at risk especially with covid and all that stuff uh... they want me to stay at home and how are you able to stay positive during this like what's what some of that been like if you don't mind sharing some of that well i have a really awesome group of people

my family uh... they have been you know the people that helped me get through each and every day it's been a blessing really to have those people in my life without them i couldn't have gotten as far as i am now for sure yeah what is that like like how much does that influence you know or affect you you feel like like what is

like what are some things that people do that that really kind of let you know that you have support um... you know i've had people text me um... you know single mom like i have my son brent you know does brent need anything do you need to pick him up from school do you need to you know make dinner for you or is there anything that i can do that can help

you know your day to day um... that's been a really you know big help in my life is just knowing that i have people out there that are willing to take time out of their day to help me yeah it's big it's so important people just knowing that other people care about them you know right exactly it's a big thing

uh... my friend at bell's paulsy dude actually it was pretty yeah i mean not to say it was cool but i was kind of admired it i like things that are a little different so he uh... i don't think it's cool i'm so over it it's been like three months but really what does it feel like can you whistle no i can't whistle i can't i really can't

it's it's crazy um i can barely drink through a straw like it's just i don't know it's weird does it feel like is it almost feel like when you're at the dentist actually and they kind of give you that stuff wow yeah it does um sometimes i like if i use that muscle a lot it'll kind of tingle a little bit like it feels like it's it's wanting to do something but it it just can't i don't know it's really weird i've never had that feeling before

uh... yeah i've definitely uh... i've definitely wanted to do things but not been able to do them but um... dang uh... so what about your son so he goes to school yeah well right now he's uh... he's in like pre-k he goes to daycare but he'll start kindergarten uh... in the fall pre-k is pretty easy i think

yeah oh yeah yeah he's doing good is he yeah he's doing real well oh that's nice um... well uh... yeah we just wanted to say hey and let you know we we just want to be a

part of uh... something positive in your day today and your friend alex really cares about you and uh... and yeah we're just going to be cheering you on and when do you get that next uh... p-e-t scan that i'm not sure uh... we're kind of just doing it um by ear we're just playing it by ear right now so i'll go back to the oncologist next Tuesday

and depending on uh... how my blood level looks and my blood work looks uh... it'll determine whether or not they will continue with treatment or not uh... but my oncologist has to make that call but once i'm done with the chemo treatments they tell me i have treatments left uh... and then i'll get another scan but we'll just have to see so it could be could be soon i don't know

that's cool they got them dogs now they can smell cancer they said but i don't know if i trust them i don't know i don't know yeah you could just have a damn beef jerky in your pocket and next thing you know you test positive you know i have cats too so they can probably smell the cat and then mistake it for you the cat but yeah next thing you know you in treatment and it's just because you a pet owner

you know exactly yeah that seems like a little bit unnecessary but well look when that bell's wears off you send us a picture of you with a full smile how about that awesome i sure will thank you so much oh you bet and go do something fun with brint and uh... and you have a good day we love you

thank y'all thank y'all so much yep bye-bye and i and there you go right there you know nice to see a young lady stand so positive man that's a thing you know that lady she's out there she got she can't even do a full smile for a kid right now part of her face is taking a

you know the summer off or whatever and she's got to do you know she just getting it done and that's pretty positive thank you guys for being here with me today you know what i'm saying i'm upstairs if you need me baby you know where i'll be you know

i'm gonna be just keeping on going on you know i did some treadmill and earlier and i saw a damn bluebird this morning so i know the lords got my bag baby and i'm out there and i'm out there baby you know that i'm about to roll my quads out with a quad roller and really i got them jostles up in my damn thighs make me down i just feel so damn thoughty

you know i god but uh thank everybody for being a part of uh this episode i want to thank our uh our sponsor liquid death i want to thank you you know we'll make sure that we have episodes coming up even if i am out of town we're gonna make some this weekend uh with some neat guests uh really excited about it

and uh yeah that's all you know be good to yourself um you know you deserve it uh and be good to each other man we try god i want to you know i'll get in a place where i just gotten angry sometimes and i want to just be better i want to be better at it so and i don't think i'm being hard on myself i want to this is it this is the rodeo dog you know and i want to freaking know the whole cattle you know that

uh we had this this uh there's a gentleman akira the don and he's a music man and uh he made this he took a piece of a podcast and has made some uh different different things and one of them is uh this right there called i can't make you like me and um and it's from pieces of old uh from this past weekend and and thank you to everybody uh thank you to those two fellows that met up and in a in a pest infested living room to fist bump uh thank you to everybody

that's ever you know been to a hot tub and seen somebody who was pretending to be a child but was probably an adult you know masturbate out into the water you know thank you to everybody who loves people and if it's hard for you to love man i i know how you feel um and just know that you're not alone baby gang we got this