This Past Weekend - E348 Kyle Dunnigan

Episode Date: July 11, 2021

Kyle Dunnigan talks with Theo about breastfeeding as a child, going in for your first kiss, the possibility free will doesn't exist, starting a comedian fight club, and more! Subscribe to Kyle's YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/user/kyledunnigan  https://bit.ly/theo-von New Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour  Merch! https://theovonstore.com Music: “Shine” - Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek Support our Sponsors: Acre Mint Mobile: https://mintmobile.com/theo Peloton Podcastville mugs and digital prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to [e-mail]. Hit the Hotline [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://www.instagram.com/SeanDugan/    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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comm slash Theo tame that summer swamp in your pants at manscaped Today's guest is really just a patented individual. This man is a patented style of creative and and I think if God could have patented him he would and And so I'm just so happy to hear I'm so happy to have him here today He's already making me laugh and he's not even here yet, but he has so many great characters You have to check out his YouTube channel. We will put it below as the first link for you to please go and check out You know him from his fresh prints of DC On YouTube his craigs news live

You know from his impersonations of the Jenner's and the daddy mama and whoever I can't remember Caleb Jenner and and all of those people and And what I'm telling you are the Kardashians what I'm telling you today is we have mr. Kyle Dunnigan Oh We probably have similar kind of maybe genetic hairpins. Yeah, well, you're from I think we're from the same type of Community from Louisiana. No, I mean old-country like, oh, yeah, England English area

Italian is this you we have Polish Nicaraguan, but really? Yeah, okay different Somebody fucked on a boat probably to get me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not really a land animal, but It's a strong mix though Yeah, I don't know if it's good. Hey Kyle, can I have you pull the mic a little bit closer? Yes We do we gotta do a soft start. We're rolling. Yeah, and well, I like to Soft open. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You were late

I'm I'm a never late by the way. Are you really? Yes, like I am upset. I'm late and I When I was younger my mother was was like the bus is coming The bus screaming every morning. We never were late, but I have an enemy even from going was it really coming? Yeah, eventually, but we never were late, right? You know, I mean like she was we had 40 minutes and she'd scream this Oh, yeah, there's one when the bus would when it left she would have to drive us this way But we she never did because she was panicked person and you were out there now We did your mother have extreme was she like one of those extreme panicky people?

Yeah, her anxiety is through the roof and not and it's really affected me to be honest with you if we're gonna get honest on this podcast I'm not dead Did your mother breastfeed you? No, everything wrong also as a caesarean, which makes you a sociopath. Oh, oh Sociopath. Yeah. Oh, you came out the belly. Uh-huh. Oh Uh-huh, which you know my friend was breech birth out the belly. I'm like, how do you even do that? No, I don't think that's that's a thing Oh, he did it. No, but I don't think you get breeched birthed out You're a breech birth and then you get out the belly get Alan did it. Yeah, they said it I mean, everybody knew it his mom. Everybody's kept saying it and nobody ever said it about anybody else

So I would imagine you did it and he seemed like the guy that did it Mm-hmm. I didn't get oxygen for for a long time and I came up purple and they put me in a Incubator and the doctors prepared my parents that this one may not You know be mentally well and I have a theory. I think I I think I was born I think I was like a genius and then I got a little retarded and now I seem Like average intelligence. Yeah, I mean like Jean Tardid exactly. I like that exactly Yeah, man I could see that in you man because you definitely really I could see you some doctor walking over to your parents with like a shoe

Empty shoebox. Mm-hmm. You're like, hey, you might want to put some hay in this thing. You know, yeah He's gonna like that. Yeah, and I did it show bad signs when I was younger Like I would just fly a kite for hours and just with my tongue out and I was very focused on things Oh, I think I probably was asked burger or something. No one tested you back then They just were like he likes to stare at kites or he likes to play with string or whatever, right? Yeah, yeah, and I would just like plank on the piano just for hours like just listening to the so Oh D-flat the neighbors called you. Yeah. Yeah Wild so your mom was yelling for the bus and what were you got who was in the house?

She still fills me with it's a lot of anxiety. Everything everything is like she's defusing a bomb Like you have to put the thing in the like that everything. Oh, so I have a very Solid trigger to being late, which I'm sorry. I'm late. I don't like being late and I was very anxious the whole ride over I sped I sped past the cop. That's where I was at mentally. They don't care anymore Unless you are literally driving by shooting people. Oh, yeah, the cop. I feel like they're not stopping anyone I know I know cops My brother's a cop is it really and I mean the way this whole thing set up wait, how

You know risk your your life and your career by You know, but he was some mistrust some some guy was like It was his I shouldn't even say it. I'm not They like so I'll tell you it's very illegal and they just let him go They're just like I can't even right the black and white thing is so intense like I just not be involved in this Oh, if you're doing black crime, you are free to go. It's yeah, you can run in any you can do any it's like That's what it feels like because if somebody records it then There suddenly you're the bad guy. Oh, yeah

And they get like a certain amount of the recording and then you're just fired immediately But also, you know, these guys cops just to defend cops for five minutes. Oh totally They imagine a job where you go where people are being assholes all day like they're being assholes over here And you go there and they're they yell at you and they spit on you. Yeah, I'm like, okay That's finished now. There's these other people being assholes go over there. Yeah, and that's the and then 20 years of that Here's what they what they need not, you know, they need 20 minutes of therapy mandatory and oh Get a camera move. We used to be a peeping Tom also. We don't talk about Nick. Yeah, he has like a silent premature baby

Is that right? Yeah, me too. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I pray but anyway This should be a group. There's got to be a Facebook group on adult. Yeah, definitely. I'm just wondering about The effects of it and what they were on man. They got to be heavy, dude It's like you ever take a cake out of the oven like a few minutes early and then the oven breaks And you can't do any more making of it. Yeah all the time You guys have to eat that kind of like greater cake, you know, although and that's that example I mean cookie like fake cake batter is like a flavor at

Some ice cream polars, you know, it's delicious even uncooked. Yeah, but it's just like humans some people chocolate some people vanilla some people Got the sprinkles in them gay man, you know, whatever, you know, the fun fatty guy rum raisin Yeah, you know Paul Newman loved rum raisin. I worked at this Haagen-Dazs store in Westport, Connecticut and come in every now that only guy who would get the rum raisin. Wow You know Paul no kids. I don't know Paul Newman is anymore. They think he's that he they think he's a Condom or you know, it's a condiment. Yeah, maven. Yeah Maven is a word, but Anyway, my childhood was was track my mother would film my room with clowns

That's another thing she did to me Well, I want to know more I want to know more about a little bit of this birthing in the breastfeeding specifically before we move on Because my mother had Small breasts dude and I remember I almost remember trying to get milk out of it and there's nothing in it There's no way you remember that. I think I cuz sometimes I swear to God Kyle Sometimes I will kind of lay down and go like this and it makes me I Almost feel like it's dinner time, you know, like it's like I almost remember being I know it sounds crazy It's not like a real memory like some girl at a bar was like I remember being eight months old like it's not like that

It's like a genetic Reckons, uh, it's like a genetic. It's like a ghost in my body that comes to the surface of my skin When I do this like a ghost that has an idea that happened a long time ago What how old are you when you stop? Maybe that's a fair when I stop breastfeeding. Yeah, maybe we're 11 No, no, no, I was younger than that. I don't remember, but I don't I don't ever remember seeing my mother's breasts past four or five and And I remember but you remember them. Yeah, you can in your mind imagine what your mother's nipples look like And know what they are. I wouldn't say know what they are

I remembered them. I think as a feeding domicile kind of but do you remember what your mother's nipples look like? I never saw them. I never saw them. No, even as you got a little older, especially Oh, Kyle, I think your mother would be a neuter on the house I saw my friend's mom's boobs a lot. My friend's mom would just walk in buck naked and and I Like there I was 13 when you're really interested, you know, dude My friend Scott's mom walking down the hole in front of me one time Dropped something or the Lord took it out of her hand and set it on the ground for you. Yeah, bro She bent over to pick it up and had no underpants on. Oh my god, and I was like, I'm coming over here again

And that's when they didn't clean things up down there. Oh, it was oh, it was definitely It was just like you prefer that now because the first time you get sexualized You usually are into that like certain people who you're into feet like they saw feet when they first got sexually awoken or they You know had someone we we know somebody who like there for one of the first experiences was a girl told him to masturbate A girl told him. Yeah, it's masturbating. That was the first sexual first sexual experience locks in your brain I know the rest of your life. You're chasing that dragon. So we see so did you have that with do you now like it? Um that not not groomed. Oh, no, I I I will say this the first time I ever masturbated was on a

shelving unit because I climbed up this shelving unit. My brother had some magazines up there crack them open they had a can of uh Mint julep liquor Yeah, and I cracked that thing open too and so I'm sitting on this shelving unit dude on the top Wait, I'm sorry like that like like a shelf like that. That's a shelving unit. It was metal though It was like one of the metal ones with the cross with those cross straps in the back going up the x's kind of there's a metal And you were up on it. Oh, yeah, and you're on the top 13 or 12 Yeah, I was probably about 11 or 12 and I got that nudie mag. I think it was called

Like bust or odor or something like the french one swank and I got yeah something like that swank Uh rub or something, you know just something like I don't think rub is one I'm sure it's one. I don't think if not work on rub with it, dude It'll be premature babies. Yes. That was kind of it Wait, that would make so much noise and not be at all stable for you to Oh, that's part. I think that's what goes into it for me, honestly Why didn't you just take the magazine down and go somewhere else? I mean, that's uh, that was because it was in my brother's closet So it was already like the most remote place I could be for my parents or anybody

Could you come down from it? Why'd you have to be at the top of it master? That's where I got it. And I think I was just so In I was there does that image do a little something you see it? Does it that's what I was gonna say when I'm gonna buy a If I'm by like a old like a I don't want to say a poor shelving unit, but like the poor kids had them It was the style of poor people had I can't so when you're in like a marshals You might come across that and things and I really do it like

Makes me want to climb back up there like almost my arms will start going like that But I remember ejaculating up there for the first time Yeah You never forget that. Oh, I was I couldn't believe it I was like where where it is a moment where you you're you don't even know what happened Uh, it's disturbing. You think you're gonna die. You don't know what's gonna happen You don't know if you're about to win something Yeah

And it's coming from like I mean it's you're like genetic like It's like the dinosaur in yeah, you know, it's like that dirty reptile. It's like here's something Billion year old. I mean you see uh, it's in all of us all animals and also with the breastfeeding I saw this monkey. They reunite with its mom, you know after whatever and I just knew to find her nipple And uh, it's just all genetically coded in us. That's why I think we're very much much more machines than we think the free will And that's who we are a lot of it. We're on a uh Some sort of code. Don't you feel like we're sort of

Your behavior is a lot of it like that exactly is coded in and I think there's a lot more stuff We don't think about so do you think we have a lot of free will no I I don't I actually Sam Harris has a book about it and and he totally right. He does not believe there is hey And I it freaks you out. Here's why also. I think you need to put a lot of Weight into what he's saying is because you don't want to believe it. It's like heaven a lot of people believe in heaven Yeah, because you want to believe it When there's so much evidence there isn't heaven. Well, I wouldn't say that well What about this? Okay, the idea highway to it

There oh no, that was a great movie dude. It was It was great, but listen if you got uh, let's see get amnesia for example Okay, a little blood gets taken away from your brain for a bit I believe and now you can't remember your family or who you are Are you telling me you take all the blood out of your brain and you're dead? You suddenly remember everybody? What is that and they go? Oh, that's the soul. What was your soul? You don't have a soul when you're alive Wait, what happens? I don't have any blood Yeah, you have like if you're dead you have no blood. Okay. I mean nothing's running through your brain, right?

When you had amnesia, you didn't remember anything. How do you now remember everybody and yourself? How is that possible once you're dead you mean like when you go to heaven you remember your family? Yeah, and you're like, yeah, you don't exactly But most people believe in heaven because they want to believe it which is getting back to free will most people Including myself and I had to put the book down because it's disturbing Because he puts a very good case together about how we don't have free will and it's a white guy It is a white guy. Unfortunately It's a white guy. No, I still believe I look I believe honestly mostly white guys if I'm real honest with myself

Yeah, and like I mean I believe other people as well, but I When I think about people that I believe like About a lot of stuff a lot of them are white. I believe like a cat casual guy I I just go by tells, you know touching the face if someone touches their face when they talk to you Yeah, especially on like a moment. That's important if you ask me a pointed question And they go, no, I didn't do that. They lie. That's a lie. Oh biggest tells the touch face. Is it really? part of it's actually

Biologically like you actually get blood taken away from your face when you lie if you're guilty or whatever And so it becomes a little itchy and you kind of want to know But it's also just like you're trying to cover your mouth a little bit Right trying to hide the truth because you believe you're an honest person So you're just like it's like a cognitive dissonance. You're just you just you have like a little Brain flash. Also, there's microaggressions. Yeah, so I'm gonna make a quick expression if you catch it And that's all in Sam Harris book. No, this is other stuff But so you so going back to free will yes, sometimes I I wonder if and now we're so getting programmed by stuff

It's like that our free will whatever little we have it's almost like There's so many dog whistles out there now. Yeah, you know, like just with the internet and just you know, the the advertising It's like it's so hard to battle it. Yeah, you're getting programmed And you also your your thoughts come from your subconscious, you know And then you think you thought your thought but you didn't just kind of popped into your head You notice it But see now then but then here's and you you're actually a great case for this because you're like a very interesting guy, man and so

I you're one of the few people in the world that I see where I'm like, oh this guy has unique thoughts and ideas So It's interesting that you would kind of go with that because I feel like That doesn't really define you really. Do you think it does? No, I think I'm just a product of My mother screaming at me as we've covered. Yeah um things in my childhood where Uh, you know, there's some underwear pulled up higher than it needed to be in the back on man or women On myself. Oh really by others or by others

You know some little bullying and then there was like, um, were you bullyable? I was very tiny. I was miniature for so long and I really liked girls You know, you at that age where you want to be being tall is so important when you're in like seventh grade Dude, there's nothing crazier than some little guy that wants to fuck everyone Yeah, you don't want to talk about like, oh here we go. Look at him. Yeah, look at him. He's holding his dick up Yeah, yeah. He's just so tiny. He's pointing his dick at the arrow and it looks bigger because he's so tiny. Oh, yeah, it's crazy Yeah, and then I was voted class clown. I cried Oh, you cried and they found out about it. I I cried

I mean, I didn't cry like whale cried, but like I was in the hall when I found him and and um And I I just started tearing and they changed it to best personality because they felt back me The idea of being a clown to me. First of all, I was never I wasn't trying to be a clown. I was trying to be cool Pull up a clown dick Please we see a clown on your shelf. I didn't mean to interrupt you man, but you were trying to be cool now What methods were you using to be cool? You know, like hair combing gels? um Yeah, okay, and then this I get into this psychology

So I get voted class clown my I my mother knows what I said about it and she starts filling my room with clowns and I'm I'm why Why Why I don't know, but I I was so beaten down with like my voice didn't matter when I was younger That I never said I don't like this. I just sat in my room with clowns just for years And my phone would ring and it would just be this like laughing clown What do we go like ha ha ha? That's hysterical. No way. And that's my phone and I'd be like, hello

Oh my god I didn't like oh my god. You were like years later. I I went to therapy. I'm like, why'd you Why'd you do that? You were like, will it was it's almost a willy like a very cheap willy wonka kind of going I just can't believe you had the clown phone. That was big It was like a clown that was sitting it was like this kind of sitting on the thing And its eyes would light up all the creepiest thing you can imagine and it would laugh And I would just pick it up and talk to my one friend Look, I'm making this out bad. I I had great parents

I had a great childhood, but there were certain moments where you know, but what do you think it did to you there? Is that the phone? Yes, that's it That's so funny. Can you play a video that laughing and bozo the clown phone? Yeah, please do it I want to see him get erect. Oh my god. You know how you were getting hard by that countertop This is making me shelving unit. This hit me in the gut right here when I saw that clown It made me nauseous Here we go Oh my god, and that's your it goes that's hysterical

Kind of a cool phone like look remember bozo the clown that show vaguely One of my friends was on and I think or somebody told me they were and I just Always thought they were I knew a clown. You ever made a real clown And you get to know him as a person Oh, no. Yeah, I knew a clown. He was in a show. I just like Did you do a lot of stage shows? Like I started off as like an actor thing I didn't honestly this is another thing like my mother pushed me. I never wanted to get on stage or anything

I was I was pushed to audition. Uh-huh. Yeah, and what about your sound horrible? She's actually very My my older brother and sister both were like not performers And I think I was the last one she's like this one's gonna do this and then I was on a movie and uh We had a nanny for a week. My parents went to like Australia And she's like, do you not want to be here? And I was like, no, I don't and she's like, okay Let's go home. It's the first time an adult like listened. Oh I felt I'm exaggerating by the way. No, look, I just you know, you remember moments and like my parents did an amazing job But there's like moments that I remember. Yeah, and then I uh, yeah

I just got back from this therapy this trauma center for like a week and you talk about all like you're like Growing up stuff and like the things that shape you why you behave the way you do now Yeah, and you're fascinating because you can't There's moments that are so impactful That that right on the slate of your personality when you're younger you can't protect a kid enough Even if you're the best parent he walks out and someone Right somebody throws a fucking little harpoon or something at him and scares him adult bites him Yeah, and you didn't do the right thing after yeah, and then the there's one girl someone's teacher said to her

Uh, you're perfect and then she became anorexic. She remember that moment. I have to be perfect. That's my identity You can't help but like Run into traps. Yeah, I don't think that's what I that's one thing I was realizing after that week at this place. I'm like, is there any way to do it, right? No, there's so many variables you run into so many in one day I think about how many little things happen to you and then when you're younger you're just so absorbing it You're trying to find out. What's my identity? Who am I? And so those are really key and if you get a dirty clue from someone a red herring

Yeah, you know experiment in the 70s when they said all the brown I'd kids are dumber than the blue-eyed kids blue-eyed kids are smarter. They've never done this experiment now Yeah, this is a famous experiment and then the blue-eyed kids started to do better in on the test the brown I could started to do crappy and it just this insidious thing seeps into your head if you don't Uh, but as a parent your your job you can't control it to your best Best personality they changed it. Was it a small school? Yeah Like 150 kids in our class That's a pretty decent amount and when they I wasn't tiny were you dating in high school?

What was it? I tried and I was like the friend they would tell like I fucked this guy I fucked Jeremy last night. You know, yeah Yeah, I love this girl who who loved my friend who was like freaking like trash and I was that guy like Who's that guy John Crier? I was just John Crier all the time. Oh, yeah remember that pretty and pink by that movie He just like cried all the time. He played ducky. You don't remember that he played ducky in that movie. Uh-huh. Here he is

Here's his ducky That was me. Uh, it's the worst person to be in high school. John Crier from television Two and a half man. Two and a half man. There you go Yeah I met um, what is her? Molly Monroe did a podcast I used to go and uh, she came on it Yeah, no, and she she was cool. She hates 80s music Which I found fascinating because she sort of made that kind of popular

She's in the videos or she certainly gets packed into it. I know you think she It's weird how you kind of hate the things from your past. I feel like I think you don't experience them the way other people did Is that it you think? I don't know. Well, I don't know like Charles in charge guy hates Charles in charge, you know Really? Scott bio. I bet small wonder still likes it. It was a small wonder with that. Oh, is that the guy robot girl? Is that with uh, Jerry O'Connell? You might want to check this out. No this Small wonder was the most amazing tv show they ever made it on the air It was a man who was a robot engineer And it's the worst acting and writing ever seen like the the wife's like but you're a robot engineer

She tells him what his job is to tell the audience when you so then he has he made this robot that his boss didn't like a robot that would be Make everyone a kajillionaire and so he takes it home and he works on it at home And then she becomes part of the family and here's a scene from it My name is she's a robot to meet you big daughter. My name is vicki. Please to meet you So like four seasons have mom is thick thick, huh? Yeah, she's from some eighties. Yeah That kid never worked again, uh-huh none of them worked again. The kid got molested by his next credit Sadly, look at this dude, and that's joe biden right there about the smell that lady

Look at her him grab her all aggressive early eighties style. Dude. Is it? You know, I mean you do so many great characters, man Uh, are you starting to feel like? Um Well, first of all, yes, is do you think that the by do you think biden has that that perv streak in him? I don't I I sometimes don't wonder am I just watching enough weird edits of shit Or is this obvious? I think he's um just from he's a very touchy guy, but I don't think it's a perv I'm gonna do some sexually assault you I think because he does it to like all different types like kids old men. I mean, he's like

Sniffing old men's hair and he's touching everybody. He's touching women more obviously, but like I think he's just I think he's just a touchy guy my opinion. You got shades on the No, no, I got no I have shares. I want to be cool You I'll take mine off if you want. No, I want to put mine on are yours pretty expensive. Yeah Oh Wow, those are good Were you devastated? Was there a time in your career where you got devastated out here where you're like, I'm not gonna be anything um

Yeah, like this morning No, I never felt like I made it I always felt like I was You ever see cliffhanger just like hang white knuckling my career at all times I mean, I when I look back, I got to say that the last minute every time every stage I mean, I started off doing You know sketch and improv. It was what what I like Like more suited to than stand up and then I'm like 25 and like I have no money and I'm like, oh There's no money in this. It took me like all that time to go. There's no money to sketch. Yeah, no one said don't do that

Yeah, no one tells you that. Yeah, like you should get get snl by some miracle But like other than that. So then I was like, okay, I'll do stand-up. So I did that I got really lucky to make a living doing that I felt like, you know, this owner of this club took me out of his way because it wasn't a very uh assertive person Yeah, it's interesting. I would wonder how you would kind of yeah What was your beginning stand-up? Was it kind of like Brett Weinbach kind of you know, I'm talking about Yeah, I love Brett Weinbach. Oh, he's so funny, man. Yeah, I'm just trying to wonder what because I don't Um, these are too dark. Are they?

They're too dark. No, you put yours on yours are lighter. You can See if I can't see too much. Yeah, Brett Weinbach. I I really started here. I had bad. I had I had bad management Uh, when I was younger and not that they they were trying to do a good No level yeah, but See I would go up and I would do like a guitar song and then I would do a character It was weird and back, you know when I started it was like, you know, Tim Allen or whatever you got a deal by talking about yourself And so they were like, don't do the guitar don't do the characters So I listened to them because I just listened to what anybody tells me to and then I got to a point where now luckily with like

The internet and in the instagram and stuff. I can do I'm finally doing what I should have been doing the whole time. Yeah, but I was just Adults were telling me, you know successful managers and so I thought that they knew best and Yeah, I didn't have that inner thing where I listened to uh I'm starting to do it now a little bit more. Yeah Yeah, man. I mean, I feel like you're coming in your own at like a lightning speed Um with craigsnews live craigsnews live is interesting because some people hate it Like yeah, it gets a real response. Some people watch it because they hate it, you know It's got like I would say 90 of the people who follow me

Hate it and wish I'd stop and there's 10% that are mad that I don't do it more You know, I do it like once a month now And no one's happy by the way with anything I put out because I put out like I put this like worst caddy daddy or something else like We're and then and I so I just cycle around and you know with making money on the internet You got to be consistent every week and I can't be consistent So now what I'm trying to do is do like a weekly show or I do a little bit of everything Which is which is I don't know if I can handle that much of a workload of trying to write And shoot an edit and I also have to edit, you know, I'm not a fast editor

It feels like a lot of work, but it feels like So what I love is that it's so like you can tell that you're on every Every twist and moment of it is associated to you, you know, so it's so specific Um, yeah, man. It's awesome to know that that you're like existing out there and making cool stuff I'm I'm so excited. That's that's really nice because I I really feel like it was like Hail Mary pass This is happening and youtube Instagram, I don't make any money. I'm trying to get everyone over to youtube now. I'm like any money instagram either

Yeah, I just I'm trying to shovel everyone to youtube and like that's where where you can make some go there They're getting there. Yeah, and I finally got an advertiser yesterday Which was like because I wasn't making any money and working Like, you know 10 hours a day. It's a lot of work, but um, yeah e-forms Oh, I've used e-forms before yeah, they uh came through and they're they're sponsoring the fresh pres of dc show They're like the advertiser on that great. Yeah. I saw the first episode. Uh, how was the response to that? Really good It's been really good, and I'm trying to dover tail it like so I can not it's not uh, biden every week And I'll start adding other characters. Oh, like I'm gonna have you know, katelyn come in other

And even like I did this time-canceler Sketch that people asked for I only did one of them But uh, I'm gonna have my other sketch other characters come into the show and make it like a more general show Not just always about biden because I think that would get old, you know, yeah, that's a good point. That's a good read man. Yeah What I've done the credit dude I was on a date actually recently and I may have tried to make love to this woman or not And I kept doing the uh craigslist life boys and uh She hates me now. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it was good. I don't think it was meant to be dude because it's a good litmus test

Oh, it was so much fun though. I couldn't stop doing it which part which they and I was like, oh, yeah I'm not even I can't even get hard. Okay. Look at this penis. You're talking about your dick Yeah, I don't see why that wouldn't be sex sweet sex Being so bad in here, you know Like for some reason every time I make out with the girl, I'll always be like, oh, these kids are being so bad I always say that for some reason Like oh these kids are being so bad in me. Oh I think and she's like why he keeps saying craigslist

Like I couldn't not say it. That's so funny film that next time you do that for me I'll do it. We'll put on craigslist live You know, you like people. Yeah, just believe if you do this, I'll I'll put you on the show It'll start people other people doing it if we get everyone doing that when they start making out I love that moment when you first make out with a girl. I love hearing the stories about it because it's so awkward You're invading Like there's space so And some girls, you know when you're younger when we were younger was it was like I used to ask and they're like don't ask

And now it's like you better ask Yeah, so it's like all weird. Nothing's that clear and uh, I'll tell you this if anyone's curious on how to like make that first move Yeah, because some guys go into early whatever some guys don't know anyone you've got to go by by touching like a leg first Then if she touches you back, then you go to the next thing you wait for her to respond You have this little physical dance first. You don't go in for a kiss just out of nowhere Or it's the end of the night. I'm gonna just reach in And hang back let a night go by that you didn't make a move. She'll think you're cool I knew this girl who um was so I was fascinated with how she got girls

She was lesbian. She got girls to like her and straight girls. She would convert them And this I think works in LA more than other places but like thiantology, baby Absolutely This one time we're at this charlie sheen roast Fun fact you write you wrote on it. No, I was just at it. Oh, I was someone invited me So I was sitting at this table with her and this pretty like girl sits down and I could see she clocked My friend as the like Oh, she's gonna want me

and then Wait a little bit pretty girl sits down. Yeah, and she's like clocks like a lesbian. Oh, okay This is just just an example of like right Um, so she the lesbian girl turns her back her turns fully takes your channel And puts it her back to this girl So now this girl sits up like how'd this happen? Now she needs approval from this girl So then the pretty girl goes i'm gonna um rest. Can you watch my purse? And she goes No

Like that. Wow, they dated they dated for two years. Oh Anyway, just a little fun fact for everybody Yeah, and I'd be like, yeah, put your purse in my heart. I'll hold you. Yeah, that's what I would do I'm like, okay Why don't you just pour all your lipsticks down my throat? I'll regurgitate him. Yeah It's like you feel like you want to please but it's but it's also not being mean There's books on this. I'm not an actor. Yeah that guy wrote it that I've read

I read those books had a neg a woman. They used to call it negging. Yes Yes, that book was called David or Max the game the game. It's called the game Malin or whatever his name what happened to him. Obviously the guy disappeared I mean, I don't want to guess. Yeah I mean, is he married now? Yeah, let's see if he's married If we could see a clip of I don't want to no, that's fine waste anyone's time here, but it does kind of work I I I think you you really um, you know Strauss

You know Strauss Yeah, he looks like really different. You were a big astronaut's name too Neil Strauss It sounds like a very good astronaut name Uh, you want to make out some more? I'm have my my whole thing If I look back the the women in my life it's been like they they um I'm not very aggressive. So my point really you and spade went on like kind of a double date one night, didn't you? Yeah Yeah, you just mentioned he said, oh, yeah. Yeah. He's like oh my god. He's like got done again out of his house, you know We got a couple whippers snappers. We're taking it. Yeah

there sometimes they're like These I don't want to talk shit about them, but like it's funny like How no because one girl was a girl he was kind of dating or something and then when the girl was her friend or something Yeah, I'm not we're not I'm not talking bad about I'm just and we don't have to talk about it. No, I'm trying to navigate I don't this girl's watching. I don't want to insult her. Oh, she but she was sweet Sad men watch but she was sweet, but she just like didn't know A generational disconnect. Uh, it was it was more than that like this is an example You know like me and me and David pretty square

And uh, she's like, oh my friend. This was like this was like three girls with us It's my it's my different thing than he was talking about but like she's like she went into the um Bathroom they went to bathroom to do cocaine to the girls. This is like a nice restaurant They went to do cocaine and David goes, oh, they can do it on the table and she goes Oh, they can okay and she went to get up and go tell them they could do cocaine on the table like they didn't get Jokes, right? You know Like in a way that blows your mind. Yeah, they were German or something might have been German But that's interesting. Yeah, um

Dude, I'm still thinking about the clown phone No, oh, you know what I had the sports illustrated flip open football phone We got that thing. Look that thing up dude. It was horrible It was such a piece of trash getting Getting but it was so huge when I was young we saved the Kool-Aid points and we got my sister got the Kool-Aid Jacket and then all the black dudes would oh you I always wondered who was Able to save all those Kool-Aid points. We did

Is that your phone? Yep. That football? Yeah, that is cool. We thought it was cool, dude. Well, we had very different phones. It fell off. Yeah. Yeah, we did Different Everything I get and he always wants to be turned Stores are busy. The cashiers are impatient. The stores are busy. Is this about the only thing that wrecks the holiday season? Catch this. It's sports illustrated. It's most everybody in that video look trans My goodness, it's a telephone inside of a football. What? Football inside of a football. I was looking for the fast It's a phone car. It looks like it looks like a regular phone

The problem was it would fall off the stand. It comes on an actual Uh, that is a cool idea NFL stand. It would fall off and hang open and then it would be I'll tell you. Yeah. I just I kind of feel it fumbled itself kind of All right, I want to let you guys know I got some tickets coming at you. Uh, I will be um Running my netflix special taping over there in nashville Uh, and that is august 13th and 14th. Those are going sale next friday Uh, also on sale now huntsville, alabama Uh, I'm just going to be practicing

Summon up material for it and that's huntsville, alabama august 8th 9th and 10th One show each night. Those are on sale right now Also still on sale. We've got uh, oh saint louis is sold out. We've got sentinati charlotte Durham chat nougat Knoxville nilmington uh, delaware wilkes bar

minneapolis charleston richmond virginia baltimore portland burlington vermont Uh, portland main that was albanny new york buffalo in columbus, ohio get all your tickets through theo von.com tour any other site there's going to be up charges. It's going to be Uh, scammers and hype beasts. So get them there theo von.com slash tour the new dates, uh Are for theo von live and the huntsville and nashville are for uh, the dark arts finale So looking forward to seeing you guys everywhere. Thank you for supporting me

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I was at a fire dude. Somebody had burned down something in our town, right? How old? I was probably I would say probably 12 And I biked over to this fire and this girl's over there and Some big dude was like you fucking pussies need to kiss right and we were too young to even hear anything like this And I like was in love with this girl and she was like, oh my god What a and I looked I was not I was like not a cool

I was not a kid you would kiss if you were a girl. Uh-huh. My friend was my friend scott He got all the kisses and I would just be like, oh Yeah, and I fucking didn't know what to do. I didn't even know how to do it. So I like you pussies better kids Yeah, yeah, and so I opened my mouth and just like started moving towards her face And she like left me a good like right onto her face and I didn't know what to do and it was just so uncomfortable You just mushed your like mouth on her mouth. Yeah, just pushed it. I just like Yeah Was it good? Did you like it?

It was scary I was my all I cared about was hoping she cared Like okay, just hoping it was okay like is this okay for her and then like She never really even looked at me after that and she played volleyball and then her name was emily and uh A couple years later. She let me brush her hair at a campfire. So I'm like I wonder if fire Has something to do with oh, she linked it up But she had beautiful hair like a horse dude and she would let me she let me brush it in a fire Nice man, and then she went bang at some dude in the woods or something. Yeah, right?

At least I got her like prepped up. You got her. Yeah prime. I was like, hey get out there. Give him hell, you know I had my first kiss was this girl was she was like 13. I was like seven Listen, I'm like her her friends and she was like dating whatever you're 13 or dating whatever some guy and like we were All the Hampton beach in New Hampshire and sitting around and she's like Why don't you take me on a date and they're all laughing like she just kept saying this stuff to me And they're like, yeah, take her to mcdonald's and I was like, I don't know. I don't know Then everyone went inside and I was standing on the step. I remember so I would became her height And she came up she came up to me. She's like see you later and then she just like made out with me

And then she was in her bikini. She turned around so like it was I was I guess I was sexually assaulted But it was great It was like not you know, so it was bad, but like that was not a bad moment That is a good memory that I have of being um uh Oh, that's that's inappropriate of her. I guess but she's 13. That's pretty young. Oh, that's still that's I was like seven That's great It was great. Then the next time was I it was like remember truth or dare. It was a big way you got a kiss first kiss

and and they were like French kiss whatever I didn't know what french kiss was but I I knew it was like something with the neck That's what I thought so I was like, I think you I think you lick their neck Oh, yeah, but I was like 60 percent sure. Yeah. Yeah, so they were like Kyle french kiss tiffani And then tiffani gets up and I go to my friend who said like the thing to french kiss Hey, I don't feel like french kissing right now. Can I just like kiss her in regular and he was like, okay regular But I just dodged a book. I would have licked her neck. Oh, yeah, I would have just like Like a couple llamas saying they would bite each other. Yeah

Yeah Yeah, oh man It's so crazy how there's so much going on inside of you in those moments. It's so intense in the rest of your life I'm just sort of like living off. I remember the first time I saw a boob in the moonlight It was the first time I saw a live boob. Oh god and like I still remember it like you remember your mom's I guess was your first boob. Yeah Wait, we never talked about your mom's nipples Do you don't remember exactly? I have a decent memory of them. Are they big areolas? Are they no small?

Yeah, can we confirm that? I don't want to call your mom and confirm that. I love my mom. I don't want her to I don't want to I mean Oh, could we uh, it would be it would be she wouldn't tell you want to draw him? Huh, you want to draw him? No, you draw him and then you send her you could see it. Just right. Hey, mom. He's just right. Yeah Dude, I saw my grandmother's breasts. She was changing shirts one time Even though she wore only the same shirt all the time. I think she just went and changed like a fresh one and uh I walked by the room and her door was open and she was just sitting on her bed in her breast right and she saw me see him

And she hated me for it. She didn't go. Oh honey. I'm Know that just glad it was like something was wrong with me. Yeah. Oh really? You know, I went a guy last night a guy met a girl on a date last night He goes hey, I really like your hair right nice guy Because I really like your hair. She goes it's a wig Like it's his fault. Yeah, like it's a good wig then. Yeah, she's like it's a wig That's uh, okay. There's something going on with her. I like your fucking fake hair then who gives a thing Be nicer. No, that's she's got a lot going on. Oh, yeah

Yeah Nothing weirder than a than a mean grandma though. That's that story's upsetting. I had one grandma. It was a little she wasn't Here's this we were riding in the car. She was smoking on the back and I was I was as you know Very quiet child. I never spoke up for myself and I was about to vomit. So I said to her Nana, do you mind not smoking? I don't feel well. It was very hard for you to even say that So she goes She kept smoking and I got off and I remember I barfed on my flip flops Oh, I can still see the bar from my flip flops. Oh, and she wasn't like, oh, I'm so sorry. You did tell me that and I'm sorry

She's like, I gotta kind of clean off your flip flops. Yeah, I loved her but she It was a more they and we're also softer people. I was a sensitive kid. So things hit me like really I like internalized everything Like I remember my grandparents. We were driving one time across America somewhere. It had to be America Yeah, and um I think my grant somebody accused me of pooping myself and I didn't A grandparent. Yeah, or somebody said, hey, somebody pooped themselves in the car

You know, and I was the only one in the car that wasn't a grandparent, you know so But I hadn't I kept like thinking like, you know, you can feel like if there's poop in your pants Yeah, I couldn't feel that so I was like, I don't I didn't do it, you know Um, and my grandpa had done it, right? Yeah, took me to the gas station or whatever though Went in the bathroom and like washed my butt as if I'd done it Do you also wash his butt? Yeah So he got back in the car

He used you to cover his shit. Oh And my grandma hated me for it. Dude, my grandma was nuts, man She had like this lady that would bring over pet raccoons and I couldn't go in there when they were in there Pet raccoons. Yeah This lady named del was her name like the computers Oh, shit. Well, maybe your grandmother's trying to protect you from like a dangerous animal No, she just wanted to be together with that lady. She just wanted them to alter herself But it was just a different time, man

Yeah, I think generations are different too. So it's weird because I feel like our parents probably didn't like Attach so many of their feelings to their parents and stuff or their behaviors to how they were raised Yeah, it was different. But now we kind of do that a little bit more. You think back and go. Why am I like this? Yeah, there's a lot of shoving shoving down in the generation before us now. It's almost too much Uh How you feel about things I think publicly I see so many videos and I think I think you could have kept that to yourself Yeah, you had her some stuff like that. Demi Lovato girl keeps coming out of the closet every week is something new

Yeah, you know, she's gay. She's straight. She's a merry-go-round. She's a bartender one week There's a video this girl online. She's and she's explaining how she changes gender. It could be on the hour It's like how how am I supposed to know? So she has bracelets she wears and she's wearing this this the prayer that means this It's like you got it. It's exhausting to be your friend. I would think yeah, I bet miss man. What are you like this? Yeah And it also well now it's come full circle because you have transgender You have men competing in women's athletics that I am sitting back and enjoying the show because It really threw a monkey wrench People don't know what because it's like you're trying to support and hate this same person and you're like

Your mind explodes and you got to feel bad. Imagine you're you're a woman and you are worked your whole life I'm going to the Olympics. Everyone's like you're the best and you're the fat and then this 43 year old guy comes into this He's yeah This is not going to last. There's no way this is There's a six. We're in a unique time. You can't Be biologically a man and and and join in a Female olympic sport. Warren Hubbard has become the first ever transgender athlete And is she packing rude or what's her deal?

I think do they say They why don't they just make a section for transgender people? Oh Yeah, maybe that's the answer I think that's the answer Make it and don't even make it the olympics at first just make it like a just a national You know i'm saying like see if there's enough to even make a competition. You might only have There's not going to be enough in an audience. They probably know that the financials don't work out

I'm sure triller would sponsor it dude the people that did that Oh, yeah, triller god, they're making money I don't know if they are dude. It looked like a place that uh, they had too many concerts in it and stuff I don't know how didn't he make 20 million off that or anything of some else those fights one of those kids did Wow, we got to do what if we fought What could we make If we you're I think 20 we take our audiences we say we're gonna fight and we're it's gonna be all out Like we're we don't want to fight. That's what's fascinating. Oh, that's exactly

I mean like we're gonna get in the ring. We don't want to fight and we're gonna but we're gonna We're gonna Yeah, if someone falls down for real and hurt well fall. Yeah, but that's called knocking somebody out. Yeah So someone's knocked out. We fight. There's no bell There's no bell. There's no ref It's just us. Oh no ref. Yeah I like that. What would we make I think 20 hit 20k each That's not worth it

If you said a half a million dollars We'd have to do it wouldn't we We said a half mil. I think you would have to fight What would be let's do a comedian match up and maybe we could put this card together Okay for people and maybe we don't even fight. We're the announcers. Boom Now we're making money. We're still making our 20, but we're not crying. We'll get yeah Who could we pit together? I think you have to put Chris Delia

He's in the first. He's he's the uh main card. Yeah, he's on the main card We'd have like Eliza slashing her on like the lower card. I could Chris versus Eliza Oh my god, she would destroy he would destroy her. I mean she would not I don't know she's got pretty Jacked arms. I don't know. She would probably take the women's uh Whitney maybe Whitney versus Eliza would be quite a match up Both both like athletic Whitney's got them heat bags that were on her dog them tits Wait, is that help the fight or I don't know it would help me watch Eliza load it up. No, I don't know

Sara Tianan has that anger Eliza's just like tone from yeah Yeah, those are rage muscles. Oh, dude. She's always mad. Sara Tianan get destroyed. I mean absolutely She's from Georgia, dude. She would bite the frickin She'd snack the vulva off of somebody if she had to if she would grapple well That's a good point. She gets them on the ground and she's a child so she has something to fight for Yeah, exactly. That gives you the double strength thing. Yeah, I have these vacant ovaries have nothing out there going Any letterman would do pretty well. I think any would do well. Yeah, she's tough Greg Fitzsimmons was out a lot of street fights when he was younger. Greg. I think I'd put him in against a woman

That's that's what it is. It's like It's Greg versus any letter. Yeah, it's like that is the fight that people want to see Did you in any date or no? We didn't date and we're like boy. We didn't we didn't know we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend but we were we were hung out for a little bit and Women end up just hating me. So that's the pattern. Yeah. Do you think have you been in a real relationship? Yeah, I've been in a bunch. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah And what seems to be the thing is there like an ending piece like mine. I have like big commitment issues

And then I'll like have some sexual malfunction as I get into relationships. Okay. Um, so I just don't get as like Exacerbated in my penis or anything if I'm just like with the same partner, you know, kind of yeah, yeah woman. Yeah, but um so I just you know, so that usually kind of my relationships will fade out there because I think I don't want to commit So my body's saying it was like we're not gonna fucking Yeah, there'll be little clues along the way where you go. Oh, I shouldn't do this long term I shouldn't have a baby with this person a lot of my relationships. I look back and I I imagine like

Drawing it out in your head. You're like, what is it like if you had a kid? I always do that Yeah, yeah, and I imagine like in a room with the baby going sh my mom is not happy today Hey, we gotta be quiet and then I go, okay. This is not listen to that song in the arms. Yeah Yeah My mind is a drift where I don't think I've fixed. I think my next relationship will be um like like a forever longer term thing It's because I don't I I wasn't expressing my problems enough. I squelch them We're like the same patterns and then it builds up like Resentment or something and there's like a drift and then we kind of break up. That's usually what happens in my past relationships

But Are you a real hammer in the bedroom or you're more like a delicate man? It's a hammer time. Really? What? Yeah Cannot even imagine that Things change and the lights go out. It's always that's the key. That's the thing Yeah, like I know a famous musician that people say is like a love maker and you would never expect it Like he lights candles and stuff and it's like a dude. You'd be like I don't do that, but I and I think it's key like when you're you're younger

Yeah, you listen and ask what they like and then you start to get uh like a rolodex Of ideas and stuff. Yeah, and just you could feel out what type likes what and then uh, you know But you know the only young guys don't ask, you know, I can hear when I was young I was so horny. I would be like I would ask anything like how are you doing at all? I would hear as soon as they were talking was like, oh, what a fuck It was just like I couldn't hear and it was just so it was hard to like pretend you were hearing, you know Then it's like, I mean, you know, could you have a baby? You think I could see you holding the baby

I could see you escaping to canada with a baby if things got bad here. Yeah, that's what I would do That's exactly what I would do with a canada. I didn't think about having a kid. I mean, um, the thing about Having a kid is nobody uh sells that very well at all. I mean you hear them. They go, oh, it's changed your life It's a lot of work. It's this now. It's not like It's great. It's never that. Yeah Be prepared and your relationship's gonna change with your woman. It's not gonna be it's more of a true partnership, so you got to take a bite of the romance it just that's been So documented. Yeah. Do you want to have kids?

I think I need to get to a place where I want to I'm starting to see you be a good dad better You should be a dad. That'd be good. I think I would I just don't want to be I want to have I just can't imagine something being at my house all the time when I'm not there. That's it. Yeah I just not that not there but just Just the thing is it was never go and it needs you all the time. Yeah, never go It's like had it where that yeah, it's got too much batteries in it And if you stop it you go to jail. Here's a guy right here. He's doing well right here my buddy This is gary larson's son. Uh, he used to draw the caricatures

No, shit. He kind of looks like one of the characters. No, it's not really but that would be cool though Kyle what's up guys? Hey I was just wondering how do I know if you're not a deep fake? Oh, shit ganging. This is gonna uh, this is gonna happen Five years from now. That'll be a real legit thing. What is it? So I know deep fakes So a lot of it's like, yeah, it's it's funny when I'm watching the characters. It's like I when I'm watching a character. I feel like I'm watching them I know it's your creativity behind it, but I feel like I'm watching them most of the time

Well, you know, it's funny. I don't use the deep fake technology. That's really good Mine is a shitty janky thing because I found that the real deep fake is creepy and not funny Like the wrong side of your brain is is freaked out when it's close to the person Yeah, like I don't know if you've seen the real deep fake ones that look really good. Have you seen those? I think I've seen some of them. I got one of uh, tom cruise. Yeah, like this This That's my friend Miles Fisher, dude. Is that right? Yeah, he's doing Look, it's amazing, but

God, that's a really good deep fake. That's not a deep fake. This is no, that's deep. That's not Tom's house. Yeah Yeah, that's amazing, but this isn't that's just him. He looks like this, but they so that's Tom cruise his face on it That's Tom cruise his face on him. He already does a good impression himself. Oh, okay But the deep my bad people. He's fooled like a bunch of people. There's he's got a tiktok account. That's like good for him It's amazing. But anyway, it's um, I find it's not as funny. Yeah, comedy doesn't work when your brain is like wait, something's wrong here It's like the brain is supposed to know something wrong. Yeah, just so it can enjoy a ball and relax like South Park looks really goofy Um, and the face swap thing I have looks very goofy. It's clearly like kind of broken But that I did a commissential pilot and we used this extreme deep fake and it was like creepy

It was wow wasn't it funny? They didn't pick it up, huh? No, but I'll tell you this It was crazy what I made what I did with their money was crazy. It was awesome. No, it's crazy It was did you ever put it out? I just put like everything I do and here's what I thought I was like, I'm gonna show them and I I could lead a sketch show because I do music and these other things But then I like I wrote this script and then I thought Uh, you know, it's like a three part like ab and c plot time jump script. It's always already confusing Yeah, and then I'm like, I'm gonna have the commercials and show like my other characters within that But you can't jump away from uh, these are things I learned you can't jump away from a narrative story

And go somewhere else for any more than like 10 seconds like right family guy will do a quick joke, but you gotta come back to the story I would go away for like a minute minute and a half So then it feel like you just churn the channel on the person. It doesn't work Even it's funny. They're like while I was watching that other thing Then the time jump and the three plots made it really confusing. It was just so So it just looked like you were changing channels. It was crazy. Is it is it so do you confuse yourself sometimes with kind of the With trying to put it all together. Is it yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how to do a weekly show where I don't lose my mind

Where I'm satisfying people and I can have a regular show So I can make um a living doing this because right now it's like You know, I do shows like I started doing this like Sylvester Stallone show which was gaining followers and stuff But then it's like other people are like there's too much of this So I stopped doing it and that drops off and those people like where's that? It's just like I gotta do one thing and somehow do little clips of everything I'm not sure and you were doing Craig's News live five four days a week. I was doing it so much that was just like a For me, it's

Just trial by fire and just I'll get better if I just keep doing this And I was kind of feeling that way about it. You're gonna you're gonna it's all gonna I mean it's happening I feel like it's growing your channel is growing. Yeah, it's growing and getting advertisers I can get off the grid with having to worry about a network and all that stuff because what I do I don't think is easily advertised very um offensive to a lot of people Kind of or I don't feel like it's just genuinely funny or it's well. I feel like it's not offensive Personally, I don't want to hurt some feelings. I I just know it's it clicks all the buttons of an advertiser says no We're we we're not gonna advertise right, but that's all gonna I feel like slowly that's gonna change

I mean in five years Every other person is gonna have a network, you know a small little network. Yeah, you can see it like Even with podcasts and it's like rogan was this thing that is like insurmountable, you know and then There will never be another rogan, you know, there will just be other small. There'll be some big podcasts like Dax Shepard and like I mean, there'll be some big shows, but there will never be I don't think There'll just be a bunch of other kind of smaller tiered shows now

And then there'll be even different ones, you know, and it'll like it's all getting Different, you know, yeah, I think I think we're in the right Pocket you're in the great. You're in the future, but it's funny because because youtube is now I guess like that they take so much money. Do you know had a podcast netflix hires first had a podcast Netflix hires jerry eating. Oh, okay I don't know if I would watch podcast on netflix though I don't know. I feel like they're just getting into it because amazon's taking over all of a sudden That's the weird thing though. It's weird. I don't know how they're gonna, but who knows who knows what'll happen

I love youtube. It's just they take like 50 percent of your super chats Yeah, 30 percent of your 30 percent of everything else Like your members. I have members joining and like they take that much at a certain chance. Yeah, that's unreal Patreon's only five to eight percent, but it's harder. Yeah, it's harder to get people from youtube That's the thing. It's like the problem is like people don't want to get off a platform Are they getting people from instagram over to my youtube has been like a sludge. It's been tough And then getting them to like patreon is like another thing. So I was like, let me just do it all on youtube, but uh Yeah, they take so much. It's brutal. It's a lot. It's crazy, man. It's and um

Then the government takes 50 Yeah, yeah, like california and the federal government. It's always like 40 some percent and then Yeah, it's pretty crazy. It's crazy for yeah, california and specifically for la. It's an extra percent So it's 14 living in california on top of it. Yeah um Kyle have you thought about doing uh seasons like maybe do 10 episodes instead of trying to do that every week do 10 I think that's the way to go Because then you and I will give you credit for that idea

Here's a beautiful question from a guy right here. Good man, probably Kyle's leaving his family. Someone's like to imagine what they're doing. Yeah, it does seem like he just left them Man of your work Been following you for a long time to you you as well. You know man Um Yeah, guess this question's for Kyle. Um, how have you felt in terms of you know recent censorship and kind of Shadow banning I don't want to know if I don't want to call it, you know that Serious of a term, but you know, I'm sure some of your videos and stuff like that could kind of swept under the rug sometimes

based on the uh the content and the people involved with it. So Not to get too serious But would you know just kind of want to know your feelings on that without getting too political and uh, you know See what you think about the algorithms of that's going on on on social media right now that kind of favor from certain things and You know kind of hide others. So cheers, man. Keep it coming and uh big fan of y'all's work gang gang He's in a hot Honda Civic. I believe He could be and it looked like it was a stick shift as well. Do you pick that up at all? The stick shift. Yeah, I didn't clock that but he also maybe

He might have a dog if I'm looking at that back seat is a dog hair No, it's a just a design. Um, no, it's a good question. I look at this stuff. What do you also shave his neck? Well Do you know what I mean? That's not easy. You gotta clean. That's a strong beard Oh, he definitely I would eat out of that neck You know what I'm saying? It's he moisturizes it. Yeah It's that clean if he doesn't any of blue off of Um, yeah, the question brother. Yeah, that's a good question. That's a good question And it is really exciting Biden stuff might have gotten a little bit banned up

I don't mean to be paranoid, but when I look at like like percentages and then comments Because they don't ban those There's definitely some squelching going on because It's not tracking with other videos. So you could tell Um by like percentage and um, oh, yeah comments kind of how many views a video gets and the biden stuff has just been like Really squelch on instagram in particular Um, but yeah, I mean, it's crazy how much them like the media influence. I mean just politics It's just crazy how much it's gotten. I stopped tagging. I didn't tag biden's time because in my last video

I just didn't tag him. Yeah But yeah, I don't think you need to but it's it's crazy. I mean the power that they have too Because it's like that's our only way to communicate now. I know but when there's money involved and I don't think it's some Dark, you know, whatever People think I don't think it's really a political thing. I think it's money I think it's like advertisers want to stay away from some political So youtube gets that clue and so you're not gonna be making much money off your video So we're gonna if you do a try if you did had done a trump one. I bet they would push it

Oh, maybe I don't I think I don't I don't know the answer, but I think they don't like anything political on A youtube instagram. I don't know the answer, but I definitely could be true. I don't I don't know either Um, but luckily the thing we have is like, uh, yeah But it's like anything it's not like anything it's inst like it definitely All the mainstream media certainly skews more leftist. Yeah. Yeah, totally. I mean no CNN is the most ridiculous channel. It's gotten so bad. I used to be a CNN watcher, man

Like five years ago and now I'm like nothing. This is just anarchy. This isn't even real Jeffrey tubin apologizes on CNN just real quick. So funny. Did you see this? Yeah, I mean This is the channel now This guy He and he says here he didn't know the cameras on the the conversations over but they need to He needs to go to therapy to be a better person better person. Yeah, but a person who knows how to work zoom better Yeah, like she like she acts like she doesn't masturbate in this I want to find out the shorter one. What the hell were you thinking? Yeah, it's like

It's just so bizarre. It's bizarre. Yeah, that's why and this is one of the things that's helped create such a better world for uh Uh Hello, Allison. It's been a while. It has been a while indeed. I feel like we should address Um, what's happened? First of all, she said this has the most I don't masturbate dress on she. Oh, definitely. I don't even have a vagina in fact, I uh Look once a month. I cough a little bit of blood into a napkin That's it. That is what she has maybe once a month her nose runs

Right, just a drip seeing you since some of our viewers look both of his hands up on the table Yeah, I'll recap. I'll do the honors And she's just help yourself. Okay. Help yourself poor choice of word Perfect on a zoom call with your colleagues from the new yorker magazine Everyone took a break for several minutes during which time you were caught masturbating on camera You were subsequently fired from that job after 27 years of working there And you have been on leave You have to do this

How have you not done this because it's already done. It's already as hilarious as it could be. That's a good point Start there. Um to quote Jay Leno What the hell were you thinking? Well, obviously, uh, I wasn't thinking very well. I've been had to drag him through the mud And say what a bad person I am. He just didn't know the camera though. I think one point This is him saying that I wouldn't exactly say in my defense because nothing is really in my defense Yes, it is. I didn't think I was on the call. I didn't think other people could see me. That's a really good defense Yeah, and it just didn't think it would see you It's like jerk out front of a window like oh, I didn't know someone could see me

I mean it's a little different because it was a zoom call, but He he really should know the etiquette of the with the lights on I don't know what happened. Yeah, he's at that age Oh, we don't know. I'm shocked. I'm amazed the guy still jerks off. That was the most surprising thing Well, that's what I was thinking. Imagine the first time he jerks off again After that and looking at his dick like he's some of you got me into this, but I'm still gonna come back to an abusive Husband you go back to that's when you've really Lost the fight. It's like that. Maybe the five heartbeats or whatever kind of What's that on me?

I don't think that's right, but it's almost that reminds me of like bobby brown and tina turner or whatever Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, exactly exactly whatever went back to his penis even though it got him into At a whole mess. Yeah, he just slowly unzips his pants and sees like I'm gonna do it again. Yeah Or I'm gonna teach you Oh, you think Maybe that would be a that would be a I think a healthier thing to go at it With that attitude little boy. He's son of a bitch get a little bitty fucking. Yeah dog leash around you like the camera on You turn the camera on again. You like that

All right next question spit donkey This guy's a tub that's insane Like why would you to say the guy had a natural deal? He forgot the zoom thing was on it's like you can't laugh it off but the weird thing is it's like the more that We have to say things that are we have to call out ridiculous because the more that we don't the more it becomes That's the norm. Yeah really

That's a great point because there's nothing left like the major Uh networks and outlets are acting like this is normal and that he needs to bow to the holy People who who are the people that don't right like who Everyone relates to him That's watching. He's like, oh man, that would suck Right, who are the people like oh, I can't imagine how how'd this guy even do what's going on? Yeah, who's going like I'm glad he apologized to me Is there anybody home? Thank god tuban apologized now. I'll listen to his thoughts right so then what are we apologizing to

It makes no sense. It's all a big show. It's silliness And I mean luckily there is youtube and stuff where we can make People could talk and twitter people can But yeah, people barely can now twitter's i mean twitter. Yeah, yeah, it's getting suppressed twitter's bad I mean you just get attacked you say black twitter gets insane. It's like people that have you what's black twitter? It's just like a big group. It's just it's mostly black people on twitter I guess it might also be white twitter But they also

Hashtag it a lot black but it looks like black twitter go get them, you know, and it's like some Lady name on tondra who has literally 230,000 tweets and it's like what? How could you and it's just like tons of people like that and it's just It's just amazing how we let twitter run everything like Like you would think if something was this bad for us if it caused this much pain and panic in the world um Like I even had this this came up. I remember Comparing coronavirus to the what? Oh, I said this was right at the beginning of coronavirus. I said coughing is the new n-word

And bt online that's a good point though crushed bro this but I must have got a lot of tweet retweets Oh, it was so great people are happy to retweet Um Yeah decent amount anyway a ton of like that's a good point though. You're right people really got upset if you coughed Yeah, really upset because I've done both dude and uh, definitely the cough was that is a brave tweet you did That was the cause is a brave tweet. You know, it's funny. I got a text from my agent. I got a text from freaking like, uh Big like a guy was an agent like some of the biggest stars out there 2000 retweets who was like love that tweet today, bro. Like there's so many people that are like cheering on anything

That's just because it's like now. It's the punishment is so severe. You are brave to put that out. It is a legit brave Uh thing to do because it's the punishment is like But look at it got like morgan wallin is a white musician right does country music His ticket sales quadrupled when he just said the n-word n-i-g-g-a calling his white friend that right and not even like as like, uh You know, he just said like you're hearing on rap music or whatever. Yeah um So I think there's the way to use this whole thing and i'm not saying go out and yell the n-word or write it on a Birkin you made a comedy joke that's not you want this now you want people to

You can you believe he did this you almost want the canceling because it's only gonna help. Yeah, that's why I hope youtube is like I just hope but that's the thing we keep that you can't control is if the platforms will let you remain Yeah, I yeah, I mean And it feels like game of thrones almost. Yeah, I worry about my youtube channel. I'm concerned Do you go to nick for that? Nick's a good judge. Do you think or not look at it? Nick, would you think you would worry about Kyle's youtube channel? I really don't because like you said like it's it's only the it's the appearance of the money They because you're talking about political but the stuff you're making fun of is like

Has nothing to do with political beliefs on either side. Well, there's a lot of stuff there that uh, I mean It's Caitlyn Jenner. There's Caitlyn Jenner stuff is a big hilarious It's a big crazy you see her drive down the road the other day and somebody's like go get them Joe or whatever they call her now and she's like thanks, buddy. Yeah, baby Thanks Man, if I had an extra eighth day of the week if I had saturday sunday Grunde maybe Grunde

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You're gonna be making half a million dollars a year off of youtube You're gonna be in a great spot, man. That is a dream to have your own thing where you're not Because even just being an actor for all those years and just waiting for an audition and then you go in there and then they're like You're like, am I good enough? This is awful. Yeah, you wait around a little biscuitty freaking chick That's never done. Yeah, and then you're doing someone else's writing that you don't like. Oh, that's the word. Can I please have this job? Did that for ever? I stopped going out on auditions and stuff because it's all the time It takes to memorize and then we're driving to the thing. Anyway, and then showing up unprepared. That's what I would do all the time I might drop over there. So yeah prepared one time I came back from I remember this I came back from Las Vegas

Somebody gave me while I was there a rock of cocaine. I'm not even joking I've never tried cocaine as big as this little thing's head. Yeah, it was a full rock I was like, he's like you want some coke? I was like, yeah, I do And I was like, all right, I'm going to the bathroom any hands me literally this thing was like It was about two-thirds the size of a baseball. So I'm like, it was a it was a rock I could I've never I've only seen dust. I didn't know I go in the bathroom and I'm like trying to rub it against my face And uh, that can't be oh, dude. I can't be the way you do it. I couldn't even eat at the buffet the next morning I couldn't get my face open

But that day I had to fly home to LA right just rubbing a rock on your face Yeah, dude, I had a whole way home and I even dropped it on the bathroom floor on accident And it didn't break dude. Wow. So it was definitely I think it was cut with quick creed. Did you ever? Hold on. I gotta finish. So I get to the audition. I am so jacked out of my brain for doing cocaine for a few days I go in there and I tell the lady, right? Yeah, this character would be a lot better if the character had this cocaine problem She's like, oh really? It had nothing to do with the script. Are you high on cocaine at that moment?

Uh, I was still heavily under the influence I remember having all like these little sores on my tongue that happened from like, uh, oh my god Just like the cocaine sounds will get on your tongue and then it kind of burns it Geez And I was like, you know what would be great It was like a it was like this new age snow white that they were doing. I was like is if the guy snow Yeah, I knew it. This was a disney Is that a cocaine coke head we get on the disney show how where they play all day?

Yeah, I've never tried cocaine. This goes back to like free will because the first time I saw people do cocaine They were so annoying to me that I just didn't do it. Well, you'll eat your neighbor's ass, dude But you won't want to talk to him. Yeah, they were like everyone's like, but they're everyone's like waiting to talk next But but my car my car Yeah, and it's horrible. You have to five and then you you'll fucking get it Dude, you will swap email addresses with a dolphin when you're on cocaine, dude Everybody likes comes up with big ideas and then nobody can even wake up for three days It's a nightmare. I am so glad I am not on cocaine today. I need so I'm glad

Praise god A lot of beards in the questions. Yeah, do we answer that guy's question? Thank you. What was his question? The Censorship one. Yeah, are you do you worry about I guess you do if you say I do I mean, I feel like my buy my latest videos on youtube are repressed a little bit on instagram too The first prince of dc Yeah, it's just it's not matching up the numbers and the the other percentages. It seems seems like Very something's very suspicious about the uh and the amount of giant accounts that have commented or interacted

That should like make it really pop. Yeah, and plus friends that I that always You know like think even if we don't watch my thing. They just like it They just like whatever like friends of mine. They just never saw it. They just never saw it. Yeah, so it's like I don't know Well, I know trump. I think has a lawsuit right he's trying to get against these organizations Maybe that'll be one awesome thing that comes out of trump, man Is if he because it's it is it is not It's weird when

Something else has control it's control if the one thing that's good about youtube that people like and and um Make comments and like share it that does help the youtube. I've noticed. Yeah, doesn't help the instagram But youtube it does a little bit Big tech Big tech Okay Three terrific It's a terrific

today in conjunction with the america first policy institute i'm filing As the lead class representative Where is he those things at the white house action lawsuit against i've built another white house the big tech giant That's smart. He keeps it looking like he's still there. It is true, huh? As well as that seal. He's got mark zuckerberg sundar

Sundar Nice guy Trump will be enough of a hitman to get this done though. Chu Yeah, I mean he's uh the leader of uh I think trump was just too much. Here's the crazy things about trump, man I heard so before I would hear so many stories about how trump would get something built somewhere and then like have And then never pay the people. Yeah. Yeah, you would hear just so many like It's just dirty business. I feel like he was just a dirty businessman. I think he had some good intentions

I don't think he was the guy to be able to pull them off he uh I think if he almost did Did just didn't talk the whole time he'd sleep president. He just sat and this was like I think people you know the whole all the movement of people and where they already talked about Which is really powerful and just used cnn like every day. They just talked about that guy And they don't want to do now so much money. They don't know what they don't know now They just like could bring tuban back to yell at him more. They don't know who the enemy there's so woke too

That they can't even really talk about anything. Yeah, you know Yeah, I got rid of my cable I remember my tv stuff. I did and then I got I think I'm gonna get it back. Well, yeah It's nice for sports. Yeah. I'm one of the fights this weekend We got to get our thing going our new fight now a comedy fight network. Yeah the comedy fight network I would love to see one other matchup. I think on there on the bill. Yeah, we have we have aliza versus Um, craig Fitzsimmons. Yeah, I guess they have to agree this too. We have some hurdles to overcome. Yeah We got I actually think I don't think craig's right for aliza. I think there's a better someone like they have a beef

It's just someone she doesn't like would be nice. Okay. So anyone? Yes. So anyone great She got she got we got into a mask thing a couple of weeks ago. It was just all right. I was like She like it was just she does comedy correctly. Do you remember that? She's got she's got it down Like the bells and whistles of how to do it and get a reaction. She really is a very good technical comedic performer She knows the list in the lists at the end for a standing ovation No, I don't ever look at that. Oh, yeah, you get like a If you get if you want a standing ovation, I just get a show you just get them. Yeah

Well for the ever Wayne, which I mean, I'm That's not right to say but I mean I put in the work. I think I just get them There's definitely ways you know, he's just tell me George Wallace. What is the list? You know what it is? No, it's just like it's a list joke where it's like it doesn't give me any joke So he goes I went to the Starbucks all the mocha topo chino jar topo frappuccino What's about you like the long list and then they give you a nice applause. I do notice that she does She does very good technical stuff like that. She knows what she's doing. She has some new. Yeah Some new like it's like not anti-crush but she's like your anglos. Yeah, she right and then it's a list. Yeah

So then it's like people are clapped like clapping She could write a book on I don't think we could write a book on comedy. I think she could write a book on comedy to make people uh I think she has like she's just thought it out dissected it I don't know. Are you writing a comedy book? Sorry. No. No, I'm not. I just don't know about that um Yeah, what else can we talk about dude? I'm trying to think of something really interesting. Here's how about a humiliating story

I was like that until all right. We'll tell people like to hear uh humiliating stories Actually, because then they feel better about their life Yeah, I got plenty. Here's a guy. It's Darren Till. Yo, yo Yo, hopefully the interview is going pretty good. If not you guys can answer this another beard What do you guys like to do outside of comedy? In your free time, what do you guys like to do for fun? Love to hear it Hope you guys are doing awesome

All right I like this guy. I can hang out with this guy. He's He's high as fuck. One eye is very high. I think he has a shallow Gape on that eye. I don't think he's fully eyed out. It's very red. He's got great teeth. The guy who flosses You know, oh, there's a good. Oh, yeah He's In a tub. He's got a good fan going his family's deceased in the next room, but He's doing well. He just he just murdered his entire family

He's taking a bath. This is his second bath. The first bath got the blood off. Now. This is a relaxed bath to think about the murders Yeah, he just might put some roof is the soul in a few minutes But he can't decide if it's too up tempo for the for the time. He did just buy some fans from uh From home target or they're playing the other that are blowing the other room and he bought the he said Do you have any loud fans I could buy and I said right here, sir And they're helping uh after the blood cleanup Yeah, nice marble backdrop. He's doing well. He's just doing well. What was his question? Unless he bought a piece of marble Oh, what do we do behind the tub? Just yeah, like the rest of the room is just a cracked end with the corners nice

What are you my spare time? Yeah, what are you doing? I write music people don't know that I write classical music. Yeah You do not I'm getting a piano right now. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, do you I might get a young chang? Have you ever seen this? Oh, yeah Wait, is that what I have? I'm looking at young I rented mine. I've rented mine. I think it might be a young chang I'm trying to picture of it. Yamaha young chang pearl river Uh, what are some other ones? I'm looking at I love I think my new young chang. That's cool. Do you play piano? I mean, I used to play not well, but I used to play. Yeah

I uh young chang Yeah, that's my big hobby. I do. Um, that's you right there That's me. Yeah, wait, there's more and that's you playing classical music. No, my classical music is not I never put it out I just like, you know, I give my mom a song I'd have money for gifts. I wrote us things like that But um, I think I might do put an album out, but I don't think like who'd want to hear that Of classical music. Yeah, I don't think uh, there's a big audience for that I don't think there'll be a huge audience, but big fans of yours would like to I would have it

I think especially even if it's not even that great Just like piano songs in the background when you're doing dishes or something I would love that that guy in the tub would actually be nice. My songs were playing my little piano songs relaxing tub People do relaxing tub music. I'll be in a tub in the album cover. I miss album covers, but me too relaxing tub music is good Yeah, cow done against relaxing. What do you do for your free time? What is your spare time? I don't know man. Probably worry about stuff. Oh, that's right. That's my number one hobby Actually, man, and I don't even realize it. Sometimes I'm like, oh

Sometimes I'll catch myself doing it. What do you worry? You seem not worried about anything. Yeah, I'm getting less worried Me too. A good thing about age is you do get less worried. That's one of the energy for it But I'll do I like to go do yoga. I like to go to the I like to do a little bit of fitness God, you don't seem worried. Really if I were if you were to ask me, who's the one person's least worried that I know I would have said you wow Yeah, thanks a lot That's good to hear man. I feel like I'm slowly getting less worried. It's like things come to you. You're you're doing great You you you tweet the n-word. It seems like a guy doesn't really care

That's true. I will say this I do start to feel a little bit more like just willing to say what I want to say recently I'm kind of tired of being hammered up like I'm doing like a Netflix special in a couple weeks That's one of the things that's kept me like scared. I think a lot of times of trying to be just say whatever I want Yeah, and trying to write this animated thing for Netflix. I just worry that these corporations are gonna have control over what you can do You can you're off the grid. I think you you're you'll be okay financially even if you don't have any Netflix things Yeah, that's true. You kind of want it though But Netflix something you kind of want that exposure sometimes. Yeah, but I don't even know if you need it that much anymore Yeah, I don't have it at all. They're not interested. They've not called me

Well, look any year they'll call and you won't even want them, dude That would be the greatest thing if my first Netflix special did nothing for me, man. Oh really? Absolutely like I remember I told this story, but I went to chat nuga to this show It was this thick girl And I ended up probably hooking up with her. I don't remember dude, but thank god. She was there. You don't remember to console me I'll probably you think you think maybe you did, but you're not sure I mean, I probably could who knows who knows what happened. I did But this is what happened. I one time I'm not I don't jump to story, but I hope this girl

I was so drunk. I knew she was big in my head But I I sobered up the moment I looked in the mirror We're in a bathroom and I looked and I saw my hands were on her pockets and I saw how far apart my hands were Wow, they were like three feet apart. It's kind of sexy. Yeah, it was nice. Anyway, go ahead God, it's kind of so you you know what the big the thing is about kind of thick women sometimes it scares me I think it's like I'm not good. They're not gonna get a I'm not gonna be able to do this Okay, it's not a like their body type. I don't like yeah, you're right. Yeah fear of inability I also feel like are they attracted to me. I'm so tiny right

Yeah, I'm just a little jiblet to them. Yeah, like they must be like, oh, how am I gonna hold on to this? How do I hug a pencil? You know, yeah, you would feel them kind of rassly around and they've got control Yeah, I can't be sexy for them. Yeah, like hey, why don't you adjust my c-spine while you're While we're in this embrace. So what happened with this girl? Um, I don't remember what happened. What were we talking about? You said you're chatting nuga? Oh, yeah, so I went to the show. I had a Netflix special came out. This is my first weekend. I get there Nobody no way and the special just came out. Yeah, like 20 tickets. Wait, did you have time? What about the show after that? I mean, did you have time for them to it did nothing? It did nothing

It was heartbreaking damn Yeah, I kind of want to do one just so I could say I had one because I feel like there's some kind of like doing Letterman or something that's something. No, it's like doing But yeah, ultimately it'd be great not to need Someone else Martin Ormans blew up on youtube his special. Yeah, he did a smart thing. He just put it on youtube and it really helped him out Yeah, I I do think that that's the move. I think after this. I mean if this one goes through and we get it out there

But I always worry about like man if I say if I do if I do one thing is it going to cost me my special, you know Even with marks millions of views now. He's doing he's only doing the half hour Uh, not only right still good accomplishment, but he's on like the comics thing where they give like 10 people a half hour He just that just announced he has a half hour on netflix coming. Oh, okay. He probably got that maybe before Oh, maybe I don't know how long it takes for them to process. You'd know That's a good question because if he after this if they could get a full one after But how was your sales are taking getting better? Yeah, my I canceled my last tour of the covet but um, the sales are pretty good

But I don't do you know huge theaters. I do like small 300 seater. That's great though I mean, it's some markets. You go to club. I would go to clubs anyway. It's like it's still it's awesome I have trouble but also satisfying that that that thing like some people will yell katelyn or something Whatever, I'll come out as craig sometimes and it's just like I'm jumping around and I want them to enjoy the whole show and it's like You know, it's just a tough thing, but they enjoy you I think that's one thing that I don't even recognize at this point like I didn't really realize it till I sat in the audience I watched brennan shaw perform one night, right? Yeah, and I watched him I sat that he was performing in national so I went and

And I sat in the crowd and people people that are fans They just want to be there with you like for me I'm always so high in my head about the material and my get is going to be okay for him and But they just want to be in the room with you It's almost like they're saying it almost felt like the fact because this is the vibe I got from the fans around me who are watching him That they were just happy. They just want to be in the room and having a good time with you. Here's where you're wrong Okay, you're right about you and brennan

For me, I don't really exist to most of the people who are who follow me and watch my stuff it's like katelyn or biden or craig it's like someone else like i'm I'm actually just starting to put myself. I'm going to start putting more videos of myself out because I think that is the way to make more people happy is to Have myself involved as like a real person because they're like I'm living and dying off. Is this funny? Is this thing funny? It's and I've always done that with a stand-up always felt like I was living and dying

it's like You're a personality that people really enjoy and I don't really have myself out there as a personality. I have like my My comedy bits my you know impressions or whatever. So it's not a hang for them to be with me. I don't think You know, I don't know. I think you're creative and so unique enough that for me I it would be like I want to just know more about who this person is and so I think it's almost novel in the way that That's where they can get to know more like who's behind this thing that I love It's so powerful. Like also thompson grows like that too. It's like

You guys are their friend. I mean they want to come and like have a party with you guys It's very powerful and great and I um I I I'm jealous of that. I'd like to get some of that. Did you ever do a pod or no? I did years ago, but I also was kind of like side-kicky. I didn't I didn't I wasn't the driver of it. Yeah, I would just kind of jump in with with stuff Um, but that did actually help my sense to people this day. I would say Yeah, 10% of people come to my shows are from that podcast So it is more powerful to podcast in terms of getting people to your shows and it's interesting

And I find the most people more people that come up to me and say hey a lot of times They're people that I would like to know anyway So it's like you kind of relate to people that you would probably get along with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's that's like you don't really get fans you almost get like If you had unlimited amount of time people you would be friends with yeah It was kind of interesting and you get to talk the whole time, which is great in the relationship Yeah, that's kind of nice. That's kind of it's a little bit hectic too. What news we got we got any news? Yeah, let's see

The Tyson fury fight was postponed because he texted tested positive for covid and so did this camp Oh, damn. Oh, one other thing one last thing about what we're just talking about. Yeah, which I'm jealous of is Is creating content like we've talked for an hour and a half or something Like we can chat and have fun and just talk and there's content that goes out and you can monetize it What I make like to make a minute of what I make Like I can't crank this I'm gonna try but cranking like seven minutes out a week is You know, there's a whole tv shows doing trying to do that. Yeah all with all the staff and everything

that's really hard so Doing a podcast and I need to do a podcast and and so I can Because I think things need to come out every week I that's been my I think slowing me down as I will take a month break and uh We can't burn yourself out also. It's a lot of work that you do especially if you're doing the editing This biden thing no joke took me about 300 hours took me six weeks to do 20 minutes of this thing. It's so good Yeah, you're making like a I wonder but the good thing is it sounds like if now if you got some ad revenue starts to come in

Maybe you can hire somebody could you think you could hire somebody to do the edit or is it that close to you? It's funny. I've had a couple people edit, but it's like, you know with comedy timing is a lot He has to be a really good timing because then you have to go back and adjust little things But I need to loosen the reins a little bit and let someone else I'm just doing everything about us and I was on on ig clips and different things I'm like, oh, what about you know, because you know the timing you know what it is Yeah, you want it to be what you imagine and then like I'm doing the lighting and there's no director So then I'll do a whole I'll shoot for like a half hour then realize like my ear was out of the hat wrong

I have to go redo it. There's no one you know on a set. There's so many people you're like telling you Why is all these people here? They all need to be there. Yeah It's anyway, I've discovered that It is pretty fascinating You do realize like you're doing it at a lower budget thing or at like a lower level that you realize what everybody's for The the the amount of time I I I have to like deal with wigs. It's like disturbing. That's beautiful It is beautiful. It is kind of beautiful Um, here we go. What we got here. That's just him talking about corn pop. Oh, yeah, it's corn pop

He's a bad dude Come on, man I learned that uh It makes a difference. This was the diving board area and I was one of the guards And there weren't a lot of it was a three meter board and you fell off sideways you landed on the dams the darn cement over there And corn pop was a bad dude And he ran a bunch of bad boys

And I did you and back in those days to show how things have changed One of the things you had to use if you use palmade in your hair you had to wear a bathing cap And so he was up on the board wouldn't listen to me. I said, hey Esther you Off the board or I'll come up and drag you off. He didn't say he came off And he said I'll meet you outside my car. This was mostly these were all public housing behind it My car. There was a gate out here. I parked my car outside the gate And I he said I'll be waiting for you. He's waiting for three guys and straight razors Not a joke. There's a guy named bill right mouse the only white guy and he did all the pools

He was the mechanic and I said, what am I going to do? He said come down here in the basement Where mechanics where where all the pool Builder is you know the chain there used to be a chain that went across the deep end And he cut off a six foot left of chain. He pulled up. He said you walk out with that chain And you walk to the car and say you may cut me man, but I'm going to wrap this chain around your head I said you're kidding me. He said no if you don't don't come back and he was right So I walked out with the chain And I walked up to my car

And they had step nose days. You remember the street You know Get them rusty put them in the rain boring them get them rusty And I looked at him, but I was smart. He's a forced to stand there I said when I tell you get off the board you get off the board I'll kick you out again, but I shouldn't have called you ester williams. I apologize for that I apologize. There's a corn pop. He's gonna work. He said you apologize to me I said I apologize for that not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said

He said, okay, close the straight razor. My heart began to beat again That's a laughs long story though. She was a uh female swimmer in like the 50s That's our president And that's what they're doing well. Not the not this on it Yeah, here's a bad dude, man. Here's a bad dude, man Corn pop Hey corn pop. I got a chain wrapped around my face. Yeah, not not in my face Corn pop. Oh my favorite my thumb. Where am I?

You feel this whole team is probably just like Their butthole's just clenching as that story went on. How long is it gonna? I mean is he's deteriorating I don't think he's gonna do a second term A second term? I don't see how we should do another year. I don't I don't really like, you know I grew up with a seat with a senior citizen father. I just it goes pretty quick. I feel like it's going right Yeah, I do too. I feel like it's it's not a joke. Is it I mean, I remember when Reagan towards the end They were they hit it like we won't be told about it Reagan was someone's talking about he was in the plane. He's like

They look like the lens down there He was having to deal with some major issue with Iran or something. Oh, and he just was talking about ants Nancy Reagan, this was like right after he was just got out of office He came home and he would go to a different office just to be in an office and come home He came on his hand was all wet And she said what's in your hand and he opened up It was from the fish tank It was a white house a mini white house for the fish to swim around next to and he said

This has something to do with me And there's a fish now was the white house in his hand. Oh a little one a little white house from like the fish tank And this is like get out of the bottom. He took it out of the fish tank. It was like this has something to do with it He was like just at office. Oh, wow scary. Anyway, almost like everything's fine Yeah, like deadliest catch kind of exactly like that. Wow Um, would that guy want to know? Oh, that was Joe Biden. Sorry I don't know what was his question though. That was a question. We actually didn't play a question

Another beer one more. I know Are your fans mostly bearded? I you know what? I did notice the most blue eyed fans that ever seen were in Ohio interesting You have a little facial hair. I wonder if they're copying it. They're like part of your team. That's like the sign No, I cannot do that. I actually have a choke. That's an amazing Really thick beard he has this man is beautiful. I would I can put that on the top. I worry about the top because of the durag I worry that there's you know, yeah, I think he this guy is a lot. He's got that joey fatone gene Fatone vibes

I got a question for mr. Cowden again. I got all those curious What's the what's with the voice is that just a natural born talent that you can match your voice to them all them people's voices When you're doing impersonations, or is that something that you learn? You can change your voice like you have the voice of a chameleon Something like that. Anyway, there you go. Theo gang gang me and my brother tilt and come to see you Here in old Richmond. Oh look tilt and coming on beautiful. Have a good time. Bring us the last out gang daddy. Thank you Yeah, do you think you created the voices because did you do it when you were little? What did you do? Yeah, yeah, I do like uh, you know my teacher and stuff like that. Yeah Uh, would you do it at recess and stuff? Yeah, I remember I did a talent show

I did some of the voices of the teacher one time. I got born in high school. They had a talent show and uh Someone was like my friends like you should just stand up there's another example of someone just telling me what to do I did it. I look back and I like I know and I still struggle I had no impetus to be like I want to do this. I was just told you should just stand up 20 minutes before the show started. You know, you can't do that. Yeah So anyway, I I just did like impressions of the teacher, but I got suspended And dragged off the stage was my first stand-up show

Because I did do like some stand-up about it wasn't even that dirty, but the guy before me got suspended So there was suspend happy. Uh, I said like Something about a cock or something about like, you know kids talk about And then the cock he said yeah cock or something about dicks And the host this girl my age came up and she whispered in the middle of the show. She goes You can't say that miss all that's gonna suspend you It stopped the whole show dead And then I was like like I'm not allowed to say penis anymore

And I started saying other thing and then they should drag me off. Anyway, what was my point? um, yeah, I did uh, I um Yeah, I think um I think part of it's like I have a long neck I can I can move my vocal cords really far and stretch them. It's I think part of it And then the other part is um like musically. I think if you have a good ear with like tones You can kind of match people like that. Yeah, and uh, yeah, that makes sense, man If you can do the piano, I would then you can play yourself

I was also a very disappearing kind of child like I like craig that character. I've been doing that since I was probably seven years old. I have pictures of me doing that because It was when my mother would listen to these other characters We're gonna deep podcast, but like she would listen And she wouldn't listen to me, but when I was someone else she would listen. So I ended up I think that pushed me. Can we talk about free will? I think that also pushed me a little bit into Oh, I could totally see that like creating finding some way to be heard and did not be yourself to be some Yeah, yeah, I think I got attention

For like kids. You have to Michael Jackson. That was a big one when I was younger I love this girl who loved Michael Jackson She had Michael Jackson written on her shoes and I would do Michael Jackson first with my way to talk to her Really? That's that that's I just realized that that was probably huge for me to like dealing impressions You would just go up to her and do it Or whatever, you know One day I saw she scraped she's Shut up moan. She scraped Michael Jackson off her shoe and I was devastated. Like I felt like it was me. She was scraping away

I remember the first time I would touch the boo went to the movies, right? And this girl was jacked. My first girlfriend was a f***ing Muscular second base on the baseball team. I think really Jack and that makes the boobs look smaller when she's got big shoulders, right? Oh, there's a tight boob, dude. It could have been a guy more. I think it could have been a guy named Susanna She's beautiful girl to be a beautiful lady, but uh At the time she just had these hard f***ing rippings And that was your first experience with boobs. Yeah, do you like them like that because it was your first? Sometimes that looks up here now. I remember one time I met this lady in

And uh, North Carolina and she had breasts where they were like malleable like you could shape them into like a and they would stay there Yeah, and it would stay no way. That's something wrong with that. It blew my mind And it was so scary being at her place because I felt like I was on drugs Some I think I've probably been drinking or maybe had a little bit of weed. That might have been a breast implant. That was bad It could have been a bad. Yeah. That's definitely what it was. I think. Yeah, that's not a bad You know some heavy Play-Doh in there, but it was uh Yeah, I remember you could shape it and it would stay that way. Yeah, you go to Mexico and get some weird stuff put in

Yeah, you can get this lava lamp tits where they kind of move up and down. Yeah. Yeah It's crazy glow Um, but anyway, what was that question? It wasn't one. Oh, so I remember going to the movie Yeah, feeling in we're brawl and just fucking you just leaned over and slid it in. We're making out at the movies, man Oh, I just got a flash of something. Yeah We're making out at the movies Yeah, and I just she had a button-up. She wore a lot of button-ups. Okay, kind of you need for a young woman But a lot of but professional. Yeah, bro. Yeah, she was a bro

So you leaned and you unbuttoned you just slide in in between and she let you and I tried to go up the bottom But the button the buttons were in pants the texture Uh, cut my the the tautness from where the buttons in the shirt cut my ability to reach up So then I had to go in through there. You must be like, look at this guy's trying to sneak in They have so much time to just judge us Oh, yeah, we're making out hot and heavy dude. Yeah God, we're fucking this your first boob Oh

This is your first boob. Oh And you reached in strong. Well, actually the first breaths ever touched, but it was more child We were more real real child real children This girl that had an electric fence girl. Let me feel our kid through it Do the electric fence? Yeah. Oh wow, that's gotta You might be in a kinky shit. That's your first experience. It was scary, man It was hard and it was risky and I think it always made me really nervous after that because it was like Boy, that's linked up with sexuality and risk

Because you could barely like I had to like barely kind of get my fingers over and then she had her boob out Or just was over shirt. She had like a little sundress kind of on So it was over. Oh, oh nine. Okay. That's so young. So it wasn't a tit yet. I mean, it was it was a you know You still liked it I remember seeing down a girl's shirt when I was like seven. She was like six and I thought I was hot somehow at that age I don't know how I was like I was seeing something. I wasn't supposed to. Oh, yeah, but there was nothing there I was I used to watch the movies like with friends. I had like pretty hot friends in high school It's girl. Leslie Gerard put up my arm around her. Yeah, I wasn't dating her. I never had a

Guts to like make a move or anything But I'm armor watching a movie and I remember like pushing down on her top boob here and that was so hot to me Imagine that being like because it was still boo. Yeah, it was like it's like far away from the nipple But it was like it was mushy still counts. Oh man. It's so God, it's so disturbing to be a guy Somebody needs to answer that clown phone This thing is ringing off. It's available. Yeah. I wish I still had that. Um, man Well, we learned a lot to whatever you do call you just have to keep going man. We just need you in the world

Thank you too. It's so entertaining to watch, bro I love it. I really do feel like I'm doing what I like to do. It's awesome. Only thing is I'm exhausted, but I'm happy. That's fine I don't have a social life at all. I don't really don't mad a girl come this past weekend Disaster where'd she come from England? What she she lives here, but she came back early She was working in England like her thing got postponed to the cold it but she flew in It was really didn't it was what was it a disaster? It was so much drama, dude. I I was really like my best self. You know, I wasn't even me. I was like this

Prince who whole door opens gets you what you want and I told her before she came I was like, I have to work. I have this thing. I'm making. I don't need to feel ignored I learned that like supposed to be like you didn't tell me right like don't come if you're gonna feel ignored I've got to work. She's like, oh, I've got plenty to do. So the first few days I took off which I couldn't even afford But I really did like her and it was going well and then the third day right when I started working. It was like I mean, she was crying on the couch. She was like She was in the dark at one point just like sitting in the dark and I'm like Japanese I see why you asked that but no, yeah, but I would like be rushing to work because I just

It's a four in the morning. She knows getting like an hour's sleep and still she couldn't some people Can't not have attention. It really is disturbing and I do like the free will that don't think she could help it It was just very uncomfortable for her for me to work We're such creatures of discomfort It's a lot of life is balancing your discomfort really. Yeah or hiding it. Yeah, you're going pleasure pain You're going like how much pleasure is committed to how much pain and then you'd make your subconscious makes a decision That's going back to free. Well, and then you think you thought it and you didn't see that's the part I don't know because I think there's some free willies out there man. It feels like it

But no, that's just the trick. That's the trick Leslie glade A nicky glazier was in here talking about that And oh, yeah, she's up Sam Harris. Yeah, she loves it. And so I got I'll investigate and see if I can get some feedback for you I would like to hear your thoughts on it because I also don't want to I don't want to believe it I don't want to believe it disturbed by it. Yeah, I had to put the book down like Yeah, they did like scientific experiments where they know which Arm the person which hand they're going to raise before the person knows it Uh-oh

And what is that poor pledge of allegiance? Not just experiment Oh Yeah, I don't know. I would always I I usually get the wrong one and then I do the right one Yeah, and then they also found people make up why they decided it And the experimenters know it's it's pretty freaky freaky stuff going on guys and it's a you are a robot You can audio book. You can you know download it. It's not long Why do you put that? I don't know. There's some things. It's like, why do we allow them to exist? It's like

Like it's no fun. You're right. It's no fun right and having no heaven is I hate not having a heaven Although I'll tell you one thing not having a heaven. It does make you wake up here. Like if this is it It's almost a crime to not realize this is it. I gotta get busy. Yeah, you know We've done DMT. Have you tried DMT yet? No, I'm scared. I want them too scared if you try it Then you see what happens when you die. So I I'm terrified. You'll be fine Yeah, you might not I feel like I'm mentally not You might ready. Yeah, you might want to stay where you are. You're doing go where you are You might we need you in this realm

Kyle Dunnigan, uh, ladies and gentlemen, you can check out craig's news live. You can check out, uh, the fresh prince of dc YouTube's a place to go. I'm done with instagrams. No money and you can you can find theo here and a bunch of places You can find me here his website Do some other podcast man. I would love to do more. Yeah, this has been a great chat And also our I think our fight idea is not something that should die here. This should be something we talk about Yeah, maybe in the comments, you guys could put other bouts that might be good Who would you like to see? I would love to see bobby lita says doesn't have the physical acumen anymore He wouldn't do it and his body's fading fast. I remember we can't have someone drop dead. That's been the worst thing

Yeah, they don't have to be with comedians. Maybe we just start like our own fight club That's like funnier or it's more like because these things are no fun You know, they see lamar odham and what's his name fight that kid? nick carter area harder We could probably just contact these people and be like here's a hundred thousand dollars You know these fans want to see it. That's a lot of money It's a lot of money for like someone like who was unsaved by the bell or something and want some money like elizabeth

Dustin diamond, but but elizabeth's still alive But yeah, they said Aaron carter and lamar odham. Just I mean, this was insane, bro Wait, who Aaron carters nuts. Who's wait a minute the Reach is insane. Oh, he's six feet. He's not that short, but jesus has an 11 inch reach advantage I worry about lamar's heart to be honest When did this happen? How am I miss this? Chuck like that. Lamar does have coke. What it was like two weeks ago. No one knew it's no me one knew somehow How many views does have?

Let's see this Look at this little twerp. He's six feet Oh my god, he's throwing bombs Oh, it's one little flick That did nothing to lamar though, huh? I don't know. Lamar is that fucking coke heart, dude. I bet it did Now he's done now it's already getting real now. It's over. This is a hate crime. He's six feet tall That's a hate crime. He's seven. Who's six feet Aaron? That's what it says. It's like he's he's six feet It's five feet tall there

Now he's just on the run. Oh my god. He's got an answer to that Look at what is Lamar. He's got the low pants even with on the fight. So you got the uh Who's hand who's hotter you think out of these two guys? No homo lamar or Aaron that's tough, huh? It depends what they're doing to me. Am I am I doing something to them or am I receiving? Both you guys you're not even around them. It's just yeah, this isn't a date, dude It's just like you see them somewhere or just they're both that they're swimming I mean you're talking about either headgear is blocking their face, but I would Body wise

No, just I'm not talking about them overall Who's hotter out of these two, man? Who's hotter? I don't care who is Wait a minute. Is there more fighting? I hope that it that was it They ended early. I thought Lamar's hotter I mean he just he destroyed him. There you go But we could have something like that We host it

What I always did we host it you and I got to host the fight Um, they were big they were a big headgear. I think it's still funny, but then we'll get hurt And it's still funny to say who would we get to fight? We can have the the fans We can just ask what they want to say because there's a lot of people that like be celebrities Or you don't see anymore, but you know someone who's on full house or something that they need money right now We give them money they go in the ring We get 90% just kidding and then kimmy gibbler versus like Elton John's son

Yes, magic johnson's son. I think the audience will come up with a really creative people. Send new videos to tpw with your suggestions Yeah, because if they come up with Because we could call this person up or dm them be like look you want a hundred grand Right, but how do we make the money so we can pay them? We do the we do a live show We get we rent out a little area for the ring. We rent a ring. It'd be easy to do. It'd be easy But say then how do people buy it? They buy it on pay-per-view. So we advertise we could do one of those live shows Things like they do we advertise. Okay, so let's say for example. We sell 10,000 tickets right to the live boxing 50,000. Yeah, okay

If you think we are two audiences, okay, so we sell 25,000 tickets. I just want to be safe Yeah, okay ten dollars a pop Okay, I think you can probably you're probably more you can get probably 15 fuel fighting their fame that they're They're their beloved characters from tv. You're gonna make 300 grand then So you're gonna have to pay 100 grand for to the fighters So that's 50 each for the two fighters. You can make 200 you're gonna owe probably 10 percent to the You can probably have 10 in charges in like venue and insurance. So then you're down to 120 and then we got to pay 12 musical acts

That's true. We're gonna have to get a musical act to perform too. I can get one so cheap That's amazing, but also now look at this. We need more fights. That's only one fight We need three fights. Well the undercars are gonna get it's gonna be for fun They're gonna get a few couple of grand and maybe the the the the they get 30 grand each I don't think you even need to pay them that Look, it's fun. They'll have a head gear on it's fine. I would do it Dude, it's anyone cared. I jump in the ring on local on local fights the undercard fighters Usually they get like a 200 dollars, but then they get what about down and outs

Someone who's like needs fucking money who he was talking about somebody in a coma No, someone who's just like their wife took all their shit some story. We build this guy needs a this guy needs five grand And then we show the clip of him like fuck my wife that fucking bitch that bitch And then maybe it's the guy which he's done his wife with him. We develop a nice little story. He's like, hey, I'm Randall Yeah, I fucked his wife. I don't care. I'll beat him his ass too. I've been fucking around. I've been hitting her I could edit that package Dude, that's okay. Now you're talking we build up some real story. We could put those videos on our Whatever his little clips get excited. You know, yeah, yeah, I hammered his wife and I'm gonna hammer him. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Colin Theos boxing down and out Down and out boxing blowout. I think there's a prize. I don't know There's some nudity Yeah, we need nude card girls and men and men is nude men and women card girls in boys They just come out with a dick. So we get children No, we do it in our international Island and it's and it's nude children Yeah

This is why we workshop now. Yeah. Yeah, we got it. We got more to talk about but something like okay Okay, we're on to a good idea guys. You can find a find Kyle Dunn and we'll put his links to his youtube channel Actually, we'll put it at the first link is the first link to this video is to Kyle's youtube channel Please go and subscribe to it. So you can see him. Yeah, please like let's get that algorithm. Let's let's get algorithm Yeah You want to have sex again? All right I can't do it. Yeah, dude, it's been fun being here. Good chatting with you. Yeah, man. We were done. We were done. We were done. A little time

For me to set that parking brake and let myself I sit and tell you Story And I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my Hey In these realms that I've been vyingar on their want something that they're down they've gone I guess now they just weren't built.