This Past Weekend - E349 Last Words

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

Theo talks about his experience in Vegas for the Dustin Poirier v. Conor McGregor fight, Riley Mau returns to discuss his love life and the recent attacks on Asian Americans and Theo thinks long and hard about what he'd like his last words to be.   New Merch: https://theovonstore.com​ New Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour Music: "The Come Up" - Eddie 9Vhttps://linktr.ee/Eddie9V Support our Sponsors: The Ladders: https://TheLadders.com/TheoBetterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/theo for 10% OFF your First MonthHeadspace: https://headspace.com/theo for a One-Month FREE TrialManscaped: https://manscaped.com/theo for 20% OFF and FREE Shipping  ShipStation: https://shipstation.com promo code THEO for 2 months FREE shippingGrey Block Pizza: https://www.greyblockpizza.comLiquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com   Podcastville mugs and digital prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to [e-mail]. Hit the Hotline [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://instagram.com/SeanDuganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ladders is the number one job search site for six-figured jobs and their apply for me service takes all the work of applying for jobs out of your hands. Simply upload your resume and answer one set of questions one time and the ladders team will fill out all the forms for you. Start using ladders new apply for me service today. Never fill out a job form again. Just go to the ladders ladders.com slash th e o. That's the ladders.com slash th e o. Check it out, man. Oh, well, I'm alive. That's the first thing I noticed about myself this morning when I got up. I'm still alive. You know, it's a sound like guarantee. Some people die in their sleep. I wonder how if I would like that.

Dying in my sleep. I almost the thing about dying in your sleep and people don't think about this. If you die in your sleep, you don't get any last words. You don't get that last serving of outspoken. You don't get to say anything. If you're stabbed or if you, you know, fall down some stairs or, you know, if you're stabbed, you can, oh, you know, why? Why are you stabbing me? Why are you stabbing me? You know, and then maybe some famous quote or something you get to do, you know, I could have been a contender. Give me liberty. Give me death, you know, from the window to the wall, you know, that is what

goes down my bones. I mean, you get to, at least if you're out in a bout or if you're, if you're not asleep, if you're not dying in your sleep, you get that last moment. You know, even if you're falling down some stairs, you're like, oh, dang, this is the last time I'm gonna be a five. What the fuck? But at least you get to, you get a final say. Because otherwise, if you just die in your sleep, you just get that epithet. And epithet is something people write it on your, on that gravestone, that death marker, you know, that funeral yard little placard or placard, I'm not sure. I think it is French origin. But then they, then somebody else guesses, you know, what they would, you would have said,

you know, or they'd give you a final little hoo-ha on there. So what do you think you'd do, Raleigh Mal, would you die in your sleep or would you, you want to go out in a living moment? I think I want to go out in a living moment. And what, would you have a final word or something when you get a, when you get one final jab in at the world of verbal jab? Yeah, I don't know. I would say, you know, something. Alrighty, we'll come back to you, bro. We'll come back to you with that. Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles. Gray Block, get that hitter, baby. Let's get into it. Come on, baby. This is 89 volts to come up. I'm gonna come up. Yeah. Feels real good. I've been so blue.

I'm gonna come up. It feels so good to have a brand new view. Well, I just broke up with my baby. No matter if I get to loving you. Well, I just moved up to Lucky Street when I made a game and said to me, you're on the comma. You're on the comma. Come on, baby. And it's plain to see between you and me. We got so much love and chemistry. It's on the comma. It's on the comma. Well, good things keep on coming. And there ain't gonna be no running. No, I'm on the comma. I'm on the comma. Well, I just got home and now I'm back. I got so many people asking where I'm at. I've been to Tennessee. I've been to Ohio. And there's that right there, baby. That'll get you. And if that don't get you, then you probably can't be got. If that don't get you, you probably can't

be got because music has that infectious ability. You know, there's, um, there's, there's very few things that can just get you immediately out of nowhere and make you behave differently. A dog bite can do it. A bee, a bumblebee, baby, they can do it really heavily if they choose, if they want to, if they're feeling like it. A dog bite, a bee, what else, um, lightning, which is really just God's bumblebee, baby. And music. Those are the things that can really get you just take you from nothing to something and an escalator. Those are about the five things that can really make me shift what's going on with you. I went to the fights. That's what I did this past weekend. I went out there to

Las Vegas and, uh, man, it was, it was a scorcher. The plane couldn't even land because at first, uh, the runway was 115 degree. And they said the runway, if it's higher than 114 or something, they can't land. So that took an extra 40 minutes, um, of delay time. And then you're sitting there and it's, uh, you know, it just, then you're having to kind of mingle and pee. There was two like just thoughts. I mean, I, I mean, just real girls that it looked like they just been the kind of girls that will just, they, they'll just look like they've been beaten up at even at Christmas. And they just, one of them were just so aggravating and just kept ordering drinks and the guy, the guy in the, uh, you know, the server or the flight attendant, sorry, I don't mean server,

but the flight attendant, the airman, he said, we can't have a drink. And the lady like ordered three times and just a nightmare. And I just wished that I was Italian enough to do that thing where when you're sitting behind somebody in Italian movies and on the person in the back seat will put a cord around the person in the front seat's neck and just lace them up like a shoe until they're not alive anymore. And, uh, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to do that. There was two girls, one of them deserved to live. I'm going to say it. I'll put it like that. The other one, we didn't need her. We didn't need her. Did we need her? Nope. We sure didn't. She said, I don't know. Jesus Christ. And who's emailing me now? Best Buy?

Bunch of assholes. What do they think I'm going to do? Hey, Best Buy, let me say this to you. Okay. Every night you want to email me around midnight, 1am. First of all, your stores aren't even open at that time. Have you thought about that? Second of all, what do you think I'm going to do? You think I'm going to get out of bed with my stuffed animal or with a girl, maybe, but you think I'm going to get out of bed to go look at one of your Xeroxers or look at one of your 71 inches? It's 1am. And you guys are beating me over the damn screen face with your, you know, we got toasters, we got mortal, you know, mortal warrior 60, you know, join the club, join the group. Don't you want this oven? Bitch, I'm asleep. I don't need an oven while I'm sleeping.

All right. I'm trying to get some rest. I'm not trying to get a deal. Best Buy. So you best believe me when I tell you to leave me the fuck alone and emails. But anyway, yeah, so I got out to the fights and what was going on? I mean, first of all, it was a packed event. You know, I get over there. And well, did you watch the fights? Roll him out. Did you watch the fights, brother? I did not. Oh, righty. What'd you do over the weekend, bub? I filmed the wedding. Oh, wow. And whose was it? Don't know. It was a Catholic wedding. Oh, okay. And now what's the time? Like, what's the time commitment? You're going to go film a wedding. What kind of time commitment is that? Pretty much all day. Okay. And do you have a

certain shot list you like to try to get? I do. Okay. And is there any kind of sneaky shots where you get something like, uh, is there any stuff you try to sneak in the back room or hide behind a window or something, get something a little perverse, not perverse, but you know what I'm saying? Something that's going to, you know, make them cover the baby's eyes. If they're watching the video back, it's going to make them cover the child's eyes if they're in there watching. I do not. Okay. So you guys really more of a PG outfit over there? Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Okay. And have you ever filmed a wedding where you didn't think that they should go through with it? Not that I could think of. Alrighty. Is it how's your own love life going, man? Last time we'd had

you here, you had a real, there was a woman who'd let you down from Memphis, I remember. Yep. Kendra, I think was her name. What was it? I don't even remember. It was, I got her out of my mind. Wow. Yeah. Isn't it funny how it'll happen? How one day it's the most important thing to you and then and then it's a old male, you know? Exactly. What's up with the wedding bells on your own front? Is there any new relationships in your life? Unfortunately not. Okay. Okay. Still looking. You still looking, huh? Yeah. Are you on the app? So you just letting the, you just living, right? You letting the Lord work? What's how you managing it? I'm just letting the Lord work. Amen, buddy. Amen.

And what about are you, do you, you know, I struggle over the years with a little bit of pornography. Do you struggle with it or you're good? I don't. I'm good. God, you're lucky, dear God, mother fuck. All right. Well, I'll tell you about the fights, man. Okay, you guys, if you didn't see the fight, I mean, it was, first of all, I get there. There's tons of, you know, Joe Rogan has done an amazing job over the years. He created this unique bridge where, um, where comedy and where comedians and fighters are, are allowed to co-mingle and, and there's a mutual kind of, I don't know if it's a, it's definitely a respect in the fighters direction, but there's a, like I got to go up to Max Holloway and say hello, you know, and he knew

who I was. I mean, that was like made my life, you know, um, you know, you're able to, in my DMs, I'm communicating with other fighters. I run into other fighters and there's just like, uh, Ricky Simone, um, you know, uh, Corey Sandhagen and I will communicate some like, uh, Tai Tuivasa, who was drinking beer out the boot up there on that cage after he gave Greg hardly that, I mean, he hit, I mean, he just hit him. He gave him that fat rattler baby, you know, he fucking hit him with that New Zealand brown snake baby. You feel me? He really shook him down with that fricking, that big coconut cane pole daddy. He, Tai really, he snuck him. He snuck him with that magic arm duck, you know, he bit him with that fricking, he bit him with that big, that elbow

quacker dog, you know, that dirty duck that left or that right. I don't remember which one it was, but, um, but there's just a way that like, and that's all because of Joe Rogan, you know, Joe Rogan did, does comedy. He's done, he does UFC. He's the voice of UFC. And so you're just, it's interesting. He's allowed to use, allowed to commingle with those people. And there's a level of, I don't know if it's, it's definitely respect with the, towards the fighters because, you know, they're fighters. So you, there's always a lot of respect towards fighters. But there's a, there's a level of respect that comes back from those guys towards the comedians and stuff. You know, I think it's interesting because, you know, we all put ourselves out there

in some way to get an energy or a vibe or something to get a, to be seen or heard, you know, fighters, they're fighting to get that, you know, they want to be, we're all trying to prove something. We're all trying to fill in a void or a necessity. There's these spaces inside of us that are missing a building block. And we're all trying to, out in the world, just chiseling different moments and different goals to get them to fill whatever that space is. And, and I noticed a lot, I noticed it between fighters, I noticed it between comedians, I noticed it between strippers, pornographists. But yeah, this need to, to, to be seen or noticed or complete.

But yeah, and Joe Rogan's really built that, but he, but he makes it okay kind of for comedians and fighters to interact because he's that Lego that's keeping that, both of those entities connected. Yeah, I went to the fights. I didn't know that Joe Rogan had left me two tickets. So I get there, I got one, I just brought myself, you know. So I get there, I got suddenly I got two tickets, but it's already into the undercard. So I texted a couple of people, I didn't know anyone that lived in Vegas. So I texted Glenn, Big Baby Davis, he was a guest on this past weekend. You know, he was in, he's a Louisiana guy. I figured I'm there to see Dustin, another Louisiana guy to be great. Glenn was, had just left town.

And so then I'm stuck. You know, and I thought about trying to text a hooker or something, but then what if they show up? They don't look like their picture. And then now you're sitting next to some lady that looks like Bert and Ernie. I don't know if you've ever done that, but some time you get an escort, they show up. They'll look like Bert and Ernie. You're like, dang, okay, this double puppet out here. I can't even, and nothing like the picture they had on the internet. That is a gong. That is a, I mean, they must have been hit by lightning and stung by bees or something because they will be a total different vibe or energy coming off that woman, beautiful ladies. And now look, and they're beautiful ladies. I'm just saying the last

minute, you also, you don't want to get a last minute hooker. That's not some things. There's escort. I shouldn't say hooker. Like it's, you know, it sounds a little, I guess, like they're not doing anything. I mean, hooker and, but I respect hookers and escorts. I respect anybody that's doing something like that. You ever consider anything like that? Raleigh Mal, you ever considered in, you know, using, you know, some men or something if they're, if they're not having luck with women, they'll get out there and get a lady of the night kind of. Has it ever crossed your mind or what? I know a few people that have, but not for me. Okay. And what do you think about, like, do you feel, do you look down on it or it's just not your thing? Do you feel like

it would be too nervous of an interaction? Uh, it's just, it's just not my thing. Yeah. And where, what type of places are you trying to meet ladies these days? You at the laundromat? Are you doing, are you indoors, outdoors? Where are you trying to meet these gals? Anywhere, anywhere. Never thought about a laundromat, but hey, can't go wrong. Well, I'll tell you what's good about a laundromat is that it's a place where women prefer to do laundry. And I'm not saying it's a sexist thing or a, you know, I just, and I'll be honest, they do it better. You know, I've seen a dude with some laundry and it's, it looks like somebody just kidnapped a bunch of clothes.

You know, when you see a guy with some laundry, it looks like it shouldn't really, it looks sad. I'm going to say that. But a woman, you see laundry, you see her, she's able, it's just, women are more delicate, clothes are delicate. So when you see the two together, it just has a more comfortable fit. I'm not saying women need to do laundry. I'm not saying that at all. Okay, I know a couple cushy vets, you know, a couple soft-handed vets, you won't even see them touch the pillowcase. And next thing, you know, it's all, you know, folded into a damn duck or into a damn raven, some own even, one of them could even fold it into a damn, you know, a Larry Bird. I mean, you know, the ability sometimes of these,

the small paws on a Vietnamese person to maneuver the cloth into perfect shapes and stuff is, uh, magnifique, as they say abroad, uh, magnifique. But, um, what are we talking about? What are we talking about? Raleigh, Mal, you remember? Um, can't at the moment. Alrighty, man, me neither, Bub. So I'm going to let you off the hook on that one. But, uh, damn, well, anyway, uh, went to the fights, Dustin won. I almost got to go in the ring when he won, which was, which would have been pretty cool. I mean, it's, you know, you're just there to support him. Uh, you know, it was also awesome to see Sean O'Malley.

Um, you know, he's just an entertaining guy. Uh, and you know, he's trying to, you know, add to his knockout resume. Chris Moutinho was the guy who fought him and the guy, that was one of the most exciting parts of the night was when that guy took, just kept taking the hits from, um, from Sean O'Malley because we all want to like keep going. We all want to take the hits and keep going. And we do, we do it on a day-to-day basis. So to see this, this little, I mean, he had the green hair color, this little, uh, jolly rancher. He looked like a My Little Pony kind of hopped up on jolly rancher candies, but to see him, and I don't even say that in a rude way. I love, you know, I was fascinated. It was the,

it was the high, it was one of the highlights of the evening. People were chanting Rocky at one point. Um, to see him just keep going, to see them call the fight at the end and not let him finish was a little rough, but, uh, but man, that was amazing because we all want to take the hits and keep going. And he did that. Uh, yeah, that was amazing, man. Um, what else, what else is happening? What else happened this weekend? We had some videos that came in, some submissions of things that were going on. Um, and I'll get into those in just a second. Uh, we'll find out a little bit more what's going on from, uh, Mr. Riley Mao and, and see what's happening out there in the, on the, uh, on the, in the hot, in the hot, uh, hot world and the low key Christian,

you know, young fellow Asian world. We'll get into that in just a second. I'm going to tell you this, wouldn't it be great if there were a pocket sized guide that could help you sleep, focus, act and be better? Well, there is. If you have 10 minutes headspace can change your life. Headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. So whatever the situation, headspace really can help you feel better. If you're overwhelmed, headspace has a three minute SOS meditation for you. God, I need that. You need help falling asleep. Headspace has wind down sessions. I've used headspace. I like it. It helps. It's available and it has the different options.

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And that's where I would suggest that you get them. Man, it's going to be exciting. What else? Oh, I'll tell you this. You need to know it that ship station is the one who can do it for you. You know, people sell things online. You ever sold something online? Riley, now I have. What'd you sell, buddy? Oh, man, I've sold iPads, phones, a lot of stuff. Okay. Electronics. Yep, you can sell all types of things. You can also sell your crafts online. You ever done a craft rally? I have. Well, you can sell them online. That's right. You could sell your crafts online at ship station. Yep, that's it. You can import orders from any sales channel ship with any carrier using ship stations, deeply discounted rates, automate just

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Riley, now there was a lot of, you know, since you've been in here, there's been a lot of a ledge attack on Asian in the world. Have you heard about this? I have. And were you seeing any of that on your doorstep? Were you seeing, you know, any, anything like that where people throwing torches through your windows or anything? What's going on? Give me your feed on it. Man, I didn't even know it was a thing until someone brought it up to me and I was like, oh, that's a thing. Do you see any reason why it's happening? Do you see, I can't decide. Here's the thing. Every day, probably 700 people get attacked, I would say in America, just generally based on the numbers of people

and the possibility of other people that want to attack someone. Would you agree? Maybe that. Yeah. So some of those people are going to be Asian just because there is Asian people that are alive. Right. Statistically, they're just so I can't tell if it's really a thing or if there's just of the 700 attacks, four of them are Asian. And so they make it, they just focus on them now, you know? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. What do you think about it? No, I mean, you're, you're absolutely right. I mean, there's just, you know, people are Asian. Yep. They're, they're alive. That's going to happen. Do you have any more insight? Are you hearing anything from your grandparents? Are you,

is anybody sending you a scroll or sending you something? You know, is there any, you know, any, are you getting any old school information? Is there, what's, what's, what's coming down the Asian pipeline that you're hearing? Are you guys, you know, getting armored up? What's, is there any intel you can give us? Yeah, man. No, I mean, as far as I am in my family, we're, we're clean. I've haven't heard anything. Okay. And have anybody been attacked your folks or anything? No. Okay. So it's not at your doorstep, huh? Not that I know of. Yeah. Yeah. We're good, man. I'm glad you're staying safe and, uh, and you're staying busy out there.

And I'm happy to see you today, bub. Great to be here. Great to see you too. Alrighty, let's get into a little more. Let's get into a little more. I've also got some tickets out there for Huntsville, Alabama. People can go check it out. Uh, yeah. What else happened at the fight? Let me think of what else happened. There was a lot of, I ran into a lot of great people. There was so many like, um, TPW fans, King and the Sting listener, TPW listeners, King and the Sting listeners. And that was great. Just running across people. You know, the Uber situation in Vegas was insane. The taxi lines, it was all insane. There was a Bruno Mars concert going on. You listen to Bruno Mars, Raleigh? I do.

All right. We got it. We had a Bruno Mars going on. You had Garth Brooks, who was basically the white Bruno Mars, the white senior citizen Bruno Mars at this point. And he hid the bodies or whatever, but you got Garth Brooks, then you had, um, the UFC. And, uh, and man, it was just, there was, it was just so many people going around. And, um, what else? Yeah. Was that the fight? So anyway, I'm sitting next to an empty seat the whole time because I had an extra ticket. Couldn't find anybody to go. And you don't want to get a last minute hooker. I don't feel like you don't. It's just, it's just a lot. It's just because there's that risque moment and anybody that's ever been involved in hookering, you know, whether you've been a consumer or whether

you've sold, sold weenie or sold, uh, female crotch that, you know, I mean, it's the picture people put out there on the interwebs is not the picture that shows up at the door. Okay. It is a little different. It's kind of like pizza. It's like kind of like dominoes or, you know, the thing, the stuff you see on the, on the documents, on the, uh, fan flits or whatever, that's not, it looks good. The Cinnabon's or with a crunchy, you know, the cinnamon, you know, little fuck, you know, chum nuggets or whatever they're called. I don't know what they're called. You know what those are called? Rally Mal. I don't. Awesome. And so the, uh, whatever. Anyway, the treats on the thing, on the, uh, fan flits look good. They look good. The shit you shows up

with your door looks fucking, you know, that's what that and that. And so I just didn't want some, you know, one, you know, some lady's got 2000 lip injections and she's, you know, you know, her lips are like a flotation device in case something happens, you know, like on an airplane, they would be doing the thing in the beginning, like, you know, a mask will fall from the ceiling. Please put the thing, you know, there's a life, uh, uh, dress, uh, addressing under your seat. Please pull it out and put it around your neck and she would just point her lips like, Hey, if we go into water, I'm good, you know, I got these fucking tongue pontoons up here on the outside of my mouth hole. That's going to keep us all safe. You know, so I just didn't

want to get, um, uh, I don't know. I did. That was just a risky move. And then also I didn't want to sell the ticket because I didn't want Joe Rogan here and oh, I sold his fucking ticket, even though he probably would have appreciated it. You know, I know he's a capitalist guy. Just like all the rest of us are in this country or, you know, but I just didn't know. So anyway, I had an extra seat and I was by myself. Um, I was right behind, uh, Dustin, Dustin's wife and, um, and his like kind of family friends, Tim and, and, um, and his wife. And so it was kind of a, I could go up and talk with them and that was exciting. Um, and you could see the different celebrities coming in and out. That was pretty cool. Uh, one thing that's tough about, um, the last time I went,

I got to sit in the seats that are right behind Joe Rogan. So one thing I realized when I'm over there, when I sat over there, you can hear the commentators commentating the fights. You can hear what's going on. The seats that I had this time, I wasn't close enough to hear them. So you don't hear any commentating like at home, you hear the commentating on a television, but I, I, I wasn't hearing any of that. So you're just kind of looking a lot. It's a lot of looking and listening but not hearing like a ton. It's kind of like birdwatching. It's a little, a little bit like birdwatching. Um, after the fight, I snuck in, uh, into the back area I got to hang out with, met some of the

Cleveland Browns. That was really cool, man. Actually, super nice guys. Baker Mayfield, uh, Austin Hooper, respect, man. Um, you know, when we talked about the dark arts, I guess he's, you know, he definitely is, uh, he knew about them. And so we discussed some of that and, and, uh, and Odell Beckham, Jr. Met that man. Um, who else was back there? Uh, uh, uh, David Cho, who's friends with Bobby Lee. You know, that guy is, uh, Raleigh Mal. I do. There you go. And, um, yeah, there was some different Sia. There was some different musicians. You know, all the celebrities that you saw on television, if you watch the fight, um, JB was there, Justin Bieber. I didn't get to see him. Donald Trump. I didn't get to see him.

I saw him come in, but I didn't get to say, Hey, or anything. Um, but it was definitely, you know, it's just all of what's going on. You got the fighters, you got the fan. It was just, it was exciting. Uh, but the difference is the value in seeing it on television is you can hear the commentators, you can hear what's going on. And the tough thing about being at the venue is you don't get any of that. So you just guessing, are they in a arm roll? Are they in a, you know, did he put them in a leg monster? What happened? You know, is he bleeding? Is he bruised? Is he, you know, did he have too much, you know, breakfast? You don't, you don't have any at information. Is he on the front foot side control, you know, mission control, missionary.

You don't know any, if you're on television, you get Joe and John and, uh, Daniel, call me out, telling you the different thing. But when you're just standing there looking, you don't know if the guy is, uh, you know, if he's flat footed, if he's got two arms, if he's, you know, doing a double entendre, you don't know if he's, you know, you don't know if some guy's getting beaten. Uh, you don't know if the, if it's, you know, you don't know if somebody has asthma, if they won their last fight, you don't know if, uh, you know, sugar Sean's about to knock the color, you know, the food coloring out that one dude. I mean, you just, you don't know any of the information. So, but it was magical. Uh, you know, it was really magical. It was just great to be there,

to be able to support Dustin. Then I got to go over to Dustin and his wife's home after, um, and meet some of his coaches. And that was really cool because I got to ask them some questions. Uh, I met the owner of the Atlanta Hawks, the basketball team. I'm kind of just bragging here, but it was just interesting, just, you know, just interesting people to talk to about stuff. I had had an Uber driver that drove a brown car and I'd never seen a brown car since my dad had one. You know, my dad had a Delta Cutlass 88. He had that Delta Cutlass 88 and it had, he bought it off a couple of brothers down the block and it had 22s in the trunk.

And he didn't need the 22s, but he couldn't hear any of them. My father couldn't hear well, you know, is when I got to know my father, he was in his, you know, probably about 78, time I got to kind of start to know him and he would drive us around and just listen to, you know, news and public radio on with, with bass. You know, so it just be like, uh, Jesse Jackson, you know, just listening to just stuff about politics and like, you know, I mean, it was just, it was crazy. You know, listening to the weather, this is 70% chance of brain, just these huge 22s just rattling in the trunk. And one of them had China had old Chinese food in it, it kind of fermented in

there, but anyway, let's get into a couple of videos that came in. Riley, tell me about this. Have you been on any other date since I've seen you? Uh, I was close to one, but, uh, no. And what kind of gal was it? If he had to describe her, give me five words to describe her. Uh, let's see. Brunette, cute, funny, talented, female. Okay. Talented seems like a real, I mean, talented seems like, what was the talent? Uh, she, you know, everyone in Nashville, she, uh, she sings, plays guitar, plays piano. Musician gal. Yeah. That's right. Oh, wait, I forgot. You also were involved in some sort of crime thing or something. Weren't you? I was. And what, um, yeah, what did you, what, what

happened with that? Did you, what, what, what was that deal? I remember somebody sent me a picture and said, and I'm sorry, I didn't check in with you about it. It was late at night when I got it. And I think I was probably watching a movie or something or watching a, uh, one of those 2020 episodes. Have you ever seen this show? I have. God, it's good. And, but, uh, anyway, yeah, what happened with you? Yeah. I mean, just, you know, super long story, but basically, um, you know, it was just, just a couple of roommates. Um, but I, um, I don't talk to them anymore. You know, they don't talk to me, which is good. Um, so we've, we've gone our separate ways. Um, um, and did you go to jail or anything? I did not. Okay. Could you handle it in jail, you think?

What do you think you would do if you went? Oh, I think I could handle it. I don't see that, but I do like your attitude about it, man. Not a lot of people see it. Really? Yeah. Do you think you would have like a, would you keep a weapon on you or something? Um, I mean, in prison, I don't think that's allowed. If it was allowed. Oh yeah. Okay. Right there. I'm telling you, look, I'm going to tell you straight up, Bobby, you know, you're, you're, you know, stand a chance. You are going to get torpedoed in the bot. If you don't have a weapon on, it's, of course, it's not allowed. All right. If you were going in prison by what is allowed, dude, you're done. You're done, Bobby. You know, and I'm sorry to

tell you that straight up, but you can't get to prison and be like, Hey guys, let me see the rulebook. Uh, you know, before I settle in for the night, you will die in your sleep by murder, not natural causes. Yeah, you're not wrong. So I think you gotta, you gotta have a shank. You gotta have a shiv. You gotta have a throwing star, a death star, get a culturally appropriate weapon, get a damn, uh, sire or something. Who was the ninja turtle that had the damn the weird thing that nobody ever wanted to be that guy? Ah, yes, yes. Yeah. Who was he? Do you know it? Um, not at the top of my head. No, it's been, it's been a hot minute. That's your people, buddy. And he had the size. I think they're cold or size or something or say is.

Size. But anyway, uh, yeah, get a weapon, man. And if you thought about the thing, what would you say if you're dying, Raleigh? Uh, I've not. Okay. Do you have anything kind of come to your head that was, you know, your last words? Not that I could think of. All right, we'll come back to you in a little bit. The last words is a tough one. You know, your wife shows up, puts four or five shells right in your cleavage or whatever in your neck. What do you say? What are you? Oh, why did you do it? You know, you want to go out with something heroic, you know, you want to go out like with a, you know, oh, I'm awesome. You know, like you want to get whatever,

you know, you want to, what would you say? Hit the hotline with that 95-664-9503. I would love to know, what would you say? It's your last words. You've just been shived or you know, or poquette or whatever they are. You know, some Asian fella hit you in the damn back with a bow staff or something. You know, some freaking jeet out viet in a damn rice rocket just ran over you and now he's going to run back over you. You know, he's just, he's, he's just softening you up for the Lord with that Honda Civic and you get one chance to say something. What do you say? Ah, you know, go to hell. I mean, what do you say? I could have, I'm hungry. What do you say? You got last words. What are you

saying? It's a good question. We had a lot of neat stuff that came in for the episode. I want to take a peek at some of it right now. Here's a question that came in right here. Here we go, gang. Hey, this is Dakota out of North Carolina and there's a video question and thank you, Dakota, for sending this in. You know, and I like seeing video question. I can get a visual of you because without visual, I don't know. I hear your voice. I don't know who you are. Are you a senior citizen? Are you black? Are you brown? Are you white? Are you pink? Are you pink? Do you have a skin condition or something? Which is fine if you do. You know, when I was growing up, we had a fellow bus, real, real tender skin. He didn't get all

eight layers of skin. You know, kind of God shorted him and he, he, he, he, the old five layer. And his name was Franklin, bro. And they would call him five layer Franklin. And damn, sometimes you would see the sun poke out the clouds and almost just put him on his damn knees. Dear God. And so people would run over with umbrellas or something. He always had a couple of umbrellas on them. But damn, old five layer, they couldn't even, you pat him on the back and we're almost fucking put him on the ground. You know, you could feel his spine real well. You could feel his C spine, T spine. You could feel his element OP spine if he was a damn pervert. But praise God. Thank you for sending this message in here, Dakota, from North Carolina.

And if you like to talk about basketball or, or chewing tobacco, then you will love North Carolina, man. It's where you could put a, you could hit a three pointer and you could put a damn six pointer in your lip if you get one of them high dose, uh, dipping snuff packets onward. I was just wondering how you feel about the trade world, you know, like the trade industry's welders, pussy boy electricians, you know, people who do drywall, shit like that. You know, I'm a welder. I got my helmet right here. And I was just wondering, you know, how you feel about kids getting into the trade world instead of going to college, you know, gang, baby. It's a good question, Mr. You know, I have a brother-in-law,

young fella named Ricky, I think that's his name. That's what he told me his name was. And he could have lied to me, but he's, he's, he's said it for years. That's what it was. But he, um, he's a welder and he really seems to enjoy it. And, and I really think it's a good trade and you can just be guaranteed kind of knowing what money you're going to make. You don't have to go to college where anything could happen at college. You could get damn, you know, you get a lot of diseases hit the dormitories and people get something yellow fever. Riley, now you ever have something hit the dormitories or something? I've not. Okay. Do you ever stay in a communal living type of place for education?

I did. And what happened in there? Anybody come ever come down with a stomach flu or something, even at least ants that y'all get anything in the building, anything that, you know, a grievance that brought you guys together communally. Um, not that I could think of. All right. All right. Good. Well, that's awesome. But, um, here's what I'm telling you, uh, brother is that, yeah, it's good. Get a trade. Know what you're going to do. Then you're in control of it. You go to college. You take an anthropology. You know, you take four years anthropology, you fucking work in anthropology. You don't even, you know, you never see a damn insect unless they got a damn roach hiding in

a quilt in the back. So I think you have to, you know, you know, you're in control of your destiny. And I like welding, man. I do like it. I used to work at a piping. I used to work at a piping company and my job was washing off all the clevis hangers and the pipe fitter stuff and just organizing it. And I had to paint and they had this kind of rubber stuff, this sealant you have to put on things and every now and then, uh, this song by sugar Ray would come on a radio and, and sugar Ray also sounds like a nickname of like a gay man. But anyway, every time this, this band sugar Ray would come on the radio and they had a song called I just want to fly. You ever heard this song rally? I've not. Well, you got to get out more,

buddy. And, uh, it would come on and the welders would stop their welding and they'd make us subservience. We was a couple of us, me and this, my tall friend Billy, he got bit by a shark and he died actually, not at the same time. He died later from something else, aneurysm or pills, but God bless him. And I miss him. He was tall and, and he was an asshole. My friend Billy was a complete asshole, but, uh, but he had, he also was nice. You know, he also was funny and we had a nice time working together. And we will work up, we work this other little fella named soldier, soldier, this black gentleman. And he was, he had on about 90 do rags and, and he didn't do shit. That's the irony. He would come to work and not do shit. Like how you can have on 90 do rags

and you ain't doing shit, but we had a good time, man. But anyway, when the song would come on, I just want to fly or cry. Maybe it could have been, I just want to cry, fly. I just want to fly by sugar rays that welders would make us dance. You know, and they threaten us with the torches and they make us dance, but, uh, very Lord of the flies, ass kind of shit. But we made the most of it. And, and I really loved it, man. I loved going over there. I love the sense of community. You know, I loved, uh, there was drug use if you wanted it. And I didn't mind that. Um, so yeah, I think getting a trade, doing some weld and you get to wear neat hats. Welders have neat hats, you know, some cool little deals and, uh, and their wives get mad at them a lot. I

remember that a lot of the fellows would talk about how their wives were always mad at them. And we'd have good lunch and get you a little big po boy sandwich, man. Go over there by sweet Gerald's had a gay fellow over there on the West bank of New Orleans, the names little sandwich placed over there named sweet Gerald's. God damn it was good. The roast beef was wet, bro. And sweet Gerald, I'll say this. He had a look in his eye like he, he's sweet in the meat personally. You know what I'm saying? And that was, that made you kind of cringe a little, you know, when you swallowed, but after you, you know, once you had a couple of mouthfuls of it, you didn't, you weren't complaining anymore.

But praise God, brother. Thank you for sending in that question. Let's get to one more here. Oh, we got some hood fireworks in Chicago over here. Let's watch that. And you can hear children crying in the background of that. That is a very Fallujah vibe, you know, and hood fireworks is what it is, man. I mean, here's the thing. Everybody want to shut the hood down, but if you don't have the hood, you don't have hood shit going on. And you don't have this one that last, that last shell almost hit a damn dove it looked like. And this is some real, I mean, you almost got a, they should make a team or something as group. The guy in the back yelling hold that bitch gangsta. You know,

these men are having a good time. A couple of adult men out there, you know, firing fireworks in the daytime. That was the interesting part of his daytime still. So kind of wonder what the end game was there with firing some shells. This shit looked real. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them was in it drove off any MRAP man. This looked real militario. So what else we got a lady duct tape to a plane seat. Let's look at this video. Somebody sent it in. Thank you for the submission. That's a lady exiting the plane as she look over and you see the lady sitting there duct taped and they duct tape her mouth, but they didn't do a good job. Have you seen this video, Riley? I have. And what do you think when you see that kind of thing? What do you feel? What do you think?

Um, I mean, it's the thing that happens. Well, now they're previously they had a fellow that beat him down and drug him out of the flight a year and a half ago or two years ago. You remember that? I do. And now it's come to this. Now that it's leaving them in there, I guess, and just taping them up. Do you think that this is kind of handled properly? What would you do? You're at a flight. You're at 2,000 feet or whatever. You know, you're on an airline. Somebody starts losing it. What is the, uh, and you're also a We Blow Scout. What scout are you, Riley? Eagle. Eagle, my bad. Now as an Eagle scout, is this an appropriate way to detain somebody? Is there a special type of,

not you would have done? Um, I mean, I think in, uh, if you're 2,000 feet in the air, uh, this is the only thing you can do is duct tape them. Yeah. What kind of not could have helped? Is there any not that if you have to keep someone to a chair, what not do you go? And this may be more of a question for a We Blow. I don't know the different gradients. Uh, no, honestly, any not will do. Okay. Do you have a favorite not? Uh, I like the bone line not. Hmm. Or the clove hitch. Oh, okay. Okay. Um, and, and, and I want to say, what do you think is leading to this kind of thing? Do you, I think there's a lot of people are not used to being around each other anymore. We've gotten a

little bit more solo. It's the me generation is, and they're all me generations now. Yeah. We're by ourselves. We're in our own world. When we have to interact with others, it stresses us out. We're not used to it. And nothing is more stressful than being on an airplane. Of course, where every other video you see somebody's fist fighting or losing a tooth or attacking people. So it doesn't shock me that this is the place where the stress hits the fan where the shit stress hits the propeller and they duct taped a lady to a plane seat. What do you think is an alternative to duct taping a man like this rally? Um, I mean, if you're 2000 feet in the air, I don't know if there is another wrong answer,

but he's sedating. It would be sedating. And you know, this goes back to the, you know, I was at a funeral recently. A guy died. Everybody I know dies and and I was at the funeral. I saw my principal from when I was in third grade. And he used to be able to give me corporal punishment. That's where they can beat you with the spatula with the non-spatula, but with the big wooden plank. And this dude roughed me down a couple of times. Bill Brady was his name and I sell it. He aged well. He aged well. Still looks like he could, you know, he could, uh, he could really put it on me. You know, I mean, he could, it's still okay. Like he'd make par on my ass with that wooden plank. You know, I'm talking greens

and regulation. This dude would be up down with that thing. He knew how to work the paddle. And that was when you went to the principal's office, they could beat you. And that's what I think we should have. Instead of having, you know, you hit him with a couple pills, giving that butt lozens, bro. Throw it in that back jaw, daddy. You know, hit him with that, uh, suppository. You guys do a lot of suppositories in your culture, Riley. I don't. And have you ever seen them or have you ever done them? Uh, I've not. Alrighty. Well, a lot of them. I'll tell you what it is. They take a butt, a vitamin or something, put it in your butt or appeal. They put it in your butt. Do you know that? I do. Well, at least you guys are knowing it. You know, uh,

and they say it's because your intestine absorbs drugs or whatever it is pretty quick. So, but that'll do it for you right there. Getting that in you. That's what I say. You plant, you know what I'm saying? Give him that fucking hot nugget up the old alnus and next thing you know it or out, you don't have duct tape and who even tape this lady? The taping job is minimal. I feel like, you know, it's basically shoulder tape and then just the mouth. Like you got a, I would say the lady also has green hair. You know, it's just, we're at the point where these are the loose ends of society. These are the loose ends of society and God bless that lady. All right, here we go right here. Um, a guy who looks like me getting on girls.

I'll get rough striking out right now. Definitely not. Here's a guy right there. Oh, he's staying confident. The hard part is to stay confident and look at a woman. Not bad there. Um, Riley, what do you, do you struggle with the, with the actual moving in for the kids? I've spoken about this recently a lot on this show and do you struggle with that kind of thing? What do you, where do you, where do you struggle with when it comes to those intimate moments? I mean, yeah. I mean, last time I remember it was my first kiss. Um, and uh, it was, it was interesting. It was a little tough. And what is the tough part? Like starting the kiss, maintaining it once you kind of get the kiss going. Do you remember what the tough,

what was some of the real strain? Uh, it was just starting off. Um, once you're in it, you're in it. And when you're in the kiss, do you then kind of, do you try and, what do you do with your hands? You put your hands around the woman. Are you, uh, were you aiming for breasts? Were you trying to make further moves or were you just focusing on the mouth and the mouth, um, activity? I mean, I just put my arms around her like I was hugging her. Oh, beautiful. And was that indoors or outdoors? Indoors. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. Take the weather out of the equation, man. Keep more balls in your court, you know. Exactly. And was that the last kiss you've had? As of right now, yes. We got to get you back out there, man. We got to get you back out there. And how do you fend off

the desire to touch yourself then? That's what I struggle with sometimes. I just don't have that desire. Wow. And do you think it's because you're Asian? Do you think it's because you are, what do you attribute that to? Cause a lot of Asian people have that inner power. Um, I don't know if it's an Asian thing. I think it's say, uh, it's a Lord thing. Okay. Wow, man. Yeah. Cause a lot of whites are just out here just spraying out. You know, yeah. So good for you, bub. All right. Let's get into a couple more questions here. And also want to let people know that the sun's out and your bum is out. But hopefully your pubic hair is not, you got pubic hair rally male. I do flip flop season

is upon us. And you're out here with those post pandemic toenails. You got to tighten yourself up. Our friends at manscaped have you covered. They just launched their fourth generation performance package and their shears 2.0 nail grooming kit. Join the manscaped movement by going to manscape.com slash Theo for 20% off in free shipping. That's right. The performance package 4.0 includes the new lawnmower 4.0. This trimmer will change the way you approach your grooming routine. And you know, mine was, I got one, it didn't, I got to get the, my charger's messed up or something, but I got to get the one time I used it, man. It was good. Got a light on it. You can see what you're doing. That's right. If the power goes out,

you can use your lawnmower 4.0 to illuminate the way has an LED spotlight. You can see your junk. Get 20% off and free shipping by going to manscape.com slash Theo support the podcast guys. The podcast will disappear if there isn't support for it. Manscape.com slash Theo for 20% off and free shipping manscape.com slash Theo tame that summer swamp in your pants with manscaped.com slash Theo. I'll let you also know about better help, man. You ever been to a therapist, Riley? I have not. Well, you will one day, buddy. And, and when you do, man, there's better help. Well, and you can do it online. You can do it on your phone. You can do it on FaceTime. You know, I remember one time I was trapped somewhere. I don't remember where

it could have been daytime or nighttime. I couldn't even remember. I couldn't even see that well, but I needed help. And God was, he was not, he wasn't not available, but I needed something. I wanted something different at the moment. And that's why I needed better help, better help. We'll assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating in under 48 hours. It's not a crisis line. This is therapy. These are licensed therapists is committed to facilitating great therapist matches. So they make it easy and free to change counselors. If you don't like your counselor, get a new counselor. There's one of the biggest issues with getting help people get stuck with

it. They start with a counselor and they stay with one, even though they know it's not helping them. Change it up. Change it up. You're there to get help. You're not there to, you know, just, it's not, you're, you know, you're there to get better. Make sure it's a relationship that you can communicate in positively and negatively. Visit betterhelp.com slash Theo. That's better H E L P join the over one million people who've taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. This podcast is sponsored by better help. We all need help. And this past week in listeners get 10% off their first month at better help.com slash T H E O. I'll say this also we got new, new, new merch available Theo von.com

slash store. We also have the art for sale the podcast Ville art if you've seen the, the beautiful animation art that Papi O tune has done. Go to Theo von dot pixels.com. You can get the podcast Ville mugs. You can get the art. It's beautiful when they deliver it. Really nice stuff to have Theo von dot pixels.com. What else I'm drinking liquid death. You know that and it's good people are always sending me pictures on IG of them having a an LD and when I was young LD stood for learning disabled. And we had a lot of it around us, you know, I grew up in an autism area and real hotbed for autism or TISM. They called it then we didn't know it was French or whatever. Now it's they hadn't put the all on it.

But you know, Lance had the TISM or somebody had it Richard, you know, one fellow named Sharpie. We had a black fellow bus named Sharpie and he had a hit of the TISM and a strong hit Jesus. I mean, just damn a genetic swamp inside that beautiful guy. He had nice fucking legs to our member. Dear God, who has the nicest legs you've ever seen Raleigh now? Oh, man, a lot, a lot of girls I've seen. Really? So would you do? Are you a leg man when you fantasize brother? You a leg man or what do you think about? Um, Teddy, what? I mean, everything? Oh, damn. Oh, okay. Okay, big dog. Um, let's get to a couple of questions that came in. And uh,

uh, and we'll figure some things out here. Here we go. Hey, Theo, this is Cam from Lehigh, Utah. Hey, Cam from out there in Utah and Utah is, it's a great place, man. If you want to wrangle a little bit of white titty onward. I just wanted to call in man. This is my first time calling in first off, I just got to say, man, I love you. Love you a ton, man. I know me and a bunch of my friends, we all listen to you. You know, you're something I get to look forward to every single week. Can you put a smile on my face and you know, I'm hoping you can come out here to Salt Lake soon so we could see it. Thank you, Cam. Praise God, brother. I appreciate that. Man, it's nice you to share those words, man. It's important. Okay.

But anyway, man, I got a question for you. Uh, I'm so I'm 20 years old, almost 21. And I'm kind of starting to get to a point where I'm thinking about getting myself into a relationship, you know, maybe someone I can take out to McDonald's or someone nice like that and then touch tell me with a little bit after who knows. Oh damn. Okay. That makes flurry, baby. I feel you gang, but uh, I'm talking to this girl who recently broke up with her boyfriend. They have been together for a little bit, but her boyfriend happens to be one of my best friends that I love like a brother. So I guess my question is, is, you know, what takes priority? Is it bro code? Can I, you know, chase this girl even though she's my friend's ex or, you know, do I

got to let her go? And I just got to find someone else, bro. Uh, yeah, gang, gang, gang, brother. I love you, man. Gang, brother. Love you too, brother. Um, you know, this is a tough one, man. I had a, I had a friend recently who was hooking up with my or who went on. I shouldn't say that who went on a date with an ex of mine without asking me. I didn't know. I find it from her. Um, and it hurt my feelings, man. You know, I got a lot of feelings, so it's easy for him to get hurt. I got, I'm the kind, I have feelings left out in the yard. I got so many damn feelings. I got feelings inside, outside, you know, you'll sit down on my sofa and you're like, Oh, man, I sat on one of your feelings here. You know, I just have some of his feelings, but um,

you know, I think you got to ask him first. That's the first move. Then you have to evaluate the response you get from him. Um, you also don't have to do it immediately. You know, I think given there to be some time, uh, but I would ask him and I would just let him know how you, you know, Hey, I know you dated someone. So I'm kind of interested in her. Do you think it would be strange if I explored a possibility with her? I think that's the way to do it. You got to start with the dude. Now, if he gets weird and is like, look, man, I don't really, I think it's kind of messed up. I think it's okay to also explore some of his reasoning. Like, you know, if he's like, man, I still really like her, be uncomfortable if, if she's around us,

you know, if we go on a taco time or whatever and she's with us and she and I was just at taco time. I still got, you know, a picture of us in my phone for me and her sitting there a month earlier, that might be weird, but now she's over here nibbling on your fucking fajita biscuit. You know, that might be weird. So I think you just got to evaluate it because he might in a month he might feel differently. He's going to feel a lot differently. At least if you talk with him and he doesn't find out some other way. So that's the only way to do it, man. Now, do we all do it that way? No. I mean, did I end up making out with some dude's date who brought it, who he brought a girl to a show of mine in Dallas four years ago? Yeah. You know,

and I still feel bad about it some mornings. So there's ways to do it. Riley, what do you think? Yeah, no, you're right. There you go, guys. All right, let's get another question here. What's up, Theo? My name is Colin. I'm giving a call from Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. What's up, Colin? Down there from Palm Beach Gardens, maybe a PBGE. And that's good stuff going on down in Florida. You know, beautiful people. A lot of summer Hebrews down there, too. You'll see a lot of Hebrews down there summertime, winter timing. You'll see a lot of people,

a lot of pedophiles out there up in North Florida. It's Latinos down in South Florida. You got a lot of escapees and a lot of swamp babies. You'll fucking see a baby learn to slither before it learns to crawl. Like, damn, people are like, oh, look, he's crawling. It's like, I don't know. He's he's moving fast and he just ate a mouse. But onward, brother. You know, I've seen you announced a lot of tour dates recently. And, you know, a little disappointed is like, I was wondering, you know, what's keeping you away from Florida? You know, I know I've I've listened to some podcasts and some other guys. They don't really like coming to Florida. I love coming to Florida, man. I can't wait to get down there. I want to go to

Orlando. That'll probably be the first place I'll go. I think we're putting together a Florida leg of the tour coming up. A lot of it just has to do with places I've been to before and then getting to go back to them. You know, it's taken a lot of like right now, I'm like 40 days off caffeine, 40 days sober from any drug or alcohol right now. So I'm trying to just get myself in a space where I'm healthy enough to get out and do touring, you know, and to feel okay, you know, but I'm feeling really motivated. And I'll get down there, man. We're putting this, we're putting a Louisiana tour together right now for right after Christmas. And I believe that will be in Florida and possibly even Canada right after the first of the year. So thank you for asking, man. We'll get down there.

Hey, Theo, my name's Luca. This one, hey, not you. Sorry, we named our dog Theo. And yeah, anyway, what's up, brother? Luca. And that's a very interesting name. And that's a name from another country as well. Thank you, brother. Onward. I might cut his hair into a mullet. First of all, let's address that. Oh yeah, mullet dog up, baby. Dogs have had the same shitty haircuts forever. It's about time we tighten these bitches up. You know what I'm saying? If they're a man's best friend, they won't mind if we fucking trim their shit up, fam. Gang, baby. Onward. Mullet from dogs, a new trend, apparently. What you think? But anyway, the reason I'm calling in, man, so I just got a promotion at work and I live over here on the

east coast and everything keeps going in the way that they want it to. And that has gone so far. There's talks about them having me move out west somewhere. A couple different states in play, but the question I have for you is, so my chance does not want to move from where we are now. I'm not even talking west coast, just does not want to move. Do I bring it up to her that something might be in play? Because it's going to be like four or five years down the road? Or do we wait until we get to that point? I think you wait until you get a little closer, man. You don't want to be scaring nobody early. And women, they'll start packing early shit. She'll have all your shit packed. You know what I'm saying? You won't be able to, you know,

you won't be able to get a damn soup spoon for the next five years. And you don't even know if you're going. She'll be like, it's in the box. It's in the box. You know, you're looking for a hat or a summer shirt. You know, something kind of almost strapless summer shirt or whatever. And you can't, you know, it's all in the box, everything. So you don't want to be living out of boxes just because, you know, even if she does start preparing, if she comes around because they'll pack everything. You know, I just sleep overnight at my friend Scott's house when I was young and his mom would make the bed. We'd be still in it. She was just a real clean freak. I'd be in the dang bed. She'd make it. What are you going to do

today? I don't know. Try and get out this bed. You know, as I'm pinned down. So, and if your wife refuses to move, that ain't your wife, bro. That's a lady you used to know who's now having to support herself. That's who that is, buddy. So, but I think you wait and evaluate a little bit closer, man. All right. Let's get one more right here. Here we go. What's up, Dio? This is TK after in northeast Missouri. TK. And I used to know a fellow with a one-legged named TK. And I don't know what it stood for, but who cares also what it stands for? Omward. Thank you for calling, man. Hey, I got a dilemma and I need you to help me solve it. My girlfriend, she drinks coffee all

day and she brushes her teeth and stuff all the time, but her breath don't smell right. And it drives me nuts. And I'm just kind of wondering how she'd go about it. Should I just give her hints or should I tell her that her breath smelled like dookie? Or just be upfront about it? I don't know, man. Just let me know what what you think I should do and help me with my problem. Praise God, brother. And thank you for reaching out to me today about this, man. And this is an issue I think in a lot of communities, you know, you know, and actually, I think a lot of communities is different. A lot of Asian people don't have bad breath, really. You know, they got they got that fang shui in them, baby. You know,

they're all shang'd up in their way, bro. They really, you know, they're all, you know, they they got they just have they small things and it's very digestible. And they can, you know, they'll have a little bit of maybe ravioli or something, but they also follow it up with like an apple cider or something. You know, they're very, they drink out of small cups. They really, really, so they're not just flooding the system, you know, a lot of black people and white people will just flood their system with fucking chicken nuggets and, you know, bullshit and all of this milkshake. So you let you see you notice a lot of bad breath in your culture. Raleigh now. I don't, I knew it. I knew that. Thank you, man. But I would say this if I dated

a girl with bad breath, man, her, her, her breath got bad at night. And, uh, and I was afraid to tell her anything. But I think if it's a girl you love and you're with constantly, I think you slip a couple of minutes, you know, and then eventually to say, Hey, baby, your breath is not as good as it could be. And I want the most out of you, you know, I want to love you and smell you. And any woman, nobody's going to be mad if you tell me that bad breath. But it is hard to do. But look, we back you, we support you. And, uh, and I think that you can do it. So I really believe that you can do it, brother. And, and look, if somebody leaves you because they have bad breath, dude, fuck them. If they're like, I'm leaving you, then take

your little fricking booty mount and hit the road. You out here fucking swamp chatter. Hit the road. So it's a win-win situation. Now, unless you secretly low key like having her have bad breath, and maybe that's what's going on as well. Um, I, uh, I gotta run. I gotta run. Uh, Riley, man, thank you so much for being here. Let's what would you, what would your last words be? Riley, did you, did you get something? I'll just say, you know, I mean, if I can't, uh, if it is my last words and I can't, you know, have more words, I'll just be like, I'm out y'all. Peace. Okay. There you go. Even, even if it's a slaying, you're at a park, somebody stab you, you know, I mean, I can't go back in time. If they

already stabbed me and I'm already dying, you know, why not go out with Bing? Yeah, I'm out guys. Peace. Yeah, I like that kind of, it just kind of covers everything kind of no matter where you're at. It's kind of okay. It's not really like abrasive to anyone. It's just like I'm out. Right? Yeah. Okay. All right. Uh, well, I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers too to find a love of your life one day, Riley Mal. Thanks man. You know, I believe that she's out there. Do you? Oh, she's out there somewhere. Just don't know where, don't know when. Yeah. Well, she'll show up man, hopefully sooner than later. Maybe you think you're ready for it now? Oh, I'm ready. There you go. Now those would be my last words I think. Oh, I'm ready. I'm ready for the

Lord. I'm ready to hit that next level. I'm ready to warp zone. My last words I'm trying to think would be, uh, let me think. Somebody stab your shoot you. I'll be like, gang gang. Or maybe I'll be like, bitch, better have my money. Yeah. One of those, man. I don't hit them with that gang gang or bitch, better have my money. But the diamond pourier one man, he won. And it was exciting. We went to an after party after it was fun. They had, you know, the bottles, you know, just like people doing stuff like a nice sign it said Dustin, you know, and it's just cool to watch someone achieve their dream. There's

something special about seeing somebody achieve a dream. I think whether it's big or small, it can be some kid getting a hit hitting a baseball for the first time or even hitting it off the tee. You know, it could be somebody getting their first kiss or touching their first, you know, titty through electric fence like I did. You know, it could be somebody surviving a dog bite or, or making a casserole that their grandmother used to make. You know, it's just, it's beautiful seeing somebody live out a dream, big or small. That's what we're here for, man. I think sometimes it's just to bear witness to even life, which I'm sure was the dream of some higher power.

Maybe. I don't know. I don't know, baby, but I do know this, man, that I'm on the come up and you got some catches here. We'll be back, we'll be back on another episode soon. Thank you so much for being a part of my life. You can get tickets at theovon.com slash tour. Thank you so much for being a part of my life. And, uh, and I mean that, you know, I'm lucky to be living out one of my dreams. And, uh, and so much of that is because of, uh, you guys. So hope to meet each and every person that listens to this podcast in person sooner than later. And, uh, you guys be good to yourselves. Uh, Riley mouth. Thank you for coming in brother. Thanks for robbing me Theo. You bet, buddy. All right, gang, baby, we out.