This Past Weekend - E352 Red Rover

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

Theo talks about spending the week at Jimmy John's "Summer Camp" with Travis Tritt, Kid Rock and The Zac Brown Band, breaks down controversies surrounding Covid and the Tokyo Olympics and tries to help young Riley Mau get into the dating scene. New Merch: https://theovonstore.com​ New Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour Podcastville mugs and digital prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com Music: "Little Black Flies" - Eddie 9Vhttps://songwhip.com/eddie-9v/little-black-flies "Every Night" - Jameson Floodhttps://bit.ly/3fM8Gbd Support our Sponsors: Manscaped: https://manscaped.com/theo for 20% OFF and FREE ShippingUpstart: https://upstart.com/Theo for a fast and easy way to pay off your debtBabbel: https://Babbel.com/ use promo code THEOFreshly: https://freshly.com/theo  Grey Block Pizza: https://www.greyblockpizza.comLiquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com   Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to [e-mail]. Hit the Hotline [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw  Producer: Nick Davis https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Producer: Sean Dugan https://instagram.com/SeanDuganSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What size shirt you wear brother small yeah, and how does that feel on you? Does it feel tight feels good? What a little tight, but good Hey man brother All right today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza Gray block pizza 1811 pico boulevard on the way to the beach gray block get that hitter, baby You know, I really I live between them I live kind of between uh, I Live in a lot. I kind of go with a large shirt and And sometimes I want to be in an XL

You know, I want to just be in an XL. I want people to see me and be like oh, yeah, he wears an XL You know, I want the ladies to see me and say oh, yeah, that's an XL fella. That's a real You know, that's a stallion or something Because I feel sometimes like a little you know, I Mean I was so excited when I got from a medium to an L. I was I Remember I bought myself a damn can of beer when I when I did it You know when I got from that medium to that L. I remember getting myself a damn cold can of beer and God I just felt like I had made it

You know and And some people, you know, your size you run out of size, you know God only gives you so much size and you run out of you know, you know He doesn't give you enough yarn to keep sewing yourself bigger and bigger and so you run out and you kind of You know, you're stuck with the quilt that you are and and you're always I feel like as a man You're always kind of hoping to get to those other levels, you know the to the S to the M to the L to that XL

And the double XL that's true. That's really That feels like tricky territory To me Riley, what do you think about that? Yeah, I think you're totally right And did you ever go from an XS to an S? I have and what was that like for you? Oh It was a change. Yeah, did you feel you remember when it was? I think it was around sixth grade Six seventh God, it's beautiful man And what happened your bones grew out or something they did and did you remember people noticing did you notice?

Did you feel any different? Yeah, I felt a lot different. I felt a lot better and Do you think will you ever get to an M? Do you think you're headed there? You feel it coming on? So sometimes I wear M's. Oh, really? I do depends what type of shirt. Okay So big dog Getting out and about huh? Yeah, seems so things things are changing for you buck. Oh, I love that. I love hearing that I love hearing people get to new levels All right, let's see what we can do here

You're welcome to this past weekend You can see the cigarette burns on the wall come on and all the empty bottles in the hall If the water gets too rough, you know, who to call And I can see the way it looks in your eyes I can see it baby. I'm so so lost with his foolish lies If you even have to ask baby, I'm surprised. I'm so surprised Oh Black flies and

That is any nine volt and that's a new hit they got there that new raw That new soul ringer right there any nine volt coming in hard Coming in hard like an erect garbage man, baby and doing what he do Collecting things baby. That's it right there Man little black little Black flies That'll get you get that'll get it for you right there and that's off that album I think a little black flies. I believe is the name of their album. That's any nine volt

Good to be here with you today You know, I've been watching the Olympics. I just went out of town You know, I tend to travel and I remember when I was young The first place ever win a friend of mine a neighbor and this fellow was haunted man This fellow was haunted brother and his little Gerald was this boy and he was he had a Deficiency or something when he would say something he would say it again under his breath real quick, you know He would be like, yeah, I'm going I'm going to get me a lime soda. I'm going to get me a lime soda He would say things twice and people thought that he was twins that had never separated

You know, people said, oh, we got another one in there and God never divvied him up at birth and so he's doubled up in there And other people said it's just an echo. You know, he got a big he got a wide throat. So When he says something one time, then you just hear it another time here at another time So there's all these different rumors and speculations, you know But I you know when I see you But I you know when I see Gerald he would just say, you know, he would say something to you and then he would say something to He'd be like, man, I got to go home. It's lunchtime. I got to go home. It's lunchtime

You know, he just had that double up on him. He had that reverb that heavy He had that heavy uh, vert that audio bounce inside of him You know, just just double dribbling all of his syllables and consonants and every word You know, God was just double dribbling on him And the first time ever went anywhere. I remember his his mom was uh His mama was fat And I hate to say it like that and she was She wasn't like she didn't have like a beer belly and look

We all come in different sizes And I think there's advantages and disadvantages to all of them And his mama was just warm like a damn. I mean she just I think she worked at a hospital or at a Either that or she just wore she might have just worn men's clothing and I don't know what she did She just she always had matching pantsuit top and bottom So she could have been a nurse or she could have been a damn, uh Uh, you know, she kind of dressed like a black guy, you know matching pants and shirt

You know what I'm talking about rally I do And anyway, she was so warm. She's a big lady. She kind of you know, and I I shouldn't have said she's fat. I mean, and I don't mean to like that like degrade and right. This means she's a you know She was just she had extra And that's the kind of woman she was she had a little extra hug for you. She had a little extra love She had an extra You know whispering your ear if you needed she had a little extra sandwich

If you needed a meat on a bread she had it for you I don't remember her name. I don't remember her name was she and she died. She did die eventually. I'm not sure what happened But she really, uh She wore like a gold chain as well. She dressed honestly like a brother She dressed like, you know, kind of like a crayola crayon with a gold chain on you know A lot of times you'll see a black gentleman have orange pan orange shirt orange orange

Leggans orange shirt orange sunglass. He'll the full Dicotomy of one color You know, um, anyway, they took me one time to I guess it was a campground. I thought it was in mississippi Mississippi america and if you haven't been there You're rich very much like, uh Uh It's like reading tom Sawyer, but

With your time with your lot with your body and and your time. It's like basically wandering around inside of tom Sawyer You know, you see people that don't even believe don't even believe don't even know about certain things you tell people You know about the 21st century. I don't even believe you You know people too busy You know drinking sweet tea and just kind of You know putting teeth under their pillow hoping for the best kind of vibe But anyway, so we went there and that was the first place I'd ever traveled to the first my first experience getting out

And they took me over there to mississippian And uh, we went swimming in some type of Hell, I don't know what it was. It could have been out there. I think it was some type of a river or something And uh, and they had a snake in there and I was so scared and And we stayed in these trailer homes and we ate bologna sandwiches And if you haven't had bologna, I mean, it's like, uh It's like a damn Have you had it rally now bologna meat? I have and what was your experience with it? Like, how would you describe it?

um, it's more like a type of ham, I would say okay You look that up for us. Tell us a little bit more about it if you can And I remember we had it and we had just american cheese on these buns and Some type of condiment on there could have been mayonnaise could have been white mustard I think they came out briefly with a white mustard that never took off

because I think people were squirting it on each other and saying it was You know e-jack or semen or whatever, you know, all kids will be but uh Anyway, what do you got rally any intel on it? Yeah, it's a meat batter so beef pork turkey chicken or all of the above damn So that's a damn charlotte's web gang bang right there. You know what I'm saying, baby? That's everything. I mean if you I mean, that's really just like taking a damn farm and putting it in a blender and then pouring it right into your body or into your buddy's body, but anyway, that was the first time that ever traveled and that's where I went and Since then I've continued to travel. I've been a traveling man and

You know this past weekend I went up to um man minog minog Minnesota Can you look at it for me minog? ming ming non I think ming non like like filet ming non

ming non minnesota, what does it say? There's a top 10 best filet mingon in minnesota Alrighty man, but this place was called. I think um I think ming non minnesota. I'm not sure it could have been called ming non But I went up there and man I went up there jimmy john invited me and you guys know jimmy john the sandwich monarch. He's that turkey tom king pin You know That's who he is and he invited me up there and he does a summer camp with

all of his friends he invites all type of friends and humans and um And we and and I got to go And man flew up there on a private plane fancy plane beautiful. I mean god even the air smelled like You you'd inhale and just you knew a couple stock tips You know you just I mean and you clear your throat and find out some cryptocurrency in it, you know just Living high on the hog baby Like somebody put a ladder on a damn pigs back and I went up that man. I was living high on the hog

So we took that the jimmy john jet up there Oh, sorry man. I got got a little bit of bitcoin. I think they're still stuck in my throat from the experience um But we went up there and it was awesome. He literally He literally treats his friends to a summer camp in the summer and it's adults and children and Childish adults and adultish kids you know autism

and everything man there's people up there and uh You know the travest trick came and played the american country music icon who Really has a voice like somebody stuffed three black dudes right into his esophagus You know and one black woman. I mean he gots all the You know he he hits the notes baby um A band called jj gray

uh Who else zack brown band came up and played and man? They got so many hits Dude, you could have a concussion Just from listening to them But it was awesome. They had cduz and jet skis. I went fishing Caught a uh sturgeon or a little baby sturgeon or something

Caught me a little carp a little bit of lake carp or sunfish or brim or Uh Soccolay speckle try there's so many names for this one fish that comes out of a lake. It's just You know, it's one little fish and there's so many names for it, you know white fish soccolay perch brim sun fish um uh

You know white coy uh And white coy was also also the name of every wigger dude in in any community any kind of white dude that wanted to be black Wig uh They were his name was coy usually And he wore north carolina jersey baby. Praise god. No Uh, but what are we talking about man? I went fishing we went see uh cduz and jet skiing watched fireworks

Had a nice little cabin. They had some brand new cabins. They had a gym man. It was It just made me one of the things that was cool. It was like if you have some extra currency One great way to spend it is doing something fun with your friends Instead of saving that money just saving it all there's for what you know So anyway, it was I got to I met climp boyer and he is a um

He drove nascar. You know who that is rally mile I don't you watch a lot of nascar or not. They allow that in your you guys's deal Uh a little bit Yeah, I guess it's all bumper to bumper in In y'all's culture, huh? It is Have you um, what was your first car rally? It was a Honda Accord. Oh, yeah I had one

They're good, huh? Yeah, they're reliable. They are reliable god. My first car was a Ford escort I don't know if they still have them out of discontinued them because of fire hazards and a couple other small issues they had but Uh They um One of them you could put a motorcycle tire on the on it

If you ran out of regular tires or the ability to get to a tire to tire up See you could do that baby and then I remember we could you know Sometimes we wouldn't be able to sleep anywhere. We we so we popped a couple of uh We chiseled a couple holes into the The back of the hatch back and put some Uh plastic tubing out of them and you could just You know, you have to kind of keep your mouth on the tube

But you could sleep in the back then and just breathe out through through in and out of the outside Interesting. It's a pretty cool stuff. But anyway, I had a great time went up there called some fish called some, uh Just called some joy I mean just staying up laughing. I mean they had some Um red necks up there and white necks and black necks and Uh They had one dude had no neck on him, you know a necklace dude just straight up shoulders to brain, you know Just dude. I mean just wore his thoughts on his sleeve. You know that kind of fell in

Um And if you're watching on youtube, we got a lot of I'll put a lot of you know edits in of uh We'll put some photos in different times from the weekend Um, but I got to go on this little k&m car. It's like this Uh, can you pull up a picture of that? Do you mind really k&m? c a n dash a m This it's like a four-wheeler Looks like a big cricket kind of but with wheels instead of legs

And it's a fierce deal and I got to go racing on that with clint boyers And if you're not familiar with clint boyers, he's uh, and I wasn't either. I never met the man or Knew about him. I believed he could exist, but I'd never knew but actually I'd heard his name, but I'd never met him So I didn't know he existed. I just heard his name And he took me out on that you see it. I do interesting. How would you describe it? I think it's an atv atv there you go Or it used to be atv. I don't know what it is now. I mean they remodeled it. I mean it's a vehicle now Right, but at one time. Yeah, I guess it could have been a damn tv

but I mean this shit had all the bells and whistles, you know and And we got out there and we went on these off-road trails and when you're riding with a real man who is a NASCAR man you know a guy who I mean this dude probably he'll drink gas and then just regurgitated into his tank if he needs to get that extra lap you know what i'm saying he will uh Siphon out of his own body for that extra, you know that last leader um

Yeah, it was just a whirlwind so But it's just it it was cool, man. It was cool and uh Kid rock was up there the freaking the methadone mascot of america basically And he's up there and he gots a beautiful brother that only gots one leg Beautiful fellow named billy one-legged guy And beautiful and I swear to god if I had a brother if I had as much money as kid rock does and I had a brother with one leg I'll tell you this. I'd get him another leg

but That ain't how uh That ain't okay rock spins his cash, I guess he does things different so praise god, baby. Um What else is going on, uh, but yeah, I was just thankful man. I you know, it's just interesting you meet you meet a guy Jimmy John through the podcast and then he invites you on a fun weekend and Just remind you it was just a nice to be around people You know, I'm not around people very much, you know, I'm my job is very solitude Very solitude-ish, you know, it's solamente. That's spanish for just me

and So to get to be around people and laugh and You know some kid tried to buy drugs off me and And you know just That's you know, that's america, baby You know That's america man and And the best part was I said to the kid I said look man, I can't sell drugs to you

You know, if you're not you know, if you're in my family and you're a child, I'll consider it more but You know, this is a child that's not in my family and And he said well look man, they're not for me. They're I'm gonna I'm gonna resell them and And that's america, man That's america, baby. You got to respect that But that was a beautiful time made me a little bit of prime rib. It's a couple hot cake in the morning And it was good man He was smooth got me a little smooching on

You know Touching face with some other With some feminine Deal, you know a little baby out there little baby dragging sucking face with a little bit with a little baby dragon Out there Raleigh. Mal. How's the update with you with the ladies? Uh not going that well Yeah

Well, we got a lot of calls that have come in today about you know last episode you weren't here. We talked about the first time That I'd ever ejaculated out of my body You know And just lost that tug of war with the devil, you know and uh So we got a lot of beautiful young men or I don't know if they're beautiful, but I assume that they are on the inside Who have called in well who will be sharing some of their stories? And uh So we'll get into that. You remember your first time bucko? Uh, no

No, I've never happened Really? You've never masturbated. No. Oh my gosh, brother Wow, man, what is that called? Is that what do you guys call that? Nothing really There's got to be a special nickname. I think in Gay culture if it's a man in gay culture A guy that's never kissed a woman is called a golden Oreo

So I wonder what that is my god, brother Damn You just have just baby's breath inside of your Nuts right now. That is damn beautiful, brother. Congratulations, man. Thank you You think you'd be able to hold the line are you trying to hold the line until marriage you think or just until a relationship? Yeah, till marriage. Wow Good for you, brother And do you feel like you have more of an inner strength going on? I do. Yeah

You know, I had breakfast with a guy a couple weeks ago and he'd never masturbated and I was just so jealous Because the rest because I masturbated honestly less than Probably 11 hours ago or 12 hours ago So I couldn't get to sleep and I just felt the devil just climbing up and down my penis and I just had to do something When you get that feeling what do you do just chill out put your hands on ice or what? Um, I don't really get the feeling damn Now what if you get erection in your body, what do you do? Can't say I got that either what really?

Mm-hmm. Oh my god Huh And do you think you help me you might have an iron deficiency or something or do you think it's just No, I think I just contain it You're like damn Chun Lee, bro Mm-hmm God God

Dude how far could you jump? I bet you could jump down 11 feet, huh? I wish I bet if you tried hard you could man Unbelievable The unjackable Riley mile ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being here today, brother. Thanks for having me know that man I did not know I was sitting here With just a man that was riding That paced baby all the way to the finish line Because yeah, I struggle with it man. I just

I do good and then I just struggle You know But I hate just jerking out. I hate it But What do you say to people out there who are who are considering who are on the fence about masturbation? Um, I mean, I would say do as you please but I wouldn't recommend it I'm one of those few guys that wouldn't recommend it. Wow And do you know other people who are like you just like a damn human christmas carol? I do you do

Wow And do y'all meet up somewhere or something? Do you are you guys in a group chat? Um, not really a group chat But you guys know who each other are right damn You know I've always it's like a superpower It is a super everybody wants to be iron man You know But iron man that you know, he ain't nothing out at night He ain't in there making macadamians in his bedroom. You know

So there is a lot of power and cheating up Cheese up hosed down, baby. You know what I'm saying I do you do Dang so do you ever think about the long road you have to hoe before you're gonna get to some uh You know some you know Skeet that's what they call it in the urban community. Yeah, it comes across my mind a few times. Damn I almost want to be there when it happens brother no homo, you know, I'll invite you well come on now That might be a bit. You know, but maybe I'll be outside if there's a window or something. I don't want to be right up front

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That's upstart Dot com slash Theo Don't forget to use our url to let them know we sent you Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information Provided in your loan application go to upstart.com slash thio Yeah, you've been watching the olympics rally Uh, just a little bit. Okay, and do you have a favorite sport? What do you guys In your culture? Is there a favorite sport over there?

I like hockey. Oh really? Mm-hmm. What is it about it? Uh, I don't know. It's just more engaging and fun in my opinion. Yeah So and it's this is summer olympics. So they don't have it right right So you're just watching and looking forward, but they don't have it. I've done that Yeah, I've done that before some of them will watch basketball and just wish it was football the whole time But I'll keep watching Um, a couple of news stories out of the olympics a belarusian sprinter christina

Simanuskaya was granted a polis humanitarian visa While seeking political asylum after she refused to board a flight back to her home country from the tokyo games This is pretty wild man. Her home country wanted her to wanted to pull her out of the olympic games And so she asked for help on instagram Uh, and here she is right here. Here's her statement And she asked the olympic international the international olympic committee to get involved and help her out You know, her own country didn't like some of the way she was representing them and they they said This is a no-go. We're going to pull you out of here and uh

And she didn't want that so she asked for help while she was away from belarus. She asked for help And so now polin came along polish power And they're letting her drop over there in a war saw And you know, this is the type of thing this to me is Is an act of Like speaking out against types of oppression You know this to me is you know, you have a we've had a different american um Olympians, you know, they have some new lady the other day

She got it looks like a piece of king cake. Her hair's kind of died up and She you know just talking about oppression from the medal stand and I don't even think she won first place either I think she was silver First of all, I think you should be you should have to get first place to to talk about the oppression And also if you're in america, there's no there's not oppression I don't feel like there's oppression You know, I've met people from every race and every gender And even animals look at airbud

Dude in some countries, you know, no offense, you know riley mall, but in some countries do that You know, you go to some of these more like kennel snack and continents and things would be different That thing's a movie star over here You know, so when a lot of these people are just talking about oppression And but they're literally standing in a place where they able to say whatever they want And can still go back to their own country I think it's a perfect example of uh seeing her This is a real example of what like oppression and control

Uh by our country really looks like What do you think riley on any of this? Have you seen any of this? You don't know about it? I haven't Okay, um But yeah, I think I'm just over the You know the look at me When you're living in an amazing life, it's really hard to uh To say that the place you're living it in the platform you're living it in is oppressing you I mean, I think we all feel somewhat

Pressured and struggle through society But there needs to be Struggle for everyone there needs to be some pressure um But yeah, uh, uh, this is this is something that is real when now you can't even go back home Because you spoke freely I bet if that was the case For some of the american athletes

Uh, I bet that they Would have a different a understanding of oppression and then be a different tone. I think but what do I know? You know, I'm saying just one human Who's ejaculated less than 11 hours ago? So and not really proud of it You know um What else man, what else is going on uh a little boozy

He's been on the pod, you know that and he had uh, he had a little speech he gave about Homosexuality being pushed. He said how y'all trying to force this This gay stuff on the world. It's sad. How y'all trying to ban artists Y'all said bro It's sad, bro You know In 10 years it's gonna it ain't gonna be normal for a kid to be straight You know, it's sad, bro

Y'all trying to force it on on on on these kids, bro You know Pushing it on the artist push it on all the biggest artists. You know why? Because the kids love those artists You're attacking these kids the kids love these artists So we're gonna make all them promote this shit. We're gonna make all them promoted and who gonna follow the kids It's sad, bro

It's sad, bro Lil boozy speaking out of one thing I love about lil booze. He's always if he's always willing to share what his real thoughts are You know, and it's something I I struggle to do man. I think a lot of us struggle to do that in today's society with the fear of retaliation You know and most of my fear of retaliation You know comes sometimes from Uh

You know just that I won't be able to have opportunities on certain platforms. I'll be de-platformed It's pretty it's pretty scary You know that here we are you know America like uh How it even got started people wanted to think their own way And think something that was against the norm and say stuff that was against the norm so they left In a boat

But now there's no new place to go to Um There's no you can't just get in a boat and go to a new america Canada's not even letting people in right now. They're still dealing with the first covet or whatever. I don't know what they're doing You know, and I wish somebody would go help them out because they're you know I get so many DMs from people in Canada like jesus christ come help us out You know, they found five people with covid in a snow bank somewhere

Up near you know Up in Saskatchewan and so now the rest of us can't go see our grandparents for another year But little boozy look man, they definitely it feels like there is a lot of times an agenda This bigger picture agenda You know like being straight is definitely feels like it's Like it is frowned upon or it is it's not right um

I I agree in all in some of the sense that a lot of times they want to create a lot of uncertainty and kids and that's who Who consumes a lot of stuff and who really believes a lot of things that they see through media You know, you got eight-year-old children now saying that they're they may be gay or Or they are gay and you're like well You might be but I wouldn't it might be a little early to call the horse race And it's wild man the media is wild on all fronts You know I think anyway the media has just gotten out of control

I think the media has created a lot of problems with the covid thing a lot of you know Nobody knows if they can trust a news source anymore And I believe it's just because you can't The news wins if we're all fighting if we're all sitting there in fear of covid watching the news To get the next dose of whatever they want to say then that's how they win Especially now when there's like different news channels and some of them don't even feel america like feels like some of them just

I don't know like they just looked so down upon america where It which is the country you're allowed to even have the freedom of speech in it It's all kind of baffling to me. Am I am I losing you here rally? No, I'm here What do you think on some of this do you think sometimes the media kind of Or that like a lot of stuff is Anti-straight or do you think there's any of that going on? What do you what what do you guys hearing on your end of it of the horn? Honestly, I don't really listen to the news that much anymore. Yeah, because a lot of it's fake. Yeah And I don't either I think I just get fearful when I see people who do sometimes, you know

That's almost real scary to me is meeting somebody who Believes the news, but then also If you don't have the news all you have is that inner news your instincts And and they're not really letting people live by those anymore Uh, it feels like it's getting real dicey out there But I applaud a little boosty for speaking his mind You know a lot of a lot of media a lot of television and movies these days Mostly movies have gotten really bad because everything's so woke. It's the most what it's just like

Every character is gay or trans or has You know, they have a ghost now. They have two gay ghosts. I saw the other day somewhere Doing something. They're not scaring people because it's wrong. It's like you're a fucking ghost You're a ghost Your job is to do scaring Okay I don't need a ghost two ghosts You know

To open up a You know a cat rescue You know what I'm saying? That's not your jobs to be ghosting So it's just getting different out there it's getting a little dicey out there uh Let's get to a little more news and then we'll get to uh Get to what else is going on the wuhan lab, you know, that's coming out that they say that they've You know a uh

A federal committee has determined that there's a lot of evidence that believes Uh, the mainstream media was silent on alarming findings from the house foreign affairs committee Uh, a probe into the possible ordinances of covet 19 on monday Despite one lawmaker calling it the greatest cover-up in human history Look a lot of people have thought that this where the disease came from Um, uh So I don't think I think this is just an example of The news puts out what it wants to put out

And so they're now shaping what you believe what you know and that's what's scary That's what's scary is that the media can shape what we what we know And what we believe they always have I feel like there used to be a sense that you could trust them, but now there's not that sense So of course you're gonna have every You're gonna have people believe in things you're gonna have people uncertain what to believe You can have people trust in their instincts That's kind of where I'm at man

That's kind of where I'm at one other thing I noticed the if you look at the olympic medals the three leading countries are uh china america and russia Which I think is just kind of fascinating because those kind are kind of like the countries that they've that keep getting like spit around as um Like at each other's throats kind of or influencing each other's policies or having an effect on each other's policies or Terrafing each other boycotting each other

um So I just it's almost like It's just it makes it's like if there's some sort of bigger power some new world order that's moving things around Then it makes sense that now in the olympics These are the three countries that are Uh, the metal leaders that are kind of against each other. It's almost like it's just Building the plot more and more You know

You know, um, just the accusation of russia infecting american politics and uh, the issues with the the virus coming from china and the denial of it, uh by by um Some american media and american politics. It's just interesting that these are the three that are in the olympics and it's neck and neck and I don't know You know get a glock and a little bit of property. I think if you can I feel like because it seems like it's spooky sometimes Like you don't know when they're gonna turn this the switch up even higher

And the grill under all of our feet is gonna get a little bit gonna get a little bit wicked But maybe that's all crazy. What do you think riley malty you think i'm making any sense or nothing? Yeah, no you make perfect sense dang And now this is coming from an oracle This is coming from the beautiful little filipino oracle right here the undaunted the un The unbustable riley mal will call you man We got to find you a decent girlfriend, don't we? Yeah, we do now. Can you date legally and everything? Yeah, yeah

We'll have to see if we can find a decent lady for you. What's your instagram handle riley? It is at riley mal films at riley mal films So ladies if you're a decent lady Who is willing uh You know Be that bust hunter that filipino bust hunter then you can go after this young fella right there and And I don't you feel like I'm auctioning you off. I don't want to be doing that. No, please do. Okay. There you go And there you go speaking his real mind The little boozy of our uh

Studio right here. Actually, you know what real quick. We got a video of somebody losing it in a waffle house. Let's see that Please And this is a couple of cute white girls actually enjoying some What looks to be let me rewind that I think that was Uh potato Potato And while a couple of aggressive You're not on a progressive but a couple of urban women and one of the women wearing complete lime outfit

Lime coloring So that is kind of a thing in the urban community. You'll see a lot of full color Lime While these people enjoy a bit of potato here A couple dimes here pataten up while uh A couple other people

Not handling society very well at that moment And There you go and somebody just trying to work and somebody doesn't know how to be a societal person right there and that's It's always tough. You ever been in a place where they had a fight in the establishment, Raleigh Actually, yeah, just recently Where were you at?

Um, I was at one of the bars in downtown Nashville. Oh, wow. So you go out to the bars though I do Okay, and what type of places do you enjoy when you go out? Do you enjoy a bit of music? Do you enjoy a bit of just uh People sitting around telling tales or what? Um, yeah, either like, you know live shows that artists in Nashville I'm go to and perform or Like edm raves Okay, damn

Now that feels like it'd be risking that you know risk in that body nut taking your body an unexploded body out to an edm Ray because there's a lot of sexy outfits out there. Uh, not for me And what do you just drink cold water the other time? Do you hold ice in your hands? What do you do? Um, sometimes water but beer as well. Oh really you'll have some beer. Mm-hmm. Dang And that's really man, that's right. That's getting on the bull said. How do you have beer and not masturbate your body off? Um, I just drink beer to have a good time BAM Oh god, I need god

I need god man Oh, I just can't stay off that bus stick recently, but uh, anyway Speaking of that man, we had I'm gonna let you know, uh, I gotta I actually have some show a show in Nashville tomorrow. No thursday night I'm gonna be running my uh The hour Um, it's gonna be over there at zanies or may still be tickets available. Actually, I don't even know if there will be when this goes up but

Just letting you know when the other places i'm coming too soon hauntsville st. Louis Cincinnati wilkes barry Minneapolis charleston Richmond baltimore portland burlington albany buffalo columbus We will be putting some florida on the uh schedule in the for the spring that'll go up probably in about a month. I think As well, I want to get up there to canada if you guys ever open your country up So i'll be looking forward to getting up there and seeing you guys. Um

What else oh Before we get to a lot of men called in about that first bus they had laurel hubbard And openly trans female weightlifter failed to complete any of her three lifts at the women's 87 kilogram olympic weightlifting competition She's become the first out trans woman to compete at the olympics Hubbard met all the requirements Set by the i wf, but her participation came with controversy. Yep What I think it should I would love to see and this is just an idealistic

Thing an idea I'll call it I wish that it was a trade program You get one we get one. We'll send you ronnie. You send us No, we don't want elizabeth. Okay. We want diana You know you send us jacob. We'll take rondisha Like I feel like that it would be better if there was a

Kind of a commission where you got the trade Where you got the trade and you had to go all the way through And live like say if the man that's coming over he was a postman and now he wants to work If he switches at the same time as somebody else to a different gender that red rover Then they got to be in that person's job. So if you come over You got to do whatever that you know That lady was doing if she's an esthetician now ronnie Is doing nails and feet?

You know And sin yum is doing Selling cutco knives or whatever ronnie was doing. I just think I would love to see You know red rover red rover sin Sharif right over and we will give you melissa jane I would love to see that a little bit more so that you could keep tabs on what How it's fully working out then you get the full transition

Can you go all the way over can you then? Now your uncle is a woman But can she do the uncle role does that make sense rally it does Do you have any trends in your family? I don't At least not that I know of right And it's a lot of hide-and-go-seek out there You know, I thought I've seen somebody with kind of a long posse before and I didn't know what it was, but You know

You know, you know, you're in your 20s and you just Hope god has a bigger plan for you. But anyway, man, um Yeah, that's what's going on out there. I do feel like The wind the feet the feminine gender is benefiting more from this because man, we're sending over some decent men We've sent over uh The olympian the decathlete cardascian uh

I don't know what that man's name is. You know his name. I don't We sent that man. So you got him now. He's warmed out. You got him. But who are we getting? You know, I'd love us if they would send us somebody You know send us, uh Um, oh that lady that played in Friday night lights, you know her name I don't Jesus christ, man. Not you. Jesus a different guy But uh

Never mind. I wish that they would send her over. Okay. We did it. We said a lot Um, let's get into these calls man a couple of calls, uh, that came in People that this is we had man calling and hit the hotline nine eight five six six four nine five Zero three talking about the first time they ever just really eject out of their body I want to tell you right now that dinner time can be chaotic That's right. But with freshly it's easy Their chefs take care of your meals a few nights a week and take the pressure off of you

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I gotta let you know what's a country you might visit man. If you ever could visit somewhere I would say germany. Okay. Would you ever go back to your homeland your family's homeland you think? Um, yeah, I'm here Sure, buddy what I'm telling you is about babble. Okay the number one selling language learning app From ordering in restaurants or asking for directions to gaining a deeper understanding of the culture babble Makes the whole process of learning a new language Addictively fun and easy. Do you speak any other languages riley a little japanese? Ooh in hawaiian hajime mas day. That's a little bit of japanese. I learned one time it is

It means our friendship begins Hajime mas day Actually, it doesn't really no Well, it did at some point, but Everything changes in this new modern society babbles 15 minute lessons make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go Unlike the infamous language classes you took in high school babble Designs their courses with practical real-world

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Do you find yourself learning more as you get older or did you feel like you did a lot of your learning as a youth? um Hey, i'm learning every day amen Amen, man I want to thank our callers that called in and offered up some of their stories. Let's get into a couple of them Right now. These are men and their first experiences with that first bust and rather this will all be kind of new to you But this will be a little bit of learning experience for you

So listen up Yo, what up, Theo? This is boy Beasley. God bless man. I'm down here in Fayetteville, Arkansas Beasley Welcome to the show Beasley And thank you for calling from over there in Fayetteville. I've been there. That's where bill clinton and his wife started doing that deal And uh, and it's a beautiful College town onward about first time we We let that love potion flow

Well, I grew up in spinole Arkansas and my buddy His name is chris. He's a bird watcher Uh, I bet he is dude I bet he is if this is the If he's in this story onward Uh, but anyways, I had an in-ground pool across the street So I was probably like sixth or seventh grade and I was by the uh by a side of the pool and that jet Was sitting that winky and uh, you know, I didn't even really know what was going on

And so finally, you know I just did that thing and I didn't even know what it was and so Uh, every day every day after that I want to go and swim, you know with the The across the street at the neighbor's pool and I would just sit there and sit there and sit there and finally the mother caught on to what was going on And uh, I never they never let me back over there again

And I mean she didn't tell anybody else what was going on, but she definitely knew what was going on So that was the first time that that ever happened. So That's just my story All right, man. Love you guys gang gang buzz buzz Gang gang, baby. Love you too, man. And I want to say this I would love it beastly if maybe we could even get that woman's number and see if you could give her a call and just clear the air You know, uh I feel like sometimes there needs to be some air cleared. I got uh

A man saw me masturbating myself In a little pool house In Atlanta one time when I was young and I'll never forget that man and really what his face looked like real quickly as he opened the door and saw me and then closed it back up That still hurts my heart a little but if I'd love to see him if I could You know, if I had time to search, you know, show people a picture of this man until we found him But but yeah, if you can get that lady's number, man, we'd love to get her and you on the line together and see if you can't Just bring all that to a close brother. You know, because I'm sure part of you still feels bad

You know masturbating into a into a their pool and And then not even and then never seen each other again. That's That's dice. You do that's almost deadbeat dad kind of shit. So let's hear more brother. Here's another one that came in Thank you Beasley. What do you think about what Beasley had to say there rally? Yeah, I mean I think he feels a little bad I can just hear it in his voice. Well, thank you. I can too actually I like that about you man. You're alert. You're right on the cusp of baby

Hey, Theo, uh You know, I just I just wanted to share with you a story about the first time that I ever You know Experimented with uh, you know getting that old semen out of me ejaculation brother Yes, sir. Tell me more You know what? I do agree with you. That should be on the periodic table of elements and uh Well, I was home alone and I was exploring, you know, it was around christmas time. I was looking in the closet

um in my parents closet looking for some, you know christmas presents, maybe some wrapping papers just to get a clue and uh See this little bottle and it said something about hot and cold on it And I squeezed some in my hand and it smelled good and it was slippery And I said, you know what? I'm gonna go out in the driveway and sit in that old pattern that's been sitting there for about You know three years so started uh started rubbing on myself and uh You know something came out of me

and uh, you know, I was probably about 13 years old and uh You know, it felt good. I did feel ashamed though because I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing that But I didn't know that was gonna happen. You know, it just felt good. So I did and You know, uh, I got that hitter as you told me to I got that hitter Dang baby. Yeah The fellow right there found a little special lotion in his folks room and he's out there pleasureing himself in a Saturn doing help Doing hand pleasure in a Saturn And I'm sure a lot of people have coomed out in a Saturn before I'm not shocked by that because they even had a discontinuum at some point

So What about school dances and stuff Riley when you went to that sort of thing was there any pressure to be sexually Active or creative in those environments. I'm not really then again. I only went to a couple school dances Was it any with like an actual girlfriend or was more like a setup date? Neither it was just with friends. Oh really just with the Amigo stag, huh? Man We got to get you out there All right, let's hear another one that came in right here. Thank you guys for these calls and for sharing this part of your life You know, I know it's a unique time in a man's life

You know when you really When you just start making those orphans, let's hear it Aco, it's rigged man. I'm calling uh listening To your latest episode and you're talking about uh one story about the first time you used to build the dumplings Amen ridge. Thank you for calling ridge. Amen Uh My first time did them lords middleman and it was in the bathtub And I was laying in there. I take long baths was about 12 years old and oh, yeah as a pervert baby onward

My little sister You know, we only had two kids in our house. So it was none of that but she had some Barbies and uh She had the Barbies laying out They had the smooth pelvis region, but you know, my imagination got the best of me and oh, yeah I spilled the dumplings and uh, and then from there on out. It was every night I was thinking about the neighbors black sisters and I felt guilty about that, but I've gotten past it But yeah, it was the Barbies in the bathtub man

All right gang gang gang. Maybe yeah. I mean look That's one thing too. It can promote diversity one thing. It's neat about jerking off or jerking yourself or spilling your body outside of yourself is that uh Is that you can fantasize about anyone and so it can create a lot of uh diversity in your brain You know, you can really I mean you could really pleasure yourself to someone from the 1800s 1600s You know, you could pleasure yourself to someone from damn, you know 1960s, whatever you want But they could be black. They could be v yet Chinese white

Asian German You know, they could be anything bra So there you go. All right. Let's hear one or two more. They came in onward Theo the first time I uh, this is david from Baltimore calling it the first time I pleasureed myself I uh, I actually didn't do it with my hands. This is a little weird But there was a hole in the back of this teddy bear sure that has happened to be one, uh That old trick That I had that I was when I was a kid

There was a hole like a hole in the back of it and I kind of you know Pressed inside it and kept going and then when Suddenly I got to the point that I ejaculated I um, I definitely was scared. I didn't know I grew up in a very Christian family Let me know whatever you know explained to me what seaman was really and so I really was scared that maybe I had hurt myself because it was the first fluid to come out of my body besides urine or feces or blood

That uh, just really kind of caught me off guard and yeah, baby that trick shot, you know That fourth fluid baby more and I definitely uh was nervous Yeah, I love you, man Love you too, brother. And yeah Oh, what do you think when you hear these guys, right? Do you think it's okay? Do you think they're wrong or do you feel like it's just what they're doing? What do you what's going on? um, I mean like I said, it's It's what they do if they want to do it. They want to do it. Yep. Can't stop them. Yep. Wish we could sometimes

Let's hear one more that came in here. Here we go Hey feel it's uh zander from indiana Uh, just zander. Thank you for calling and zander definitely sounds like somebody that's willing to Jack themselves out a little you know get all eject up. Let's hear more about me It's giving you a call listening to the podcast. He said you want to hear about that first time eject story. Anyway, uh I was in the eighth grade so it must have been about 12 13. Oh, yeah And I went on a ski trip for the class trip and I went off a big jump and I landed on my back and I messed it up, but uh

when I got home my mom was Telling me to ice it and whatnot and she brought out the uh back massager You know, I was in my bedroom with that back massager and uh You know, I put it on my penis and uh a few seconds later, you know, I I creamed out brother Did that admission? Anyway, I didn't know what happened So I went to my older brother who was about two years older than me and I showed him. I was like, dude

What is this that came out of me? He looked at me go throw those in the garbage and don't ever tell anyone That you did that again. So I was scared. I was like, man What was that? Anyway, I spent the next couple months Scared to death to lose any and I thought that uh, if I if I did it too much that I would run out Oh, and uh, I didn't figure out that your body just keep pumping that shit out until I was about 16 17 so I'm that uh that private school late learner, bro Anyway, have a blessed roster your week gang gang, baby

gang, baby, huh That he would run out. That's interesting, huh? Yeah, that he would run out that he that there wouldn't be more his brother said don't tell anybody go hide it The other kid's making love to a bear. I mean This is why we are the society we are I think this is why We don't know no one knows it. There's no education. People are making love to hold out bears Um, people are screwing pool jets Uh, you know, it there's just

For all the information we have the fact that we don't share it to one another Blows my damn nuts out Oh Well, that's some of them right there man, I remember I'll share a few with you rally a couple of my own experiences You know, I remember I was in love with this gal and She was pretty good looking. You know, she was probably six out of 10, which was good for me You know, it was good for me. She was a real little thicky bear And she had real soft teddy. I remember that

And I was over at their house one time and we were sitting back by this river They had like a river out back or like a creek or something And she uh, jay owed me out into the stream, you know, she gave me a handy or whatever they call it You know, just a wrist just wrist and me out into this little stream and I didn't know I'd never like I'd never just you know pervade semen out of my body near uh, uh Uh anybody else. No one had ever else had seen me do this kind of magic this body magic

And so next thing you know, I eject out into the stream and uh, these fish swim up and literally just start consuming it And so I'm like having dreams That I'm gonna have like fish that look like me in our area You know, so I was always embarrassed to go fishing after that because I think I always felt like somehow they would know Like somebody would pull a fish out of the water and they would hear it You know, like then the idea would come into their head because the the the truth would be in the fish So shit like that'll really can really mess a child up, dude, you know, it can really

It can really mess a child up, but Raleigh, what else man anything else we want to tell people or talk about? I got a free hot dog from daddy's dogs. Oh, you did I did. Oh, wow. And how they How how how did you get that? Uh, I was just walking around with a few friends and uh Someone who was working on working out the And the cart was like Riley Mao and I was like, hey man, what's up? He was like, dude, love you on the podcast So he gave me a free hot dog. Really? Yeah, shout out to daddy's dogs. Damn daddy's dogs hooking people up with uh Hooking Riley up at that nice treat. Was it a good dog? It was

Yeah, I love a good dog, man I love some places. I can't eat them some places. I can't eat them Were you guys just walking down the street? Yeah. Amen, brother Yeah, I love a good dog, man What do you put on yours? Um, anything onions mushrooms Watch it mustard relish. Really? Yeah, anything Damn

Yeah, I like mine. I think I like First I get the dog and the bun Then I like to make a little space between the dog and the bun. I like to put ketchup on one side Mustard on the other Then I'll go at a relish out that packet doesn't taste great, but I like what it does And that's how I'll do mine, you know, and I really like to have a diet coke with it if I can I really like having that diet coke feeling hit my face after I have the dog After I have that dog hit my face, I like having that diet coke

You prefer a certain beverage with them? Um, either a lemonade or Dr. Pepper. Oh, lemonade. Okay. I like that Hey P.O. It's Cole. I'm San Diego, man I've been appreciating the kind of guests you have on recently on this past weekend And especially the one with Mario Gutierrez the jockey went down to Del Mar racetrack today and actually got to see him walk off the track and Called him by name and said I appreciated the podcast and I really enjoyed hearing what he had to say and

he actually said thank you and recognized that I Shattered him out. So I appreciate it man. It was a good podcast and I bet the money on him and won about 60 bucks So I appreciate it. You know keep doing what you're doing. I know we all appreciate it Gang baby, thank you. Yeah, if you haven't seen that episode It's the jockey episode One of the job episodes and it's Mario Gutierrez and man That was one of my favorite conversations just learning about Everything about what it's like to be a jockey

And learning about his trials and coming from another country Um into into this oppressed horrible place of America And being able to live out his dreams, you know, I mean, how does anybody even do it? You know, how does anybody even do it? Um I just there but uh, but no, it's a great story and he and he's just uh Man, you just you love him, you know And you love the way that he communicates and then yeah, it gives us somebody to bet on next time you go to the horse track

If you're over there Santa Anita, uh, or I'm not sure some of the other ones he's at But yeah down towards San Diego. I'm not to get out there and go see him I'm gonna hit him up soon and get out there and go see him But that's the jockey episode Mario Gutierrez and check that one out And I want to thank everybody just for supporting the podcast man and being a part of things here Riley. I want to thank you Thank you for being on the part of the episode today and for sharing part of your life with us and Yeah, man, it's interesting dude Yeah, thanks for having me on

You betcha All right. This is a song every night by Jameson flood and this song is with us early in the pod and it's with us here today You guys be good to yourselves Uh, you deserve it gang