This Past Weekend - E354 Jeff Wittek

Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's guest is a Barber turned criminal turned Entrepreneur and I he was kind of turning Keeping all those plates turning at the same time He's a YouTube personality. He's an entertainer He's fascinating to me and I'm really grateful to have him in here today to learn more about him and to spend some time Mr. Jeff Whittock

Starting point is 00:00:57 What kind of fitness do you like to do honestly? I do it all I do a little bit of everything I'll just make something up. I'll fucking run through this wall right now. It's a pretty sturdy wall Test it out. Yeah, I bet it would take you probably 70 reps To blaster that wall. Yeah, I would give it one shot And I'd give up after that if I didn't make it through. Oh, so you're not doing it for fitness. You're doing it for more Acclaim almost or like conquering Yeah training for life. You never know what's gonna come at you, you know, oh, dude, definitely, dude

Starting point is 00:01:38 You never know if anybody's gonna show up and they're just gonna be Covered in drywall and you got a different You know it could happen man You never know when you got a fistfighter contract your dog and he wants to pull out all the stuff That's right. You gotta be prepared for drywall. Oh, you never know man and drywall is a gateway drug, man I've always said that if somebody's doing drywall It's not long till they're doing

Starting point is 00:02:00 Pills usually or something some kind of uppers you ever noticed that over time. I mean, I don't think I'd have a problem with it You know I'm clean now. The only thing I miss with is sparkling water. Yeah sparkling water and drywall Yeah, you go if I pop open this liquid death crack it open man. Let's die together Yeah feels good, huh? Yeah cheers brother Cheers man. Nice to meet you, bro. Nice to meet you, too. I've seen your work Big fan. I've seen your stand-up. I saw that one time you did stand up on mushrooms. Oh, yeah, yeah Yeah, that was Joey Diaz started all of that because that was that's the thing about Joey Diaz. He's basically

Starting point is 00:02:39 He's almost like if they had construct if they had a construction worker video game Yeah, and you had to get to the end and fight the big boss. That's got all the drugs all the drywall Yeah, he's all the good plumbing all the everything, you know tremendous He's an interesting character, man He reminds me a lot of guys from my hometown because I grew up over there in New York, New Jersey area Oh, yeah, so I'm used to guys like that coming in the barbershop and just fucking bat shit crazy Some real legends. I bet I bet you've met a lot of and I'm sitting here with Jeff Whittock Yeah, and I just so our audience knows and he is a YouTube personality

Starting point is 00:03:16 entertainer I Would say kind of an artist kind of I'm trying to think of how I would How I see you I don't know man I kind of feel like I'm in the same realm as you but like I'm I feel like I'm the same age as you too Sometimes I just wake up and I feel like I'm fucking not saying that you're that much older than me Yeah, but you feel older. I feel older. Yeah, I feel like I'm fucking a thousand years old sometimes Do you like this week has just been one of those weeks? Yeah, what is it?

Starting point is 00:03:47 Like you feel like in your spirit or do you feel like in your body you mean or like in your Emotions like what do you feel like I've lived like like a thousand different lives. Yeah, yeah, you know, that's a great thing I would say about you. Yes, you seem like you lived a thousand lives, man. You see Yeah, there's like I feel like there's a lot of different facets that that people could learn about you and Like a bar like obviously you barb, yeah I was a barber for years working in a barber shop in in New Jersey where you're in New York Staten Island, so it's kind of like the New Jersey of New York. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly Yeah, it's one of the five boroughs, but it gets left out. It's left behind and it kind of looks like New Jersey, so

Starting point is 00:04:28 God dude always wanted to be from New Jersey, man. Oh, yeah Yeah, because it's kind of like New Orleans, but in the Northeast, I think yeah And people talk a little bit the same sometimes like way. Yeah, kind of like mm-hmm Cuz you like people from New Orleans a lot of time their accent Especially women kind of thicker women will get their accent will get mistaken for New Jersey Just real lazy just lazy the way you pronounce your eyes. Yeah, you know, well, yeah coffee or water the all in yeah, um And it just seems as always so there's so many great movies kind of made about that area where you get to see like I

Starting point is 00:05:05 Think there's a lot of romanticizing it feels like coming up in that area like a lot of Does it feel like that not for me No, I wanted to get the hell out of there that the second I was old enough to leave I left at 18 I moved down to Miami Beach and that's where the romanticizing started for me But I was drunk all those years. I don't remember any of it. Oh, you drank a lot coming up heavily. Yeah, and I really like your stuff I like how you mix in the sobriety talk and you talk about your own stuff. You're very vulnerable Yeah, because I you know when I got into this game I was like, I'm just gonna fuck around and make funny videos. Yeah

Starting point is 00:05:41 I never thought to myself like I would be getting vulnerable I talked to your producer and he said that he watched the documentary. So he'd seen me cry already So it's odd for to meet a man. That's a stranger. Yeah, and he had already seen me cry So I'm still getting used to stuff like that, but seeing you do it. It's cool You know, it gives me hope like something to look forward to in the future, you know, thanks, man Well, it's nice you to say that. I mean, I mean, I think you seem like a really sincere guy Was it all were you always that way or is it are you finding now? Because it seems like here's what it seemed like to me when I watch your stuff that you've done kind of everything

Starting point is 00:06:17 it seems like you're this This being you're almost like this attack barber. That's what I felt like a little bit not in a bad way Have you seen the barbershop shirt? Do you watch the podcast? Yes? Okay, but but I saw What did I see the? Well, I saw the one vlog to about this like your history your life that kind of like sums up It's just like a little bit of everything. Okay, so you got a really cute seeing your parents But you I'm just I was trying to piece together. Okay, who is this guy, you know, what is his it seemed like you've done everything Are you wanted to do everything? Yeah, I wake up some days. I don't even know. I'm like, what am I doing all this for?

Starting point is 00:06:51 Yeah, now I'm doing so much. I'm doing two different shows I know I see you do a lot of shows too, but I'm sure you probably go through it too You wake up some days and you just like fuck one of my what am I gonna talk about today? Oh, dude Yeah, the past 100 episodes I feel like yeah has really been like that like sometimes I don't know and then I don't know what people want to hear anymore And I feel like I used to be kind of connected to that like I was in the in this pocket and then the pocket just I Don't know it got either

Starting point is 00:07:19 The pocket disappeared or I disappeared or something the connection wasn't there sometimes Yeah, but you can't stop because these people look at they look to you for more than just you know some laughs Yeah, you know, you keep these people going. I'm sure you've got people sober, you know that are relying on you now Yeah, I think there's probably some people that are definitely fired, you know, they're excited, you know, that you're in the but also makes it Are you sober? Well, I'm mixing in all kinds of stuff. So right now. I won't right now. I'm taking I'm on my fourth step You're just going to a meetings for fun. No, I got like 70 tryouts drive a set I got like 70 something days. I'm going and I'm doing a fourth step right now. Okay, so that's where I'm at

Starting point is 00:07:56 I I fell off. Let me see a couple months ago and I tried ketamine therapy. I tried that. Okay to see Just to help me with like just like stuff from growing up or just whatever to try it out Mm-hmm because I was off the wagon I was like might as well try this ketamine therapy while I'm out here You don't tell them that in AA, right? Um, no, I'll tell like my sponsors or whoever asks But I try to always go to meetings

Starting point is 00:08:22 So I'm not like falling out of like the practice of it. I've never had a canned Flat water. That's kind of new to me. I'm used to sparkling in the can Really? That's nice. You ever see those boxes of water? It's like a milk carton Yeah, it makes me sad. Yeah I know it's like a funeral. It's like a coffin for a water. Yeah, it's nice for the environment. It's cool I can respect that but just you feel like you taste like a little linger in a milk You know like it used to be used as a milk carton and now they just put water in it Yeah, it seemed a little repurposed slap a label on it put Will Smith's son as the face of it or something like that

Starting point is 00:09:00 And then all of a sudden, you know, yeah, but liquid death I could get behind this is a sparkling one, right? You brought this one out for me. Yeah, I appreciate it. I'm gonna crack this one. Nick got you Yeah, we get that. No disrespect. No, I put it right into your veins, dude This just got me. This is what got me off the booze right here. Really? I'll have 17 of these a day Like lacroix I've been drinking but fuck lacroix cuz I've been trying to get sponsored by them Mm-hmm, and they won't do it. No, no bite. I hit them up. They hit me right back in a day liquid death. Mm-hmm Yeah, oh, they're ready, dude. They're right. They're gonna die with podcasting man They're like, we're gonna spend all of our money on podcasting and go out. That's the way to do it

Starting point is 00:09:36 Like it's watching TV. We're gonna pay for commercials Yeah, I can't imagine that. I mean the money that's also that goes into commercials and stuff like that is pretty hilarious Yeah, you know, do you have it? Do you have cable? I don't I have Hulu So that is cable. Yeah, I guess yeah I'm telling you even have time to watch stuff at this point you're doing with three podcasts a day Shit, I wish I'm doing two podcasts a week. Actually, I don't wish I'm okay with what I'm doing. Yeah It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's fine. It's great man. It's great. That's what I got to remember all the time It's like, this is a great job, you know

Starting point is 00:10:09 It's fun to be able to think out loud and let people be there sometimes with you to hear you think you see a therapist Yeah, I got a new woman. I'm starting with them Friday. You look like a therapist, dude Is it the glasses you want me to take them off? I can take them off if that's let me see if you still look like one. I Mean put them back on. Okay, and I look like a fucking New York barber now I don't put up with the specs back on. It's crazy. What one little fucking detail can change, huh? They be a barber at a library, you know, come over here in a periodicals enough frickin. It's your show You would you rather me like this? I like them. Yeah. Yeah, I like them. They look nice, dude So you went so you started off in New Jersey. You were barbering you got into drugs on the side

Starting point is 00:10:50 It seemed like you were just doing anything. It was I mean everybody got into drugs on the side over in New Jersey Yeah, and you guys did wrestling. I know everybody. I know a guy built a wrestling ring in his back Yeah, I didn't do no wrestling, but you everybody loves it in New Jersey all the kids do it like WWE wrestling. Yeah, okay People love that bond Jovi. Did you do your research like fucking with like a Nard War, huh? Cuz if you're going back to my childhood, yeah, like I had wrestlers, but nobody knows that about me I don't I'd never shared that online. Oh, I didn't I'm not getting this from online I'm getting this from thousands of people I met from New Jersey. You guys like wrestling bond Jovi y'all's moms

Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah, family what else That's all I know really ball spaghetti. Oh, yeah, all that kind of stuff Good food things you could pick up with your hand and fucking putting your mouth. Yeah, I eat fucking everything with my hands Yeah, works people love that. Yeah, thanks to I just eat a steak on my hands. Oh, you got these fucking wrist forks, dog You're right, but yeah, I think those are things that I just kind of generalize about New Jersey that are pretty safe Listen to Joey Diaz will give you a good idea about a lot of stuff from New Jersey in that area Um, New York, but as New York, you know so much first from watching movies and stuff You get such an idea of New York. I think I just wonder like what made you like

Starting point is 00:12:06 What do you think was like the fire inside of you that made you like want to become or made you already a Personality that ended up on YouTube If you think back on it, I don't know I think it's just where where life went, you know, like initially I thought, you know Let's move out here and make something in the entertainment business I didn't know if I wanted to do stand-up and stuff like that because I had a little nerves to do stand-up And that's why when I the first thing I saw of yours was when you did stand up on mushrooms and I was like First of all when I do mushrooms, I want everybody around me to be on mushrooms, too

Starting point is 00:12:38 That's that's how I like to because I don't want people on it on a different wavelength Not not that it's fucking like see how he just came in here and I'm like what the fuck's this guy doing over here That's like somebody when you're on mushrooms and somebody is yeah, that would be an enemy, you know So you went up on stage to do stand-up when pretty much there were all enemies until you get a laugh out of them Yeah, you know, so that's fucking ballsy. I saw this guy went up there. He has a mullet He's fucking on mushrooms He went out there and said it like I'm on mushrooms and you stare death in the face and you were just like fuck this I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking kill this shit. Yeah, so I've been a fan man. I've been thanks, bro

Starting point is 00:13:12 You know, I've been watching you guys his stuff Thanks, man. Yeah, that was that was exciting bother you that everybody has mullets now No, I think the part that bother like it not bother me, but like I Think it's awesome, dude. I think it's a confidence piece. I feel like I have a big nose So it also rounds out my face. It gives me a more heroic style Yeah, if you show up on a horse or even on a fucking bike like I said that's painted brown chicks are like damn Who the fuck is that you know a bike that's painted brown? I feel like if you come like I Feel like you just it gives you more. It gives me more bravado

Starting point is 00:13:49 Dude sitting there with a cold-ass neck like some little fucking twink. That's all cool. You're gonna count on a bus stop Yeah, fuck that feeling the sunrise on your neck. Yeah, some freaking busted out Twink dude. I ain't doing like I like I woke up today like this whole week I've been in like a little bit of a funk. I haven't been feeling a hundred percent But having the mullet you wake up and you look in the mirror and you're like, I'm a I'm a goddamn Entertainer. Yeah, you know, there's something going on here. Yeah, and I did this I did this cut because I was going to skydiving school. I was gonna learn to get Certified skydiving and I was like, I just need a fucking wild haircut

Starting point is 00:14:26 Just to jump out of the plane and fucking take the pictures and you want the hair in the back Yeah, a little extra parachute maybe help with the velocity coming down. Yeah, baby And after that I just rocked with it because it just it put me in that mentality every time I wake up I'm like, all right, I'm not a regular guy. I got a fucking yeah, I'm a skydiver. I got a goddamn mullet Yeah, I need entertain Whatever it takes. Yeah, what am I gonna do? You know, this is not for me anymore. This is for the people. I like that Do you really start to feel like that over time because I wonder like the pressures and stuff that it that That whole and I don't want to put you in like a YouTube world because I kind of separate what you do

Starting point is 00:15:06 Put you in that world too. Yeah, you know We're but you're but you're also a human but that's where everything ends up at so like I mean your your YouTube career is probably launching the rest of your careers and keeping you Or allowing you to make so much more money. Yeah, your fan base. So technically your main income is YouTube right now Yeah, I'm a YouTube and cashing you out. They're not paying us that much But they're good. They're a good separate But I'm sure touring was initially like your you know, number one, right priority top payday

Starting point is 00:15:41 And now it's all this other stuff you're doing on YouTube. So you're a YouTuber too, bro. No offense. Nope. I don't take it personal You know, yeah, call me you. Yeah, I guess I am the Yovon the youtuber Damn, you know, I know it. You went from having that comedian title to fucking I'm gonna change your Wikipedia People on it the Yovon fucking My friend Rob knows how to change people's Wikipedia is on the spot and make it be that. Oh, yeah Yeah, I got to call him up But I don't work at what that was friend does or something in any game some little cheat code Damn, that's nice to have somebody at Wikipedia. You just put whatever you want up there

Starting point is 00:16:16 I work at SpaceX, you know, like I I'm a fucking investor in Uber or something You know, yeah, all types of flexes on there. You never need to buy a watch. Yeah, you know, just have your Wikipedia stacked Yeah That's a great call. Yeah, if you know somebody at Wikipedia is based you could say you went to all these colleges Yeah, you have all this cash You got Rob over there. Yeah, I gotta hit him on the slap Harvard on my fucking resume You know what let me see what I take all my arrests off, you know, I've never been arrested this guy was squeaky clean He's got a fucking perfect record. Let me see what I can do man

Starting point is 00:16:53 but do you feel like at a certain point like um, Does does it kind of top out where you guys are doing so many feets and trying to do so much wild stuff Was there a point you realize I don't have that neck like there's a level in me that I don't have like a stevo or like I never had that. I never wanted to do any of that shit. I'm just a team player, you know, I was I'm with this crew these are all my friends and we all collaborate. We work together It's kind of like what you guys got with like your whole comedian podcast and crew that kind of blew up over the past couple years Yeah, we had that where we just collaborate not for money It's just you know, we like making videos together and we will help each other out

Starting point is 00:17:27 we all work together well because we do it all the time and You know, we hit that pandemic where nobody filmed for a while and my friend wanted to make this big comeback video and he suggested something And I was like fuck it. Yeah, what's the hardest one? I'll take that, you know, just to be a fucking team player in there Yeah, and then the mullet and then the fucking, you know, the way you feel after jumping out of a plane 25 times you just feel like I'm a goddamn superhero. How it came in your heart. I was gonna run through your wall Yeah, I had that but 25 times. Oh, yeah worse, you know Yeah, so then another little fucking thing pops up and it's like, oh, I'll fucking do that. What's the worst that could happen? I'm not flying out of a plane, you know, yeah, and then yeah a year later your fucking face is smashed up

Starting point is 00:18:11 You know podcast another guy with a mullet This is the downhill of it No, this is good. I'm saying in a good way. You do a podcast or another another youtuber. I appreciate you coming in man It's an honor. I'm a big fan. Well, thanks, man That's nice you to say that dude and I would love to have you cut my hair sometime Yeah, no, I do mullets. I do my own So you do your own. It's an easy cut. Yeah, you could probably do your own But I would love to get you on my show

Starting point is 00:18:40 I would love to come on a and be I did my own for years before I had hair hair like this Yeah, and I knew that I did well. This is harder to manage. I think you got no grazing there. Nothing, huh? I got some man. I'd die I'm out a little. Oh, do you yeah right in here looks good. Thanks, man I appreciate it stress-free life. Yeah, kind of I'm just hiding the stress free behind die. Are you? Just on here on the side. Yeah, it's a little dice behind the mask. Yeah, sometimes I'll put it a little in here When you're not so if you're having a week that you feel like kind of bad or down or whatever Do you ever notice where it comes from? Because I mean I could tell a little bit on your face You came in it was maybe a little bit of just like not exhaustion

Starting point is 00:19:20 But that was traffic in just New York frustration in me still in you. Yeah, that doesn't go traffic never leaves Oh, no, I talked to my father and he's just like god damn it He's cursing at the cars on the street and it's just I don't know why that bothers us so much, you know, yeah But yeah, I know I came in a little there's a little off, you know, you know, you're great Charming nice affable, but I just felt like oh, he seems like maybe it's your energy feel like when you when you said also It's been like kind of a funk week I think maybe the pieces in your head in my head mirror like oh, maybe that's what I was thinking about Here's a question right here from somebody

Starting point is 00:19:58 Hey Jeff, I'm a huge fan My name is Mitch. I'm from New Zealand. I was just curious to know What do you class is being successful? Let me know gang gang gang baby damn, that's beautiful. Thank you very much Jeff from New Zealand You want to take that one or should I you? Man success I think just maintaining a level of happiness is successful But I was in the box and gym earlier and I was doing sit-ups at the end of my workout and I looked up and there was like You know, I have quotes all over these box and gyms. Yeah, it said I forget the fucking quote exactly, but it was like success is

Starting point is 00:20:40 Consistent effort and Over a long period of time or something like that That's how you get I guess that's like getting results and like and like a combat sport or something like that But I guess that can still translate over into everyday life, you know consistent effort over time yeah, and Like we do that with multiple things like the hardest part about podcasting is probably staying consistent just getting in here getting it done You know like getting doing your workouts just getting into the gym is the hardest part Yeah, that's a good point going to work finish in the day without telling your boss to go fuck himself, you know, yeah

Starting point is 00:21:15 That's did you find the quote that was John Wooden's definition of success that became pretty famous Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of sass vet self-satisfaction And knowing you made the effort to become the best you were capable of becoming I think that's I think that might be the quote I just butchered it so bad, but I wasn't planning on talking about it, you know I was just noted it a lot because your thing had three or four words, but that's okay Mm-hmm Yeah, but do you feel like so I sometimes because sometimes when I wonder about you I wonder well What is there a level of achievement or what is like a driving force because it's something I wonder about myself?

Starting point is 00:21:56 Yeah, I just wanted to get a blue check on Instagram when I was like, I'll be good with that once I get that You know, maybe that gold plaque on her like the YouTube when you get a million subscribers like that would be like an accomplishment That I'd be like, okay. I made it right, but it never goes away. It's never gonna go away I don't think it ever will and you too, you know, where do you think it comes from and what do you think that is that thing? Cuz that's what's kind of fascinating to me. Yeah, it's odd, huh? Like what are we chasing? You know like what do you do you set a goal of money in your bank account that is gonna make you happy and then what money? Can't be it. There's no way that money's it

Starting point is 00:22:29 No, cuz then you just get all the money and then you're like sitting around what the fuck do I do? I guess I'll just get high on drugs. I'll just do fucking ketamine therapy like I'm not saying that's that's bad It might have worked for you, but like we just always have like I don't know I need to stay busy in order to not like fall into the stresses of everyday life. Yeah, you know So money is not it because if I reach that Goal and then I don't have to work anymore than I don't know. I don't see that as like Success or happiness. I don't know. I think you got to stay pushing for life like like that whole thing like do a little bit of everything every day consistently if it's working out if it's

Starting point is 00:23:07 Podcasts and you're working on other shows or you have you do jiu-jitsu, right? Yeah So you're building up in that you're just better than yourself and a bunch of different things Each day then if you have a shitty day at jiu-jitsu, maybe you had a good podcast that day, you know You got something productively, right? There you go That's so that's one thing that doing something that makes you feel some sort of achievement Showing up like making my bed right when I get up is always a good one for me It's like, okay. I started I have one thing done, you know, even if even if that's the only thing I'll even get done today. Everything else I might fuddle through at least I started off with one thing, right?

Starting point is 00:23:44 Yeah, but sometimes it's interesting because I'll look at Like a family this morning I went to the smoothie shop And there's a family out there and there's like some they're singing a song rain go away or something's raining for a minute And they're like there was like this to a man or a husband or could have been a lesbian couple, but one of them was real Well, you know trying to be a man and then they had two children. They were having like a sweet time and I was like, oh, that's You know, whatever I'm standing here with things bouncing in my head and worrying about this that that's success Like I think sometimes you see it in little just having a Significant other or having me. I don't know. It was like some piece of happiness that I witnessed for a minute

Starting point is 00:24:28 These people didn't know that I was looking at them. Mm-hmm. So I don't know sometimes I like it's like I Don't know. I'm just trying to look at what the idea of success is, you know, maybe we got to have kids You got a dog or anything. I don't I got us any responsibilities of other lives The stuffed animals not alive, but it's like, um, you know, it's from a store. I mean, it's good. It's nice I got a French bulldog. He's are you do? Yeah, he's 15 years old. He's the oldest French boy I looked it up yesterday. He's the oldest French bulldog in the world and he's off the books I got him under the tables. I don't have any paperwork for him. Oh, yeah, of course I can't get there you go. That's the most

Starting point is 00:25:06 I got him when he was four years old and I got no papers for him So I maybe I get him like a plaque if he had if I had his records I could get him that Guinness plaque and maybe that'd be like a fucking accomplishment for him where he's like I made it, you know, maybe he feels that what we're we're searching for but since he's all since he's got no papers He's fucking we can't even get him that plaque. We'll never get the documentation on people don't know I gotta get him a Wikipedia and then I'll get that fucking Documentation he could have come over on the uh, maybe he came over on one of those ships, you know, it's it's insane I don't do any like special stuff. I feed him regular food from Ralph's, you know

Starting point is 00:25:41 Just I don't do anything special. Where would he work if he worked you when you look at him and you get to know his personality Yeah Who do you remind you of like a night manager at a kind of reminds me of like a Who's that guy that just bought the heavyweight and UFC Derek Lewis? Oh, really? He throws those shots Yeah, the big overhand rights. Yeah, he kind of does that when he walks around when he struts around Okay, and he's got that build like that. He's I think he would be a UFC top contender if he's this pro That's the best years are behind him now because he's 15, but he was fucking an athlete when he was young was he yeah Now he's slowing down. Yeah

Starting point is 00:26:19 Can you give dogs HGH the you look that up it is human growth hormone, so The DGH we would need a dog growth hormone. You need something. Yeah, I would think get get dog specific I'm sure you could get him on a upper at least to get it to get his wind intake stronger Look up what Mark Wahlberg's dogs look like or something like probably the rocks dog is probably jacked You know, he's probably got him on some of that stuff. Dude. I'd pump him with a little bit of nitrous not every night, but occasionally Nitrous just something I mean whip it. I think if you give him more intake in the air That's what's gonna fuel a dog. The dog is a small unit. I mean, it's basically a fucking little modem if you did Can you do whip bits? Is that do you consider sober if you know, right?

Starting point is 00:27:02 Cuz I don't think so just air. I don't think so. I mean Here's the thing that's interesting about sobriety man, and I meet some people who will say that they're sober They've been off of cocaine for That's like Joey Diaz me sober from cocaine, you know, I'm sober from alcohol Yeah, I say sober all the time and I smoke weed if a fucking if somebody offered me fucking Mushrooms or something. I was in the right mood, you know, I would might do them But I say sober just because the only thing I've ever had a problem with was alcohol. Really? Yeah I never got into anything cocaine none of that shit. I never really liked it, you know

Starting point is 00:27:36 But I grew up seeing my my parents my dad. They see you're always now. They didn't do drink not that I know if they might have been you know, but yeah I would always see my dad would a beer every day around fucking like three o'clock, you know, he poured in a glass. Oh You know romantic like that's his happiness, you know Yeah, he did not he didn't have a problem with it, but I think I just have a much more addictive personality So you yeah for sure. I go fucking I'll eat a whole bag of sunflower seeds fucking You know at night. I'll destroy a whole you know box of candy. This is heartless, huh? Yeah, it's bad. That's that's my problem. That's my problem is candy. That's my new addiction and LaCroix are fucking liquid deaths now

Starting point is 00:28:18 I'm gonna stop saying that. What are you doing with the candy? What kind of you doing nerd ropes? I mean, what are you doing? I don't know. It depends. It depends if I'm smoking weed if I'm smoking weed I'd be into all that shit nerd ropes Twizzlers Skittles even the sour ones you fucking wake up in the morning your mouth is all torn up. What did I do last night? We used to do that thing We would put one in each cheek a spree and each cheek and go to sleep Oh, that sounds like torture and just see if God wanted us to be alive

Starting point is 00:28:44 Yeah, because we didn't know you know and my brother and I would do it and he would fucking take his out I knew it was basically man at that point. He's seeing if I'm gonna die. You know what I'm saying? That's crazy in his head. Yeah, and he's gonna take his out because I was the younger brother, you know So I'd sit there dude and just wake up and just like Orange out of this baby the family my bra. I got two younger sisters, but we don't yeah, you're gonna smell They didn't really be count. Yeah youngest male. Okay, and then I got purple out of this side, dude Just spree just come on. Oh, yeah, bro. Yeah, it looks like yo Dean. Oh, it's a horrible prank It looked like a gay vampire that it overdosed. I was not doing real well

Starting point is 00:29:22 We got a question that came in right here for you We got a lot of people really love you man a lot of great questions came I posted a picture I tried to share it, but I posted the wrong picture. I guess it was an edit of you Yeah, I wanted to help you out with these questions because I do stuff like this with my patreon people Yeah face times I do one-on-one face times and those are interesting some days when I'm having a bad day I just talked to them. Oh, wow and that fucking actually changes my whole mood. That's a good one You should do stuff like that because you're it is a lot of life experience, too I feel like you kind of have the same thing going on like you've lived a bunch of lives

Starting point is 00:29:53 Yeah, so we're really got a lot in common. It's not just the hair you and I yeah, and the Wikipedia page Fascination. Yeah. All right. How's it going guys? Whoa, hold on Okay, just wanted to be ready for this. That's a lot of voice in a person Yeah, that's a lot of man in it intentionally. I Don't know. I mean he's close to this power line. See this is a man You know I'm saying I would be probably 200 feet from those power lines to even make my video This guy is definitely this guy could probably grow apple. This guy probably grown apples out of his throat If he wants to I bet dude this dude could spit an orchard if he wants fucking apple tree growing out of his stomach

Starting point is 00:30:34 Oh his Adam's apple alone. Probably I bet it's two pounds Hey, how's it going guys? Question for both Theo and Jeff as we know both you have dabbled in the dark arts before So what what is your guys is each like motivational factor that led you to to change? All right, that's my question. Love you guys both Sure, the cast will be great gang gang, baby Hell yeah, bro gang gang gang baby. What you got there Jeffrey? Um fucking what was the question again motivation if you dabble in the dark arts drugs alcohol sexual deviance

Starting point is 00:31:10 Well, I was like I think I was around like 28 and I'm like what the hell am I doing my life? I'm kind of half-assed and everything. I'm half-assed in drug dealing. I'm half-assed in social media It's a kind of a weird career to merge It's like if I was a rapper and I sold crack before cool That's normal, but like if you're a youtuber that fucking sold drugs before it's a little weird to get people to understand But right I could see that I guess if I just explain it like that like I'm like 50 cent of the fucking YouTube game You know right gang. Yeah, I should be dead, but I'm still here. Yeah, I sold drugs before I'm doing this shit now Oh, I like it, but um

Starting point is 00:31:43 How I how I got sober how I fucking got sober of alcohol. I was like I Need to take one of these things serious and give it a hundred percent because you can't half-ass cell weed You know, you got to collect money people don't want to fucking send you money if you're acting like a clown on the internet You know like who who's this guy right? I'm not paying him crying in his videos on YouTube. I'm not fucking paying that guy Well, I'm gonna get paid, but yeah, do you cry a lot? I mean, I've definitely probably teared up actually some of the seasonal I think I've actually seen you cry too before some of the season deal. It's not that memorable. That's me. That's what I thought I was like send Theo question going on his podcast tomorrow. I had the wrong guy That's not at all you not even know is your relative maybe I mean

Starting point is 00:32:27 I when brother long-lost evil twin in college dude minus the tats and a lot of the uh, I Have the same shirt Is this like a fan This gentleman, I believe lives in Indiana and we've communicated. Oh, this is a real person. There's a real man Yeah, there's a real so I got just got the wrong guy. I got the wrong guy great guy I've heard he's a really nice guy and he's jacking if we want I'm not gonna say as HH But if we want HGH, he's the guy to call. I bet we could probably squeeze a pair of his underpants I guess the rocks tattoo over there. Oh, we might inspiration. You know, it's a unique online service. That's offered by blue chew

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Starting point is 00:35:02 That's right with the Peloton bike. There's nothing like working out from home learn more at one Peloton One Peloton calm new members can try Peloton classes for free for 30 days at one Peloton calm slash app terms apply. That's o-n-e P-e-l-o-t-o-n Dot-com but back to what I was saying that guy's question. So I had to take it Serious, you know, you can't half-ass both things. So I was like Waking up hungover and then you have to get to filming and stuff like that And you don't have your confidence that you had at the night before with your five asshole friends

Starting point is 00:35:40 And yet I was fucking killing it. I was on fire because I had the confidence of the booze But then it just it it levels out in the morning and you're fucking down and now it's time to entertain The masses you're talking 100,000 million. Who knows and yeah, you have a huge channel What's more important fucking Steve and Kyle and fucking whoever at the bar donnie. Yeah Those assholes don't even remember because they were wasted too. Yeah, and they didn't have anything to do really the next morning Maybe or whatever, but they didn't have to do this the next morning. No, no, so yeah, you need to be Confident and look now that that shit fades because sometimes I wake up not feeling confident still to this day You know, okay, so then what's the difference because this is interesting for me too, man

Starting point is 00:36:23 Even hearing you talk about this because I can totally relate to that like having the confidence the night before if you've been drinking Or out having fun with your buddies, but then suddenly You know, it's just that thing is missing in the morning and you're like damn. Yeah, it's hard to just get it Yeah, just go for a good run. Maybe have a black coffee go for a good run. Oh a good run helps, huh? Push yourself. Yeah, you know overcome something. That's mentally tough And then I don't know maybe you just hit the reset button But yeah after you stop drinking for a while you lose that like Like damn this feels great waking up fucking sober, you know, but they like it fades you gotta find new ways to

Starting point is 00:37:04 To you know, get that feeling of like just freshness in the morning fresh and ready to go you wake up happy Maybe you stop jerking off or you know, yeah, no sex Maybe lay off the candy at night Yeah, but then but then you start to get to the part where it's like, well, what do you have you do anything? You know, I bought a vape last week and did freaking Half a thing of damn peach pear nerds or you know space whatever. Oh, you got one of the ones that you juice up yourself. Yeah I didn't even want to dude. I went in there and I didn't know what I was doing And the guy in there was so the guy looked like both of his parents were weed

Starting point is 00:37:43 Like he was so fucking high dude. Like if his mom came in she would have been in a cellophane bag Right. Do you even do you smoke cigarettes? Huh? Uh, do you are you addicted to nicotine? No But I need I just needed something to get and the flavors they're coming out with you know, I love like banana pudding I love crème brûlée. It sounds like you're going down It's a dark road, bro. So next thing I'm in there, dude. I have like nine different dessert vapes dude I'm leaving out of there. I mean, it was like a cheesecake factory page. Yeah, that place ain't for you That place ain't for you Um, but yeah having some kind of advice some kind of thing I want having to reset myself when I don't feel good

Starting point is 00:38:21 That's the toughest thing to do. I feel like for me when I'm not feeling good And it probably has nothing to do with anything external in the world It's all internal. How do I reset myself to be able to be Okay to others first of all and then okay to myself and have a productive day And then I think that that probably is some type of a success if you can figure out whatever that is For some people, maybe it is you have a family for some people. Maybe it is you do something for someone else, you know Yeah Go for a run sometimes doing a a yog or something if I can just get over that hump of uncomfort sometimes

Starting point is 00:38:56 It's just a hill. Yeah, you know But anyway, I don't mean to go off on that. I'll just love thinking don't want to fucking $100,000 hawaiian vacation, you know, I think that could maybe that'll fucking help you hit the reset button Yeah, that could definitely help. I've not been on that. Did we talk did we talk about money and happiness? We just said, I mean, I I you know, I didn't have any money and then I've made some money I don't have a ton of money, but I've made some money and I don't know if it may I don't do not think it's made me any happier. Yeah Liquid death. He's not happy enough. Yeah, you gotta fucking fucking step it up

Starting point is 00:39:32 Here's somebody right here who's obviously unhappy Hey, hey, it's Michael McGill. This is the happiest guy I've ever seen in my life Don't judge a book by its cover, huh? Texas You're one of my favorite comedians on the freaking Listen to you on the daily my question. You owe this guy an apology, man What was the greatest lesson that you learned being in prison and how does it translate into your business or your personal life?

Starting point is 00:40:05 And Theo you definitely look like someone who's been to prison and came out with a rough rough life So what's your life lesson Theo? Love you guys gang gang gang gang, maybe That's a great question. Jeffrey since you really have the prison experience amongst us. Did you go to federal prison? No, I was in jail. I put a bunch of it to Miami Dade. I saw that Miami Dade, I was out here. Would you spend? Yeah, um, I've been locked up several times, but I never did like I never did prison That's after once you go over a year. That's prison. So I've only been to jail But um

Starting point is 00:40:42 Yeah, life lessons that I've learned is fucking don't do stupid shit and go back because it sucks It's not like there's not people in there that are interesting to talk to you know Like maybe I'd find a gem like you and I'd hang out and we'd fucking hit it off, you know Yeah, that's that's rare that you get that because It's not smart people that get arrested and Wow, my bunkie was in there for murder and when I asked him finally I worked up the courage to ask him what he was in there for he was like

Starting point is 00:41:09 I shot at somebody and it hit him in the head and I'm like the You fucking so you fucking shot a guy in the head. It's a unique way to say it. Yeah But I guess it was the guy's fault. Yeah, but yeah Like yeah, it was the guy's fault, but fuck I guess it's like if you're doing like gangster shit and you're just shooting that fucking like you're not actually Maybe he wasn't intending to kill the guy. Maybe he was just trying to scare him You know and he fuck I guess I guess that's how he was trying to phrase it Or maybe that's how he lives it himself and convinces himself

Starting point is 00:41:39 But um, but how dumb you have to be to shoot aimlessly at least if you're smart, you're gonna shoot where you want to shoot Yeah, so then it's like oh, I'm gonna shoot him in the leg so he doesn't die Yeah, and I still get to be a shooter Yeah, you know whereas I'm just gonna shoot anywhere and see what happens You're gonna leave it up to the luck of the bullets. Yeah, that's insane. Maybe he needs to I don't know He obviously need specificity. He obviously wasn't the smartest guy, which is my point There's not much you can learn in there. You know, it's very political. It doesn't really make much sense You know that the inmates give each each other a bunch of rules

Starting point is 00:42:12 And if you break them then you get beat up by your own people and I don't know was it scary Yeah, it's of course. Yeah, but you know, I'm sure you get used to it over over time You know, were you angry at like the system? Were you angry at yourself like at that point in your life? Or self like I fucking got arrested for the dumbest shit. It's never something planned. You know, it's usually something that you just slip up You know, yeah It's not even like I've done way worse shit that I haven't gotten trouble for never like hurt anybody and nothing violent, but like Yeah, so it's just guilt feel dumb

Starting point is 00:42:50 And then like the only thing you can really do is read like a bible or go to church. They have like a church on sunday Oh, really? Yeah, that god will find you in in jail. Yeah, you know, and even the Like the the pastor priest or whatever He's like telling you like you were put here for a reason and like that'll really like get you because you're like I'm here I was here put here for a reason. Maybe it is to find god. Yeah, that's why everybody leaves Lord it up. Oh, yeah, and did you find where do you have some a couple weeks for you? You're like in the where you really got into the lord club kind of? Um

Starting point is 00:43:22 Well, I was raised I believe in god. So yeah, I believe I believe in god too. Yeah Um, I don't know what exact religion fits me perfectly right now at this moment because like the the catholic church did all that stuff With the kids and stuff like that. I don't I don't want to get into stuff like that But um, yeah, I believe in god Well humans falter so much trying to because you're trying to share the or you're trying to share the message of something that's It's a lot of pressure for anybody to put It's a lot of pressure to put on humans to

Starting point is 00:43:56 convey I feel like the ability and the The truth of what a god is I feel like it doesn't it seem like as a human like no matter if they're the priest or the Bishop or whatever. It's like that's a lot of fucking pressure that this dude's gonna be the filter for that kind of shit Yeah, yeah, so you mass that you know, you take that kind of like that I think a lot of those guys get a lot of power hungry power happy A lot of them are on jets now and stuff dude wearing like oh, have you seen righteous gemstones on HBO? I love that show god. I wanted to be on there. That's actually the inspiration behind the mullet Kenny powers not in that show

Starting point is 00:44:36 Yeah, he's bounding down. Oh, of course for me to get the moment. I was like fucking. I'm jumping out of course Of course, dude north eastbound and up dude. Yeah, what do you mean? Jeff Whittock north? Oh, yeah. Yeah, just like yeah Yeah, where you're from, but um I'm just yeah, I want to I want to be on the same wavelength as you feel your brain You got an interesting brain. You're one of a kind you got one you have a specific style in your comedy that I don't know Who you are even close to who I compare you to, you know It's thanks. You know what I'm saying, right? Well, I think you have a real ability man that people love you for some reason Yeah, I don't know what it is. Did you switch out producers because I watched a podcast episode

Starting point is 00:45:15 I thought you had like a small asian boy or it was helping you out in Nashville. We have a fella. Oh, yeah Yeah, named Riley. He's uh, yeah, he's still around. He does a lot of he does a lot of stuff with the church He's with the church and so it's hard to get a hold of him. You know, he's doing he does outings boy scouts He's in him. Oh, yeah, he's a man. He's still doing boy scouts. He's he's 20. I think 20 I got a bunch of 20 year olds working for me setting up my shit and they all they're all fucking idiots They have no credentials to be doing any of this stuff, but I love them. They make me happy, you know I don't care if you know, you know, you don't you have all this fucking year and stuff If you just make me happy, you just got to be in a good mood to film sometimes, you know

Starting point is 00:45:52 Like this guy when I when I first came in here and saw him. He got me right out of it. You know, yeah He loves you. Nick's a big fan of yours Thank you, Nick. Big fan of yours too. Thank you for setting this up. Yeah, Nick's on a Nick's done a great job, man He's helped this podcast so much over the years But yeah, having a fucking bunch of 20 year olds, you know, that energy is falling because they're just like It's so funny. They smoke babes and stuff. They say no cap all the time. I'm like stop saying that fucking shit around here Yeah, they're all wearing chains and like getting to baby tattoos and shit. Yeah Yeah, they talk about it a little loosey vert and stuff like that

Starting point is 00:46:23 They keep me Young but also, you know, now I might what if there's a draft we might lose them all, you know, I'm having no team They'll rope up all my 20 year old guys and imagine if there's a draft We're gonna be basically it could be a bunch of people hiding with vapes on the front line Exactly. It's one year old now. Damn. We're fucked now They're all going to be doing those like looted fucking, uh, tiktoks and shit Those are viral tiktoks at war in afghanistan or the haven't seen those yet those new ones you haven't seen the ones

Starting point is 00:46:59 That got everyone hanging on the plane. Uh, I've seen some of that yesterday. Yes But I haven't seen that that shit isn't doesn't drive you fucking nuts Like we're over here talking about oh, it's tough to get in here do a podcast once a week And these guys are hanging on the sides of planes because their lives are so shit Right, but it's like what it it does. But then it's like if it weren't for social media and stuff I wouldn't know about that which is I or some of it. I wouldn't see and it's okay It doesn't mean that I don't want to know about it. But it's it's interesting the amount of stuff we know about now I don't know if we can handle it as humans. I don't know if we're built to handle all of this stuff

Starting point is 00:47:35 It's like somebody, you know, because then what can you or I do we could donate? We could join the service if we get drafted. Yeah, we could help an afghan friend or something I think joining the service is the only like actual thing that we could do really like posting something on your social media Yeah, you're bringing awareness to it and there's enough awareness, bro There's so much aware. We don't need any more awareness. I know people is dumb. I know people is starving I know people are Doing rapes. I know people are Unhappy. I know people are mentally unwell. I live inside of one. I know people that shot people in the head. Yeah

Starting point is 00:48:13 Even though it was a guy who moved his head into the bullet Yeah, but you're aware it's too much. Yeah, we don't need any more awareness I'm so aware, bro That it's like it's money for people because it's clicks, you know, we need clicks We need to fucking get some clicks on this. You pro facts or anti, huh? Let's talk Taliban. Let's talk fucking building seven. We're gonna get into real shit. Let's get some Oh, dude, if you don't believe in tower seven, oh, yeah, if you don't believe in tower seven, I don't even know Inside job? It was an inside job. I mean, look, there's a guy running out with an ij tattoo on his wrist

Starting point is 00:48:48 You can see it, bro. They found it in a video. My mom was in she was in the tower. She was in the first tower I know she was a secretary. I saw her in a video Yeah, but she doesn't think it's an inside job. I'm always trying to get her and like having the kids and my 20 year old employees They'll call her and they'll be like we we believe it was aliens that flew the planes in and my mom's like What are these guys smoking that are working for you? Aliens flew the fucking planes into the towers Yeah, yeah, she thinks everything I do is fucking like I don't know she watches all my stuff Oh, of course, man. My mom does too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think it makes them feel like closer to you

Starting point is 00:49:26 Or I don't know. I think I'm sure my mom get has gotten to know me way better through my podcast than ever I never talked about drug use in front of my parents any vulnerable shit nothing Even that stuff I said about I might get yelled at because it's saying I'm not Catholic technically anymore I might get whacked when I you know, I might be waiting in the parking lot You know, they're driving across country right now. They got an RV. They're retired They're coming to see you. Yeah. Yeah, they're driving across the country. They're stopping at some campgrounds and stuff like that Do they stay at like a KOA and stuff like that? Um, I don't know what that is. It's like a it's a just a sir. It's like a safe enough trail park term

Starting point is 00:50:05 Yeah, KOA is like They got clean bathrooms sometimes they have like a Little group center in the middle. Oh, there we go. Yeah. I think they're doing stuff like this I sent I was out in Malibu shooting some stuff and I found a campsite that was on the water And I sent the like a video to my dad and he was like That is expensive. Shit. Like I'm gonna find like a piece of shit lot for fucking 20 bucks Yeah, he was pissed off. He just gets pissed. I'm just sending him a sending him a video, you know Look at this nice campground. He's he gets mad

Starting point is 00:50:36 Do you think getting mad is like a new yorkers just it's a natural first way it's like saying hello a little bit of something Yeah, it wouldn't be normal if if he was like, oh, that's really nice. I'd love to visit I'd be like, what the fuck dad? Would you wouldn't you fucking turn gay or something? Yeah, what's going on? Bob, you got something to tell me and mom, huh? Let me get grandma in the line. Oh, shit grandma's dead We'll get a Ouija board. She needs to hear this. Yeah Um What about this right here? What do you think about this man? This just happened

Starting point is 00:51:08 Look at that body on the picture picture baseball players physiques are so funny to me, you know Because their athletes are pro athletes, but they don't have to be like ripped or like UFC fighters You have to use every pound on your body. That's a good muscle. You know, these guys don't give a fuck They're out doing blow and fucking eating fried chicken And then they get up the next day and just throw a 99 mile an hour fastball That's really all you got to worry about. It's just this thing making sure this is good That might be the white you might be talking about the white socks specifically, but there are a lot of good I think there's a lot of I think some guys every now and then you get that still kind of thicky thick guy out there

Starting point is 00:51:46 Now what do you do now that guy's got some beef on him. Oh, yeah, he does you're right. You got a belly. He better better careful Well, folks, I think I missed the whole Uh point of this video. So he said something racist to him. Yeah, that was actually that was this was actually him He did he did a little Asian accent Now what do you do with showing this is to see like we can't change this, you know, we have no power over this Is nothing we could do about this, right? Yeah, we can't change this at all. We're spreading awareness right now That's all we're doing. Did you see that video of the girls getting her hand bit by the alligator? I haven't Can you look that up? Yeah, do we want to play this one? Yeah, let's just get through this

Starting point is 00:52:26 What do you think about this man? Did you hear the guy he said he's about he's about to do the accent and then they cut To after a suspension when he returned and he apologizes to the shohai otani. Now. What do you do with shohai otani? He better better careful Oh, the announcer did it. Yeah, you didn't even notice it the first time. I didn't even notice it. No Danger man. Damn. You got to know your fucking place. He got suspended too for it. And here's his apology. Well folks, uh shohai otani has come to the plate and uh, it's been brought to my attention and I I sincerely apologize if I offended anybody, especially anybody in the Asian community For what I said about pitching and being careful. You just started a world war, bro

Starting point is 00:53:11 That's america's favorite pastime. We're putting chinese racism in there. That's fucking terrible I thought it was the players going at it back and forth and i'm like, this is just shit talk at first I didn't I wasn't paying attention really. I was thinking about that alligator video with the girl and Her hand getting caught in there. You would be dude. Yeah, but yeah, no, that's terrible Yeah, do you think you think it's terrible that the guy did it? You got to know your spot. You're an announcer, you know, like I'm scared to do live podcasts because I might slip up I'm just I don't give a fuck about what I say sometimes and there was like no filters so I won't do live sometimes but this guy knows you're live and

Starting point is 00:53:48 You don't have a crew of 20 year olds that are going to edit this after you know Be that I got I got the story wrong. That was the same game his next step at and today He has been suspended indefinitely jack morris the announcer even after his apology on air I feel like you let the man have an apology. Maybe you maybe you suspend him a game But I don't think it goes any further than that it didn't I feel like you can blatantly hear from his intention that it didn't Me didn't mean anything Maybe somebody he knows who's japanese has always said that in his life or something Sometimes you could have things stuck in your head that come out. Yeah, I don't know like baseball commentary

Starting point is 00:54:28 It's like Maybe that's not for you. Maybe you wanted to be a comedian if you're trying to make jokes and get laughs Maybe you should be trying that out of the laugh factor, you know, not on a fucking baseball game Yeah, but do you think what do you think do you think his intention? That's what I wonder what was his intention? Trying to get laughs. The guy's also maybe 70 years old. Do we know oldie is? Just out of touch Yeah, probably he needs some fucking woke kids around him to teach him. You can't be doing that shit This is 2021. He needs some kids to teach him that aliens

Starting point is 00:55:01 Are what this kids do your parents building seven? Yeah, the aliens did building seven. So you need to watch your fucking japanese accent. Okay, what are you doing, man? Yeah, we got bigger fish to fry in like our country here Dude, it's crazy. We can get china's flu, but we can't do an accent of them for two seconds They don't fuck around they don't have youtube instagram none of the shit we have they ban everything except they do have tiktok though, man Oh, yeah, I have a chinese a friend of mine is a chinese masseuse this lady yuli and she Shows me her tiktoks, but how come we don't I don't see chinese tiktoks

Starting point is 00:55:38 I don't think they let us see theirs really so she has one that she's able to use I think because I don't know. She is chinese. Maybe her phone program is from china Oh Yeah, she'd be paying roaming But that pulled the crocodile video if you could find it. Yes, it's interesting and and not to take away from this This is a serious issue, but this crocodile video You're gonna appreciate you because this this girl they're both different crocodiles one of them is freaking one of the crocodiles is uh A big brother and the other crocodile is an actual crocodile. The okay. Look at the way this girl handled this situation here. I could see

Starting point is 00:56:17 You know my my uh my sister. Mm-hmm doing something like this because she works with animals. She's a Racehorse owner. She owns Thoroughbred Racehorses. She lives out in Kentucky for equestrian Uh, no racehorses like Thoroughbred's so uh And she does jiu-jitsu so watch how this girl handles this because this animal is goes to fucking terror Look at that Oh, this is not the video I saw on instagram. Let's go It is the it is the same video, but I don't know why they needed to break down the backstory on the crocodile's life

Starting point is 00:56:55 You know, that's how they do it now, dude where it's who it's a whole vice land documentary Yeah, this thing was at no boo before it showed up Yeah, that's the one we want warning Reminds me of my 15 year old french bulldog So look she goes in there now with it The thing's locked in look at the roll. She rolls with it to save her arm and then she body triangles him Look at that body triangle. She must be a she must be at least a purple belt right

Starting point is 00:57:38 Have you learned that move yet? Yeah, I think I have I'm only one stripe white belt This is what you got to do to get the black belt. You got to get in the croc tank Oh, I left last session. I couldn't even find parking. That's why I said that's where I'm at right now. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's do you go through phases of stuff like yeah, I go through phases where literally I'll get my ribs cracked And I can't go for two and a half weeks. That's what my biggest problem is. Oh, so it's a body giving out Yeah, it really is and that's almost sad but part of that's depressing too. Yeah But take me through some of this Jeff

Starting point is 00:58:07 This is interesting because this I feel like is a difference between you and me like I would like to watch that Shohei Otani thing and talk about the race and you're like, no You want to get you want to see some racism an alligator. She's using bjj a brazilian art form of martial arts And once we discuss it, I agree with you way better, dude. Yeah I love the way that I don't want to come on here and start, you know Switching up topics and stuff if you had plans to talk about that we go back to the baseball stuff No, you know way more than I do about how to do this kind of thing man I think this is good and I think that you

Starting point is 00:58:40 I love the way you took us through it, dude. I love the role I don't even know if I would have noticed the thing roll like that Yeah, I don't know. Uh, maybe you know, I just Oh And she rolled that's total bjj right there. Yeah, and then wrapped it up the body triangle And while her hand's locked in teeth, there's teeth going through a wrist right now She stays in and look there's to keep your composure. No nonsense. Keith Peterson jumping in there at the end. Look at that Yeah, this guy was scared to get in there. He's like

Starting point is 00:59:10 We got trouble in here. I should have called in sick today. Who is he? Yeah, he's the guy Hi, that's a good friend. What a freaking cop out yelling. We got trouble in here when you're the dude who's supposed to be helping Yeah, yeah, thank god that girl is trained, you know, yeah, that's crazy. She was mentally tough too. Yeah Yeah, my sister does bjj. She's a purple belt. So that reminds me of her kind of are you guys pretty close Yeah, I mean, I'll beat the shit out of her now, but that's like she's older than me So she used to kick my ass when I was younger, but you know, I wouldn't I wouldn't want to you know, roll with her I would just give you guys I didn't just push kick her away. You know how how McGregor starts his fights out. He put this push kick test them

Starting point is 00:59:55 Just get away Karen. I don't want to go right now. We're 30s. We're in our 30s Dude his first my sister's name is Karen. Do you believe that? And I'm Jeff my mom predicted memes While the aliens were flying the fucking planes into the towers my mom was out predicting memes She knew she's like, I'm gonna fuck my kids for life right in the tower seven baby tower seven production, dude That's our new production company. Jeff and Karen Oh, is this McGregor's tweets, but dude McGregor does do that the hits like yeah, he's like back up Karen It's almost like you want like you got a homeless guy coming at you on the street

Starting point is 01:00:29 I don't want to risk, you know catching any like blood blood to blood contact. So let me just Do the push kick and it's very much like you don't want these hands So I'm going to let you know that by just I'm gonna put this so you know it And if you keep coming then it's gonna be these and I feel like Like this in MMA is a good technique to start out the fight like push him away But also if you try that out on the street, you might hit nuts and you might hit fucking and that's original timeouts On the street. So that's an effective way to get to not engage in and to throw a shot But also like say like look, you don't fucking want it. They might get hit in the nuts

Starting point is 01:01:08 You could take off, you know before the cops get there like look I'm still going to dinner with my wife Yeah, exactly. We're gonna be it. No, yeah, you might have some dress shoes on or something. Yeah Yeah I wonder if you saw if you saw him in person you ever met Connor in person. No me neither But I wonder if you saw him in person if he looks because some fighters if they had on a hoodie Yeah, you may have no idea if it weren't for the ears, you know. Yeah, the ears. Um Yeah, what happened with Connor Connor and uh, Cormier got into it. Yeah, uh conners Took umbridge with some criticism that Daniel Cormier made on one of his MMA shows and he just started going off

Starting point is 01:01:49 On Daniel Cormier Daniel Cormier is a fat mess Getting into worse condition by the day. God bless. I mean, he's retired, you know Showing up drunk at media events the very day before he was in the booth calling my fight Oh, he so he was upset at bias commentating So he was imagine if he had that fucking baseball commentator on his fight. Yeah, he probably would have loved doing the irish accent I can't help but do the irish accent and I don't know if that's you know, if that's a great point if that would have been an irish guy I bet there's no problem because I fucking I fucking love it. Yeah, it's just fucking to be honest. I don't give a fuck Oh, fuck you

Starting point is 01:02:26 Mr. It's a hard accent to do but it's just so fun. I if I was commentating the fights if I was Daniel Cormier I'd be cancelled big time because I would just do the whole fight and an irish accent But I don't think you get in trouble for irish accent. Would you think you get in trouble? I mean if conners just pissed about him gaining weight On his own in his own life in his own time. I think he's just gonna be pissed about everything that Cormier does and core and look, let's be honest, dude. Cormier is that thick You know what I'm saying? He's built like a like Winnie the Pooh

Starting point is 01:02:58 Went to freaking CrossFit for two years. Yeah, you know, he's got that He has the body style you're talking that Babe Ruth body style where it's just he got all the body He got every part and you're still great at whatever your sport is Yeah, and and that's a perfect example because it's MMA where you have to you know make weight, but he's a heavyweight so Yeah, you could be 265 you could get up there, but now you got guys like in Ghana that are now using every like Cubic square of fucking muscle on your body has to be like lean muscle, you know

Starting point is 01:03:30 In Ghana was a fucking specimen man. That guy is terrifying You see the picture of him next to the the smallest heavyweight champ like the the heavyweight champ next to the light weight Flyweight, charweight. I don't know all the weights is too many. I'm like a Mine would be just weight dude. I need a few minutes before I go in the ring. That's my weight. Look at this Oh my god, that's that Brian Moreno Brandon. Yeah, Brandon Moreno. Wow the lightest UFC champion and the heaviest Oh my god, and the crazy part is and gano seems like the nicest guy in the world. Yeah, french Yeah, jackson the french are coming up bro. That's zero ganye. Oh, yeah In ghanu. Yeah, that's gonna be a good fight. Who'd have thought?

Starting point is 01:04:14 um Let's go back. What do you call me a respond nick? He said I bet you in Ghana will run right through that wall We can't no problem. Oh, yeah two reps He'll hit it and then go again. Yeah, he might just punch through it I went to the u of cpi in vegas and they have that thing where you you punch and it tells you like How much your velocity is or for whatever the fuck? Yeah And I hit that shit as hard as I could and I couldn't even get a third of what in ghanu got really?

Starting point is 01:04:47 Yeah, and I had a shot. I was there with a pro fighter and he got less than I did And then gano was punching You know three times harder than that. What the fuck? It's fucking insane. Were you with sugar sawn? No, I just fucking pulled in. I said I was with the knelt boys Oh, yeah, I wasn't I wasn't with anybody. I was just like I was just fucking I respect that. Yeah I snuck in I infiltrated the u of cpi Now I had a friend there that was training, but that would have been cooler if I just left it the other story Yeah, I lied. I'm a knelt boy. I like that dude. I think uh

Starting point is 01:05:21 I don't even know if I know the knelt. I mean, I know who the knelt boys are, but I don't know if I know any of them in person Yeah, I did a Steve I met Yeah, I feel like you get along with them. I met some of them And DJ. Yeah, they're doing their thing. Oh, yeah, they're kind of like in the same world Do you ever feel like the same world that you guys are in? Yeah, 100% Yeah, that's so cool that so many people kind of cross over each other and do stuff together Yeah Good guys. Um

Starting point is 01:05:53 I got they they make some edgy jokes They got me in trouble one time. They sent me a package of merch and one of their Shirts had Epstein on it and My friend one of my friends he looks like a young Epstein He has like a little rat looking face And I always call him Epstein So I made a joke and as I was promoting their merch because they sent me a nice big box And then I was getting canceled just for promoting their merch

Starting point is 01:06:18 So, I mean, it's just what you give a fuck to is there value in getting canceled these days Like my friend Morgan wall and he has like he got canceled or whatever and he's like the biggest musician in the whole world The n-word situation. Yeah. Yeah um I mean, he's a big now. He's I think he's a big I mean, he's basically like the He's like the male Katy Perry now. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean, you're saying that he'll be on tour for 10 years if he wants to I think anyway So that actually helped his career. It definitely didn't hurt him

Starting point is 01:06:50 I think the way that they beat the media beat him down about it. Yeah, it just helped him It's almost like if you want to sell a good tour Get canceled first not that Morgan couldn't without it, but I bet it apologized or did he just Yeah, he kind of did now. He did a little bit of like the song and dance, you know that they make you do Yeah, for sure. Well, he grew up in the south. Yeah, you know, did he get a pass from somebody? Because I don't know if that I don't I don't know that doesn't count but no, but it kind of I mean look he called it like He called his friend his white friend A pussy ass n-word. Yeah, you know, yeah, and he didn't say you already said a yeah, which you can buy in music

Starting point is 01:07:29 So to me to me and a lot of my black friends didn't even think it was a big deal Yeah, you know, it's really just the media, but if you can get the media to bite into Yeah, something controversial. I wonder do you think it can help your vibe these days? Yeah Yeah I mean if if if that's part of your brand and you just double down on it You don't apologize. You just say this is who I am and I made a mistake times are changing, you know I don't know. This is fucking I probably shouldn't comment on on this stuff. Oh, I don't know. I think it's interesting. Yeah Um, but I just feel like it's cancel culture now something people can use as leverage to be a better

Starting point is 01:08:07 To promote it's almost like like six nine did if you watch that documentary about six nine His whole thing was like six nine of the documentary bro, and it's yeah, and it's fascinating bro. His whole thing was to me I'm gonna tell these rappers rappers are not tough anymore Mm-hmm the guys who were shooting each other they both shot each other biggie shot to pop to pop shot biggie Yeah, they shoot at the same time. How'd that even happen? Uh-huh, and here's what it was like a month apart or something, right? Oh, one of them must have shot straight up in the air then do What an 80 gauge

Starting point is 01:08:42 But here's the thing he realized you're like none of these dudes all of them are just about like internet cloud anymore There's no real killers. Yeah, I'm gonna call all of them Pussies. Yeah, and that's what he started doing and he's right. None of them are gonna kill 100. They all just want to have their It's more dangerous to be a youtuber because now you'll be like called out to box and okay now you gotta actually fight You know So you gotta be more hardcore to be a fucking youtuber now than a rapper. I was talking to bro. That's so true I was talking to yogurti the other day, and he was like what's the deal with all these Uh youtubers boxers and money in that and I was like well back in the day when rappers had beef

Starting point is 01:09:19 They would just shoot each other Now like youtubers in our world. They found a way to resolve that conflict and also monetize it and You know, but like some people get into boxing and they love it like the paul brothers They actually live and breathe boxing now. Yeah move their trainers into their houses like they are putting millions into their training camps and They're you know, they have resources that are better than most fighters have you know There's a lot of a lot of these fighters are gonna pay two grand a fight. I know if that you know, how do you pay for training?

Starting point is 01:09:49 They're like grateful just to get in a gym. Yeah Yeah, I think it's just fascinating. Yeah. Why aren't these rappers like if they have any real beef? It's like the rappers have turned into The actors yeah And the youtubers are the fucking ones that are actually about it. Let's settle the beef. Yeah Yeah, look at us. We're in combat sports training with them. What the fuck? Yeah, what are we preparing for? I don't know. I would be willing to fight someone in a couple years. Oh, yeah I think you do it somebody like around

Starting point is 01:10:21 I think if brennan schaub lost it. He's a you know, brennan schaub doing and I do a show called king in the sting And he formerly did ufc But if you he's a heavyweight though, you'd go after him. I'd have to gain 40 you'd have to lose 40 Oh, so he would be fucking a toothpick and you would bulk up like He could actually he'd like jay. He'd just go all the way to the top of the climb Yeah. He'd probably, he'd probably, he'd probably, he'd probably cormier probably Yeah I don't know. I'd probably go after somebody with a little less experience because he actually has octagon experience

Starting point is 01:10:49 You're right. Maybe bobbily he wrestled in high school. If bobbily is a perfect matchup It'd be good shit talk back and forth on stage, you know press conference You get up there. You fucking do the accent like that you get canceled. Your career blows up And then you fucking Didn't he say he has some more Schwarz experience, or is that just me stereotyping? He does, but I bet it's deep into his bone marrow now. I mean, it is, he's more of a...

Starting point is 01:11:13 It's embedded in his brain, it's his instinct now. It's actually more dangerous that it's instinctual, because he could just rekindle that. That's a good point. And his body parts aren't far apart. So I feel like he can manage his body. You know, like some remote controls, like the original PlayStation controller,

Starting point is 01:11:30 like there was just a couple buttons and it was close and easy. And then you got that Xbox thing, and you're like, we're doing it. Yes, I think I have too many, whereas he's just like, you know. Yeah, just straight punches down the middle. That's all you need, one, two.

Starting point is 01:11:43 That's all you need to know. A lot of people don't know Bobby wrestled at Poway. Wrestled at Poway High School. This guy has a question about pulling up for each one of you. Is this dope as YOLA? It looks like it, but I don't think it is. Sup, Brad King.

Starting point is 01:12:00 Jeff, how we doing? If you're a boy meter from Jersey, Theo's a big DP fan. Doesn't pour you, not the other thing. And Jeff likes Conor. I mean, would you guys ever, you know, get in the ring, fight for your man? He fucking ratted me right out over here.

Starting point is 01:12:17 I mean, I think Theo would sleep Jeff in like 30 seconds. Don't drive us against each other, bro. We just met. We were fucking finally warming up to each other and you want to drive us against each other. Any fucking ratted me out of being a Conor fan. Yeah. You know, I look, I don't like Conor's actions recently.

Starting point is 01:12:36 Colin Cormier, a fat fuck, is kind of a little funny. Yeah. But you know, like, yeah, he's got to work on his respect levels right now, but also he's going through some serious shit. He's got a life changing injury right now. When I was, when I smashed my fucking head off the crane, I was saying all types of bat shit crazy stuff.

Starting point is 01:12:54 I still am today. I probably said things on the podcast, you know? Yeah. Well, at least you could use a crane, Andrea, if anybody was like, why do you say that? You'd be like, just show a picture of a fricking big John Deere. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 01:13:04 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're dumb. You can say whatever you want now. You're mentally handicapped. Blame it on the crane. Dude, blame it on the crane.

Starting point is 01:13:13 I made a song about it too. You did? Yeah, at the end of the documentary, you'll see it. So yeah, I skydive into a musical performance at the end. I couldn't figure out how to end it. I was like, this is some sad shit. It got real dark. And then I just wanted to end it on a happy note.

Starting point is 01:13:25 So I covered higher from Creed. Ooh. Yeah, I was fucking jumped out of a hot air balloon. And then I just started singing. And it was like a, cause I can't sing. I'm not a musician, but I could do like funny singing voices. Yeah. So I did that.

Starting point is 01:13:41 And then I reached out to him and he like gave me the rights to do it or whatever. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Have you ever done the one that Josh out of Myers does at the comedy, at the? Jam.

Starting point is 01:13:55 Jam. Comedy Jam. He has comedians and entertainers come on stage and sing with a live band like you, you. God damn comedy jam. God damn comedy jam. God damn. I don't know if I could do that.

Starting point is 01:14:07 I could do it for like if I sold tickets to my own tour, I could do it for my own fans, but going out there for people that don't know me and then I just started doing a shitty cover of Creed. I did it. It was bad. Everybody did it. Like open mics?

Starting point is 01:14:17 I never had to go that route. No, no, it's not open mic. It's like a real show. So they've just, the crowd is there. Just they know it's comedians and entertainers, comedians performing music that are not singers. So they know, but it's a real band and it's like a good, people are just having fun.

Starting point is 01:14:32 But people, like the average person has way more musical talent than I do. Really? Yeah, I don't have any, I have like bad music. What skills do you think you actually have? Like what are some of your, honestly, what are your skills? Fighting. I could probably fucking take off the average

Starting point is 01:14:47 YouTuber's head in a box and match, you know. Have you thought about challenging anybody? Yeah, I've been doing it. On my own podcast, people are sick of it. I just call somebody out every week and nobody's taking the bait right now. What about Ethan Klein? Oh yeah, but I mean, he wouldn't take the bait.

Starting point is 01:15:04 I mean, what's in it for him? Money? Yeah. How much money can you possibly give him? He's not gonna do it. He wouldn't do it. I would love that matchup because he's fucking, you know, said some things about me, but it, you know.

Starting point is 01:15:15 He's a heavyweight. He would probably like to do a debate, like a mental battle. What about Trisha Bataya? I mean, that's, man, a woman, that'd be a new thing. You'd have to get a new lead. I thought she was transgender. Not sure.

Starting point is 01:15:27 You would have to get a whole new league of like, who's even down to put that on, that bare knuckle? They'd put on, Triller would probably put it on. Triller would do it. Yeah. They don't give a fuck. Bro, Triller is basically like, anytime I've ever been in a huge nightclub in Jacksonville

Starting point is 01:15:41 and had to go find the bathroom, that is what I feel like I'm wandering through when I watch Triller. Somebody's singing over here in this corner. It's very poorly lit. I wouldn't be surprised if they had the fucking, the rematch with the crocodile and that girl. They might try to,

Starting point is 01:15:54 they might try to set that up and just promote it, the rematch of the crocodile versus the anime girl. Dude, that's where we're headed. It's definitely getting interesting. It's like we're all heading into this space where it's like, there's just the things are just publicized fights now. The UFC is like the biggest sport in America.

Starting point is 01:16:11 Yeah. I realize it's my favorite sport. Same. It's great, huh? Football used to be my favorite sport. Fuck that, man, running around with helmets on and gear throwing a ball around. Just put two men in, only one can win, you know?

Starting point is 01:16:24 You have to make that man fucking either quit or go to sleep, go unconscious, you know? Well, what's better than that? Do you think you could have done it looking back on your life if you'd have gotten into it early and really trained? Do you think you'd have had a chance in it? Do you have that thing?

Starting point is 01:16:41 I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I got in plenty of fights growing up, but I've lost some, you know? That might have fucked up my momentum. You know, if I had a loss like, who'd you lose to, do you remember? I mean, I've had group fights where I just got clipped

Starting point is 01:16:56 from the side and stuff like that. Yeah, I remember I lost this one fight or I fought some guy on steroids. He was on performance enhancing drugs. I wouldn't test him or anything after that. He'd walk around school saying I'm off the weed, I'm on the juice. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:11 He's a real juice head. And yeah, just fucking, I was out of my weight class. So I have weight classes, you know? I tried to go after a fucking big dog. I got fucking pummeled, you know? But it's a humbling experience, you know? I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe that fucking, you know, the crane.

Starting point is 01:17:26 I lost the fight to the crane. But even that, I got TKO'd. I didn't even get knocked out. That was awesome. That was a TKO. That was a Dr. Stoppage, actually. That one was a Dr. Stoppage with the crane. That fucking crane.

Starting point is 01:17:38 Dude, we should do a fight review sometime. I wonder if that would be cool or not. You and me, commentating? I think we just came up with a goddamn, you know? And get a fight or two. We have to get somebody who fights, who knows what they're talking about. Do we?

Starting point is 01:17:51 I think we know enough. I don't think we do. We could just do fucking accents like that guy. Yeah. And, you know, we'll get- Oh, coming to the plate. We'll get views, we'll lose all our sponsors. I'm sure liquid debt will stick around, but.

Starting point is 01:18:08 Well, they're in it for the long haul, dude. Going to jail, liquid debt. That was your Conor McGregor, if anybody's wondering. Yeah, that was my Conor, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm gonna fight ya, buddy. They're all bad, man. Wow.

Starting point is 01:18:21 Yeah, I mean, I get a lot of practice. All I do on my podcast is talk about myself and do Conor McGregor impressions. People are pissed, but I'm warming up to it. Yeah, I'm getting used to it. I got a soundboard and stuff, so I got the 20-year-olds that believe in aliens, flying planes, and they're just hitting buttons all day.

Starting point is 01:18:36 And it throws off any form of conversation that gets started. But I think that's like what I'm used to, because I'm in the younger generation where everything's just quicker and we cut ours, so it's edits, it's not like Rogan where it's just they sit down and have a conversation and they could just talk for three hours.

Starting point is 01:18:51 Yeah, it's hard to be on Joe Rogan. Do you have a catheter tube hooked up to your penis when you do those? Cause I got a piss right now and I feel like we've been going only for like a half hour. Yeah, two and a half, two hours I had to pee so bad. I remember all my thoughts started to have like it was on an ocean.

Starting point is 01:19:07 Do you get nervous to tell him, like, can I take a piss break? Yeah. Yeah, cause I got a little of that right now. I don't want to interrupt the show, but I got to piss bad. Go pee and we'll come into this question from this young lady. Okay, yeah, we'll come right back for this.

Starting point is 01:19:19 Damn, I was holding that in. You were? You weren't pissed off and I had to go piss. Not a chance, man. No, I'm glad you're getting it out of you. Attention listeners across the galaxy from Minneapolis to Mozambique, from Atlanta to Florida.

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Starting point is 01:21:34 to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's keeps.com slash T-H-E-O to get your first month free. Keeps.com slash Theo. Thank you for supporting the podcast. Oh, refreshed. Nice. Hi, Jeff.

Starting point is 01:21:53 Hi, Theo. My question for you, Jeff, is did you really lose your virginity at age 12? And if you could go back and change things, do you think you would still lose your virginity at age 12? Love you, Theo. Love you so much, Jeff. Gang gang, snip, snip.

Starting point is 01:22:17 So somebody's been neutered, I guess. If I could go back and change anything, I would go back to when I recorded that video and said that it was 12, because I think it was like 14 or 15. Yeah. I think I exaggerated a little bit when I said that, but she did some deep dive and research for that.

Starting point is 01:22:32 And so I love you back, and I appreciate you for watching all my stuff way back then when I said that in a video, because I was new to YouTube. I was just flirting shit out. Yeah. I wasn't fucking 12 or whatever. I didn't know I was gonna stick and resonate with people.

Starting point is 01:22:44 I might change how this girl lives her life. Well, what if she lost her virginity at a young age, because you did? Because I did, so. What if some 12-year-old watches that, and you're like, you know what? I'm gonna go outside right now and bang somebody. I know, I know.

Starting point is 01:22:56 So yeah, if I could change anything, I would go back to when I said that, because that was a lie, and I'm spreading misinformation. I must've been 14, 15, which is still early, but. Yeah. But in New Jersey, is that early? I feel our New York is. I feel like that's fricking.

Starting point is 01:23:10 After that movie, Kids, I feel like it's like anybody. So you gotta hump by the time you hit about eighth grade. Yeah, no, I had already been in and out of gangs, multiple gangs, different fucking, yeah. So I grew up different, but I don't suggest it. I don't recommend you do the same thing I did, but I don't regret it, whatever it is. She could do a little gang life, I think,

Starting point is 01:23:32 that lady looks like she could use definitely. Would you want a gang? Something light, nothing heavy, maybe a book club that also buys knives or something. Mm-hmm. You know? She might already be part of one. Yeah, sure.

Starting point is 01:23:43 She's watching both of us. I think, yeah, she's not doing, yeah, she's definitely doing great. It's funny to see the crossover, people that watch the both of us, because I saw you posted a picture on Instagram saying that I was coming on, and the picture you picked of me was it,

Starting point is 01:23:57 that was the old version of me. I had no mullet, you know? I wasn't my true form at that point. And there were people on there like, who the fuck is this guy? Like, fuck this guy. Who was this inwards? Somebody wrote me, who's this inwards?

Starting point is 01:24:09 Oh, yeah. Yeah, pretty cool, I thought. God damn. Yeah, that is pretty cool. I know, didn't it? Yeah, all right. Well, I guess you got some messages, but yeah, I saw people comment and stuff like that.

Starting point is 01:24:20 They were pissed off. So it's interesting to see these videos. It's nice that we do have crossover fan bases. Yeah, her. That's it. That's the only one. And anybody likes getting their hair cut uniquely, which I think is so many people now have mullets.

Starting point is 01:24:37 I know, it's kind of a little frustrating because we had our thing, you know? Me, you and Kenny Powers, and now it's- And Kenny really, he launched it years ago, but it didn't really pick up. It was almost just like a look at the past, kind of because he was, I think was a character from the past, you know?

Starting point is 01:24:51 Yeah, it's kind of like he plays an exaggerated version of himself. I just, before I finish, I don't wanna leave out Riff Raff because I know that's a buddy of yours. I've spoken to him too about doing stuff together, like shooting a podcast or something together. And I know he's an avid mullet representation. He's an avid, he's a piece of hit.

Starting point is 01:25:12 Riff Raff should be in a museum. Some people are like a segment of time trapped in a person. And Riff Raff is like 19, for me, and this is judgment, he's like 1989 to like 94. Oh, damn, that's how I was born, 89. Really? Wow. Yeah, he's, I feel like both of you guys have that in you. You're both unique in your own ways.

Starting point is 01:25:42 Oh, yeah, he's extremely unique. Because I went to his place, man. I went to his place in Florida and he took me like immediately like dirt bike riding in his neighborhood and quadding in his neighborhood. And it's not like a neighborhood you go quadding in. So the neighbors are all like, oh, you know.

Starting point is 01:25:57 Yeah. They're all like taking their trash out. But that's the only time that dirt biking or quadding is fun when it's on the streets illegally. Yeah, if somebody's flipping you off while you do it. Yeah. And you, what are you gonna go to a dirt track and do it the right way?

Starting point is 01:26:09 You gotta load it on the truck and get it off and you know, all that shit. Yeah, your mom's there clapping when you get her back. Sign off this shit. Fuck it, just ride it down the street. Join a gang. Yeah, like New York and the dirt bikers in New York, like Meek Mill and like over there on the East Coast.

Starting point is 01:26:24 Oh, yeah. They would just ride the dirt bikes in the street. It's way more fun. The cops come to chase you, just skid, go the other way. That's legendary. I went to jail for that too. You did? Yeah, one time.

Starting point is 01:26:33 But I feel like a lot of things that seem like you would get stopped for, was there an, did you rebel against police and that also helped you get to jail? I wonder was there an extra element? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, fuck you. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:47 That's what I see. I see like, okay, there's this one introductory element where about 80% of people maybe make it out of, but Whittock is like, nah, fuck you, please. I got myself in a deeper hole. I keep digging it deeper and deeper. I'm like that kid in the breakfast club where he's like, you got detention

Starting point is 01:27:03 and I'm like, fuck you. And he's like, say something again. And he's like, you just keep saying it, that's me. I keep getting time at it on. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you basically stopped by a police office to ask for directions and next thing you know, you're in a freaking solitary confinement for a year.

Starting point is 01:27:17 What the fuck did I do? Yeah. That's a good question that lady had, man. I remember being young and having sex, man. And that was the best time to be sober and have sober sexes for children. I've always said that. And I believe I was 17, man.

Starting point is 01:27:36 But once you get like 12th, you're just trying to find somebody who will let you put your penis in them, I feel like. You just wanna get it done so you can tell your friends that you did it. Yeah, and to tell yourself you can do it. Uh-huh, yeah. Because you're this weird thing

Starting point is 01:27:52 that wants to have sex and that hasn't done. Your base, it's like the legend of Zelda kinda. Now, see, I don't even know what Zelda is, but I can kinda understand. Yeah, it's like Final Fantasy or some game. You know, it's like, I gotta get to the end. I gotta defeat the boss, you know? Yeah, the over or whatever.

Starting point is 01:28:09 I just pissed off half your audience there, not know what Zelda is. No, I just wasn't into games. The only video games I played was Grand Theft Auto. I'll just go beat somebody up if you don't feel like playing the game. Just go do a robbery. That was a Grand Theft Auto, dude.

Starting point is 01:28:22 That was your 20s, okay? No, it wasn't even the game, it was just blended. I was with a Miami drink and it's my city too. It is very blended that time reality and me playing that game in my childhood. I might be mixing some shit up. That's probably why I said I was 12 when I fucking lost my virginity.

Starting point is 01:28:38 Of course you did. I was thinking about the game. Oh, you're throwing somebody out of a cab, bro, that's fine. I was gonna put a prostitute in Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. You do have kind of like a Grand Theft Auto kind of history, I feel like. I live my life like Grand Theft Auto, still to this day.

Starting point is 01:28:53 Even my place that I live in, my apartment, it's designed like the mission room. Everything I do, I go out, I do a heist, I bring it back there. We sort out all the goods, you know, it's just, that's my mission room. You have one of those big bank vault wheels on the front of your refrigerator.

Starting point is 01:29:10 Yeah, on the fridge. It's like, I'm gonna sneak up on this snack. Pretty much. Yeah, do you remember losing your virginity, man? Was it a scary time? Was it a good time? Yeah, for me, it was a scary time. I was in the backyard of my friend Tom's house.

Starting point is 01:29:26 We used to hang out over at Tom's house in his basement. That's where all the, whatever we could get into any trouble, you know, Tom's parents didn't really give a shit. He had like a, we all live in duplexes. And my house was not a duplex, but pretty much 90% of houses in Staten Island are duplex, maybe even a triplex or something.

Starting point is 01:29:43 Families all living in the same. You could smell the neighbors cooking when it comes to the vent. Yeah, we used to have that. We lived in a fourplex. Oh, you have a fourplex? And our neighbors made liver all the time and we would all, when the liver smoke

Starting point is 01:29:56 would come through the vents, bro, we would lose it as kids. We would go hide, like, it was literally like this weird game of hide and go seek that happened. I forgot about that. The second the liver smoke, it would literally just smoke up, it would come through the vents.

Starting point is 01:30:10 I just got so lost in that I forgot what we were even talking about. I went back to thinking about riffraff's hairline. I just would love to fix it and just line it up. He pushes it back too much. He's got his boy, Maserati Matt, I think who cuts him up, man. Oh yeah, I don't want to disrespect Maserati Matt.

Starting point is 01:30:24 Take it back, his hairline's perfect. I don't want to get Barbara Bief, you know? No, no, no, Matt, we disrespect other people's work. And was it a scary time? What happened? Was it, you met the Inuda girl? Oh yeah, so Tom's parents would be up on the third floor and we would have the basement down.

Starting point is 01:30:41 So now we're down like four levels. We're underground, we could do whatever we want down there. Beautiful, beautiful. Finally, we get some girls over to Tom's basement and then that's finally when I was able to close the deal. Now we're both girls, that night was it a plan? Like we're all gonna have sex? I had to go out in the backyard

Starting point is 01:30:57 because the basement down there, there was always people hanging out. It was like this room pretty much, you know? So we couldn't get anything done in there. We went out in the backyard on a beach towel. Oh yeah. This is where I lost my virginity. That was the first time.

Starting point is 01:31:11 Yeah, I hope my fucking mother doesn't watch this one. She knows, she knows in her heart. That's two things that I said. She knows the way that you came home after that and complained about the sandwich that she made for you. I came back with an attitude. Yeah. Hey mom, make me a sandwich.

Starting point is 01:31:24 I got him a fucking beach towel on my back. Yeah, damn. My poor mother. Like have you been to Jones Beach? Is that how you guys go to Jones Beach? Yeah, I went to Jones Beach as a kid. Oh, that's cool. I caught a fish there.

Starting point is 01:31:37 I caught a striped bass off the beach. Wow. Yeah, maybe that's what I need as, you know, we were talking about the reset button earlier. Maybe it's just a good fishing trip. We were old man, you know, just go out on a boat or a lake, you know, whatever, on the ocean or lake, whatever, just fishing.

Starting point is 01:31:53 I feel like I'm always searching for a reset. Do you feel like that? Yeah. Yeah, cause things are going good for me right now. I am actually resetting. I'm starting back up the barbershop show and that was kind of stressful to kind of reset that because it's something I'm so used to.

Starting point is 01:32:08 I did it for so long and I'm like, I'm proud of those episodes that we did. And now we got to kind of start that back up again and do that character. It's kind of a batshit crazy barber. Was it a real, was that really the way it ended with the guy? That was kind of like a metaphor.

Starting point is 01:32:26 I was a metaphor. Yeah, it was like me letting go of the old me that would burn down his restaurant if he fucked me over and said, you got to get your shit out of my house, which was my house. He moved into my house and said, get your shit out. And then when I had this successful business, I would have fucking burned it down

Starting point is 01:32:44 but because of my love and respect for his family and me putting that old version of myself behind, that was me transitioning in that moment. Yeah, it's very weird that all this happens on a haircut show when all you have to do is cut the person's hair and interview them. But haircut's such a changing of the guard when you go get a haircut.

Starting point is 01:33:05 It's such a like- No pun intended. Yeah. It's such a like, how am I gonna leave here? How am I, who am I, what am I trying to be when I go back into my life? Am I just gonna have the same vibe? Am I gonna, going to get a haircut,

Starting point is 01:33:21 making some hair choices, there's a real thing to it. I want the hair exactly the same because everything's going great. I don't want anything to be adjusted. Let's get it the same. Trying to hold on to- Yeah. Or I want it to look a certain way.

Starting point is 01:33:35 You see guys sometimes have the same, the haircut that you could tell that they've had since they was fricking four years old. You know what I'm saying? You're like, oh, that guy is, he's sticking with what works. That guy's missionary hair. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:48 But guys got it easy because you can always like grow your hair back in a couple of weeks, you know? When women make a change, it's a big deal. You know, that's why they want the guy to comment on it. Oh, you didn't notice anything? There's nothing different about me. You know?

Starting point is 01:34:00 Yeah. It's a big deal for them. Yeah, that is true, man. And I think especially as women get older and stuff, the hair, you know, the hair always can look nice. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so they get their hair done.

Starting point is 01:34:12 But yeah, for a guy, when you change up your hairstyle, it doesn't happen often in life. Unless you're, who's a good example? Like, Shanele Malley is always changing his hairstyle up. Yeah. Or whatever. Sugar Sean. There's not much guys that really do that.

Starting point is 01:34:26 Abe Lincoln did happily. He had a mullet at some point, didn't he? Now, Abe Lincoln had a mullet? I think he did. There's a drawing of him. I've been to his home, his home that he grew up in. There's a drawing of him actually with longer hair. Huh.

Starting point is 01:34:46 There you go. Oh, that's gotta be doctored. I feel like one of your fans made that edit. Oh, I don't know, man. That shit looked pretty fire. This is the fucking Theo Moms. Are you telling me if that dude- Fucking Reddit page.

Starting point is 01:34:58 Oh, that dude rolls up to president, bro. I'm voting. That one too, the America one. I'm voting. Damn. I'm voting legally, bro, if that dude rolls up. Okay, that's doctored. No, that's fake, yeah.

Starting point is 01:35:13 That's fake. Yeah. This guy had a question about his hairstyling days. Yeah, this guy looks like the type of guy that would get nervous going into a barber, going into like the supercuts. Probably doesn't have a regular barber that he visits. Goes to new people every time.

Starting point is 01:35:25 Yeah, do you trust people that go to a new person every time? What kind of person is that? Person that just doesn't give a fuck, just lives day to day. But bro, that's like the Pablo Escobar up here, cause like you were fucking to go to a different person every time.

Starting point is 01:35:41 Yeah, so that's what this kid does? Do we know that about him yet? We should assume it. I'm okay to assume that. I'm that person though. Oh, really? We go to a different barber every time. Just whatever's closest or open or whatever.

Starting point is 01:35:54 So you're not from here? No, no, I went to great clips and sports clips when I was in Minneapolis and it would always be a new lady whose finger smelled like cigarettes. Aw. Yeah. Man, I had this Italian guy that hit the barbershop that I went to growing up.

Starting point is 01:36:12 I can't believe I can't remember the fucking name right now, but this place was like handed down from generations of like just Italian sons that would take over the barbershop. So cool. And yeah, I feel like shit, I can't remember this name, but who knows? That might've been in Grand Theft Auto too,

Starting point is 01:36:28 that I'm just dreaming this up in. I don't know, I don't know. Man, it's crazy your life is just kind of a merger between Grand Theft Auto and real life Jeff Wittig. Yeah. We got to the bottom of it. This is my therapy session for the week, you know? Save me fucking 80 bucks or whatever.

Starting point is 01:36:45 You're like John Wick, dude. John Wick. You're better than John. This episode's better than the movie John Wick. That's crazy. Didn't he ride a horse and fucking rob like a... Sure he did, dude. He did a robbery while riding a horse.

Starting point is 01:36:57 This guy's in a boat. Time Square. This guy's hate. I didn't even watch the movie, I just watched that one scene. If you even just look at the box of picture, you get the whole thing, I feel like. Theo Vaughn and Jeff Wittig. Two delectable specimens.

Starting point is 01:37:11 This one's for Jeff. What's the best hairdressing story you have? Gang gang. Oh, Amber Rose walked into the barber shop and she was like, I want you to shave my head and my sister's head. And this is when she was dating Kanye West and I was like, you look like Kanye West girlfriend.

Starting point is 01:37:32 And she was like, sweetie, I am Kanye West girlfriend. I was like, oh, fucking nervous. And she was beautiful in person, like fucking. I was very shy at the time and I did it. I shaved her heads and ended up dating her sister for a while after that. I shaved her head and yeah, she was beautiful too. It wasn't her sister, she was just.

Starting point is 01:37:58 Is cutting a woman hair a good way? Maybe do Amber Rose, Jeff Wittig, maybe we could find something. This might reveal something from my past that you had no idea about. Maybe I won't even. She almost was like Kathy Griffin's kind of son. No, that's not it. I guess there's me and Pauly D.

Starting point is 01:38:20 Oh yeah, those are good stories too. Oh yeah, Pauly D's it. This situation would come to the barber shop a lot. He would. Yeah, cause he was a barber shop is a one stop shop. You go for a haircut and you go to the barber shop. You get everything. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:38:35 So he would come in. You get your gram, you get your deal, you get your diver. So yeah, he would pop in a lot. Mike Sorrentino and he's on the G. I don't know if I'm saying he's on the juice, but I would bet, but are a lot of these guys in New Jersey on the juice or they're just look like this?

Starting point is 01:38:49 I think it's, I don't know his cheeks look all inflated. I think that's a side effect of testosterone. Yeah, I used to do testosterone, man. And I loved it and I would get jacked. That's probably why that picture I thought was you. Oh yes. Dude, what about this? So I always celebrate five years sobriety, man.

Starting point is 01:39:09 That's amazing. That was just in. I'm sure he's doing ketamine therapy and stuff like that though. He didn't read the fine print down there. He might be on mushrooms, weed and ketamine therapy. Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of people trying to find different ways

Starting point is 01:39:21 to get around it, man. Yeah, like there's a lot of successful people in Hollywood that say they're sober, but I hear rumors that behind the scenes they're not. Yeah. I don't know Jared Lettle personally. I don't want to call it, like say that it's him, but how's that guy sober, you know?

Starting point is 01:39:34 He's a rock star, fucking doing performances in front of millions. Is he in Kingsley on? No, I think he's got his own thing. 30 seconds to Mars. 30 seconds to Mars. Oh wow, that's a good band. Same thing.

Starting point is 01:39:46 Yeah, same band. But yeah, he's sober and he did Requiem for a Dream. He was in Fight Club. He was the guy that got beat up with the blonde hair, you know? Yeah, you'd think you'd have to gram out after that at some point or bowl up, but who knows? Like how do you come up with jokes? I just like to talk, I start talking on stage

Starting point is 01:40:07 or I'll think of something from growing up and I'll start there usually. I think I like a memory from growing up. That usually makes me feel pretty good and then I'll try and come from there. I don't like telling jokes when I don't feel happy though. So if I'm in a bad mood, man, which I've been in for a while,

Starting point is 01:40:23 I don't like telling jokes that much. Yeah, the whole year of recovery while my eye was growing back, it was fucking hard to think of jokes. Were you agitated a lot? Yeah, and I just thought I would never have confidence again. Not the confidence part, I knew that eventually I would stop giving a fuck over time.

Starting point is 01:40:41 I would just get used to it, but I just was worried that what people looking at me and the first thing they feel is bad for you. Oh yeah. How does that translate as, how can I make people happy and make them laugh? That's gonna be tough to overcome that, but. Oh, that's interesting.

Starting point is 01:40:57 Yeah, and then do you become like a charity case or anything like that? Yeah, you become a charity case. Whenever you walk past somebody and you see like they're in a wheelchair or they have like a fake prosthetic leg or something like that. It's always the first thing you're drawn to naturally,

Starting point is 01:41:10 you know, just as humans, that's what we do. It's a surprise. Yeah, exactly, it's just a shock. And then it's like, oh no, I'm a comedian. And then it's just so hard to get past that fucking prosthetic leg or something like that. Yeah. That's a comparison.

Starting point is 01:41:23 People are like, oh, come over here and see this one like a guy who's a great comedian. You know what I'm saying? People are just like, they're where their brain goes. You can be staring at that leg the whole time. Yeah. But I watched Michael Bisping documentary on how he lost his eye

Starting point is 01:41:35 where it was like battling his eye stuff and he was getting surgeries on it and one of the surgeries got infected. And that's when he eventually like, I think he lost his eye. I'm not sure exactly, 100%. I'm supposed to talk to him soon. It doesn't work well, but he still has it in his head.

Starting point is 01:41:52 Oh yeah? I saw it. He took it out? I saw a thumb. He can take it out completely. If you take it out, it doesn't really attach. It's not like an iPhone charger. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:42:01 No, unless this is, oh no, so he lost his eye, 100%. Yeah. And he won the belt with one eye. Yeah, he beat Luke Rockhold. That's not saying much, you know? He won the belt. I didn't hear the crazy part. I'm just kidding.

Starting point is 01:42:16 The Luke Rockhold, if you watch this, I don't know, I know you got a lot of use to it. Luke Rockhold's so good looking dude, we can make fun of him. Okay, yeah, that's true. That's the only thing. I love you Luke, but he's gonna be fine. Okay, I'm saying.

Starting point is 01:42:26 Luke Rockhold dude, if he doesn't have a fight with UFC, he's definitely going a few rounds with somebody's wife somewhere, okay? Oh yeah. Luke Rockhold is doing fine, bro. Yeah, so he beat Luke Rockhold for the title, he won the belt. One eye, then he should be the super champion.

Starting point is 01:42:43 Yes, because pound for pound, how much is an eye way? If you take that out of the head, bro, that's a magical ounce. I think if Khabib or John Jones had to wear eye patches for all those fights, they're not having perfect squeaky clean records, you know? I don't give a fuck. Dude, this thing might've just,

Starting point is 01:42:59 because here's the crazy part, I've talked to him 20 times in person and never even realized, I knew he'd had a bad eye, but I just thought it was just detached. I didn't know that it was unworking. Yeah. That it was a fake eye. You'd never know.

Starting point is 01:43:12 Can you tell with mine? I'm just kidding. Oh my God, bro, yeah, you did for a second. That's fucked up, especially on this topic. Now, I'm making an apology video. I was doing a prank on Theo there that was not meant to be disrespectful. Fuck man, that's racist, dude.

Starting point is 01:43:27 I'm playing with fire. Oh, look at your eye, you take out. I might run into eye troubles in the future. I'm fucking really playing with fire. I'm making eye jokes like that. You wonder, sometimes I wonder of all the things being recorded since we record so much stuff,

Starting point is 01:43:42 how easily it would be for anything to come back and haunt you, you know? Somebody just makes a deep fake on you. Notice your life in the future, like say anything happened, you're like, well, you said this and it's just like, this is just karma, you know what I'm saying? Losing your virginity, I don't even remember that.

Starting point is 01:43:57 I don't know why, it's not even true. Yeah, you're right, we're fucked. We're fucked, we did it to ourselves. This is what we signed up for. I know we did. You know, it is what it is. But what did we sign up for, that we wanted people to know who we were?

Starting point is 01:44:12 What did we sign up for? That's what I wanted. I think to be remembered, so when we have our great, great grandchildren, they could look at our old podcast and see when we talked about fucking, I don't know, ketamine therapy. But you know what, it'll be though, it'll be,

Starting point is 01:44:29 it'll be a three minute best, all the episodes will be surmounted into a three minute best off clip. I mean, even if I go watch Muhammad Ali, sometimes I'll watch a whole fight once in a while. Yeah. But mostly I just go see Muhammad Ali's greatest moments. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:44:45 You know, and it's six minutes of great moments. But you're a busy guy, I'm sure a lot of people, like, you know, people are submitting questions, maybe they got time to watch the, the, A full segment? Yeah, they could do a deep dive into Muhammad Ali, you know, I don't know where we make the content, so we don't get to consume as much

Starting point is 01:45:03 because we're too busy making it. But I think you gotta make time to consume too, just not all the awareness stuff, you know, like you gotta find your places to find your content. Yeah. And what is it, Netflix? No, I don't wanna fucking watch Netflix. Not super often, a lot of it.

Starting point is 01:45:20 I don't know, Hulu's hard to manage. I will say this, Netflix is the most manageable with the remote. Yeah. Hulu is hard. Hulu's like having a diorama, dude, and asking it to change. I don't even mess with it anymore.

Starting point is 01:45:32 It's got too confusing for me, I won't even touch it. It switches to two different interfaces, it's very, very strange. And Spotify is tough too, because I used to watch Joe Rogan's podcast on the TV and fall asleep to it. No disrespect, it's just, you know, that's when I have time to watch stuff.

Starting point is 01:45:47 Oh, do you? Consume, it's at night. And you can't do that anymore with Spotify. So I haven't watched Joe Rogan podcast in fucking, probably a good year, you know? Yeah, when he gets on there with that spacey brother, dude, that's when I would really zone out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:02 Tyron Woodley or whatever that guy's name is. Tyron Woodley, no, he's not talking about fucking space. Montgomery, what's that guy's name? I don't even know if he's got that Afro kind of. Tyron Woodley believes in space. You know, I saw a billboard for the Tyron Woodley fight and it was only Jake on it. It was, it was on sunset.

Starting point is 01:46:22 This guy's a UFC champion. And you have only- That's messed up, dude, unless Jake made that part of his contract. It's a showtime in the corner. Like how disrespectful can you be, you know? Oh my God, come watch his fight. Only one guy, he's gonna be fighting someone else.

Starting point is 01:46:39 He's just fighting his own, how much money he's, he's fighting his bank account, how much money he's gonna make. He's fighting with his accountant after. Man, that's like my fucking crane video. I put the uncensored one on Patreon. Like this is like just me doing something. Like it's, you get to, it's like a pay-per-view.

Starting point is 01:46:55 Yeah, totally. But it's just me versus crane. And how much did people pay over all you think? Well, I got, I broke the record on Patreon. No way. Some of my subscriptions. Yeah, for like just, a lot of them came just to see the video on them left, but now I do like extra podcasts there and stuff.

Starting point is 01:47:07 But um- For that one month. We had 47,000 people signed up. And how much is the Patreon? It was like $5, $10 a month. Wow. $20 if you want to see some nudes, slip some nudes in there. Really? If you-

Starting point is 01:47:18 But I never did, I never worked out the confidence to do it. I just put that option out and then I backpedaled quick. I was like, nah, I can't do this. Yeah. I don't know if I'll like how my body looks. Sometimes if I'm with a woman, I'll walk out of the room backwards so they don't see my butt. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:33 Oh yeah. Backwards you go. Wow. That's a different technique. Like a crab? Like- No, not like that. No, no, no.

Starting point is 01:47:42 I was standing out backwards. Okay. If I did it like that, they would almost say that's cute, I think. But the other way is a little bit weird. I walk out literally like a fricking quiet Korean girl, you know? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:53 It's like a moonwalking Korean, just- I forgot what we were even fucking talking about. We had one more thing we were gonna talk about. What was it, Nick? Did you wanna talk about the Taliban? The news. Still being allowed on Twitter? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:48:06 Oh, the Taliban. Yeah. Yeah, I thought we got into the Taliban already. No, we didn't. We kind of talked about the plane. Not specifically that they aren't kicked off Twitter. Other social medias. Taliban uses sophisticated social media practices

Starting point is 01:48:20 that rarely violate the rules. Wow. So the Taliban, is this right, Nick? They're allowed to stay on Twitter. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm not all for censorship. Yeah, that's a poor free speech. The Taliban did try to kill my mom,

Starting point is 01:48:39 or it could have been the aliens. So, you know, I'm not a big fan of the Taliban. Good call. So I mean fucking ban them, you know? Block them off Twitter. I think they deserve to be banned. I agree. On Tuesday, I did not find a single fact check

Starting point is 01:48:57 on any other tweets or any warnings for false misleading content. And the part that's wicked about this is that, this is just Twitter just saying, we will make money off of anything. We will literally let people put, or does that mean they can put like beheading videos and stuff up there?

Starting point is 01:49:16 That doesn't mean that, does it? No, I think it said, that would violate their terms of service. But Trump's still blocked off Twitter? Yeah, that's how this article couches it, that Taliban is allowed on, where well, ex-President Trump is still banned. That's crazy.

Starting point is 01:49:37 To me, that's crazy. I mean, it's just crazy that you could have, just because, or what does the Taliban exactly stand for? How does the Taliban make money? Just robberies? I think views on those beheading videos. They're getting the ad sense? And I can't even get an ad sense

Starting point is 01:49:52 on my fucking barber videos? God damn. I think they sell opium too. Bro, you gotta quit taking off the hair and just take off the whole head. You know, you're aiming a little high, Jeff. Season three, yeah, it's all beheadings. Just only on Twitter.

Starting point is 01:50:09 We're gonna have to switch platforms. Yeah, YouTube's tough. Yeah. They were cracking down on me for a bit. Were they? What were they upset about, do you know? Just a lot of blood and gore with the documentary. The whole thing got age restricted. A lot of my barber videos got age restricted

Starting point is 01:50:27 just because edgy jokes and stuff, you know? Once you start getting a lot of attention on it and they start like human reviewing your stuff, then it's like pretty much anything you do, they could fucking hit you for, you know? Damn. And for a while I was on their good side. Every video would go on trending.

Starting point is 01:50:44 And then after that, I think it did like one beheading or something and just slipped in there. And that was it on their bad side and they age restricted like my last 20 videos. So it is what it is. Go back to selling weed. Yeah, I wouldn't buy some anyway because I'm just trying to get to this four step

Starting point is 01:51:03 but I would probably, as soon as I get through all 12 steps, I might buy some. Okay, yeah. Maybe it'll help you when you're not feeling so good. Write some jokes if you're not feeling happy. So no, there's anything to get on my head. We'll disconnect at night. Turn off your brain.

Starting point is 01:51:19 Yes. Turn off Hulu, turn off fucking YouTube. I got really into UFC like you did over the past year. And even on YouTube, like all I'm recommended is, oh, Conor McGregor said this and they put a thumbnail of him like, and it's just his tweet, you know? But I just get like roped into all those and I'm just watching UFC drama now.

Starting point is 01:51:38 Yeah. There's some good dramatists out there though. I guess it's like WWE for adults. Like if you follow the drama that they talk shit on each other outside of the octagon. So good. And then you watch the actual fight. So I hope Darren Till is okay, man.

Starting point is 01:51:53 I know he's just posted the other day but he's been kind of on and off over the past year. And he's one of the best. I feel like at talking shit on that. At talking shit, huh? Yeah. Yeah. So funny, Dave. He just went across like four weight classes though.

Starting point is 01:52:07 Now he's in middle weight. Who knows? He's basically, he's like the whack-a-mole of weight. He's like weight-a-mole. Yeah. He'll like just literally pop up like straw weight, middle weight, you know, female fly weight. That's something that's not easy to do.

Starting point is 01:52:19 No, it's not. I learned the hard way. I told you I got my ass kicked by that juice step guy on steroids. You don't go after those guys that are just 40 pounds heavier of muscle than you. If you went after him now, would you do something different

Starting point is 01:52:30 after watching some of you juice? You do steroids too. Even the playing field. Yeah. Yeah, fuck it. I'll get on the juice drill pack on 20 pounds. Yeah. Let's both go out at same weight class.

Starting point is 01:52:39 I would like to, you know. If White Claw came out with steroids. Yeah. That's a good brand. That's a good brand. Or Nelk. Nelk started selling steroids. Bro.

Starting point is 01:52:50 Nelk boys, we just did a new drop. You gotta get it right now today only. Everybody buys it. Whoops, too late. We sold out. Too late, bro. Get it next time. Maybe next month.

Starting point is 01:53:02 Empty. Yeah. Yeah. Bro, Folson steroids, bro. Can you even imagine? Dude, every fucked hard kid with a fucking shitty bicycle would be yoked out of his brain. They would have to sell those out of India or something.

Starting point is 01:53:20 You'd have to go. Dude, if somebody, here's what we need. Somebody to start marketing steroids to Indians. Dude, I'd love to see a bunch of jacked. Oh, you're right. There is no Indian UFC fighters, really. Does Dana even go out there? Maybe Dana needs to take a trip out there to look around.

Starting point is 01:53:36 Maybe you'll find some talent. There's a billion people there. I think they need it. Start some pizza shops over there first. They need a little bit of New York, New Jersey over there. They need some sustenance. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of Indian food.

Starting point is 01:53:47 I wouldn't be either. It's hard to fight on Indian food, I think. If you've had a bunch of Indian food, I'm not going to know a ring after that. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I'm a picky eater. I don't really like any other food, but fucking steaks.

Starting point is 01:53:59 I just eat steaks three times a day. Damn, really? Yeah, I'm just trying to bulk up. Damn, you're like Jordan Peterson, dude. I'm going after that guy. They kicked my ass when I was 15. Fuck yeah. I'm trying to get on his weight class.

Starting point is 01:54:12 I would fight him. I'll track him down. I'll try to track him down. Yeah, I would fight him for you. Yeah, I don't want to put his name out here now because we have such die-hard fans, they might go attack him. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:54:23 And this is between us, you know? This is between me and him. I don't want to send my fan base after him, like a fucking little YouTube and Weasel. Nah, this ain't no to-go order, baby. We serving this beef, keeping this beef in the restaurant. We'll talk about it after.

Starting point is 01:54:36 All right, we'll talk about it. We'll look up his Facebook or something, I'm sure he's on there still. I like it. Yeah, Jeff Weddick, man, you'll have to cut my hair sometime, please. Absolutely. Would you?

Starting point is 01:54:47 Yeah, I would love to. That's cool, man, thank you, bro. Got the new Mobile Barber Shop coming along. Okay. Pull it up right here. Go do a van or something? It's an Airstream. Good.

Starting point is 01:54:55 It's an old trailer, and I pull it in my old Silverado. Oh, yeah. It's a janky setup, but it's, you know, it gets a job done. You heard that song Silverado for sale? No. It's pretty good. Oh, look it up.

Starting point is 01:55:06 It's really good. I didn't want to admit how much I like it, but it's good. Silverado for sale? Yeah. Oh, there you go. There it is, yeah. Well, look, yeah, man, save up, uh, yeah. This is a real janky setup.

Starting point is 01:55:16 I'm releasing my own hair products soon. Oh, look, there's my doctor, who's the first comment, Dr. Aiman. He's the one who did my brain scan. He gave me a bunch of vitamins for my brain. Told me to do hyperbaric chamber a lot. Oh, damn, they've got you in the chamber, huh? Yeah, he did the, like the visit.

Starting point is 01:55:32 He's kind of like a psychiatrist too, so he talked to me about a lot of stuff with my brain, like what might be causing some depression stuff. And he did it for a social media collaboration, but then I got hit with a bunch of messages saying, oh, that guy's a scammer. He's showing you a different brain scan, somebody else's. Really?

Starting point is 01:55:48 And I'm like, I guess there's no way for me to tell. I don't have my own brain scanner to be like, it's true. Yeah, it's true, huh? Yeah. It's great. The people that control the fricking equipment, that's who controls it all. What if they're just sending out bad brain scans?

Starting point is 01:56:00 Someone told me the other day, they think the people testing for COVID are putting COVID into people. Yeah, that makes sense. And that blew my mind. That's a whole nother. That's a whole nother episode, yeah. How'd you get to handle Jeff?

Starting point is 01:56:14 We've had Jeff and Jimmy on our show now. Oh, that was easy. I just, I looked up who had it, I tracked them down, and I fucking made them an offer, we can't refuse, you know? How much did you offer him, 15? No, I killed him, I killed him. That's what it means, you never saw the Godfather? Dude, I'm telling you, we had him in a different way.

Starting point is 01:56:32 You never saw the Godfather? You know, I saw, I did see the Godfather, yeah. That's what making an offer, you can't refuse. Oh yeah, making an offer, you can't refuse. Yeah. Yeah, no, you actually guessed it the first time I gave him two grand. You did?

Starting point is 01:56:46 Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. You know, did you know that Marlon Brando actually was gay? Was he really? Yeah. I believe that.

Starting point is 01:56:57 Yeah, turns out that he moved out to an island and had like, I mean, I don't, I could be spreading misinformation now. Now, look. Is this true? Yeah, it's true. Some people even say Richard Pryor and Marlon Brando hooked up.

Starting point is 01:57:12 Oh yeah. That's the rumor. There's a long minute, I think there's a level of, when I get the first thing I think about it. And for that to come out about basically the biggest mob boss in movie history, you know, like in history, you know, whatever fiction, nonfiction, it's all blended together now.

Starting point is 01:57:30 It's all, it's all blended. I mean, we're all 11% gay at least. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everybody's a little gay now. Do you think that we are headed towards a place where everybody, like I often think with like race, right?

Starting point is 01:57:47 Where some of us are different races or cultures, but eventually in 10 decades or 10 times of having children, we're gonna be, everything's gonna kind of, we're gonna be beige. Everything's blended together like the rock. Everything's gonna be beige. Everything's gonna be Hawaiian.

Starting point is 01:58:01 Yeah, everything's gonna be Hawaiian. That's actually what it's gonna be. It's gonna be kind of Hawaiian or on a plane to Hawaii kind of ethnicity. But do you think that that same, like sexually, do you think we're headed there? Or do you think it'll always be kind of predominantly heterosexual with some

Starting point is 01:58:17 like people that are pan or A or homo sexual? I think it's just everybody's gonna blend together. You do see, I think eventually it'll just be beige. Yeah. I already feel like this happened throughout my life. And I'm only fucking, you know, I've been around 31 years and I've seen it happen. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:58:41 I feel like, I don't know. Yeah, it's definitely different. It's definitely happening fast. I just wonder if that's, I wonder what nature's plan is. Cause I could see how we shape things, how the media wants to like make everything very homogenous or whatever it is. But I wonder what nature's plan is sometimes.

Starting point is 01:59:02 I don't know. I don't think it's up to nature. I think it's up to Elon Musk, whatever he wants to do. You know, the guys pulling down planets that are full of gold. He's gonna be the richest man in the world. You know, that's this whole SpaceX thing. Trying to get the Mars to colonize. He wants to get some diamonds out of some.

Starting point is 01:59:20 Oh, if he pulls the first diamond out of Mars or something, then that's. A giant diamond. That's checkmate. Yeah. The richest man in the world by like not even close. When you show up with a new metal. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:59:33 Yo-in. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Maybe that's all we're searching. Maybe you're searching for new metal, man. Well, you gotta get up in space. Yeah. We're not gonna find it here.

Starting point is 01:59:41 It's too many people already digging around. We're down here cutting each other's hair, dude. Maybe if I can need to be up in space. We need to get up to space. Yeah. We'll do it, man. My team of 20 year olds are working on getting us up there. We'll do it.

Starting point is 01:59:53 Grand Theft Astro. Jeff Whittock, thanks for coming in and spending time with me, man. Thank you. It's a pleasure and I appreciate your earnestness, man. And it's nice to meet you, I'm a fan. Oh, vice versa. This is great.

Starting point is 02:00:03 I look forward to cutting your hair one day. Yeah, soon, brother. Yeah. Practice on yourself in the meantime. Maybe I'll do a little on the sides. I don't wanna do too much, you know? No haircuts until. Okay.

Starting point is 02:00:14 I'm gonna pull up the band. Hold on, you got it. Yeah. Okay. Amen. I'll try my best. Thanks, brother. Now I'm just floating on the breeze

Starting point is 02:00:21 and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones. But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind. Shine that light on me, I'll sit and tell you my stories.

Starting point is 02:01:02 Shine on me, and I will find a song. I will sing it just for you. And I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of power and head.

This Past Weekend - E354 Jeff Wittek

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