This Past Weekend - E382 Teenage Easter

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

Theo is back from the road to discuss forbidden yogurt, boob smoke, false alarm children, and S-cakes. Riley gives us a love life update.  -------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: theovonstore.com Podcastville mugs and prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com -------------------------------------------------- Support our Sponsors: Babbel: Go to https://babbel.com to get 3 months free with code THEO Bridge Credit Solutions: Schedule your free credit audit today at https://www.bridgecreditsolutions.com/theo Modiphy: Go to https://www.modiphy.com/theo to get 50% off your starting cost -------------------------------------------------- Music:  “Get It While You Can” by Robert Finley https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61FcT0T4H6Y -------------------------------------------------- Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 -------------------------------------------------- Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips -------------------------------------------------- Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Riley https://www.instagram.com/rileymaufilms/?hl=enSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oh, yeah. Just got back, baby. Just got back off the road and just I'm going to go out to eat in a little while. And so I was trying to get me a little tight, a little tied over, you know, snack, a little. I had me about nine almonds and it had me two yogurts, I'm going to be honest with you. You know, there's a time in my life where I, you know, I probably wouldn't have told anybody that I had yogurt, especially a man. I wouldn't say, hey, man, I just had just had some yogurts.

You know, I'd have lied. I'd have lied and I'd have said, yeah, I just had some more, you know, some ice cream or something or some, you know, real warm ice cream, but I like yogurt, man. I like it. It's just that, I mean, the thing, it feels like it shouldn't be eating it. And I'm not sure if I've spoken about this before, but it just feels like you just shouldn't be having it, doesn't it? It feels like you shouldn't be having it.

It just feels a little, is it, maybe it's just in my head, it tastes like a, look, I'm a per, you know, I got a little bit of, you know, I got about probably 7% pervert in me. So when they crack me open, everybody's going to be a little pervert jumps out and runs, you know, runs across the morgue and, you know, up under the lockers or whatever. But um, but yeah, so I, you know, I don't, I, but there's something about, it's just, there's something about having a yogurt that just feel, it's like, I feel like there's, the part of me that's, that's, that's really, I don't know, it just seems like it's almost a little, it seemed a little young or something, does that, I don't know if that makes any

sense to anybody and I may be insane, but um, what's going on guys, um, just got back off the road, I'm going to talk about that, um, went to dinner the other night, went to like a fancy place, you know, just kind of faint, just, just, I mean, just damn, look like we were on the Titanic, you know, I was just waiting for the whole restaurant to just fill up with water. That's how nice. I mean, people just good day, you know, know, people just being, you know, friendly, nobody yelling the N word, nobody doing nothing, just a good place, you know, and um, and,

and we went and we were sitting by, I was sitting, I guess by this couple and I think it was like a first date or something, or maybe second date and this lady had these bangers baby. She had these damn front honeys on her baby. I mean like a couple of damn fricking milk bears and they were just getting ready for spring. You could see them just kind of, um, she had kind of a revealing kind of top on and you could see these big white damn, just a couple of Moby dicks, you know what I'm saying?

And she had on like a lot of powder, kind of different powder, you know, maybe body powder or something and she probably put about probably a half ounce up between them, um, you know, between them, between them, uh, them premier bunnies, baby, between them, you know, them hammer time front yams, baby. She'd really, she put a lot of powder. So anyway, some guy, this guy, she's on a date with us making her laugh. He's telling her jokes and they were the worst jokes, right? They were like just, uh, what was one?

He was like, what's, um, oh, what's the tallest building in the world? And it was like, oh, it's, uh, it's a library because it has so many stories. That's what he would say. And she would just die laughing, right? And I was kind of jealous she was having such a good time. But when she would laugh them, her chest would kind of juggle and just that powder would just, I mean, just, just buffing up, just, just muffler and, just muffler and up out of them, um, out of them big nodules, baby.

You know what I'm saying? Out of them big, uh, out of them big yogurt wagons, dude, just that powder would just like, um, it was like, it was like her tits were vaping or something. You know, it was like her, it was like her breasts were like hitting a thing of blue ice or whatever. I mean, it was just, and it was, and so then it was to kind of stop and then he would tell another one. And it was, I mean, just like, it was like Aaron Brockovich was going to show up or something.

You know, it just had that, it was, you almost wanted to call the city. I mean, it just got real smoky over there. Um, but yeah, that was something that happened at dinner. We went with this one gal. She had curled her hair so tight. I mean, you ever have somebody that curled her hair just so tight. I mean, just tight, tight. She couldn't even get her eyes when I saw her every now and then it's kind of getting

some water out of her glass and rubbing it on her eyes because she had just tightened that hair. She'd locked it. She's so locked open. You know, I almost wanted to just undo a couple of the curls so she could, uh, you know, get half a blink in, baby. She was real tightened up, um, but anyway, I was great. I was grateful to be eating and, uh, I, um, I wasn't even going to do an episode, but

I really, I decided, uh, that I wanted to be here with you guys. I wanted to be here with you. I, um, I wanted to be here with you. You know, I want to thank everybody who ventured out this week. Uh, it was, we, we had a couple of different shows. We started and did a small, uh, one night or over in Lexington and then we hopped over to, um, where was it? Then we hopped over to, uh, Lafayette, Indiana.

And we actually had a call that came in right here from a Lafayette, uh, visitor to the show. Here we go. Hey Theo, my name is Devin and, uh, I've been a fan for years listening to podcasts for a while. What's up Devin? And thank you for making the call, Devin is a famous English name, Devin. Hello Devin.

Oh, it's Devin, he's come, he's come looking for his dad. Let's hear more brother. Me and my buddies just saw you showing Lafayette, Indiana last night. We drove four hours in the snow to get there and man, it was hilarious. And I, you know, last year, really bad year for me, I, you know, had a girl rip my heart in my chest and I would suffer from a motorcycle accident and I just wanted to thank you for the part that you played and get me back on track because I'm doing real well now and it was just really nice to see you last night.

You know, it was everything I thought would be as fucking hilarious, dude. So, uh, you know, gang, gang, thank you. Thank you. Gang baby. Thanks for the call, Devin. And thanks for coming out there. Yeah. It got, aw, I mean, mother nature, you know, she started serving that eight ball.

It got real, it got icy out there and it was right. The bus was heading in, we parked in the back and it was just, the snow started building up. It was coming down. It was, I mean, shit, it was, it was damn romantic almost, you know, made you want to, made you want to touch your own penis almost glad you came out. I'm glad you guys came out and they, I think somebody, I hope everybody made it because they had a couple empty seats and I thought there's somebody because it was incline, uh,

it was inclement weather. It was inclement weather, man. It was, uh, you know, it's the kind of something you send your spouse to the store. You know, if you want, if you don't want them, you know, hey, Judy, why don't you go get me some of that, uh, prune juice and next thing you know, dang, Judy, you know, she goes, she, you know, that embankment gang, baby, you know what I'm talking about, RIPBC, baby. Yeah.

It was just an inclement weather, man. So it was, it was quite a time, man. We, you know, it was a great week of shows overall, um, somewhere when, when we got to Chicago, it got real fired up, man. That's when that, that crowd was electric. Uh, I thought the crowds at, at Lafayette and at Rockford, which was the next night, um, they weren't just, it was just a little bit more of a sedate vibe, honestly. It just felt a little more sedate in there, uh, but a lot of great folks, everybody I

met was great. A couple of nice gifts I got. Somebody brought me this into the wild book. Um, this John Krakar, Krakar got that hitter right here, baby. That little lit hitter from Nicole gave me this, another man gave me a Elon Musk book. Somebody, oh, this was the roughest, bro. So somebody sent me a, um, somebody sent me a flowers and a chocolate, you know, and I got backstage and the shower was cold.

That was, oh, that was another thing in, uh, in Lafayette, which is where produced or do Indiana is the Boilermakers engineering town. And these batches don't even have a damn water, uh, heater. And it was cold in that dude. I had a shower. It was so cold, bro. I could feel, uh, dude, I could feel my, I could, it felt like that movie Ice Age was playing in my ass, bro.

On six screens, dude, it felt like, oh man, it felt like a damn woolly man with was running around in my deal. You know what I'm saying, bro? It was, it was, there was no hot water in the thing. So I got in that shower, bro, and that almost killed me, man. That almost shook me down, baby. That almost didn't get out that shower. Almost didn't get out that shower.

But anyway, somebody sent the chocolates. There was a note on top and said, I can't wait for you to meet my son, your son. I can't wait for you to meet your son. And I'm first, I'm looking at your son. And I thought so, you know, I thought your son was like a Asian name. You know, I didn't sound like, who's your son? You know, I didn't know if it was like a Japanese guy or whatever. So I'm just thinking, who's your son?

I can't wait for you to meet your son. And then I'm like, oh my God, your son. Then my head goes, oh my God, because this has always been a fear of mine. You know, I've had my penis and nuts a long time and I've always suspected that this could be a reality. Somebody drops off that tall Bambino, you know, they put him in a basket. He's 14, but he's just in a basket on your doorstep, you know, it's that teenage Easter. All of a sudden for you right there.

And here was the crazy part. Then I look over my tour manager standing there, Tim, Bizzle, he's standing over there and he's dying. He's dying, bro, because he saw the look on my face. I was like, holy shit, somebody brought there, somebody brought my son and this was the wild part. Then I went through like, oh my God, thank God. Then I had a moment where I was like, oh damn, bro, I wanted to meet my son, dude.

Part of me was bummed that I didn't get to meet this son, you know, this alleged, you know, possible son. So that was, that was pretty, that was, that was quite a moment. And then somebody brought this little baby dragon head or something and they approached the stage within in Chicago and that was a little, that was a little strange. This looks like a damn senior citizen, like the last, look like before they take that last bite of like a, maybe a little cake or something, if you got a grandfather or something like that.

This look like a, maybe a, like a skunk got poisoned or something, but anyway, some nice gifts. Thank you guys who brought things. What's going on, man? Oh, the news. I see this, they had a lawsuit against Dennis Perkins in the Livingston Parish school system alleges Cynthia Perkins, uh, they supplied semen in the cupcakes and damn that makes you, I mean, that, he just, oh, that's like damn wiener fentanyl.

If that's in a fifth, if that's in a baked good, that's, you know, he just don't want that in there, baby, you know, and it's just, I guess that's where we're at is this. I mean, it's that maybe people are starving. I don't know what's going on. You know, I read grapes of wrath and, uh, and at the certain point, things get so bad they're breastfeeding each other, but I can't imagine, and even in Livingston, Paris, Louisiana, they put it in pastries. It says here and energy drinks.

Damn. Well, look. The energy, you could argue the energy drink part, but you can't, I mean, damn. You can't put a look, you know, you can't put more, you can't put more, you can't, you can't be doing that. You can't be, you can't be doing that on the Eclair, bro. You can't put more doodle in a snicker, bro. You know what I'm saying, dude?

What else? I'm not going to make this a real long episode today. I'm going to keep it pretty chill. I'm feeling a little under the weather. I got kind of sick actually in Lafayette. I got, that day I started having me a fever and so I wasn't feeling real well and, um, and here's another call actually that came in from there. Let's go.

What's up, Theo? This is Tyler from Dayton, Ohio. What's up, Tyler from Dayton and I spent time over there on, in Dayton one time I was on a balcony, man, and I was wishing this girl would, uh, I was wishing this girl would make out with me and she didn't want to. And that was it. Nothing. I just was wishing and she, she wasn't wishing and that's, but they also got that, that flight

museum over there. I remember. And if you like flying or you want to get into the sky somehow and you don't know how they can help you baby Dayton, those bitches want to be in the air, bro. You see somebody on the ground in Dayton, bro. That's a little bitch. Let's go more dog. Thank you for calling.

I'm just driving home from your, your show in Lafayette. Uh, I just, I just want to say thanks man. It's such a great time. My first time seeing you, first time at any comedy show, uh, like I said, I just want to say thanks man for being so vulnerable, you know, on the podcast and helping everyone that you help, you know, through their daily struggles. I mean, you help me just my day to day life. I mean, when I want to feel something, I just turn you on, man, it's, uh, I'm so thankful

that I sort of listened to you and I was finally able to come see you. Uh, just want to say thanks man on behalf of all your fans. We love you. Uh, just wish you the best man gang baby. Thank you. Thank you brother. Um, I love you guys too. You know, I love you guys too.

Yeah. It's been a long, you know, it's been a, I don't know what it's been. This is just my life and, uh, and yeah, I'm just doing my best and I know you guys are doing your best. And so yeah, I'm just grateful that we kind of have, we have this space where we kind of get to meet. And that's when I see at shows, I know, I see that there's a lot of people that are just similar to me, um, they don't always know what's going on, uh, and they just want

everything to be okay. Um, and I always get told that we have the nicest crowds that show up. I get told every time people say, all right, this is the nicest crowd. Um, but yeah, man, I'm just doing my best man and I appreciate you being, uh, you know, you're probably similar to me. That's one thing that people say sometimes you, you know, you like meeting people at the show and stuff. So most of these people are people that I probably, they, they know so much about me

and we share so much call or share so much that we've kind of, we probably would get along. We'd talk anyway. If we just saw each other in regular life. So, uh, pretty cool man, just happy to be a part of this group and, uh, and thanks for the call, brother. And thanks for coming out, baby. And thanks for coming out, dude, and lay off them S cakes, baby.

You know what I'm saying, dude, dang, I can't believe them, them teachers serving them things. Dude, if you get a S plus on the, if the teacher gives you a S plus, that's a, that's an illegal grade baby. That's semen. Damn. That's semen, bro. What are they doing?

You got a, what you got to go to, you know, ask a neighbor for something. If you need, you know, sometimes I know you don't have certain product, but ask a neighbor. You don't look inside of your body to, uh, to complete a recipe for children. You know, I'm going to brush up on my Spanish and I'm going to use Babel. That will help me. So I'm excited about that. Um, what do you think Riley Mao, would you ever have a semen cake? Would you handle, did you heard of anything like that?

What is that in your culture? What do they say about that? Um, I don't know. I haven't heard anything of that. All right. And have you ever, and, uh, I mean, I know you have a storied history with semen yourself and not even, you know, never getting it out of your own body. You know, which is, um, we've discussed it before.

Right. And do you, have you ever seen semen? Is it okay to ask you? I have not. Dang, boy. Dang, that's, I mean, there's just, I feel like there's a lot of it out there. But I'm proud of you, man. Thanks.

I'm proud of you, man. Um, what's happening? How are you? Uh, I've been well. Yeah. You've been dating. What's going on? Give me the update.

I want to know the, uh, the ins and outs of it. Yeah. I mean, um, there was this girl that I met over Facebook. Um, and we just started hanging out. And what does that mean? You're hanging out. You guys are walking around. You guys are looking at stuff.

Where was the first date you took her? I took her to a music show. Oh, okay. And did she like music? Were you guessing that she liked music or had she done something? Had she, had you seen her, maybe do a, get, you know, you know, do like this with her fingers or do like this or something? Had she given any clue to that?

No, the only thing I saw that she loved country music. Okay. And you could tell that. How do you know it? Uh, I saw on her Facebook. Oh, nice. A little recon, huh? And when you saw her for the first time, uh, did you meet her at the place?

No, I met her at a coffee shop. Okay. You met her at the coffee shop. Oh, you met her for the first time ever at a coffee shop after seeing her online. Right. And did you meet her outside or inside? Inside. Nice.

Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. More chill move. Yeah. Good. And so what happened?

Had it escalated or how, how, how did it go? Yeah. I mean, we, at least what I thought we were going on a couple of dates. Oh, okay. Okay. And what was it about it that you, that you liked her? Like if you had a name, if you had a name, two things about her that you like, just one word, she's just a, just one word, just one word.

She's cute. Hmm. That's good. That's good. And tall. Show me how tall with your hand. If you can. Uh, I mean, she's probably five, seven.

Oh, that's nice, boy. That's nice. You need that. At least I've almost, you got to have a decent amount of woman, you know, you want enough. You want enough. Cause sometimes, unless the smaller ones, they got more fire in them because the longer they get some of them, they've run out of fire. You've met a girl, six, five and she barely, you know, can't be, barely keep her eyes open

because the gas can't get, get up that high. Um, and what happened? Did you, uh, did you guys, did it escalate into a, you know, where you, did you guys ever make out or any, uh, no, almost. Okay. And what happened? You were you? So, yeah.

So we were at a karaoke bar. Okay. Nice. And did you sing anything? I did. Okay. Good. Good.

Look at you, man. Did you pick out the song? No, she did. Okay. Wow. That's good. That's good. What happened?

We sat next to each other. Um, her head was on my shoulder at one point. Which shoulder? My right shoulder. Oh yeah. And are you right-handed or left-handed? Right-handed. Um, okay.

Would you rather she was on your left shoulder or are you okay with that? I was okay with it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And then what happened? Did you have a, that's kind of when you move the mouth down there and you kind of take a chance. Right.

I should have. Oh, were you feeling it in your body at all? Did you, what were you feeling in your body? I was just feeling excitement. Okay. And nervousness. Okay. And when you're feeling erect or anything like that or you're feeling calm?

Feeling calm. Okay. Wow. That's great. Oh man. And then what happened? Then we left and I took her home. And did you, did you try to advance it at some point?

Did you say, you know, did you let her know what was going on like with you or how did you know it? Cause it sounds like it's over now. Yeah. So I told her a couple of weeks later, um, sat her down, was like, Hey, can we talk? And I just told her how I felt. Were you nervous? I was.

What were you feeling like? I was, man, I was so nervous. Just to give me four words how you were feeling. Happy, nervous. Oh yeah. I can only come up with two. Oh yeah. That's hard.

And that means a lot was probably going on because yeah, if you can only come up with two words, dude, and you had all those things going inside of you, we scared. Yeah. Okay. Scared. Oh, terrified. Damn. So you were really dealing with it all.

Right. So you sat her down where inside? Um, just in my car. Oh yeah. Boy. And did you park or were you driving? Park. Oh dude, I like to keep driving if things are going to be serious because at least something's

happening. But once you stop, you're like, things feel real heavy or at least put on the wipers. I do something to create like some type of a movement. But and what did you say to her? I told her, I was like, you know, that one song, you know, I really like you by Carly Ray Jepsen. She was like, yeah. So I said, cool, well, yeah, that I really like you.

Oh, you just dropped it on her, huh? And then what did you close your eyes after that? No, I kept them open. Oh, that's brave as fuck. I want to see your reaction. Oh, the gayest thing you can do, dude, and not even like in a homoerotic way is just say something real. And then just close your eyes, bro.

Oh, that's unbelievable. That's fricking serves whoever does that dude serve on one of them s cakes, baby. You know what I'm talking about. But now she basically said it was bad timing. Bad timing. Why? What? Oh, you were still just sitting in the car?

Yeah. Oh. Oh. Less to hurt, did it? Yeah. Fuck. And were you at her house? You still the driver somewhere after?

No, I was at her apartment. Oh, that's good. So then it's like she can leave and it's done. Right. But why would she say she it was to bad timing? I mean, just her family was visiting her. She had some friends from home and visiting her stuff happened with her car. Stuff happened with her car.

Like what? She had car problems. How does car? I mean, gosh, how does car problems? I never heard something, you know, like, you know, my blinker doesn't work or whatever. So I can't date you or whatever. Like that's, I don't, that sounds crazy to me, you know? Yeah.

Like, like I need, like, you know, my rotors are bad or whatever, so I can't fall in love or something. Like, what did she, what else did she say about it? I mean, she just said that her car got broken into, which I mean, that's crime. That has nothing to do with y'all's feelings. I don't feel like. Right. That's why I was really confused.

And what else? Because she said car problems. She, she was at a church and her wheel got stolen. Jesus Christ, Jesus take the wheel, baby, damn, that's just insane. Look, brother, if you get installed from that church, bro, you bad luck. That literally sounded like witchcraft, bro. If they, if people stealing from you, you out there, yo, yo shit's parked in the Lord's yard and somebody's out there jacking your wheels, baby, damn son, that's, look, that's,

that, that's, you know, that's, if that's what's happening, man, it sounds like then maybe it was for the best, dude, because that's crazy. I'm having car problems so I can't date, like, but I guess if your wheel gets stolen, I guess it is hard to date somebody, huh? I guess apparently. Damn man. Well, I'm sorry, dude. I would buy, I'd honestly put a wheel on her car, bro, if she'd go out with you, right?

So where are you back at now? Does ground zero? Yep. But still no masturbation, huh? Right. Unbelievable. Dang, big doll. You saving that thing, boy, my God.

I know some political men that would smell you nuts for probably a couple thousand, baby, damn. Well, good to see you feel healthy. I do. Yeah. Are you still growing? I am. Oh, that's great, man.

God, you got a lot going on then. You got a lot going on. Riley Mal, thank you so much for being here and telling us what's going on, man. Thanks for having me on. Yep. You bet, dude. What else is going on? Let me see.

We had a couple more calls that came in. Oh, we got to Chicago and that was, man. It was all awesome. I mean, it's all touring is awesome, you know? It's like you go when you get to see all these people, you see some of them in the street, you see some and it just like, like in Lafayette, I went down to the YMCA and got me a workout in right before the show. So I'm running down the street.

Some kid work at a candy shop. He comes running out. He's like, you want, you want some of these caramels, mother? And it was just, you know, just beautiful, you know, it's just damn beautiful, man. So just shit like that, you know, I'm trying to think what else happened that was, oh, in Chicago, we get there and there's a dude outside dressed as Captain America. And he was, he stayed outside of the bus for about two hours and he stood out there and he had a, he had a sign and I put this picture in the YouTubes so you can see it.

He had a sign on him and said something, I just saved the world, but I can't afford tickets to your show, which is crazy because there were $40 tickets available. So that's bizarre, but, but hey, but maybe that was a lot, you know, a ton for him. So anyway, we set him up with some tickets and, um, yeah, and I mean, he didn't even have mittens on and it was cold. It was cold. It was in an alley in Chicago. So that was pretty, uh, I mean, it's just crazy when Captain America is coming out to

the show or even just a third stringer, you know, when they're coming out and showing love, man, it was beautiful. What else happened? What else happened? I got to have my tour manager, Tim, on soon. He, he, he is almost the memory. He acts as the memory. Um, we had, yeah, Chance, Willie, Maddie Smith were on the shows, opening up tall Alex, and

we got to Chicago. This was crazy. We got to Chicago and it was just, I mean, it's the biggest show I've ever done. You know, it was, I think 35 something, 35 something hundred and man, it just, it was magical. Even just walking in that place and there was just so much love and I wish I could have done a meet and greet or, or, or jumped outside. There's just, it was cold and there's people rate.

I mean, people running to their cars, Chicago's the kind of place you're walking on the street. He falls, fuck them, bro. You keep going. I see people keep going, leave their fathers stuck in a crack. It's just the weather is right there. Jack Frost is, I mean, he's nipping at your nose, dude, and he's wiggling at your ass, bro. You know what I'm saying?

He's about to serve an S cake, bro. You know what I'm talking about? He's about to serve one of them, uh, Tanger, that one of those Livingston Parish nut desserts, baby. That's semen cake, baby. That energy. What are they doing? I mean, this kind of stuff has to stop, man.

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They work. They really work, um, what else? What else do we have? That happened. I mean, yeah, it was just so magical. I wish I was feeling better. I've had a fever for about four days and so my, everything just feels kind of, I think that weather got me, um, but I'm trying to think of some other stuff that we were on the

bus, I mean, the bus is just, you're just kind of, you know, it's tight confines on there and you breathe in a lot of the same air. So you can't get a lot of new ideas because your air has the same, it's coming to your body and going out. So you basically just huffing the same bullshit that's been in your brain because I mean, you know, if you, if you have some, an idea in your body and in your head and you breathe out, it's part of it's in the air, you breathe it back in and you just sit in there. You basically just, you just hot hoes hitting your own fricking, uh, poor choices sometimes

at some point, but I wanted to, I wanted to come and be here with you guys. Um, I wanted to take a couple of calls and see what was going on in you guys's world as well. Um, what do we got right here? Hey Theo, it is Jessica from California and I'm not sure if ladies are allowed to call in. Oh yeah. Ladies, welcome.

Ladies, welcome. Thank you. I don't hear a lot of that. Uh, anyhow, I just want to say I'm really taken by the last episode, the, uh, episode you had solo, um, talking about ayahuasca and therapy and all that. And I went to Peru myself into ayahuasca and the way you articulated it was perfect. Um, like giving your, like God giving us secrets away or giving your heart a chance to talk was really beautiful and spot on.

Thank you very much. Yeah. It's like your, it's like your heart gets a brain in it. Um, it's like your soul gets to fart kind of, uh, it's, it's unbelievable. I just got back from another experience, uh, with it, and I'm going to talk about that a lot. I'm not really ready to yet. I don't think, or I just, I don't want to talk about it in our, when I feel like I'm

on kind of a, um, when I'm, I just want to feel a little more settled. This week has been just a ride. And last weekend is when I did the ayahuasca, uh, the second time. So this has been just a, and then I went right into the touring. So it's just been a wild week. Let's hear more. And, uh, reminded me how much I need to get back to it because I don't think it's a one shot deal.

Um, and just thank you for your vulnerability because you show a good example to men on how to be vulnerable. I know you probably don't think that way with what you're struggling with, but it is good to have an example to the masculine about how it looks and what it looks like to be in touch with yourself and not to be scared of that. So you're doing great. And I thank you for your vulnerability and you'll see your own little chance to work. I love it.

It doesn't matter. Okay. Um, we'll be here yet. Shooters, shoot baby. Uh, I love you young lady. Thank you for the call. Um, yeah, you know, I, I don't really have any other choice. I don't think, but to be where I'm at in my life, um, and it is hard.

Sometimes I feel, you know, uh, sometimes I feel like a little bitch honestly in some ways. I know that's just a term, right? But I didn't have, I need, you know, I think part of me, I grew a little, I grew a little bitch in me because I didn't have that motherly love I needed. So part of me probably sprouted a bitch inside of me because I needed that. It's amazing what you will create, what you're, what you will create inside of yourself, uh, when you need it.

So, um, but anyway, thanks for the words. Yeah, I'm just, I don't know. I'm just trying to be alive and, uh, and yeah, I just, I don't know. Uh, the, the ayahuasca experience has been a, it's been really amazing. I don't know if it's, I don't, I have a lot of thoughts on it. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll get into it at a different time, maybe next week, um, when it just hasn't been such a jump, just a, it just hasn't been such a time. This has been a long, little stretch.

I feel rattled right now, kind of all over the place. Um, I'm trying to make it down to, uh, Mardi Gras to spend some time with my family in Louisiana. Um, you know, I miss, uh, I miss, uh, I miss, uh, I miss, uh, I miss, uh, I miss, uh, my hometown, some, and I miss my family, some, um, and yeah, I don't know. I really just, I don't know. I miss being around people that I know really care about me and who I care about. Um, so I'm going to go, I hope to spend some time doing it a little bit of that this week.

Uh, so what else, what else do we have? Um, do you have any regrets about the lady Raleigh? Um, I don't, uh, what do you, uh, do you feel like she was into you? Do you feel like, what do you feel like? Yeah. Um, I felt like she was into me. Um, did you do something that sent her away? Do you feel like there was a false move you made?

No, I didn't. Damn man, I feel for you. I feel for you. And do you feel like she had good intentions with you? Oh, definitely. Okay. Okay, man, but you're out there. You're looking for love.

Huh? I am. Gosh. You're right there on the front lines. Aren't you? But you're not even, yeah, damn. And now what if you get her to a moment where a woman and she wants to be sexual? You know what I'm saying?

She wants that Livingston Paris dessert, which are you going to do then? I don't know. I don't think it'll ever get to that point. What? It has to, huh? I mean, at some point you have to, you know, you just, why you just think you're not going to have that any luck with ladies? I don't know.

I don't know. So far not yet. But how old are you now? 23. Oh, you got time to kill them, man. I think if by 30 you haven't maybe gotten, you know, at least, I mean, what are you allowed to do sexually before you have to go to church, before you have to get married? I mean, how can you have any type of sexual interaction or it's just actual sex you can't

have? I think it's just actual sex you can't have. Okay. Okay. So you can get a little feeling and a little touchy touchy and do some heavy hugging, huh? Okay. Damn.

There you go. Wow. Boom. Man. And you haven't even had a wet dream or anything like that, huh? Right? No. Wow.

I'm surprised, dude. I'm surprised. Satan didn't just pry open that little tuna can, bro. Damn, brother. I'm surprised. Yeah. I bet a damn strong wind comes up your spine the right way, dude. You'll start, oh, you'll water the pants.

Um, yeah, thank you guys. A lot of great calls came in about, uh, the, uh, about ayahuasca stuff and thoughts like that. And I will get into it. Um, maybe next week, I'm still kind of sorting through some of my feelings because you come out that thing and you really, a lot of your peel is gone. So you just, you feeling just damn, you just heavy in the peach baby, you know, your peach is feeling real damn.

So, um, would you ever try something like that, an exotic drug, Raleigh? Um, I wouldn't. Really? Yeah. God is your dope, huh? Mm-hmm. Man, I love it. Oh, God, boy, I want to cut your damn arm up and eat that bitch.

Um, what else? You have any other, you want to say goodbye, Raleigh? Anything? Um, actually, I, now that I think of it, I don't think she had good intentions. Who's, oh, the date? Right. Wow. What, uh, what made you believe that?

I just feel like she was using me for all my connections. What, what do you mean? You're, what type of connections for, um, for all of my bands, her favorite artists? Oh, because you work in the audio and you felt maybe she was using you. Right. Wow. Any band in particular? Uh, yeah, Shine Down's one of them.

Damn, look, it's a, that's the world we live in, Raleigh, and that's the thing. I don't know if I want you out here with you, uh, you know, getting sprung out and hammering down on these chickens, bro, because that's the world we live in, Raleigh. A woman will come over here and she'll frickin', you know, she'll rub that little genie lamp of some little Christian just to get some damn Shine Down tickets out of him, you know? And that's the kind of shit that breaks my heart. Oh, man. How do you know?

How are you going to know in the future, Raleigh, if they're good, if they, you know, I guess it doesn't matter. You just keep trying, huh? Right. Damn. That's it, baby. Just throw your heart up in the air and hit that bitch with a bat. And then you just, you hope somebody catches it, you know?

You hope somebody catches it. And are you guys allowed to do homosexuality in your church or not? I don't think so. Well, damn, Raleigh Mao guys out here getting taken advantage of. It's dark, baby. On the way out, I want to tell you, um, that the last website you will ever need is now available from Modify, M-O-D-I-P-H-Y. They will build your site.

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You're starting cost. That's right. Cut that $4.98 and a half. And you'll have the last website you ever need, Modify.com slash D-O. Um, yeah, I'm excited to get to Louisiana and see my family. I wanted to make this episode because of the same reason we do, you know, we try to show up. So, um, you guys showed up for me this week.

You guys show up for me every week. You know, I don't think I tell you sometimes enough how much you guys mean to me and girls and just, uh, man, I just feel, I don't know, I feel like we're doing something. You know, I don't know what it is, but I feel like it's the right thing, baby gang, gang, you know, so you guys be good to yourselves. You deserve it. And I'm going to try and do the same. Let's hit this one on the way out.

This is Robert Finley. Get it while you can. Off his album, Goin' Platinum. Robert Finley. Get it while you can, wrap it up in bacon, You ever go to any of those church camps, Raleigh Mall? I have not. Wow.

You never have. Nope. You never went to a church camp or nothing? Not a. You ever been, you ever been at a, because I just don't see how you haven't seen somebody else masturbating themself, you know, I feel like a lot of times that happens with young men, you're somewhere else and see somebody masturbate themself and you never witnessed anything like that.

I have not. You ever had a brother? You have a brother? I do. And have you ever walked in on him on accident or something or, you know, bumped into him real hard and he came or something? No, I don't think so. Wow.

Wow. Y'all just have a different family, man. I feel like that's a lot of times, a lot of young men, they, they learn it like that, you know, they learn it like that. You get, I'm sure there's probably, if there's anybody out there, if you ever had a brother, you accidentally seen your brother masturbate or something, you know, and I'm not trying to be, you know, nasty or whatever, but I'm just curious the effect that has on you. Can you still look at him the same as everything's still okay between you?

And if you saw him, do you tell him, you let him know that or is that a private thing? And, you know, or if, or if your brother saw you, how did you handle that? You know, how'd you, how'd you handle that? Hit the hotline with someone that might be interested in chatter and we can learn from each other, nine, eight, five, six, six, four, nine, five, zero, three. Um, what do you think on that rally? Yeah. You heard the man.

Yeah, I want to thank Bizzle Gibbons. I want to thank, uh, Isaac Hecker, um, for the support this week, Colin Reiner, Raleigh Mal, Jimmy Rector, everybody who helps make, uh, this podcast and, uh, and the tour work. You guys be good to yourselves, baby gang, love you.