This Past Weekend - E388 Kyle Dunnigan

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Kyle Dunnigan is a comedian, impressionist and host of “The Kyle Dunnigan Show” on YouTube. Kyle returns to the show to discuss aliens, circus stories, and the perils of being a theater kid in high school. Kyle teaches Theo some of his favorite impressions. Find Kyle: https://www.instagram.com/kyledunnigan1/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com Podcastville mugs and prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com ------------------------------------------------- Support our Sponsors: Keeps: Go to https://keeps.com/theo to get your first month of treatment free Mint Mobile: Go to https://mintmobile.com/theo and cut your wireless bill to $15 BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at https://BetterHelp.com/THEO Babbel: Save up to 60% off your subscription at https://Babbel.com/THEO ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Jake https://www.instagram.com/jakerohret/?hl=en Editor: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/?hl=enSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

More than 50 million men in the US suffer from male pattern baldness. And hell, I don't know if that's good or bad. It depends on if you want to be bald or not, but a lot of men don't. And for those men, there is keeps keeps has everything your hair needs to deliver straight to your door with discreet packaging and proven results. That's right. There are only two FDA approved medications that prevent hair loss and keeps offers both. If you're ready to take action, go to K E E P S dot com slash T H E O to receive

your first month of treatment for free. That's K E E P S dot com slash Theo to get your first month free keeps.com slash Theo. I want to thank everybody for being a part of my life and I want to let you know that I have some new tour dates. Um, I am going to be, uh, Los Angeles, May 7th. We added a show there at the wheel turn. Uh, Albuquerque, May 18th, Midland, Texas, May 19th, Lubbock, May 20th, Dallas, Texas, May 21.

That one's almost sold out Savannah, June 2nd, Augusta, Georgia, Montgomery, Alabama, Columbus, Georgia, June 3rd, 4th and 5th. I appreciate all you guys love and support. Um, tickets are on sale now at Theo Vaughn dot com slash T O U R. That's Theo Vaughn dot com slash tour and, um, yeah, I'm just grateful for you guys. Thank you so much. Today's guest is returning, uh, for the second time. Um, and he's really, he's a one of a kind impersonator and comedian and

creator and he is a real unique man. I would say that if they had a hundred men somewhere, he'd be the only one like him, uh, we're happy to have him back and, uh, he has his own show on YouTube called the Kyle Dunnigan show. Ladies and gentlemen, today's guest, Mr. Kyle Dunnigan. Oh, dude, remember my fight idea? We haven't done yet.

What was it? Were we going to fight? No, who would win? I'm fast. I would win. You're stronger, but I'm, I'm faster for sure. I'm also, I can get down low and come up huge. Like I get low and like, what do you mean?

Like one of those like, like, uh, like one of those lizards that like does that big trick. Yeah. I have a very long torso and I can just suddenly, you'll be like, how do you get way down there and pop up huge. I would win. You'd be surprised. I, I, there's two parts of me that wants, you know, one that wants to figure it

out a little when we hugged a little while ago. I felt like I would win in a fight. Really? What did you just feel soft muscles on my back or something? I mean, I don't know if soft muscles is a real thing, bro. Is that you like Wagyu beef? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I felt that way.

I like a Wagyu cow. Yeah. I definitely felt a sort of, uh, definitely something that had been caged, you know, yes, yes. Well, you're wrong. Okay. Um, I'm very dense actually. Really?

As a, uh, yeah, just genetically dense muscle structure. Have you had your marrow tested or not? Yeah, dense marrow. Have you, have you had your marrow tested? Yeah, man. Oh, that's miserable, huh? Why'd you have it tested? Hmm.

I think I was having some chronic type of thing and so they tested it, but that kind of stuff's miserable. Yeah. I have this thing called them a liar. I never had it tested. Do you ever get punched in the face? Yeah. Can you take a punch or do you sort of get your bell wrong or your loss?

It hurts, but it also depends on how I am. If I'm ready for it, um, I think I can kind of do okay. I have no idea. Like I might have an iron chin or just paper. I have no idea. Oh, I'm curious. And there's only one way to find out, you know? You never know until you get punched.

What's that? I'm sorry. Yes. Should I get earpunched? Oh, there's so many notes. Our idea was we were going to match up celebs, be celebs and do our own, you know, not pretty that paper for you kind of thing. Well, you saw that Aaron Carter's fought Lamar Odom.

I didn't see that. Did that already happen or it's going to happen? It already happened. Let's bring up a clip of that. If we can, let's go to the clips. Um, but there's this big money in this and then me and you, we commentate on it, whatever would be our expertise at the table. Ooh, I like it.

Who would be a good match? That's what we're talking about. Cause we've got comedians like, you know, they have little fights, kind of like rappers or whatever. You just go, you sort of preamble with the fight and then you sort of announced they're going to actually physically fight. Yeah. And you can just keep it on mute.

Let's see if we're good at being commentators as we do this. There comes Lamar Odom into the ring. Now he's, and, oh, and there's Aaron Carter. Look at him. He's kind of bouncing. Oh, there's a height difference. It's intense. This reach is just not fair.

While you see Carter, there is nipple high on that brother. He actually is fighting a man who was in the hospital. Didn't he have a conco- he went into some kind of coma, right? Both these guys have overdosed, man. Oh, Jesus, man. Come on. This is not fair. And there's a, oh, and they hug at the end.

That's like when you hugged me. He feels this soft man. So obviously they must have showed the highlight there. Are there any highlights on that bout? That seems like an awful fight if that was the highlight. Lamar got the nod there. Who would be a good match? I think maybe what about Machine Gun Kelly versus Kelly Slater?

That'd be cool to just match names. Yeah. Like that. Or versus Megan Kelly. Oh, yeah. And I think Megan Kelly might win. They both have the same body style. Yeah.

I did her show last week, which I never thought I would do her show. But when someone just asked me, I always just say yes. That's my policy. Oh, wow. And then she did this thing very nice. But when people try to improvise, you know, it's, it's not easy. She doesn't like it or what happened? No, she, they did this thing, which is, of course, this is what she would do.

But she's, she'd be like, what does Jeff Goldblum think of the war in Ukraine? So you have to sit there and on this, on the fly, right? Like Jeff Goldblum monologue about the Ukraine. That's funny. I mean, it's like an impossible, you're supposed to give something. They call it yes, ending when you improv. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll be like, Hey, I saw you at the burger place.

You had that giant cat with you. Yes. Like I've given you something. Yes. And he, the cat has malaria. Yeah, you've added yes and yeah, yeah. But you don't, you don't ask an open question. How do I know this?

The groundlings. Yeah. I went to two classes. Worst place, place sucks. I went to two classes there and the teacher was a Native American woman, I remember. Karen? Yeah. I had Karen.

Yamamamu. I think I asked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool, man. They're nice. But that place, because who's more from the earth than the, or actual groundlings and Native Americans?

And the name groundling, you think that's all tied together? I wouldn't be shocked. I mean, it, it, I wasn't shocked when I got there and it's like, this is the groundlings and your teacher's Native American. I was like, it, for me, it made perfect sense. I thought, but it was my first experience. I feel like right when you get into Hollywood, everybody goes to the groundlings. Yeah, it seems like that's your way onto SNL or something.

But then you get there and then they don't even pay. These shows are sold out every night. They're sold out. They don't even give you gas money. Give me $5 to the sold out theater. Yeah. That's really, I don't know why they don't revolt there. They could tell a Judea at a certain point.

It really gets a little like, uh, yeah, they just take, yeah, there's not. A lot of taking, no giving. Give a little bit of gas money, I think. What, um, I was going to open a place next door called, like I wanted to become a multi-billionaire and just open the Skylings next door and pay everybody like $100,000 a week and just take all their talent. Yeah.

Like what now? Dude, and if the Skylings, if people airlifted into it, if people came, there was no parking, you just landed on the roof. You had to get it. Everyone gets a helicopter to. It'd be expensive to come in. Well, I'm a billionaire. Dude, what happened to COVID, bro?

Well, it's in China now, last I heard it. What? It's in China now. But how can a disease that is everybody has it or can get it, just be only at certain spots? That's what I don't understand. Like was malaria like picky choosy like that? I honestly have, I'm the worst person.

I have no information. I don't understand any of it. I don't know. I know this variance peeled off or something. I had it once. I don't know which one I had. I think I had the Delta thing or something. It wasn't that, it wasn't that bad than they put.

Yeah. It's just weird how it disappeared. Yeah. And it's funny because in the 19, what is it 19? I'm doing Trump hands in like 1919 or whatever when they had the other one. The Delta thing. They had, that one took like two years.

It doesn't matter like how much you have in terms of technology or what we've gained knowledge. We still needs two years to get out of here. Yeah. It seems. Yeah. It had a great PR run or whatever it did. It had a great publicist, the whole thing.

I mean, it felt kind of masterful, but it does feel, I mean, it feels like now that it's completed this, it feels way more like a lot more of a facade than it really was if it could just disappear, right? Well, I'm again, don't listen to me, but I think what happens is, you know, it mutates and it gets weaker as it, it seems to get weaker as it mutates. And so that's what happened.

Yeah. I know a guy, he was in my house and he died early on. And I, it was like right away, this is here and a guy, and he was dead. And so I immediately was terrified of it. Oh, wow. You know, when he was 50 years old, he was an old guy. And was he thick?

Was he smoking? Was he doing dope? No, he was a pretty straight, narrow guy. Did he work near like a smokestack or anything? Like, was there any like? No, he lived far away from smokestacks. He wasn't, didn't seem sickly. He was in that band, you know, Stacey's mom,

that guy, Adam Schlesinger. Yeah. And he was in my house like a couple of months before that. And he was just dead all of a sudden. So I was wiping down my tuna can of tuna. Whenever I got the grocery store, I just wiped it down. I was really paranoid in the beginning. You never gave, you never feared it.

I mean, I was just, at first I didn't understand it, but then once I had friends that people started dying, I was like, something's going on here. But I just felt like the best course was probably just to let it run, let it go. I don't know if all the stuff, it just felt, always felt very bizarre to me. And then how I could be in Tennessee and it's wide open

and you come here and you're like, oh my God, it's like a slave planet here. And then the numbers weren't that much worse. Although I will say, I guess when you're in a city, it is going to spread easier because you're more packed. There's millions, millions of people packed together. So I guess that makes kind of sense. It would be more in the cities.

In the cities, but it didn't seem like it was, no place was really spared, really. Yeah. Well, it just didn't seem like it. How would they let me fly from one place where people are just rampant? I know. It's still like that. You go to a place, put a mask on and you're like, all right. And then you sit down, you can take your mask off.

Some airlines, you got to lower your thing to chew and then put it back up when you're done chewing. And the other airlines are like, we don't give a fuck here at Delta or whatever it is. I kind of like that up and down. That part, I kind of like a little bit. You have a little more privacy on the plane. And as long as you get a snack, you get, it definitely makes you feel more like, somebody that's grazing though.

You're like, oh, if I get some food, then I'll be fine. See, here's why I don't like it. And this is just self-centered stuff. I look, some people look better with a mask on, but this is my money zone. This is where I look really good. Oh yeah. You do have kind of like a teeth, lips, and everything else kind of falls apart. But this is where I bring it back, so I can be like a five.

I don't know what number I am, but. No, you're not a five, bro. I think it's nice to say I'm a five. What? You are way more, you are better than a five, man. I've seen fives, man. And also most people are a five. Yeah, I feel like I'm, so you're better than that.

I appreciate that, but I think I'm probably pretty average. Looks wise. It's hard to say. I think if you go for a good run, right? You have maybe a couple. You challenge yourself with some, maybe even a spicy food or something or, you know, you know, I see you eating a steak or something. You're an eight.

Just by eating a steak. Just by the whatever. I mean, if you go for a good run, you show up sweaty. You kind of like that John Kusacky sort of, I'm funny. You have pretty good clothes. Like you have good shoes and stuff, which I think brings you up a little bit. Like I got a, I think my, my clothes game brings me down with that. Maybe more nicer stuff that might help.

I think you seem like the guy in like the beginning of a movie before he's going to like get it all together. Okay. I just downloaded an exercise app this morning. Was it Fitbot? No, it was Fitcoach. Oh, there's some new ones out. But yeah, I got these boots, man, these Rujo boots, and they're nice.

You know, this is ostrich. Is that right? Yeah. Ostrich. Yeah. Yeah. Are they bumpy like that? Oh, yeah.

Is that just what their feathers come out or something? Yeah. Cause the feathers come out. And the crazy thing is I believe that they send you also the feathers with, so it's almost like a, wait, what do you mean you believe? Didn't you get them? Yeah. But I did.

There was like a separate little package with each one that I didn't open up, but someone said that there's some company that sends you the feathers also with the boots. I don't want that. I don't know. It's kind of like, at least you're taken, it's almost like the guy that kills the animal and uses it all, you know? It's like it. This they want you to like use these feathers.

Well, I think if they do that, I kind of like the concept of a company saying, okay, you want this leather belt? Here's also the hoofs. Here's the horns. Here's the, you know what I'm saying? Like put a responsibility on the person who's going to wear the leather. Okay. Okay.

So then you can say, yes, I wear leather, but I use the entire animal. Yes. Yes. You know, I have a wallet made out of a, you know, you know, duck bladder or whatever. Goat bladder. I have, you know, um, you know, I have this little weed carrying case made out of like a hollowed out horn or something. Like I just feel like then if you did that, then you, they can't trump you by saying, oh,

you're, you're, you're wearing, that's a, that's a really interesting thought. And like a carton of eggs comes with beaks. Yeah. Like there's room in that carton to just stuff. Like you could stack 12 beaks right on there for, you know, I don't know. Actually, I do know, I think they can have a ton of eggs, man. So it could just be one beak. How do you feel about different colored eggs?

Like, do you feel like, are one healthier? I feel like the all white eggs aren't healthy. Is that just, do I just make that up? I mean, I will say that in the brown cartons, there's a little more crime. If you know what I'm saying, I will say that, but I mean, I'm just, I'm just, you know, people graffiti a lot of shit. But what I'm saying is that the, the white ones do look a little bit more like they kind of put them together as opposed to they were actually hatched.

If you get that hatched batch, you have, bring up hatched eggs, please. Fresh hatched. Right there. And there we go. Yeah. That's, oh yeah, that's gross. Yeah. If you can look at that, if you can look at that, you can see, and sometimes they even have some green ones.

Yeah, they get, they get really funky. Yeah. It's almost like the colors of tic-tacs. That's their based on. What percentage of, do you think there was some though, like a lot of fear created by the media around COVID? Oh, no doubt. Yeah. I mean, they grab onto something

and they just run it and run it over and over again. It's just saying something over and over again. Yeah. Is, is just, it just worms into your brain. You know, they need to just go, okay, we're gonna do this for 10 minutes. Since for 10 minutes. I don't watch them. You know, I just stopped watching.

I think a lot of people, their ratings are way down. It's horrible. Yeah. I think Fox News has the best ratings I know, but I don't know. It's all, but I mean, it's just, I don't know. I don't watch it. Who even goes to their television like at a certain time to see, so, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't even think that happens anymore.

But you know what did happen was they just found some alien stuff. They just declassified a bunch of alien. Is this true? I heard that they're getting people pregnant. Was that the thing? It said, I don't know, can you bring that up? I don't believe in aliens really, but uh, You don't?

Well, not really because I just, what bothers me is if you're gonna go across the galaxy and it's very large distances. Okay. When you get there, you're just gonna run you're just gonna hide. I just feel like you'd want to be like, we're here. You know, can you just imagine, they're beings like us. I mean, they're creatures of the universe.

Yeah. And if you're traveling this far. Okay. Why are you, why are you hiding? And then what weird experiments are you doing? Right. This doesn't seem to add up to a logical. Well, I think they used to do the experiments

when they were trying to figure out what was going on, if there was anything happening here. To me, I think it's almost like you ever have somebody take you to one of those, uh, local zoos, you know, the driving parks. A driving zoo? No. You ever have that? No.

In Robert, Louisiana, we used to have this place called, um, I think it was Larry's zoo or something. Larry's, uh, Postrophe S. Uh, Larry's. Yeah. One Larry, but, and they had all types of animals there, you know, and they say it's all types, but it's like a mule and they would like paint, you know, paint do stripes on it

or tie its skin, you know, to zebra. Okay. But they would have at least one giraffe. They'd have one, uh, antelope, you know, they'd have a couple animals that were, they'd have like a big, big cat or something in a cage and like keep it far away where you couldn't get close to it, but they would say it was like a dangerous animal. Oh, would you, they're saying they would paint them

so they would be like other animals? Just zebra. Zebra was the one that ever, they ever did that. I went to the circus ones, they had a goat and they said, they said, come see the first living unicorn. And this, as a, from a child, they just put the goat's things, they kept tying them together. So it's really, it was goat, two goat horns, they spun together.

Oh, wow. Over like years. We went to one thing in a middle school and this monkey starts pledging himself. It was like a window and everyone starts laughing and, and then he climaxes and everyone goes, oh, like that. And then, and he's looking, you know, monkey looking in the eye, he takes it, puts it in his mouth.

So it went from like, ha ha to, oh, to like, oh. And then the teacher tried to get everybody out of there. When you're in eighth grade, that's the funniest thing you can possibly see in there. And did he swallow you think or did it ever, at that point, everybody was out. You're probably like, locked in. Yeah, it was locked.

You probably like are now a pin power. He gave it a taste. Yeah. He wasn't. Did it look like it was the first time he'd done it or did it look like he had done, this is a practice. He looked like a first time. He saw everyone's reaction to the fact that he jizzed

and then he was like, what else? He was just, he felt the bug, like the performing bug. Wow. I think it's like, Charlie. You think that was crazy. Yeah, yeah, dude, that's insane, man. I remember, and I've told this story before in R.I.P. this one fella that I grew up with, we were in a hot tub,

right, when I was a child. When I was a child, somebody had a birthday party. Yeah. And everybody was excited. Nobody had a hot tub. So people are over there. And Louisiana's insane, the whole state is a hot tub. So it's insane to get a hot tub.

It's like, it's already hot and wet. Oh, well, yeah, it's just like, somebody's doing a crawfish boil in one part of the yard and they're literally boiling. And then you're sitting in a hot, it's just the whole, it's already, it's a hot tub of a stain. Yeah. So anyway, we all go over there. It's going to be a sleepover.

And there's just one fella who'd been ejaculating. Nobody knew. In the hot tub? No, no, no. Just on his own time. And nobody knew it, right? He hadn't said anything and maybe he might have hung out with older people.

He was a rodeo boy. Wait a minute, I'm confused. He masturbated on his own time. Yep. Okay, so why is this, like, why is that news? I don't want to get to it. Isn't that generally, okay. I'm going to get there.

So yeah, sorry, I was just setting up. I was kind of setting the table there for that. So what happened next was this. So we're all in the hot tub. Everybody's, you know, kind of just joking around, talking about baseball, maybe singing, or, you know, ribbing this one fella about his birthday. And that fella ended up dying years later.

But this one fella named CJ, he's under the water and he's been pleasuring himself, right? And none of us know. We'd never even seen it. How old are you? Huh? You're how old? Probably 10, maybe, and he was maybe 13 or 14.

He'd been held back a couple of times. Oh, God. And I remember he even had a, he was, he was like, he had shorts on and a belt buckle, which is fucking insane, right? He was like a real rodeo boy. Mm-hmm. Anyway, he pulls his wiener out and he,

he brings it out of the water, like just like lock nests in it, right? Right out the water and just starts spraying into this hot tub. And we didn't know what was going on, right? So there's one fella named Will, you know? God bless him, man. God bless his soul.

He grabs onto it because he didn't know if something was happening to him, like his body was leaking out of himself. Right, scary. It was going to keep going until there was nothing left of him. Mm-hmm. He put a tourniquet on it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like tie it off.

So he just grabs it to stop it, right? And the kid punched him in the neck. So hard, dude, that it was just, it was so many immediate things. At once, and it was just like. Well, he really grabbed his coxa to help him. He was saying like, let me stop this. To save him, yeah.

It's like if you saw somebody bleeding or somebody got, you know, somebody machete somebody and you had to help him. And how confusing. You're trying to help someone. They punch you in the neck. And we, oh, and none of us knew what was going on. What a crazy, like, I don't know, was it 13 seconds?

It was probably a very good thing. It was fast. It was insane, though, to just have that much go on. And then you're all just in this hot water. And then there's semen in there. There's just, oh, God. And you don't even know what it is, dude. Oh, we had no idea, bro.

You were just touching it. Like, what is that? You got out? Oh, people didn't know if it was like liquid ghost or what it was, you know? People were shocked, bro. I remember just people just like, you know, mouth open. People like someone guy got, he couldn't even move.

Was there, you know, like tag him. Like he got into a game of freeze tag. He didn't even know. Like just with, like, just like, like, God. Just the shock of it all. Was there consequences for this 13-year-old pervert? Not at that time. I'm sure.

I think at that point, people were afraid. Nobody wanted to rat the guy out. So he went totally unsubmerged, masturbated, submerged, and then came out of the water. Oh, no. He was just sitting there. We're all chatting. Oh, so he was like, blanking.

But he's in there, yeah. Oh, my God. So he could have been homosexual as well. You know what I'm saying? It's all boys there, but he was also a boy. If he was a man, it would have been way weird. But since he was a boy, I think it keeps him out of that pedophile. It's always interesting.

Like the age is where the government has to cut off. You're going to, you just have to make an age for, you know, laws. But really, it's a great gray sweeping area. The whole between 11. Well, let's just see this fella jack off. But a week from now, you can't walk, you know. But a week ago, you couldn't watch him. Right.

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To get your first month free keeps.com slash Theo. Yeah, I remember we talked about that last time you were here a little bit about just like, yeah, the first time we'd ever been involved in self-pleasure and just all that, that went on with that. Well, you had a good memory. Yeah, I remember just like weird stuff happening when you're younger and your neighbor, you go to a neighbor, you're just interacting with another family. And you think your family's normal.

And then you're like, oh, there's this whole thing going on with other people. Did you ever like, you know, like, were you ever like sneaking around anybody's house, looking at people's moms underpants or sisters underpants, anything like that, like at a birthday party or something? Because that kind of stuff happens a lot. I'm sure I'm trying to think of a specific story, but I'm sure there was always an interest in women's like underwear. I remember I had under my bed, I would take out of the magazines like women underwear ads.

Oh, wow. I remember my, it was suddenly gone, right? They never had a talk with me. But I think my dad probably thought I was like gay. And then he was like, oh, he's probably like, relieved not that he was against gay people, but probably like my life wouldn't be as hard because my mom had me singing and dancing. Yeah, I remember you shared some of that about your mom and clowns and just clowns.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really treating you like a married lady. My sister dressed up like a girl. She called me Kylina for like a lot of the time I was a child. And I was raised as a woman. And then- Wow, really? Had to come out as a straight man and it was tough.

Yeah. Oh my God, at what age? What age do you think you, do you think there were people that thought this guy was a homosexual? You know, probably. I know never really said, but I would say like I was in the theater. Oh, here's a story. This is a sign of the times. Okay.

A guy came in, a peer educator in high school, and he's like, we're going to get all the groups together. Okay. So he's like, I'm going to run on the chalkboard, the different groups we have at this school. You guys just shout them out. Okay. Jocks. Jocks.

Great. Okay. You read the jocks on the board. Cheerleaders. Okay. You know, smoking lounge. There's a smoking lounge group, you know? Oh, yeah.

And then someone went, playgays. And he's like, okay, playgays. Like now they would never write that on the board, but it said playgays on. And I was like the head, I was the president of like the drama. Those are like the head playgay. Oh, yeah. And then they're like, now ask someone from another group a question. Yeah.

And this girl from like the cheerleader popular girls goes, what do you guys like do on the weekends? Remember that? And I was like, I don't know what I said. I was like, I was like, why? I think I said, like we read plays. Yeah, we try on different Willie Lohman costumes. What's your problem?

Bitch. How do you invite me to a party? I think, yeah, if there's somebody that's in drama and they talk kind of, if they talk a little weird, people will call them gays probably. Also being skinny. Like I was really tiny. Oh. And tiny dancing.

Did you wear sweaters too? I wore sweaters. I wore sweaters, I wore turtleneck every now and then. Oh, God. You know? Yeah. I didn't have any girlfriend in high school. I didn't know why.

Yeah, dude. You were gay. You were gay. That's why. Yeah. You know, that's probably what happened. I think there's probably a half hour to a couple of, to a couple of months where everybody's gay at certain points in life,

whether they act on it or not. Yeah. Just like fluid. Everyone's fluid. Well, I think the river is just going, you know, since you're born. Here's the thing that's a true test. Okay. What are you looking up in your private time?

Like I have no, I've never had an interest to see like, you know, sexually guys cock and like guys, it just did not like enter my. Yeah. Even curiosity. Like maybe this will do some, I always knew that was just not for me. Yeah. And. Yeah.

Same. 100%. I've never Googled fellow cock or, you know, like God or like. Brown cock or brown boners. I've never Googled, you know, boy boners. I've never, you know, I never, I tell you this. I've watched a ton of porn. I've never even looked at the wieners in it.

Yeah. It's like, that's my wiener. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Or it's just, I've never looked at it. I look at it. I look at the, the entrance. What's that image?

Oh, yeah. I've never looked at that image before. I've never, can you name on one hand or two hands? And this is usually a gay test as well. Alrighty. How, how many wieners you've seen that aren't yours? In real life. Yeah.

Wow. So my dad's wiener, a flash of it counts. Jesus. I mean, I must have blocked him out because I must have seen more than my dad's wiener. That's probably like a urinal or something, but never, it was never like, no one's ever like, here's my, here's my deck. That's never happened to me. Yeah.

You know, it was like, here's my face kind of thing. It was always like a flash shower or something. I know like, oh yeah. Like when you go to camp and everyone showers together, I saw a bunch of dicks there. Just, I mean, keep going. Oh, damn, really? You were looking down. Yeah.

You're supposed to stay shoulders up. Naturally, you just go there and just someone's got to, you know, shower with it with a penis. Those aren't like hard cocks. Those are like shriveled shower dicks. So passive dicks. Yeah. How about you? What's aggressive?

I just want aggressive dick count, not like passive shower in your life. I remember like getting like, being under like a blanket or sitting like in a circle with some other naked boy when I was a kid. Just like, I don't know if we were naked at bathing to something. It was just seemed a little homoerotic and somebody's penis. I think I saw. But also, oh, my brother's wiener I saw. Oh, yeah.

You know, if you have a brother, you're going to see their wiener. I saw my flash of my brother's two at once. I don't even have a real picture of it. Dude, there was a fucking dude one time that what came, I remember when we were kids, we were waiting. My mom used to deliver all these newspapers to these different gas stations, right? And this dude came right up by the window and put his penis against it. And while we're sitting in the car, you know?

And my brother and I were just like in the backseat. And so we kept fighting to get like furthest away from it almost became like a game, you know? That's a guy thing to like, here's my penis. Rarely women are like, well, I put a vagina against a window and be like, look at this. It's always a guy thing. Yeah. Yeah, guys, there's something funny about having something to show people to. But my friend had this guy when I was like 12.

He was like masturbating with a blanket over him. And I was talking to my other friend down. We're all in the same room. Like a magician? Yeah. Like a magician. And my other friend suddenly made his face because he was like blank stop. And I was like, don't I'm trying to like be the, you know, the peacemaker.

Do you know the guy's name? Yeah. Yeah. I just want to say. Yeah. Can I guess it? That would just give me one guess. Which guy are you guessing?

The guy upset or the guy? The guy is jerking off. Okay. Go ahead. Oh, this is going to be tough. Rick. Yep. No, it was John.

Yeah, sure it was. Okay. Sorry. I messed your story up. Go on. No, I think that was a whole story. Oh, it was. Dude, I don't like the crazy thing is, is you suddenly have this crazy gun on your body

that like makes, you know, like really bad bullets. Yeah. Ineffective firing tool. But it's fun and it's cool, you know. But also there's a lot of shame that's pushed upon you. Totally. Well, you also don't know, you know, we had a guy call in recently and said that his brother taught him how to masturbate and I thought that there was some value in that because then it's

like a, it's almost like, it's almost like tribal, like I'm going to show. No, no, no, no, no. You don't feel it? No one taught you. Did someone teach you? I think I'd want to be taught. No, a magazine or something looking at something dirty. That's what it is because you find something hidden, then you look at it.

Then you go hide whatever caused you to do it. So then you're like, it's this real game of hide and go seek with people that, you know, or your parents or wherever teachers. Yeah. I just can't imagine now like what they have at their, you know, like I was saying like, bras was, that was it. Mainly like underwear pictures. Did you ever cop a bra or something from someone and keep that as like a memento kind of like,

you know. I think I had the opportunity I probably would have. I think that that would interest me. Fear of getting, you know, someone noticing, getting caught. Were you making love in high school or anything like that? I could not. I literally was like so tiny and skinny and I was like, the way I got to girls, like I was like a clown, I was clowning and then they would tell me about the guy they liked and I just

would have to go home and be like, fake. I was always like secretly in love with someone that had no idea. And I listened to like Phil Collins songs and it's sad. Damn boy. And I was, I was Uncle Albert and this Mary Poppins. You know, Uncle Albert is a humiliating, probably just ridiculous person. It sounds unbelievably and tough to be. This girl, I was in love with, she wrote me a letter and I was excited about it.

And she wrote, you make the perfect Uncle Albert. And I cried. So, so I realized she just thinks I'm just like a clown. But then later we ended up dating like 10 years, 15 years later, we ended up dating. It is funny how you get those chances years later, you know. It's, it's really great. Yeah. It's really great.

It's funny how years later those opportunities that train comes back around. It's a little worn down, you know, and the train definitely has a lot of uses a lot of spray tanner. But it comes back through town. You had that, were you kind of a popular kid in high school or? I was doing fine. I was doing fine. But I think my confidence was so low. Really?

Yeah. And I had acne too. And so I get so, I, in junior I had bad acne. Okay. So I'd be afraid to even like make certain letters of the alphabet because pimples would pop on my face just from the pressure of it. My skin was so tight because they put me on retinol or tenacthen or something. Mm hmm.

Yep. So, and I'd put everything on my face. I was so scared, you know, I was like trying to use anything we had at the house to get my skin better. And I would just be doused up and so my skin would be so tight that if I fucking hit, you know. Oh, you'd just start bleeding. It was that bad? It was just a pimp. You know, you hit a strong, you hit a strong constant, you know, batch of consonants or something.

Yeah. You know, we're in alliteration or something and bam, you fire off a little pore with fire. You know, you'd pop a pimple. You're just so scared to talk to somebody because you thought a pimple was going to pop and hit them. Yeah, yeah. So then you're kind of talking from back. You just fucking weird shit, you know, all in my head.

Meanwhile, other dudes with pimples are banging and fucking touching ass and everything. We had a retreat to some island and it was like seventh grade and it all coupled off. And then it was like, I was just with this group of guys that we just know girls liked us. And I just was like, because that's the age where you go, oh, girls don't like me. Like seventh grade, you go, oh, fuck, you know, or like I was in the mirror at a gap store. And it's like the three way mirror. And I saw like my nose had just exploded off my face. It was just like, see you later.

And I was like, God damn it. And that's where usually ends up with drugs or alcohol. I usually say you're standing around a fire. Everybody else is coupled off. You're there. There's a couple other fucking, you know, not nerds, but people that aren't getting no action there. That's usually when somebody picks up a stick, fucking hits.

You know what I'm saying? Like, there's some people start letting their anger out. Somebody fucking beat somebody with a stick. Somebody starts, you know, doing homemade coke. Like people start get, that's when, once you start realizing you were rejected, that's when that batch of misfits starts. But I tell you, you never get away from it. Let's say you're really popular in high school.

The pain will eventually hit you. You get older or something. And like for me, you know, I started old, didn't hit me. I already got hit when I was younger. So it's just not our time. But did you have a chance though? Was there a chance though, Kyle? I feel like you had to have a chance with a woman at some point in high school.

And you played it differently. I could have played it differently. Yeah. Oh, I go back and I had like, oh, that girl liked me and I can put it together. Yeah. I saw a boob when I was in, I think, 10th grade. Amen. In the moonlight, it was great.

I actually hooked up like, I'm kind of underplaying. My junior year, I hooked up a couple of them. Didn't have sex, but it was on things where. We all do an oral sex? No. Yeah, I did in high school get oral sex. There you go. I did.

Senior year. Yeah. Um, but anyway, it was very hit and miss. Yeah. I've had a girlfriend a long time now. I've gone on dates, but just, I've had a girlfriend, girlfriend like three and a half years. Weren't you dating some Swedish lady?

Spade said something about that. Swedish. Or something, Amsterdamian or something. No. We went out with these, made us talk about that. Didn't you and Schumer used to date? Did you guys do? No, that's, I really hope that like,

I got to wipe my internet search. Is that out there? It's like the first 90,000 Googles of me. No, really? We never were boyfriend and girlfriend. It's almost like it, it, it's like, it doesn't matter what I say. That's the internet is what the truth is.

Isn't that crazy? It's like, it doesn't even matter what you say or what's going on, whatever the internet has logged into it. That's it. Yeah, okay. That's the power of PR and everything. It's like, this is the truth. It's like we have, somebody has cornered the market on the truth.

Yeah, yeah. That's what's unbelievable about these people that own, own these websites and stuff. It's like, it just feels unbelievable that they own the power of, of what's true or not anymore. And also mistruth travels six times faster than the truth in general. It's the truth that's usually not as interesting.

So it's, and people want clicks. So it's just set up to send out the wrong information. Oh yeah. There's no stopping it. So that's just how it is. Did you, when you have sex, are you more like the attack dog? Are you more like in a, do you do it from like more of like a, are you more of like a,

see attack dog, that sounds like I can't even, that sounds like, like trouble. I don't attack anybody. Yeah. No, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying like you are a predator. Sorry. Are you more of like a like onward?

Are you more of, are you playing like a defensive? Are you more of like a defensive fucker? You'd think. Are we talking like during like actual sex, or like- During actual sex, man. Game on, whistles blown. I gotta say, I wouldn't say I'm hurting anybody, but I would say that I'm an initiator.

I'm an initiator. I'm not sitting back. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I would think that would be a little feminine to just kind of lie there and have a woman sort of. The worst I think is if you fuck and cross your legs at the same time like that.

How do you do that? I don't know. There's there, I've definitely seen images of guys like very passive men, you know, French men or whatever it is. And they, it just, it seems, that seems very effeminate to me. Well, in a relationship, you know, if you're having sex, I think there can be, I've definitely had times where it's like phoning, phoning in a little bit. Oh, yeah.

And that's a little passive. But that's, you know. Yeah, yeah. Are you in a relationship, you have a girlfriend right now? No, dude, no, I've been in and out of some dating and it's all of it has been a nightmare. You know, it's all good. I've been dating a lot. You do, I'm sure you do well.

I get like, my DMs are like, all dudes, like 99% just dudes and I go to shows. Really? My shows are like, which, you know, I'm happy to have people come to my show, but like, it is like all dudes and then like older women. Really? Like women between 20 and 35, like, do not come to my shows. They don't come. We got to get them out there.

I got a tour coming up and I'll send you the numbers back of the ratios. You know, like YouTube will say like your percentage of watch who watches you. Yeah. And it just says like 99 dudes on my YouTube. What, um, you don't, so you don't, well, let's find out what it was. Megan Kelly, cool. And where does she tape her show? She does serious XM show and it's on YouTube.

Oh, cool. And yeah, she was really cool. Nice. I gotta go do it. Yeah, you should do it. She's cool. Yeah, I would like to go. Um, is she hot in person and she's attractive?

Well, I zoomed, but she's attractive. Yeah. Wow. Does she feel hot? Did she feel flirty at all or no? She brought her husband up like twice. I would say no. Oh, but it's cute.

Oh, yeah. And if it married a long time, you think? Yeah, I think, yeah. Wow. Huh. She's not single. Maybe you're not doing it. No, I would still do it, but did you ever, uh, did you ever have a job as

like a lifeguard or something? I could see you doing like, did you ever try to take a job that would change the way that women looked at you? Like, all right, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do like a, you know, boat captain assistant or I'm going to do like a, uh, you know, uh, assistant manager or something. You know? I mean, the theater thing was, was like, initially it was like a lot of girl driven,

you know? Oh, because you're going to go there to find women. Yeah. They, so they say up and you dance with them and it's like, you know, it's a good mingle. Yeah, I could see. I guess that's true. And I also, yeah.

Getting into like theater and then also in the, you're usually like one of the only straight men in the group. Oh, if you can sneak in. Yeah, when I got to New York, I started doing that because it was, uh, yeah, it was slim pickings for the women. I felt bad for the women. I was like, this is it, you know. So did you feel more of a confidence then?

But the first day you're like, oh my God, a lot of these men are attractive men, but then you start to realize, oh, Reginald's gay, you know? Allen's gay, you know? And you're like, Jesus is getting better and better. So suddenly you're damn Rick Fox or whatever. Yeah, but I don't have that any, there's no group anymore. There's no, I'm alone. I do my show at my house alone and I do stand up alone.

You run your show, man. Your show is unbelievable, man. Everything you do is like another level of creative. It's, um, it's really fascinating to watch you work and to just witness it. Thank you. Um, we had a question that came in actually about, uh, about your show. Let's throw one of these. Let's see the questions.

I had to take this week off. It's to do a sketch live sketch every week, um, with very little help is insane. Okay, here we go. Hey, what's up, Kyle and Theo? I was wondering, I mean, I love your guys of shit doing really, really funny stuff up there. But I was wondering, Kyle, what is your favorite character to do? I mean, they're all surprisingly accurate, but, uh, yeah, I was wondering what your preference is. All right.

All right. All right. You get yourselves. Yeah, baby. Thank you. I like doing, uh, Alec Baldwin right now. Yeah. Alec Baldwin and, uh, Jeff Goldblum is fun.

How do you do one? Teach me how to, can you teach me how to do one? Or is it? Hey, yeah. It's like people talk in a certain range of notes. So you have to have a, like a relative pitch, be able to hear notes. Okay. So I don't know if you have that, but, and they had to kind of like be able to manipulate

your, your voice box a little bit. Okay. I think I talked about what a, like a crazy long neck I have, like a freak. I went, I hurt my neck and I had a dream. I was twisting off this top of a coke can top and I woke up with my hands around my neck. I was like twisting my neck. Anyway, I went to the doctor and they took an x-ray and he was rubbing his chin. Looking at my x-ray, thinking I'm like, I'm dying.

He went to the doctor's like, like this. And then he calls another guy in and I'm like, what the fuck do I have? And he's like, and I go, what, what's wrong? What is that? And he goes, you have the neck of a seven foot man. Wow. Yeah. But it, it helps because I can, I can move my voice box like, like, so anyway, like people

have different, people usually speak like a four to five note range, pretty, you know. Also pretty gay move by the first one man to bring another man into the room to look at him. Freaking man's neck drawing or something. That was a homoerotic, I feel like. It was very homoerotic. Yeah. It's like, Hey, Ron, get in here, man. You know, yeah.

Look what this guy's got here. That almost feels more like invasive. Somebody looking at your x-ray and not asking you, thinking show it to somebody else feels very invasive. So much dead silence too. Or I'll teach you how to do Jeff Goldblum. All right. Okay.

Jeff Goldblum has a very large range. Okay. Unusual. So it's like you're down here. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And he goes way up here like that. So you go, yeah, like that. Yeah.

Dinosaur is it? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Dinosaur is it? Dinosaur. That's really good. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes. But, but, but, but. But. And then we do a whisper like a but, but, but, but. But, but, but, but. Jeff, what's your favorite dinosaur? Oh, well, thank you for asking. I would say you're trash.

Here it comes. It's looking good. That's really good. I'm not. I'm not kidding. Thanks man. I got to ask you. Why are you paying insane amounts of money every month for wireless?

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And blah, blah, blah. I have a, my voice is close to some people. Like Bill Marzizi is like close to me. Okay, people. I'm right in the same range. Yeah. New rule. Yeah, I saw, I saw him the other night at a party, and he looked, he's the weirdest looking guy. Dude. Or sorry, he's a strange looking man.

Some people, he has been bothered by me in just random ways. I hear about, I was in Whole Foods, a lady came up to me and she goes, I have to tell you, I was a, a stewardess on a private plane with Bill Marzizi. I went up to him, I said, Kyle Dunning, does a really good impression of you. And he's face dropped and he turned away from me, didn't talk to me. And then she was told to go in the back of the plane and not talk to him again. No. Yeah. And he was on Rogan and he brought me up out of nowhere.

He goes, that guy does a terrible, you had some guy on it, it was a terrible impression of me. And then Joe was like, no, he doesn't play it. And then Bill goes, if you play that, I'm leaving. Like he really is not. And then AJ Benza told me. He's such a pussy. But, and you notice he tries to get a lot more like conservative, like low key. I think he sees where the audience is at.

And so he tries to, you see it over the past year, I feel like. Yeah. You know, or at least he's brave enough to say stuff. That's one thing about him that's definitely different. I agree with a lot of what he says. Yeah. And I feel like. But he's definitely shifting more.

He's definitely shifting more. I think because he sees that there's no end in the other thing. There's no end in like this. Let's just keep pointing fingers at each other and saying everything is off limits. You know. Yeah. Why does it have to be teams? Can you answer this question for me?

Because like, why does it be a Democret Republican? Why are there two teams? I'm sure there's a reason that I understand, but can we just have a guy and then have people that like have, you know, issues, issue to issue? I think, well, we used to have that. What's that? What is that? That's what politics used to be.

It used to be like everybody kind of had a guy, but you kind of supported whoever the president was. And then I think I don't know what that is that kind of changed. It's really interesting. I don't know. I don't know if it was just so much of like the power of social media and the media like pitting us against each other with like different clips because that's what really does it.

People see a clip and then they, that's that they latch on to it. But even before the media, there was Democrat Republicans or like, you're this or you're that. And then like you have pressure to stay with your team if there should be any of that. It should be just like, also the way we elect the president should be. I would like to change the rules of that. Yeah. Well, I think a lot of it's kind of archaic, you know, it's old news. They're doing shit like, you know, 13 original colonies kind of stuff.

They need to evolve it a little bit. We should big brother the presidents, like you get people, first you're like a sort of a intelligence test, then you do like a psychology test, then you do, you know, vet them completely, all this stuff. And then you put them all together for like a month and we just watch them survive and go, this guy, brilliant. Yeah. He can handle pressure.

That guy, that's what we do. Yeah. Have Julie Chan interview. I'm like, once every two weeks. Yeah, yeah. Check in. I mean, to be a successful politician, you have to, you have to lie. You have to be a liar. Right. Yeah.

But you get to know who people are when you see them for an extended period of time. You start to be like, oh, this guy's like that. This guy's like that. And in tough situations, I mean, same thing with a bachelor. The bachelor should not be them on vacation. It should be them like having to do their taxes or like just them in some in a closet for a while or they can't shower. Late for a flight or there's only cold water this week.

This challenge is you're late for a flight. That's really good. There was this, one of those we almost died shows, you know, I shouldn't be alive. Oh, yeah. But they are pussies. Yeah. So they were on the first date, right? Yeah.

Which is you're trying to be cool and whatever. They get out this gondola and they're like, let's explore like fucking idiots. The wrong side of the mountain. The gondola leaves without them. They can't find their way back to the gondola. Now they're just like trenching through just vast wilderness. Okay. And who's leading?

Does it say a man or woman? It's a man trying to be a man. Oh. Okay. And she's there. And then she says she wakes up in the morning. She doesn't want her breath to be bad. You know, their lives are in danger.

But you're on this date still. Oh, that's true. The date is still going on. Yeah. It's like maybe we get rescued and like, I don't have bad breath and gross smell like shit. So now they just like, they finally find this like tent. They run to it like tent. Maybe there's a hiker and they're just a skeleton.

They're like, like a dead guy. Okay. And he's a experienced climber guy and he's got a journal. And the journal is like, there's no way out of this. There's no, I can't get out of this canyon. There's no way out. I've tried blah, blah, blah. And they're like, this guy couldn't get out of here.

We're going to die. And by now they're fighting. They're not even with each other. No. Oh, that's how mad they were and annoyed because you need each other to survive. They were like, go over there. I hate you. And that was a TV show.

This is a real, the show was like documenting. Yeah. It's one of those like, I shouldn't be alive. So now they're dead and they're just starving. And then this guy gets a brilliant idea. What do you think it is? I saved them. He saves their lives.

What does he do? What does he do? It's a man and they're on him now. He saves her life. Wow. She still doesn't fuck him. Cunbulls, believable. I don't know.

Your mother fucks your dad due to give you a life. Somebody saves your life. They get a fuck. Something. What about a hot tub hand job? Yeah. Huh? What about busting out from front of some children?

In the only hot tub in Louisiana. Bro, I'm saying this, bro. And this is what I'm saying. What the man does is I believe that he gets them to sing at the top of their lungs. Wow. No. No, man. That's not it at all.

That's a bad guess too. That's a waste of energy. You want me to tell you? Yeah. He starts. Can you guess from there? Master bait. Nope.

A force fire. Fucking brilliant, right? Legend. He's like, I'm going to burn it down. And just like, starts this huge fire. And then people will come. All the vegans come running. Yeah.

What's going on? You killed these trees. That's the toughest job being a firefighter, like when these fires happen and they have to go in there and then it can blow your direction. You're just engulfed. You're sucking in that soot all day. Yeah.

They drop those guys out there. Yeah. I have an idea. Like I have a lot of time in my hands. You know, they drop the water comes out and it kind of just sprays out. Put them all in giant water balloons. Then it explodes on the ground.

Is that a good idea? I think it's a great idea. Or one giant water balloon. It splashes on the water instead of a mist. Because a mist hits the water. It hits the fire. Yeah. It's interesting, man.

It's interesting to see how to know which one would be what, you know? That's real interesting. Brilliant though, that guy just started a forest fire. Yeah. And simple. And they probably build him for it. The worst part though, he's probably still paying for it. Still paying for that date.

He's in jail. Yeah. I guess you got to let him off the hook. Yeah. Do you see, we had a question that came in. Let's get back to that question. Back to the questions. Okay, here's a lady.

Oh, there she is. Beautiful young lady. Hi, Kyle. I am one of your biggest fans. I'm seriously obsessed with you. You're amazing. Such a brilliant comedic mind. And thank you.

That's just a flattery portion. But I do have a question which is, I'm curious about how you construct your sketches because they always feel, you know, these like outlandish concepts, but they never feel like too cartoonish. And I don't know how you do that with some of these characters that you create. But I'm curious because I do feel like you have mastered the sort of language of subtlety in your comedy as well as being really over the top.

And I was curious, like, how do you know when the sketch is complete? Because I feel like there is an art to that. And it seems like you are really good at knowing sort of how long it needs to be and when the joke has sort of run its course. So, yeah. Thank you. There you go. I mean, is there any way to answer this without sounding like a total douchebag?

I don't know. Like, analyzing your comedy, so it's hard to win. It is. And we can't even take this out if it's not a... Oh, no, that's a sweet question. It's a very sweet question. And she seems very sweet. She seems very sweet.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you that the one thing I do do, which I don't think other people can because I shoot so cheaply is I will shoot something and have an idea and shoot it raw and bad. And I'll sleep on it. And I'll watch it the next day and be like, oh, that doesn't need to be like that. And I have a fresh thought. I also ask if I'm having trouble with something.

This helps with a lot of things now is you sort of like give it to your subconscious to figure out and go to bed. I think a lot of, you know... Because you really, your ideas kind of pop in your subconscious. It does come from your subconscious, you know, your thoughts. But yeah, your brain's really a great thing. We forget that. Yeah, just let it run.

I think like trying to intellectualize things, I don't really get good stuff out of that. It's usually not as creative stuff. And then in terms of, I edit way down. I try to take on anything not needed. Sketch takes a lot of time. I get to take a lot of time. Like something would take me like 15 hours or when I do the fresh press, I do these like eight minute shorts.

Those take like over a hundred hours of editing and whatever rework. And you like to do it all yourself? Well, yeah. I mean, I also write with my friend, John Bush and Kurt Metzger. And, you know, we, you know, they're all invaluable. And then this girl, Jessica Montes, says like, is that kind of producer that you know, Jessica? So it's really a team effort.

And yeah, I cracking like an impression. I'll like take somebody some fact. Oh, I want to, during the news, I'll try to get them. There's a certain, you know, thing that you sort of grab on to. And I can either do it or I can't do it. But I can't do women, too many women. I just can't get my voice up high enough. You do the dashions.

Yeah. But it's like, like a fake. Right. And yeah. Right. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Well, he was born biologically.

And so true. It's easier to do. He's cheating. Do you, is there a, what's a celebrity you've tried to get that you haven't nailed yet, but you're not going to give up on? Is there one? I feel like Jeff Bezos I could do, but I feel like people don't really care enough about him

at some point, maybe. Yeah. It's hard to know anything. I wouldn't know anything he's said or done enough, you know. It's pushed me to do so many, doing the show every week and the Instagram before that. I pushed me so hard to do impressions, which I'm glad because, you know, like stand up or whatever,

you're not like pushed to work. I work all the time. Yeah. This is like the first few days I took off because I just was like tapped out. But I must love it because I work. There's some like weeks. I'll just, I wake up, I work all day and edit.

I collapse, I wake up, I work all day. That's why I don't have a social life is because of that. Well, you love your work. You chose your work as your partner. Yeah. I know. It's interesting. People kind of don't realize that sometimes.

Yeah. It does take up, it is like a relationship almost, but the editing I could do without so much editing, that takes up most of my days. Yeah. Would it be possible to get some, but it's hard to get somebody to acutely do what you desire and get your real voice really dialed out?

That's the problem. I'm so used to doing everything like myself that, you know, it's hard for an editor to come in, work with a guy now who does a good job. Yeah. But it's hard. Do you think, well, you do a great job, man. It's really unprecedented, the type of stuff you do

and how creative it is. And just that you're your own TV show, it's unbelievable, really. I'm watching your stuff and I'm like, this is unbelievable. Cause you feel, I feel that you're sitting there doing it. I don't feel that there's like a, no, there is a go between fella, you know, some little henchman or henchwoman or, you know,

a pen swimmer that's sitting there, you know, doing the strokes for you. Yeah. I keep going like, I can, this is my last week. I keep wanting to quit every week. And, uh, yeah, there's no, I don't think there's animals doing a live sketch show on YouTube. Uh-uh.

And your audience has been growing. Yeah, it's been growing. That's been, that kind of keeps me going. That's amazing. Cause if that stopped, I think I would just have to take a. Oh, take your life Bob. But we were, we have the number one in YouTube magazine,

the number one, um, uh, I'm making this up. And YouTube Mac? There's no YouTube magazine. Well, I got a YouTube trading cards the other day and I saw that. Really? Yeah. There was one of you in there.

I think it was, I don't know what it was. One of your characters. You, I'd like to get YouTube trading cards. We also have, we have the number one and the last place live sketch show on YouTube. I don't think there's any other ones. I know y'all were runner up a couple of times. I think it's insane.

I mean, we do the SNL. They, there's like 30 writers and they work around the clock. And it's because sketch is not, those, those are the greatest writers, sketch writers in the country. And they scour the country. It's just really hard to write good sketch. I, I envy like what you've created because you can,

you know, have an hour of content and just, you know, hang out with, you know, your buddies and stuff. And then you do, you build a huge audience. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's definitely been interesting. But I think of the big thing is just creating something and doing it. That's all it is. And it's like, you can only create like,

I get envious of what you created, man. It's just like so, because it feels so creative now. Like even two years ago, I was like, oh, this is so like, you were early. You were an early person that came into cracks. And he said, which I always remember because it really was true. You said, who it, I don't know who this is for. Yeah.

Which it still is kind of like that. Like it's got like puppets in it. And then we get that girl looking at the pickle in the ice cream the other day. It's like, is this a chill? It's like, it's the perfect show because we're all devolving into children anyway, man. It's like, it's all becoming. We're all stuck on this mountain looking for.

Yeah. To start a forest fire. We're all on a bad date with ourselves. You know, it's like, it's all devolving, it feels like. So I just want to keep cranking out the material. And I, I just worry, I worry I'm going to dry up because take breaks. Yeah. I got to break this week.

Yeah. You have to take breaks. You get punished online for taking breaks. Like I've taken, I took a break like a couple of months ago and it's like, I lose 35% of my audience. I take three weeks off like 35 to like spend time and get that back. It's huge. Otherwise you die, man.

Like I, I've struggled in the past years of just like, I did two episodes a week for like a year, two years, I think. Yeah. And almost killed myself. Yeah. Yeah. Like I just had no things left to even think or say. Yeah.

Um, you got a great thing going. And your shows, your live shows are, are killer doing. Yeah. Are you still on tour right now? We got a new tour coming up, a couple new legs of it anyway. So now I just do it in little legs, things I can manage, you know, I just need things to be manageable right now. That's the biggest thing.

Yeah. Try to find creative guests right now. Um, and then trying to get some help. I'm trying to get some help on the producer front. I need that. You know, it's like, I start to realize I need more help. You know, I need more. Yeah.

Delegating is a thing where I'm now, cause I realized I had to delegate and, uh, it's hard if you haven't done it before, I'm not good at it yet. I'm trying to get better. Yeah. Um, yeah. We just started kind of looking for some help or trying to figure that out. Yeah. Yeah.

Because yeah, you think you can kind of handle things and then you're like, Oh, I really need to get some help. You don't realize when you're about to need to go to the hospital. Yeah. So it sneaks up on you. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have an assistant?

Um, I just started getting somebody to help me with like kind of day to day stuff. That's, that's huge. Like I can't, like I lost like a, uh, some Bitcoin. Oh, and you got to find it. Like that's stressing me out. Like have someone else find that. It'll take you a month. Yeah.

And yeah. And then you're trying to guess those 13 keywords. Well, you know, I guess I got stolen. It was in real cash app and I was sending it to this poker site. Oh, that's dirty. I don't play a lot. But anyway, I was sending over Bitcoin and it just fucking disappeared. And I, but they're both like, we don't know.

I'm like, okay, bye. I guess there goes a thousand dollars. Yeah, dude. I was buying some, uh, psychedel, uh, some, um, micro dosing capsules because I was getting off antidepressants and I was buying some of those online and I got scammed out. Oh, really? 179. Yeah.

Some, some dude took me up in snow home or somewhere up in Washington. $179. Yeah. Yeah. You'll recover. Hurts still though. It does hurt. That's like, I don't know.

A lot of packs. I don't know if somebody's cheating you. Um, have you seen the alpinist man, the alpinist, alpinist? Alpinist. No. Climbing movie? No, I'd like that. I like those.

Is he, does he do the thing without any ropes? Cause that bothers me. It's so good. And how, well, how high do you think you could probably climb? I mean, it depends on, on the steepness of the, I couldn't climb anything if it was like straight up. We talking about like a, what are we talking about here? How high can someone climb?

Can you Google that? Oh, you're saying like physically breathe, like 25,000 feet. If you had to climb, say somebody right now is like, climb boy, climb. How steep is this? What's the mountain? Is it, you know, you're straight up. You're going up a ladder. It's a ladder.

It's a ladder. Well, let's say ladder just to get the idea. What's the, what's the answer? Yeah. Crazy question. How high can I climb? What does that say there? Can you zoom in on it a little?

You start dying at around 20,000 feet. It starts 21,000 feet. Humans have survived for years at 5,950 meters. I hate when they do that. Okay. Times that times three. Okay. We're talking to like 18,000 feet.

Yeah. Which is the highest reported permanently tolerable altitude. So how high do you think you could climb? This is eight feet. It's about living there. Like how long, I could climb up there and breathe for a little while. But at what point when you're climbing, do you start to have that moment where you look down and your body stops climbing?

That's what I want to know. This is, the variables involved in your scenario are, are, there's a huge gap. I mean, there's so many variables that I need answers to. I got this one then. How high do you think you could climb? Right? This is a good one. Okay.

Actually, let's finish this one. Then I got a good one. Okay. Or I'll just, do you think you could climb? Say you had a jingle bell, right? Hanging from a little rope off your chin. Okay. How hot do you think you could climb without it ringing at all?

Like, okay, is it really tied tight? Is it swinging? It's breezy out? Like, it's not breezy. There's no wind. Zero wind. There's a, I would say there is three quarters of an inch of thread. Okay.

Is it a rocky terrain? No, you're just on a ladder. A ladder. A steel ladder. I don't know. I would say maybe like a mile. I could probably get a mile up without making it ring. No, dude.

I don't think it would ring. Wow, man. That's awesome. What were you thinking? Thanks, dude. What were you thinking? I thought 20 feet. No.

You know, slow, you would have to go to not get the thing. You don't got to go smooth. You got to go smooth. That's what you're, you're going to run. One jingle, dude. One thought of Christmas. Look how fast I'm not even moving my head. You just got to move your limbs quickly.

Would you be scared you would hit your head on one of the rungs and that would ring it? Would you climb with your face out to the side? I would probably bring it back a little up, tuck the chin. I got a, I got a thing like that would really blow your mind. I'd put the bell in my mouth. If it's like dangling a couple inches. I'm going all the way. But then you have one little breathing mishap or this or that and you're running that risk.

You're a whistle. Yeah. I used to boulder climb, which I would like to get back to. Yeah. No, but you should get out there. I could see a lot of women being out there for you. I don't talk to people in public. Anybody who shows, I'd leave right after.

I don't know. Really? I just feel really uncomfortable just going up to a stranger. It's just weird to go up to a stranger. It's weird. But that's all getting married is, is just going up to a stranger. That's why I'm not married. I don't need to.

You've known for a while. Well, no, I think the best way is you're working with a person. So we're not in an office. You know, you and Jane work on that report and then you work the report and you're like, oh, this report. Then you rag on the boss and you guys laugh and you rag on the other guy in the office and then you hook up one night and you know each other for six months and that's good. Yeah.

Then you get married. Yeah. Not this nonsense we do. And then also they've seen your performance. That's weird. Yeah. Have you sent ever sent like a DM to a celebrity or just to a woman? I've DM'd.

I've DM'd. But I don't think out of the blue, like, hey, I saw your pictures. I've never done that. Yeah. I've done like, hey, I saw you somewhere. Like as a lie, you'll say that? No. And I really did see him somewhere.

Oh, okay. Yeah. But they didn't write back. Oh, maybe I didn't see it. I saw it. You're a catch dude. You got all, you got everything going for you. I really think that.

That's nice, you man. I think you do that one of us isn't a fucking woman, dude. Dude, we'd be fucking dude. Are you kidding me? Dude, we'd be in a relationship. Long term. We'd be fucking right here, dog. You'd meet my mom, dude.

Yeah, dude. She'd tie little strings around me and keep me in her room like this. I love you. Dude, I get so worried about just where the world's heading. Are you worried about it? Yes and no. I feel like I've had such a good run. I'm kind of like, okay.

Do you know what I mean? Right, but I'm talking about the next gin, next two gins. Yeah, like I feel bad, but I kind of don't care about, I kind of don't care. I probably, if I thought about it, would care, but I don't think about it at all. I mean, it's funny how the news puts something in front of you to care about. Every night there's a billion children that go to, a billion people who are a bit hungry. Yeah. But then we decide like this is a march for this or this now the Ukraine thing, all very important stuff.

But it's like, there's always, there's never a march for starving children. There's never, there's always some horrible things happening. It kind of numbs you out. Like what are we doing? What is CNN telling me I need to be worried about today? Because there's horror everywhere, which is the horror we're going to focus on now. It was like, you know, Black Lives Matter for a while, then it went to COVID, now it's on Ukraine. And it's like, okay, there's going to be a next thing.

People are getting burnt out of it, I think. Do you think that? Ukraine or COVID? All of the whole thing. Like, hey, this news fear, the value of getting all this information is, we don't care. We don't care. But at the same time, we are addicted to it. I know.

So that's the tough part. Well, that's the thing where people, you get on a team, you feel this part of your identity, you're like, you know, you know, I'm part of this cause, which is good. You know, it's all like good stuff to help problems. But shouldn't like the number one cause every day be like, there's starving children dying. Right. Like that should be our number one top story. Then we'll go, okay, it's the other thing.

But we're, you know, that's not how it is. Yeah. Okay. And I wonder, like people don't even care about things like Santa that much or anything. No one cares about Santa anymore. Isn't that crazy? No one even talks about him. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah. Like he's mad. Santa was the thing. Yeah. Are you worried about the future? Yes. I would assume since you asked that question, you're worried about it. Yeah.

I guess I am. I'm just worried about, it used to feel really neat to be human. And I don't know if we as a society value it enough more than the people or the people in control value it enough as much as they value like power and money. Well, and so they're willing to sacrifice everything. They're willing to let it really whittle away. You know, I think the underlying problem to all that is, is we don't face death. It doesn't, it sounds in Congress, it doesn't seem like that tracks, but the fact that we

are the first species where we know we're going to die, like of course you have to put that species on medication. Like if you just went to another planet, like here's a species that just found out, they'd have to be very religious and it's just too psychologically upsetting. And then you have this energy, you're pushing that down, you've got to focus on something else like we do. Cultures like ours at idolized celebrity are generally the most unhappy, you know, and it's generally the most, they most push away death.

I mean, those two things are equally correlated. These are cultures that they bring the dead out and then it's a whole thing for a long time and they're less stressed out in general and they don't like understand, you know, celebrity as much or revere it. It's kind of like an immortal thing when you think about celebrities, it's like this way of like, see, we live forever and everything's so incredibly temporary. Yeah. We don't really, we don't really tap into the reality of it.

We create this kind of pseudo reality that of life through celebrity or like of longevity through celebrities that we're saying. Yeah. And I'm kind of torn because it's also like, yeah, we should distract ourselves. It's such a, I don't know, I'll go back and forth. Yeah. You're on a roller coaster and then you're like told at the end there's a brick wall and you don't know when it's going to come and have and enjoy yourself.

Yeah. That's like, that's kind of what we're having to deal with. And so we're on pills. Yeah. Watch. Yeah. Do you think that, oh, I was going to ask you this, oh, this is what I thought about aliens visiting the planet.

Oh, right. Right. I thought that aliens just come by. It's almost like when your mom's like, I'm going to take you to the, I'm going to take you to the, the local zoo or whatever, you know. And alien kids are like, fuck, mom, I don't want to go to that dump, you know, and it's like some, sometimes there's still people going over to see Earth. It's like, they're so advanced, but every now and then, like some shitty family brings

their kids over like, oh, look, you know, Mars is full, you know, they got a line over at Neptune. You know, dad couldn't get tickets to Saturn. So we're going to run them over here. Earth's way better than those. Right. I agree. But I think in, in, in alien world, they don't think that, right.

So they're like, oh, fuck, mom, we got to go all the way over to Earth and we drive all the way there. And the parents are like, or fly, you know, in their, in their flying dry, you know, driver. And then they get there and like, oh, fuck, mom, this place sucks, you know, so they don't even land anymore. They're bothered to land. Okay. They don't even land anymore.

They're just like, oh, fuck. This guy over here, this guy's over here jerking off and tasting it at the park. Yeah. This guy, it doesn't, you know, this guy hates Santa. Like it's all like this guy over here is Uncle Albert. Like, mom, this place is a fucking dump, you know. We got to get the F out of here, mom. And they're like, all right, we'll leave.

Let me at least burn this lady's womb over here just to let them know we were here. And then they send out one little torch flame and they jet. I've seen the tic-tac videos and the, and I don't know what it is. And I definitely know I don't have all the answers. Here's what I think it is. Okay. I think it's a multi-dimensional thing. Things popping in.

It's my guess. Not like people of busy because it's just so far away that it, and then not to contact it seems like more of like an anomaly because, you know, there, there's a lot of evidence that there's like a multi-dimensions, right? Like they don't know where gravity went. There's a lot of gravity missing that they're like, maybe that's folding in dimension or something. Yeah.

I don't know anything about this, but I'm just going to believe that. No, man. Look, I think you're really, really smart, man. We just believe the other ones were aliens trying to reach Earth. Scientists make message to send Earth's location to aliens ignoring Stephen Hawkins' warning. Okay. Let's zoom in on that. On the font.

Yeah. There's that tic-tac video. That's crazy. I saw when I was a kid, a UFO, just like that way high in there to like tic-tac-y things that were making no noise and they were engaged or something. I don't know what it was. It was, look, is that kind of thing probably, but I don't know what it is. But I wouldn't say, I don't, I just, I don't know.

And this here say, science of design a radio message to be beamed in a deep space that reveals Earth's location. Yeah. That might be a bad idea. Yeah. And that's, yeah. And somebody's going to sponsor it or something too. It'll be like, oh, this is brought to you by Wiener Schnitzel.

You know what I'm doing? Yeah. This is horrible. Somebody's going to hear him be like, fuck Wiener Schnitzel. We sent out that one thing. Remember a year, I think it's on Voyager one. Yeah. It's like record, that gold record.

Remember that? And it's got, it's embarrassing now. Like the, the shit we sent out was not good. It's horrible. Like bad music. Every five years they send this shit out. It's bad. Yeah.

That had Nelly on it. It had Nelly on it. I think Chingi was on it. Every five years they send out something horrible. Yeah. It was like the Dukes of Hazard show or something. Just noodle boys. Yeah.

It was a couple of early episodes of just the 10 of us. No, it was, no, it was small wonder that girl was a robot they sent out. I was like, here's the TV shows we do. Dude, Melissa Joan Hart came to one of my shows. Dude, I met her once. What was she, I got, I think I got to meet her afterwards. I don't remember outside, but she seemed really sweet. I met Paris Jackson last night.

She was really nice. Dude, I met her. She's so sweet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Melissa Joan Hart. You a big fan of the witch movie?

I mean, I just remember, I was just, it was just neat that she came, you know, that she came out. She's a fan, big fan. Yeah. She loves a lot of comedy and she came out, man. She came out and it was in Nashville. She lives in a hometown that I grew up in and I go, oh, I love that Sherwood diner. And she said, I got food poisoning there and barfed in their bathroom.

Oh yeah. That was my encounter with her. Dude, I remember, oh, let's bring up that alien article real quick. I want to go through that deal. Alrighty then. UFOs left radiation burns and unaccounted for pregnancies. That is what, this is what I heard recently now. This seems dumb because can't you just like do the DNA test and know it's not human?

There we go. I understand this. Encounters with UFOs have reported that for American suffering from radiation burns, brain and nervous system damage, and even unaccounted for pregnancy. That's the part that some chicks are just tacking on just to get out of, I think probably some interracial relationships and shit. It just seems like a very easy thing to figure out. And if you're telling your dad, 23 and me, yeah, figure that out.

Yeah. If you get 23 and me back and it has like a, you know, sector five, Zuckerberg one. I'm 8% Zuckerberg one. The database includes more than 1500 pages UFO related material. Do you believe they ever found something and hit it? That's I'm just going to ask you a point blank. I don't want to beat around the bush anymore. All right.

No, I don't. I think they found some military like advanced stuff, but I don't know. I would say this is a guess. I don't know. I just don't think it's likely that a spacecraft made of material flew, you know, at least four and a half light years closest solar system, which we're not getting any radio signals from that. We're not getting any radio signals from anything in our view.

Okay. So it has to travel hundreds of light years, which I mean, you take, you shoot a light at the or laser at the moon. It takes like a second to get a second and a half to get there. It took us, I don't know, like a week to get there going 18,000 miles an hour. Now for a hundred years go that fast. And then you finally get to, and you can't even go that fast because your mass will be infinite.

You're going to go close to it. That's why I think it's jumping through wormholes or something else. Right. Okay. So you're saying there's some, the distance. If you really get a tech tonic synastical one on exactly, just some interstellar tech tonic, interstellar tech tonic. You're a smart guy, man.

Um, I wonder if we covered everything. Was there any other good question that came in for Kyle? Any other real ripper you wanted to get to? Okay. I'll answer any question. Pull up one more for him. Let's get one more. Oh, this guy's got a good hair game.

Yeah. Here we go. Yo, Theo gang gang. Yo. Baby. Thanks for the message. Wanted to ask your guests, um, if the election were today, would you vote for Trump considering that he's talking about running again or Biden, if he were to actually survive this presidency?

Um, or do you have someone else that you would rather lampoon? Um, yeah, that's my question. Gang gang. Gang gang, man. Could you imagine if Trump and Biden went head to head again, could you even, what it would even be like at that point? It's all turning into a strange show. Yeah.

And it's a very real question. Well, he live. I mean, I've never been more concerned about a health of a president. Unbelievable. He doesn't even seem like a well grandfather. Yeah. You'd be worried about grandpa. Like, I've had grandfathers that seem kind of well, you know, like he doesn't seem that

right now. Biden does not seem well. So if, but what are they going to do? Not have him run again. That's what they would do. Probably. And then I've never heard the president, a president make this sound during the speech. What if Biden dies off?

Will you have a funeral for you? The character? What will you do? Maybe I'll do ghost Biden. I don't know. I just pulled that out. I like it. I don't know.

How do you do Biden? Can you shoot me real fast? Come on, man. It's okay. He's got a few. He's got like a long thing here. The high, man. Come on.

Do it. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Look, look, look. He's trying to get, not, not, not the thing, the thing, man. Come on. Come on.

The guy. Come on. Come on, guy. The thing. Hey. The guy with the shirt. The guy. The shirt.

He's a bad dude, man. He's a bad dude. He's a bad dude, man. He's bad. Maybe they can audience can guess whether I'm doing, I'm going or you're going. Okay. Okay. All right.

Come on, man. He's a bad dude. Come on, man. He's a bad dude. This one. You'd move underneath the video they could write. All right. Let's try it one more time.

All right. Yeah. Okay. Hey. What are you doing over there, guys? Come on, man. It's over. It's over.

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. Okay. Put your comments below.

Okay. Yeah. What do you think? Who was who? Don't cheat. Cover the screen from the beginning. Now we're telling them all the rules and posts. Yeah.

It'll be cut out of the game. It'll be cut out of the show. We'll cut that. Kyle Dunnigan, man. One of the most entertaining minds in the world. And this guy's on the wife hunt too. I want to put it out there for you. I don't think.

I think it's done. Like I can't imagine. I don't know. You don't want a family? No, I do. But I don't know how. Like I'm not social. I don't know how this would even.

You know, you see a movie like you're in the store and you bump into someone and your cottage cheese falls and you start giggling and picking it up and you're like, what's your name? Like that's, I think that could maybe happen. It seems like a long shot. Do we cut a cheese? No. But I also think I'm probably a, I must be an odd person today. It must be odd.

No. I'm sure you're good. Just putting on wigs all day. I bet some woman is going to absolutely love it. If someone's into that. Okay. If you, would you, do you do like a horseback riding? Do you do a good date?

What do you do? Do you do? You know, I go all out. I think I do. I think I am a good date. You know, I, I, I listen and I like to plan some. I'll pay. You know, that's a, that's a plus right there when the guy pays huge.

But I've had some very weird days. I was on a date with girl and we're at this restaurant. She's on her phone the whole time. I took a picture of her on her phone and I texted to her. I thought that'd be funny. You know, you get a text of yourself on the phone and then you'd go like, oh, sorry. But she goes, oh, I do look cute. She thought I was saying like you're cute.

And I was like, I gotta get out of here. Wow. I had another anyway. What's going on? Yeah. It's fun. I went on. Yeah.

It's, it's tough, man. It's tough figuring out what to do with your, it's tough figuring out as you get older too, it gets a little bit tougher too. It does. You get set in your ways. Exactly. I've not lived with someone in a long time. But I can't complain.

Everything is good. And I also sometimes I'm like, boy, I'm glad there isn't like screaming children here right now. A lot of times I'd see my friends sometimes like, dude, you're so, you're a shitty diaper. What do you mean? Was that fun? Yeah. Nice dude.

Nice dude. Nice dude. Thanks man. Well, Kyle Dunnan, you guys can check out his show. It comes out when it wants to come out. But it's got a great channel on YouTube. Also I'm doing a tour right now. So if people want to go to tour, if you're at KyleDunnan.com, you can come see me on

the West Coast, Tempe, Arizona too. Oh, beautiful. We'll put that in. I have a lot of friends that have gone to see you and enjoyed it. I love it. Getting back out there. What's your show like? Is it just stand up?

It's all over the place. No, like I'll play the piano. I do like, I actually project onto the screen the impressions and stuff. Okay. So I'm trying to bring a bunch of different stuff to it. So it's a real full throttle, huh? Yeah. Kind of the show I do on YouTube kind of started to do that because that's what people want

to see. Usually they come to see me now. We'll want to see impressions. And what about KERP? Is he out there? KERP does stand up. Yeah. He's out and about.

Any other characters you hit the road with you? I'll zoom Jessica and KERP in and John in. Beautiful. It's great. Kyle Dunnan again, man, dude, you're so good to get to spend time with you, man. Thank you so much for making me laugh, especially through all the freaking, the, the weird world as we wait for aliens to come and pick us up. You too.

You too. How great that we can hang out and laugh. I don't know how I got into this business or whatever. I don't remember deciding to do it, but I know it was so psyched, like I'd be so bad in an office. Would you? I did it for years and I got fired. I got fired all the time.

Like Kyle. I worked for this. She does the taxes for the Rockefellers. All I had to do was do, take a long time. Yeah. I just had to do copying and she brought me to the office and she goes, you do terrible work and I was just a copy boy and I was like 24. Dude, I was here for actually, I used to mail forms.

My job was mailing forms, right? Form mailer, right? And I did a bunch of mushrooms or LSD one time and went in there, right? This is insane, bro. And it was my girlfriend's mom. This was in high school. I got stripped down and got completely naked, right? Okay.

Well, that's not even half of it. So I walk out of the workplace. So much better than my story. I walk out of the workplace. The second that two women see me naked walking out of the workplace, I'm fired immediately, right? But I'm so fucked up. I didn't know.

Got into my car, 84 Ford Escort with a missing passenger seat, somebody stole it and I get home anyway, finished the drugs, wear off, blah, blah, blah, lose my job. But here's the crazy part. A week later, one of our company, one of our associate companies in New Mexico got all my clothes in a box. How crazy is that? Did you mail them? Yeah, I mailed them to them.

That is an insane story. You knew you were naked at your office or you didn't know you were so high you didn't know you were naked? When I do heavy drugs, I get real Native Americans. So I go back to the roots. You know, yeah, I get back to like, we don't need this. We don't need this common thread of, you know, this Brit, this fucking, this British garb. We don't need.

So your story, though, like you deserve to be fired and like that's cool. And you were like, I was trying really hard to make copies and I got fired. You were having a good time. I mean, I don't know what I was doing, man, but we were both somehow inadvertently, though we didn't know it looking for something different. Yeah. There was a part of us that was like, I'm going to fuck this up. I think so.

I think I was like, no, I'm never going to do, I can't do this. So this compadre ends up at the right bowl of guacamole. Yeah. A guacamole. Yeah. I also look up just, I'm sure you do. Like just lucky things happened. I mean, maybe unlucky things happened too, that he wouldn't even know.

But did you ever have a pregnancy scare out there once you did get active infertile? No. Oh, I mean, I've had like condoms break where that and then like morning after pill or something like that. But it never was like a girl was like, I'm late. That's never happened to me. Did you ever have a thing where you? I'm pretty protective.

Are you? Myself? You wear a lot of condoms, huh? Oh, it's insane. I don't fuck around. Really? Unless I'm like interrelationship for a while or like, I've done STD tests with the ladies and that's another way to go.

But if I don't know them, have you just ever winged it? In what manner? In a sexual manner with a woman and just said, I'm just going to assume this woman doesn't have an STD and I'm not going to use a protective. I've put it in when I shouldn't. But I've gotten tests after and I have been, I've lucked out. Wouldn't it be crazy if there was somebody who could put their penis inside of a woman and then guess or not if that an STD and get it right every time?

That would be such a waste of an amazing talent to be a waste. Really? Why a waste? I don't know. How could you, would you go on the road with that and make money? How do you monetize that? I think so. Bring Stephanie up here.

Just pick people out of the crowd. Yeah, you have herpes. You got, yeah. I don't know. Be something, man. I'm just saying there's a way out there for everybody to make money. There's a way to make money. Yeah, absolutely.

So stay alive, folks. Don't give up on yourself. No. Do not. Have a good time. Let's have a good time. Yeah. In the moment, they say that.

Stay in the moment, babe. It's all that you have. That's all. All right. We'll see you guys next time. All right, guys, we'll see you guys next time. Bye. All right, guys, we'll see you guys next time.

All right, guys, we'll see you guys next time. Bye.