This Past Weekend - E395 Sal Vulcano

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Sal Vulcano is a stand-up comedian, actor, and a member of the Impractical Jokers. He is the co-host of the podcast "Hey Babe" with Chris DiStefano, as well as "Taste Buds" with Joe DeRosa. Theo and Sal discuss their experience on the Impractical Jokers Cruise, the history of suppositories, class clowning, and bombing on morning talkshows. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com Podcastville mugs and prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com ------------------------------------------------- Support our Sponsors: Keeps: Go to https://keeps.com/THEO to get your first month of treatment free BetterHelp: Go to https://betterhelp.com/THEO for 10% off your first month ShipStation: Go to https://shipstation.com to get 60 days free with code THEO Babbel: Go to https://babbel.com/THEO to save 60% off your subscription Goodr: Go to https://goodr.com/THEO to get 15% off with code Theo ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Jeremy https://www.instagram.com/guyboybabyboolove/ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reinerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Tickets on sale now at Theo Vaughn comm slash to you are Don't go through a different vendor Go through the Theo Vaughn site so that you can get them Correct because otherwise you people jack them up and they jack you over today's guest is Well, we're not gonna go too much into his history when he and I talk Because mostly you should know him you and if you don't know him I'll just tell you now. He's from impractical jokers the television program heading into its ten number nine or ten season and

They've just um, I mean, it's a it's an American staple. It really is if you if you don't like it your cousin does your grandmother does and He's part of that group him and three of his friends and He's a buddy of mine. I almost went on his cruise a few I did go on his cruise shoot I just remembered and forgot I went on his impractical jokers cruise a few years ago He has two podcasts one called Hey, babe with Krista Stefano and another one called taste buds with Joe Derosa I Couldn't be happier to sit down with anyone

Ladies and gentlemen, mr. Sal Volcano Oh You know Trying to get better man been leaning back into my sobriety programs. That's been helping me. Okay. How's it going? It's good. It's starting to feel good. It's just taking a while. Where do you where do you do that? You know? Oh, yeah, are you back? Are you you here now? Are you still I'm back and forth? Okay, so y'all got me a house Split it. Oh, yeah, I would say it's probably split. Yeah, you got to go there like hit 51 like 183 You got to legally be there. It's almost like

Having to be in that in two places. It's almost like whenever you see that baseball player and he has his foot on the back Yeah, and you're like waiting to steal. Yeah Yeah, you start to lead and then the and then the IRS kind of checks the bag Dude, that's exactly what it's like So it's definitely like a relaxing there people are so friendly I get to have like a whole new walk of like so so like socializing and meeting people Feel what it's like to be in a smaller environment Your move there was your first move there, right? Like you weren't that you weren't familiar with it before I know

I didn't know it's kind of I can't even believe I did it I I mean, I know I wanted to save tax money and then I Always wanted to live there So it's like a dope spot. I love it every time I go. Yeah, it's fun. It's just you know, it's not LA or New York So it's just it's just smaller. Yeah. Yeah. Are you limited though with being able to to work out and do spots and stuff like that? Um, oh, yeah, right cuz you got Jamie's that's it and there's no like produce There's no there's no like bar or produce shows or anything like that at all may uh, I don't think there's a big scene So it's just Zaini's. Yeah, so when you're there for like weeks at a time

Are you just going to Zaini's every night and just popping in or you can't really do that? So you can kind of go they have an open mic night or I'll do my own night. Okay, um But it's like kind of yeah, it's uh That's the tough part is keeping the comedy going right during the pandemic It didn't matter because a lot of places weren't open anyway, right, right, right? So but this keeps you probably sharp Especially the one that you do when you just do it yourself. Yeah, that I think that helps I mean for me really comedy. I got to be on stage. Yeah. Yeah Um, I gotta be I learned about us repetition. Yep. Like some people there more they write this stuff

And if it's a good but I got to be up there feeling it. Yeah, you write stuff it down or no ever Um, yeah, sometimes. Yeah, if I get my friends to laugh sometimes. Yeah, you know, I'll write out like the Like the big beats, but like then if I haven't done what I'll do is if I haven't done something during the pandemic I went back and transcribed everything. Yeah, because it was just easier to get back into it after that long You know, so it's like I have a reference point anytime I blank because I was getting back up and missing whole chunks. Oh, that's the word Yeah, so yeah, the worst is like the other night I did a show and I got to the end of the show and I almost wanted to run back out there because I forgot to do

one of the best Not even a tag a bit a full bit full bit So I want to apologize. I think that was I think that was in Midland, Texas, man I owe you guys a good joke But yeah, is it hard to separate like Do you find a tough time like doing stuff for your show and then like getting into a different brain for comedy or not? Really? No, I haven't compartmentalized, you know but what's what's kind of gets tricky is like when I'm gonna tour with the guys and

Like I'm doing my tour right now through February. So but I can't I usually don't tour at the same time I can but like really it's for like because I can't sell tickets in the same market For both tours, right? So if one of them goes like if we're usually they take press the big one takes precedent, right? And then when that's kind of through I'll start mine or at least like six months into it I'll start the dates that was six months before it. So it's like a rolling thing But since the pandemic we didn't have our fifth tour written yet and I had mine So and I had to cancel my tour from before the pandemic So so now I've been on tour the whole year and we don't start with them till February

So that we're gonna start writing that now that's stressful too because We don't do write comedy the way that we would individually So we got to do this like whole different process But they'll put up the sales the tickets before we even have a joke written. So I get like massive anxiety Pressure. This is like the fifth tour like over ten years that that's happened every two years when we're in this phase I get I get like chest pains like I don't know all the stress manifests itself Yeah, I got like shooting pains like my head and shit. Oh, yeah I go got EKG's this that and like stress and it's always this time. Oh, cuz it's so nerve-wracking to have people buying tickets to a show

That you haven't written a joke to yet. Can you imagine that? It's like I get like nauseous. Yeah Yeah, well, I mean, it's I think it's nice because it says something about that you want to show up with something legitimate for people Yeah, you know, you want to actually show, you know, some people wouldn't care that it's like, yeah, sell them whatever I'll get out there. Yeah, but you gotta juggle. Yeah, I know I know but I mean, you know It's different to it with other people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure that it's a totally different energy out there Yeah, I know whenever you say you came in you were taking your medicine. You say you just started taking one Yeah, I started like I guess it's got to be at least six months now. Oh, wow. Well butron And you've been on there. How well butron is that gangster, baby? Is it you told me that I didn't know it's the hit man

I'm really I think it is bro. Well butron Damn, I can feel that shit climbing up and down my cerebellum at night, bro. Really scaling the walls. Yeah Well butron, baby. Damn, that's shit. You try you've been on it That shit keeps a hatchet on its hip, baby. Really for me. It did well butron I was doing I got I started doing kind of some weird like a little bit of like not weird stuff, but I Like couldn't I wasn't doing good. I started spinning out. Yeah, but you feel good on it. Yeah, well, I was spinning out before Really? Yeah, so I talked to a couple people a couple people. I know we're on it So I so I was trying to tackle two things with my doctor

One was the anxiety and depression and the other one was that my ADHD and OCD oof So he's like both of those ones could affect the other in some ways and we got to treat one at a time So because we got to figure out what what you react well to and not so he's like, which one do you want to tackle first? So I'm like, I've been living with ADHD, you know, you know an OCD forever Yeah, so like I didn't even know I didn't even know I had it until people started telling me Oh, no, and then I and then I realized like, oh, you don't have to live this way Like I didn't even know that before I just thought it was like normal Not remember anything to have shit racing through my mind at all times, you know what I mean like all that stuff

I just that's the way I always can't focus on anything But I just like it's the way I've always done it. So I just just do it. Yeah, just function with it Right, you thought this is who I am then I had a really good friend tell me like that he had all that stuff and he gave me a book and I Didn't read the book But he was like, yeah, I'm telling you you don't have to live this way at all So I went and I got a I went and I for years ago I went and when he gave me that book and I said frigging I'll go I took a test You know and I would they put me they put like straps on my wrist ankles and head really in head

Yeah, like I like like like that straps like hold me down, but like bands Right, do you ever take that? You ever you ever did anything like that ADHD or anything? I don't know I don't think I've had it. I could have it though. Yeah, I don't know so I went right So I go in this little room They sit in front of a computer and they and they say alright take the mouse and they're like you just gonna for like 20 25 minutes you're gonna sit in here and you're gonna watch a screen and when you see like a shape click on the shape Oh, no, like some real rudimentary shit. Yeah, so I was like, oh, yeah, I guess so they put this shit on me I went in there 20 minutes and I'm seeing a triangle and click in a circle and click in and like this is the easiest thing

And I started to get worried because I'm like I'm acing this right like they're gonna tell me I don't have this shit right and I'm I'm here because I'm at my wit's end with it and they're about to tell me I don't have it So I'm just clicking and clicking. I'm like I'm dominating I thought I got a hundred and then they came in they took the thing they took the print out They came back to accessibility. They go you have severe adhd severe. Wow. So I don't know what the test really was I don't know if it was like measuring my fidgeting, but I don't know how that's an indicator I really don't know how it works. I should have asked but so then

They tried to give me a what's that stuff that like hyper focuses you. Oh, uh, riddling no no the other one Oh, yeah riddling for adults us. Um, like it's like uh, it's like speed Yeah, it's crazy. It's like uh, people snored it too. Yeah, it's like it's like very very common I don't know why it's blanking. Yeah. Why can't we think of it? It's like, um, I think it starts with a um, what a yeah I think it starts with a a dude. Do you I don't know what it is anybody? Adderall Adderall Damn

They gave me a time release adderall 20 20 and the middle grounds or whatever it is It's like the game. It's like a game show with drugs just Yeah, it's like that. Uh, what is that? Uh, okay, uh, blue pill It's like it wouldn't that be crazy That's the future dude. Why biagra. Oh, no, the future is just a game show Which is people just all the answers are drug names just trying to win the drugs. Yeah over tracks Yeah Go on though. I interrupted you man. No man. They gave me that and I said, you know, I don't really I don't really like taking

Any kind of drugs prescribed me on smoke weed but prescription and he's like, all right Here's what you do. Take it down days. You think you really need it. That's it like you have to just take it on days So I waited and then one day I had a day So I was like, let's try it. I took it. It was the worst experience. So it was it was terrible, dude on adderall Yeah, uh, I stayed up for two days. I didn't go to sleep two days and sweating profusely for two days And you get dehydrated too on it. That's the crazy thing dude, I so the whole the first night came And I was I was like wired all day

And then my lady went to sleep and I was like, I'll be to sleep in a little while It was like the stereotypical thing. I stayed up all night cleaning the house was scrubbing shit It was really stereotypical like yeah, and then I and then I started like my heart was beating on my chest. I was Pouring sweat. I looked like I just I was jogging. I was just in the house and I woke her up I'm like, this doesn't feel good, man. And she's like, this is insane. You know, whatever, but then she had to go back to bed Oh, yeah, but then I was like, oh, yeah, that's love right there No, she's like, you want to go to the hospital? I was like, no and she's like, what do you want to do? I'm like, there's nothing I can do. I was like, I'm just gonna keep cleaning. I don't want to do a puzzle

I want to open a business Wake me up in an hour, bro My friends sometimes I'd be so coped out and I'd have him around. I'd be like, bro, you got to come spend some time with me He'd come over and he'd be like, uh, you probably gonna be fine to wake me up in an hour. That's what he was telling me Was it comforting just to know he was there? I don't know Just talking about his body. Well, then I started tripping in circles because I've like I just finally started to fall asleep I'm like, fuck. I gotta wake this dude up in an hour Now you have a chore

You got you came there and gave you a responsibility now. I gotta stay up to wake this Yeah, man, but and then I thought I was gonna fall asleep that night Didn't and I'm like, all right someday the next day. I'm gonna crash. I didn't I stayed up through two nights You're like Sully Sullivan Or whatever that guy's name is that guy in the plane Dude, we'll not crash It will not crash That's funny, dude. No, I I took two days. It was a time release formula apparently

And um, and then I never took it again And then like like when I was getting on the world future, I was talking to my doctor now Who I trust way more who is like my childhood? I went to high school with him. So trust him and um He was like whoever gave you that gave you the wrong dose the wrong kind the wrong everything He's like that could be effective for you but not in that way So we started he's a let's start with the anxiety and depression because You know that that was really pronounced coming out of the couple of years that we had and all that stuff like that

And I already lived with that. I already just had that. Yeah from growing up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So so uh, yeah So so I started with the world butron. I didn't feel nothing But he said it'll take a few weeks and and now I feel like kind of adjusted to it. Yeah You know, it's hard to it's like not a magic pill they say and it's it's hard to sometimes discern Because it's not like I'm bulletproof now. No, I still like You know, sometimes can't get out of bed. Yeah or still like, you know I wake up and go to bed to my mind racing and worrying all day long about shit. Oh, yeah You know, but um, but it is definitely better. It was yeah. Yeah, it's almost like I can kind of like

It's not as frequent and not as severe. Yeah, that makes any sense Yeah, I feel like it kind of puts like bumpers on thing. It's like, yeah You're still bowling and the balls are every ball still going right in the thing all morning But there's bumpers on there. It's like the sound is softer. It's doesn't hit as heavy. Exactly. Exactly, right? Yeah They kind of take away the cymbals, you know, yeah So yeah, but I didn't know it was like you said it was For me, it was crazy I remember I was trying to decide on something to do and I got into some like loop and I couldn't get out

I couldn't make a decision and when I would make a decision my brain would serve the same Issue back to me like I hadn't made a decision And so yeah, just that medicine had a bad reaction to so right now I'm just on a low dose lexa pro right now I took I took that like a few years ago and Same thing low dose every day. That was my first try of anything and that work I felt that work kind of pretty fast, but then it affected disappeared. Yeah. Yeah

Sexually is no good. Oh We'll see. Thankfully. I've never been really great sexually. So it's like I'll put a pill I'll take the wiener laws Of zoloft right to the head of my penis, you know, it's just but dude, I got on zoloft Could we take medicine that way though? Oh like people take suppositories like a subpoena tory. Yeah subpoena tory Yeah, that's not crazy. We might have just invented something Dude, if well the last thing we want is to slip it off and stuff and pills up there. We that's because it doesn't exist

Shit, I don't think you know if you want it. Yeah, you're right. What if they, you know, they're not stupid the people that make these things Yeah, what do they make it amenable? What does amenable mean? Like it's just you know, it's it's It's not that bad. It's it's you're okay with it, you know, like you're oh, wow It's agreeable. You know what I mean? Yeah, and then all of a sudden like you just kind of like just Hey, I mean, I don't know how that's easy than putting it in your mouth, but what if somebody's hands are burned yet? It's a little more of a game show What if somebody your hands are burned or something you're at a bar and you have to have your buddy stuff one up, you know

That's will be a problem. Donny hit me with this. Yeah, I would switch back to Did you ever do they have to do suppositories and you're growing up? Yeah, I I remember them I don't remember if they went up me But they must they must have because they went up my sister I know that because one time my sister was real little she was like Three and like my mom was trying to give her one and I forget why I don't know when we were sick I do a bit on this actually about how they used to take our temperature up our ass when we were little too Which is fucking wild right now. They have a laser gun. Yeah, you know and they used to stick that shit up our ass

Like I don't understand what they were getting at like it was more definitely more area 51 back there, right? Yeah Like I was like, I don't know why my word to this woman that I don't feel well isn't good enough Or feel my forehead, you know, yeah, but then they'd be like no, let's let's let's stick this up your ass against your will Let's go and really get to the bottom of it. Let's really get that temp, you know Like he feels warm, but I want to know to the to the decimal So let's shove this glass right up his anus Penetrate this sick bitch or we'll never know if he needs a cough drop. It doesn't make any sense. You know what I mean? Can you pull up suppositories? Let's see what let's see you some informational suppositories here

I'm interested about that I hadn't thought of it in a while But when you said it an immediate memory came back to me that I hadn't had in forever Oh, my mom's trying to give my sister one and you know when you're young, you know, it's medicine But my sister's crying, you know, she didn't want that, you know, just weird all around It's very weird, right? And so I remember being like getting that defensiveness for my sister, right? And I was like I was like leave her alone You know, like I was like she's like two or three years younger than me and I'm like stop. She doesn't want to leave her alone

Like I'm breaking up Like I'm breaking up something something like you're making up a sex crime Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I remember I was like my mom was like stop. She has she has I'm like no And then my big thing was I kept going you're like coming at the doorway and shutting the light Then they were like pitch black and then she like stop it She put on the light and then I run back and shut the light like I'll save you He was like it's like dude. That's a person practical joke You're like suppository, but no lights

Oh Man what they created how to use medicine can get into your body A suppository is another way to deliver a drug small round or cone shaped object You put in your body often in your bottom. What about the history of suppositories? What I mean give the history of them, but who who said Let's put this up your ass instead of just like swallow this Well, because I think they didn't know maybe they might not have had as much science as to how quick things need to get into your body Maybe that or that they could get into

Because I know the One of the colons like will really absorb stuff real fast. Oh really? Yeah, because I think they pull all the vitamins and stuff out of your body Right, so that's what they're doing with food like they're really you know They're really it's a royal rumble down there and they're pulling out all the vitamins So I think they're like, oh, this will get the quickest into the bloodstream. Okay. Okay, you know, it's um Sometimes you see uh someone they try to tell you something. You don't know what they're saying And that is because they are speaking another language

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King Henry II was wounded in a jousting accident his body could not Retain fluid by mouth as doctors use a rectal suppository to keep the king alive Asked to mouth bro. Did they well, he just said by mouth. Oh, yeah, the rectal suppository Which is very unorthodox Yeah, I don't know what really is that about like we have an I don't even know if there was just a rectal suppository I and they tried to put it in my mouth. I might even say, you know, I just go rectal I don't want that in my mouth either. We have to swallow so fast for it to get down to your butt. Anyway Yeah, some let me see a in 1897 glycerin suppositories in 1897

Cocoa butter suppositories began to be mixed with water Gelatin and glycerin for easier insertion at the end of the world war II suppositories began being made with hard Uh fats The whole point was to make the suppository experience easier and more comfortable Yeah, well, I got that there was a meeting and someone's like let's throw cocoa butter in there. Yeah, you know Like a nice smooth fresh smelling inside. Oh, it's like a little it's like a it's like going a Maui for your butthole Uh, it's his intern. Let me live a little bit more here suppositories um

The benefited side words were known longer for the 21st century, but low quality capsules and liquids Have given rise to the demand for suppositories. Why isn't it called a depository? Yeah, a depository, huh, right? Because that's where you really that's where you deposit, right? Yeah It makes sense. I don't know what a suppository is Here's the here's what here's our fact that we need. It's like I suppose this may work. Yeah We've been saying it wrong the whole time. It's a suppository. It's like he goes nothing Yeah, let's let's Well, you might die, but I suppose we have one last thing to try

Dude, it's like that that sounds like something that uh, like um, that sounds like like if you only have like a cheap insurance It's like It's like, uh Hold on. Here's this last thing. Um You got some magic beans when a liquid or capsule supplement reaches the stomach stomach acids will largely destroy The nutrients through the digestion process after the digestion process less than 10 of the capsule Or liquid supplement will be absorbed in the bud stream um

So they if you swallow, yeah, if you swallow through the stomach acids So they thought dang we're gonna beat the stomach and go straight to the butt. Okay. Wow So oh, that's the big one. How long do you keep a suppository in? Oh, I thought you just put it in and forget about it like a crockpot I thought you just put it in and it dissipates or melts. I think you got to go back and get it Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, then the mic if you know what's going on here. You better. You have to go back You better call like lost. They got to go back and get it You better call your sister. You might have a couple loose in there that we I didn't know the process

I thought it was like you put it in and then it just like when you swallowed something You forget about you said it and you forget it If you use one more cooking term Wow, dude, no, I think you got to go back and get if you pat your sister on the back does she rattle a little We might we all might have a few in us that we don't just banging around Um, so then I really don't know how that works. Oh, you go half inch for infants and one inch for adults Hmm. Oh, there's a tool that used to do it. See it once the suppository is completely melted You can expect a bowel movement within 15 minutes to an hour

Oh, so how much oh, so you got a sh. Oh, so maybe you you bowel it out You know But I don't understand. What are you what are you taking back? What are you getting back? What's you get back the shell? The shell case like the bullet. Yeah I guess So you're not just putting the actual pill in your ass or whatever it is like it's not just a pill that We'll then just like how we take vitamins or whatever right, okay? But yeah, that looks like I guess that's the way that it transports it. It looks like a little bullet

Yeah, you know so you popping shells out there. Yeah, damn well Well, all right, did you ever think that you'd be on medication? Yeah, were you against it or you just had never really gotten introduced to it the right way same. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know you just This I just look at prescription. It's just like It's just fucked up like the world we live in is fucked up by prescription medication You know the commercials like you'll fucking die probably or maybe so it's like all right. Just do I really Maybe I'll just be depressed a little bit and then maybe not have

Diarrhea and maybe you know, yeah, yeah, are your teeth falling out? Yeah Oh, it's always something like that. Can you can if you can't stop putting on hats? It's like what? It's something that's crazy as a buddy of mine. It couldn't stop putting on hats. Really? Yeah, and he was gonna he was driving He was going nuts with it. Oh, so you wouldn't got that. No, I mean, you know, dude a buddy of mine Oh, you are Yeah, you don't have a friend who just couldn't stop Putting on hats. Yeah, for sure. No, no, there was a medication for it. I wouldn't be shocked, dude I wouldn't be shocked. Yeah

You know and it's some type of attention disorder or something. All right, all right, all right You know, I didn't know how a tampon works for a lot most of my life really Yeah, because I never really saw it in action. Yeah, just like the bullet, you know, which is great Yeah, and what what that you hadn't seen in an act. Yeah, it's fine. No, there's no need You know, there's no need But I remember one of my friends blew my mind because I just thought you put the whole thing in there And then you know, that's that. Yeah, but no, that is also just a receptacle that bullet. Hmm. You did you know that? Like do you know how that works? I never really thought about it. Yeah, I guess there's a retrieval process, huh?

Yeah, I think that you You put it in and then you dump that plastic thing. It's in I thought that used to go in there Yeah, it that just comes out of the way and it's just like a little like like cotton ball at the end of a rope. Oh, yeah Wow, so it's not as uh It doesn't sound as It sounds a little more simpler. It is simple, right? Yeah, I thought there was technology too Yeah, I thought they really had a real like a almost like um Like those braces or somebody that has like a bad jaw, you know, I thought they had a little bit more

Uh of a template going on there. Yeah, me too. Huh. I thought it was like, you know, there's nails that you put into the wall That they they once they go in they spread out so they can't come back I thought like you put it in there and the plastic like opened up and I was like and that's what kept it there Yeah, it shuts it and then you had to pull it with the rope. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not it literally is just like a cotton ball at the end of a string It should come with a little sign. They put on their leg. It's like go around, you know or like uh Uh Seats taken, you know

They should be like, uh, like uh, almost like uh, uh, uh, what do you call those china? What do you call those things? fortune cookie There's a little fortune on it. Oh Winning numbers just make it fun, you know, because everyone it's already tough You know when when I when I think comes around it's already tough. It's cramps is I would hate it. I would hate it. Oh if I had to have it. Thank god. I don't imagine if every once a month You ate a really bad chicken sandwich, dude, and it wouldn't leave you for like a week Yeah, I can't imagine it and it got to say you got lodged into your bowels and started flapping its wings, dude

That's what's up. That's what I heard. It's like my friend's daughter used to work at uh, uh chicken My friends owned a chicken sandwich place and his daughter used to work there And she told me that one time and it blew my mind She told you that She goes imagine if you had a really bad chicken sandwich And then he got once a month and he got lodged in your bowels and started flapping its wings I was like wow and and she her father owned the chicken place so So they have you know, that's

That's good knowledge. I feel like um Right, you know she might have firsthand knowledge of a bad chicken sandwich right and she's like this is exactly what it's like Oh, I mean, yeah, that's a good way to describe it Dude, I had a buddy who bit into a who ate one of those subway, uh I had a friend who ate a starbucks sandwich And he couldn't can't open his eyes. He's in like a lawsuit actually. Can you look that up? Man can't see after a starbucks sandwich or something like that made the paper. Huh your friend. Oh, oh, uh, yeah

I mean, I'm sure there's got to be something on it Oh, all right, but he he hadn't been able to see since he had this fucking sandwich. That's the most Insane thing I've ever heard in my life. What did he what's which sandwich? Let me serve you back to my staff. What do we have here? I think it was the impossible one I mean, it's ap apropos Yeah, that's a good point. If you put that in the title though, does that cover you? Yeah, we said like anything can happen with this, you know, don't you're not gonna believe this, but

I know it's gonna sound impossible, but It's a chance you might lose your vision No, I mean that's I mean Starbucks your your buddy's gonna be like Your buddy's gonna own Starbucks. He might have in one or two. I don't know how much it costs to to do the uh saying to do the um What's it called when you give them out, but you make people pay for them? the businesses You give them out or you know, it's like, um

Oh franchise franchise. Yeah, okay He's gonna get a franchise out of it. I don't know People suit. I mean, look, there's been a there's certainly been people that have had things happen And what they wanted in the lawsuit was the actual business the actual yeah Like that Seinfeld episode with Jackie Childs. He gets coffee spilled on them and they give him free coffee for life He's like, I'll take Oh, that's wild man. But yeah, man the uh, would you would you? What sense would you lose if you had to lose one gotta be smell right? Let me think

You already can't smell that good. So I would probably do sight would be so hard man. Yeah, right Could be so you go in sight or sound first if you had to choose Sound You you lose sound first because you could always just Guess what's happening Yeah, and you could use you could sign language. Yeah, I guess the sounds okay You mean like if you saw a band

You'd know like the sound that was making. Yeah, and also if they suck you can just play your favorite song in your head Well, people like are very capable that are Deaf, you know, like they live normal lives Right, I guess blind people do too. But yeah, I think I would lose I don't know man. That's gotta be so fucking tough. But smell could smell. Fuck it, right? I mean like I would just be like take the smell. Yeah, take it. I know someone who was born without a sense of smell It fascinates me. They never smelled a thing. Uh-uh. Yeah, it's not wow. Yeah, it's unbelievable Kai it was to work with you think it helps him or do you think it makes things does he seem different?

Do you have any more intel on him? I know him so he's I would never you would never know it ever until he told us And uh, he was born that way like so he's never smelled a thing And you know, you wouldn't know it, but like I don't know. I guess in that way you don't know what you're missing Yeah, I would think but food can't be as good. It's because it's things that are a sensory experience, you know, like He doesn't experience, you know, if you if you just took a shower and you were culloned up or something like that Yeah, just your natural musk. Yeah, you know your pheromones. He might not even fall in love with you You might have the best pheromones out there. Oh my god because pheromones go through your nose. I think

Can you look that up, please sir? How do we know about pheromones? But he's never like, you know, coffee in the morning or bacon cooking or Garlic and for us spaghetti sauce or something like that Now bacon cooking breakfast cooking that would that would hurt a little man when you know that somebody Gave a fucking up in the in the house to heat up a damn grill and you wake up that way. It's like already a good day. You're like It's like already a good day. You're like, that's those little things. He's never experienced. Isn't that wild? Yeah Best smells Best smells. I think definitely something cooking and you're saying something like with garlic that does smell good

Bacon smells good breakfast smells good bakeries We're past the bakery. I want to punch somebody in the mouth Carnivals, I feel like have a smell like it wasn't let's say you went to a carnival Oh, I went to one. Oh, dude. I'll tell you this. I went to one a while back and they had the Roller thing or the spinning wheel Went through they had a bees nest up there, dude. So it's just It goes around what you mean the uh like a ferris wheel ferris wheel. No way There was a bees nest on top. No not on top of the thing but up in one of the trees up there

So every now and then no way the fuck That's hysterical that's terrorizing dude, it was because you know that guy ain't stopping, you know, I was like, please stop it You remember when you were a kid and you went on you're like, please stop it. They didn't stop that shit I think that dude had no sense. He was screaming He was like that chef from the muffins. I don't think that guy had any He had no senses and remember the um the The spinning around one with the um gravatron remember that? Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with that one. Really? I can't no

No, no, I can't you did. Oh, we're like your centrifugal force kept you on a thing That's so and then it would lift up and some of them would tilt and shit to me That's this things that are fun. Like I'll do a scrambler Oh scrambler was hard the scrambler is what I could do But that just spin around and just see your whole equilibrium get like I didn't see the point of that whatsoever And that's the one where people would throw up and just it would spray everybody And you ran that risk if you went on that and I saw that

I saw that often you saw that often. Oh, yeah, there was one there's the outdoor one But there's then there's the one where you go in it looks like a UFO And then you're getting out of there at all, you know, I mean like that's the guy in the middle was always playing rock and roll And this dude bus was all perved out dude And he would get his fucking wiener out bro and you couldn't help but look at it So he like had you trapped and like this like wiener vision kind of did you think like maybe because you were going so fast You just caught a glimpse. Oh, maybe like maybe I'm just seeing something totally. So this guy's tricking everybody Yeah, so it's a perfect job for him. Oh, perfect job. Instead of having to be a peep in time

You're just bringing them all to you, you know, and it's just a blur and you're like, was that was that his was that his And then then you get off you throw up. You don't even you know, you're just too You know, there was that other one you remember the one I think it was called like it's called different things But maybe like the avalanche or something So it's you get in a cart, right? So me and you are sitting together two maybe two behind us And then it goes in a circle, but it goes up and down in the circle It's outside and there's a dj. It's at all like the like the old school ones Full of avalanche. Can we see what we're seeing here, brother?

And and it goes in a circle But it goes up and down in the circle and it starts going faster and faster and they're playing like, you know Hip like jukebox hero and they're blasting it and it's so what happens is the person on the outside gets fucking crushed But you're laughing and then they do it in reverse. You never did this one This is like this is a this is a very popular one the avalanche. Yeah, this is it Oh, no that not that one It goes in in a circle the zipper about that right there. See that see that one right there to the bottom down Yeah, that's it. Maybe it's I always thought it was something like the snowstorm or the avalanche or whatever. Oh, that's the

And all these things are always under the shadiest LLCs because These things are just waiting to see how it goes up and down like the Himalaya the Himalaya. Yeah, I am That thing was fun. I would do that one that Himalaya daddy. Damn. I remember um Um, they had um these zipper was the scariest one And people would damn I mean just people would be vomiting up ejaculate. I mean people were just getting so sick on that and rattled I don't know. Oh that oh, yeah, see I wouldn't do that here. Oh, that's when those things are flipping and sliding So it's three things, right? It's going around but then those things are sliding themselves And then the individual pods are

Circling. Oh, yeah, so it's triple it that that to me. I don't I didn't understand that I don't even understand how anyone would want to go on that Yeah, because you don't have any there's no real sense. I don't feel like of joy It's just a total sense of a fuck you. Yeah, endure it. Yes, you know what I mean, like that's what it's like It's like hey endure it. It looks like it would be like a you know, uh Torture trap or something like that. Yeah, it's very it does have a very german vibe to it Um, you see you here, you know, you know when you go to a carnival and everything They just pull up with like the trucks and they open them up and they'd start building that shit like in a parking lot

Like those like not like six legs like those. Yeah, those are those are crazy shady You said like the llc's and the people running them are just Drug ad like guys like stoners just straight stoners and like I've seen one where the truck was like losing balance You see them on you could you too them all the time like that the avalanche Like you see it like almost gonna and the people jump on it to weigh it down People are saving people all the time. Oh, you see like they're on the swings and then you just see someone launch Now how does that not close the swings down for life? Like the guy tried to light his shoes on a plane

It didn't even work. Yeah 20 years ago. We take off our shoes right now People are being launched from those swings like every few days And they still do it. There's no rules because look I think like I think there's part of you that wants to see See that's part of you I think if you get thrown on that thing you want to almost get thrown again To see how far you can go you want to beat your distance. You're dead You know you are dead google what percentage of people die from a carnival accident

That's a stat Oh, yeah, you don't percentage of people die out of the people on the earth It's got to be low or people that get into the accidents. You know what i'm talking about brother How often would someone get into an accident on this thing? Yeah, like how likely are you to get into an accident on this? Yeah, I don't know how we can even do all the math. I guess. Yeah, it would take a long time. I would love to see the stat Damn, man But got carnival ride accidents occur more than we think. Oh, there we go. Hmm. I don't know if that's true

I think they occur a decent amount When I was a younger we went to the giant stadium between the metal lens Uh-huh, and uh, oh, yeah, was it cool? They had a metal lens fair and it was the biggest one in our area hard not it was all in yorkers of july Oh, I bet a lot of hotties, huh? Oh, oh, yeah a lot. Yeah summer months But they they would like really like it was big too. They set up the whole thing. Yeah But they would have cool stuff like I saw a baby get hurt there

But not so my friend and I saw a strong baby though. I like frankie edger No, yeah, right like frankie edger about his size and I love frankie dude. I mean too I Dude, I had a frankie egg. It was in my dream last night. I didn't realize yeah as a baby I mean if he was he was pound for pound the best baby out there. I'll say that no as a wreck He's all Harman. I love that guy as an adult. No, I love it too, man. Um That's so crazy. I just remember that. Anyway, go on go on. No. No, my friend was throwing, uh softballs Like legit softballs like to win some some shit. I forgot what he would but yeah

Oh, no, I know what it was It was a baseball and it was like they would put the glass bottles on the shelves and you could just launch them and try Oh plates and and what happened was The he he threw our baseball as hard as you could but he hit the wood Underneath the thing and just came flying back at us at nearly the same speed And we moved and it hit the ground popped up and went right into a carriage Uh, right into a baby carriage. Oh my my dad used her the baby screaming And we were like, oh my god. And we just like literally like like just

Like abandon him. Yeah. Wow. And that baby now is adam frazier who plays for the c adam mariner guys He's a second baseman and he's doing well I hope I don't think the baby got like mauled but like a baseball definitely disrupted its flow in that You know, and then it was screaming like you know crying. I don't know if it got like clipped or anything But well, I'm sure every time it sees like a solar eclipse Anything round come on. Yeah, even if you just whisper take I'm sure you can't get a suppository in it after that. I bet it's a little tight, buddy. Damn But they had weird shit like they they used to do also carny stuff

The metal ants so it's like, you know, you so what it's a is like pay a dollar Okay, and go behind this thing. Oh, yeah, and see the church The wolf man or the small world smallest horse. I met I met the world's smallest horse tom thumb A couple years back Maybe to pull that up on my instagram Maybe somebody can and send you the link might be it's at the bottom somewhere. Where'd you where'd you where'd you meet me? He was touring and um I guess

Out there out here somewhere california riverside thumb is his has a surname Tom thumb. Yeah So I guess he does. Yeah, I don't know great. Was he a great horse or how was he I mean bro as far as horses go He was how miniature He was he had to be this big wow It blew my mind Is that him right there? No, that looks like a pig and fucking

with and they kind of uh Glued some hair on his body, huh? That's a pig, isn't it? Thumbelina horse. Wow Also a thumb name a miniature horse. It could have been a sister of her then or a brother of her Well, they had the world's smallest woman now I don't know if she was the world's smallest really couldn't check that out at the time, but I paid the dollar Yeah, and uh, it was kind of wild I went behind the thing and behind that like the truck like it was a design on it like meet the worlds, you know

And I don't know how I feel about The whole thing. Yeah, I guess she's making money, right? She she might maybe can't get a traditional job Right, so I guess maybe she found a niche. Maybe she has a family in the in the carnival world Like now, you know, she travels with people it's social and she's getting paid Hopefully well, but it did feel weird to be like pay money to see this, you know, because The air around it is that it was like a freak show in a way. Okay. I see what you're saying, you know What's kind of the original only fans it feels like Yeah

In a way, right? That's the just the like literal like mono only like the the lo-fi only fans. Yeah Yeah, it is It was a dollar. Yeah, and it was a dollar was a fair and it was once a year for a what a better deal you got Once a year you paid you saw you kept the image with you throughout the year You weren't really sure I remember this lady right this second And I saw that her like 30 years 20 years ago 25 So I went behind it and behind it She was in like the the cut out of the trailer and inside of it. They made it look like a home

And she was sitting in a rocking chair knitting Uh-uh. Yeah, she was like that big Oh Yeah And what age was she she was looked older. She looked middle-aged like an older woman. Thank god Why? I'm just glad she's had a life, you know, and this is not like they're not out here like, you know Just height trafficking or something, you know, like, you know, she's got you know, there's like seven other small

I wanted this understudies, you know, because what if she gets sick? That's a revenue stream that's not gonna shut down Dude, Angela said Yeah, but it wasn't like dwarfism unless it was but it was like but she was like It wasn't like, you know, we like that it was like she was like that big Yeah, and she was sitting in in a rocking chair like a miniature. I gotta be honest. It looked very cozy and like Oh, like they made it look really cozy. Like she actually lived I wonder if she actually lived there not I'm thinking about it. She might add you might like she might just be like She might like they might close the front and then that's just her house because it looked like a house in there

Let's pull that up world's smallest woman. Can we get some information here, brother? Um, I'm trying to think of the yeah, the horse I saw was so small man. You could I bet it would be kind of nice to be so small because your parts are right there Imagine taking a nap when you're so little. It must feel so good I get that but in reality, how far is your hand from you? Like you have you have everything right there, too, though Look how far Imagine like this like that. Oh Hey, buddy

There's just less time It's just like yeah, how quick you can get a snack into you. Okay. Oh, so there. Yeah, I mean there are there's pros and cons to everything Like Kevin Durant probably takes a little over a second to get a snack into his mouth You think yeah, he probably he's he doesn't experience the joys of the world's smallest woman No And to be able to just to open a peanut you put it in one hand and then punch it with the other And that was all of that Oh, so fun just like punching peanuts at because to her it's like

Yeah, the peanuts like uh, almost like a circus peanut. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah There you go. Yeah, okay Yeah, yeah, t kishanji amji That's not who I saw but is an indian actor's notable reading the world's Shortest living woman now. I guess are we saying shortest? Are we saying smallest because there's a there's kind of something different there They I think from what I gather my memory serves. They said smallest, okay And this woman two foot three quarter inch How big is that? Wow

That's like what this woman was though. Wow. Yeah, so she might have just not entered in the contest there's no There's no Swimming ever Um, I mean even a shallow one's three feet That's true, huh? There's no, I mean there's you have to Can you swim is your by wonder if you can swim? With only that much propeller, you know I'm saying kind of yeah, but think of like a chihuahua chihuahua can

It's a great point. You know what I mean? Yeah I gotta say nothing though. Who makes the clothes too? Oh pervs Probably or they get them off dolls I was thinking but like Really you think they get them off dolls? We had a small guy at our school and his daddy would get clothing off of some dolls for him once in a while Yeah You know when you run a business at time seems more precious

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Try something This past weekend listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Thio that's better help.com slash theo I mean some dolls, you know, they have some like I could see it on some dolls Well, dolls have a lot of nice stuff these days. Here we go right here Play it up. Get that volume out How long he gonna be here today for Oh, he'll be here all day. How small is he?

Dang boy He's alive, too And he's alive, too? They had to see him baby He's going to see a carcass Did you go in? Oh, yeah, I went. Oh, you wouldn't let you take the camera him? No Oh, wow, that's ip. I guess he was so small man. God, I still remember him

How do you yeah, you seem like you said Oh, I don't know if I feel sad. I guess this is nostalgic. It was a fun day at that fair Though smallest woman can ride that smallest horse. Oh beautiful and and they probably are in the same fair So maybe it's like she's trotting around on that thing. I'm sure at night they meet up Dude, I remember one time I was in iraq doing a military show And one lady hit me up on social media and uh offered to meet me in a black car helicopter and give me a blowjob give me a little bit of oral

and uh And I didn't do it man. I got just too nervous out, you know, it's a unique scenario for sure Yeah, and I just didn't know what protocol was. I don't want to be some dude Who looks like an insurgent or whatever. Yeah, you know because I have long hair Yeah, so I just didn't want to this lady was on the clock This lady was a bona fide Military woman. Really? Oh, yeah. Now. Did she think the blowjob offer in and of itself wasn't going to be enough Like why did she sweeten the deal with a black Hawk helicopter? She just said the flight is uh

The flight thing isn't secured tonight or whatever so we could meet up in a black Hawk and I'll give you a blowjob But you weren't going to take flight. No, no, no, no, no maybe in here Yeah, maybe in my head, dude, but yeah, no, but and uh and also I remember this is and this is the part I feel worst about kind of is this she had a huge either a animal had bitten her on the neck or a huge acne a huge one acne Okay, and uh, I was just like I felt like it would almost be a game show. What was going to bust first? Oh my god, she had a fucking IED under her neck

Yeah, man, so it's just now I could see a little dangerous I could see now where the hesitation came in. Yeah, you know because but if there was if that wasn't there Would you have been black Hawk down on that? Oh, yeah, that's black Hawk down. That's her version Yeah, she uh, you know if the goiter if the goiter wasn't there you would have had that experience Because that's almost hard to turn down like it would take a goiter or something like that to To thwart this experience. I should not have turned it down God what an idiot because it's a good story that it was offered, but it'll be an amazing story if you got it I know I think I was just so I didn't know if we would be what if we got caught and then I'm giving a bad

Look to this group. There was just some other implications and dude some other lady If you go over there for the military dude, somebody you'll they'll do sex with your brother men or women Because they had people I mean out on their morning jog stopping by To see what was going on another lady tried to come by and have sex one time Um, they must like the single single people in the military must Bang each other like there's nobody's business

They must because they know they're only gonna be there for a few years, you know I think it gets kind of territorial though. I had a friend of mine, uh, maria sailor that came in for fleet week Yeah, I used to work at his neighborhood bar and we were on the water in stan island And every year the same week all the sailors came in and they would invade the town, you know Would they wear their uniforms full out? They know what they're doing. They bring it up sailor uniform they would wear the uniform because First of all, we we give them a lot of free drinks because thank you for your military Yeah, and then they and then the chicks, you know, they pick up check and even the female officers would come in

Like, you know and everywhere rhymes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they would all wear it Well, that definitely is from party city, but we are members of Yeah, that's party city. Can we look at a real military uniform? And uh, yeah, this girl. I knew uh, just started dating this guy didn't I'm getting married Wow like that or like, uh, there we go. No white in the whites. Okay Let's see a white military. I don't know the difference. There you go like that on the right the top right over there That's what they were coming with the hat too swear

Yeah, yeah the hat dude. Oh come in packs So like all of a sudden like 10 guys 10 or 10 sailors and they'd be having many women. Yeah Were they sing songs? No, no week. Yeah, that's a week, dude. Bro. Remember the cruise we went on They ordered a lot of sauteed spinach. Really? Yeah. No. No. Oh That was a Popeye reference that didn't land. Oh Remember him Oh, Popeye. Hell yeah, remember probably live action Popeye though

Yeah, Robin Williams play Popeye. Did he he did the voice? He did he didn't do the voice. It was a live action I'm like a real film. I'm talking about the cartoon. Can we get that cartoon of Popeye? Yeah, but but you've never seen Robin Williams play Popeye With uh, celly duval as olive oil. Never Dude, it is a classic. I never knew this existed and I cannot wait. Look at his forms. Oh, it's great. Oh, wow You know, I this is one of the tapes I played till it broke when I was a little Dude, I'm so excited to watch this. I didn't know this existed. I didn't know they had this You're gonna like this man. He fights a giant squid. Uh, uh, yeah

Yeah, when I was little like Popeye was I don't think kids know Popeye today No, I don't think they know about it and Popeye also who did the voice for Popeye the cartoon. There you go There he was Yeah And you know because that was like the original g. I Joe was Popeye. Yeah, like people don't realize that that's who we I had Popeye on the video game too I don't think we had that but we had Popeye's chicken in Louisiana. So every way is that this is that yeah Is that him? It was oh, it was because you used to get the figurine if you went over there to give you the figurine

Oh, really? So that's his fried chicken. I don't I don't get the connection. Yeah Uh sailor and the fried chicken. I don't get it. I think they just I think they had named it Popeye's and then Retro retrofitted it in they might have Let's uh, so jack Mercer did the voice there for Popeye the sailor Can you get the youtube of jack Mercer doing that voice or will that we won't be able to use it? You started to say something when I said Popeye that I I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. Oh cruise We went I went on right on right on right on. Yeah Yeah, they just had a cruise issue. What was that thing in the news too? Let's let's let's I want to hear this jack Mercer

Do the voice can we see him do the voice? I ate spinach because of him I didn't like spinach. I didn't like veggies, you know, and I wouldn't eat it and my dad would be like one And a two and a pair of three the votes are all in Well, they're not something of the voice would creep through there and it worked out beautifully. Number one. Mr. Goldwater. I don't think this is it South Amboy New Jersey plan. No, he's not it. Did this use this is a question you think No, I think he was he was on that game show that was to tell the truth

So for those people are like lying about who they are once telling the truth. It was an old game show So he was the contestant telling the truth as the voice of Popeye. Hmm Do we have jack Mercer does voice of Popeye? I just wanted to hear it again I wish I could do that voice Yeah, wouldn't wouldn't you do voices if you could all day? Oh, I'll do this See me. Tell me who this is. Okay They said it would take a man 600 years to get out of this year prison, but annie do frame did it in less than 20 Yeah

That's a little weak today, but no, that's that's that's Morgan Freeman. Thanks. Yeah That was good. Actually. Thanks, man. I closed my eyes for a little bit of it I see we were going with it. If it's something you don't do all the time. I I felt There was something in there with it. Yeah, I don't do voices though Um, you don't I don't I wish I could We had Kyle Dunnigan was on he doesn't really well. You ever do voiceovers You ever get in the animated show? Um, I got offered two animated shows. Such a good voice. Oh, thanks, man You have a strong distinct voice with good diction. Thank you. Yeah, you do

That's very easy to tell. I I uh, I Sal sorry. I don't know what I called you. I didn't say sol. I said sol sol Do people say both sometimes? So it's Salvatore. It's S. A. L. Sal the only person that calls me sol 30% of the time you have to know in for 10 years is david tell And I don't correct them because it's david tell So some nights I'm south some nights I'm sol But are you ever sol Sol now because that's almost span. It's like with salt. They say like our salima or solid

Do you have that jack Mercer? We couldn't find it Okay, no worries, man. Dude. We went on. Um, thank you. We went on your cruise, man Yeah, and the cruise line just got in trouble. What was that news? You came on cruise one right it was cruise one celebrity cruises sued Yeah, we got celebrity cruises sued. Uh, the medics gave HIV infected blood. Wow. Yeah, why do they have HIV infected blood then? You know, why do they have that on them on the on the cruise? Um, a celebrity cruises passenger says her medical emergency came an absolute nightmare

They gave her blood transfusion from someone who had HIV. Dang. That's bad luck. Oh Seven day cruises started december 4th. So winter time And she says doctor Yeah, I know it's gastrointestinal, but she started suffering from rectal bleeding. That's why she went for help What's going on there? What's going on there suppositories, dude? I'm telling you that's how probably And this could have been one of them because of some of these cruises, man It's a lot of people out there doing pills and doing sex. Yeah Uh announcing staff solicited blood from passengers over the ship's pa system said they needed type a negative

Uh, that's my type. It is swear. That's my type. Yeah You know yours is that song about blood? What is that song? Um, this woman says four passengers stepped up to donate blood and she got the transfusion. Wow And someone stepped up to give blood with HIV Like yo, what the fuck is that about like they didn't know either. They didn't know No, I mean that's the tough guy this whole thing. There's a lot of people at fault here. Yeah And sometimes it's like if you at the if you're I remember when we're out on the cruise We couldn't even get fresh milk. So it's like you sometimes you're out there. You got to take what you can get

Especially if you're gonna die Was our cruise your first cruise that you were ever on? No, I went on this thing called semester at say it was like a floating school Oh, wow that went around the whole world actually Are you around the planet you how long was that? It was 100 days And you and we I went I was a student. I worked in the bookshop on the boat. Yeah What how old were you? I was 19 years old. Oh, no, I was 20 years old. So it was like college Yeah, it was colleges. They still do it. It's called semester at sea and you go

And have you spoken about this before? I don't know if I've spoken much about it. I've never heard you really that's a very That's a very interesting crazy thing you did. It was crazy. You know, so where did you go? We started in vancouver canada And then we finished in florida. We went all the way around the whole world you go around everywhere And you went to class had homework. Yeah, and then also worked like your life was did you dock? Yeah, we would dock how often did you dock and you were able to five days or three days or five nights or three nights? We would dock. Okay. Japan, china, vietnam, malaysia, Kenya, brazil. We went cuba Dude, we did it. Are you serious? Yeah, let me ask you a question

What was the breakdown of like how often you had to do schoolwork? Like did you did you were you able to maintain your focus and your studies to or was it just like Come on now like everybody just like phoned it in and it was just like caligula on it No, you couldn't phone it in you had to like it was pretty the the teachers were pretty harsh Okay, so you really had to really do it, you know, so you really had to do so you did you went to What was your schedule like was it every day every day class started? I think at 8 a.m. Or 9 a.m. I can't remember Every day it would alternate except for days when you're in port

So when you're in the port you could go do stuff and travel and do whatever you wanted You just had to be back when the ship left or you could use the ship as hotel and stay at hotel Okay, so okay, so you would you would also have the option to go get a hotel off the ship Yeah for the days because I was about to say how could you live for a hundred days and not get little In a little like cruise room like that. Yeah, we'd be crazy. You had a roommate in there and um, wow It was if you don't like your roommate. Yeah You suck How was your roommate? Oh my roommate was great, dude. My roommate was a great guy

Ryan Thomas you talked him to this day He a few years after the ship. He passed away man. He was doing basketball. He went to A Some school up in the north california mountains like that weed school. What's that weed school up there? Chino or cheapo cheeto That cheeto it's like It's like a place where the kids all do weed and everybody's growing weed and eating weed people are made out of weed People have little weed dolls and stuff voodoo dolls even made out of weed. It sounds fantastic. Yeah

It sounds like he died of a heart attack because it was so amazing Yeah So anyway, r.i.p. Brother. So anyway, he passed away, but um, the cruise was it was an unbelievable experience, man I mean, it was just you know, you were just you could get two wines a night You got tickets for wines and they had to borrow me get two wines a night But we had a guy on there that died bra During the cruise yet his dude died. We were at sea for like 12 days or something something happened He died and they put him in the freezer

Yeah Man, I've heard of that. So they put him in there with them with the pork loin, baby That's crazy. Do you know how he died? My huh? You know how he died? I'm not sure was that like Did that were people just like oh shit somebody died or were you like? Oh my god Like there's a someone just died a student died and is in the freezer. Oh, it was a this guy was a senior citizen Oh, okay, because you had a couple see about nine seniors on there going to college on the cruise And yes, I'm like, uh, old man. That's like it takes somebody to be like I'm going to go back to college as an adult is one thing. That's already tough

Then to be like, I'm going to go to sea for a hundred days So he just died. He couldn't hang bro. Did they give him an honorary? Uh discharge. I don't know if we like put him into the sea like they did with um Osama bin la. I don't know what they did. I do remember we did a funeral form one day whoa I remember we did a funeral and people dressed up and We put flowers out into the um ocean and stuff and the crews did a big circle like that. It was like a Oh my god, I forgot about that

I wish I knew his name mark. I think in a hundred days you could have multiple relationships Like did you have a mini life within that hundred days? Yeah, like you got new friends knew this knew that like you know what I'm saying Oh, yeah, there's people from like different countries on there It was crazy, bro. What made you do that? Like was that expensive? I'm sad because I never heard of this. Yeah, it's called semester. See it wasn't that it was uh I it wasn't that expensive man. I mean I worked and saved up so many I had to spend like six thousand of my own dollars So yes, that was a lot of money. Yeah, but I worked, you know to do it and then I got financial aid from my school So that applied to it. Okay, and then a friend um, I got a scholarship from the school

Okay itself from the semester at sea. Wow. So I was really supported, you know, or I definitely You know, I was grateful that people helped me. Oh, yeah, what did you major in? I don't remember. Oh, um urban planning Really? Oh, yeah That was your major back then You had the wherewithal back then to be like I want to get into some urban planning urban planning, dude Where are you gonna put that mailbox on son?

Really, you want to plant like help plan cities like infrastructure. Yeah. Is that what that is? Uh, it's more. I think it's like where do the medians go? You know, I think I know it Oh, sure If you have a male if a mailman needs to come into town, what route does he take to make the least amount of time? So it's effective. Okay power lines. Oh traffic patterns. Yeah shit like that grid patterns. Yeah. Yeah a lot of urban planning man Some are I guess I'm a I'm an urban planner, you know Did you why did that strike you as interesting? Like what why did you why'd you latch on to that?

I think I always used to walk around a lot of neighborhoods and stuff. So I think I was really kind of fascinated about that I liked people's yards um I liked looking at what it was like if people had a yard or didn't have a yard like what people's lives were like Like rich people have yards, you know, so they have like space between them and like people knowing what they're doing Sure. Sure. Poor people. It's just like fucking people. I'm so what you're doing You know what I'm saying like if your mom rears back to to hit you hard enough She's gonna fuck out a passing car is gonna hit her arm, you know

So it's like you can't hide it, you know So I don't know stuff like that kind of fascinated me fascinating me and I always like love the us postal system When I was young it's going downhill. Yeah, but when I was young what you major in finance Oh, really? Yeah, just because I didn't know what to do. Like I had no idea. I started college in 17 And they asked you to pick a major and I was literally like I want to make money Finance means money. Yeah, that's literally how I chose it. I was like finance has to do with money I want to make money. I'll do finance. I have a degree in finance Did you have was money like a big input through your parents like make money where your parents business owners?

No, my parents and my family had no money and I just was like I want to be successful It wasn't like I want to be like rich. I just was I just want to make sure I Make money, you know, I can support myself. Yeah, and that that was how how simple that decision was It was like a and I don't mean simple like easy to make. I mean simple like simpleton. Yeah, I was like, I want to make money So I'll check finance And then I did it like oh, I guess I'll pick finance because that has money in it. Yeah Yeah, that's hilarious and that's and I you know, I don't know why I took that. Yeah, I had no interest in it at all Wow, yeah, you ever see yourself going back in of interest. Do you ever?

Of course, you don't see yourself going back to dumbest question. I'm about to ask you Do I ever see you getting like one of those like kind of like little advisors? That's a guy old school accountant Yeah, I don't know man, I don't know why I did that It was a while besides the people besides the relationships I forged college for me was a complete waste Complete waste. I retained none of it. It was too. It was expensive. I got scholarship, too But did you were you a smart kid? What were you? Were you like a nerdy kid? Were you like an athletic kid? Were you just kind of like a neither? I was like I did

I'm half Italian. Are you? Yeah. Yeah. I have to tell you I have Cuban and Puerto Rican. Oh, wow Spanish, yeah Yeah, right. So no, I was good grammar school was like straight A's high school was pretty much like low A's But with not a lot of application That was good. You just you can you could do it and I just was like fun. Yeah, I wasn't like a super job I played hockey for in high school for a little bit, but I wasn't great. I played like my I was like signed up and I played You know basketball and baseball and grammar school was bad. Yeah, it wasn't good You know, I tell this story about me and my uh, so that our school got a basketball team for the first year

And I was in seventh grade and if you were in eighth grade you automatically were in varsity and then or something like that Everybody else had to try out So we tried out. I wasn't good, you know, but I tried out I was good in like my neighborhood, you know, right when people came in and had like skill sets You know, I mean, I wasn't good, right? And so everybody made varsity and everybody else who didn't make it automatically you wanted to play You could and that was jv and then the coach for jv We didn't have one and so my friend's mom volunteered and she volunteered and she just was like learning basketball with us

And then we used to have it was like it was literally like the like like the Like the molly crew of it could have been a cartoon It was like all those castaways on this team and we used to have these these these practices and she used to have a clipboard Like the dry erase clipboard and just be like go this way, you know, I gotta Our first game we played 14 games that year. We went on 14 Our first game Uh, I was like watch we're gonna play these kids that are definitely like these kids are all gonna be from like urban areas they're gonna be like sure enough every kid on a team was six foot and uh, we

And they like played basketball black basketball was life for them as opposed to us. They they beat us 44 nothing 44 nothing dude And then after you'd line up in the middle of the thing to kid hands and like then go get a snack upstairs We used to play at the catholic uber organization with the cyo. So it was a cyo league. So it was all the catholic schools, right? So we would say thank you But at the end of the first game it was traumatizing dude at the end of the first game the parents were so into it Uh-huh on their side. Yeah, right and they were screaming and yelling everything and then at the buzzer The parents started a chant

44 zip zip 44 zip 44 and they just came down off the stands It was screaming it and waving shit and while we were trying to shake hands They were getting our face like 44 zips it and then we had to go up the steps together to go to like the The like common area to have like our caprisons and we were going up the stairs and it was screaming It was bellowing in the hallways and they were screaming at us 44 zip zip and I was like damn man It was traumatizing. Damn now. We scored points in every other game But we never got shut out again, but we went on 14 the second game 56 to 3 we lost

I had the three points. You did. Yeah And then they still did the we still were part of the awards dinner at the end of the season We were part of the awards dinner at the end of the season Dude, what he is the worst part of it. I was the team's MVP. No, I swear to god I accepted the award I got up and I took the trophy in front of everyone you had to at the dinner you had to pay to be there I had 16 points on the season total

16 points that I was MVP praise god, right? But did it give you some confidence though? No really really really knock my confidence down Just game after game just 14 games of burying my confidence in the last game of the season. We didn't realize what we Something happened with the universe and we were like landing shots We were sinking shots and then at the buzzer we we huddled up and our coach goes Look up and we looked up and we were winning. It was like 14 13 or something And we went we just looked each other like well winning. We're fucking winning. We lost But it was like that was all like that was like our big moment like our rudy moment like at the hell look up Yeah, we had no idea we were winning, you know, like here's a question right here from a beautiful young fella right there. Thank you, brother

Hey, Sal. Hey, Theo big time fan of both. Yeah I just wanted to ask about Sal's like school life We never really heard much about his child life and I just want to know what was the worst thing you probably did in the school Damn school life Um, I wasn't bad in school. I was the class clown. Were you but respectfully? You know, I was like I I was a likable. I didn't like push It wasn't ever disrespectful right you and I would you wouldn't do anything mean the joke I was always there with the joke always there like to get the laugh no matter what I said

Which sounds stereotypical, but that's what it was like always when we had school functions on stage I would volunteer I do impressions of the teachers. Oh, yeah, like you know all that stuff I used to love the Jeffersons. Well, the Jeffersons is my favorite show. Oh, yeah of all time And so it was syndicated when I was little I used to watch it with my grandparents. I used to live with them So I love it. It just has a place in my heart. So I would memorize the Jeffersons Like I would get like a pad and it feverishly write down like the things they said the things they said And then I would then I would memorize that and I would Have an impression of I would do George Jefferson and word got out in the school

So people those used to ask me like third grade. They were like teacher We're like, all right, if everyone's good at the end Sal will get up and do the George Jefferson scenes So it's like that That was never disrespectful one time I got in trouble in high school We were sitting on the steps and this teacher she was a she was a nutcase, dude She was a Spanish teacher. Her name was miss de julio if she's out there and she's watching and we know that she is I'm sorry, but it's all gonna come out now We people know mr. Julio and you should yeah, and she was like I think she was a bipolar. Yeah

Uh, I didn't know then they didn't have it then but I understand now right without a doubt She was she'd be nice and then she she would flip out on you and uh, but we didn't know what it was So we just thought like Fuck this lady. Yeah. Oh, yeah, totally I mean, but then then you want to you want it to be nice because when she actually turned it was like You kind of got nervous because she she had this look So one time she was coming down the steps that was in between between classes And we would just mind her own business

I was sitting on the steps and she turned to one row of steps And she was on a land to come down the other and she just freaked and she went oh like get up and get out of my way I'm coming down the stairs. No, and it rubbed me the wrong way I was like 15. I just turned around and I said, okay. We're not really doing anything bad here So one of you asked us nicely first. Yeah, and she was like, what did you say? And I said ask us nicely and then she gave me Detention and she wrote it on there in quotes Told him to move out of the way on the steps. He responded quote-unquote ask me nicely Which honestly is that really attention worthy?

You screamed at me to get off the steps so rudely and all I was asked of was common decency And then she put me in the slammer You know, we had this lady beautiful lady and r.i.p. She did die her name Everybody you've spoken about on this podcast so far has died really everybody I think I think it's the fourth person You spoke about that has died dude. I think just the area we were in it just Breeded, you know people were gonna die Great to say that

All right, yeah, I don't know maybe I have something about death, but it's like this lady's name was um, what was her name bite? She was principal Short Italian Nancy Woods was her name and she was Italian 700 Italian, you know, she was swamp water Italian You know what I'm saying? She fucking yeah, you know She had bay leaves in her calzone, you know, she had just a little mix of things going on and she um She uh What were we talking about you Also a story tension the tension. Yeah. Yeah and getting in trouble asked me nicely. She moved. She had bipolar

Yeah, Spanish teacher. I wonder what miss woods did she must have done something. I was gonna tell you she died She did die. Uh, yeah, she died a couple years like a year ago. I think damn She was cool. Um, oh dude, we had uh We had this guy Mr. Coleman, he would sleep in the trunk of his car at lunch. He would go get in the fucking trunk Trunk of his car and fucking sleeping it like open. Yeah, open it up He just didn't mind much that no one saw him or anything It just was like some weird habit he had or something, you know, maybe something of growing up. He used to do or his family did

but uh We had another teacher mr. Lambert he and he passed we had alcoholism Um, but he I remember one time I was cheating on a test in his class and my cheat sheet fell on the floor And he walked by and he goes, excuse me. I believe you dropped this. He didn't even realize it's a cheat sheet That's amazing Pardon me. Yeah, pardon me. Wow. You dropped this buddy. Shit. He was cheating school. He was the sweetest guy. You all cheated Everyone cheated everybody did a lot of people cheated off me, but I also cheated too. Did you? Yeah Yeah, people would just be like when you had teachers that liked that they were like a loo for you

Just be like, what do you got? What do you have this? What do you got for that? It was sometimes you get if you got caught though Oh, man I remember one kid got caught Got pulled out of the room and uh, there was one point with this eighth grade teacher His name was miss Dawson She was also a gym teacher that became an eighth grade teacher And she was like a thick like short haired coke bottle glass like she was she was like the the the lesbian back then Oh, yeah, like she was and you didn't want to mess with her. She was intimidating like at all times

At all times and everyone everyone was in line with her I luckily she was gone by the time I got to eighth grade But she was doing a proctoring an exam and she caught someone and she took this kid james out of my our class Then he answered her back with him and she she grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the cinderblock wall like that Dude, no joke. Damn Yeah, man. The teachers used to get pretty graphic man. They used to get on point. They used to let them get buck a little more That's nuts. Yeah for our age my dad My dad in uh, like young young grammar school, whatever had a nun

Like tell him to put his hands out and wailed him on the hands with the ruler, right? So my grandmother gets a call says come down to the school. Your son is suspended. Oh And he she says what happened she gets down to the school. She goes your son has spent what happened? Well, the teacher he was misbehavior. So the teacher told him put his hands out and wailed him with the None a nun well them with the ruler. He took his metal lunchbox and slammed her in the face with it My father did that got kicked out and then my grandmother said she deserved every fucking bit of that Wow And she goes i'm taking him out of the school. You're not suspended. I'm taking him out. Damn

Yeah, can you imagine that's hitting a nun in the face with a metal lunchbox Oh god, but retaliation right, you know, oh, yeah, which like in this day and age if that happened in school right now The kid would not even be you can't in this day and age if that kid hit her back after she hit him like that The kid would be a hero. Yeah A hero the kill of your hero It's crazy how it's all set up now. Everything is like, um And it almost doesn't even matter what people do. It's just what is recorded and then shown. Yeah, that's the even crazier part Yeah, um

There were so many things different back then like we didn't know she had bipolar. We didn't know when kids in the class were Autistic like we didn't know anything. We was just like, oh, he's just weird You know, like he just he's just a little different or whatever like but we didn't have these terms You know, no, no, everybody was I remember I got and learning disabled for a little while You know, they they put me in there for like, um a little while when I was in third grade And back then dude, it was you know Everybody was in that bitch, you know, you could run too fast. You were in there Right, right, right. I'm saying people in a wheelchair

Autism people with no arms like it was just like this crazy bunch dude. You know Um, I got I got asked if I a couple of years ago. I had a bunch of people I got I got a bunch of messages like telling me about autism some asking like asking if I have it and In one I didn't know where I didn't know like why Like I just like I was like I just saw a bunch of messages at once that were about autism I didn't know why but um, I think like I think I it was right after I did an appearance On uh, uh, Regis, uh, not Regis Kelly ripper

And and at the time Chris Pratt was the we did it. We did press. Oh, I had a I went We were doing press and we went on the morning show with Kelly ripper. Chris Pratt was the guest. So, you know, Chris Pratt Yeah, you know him know I feel like you might have for some reason. I meant he invited me to be in a film that he did Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that was oh, yeah, that was yeah. Yeah, because I think we were gonna do the The cruise again And you had to do a movie was that oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right I want to get you back because you were so sweet on the first cruise. Oh, thanks

I had booked it up completely and you were like I'll just come on like I'll hang and everything and It was so sweet man And then I wanted and you know, I was trying to get it but yeah Anyway, he's on and he's in this movie the magnificent seven that remake of that western movie at the time It was just came out as a blockbuster. It was like an ensemble cast of a list Morgan Freeman's in it Oh, no, it was Denzel Denzel's in it, right? So The night before I had gotten really really really drunk Uh, I don't normally do that. But like I just I don't remember what the I was a wedding a wedding tonight. Oh, yeah

So I show up. I am hungover with the shakes Okay, and you have to get arrive at like 6 50 in the morning and for the morning show, right? So I get there and I'm trembling man I don't know what to do and I'm like, I can't go on. I said, can I please can you please find an office for me to Lay down in and they did because we weren't going to be on for an hour. They took me to someone's office I laid down on a couch in someone's office. Just shake it. So I'm watching the the the show on the tv in there. It's in the feed, right? And then like so so at the beginning they give away a prize

Are you ever watched Regis and Kathy Lee when he was little? Uh-oh, but I know about it So every day they take a phone Or they just take a phone call and someone in the audience and if the person in the audience answers correctly Like them and the phone person wins like a trip or like a something big every morning every day Oh, wow. So they're doing this trip, right? So they asked a lady a question and uh, it's easy But she gets it wrong, right? And then chris praccos. I don't worry. We'll give you the trip anyway It was a vacation and then it on air. He goes. Why what oh, I can't do that because it's like law It's gambling game show, right? So then he goes. Oh, I can't and on air. He's like, oh, I don't know what to do

And everyone's like, oh, and then he goes, uh I'll give you the trip. I'll just buy it. I'll give it to you and everyone's like, ah, it went nuts, right? And uh, it was like so nice and then Kelly's like, I won't do that to you like me and you we're gonna split the trip You're still going and the audience goes crazy, right? Then Denzel Washington comes out next and he's in the movie Magnificent Magnificent 7 with him and he comes out and The first thing he says was uh, he goes. I just I was watching on the feed. He goes, uh What happened? How much was the trip and chris praccos like 5700 he goes Three ways I'm gonna go three ways with you on the trip. So everyone goes nuts, right?

So I'm laying there. You know how you always need stories on these things. Yeah, they want you to have stories I'm laying there like half sick and I'm like, all right. I got an idea So I'm I have this thing I'm gonna do in my head and I'm like, I want to do something else These things never go with morning shows. They like rush you through. Yeah, never really get to really make jokes You know, so I was like fuck it So I had our assistant go to the store get a pack of Haynes t-shirts white Haynes undershirts and a marker And I wrote I in my own handwriting. I wrote Magnificent 7 on on the Haynes t-shirt and I put that on

Except for fun. I spelt it wrong. I wrote Magnificent savant So I was like, I'll just I'll go out there and I'll go out there and what I'll do is they'll immediately see my shirt and be like Oh, what is that? You know, and I'll be like, oh, I just thought that you and Denzel needed help promoting the movie Obviously, they don't need help, right? I'm like, yeah, so I just want to support and help you guys anyway I can't I know you need to help and then I thought they would pick on how I misspelled it and it would be a nice joke So I put on the shirt. So we're behind the thing. We're ready to go out there I'm wearing this Haynes t-shirt that has marker on it says Magnificent savant And they call us out and we go home people are cheering I'm waving right and we go to sit down

And right before we sit down the audience stops clapping I go I just want to let everybody here know just off the top. I'm not going four ways on the trip with the woman Right, I thought it would get a laugh But they took me seriously It just bombed and then Kelly goes no, no, it's okay. We're covering it. It's okay And I was like, well, that was a joke. You know, then I sat down to the interview and nobody mentioned the shirt, dude Nobody mentioned the shirt. So I And then after that, I just started getting autistic messages

because I just went Like I came out. I was like, I'm not paying I'm not paying for the for the trip And then I sat down and my shirt was handmade and misspelled and nobody mentioned then after that everyone was like, yo Like they just sending me links On autism People like, hey, can you come speak at our school? Oh, dude It's online too, it's online like you can pull it up

Damn, bro, that's bananas, man I'm trying to think if I had like a real good thing like that where I went on to a talk show You do you like talk shows? Do you when you do them? Because I always feel like they I do local news a lot Yeah, no, I'm good. I I just I'm good. I used to do I used to do local news a lot. So yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right from when you're going to town Yeah, but I never did I'm trying to think if I did I never did like any panels like A lot of comedians like once a lot of guys quit going like the tonight show and stuff like that I didn't really do that much of that type of thing. You know, um

They always just want you to I got one coming up. I'm doing I guess Seth Meyers and every time I go on I just feel like It just feels so canned. Yeah, because they asked you to they pre-interview, right? But Yeah, it's just a different experience. I'm sure Yeah, um But Seth's great, but is he yeah, he makes it easy. Yeah, that's cool. He's nice. Yeah Yeah, I'm trying to think of um, there was something I was gonna tell you about Oh, you guys have so with y'all show with impractical jokers. Can you just talk anything about it? You guys have, um

Joe is not going to be on the show anymore. Yeah. Wow for now. I guess right. Yeah Um, what did they ever did they try and think about bringing somebody else in? Well, they asked us what we wanted to do and we just thought about like a hundred different permutations for it and just Landed on the fact that we didn't want to replace him. Yeah, because that person would be Already shunned, you know, like he gets hard to replace it. So we just were like Let's just uh right now We're bringing in a guest each episode to just help out with the like the punishment, but it's like people that we know That were really psyched and interested to get on

You know, so we've had like Eric Andre method man. Uh, jillian bell Rob wriggle david cross Like all these like really cool guests, you know, um, and like we're booking, you know, just and this we just We finished season nine the last nine episodes that we started before the pandemic So those start airing in and uh, I don't know when this comes out, but Those start airing june 16. Okay, and then in two weeks We've been writing season 10 and in two weeks we start filming season 10 And we'll do uh for the first time I we shorten the episodes

And we're gonna do only do 18 because I want to kind of have six months on six months off to do comedy and stuff So we're doing 18 episodes. We've got 18 guests, but then check this out Uh, they're just in uh in the in the punishment. We do a cold open with them and a couple of interstitials So they're like threaded through the episode. So they're like anchored as the guests But in the middle bits when we need four we made it so that we can bring anybody we want at all Anyhow, so the idea at first was like, oh like we could bring anyone like from a comedian friend To our family to literally like the thing was we said the halal guy outside our office And we started doing that like I brought my barber on

You know, we brought like it just so because it's like just a mixed bag, you know So yeah, so we did that and it's been fun, you know, it's just a different energy and stuff, you know Yeah, so it's been good. So we start filming that in a couple weeks. Wow. Yeah, is it hard to stay motivated with it? As things get keep going that much is it hard to like Not that you don't care about it, but is it what have you learned about that? Has that been interesting? Yeah, I mean, you know the motivation's there, you know, because it's it's our reputation And the show's been on so long and you know, I'm never gonna I'm not gonna have half ass it, you know, yeah But um, we said we would do the show until we like stopped having fun, but it's just so much fun

Yeah, you know and and you know our crew is another 40 50 people that you don't see well We put them on a lot now we put our crew on but like so it's not just us us having fun Like there are we've been with these people some of them for 10 years So it's like this family, you know, so we still have fun, man And we you know the the pandemic made us have to rethink how we did everything So we did a whole season in a pandemic when we couldn't even go up to anybody So that was fun because we had to we're always trying to push and change and evolve it and stuff again So, you know, so it's it's always a little different each season

Like we don't just go back and do the same bits We did like when people describe the show they go these, you know These friends they put an earpiece now to do and say what they're told and if not you get punished That's the most simple way to explain the show it is and it is like a third of the show Yeah, and it was a lot of the show when we first started but in the first season or two, but really if you watch the show That is just one element of it. There's so much we create so many scenarios and games and situations and like that aren't even Behold into doing and saying what you told right, right? It's just like that's the easiest way to that's the elevator pitch, you know, like so but yeah

We so we we you know, we have fun like like figuring all those things out. Yeah. Yeah. Are you worried about not having Joe on there? You know, I was because he's just it's one of a kind He's one of a kind and he's the funniest dude in the world and and then like but it's like you have a recipe that's working And then you and if you remove a main ingredient So I we didn't know what to expect, you know, but you know because the nature of the show whereas like we we We are out there like we're always switching who we're doing it with So nothing felt foreign because I've been out there just me and him I've been out there with you just mean I've been out there alone Just me so in that respect it didn't feel like completely foreign

and then You know and then we were so focused on getting the new formula to work And then getting these energy from these people that came on as guests that like, you know that kind of like Filled like a little bit of like what would be and you know, it took like it's like when you get on stage You know, we got there, you know, we start to film and we're like, all right, let's see how this is gonna be like I don't know if it's gonna be, you know gloomy, of course we miss him, you know Yeah, but then, you know, you start laughing and you're like, oh shit. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I had fun today Right, and then you're like, all right. All right. We're still laughing. We're still having fun, you know

Um, no, that's the barometer. I think and that's always been the barometer. I think with you guys's group It seems like I mean, I remember the first time I ever hung out with you guys was at in Nashville At like the Wild West Comedy Fest this is years ago. Yeah, man, and I couldn't 2014 is when I met you I think yeah, I couldn't believe how much fun it was At the festival Yeah, and just being around you got like it was ridiculous and then Joe is so crazy And then afterwards they're like, he doesn't even drink. I'm like, oh, what? Yeah, I thought he was drinking his own blood He'll be on a bar with shirt off. He doesn't drink. He doesn't do drugs. He doesn't do anything

It just blew my mind as to how much fun could be had by a group. Um Yeah, I think that's what it's always been for a lot of people. Um, let me text my therapist real quick Yeah, babe, then I'm gonna be late and then what time you got to roll out at uh, probably I got at 12 30 But it's only like 15 away. So maybe like seven eight minutes. Yeah, okay, cool Zoom Yeah, it's been helpful to zoom. Yeah with therapy. Yeah, I used to have to go into the city to do it You did just do it on zoom. Yeah. Yeah, I think once I got comfortable enough with the therapist, you know I'm going twice a week right now and going to a lot of meetings. So good man. Yeah, I'm dude

This is like Even just being able to sit here and laugh with you. It's been like it's been so hard for over the past few years I could imagine bro. I don't know what happened. It just something happened and it wasn't you got a good support system around you Now I now it's working better, you know, I didn't really I think I was trying other things than like, um Maybe my recovery program to make me feel better and it wasn't hell, you know, I just wasn't working out So I'm trying to lean back into that. You look good, bro. Thanks, man. You do. I feel pretty healthy. You look good, man Thank you. I'm the worst shape of my life, but I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah, really? Yeah I got to turn it around that I got to turn it around. Why? Yeah, I because I need to okay, that's too much

I've been my my first special in january too. You are I'm gonna lose like 50 pounds. Yeah. Wow I mean, I haven't started yet, but right soon. It's around the corner But do you feel different being like why do you want to be like fit or what do you do? Do you have an idea? I don't want to feel like I feel now. Oh, you feel bad Well, I know but like I don't know. I'm you know, it's just it's just like anything right when you're like I'm I'm someone who's fluctuating and waiting my whole life. Oh up and down 50 every few years I go from like two to 50 onto two to 52 to 50. It's like the last 15 years So it's just like when I know when I hit 250, I got to get back down to two

Oh, okay, you know, and it's a journey there and I stay there for a while And I slowly go back up and back down. It's like one of those carnival games kind of yeah Everything with you kind of has like a little bit of a game But you look great, dude, and you know, I I know you probably know this and people say this is up But you know we go back a while you you know, you know me and my personal life too And I'm just like if you ever like you call me anytime man Yeah, thanks for anything anything just a vent to bounce shit off of whatever, you know I know that I'm not like I'm on the east coast but like dude, I you know, thank you. Yeah

Thanks, man. Yeah, I think sometimes I got in this negative place where I felt just like really isolated and I was isolating myself So it was like I was creating my own a lot of my own problems and you know, I just didn't realize it though Like um, but it's all you know, it's some of that's just life. It's like, you know, my life got super busy You know, it's like you don't know what happens when your life gets busy and when things change for you Like I remember one time we're at some party and you had tried to not have a manager for a while and you're like finally I have to have a man. I have to have help. Yeah. Yeah, you know, we didn't have to have one for years a couple years I remember and they're just like it was a tipping point You know, it's like I got we were holding out, you know, because you hear that

Agents will say, yeah, you don't need to manage imagine so you don't need an agent or even today people like fuck man You know, why are you giving all that away? A lot of our boys don't have managers. Yeah, I don't have one now Yeah, but and but I remember just you saying that. Oh, we have to get I got you a point You're like, I got to a point where I needed to get some help Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think like, you know with the tv and stuff you kind of need someone to fight those battles navigate that for you Yeah, if it was just like just solely just doing stand-up the way to everyone's diy these days and building their own audiences and stuff I think now like it's shifting what you would need but I'm with my team for so long now They're like family, you know, so yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, if you have television and stuff involved

I do think it gets different. Yeah, we had a couple questions that came in I wanted to get to one or two of them real quick from some listeners, man Do I love the podcast so much? What's up, Sal? I love impractical jokers. My name is Ezra easy r8 And basically I'm just asking you Sal Have you ever got swung on any impractical jokers? Sure people ask that a lot, huh? Yeah Um, yeah, I almost did look after 10 years not a lot because we're not really trying to we're not really trying to piss people off

we're more just trying to like Be mused be willed or confused like whatever just you know, it's more like that It's more on us But everyone's while you're going to come across a person that already is like that in their normal life And it's just looking for something. Yeah So we've all all of us have been a couple times each in situations One time I was at the car show at the Jacob Javits Center and I was working for fiat That was what I was doing and uh

They kept this guy and his girl walked up and they kept saying like just shadowed the girl like if she turns Like don't ever like stay behind her So she pivoted and I went behind her It was like the first second I did it and he literally pushed her out of the way grabbed me and put his fist back He said, what are you doing? What are you doing right now and her boyfriend? Yeah He's a big dude. He looked like he did like UFC and shit. Yeah, he like he was ripped And but he went from zero to he literally pushed her out of the way put his fist up In in in a half a second all I did and he's like go ahead. Go ahead. He goes. What are you doing?

What are you doing? And I was in like a suit jacket and tie. I was like showing the fiat. Yeah, and I looked at him I and he literally, you know, you know, you know, there's a difference between like go ahead, bro He was like you saw like the like he was like that and I just I didn't want to like Antagonize it anymore. You know I diffuse. Oh, yeah, so I just looked at him and he goes. What are you doing? What are you doing? I go? I'm just trying to get you guys into a fiat, you know And I just stayed the course and he's like, yeah, what are you don't don't fuck with me? He's like, don't you go ahead And I just I don't know what you mean, man. He goes. I'm just I'm just trying to show you guys this fiat Like just soft like that, you know, and then like they they took him away and then they you know

And then he didn't want to hear nothing But Murray got slapped in a face hard with a guy's cell phone like he went like that like popped him in the face But this guy was crazy though This guy we were filming at like an odd lot like an odd job store. Like, you know what that is. Oh, yeah They got different stuff in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like have like half of an autumn and you're like Yeah, like and truly and like cereal and like all that shit, right? Oh, yeah, they got like rescue milk. Yeah So this guy is Is on his phone and he's a big dude, man

He was like six five huge dude and Murray Is the guy's talking and they have bins and I guess the guy's standing and the bin in front of Murray has bras And like this bin might have no pads, you know, but so Murray I like as he's on the phone I would like Murray takes out the bra and he like he's like he puts it up against the guy to like just see and he's like I do you have my wife's size And then he puts out the guy and the guy just whipped him out and he goes

He goes, what are you fucking doing? And then the guy I guess was having a bad day And he just looked at Murray and started to go at him and then Murray ran and he started chasing Murray Oh charging at him screaming charging at him and swinging at him and Murray's running around the house and the guy's chasing me full public The restaurant's open the rest of the store is open and then he swung at him and he He cooked him right here, right? And then everyone was like, uh, right and then they asked him to leave and the guy went out and he goes I'm gonna he goes. I'm gonna come back here. He goes. I'm leaving. I'm gonna come back here. I'm gonna fucking kill everybody

We had to shut it down immediately because we didn't know if that was a true threat. Yeah, he was screaming I'm gonna come back here. I'm gonna kill you guys. I'm coming back and we're like, all right. Let's just let's just cut this out right now For the bras, huh? Yeah, but but but but that's really uncommon. Oh, yeah That dude I used to hide this is like It's not like your game show, but it's like I remember hiding at my buddy's house in his hamper and smelling his fucking mom's bra You know the kid man Oh, shit. Yeah, what are you gonna do kids? Would it smell like oh smell like fucking did it smell like like perfume or did it smell like hamper?

Yeah, it's not like perfume. I think it just smelled like a home, honey You know, it was like sir, you know looking for I wouldn't really looking exactly he didn't know you did that No, he still doesn't know. Yeah, and I wouldn't tell him if he were on his death bed or something like that I would tell him or he might be if he knows you That's fucking hilarious. Well, let's got one more question. Maybe that came through man. I got to go to therapy, dude Damn morning sale or good afternoon here. Good afternoon sale Um today's I've got a question and it's what's the poorest thing you've done for example mine was

Uh, I used to wash my car at the petrol station with the little um windscreen wiper Get around my whole car in the grease. That's a pretty good idea car wash So yeah, what's the poorest thing you ever done? Hey, babe I've done a lot of poor things. Yeah, I mean, I didn't come from any money. Yeah, but I was growing up I got to think about it like I I mean I did poor stuff one thing I did I don't know if it's the poorest thing I've done But one thing when I was older and I started working at a college. I was working at provincial securities And they had a cafeteria

And what I would do is and I someone told me this and I did it but I was I used to do it all the time But I was sweating every time I did it But what I would do is I would go get a large Dixie cup and cat for a fountain soda Okay, but then I would go to the chicken tender station And I would stuff the Dixie cup with like six seven chicken tenders Put it on put the straw and go and pay like a dollar 19 For the cup instead of seven dollars for the tenders Yeah, that was like when I was like a nine to five

Like I was like I had a desk and everything And I would go and steal those chicken fingers at like every other day, man And I was always when I got on the line to pay like I was always so nervous that they were gonna Like is it because it really is that's really a really a bad look Yeah caught with that, you know, you call yeah with a cup of chicken tender. You're like, I thought it was But it was like, you know, I'm trying to save money, man. Yeah, that's a good I was making no money You know, like my salary at this high school at a college was 28,000 a year. Wow. Yeah Yeah, you're cutting corners then man. I remember one time we had a um rental car

And we got an accident and got a dent in it, right? Yeah, and we tried to get uh We got like some we uh caught some bird right pigeons and got him a shit over the dent like over the dent So that it would uh hide the thing. Yeah in florida Yeah, I guess they should enough that like it's it might happen. Oh, you could make it look for sure I mean, we shit up half the whole like, you know, one quarter by what you just held a pigeon Yeah, oh, I can't hold foul. Really? No. Oh, wow. They tried to make me Commendee or a chicken on the show and it was Shit never ever that that's they're too wiry. They're too

They're too like, I don't know birds, you know, I don't mind them in the air, but yeah, I don't like handling them They put a hawk on my wrist once I shit myself. You couldn't handle it, huh? No Joe used to have a parrot that would attack me. Of course he did. Yeah wonder what that's about The parrot just the whole thing that you can't you don't like that foul on you. Well, no I would the hawk was the hawk is scary issue. Yeah, but uh, I don't know just a while I mean, maybe you can get something you can get used to but I that was the first time I was ever handling a chicken Oh, yeah, you know, you just you don't know like, you know, like, yeah, one chickens are very volatile. Yeah, you know, I think it's um They deserve to be an entree. That's what I think really

I think when I see some of the meats on entree listen, I'm like, ah this motherfucker don't deserve to make it up here in the top Five know why he got here. Yeah, my chicken of chickens in there. I'm like these bitches deserve it because they're they're pretty gangster, man Yeah, um, we had a turkey farmer on in the turk. Yeah, though. Once one of them dies. Oh freaking, you know, they'll go at that one It's very, um, you know, it's very, uh Like I don't know what that movie is called. Um Gangs of New York You know, they get very, uh, territorial. Yeah, they'll fucking second you're out. It's you're out. Wow, you know, they don't play Okay

Well, dude, we need to talk really about the crews that I came on with you. I'll talk about it next time anytime, dude I'd love to this was so much fun, dude. Thank you. I don't think I've ever done this with you. I don't think so Yeah, right on. I'm glad you dude. Thank you so much for coming on come on If you're ever in New York, come on. I got I do a podcast called. Hey, babe Oh, yeah, I know you know, yeah, and uh one called taste buds with Joe de Rosa. If you know Joe Oh, yeah, I know Joe too. We do a podcast little taste buds. We got the two Uh, come on either of any time taste buds. We're just arguing over foods. Really? It's fun It's just like we just literally get into real big arguments

Oh, wow over just like food and then me and Chris is just, you know, just bullshitting and stuff Yeah, yeah, man. I love him any time. We'd love to have you on dude. Yeah, especially now when I'm starting to feel a bit better I think it'll be easier for me to go do them, you know It's been hard for me to go be a guest just because also you when you got your own podcast It's hard. Oh hell, yeah, yeah, but especially New York was kind of closed. So I gotta get up there and see you guys Yeah, I never do this when I'm out here. There's this whole trip Uh, because I came I'm touring so I came through your own tour and uh, I was like, I'm gonna do all my friends Pot, you know, just do everybody's podcast. So they're never good to do it. So it's been a fun week, man

That's cool, man. Yeah. Well, thanks for making us one of them, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, of course, of course And the new season when does it come up? June 16th. It starts on Thursday nights and uh, I'm touring I have like 20 30 cities up right now and I'm adding all the time on my website savilcanocomedy.com Vegas is one that I just announced that I'm excited about to get going But yeah, there's tons of cities up there, man with doing phoenix and boulder and Vancouver, Seattle, Portland Evansville, Louisville Everywhere, nashville, just did nashville Minneapolis, Milwaukee. I mean, I'm it's loaded up. I've been loading up. Cool. Well, you guys can check it out and go check out

Sal in person, man. Um, any way you get salvolcano is a great way to get him and uh, and I'm grateful to have got spent time with you, man Thanks so much, dude. Yeah, love you buddy Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found I can feel it In my bones But it's gonna take A little time For me to set that parking brake and left myself on my

Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story It's shine on me And I will find a song. I will sing it just for you And now I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my past And these friends that I've been robbed know they want something that they're damn they're gonna