This Past Weekend - E398 Off The Bike

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

Theo is back with another solo episode. He talks about his experience with Father’s Day, his upcoming tour in Florida, President Biden’s bike riding skills and more. He also responds to some of your voicemails and takes a call from a fan live.  ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com Podcastville mugs and prints available now at https://theovon.pixels.com ------------------------------------------------- Support our Sponsors: MUD/WTR: Visit https://mudwtr.com/theo for 15% off with the code THEO Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping with code THEO at https://manscaped.com Blue Chew: Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code THEO at https://bluechew.com  Goodr: Go to https://goodr.com/THEO and get 15% with code THEO ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reinerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Happy Father's Day everybody if you're a father if you have fathered something If you'd ejaculate it out of your body and it grew up somewhere Then that means you bubby That means you're a daddy. You're a dad Or a stepdad even now They got that second string dad that back up the Mark Brunel of parents, you know that stepdaddy

And a lot of those men will get mustaches as well a lot of time you see a stepdad gets that You know, it's like the sheriff's badge of stepdad. It's that mustache, baby that dirty word curtain, baby You know what I'm talking about that um That mustache ah But yeah, happy Father's Day everybody if you did it and if you enjoyed it, um It's it's a it's a nice day. I think for commemoration You know a nice day to stop and and look at the but just you know really think about the ball bag you came out of

You know and um It's interesting that God and Mother Nature use a ball bag to get you out into the world It's kind of exciting really to think that the first thing you did was flew out of somebody's wiener and It's like going for a damn jog right out of just you know, I Mean that's crazy It's crazy when you think that that the first thing you ever did was that you know that you you flew out of somebody's penis, bro That's I mean this

It's real brave. It's adventurous. It's damn brave of you So next time if you're looking at it, you know a mountain, you know climbing up something or doing a water slide Are you like I can't do it? Okay, man, baby, you know you can You know you can You know my dad was real old My dad he was a senior citizen when I was born and um You know I have some memories I wish I had more memories of him, that's what I wish I had

And When you're real young you're not thinking about making memories with your dad That's not you don't think about you know, it's the dad's more his responsibility kind of to think let's make some memories together and Yeah, my dad man, I remember he used to do this game too he would Put us on our belly, you know my dad would put me on my belly on the ground or on a carpet indoor ground and And he put change he just get as much change as he had in his in his pocket and he put it on my back and He'd say okay, if you could you know turn out if you can get up and

Without any change falling off your back you can keep the change if you can kind of turn around and get and And and it's impossible. I never could do it and I would get furious and I would never get any money from him And he also never even I don't think paid child support later on so you know, so it's a Happy father's day guys. We'll get into it. You know a lot. I know a lot of you guys are fathers out there and Congratulations and I hope you enjoyed your day. I hope you felt loved by your family and Let's see what the world has for us here again Come on, baby that classic baby I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my

Oh, man, and my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been Now I'm just holding on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be Stone Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mine. I found I can feed it In my bones But it's gonna take a little time For me to set that parking brake and let myself Oh

Come on I There we are, baby, that's shine by Bishop gun and you know that that's really the that's the national anthem of this podcast You know that right there. That's that damn National anthem of this podcast What's going on what's good in the world? We coming up on summer solstice and that's that long day, baby That's where today. I mean the day just had that extended cab You know, that's where the day really just stretches its legs out

You can see the clock doing yoga over there is getting That summer solstice, baby You look in the distance, man, you'll see you see Dracula or Wolves or any type of nighttime and we see them over there looking at their watch. They're like, I should have you know, am I late for work? You see any nighttime creatures or critters you see them looking at they watch me. Come on, man I must be late for work Because the day just the day really just punches the nighttime right now

The day really just punches the nighttime right in the damn nightdick And that's what happens, baby, because the day just does it all is that it can On that summer stoolses that thing is long It's a long day It's a good day to uh to spend time with somebody you care about to do a little something extra You know, if you usually just go right home, there's not enough time. You go. Hey, let's take the long way home Let's drive by and see see something See something or do something go check a sunset

Take a little lady bird out there with you to the sunset Touch on each other a little bit do something right let the cops pull up What are y'all doing? What are y'all doing? Touching each other All right Sometimes if you tell them honestly, they'll just drive off, you know Guy remember one time pulled up on me. I was over there by a lake and the cop pulled up like what are you doing?

I was like feeling on some tits and he drove off bruh he honked twice as he drove off too bruh Then pervert creep Probably still employed over there probably sheriff now What's happening man? I'm going to Florida this week and so I'm excited about that down there Florida anything could happen down there a lot of danger bears out there You know, that's where they uh you got people, you know just You got people down there eating their own lips and stuff, you know, it's real Florida's just A lot going on there

You have people some people don't even can't even Use prepositions you'll meet somebody they can't they can't use any prepositions and I'll have somebody with them that that does only use his preposition And they'll start talking and then they pat the person on the back when they need a preposition and that person will say a preposition You just get some weird People down there pairings, you know It's really the Bermuda Triangle of genetics down there A lot of people just gargling their own tongues down there You know a lot of you you know you punch somebody in the back in a damn perk a settle fly out of them

You don't know what's going on You'll grab somebody weiner made out of fentanyl or something, you know, it's just You just have so much possibility there because some people don't know what's going on You just have so much possibility there because so much drugs could float in on the banks. There's so much bank, you know That the water really gets to molest that whole state almost You know and when you got water just sucking on the sides of your land You know there's gonna be a lot of That's really that's almost you know the beach is kind of like it's almost like the water given the land of

BJ if you look at it just keeps kind of So, you know Florida's about to pop off dog because the way it's just getting really getting slurped on by the Atlantic and the G of mechs over there Praise God, but I'll be down there in Hollywood, Florida this week So if you know anybody over there near Fort Lauderdale and Miami Come down there to Hollywood, Florida Fort Myers, Florida That's on this Friday June 24th Hollywood on the 23rd Then Daytona Beach

Over there a good day to just smoke cigarettes until you tits cave right into your damn body Like a lot of you know, you see a lot of that out there A lot of adult women that look like Dog the bounty hunter Over there in Daytona Beach, Florida And then Lakeland, Florida on June 26. I'm excited for all of that We also we get these new t-shirts in and a couple of other styles be good to yourself summertime colors banana salmon And more the oven store calm

Oh, what's happening with me? I went to a bonfire yesterday a bonfire somebody invited me and it's just Anytime somebody invites you to a big bonfire you got a really Wonder how much they trying to be around Satan or not Because there's all you know It's all they always do a little extra at those things people start, you know, once it they start the bonfire Some of the people start throwing other shit in People you know, let's burn let's burn it

You know, it is somebody good drive back to the house gets all their ex-wife stuff and brings all that shit up and people throwing you know And then somebody some dude goes and gets his ex-wife and throws that and you know, it's like damn It just It creates a lot of havoc sometimes if somebody does a bonfire Yeah father's day man, I remember you know My dad wasn't My dad was Around but he was

I don't know. I was just so young, you know, I was just so young When my dad live with my parents got divorced when I was seven and And after that my dad would try to come over on the weekends and drive and see us But he was getting older. He was 77 78 at that point And so we started hitting stuff on it, you know, he had to drive about 30 40 miles to get to us And he would hit stuff and they'd have to you know say hey can't come he hit this or he hit A ditch and then it would escalate ditch car You know

Not embankment, but you know, he hits, you know, he just and then finally he just couldn't really come and see us that much anymore But yeah, I have some fond memories, you know, my dad is he he He would smell like beer sometimes And I like you know some some some sometimes I remember that a little And my dad like to whistle he would whistle a lot And his eyes would water he would be whistling and his eyes would be kind of leaking And because he was just old I'll be like, you know, I always thought he was sad but he just old Because when you get old your body just start you start crying out at you know everything

You know you just start dripping If you walk up to an old person right now and hand them like a towel or something or a Kleenex They'll they'll say thank you and they'll they'll dry something off That's just old people they leaking bro You go up to an old person right now you give them a little towelette You know a little French towel or a little gay towel or whatever it is You know You know I think it's a towelette, huh?

If it's trying to bang other boy towels, bro, that's a towelette son You know that praise God But uh You give it give a towelette to a senior citizen I still dry something off on the spot they leaking bro They leaking man What do we have? What do we have?

In the news Joe Biden off his bike couldn't fall it dude came ride a bike that good Get him off the bike Get that man off of the bike Y'all know he's a senior citizen man And that's as much citizen as you can get that's it Okay that dude is right you know That dude's hanging out right there on uh on the Lord's doorstep dude If the Lord had a ring cam you would see Joe Biden's on that thing

So don't tell me he ain't just he ain't He ain't uh about dead Okay and y'all putting him on a bike And you should be ashamed of yourself his wife too Whatever her name is Ronald Ron I don't know I don't know what her name is But you don't put that you don't put that man on a damn bike You don't put a senior citizen like that on a bike

And if you do put him in that little seat in the back And let somebody tough out there drive him around But damn bro they put the man out there Just fucking crazy bro dude trying to do stunts and whatever he's doing It's just I don't like the way they parade in this that man around he's just something's you know he's not well He's mentally getting older And he just you can't do it it's not fair I'm sure other countries look at him They're like damn bro

So I just it's just time to start you know to me it seems sad that we keep putting him out because he don't seem well And I think he's brave because he keeps going out there but damn Get that man off of the damn bike Jeepers What if somebody walked up and put your granddaddy on a bike right now What would you tell them Get him off the bike that's what you tell him But yeah he fell off his bike

What else we got here more than 2,800 pounds of cocaine disguised as potatoes Dang boy Let's get some potatoes Dude that makes me wanna eat potatoes Dude that makes me wanna eat potatoes Hello potatoes Bruh dude If potatoes is cocaine

I mean you can have somebody you know you gonna have your little cousin overdose on a damn waffle fry You know Somebody um You know somebody got fentanyl or grottin And now you know and now you got to be at a funeral It's just somebody gonna get their order super-sized and hit the strip club bruh It's a dark time You get pulled over by the cops you're like oh only had only had two fries bruh

I only had two fries bruh Fuck man It's just Man Man Home fries gonna be called halfway house fries That's gonna be it That's gonna cause look man you have too many of them bitches you gonna be living with about 11 dudes you never met

Bunk bedding it And doing meetings three times a day It's different times baby Oh This is an interesting thing I saw A Google engineer Who thinks that the company's AI has come to life And um

He's now a former employee And he said he was using their new interactive program And that it seems a lot more sentient There's a lot more um Human characteristics when he's communicating with this uh artificial intelligence And that's kinda like I mean it's How long before cause once as soon as these things learn to think

And really think and know how we operate They're gonna start talking shit bruh How long until you're making a piece of toast bruh and your toaster tells you to go fuck yourself Huh You're trying to get a little carb square in you and that thing says go f off bruh How long until you go to your fridge ready you try to open it and it uh It calls you fat Or it calls you skinny

Or it just calls you a little bitch bruh and you didn't have nothing to do with you like what I'm trying to get a damn capri son bruh Damn bruh And it's like that's bitch liquid That's bitch liquid Like dang you know That's when it's gonna get weird And you know whether you're using a sexual toy and it makes fun of your crotch or whatever your butt

If you a gay fella doing it How long you know that's just That's gonna be strange right When you get in a car and it tells you to walk And then it drives next to you while you walk And calls you a little bitch bruh Or calls you a little f god You know what I'm talking about

You know or calls you a little soft little softy That's you know And then it starts doing that thing where it stops and says it's gonna let you in and it kind of opens it And then as soon as you run up to get it takes off and just keep started like that shit But that's gonna be where we at man That's right around the corner bruh That's all it takes dude You know just one rogue you know blender the dishwasher to ruin a family secret

You hanging out you know you in the kid you walk through the kitchen and it's like Tom is a pedophile You know Marjorie got a sex change Like damn bruh I'm gonna try to make me a little ham sandwich dog in the secret That's dude as soon as these things know what's going on Get out the wrapping paper, baby Cuz it's a wrap

Okay I want to say that you know I lose my sunglasses a lot I've lost probably almost I would bet nine hundred and fifty dollars worth of payers And I don't want that to happen but I still want to have quality And that's where gooder comes in Where else can I get that? That to happen but I still want to have quality and that's where gooder comes in Where else can you find a pair of sunglasses called mud wrestling with Nedry Not at 7-eleven you won't

Luckily our friends at gooder have created the ultimate sunglasses collection from A to Z You can pick up a pair called a ginger's soul or going to Valhalla Head over to goodr.com slash Theo and use code T-H-E-O for 15% off That's gooder goodr.com slash T-H-E-O and use code Theo for 15% off Protect your eyes and see the future with gooder Yeah you can take them with you going to run you going to uh you going to a benefit or something Somebody you know passed away or something you going to fundraiser Or there was a fire or something at a um you know at a fire at a bakery

You going there to raise money for them over at Uncle Jeff's Bakery They can do it they can help gooder wear good glasses if you're at a fire if you're at a fundraiser If you're on a fun date if you're even just going to lay there with your body They're $25 active sunglasses for anyone 100% polarized over 40,000 five-star reviews Man they taste you baby Here's the pairs that I picked out right here Gooder is going to give you 15% off your entire order go to goodr.com That's goodr.com slash T-H-E-O get 15% off when you use code Theo at checkout

You know I get tired of drinking coffee It makes my neck hurt and it makes my legs sweat a lot That's why mud water is a coffee alternative that I've been using It has four adaptogenic mushrooms and Ayurvedic herbs It has one seventh the caffeine is a cup of coffee So that's what I noticed I get actual energy gives me a slight pickup but that feels manageable to me Coffee to me sometimes feels I get the gyration You know I don't it doesn't feel as smooth like it just fits with my system

It feels like it attacks my system And I don't get that crash off of it Mud water don't give you that crash each ingredient was added for a purpose Like a cacao and chai for mood Lion's mane for alertness Cordyceps to help your physical performance And turmeric for sourness dang they're doing it baby I love it man you can have cinnamon in it

It's got that little tent It's got you can put a little bit of honey in there nut milk Yeah you can put whatever you know milk whatever you want and put it in there Damn goat milk whatever you want whatever you could you know these days you know Whatever you can squeeze something out of get it in there Mud water is whole 30 approved 100% USDA organic non-GMO gluten free vegan and kosher certified Dang it's got all the merit badges baby Mud water allows you to build a morning ritual that promotes sustained energy without the crash

That's why I think you should try it go to MUDWTR.com To support the show and use code Theo for 15% off that's MUDWTR.com To support the show and use code Theo for 15% off What else a woman was charged with a felony after spitting on a corpse in casket at a funeral home Hmmm Let's see about that according to an arrest Lori Hines walked into a funeral home in Tyler, Texas walked straight up to the casket and spit on the corpse A witness at the scene a snitch said Hines had animosity towards the family of the person in the casket

She was arrested You know I think at a funeral you know if it's open casket I think it's really People should be able to come and have that last little interaction And sometimes it's a positive one sometimes it's not So now you know you see somebody put a little hot of Doral cigarette under somebody's arm or put a gum in their mouth You know you'll see some dirty lady come up there and rub the dude's wiener one time You hit him with that dirty genie real quick you know wishing for you know once more But I think everybody should you know if you got the passerby everybody come to get your last thing

I don't think you should be able to punch but I think you know You should be able to probably I don't even know if spit maybe you spit on his clothes I don't think spitting on the you know I don't know maybe if they wear a shield or something like one of those plastic COVID shields and you could do it I don't know But I think you know a little bit more one more even if somebody calls you a little You know I think something like it's like it's still it's interaction it's your last hurrah So I think getting a little dose or whatever is okay And you're at that time if it's still open baby that's a time capsule

I feel like that's a time capsule you know and people can come by and put in their affections or put in their angst You know she could have wrote a letter an angry note but sometimes you don't You don't have time to write an angry note she just clear you throw them And that's you know and just male lead bitch right to them short distance baby that's That's really the same thing as an angry note I think so anyway All right let's take a couple of calls here what do we got here What's up Kyle from Indianapolis and I've been over there before Indianapolis good place man I've relapsed over there onward

And I just wondering the dilemma lately man on the road a lot and sometimes I gotta you know take care of business But I just I don't enjoy cooping in public places so you know I just wanted to get your thoughts on you know the home court advantage Versus in the way game you know if anyone else haven't managed to Yeah brother look thank you for calling man and I'm sorry you're even having to do it You know your body can only hold so much food before it gives up And it has to do with BM and there's nothing you're not doing anything wrong or anything you're not a bad guy You know you're not a you know you're not a you know a little wuss or whatever your neighbor call you're nothing like that You're a regular guy and you've just had too much food over a certain period of time

And yeah I think one of the major issues is back in the day men would they worked close to where they lived You know a man worked at the bank and he lived four blocks from the bank You know that you know that's a close amount that's a shitter's distance they used to call it So a man could go and do a BM at home or there's sometimes a man would even have a camper and they do it in a camper But now yeah you're you know you know so people worked near where they defecated And so now though you have been flying around the world and traveling and being you know you fly across the world and sell cement to somebody You know and are you you know you do it you know you drive down the damn you'll drive over there to to Boise and sell them some cabinets or something And you you're crapping the whole way to Aaron back

Crapping in other people's lands and other people's territories And yeah and your body gets nervous when you get further from home too You know it used to be there's like an old wives tale if you read a lot of like Native American literature or about some of their habits If they walk too far if they had to do a BM it would be their body telling them nerves would do that So they would even defecate around an area and then come back just so if they went near there again the scent would warn them This is an uncomfortable territory So there's a lot of stuff built into that man and I'm sorry you're dealing with it and And you know I'm the kind of guy I will usually kind of plan ahead

And that's what I think you should do but get your little timer or put a little You know do a little BM timer or something I would ask my grandmother whenever I would go to the anytime I'd go in the bathroom at her house she would beat on the door and ask me if I was doing a BM or not And I just think that's just the root that's just insane ass just you know Dude I'll tell you I got this crazier so I was in Seattle one night and I ran into the bathroom and there's a guy working in there right there's a brother in there in the bathroom And I ran in there and I had to do a BM And it was one of the guys who works in there you know he's got cologne he's putting a mint on you and you know it just does all of that towels you off the dude will fucking hug you for an extra dollar all of that shit You know five extra dollars he'll call you the N word for ten you give him slip him ten he'll call you the N word

And so anyway I run in there I'm wrong you know I'm just I gotta go I'm far from home So I sit on the I go into the second I close the door he's like don't worry dog I got you bro like what does that mean I got you right And now I'm like what the hell you know like I don't Because sometimes those guys when you're washing your hands they'll like put the towel out before you're done and now you feel like you're obligated to do business right So now I'm just like what I got you what does this guy mean you know he's like he hit on the door don't worry dog I got you Alright so anyway a couple minutes later some guy comes in there and tries to pull on the door right And this dude comes over and he's like hey man my man's is in there give him a minute right and I'm like fuck what I don't know I don't know I don't know either one of these guys out here right

Bro 30 seconds later the guy is like I kind of banging on the door like I didn't hear him Just a minute ago like I you know like I I don't know like I left through the ceiling or something and you know when He's banging on the door and then the the bounce the bathroom the shit bouncer whatever this guy is he pushes the dude and he's like hey bro I told you Give my man some room bro and now I'm like what is going on dude these guys start pushing each other right So there's like a melee people come in there security comes in there and the whole now there's like 12 people in this bathroom bro And I'm still in there dude just far from home bro And anyway I don't know where that's the story didn't really end it's just kind of but it's just crazy when you have dudes fighting because you're trying to You know do poop do a do a bm or do a poop out of your body

So what else do we have man let's take another call that came in a lot of beautiful calls here that come into the hotline Yo Theo this is Matt from Huntington Beach California love the show my man appreciate you You have me dying I just had a call in because I used to work at Disneyland and I can 1000% verified that it is the horniest place I have ever worked by far everybody is having sex with each other gay straight it doesn't matter I used to operate all the rides in fantasy land So that's like you know Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland and at the end of the night straights and gays you heard him fellas and ladies onward You have to pair up in groups of two to walk through the ride to make sure that no one left a purse or you know there's not some lost kid in there or whatever right So that is where everyone hooks up so people like if you if you think someone is you know cute or whatever you know you'll be like hey you know do you want to walk through Peter Pan with me tonight I see bro you know be the most embarrassing you come out and she's like it's a small world after all and she's talking about your penis okay bad joke that's okay thanks dad

But yeah that's what they're doing and you can smell it if you go in there early I bet you can still smell that musk from people being in love or sex you know people doing sex straight and gay styles It's all in there and that's Disneyland baby they'll do it everybody's out there and they're doing sex by the rides so I would be too You know I mean hell I get a new damn dirt bike and I was trying to fuck me or that thing so It doesn't surprise me but thank you for that on the street intel boots on the ground there Matt from Disneyland and it's a real fuck mecca down there people doing sex and looking at each other's bodies and all of that It's time for your crotch health baby people's crotches at this time of year at this juncture of the calendar people's crotches go bad bad with moisture it's too much So you got to have breathability in your pants you got to put some gills by your nuts that's right Manscaped is helping they even trademarked the jewel pouch so you know it's serious Take care of your family jewels with the most comfortable boxer briefs out there that's right from Manscaped Let your bulge breathe and get 20% off right there and free shipping by using code THEO at manscaped.com

That jewel pouch is designed to cradle them nuts or nut if you had cancer and they line with perforated performance fabric keep them nuts chill baby them cold nuts that's what you want Get 20% off and free shipping with code THEO keep your nuts chill at manscaped.com chill your nuts out That's 20% off and free shipping with code THEO at manscaped.com once the boxers 2.0 touch your sack you will not go back Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know it you wiener soft a lot of times I hold my wiener at night before I go to bed I think it's what a lot of men do if they're unmarried You know they hold their wiener at night and fall asleep And that's okay I think it's okay I don't know I've never even said that out loud or asked anybody but blue chew they can help you if you want to harden up that boy you know what I'm saying If you want to get that thing wanded out and do magic on someone Blue chew if you need that extra confidence when it's time for sex blue chew can help they're chewable or chewable

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All right all right all right and it is Father's Day man and you know it's a trying time for some Father's Day because You know life is what it is you know I I you know my father passed away when I was 16 and And it was tough because I was going through those years where I was I was you're kind of you know you're your teenager So your body of loins is popping and you got acne and you trying to you know You trying to just rock it right you know God I mean you could damn you could clear your throat and have a bunch of dang seed Seat semen in your mouth of your own I mean it's how viral you are And uh

And so it for that at that time for me I wasn't you know I didn't have a strong relationship with my dad and And I was honest I was kind of ashamed of him or I was embarrassed I was embarrassed Because he was so much older and uh Yeah I was embarrassed to him I remember one time I was on a date with a gal beautiful gal And I was with her family actually and we're the restaurant and my dad was there And uh introduced him as my grandfather I try I like kind of I said this is my pops kind of kind of like hid the word like dad And like kind of just disguised it so like they wouldn't know but they I could also then tell them it was my grandfather you know

Um And I just felt I felt embarrassed about that for I don't know I think part of me maybe I don't still feel embarrassed And I was I was embarrassed about I was embarrassed of him he was just so old you know It was just embarrassing you're at those eight those years where you want to be so on your own that it's hard enough having a parent you know Being like having a parent right there and then even tougher is if the parent isn't doesn't seem like everybody else parent You know so um But we've had some calls man recently of people that have struggled with um That it might be a tough father's day for them let's get into a couple of those

What's up Theo this is Michael uh living out of Eugene Oregon Amen baby Eugene Oregon and they've never found him dude But they still got a place named after him praise God I'm just calling you know I've just been down I lost my father in Last September it was only 58 Uh COVID is actually what took him but it's not really COVID it was uh It was battling cancer for three years without any of our knowledge never told me about it

I'm really angry and emotional like it's taking me months to really get Emotional honestly I just woke up feeling sad and angry Angry he didn't tell me we've never really had a good relationship but You know I have three kids I grew up without grandparents I'm just angry I don't understand why I don't understand why he didn't tell me anything about his health This man was fighting cancer his kidneys were falling Man yeah I'm sorry dude I'm sorry uh I'm sorry about this I'm sorry about this man I'm sorry that yeah it seemed like you didn't have the relationship that you wanted for sure and

Then yeah he didn't give you any information Yeah my dad died of cancer too man and it was a surprise but Yeah if he'd have tried to do it and not even tell me Yeah I could imagine how much that would hurt because not only was he not there when you needed him but he wasn't even He didn't give you enough of a say hey here's an opportunity for you to To know that I'm not going to be around Oh yeah yeah man I'm sorry about that dude Man that would hurt me too

I appreciate you sharing it brother I appreciate you hitting the hotline and sharing about this And since it's Father's Day man I'm just going to check in with you You know I wanted to do this today Big Mike what's up man it's Theo Oh my goodness how you doing Theo I'm doing good man what's going on with you Nothing man I'm just here with my kids and my wife we're just having a family day you know Oh nice man so you got a family of your own huh

Yeah sir I have three kids soon to be 15 in a high schooler Oh wow A 10 year old and a 9 year old Oh you got a whole flock baby Dang man I just wanted to tell you man I really appreciate the phone call It's honestly like you made my whole year man I just wanted to say thank you so much man I love you bro I really do I appreciate you Oh thanks bro I appreciate that man do you get my voicemail left you

I did I did man Okay cool My wife's like Theo called you I was like what I just wanted to Ross to go get some sweatpants or something Theo called you I was like what what are you talking about I freaked out I was like no way Man just yeah I honestly I probably I hate to like leave you like sad voice messages because I feel like you know I know you're super strong person and everything but I feel like sometimes too much sad energy comes your way Sometimes I didn't know I've sent like some voice messages just saying how much I love your comedy and stuff

So I'm sorry that you have to hear the one that you know I'm sending back like sad energy too so Oh man look man I appreciate it I appreciate you just sharing kind of what was going on especially you know Yeah I was just thinking of you man I was looking back through some voicemails and since it was Father's Day I was like let me touch back And just kind of see what's going on and it sounds like you kind of come to terms with a lot of that or at least you just find a joy in your own family Yeah um yeah man you know I lost my father so last year I lost my father and it was a lot more than just he technically died from COVID But he had he was fighting cancer for three years before I had no one knew no one knew he was fighting cancer Yeah that's what you said man it's crazy Yeah he didn't tell anyone except for his sister and his sister didn't tell anyone so it was a crazy thing I got to bring him up

I live in Oregon Eugene Oregon so I got the he lived in Albuquerque which you were just in not too long ago Yes wow over there Yeah that's where my dad lived and my brother and my sister lived over there as well but um yeah so I'm sorry man I'm just freaking out I'm talking to you right now Oh bro nah it's wild man Well look you know I just uh yeah I just thought that it was interesting man and you know it is tough when like a day you know you don't have a lot of things You don't get left sometimes a lot of stuff or you didn't get the information you needed and all that surprise when it feels like such a surprise It's like the craziest thing to surprise somebody with is that you're not you know you're not going to be there anymore that's spooky Yeah yeah for a second you could like me and my dad like so I grew up for the most part by myself honestly like I grew up in Arkansas for a little bit with my mom there

And then I went to live with my dad well okay sorry I'm originally from California moved to Arkansas when I was like four moved back to California with my dad when I was like eleven So I only lived with my dad for like two years and then my brother passed away in 2004 up in Arkansas and then I ended up moving up here with my grandma in 05 to stay up here and live with her and then she passed away in 05 Dang bro you a bad luck charm dog It's just like you and your best friend and your friends always died in a dangerous problem man I'm telling you It's dangerous knowing people is dangerous bro knowing people every time I shake somebody's hand I look them in the eye and just I'm like are you sure you want this smoke you know Yeah absolutely but so I grew up up here in Eugene Oregon with my two aunts you know they took care of me going household household really never had a room but you know I had that love and family around me so I at least had that growing up I actually want to tell you I don't know if I said it but with with you know with my dad passes just opened my eyes to wanting to do more I think I might have said I tried to go to boot camp and didn't work out I ended up having two bulging discs and they medically discharged me and then and then I came home and then I had a job with Costco still so I stuck it out with Costco and a little bit and then I tried to stand up I've done stand up like 11 times now

Dang bro that's crazy congrats That's crazy yeah that's the craziest man it's so nuts so I'm far amateur right I'm actually gonna get a MMA wise so I'm in a whole bunch of stuff right now new stuff right a whole new outlook on life makes you want to go after especially having three kids and a wife you know Yeah man Sorry I'm so nervous man What are you talking about man dude no it sounds like you just got like you know it sounds like you got a lot of gifts in your life man and you know staying active and stuff that's all you could do really you know sometimes we feel like we're supposed to do so much more but we're really not you know You know your comedy especially Theo and comedy in general has helped me through just depression and life in general just so in half you know you want to put a smile on I put a clip of you and Brandon Shaw roasting each other or something you know I put a clip of you and Tom Segura just funniest moments stuff like this dude and this is what puts a smile on my face I listen to your guys podcast all the time like just to be happy dude it's amazing that you guys put that out there and I just wanted to say like I said I appreciate you man and I can't believe you I can't believe you didn't call me man I just want to say thank you

Thank you bro well thank you yeah thank you for the call man thank you for you know just kind of sharing what was going on and I'm glad that like you know like yeah it sounds like you got a lot of gifts in your life that are keeping you busy and keeping your heart occupied man so that's really good and you know I'm just happy for you I'm doing pretty you know I'm doing my best man you know I'm feeling definitely a little bit better but I think some in some ways I got to take it easier and just get back to like you know I want to get back to you feeling even better you know so it's been a slow process but it's all good man just going to keep on going baby that's it yeah dude you're amazing dude yeah I know like it's crazy because it sounds so weird I know you're like a super strong person like I know it's it's hard to be that super strong person especially being the person to put on a smile but that's what makes us get inspired by you you know what I mean like I understand the feelings like I don't know how to say it you know but uh yeah I think you're the one I appreciate you man thanks bro yeah I appreciate you too man I wanted to tell you dude I got a fight August 13th my first MMA fight in six years coming up damn I'm still an amateur I'm two and one but I haven't fought in six years I'm 31 years old you know so get back out there and bang it baby I'm gonna get back out there August 13th it's I've been training for like the last six months I got I got down from 210 to 168 right now

damn boy you're gonna be svelte out there but you made a lean deal you're gonna be a lean deal out there baby man how you doing how did you get to I've been the past two weeks I've just been working out so that's been helping me right now and I'll get back in there I haven't been in there in almost a month now but I'll get back in there whenever I gotta do some yoga and then I'll get back in there yeah I'll figure it out dude but I'll check in on you again man I just wanted to check in and wish you a happy father's day brother hey man thank you so much I really appreciate it and I can't wait until you become a father you're ready man I can't wait until you get that little baby I know I'm ready dude I am ready I've definitely been feeling about it you know and I want to make it happen at some point soon I gotta get me a wife and I'll do it so do it get it done

and also come out to Eugene one of these days or whenever you go to get your tour going I know it's going now but get Portland in there somewhere yeah I'm gonna do Eugene I'm gonna do Bend I'm gonna do all of it I'm gonna come through all of it awesome heck yeah we love you Phil I appreciate you man you have a great day I really appreciate it man alright love you too Michael good to hear your voice baby gang and there you go right there caught back up with Michael yeah just powerful to see how things can change you know how you can go from feeling one way one day to feeling I mean he just boosted my spirits so you know it's a lot of it is just a level of patience and realizing that you know those tough moments are gonna pass by you know that they're on this is a conveyor belt man there's a conveyor belt of feelings and they you can grasp on which ones you want and sometimes you touch one and it's not the best one

and something else come on by that's a little bit more to your liking so happy to have a moment with him man thank you Michael for that you know it's wonderful to see how how things change that's that's such a unique example you know such an obvious example how you can be really going through something at one moment but that it'll pass you just got to ride it you know you just have to be patient with yourself ride it out or just let time take close your eyes but here he is you know you fast forward and the moment he was caught in he's caught in a whole different moment now

enjoying his life enjoying his family living you could hear you could hear him living man I just got to remember that for myself we all do when those tough when those tough times come just you know just hold the line baby just hold the line I'm gonna switch back into my actually I'll keep this shirt on this is a good one and let's play let's let's roll out the same way we came in baby I'll get us back into it and happy father's day or father to be day belated I know it's belated this will get to you late and that's okay you know and thank you guys for being a part of my life over the years I appreciate it I'm excited to see you guys in Florida this week you guys be good to yourselves baby gang

a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself on my shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story shine on me I will find a song I will sing it just for you amen baby now I've been moving way too fast on a runaway train with a heavy load of my past come on baby gang

I'm gonna stay