This Past Weekend - E425 Louis C.K.

Starting point is 00:00:00 Alright, we got some new merch to tell you about we got the vintage rat tea the hunting club hoodies and hats if you like to get out There with that gunpowder as well as some new colors in the bgt y be good to yourself collection Get that and more at the ovan store.com and thanks for repping New tour dates to announce I will be in Las Vegas on June 30th and July 2nd at the Encore theater Get pre-sale tickets with code rat King starting Wednesday, January 11th at 10 a.m. Pacific time General on sale starts Friday, January 13th at 10 a.m. Pacific time We're also adding a sixth show in Austin on June 8th and a fourth show in Houston on March 23rd

Starting point is 00:00:49 We also have a few tickets left in Louisville Indianapolis Shreveport Baton Rouge Boston Medford Corpus Triste and Phoenix and New York City get tickets at the ovan comm slash to you are That's tour Today's guest is a rare. He's a rare. He's a One of a kind and he is people say that all the time about people but there I This he is That he's a comedian. He's a filmmaker. He has a new special streaming on January 28th

Starting point is 00:01:27 Live from Madison Square Garden. You'll be able to watch the live stream of it. We'll put that information below He's I saw him I saw him perform last night. It was unreal. Happy to have him here today. Mr. Louis C.K. I Sweat more when it's cold weirdly. Yeah, yeah, I get a clammy If I'm warm up, I'm I sweat less like at night. Yeah We used to have a buddy sitting about sweating, but it made me think about reptiles that uh, I Used to work on this farm and we had a dude after it would rain He would go lay on the concrete up there

Starting point is 00:02:29 We take his shirt off and go lay on the concrete like really like a reptile kind of guy because he felt good It's he cools off. That's like what dogs do they sit on the hearth, you know, oh really? Yeah, you know, they sit somewhere. They find cool spot on the floor. Yeah Yeah, I think it just felt good on his skin after it would rain. He would take his shirt off his dude named Lance and He was really in touch with what made him feel good. That's a good thing. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, people won't do that But yeah, like I know that feels good. So I'm gonna do it. Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, it is kind of nice I think there's probably more stuff people would do in public if they

Starting point is 00:03:07 Were less probably like inhibited or whatever about it. Oh, definitely. I was like I was in a Move this a little closer on you. Yeah, sure. I was in I Think you know those places that are like It's like a chain restaurant, but it's a little bit. You know what I mean a little better Yeah, like uh, like it like like BJ's. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah I forget what it was, but it was daytime and it was really dead in there in some I don't know Akron, Ohio or some horrible place and And some big lady came in, you know, yeah off the street and you could tell they were like, okay

Starting point is 00:03:46 Like they they have something where they just like just let her come in. You know what I mean, right? Let her come in Let her smell everything. Yeah, maybe they she's got stopped at the door one day and I got Like okay, you see they went to the manager. He's like, it's okay. It's okay It wasn't enough customers in there. She came in and she just starts walking through the restaurant And she takes the creamers, you know, the those metal tin creamers that are on the kind of places Uh-huh. She starts drinking and cream and then she leaves And I thought if I wasn't worried about how that looks I might do that. Yeah I mean, yeah, like there's some about creamers. It's like as a kid. That's kind of magical

Starting point is 00:04:26 That's oh, yeah, cream. Maybe she knows the time they just poured them so they're nice and cold But if you'd had no concern about right you might walk by a restaurant go I bet they got some nice cold creamers and I'm gonna have myself. Yeah Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I can see that coming through and just kind of sniffing the cream just having some Yeah, just being always want to like touch people on the back of their neck. Yeah Wow, that's an interesting one because I feel like it's like the most kind of like It's almost like a real parental place. Oh, yeah, it's caring. It's yeah So you you mean you're the parent? I don't know. I mean, maybe I would dress up in a suit or something

Starting point is 00:05:04 but I don't know if I would be like the parent but I just yeah, sometimes I want to do that even when I'm just talking to people. I want to like Almost like if I put my hand on the back of their neck, we would know more about each other or something Yeah, you'd be closer. You'd be in arms length away. Yeah When I was in school in middle school that moment. Yeah, it's hard to escape it So then I think you're there with like the honesty of whatever's really going on When I was in middle school if you got in a fight They made you stand in the hall all day and hug each other like this. No shit. Yeah

Starting point is 00:05:38 Like what do you mean like your hands on each other's shoulders on each other's shoulders slow dance. Yeah Yeah, you and another dude. Yeah, yeah, and you're both going. This is bullshit. Yeah after how long? Probably I think I was out there for four hours one time probably no shit Yeah, I mean this kid Brad Caseman did you have like blood on you from the fight still and yeah, it's still pretty dirtied up I mean, I was I will yeah, he got the best of me Hmm, but yeah, we were out there and the kids would come through during that like and you try to be kind of cool like while it was a while it was like While it all while it was in class you would try to like just like be like you was kind of relax and be cool with each other

Starting point is 00:06:14 Yeah, then when the kids with the bell would ring and they would switch classes. You'd be like this is fucking gay Do you right? You know, you would like but then you're alone out there during class time. Yeah So you'd have to get to know each other. So you really would talk probably right? Yeah I mean, what there'd be like a period of just like man fuck this fuck you man. Yeah, but then you start going so what what do you Like what are you doing after school or why were you you know, it's just what do you have sisters right? Yeah, you start you get into it and then he became a friend. So I like that. I think yeah, there's some about smart idea The only that pose of hands-on shoulders

Starting point is 00:06:50 It reminds me of when I was I mean that was middle school. So this was fifth sixth grade kids boys and girls started Saying they want to be boyfriend girlfriend, you know, they started to be that thing and It was only the cool kids that could do that like anybody that was below, you know in the nerdy or just not popular Anybody the glasses on was out. I know you had no Currency, yeah, but all the cool kids got to hook up. Yeah, and so they would be like Mike McDougal and Samantha Amanda's sevens these real people are gonna kiss and they did it as a tribe too You didn't just walk up to girl like I I walked up to girls and said you want to be my girlfriend

Starting point is 00:07:31 They're like yeah flag of the play buddy. That's not what's done That's like somebody coming off the sidelines and just getting in the play. Hey, give me the yeah I'm gonna come in and just sip in your cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah So you had to it would be like they decide as a tribe Mike and Amanda are gonna be a couple Yeah, so Amanda's friends would push her and Mike's would push him and they'd have to go to some place and kiss Like a tree or something. Yeah, and they would stand like that with hands-on shoulders Just that exact and they'd be like looking at like trying to look to the sides and everybody's go come on and everybody come on Mike you fucking like fucking screaming at him and he's like and

Starting point is 00:08:10 Amanda don't be a you know, that's just whatever and then they Everybody goes oh, and it was Yeah, yeah, they're both queer And one of them stepdad was there to you like what is that? Yeah? Yeah, why come on Mike? but But it's a similar thing of kids two young people trying to You're teach I never heard that that your school must have that's a really creative and interesting I thought it was it was one and me and that me and that guy are still friends

Starting point is 00:08:39 I just saw him a couple weeks ago, and I thought but I'll do that thing just It should be a regular thing one shining. Yeah, just saying a little yeah I'm it almost reminds me of Lord of the flies what you're talking about because it really was I never thought about it like that Like the whole tribe kind of had to agree that Scott and Jessica were gonna kiss that's right And then like if you were like like a little bitch that was standing there and kind of like just like Watching like some people were right up there like you know nudging him in but some people in the back just yelling straight You know no things were very tribal of medieval

Starting point is 00:09:18 There's microcosms there at those ages. Oh, yeah, I had a friend who was very popular But he had me like as a side bitch in some weird way like I was his friend But I didn't get to hang out with him in the we lived close to each other He left two houses down for me So he would hang out with me just me and him but when he was out with his boys like I just wasn't invited right weird thing but one time I was playing basketball with him and some guy from his group came over and Because he was kind of a leader And he's telling this guy why he's out

Starting point is 00:09:52 And I hadn't seen that before like I was just I just sat and listened and he was like saying he was like Hey, man, why are you mad at me? Everybody's saying you're mad at me. Nobody talks to me anymore this other guy Like why is nobody talking to me and he said cuz you're just you changed And you're not you're not cool anymore. He's like what do you mean? I changed? I'm just being myself and he's like and he wouldn't give him the information like he hadn't done anything. Oh He's just like you're just out man. You're just not It's not you know, you should look into yourself and decide. Wow. What does you do you think about it? It's not for me to tell you and the poor kid was like

Starting point is 00:10:29 Crushed because this was he he was part of this group and he was out after that and you'd never seen him be being that kind of I'd never seen that I was fascinated by it Yeah, and he also did it openly in front of me because I just didn't count, you know, right? He's like this is some fly on the wall this guy. I'll never yeah But we're like ten everybody was ten in the story Like where the fuck did he get this sophisticated kind of like Dick Cheney kind of like, you know You know, you're out. You're out, you know fucking and like your message. Yeah, it's Louie. He doesn't even matter. Yeah Yeah, I didn't know I was he'll never make it to the Capitol to tell anyone. No, I was a servant. Yeah

Starting point is 00:11:07 I'm like the guy got shot in the face. Yeah Dude, I remember uh Oh, were you just talking about? Oh, you're talking about friends middle school. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's crazy when you look at a ten-year-old It looks like they're doing nothing kind of like they're dumb and their necks getting longer But then it's like you look at you like um But then like you hear that a story like that and you're like, yeah, they have this whole cosmic universe It's going on. Yeah, cuz we don't see it when you see kids

Starting point is 00:11:34 They kind of look just frozen-faced and what cuz when an adult walks in the room like in Lord of the Flies Do you ever see the movie? Um, oh, yeah, I did well It ends with just like this boot this adult boot in the foreground. Oh, yeah Stops all the madness shut it down. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, you're right in their own world. They're you know It's so wild to think about that cuz I yeah, I really get it infatuated with those kind of times man like I Love that kind of stuff. I love growing up. I love like the mystery of all of it like how everything was so crazy and it was just and the things you could do man, we used to um

Starting point is 00:12:16 Like I remember the first time I ever touched a girl's breasts, right? they had this girl and they had this dude in our neighborhood he was Elvis impersonator, right and Like on stage or just in life I'll say a little more life. Yeah, I mean he walked around dressed like Elvis. Yeah, okay He walked around. I mean he did as good. He did as good as he could to get you know to be there, you know, and And anyway, yeah, he but he had well it's something happened to him. He got hit by He's something he'd broken a leg or something and they said it like in a they got it set Just he got it set locally basically had it like a somebody do it. So when it broke again, he had like a

Starting point is 00:12:58 He had an actual yes, so he was halfway to Elvis right there Yeah, so that he started with that and he was like, hey, man. Yeah, thank you very much. Yeah, you just started getting into it Yeah, he's just a nice guy. I don't think even Elvis got started like that So at least you could say it was grassroots right so or maybe he had a moment in the mirror where he's like Disney Cuz I could either walk around like this or I could put maybe it was a way to save it You know, yeah, I think it probably saved him some face because he was probably very embarrassed. So anyway His dog his kids he made him stay in the yard, right? He had electric fence on their yard and they were Pentecostals and One of the girls let me touch her breasts through that fucking fence, dude

Starting point is 00:13:38 Oh, and she wore a mother's nightgown. I remember she wore like a like an adult woman Wait a minute. I missed the connection. Who is she to the Elvis dog? Okay, and How old were you? I was probably 10 or maybe 11 and she was what? I don't know 40. I don't know. I mean she in my mind. She was right she was an adult She had a little it wasn't even a tip really tits was it was like a kid's breath I mean, it was a right not a kid's breath. Well. Yes. Well, you were a kid You can't be a child molester when you're a child. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you And I want to say that to everybody out there. Yeah, all you kids out there. Yeah, you're not pedophiles

Starting point is 00:14:16 Yeah, but oh, I remember still dude. There's just so much fear reaching through that. Oh, yeah The the electric chain chain link fence. No, it was um like a wire and it's not a barb wire Pull up an electric fence Zachary if you don't mind. Well, yeah, it's like on wood, right? They're like it's like It's just a cord. Yes. It's like a very well, so you reached your hand through the fence. Yeah. Yeah, okay There you go. So there was plenty here. It wasn't like you were touching fence No, but it was so and this came up to the fence. Yeah wearing her mother's nightgown Yeah, I swear to God it was a yes It was an adult to me. It seemed maybe so adult also to I just want a little context

Starting point is 00:14:58 Okay, like before and after yeah It's when I'm picturing with this this picture that you're showing of like this fence in his field Which is where electric fences are usually in a desolate place, right? They don't this was on this picture in this girl with like wind Flapping around this thing and then you just come and then you just do this This was like the way you get, you know, like it's scanning your hands. You can get into the into the chamber But I mean I wasn't like did you make a plan or did you see her cross? Did you see her across the fence to go? Hi Becky? And then you came to talk and then she said would you like to touch my breast? Was it like that?

Starting point is 00:15:35 I knew she liked me Okay, I knew she that they couldn't get out like their dad did not let like they didn't have a babysitter So they would just lock the gate or whatever, right? This is the kind of those yeah, yeah And so those times for some people. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I mean it was like Yeah in our area. I think if you had a gate that was your step. That was like your dad Okay, you know for a lot of latchkey kids. Yeah, just like that. Yeah, so but I remember yeah, I got close and just Yeah, she knew I liked her and I guess I think she'd been a little bit somebody had She had dated I think she'd been on a date

Starting point is 00:16:08 Okay, so she had maybe a little more experience, you know, I felt like yeah That was at that age. There was that thing where some of us had done it and some of us hadn't yeah, oh And it was such a no when we heard that there was a summer where somebody like Got a boner like got a sex on a pool toy or something Holy fuck and people were losing their shit. Yeah, the kid who got rejected by my friend He went he got went rogue, you know, he became like a bit of a nut So then when we were all in middle school or about to be in middle school He started doing some drugs and stuff and he would at Halloween

Starting point is 00:16:50 I remember he would wait till the end of the night and fucking take kids candy like he would take full sacks He would just walk up to kids and just grab and get the fuck away from me And he would just he didn't even like the candy He was really fucked up, but I found him back I I went I sort of latched myself to him like I went from that other friend. I'm like, this is the guy I mean, this is somebody worth knowing now But he was the first kid I knew who had like a shit ton of porn and stuff and so yeah, and he was the first person I

Starting point is 00:17:21 talked about sex with and He was like I want to but someday I gotta fuck a woman so but you know, so then I heard that he fucked a girl Oh, wow and I remember I I saw him in a park And I'd heard that he fucked a girl and I ran to him. Yes. Yeah, and I said, hey man I heard you fucked a girl and he said calm down man calm down You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Just shut up and I realized he's on the other side of this line that I'm

Starting point is 00:17:54 I'm a child and he's a man. Yeah, and he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. So Yeah, it was tough. Yeah, there's that line There's that like moment you cross over, man I remember finding some pornography in my brother's closet and and I found some liquor at the same time, right? And so I was having liquor and looking at Pornography and I blacked out. I couldn't handle it. I Fucking blacked out and fell off the shelving you and it wasn't from the liquor. Maybe you just couldn't you just overloaded Yeah, I had two I had two sips of it. It was peach, but I don't think it was anything. I couldn't handle

Starting point is 00:18:30 Yeah, it was too much at the beginning. Oh, that was so much. I remember the first Girl that I had a specific sexual feeling about was this girl in junior high school. We call the junior high school where I grew up Yeah, yeah, and She I had this fantasy about her I was laying my bed this before I did anything to myself or anything I just lay in bed and think about her. Oh, and I would picture her she wore this because I always saw her gym class It was this yellow t-shirt and a blue shorts was the uniform. We were uniform at gym Oh, wow, and and I just would picture her just lifting her t-shirt just a little bit

Starting point is 00:19:08 And that was and I go stop there like I don't I would tell myself don't ever in your life Think past that point. It's all but past that is not okay. Wow, and I stayed there for a long time Did you um, oh, I remember at summer camp they had this cute girl, right? I think she was cute I don't know. She was a female and She would let us come over and look she had like this kind of boyfriend that liked her and we're all kind of jealous It's other camp counselor. Yeah, and sometimes she would let us come over and look down her shirt And oh, yeah, and he would sit there right by kind of like oh a little bit of a cuck thing little like monitoring Like you're allowed to come in and see what's in the shop, you know, whoa

Starting point is 00:19:49 It was he was a counselor. Yeah, were you a counselor? Were they all I was a kid Wait a minute. So he was a counselor. Was she a counselor counselor? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She was a counselor Yeah, so it was like we're gonna let the boys look at her tits Yeah, I think it was just I don't know if it might have been raining out or something There wasn't like anything planned or whatever, but they I Remember they that we got to go over and like and one kid I remember this crazy dude. Yeah, this black kid try to put his hand. Oh, really? Yeah, what'd they do? What did the guy do the guy kind of shut him down? Okay?

Starting point is 00:20:22 That's what he was there for and then yeah, and I was like oh this kid knows more than I do right cuz I was like I went up hands behind my back like I was so you did oh man I was like because I feel like if my hands I can't control my hands around a tit So I gotta put them back there. That's enough control. It just gave me a little bit of leeway We're a little bit. Yeah, if I felt I'm coming across my hips walk away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get it I'm I'd like to imagine the conversation between those two counselors, you know What we gonna do today? Checkers what are we gonna do is rain and then she's like how about we let him see my tits and he's like well

Starting point is 00:20:57 I don't know. I'll be okay if I'm in the room. I think that's okay. Yeah That's wild. Yeah, it was just but it's a crazy. I'll sell like moments were so I Don't know there was nothing stronger in the world to me than some of those moments of being in a child Especially when like sexualization came into things just a giant I mean I was first I had a really slow build cuz I wasn't like in the popular group So I didn't kiss a girl In middle school once I didn't kiss a girl till high school till soft more year high school That's kind of normal. I guess maybe it is. Yeah, but you had the good-looking friend that would kiss girls. Oh, yeah

Starting point is 00:21:38 There was a couple I remember This guy Mike walking with him once from school We could we could leave go out for lunch and stuff at our high school And he was he took a shirt off his summer So he's just walking in in shorts or something and girls were catcalling him and I never I'd never heard of that of Of girls they were going oh Mike, you know, come on, baby. Give it to me and he'd go like no not enough for you He was like kind of coy. Yeah, and I never knew that girls like lusted after guys I just thought it's guys want sex and women, you know girls let you

Starting point is 00:22:11 When they give you the one they want to let you for some other reason or something like that Yeah, cuz I hadn't still hadn't done anything and then when I was a sophomore I met a girl I think well there was a girl that I wanted to date with Who I just fell in love with oh we kissed and we fell in love and and then she lost interest immediately So she I got heartbroken right away, but we only ever kissed But this girl Becky was the first girl that she was like let me touch your tits Oh, let me put my hand in her jeans. Oh, it was like all at once with Becky just those two Because the early things are all things you do for them. Yeah, I mean the idea. They're gonna touch your dick

Starting point is 00:22:49 It's like that that's no that was crazy never gonna happen No first the first like three bases are all shit you do for them really. Yeah, and my dick It my penis hurt so much. I've been touching it so much. It was always in pain Oh Too much. Yeah, like if I owned if I treated anything as bad as I treated my penis It would be unbelievable imagine you get a little guy around and you just beat him on the back all the time Please spit up And it feels really good

Starting point is 00:23:19 When he spits you're like, yeah It would be hard not to beat the shit out of that kid every day every day I would hire other people to come beat him The NFL playoff picture is locked in and my go-to place for wild card round action is draft Kings sports book It's an official sports betting partner of the NFL To kick off the road to the Super Bowl 50 7 new customers can bet just five dollars and get two hundred dollars in free bets Instantly if you don't have an issue with gambling then I think this is the place to do it plus all new and existing

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Starting point is 00:26:27 You're a boy. You don't know how to handle yourself. You don't know how to keep your room clean You know little boys just they smell they don't they don't they're animals Yeah, and then you learn that there's this thing that makes you calm. It's like forget it. You'll rip it off You'll rip it straight off your body like you get as close as you can. Oh, yeah, you know You get it you get to the point where like I can't do it anymore. Yeah, like I had I need like a week off Because it stings. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I want to rip it off and throw it back to Africa sometimes I That's really how I feel man

Starting point is 00:27:03 Sure, and somebody over there. They'll make a fucking soup out of it. You know I'm saying they don't even it's like that's what they'll do Or I think wait for white dicks to land. There's another one. There's another kid who couldn't take it and they make a soup Throw it back to the motherland. Yeah, I love stuff like that man those feelings all that stuff Did you um have like a role model telling you about sex or anything growing up? Uh? Uh No, I had friends and all of us. I remember when we my friends and I first started like the group of friends that I had would talk about sex and The one but they and we're like taught telling each other how it works and

Starting point is 00:27:44 One kid said well you put your penis in her vagina and you just and you and you come He said that you come one of your balls comes out when you come. Oh, and it really hurts. Oh Yeah, and I said and we had had sex ed in school. I said, I don't know if you guys paid attention, but that's not what happens I said first of all you go in and out and they all my all my friends were like you fucking idiot No, you don't you just put it in you don't go in and out like I got a loitering at a hearty Yeah, yeah, no you you just go he's just like you just leave it in there But uh, no my father taught me my father is a odd guy and he sat me down And he said I think my mother told me need to talk to I had three sisters older sisters

Starting point is 00:28:36 I was the only boy So she said you need to talk to him and what he told me was he said when you have sex with a woman You need to make her desire you So you enter her he just skipped all the like how it works He just said you enter her a little bit you touch just barely touch her and Then you come out and you and you withhold he's Mexican and he had a weird sort of traditional He'd say and then you and then you make her beg and beg

Starting point is 00:29:09 Oh, and then you go in again, and you go only a little bit and then you just come out again And you you keep withholding and until she can't stand it Wow, and only then do you really penetrate her and she'll Come like a rocket like he was just he taught me how to make a woman come. He wasn't wrong, right? He wasn't wrong, but I think you need to tell a little kid some other shit first Before you get to like how to make a middle-aged woman come. Yeah. Yeah, but that's what he was like He was very narcissistic, you know, wow Yeah, I am taught you it's about sex. I mean, did you ever I'm asking the same question a mentor?

Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah, thanks for asking man. My dad when my dad was 70 when I was born so my dad was an older guy Yeah, and so he um He would always tell me he had dated chicks grandmothers that were like in my class and stuff like that Hmm, and he would show me like poems that he had written and they were like on paper that was like disintegrating like it was like It was also he was teaching you about romance. Yeah, my dad was more of a romance. That's nice So he was teaching about romance, but nothing about sex One time I saw him He I think he had cancer or somebody was walking out in the hall and like I

Starting point is 00:30:23 Thought he was going to have like he'd had a new girlfriend And we were at her house. She had a nice house and she made all this like beef brisket or whatever I'd never even seen it, you know blew my fucking mind. Yeah Just what what your were your parents married? They were married to a lot of seven and then they got divorced And did he have kids before with other women? Yeah? Okay, yeah, three other children. Okay, so he's now so now you're how old I'm maybe at this point I was probably 12 and you saw him somewhere and he had another girlfriend Yeah, she let her house. He only ever had baloney and cold cuts. Oh, I'd never had brisket. No, of course not. I mean I was

Starting point is 00:31:05 Yeah, I'd never even I'd never even couldn't imagine it and then um, I He was walking down the hall and I thought he was going to like have sex with was at night time And I would sleep on their living room on the living room couch and then he literally He was sick and he Defocated all over himself and it was like one of the scariest and craziest things that ever happened because I remember watching him and thinking well my dad's going to Like be with this lady, you know and she was like wealthy and I don't even know why she even liked us but she did and then

Starting point is 00:31:40 He was sick, you know, and then I was so afraid to try to go to help her anything because he was like He had cancer and he was getting real sick. I didn't know Wow, but it was over that way. Anyway, that story took kind of a weird turn, but Yes, yeah, that's just life, you know, but yeah, it was like a moment where there was just a lot of life But so one interesting way you put it is you say what she didn't know why she liked us So you and your dad were like a unit you were like a team like so did when he left When your mom and when your mom and him divorced you went with dad No, I stayed with my mom, but I always felt like my dad was just more loving

Starting point is 00:32:15 Yeah, my mom has like kind of like an emotional kind of autism like she can't show you affection kind of that's hard Yeah, and a lot of parents like that. It's hard. Is there? Yeah. Yeah So it was just kind of like but she's a hard worker and stuff, but anyway, it was So then and I was kind of infatuated by my dad because nothing he did he was older So everything was awful little it didn't make sense And it was kind of I think it was more fascinating, you know being around him Yeah, I felt that way about my dad a little bit because he wasn't like any of my friends dad's he was a strange guy He's a Mexican and

Starting point is 00:32:50 Did he look Mexican dude a bit like you European Mexican, you know, there's a lot of different kinds of Mexicans I lived there till I was about seven. Oh nice but But yeah, he was weird. So I kind of like I was fascinated by him, but I he didn't show much interest He I just remember him always looking at his eye level. He didn't look down at me much I just always looked up at his face and he was looking that way Wow, and it's that dude. Yeah. Well, it's a hard But I feel more bad for him because he didn't he was alone up there

Starting point is 00:33:25 I didn't think about that. I do now because he's you know, very very old and in a chair like this and he's alone No, you know, we don't go see him much me and my sisters. Yeah now my mom I mean when she was she died and in her last year of life when she was you know we were like there and Kept her in our houses and kept took care of her till the last second. She had us all around her Never alone because she was just was a loving person and she you know, you wanted to be with her Oh, wow But my dad was all fucked up in his own head and he was you know, I mean narcissism is like a it's a sickness

Starting point is 00:34:01 Yeah, and it's isolating as very sad, you know, I feel bad for him now I'm able to feel bad for him because he was it was painful to be his kid, you know, physically and mentally so But I'm past that 55 years it takes a long time to you know We surprised how long it took to get past that kind of stuff because I find it's interesting a lot of audiences like kind of guys that kind of like Are fit still figuring things out. It's kind of like a lot of late bloomers. Yeah, I think and no judgment to any of the listeners, but Yeah, I think a lot of young men are stuck in this time where it's like, yeah, we're fake It's almost like you're figuring your shit out your parents shit out

Starting point is 00:34:40 It's like it's almost come to like this kind of like curve in the pipe where it's like we got to kind of figure the shit out in here Yeah, I think that's right, and I think it's hard. I don't think you can rush it I don't think I think it happens later because something comes loose. It just does it's nothing you can figure out It's nothing where you can go. Oh, I mean you think about it once or some and also you spent a lot of life avoiding it Right, so like my when I was a young dad and stuff. I just pushed my dad away I just didn't want to think about him. So I just decided he didn't matter anymore for years and Like when I was little I remember he was spanking me once which is now to me a really odd thing is a man's hand spank that fucking bear Ass a little bony. I can't fathom it now. Yeah

Starting point is 00:35:26 Put pants on the kid. Yeah, what are you doing? It's really gay and weird and I'm setting it. Yeah, but I Remember being spanked so fucking hard like it was it was like blackout spent like I can't handle this and I remember thinking to myself I think it was about nine. I thought the day I get a wallet like that was the magical thing The day I get a wallet with that money in it and cards and that set of keys the second I have that I ain't never gonna look at this person again in my life I'm getting away from this guy soon as I have those that's all you need So you had a lot you were really you were ready it really yeah I really didn't like being around him and my mother divorced him when they were when I was 10

Starting point is 00:36:14 So then I had a lot of years Just with mom where he was around and he would ask for attention sometimes and I didn't I wasn't afraid of him anymore But I but he made me uncomfortable. I didn't like being around There's a lot of good things about my dad and I owe him a lot Yeah, totally, you know and he hated you he did and he also Devoted a lot of life to you know He was a Mexican and he is our family Mexico. They do okay And they have some influence and they have you know, he had a better life there, but he moved to America

Starting point is 00:36:46 It's sort of the opposite of most immigrants that he went from Mexico where he was pretty well established to America where he had No tools to survive and where he didn't get the culture But he did it because my mom was the strong one in the family My mom worked really hard and she she raised us and supported us Wow, so so he is picking my mom instead of somebody in Mexico and that's how I got to be In the land of opportunity. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, it's interesting man. How they have a lot of times It's our a previous generation had to kind of take an L and had to like really that's right So you could have it, you know, it's hard to imagine imagine that in your own life. I'm gonna do something shitty

Starting point is 00:37:26 Yeah, oh, I'm gonna move to Toledo. So my son. No, fuck you kid. Good. Good luck I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna go to Vegas and just keep trying to win. Yeah, I'd rather sell my ass on the internet Yeah, fuck that take my chances But I then I so I went through years of like not wanting to think about them And then I once in a while, I would check in with him and see maybe we have something And he'd feel the same and I gotta want and he didn't even seem interested sometimes and that was shitty Um, but then and my mom meanwhile took care of him. She after they divorced she kept because he was kind of a mess And I learned from that from watching my mom do all the way to the end, you know

Starting point is 00:38:03 My mom when she was dying she provided for him and stuff and I learned about her from that and I asked her about it I because because She had no reason to be with the guy anymore They had been divorced so I was 10 and now you know, this was a few years ago And she said I want to send a message to him with she was leaving him some money She said that he's I want to send him a message that he's not alone in the world Now that I'm gone somebody gives the shit about him

Starting point is 00:38:29 And because that's a that's a promise. She made him when she married him and even though they divorced She's she's still honored that promise even though he didn't stay to his side or whatever and so that helped me like I was a that was a That was a role model for me my mom later in life And then after she died, I was about to say left my after she'd left

Starting point is 00:38:56 after she'd left me by ceasing to breathe And so guys probably think that yeah, fuck you mom. I needed you bitch After she died my sister and I who were were at her Uh of memorial that we had for her and he came and neither of us had seen him for a long time And we were talking we were standing in a room talking about we we should uh Um, where we're gonna put him so we don't have to be near him and then he walked up with a cane and we were both like fuck Come here and we sat with him

Starting point is 00:39:28 And then we had this interesting affection for him because mom is gone She would have wanted us to be good to him and he was so weak And he was so and I just felt bad for him and I felt a tenderness for him So I go to see him once in a while in this place where he lives and last time I saw him I just let I let go of everything it just all went away And now I just feel this tenderness. I just feel so sorry. Sorry for the guy I'm all this left all anger and guilt all those bad feelings. They burn away with time They all burn away completely

Starting point is 00:40:03 And so I'm just left with who's I sort of fascinated by him now I look at when he talked he struggles to talk and I look at his face and watch it struggle You know and I feel I feel for him. You know any one long answer. Sorry No, but it's kind of a beautiful answer. It's about how life is, you know It's like it's funny when you go back to see like kind of the dragon whatever the dragon is and time has affected it and it's changed Yeah, it's all time It's gonna be for your listeners that are struggling with it. It's like you can't rush it and and it's okay if you have blocks and stuff You'll you'll I mean you can trust yourself a little bit. You know what I mean? You'll get there. You'll get there when it's time

Starting point is 00:40:42 Yeah, I think uh, I have I had a lot of like I was ashamed of my dad a lot I think because of his age and so I think I had for a while. I had some issues with that but even over time that kind of went away, you notice how I would kind of like Probably look at him or I'd introduce him to people as my grandfather. There's little things that it's like You know, I start to think well wonder how that affected him or um, I don't know It's interesting, man I'll I'll just love all that kind of stuff like how people relate to one another and

Starting point is 00:41:11 And especially from our parents growing up Did you wish you had a dad like other kids dads that were like younger and stronger and more dad like dad like or A little bit, but then like some one dude's You know, his dad like held up the ready-made with a shotgun for pills, you know, so it was like My dad just like bought a my dad bought a cutlass like a delta 88. Remember those cars. Yeah, sure I remember well, yeah and pull one up long car. Yeah, it was uh, oh, yeah Well, he had a long kind of rectangular car. Wasn't it? Well, he had yeah, some of the early ones were he had a good ltd too for a while

Starting point is 00:41:43 Yeah, those were fucking they just that hood. Oh, you could just live on that It was so warm in there. There were always like four cats in there. Yeah, sure and they would stay in while we drove somewhere like it was like It was those cars floated too, man. They were comfortable. Oh, I loved cars like that Oh, I feel like you get yeah six blocks and you're pregnant in that bit Yeah, that was a dad car when I was a kid But then when I was in high school, everybody would have those like kids would have those they'd spray paint and whatever You know with cans of spray paint and they were like badass fucking cars I mean the bumper is like this thick and it's pure steel

Starting point is 00:42:21 It was fucking it was like make it made of iron that car. Oh, they were so good About three miles to the gallon My dad bought his off a couple like brothers that lived around a corner in our neighborhood And so it had like these big speakers in it, right? And so he would drive and he couldn't even hear right there like 22 is in the trunk And so he would be listening to like Paul Harvey and like, uh, whatever that is in PR or something He was with npr within or maybe it's just Paul Harvey. What is that? I don't even know who that is Uh, good day. Remember that guy on the radio. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean it was like rush limbaugh, right?

Starting point is 00:42:54 Oh, he'd listen to rush. Okay rush limbaugh and npr very different. Oh, they are So he would listen to rush limbaugh or those guys and then it would be like, uh, but it would be with bass, right? Like so he would just be driving around Fucking listening to like insane like with the real bottom to it. Oh, it was unbelievable And he always had like this old his car was just stacked with just bullshit because he My dad got this job like going to like he would go to college and sign people up for credit cards like that guy or whatever Oh And that was one of the first place he would take me there with him when I was like 11 or 12

Starting point is 00:43:27 He even let me drive him because he was fucking like, you know at that point he's 82 so, uh So as soon as I was about like five maybe Six or seven he let me drive him over there And then I would stand on the table and like bark at people to come over and get the credit card thing Yeah, and I think maybe that's where some of like my first semblance of Like getting on stage or like staying stuff or whatever kind of came from um

Starting point is 00:43:53 But yeah, that kind of stuff man. I love thinking about growing up and what happened and and how it affects us now um We had uh, man, there's one other little story I was going to tell you Let me see if I can think of her for one second dad and the shot guy was held up a store with a shot Oh, yeah, dude the The other parental role models in our neighborhood. It was pretty bad. You know, yeah I wouldn't have traded my dad for other dads. I wouldn't have yeah I did like that. I do feel lucky that I had a weird dad that I had an unusual father

Starting point is 00:44:25 Uh, my mom used to say that he's not boring, you know And it makes you who you are I mean, you're from a you have a very specific background and a very very, you know a very rare upbringing And that's a great thing for you now, right right. Yeah at the time it felt painful But now I realize wow, this was all uh part of the plan. That's right Um, we had that now I did admire like that magnum p. I dad with the fucking like I mean just the hair coming up around the bottom of the shorts Like the hair was like trying to get back up to his mustache, you know, it was like, yeah

Starting point is 00:44:58 This hair has a plan that's right fucking dude and is and we had to go out there and push this one dude Glenn his dad had that big Dish that direct tv dish. Oh, yeah, sure. We had to push that bitch to get the porn So we'd have to go out there. Oh, you'd earn it, you know, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and we'd have to get that cinemax And we'd fucking put your shoulder into it or you couldn't come that was that's right I remember that the cinemax and that stuff that I remember home box office HBO was the first thing And I mean, I don't know how old are you again? I'm 42. Okay, so I'm 55

Starting point is 00:45:31 And I remember first there was just television. I don't know. You probably don't go back that far There was just terrestrial. I mean, there was just the antennas antennas. Yeah And uh, no tv got really good reception. No tv on the in the world really got a reliable picture I mean, that's the way I remember it. It was just always maybe some rich people But you're still beholden to weather, you know phones didn't sound so good. Like everything was a little wonky and um The channels were you know Whatever different cities, but it was usually like two four five and so it was like a abc cbs and nbc

Starting point is 00:46:10 Right and then fox came along and it was like that's interesting and then you had this uhf channels Which was this other dial you'd put the your dial that just has seven numbers on you And uhf we had like 50 channels that were a different frequency And those were local stations that had like like movie like a lot of them showed the local sports would be there Right And boston it was channel 38 was the red socks and then they had movie loft where they'd show old movies So that's where you can see stuff like that with thousands of commercials and stuff Right, but then hbo came along and it was a box that you put on top of your television

Starting point is 00:46:50 Oh, that's why they call it home box office. Yes home box office and also the idea of like a A box office like you're going to a movie And uh and it had an antenna I think and it had it but it scrambled it brought in a Hbo is a scrambled channel and this thing was the decoder. I think it was still by antenna at first Um, and they had like dirty movies Violent movies. Wow Stand-up comedy with cursing. Yeah and boxing and it was Fucking incredible and then another company called star case came along and they were competitors

Starting point is 00:47:25 But they both and then they then they had a cable then it was like we'll bring it to you in a cable And then cable tv was like everything coming in on this crazy cable hundreds of channels and all that stuff all at once but But that was that thing that hbo did was like, you know, we're gonna you could see anything here that changed the game Yeah, because you otherwise you wait till the movie comes through town Right, there wasn't you know and around then v then vcrs started up and then you could get it, you know those cassettes And yeah, we had vhs as I remember was big, you know We had to ride our bike to go get it and they had that porn room remember the room sure I worked at a video store. Oh you did when I was a kid when I was in high school. Wow

Starting point is 00:48:03 So I got a little bit overly Too quickly exposed like I mean we had a porn room And I would run with the the guy that around the on the store was just he just gave me the keys Like he made me run the store So yeah after I would wait I would like look at the clock waiting for it like I just wanted to close So I could go in the back room in his office and just fucking just jizz Everywhere, I would have fucking licked the boxes. I think yeah, it was it was a lot

Starting point is 00:48:33 Oh, I remember seeing some but one guy chiseled some tits into a fucking tree in our neighborhood, right? Like back in this woods behind our fence And so what had chiseled a fucking set of oh Bangers homie some fucking milk muffins daddy. He fucking chiseled a pair with you mean like an artist like he yeah Or like a I don't know what it's called. What's that car chisel with the little flathead on it? Yeah, I don't know what his tools were whatever but this guy was pretty good I would say probably And then but people would go out there and come you know ejaculate. Oh you'd see there was porn magazines back there

Starting point is 00:49:07 And it was on this little hill kind of so it almost had this that's incredible Native or think people I think people said it was Native American or something, but I don't know but you didn't you knew the guy that did it though. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, amazing dude. I'll tell you another story about the same guy. So He one time me and my buddy this kid's summer all we're walking down the street And it but it was a tree though. So it was like a living tree Yeah, and there was tits on it that he chiseled and not many folks would come and jack off to it Yeah, I don't know how many folk. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like people were like buses wouldn't stop

Starting point is 00:49:39 Yeah, it wasn't like yeah, what do you call it the Graceland or something? Yeah, yeah But if you knew you knew you know what I'm saying, right? Um, and this was also woods and people used to go to the woods to jerk off Huh, and that was something you'd find I think in any town you hear people there's pornography in the woods It used to be people would bury a stack of duty bags. I found a stack of porn That's in the woods. That's first thing I first time I ever saw any of that Yeah, and we had they had an empty broken washing machine right there and people would put the porn in there right and so

Starting point is 00:50:10 You get the you know Get your fuck, you know get that deal out and then now the first porn I ever jerked off to was some girl or tits In shorts and she had gravel gravel all over it because Because I found it in the dirt. Oh, yeah that magazine just like pock marks from the gravel Life is sad, buddy. Yeah, but it's real dude. God and look In some cultures you still find that, you know, so go ahead. I don't mean to interrupt you No, that was it. There would be you know, you would ejaculate to that and uh, but it was a different Yeah, people would go into the woods. It's almost like

Starting point is 00:50:48 You know, you'd bring it back to nature I mean my dad I remember caught us jerking off one time and made us bury it in the yard bury the semen in the yard And quit it well to make it like Respectful or something. Yeah But you would just you wait a minute. How did he you caught wait first you said he caught us jerking off Yeah, yeah, well, I guess it was there was uh It was just me, but I say us. I don't feel alone. I think

Starting point is 00:51:15 I'll do that a lot. Sure that makes sense But so he walked in and you you had just come on yourself. Yeah, well my mother caught me And then she he so she went to him and said he's been jerking off. She told him Yeah, she would always kind of wrap me out about stuff like that. Yeah, but was the jizz doesn't stay like how did he No, but he just said you went wherever this is you need to take it and put it in the yard And that was it. So you just kind of went like that. No, it was on a sheet. Oh it was on a sheet Okay, so the thing you came on had to be buried But I would kind of it made me create a respect for him. I think like as uh, and it gave me a kind of an, uh,

Starting point is 00:51:49 a affinity for nature Sure You fucked nature in a sense Oh, do you remember my buddy would come over and we would just fucking mount our pillows in the cool Yeah, different corners of the room. Yeah, the one you have a teenage Well preteen boys when they start preteen. Yeah, there is there is like a camaraderie in that stuff Yeah, I had a friend who used to we used to tell each other stories about girls like I sleep over his house And he'd sleep on his bed. I'd sleep on the floor

Starting point is 00:52:18 And we called it telling each other juicers. That's what we called it juicer So like he would tell me he'd say, you know, pick a girl and I'd say, you know Gretchen And he'd say, okay, so you you and Gretchen Are in school and you know, you're like you decide to walk home together and you go to her house and he just walked me through this story For us good and then I do it for him with whatever girl he wanted Oh, I can't even um, y'all did that for each other. Yeah, we did It was yeah, and I don't think That's awesome. I don't know if we were coming yet

Starting point is 00:52:52 I think it was just about squeezing it and getting this like getting this feeling and just listening to what he's saying And just it didn't occur to us that I mean, we were talking about girls We didn't feel weird about it. We we were good friends, you know I liked him. He was a good kid and sounds like it. Yeah, he was you know, it's just something to do for a buddy Dude, if I laid on a bunk bed right now and another man laid on the floor and told me a took me through like a good story I'd probably appreciate it It's so much more real than having to just jerk off to something you see on a screen. Yeah, that's no good I think that's one of the things that I miss. Yeah, I think

Starting point is 00:53:29 Dude, I remember when I first got an erection. I thought it was poop coming out of the Whoa front and I remember being so scared and um and I told this teacher and I then I think the teacher might have been like a gay man and so then I got this totally weird reaction from him But I remember thinking that poop was coming out of my

Starting point is 00:53:54 Like it had gotten lost And that's what the erection was. That's a terrifying thought. Oh, dude Because then I was afraid to go pee because I was like it's gonna smell bad. Oh my god. That's terrifying. Oh Oh, you know, I'm on it Look at my wig, baby. I'm wigged up and wigged out. I'm wigging. That's right keeps Keeps help you keep your hair two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are 35 years old That's unbelievable

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Starting point is 00:55:26 You know starting off the new year with some attainable goals is what I try to do I want something attainable. I want to drink more water I want to budget better You know, I want to set aside some time where if I want to have a candy. I'm gonna have a candy I'm not gonna feel bad I'm not gonna, you know wine about her or uh Or threaten anybody because I'm angry at myself. I'm just gonna have a candy. You can do it

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Starting point is 00:57:08 T H E O that's l i g h t s t r e a m .com slash theo if you think that your rates may be too high just check it out See what's there see what's possible Subjects credit approval rates range from 7.99 percent APR to 23.99 percent APR and include 0.50 percent auto pay discount Lowest rates require excellent credit terms and conditions apply and offers are subject to change without notice visit lightstream.com Slash theo for more information No, I was I grew up in a house like we had a half a house We only we had we rented the bottom half of a house. It was just all one level with rooms off of the

Starting point is 00:57:49 So we're all kind of crowded out of three sisters and my mom And so when I kind of came online It was hard to hide it Because I was just in my room and whatever stuff was going on and they all kind of became aware of it And that was horrifying to me. It was horrifying that my mom and sisters were like aware that like I think I heard them say Oh, he's well. That's what my mom likes was just cheerfully saying well boys have to touch their penises leave him alone And she's like and I'm like stop mom because my mom was just too nice, you know Like she I had

Starting point is 00:58:23 Playboys hidden like hidden as hard as I could hide them. Oh, yeah In under my bed in the I found a way to put them in the slats or whatever But I'm I was a boy so sometimes I would just jerk off and then just leave the room And so one day I came home and my mom had cleaned my room and she stacked my playboys for me like stacked them nicely And I was it was just an acknowledgement of my sexuality that I did not I was not okay with it was horrible. I appreciate it now. Yeah But uh, man, that's so interesting. Yeah, it's like our sexuality. We don't we it really is

Starting point is 00:58:59 It's yours and it's like kind of the only thing that you especially like an American culture, you know, it's very hidden. It's like I don't know. It's the only thing that I had like I remember. Yeah, I don't know some whatever whatever you're saying. It kind of makes me feel something. It's like That's my thing. I think I felt a lot in the world like I didn't have a like Everything else was up to someone else right like the environment. I was put into the family. I had to live with the financial circumstance uh

Starting point is 00:59:34 The you know Pedia files or whatever in our area all of that shit was somebody else is doing, you know But this thing it's mine. It's mine, you know, that's very profound thing. You're saying it's very true and so I think because I've always had a tough time with Like sexual connection, you know, like like in my 20 I couldn't even like I had like so much sexual anxiety in my 20s It was like hard to even engage, you know, so it was like um But man, yeah, it's just interesting to hear that kind of stuff

Starting point is 01:00:04 Yeah, because then you have you take this you discover this thing and it is yours in in a wilderness in a world like you're saying I think it's like that for any kid that age Uh, and then you have this weird task of taking that into the world and offering it to somebody else Right and bringing it to their mind And combining it and that's very scary And everybody has a hard time with that. I think I think that's fundamentally why people have like societally societally Issues with sex and why there's always sexual puritanicalism comes from one place or another Yeah, is because everyone has is this not sure how to handle that thing because it's so tender. It's like a very

Starting point is 01:00:45 Like I did once and it's not something I talk about a lot because it's very private for me, but I did um Uh, it's the psychedelic drug like therapy once, you know, like treatment with like ketamine No, it was a MDMA and I did mushrooms too, but I put on, uh, you know Blindfolded so it's not like molly where you're at a party or something But I went in deep and I saw this version of my sexuality Which was like I saw myself as this baby like floating in space kind of like with nothing around And then not directly from the dick part, but kind of like the umbilical cord like somewhere in between Was this like purple

Starting point is 01:01:27 Like cord And I saw it as kind of like a lifeline But also an outgoing thing, you know, and I saw it as like Incredibly fragile And like if you could have taken a bow from a violin and and rung on it It would have like made a crazy like, you know, this sorrowful sound Like it was just like

Starting point is 01:01:50 And I saw it as like this deep want But also something ancient about it like to be I thought and the thought I had in my head was you need to um respect that And you need to pity it like at the same time Wow, it helped me a lot to look at it that way and to see it as something that just be careful with that It comes from a very deep longing But also a weird wisdom like there's so much shit mixed in that. Yeah, and it's so Like you passed out the first time that you encountered it. It's like it's just so much

Starting point is 01:02:26 And you're giving it as a boy as a fucking boy. You're going here it is Here's the craziest thing in the whole world and it's yours now But it is it's it's yours. So yeah, I mean to take that And and and and combine it with somebody else and say I want to share this with you That is big stuff, man And most people where they wear a lot of armor when they do it Yeah, they wear a lot of armor They would do a lot of they become somebody else kind of people sexually a little bit or you you play role

Starting point is 01:02:57 Or you do something to to to come at it in a way that you know, you're gonna survive it and be okay and be you know I mean, but satisfy it. It's all it's it's untanglable. It's a fucking mess for everybody. Wow. It is It is untanglable Yeah, I had I had a girl to kind of break up with me Reese I just started kind of dating and we just kind of started and she fucking shut it down But I remember being yeah, thanks, man um I I remember being like

Starting point is 01:03:25 The part that kind of upset me the most was I told her that I liked her And it was like it was just so much risk in that for me like admitting that I Yeah, for some reason it was just so much vulnerability around that like I'm gonna say I like you because I was afraid that the truth would be that she didn't like me And I think it goes back to some of those like pride like This kind of pain that's not even I don't even know if it's mine But it's just been in my fucking cyst in my dna or somewhere that That

Starting point is 01:04:03 Yeah, you're gonna share you're gonna say here. I am yeah and somebody's gonna say Not today, right? You can sip out the cream or what you're gonna do comic because I don't have I don't that I don't have I don't I love telling women. I like them Really love it wow and I since I was a kid. I was like that when I started liking girls I walk up to them and say you're just beautiful and you're great I want to I want to go out with you or whatever and then I in junior high school before I'd ever kiss the girl I I learned a thing which was that All the hottest girls the top shelf girls

Starting point is 01:04:41 They'll talk to you. They like people. You know what I mean? Like they'd be aloof if you're trying to pick them up Mm-hmm, but I started making friends with them and I got to know them Really well like I talk on the phone for hours with like the hottest girls And I just like being near them. I just like knowing them, you know And I would tell them like I'm I tell them I'm attracted to them But I accepted that it wasn't you know, that's just I wasn't in the market You know marketplace, but I never never bothered me the thing of telling I like it if I meet a woman

Starting point is 01:05:11 I like I kind of want I have to I had to learn how to slow down and not tell her too soon. I want to tell her right away Yeah, I want to tell her before I meet her. I want to literally send out a mail now. Yeah. Yeah, you just want to say Hey, I I want I want you. I like you. I you're great This the thing about your face particularly the way you walk. Yeah Because that admiration is just a huge huge thing. Yeah, but it never bothered me to be rejected It never bothered me. Wow. That's no, that's nice because most women Even the snoddiest women would be nice about it. You know if you go up to the head cheerleader and like you want to be my girlfriend She's like, oh, she's like give me an in give me an oh

Starting point is 01:05:52 You don't get her but you know you get to have a moment with her. That's true, dude Yeah, there was nothing better than like making a beautiful girl laugh. That was always like if you could do that That's big It was like what this is a way that I can get to women somehow like this is a way This is the only way I have to come it's like, you know, I think there's something in that We're all just trying to use some some way to get to one another, you know, that's right Um, that's natural. That's how you figure out what's good about you and then you put it out there You go here's my thing shops. Yeah, like the the angler fish that has a glowing

Starting point is 01:06:27 He's got a thing and it glows That's a lure. Oh, it is deep-sea angler fish. It's the ugliest fish in the world Bring him up. Oh, I think it's called a deep-sea angler And he's got a little stick on his head with a glowing thing on it and it's a weakness Yeah, lures. It's he lures chicks Oh, yeah But that's actually the woman so what happens is crazy. What's fascinating. I just saw this the other night on a show that fish

Starting point is 01:06:55 Floats around with that thing on her head and these the dude is really small The dude is like this the size of like her jaw And the dude sees that and also gets the smell she puts a smell in the in the water And he follows her and he sees the light and this these folks live in total darkness They're in that they can't see that they're so below the surface. There's no light and they're still coming down there They're still down there having a fun. Yeah So so she she floats around just like this with those fucked up eyes in the dark And this dude sees when he sees that glow like he's in darkness and then he sees that glow when he's like

Starting point is 01:07:32 Pussy like pussy and it's the odds are so low for him Because if he's not a fucking great swimmer, he sees the glow But then he watches it fade and he's fucked and he dies But the best of the angler fishes is how they select He can get to it and he smells he uses the smell and the light and then he latches himself He's got teeth that latch under her belly And he keeps biting and biting and she fights him because she only wants the best. Yes Exactly like Marv Albert biting that ass

Starting point is 01:08:06 He didn't know what he really was, you know And then he finally latches on and then his face becomes part of her belly under these fuse What and then he's fused to her by the mouth For the rest of his life and where's this happening in Vegas? I mean for you could get anything in Vegas. No, that's but then her bloodstream is feeding him And she she eats she does life and it goes into him and he just laid he just sits there and comes He just constantly comes out of his mouth into her belly and gets food back and he's done He's like I don't need a fucking thing

Starting point is 01:08:41 Wow, this is yeah, like the ultimate fucking that kind of guy who finds a woman and latches He just latches on and they need that lifelong connection because it's so hard to find each other Because of the darkness. Yeah, so she can't because she can't keep looking for new guys. So this is it for them God, dude. Yeah, that's honestly one of the most romantic things that there is a weird way But it's that glow. So I don't remember. Yeah, so everybody's got there You got whatever your glow is you figure out. This is my thing and you put it out in the world Whatever it is. No, it's laughing making girls laugh is I remember being in a

Starting point is 01:09:15 At some party in high school With kids always I always felt like everybody was cool to me But these were dudes that were like with girls and everybody was cool and I was just kind of I was starting to do drugs Yeah, and I was starting to get cynical and not like stuff and I was starting to get kind of crabby about life You know just worked out well for you. It has yeah, and so these girls really cute girls Were with these guys and they were all and they're all being dudes They're like wearing shirts that show off their shoulders and their tan and their shoes fit Yeah, perfectly and they're like cool dudes and they're starting to get a little sensual like you know getting into like their hair

Starting point is 01:09:54 Cuts are a little 80s and stuff and they're all talking one of them said something like I don't remember the words But he said something like this like impressive. Yeah, and I said like something like this like fuck you Like yeah, whatever buddy, but I said it well and the two girls died laughing like they were they had tears they were like, oh my god because I just Destroyed the dude that they kind of wanted a Bryce. Yes, Bryce got fucking and and Bryce looked at me like What just happened? No, none of the dudes understood what just happened who's this wizard? Yeah, and I was they were all sitting in a circle and I was standing above them And I remember looking down at these girls and going

Starting point is 01:10:31 I have a fucking power that none of these guys have like I just made them come Wow, and there's no way you guys have made these girls come yet. They're all everybody's like 17, you know, yeah But there is that feeling when you're on stage you see like a guy and a girl and the girls just crumpled And you're like I'm fucking your girlfriend right in front of you. Yeah It is that's a win. Yeah That's a win. Yeah, it's like you have to get seen somehow you have to get I'm trying to think of I would do it. I I got people to laugh because I didn't Trust the world very much

Starting point is 01:11:03 And so I knew if people were laughing that they couldn't not like me and be laughing at the same time It was like this moment of solace like Yes, it feels I I recognize that feeling. Yeah, it's like I could take a moment um I want to talk about your movie. I want to talk about your show from last night. I have to pee really fast Yeah, I'll pee too if you're gonna pee. Yeah, I did. Yeah Dude, the show was awesome, man. Oh, that's not you came to my show. Yeah. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. It uh It is

Starting point is 01:11:38 Yeah, you are a I mean it is I felt like I felt like I left out of there with like shit on my shoes kind of but it was your shit I Didn't mean to shit on your shoes. It's not I know you didn't but that's what I was a comedian fellow comedians Yeah, I know what you mean. I how long you've been doing it now. I've been doing it maybe 18 years I think oh, it's not very long at all. Does it feel is that true when you say that? That's a really short amount of time. I mean you really you got it all ahead of you

Starting point is 01:12:07 Yeah, I'm starting to feel like that. I realized that I need to get out like I love telling stories so I love telling stories and and uh like jerry clower is like my favorite comedian I'm not sure if you're familiar with him, but he was like he's one of the best selling comedians ever like of like Albums and stuff, but he was um like the southern he was like this kind of southern storytelling But I love that kind of stuff, but uh, that's him right there Yeah, I know that face. Yeah so he um But yeah, I walked out and I was like Jesus christ

Starting point is 01:12:36 Who am I anymore? This is what I felt like walking out of your show Like are my beliefs intact? I remember even going like this when I walked out. Yeah Um What get what what gives you a kick when you're out there like do you find like is it still the humor that gives you the kick? Is it a non-comfortability? Is it like a control? Do you have any sense of that kind of I think uh, it's a lot of things all at once. It's probably why I like it Because there's a shitload of things firing at the same time, you know It's a lot and but I'm in control of it

Starting point is 01:13:08 And in the ways that I'm not are exciting. It's like sailing in a way It's like I know how to do all this stuff, but I'm still, you know, the winds still come in like I'm like, uh And I'm healing a little and I'm like, I don't know guys But I've been I've also got that veteran kind of I've seen this I've seen this I know how this goes And uh, and the you know, some shows are more fun than others The night before I shot this last night for a special that's right and that's coming out win Like probably February, but I'm I'm I'm doing the Madison Square Garden at the end of this month

Starting point is 01:13:39 Okay on January 20th, and I'm live streaming that show on my website and people will be able to buy it there Take it. Yes. They'll be able to buy the show and watch it for like 10 days and I'm taking it down I just want to share that night. Wow Because I used to play the garden all the time. I haven't been there in years and I don't want to return to that to that I don't want to be an arena comic. I don't like the kind of pro circuit thing anymore I just want to do stand-up because I love it But I got back there and we sold it out. I'm doing it in the round. I'm standing in the center and so

Starting point is 01:14:12 I want to just do it that one night so I can really appreciate it for what it is because when I used to do it a lot It was like I just take the subway and do the garden And I and there's a sadness that I didn't see how great that was and now I understand how great it was to have that opportunity so Coming back there. I'm calling that special back to the garden and and so So folks can live stream and watch it during the show. Wow, and then I'll leave it up for like 10 days just to stream But then it'll come down and go away

Starting point is 01:14:41 But what I shot last night is it'll be the same material But that's be my that's the special for this year and that'll go on your website. That'll go on the website for 10 bucks. Yeah So dude, yeah, I would come. Yeah, any but I like I I all I think I would maybe watch it again And that's insane for somebody to say to these days watch anything again Yeah, yeah, yeah, but because there's so many things. It's like it really is just so many Levels of what's going on. You know, I worked hard on this show and and but anyway But so the night before we did two nights because when you do special so I did Saturday night and that was fucking cream puff. That was just like

Starting point is 01:15:19 Being massaged. It just felt so good. Like I just felt like it was easy And I'm just like I'm on this one. I'm like like a kind of surfer who touches the water wall while he's in there Oh, you know what I mean? Like not the guy who's like this, but the guy who's like, yeah He's just doing this on the on the while he's in the tube. You know, oh, yeah He's kind of like caressing just touching the nipple of the ocean, you know like that's what saturday night felt like And everything was just I didn't have to think about anything and it was the the perfect thing for me Is when I'm really feeling the things I'm saying a hundred percent. I'm not in my head about how's this show going?

Starting point is 01:15:55 What comes next? How do I say this is the pace good? I'm really thinking like here's what I feel about Jesus like and I really feel it And it was it just was sublime and great um and last night was Not as easy like and coming off of that was hard. That's hard too because you can't yeah You can't replicate the you can't cheat your brain to know that you weren't on that. No, you can't on that high You can't and you and you have to I mean it all comes with experience So some early times in my life a great show could ruin a bad show

Starting point is 01:16:29 Because the bad one I just go what where are you what happened? But once you know like to me It's like the show is going to be as good no matter what I'm going to get the same outcome every single show the difference is going to be how much How do I have to work for it? You know how hard do I so last night? It was like all right you fucks And I had to really more I felt like I had to really try harder And probably when I edit it the second show will probably be the better show for Watching because it's not fun to watch a comedian be like Hey, man, this is great. It's not the comfort of a comedian. It's not funny

Starting point is 01:17:05 Yeah, it's watching the guy test the water to see if it's cold It's not as much the guy sitting in the hot tub. That's right. And but the thing I guess one of the things I love is going places because there's some places where you know The laughs are there's some places we know everybody laughs at And it's fun to say those things and be good at them and get the laughs that you knew were coming But I like taking people places where they they don't even like to think about they don't even like to Let alone talk about it or let alone hear about in a show. No But I know what's gonna come. I know it's gonna be okay. So I don't I'm okay with it

Starting point is 01:17:36 It's there's great power as a comedian and being okay with uncomfortable feelings With being okay with that you just brought something up and they're like Fuck And then it gets tight in there and I know that that tightness is useful And that there's a place to take that And then when they start to calm down a little bit, they're like, I don't even know where I am now This is a weird this you see it in their face. It's like like I've never laughed at this before And so I now I'm in a new place in my

Starting point is 01:18:04 Mind that's I think a very powerful thing about comedy. Yeah, because it's an opportunity to say stuff that's not appropriate. That's not All the comedy is on some level of saying something you shouldn't have said It's either you're saying something because it's too private like it's too you're oversharing Or which people love that you're just gonna I'm gonna tell you this fucked up. You do that a lot Just like I'm gonna tell you something really personal. Yeah, you need to know So you shouldn't have said that because usually in real in a real regular conversation or in politics or whatever You don't say things like that. The other you shouldn't have said is because it's so stupid Just a stupid thing. Everybody knows that's not true. What are you saying? Yeah, the other one is that's fucking crazy

Starting point is 01:18:45 That's crazy. That doesn't make any sense. These are all different kinds of humor But they're all based in saying something you shouldn't have said and then the other one is like man, that's not cool That's not cool to say that nobody likes that Yeah, that makes people mad and then there's just like that's wrong. That's that's morally wrong to say that Yeah, and all of those things If you can take people to those places which are all fear places fear of intimacy fear of the insane which is a good interesting kind of fear, you know the fear of the

Starting point is 01:19:18 of of truth or fiction, you know, and and fear of of uh Uh castigation by the by the masses, you know and fear of more morality of badness If you can take people to those places And make them laugh make them happy to be to give them a make them feel like this is okay Then suddenly they're there safely and that's expanding where you're willing to go with your mind, you know Because these are just this is a cage, you know, and it keeps you from seeing life. There's so much to life Outside of what you're supposed to be thinking about that's a that's a narrow trip, man, you know, so Either way the trip life is short. So if you could do short narrow or you can do short broad

Starting point is 01:20:01 I mean, it's a little highfalutin, but it's how I feel about it. No, it's honestly how I feel about doing stand-up Um, it makes sense hearing you say that and watching you and sometimes also it's just joke It's just I love the mechanics of jokes. Yeah, I love like I just got a new fucking joke Oh, there's nothing better, dude It's literally like pulling something out of your ass and getting everybody to smell it and they like it and they like it And now you're like I have this. Yeah, I always think it was going healed You know like in the old west like when once I have a set Like after I put this special out, it'll be I'll be I'll be fucking naked again. I have nothing

Starting point is 01:20:35 Yeah, but when you go back to the club and start getting then you got a set together and you put the gun belt on Like I can go anywhere now, you know, it's just there is there is a power rush to it I think also and it makes me feel proud of myself like I used to think For some comedians, it's about love. It's about feeling accepted and loved But for me, it's not that really because I feel weird about that I feel weird when I feel like when people stand up or they they show a lot of adulation I don't know what to do like it's not comfortable

Starting point is 01:21:04 It doesn't make sense. That doesn't feel human. Oh, that's interesting. I can relate to that. Yeah What I feel that's the big thing up there is Is Like I'm doing I'm so good at this. This is I'm nailing this I'm nail making them happy everybody's happy the show's good That's just I mean, that's you're making something good Yeah, it's very satisfying. You know and I get better and better at it. I tried something. I didn't think would work You know Like when I keep notes in the beginning of a when I'm starting to build a set

Starting point is 01:21:35 There's always a section that's like uh long shots You know the stuff that's never gonna have long shots. Jesus. I mean that's well The thing is those long shots like things that when I first did them the bottom would feel like oh The crowd's like no and I'm like this is one this one's gonna be hard But every long shot I ever did ended up being the big bits. Wow those end up being the solid Killer never fails the memorable great bits. Yeah The bits that I'd start with that were like this is that's a slam dunk That's something they start fading as the set gets more mature because you don't love them as much

Starting point is 01:22:10 No, I mean you like them. Yeah, they're horse, but they're not fucking wedding rings. Fucking horse. Yeah. Yeah, you're all right But yeah, you know come over if I don't get anybody else. Yeah Wow, dude. Yeah, I uh I can I could totally understand that I could see how yeah, it's about it's interesting that it's not about the affection It's about getting creating something that makes you feel pride in yourself. Yeah, it's pride in yourself I mean, it's a little more self-love than it is love from them. Yeah, I guess But that's okay. That's what we need. You know, I mean we're all just trying to like find some way to you know to feel okay Um

Starting point is 01:22:47 Yeah, I noticed I just started telling more jokes like talking more about jews and stuff in my set a little bit Like because I've always just been a freaks in LA. You can't even say the word It feels like like you just feel scared. Yeah, I didn't care just now when you said it. Yeah I just didn't have any jewish people by us growing up. So to me. It's just like but my jewish friends are like, dude This fucking shit is great. It's like but for so long. I was just so scared to even Well, here's why your jewish friends like it because they never hear it and the thing is The best way for people to get to know each other is to hear the voice of somebody who finds

Starting point is 01:23:19 They're alienated from a group and talking about them like Like like I remember years ago Tracy Morgan and I want to like get him and re in trouble. Whatever. Oh, let's see. Oh, he'll find a way Yeah, let's see. He did a joke about if his son was gay and He said, uh, I'm gonna love him if my son is gay. I'm gonna love him like any father loves any son But if he comes in the room and is like, hey daddy, I'm gonna stab that I just caused 70 problems, but the bit was so brutal and he got he was like an early version of like You can't say that and he had to go to like homeless gay centers and listen to people that were you know suffering and

Starting point is 01:24:00 He had to go on a big apology tour and and they and they shut him down And I thought that was a shame because there's such an opportunity in that He's telling you what it's like to be him where he's from And be and by the way, he's describing a conflict. I'm gonna love my son but I don't know how I'm gonna handle him acting effeminate because My community my community doesn't honor that and they think that is weakness and yet I'm working and living in Hollywood where I he's probably met gay people who he looks up to now So that's why he's got a conflict now

Starting point is 01:24:33 Totally so he the way he dealt with the conflict is with comedy by punching through it with a funny Brutal phrase and there's so much to that. There's so much to be learned from that and for it. It'll help people Uh on both sides. Do you know what I mean? Yeah? So it's for it's it's fun to watch people that don't know group talk about that group Yeah, that's how you learn. Yeah, that's how you see him, huh? Yeah. Yeah, man. That's how I see him I mean, that's where I came. It's exotic. Yeah, that's the joy of everything. That's yes That's what gives me any fucking excitement in the world. Like I love things like I grew up in a you know Black white environment. So I love thinking about race and how it interacts and just the surprises and

Starting point is 01:25:16 I love that kind of shit It's what even made me want to get people to laugh sometimes was if you could get black and white people to laugh It was like you were the best feeling in the world. Fuck it Elizabeth Taylor, dude That is the best feeling good No, and you need an you need more of both for it to work like if there's one black guy in the room Nobody white will laugh at a race joke. Yeah, but if there's 50 black people in the room They'll they'll laugh and then everybody's laughing. Yeah Because you gotta bring 49 other black people yourself. You need for yeah, I'm when I worked at uh

Starting point is 01:25:47 Well, that's I'm that's not a worthwhile story But at least you know that see that's the power of that's the power of the experience right? Yeah Yeah, let's cut bait with that one. Yeah, but I gotta tell you something because like last night so You know the feeling when you do like I don't know how what level you work at with stand-up like what what's a Room you would work around here. Not like do you do theaters and stuff theaters? Yeah, so but the comedy store But I mean, yeah, like I'll do a couple thousands heat then you probably okay So when you do a big show that's like a concert, right? It leaves me feeling this very dry feeling like there's adrenaline in my system, which is uncomfortable

Starting point is 01:26:24 But also now I'm alone like suddenly you're backstage. You're alone. Yeah, it's very strange. Yeah, they're all couples I mean, I don't some guys travel with an entourage people that keep them warm. I don't do that. Yeah, so I have opening acts But everybody's often couples and groups having fun and you're alone all of a sudden So I'm always left with this fucking and last night I felt it a lot because I had put a lot of pressure on last night's show Because I needed to get clean up anything I didn't do right night one and it's for the special, you know, right? So I was cranky and tired and exhausted And I went back to the hotel. I felt like shit

Starting point is 01:26:58 And I thought well, I'm doing this guy's podcast. I don't I don't really know your work. Yeah, like I know who you are I was I just automatically respect that you're successful because I know how hard comedy is But I thought I don't know like I should hear I should hear is I should hear his voice, you know, I should hear it So I I'm kind of ready for bed. I don't want to do anything, but I put my phone on iTunes. I found one of your albums Uh, it's like a picture of your face as a kid And what the fuck is it called? Oh, yeah I want to say what it is because What is this where Zach can help this is

Starting point is 01:27:34 Wait, tell us no, sorry musket fire musket fire So I put on musket fires. I'm kind of getting ready for bed And Jesus Christ, I mean I was I was I was Looking for something to like maybe I could pay him a compliment on something like, you know what I mean? Like I just want to be respectful. Yeah, I know who is and I was laughing so fucking hard I was I was just out. I don't know how long it's been since the comedian has done that to me I was just laughing my ass off. It's also a really good album like it sounds good And it's I don't know if this is what years this stuff is from

Starting point is 01:28:09 If you probably from a few years back. Yeah, you're you're you're like Hungry you're like a hungry comic, but you're so I mean, I'm just looking at the track list so I can remember the bits the thing I mean where the the the Where the title comes from where you said about your father being 70 Oh, yeah, and that you're you were the only sperm Yeah, and that you had to like shut the window you had to close up the nuts Yeah, and then you passed to like a skeleton sperm and you had to sweep up and sweep the floors Oh my god, it was so fucking funny the and the and then this story about Brad Pitt

Starting point is 01:28:44 I mean you have a shitload of weapons. Yeah, you have like, you know, like I think of comedians as pitchers sometimes like some guys have A fastball. Yeah, some guys are closers. So they just come with heat, you know and other guys have they can protect their fastball with Off-speed stuff, you know what I mean? I mean you have Long stories that you tell that are are that dizzy? I don't know how you come up with it's like and every story has it's like a Christmas tree with so many ornaments Oh, thanks, but then also when you're just doing straight ahead observation about life and sex and whatever just talking generally, which is two two things for comics Is speaking about their experience and their feelings and their experience is one thing But then the other one is like, here's how I see the world I mean, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:29:28 Thanks, man, I listened to then I listened to the other album the the the hamsters in the bag. Oh, yeah You called it Louisiana ivory or something like that. Oh, yeah, the ivory of Arkansas, dude Yeah, because they busted a guy with hamster bones in our town. Yeah, you stood you figured out it must have been like 2000 hamsters Yeah, we had to have a lot And this is the first time I've ever seen a hamster in my life. I mean, I've never seen a hamster in my life And we had to have a lot and this story where you're in Bathing suits with your friend you're wearing wet bathing suits surrounding a bunch of monkeys in a wendy's parking lot

Starting point is 01:30:05 Which is a poem of a sentence. Is there any truth to that story that really happened? Yeah, that happened in uh, because our town was where Thank you for the compliment. That's nice of you. Sure It'll probably one of the best compliments ever get. Well, it was shocking. I was like, I how do I not how do I never heard this guy? Yeah We're fucking great. Thank you. Well, it's crazy how we just don't get, you know, some people you don't know about people Yeah, you know Yeah, well comedians are single. We're not even like tennis players that are one on one. We're just one right

Starting point is 01:30:36 We're like kings on the chess board, you know, you know, you know, I can't you can't sit on the side by side squares Yeah, it's yeah, that's really interesting. You kind of just marvel from afar Yeah, which I think in a weird way is how I've always connected with people. Anyway, it's just this space Yeah, there needs to be this space, you know to have a connection So getting even closer even more vulnerable even with comedy and stuff is a thing that's like how that's one thing I'm watching you on like Jesus Christ. How What part of this dude is even talk like how is this guy? Speaking from the bottom of a fucking wishing well of himself like

Starting point is 01:31:13 Where what like you're and it's like I don't even know what part of me is listening to you. It's like Like it's like a fucking violent baby that likes to fuck And he He's front row and he has no diaper on dude But he's fucking right there and I'm like, where has he been? I didn't know he was in me and then I see couples watching you

Starting point is 01:31:39 And I'm like does louis I almost feel like he marvels at their ride home in the car. Yeah, I do think about that Yeah, that's how I do. How does the what do the groups say to each other? What do two guys say to each other, you know Because there's that that's hard for people to talk about something like that after I think They don't want to be they don't want to be the first to say they liked it or didn't like it Yeah, so people don't like me on in my audience. I can see it. I see faces of people going like This is not cool, man, and they can't I appreciate that they came Like I used to think like why the fuck do you hear then?

Starting point is 01:32:10 Well, because you don't if you need to look at a bunch of faces just loving you But it's interesting to look at people that are just like, you know, and it's interesting to me that they came Because they can't see what goes to something that they don't want to it's like going to a fire but being like kind of like Yeah People do people like to they want to see they want to see that's I think that's different about comedy than music Wow music you're a fan. Otherwise, you don't waste your time But when a comedian gets bigger, I think there are people who are like, well, I want to find out I don't like him or I haven't I don't like what I've heard

Starting point is 01:32:40 Yeah, but and there's also people that I used to have it more but You see that there's people who just came because you're you're you're a name Right, and they really didn't pay attention and some of those people are horrified, you know I mean at the height of my career. I had people I could see people leave because they're like I didn't know he was going to talk about any of this shit, you know And it was weird because the build-up to it is just only people who loved what I did it's a when you get At the first stage of getting notoriety is only devoted fans who love what you do

Starting point is 01:33:13 Telling their friends and that grows exponentially, but it's still people they only tell a friend They know will like it. So you have just a perfect crowd for a while Oh, yeah, but then if you get more popular people start coming because they heard about you You start being more accidentally noticed. Yeah, people want to yell sometimes people just want to come and yell Yeah, they just want to be it a thing. So you're starting to get more kind of like casual fans and they don't and they're not fun They're not into it. Yeah, and it starts getting you feel the way it starts getting heavy You start getting the whole thing gets a little waterlogged. There's I think it happens to every comedian I think and there's a couple a couple a few years of my

Starting point is 01:33:50 Career where I felt like I was starting to get a little shitty because I just wasn't I was losing my bearings, you know That's fascinating, man It really is it's interesting to hear because yeah, I've had experience where it's like you get so many fans and podcasts and help Create that. Um, yeah, and this other alternative world, you know, like because you you had a I mean One thing that you'll be able to say for yourself I think even as a human by the time you get to the end of your life is you've gotten to have almost every experience Do you think so? I think so you've gotten to have a lot of them. Did you What do you mean? I mean, I don't know about all your experiences, but you've gotten to have success

Starting point is 01:34:24 You've had success like in the mainstream version. Yes, and then this other version and I don't want and I'm paraphrasing myself because I don't know exactly what I'm saying, but um This other version of success like kind of in this alternative Vert in this, you know, do it straight to your fans. Yeah straight to consumer um the movie the fourth of july like Dude unbelievable. I was sitting there sending joe list messages like dude. You are so fucking good. He's good, right? Oh, and it just captures who he is. Yeah, it's like how do we get this special piece of joe? That's like

Starting point is 01:35:02 Just so like perfect, you know that was the exercise. Yeah, I mean it was It was awesome. It made me in spot. It just I can't believe you guys nailed the ability to capture everyone But you've gotten to have and we'll talk about uh fourth of july in a second. Um But you have everything now through your website and you can but what has that been like because you had this mainstream success That is very glitzy and glamory and it's like a lot of us chose podcasting because there wasn't that opportunity there So this alternative universe kind of was created. Um What is what has one been like and the other been like? Well, I mean I had first so many years of just struggling, you know, like uh, I started when I was

Starting point is 01:35:44 A just 18. I think the first time I ever did it I was 17 But I started really trying at 18 in 1985. It was a long fucking time. It goes 38 years now But from nine from 1985 and when I was 18 till I was You know, I just was a Boston comedian for years just trying and failing and and uh, and then I moved to New York and I started to get some sense of power but But and I tried writing for tv as a way to make a living because I just wasn't Making it as a comic but as a stand-up I worked until it wasn't really till I was like 40 that I started to really like hit

Starting point is 01:36:21 So I had all those years. So that's like a whole other, you know, right, right people kind of forget about that You know, I wasn't trying to discredit you. No, I don't feel that at all. No, but after that then I had yeah I had this big And the biggest part of it was the stand-up I mean, that's what fueled it all was that I was selling out theaters all of a sudden And they couldn't be big enough like I would double the size and it sell it out I would put a show on sale and it would sell out in a minute and um

Starting point is 01:36:48 And there wasn't a room in the world like there wasn't an indoor space in the world. I couldn't book Like we would me and my agent would talk about where do you want to play like let's go to london Royal albert hall if you feel like it wembley arena. Yeah, any place stone hinge. Yeah, fucking madison square garden Weird amphitheaters and ass mr. McGregor garden Fucking anywhere anywhere. It was crazy. Like I remember I would talk to One point about playing central park, you know, like simon and garfunkel did like it was crazy And then the tv thing, you know, I mean I had that show and it hit But it wasn't like friends or something it wasn't like, you know, I mean it wasn't a network show with a huge reach

Starting point is 01:37:29 There's still a shit ton of people that never saw it. It had pretty low ratings for my show You got a lot of press and awards and stuff and not even as many awards as other shows It wasn't like the office or something right, but I loved the work I loved I was getting to do the show exactly the way I wanted so I had a huge fulfillment that way And yeah, it was weird. I was getting awards and I was at Award shows and stuff like that and I would meet somebody like brad pit and he'd be like, oh Dude and that kind of strange feelings and Um, I'm sure and your ego has to build even if you don't know it the ego so that's right

Starting point is 01:38:05 That's the thing that's you that you got to be careful if you don't know what your ego is doing Your just success is very dangerous Because there's no warning signs on it. There's nothing cautionary about it in the experience You just believe in it You're just like this is all happening because I'm good at this and because it's my time and and here we go And anything good that happens you go. Sure. I'll do that too Yeah, and you just keep letting it load on and you don't think about like you're you're seeing the

Starting point is 01:38:34 American gangster. It's Denzel Washington. Yes There is the that you're watching him quietly build this huge empire and then it's when he goes out in the white Uh fur coat to the fight He goes to a boxing match and white fur coat and then the head cop the Russell Crow goes. Who's that guy? Like and he's not aware that somebody has just kind of waited a minute Who's the guy in the white fur? So when you're like big getting bigger and bigger somebody out there is going like What's going on with that guy that guy's flying awfully high and you you just don't you're not aware of that You just go this just keeps being good. I'll do next year. I'll do 10 shows at the garden

Starting point is 01:39:13 I mean, where does that go? Where do you think that's going like now? I look at it like where do you think that that's headed? Like it just can't things that expand explode right again. Yeah, it's unsustainable for most artists in the world I mean every comedian has that's even gotten that big. There's been some comeback to earth moment every but every Buddy who gets that big right has whatever their vulnerability is whatever their thing is their Achilles heel It's gonna get hit. Yeah, because the world tests you and it's also just more interesting to watch somebody go down It's just part of life life is a zero-sum game, you know Oh, yeah, so but so yeah, but having done stuff like hosting Saturday Night Live like a bunch of times Like that was never that wasn't in my

Starting point is 01:39:58 In my sights like I didn't think these things would happen to me. I had completely really not I completely had given up on those things happening to me. I just admitted to being a writer. You think yeah I thought I'll do I'll never stop doing stand-up. I thought because I love it. It's it's the thing I love But I can write I'm a good writer. I tried making films early and they crashed and burned So I'm like, I'm not gonna be a film director either. Those are the big dreams like direct movies be a comedian I'm gonna do comedy, but no one's ever gonna love it And I'll go down for whatever I was maybe pulling in a few hundred people a night down It'll just diminish and someday I'll have to give it up

Starting point is 01:40:37 And I'll write and that'll be okay. I'll make other people famous make Chris rock famous make Conan You know help other guys get there and there's joy in that I Chris. I love Chris. I love my favorite growing up Yeah, he he astonished me when he came back to stand up after us now and get inspired me a lot And he was he's one of the best friends I've ever had And uh, he was great bought when he was just my boss. I just loved him. He was the greatest greatest guy He used to say like, you know, I'm not it's not about me world because he he hired writers that were all really good And he said we're all the Yankees I'm I'm I'm in the I'm in the cleanup spot, but I'm just the guy who has this one role

Starting point is 01:41:15 But you're all you know, you made us feel like we're all part of it, right? So I liked that work, but I had no I had really decided and I started I had a kid and I was like this is not It's not gonna happen never gonna happen for me And then it's something changed because when I went on stage I just didn't I didn't care anymore about my career So I was and I was really cranky and I was starting to really I went through a new cranky phase And I was a tired father and and I started talking about that and then things Then things changed, you know, did it surprise you better?

Starting point is 01:41:45 Yeah, really it really did shocked me and then when I got the this show on fx The the they paid me the minimum I got paid, you know scale Yeah, and the show had the smallest budget of any show on television But the point was and it was on fx, which was nowhere at the time. I mean they had a few cool shows Yeah, but people didn't know about it. No, so I thought I'm gonna do a show and I'm gonna love it And it's never gonna take off. It's just gonna be a little show My friend Laura Kytlinger had done this show. Yeah called the adventures of Jackie something and Laura's one of the funniest people I knew and she did a nice season on like amc

Starting point is 01:42:20 And I thought that's what I'm gonna do right one season of this weird little show And then I'll go back to then I got another writing job. That's what I figured I had no fx and then we're like, you know, then we're getting on the big lists and then we got Emmy I was totally shocked That that happened Um But then after a few years, I'm like Yeah, this is you know, it's like if you play blackjack, you start winning. You get stupid right away. You're like, I'm good

Starting point is 01:42:46 It's because I'm good at blackjack. Yeah Because I know what I'm doing And then they just then you're busting every hand. You're like, no, I'm a fucking asshole So yeah, I was in a place where I thought like I This is happening because I know what I'm doing now and because I'm earning it Uh, but a lot of it is just so weird. You caught a wave. You caught a wave. It was good timing Yeah, it's interesting how some comedians don't even get the time It's like they're where they're what they're funny is in their lifespan

Starting point is 01:43:11 It just doesn't match with the wave of like where society is sometimes that's right There's some people that are incredible, but they weren't that at the right time That's one of the biggest challenges in comedy is just staying good when nobody's paying attention And continuing to progress because it's like this search light that maybe finds you sometimes And if every time it finds you you're you're getting better and better Then the then someone in somebody in the world will start to go. This guy is a good bet. They'll start putting money on you Yeah But uh, but anyway, then when I when I started to pull in that when it became like total like just nothing fails

Starting point is 01:43:46 Hysteria. Yeah, uh in the road because stand-up was always the most important thing I thought an interesting way to leverage this would be To make a connection with the fans through this website because I could have started taking huge checks from big promoting companies, you know Just those there are tours where they just give you the money first, right? Right. It's like here's seven million bucks or whatever. Yeah, and then we're gonna charge your fans $600 a ticket Right, you know, we're gonna sell and then we're gonna sell those tickets to our own reseller You know to we're gonna make money that way and we're gonna give you they could do stuff

Starting point is 01:44:21 Like we'll give you a jet Verizon's paying for the jet and now you have a Verizon sign above your You know, they have your sponsorships on the tour and and then they load on other comedians that they owe money to That they're trying to burn off the money and you're doing rooms that are just off that they own You know, it's just but it's seven million dollars here. You go. That's what you get for your 30 year climb That's what that's you know, right? Um, but to me it was more interesting to go because I I was interested in like ticket master has all the emails They know those are the glen gary leads they have But if I make a website and sell directly to people and I think about how I don't like buying stuff when they ask

Starting point is 01:44:59 Me for my email. I don't like yeah, I hate it. I don't like belonging to stuff. I don't like joining right I don't want to do that to my fans either No, so we just make it that you just pay the five bucks and it's and five dollars was this like crisp little number And then you have it and I don't care if you fucking share it Don't be a dick and make money on it, but I don't give a shit that much It's never gonna it's not gonna ruin my life of other people share my products, right? And at the time this idea of protecting your product was getting bigger because digital was new, you know and uh

Starting point is 01:45:31 And then I got your email and and and if if you want to give me your email You have to give it to me like we made it hard to give to get on the list So I got this little list that started growing and it just that saved my life because that's I still have that list Is getting bigger and bigger, but it's that's who I go to now Um Has that been do you find more? Do you miss the notoriety of not even a little bit interesting? Not even a slightest true. That's a hundred percent true

Starting point is 01:46:00 I don't miss it. I don't The thing I just do. I mean, I've been touring for three years right right here It's all over the world and big places a lot of my friends have been working with you on and off over the years And I know that for sure But yeah, I guess I was wondering do you miss that Hollywood style kind of notary because that's the two That's the things that that podcasters always miss a little bit. They're not like in this It's so funny to me too because like I have friend like Shane is a buddy of mine Shane yeah

Starting point is 01:46:25 And he's got a you he puts sketches on youtube and hundreds of thousands of people watch them And people worship Shane and he sells out big places and he's having a great time and he's like i'll never get on television Like what the fuck are you talking about? Like what is your problem? Yeah, it's like a guy who invented the telegraph and he's like they'll never let me on the pony express It's like you just killed the pony express What the fuck are you worried about? This has so much more power. That shit is dead and it's still you know, you think about I grew up thinking about the tonight show Oh, that's what everybody thinks about there's no if you could do

Starting point is 01:47:03 Jimmy Kimmel every night for six weeks and kill and you ain't gonna sell one ticket off that Mm-hmm. Nobody's watching comedians and they don't even know where to find you know This this shit It spreads. It's on every it's all over the it's crazy. You have the same bandwidth As nbc abc or any of them. Yeah, and and but the difference is you got something People are never the your fans you have from doing this. They're never gonna let you go You're gonna stay with you Yeah, that's a blessing it is and when you can go to direct

Starting point is 01:47:35 It's just I do stand up now and people come and we have a great time and they pay me And what the fuck else could I possibly want these these are people I care about they went out of their homes I know Fucking got a babysitter and parked somewhere And then sat politely in a fucking seat with strangers and listened to me And gave me a shit ton of money. I mean when I went back to clubs first I'm like, I'm in clubs again. Like that's all that's all I got I thought that might hurt to my that's I didn't know if it would feel like this

Starting point is 01:48:10 But when I first was like the st. Louis funny bone, I remember You know the soda Thing is right next to it going like speeding soda to the bar. Oh, yeah You're in a back room with just soda machines. That was one of the last ones you could smoke in too. Yeah, you could it's still Oh, you can good. They had that early smoking show and uh I was like here I am but I went on stage in that place You know the crowd is just all around you and it's hot you feel a heat like you could see kind of like a

Starting point is 01:48:38 Like steam coming off of them. Oh, yeah, and it's a dump Yeah, you feel like if you just pushed one of the walls hard enough the whole club would fall down Yeah, and uh, and I had a fucking ball. I had such a good time and it was hard work I did like two friday two saturday like the old days And then I got paid and I'm I'm for whatever I am I I can still get 80 90 of the door Yeah, and 80 90 of the door of a comedy club After you know thursday through saturday That's crazy money

Starting point is 01:49:11 Now playing the garden and then the nether arena the next night for 20 nights in a row Is astronomically more but I don't feel that money. I don't need you know what I mean? That doesn't feel like more right It's just like yeah, that's a shit ton of money. It's all gone now because I'm stupid And I because I made movies with it. I make my own stuff with my own money now but that fucking Funny bone check. I was like who needs more than that man. That's and and I'm with comedians. I love I'm choosing my openers. We're having fun together

Starting point is 01:49:43 um And then I called enough money together to make that movie with joe and we don't get you know I don't get written about I'm not you know when I made two specials over the last years and yeah, does that hurt No, it doesn't it really doesn't because A shit ton of people buy them on the site and folks that want I'm back to that place where If you're watching me, it's because you really want to hear this these jokes It's not because you want to like you know See what this means inside the culture or you don't want to you're not trying to climb on to to act cool because you like me

Starting point is 01:50:15 It's just You're into the comedy. Yeah, if you're if you're watching me, you're into the comedy. There's no other reason to do it and I like that and I have My friends in the industry and in my community my I have my real friends I lost a lot but now I have real friends And I love them and and I love their success doing that with joe is a big thing for me because that was his story it was his voice So given a movie to a young guy, you know

Starting point is 01:50:42 Who I just thought was worthy somebody should listen to this guy and I don't think anybody else is gonna make a movie for him so That felt great and it's a small it's a small movies got a small scale, you know, it's not like some like whoa It's just a fucking real story So I got to do that and it's it's inching towards making its money back It's just it's just you know, it it costs a lot because of the pandemic who was oh, that's right to shoot during the pandemic but uh, but no, it's really good It's a and and I

Starting point is 01:51:13 I don't know you can you can have a life like that. You don't have to take every every opportunity I don't think that that hollywood notoriety that membership of that club It's not really good for you. I don't think it it's cool It's a fun trip if you can make the trip if you can get that big. Yeah go on the trip If you can go on some red carpets. Yeah, have fun It's a it's worth experiencing if you can host side of that live Go fucking do it and make the most of it and do your best and try to be yourself try to It's really everybody that has made it and had a real like that like you're saying at the end of life going

Starting point is 01:51:52 I I did all this it's could you stay yourself during it? Because if you're not yourself if you change in order to stay in those places because that's the first thing We'll ask you to do. Oh, yeah, that's what I tried when I got to los angeles Then if you do that then you're not the one experiencing it anymore. You're lost You just not you you became somebody else to do that and then you start getting this weird feeling about that Yeah, that's so interesting I was I've been a part of things where it's like I don't feel like this is me and it's because I wasn't choosing it It wasn't me choosing it. So then of course, it's not going to be me that shows up to it every day

Starting point is 01:52:25 No, that's a fascinating note for anybody next to this could be a relationship a job anything you're in if you're wondering Why something doesn't feel right all the time or doesn't fit or you're not showing up the same way that feels comfortable to you It's because Of that very reason right there. Yeah, because you kind of desire can come from a lot of things It's not always internal. Sometimes it's like I've been told I want this or this feels like this might get me out of where I am this seems like what I should be doing. Yes Or it might be a step that that feels right to me. I've seen other people do that Or or sometimes it's just like maybe this will get me out of my misery. Maybe this will change everything that kind of thing

Starting point is 01:53:03 But the thing you got to ask yourself is is am I being Theo when I take this step forward? Like what would he do because and if it looks so good, but you're like adding me man The you say to yourself. Yeah, but it's okay because I'll take that step and then there'll be another me step past that But there's no more you like if you take one step That's not you right you have nowhere to put the next foot the night. It's not you any way like your yard You're not nowhere, but if you take a step that's like this seems like a bad idea This is hard. Nobody likes this

Starting point is 01:53:38 But it's me man. What am I gonna do then when you take that step the great thing is no matter what comes at you All you got to do is lift your foot and plan it again. You're still you you can you get you through hard times And it'll keep you available for good times As yourself, you know, there's nothing there's nothing else. There's nothing else all that stuff. It's It's got a gross side to it. But if you're yourself again, if you can be yourself in it, you can observe it You can find love there. There's love everywhere So you can find friends and you can find interesting things You know, if you're in an award show there's people working the cameras and stuff and like a lot of them

Starting point is 01:54:16 Where people I knew from like Conan like crew members. So I'd be at an award show going like I shouldn't be here And then I'd see you know a guy like hey, and I go hey, there's love there, you know Yeah, or a weird actor I worked with for some on some a long time ago And he's you know, there is people there. There's you can find a loving and a self path Through anything, but if you depend on if you're like, I don't feel good if every but if I'm not a Hollywood a-lister Mm-hmm. You might as well fucking pack it in that's it's not a good way to live Yeah, man It's just it's so interesting to hear some of that because I've had spots even in the past couple years of my life

Starting point is 01:54:52 Where I chose to do certain things and I'm like, I know this doesn't feel right but I feel like I need to do it for money or I feel like I need to do it for And once I got out of some of that everything has fallen so much more in a place I've gotten my semblance of few man like I just feel like myself more again. It's been pretty fascinating Good When it comes to like love in your life. Has that been a tough thing? I find like as a comedian like I get so analytical about stuff And obviously we were talking a little bit about how like

Starting point is 01:55:21 Getting him into emotional spaces can be like a real You know, that can be like a real It's a real it can be a tough space sometimes for comedians Um, has it been sometimes I noticed even with like Being in love or something like that. I'll like I'll be analyzing it so much It's hard for me to actually be in the feelings. Yeah, because I'm like It's like to be in the feelings you almost have to let go of some control kind of you know And so have you had experiences like that in your life? Has that been kind of tough or what's that kind of been like?

Starting point is 01:55:53 Because I know you've had you've been married and you've been married. Yo, I got two kids That's a different kind of love. It's that's a forever. It's a love you just have It's like you can't choose that was that hard for that because sometimes I fear that like Because love seems so negotiable sometimes. I think because it was like that when I was it felt like that when I was a kid Yeah, that I worry that it's going to be like that if I'm a parent. How is it negotiable when you're a kid? You mean conditional? You mean like it can go away if you don't do the right thing or something. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah, I think like if you don't, uh Yeah, if you're not like

Starting point is 01:56:30 I don't know if you're not something then You don't deserve something, you know or something like that, you know Yeah, I have a dog. You have a dog. Uh-uh. I've got a dog and she's like my wife now like it's me and her, you know and, uh We I made my kids are in my life and we have a great joy, but my dog's with me every single day when I'm home. Oh, wow and, uh I was with my dog once and I smoked a lot. I don't smoke weed very much But I went to Washington Square Park and just bought some weed and it was I think it was a little a little much Oh, yeah, some weed makes people gay even

Starting point is 01:57:08 Makes gay people even gayer I've never seen that. No, but I was uh, I was like Uh getting existential and weird, you know, yeah, but my dog came over and sat with me So I just kind of hang hung on to her and I said to her, you know, you don't have to do anything You don't ever have to do anything. I said, you don't have to worry You don't have to try You don't have to be sorry You don't have to promise

Starting point is 01:57:36 Uh, you don't have to regret all you got to do is sit there and just take the love that's coming at you That's all you got to do is just be And just take the love that's just coming and then I thought I can say that to myself too. I said that's anybody Hmm, you know, I mean if you're willing to just be yourself and just sit there. Yeah, it's it's hard Sometimes you're just alone. Sometimes you're just lonely Sometimes you don't find somebody you don't find Love but once you have kids It's it's a tricky thing with kids too because you want to love them and and then you also got to let them go

Starting point is 01:58:08 You also got to let them depart your life. You got to let them my kids are 18 and 21 now 17 and 21 about 18 a few months But they they start to you know and yet and then it turns into a different everything that takes away from you gives You get another it's a zero-sum game. Yeah, so your kids aren't little, you know holding your hand anymore But you can watch a movie make fun of a movie together, you know, I mean I talk about life and be friends And that's incredible with somebody who you used to wipe her little face, you know And now you're laughing at a fucking shitty movie together and talking about how shitty this movie fucking sucks and cursing together You know, yeah, that's really something. Oh, yeah, I want to curse my fucking kid. Yeah, you need to have kids

Starting point is 01:58:50 I think I think you should have kids. Yeah, and I don't know. I mean the that love with the with a woman with a partner That's a lot harder because you're both armed with self protection and stuff. Yeah, totally And so I think the thing you got to be willing to just be yourself and be yourself and be yourself The thing you got to be willing to just try and fail you have to has to be okay for you That if it doesn't work out because it mostly usually doesn't I think it should be okay with people that you combine with somebody And you try and a bunch of stuff doesn't work and you fuck some and you have fun And you do something exciting like having kids together and then when it's just when it starts to rot you get the fuck out It's okay. Just get out. You're done. Your dad did it. You just get you know

Starting point is 01:59:36 My dad did he let you know my parents broke up Vamanos. Yeah, thank god my parents broke. Yeah Yeah, that's a great point, huh? Sometimes I romanticize things to the point where if the if I were able to look at the reality of it I would see that it's a fucking nightmare, you know But I can't get there sometimes in my head because I get stuck so much in the romanization Well, because your feelings are yeah, your feelings run a lot of your life and you can't reason with them I know it's crazy, isn't it? You can't eat them I don't know

Starting point is 02:00:07 I don't know who the fuck is inside. I don't know. I don't it's a big fucking mystery but uh Yeah, you can't you're in a thing with somebody especially yeah, I don't know it gets easier when you get older Like now when I meet somebody if I'm starting to get romantic with somebody when there's conflict I just go yeah, I can't we don't we don't need to do that. Do we like you get to it quicker Right, then when you're younger you get you start having a Yes, yeah, like you're too you're like playing a battleship where you have a you can't see each other's force Yeah, you're fucking lying you're driving past each other's house

Starting point is 02:00:38 You put a nair in each other's shampoo. I put nair in a girl's shampoo. You did? Yeah, dude. Oh my god fucking pretty awesome Yeah, dude, those are the days because we had to do it And she she still tries to hook up with me You know by the way, there's a bit of yours in that first album that has a pretend you touched on something And a great idea for a bit and you didn't finish it. Yeah, I've heard a few comics do that, you know, uh-huh you're talking about farts And you have first of all you have a take on it. I've never heard what you say. I hate farting I've just never heard anybody say that. Yeah, I hate farting

Starting point is 02:01:14 But at the end of the bit you say toward it to yourself you go we got it We got to get we got to beat him We got to beat farts we got to beat him and you just sort of say it a few times We got to beat him the idea of that there's a cure for farts Fucking hilarious that we need to find a cure Nobody's even thinking about curing farts That's unbelievable isn't it cure for farts That's a great. I mean that to me. That's like I want you to go there

Starting point is 02:01:41 But no, I appreciate it man. Uh, yeah, you had some great you had some cool material about that last night, man Dude, there's so many you don't give me a chance. It's like that's why I'm like do I have to go back and watch it again? Because I don't even have a before I'm processing shit. I'm like so far into the fucking fun house There's like a disabled man eating my ass dude, and I'm trying to fucking order a rube and it's like I Literally don't even know what's going on, dude. Maybe I'm going too fast. Maybe I should go Um, I want I do want to talk about fourth of july man. I'm in recovery. I got like eight months So it was thank you and it so it was nice for me to just see those guys, you know and uh

Starting point is 02:02:23 And just like a part of it that people don't like Like joe's sponsor calling him No worries. Take your take a moment water down the wrong pipe Isn't that crazy man? Yeah, and water tries to like fuck our lungs. I know you can die Oh, yeah, if you get him a lot. Well, I mean, it's what it feels like. Yeah, it's really every all the comfort you have that you're alive you can just squeeze this little Put a little bit of water like it's probably this much water

Starting point is 02:02:54 And it's like I'm dying. I'm dying Dude, if I have tuna fish because a lot of times if you know when you're coming up You have to cook in your hotel room in the you know, yeah, yeah, so I'd mix like tuna and stuff in a Hot plate or something. No, just in a styrofoam cup. Okay, and then um But if I had gatorade electrolytes and tuna my throat would shut down. I didn't know. Oh really some crazy reaction so Yeah, one time I I was fucking losing I called 911 and I'm losing it. It was the first time that it happened I got really scared and I went up to this

Starting point is 02:03:24 uh Not a matri-d. What's a lady that helps clean the room clean the hotel Definitely not a matri-d. Yeah, what is it? You mean the maid? It's like the cleaning lady, you know, whatever. Yeah, or maid. Yeah um I went up turn on like fucking You know trying to do like this, you know and gatorade, you know Tell her what it happened like fish and gatorade. Oh bro, and I remember putting Literally putting my fingers my throat and fucking holding it open enough so I could breathe like wow, but it's just when that pipe

Starting point is 02:03:54 It's like the littlest thing man. Oh man, you're gone. That's why waterboarding works I'll you just you could go like this and I like I'll tell you everything forget it Um, the movie was so great Can I ask you just as a how much does it cost to make a movie like this? And how you said it was more during the pandemic way too much, okay? It was like something like two million bucks. Okay, that movie shouldn't have cost that much But there's two reasons one was the pandemic because that just it was like 30 percent more everything costs 30 percent more

Starting point is 02:04:23 Right And then the other thing was that I was coming back to I hadn't filmed anything in a long time And because the pandemic had happened and I just wanted to really enjoy it I wanted to really make a movie and not worry about it low low budget movie It just means you're dragging your balls on the gravel and it's just Every single single thing you do is hard and everybody around you is stressed out because nobody's getting paid enough And you're working bad hours and stuff. I just didn't want to do it I just wanted to like so we we did a comfortable version of it still was very low budget

Starting point is 02:04:54 That's still very low for fourth of July movie. You sorry. Yeah. Yeah, but uh But and also we shot in this house That that that was the heart the biggest expense probably was the house because we had to find I couldn't make the movie unless that house was the exact right kind of Law roomy log cabin had to be on a lake and it had to be in a place that felt like Maine It was actually in upstate new york on lake george And that was a and a place that's willing to be rented as a house So we the place there's like a list usually of location people that put themselves out there as were available

Starting point is 02:05:28 Mm-hmm. None of them worked. So I had to have a guy The location guy is a guy named Jeff Karen From louis from my series and I went to him and asked him to do it and he said I don't do that anymore I'm retired like he has a whole other life And I just begged him and he came out at retirement just just for me So he because he had to just go Real estate listings and go hit the fucking bricks all over like northern america, you know And go to people's doors and knock on them and say are you willing to be location that kind of cold calling?

Starting point is 02:06:01 It was very hard to find the right place and then once we found the place that was willing They could have double the price. We still would have paid it because so it cost a lot and and then we put Lake george is in this little town where it's really expensive. So every there's no hotel So we had to find housing. We had to find like basically vacation homes for the whole cast and crew and That was the huge is anyway. It's a long explanation, but it's a lot. It shows how much goes into all that Yeah, a movie like that should you should be able to make it for under a million bucks. It's it's so it's just people talking It's pretty simple. I mean we shot in new york city, too, which is expensive So for the first like 30 minutes of the movie

Starting point is 02:06:39 Um, but there's a lot of ways there's so many cameras now that are as good a sensor as any other camera And the great lenses of the world you can rent and everything else is rentable and there's people that have film equipment who are dying to use it now because they overbought and And uh, you can usually pull I mean the unions are are strict and you have to use union crews most of the time So if you're really trying to make a movie with like a you know Carpentry department and electrical and and grips and everything. Yeah, it's hard to keep the costs down a bit But if you just do with your friends with a camera you could do it for whatever cost to rent the clothes and you know Yeah, it's interesting once you go over that union line once you get into like that when once somebody calls their agent you're fucked

Starting point is 02:07:23 That's right. Yeah, it's just the way it is. Yeah, it's expensive um It was it. Yeah, man. I just thought it was incredible that moment I don't want to give it away really but there's a nice moment where the dad comes into the room With joe. Yeah, uh, yeah with the phone Yeah, it's funny because he's so subtle. Well, he had a whole speech that he gave. Oh, you didn't take it out Yeah, that was the kind of like the point of the whole movie was that he gives this speech That's what I was kind of way. I was waiting for that a little but then I just accepted

Starting point is 02:07:57 That it was just yeah, it was weird because we did so When we wrote it it was all about this dad even though he says nothing through almost the whole movie He's totally silent and it and joe and his mom are just at loggerheads And uh, she runs the family and he's trying to Become an individual but be loved by her and it's impossible. She said withholding like your mom sounds like she was Didn't know how to love, you know So he's dealing with that but you just see once in a while we go to these shots that are just quiet private shots of the dad Like not knowing how to deal and joe has a big anxiety disorder that we kind of portray through weird filming

Starting point is 02:08:35 And at one point we show that the dad also has yes. Oh, I didn't catch that. I did but I didn't Yeah, like he's kind of like an undiagnosed older guy with he's got an anxiety disorder But nobody told him, you know, nobody told that generation that there was like a thing wrong with him So he's dealing with that and then and then at the end when joe feels like he's kind of figured stuff out He comes in and says this thing and it was this speech where he says He starts trying to he's struggling to talk because he doesn't he's because he's an anxious guy He's socially anxious And he starts telling him about he was he said when I played football

Starting point is 02:09:10 Um, I was a lineman in high school and we were playing Brockton high and he tells the story about seeing the Quarterback and that he could sack him and win the game But uh He hesitated and the guy lofted the pass overs had and but he didn't the past missed anyway And then he's about to kind of make his point in the phone rings And he gives up So he gets he gets through the story, but doesn't doesn't make his point

Starting point is 02:09:40 But we we played it that way and it just felt I believed in it so much when we shot it when he was the guy who was acting it Bob Walsh, we were all crying everybody was crying Joe was crying everybody was it was like this is the thing but then you watch the whole movie you go I don't want to fucking listen to this bullshit It's just stupid and also so much had happened and so much there were we just want to get there So I try to version where he comes up and says hey the phone rings and he goes never mind And for some reason that got all of the emotional that got far more people watch that and they cry

Starting point is 02:10:15 And uh, so yeah, sometimes you just it's what you don't a lot of times in movies It's what you take anything you can take out and leave a blank A space where like this almost feels like there's a mistake. There's a weird emotional reaction to that Yeah, I got that the dad was like oh, here's a woman that cares about you. So you need to take that Yes, and he and that was him he did that I mean the line is that's your wife, but he pointed at it and he made a thing of it That's your wife. You should take that Yeah, there's a lot of meaning in that moment

Starting point is 02:10:43 And I don't the thing I love about making movies is is that I don't really know what the movie's about The story just kind of comes to you and you sort of it's almost like you're taking dictation Like I guess this is what happens It just makes you you try to write it as involuntarily as possible And then as you make the movie and you get to sit there and watch the shit happen You go fuck. This is what that means. That's why that Happened like you start to learn about it as you make it. Yeah, and sometimes actors get lost and you can as a director help Them by talking about that. I think this is what he's trying. I don't know

Starting point is 02:11:17 And sometimes they know and you don't it's fucking it's like it's like if you could do that with life like deconstruct life and Have all the dialogues between your family members in front of you, but just watch as a spectator. Yeah But I never feel like it's like about controlling it or saying you got to do this You just learn you learn through it, you know, yeah, and when it's comedy when it's funny in it You know, it was yeah, I found it fascinating. I love the the sponsor calling it fucking with the dumb lines He's like, oh, this is fucking retarded But it's the shit you need to hear that keeps you in a fucking comfortable repetition of like, okay This is what I do every day. This is how I get through the day. Okay through it. Yeah

Starting point is 02:11:56 Yeah, and Joe really wanted it was important to him because I'm not an AA guy, but um, he It was important to him to have it not be A typical a movie where somebody always falls off the wagon Yeah, and they get back on and it's very earnest and it's all just how terrific AA is He wanted to show that it's a pain in the ass when a guy talks too long and that somebody always complains Like I wouldn't shut up. Yeah, and uh, and that when you get a spon see it's awkward. It's fucking it's not It's not lovely. It's like, what am I gonna say to this fucking guy? I don't even like this guy

Starting point is 02:12:31 Dude, there's a guy that I met years ago at a meeting. I don't even know who he is He calls me fucking once every week, dude, and I thought I have no idea what he looks like I have no fucking clue, dude, and he drives me absolutely insane, but every now and then I'm in a low moment or a high moment or whatever And I'll fuck you, you know and half the time I take the call. What's going on, you know, I don't know That's interesting that whole world's interesting. Um What was it like so just real quick out you you worked with Joe Rogan when you were young, right? When you were younger. Do you guys both start in boston?

Starting point is 02:13:04 Yeah, we both started in boston at the clubs and he was like a handsome this guy Yes, he was. Yeah. I mean Joe's still a handsome guy, right? I loved Joe And uh, but I was there any like Because now if you're like a handsome comedian people are like, oh, fuck this guy Yeah, because you can't have it all. No, handsome doesn't help you on stage. Yeah Was it like where people like that against like whenever he was starting out? Do you think? Well, I remember when he I was I started maybe a couple years before him So I was starting to feel like, you know

Starting point is 02:13:33 established or in that little boston scene And then this guy he started with guys like Greg Fitzsimmons and him came up. Yeah, they're still really close. Yeah And there was a few other guys Robbie Prince. He might have been after But these guys were like new they were the first new guys I was aware of Oh, yeah, I had been a new guy for a couple of years And so now these were new guys to me So I was probably threatened by them whatever But I do remember feeling like Greg Greg was you know, he's an irish kind of like he's not as handsome

Starting point is 02:14:03 No, he's not. No. Yeah, but not in fact that he was more handsome. Yeah, Greg's like a bookie fucking like cousin of a bookie handsome Yeah, exactly. Yes But uh, Joe It wasn't just his looks. It was just he had this confidence. Yeah, and he's from I we grew up in the same town I'm from Newton, Massachusetts. He grew up there too. Okay. So I went to Newton North High School He went to Newton South both public schools, but his was kind of Fancy or they're like kind of richer kids. I kind of thought of him as this like Newton South Tan he was so tanned. Oh, he looked the dude looks great. Yeah, and he was just like dude like he didn't he didn't talk like a comic

Starting point is 02:14:40 He just he just said what the fuck? And he talked about fucking chicks and he talked about being getting being hot and getting laid or whatever And he and uh, I could see that he had a power on stage But yeah, I was threatened by him because he was like a good-looking guy a couple years younger than me started after me Who was getting some attention? Yeah And uh, so on stage I would be like what is what's with this guy? But that's how I mean nick de polo started a year after me and we didn't like we were like rivals We didn't like each other at all because we were both like new guys were getting big laughs

Starting point is 02:15:12 But then we we're very good friends. Yeah, he's in the movie. Yeah. Yes The funny I didn't even know that that was him until the end. I'm talking to someone. Yeah Oh, he looks very different. Yeah, he looks different and not and then Nick. Yeah somebody's like that thing and I was like Oh my god, that's where I knew it for about but uh Man, but but joe was and uh, but then I got to know him and I really liked him And he was he was a fascinating guy. He was a taekwondo like black belt champ. He's like a champion athlete and uh We taught we would talk about

Starting point is 02:15:44 Fighting and life and stuff and I just liked him I as soon as I got to know him I liked him and then I started watching Like any comedian you first see me go. What what was so great about him? I mean when you're younger, but I watch and then I go then I started to really respect what he And most of what he got good after I knew him Because he was still just new and raw and he was I felt he was killing because he was there is a level where you can The girls like you right? He was also fucking every weight every hot weight. He was getting all the How are you supposed to like a guy like that?

Starting point is 02:16:17 But but personally one-on-one. I really did like him a lot and then I started I don't want to fuck them, but I would have fucking stood by watching me put your hand on the back Yeah, a little a little of this with Joe Rogan not bad. Yeah, but he was also Interesting as a guy and not Typical some guys who are handsome are trapped by that, you know But he was an interesting dude and then when he went on and and I'd hear his stand-up I I was like that's he's working and he's good and I liked his stand-up Um, and then he we had kind of a cross roads thing because he did that thing with

Starting point is 02:16:56 Carlos Monsea where he outed him for steel. Yeah, which however you feel about that But that it was his he was very He's adamantly about it and then his agency Gersh told him if you don't dump If you don't stop if you don't apologize to Carlos We'll dump you and that was my agency was Gersh And so he'd let them go and I heard that and I was like that's crazy

Starting point is 02:17:20 And I called him and we didn't we hadn't talked in a long time But I contacted him to say I need to hear from you if that's a true story and he said a hundred percent Wow, they called me and they said Apologize or you're out of the agency And that's all I needed to hear I called them and I said not you're not my agents anymore What if I have an argument with another comedian? What are you fucking nuts? Yeah, you can't do that So I dumped them and Then I got started to know that side of Joe

Starting point is 02:17:49 That's like he believes what he believes he goes by it whether it's kind of hurt him or not And I've always known him that way. We just would run Our friendship has been like running into each other in the parking lot of this comedy store and talking for a couple hours About life and that's most of comedians. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah people always ask what he's like He's one of the most genuinely curious guys I ever met Yeah, like he has like any of that. He just retains information so well And people are always like a lot of you podcasts are guys you guys suck Rogan's dick, you know, you know that kind of stuff No, you like them and he's like number one. Yeah, and he's good at it

Starting point is 02:18:21 Yeah, it's like you want to look you're like you want to learn and look up and like not emulate but you There's a certain homage especially in a space where guys like him and maren and some other guys, you know But even you even putting your stuff on your website for five dollars early on that was like It was a pioneers type of move. A lot of people were like that's guys. That's crazy. Yeah, I was kind of new at the time I mean, it only works if you have your fans already It doesn't help you get fans, right? So a lot of I knew some comics did it after me and they're like, I'm gonna do it But they didn't I worked for me because I was swelling. I was starting to get the shit ton of right. You had a fan base Yeah, yeah, but it doesn't help you gather. It's the thing and I do think that to some degree because I don't have that

Starting point is 02:19:04 Allure in the media attention as much It's get sometimes it feels like it's getting it's just wearing down a little bit, you know, because it's just me and them Right. So getting new people it doesn't come as easily But I that's such an easy thing to accept Also, I'm 55. I mean how many more years am I gonna be alive? You know let alone working Yeah, it's not like I need it to just keep piling up and getting bigger. But um, I mean you've got I mean you got You've gotten it. I mean You've gotten to be that big

Starting point is 02:19:33 Yeah, exactly. You don't need to stay big. That's crazy and it's all kind of high. It's all this mythological type of thing It's all this, you know, it's like that whole business. It all kind of is works together It's like the age and his friends with the press guy. It's all this Yeah, and once somebody gets big then then there's this crazy rush towards them because they're big and people just go I guess I like him too, but that never lasts and It's like going to space. You just got to be able to come you just come back down and you land in a lake And you land in a lake and then you're left with whatever amount of fans you have and that's your cruising altitude Yeah, and that because everybody has that trajectory and then you don't hear about them, but they're out there touring

Starting point is 02:20:14 You know pearl jam isn't at the Grammys anymore, right? But they're fucking selling out whatever size place they want to they're just in that, you know, they're you get your orbit Um, if you're lucky and not everybody gets to have that. Yeah I mean motley crew was one of the like brought in one of the most monies last year. I read somewhere right which blew my mind Yeah, nobody's talking about motley crew, but the fact that they're yeah, they stay busy. There's a lot of there's a lot of work out there But also I don't I think I mean, I don't know that's why the show at the garden and I'm doing And I'm live streaming and it's all sold 28th. Yeah, so the show that I think we've got about 500 tickets left But it's like 19,000 right, but also you can buy you can you can purchase it online

Starting point is 02:20:53 And we'll put the link in this video and we'll also make sure that um We run an ad that week if we don't if this doesn't come out that week. We'll run an ad that week for the show Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, for sure. It's exciting But that to me is like a way to like say Kind of a one more and goodbye to that to that level. Hmm Uh, and then I'm probably gonna take a break for a while. I think I might take a year or more off And not perform for a while. I want to feel what light feels like with that. I haven't done that since I was 18 I haven't stopped

Starting point is 02:21:21 So your show was one of the first shows I'd seen since maybe the first time that I'd seen comedy that I'd went to and stood In line and went to see comedy. Yeah Wow That's it's rare. I don't haven't done that in a long time myself. It was so core mcdonald's last guy I went to bought a ticket and sat and watched Um a few years ago. Who's great. Yeah, great great great. And actually I just remember I lied to you. I saw bob newhard Oh, yeah, where'd you see him? I saw him in chicago at the chicago theater. No, shit Yeah, and he was telling jokes and I was like, oh, these are just jokes that he fucking read off the internet

Starting point is 02:21:50 Oh, no, but then I realized no the jokes were just such old baked in the society. He had fucking created them. Oh, yeah, of course Of course, they're all him. Yeah, I'm like, wow. These are just shitty internet jokes. And then I'm like, oh, he fucking made these up I met him once he was with don Rickles Wow And uh, they were at a restaurant I was at and the two of them and their wives were sitting and and uh one of their wives Or somebody came from that table over to me and said don would like to say hi to you So I walked back to the table and don had his back to me and he goes

Starting point is 02:22:25 He's not coming over here. Is he that fucking piece of shit's not coming over. Oh, hi Like he did a thing and he just starts shitting on me. He's like, look at you. What is this you fat? How fucking old are you? What are you? What good are you? And I'm just low You know, I just feel great and bob's got this huge beaming smile on his face because he can see that his friend is happy Yeah, and uh, and I just stood there and took a beating For about 10 minutes and just you know and said hello to the ladies and I honored them, you know, bob, you're the best Don you're the best and then don kind of took my he was very old It was like a few months before he died. I think wow he took my

Starting point is 02:23:01 shirt and pulled me down and he said Don't let him forget me Please don't let people forget me who I was Did he really? Yep, and he said it really earnestly Wow, isn't that something? Yeah Yeah Anyway, nobody remembers who that is We know yeah, we know

Starting point is 02:23:20 Yep, but that's yeah, it's wild that it all goes back into the sauce man. Uh-huh It all goes back into the fucking. Yeah, whatever you're able to do. Everybody's gonna forget all of it all of it I feel like we got to keep a little of it That's why I don't want to be cremated Do when I see people are getting cremated. I'm like, you're a fucking because what if even a little bit of you was alive, you know Huh? Yeah You think you that body might still be alive if you have eight cells left you have billions of fucking cells

Starting point is 02:23:48 Uh-huh fucking 30 cells left and they're like you think that's gonna be you like that's you I think it has some recollection It has some memory of yeah, I think it holds why does it need to Stay alive you feel like it needs to as long as you can hang in there Yeah, and then you're like, oh fuck i'm getting grilled like this is the absolute worst So you're gonna get buried. I think buried straight into the ground, you know Actually, you know, I used to want to get shot out of a cannon into like a schoolyard And the first kid to touch my dick fucking wins wins all my money

Starting point is 02:24:17 That's not bad That's not bad There's places you can get buried right in the ground without a box like main I think you can throw a body in the ground anywhere you want in the state of main Yeah, there's not too many good. I don't want to believe with some few more chicks around though. I think yeah. Oh, yeah I don't really have any wishes for after really. Yeah Yeah, I I want to leave that up to my kids because they'll be the ones that have to experience it What do you think they'll do? I don't know. It depends on how I do. Yeah

Starting point is 02:24:45 It's up to me It's all up to us, uh, louis. Okay anything else guys you wanted to ask that? Um, yeah last question I saw fourth of july in theaters and a lot of the people were I feel like their reaction was how hype they were to see comedians in A movie like actual comics in a movie. Yeah, what other comics do you want to see in movies? Oh, shit, uh You'd have a project or something. I wrote a movie with a friend of mine That i'm gonna try to make next year

Starting point is 02:25:17 But it's really twisted weird movie and it's probably gonna be too expensive. So I may not get to make it But we're gonna try I don't know if there's any comedians in that one. I like I mean, you know, why I always thought would be a good dramatic actor It is tim heidecker. You know who he is Tim and eric. Yeah Tim heidecker is I saw him. I was in london It's how crazy my life was I had just made a movie which never came out

Starting point is 02:25:44 And I went to london because I did the music at abbey road studios I was just I was like I was telling him before I was shitting money then I was just now. I was just shit. Shit's right at the time. I shit money and I had made this movie and I had a composer because I wanted to do an orchestral score Yeah, and he said, okay, we can get a great orchestra a really great orchestra for like 150 000 bucks They'll be the best in any any movie you've watched recently would have this orchestra or we can go to abbey road And get the best players in europe like the best players of at every instrument for 300 000

Starting point is 02:26:22 And I was like, it's just a check bro. Fuckin. Yeah, let's get go. Let's go and I went to abbey road and we recorded music With a full orchestra. It's the fucking sickest thing. It's it's like I was a coke addict It was a really crazy thing to do Yeah, but anyway while I was there tim heidecker was playing at the soho theater So I just went to watch him and he was wearing this Leather jacket that was uh, you know like a leather blazer Yeah, and he had his hair slick back and he's just he's a very you don't know where he's coming from guy Yeah, just being really weird and sarcastic but seeming real at the same time and I was riveted by his show

Starting point is 02:27:00 He got a few laughs. He wasn't he's not like a killer comic because he doesn't try to be But I thought that guy would be a really I'd like to see him kill somebody in a movie. I like to see him Yeah, he's got a gasey vibe Gasey, yeah a little bit. I think he could do something. I could think he could scare the shit out of somebody in a movie Yeah, that's when I look at comedians. I look at that. There's guys that you you go. That guy's gonna get me laughs I won't make a movie without bobby kelly probably ever. He's just the greatest face in a movie nictopolite These are just the guys who I just go like he's got to be in it. Yeah um

Starting point is 02:27:32 Bobby's a sweet guy a laura kightlinger who I mentioned before I'd love I'd love to see her in a movie someday still She's just she was in a sitcom. I did for one season and she was great Um, there's a lot a lot of people. Hey, you captured. I mean you just yeah I I mean I just yeah, I love 4th of July and you guys can all check it out. You can subscribe You can January 28th is the special. Yeah, it's 25 bucks to just watch it live You get to watch for 10 days and it's what I saw last night. Yeah same show. Wow. Yeah Fuck We might we might buy it. I hope so. Well, you can have it for

Starting point is 02:28:05 We'll buy it We'll buy it man. Um, Louis. Thank you so much, man. Thanks for having me. Yeah, it's fun. I was really fun Yeah, me too, man. It's interesting. I don't like podcasts. They're too serious And everybody talks about, you know, their view on life Yeah, and everybody talks about the same fucking shit. It's just the same four subjects We've been talking about since like 2012 And it's really boring. I feel like we talked about those the comedy jerk and all yeah a little bit But those that's real life. We talked about real life. Yeah, I enjoyed the hell out of it. Oh, thank you, man

Starting point is 02:28:36 I did too, man. This was a real honor and once again a year's hysterically funny comic Which sweetie, I hope that you focus on stand-up. I know this is good But I hope that you stay on stage a lot because if you only been doing it for 18 years You're not even there yet. I mean, if that's how good you are now Then if you keep the stand-up being number one and when you get to about 22 years or so You're gonna be unstoppable So I hope you do

Starting point is 02:29:06 Thank you, man. Yeah, I hope to yeah, I think that's where I'm at right now figure not kind of how to evolve. You know, good Thank you very much, Louis CK. Now, I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take

This Past Weekend - E425 Louis C.K.

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