This Past Weekend - E441 Glenny Balls

Starting point is 00:00:00 It's the NBA playoffs, that right, that right, and that mean big hoops action with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. Download the app now and sign up with the code Theo. New customers can make a $5 pre-game moneyline bet and score $150 in bonus bet if their team win, only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code Theo. I have some new tour dates to announce. I will be in Phoenix, Arizona on April 30th at Arizona Financial Theatre. That'll be the biggest show I've ever done now. Austin, Texas on June 10th at the Bass Concert Hall. Guilford, New Hampshire, June 20th, July 20th, I'm sorry, at the Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion and Wenzor, Ontario on August 18th at the Coliseum at Caesars, Wenzor and Niagara Falls, Ontario on August 20th

Starting point is 00:01:09 at the Fallsview Casino. Those tickets are available now. Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Thank you for getting tickets through there and nowhere else. Praise God. We got new merch. Check out that root beer hoodie. If you want that ice cold hitter, baby, you want that one that just damn, God, it puts Antarctica in your throat. And that four-piece enamel pin set. Check them all out and thank you for the love at theovonstore.com. Today's guest is an entertainer. He's that ravioli baby. He's everything, dude. He's a damn, he's Super Mario's second cousin who runs a bakery low-key. You know what I'm saying? He's that beautiful man in Italian and we're going to learn more about him. You know him from Barstool. He's that side slurper,

Starting point is 00:02:07 that lactose monkey on the edge of Sunday Conversations. And he is also the host of his Only Stans show where he interviews only fans, content creators. This is our first time really getting to know each other. I'm grateful for his time. Today's guest is Glenny Balls. Balls, baby. Good to see you, man. I'm very excited to be here. This is exciting. Yeah, is it? So people say, Glenny, they say, Balls. What are they? Gee, Balls. Dude, it's a lot of Glenny. It's a lot of Glenny. I prefer Balls. People call me Mr. Balls. I like that. Got a lot of Glenderman Balls. It's a very easy word to play on, Glen or Balls.

Starting point is 00:03:17 But I kind of like Balls. Yeah. Yeah, I grew up with Glen, though, so I'm still getting used to Glenny. Really? So, Glen, are you a family name? Are you like a Balls of the Fifth or something? My dad's name is Glen, actually. All my dad and his brothers are all Gs. Greg, Gary and Glen. So I'm a junior. Oh, wow. So you, and is that like a tradition? What kind of family are you guys? Italian. I don't think it's necessarily a tradition, though. Yeah. But I don't know. Maybe my grandparents just said, fuck it, we're all going to do Gs. My grandpa's name was Greg, too. So then my uncle Greg was a junior. It's all Gs. A lot of Gs. Yeah. It's G thing. Oh, I like that. Yeah. And I wonder if G is like a power letter or something.

Starting point is 00:03:56 What's a good power letter? Like if you had to run in a room and like, say there's a fire or something, right? I would say M. M. Yeah. Something about it right in the middle. Yeah. Don't worry. I'll get us the rest of the way. Something like that. M kind of, when you get through the alphabet, you're like JKL. You're like shit's getting weird and you're like M. Off the top of my head, I'm saying M, like a T. A T feels strong to me. Yeah. T feels pretty strong, doesn't it? Yeah. Cause it also has that look where like, okay, you can put something on top of me. I got this. M kind of has like four legs almost. You're like, we're going to get there. 100%. B's got the tits, though. Why? Why? Cause like, yeah,

Starting point is 00:04:36 it looks like two tits, but something about B doesn't do it for me. I feel like I want like a big straight line, like a T on top or that quite a domey thing like the A has. Yeah. The A is kind of a, say A is like a. I can't lie. I look at G and I think of G as kind of a beta letter. G, P, Y, U. None of those seem good to me. Y is definitely, yeah. It almost seemed like at the end of the alphabet, things got very, like they didn't know what things got a little, I don't want to say trans at the end of the alphabet, but it got very, like we're doing something. Something's happening. They just kind of said fucking at the end. There's five straight consonants. Yeah. Five consonants.

Starting point is 00:05:19 You don't want to see five straight consonants. Yeah, they did, man. What's going on, man? Good to see you, bro. Yeah, I'm excited. I don't think I've seen you in a while. Well, those last time I saw you at that Titan's game, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a good time. Yeah. Well, you guys were in the like a sweet box or something. Yeah. I think it's like, I guess it's like the influencer suite they have there. Yeah, which feels weird to say. Well, they had anybody that was an influencer to them and it was in Tennessee. And so you have anybody that like people that like you have somebody from Remington shot, you know, you have very much like, you know, you have like people that deal with 4-H and Anna Malia in there.

Starting point is 00:05:55 You have like country singers, you know, it's, it has more of a Southern kind of Western gamut they have out there. Yeah. I think that day, like the VP of Hattie B's was in there. I think Gary Clark Jr. was in there that day. It was Gary Clark Jr. He's like a blues singer. Oh, really? Yeah. I think Gary Clark Jr. was there. I was doing Tim Day to say hi to him, but I think it was Gary Clark Jr. Oh, I think he was. Yeah. He was sitting at the table to the right with his pals. Yes. Yes. Oh, I remember. You were probably wondering who it was because he has that vibe. Yeah. That's someone and I finally figured out it was Gary Clark Jr. But he seemed like he didn't want to be bothered. So I didn't go talk to him. Yeah. I couldn't tell if it was like maybe like Sidney

Starting point is 00:06:31 Portier or if it was maybe Leon Kravitz or whatever, you know. So I didn't know, but I remember meeting him. He's a nice guy. Yeah. What else, man? Oh, I heard you said you guys were talking earlier about when I walked in, you and the producer, Zach, were talking about going to like a kitchen or something. Oh, yeah. So yesterday we were in LA. We had a free day because like I said, our shoot was super late last night. We shot at like nine, 10 o'clock. Right. And you guys were shooting Sunday conversations. So for people that don't know, Glennie is the bat is the side kick, the background dancer for Caleb Presley's Sunday conversation. And he works with Barstool. Barstool. Yes, sir. Yeah. So I just sit there and eat the ice cream and try to make the guest awkward.

Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah. You've done it. Yeah. We had fun. But yeah, no. So yesterday we just had a free day and I was telling your producer that I just set up a few of the chefs I know here and they just want to take me to lunch. And that's like one of my favorite things. I just love hanging out with chefs. I find it so cool as a guy that obviously enjoys food. I enjoy food more than just eating it. Like I just I love the whole idea of culinary shit and food. So they took me to the Beverly Hills cheese shop went like the back room like in good fellows put on some like classic Italian music. They just brought us out a bunch of these cheeses imported from Italy imported from Italy. Look at the next one. Look at the table. Look at the back room. That was the back room. Oh,

Starting point is 00:07:45 so there's a back room. It was a back room full experience brought us out a few pronies, played a cheese, some sun-dried tomatoes and stuffed cherry peppers. Oh, like this low moisture mozzarella. They just made buffalo mozzarella straight from Italy. They said it lands in LAX every Tuesday. So we kind of got the shitty one. It was a Monday, but it was still great. You got the end of the week buffalo mozzarella, but buffalo mozzarella is kind of like that one thing. Even when it's bad, it's good. It was fantastic. And where did they find it from buffalo? They said no, no, they find it from Italy. Oh, wow. They use buffalo milk in Italy. That's why it's like buffalo mozzarella. Oh, and so it's oh, it's out of the buffalo animal.

Starting point is 00:08:20 Yes, sir. Like the milk they use is from buffalo milk. So that's like, so if you're getting mozzarella from Italy, it's most of the time, buffalo mozzarella, not what you would envision just straight fresh mozzarella is here. Yeah. Oh, I thought somebody was milking Dawson Knox up there or something, you know. Don't be a good looking piece of cheese. It wouldn't be bad, right? So you take, so they, now how does that even work? So I never, you get hooked up with like a lot of back room. You, so you go into the back or like who comes out? Is it like the, the top? Like the cheese monger. He's a monger. Yeah. Yeah. So that's

Starting point is 00:08:54 what happens. So what is a monger? Let's look it up, Zach. I believe it's cheese monger because that's only from watching. It's always sunny in Philadelphia. Charlie's dad was a cheese monger. Because cheese monger is somebody that would die for cheese, right? I think this man would die for cheese. This guy, Dom, we were with yesterday, he would definitely die for cheese. He would take one on the cheek for cheese. Yeah, emergency specializes in cheeses. Okay. And what's a monger just overall, because they have a war monger I hear of all the time. Yeah. Sounds something like my goalie and maybe. Yeah. What's just a monger? I could say that getting his con, but you know, a monger. Like a broker or a dealer of something. Okay. Oh, a monger. Yeah. I guess that's why he's

Starting point is 00:09:30 a cheese monger. I guess it deals cheese. So, okay. So you get there, the guy comes out. Yeah. So great chef Aaron May, but as we met Aaron May there, and then the guy came out and met Aaron, and then Dom came out, met Aaron, and they just said, let's go in the back. And then they literally brought us in the back like we were in Goodfellas, set up plates, forks, knives, plates for us, brought us out of Peronis, brought in these cheese plates. And I'm a first-hand chovy. They brought out apparently this, this fantastic, fantastic, and chovy straight from Italy as well. Was it alive when they brought it out or not? It was not, it was in a can. It was like a little tiny aluminum can. But I equated it to my first time golf. My first time on a golf course was

Starting point is 00:10:04 Pebble Beach. And I told them, I told them yesterday, that's what this was like, because I'm having an anchovy imported from Italy, first anchovy, instead of on a shitty pizza. So the anchovy was damn good. Put a little anchovy on bread, a little buffalo mozzarella, some dark tomato on it. And then, oh, they had imported olive oil from Italy. It was, it was, it was immaculate time. That's some more. It was immaculate, dude. Hey, if you're ever in a lane, you want to go, we'll go. Yeah, man. I can't. I don't get offered things like that. It must be, because obviously, I guess people assume that you have, you enjoy food. I very much do. And not in a, not in a stereotypical fat guy way. Right. Like I don't, this may shock you. I don't need, like, I don't eat too much

Starting point is 00:10:49 fast food. Right. It's not like I'm going home and pounding Burger King every day. It's just, I appreciate good food. Yeah. Good food is, is the best. It is good, man. I think, I, yeah, I grew up on just really not good food, right? Yeah. So I think there was no appreciation for food. Exactly. I'm not in the same way. Like I never grew up like going to insanely nice steakhouses and whatnot, but even, I mean, there's also bad food. That's fantastic as well. I was talking to a coworker in mine last week, Kate. She was saying she grew up always in the, the very, very thin pork chops that once you cook them, they're like, you could see the white bubbles of fat pop up on them. Those are pretty damn good. Oh, yeah. I don't mind them. They're weird.

Starting point is 00:11:26 It is interesting how they have that fat bubble. Fat bubbles. The fat's bubbling. I'm taking it. It's, it's the cheap pork chops, but they do the job. Hmm. Yeah. I'm trying to think of something else that we, oh, you know what was big when I was young? Uh, fish sticks. Really? You ever do fish stick? I never did. I never did. Maybe I don't know. That was maybe Louisiana thing. There was more fish sticks by you, but I'm also, I also grew up by the water too, but I never dabbled in a fish stick. What is it? I guess, theoretically, just a, what about a warm clam or something come across the table? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never, never home. I don't know if I can, one time I tried to make clams in my house and it was a massive failure. Yeah. You have to, because you really

Starting point is 00:12:03 have to wait to make sure if they're alive or not. If they don't, um, if they don't open immediately, they're still alive. So if you have to pry it open, it's dead and you can't eat it. So that, that was troubling to me. And then I tried to click on the barbecue. It didn't work out. And how do you know if they're alive? Is you do like, you just like whisper in there? Like, how do you even know? I believe what the process was was you put them in under hot water. You boil, you boil them and then the ones that crack open are dead. And then that's the ones you eat. Because I was, I was on a big clam kick like during COVID, during COVID, I tried to expand my culinary life and it was during COVID. So it was probably three years ago now, but the ones that

Starting point is 00:12:36 don't open dead, big dead, they're dead, dead. And you can't pry them open to eat them because that would be a dead thing. Oh yeah. And you don't want, I think there's something like even in the clam culture, you don't, you don't like after something's buried, you don't go get, you know, no, you don't get in the coffin with it. Absolutely not. And then we can't cook it. We got to eat raw clams. I wonder if I were to make a bait clam though, if I could have a dead bait clam. I don't, that's a good question to see. That's the problem because then you get, they're all closed, right? So you don't know the difference. Well, the bait clam is usually, they'll like take the clam, they'll shuck the clams, take the clam out and then put it in the

Starting point is 00:13:11 half shell, put on the half shell and then, but like bake it. So it gets cooked. I mean, everything is dead before it gets cooked. Yeah. But raw clam obviously can't eat that one, I guess. It always interests me that clam is an oyster or living things. Oh, well, someone told me one time that clams are like oysters that got molested when they were kids and never grew up. Yeah. I could kind of see it. I mean, I, when I do envision clams and oysters, I think of oysters as maybe say the grandfather of shellfish. Yeah. They're definitely the elders. They're the senior citizens. Oh, they definitely, they have like a newspaper under their arm. Oh yeah. Maybe, maybe a walker. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:43 Trying to just wrangle in a clam to talk, tell them about the old days. Yeah. And then the mussels too. I love a good mussel, but those are the big three. It's hard to denote sometimes the difference for me between clams and mussels. Let's look at what is the, what is the purpose of oysters in the oceans? Zach, let's look it up because we've had recently, we've actually been talking about this on here, that oysters are like a, um, I would bet they're pretty vital, honestly. Yeah. Oysters are a crucial component of global ocean health. These animals, oh, they're animals, filter and clean the surrounding water and provide habitat, food and jobs. Wow.

Starting point is 00:14:18 Wow. So they're kind of like a, um, like a temp service or something, maybe I guess. And their reefs could also serve as barriers to storms and tides. That's pretty sick. Wow. So they, they, uh, they got a lot of responsibility. How do they filter? Can you look up how oysters filter in the ocean? Because if they're filters, and this is the crazy part, that if they're filters, oysters, clams and other shellfish help remove excess nitrogen from waters by incorporating it into their shells and tissues as they grow. That would make sense. I feel like I've never seen a clean oyster shell.

Starting point is 00:14:53 Hmm. That's a good point. They're all pretty damn dirty. They're all got a little bit of dirt in there. They're sacrificing themselves for the ocean. Oh, which is interesting. You know, which I've been new every day, but that's crazy. Then so say you broke into like a trap house, right? Somewhere. Yes sir. And there's some dude in there, he's dirtied up, right? He's got soil, even have a little bit of soil around his mouth, right? And then you just put it, right?

Starting point is 00:15:13 Right? You put horseradish on him. You were dumping horseradish on him? Well, because that's where like an oyster is. Yeah, dude, you're right. No, horseradish would take him out pretty quickly. So, horseradish are kind of like... That would be his kryptonite. That would be his kryptonite, but then you eat him. Like, that's what you're doing. You're basically...

Starting point is 00:15:29 Because an oyster is like something like a car filter. Maybe your grandfather's car filter, he would turn off the little screw thing, he'd open it, he'd pull that filter out. Yes sir. So, that's kind of what we're eating. Dude, I would eat anything with horseradish on him, honestly, I don't care. Horseradish is damn good. It is good.

Starting point is 00:15:46 Horseradish is fine. A little cocktail sauce on it as well. Oh yeah. Yeah, you're right. Who am I? You know what I'm saying? What am I? I don't want to ruin that for anybody. So, you guys... So, take me through this first anchovy. It's right there. It's by itself. He brings out a canister of him. How many is in there? He brings out a canister. There was about six of us there. I would say we each got the tri one, maybe two extra.

Starting point is 00:16:06 So, I'm going to go with there was about eight in the canister. There was a little tiny oval thing like this. And like I said, I was lucky enough to be there with Christian Petroni and Aaron May, two world-class chefs. So, Aaron said, you got to try your first oyster. I said, pal, you're making it for me. So, I got this wonderful chef making it for me. They had this great bread that I think they said

Starting point is 00:16:24 this exclusive elderly lady down the street, bake for them every day, had the bread. Yeah, that really does look gross. The envisioning of the anchovy just by itself. That really does not look good. And that's the buffalo mozzarella on the plate there as well. But a little bread, buffalo mozzarella, anchovy, sun-dried tomato, he made it for me. Squished it all down, dollop of olive oil on top. It was a delightful bite.

Starting point is 00:16:46 Little salty, little salty, very salty. But still, I'm very happy I tried it. Those, the anchovies are very salty, right? Extremely. From what I know, I mean, I'm an anchovy virgin. I just lost my virginity 24 hours ago. Damn. But.

Starting point is 00:17:00 And they, now why is it I notice when you say like mozzarella, and I've noticed when people say salam, they don't, when they go back to Italy, they take off one, like we added a letter. Yes. So I think, I think they did it and we took the letter off from, from my knowledge. I believe that the thing is when the Italians like came over to America, their broken dialect cut off a, cut off a, the vowel at the end. So let's say, I only really say mozzarella, like mozzarella, say mozzarella, prosciutto,

Starting point is 00:17:35 they say prosciutto, capicola, they say gabbagull. No. Yeah. The gabbagull goes a little overboard. Yeah. It's a little. I can't, I can't go to a time deli with a straight face, but you're like, let me get the gabbagull.

Starting point is 00:17:46 I can't do that with a straight face, but I can't say, oh, I'll have the mozzarella. But that's pretty much it. Yes. Prosciutto, gabbagull, oh, regatta, people say regatt. Uh-uh. Yeah. Wow. Like, like parents say that, like grandparents in New York, etc., etc.

Starting point is 00:17:58 But I only really say mozzarella in my normal day. Ooh, um, calamari, they say gallamad. No way. Yeah. But I can't go into a deli with a straight face. And well, let me get a, and be like, let me get a hero with prosciutto and gabbagull on it. But mozzarella, I say. Or some vejean.

Starting point is 00:18:14 Sounds great throwing on there. I'm not going to say no to that one. I mean, I just wonder like what other, because yeah, that, I guess it makes it sound fancier because you're almost saying, I'm going to be the last letter. Sure. Yeah. It's like, I don't need to just put the letter on there. I'm going to show you in my ambiance or my minging.

Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah. And at the end of the day, there's a lot more fun to say. Yeah. There are a lot more fun to say. Rick, Riccata, that. Ricco. Rigott. What's more fun?

Starting point is 00:18:42 What's more fun sitting there saying riccata or saying rigott? Rigott. Exactly. Yeah, it does. But it's interesting letters, huh? Yeah. A lot of vowels. We got a lot of vowels.

Starting point is 00:18:53 The Italians? Yeah. Everything ends in a vowel. Hmm. Mostly O's, A's, all my friend group. I think there's 11 of us, probably nine of us have vowel endings. And are your parents like fresh off the? No, we're pretty Americanized Italian.

Starting point is 00:19:09 I don't even know. I don't even know what generation of my family even came from Italy, honestly. But we're pretty Americanized Italian. About as Americanized as Italian as it comes. But we're all in the mountains still. So everyone, it's really only Italian or Irish. That's pretty much it. Is it?

Starting point is 00:19:24 Yeah, I like that. North Shore is very, there's a lot of Jewish folks up there. And then the South Shore where I'm from, it's literally just like Italian and Irish. Yeah. Do they have, so that's where you grew up at? I was born originally in Corona, Queens. It's where my parents are from. And then we moved to Malvern, Long Island when I was probably, I don't know, four or five in that realm.

Starting point is 00:19:49 So I grew up on Long Island. I always say where you grow up is where you went to high school. I think that's a fair assumption. I feel like that's your formative years. Where you went to high school? Yeah. Where you went to high school is where you're from. Now in Italian culture, if a woman is like kind of, do you describe women like also as like,

Starting point is 00:20:08 relate them to like pastas or something? I was thinking maybe like this girl's a real vermicelli. This girl's a real farfalle. Yeah. No, but we could. I mean, there's a lot of great pastas. There's Papadello, there's a rigatoni. I never equated women to a pasta though.

Starting point is 00:20:21 Vermicelli is very like, it's almost like she's a little thin. Yeah, you go linguiney there too as well. Is linguiney even thinner? Linguiney is pretty damn thin. It's like a very, very thin spaghetti. Vermicelli has to be thinner. Vermicelli. Can you look up vermicelli?

Starting point is 00:20:36 I don't know. I want to look and make sure I know exactly what we're talking about. Dude, if I'm eating vermicelli, it's almost like I want to make sure its parents aren't home. You know what I'm saying? It feels very vermicelli. I mean, sorry, that's it. That is. Vermicelli is definitely thinner.

Starting point is 00:20:49 Then linguiney. Yeah, okay, so there's vermicelli. Okay. Like we're just looking at images here. Can we get any, do they have a chart somewhere? Look at that nest of vermicelli. Let's get a pasta chart up here. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:00 My personal favorite is Papadello, I think. I'm a Papadello guy. Mmm, see, I'm not even familiar with it. There we go. Yeah, I like the farfalle. That's really good. There's a good, great sausage dish by me that there's a sausage farfalle. So impartial that, but any penne is classic.

Starting point is 00:21:18 Mm-hmm. If I could date one queen though, maybe go with the fusilli. Ooh, the fusilli. The fusilli, you don't know what you're getting, dude. And where is that one? It's like right there. Oh, in the middle, on the top, it's like spirally looking right off. Like playing a mystery game.

Starting point is 00:21:32 Oh, yeah, that one definitely had, you could see it having some bipolar issues. Let's go down a little bit. I want to see what else is on here. Ooh, that rigatone. Dr. Rigatoni. Mm-hmm. That's, I would say that's the classic.

Starting point is 00:21:45 That's the blonde blue eyes, nothing better than that. It's an all-American classic. The rigatone, yeah. The rigatone. And what if you get that thick Asian girl? What's that one, that pad tire? What's the one that had like those egg noodles? Okay, what are the actual noodles on that?

Starting point is 00:22:00 Yeah. I think it might be just egg noodles. Yeah. Because I don't think they could, I mean, they're kind of technically the same. I mean, I had Robin for the first time last week. I don't know what the- Really?

Starting point is 00:22:07 Yeah. I just dove into it. A new place opened by my house, so I just said, fuck it, let's try it. And did you go alone? I went with my cousin and my dad. Okay, so you guys go to the thing. So is going to eat like at a new place,

Starting point is 00:22:18 is that a family thing for you guys? No, honestly, we were out Easter and I was having a few beverages and I told my little cousin that I wanted to go to the ramen place. He said, I want to go too. So I said, you know what? Fuck it, I'll take the guy.

Starting point is 00:22:30 I had a nice meal. It was fine. It was good for Monday night. I'll take a Monday night meal. I didn't have to cut up the Monday nights. I'll happily go and go to the movies, mini golf. Yeah. Because I have downstairs to sit in my bed

Starting point is 00:22:39 and watch YouTube all night. And that's the point of that. It's not fun. You just sit there and wait for enough time. To pass to then go to sleep. So Monday night's thing. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays. Yeah, I guess there is something about it.

Starting point is 00:22:50 Maybe that's like you're waiting for the fun to happen. Well, most people are also working. You got to get some work. Those are kind of work days. Yeah. You know, like we're on a Tuesday right now. 100%. So it's like, we're able to get this done.

Starting point is 00:23:04 Friday, sometimes we're tougher to fit things in. You feel like the week is like, you kind of feel like the weekend's just about to get its period. I feel like it's just like everything is just about to come crashing down. I'm just a fan of the weekend, dude. You're right.

Starting point is 00:23:17 I mean, basically Monday and Wednesday, I just sit around and do nothing. I'm just sitting around and doing nothing. Yeah. Just having fun. Waiting for maybe even Thursday. Thursday, I'd like to do a nice dinner. I mean, my friend's been doing dinner Thursdays,

Starting point is 00:23:28 which is quite nice. Because now I'm older. I appreciate it. Like I said, just a good meal. Good meal with pals is fine to me. It's like, I like Thursday, kick off the weekend. Kind of brings me back to high school. We used to go to Applebee's every Thursday night.

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Starting point is 00:26:54 this summer. Dude, there was something nice about trying to make love to somebody that worked at the Applebee's, wasn't there? I never tried. We never had any. We had a lot of waiters, not waitresses, but I could totally see it. Applebee's is a cool spot, a cool hookup spot for the olds.

Starting point is 00:27:09 I saw one time I saw a mom I grew up with out there on a date one night, tried to try to not make eye contact with her. I didn't make eye contact with her, thank God. But I got Applebee's, I'm sure they have nice deals, frankly. Yeah, well, I think Applebee's has kind of been, you know, in a lot of places, Applebee's is that first place

Starting point is 00:27:28 you get to go, you know? It's like the first, for some places, the first restaurant, you know? Like, Ron from like my niece, I was talking to her yesterday, and she's like, you know, my favorite restaurant is Jimmy John's. And I was like, well, that's not really a restaurant, but it is a restaurant, depending on where you're at.

Starting point is 00:27:46 100%, I've been learning that recently since we started something conversation in the last few years, I've been traveling so much, and that's like one of the first things I tell my friends when we're talking about kind of just even the middle of America or anywhere really, that's not a massive city. Like, if you're a kid in Indiana, you're deli's Jimmy John's. Your pizza is Papa John's, which is crazy for my brain

Starting point is 00:28:07 to think about, but that's just how it is. And I never realized that. And I thought, I mean, not the same as Ron with Jimmy John's, I love Jimmy John's, I'm a massive fan of Jimmy John's. I don't know how they do it so fast and the bread is so good with the oil. But yeah, like any random person growing up, I guess their deli technically is Jimmy John's.

Starting point is 00:28:23 Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. That's kind of how you learn about even anything, seeing things like a mozzarella cheese or something like, like some people, it's like, you know, they'll have like one of those like Italian restaurants and they put a new like pasta and that's how you learn about the pasta.

Starting point is 00:28:42 It's kind of, and I love seeing, I love seeing Italian restaurants of wherever, any random place here, I would say we're in Texas. Nine out of 10 names are literally just Paizanos. Those are just the names of all of them. It's crazy. I'm not even even if there's ever been a ball of fresh mozzarella in Topeka, Kansas. Has there been?

Starting point is 00:28:56 I have no idea. Maybe you're a prohibition or something. Oh yeah. When they were just when people were running out of alcohol and they were trying to suffice them with other stuff, you know, their worst things to be suffice by. Yeah. God, I guess it is pretty good.

Starting point is 00:29:07 I'm trying to think if I know about a lot of different cheeses or not. I did it until yesterday. I don't. I'm not, I'm not a massive, massive cheese person though. It doesn't, doesn't rev my engine. Really? Not really.

Starting point is 00:29:18 You just went into a back room and with a bunch of men you didn't know to get it. Well, hey, I was told to go there. I said, these chefs are taking me to lunch. I'm letting them rock. That would, I'm letting them go. That would, I mean, that would be like. Right.

Starting point is 00:29:30 That would be like going to play basketball with Michael Jordan and me picking the teams. Okay. Yeah. So I was said, I'm letting you guys rock. And hey, it was great. Cheese, the cheese was great. I mean, I'm also counter said that as I would say a bite

Starting point is 00:29:40 of good fresh mozzarella up there for one of my favorite bites I've had just in life in general, but outside of that, she doesn't, doesn't absurdly do it for me. Yeah. Yeah. Now a lot of people are wanting to know, and I'm still wanting to know. So you had six anchovies in the can.

Starting point is 00:29:52 How there was, it was eight anchovies. There were six of you guys. What do you do with those last two? I don't know who took the other last one, but one of the chefs did slightly actually the last one because it was would only be my second and show you all time. So I had two of the anchovies. So I guess that was an anchovy glutton, but I enjoyed them.

Starting point is 00:30:07 Did you change the way you ate at the second time? No, same way. I said, because once again, the chef, I remain told me, have this anchovy. I said, dude, only if you chef it up for me again. If he's there, I want them to be the chefs. Oh yeah. I want them to be the guides, the spiritual guides.

Starting point is 00:30:25 There's something kind of, there's something, I don't want to say erotic, but there is something very sensual about getting a good food because you're putting it on your tongue, you know, people don't realize that a lot. A lot of times people are just like, I'm putting something in my mouth. You know, I'm having this.

Starting point is 00:30:41 I'm getting it. I'm inhaling. I'm bringing it into me. But that tongue is right there too. The tongue is very sexual. And hey, there's a lot of aphrodisiacs out there as well. Yeah. Oysters.

Starting point is 00:30:50 A lot of aphrodisiacs. Oysters is big aphrodisiac, which is crazy because they collect junk out of the ocean. But it said they bring in nitrogen. Nitrogen is nitrogen aphrodisiac? I'm not totally sure what the rest of the aphrodisiacs are. I know Valentine's Day. What else?

Starting point is 00:31:06 Oh, Valentine's Day is a good one. Is nitrogen an aphrodisiac? Let me see. Oh, traditional plant aphrodisiacs and male sexual dysfunction. Oh, that sounds like the opposite. It's the opposite of that. I've looked that up before, I'm sure.

Starting point is 00:31:23 Chocolate, definitely. Figs, oysters, spicy chili peppers. Strawberries. Can you put why is oysters an aphrodisiac? An aphrodisiac. The bivalves. What does it say, Zach? The bivalves do contain zinc,

Starting point is 00:31:46 which has been found to be an essential nutrient for testosterone production in spermatogenesis. Dude, this could be really dumb. Isn't zinc what we make coins out of? Yeah. So you could suck on a damn nickel, boy, and get hard, probably. Why not, dude?

Starting point is 00:32:04 Oh, especially if you're poor, dude. Nothing gets you hard in a good nickel. Imagine a quarter. Imagine a silver dollar. Can't stop. Imagine a silver dollar. Bro, can't stop. Suck it all that for a month.

Starting point is 00:32:13 Oh, I'm a peep in time, bro. I put a silver dollar on my tongue. I'm a peep in time. George Washington didn't know it hit him. Didn't know it hit him. So tell me how you grew up kind of in this Italian environment. And is it just you?

Starting point is 00:32:24 Is there other women in the household? Is there other children? I'm actually an only child. No way. Yeah. Yep. And why did your parents stop with just you, you think? I don't really know.

Starting point is 00:32:33 I'm sure you were a handsome child, huh? No, probably not. I was a skinny child until I always said I got coxacchi, and then that kind of threw me off the rail. I couldn't eat for a few weeks. Oh, you got a disease. Coxacchi's like a few-week disease, but I couldn't eat for like two months.

Starting point is 00:32:48 And I just said I had to make up for lost time, and I've just been making up for lost time since. Because I do have photos of me when I was, say, seven years old, and I was a skinny little, I was a skinny guy. Really? Yeah. And when you look at those photos, do you think, because some people look at weight as like an

Starting point is 00:33:03 uncommon, I mean, how do you look at weight? What am I talking about? How do I look? I don't really know. I think it's more, I mean, I want to say it's a mindset. It's obviously not a mindset, but like I'm pretty, pretty happy with my, with my weight, for say. There was a time in my life where I was shockingly way

Starting point is 00:33:17 bigger than I was now, like, I think maybe like 50, 60 pounds bigger. And then I was like, I was like, fuck, dude, I'm a, I'm a large gentleman. I got to probably stop this because I was like, I mean, it was just, I was eating a shitload of, I was eating some, there's no reason to have a chicken color with bacon sandwich for lunch every day. There's no need for it.

Starting point is 00:33:36 Not every day. So then I cut that off and then look, and then I cut that off and I lost probably 20 pounds. And then COVID hit and then I just stayed home and just like drank every nine and equal chicken every day and lost weight then. So now I'm like sitting at a steady like 290, 295 right now. You really weigh that much? Yeah, you don't look that big.

Starting point is 00:33:55 Really? Yeah. I'm gonna play this clip whenever I walk on an airplane because I always feel bad walking on an airplane. Do you? Yeah, dude, you have no idea how much airplane stress I always have. So take me through that airplane stress. So you're, because yeah, you know, once you get to the airport,

Starting point is 00:34:08 you know that you're big. Yeah, I know, I know quite literally everybody on this plane is looking at me saying, please don't sit here. That's why it's nice though, because now I'm a Delta Diamond guy. No big deal. I get to order, I get to board the flight first. So at least I get that out of the way. But I mean, there was one time me, Caleb and our girl Kelsey

Starting point is 00:34:28 were traveling to Lake Tahoe from LA. So it was a quick flight. But our flight got canceled the night before, so we had to get on a Southwest flight last minute. And we got like the 54th opening on Southwest. How there's just first come, first serve. So we were a few of the last people to sit down. And I was walking on the island.

Starting point is 00:34:45 Literally I felt like Forest Gump getting on the bus. Knowing nobody wants you to sit there, there were only middle seats left. Then thank God, row, say 23, I saw like a 12 year old kid by the window. I said, you're my motherfucker. Just sat right next to him, we took out. But hey, we became friends.

Starting point is 00:34:58 His name was Terry. He was a great kid. He was like 13. We bonded the whole flight. He was saying he was going to visit his grandparents in Reno. And we had a great time. We played baseball on his iPad together. He was great.

Starting point is 00:35:08 But he saved my day, because I was quite literally shitting bricks knowing every single person on this plane is telling themselves, please don't sit here. Please don't sit here. Please don't sit here. It's a shitty feeling. That'll make you want to lose a little weight. It's like that Plinko game, kind of real life.

Starting point is 00:35:22 But you don't want it to get in. You don't want it to land. The Southwest was quite literally like, it was a scary experience because there were only middle seats left. Oh. There were only middle seats left. And then there was maybe, maybe the idea

Starting point is 00:35:34 that there was an aisle seat all the way in the back. But should I risk that instead of sitting next to the 12 year old? I went with the 12 year old. Yeah. You got to make that decision. I went with the 12 year old. And is it amazing that at that point,

Starting point is 00:35:43 you go to the warmth of children, you go to the kindness of a young child who has yet to determine in his head, hey, I don't like sit next to the kid. I don't want to sit next to this fat. Got to the fix. Yes. It was not that. Terry was a great kid.

Starting point is 00:35:57 But it was also just he's smaller. He's a small guy. OK. So he's a very small kid. He was smaller. So you guys put matching up together. Yeah. It almost made sense.

Starting point is 00:36:05 It's a beautiful relief whenever big skitties sit next to you. It was like a mice and meat. Yes. That's a perfect example. I mean, Terry, we bonded. We had a great time. Wow.

Starting point is 00:36:14 Yeah. It was really nice. But it's always great. Like sometimes when you sit next to a toddler, you get lucky for a toddler. Sit next to you on a plane. That's always convenient. At work, we have a shorter gentleman.

Starting point is 00:36:24 I like to sit next to him when we travel together. I've seen him. You guys did the. Yeah. Yeah. We did our first Morgan Wallen Sunday conversation. He took my place. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:33 You might have seen him in that. Yeah. You put the brother and he snuck in the brother on Wallen. Yeah. Well, what happened was we originally, when we first started Sunday conversation, we were doing two. Roan, you know who Roan is?

Starting point is 00:36:43 Roan was also doing them as well. So I went, I was pissed because at the time, like I'm still a massive fan, but I always loved Darius Rucker. And that was the day they were doing like a four-play scramble, like with Wallen, Hardy, Darius and Jake Owen. And then we had, me and Roan had a shoot with Doug Flutey in Melbourne, Florida.

Starting point is 00:37:01 And they said, you're going to, you're going to Doug Flutey, Zaz going to Troubadour to do the shoot with Wallen. And I said, fucking Zaz about to hang out all day with Darius, man. And I'm sitting here with Doug Flutey in the conference room in a Marriott in Melbourne Beach, Florida. That sucked.

Starting point is 00:37:16 I was disappointed about that. Luckily, two years later, we did Darius on Sunday conversation. And that was great. But at the time, it's stung, it's stung. When the, yeah, when the boss says, the boss says. Yeah. So you're growing up, they're only child, right?

Starting point is 00:37:29 And what kind of work are you in when you're doing, are you a funny guy? What kind of kid are you? And you're a thicker kid. You said you went through the disease, you got out of it. You got, you got to start you, and you started thickening up. Yeah, we picked up, we picked up pretty good.

Starting point is 00:37:43 Did the whole family, because sometimes there's kind of like a thing where a whole family will put on weight at the same time. Like something happens, a grandmother dies, or there's a, like a, not a power outage, but like a, you know, like a nuclear disaster or something. You know? No, I would say, I would not say so,

Starting point is 00:37:59 but we're definitely a larger family. I would say half, half-thix, half-nonthix. Okay. But in, in like the, not the immediate family, like man, some uncles and whatnot. But growing up, yeah, I would just say, I would say a fun guy. I don't think, I don't think absurdly funny,

Starting point is 00:38:12 but fun, always hung out with the, with the, with the good guys. I'm still best friends with all my friends growing up. So I think, I think relatively normal childhood, Catholic high school, Catholic high school and grade school. That was interesting. Oh wow.

Starting point is 00:38:24 Cause that's all boys in there, huh? Oh no, we had co-ed. Really? Our rival college high school was all dudes, but we were co-ed. They must have been so jealousy, you guys. Yeah, dude. The thing with two of them is there was,

Starting point is 00:38:36 so there were three high schools in the area, Catholic high schools. Sacred Heart was all girls, Shamanad was all boys, and then Kellenberg, where I went, was co-ed. So they all had Sacred Heart, I think, had Catillion and Shamanad had Aquaprom. So then we always had to watch our, our few Sacred Heart and Shamanad friends

Starting point is 00:38:51 trying to match up. So they all had to get each other from a distance. And we actually had no prom at Kellenberg. Yeah. Our prom got canceled for a flaunting of affluence. And what, people being wealthy? Yeah. Definitely not me, but like other people,

Starting point is 00:39:03 I got canceled in 2006, our prom did. So I never had a prom. Damn. Yeah. That was, that was a whole big thing Colbert talked about it on Colbert Report. Your prom got canceled. What happened?

Starting point is 00:39:12 Your prom got canceled. Yeah. You don't do a fake prom somewhere? So our fucking prom, I guess our kind of prom, we did a boat ride around Manhattan, which is pretty fun. It was fun. But hey, let me tell you, as a larger gentleman that did not have sex in high school,

Starting point is 00:39:27 it took a lot of stress away from not having to find a prom date. Oh, wow. What a relief, huh? It was like sitting next to a toddler on a plane. Seriously. It was quite nice. That I will say was fun.

Starting point is 00:39:36 And then yeah, I never had the prom. Didn't have a prom. Dude, what if, you don't think about that. You don't think about the other half of the school because there's half of the school. That's like, yeah, prom. This is it. I have a girlfriend.

Starting point is 00:39:48 I have a boyfriend. I'm lucky. You know, unisex. I don't need anybody to take it myself. Yeah. Like, but then there's like half the people that are like, fuck, I don't have anybody. I'm afraid to ask someone.

Starting point is 00:40:02 My partner is ill or something. I've been, you know, just all kind of stuff. Yeah. Always two sides of the story. It was, so I enjoyed it. I didn't mind it. Fox, you're like, wow. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:14 I said to myself, this is kind of nice. I, I was a little concerned though, people were going to start taking dates to this boat ride. Luckily they didn't. Right. And it was fine. We basically just hung out. It was, dude, do you remember how nerve-racking it was?

Starting point is 00:40:25 If somebody asked you to make, to get a date, right? Like we had like Sadie Hawking, right? Where the kid had, uh, the girl had to buy you a shirt, right? And it was a matching shirt. So first off, my mom was like, don't pick out some girl that picks out shitty shirts. Like, right, you know, grandma already gets you shitty shirts every year.

Starting point is 00:40:45 You need a good shirt. So now I have this pressure, right? And I'm not, you don't even get to pick. The girl picks you. Kind of like penguins. Is the women's picks it? I could be dumb, but I think women, no, sorry. Men present the win with a pearl.

Starting point is 00:40:58 My apologies. But yes. With a pearl? Yeah. I believe that's how they find it. They find like a pearl or something. That's how they propose to their ladies. Really?

Starting point is 00:41:05 Yep. I think so. Wow. Bring that up. I'm pretty sure, I believe it's a pearl. They definitely find something. I was watching an animal show one time and they like went to the end of the earth

Starting point is 00:41:14 to find their thing to present their lady. I think you're watching maybe Ice Age or something. I think it's something like that. Using a pearl to propose? I think so. Because I'm not seeing anything on that. Maybe not a pearl, but definitely something. They like, they have to find something

Starting point is 00:41:27 and then give it to the lady. I'm pretty sure. How do penguins propose to one another? Oh, with pebbles. Pebbles, sorry. A less fancy pearl. It's a very good point. That's all a pebble is, dude.

Starting point is 00:41:41 Yeah. A pebble is just a pearl. Finds the smoothest pebble. Isn't that nice? People think romance is that, huh? That's a good point, isn't it? During courtship, a male penguin will find the smoothest pebble to give to a female is a gift.

Starting point is 00:41:55 If she likes the offerings, she'll place it in the nest and the two will continue building up their little pebble mound in preparation for the eggs. That's actually beautiful. I didn't know that that. Yeah, I'll be right right now. I didn't know that that was their beginning of the foundation for their nest for their eggs.

Starting point is 00:42:08 That's fucking cute. Dude, that is so romantic. That's romantic. Because first of all, to even be a penguin, right? And balance a little pebble. Yeah, and they don't, it's not like they look down at the pebbles there. They got to go find the smoothest pebble.

Starting point is 00:42:21 Yeah. And first of all, how do you even lift the pebble further? Because you can barely even look down. I don't think a penguin can look them. So you have to almost get the pebble way up here. Look at it. Maybe kick it. Yes.

Starting point is 00:42:32 But then how do you test if it's the smoothest? Oh, how about that? Penguins are wild. Look at the one of them giving it to the other one. Wow. With the beak, he gives it. Dude, it's like when Harry met Sally. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:47 Man, that's some, that's amazing. Is there something else really romantic that happens in nature? See if you can find some, some of nature's best romance. Because the only other thing I'd seen is that lizard, that guy who's like a total perv that like puts like the big fake thing. Yeah. That's the only other thing I was going to say as well. There was, I'm pretty sure in one of those shows,

Starting point is 00:43:05 I was watching one time, I think it was some sort of a burn. He literally put on a guy, so you think he'd dance as performance for his lady. Like he literally, it was unbelievable. He looked like, he looked like Chris Brown. He was crazy. I did.

Starting point is 00:43:20 And then I think he actually f***ed the whole thing come over. So it really had a lot. But he really popped off on the dance. A lot of C-Browns. It was beautiful to see. Flamingos dance for their love. Take us through that, Zach. Yeah, there's a, this article lists a couple examples,

Starting point is 00:43:34 but Flamingos dance for their love, I guess, in separate groups. They strep together in search of a mate. Seahorses, I guess, flirt a lot. Horny. Yeah. Wolves, Wolves made for life. Now that's interesting.

Starting point is 00:43:50 Wolves made for life. Yeah, their packs are generally like nuclear families that comprise an adult male. Oh, damn. Dude, did you possibly see that story out of Vegas about a month or two ago? That some sort of dog. I think it was not, it wasn't a bulldog.

Starting point is 00:44:04 I think it was maybe a pit bull. It was adopted by a pack of wolves outside of Vegas and became their leader. Really? Yeah. Animal control found him and took him back, but he became their leader. He was the leader of the pack.

Starting point is 00:44:15 Wow. They didn't kill him and then let him become the leader. Huh. Yeah. White dogs by the living with Coyote Pack and Nevada rescued. Apparently he became the leader of the crew. Wow. They've got to make them, see,

Starting point is 00:44:28 but they won't make this movie, you know, because it's probably too much violence. I don't know if I can animate it, you know, like they won't make like babe pig in the crypts, you know. That's fair. I would love to see this stuff. You animate it, animate it for adults. Maybe make like Charlie Hunnam, the lead voice

Starting point is 00:44:44 and an American accent and his Jack's Teller accent. Yeah. Oh, that would be nice. How with Miles Teller in it. Oh, I'm down for Miles Teller as well, dude. We should make a new outsiders with Miles Teller in it. Remember the outsiders that. Of course.

Starting point is 00:44:57 Was that Tom Cruise in the outsiders? Or am I thinking of Stand By Me? I'm mixing them up. No, Tom Cruise wasn't in Stand By Me. I think he might have been in the outsiders, was he? As outsiders, stay golden pony boy. Yeah. Yes.

Starting point is 00:45:08 I think him like Rob Lowe. Yes, Rob Lowe. Tom Cruise. Wow, Tom Cruise was in there. Matt Dillon, Machio. Patrick Swayze. That's a goddamn power crew. It's unreal.

Starting point is 00:45:20 It's like the 80s Avengers. Yeah, C. Thomas Howe. That's unbelievable. What are we talking about? Your lady in high school finding you a good shirt. Yeah. Thank you, man. Wow, you're a good, you know what you're doing.

Starting point is 00:45:34 So, yeah, the girl had to pick out the shirt, you know. And I never really had, I didn't have like the girlfriend. I always had kind of like the one where you kind of got set up. I wasn't in the circle of like getting the notes from the girls a lot and stuff. So it was always like you, like I was always a little bit on the outside. Like my friend Scott would always get the date and then one of her friends and I would go with one of the friends and, um, yeah. And then you would just hope that Scott made out with some girls so he could tell you about it.

Starting point is 00:46:02 Did you do prom though? Um, yep, I went to prom. Oh, dude, so how'd you go about doing your date? Well, so prom, um, I, there was a girl that came into the office because I used to go in the office and hang out in there, right? In flirt with this lady that kind of looked like an animal a little bit, but she worked at our school. So I'd go in there and kind of flirt with her and stuff and just kind of, because I

Starting point is 00:46:27 wanted to be out of class. So I'd go in there and just sit in there and, you know, and, uh, and then they gave me a job and they're working behind the desk. I didn't do anything, but at least I was in there for a reason now. So they could like, so it wasn't like an insurance issue or whatever. So one day this girl came in and she needed something from me. So she like asked it, so it was like, I always had the toughest time kind of talking to the girl.

Starting point is 00:46:53 So when this girl kind of needed something from me, it was like, suddenly I was like of youths, you know, so I started flirting a little bit and the next thing, you know, we, uh, we ended up dating and, um, made love and, um, I took her to the school day. We went to the school prom, but what happened? What happened? She, uh, left to go to an after party early. No. Yes. And I got stuck.

Starting point is 00:47:21 So I had to draw, I drove this one, this one, uh, white guy that went to our school. He, uh, wore like one of the, he wore like a, um, a blazer that had those shoulder pads in it. Nice. Like single moms you used to have to wear because the husband had left, you know? Sure. And, um, so he wore that and I remember I was like, dude, I'll give you a ride. And he's like, all right, cool. And so we're driving to the party and he breaks down crying, bro.

Starting point is 00:47:49 So now I want to get to this party because, you know, in high school, you only kind of get so many chances to make love to your girl, right? But what was the love made already before this party or this was your first night? It was made before. Okay. But this was still like prom night. It's still, still, still a Super Bowl of the love. It's, it's a Super Bowl of high school love making obviously.

Starting point is 00:48:04 Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. It's the biggest deal from what I see in the movies because I don't have one. Yeah. So you're excited, bro. And he starts telling this dude had the craziest.

Starting point is 00:48:14 He kept saying that people thought he looked like someone, people thought he looked like Damon Wayans, right? And he was a white guy and right then I knew he's nobody thought that, right? And he's just kind of like losing his shit. Bring on a picture of Damon Wayans if you can, the daddy. And he's like, man, people expect so much out of me, you know, uh, I was like, do nobody, you know, I'm just thinking nobody, and he's a white guy. I mean, this guy's black.

Starting point is 00:48:42 Damon Wayans is, is black. So anyway, I knew I'm like, fuck dude, but the guy's crying. So it's like, it's, it's so hard to get from somebody crying to okay, de-escalate the situation and get over to, you know, before your date gets too drunk where you can't make out. Yeah. That's yeah. So did you, uh, or were you feel comfortable making out also? Of course.

Starting point is 00:49:01 Which we were going to say. Did you, so did you want to not go to the party? No, we got there, man, but I just sit for like a half hour and be in the car with him while he cried and then, um, It's a mood kill. Buzz kill. Oh, it was the worst, dude, because I kept just one, like it's going to go and open the door every, every five minutes.

Starting point is 00:49:17 Yeah. That's, that's, that's tough. And he's like, man, and people expect so much out of me, man. People expect so much out of me. And I'm like, nobody even knows what you're talking about. Hey, look at us two guys with bad prom experiences. Yeah. What was yours?

Starting point is 00:49:28 You didn't have one at all. It got canceled. Now we got none at all. This year's got canceled. We literally just had that boat ride. So was it weird going into summer then not having made love yet? Um, it was a little odd because that was, uh, it was summer and then we were going to college and college was interesting.

Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah. College. Now college showing up to college, I think having made love or not made love. That seems like, uh, I wonder what that feels like to a guy. I mean, I know what it feels like, but I'd made love. Yeah. Yeah. So you kind of had that monkey off your nuts or whatever, you know?

Starting point is 00:50:01 Yeah. College was a scary ass time. I really did not like it. I went to UAlbany for like three semesters. UAlbany was, it was an odd, it's an odd place. There's, I'm on record saying, I think the most satanic people are in upstate New York. Yeah. There, there's just an eerie vibe in upstate New York.

Starting point is 00:50:17 It's an eerie, eerie place. Yeah. A lot of neck tattoos, a lot of fucking people getting punched in the back of the head while they're trying to eat a TV dinner, that kind of shit. That's very fair. Yeah. It's, it's a creepy, creepy odd place. I mean, there was, there was one time where literally I was, um, it was my freshman year,

Starting point is 00:50:33 first semester, I was staying on the eighth floor. We were looking at if I like won the lottery of being in the nice tower, being in the good tower, the brand new tower, Indian tower, it was called, which was awesome. Like were you big, were you physically larger at this point or not? Um, yeah, I would say a little larger than I am now, but, but, um, not, not as big as I had gone, like I said, but, um, so we were in there. It was eighth floor, I always remember. It was great.

Starting point is 00:50:55 We had commutal bathrooms, not a commutative bathroom, sweet. So we only switch area, bathroom with like six people, great times. For some reason though, whenever, for that first semester, we were drinking like personals of Bacardi every Friday night. I don't know why we were drinking personals of, what is that, gin? I think gin. It's kind of homeless sexy kind of. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:13 I was drinking like Bacardi apple personals. No idea why, but either way it was Friday night one night and I'm a noted pussy. Like about many things, like definitely supernatural stuff. Like about what, drinking and shit like that? No, no, no. Actually, no fun fact. I was the last of my friends to start drinking. I started drinking in the junior year at this.

Starting point is 00:51:30 Wow, okay. Yeah, this weird thing called the Coliseum, but that's another thing. In college or in high school? High school. I used to walk around and tell my friends, I'm going to be the D.D. I can't wait until I get my license. I'll drive everybody around. Oh yeah, you probably wanted to be a cab driver.

Starting point is 00:51:41 I mean, a lot of that's just being Italian. Yeah, that went out of the door though, once I got that nice taste. But after that, um, so. Okay, so you're in college, they got you repunzled up. Mm-hmm. They got you sugar rate, puzzled up in the top of the tower. You're living large. You got your own pisser up there.

Starting point is 00:51:58 Dude, you're a good fast man. So it's Friday night. We all have our personal's and then we elect me to be the guy that night, to go downstairs to the basement to get the sodas, to chase everything. So I go down to the basement, get the sodas, go back up to the A4, but we're stopped at the first floor. Yeah. I step into the elevator and I will remember this clear as day.

Starting point is 00:52:17 Step into the elevator, go to the back right corner of it, in walks in this kid that I've seen on campus and I know he was, and this girl that I saw on campus that I definitely always found. She just looked a little creepy, looked a little off. Oh, yeah. And I'm looking, but and she had a wizardy looking. Yes, almost like a, like a Harry Potter student. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:34 And she, so I'm in the back left corner, this kid stands in front of me in the other corner. She immediately walks in and sits down in the right corner to me. And I see her sitting down. I tell myself, why the wisest girl sitting down in the corner? I look at the door closes as soon as the door close. She starts like freaking out almost like shaking and, and screaming at the top of her lungs.

Starting point is 00:52:53 And I'm trying not to look. I look over to her and she is covered in like satanic writing. There was like a six, six, six on her forehead, like a pentagram all over her arm. And I, like I said, I'm a massive, massive pussy. I immediately, I had, it was one of the, probably the most scared I've been in my life because I don't, I don't fuck with the satanic stuff in the slightest. You know, who like, no, I mean, there's people,

Starting point is 00:53:17 but, and I'm sitting there having, I was wired as a ghost. And then thank God these girls, they don't know, got off that floor six, they were getting on. So I jumped off the floor six, those girls immediately said, this man is the most unattractive man I've ever seen in my life. Jumping out of that, seeing me just white as a fucking ghost. But you know what? I went back up and my roommate still says to this day that

Starting point is 00:53:35 he's never seen a human being truly white as a ghost. It was, I was so terrified. I didn't know if there was some sort of like satanic cult going on in the school or if it was a joke. I truly don't know to this day. So if, if you happen to be watching this, whatever your name was, I would, I would love to know. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:53:51 To this day it was, it was terrifyingly scary. This episode is brought to you by better help. We're grateful for them. And I'm grateful over the years to, I feel like beginning to know myself. You know, it's interesting as you kind of evolve, you get to know yourself. So I'm like, oh, you know, once you get used to everything else in the world, you're just like, oh, dang, I'm going to learn about me. And if you have trouble getting to know yourself, better help is there.

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Starting point is 00:54:55 Discover your potential with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash Theo today to get 10% off your first month. That's better H E L P.com slash Theo. You know, I'm a big fan of raising canes, baby, you know it. My God, boy. And if I see, if I see raising canes, I want it. You know me all day, dude, I will. I'll crawl under something to get a dang, a raising cane.

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Starting point is 00:55:44 That's who I am. And, uh, and you can too, you know, and if you want it and you desire it like I do, I like the Kaniak combo, then, uh, then you can go onto their website. You can order online right now, raising canes.com. And they also have that mobile app. That's right. They're mobile. Satisfy your canes fix fast by ordering through your Kaniak app.

Starting point is 00:56:09 Fast by ordering through their app or online at raising canes.com or stop by your local restaurant. Gosh. Yeah. You know, they had a lot that, you know, until Harry Potter came out that the wizarding group of people were like a lot of the like Satanist kids that Satan is vibe. Yeah. They morph some of them. I think when Harry Potter came out, they got, they're like, okay,

Starting point is 00:56:34 this is a way for me to get out of this. This is our new thing. Right. Well, this is a chance if I'm not going full Satan and I'm just huffle puffing around, this is a chance for me to just to, you know, this is a way out. Which is not a lot of agreed. A lot of those people got onto that. Now some people stayed satan.

Starting point is 00:56:50 Yeah. If you stayed on the same, how you're going straight to hell. Yeah. I mean, or yeah, or you're like, uh, yeah, if you're like a Colts fan or whatever, I don't know. But some people just stayed going out there, but some people got off on the Harry Potter when that when Hogwarts rolled up there like, I'm fucking thank God. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:07 There were some guys that are Voldemort guys. They stayed Voldemort guys. Yeah. They kept doing that. You know, it's a little fun fact though. Apparently Satanists aren't actually, they don't believe in Satan. They just believe in nothing, which is odd. But they also, but they also, I think they worship like the idol of like Baphomet,

Starting point is 00:57:23 which is that dude with the goat head. Yeah. Be Alzebub. Let's bring up Be Alzebub, please. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm curious about the different Satan's. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:34 There's Beasalbub. I think he was like, I think Beasalbub was actually like the, the, the Biblical Satan, I believe. Yeah. That guy's creepy as hell. I think, I think of this, I think of like, I think of like the villain in Tenacious D. I wonder what that guy would do, huh? That dude looking like a corned up cougar with his little antichrist baby.

Starting point is 00:57:54 That's tough stuff. The scariest part is that he has that baby because party's gonna want to help the baby, but party knows that that baby is probably already compromised. And that is also the antichrist. That is the continuation of Satan, I guess, theoretically. Like Rosemary's baby, you ever see that movie? That's Rosemary's baby right there, baby. I mean, and that'll make you be pro-choice.

Starting point is 00:58:16 Yes. Robin Polanski. Let's look at, look at different Satan's. Can you look that up, please? I just want to see some of the different ones. I've never thought about this, the different types of Satan they have. Now, there's that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:30 This is the Tenacious D Satan. That's your Tenacious D Satan. That's your pop culture Satan. Yeah. That's your very run of the mill kind of. Everyday Satan. Yeah. That's your everyday Satan.

Starting point is 00:58:40 That's your like, yeah, three in the afternoon, we need a Satan. Ooh, that'd look lucifer there. That's just a normal dude naked with some wings. Top left. Oh, wow. Look at that. So that guy could really be anybody. So that guy, that's, I feel like that was Satan in his human form before he went downstairs.

Starting point is 00:58:55 Yeah. That guy's got a top hat though. I enjoy that one. Oh, that's good. Like he's a businessman. Like, look here. It's like Monopoly went wrong. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:03 Like I'm going to manage Elvis. Wow. You see a lot of that goat with wings, with horns. It's the goat head. That's the one that'll get you the pentagram. When was the first Satan? I think it just said that Lucifer's what, 350 BC. If you click on the men, the naked men.

Starting point is 00:59:24 Three or three years with the John Milton's paradise. Lost. Oh, okay. Let's look that up, Zach. If you don't mind, when was the first Satan? What is that in the Bible? This is bad for me. I went to fucking Catholic high school, like I said. No, look, man, this is.

Starting point is 00:59:39 Oh, look at that guy. Okay. Satan, also known as the devil, and sometimes also called Lucifer and Christianity, is an entity in the Abrahamic religions that seduces humans into sin or falsehood in Judaism. Satan is seen as an agent figures. That's the most, you know, you got to have an agent subservient to God,

Starting point is 01:00:06 typically regarded as a metaphor for the Yetzara or evil inclination. So in the evil inclination of God. What does that say, Zach? A figure known as Satan first appears in the Hebrew Bible as a heavenly prosecutor, as we were talking about. So he was good and then went bad, but it's first appeared in the Hebrew Bible. So that kind of means he was like the judge,

Starting point is 01:00:27 Judy kind of of the Hebrews Bible. Right. And then he went wrong. He wanted all the power for himself, I guess. That's normal. Yeah, it happens. All right. So you're in college.

Starting point is 01:00:39 You got things are going pretty cool. You're enjoying it. I didn't love it. I really did not. I just, I love my friends from home just a lot, and I just kind of just miss them. You did? Yeah, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.

Starting point is 01:00:50 Then I transferred home. I went to school at Baruch with this like business college I'm gonna have on 23rd and Lexington. And then I got hired at my job beginning of the second semester of that. And more stool. Yes, sir. And then I did two more finish that semester, did one more and then I dropped out.

Starting point is 01:01:09 Oh, you dropped out of college. I am a college dropout. Yeah. Good times. Whatever. Yeah. It was like six years ago now. So.

Starting point is 01:01:17 Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of times college is just if you don't even know what to do, people go into college. Yeah, it was scary because like my mom obviously didn't want me to drop out. But then I kept telling her the point of college is to get your dream job and I had my dream job. So why should I not just drop out for it? And I would venture to guess the experience I've had

Starting point is 01:01:34 in the six years since is well worth more than a college degree in nothing. I had no major. I was my shock. Yeah, it was horrible math. So when I transferred, I even when I transferred, I had to do a whole, what do they call it intermediate or remedial math class?

Starting point is 01:01:49 The whole for a whole semester, I didn't even get credit for the class. And then to even get a major, I had to do like two more math courses. Mm, math. Yeah. So math really got me. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:58 And when I yeah, when I when I dropped out, I didn't even have a major and I was a junior. Yeah. Oh, math will trip up any real. You know what I'm saying, bro? Sorry. Sorry. But yeah, math, math will get you, boy.

Starting point is 01:02:14 Yeah, but that that was I was such a relief that today I got hired too, because it was just so like. Yeah. Well, that was I mean, Barca was a huge corporation then. I mean, how long have you been working there? Six years. Dude, I've been this September is going to be seven. But I mean, I got hired.

Starting point is 01:02:28 Caleb hired me, which is fun, which is fun to talk about now. Like quite literally the day I got hired at work, my mom. Yeah, I was doing Tuesday, Thursday, Monday, Wednesday class and then Friday. There was like a 20 minute recap of the Monday, Wednesday class. So for the first few weeks of that, my mom was a Baruch. Yep, my mom was driving me into the Jewish school.

Starting point is 01:02:48 Or is this the name of it? Bernard Baruch is like a famous business guy. He may have been in the tribe. I'm sure he I think he was actually. Is your family Jewish or no? No, Italian. OK. Italian and Greek.

Starting point is 01:02:57 Do they have Italian Jewish people? Yeah, I would. I feel like Italians and Jews cross Mingle a lot. So there's definitely some. Yeah. But so my mom literally drove me to the city that day, because we were doing a nice very wholesome. We would she would drop me off every Friday.

Starting point is 01:03:13 I would go on my 20 minute recap and I'll go to a nice lunch in the city. You and your mother. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, beautiful. So she saw how nervous I was. I got the I got the internship interview at 1230 that day. The class was from let's say 1145.

Starting point is 01:03:26 So she drove me over there. And I was freaking out too, because at the time I was actually emailing with what I thought was Erica Nardini, our CEO, was really just her office manager. But they made it seem like it was a. It was who's office manager? I was office manager. His name was Brett.

Starting point is 01:03:39 He used to work with us at Barstool. Yes, sir. So you thought you was emailing with all the with the office manager from Barstool. I thought I was emailing with Erica as the CEO, but it was really Brett behind that. So I was, I think I'm emailing Erica. I think it's like a business interview type of thing.

Starting point is 01:03:52 As I'm going over there, I look at the Barstool Snapchat and I see Caleb interviewing people. So I'm saying, oh fuck, this is kind of like a content thing. And I'm shitting bricks because. Now you're going to be on camera. Now I'm going to be on camera. I was a fan of Caleb, a fan of everybody. It was a big Barstool fan.

Starting point is 01:04:05 And you're in your nervous, your mother knows you're nervous. Terrifyingly nervous. And also one thing that's valid. Now this is a value of having children that I think are thicker, you know, is that you can see when they're nervous, he's here. That's fair. I get rosy cheeks.

Starting point is 01:04:17 I get big time rosy cheeks. I've been told that a lot. And I think that there's something about that as a mother. It must be because you have all these other mothers, the kids on pills for nine months, dude. They have no idea, but he weighs 121 pounds. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 01:04:30 So she knew I was worried. And then I know it's a content to be that. I didn't realize, did you ever go to our old office spending chance? I did one time. So do you remember how you get off the elevator and everyone's sitting right there? Yeah, it's kind of alarming.

Starting point is 01:04:44 Quite terrifying. So I'm a bar still fan. No idea what I'm walking into. I get off the elevator. Everybody's sitting right there. Extremely scary. I go walk by the bar. They say, stand there for a second.

Starting point is 01:04:53 Go talk to Caleb. I'm Jen Bricks. I'm a Caleb Presley fan at the time. Still am. And he asked me, he just sits me down and asks me, are you fast? And I said, you know what? For my size, I am pretty fast.

Starting point is 01:05:05 When I play softball, I get down the line pretty quick. People will be shocked. I've beaten out a ground ball or two in my day. He says, prove it. Let's go downstairs to the street, to a 28th. And when my mom dropped me off, I said, Claudia, drive away. Don't stay here. I don't know what's going to happen.

Starting point is 01:05:19 Just don't. That's her mother's name, Claudia. Yeah. You call her by Claudia? I call her Claudia sometimes. It's a beautiful name. Yeah, I like Claudia. My mom's name.

Starting point is 01:05:25 So I like it. So I call her Claude. So she's Claude on my phone. But so we go outside. She didn't move. So I'm fucking freaking out. My mom is literally right there. And I'm out there with a camera and Caleb.

Starting point is 01:05:36 I'm telling my son. She's right there. If you watch the video. And what is she doing? She's just pretending she's not there. Probably sitting in the car smoking a cigarette. But she was there. That checks out.

Starting point is 01:05:46 And I think that's awesome. It was great. Yeah. I was just terrified if she was going to get out of the car and say something or anything. Yeah. We walk to the corner, run down the street. Caleb says, you know what?

Starting point is 01:05:54 You are fast. You're hired. We go up and talk to Dave as I'm walking out. Gazz, our head of social says what's your everything names. And I recently had watched Entourage and Goodfellas. And Goodfellas is a character named Sally Balls. Entourage is a character named Wally Balls. I think just in my head, I thought Glennie Balls would

Starting point is 01:06:14 be a name that I, me and my friends were jokingly named that. Like I would call myself that jokingly. Like we were talking about gambling or something. Glennie Balls, huh? Yeah. Like we want to talk about horse racing or anything. Yeah. And Sammy Spheres, Ronnie Rownes.

Starting point is 01:06:28 Yes, sir. You know what I'm talking about? So I said, oh, my friends call me Glennie Balls. And then I think that I think the name is it's a catchy name. It's a good name. I think it's a good name. And then yeah, then pretty crazy. Me and Caleb started hanging out.

Starting point is 01:06:39 And what about mom at that moment? Did you hug? Because the craziest thing that moms do is not leave and the pretend they left. Dude, you know what happened actually? So it was right when Barstow first moved to New York from like, so everybody living across the country finally moved together. Every Friday they were doing a Loja Fridays.

Starting point is 01:06:58 So everyone would dress in Hawaiian shirts and make margaritas and shit. I was only, I had just turned 20. It's nice like Christmas almost. Yes, sir. I had just turned 20. And they immediately say you're the intern, go get us alcohol.

Starting point is 01:07:09 And of course had fake IDs. But I didn't want to use a fake ID and maybe get in trouble. He just started. As a long Island person using fake IDs in the city was always a bit of a scary thing. So I call my mom like, hey, how far away are you? You're on the bridge yet. She comes back, bought me all the alcohol.

Starting point is 01:07:25 And then bought underage children alcohol. No, my coworkers that were of age. Because I was just scared to buy it for, I was scared to get like in trouble using a fake ID. So my mom came back, drove back to the office, went to the liquor store down the street, bought us the alcohol. And then I just gave it to everybody else.

Starting point is 01:07:41 I was scared to not deliver. Yeah. And then I got Caleb Chipotle. That was my first day at work. Went to a mech game that night. Caleb's an interesting guy. He's the most interesting man that I've come across. He's very, you know, I think there's other levels.

Starting point is 01:07:56 So there's layers to him that more will be revealed, I think. Yes. I think there's things about him that a lot of us don't know. And I think we're going to be learning. I hope so. I mean, I'm clearly a massive fan as are you. Yeah. Great guy.

Starting point is 01:08:13 But yeah, you just wonder, is there sometimes is a little ulterior motive somewhere in that man, you know? He likes the, he likes to rabble rouse, you know? He likes the fucking smoke, boy. Yeah, he does. He's, I mean, he's a fun guy. I love him. I love being with him.

Starting point is 01:08:27 I love hanging out with him. I'm still kind of scared of him. But I love him. Yeah. He's an alarming guy. Great guy. Very interesting. Yeah, I went, he came to a show in Florida not long ago.

Starting point is 01:08:42 I had a show in Florida and he came out him. And he's, he was, he was pretty lit. We're getting, we went to the casino and he's gambling. He's a, I've gambled, I gambled with him in like Tahoe last year at that golf tournament out there. Yeah. He's a, when Kayla, it's not, me and him are different stages of life. He's, he's, I think he's, he just turned 30.

Starting point is 01:09:04 He doesn't drink as much, hang out as much. But like, I like to, I like to go out whenever we're traveling. This is, I'm like, I'm traveling. I'm not, if I'm in Tuesday in LA, why not? Why not go out? Why not? You go out. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:13 I get messages all the time. You and I are not, we're not super close. You know, we've kind of got to know each other a little bit. Yeah, we've met each other a few times, but yeah. And I'm glad we're getting to spend time today. And, but I'll get messages like, Glennie Balls is in town. Yeah, I like to go out, I like, I like to, I like to enjoy, I like to enjoy the city is that I traveled that I'm lucky enough to travel to for work.

Starting point is 01:09:31 So, but I would say maybe once every few trips, I'll get Kayla back with me. And when, as you know, when he's out and having fun, he's just the most fun, funniest person to enjoy. And that whole time we're in like Tahoe, he just, he was just having a great time. And he was, he's just so much, I love him. He's just so much fun. Yeah. He's a creator, man.

Starting point is 01:09:48 I was kind of joking. He's a creator. He like, well, I mean, he got old, he got, he was pretty fire. He was pretty lit, right? So he's pretty lit. And he starts bragging everybody that he went to Wells Fargo earlier, right? He starts saying it like, it's like, he went to like some fancy place that sees candy or something. You know, he's like, yeah, he gets, he makes a new bit every time he gets drunk pretty much.

Starting point is 01:10:09 Yeah, he's like, well, Wells Fargo this afternoon, he keeps, you know, he's like, Oh, I got some size 10s from Wells Fargo. I'm picturing him saying it exactly. So he got, I guess $2,000 out of his bank account. At this point, he's up $20,000, right? Yeah. I haven't bet a bit. Dustin Poirier's there, Mitchell Trubisky, Cole Holcomb, some of his Caleb's close friends,

Starting point is 01:10:35 some of my close friends sitting there doing a little bit of gambling. And Caleb was like, he just wants to bet it all. He wants to lose it all. He's trying to buy a car for the lady that's working there. He wants, he wants them to send a fucking Kia dealer to the table. Like you're at a certain point, you know, it's like, what is going on? It's just, it's unbelievable. And if you tell him to cash out, he will not.

Starting point is 01:10:59 No, he's the best. He's the best. I mean, we were, I like Tau too. We were there like that, that tournament in the high roller room for, I think four nights in a row because that's where everybody was hanging out. And there was one night we lost them. I lost them till 3 a.m. I couldn't find them.

Starting point is 01:11:11 I had to know where his phone was. I finally found the me and Shirley with Kevin from the office at the bar, like two blocks away. I really was looking for him for two hours and I found it with Kevin from the office eating chili, which is like, once again, it's like playing basketball with Michael Jordan, eating chili with Kevin from the office. But yeah, he's just, he's, he's a raucous time when you, when you get him going. Yeah. You'd never, he, he is like an ingredient where it's like, okay,

Starting point is 01:11:34 they're like, you can put this ingredient in the recipe and like, what are you like, what is the ingredient? And they're like, we don't know what the ingredient is. And I know whenever I get it, I'm so excited to savor it. Yeah. Like even when I've, the few times I've been in the same city as him is like, he just, I was living in Nashville and he, and I go to Nashville a lot. So I would like, whenever I go, I'd feel weird not texting him.

Starting point is 01:11:52 I'll throw him a text. Usually it just doesn't answer, which is fine. Yeah. That's who he is. But, um, like this weekend too, he's back in Florida. I'm going to Delray this weekend. I told him before when we were getting on the shoot last night, I was like, hey, I'll be in Delray this weekend.

Starting point is 01:12:03 I'm going to grab one shirt or anything. Probably won't see him, but it's all right. I don't mind. I'm with my friends anyway. Right. It's your chitch, you touch base. Yeah. I just want to make sure, if you want to hang out, I'll hang out.

Starting point is 01:12:12 But like, I'm not confident we'll get him out for a ninth this weekend, but if we did, I would be thrilled. He's just one of those, he's one of those guys you see him at a party. You just grab, you grab a tattoo. Yeah. There's something that's wonderful about, there is something that's very wonderful about him. And people like him. Of course. And so many people like him that it also makes you be like, oh, there is something definitely,

Starting point is 01:12:35 I don't know if that, it's not that you do it because everybody else said, but everybody likes him, you know. Some people just have that quality. Yeah. That everybody just likes. Yeah. He's just radiant. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:44 He got to great quality, man. He got to great quality. I think one of my favorite, okay, actually, this is the kind of stupid, that's not even funny, but it's one of my favorite things that we've done is he kind of has like a Sunday conversation uniform. The white shirt, bow tie, hair down. That same day we were on that Southwest flight, we just finished a shoot with Amelia de Moldenborg. And then we just went to the bar and drank all day and then flew to Reno to go to Tahoe. And just seeing the few Sunday conversation fans at the airport on the plane,

Starting point is 01:13:09 seeing him in his Sunday, he didn't take it off. He didn't change. It was like seeing Clark Kent dressed as Superman. Like just he had Caleb kind of drug Roman down the aisle in his Sunday conversation, full outfit was so funny. You're seeing the people's reactions. He's there to subnate. She just did a good fuck.

Starting point is 01:13:25 And that was just one of the days. It was great. It is kind of weird, like being like a talking head in a way, like, which all of us kind of are, a lot of us kind of are on social media because that's kind of what you see. And then people see you in real life and people always comment on, I thought you were smaller. I thought you were taller. I thought you, you know, we're in a wheelchair.

Starting point is 01:13:44 Like people always have like different, you know, they, they never get to, it's the first time they've ever seen you, you know, or they're like, what are you doing? You interviewing someone here? And you're like, I'm going to aunt Anne's. Yes. I'm having a problem. I'm not, you know, there's nobody, you know, I'm just relaxed.

Starting point is 01:13:58 My, my main ones I just get is always worse Caleb. Yeah. I got a lot of worse Caleb, which I, now I'm just, I just say is like, he's over there. He's going to drink the other on the bar. I'll just say he's here. And, uh, and then my other show I do, I interview only fans models. So I pretty much 99% of the questions I get now on a matter of bars between me and you.

Starting point is 01:14:14 Yeah. You fucking those chicks. Right. Presley or Puz. I like Presley. Oh, Pussy. Well, and I, yeah, we don't even say, we don't even say, uh, how pointed you, you said, or we don't even say Pussy on here that much.

Starting point is 01:14:30 Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay. Um, so get it. So get it. So let's get through. Cause yeah, I know you have a show now that is very sexually involved. It's very, it's, it's in the sexual world, right?

Starting point is 01:14:44 Yes. It's in the industry. It's in the industry. As the folks say in the industry. So I want to see how do we get there? So what has sex been like in your life up to this point? You're in college. You're not really digging it.

Starting point is 01:14:54 Then you get the job at Barstool. Where does sex kind of play? And have you been watching pornography growing up? Have you been like, um, were you exposed to some type of violent, you know, drawings of people fucking? What happened? Um, you know, I've always, I've always been a horny guy. I'd say like one of my favorite stories.

Starting point is 01:15:12 My mom always tells, she tells everybody that she does everybody that growing up. She'd always just tell the story that she fell asleep one day when I was about three, four years old. We were watching Titanic. She woke up and I was just rewinding that scene. That's what she always says. Wow. I don't remember because I was three or four years old, but she always says it.

Starting point is 01:15:29 And I don't think she's a lying lady. And I've always grown woman of watches that with a four year old. Seriously. I think she just wanted to watch the fucking Jack and Rose fight over that door. But I mean, I was there for it. I just, I was just attracted to it. Like there's a photo I have of me. I got to send to you guys.

Starting point is 01:15:43 You want to put up your money, put it out. It's like, there's just a picture of me in Vegas where I'm maybe 10 years old. And there's just a big pair of fucking like ceramic tits behind me. More like a fat Tony's yacht shirt. I've just always enjoyed it. I've, my, my dad's called me going through the playboys and the attic before. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:00 That, I mean, those are all, that was not only are those awesome just because there's like full bushes and naked women in there. Just seeing the ads and all playboys are awesome. Yeah. It's cool. It's not like it's always a guy smoking or something. It's a nice drawing of a car in the background. It's never like that.

Starting point is 01:16:14 It's all cigarette ads. It is all cigarette ads. Yeah. You like hits, smoke. It's just cigarette ads. And then like, here's, here's our interview with rising Steve Jobs and one of them I have. Yeah. It's really, really cool.

Starting point is 01:16:24 The ads are awesome. But, um, yeah. And then I think the show just led me to, um, I've never been absurdly into porn. But now if you're climbing up a ladder, now here's, so you went up into the attic to look at it. Yes sir. So there is something now, because I used to bike about five miles, right? I'd go to my friend's house and his daddy had a little bit of pornography hidden in the, in the toilet, in the bathroom.

Starting point is 01:16:48 So I'd get in there and I'd lock myself in there and I'd be in the, like 40 minutes on a Sunday morning at their house. And it was like, going to church. Yeah. The only person taking like a 40 minute shit at that point was somebody who had like Ebola or somebody who had like, you know, some disease you got in the war. Taco Bell. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:06 Yeah. Yeah. Something heavy. Yeah. So I was, you know, at some point they knew I was in there jerking off, you know. But I noticed at that point, looking back, I would bike five miles on a Sunday morning to masturbate at someone's house that I didn't know that well. I think that's well worth it, honestly.

Starting point is 01:17:24 If that, I mean, I grew up in an age, luckily enough, where we didn't always have the internet. Like if we had our phones, I think the first time I jerked off, the first time I came, I didn't even think I jerked off. I think it just happened naturally. Oh, wow. I always remember which kind of sucks. There wasn't even a face involved. It was, um, remember that movie Sex Drive?

Starting point is 01:17:40 Let's pull it out. It was the unrated movie Sex Drive and the actress at the end was Katrina Bowden, wonderful actress, but she didn't go topless in the movie. So they will be panned down to like a decoy pair of tits. And that's the first thing I ever came to. So you came to fake tits? I came to just to unmask, unmask, no, they're real. Just not even Katrina Bowden.

Starting point is 01:17:58 So it was just an unnamed pair of tits. I don't know who the first tit I came to was. If you look on the IMDb of the movie, will it let you know? Maybe I've never done it. Doubt I might look at that later. Yeah. Cause there was, they like show her face and then she takes her top off and it's a unknown pair of tits. Sex Drive.

Starting point is 01:18:16 Great movie though. Zach can look that. Oh, you know who's in there? Mike. Seth Green is in it. Yep. And also Clark Duke, who I love. Yes.

Starting point is 01:18:23 Very funny dude. Zach can look that up in the background and see if those tits if he's. Yeah, should be Katrina Bowden's tits in the unrated version. Yeah. That was always a fun thing in the unrated versions. Yeah, it was something that came out. You know, I remember looking, I remember being finding some pornography and liquor at the same time.

Starting point is 01:18:44 And I was drinking and looking at it and I didn't know what was going on. And I was on the top of a shelving unit. And then ejaculate it and fell down to the ground, just blacked out. It was just overdrive. The worst things to happen, honestly. It was overdrive. That sounds awesome. God, it was good.

Starting point is 01:19:00 That sounds like a home run. But then there's something after that where it's like everything kind of changes, you know, you just feel like some, you know, then you start to just abuse yourself to get semen out of you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say sugar coated there. Once I figured out what was happening there, it happens a lot. Like a, like a goddamn professional ball player. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:23 It's the best. Then iPhones, iPods, infinite, infinite. I could only imagine like you were saying growing up, you and me too. I was looking at the magazines. Mine probably, I would say my main source of tits though, growing up, was like unrated American Pie movies. Yeah. I would say you ever see American Pie big house?

Starting point is 01:19:42 A lot of tits. Dude, the amount that I would, I would venture to guess that has the most topless women in a movie ever. It's an astonishing amount of tits in this movie, astonishing. I've seen this more times than I've seen for our scope. Yeah. You think you've been to church more or seen this more? Dude, I don't go to church that often.

Starting point is 01:20:05 But you had to go growing up. We would go occasionally. We would go occasionally. I would maybe go every, maybe a few times a year, maybe 10 times a year, but I've really kind of gone, depends actually my high school, we would go to church for school, but it would be in the basketball court. Yeah. And the pastor would come in.

Starting point is 01:20:22 Does that count as going to church? I don't know. We had assembly sometime. We had this beautiful, Ms. Mack Manis, I think she was our principal there. I don't know. Or she could have just been like a real angry lesbian that was at the school. I didn't, you know, you didn't know sometimes, you know, and, but she, they would always have that assembly, you know, and it was like, we're having an assembly, you know,

Starting point is 01:20:46 and it would be like, and it was always like kids were urinating on the, they had like the, the heaters in the, like the old heaters. It was an old building from like the 1930s that we all went to middle school in and they had, people were pissing on the heaters and it would steam up the whole bathroom. So then people would play like ghost baby and stuff like that and things like, you know, and, uh, playing out of the eights, all that shit in the bathroom because it was all just piss steam, you know? So she had to have a meeting and say, no more pissing on the things, you know?

Starting point is 01:21:18 And, um, but it was crazy telling children that because kids were in there just. And that'll make, probably want to make them do more. Sounds like a lose, lose for everybody though. The second you heard about it, if you weren't doing it, you're like, we kind of did. Fight or fight. And we had a janitor this dude, Mr. Larry, and he would piss over you into the fucking year while you were in there. He was like the BJ Armstrong, a piss.

Starting point is 01:21:39 This guy was, it was unreal, bro. How he could fucking hit it every time right over your body. Like you could literally look up and see it going over. You like the, um, what's that thing in St. Louis? The golden arch, the golden arch. Yes sir. So you were under this madness. He was, he would pee from behind you.

Starting point is 01:21:57 It was like a secret. It was like a, yeah. He was like a fucking savant or whatever. You know, giant. No, he wasn't a giant. I mean, he was a giant to us, we're in fifth and sixth grade, but he was probably, I bet five, nine. Interesting.

Starting point is 01:22:10 Black though. So he had that, you know, he had that damn. Well endowed. So get us. So all right. So you're cruising through life. You're at now. Did you finally, did you get to sex before you got to bar stool?

Starting point is 01:22:27 I did not. Wow. I'll tell you that. I'll, I'll, I'll say it. I don't mind. I mean. Yeah. Look, I mean, I'm doing fine now.

Starting point is 01:22:33 So I don't really mind talking about it. Yeah. Look, I mean, I wouldn't, I always, I wouldn't say I'm like, I wasn't saying I was popular per se, but like my friends were like normal, like normal kids. They always had fun. Like I said, still best friends with all of them were great guys. But, um, yeah, I never, never dabbled in. Yeah, it's all right.

Starting point is 01:22:47 And so were you nervous? I mean, dude, I remember, I mean, I, yeah, I was, it was always so nerve wracking. I mean, were you nervous when you got in? When you, when you, did you know it was going to happen? Was it like a, all right, this is it. It's a girl I'm dating. This is a big night. Or was it just kind of like here it goes?

Starting point is 01:23:06 It was a girl I was talking to for a little bit and we had done stuff before that. Okay. We hadn't done the whole nine. I think it was going on to a good concert. So, um, what concert you remember? People are going to end, uh, it was Billy Joel. And he's my favorite artist ever actually. So that's a nice, uh, bro, if you could make up to a woman after Billy Joel.

Starting point is 01:23:26 What's better than that? Nothing. Literally nothing. Yeah, it was a Billy Joel con. It's so rare, I feel like. Dude, yeah, that's feels like I'm in the eighties. So I love it. It was, it's a cool story.

Starting point is 01:23:37 It was like Billy Joel, Billy Joel concert. It was beautiful. I mean, what I have actually never, never said that. So it was a Billy Joel concert. And everyone, a lot of people, if you, if you know me remotely, you know, I love Billy Joel. So maybe now people, maybe now people know why. God.

Starting point is 01:23:50 See it's from a sign restaurant and some sex. It's a good duo. And did you go back home? Did you go to a hotel or motel? No, it was at her apartment. Yeah. God. Now you're venturing in enemy territory.

Starting point is 01:24:03 I'm wondering, was it more fun to have sex on a home turf or on a way turf? I'm in a way game guy. I love away games. I love away games. Well, I mean, me and Caleb also travel a lot. That's a good point. I'm a big fan of away games. I mean, I love sex, but I just, I enjoy it.

Starting point is 01:24:19 Like I've said this many times on only stands. Like I just enjoy the chase a bit a lot. So I love doing the away game stuff. Yeah. And I'm not going to lie to you every time I go to bars at home. I don't get like the same vibe with women. I just don't talk to women the same. I don't know why.

Starting point is 01:24:33 I feel like they like me less. There's something about an away game. This is the Lord of an away game. Well, yeah, they can get you at the store. They can get you at the local store because you're there. Yeah. 100%. But when you're just passing through town, when you're like, you're a, you're a commodity.

Starting point is 01:24:49 You're, you know, you're like when the train would come through and had like a rib eyes on it. You know, you got a bunch of brothers just beating the shit out of each other. They're trying to get to a real, because you, you know, but if you grow up right next to ribeye factory plus right next to Peter Luger, which is not going to be the same. So yeah, I mean, definitely the way game guy. There's no doubt about it. And when you walk out of that place, you make love to the woman when you leave there. This was it.

Starting point is 01:25:14 Does things feel different? I'm trying to take myself back to that. It felt pretty damn good. I really remember actually, I actually got a text from my buddy that said his manager at one of his, uh, at the firm he works for in the city. Just said, I saw Glenny walking down the street looking absolutely disheveled and I said, yeah, it makes fucking sense, dude, it makes absolute sense put two with two together. Did you tell your mom after?

Starting point is 01:25:37 No, I did not. I don't even know if I told my friends, honestly, this month that this the way they're going to find out it's just interesting and I'm trying to remember who I told you. I also didn't tell her. So this might be the way she finds out too. If she watches this, that's beautiful, man, which might be embarrassing. So I haven't talked to her in a while, which would be awkward, but whatever. Dude, I made love behind a Tiffany Lane by, they used to have a bowling alley in our town

Starting point is 01:26:02 called Tiffany Lanes over there. Was that outdoors? It was outdoors out back. Wow. I've never done the whole public sex type of thing. It was, it was, it was, it was, you know, I was always so, I've always had so like, it's gotten better now, but it's so much pressure like interacting with women. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 01:26:19 That it's like a lot of like nerves going on. Oh, a hundred percent. And imagine you're like, imagine somebody's electrocuting you and you still have to play Jenga, you know? Yeah. That's kind of how it is. I think if you're really nervous and trying to do it, get a good irish. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:34 I mean, there's no two ways about it too. Like I'll be the first two men, like I just said, like a confidence is a lot. Like as, I guess I've grown more at work. I mean, confidence has risen and now it's fine. Yeah. But a while ago it was like, it was, I totally get it. It's fucking scary. Sex is scary.

Starting point is 01:26:48 Girls are scary, especially when you're once again, I'm no Tom Hanks. I'm gonna say Tom Hanks. I'm no Tom Cruise. Yeah. Like it's, it's an intimidating thing for the fellas. I'm no fucking Lonnie Hanks, you know? I'm no, you know, in shape though. The in shape guys got these.

Starting point is 01:27:03 All you got to do is be in shape. But also here's one issue. Thicker guys think that just a guy is in shape. Like, dude. Yeah, it's true. To me, you have a six pack. In my, in my world, you might as well be Fabio. Oh, that's hilarious, man.

Starting point is 01:27:19 Yeah, dude. There's just, I mean, it's, it's interesting. Once sex is introduced to, and I'm talking a lot about sex today, because I want to eventually we're going to talk about your show. Yes. And sex is a driving force in a lot of young men's lives. You know, I think about that. It shapes kind of like, once you start to learn about sex,

Starting point is 01:27:37 it's interesting because then your interests, like some of them start to disappear a little bit or dissipate because that takes up like 50% of the brain. You are preaching with a choir. God. I cannot tell you. I mean, I remember before I lost said virginity, I would go out with my friends and they would always be like,

Starting point is 01:27:54 trying to get with girls and I would just tell them, dude, it's like, let's just hang out at the bar, talk a little bit. Now I kind of get it. Yeah. Now I get it. Yeah, dude, because, but then also you're like, how's this weaner going to fit in a vagina?

Starting point is 01:28:07 Like there's so many little things. If you don't have a role model to tell you about sex, you know. Yeah. Did your dad tell you anything about sex? Not really, no. Kind of just, kind of just mung it. Yeah. Oh, man.

Starting point is 01:28:17 I mean, I thought it was funny. You learn from the streets, otherwise you learn from the sandwich shoppers. You know what I'm saying? You learn from the, you know, the subway. You learn from the, you know, if we don't learn from a parent or something. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:30 We had to, so your dad didn't learn you? No, I kind of just mung it and wing it. I thought I was, I don't know if she knew or not. I don't think she did. So I think that means I passed the test kind of. Oh, that's a good call. I didn't get it since your first time. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:44 She actually, the first night I, when I was with her, I may went downtown and she said that. She was like, oh, you're fucking good at this. I said, wow, you know, I appreciate that. It's one of my first few times. That's cool, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:57 It's also nerve wracking, bro, back then. I, you know, we had some calls a while back about if it would be better if family, if in some tribes, you know, there's tribes in Africa, there's tribes in Europe, where they, a older sibling or a father, teaches the child how to masturbate. Really?

Starting point is 01:29:18 Because then you're learning it, you're learning sex from like a, it's part of a familial thing. It's not as like this taboo thing that like, you know, you know, a little Richard shows you in the woods one day, you know, and he's, you know, coming on a lizard or whatever. I had no masturbation needed to be taught. I kind of just thought it was pretty primal.

Starting point is 01:29:37 But I think you, if you have a sibling that teaches you and takes you through it, or you have a parent that takes you through it, then some, I guess there's some cultures where it's believed that that's the way to do it. You know, we've had a lot of callers calling and say, yeah, my brother taught me how to do it. Sure.

Starting point is 01:29:51 Which is interesting. It would be, I'm sure, I think I sort of been nice to have a guide, but trust me, I didn't need one. I figured out how to trick off. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was, that first summer was a, was a tough one. Would you do any cool tricks with your hands

Starting point is 01:30:05 to make it different when you would masturbate ever? No, I mean, my left arm sucks, dude. I can't trick off. I don't think I can trick off with this thing if I tried. Oh, wow. I'm a very right-hand dominant. Like even growing up playing baseball sometimes, not that I'm a fucking big brute,

Starting point is 01:30:16 but growing up playing baseball until I was like 14, like I'm a lefty and that's because you're swinging this way. Your right hand's coming through, pulling the bat around. I don't know how righties follow through with your left arm. My left arm is so dead. I don't know why, but this thing is trash. Yeah. In my, like if I had to lose this limb,

Starting point is 01:30:31 I wouldn't even mind really. I do nothing with this. Don't trick off with it. Don't eat with it. I do nothing with it. God. Yeah. So I'm very right-hand dominant. So I'm really just focusing on the right-hand jerk off.

Starting point is 01:30:43 But don't you ever, it's almost like sometimes when you want to like, I'll use like my language learning app or something. It's like, sometimes I'll do the same thing. I'll master it with my left hand. It's like, I just want to like give my, you know, you know, to try to be not like artsy, but to try to like, you know, learn a new language, I guess. Or switch up a category.

Starting point is 01:31:00 On pornography. I'm in the realm, in the industry. Oh, yeah. So well, that kind of brings us to where we are now. So you do, you have a show called Only Stands. Yes, sir. Only Stands. So are you kind of like a male? Do you consider yourself like a kind of a, like a male?

Starting point is 01:31:19 Do you consider yourself like a male sex symbol or like a journalist? No, it's funny because I would never consider myself a sex symbol ever. Because I'm not a sex symbol in the slightest. It would be cool to be considered a sex symbol though. I feel like you are though. I feel like you're, because I think of you or I see you now. I mean, I know some of your world and I know that you love sports, you work in martial sports.

Starting point is 01:31:39 I know you're involved in that universe, but now I see you around, you know, sexy women and you guys are, you know, talking about sex. Yeah, it's been fun. I mean, I definitely would consider myself a journalist. I'm a, I'm a, one of the only few only fans, journalists in the world. Try to try to keep the, the journalist, interviewee relationship fine. And that was same. I'm a journalist.

Starting point is 01:32:00 So I, I enjoyed it so much fun. I love, I mean, I love beautiful women. I love talking to beautiful women. I think they're very fun to talk to. And the way that most only fans, queens are, they like a lot of podcasts, I don't know, even if they do podcasts, it's rare that they get to just talk about random things. I try to just talk about random things and fun things as much as possible.

Starting point is 01:32:18 Yeah. Yeah. And then obviously there's a lot of sex talk because it's fun to just read off. Hey, just had a 10 guy blow bang. Right. And you had Whitney on. I went on recently, she was amazing. I loved her.

Starting point is 01:32:30 She was so cool. She was so funny. She's amazing. Yeah. She gave me a bee costume one night. What's that mean? I think, I don't know. She, I was at the comedy store and she gave me a beekeeper's uniform.

Starting point is 01:32:42 Oh, really? For no reason. Interesting. Do you still have it? Yeah. Still in my truck, in my truck. I don't know. So I got to give her a buzz and check on her, but um.

Starting point is 01:32:52 Yeah. She was great. She was like the first time I was really like starstruck by somebody. I've been watching bros since I was 15. So I was very cool. Oh yeah. But you know, yeah. Super cool, when he comes on.

Starting point is 01:33:02 And that was. You're talking oven roast. Yeah, sorry. Like then, Angela White, it was great. We just had her on. She was amazing. And now Angela White, tell me about her. So you interview a lot of women that do OnlyFans, right?

Starting point is 01:33:14 So now that OnlyFans has kind of took over the industry since COVID. COVID had had a huge up climb because everyone was inside. So you just did OnlyFans. So now all the porn stars do OnlyFans as well. And Angela White is like the fucking Ken Griffey Jr. porn. Oh, really? She's amazing. And so she's on OnlyFans.

Starting point is 01:33:35 So we had her on and she was just, I got drinks with her on Sunday. She was just the nicest. One of my most interesting humans that I've met in my life. She's amazing. Yeah. Like an amazing, the nicest person I've ever met. Like we had Whitney on, we had Whitney on. And we talked about how Angela White did a Two Broke Girls porn parody

Starting point is 01:33:54 and what he made Two Broke Girls. So we watched the clip of Angela White and then like made that into a clip for the show. And Whitney texted me. I said the clip should have been so funny, but we got to get some of the clips of the show in there. And within a second, I texted Angela White. She immediately responded back,

Starting point is 01:34:09 talked to the producer, talked to the director, got it all done in 10 minutes. Wow. She's just a, she's an angel. Angela White is an angel. You know, it is interesting. A lot of like, a lot of strippers and pornograph, pornography women. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 01:34:25 And men maybe too. I don't know. I don't ever look at, you know, I'm kind of, I don't look at the wiener when I look at pornography. Ooh, I do. Really? Like I enjoy a good blow job porn. And you look at the wiener or you look at the mouth.

Starting point is 01:34:38 I think I look at the mouth going up and down and the wiener's there. Yeah. But I know if you don't want to see the wiener, your brain won't see it. Yeah. I definitely see it. I definitely see it. I enjoy blow job porn. I mean, there, but there's, there's a lot of,

Starting point is 01:34:48 there's a lot of different porn's out there. My personal favorite is Bachelorette party porn. Oh yeah. Yeah. You ever watch dancing bear? Dancing bear is this company. I don't know what the, I don't know if they're even still in business, but it'll just be these 25 horny housewives on a Bachelorette party.

Starting point is 01:35:03 The dancing bear rolls and it's a male stripper with a huge bear mask on. That needs to rummage around on the old blow. Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't know why. I think the idea of a housewife doing that is kind of a product to me. That's why I like that. It's like the new age door to door salesman kind of.

Starting point is 01:35:15 Kind of. Yeah. And then there's her being intrigued by that. Willie Bloman kind of. Ooh, Willie Bloman. What a fucking, upon that is. Is that death of a salesman? I think it was.

Starting point is 01:35:25 Yeah. Yeah. So now when you, but now tell me this. So how does that start to influence your sexual because look, I try to stay off of pornography, right? I respect it. I've seen it all. I know what they're doing.

Starting point is 01:35:38 I, but my problem is I start to then think of sex only in like the frames and the things you see on pornography, right? Yeah. So it's like, I'll think of like, and I notice this even like with a lot of women now, it's like you hook up and it's just like little thing. It's almost like you just go through these vignettes that are on pornography. It doesn't even feel like a lot about like physical touch anymore. 100%.

Starting point is 01:36:02 And a lot of guests have said that that porn makes people delusional about how sex actually is not every time we're having sex, his girl going to be screaming at the top of her lungs. That's just not going to happen. Yeah. So they always say stuff like that. But me. Oh, a lot of times if you're having sex,

Starting point is 01:36:14 the girl's not even going to be screaming at the top of a low murmur. Or saying anything, talking like this. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm the side. Dude, during sex, I am the silent. I know. I was saying that too on episode a few weeks ago. Some girls were talking about what you should do when you're getting like head

Starting point is 01:36:27 or something. I said, I don't really, I don't don't say anything. I say, yeah. Sometimes they're saying. Yeah. Some of the girls were saying like, just be like, oh, you're you're a good little slut. Pat her head.

Starting point is 01:36:37 I'm like, I'm not saying that shit, dude. It's crazy. It's crazy. So I just let this stay quiet. Yeah. I think I would, yeah, I would say, yeah. Yeah, I would say, oh, we got to get out of here. Sometimes I say stuff like that.

Starting point is 01:36:52 I think I a lot of times feel like I'm about to get caught. So and I think that comes from having had sex outdoors. I think that comes from, you know, I got to be, you know, I got BJ'd behind a thin tree when I was young. So people could see the sides, but not the actual. Yeah, it wasn't a redwood. So it was tiny. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:37:12 I mean, it was. So you were doing some public sex, dude. Just the way it happened, you know, I know I didn't have a place where somebody really could come over to my place. And a lot of poor people, you know, the early sex is outdoors. Interesting. But yeah, I totally get it. I think I'm sure a lot of people, there's a many, many,

Starting point is 01:37:30 many outdoor videos on OnlyFans. People definitely enjoy the thrill of being outdoor, I guess. And I guess viewers enjoy the thrill. Is this person going to get caught? That's a huge thing. Have you seen the compilation of bee stings during outdoor porn? I have not. But maybe that's a correlation of why when you come,

Starting point is 01:37:44 it's got you a bee costume. Ooh, it could be, huh? Full circle. I love that. So has that, but is that hard though? Because if you're a guy who grew up with not a ton of sex, right? Or like, you know, because a lot, which is most guys, you know,

Starting point is 01:38:00 I mean, I had one sex person, two sex persons, women's until high college, right? Yeah. If you had a bunch of, if you had a lot of sex in high school, you're a dickhead. Oh, you're gross, bro. You're a rapist. Douche.

Starting point is 01:38:15 I think, right? Like, if you had a lot of sex in high school, dude. You're a loser. Yeah. Dude, if you got chicks in high school, dork. Yeah, you're a sick fuck, homie. But um, uh. Yeah, no, the show, it's not, that doesn't mean

Starting point is 01:38:28 get that different from me, honestly. If anything, it's, it's, it's, I've noticed that girl, normal girls think I'm like fucking every guest. They say, you have all these hot women on your show. And I'm like, we're just doing a podcast. Like, that's really it at the end of the day. But I've had just a, you know, I've had women here and when they, I don't, you know, I've had women,

Starting point is 01:38:46 and anytime a woman's around, a lot of times you don't want them to, you know, it's like, you get attracted to women. Is it hard to separate the work, you know? Ooh, yeah, nothing. It depends, honestly, it depends on the girl. Like, there's definitely girls I've had on my show, that, that we clearly vibe a little bit.

Starting point is 01:39:01 And there's some that I haven't. And maybe some of them will get dinner afterwards, like me and I just, like, got dinner that night. A few have gotten drinks, but they're afterwards. But like, nothing crazy. Can you legally make love to the world? Can you legally date them? Is that even a legal thing?

Starting point is 01:39:12 I guess you could. I don't see why not. I mean, I haven't, wouldn't. I think either way would be, it would be unprofessional. If I said maybe did it that night at the podcast, which I never have. But I think that would be, that would be towing a line. I would say maybe if, let's say, I did a podcast

Starting point is 01:39:30 and one of them lived in LA and the next month I was in LA and she was like, oh, let's get drinks. I would say, and if we five, once again, never happened, let's like, if that happened, I guess that would be okay. Right? That's too consenting adults. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:39:43 So not, and watching, sometimes you watch the stuff. Like, do you have to watch porn to prepare for your guests then? Like that has to be. Sometimes, because so a lot of, most of my guests, there's like porn girls and only fans girls. The only, most of them are only fans girls. So not all of them do porn. That's a good point.

Starting point is 01:39:59 And that's not all the porn. Sorry. There's a lot that, there's a lot that are just, some of them don't even post like their boobs. Some literally don't even post boobs and make astronomical amount of money. So my guests vary from porn, full-born porn stars like Angela White, two girls that literally don't even post

Starting point is 01:40:14 their boobs to Whitney comics, to who does comedy only fans. So it's, it's whatever. But I mean, if that's how. But he's got them fricking hammers on her, boy. Yeah. Well, respect, respect. But, um. She got them fucking taunts, baby.

Starting point is 01:40:26 Respect. She, she said it. She knows it. But, um, yeah. So really just depends on the guests. I'll definitely, I'll definitely tune in. I got subscribed for science, for research, the day of. But how do they do it?

Starting point is 01:40:36 See what they're doing on it. See what they're doing on it. York and all of them, they come in like, how do you even. I don't jerk off every time I look at it, you know. But it's so hard not to, they, the algorithm is set where you're going to skeet at the end, buddy. That's true. But then again, it's also, it depends on what they're posting

Starting point is 01:40:49 on their only fans. Not everybody's posting the, the, the peak, the peak of what you want to see. What's your only fans bill every month? Um, I think I subscribed to like 28 accounts, but obviously a lot of them are free. So a lot of girls do free accounts and then they'll charge in the DMs for a whole bunch of money for the nudity

Starting point is 01:41:07 or whatnot. So I don't, I don't, not like I buy everything in the DMs. I would say the bill a month, maybe a hundred, 200 bucks. It really does not many girls do too many, um, high prices. A lot are free. And, and I really, I don't buy much content from my guests. I literally just look at it, sounds stupid, but journalists. I'll just look at like when you subscribe to them,

Starting point is 01:41:28 the DM that comes up, what they're offering, how much they're offering stuff for. I've also found like a great way to prepare for the guests is to go through their Twitters. Like they're just, they always treat fun stuff, TikTok stuff, a lot of dating questions. Like talking about dating. But, um, no, actually the porn itself,

Starting point is 01:41:42 I don't watch too much of the porn. Hmm. I also, I also do that work. I can't watch too much porn at work. But then again, it's work. But it does. There's something that if you're watching porn at work, there's something that feels like you are

Starting point is 01:41:56 are not doing well. Would you agree with that? Yeah. If you're, if you tune it into, if you tune it into, uh, if you're on X-Habster at the job site, it's probably not the best. You never want to log into X-Habster from nine to five. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:42:08 But yeah, I mean, hey, it happens there. There's, there's some porn girls or some only fans girls. And, and honestly, they're all great. I'm a massive fan of all of them. Interesting, man. So you, so you're able to separate the work and the sex. A hundred percent.

Starting point is 01:42:21 Like a big thing too is, uh, like the first episode we did, we had this girl genie X-Hamon, and she offered me to be in a only fans video with her. That's what I saw you and Caleb talking about when Caleb was in here last time. She offered me to be in an only fans video with her meeting me and her having sex. And I don't know, just, there's no,

Starting point is 01:42:37 Did you consider it? No. I said no instantly. I just, I don't really see the, I really, first off, I told my mom I want to make a sex tape ever, which I'll oblige by. And number two, I, like I said earlier, I really don't have a, I want to do a chase.

Starting point is 01:42:52 If you're just offering me sex, I'm not interested kind of. I want, I want to be able to get it properly. I like the whole idea of that. So there's some romance. You're romantic kind of in a way. I would say so. Yeah. I want to know I could charm a lady.

Starting point is 01:43:06 Yeah. Like there's, there's times I'll be out of the book. Like there's times I've been in a bar obviously. I'll do whatever, but when you're at a bar and a girl just says yes to how you want to go back. That's just as good. Right. That's just as good.

Starting point is 01:43:18 Okay. So sometimes that, that a buy, that a block, that'll oblige it. That'll oblige the it. Yeah. Just follow them. They go, she said, we're good here. She said, yeah, I'm happy.

Starting point is 01:43:27 I'm happy with it. Right. I should, yeah. But on a regular, but if you have your wits about you and you haven't drank in a day or two and you're thinking to yourself, you know, I'd like to meet a woman. I'd like to, you know, be a man of stature.

Starting point is 01:43:40 Kind of to quote John Mulaney kind of. Yeah. I do. I just love talking to women. Yeah. I love women. Well now see, do you think it's increased your ability to speak to women on the regular?

Starting point is 01:43:50 Or do you think it, you still kind of compartmentalize it in one and the other, like your show and then meeting a woman in the wild? I do think I've always, I think I've always been good at talking to women, but I think it was more of, you know, in a friend zone type of way. Definitely in a friend zone type of way. Now I think I talk to women and at least they like look at me

Starting point is 01:44:09 as remotely some sort of a sexual object, which is nice. But I would, I would say that I was actually watching a Chris Rock stand up. I'm not even standing if he was on Fallon, I think, like last week actually. And he was saying he was trying to get with Rihanna once he got single. And Rihanna didn't even look at him as a sexual object.

Starting point is 01:44:25 She like uncle-ized him, he said. That's almost how I kind of felt like it was back in the day. Now I feel like at least I'm not being, I'm being sexualized. Okay. So now you at least you have some sexual. I think I got, I think I got a, I got a fighting chance. Like I was going to battle without a sword. Now I at least have a sword.

Starting point is 01:44:40 Right. Which I'll take. Right. You were never Babe Ruth, but now you're at least Ruth. Yeah. Or Babe. Baby Ruth. Anybody.

Starting point is 01:44:47 Yeah. I'll just be, I'll be a solid 250 hitter, 20 homeruns a year, 80 RBIs. I'm happy with that. Yeah. I don't need to be Babe Ruth, but now I'm going to battle. I at least got a sword. I got a hammer. I got something with me.

Starting point is 01:44:58 Right. Interesting, man. Yeah. I've just kind of been curious what that world's like. It's a fun world. Yeah. I'm sure. Well, look, I mean, you get to talk to women.

Starting point is 01:45:07 We get excited when we get women in here. Yeah. Then, then really they're all very, very cool. They're cool chicks. Yeah. I have some, I have some close friends that are only fans or do only fans. It's kind of become a way that women can take the, you know, control of the sexual industry

Starting point is 01:45:30 if they're involved in any form of the sexual industry, or even just like an artistic element of sex. Yeah. It doesn't even, honestly, it doesn't even need to be sex. I know girls do the cooking content on it. Right. Right. I guess sexualized something.

Starting point is 01:45:40 100%. And then if you're a good looking chick, like there's just so many of them that just make so much money. And like I said, really don't even post nudity. Now, what about world? What suggestions do you have? Say that there's women that don't think of themselves as sexy women. Right.

Starting point is 01:45:54 They don't think of themselves. They see like a, you know, like one of these blonde kind of trying to think of something. A blonde bombshell. Yeah, blonde bombshell fucking Hermione Granger or whatever. And you know, in a two piece or whatever. And they're like, I can't be that. Right. How do they create an only fans that could be marketable?

Starting point is 01:46:15 Well, that's what a lot of people say. I mean, they're only from the, one of the beautiful things about only fans is so many girls, there's a market for everything I've learned. Yeah. Literally a market for everything. So if you're not feeling maybe like a, maybe like Bo Derek, there's still probably guys that are in the market for what, for what you're selling. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:31 And that's just completely a fact. I mean, one of my favorite questions to ask every guest, I'll ask every guest this, is what is your most interesting odd subscriber request you've come across from your subscribers? And they all say the most ridiculous things. There's people out there that will like you for you no matter what. There's a category for everybody, I think. And that's, I've learned that. Yes.

Starting point is 01:46:51 Do you think it's healthy for women to do only fans? Do you ever, do you gain any thought on it by getting to meet a lot of these ladies? And have you, what do you think about that? I think it's an interesting, it's interesting and it depends on the way they think about themselves kind of. Like if there's a, there's a lot of girls that will complain to me, but they can't find a boyfriend because they're doing only fans or something. And I'll tell them all the time.

Starting point is 01:47:13 Like I say this all the time, there was a point in my career at Barstool where so many comments about me were like very, very mean. And like I would, I just thought to myself, I'm not going to, like, I'm just going to stop reading them because I don't want, I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but I think like probably if there's like some guy, and these are also people that are commenting super mean to me on Twitter. So that guy probably is more mad at himself. I guess he doesn't like himself and he's just deflecting that onto me to be mean to me.

Starting point is 01:47:40 So I'm telling the girls that I'm, I always tell them, even off camera, I'm telling them if someone is being mean to you, calling you, let's say a whore for being only fans, they're probably just jealous that they can't do what you do, that they don't have that opportunity to do what you do. Because let me tell you, the money they make and what they do, it's, it's unbelievable. Only fans, it's a crazy platform. And if you, and anyone that would make fun of them for doing that, I just think is crazy. They're, they're, they're geniuses.

Starting point is 01:48:06 I often say they're geniuses and they're literally geniuses. Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, people will call you a whore. They will call you a fat. They will call you a piss baby or whatever. But a lot of that is on them. It's on them. I've never, I've, I've often said this. I've never wanted to talk shit about somebody that I didn't care about, if that makes sense.

Starting point is 01:48:31 That you, yeah, you didn't have some like, you know, there wasn't some intrigue. Yes. If there's like, I'll, I'll, I'll often see like maybe a, maybe a do she looking dude with a really hot girlfriend that he's tatted up, but oh my God, this fucking guy. Yeah. Like the only fans girls is one thing I say, they love to fuck the guys. The only fans uptick is huge for the tattoo community. They're all banging tattooed guys.

Starting point is 01:48:52 Wow. Yeah. It's crazy. What is that? You think I don't tattooed guys. Dude, you'd be shocked. And I'll say this, a tattooed girl, pasty skin. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 01:49:03 That Boo Radley skin. You're out on a girl tattoo lady. You're out on a girl tattoo, like a full sleeve. You don't find that attractive. Oh yeah. Yeah, I do. I mean, I like that. You know, if there's a pasty like, like, uh, you know, some girl who's just like, oh,

Starting point is 01:49:19 dang, I'm, oh, you know, fuck, I'm ready. Yeah. They, they, they were, they were intimidating gals, but the dudes, they, the girls love tattooed guys. Every guy they're fucking is, they got, they're basically their dickest tattooed. We can also tattoo crazy stuff around your wiener that makes it seem awesome. You could tattoo like, uh, large dick, you know, four inches ahead, you know, like, like, like, uh, you know, stop, you know, turn around here for more. Dude, have you ever seen the show Jigalos by any chance on Showtime?

Starting point is 01:49:48 Oh, it's fantastic. It's great television. It was like a lie. It was basically a, I think a fake reality show that was on Showtime. I found it after dark one night in high school. And just these four Jigalos hanging out in Vegas and fucking chicks doing their job. One of the guys on that show, Nick Hawk, he had the tattoo where he was basically almost like Venom from the Spider-Man movies

Starting point is 01:50:05 was taking over half his body. So like all of this was tattooed just black, like Venom was taking over him and it went all the way down to the tip of his dick. Like a little bit of your shaft was tattooed, full shaft. Wow. Yeah. You know, a lot of men that are secretly gay will ask their wife to get like, um, um, butt cheeks tattooed around their vagina.

Starting point is 01:50:29 Really? Yeah. I guess, I guess it kind of makes sense, you know? Yeah. A vagina tattoo sounds pretty rough though. That's almost worse than a dick tattoo and a dick tattoo and over a fat you gotta say hard for. Or they'll have them write like, this is a butt and like point at it or something. You know, anyway, I just, it's not down there.

Starting point is 01:50:46 It's up there. Yeah. It's just interesting. Um, what are some like moments like working with like as a sidekick with Caleb? What has it been like? Has there been some unique moments? Like he told us about a time when you guys got to hang out with Aaron Rodgers all day. Um, because yeah, we only see that.

Starting point is 01:51:04 Oh, that you guys. Yeah. That's my phone background. Wow. Dude, I mean, like I can't, I've watched that clip a bunch of times from the show, but like Caleb said, he was just the coolest, the coolest person I've probably ever come in contact with. He was amazing. And he was, as Caleb said, he was like old school, cool.

Starting point is 01:51:20 It almost felt like you were hanging out with Frank Sinatra. He just had that vibe about him. He was just the coolest guy and just amazing. We hung out with him, drank for hours and could not have been nicer and just, he was a joy. But yeah, we've had some weird, some weird ones. I mean, in the last year, I would say the two craziest things that we've done, thanks to Caleb and just on the conversation, I guess, I fucking sang rock star with Nickelback on stage.

Starting point is 01:51:43 That was sick. And then I want to be a rock star. And um, yeah, no, I mean, the biggest one, which like, I still don't even let my brain think about his fucking, we had a Drew Barrymore on Sunday conversation and kissed Drew Barrymore. Oh, that's right. You did, huh? Fucking Drew Barrymore.

Starting point is 01:51:56 Did they make you do anything before? Like, did they test your mouth? Did they swab you? Did they like, frisk your jowls or whatever for anything? So Drew walked in and I've always been a massive Drew Barrymore fan. Probably my favorite actress. I'm obsessed with Drew Barrymore. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:52:10 She's like the hot McCauley Cole. Me and my mom have been watching wedding singer together since I was a baby. I love Drew Barrymore. Just hearing her voice first, I heard her voice. I was so starstruck. And then Caleb, so Caleb, he has to be this thing. He says, we wrote a quick script at the end. We're going to talk to Drew about it.

Starting point is 01:52:25 She walks in, you say, okay, Drew, you and Glenn, you're going to do a quick skit at the end. You're going to pretend you guys are at a restaurant in Australia because I was dressed like an Australian man. And then it's saying, Drew says, oh, no, I don't want to eat. What I want is you. And then it's like, go in for a kiss. And we obviously tell her before, you don't have,

Starting point is 01:52:42 you guys don't have to kiss, but just like, get up and like, pretend to go in for a kiss. But do whatever you want. And then we're doing it. This park got cut. We're shooting the whole time and the whole time sitting there saying, what's going to happen? What's going to happen here?

Starting point is 01:52:54 And before I forgot what Caleb asked her, but she was basically saying in her acting career, she's never wanted to fake things. And as I'm telling myself, does this mean that Drew Barrymore is about to kiss me right now? And the way she was talking, she kept saying that she never fakes things in acting. And we started reading it.

Starting point is 01:53:10 And as you see there, she got up out of her chair, and then came up and sat still like right in front of me. And then said in the line, and then she went in for a kiss. And then we kissed and I just said to myself, is that I just fucking kiss Drew Barrymore. That's otherworldly. Drew Barrymore is that Drew Barrymore's more of a threshold. It's fucking Drew Barrymore, dude.

Starting point is 01:53:28 And then we fucking, Caleb told her, well, not that we just did this for fun. We had to, we had, as you see in the clip too, we had to like get a shot of us both going in directly. So we had to get the cameras closer. So we did, we had to shoot it again and she did it again. I kissed her twice. Now the second time you have to feel like

Starting point is 01:53:43 you're in like a little relationship. I did, I said to myself, am I about to go to dinner with Drew Barrymore? Am I about to, am I about to date Drew Barrymore? I would be so down to date Drew Barrymore. Like so, so, so down to date Drew Barrymore. Oh man. And I know I was pretty excited when she posted on Instagram.

Starting point is 01:53:58 I think she posted that clip and she tagged me before Caleb. No big deal. She seems really cool. She seems like she's gotten into the, like the podcast social media space. Like she gets it. You know, I think there's some people that are like getting really late to the train of like being okay

Starting point is 01:54:14 with doing social media. She was so nice. And I will say, which is kind of shocking. Now we've never really had a mean guest per se. I think as the guests get bigger and bigger, I'm noticing there's a reason why they get, why they're so big. And I think it's because they're just like good people.

Starting point is 01:54:28 Everyone is just so nice. There's really no one that's mean. Not that I want to be mean, but like, they're all just exceedingly nice. Like overbearingly nice. She was amazing. Like Drake was so nice to us. Rogers was so nice to us.

Starting point is 01:54:41 Yeah, he told us about that. What about, who was one that you didn't get to spend time with? So there's a, there's a difference between, a lot of them will be, well, like Caleb said, when he was on here, like, they'll book it. Our broken people will book it. And then they'll just be in and out. Like Ice Cube walked in and walked out.

Starting point is 01:54:59 Kodak Black walked in and walked out. Then people we've hung out with and we hung out with. Rogers a lot. Drake took us to dinner. Who were some other good ones we just broed down with? Let's see. Drew, Drew left after, but I mean, there was Drew Brownmore.

Starting point is 01:55:14 She, she's largely, Steven A left after. What are some other good hangs we had? Michael Irvin hung out with us for a little bit. But. Yeah, he seems really entertaining. I would like to see Paul, I would like to see on there, Joey B would be good. Oh, Joe Barrow.

Starting point is 01:55:30 Yeah. Yeah, I think he'd be great. My current dream one, I think, is probably Larry David. Yeah. I think Larry David would not only be, like a lot of a few guests are mean to me, which is fine. I don't really care.

Starting point is 01:55:41 I think Larry David would both be mean to me and Caleb, and he would just kind of take it over, which I think would be hilarious. Yeah. And I think kind of my other, I know he's going, he's going through stuff right now, but I think Jamie Fox would be really funny. I think Jamie Fox would be a great one.

Starting point is 01:55:52 So I guess those are my current Whitewells. Yeah, I think, who else? I would love to have on here is Quaid, Randy Quaid. Ooh. I think it would be amazing. You guys, Dustin Poirier would be great on your show. I think Caleb might try to get him next year. Randy Quaid, where'd you get that from?

Starting point is 01:56:10 He's just like, he's just so, I just, I don't know. I just wonder about his journey, what he's been up to. He's such like this iconic actor and played such an iconic character in a national lampoon. I don't know. I think I would just be intrigued. Would he be your acting world, Whitewell? No, I'd probably go Julia Roberts first.

Starting point is 01:56:32 Respect. Who doesn't love Julia Roberts? God, dude, if I, oh, if she only knew what I would love to, if I just, I just want to sit on a porch with her somewhere and watch her read something. And watch that like a sweet tea with her for some reason. I could see her enjoying her sweet tea. I don't think she'd let me sit that close to her,

Starting point is 01:56:47 but that would be fine. I picture a porch, I picture a large porch, rocking chairs back and forth, like maybe the distance where I right now, Julia Roberts would be a cool one. I really would, I really would say for myself, I think in the actress realm, Drew Brownmore would have been my pick. I do believe that.

Starting point is 01:57:01 I mean, obviously, like Sandler would be cool. Oh yeah, Sandler, Channing Tatum, I think would be good. Tatum. Tatum. Who else? But yeah, my top right now is like Larry David, Jamie Foxx, Sandler, yeah, would be my top three. I met Trump at the UFC's.

Starting point is 01:57:17 Oh yeah, just like last week in Miami, right? Yeah. How was that? It was interesting, man. I mean, you're like, you know, I mean, I love being at UFC, right? So it's like, for me, it is literally, it's like being, like you ever been baptized or whatever? Yeah, I got baptized.

Starting point is 01:57:34 It's like that. Don't recall it, but yeah. I mean, I feel like though I've never been to UFC, but just the vibe of it, how they just have everybody there. It just seems like one big, I guess, for you, obviously, just an interesting VIP party. It's a who's, it's almost like, like the Oscars for cool guys, if that makes sense.

Starting point is 01:57:52 It feels like it's the who's who of actually who has some fucking nuts, you know, that's what it feels like a little bit. And I'm not even saying me, but it feels like, you know, that's the energy that Dana has, you know? Yes. You know, I got to talk to him for like maybe 12 minutes, just even talk about like some work stuff. And like, you know, when he's had a lot of great success

Starting point is 01:58:12 and what he was sharing and stuff like that. And so that was really cool. How to work with advertisers, some business stuff. But then like kid rock is there he rolls in with Trump, you know, we're in like Dana White's dress green room. Right. And I've been trying to do some like, maybe some social media stuff with UFC.

Starting point is 01:58:31 So it was my first time like doing some of that. But I get to be backstage by the fighters, you know, it's like you're getting baptized, but right when you come up, two dudes are beating the fuck out of each other. Right. Yeah. So it's like that, bro. And yeah, there's just so much going on.

Starting point is 01:58:45 You turn this way. Somebody said because they've, you know, they're, they're going through defeat and agony this way. Somebody's a hero this way. They're, you know, they, somebody just flat line this way. There's like some ring model trying on a new top this way. There's Joe Burrow in the boats of boys. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:59:04 Just Jefferson was there, I think. Yeah. I saw a bunch of people there. This way there's just some lady that's there that has the biggest tits ever. Right. And it's like she has some jack dude is literally carrying one of her tits.

Starting point is 01:59:14 Probably tatted up. Oh, he was so tatted. Of course he was. And she can't even carry both tits. So she's balanced and he's literally carrying the other. I want to be that guy. I want that job. Oh, it was that.

Starting point is 01:59:23 So it just, there's so much going on. But then Trump rolled in and it was just interesting. You know, you got, I'd never met a president before and I'd never met Donald Trump before. Now don't take us the wrong way, but he, did he know who you were? No, he didn't. His son knows, knows me, Donald Jr. And I don't know if his other son Eric knew or not, but it was

Starting point is 01:59:44 just interesting, you know, like him and Mike Tyson rolled in at the same time. I'm assuming him, he's going to this event. Now everybody's going to just be there and he's going to have to say, kind of make it seem like he knows you no matter who you're talking to, because he, where he is, everybody is, I guess, of notoriety. Now, as a, as a person that gets to go to those things, do you,

Starting point is 02:00:00 would you say you're more excited going into the night to see the fights or just the spectacle of it? Oh, I think the fights for sure. Yeah. I've never been to one where you're that close up, that close up, that seems like kind of a, once you go there, you can't sit, can't sit up high. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:00:16 I mean, I think I, I would just see the fights, but it definitely, I felt real fortunate, you know, to go and yeah, you're just seeing these guys and like, when they're putting it on the line, you know, like, I think in a lot of ways, comedians, strippers, fighters, you know, anybody that does something that puts themselves out there, they're, you're all trying to gain, like, to be seen in some way, you know, some, you're all using something you have to attract, to get acceptance kind of in a way.

Starting point is 02:00:51 100%. I mean, that's, I mean, I've never done setup. That's one thing I always tell myself. If I ever go to a comedy club or my friends send a clip of somebody doing stand up, I will never say anything bad about anybody. If you have the balls to get up there, all power to you. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:01:05 I think all power to you. Yeah. That's how I am about fighters, I think, because it's just so, like, I always had a tough time defending myself when I was a kid. And so, you know, I didn't feel like I had protection and shit. So you get to see these guys who were doing it and then, and find out the different reasons that they're doing it.

Starting point is 02:01:20 And it's all, to me, it's real fascinating. Did you get into a lot of fights growing up? No. I got into maybe six fights. Ooh. That's hot. And we had a lot of brothers in the area too, serving now. And then a brother will flare up out of nowhere, you know, and

Starting point is 02:01:34 you'll be in a fight. But, but yeah, but it was, it was, it was interesting. Yeah. And Trump's just like, you're good. How are you doing? You're doing good. In president mode. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:01:46 You're great. You're doing great. Your parents are doing good. It's with the parents. It was just, he's so like, he said, you know, I was like, my dad's been dead for like 22 years. And he's like, but before that he was doing great. He said, you know what, he was, he was doing great before that.

Starting point is 02:02:03 He's so funny. I kind of like, I was like, you know, I appreciate that. That was worth the price of admission. That was better than any fight you're going to see. But yeah, he's, yeah, he's just funny. But it was fun though, man. It was just, that was, that was a spectacle. And, uh, you had to get to meet like Joe Bro and then to get to

Starting point is 02:02:19 listen to Dana and get to just be in the, to see all the fans. It was great. Um, what else? Let's get into some news. What do we got Zachy? This is the story we were talking about earlier. There's a teacher in Oregon who's on leave right now because he assigned the students in class to write their sexual fantasy

Starting point is 02:02:37 for a report. Did he not check with anybody else before he did this? You can read it for yourself right here. You zoom in there. Can you read it? Yeah. For those students who are absent, you'll write a short story or paragraph or two stories of sexual fantasy that will have no

Starting point is 02:02:54 penetration of any kind or oral sex. So no way of passing an ICD. You will choose three items, romantic music, candles, massage oil, feather or boa flavored syrup to use in your story. Your story should show that you can show, uh, how you go about receiving love and affection without having sex. Uh, I don't think that's that bad, right?

Starting point is 02:03:17 It's only worth 10 points it says. 10 points for, I wonder how much of the whole semester though, but that's not horrible. I mean, you know, there is no, I guess if you have to say no penetration or oral sex, that it's not that great. We were in school, but that sounds kind of fun. Yeah. Look, I think I'm not sure.

Starting point is 02:03:34 Like I think 40 years ago, I could see them doing this in school. This sounds like something you'd read out of the 70s that happened, you know, like when like it was more like free love, and it was like, you know, tell us a, you know, write a, a soft core romance novel, unless they've been reading something like this in school. I mean, it's interesting because all kids are thinking about it

Starting point is 02:03:56 this age or what a lot of them are occupied by is sexual thoughts and energy. Fact. 100%. Like you have people, there's some kids, you pat them on the back hard enough and they will ejaculate. Yeah. You know, and so you, it's like that's just what's going on

Starting point is 02:04:16 in their bodies. So I wonder if there is good ways to do, to create like positive sexual works that you're doing in school. If there is going to be one, I mean, I guess it's that. There's, there's, there's no, there's no penetration or oral. You could do a romantic, a romantic tune, maybe some of the weekend or something like that.

Starting point is 02:04:36 That's always fun. And then yeah, they mentioned the flavored syrup, the foods, maybe they could throw in some oysters. They don't mention oysters there. They could throw in some oysters. Yeah. It's not a bad idea. Just maybe a home date, get some oysters, shuck them

Starting point is 02:04:48 yourselves, get horny through that, throw on the tunes. That could be a paragraph or two for that class. Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah, that would be interesting. And now I'll tell you this, everybody's going to show up to school to, to re listen to other people's, but is it going to lead to people, you know, sending each other, you know, some people doing semen on a piece of paper

Starting point is 02:05:11 and folding it up and, you know, giving it some, or is it going to, you know, that roar shark. Where are they going to come from here in the stories in class? Right. Maybe there's a way to tell it properly. I would imagine you can't really tell it properly though in school.

Starting point is 02:05:26 I hope that's also not, not a project you're reading that loud. That sounds like a teacher only. But if the teacher only is reading it to me, that has hella per vibes, dude. And then how do you know who's getting an A and who's getting a D? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:05:40 What differentiates that one? Yeah. And if anybody gets a D, dude, that guy's going to jail. Yeah. Maybe the most beautiful girl in class is walking out with an A plus and I'm walking in there with the D. It's not a good look, even though my grammar may even better.

Starting point is 02:05:53 Dude, I remember somebody threatening a Spanish teacher in our bathroom and, and threatening to beat the shit out of him if they didn't get a B and he gave my B. Oh, really? I wonder how often that, I wonder how often stuff like that actually works with teachers. My high school, my school there was like, um, we had

Starting point is 02:06:13 tests at the end of every trimester that was worth about 30% of our grade. And then the average of those three trimesters was half of it. Then the other half was comps and the end of your test would be 50% of our grade. Yeah. So my buddy literally at the end of senior year or

Starting point is 02:06:28 junior year, whenever you're applying to colleges, he was so, I was bad at math. He took it to a new level. He would be, he would truly average. I think his average was like a 45. He was an idiot. One of my best friends. Oh yeah, my friend.

Starting point is 02:06:39 Great voice. Great singer. One of my best friends. But he was really bad at math. Great singer. Great singer now. Yes. Two times seven is nine.

Starting point is 02:06:47 He's got a great, he sings like grudge, 90s. But, um, yeah. And, uh, he legitimately wrote a paragraph to the teacher at the end on the last, um, thing saying, I really don't want to go to community college. Like please, for the love of God, pass me. You got passed. Wow.

Starting point is 02:07:02 Yeah. There's something about it. You know, to get things done. And some people are able to do that. I think in this instance, man, I, I feel like this is a, something you do in college. I feel like it's a little risqué to do it in high school. Um, I think it would be fine, probably, but then also from a

Starting point is 02:07:18 high school kid, dude, I'm jerking off, dude. You know, the second I get this assignment, I'm the whole time I'm doing it. You know, if a girl, if I try to write homework with a friend, I'm going to try, you know, I was on a show. This is ninth period class, not a first period class. I want to go directly home after this. Not a first.

Starting point is 02:07:35 Imagine getting this first period. You got to hear some erotica at nine a.m. Yeah. Yeah. A little bathroom break. Yeah. You just roll another hall with a mouth full of sprees. This has got to be ninth period.

Starting point is 02:07:45 This has got to be last period. Dude, you have a mouth full of fucking sweet tarts. You're just rocked up. And then everyone's probably walking around the hallway saying who had the best sex story of the day. And everyone's exchanging sex stories. This seems to be a ninth period type of thing. Wow.

Starting point is 02:07:58 That's interesting. And also it's like, who could become a graphic novelist? You know, and this is where they start and this is where they learn that they have that ability. What else we got, Zach? Well, you mentioned the weekend. This is a big deal. AI generated a fake song of Drake in the weekend, which is,

Starting point is 02:08:14 I guess a lot of people in the industry are very concerned by this, obviously, because I can't play the song, but if you hear it, it's pretty, it sounds like it's an actual track from these guys. Really? So someone has said AI create a fake weekend Drake collab. Yes. Well, you gotta shut AI down, dude.

Starting point is 02:08:30 It's freaking me out. Okay. So the people are just saying, hey, make this video. Make this song. It can do it. It can. I can't confirm. I actually, I don't know if he wants me to say this because

Starting point is 02:08:39 we didn't put it in. I don't see why it would matter. I don't know if he showed you this either, but for Drake, Caleb made, used AI to make a Drake something conversation song and then he played it for him. And he like enjoyed it. Like it sounded like Drake and it was a full song that Caleb wrote and it was a full Drake song.

Starting point is 02:08:57 It was like a legit rap. So Caleb wrote it though. So AI didn't write it. No. Caleb wrote it, but like on whatever the technology was, it was literally sounded like Drake doing a whole rap. There was a beat rap. It was like Sunday conversation.

Starting point is 02:09:11 Shout out Caleb Glenn and like all that. So what could we put in right now? Can we put something in an AI? No, we could put in like a prompt, like a writing prompt. Can we put like, have a, Glennie Bowles give a wedding speech. You could do something like that. Yeah. The chat GPT thing.

Starting point is 02:09:28 Yeah. That thing can. I experienced this for the first time like last month. Yeah. We think about a lot about this stuff. It's just like, I find that the stuff you get a lot of times, it just feels like a dumb version of something. It feels like kind of a rip off of the AI stuff of whatever

Starting point is 02:09:44 you're creating. Yeah. If I say can I get a Glennie Bowles like restaurant review or whatever it's like, it's going to be no personality. Right. God damn computer doing it. So I definitely get it.

Starting point is 02:09:53 But I mean, if you want to, I feel like if you're writing in work toad, you can probably pull it off. Like, you know, when people start off work emails saying kind regards. What's your point? Or hey, all stuff like that. Maybe people like that. Like people working for tax firms can get away with it. Right.

Starting point is 02:10:08 Do this. Do these taxes maybe? Yeah. Like a wedding speech right now. If we're going to have me do a wedding speech, I want to want to imagine, actually, I'm going to be the best man in a wedding in October for the first time. So I got to give a speech.

Starting point is 02:10:17 I've been thinking about it. I want to personalize it to the couple. You know, right? I want to make it make it homie. Let's see what it would be. Do you want to read it? I'll read it. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:10:28 Yeah, I mean, read some. Yeah. Oh, I can just go. Sorry. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Glennie Balls. Today is a special day because we're here to celebrate the love between these two amazing people.

Starting point is 02:10:37 I feel honored to be standing here in front of all of you to give this speech. But let me tell you, I am a little nervous. I mean, I'm used to being in front of cameras before, but this is a whole different ballgame. First of all, I want to congratulate the happy couple. You guys are awesome. And I'm so happy for you both. I remember when you first told me about you two,

Starting point is 02:10:53 and I could just tell right away that you were meant to be together. You just had this connection, this spark that's undeniable. And now here you are about to embark on this amazing journey together as husband and wife. This, to me, this, what does it feel like to you so far? It feels like a cookie cutter wedding, a wedding speech. Right. And it goes, I have to admit, when I was asked to give this speech, I wasn't sure what to say.

Starting point is 02:11:15 I mean, what do you say to a wedding? But then I realized it's actually pretty simple. You just have to speak for the heart, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Yeah, this keeps going. Yeah, it sounds like somebody trying to get through an essay that has like the original, like four good sentences. As someone that has to do a best man's speech in October, I might use this and just like add a little bit, like find different things that I put in there,

Starting point is 02:11:36 because that does sound pretty damn good. It's a good point. And now that's one thing about just life, you know, it's like, um... It's doing one in your voice now, in the voice of Theo Vaughn, because I think the more search someone has online, the better it's going to be at writing one. Okay, I'll read the beginning. Go back. What's up, y'all?

Starting point is 02:11:56 It's your boy Theo Vaughn in the house. Oh, it's a cab. Dude, that's horrible. I got to say, I'm honored to be here today celebrating the union of these two beautiful people. Y'all know I've been to some wild weddings in my time, but this one takes the cake. And speaking of cake, I hope there's going to be some good eats up in here tonight. I'm going to cry.

Starting point is 02:12:14 Yeah, brother. I think I switched it. Brother, it made me sound like a frickin' black guy. I mean, I appreciate that. Dude, I love that. You know, I don't know if you hit, like, you know, shift B and frickin' gave me the hashtag bowl. People send this stuff.

Starting point is 02:12:30 Well, I can say people, fans send in AI Theo Vaughn voice every day, every single day. Yeah, this just seemed, to me, it's fine, but it's just like if you want, but you're all right that it gives you the bare bones of something. It feels like it'll give us a good, a good talking point, a list of talking points. And I literally may use that. It's a nice, it's a nice bare bones way to start. If I get married, I'll do it for vows. I think you, now this could definitely be a lot for if you're doing papers in college,

Starting point is 02:12:55 if you're doing something for the boss, like, or, you know, some pretty generic stuff where all you're doing is just kind of get checking a box anyway, where it should be literally sound computerized. It's better than sound computerized. Right. 100%. That's a good call for anybody that's still having to do like just basic stuff that doesn't even really matter, but it does because it's checking a box.

Starting point is 02:13:13 I feel like that could probably be really something of use to you, but then more than ever, having some sort of personality is going to be a value. Yeah. I mean, there's no reason why if I was doing a normal, let's say I had to report to a higher up after a good week of work, why don't I just put in there great week of work for everybody on the team with Melissa, Kelsey, and Bill, and then just copy and paste it, personalize it with myself, bang, bang, boom, send it out, I'm done. Every Civil War paper from school is going to be done here.

Starting point is 02:13:45 It's like any war, any history papers, it's a wrap. Yeah. Does it do like stuff like that? Can you just write? Can I have a 300-word summary of the Civil War? Yeah. Whoa. They should do the sexual fantasy prompt to it and have it write for the kids.

Starting point is 02:14:00 See now, if you're on there though, and let's say someone on there is on there in Wisconsin and types in the same exact thing, are you getting the same exact answer? So let, yes, that's the problem. Let's do the sexual thing for the children, and that's, somebody's going to clip that out, that's going to be the bane of my existence. Let's do the sexual thing for the children. I'll go down with you. Bro, no, we just fucking, bro, it's so hard to talk anymore because people are just making

Starting point is 02:14:27 everything out of any moment. I have to manually write it because it's a screen grab, I can't copy and paste it. Write back on this towards the end. Give us another topic, and then we'll get back to it at the end. What else happened? What's something big in the headlines? Oh, I saw that there's that Chinese Sun. Did you see that article somewhere, Zach?

Starting point is 02:14:48 You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, Chinese artificial sun breaks new world record by burning hot plasma for nearly seven minutes. Yeah, this is interesting. That's some Spider-Man 2-type shit. That's what Doc Ock was doing. Get us to the beginning of it, Zach. All right.

Starting point is 02:15:02 Yes, you read that correctly. The country has a huge device, China has a huge device that has been able to generate a plasma temperature of 160 million degrees Celsius for 20 seconds in the past, right? So that's as hot as the sun, right? I would say so. That does not sound good. If not, it's still really hot, but that's 20 seconds in the past. Can you zoom up?

Starting point is 02:15:24 Zoom down, sorry. According to the Global Times, the East performed a high power stable, steady state, long pulse, high confinement mode, plasma operation for a whopping 703 seconds now. That's like six minutes. Yeah. Holy shit. Bro, can you imagine? That's how long it takes me to drive to the fucking deli and stuff, dude.

Starting point is 02:15:47 That's fucking insane. Yeah. That's enough time for you to drive to a deli. A hundred six minutes? So imagine, say it's like, dude, if China makes a fake sun, I mean, that's that's the biggest weapon on the planet. But far, obviously, unreal. You give me fake sun against nuclear weapon.

Starting point is 02:16:03 I'm going fake sun. What if the nuclear weapon theoretically used to disintegrate, would it just disintegrate into the fake sun? Well, dude, imagine they send a fake sun to fight a real sun, marvels out of business. What are we going to strike back with the moon? No. No, the moon, I think is low key. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:16:20 No disrespect, but he's already, I've heard, you know, here we're going back though. People said a lot of things about him, but um, fire always beats ice. Which is a problem for us and they're they're first to the jump on fire. But imagine though, you're already working all day in China and now they're like, guess what? The day's over. We got another day. The sun's back.

Starting point is 02:16:39 The sun's back. People are like, what the fuck? But it's not big enough to go to go to the whole country. It's going to be like eating your town specifically. Just two extra hours per town. You're Beijing just getting fucked up tonight with my son. And then it goes over to out and even nowhere. Well, imagine all the school kids are like, you are my son, Shen, my only son, Shen.

Starting point is 02:17:00 Do you get home? It's going to change all the songs. Dude, they can't have another song. That would be unfair. The itty bitty spider went up the water's bow out and turned the sun. Yeah. Two times. But now spiders me anyway.

Starting point is 02:17:15 It's a tough day for owls in China, huh? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Owls, dude. Owls out. Owl of business, bro. It's a rat. What are some of the nocturnal animals?

Starting point is 02:17:27 I don't know many. But dude, if they have a fake fucking son, Zach, yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of a checkmate. I don't know what's bigger than a checkmate of a fake son, which I guess theoretically is a real son. But when you can, right, but when you can create your, your, your people to work 20, when you have like no night, when you can have people work all day and then have a second group of people.

Starting point is 02:17:48 So your GDP is going to double. So you're, you're saying this son is more of, it's going to get more people to work. I'm thinking the son itself, just having a second son as a weapon in itself. Yeah. I mean, you could say, say like they, they don't want us to get any sleep. That's their first. It's like, we all go to bed and they're like, guess what, Nevada, here's a son at night. You're like, oh, shit.

Starting point is 02:18:06 Here comes the Chinese. I'm envisioning this is just like a burning thing. If they're just throwing a ball of 160 million temperature Celsius at us, we're kind of fucked. I don't know if you could throw a son. Well, I think you send it. Yeah. I feel like it's, it's a good guess, right? It's going to be sponsored by happy dad, I bet.

Starting point is 02:18:23 Maybe. I have no idea. Yeah. I have the fantasy if you want to read it. All right. So I, I abridged it slightly, but it's just write a short story in a paragraph or two. No penetration of any kind or oral sex. Choose three items to use.

Starting point is 02:18:39 So if anyone wants to read it and what you read is your world. She walked dimly. She walked to the dimly lit room and this is a child. Sorry. And I just want to preface. This is a child or your student writing this to you. You were the substitute teacher or you are the teacher. Yes.

Starting point is 02:18:55 And you've sent, you've had the kids write this paper. She walked into the dimly lit room wearing nothing but a silk robe and high heels. As she approached the bed, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small vibrating egg. She turned it on and placed it on her, on her clit moaning softly on her CLIT as the pleasure pulsed through her body. Next, she picked up a feather and trailed it lightly over her skin, shivering at the sensation.

Starting point is 02:19:21 Finally, she grabbed the bottle of warm oil and poured it over her BREASTS, rubbing it in with her hands. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the sensations, lost in her own pleasure. Oh, sir, I need to go to the restroom. Dude, I can't believe they dropped that four little word in there. Bro, that, you know how many kids are with the whole past? Dude, that was, that was also, that was erotic. GPT's horny.

Starting point is 02:19:44 Yeah. Because that AI guy is horny. That was way more erotic than I think a lot of kids are turned in. But you know what is almost kind of nice about this? The feather lightly over the skin. You know, that is, this is something that I kind of miss. I miss reading in the pornography magazine, you would read the article, because all you had was an image.

Starting point is 02:20:03 So you had to read to make the image come to life, you know. Yeah. The few, I will say the few times I've not, I haven't been recently, but back in the day it was a bit of Reddit jerk off guy and Reddit, there was a, there's like a whole thing called gone wild on Reddit where people just like post nudes nonstop. But I remember there was a gone wild, I forgot what it was called, maybe gone wild story or something like that. People would just write like erotic stories, they kind of get you going.

Starting point is 02:20:30 They rev you up. Damn. Oh yeah. Well, there's something, yeah, you read it, you're like, because you know you have to get to the next sentence. So your brain know you have to use your brain literally to get there. Each word is another little moment and it's keeping you, dude, I mean, I remember I would go to the library in our town and they had those, um, those art books from like the 1500s

Starting point is 02:20:54 or something. Oh yeah. With the, with the Rubinesque women. Oh yeah. The Rubinesque women. Laying by a stream, there's a little angel above her. Absolutely. And when she's having a little, uh, little cut of pear, a little cut of apple or something

Starting point is 02:21:09 and she just got, you know, if that's your supply, you gotta get high on that supply. Gosh. And that's all. Some of her tit is even heading for the river bank, you know, she's right on that river bank where it's like, damn, that river is about to get that tit and jealous, dude. But yeah, that's a big thing with, I guess sex, if you're not actually having sex, imagination of it is such a big deal. And I guess through erotic stories, you just pop it off with imagination.

Starting point is 02:21:31 Well, that's kind of what I think at the actual video pornography kills a lot of times. And it's not a judgment against anybody that, I mean, I've, I've had addiction to it in my life. Um, but it does kill that part of your imagination and the imagination is what activates your cells kind of, I love the man. I will actually say that people may think I'm lying here. I would say probably half the time I masturbate, I think I'm going imagination. Wow.

Starting point is 02:21:58 Yeah. Amen, brother. I'll fucking. I, I enjoy the imagination, uh, your, uh, masturbate. I do. Oh, dude, I used to take that book and I've discussed it before and I would literally put my wiener in the book, in the library, in the book, in the library and close the book on it as hard as I could.

Starting point is 02:22:15 That's got you going. Well just, there was just something about just the pressure of it and I would, well, it was so hard to find it because usually they had a picture of like a, bring up breast breast. Oh, I guess it's the closest you could get to, to the beautiful lady from 1400. Yeah, breast art from 1400, bring it up. That's very fair. That's very, very fair, please.

Starting point is 02:22:35 So in your brain, you're just, you're just getting that as close as possible to the queen. Oh, I would actually love to see one of these photos. Yeah. There we go. Oh, look at that lady. But do by Riverbank. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 02:22:48 She's good. Actually, that's pretty nice stuff. She looks cute. There we go. There's a couple of them. I wonder how long the artist is sitting there doing this for. I don't know, but I definitely, uh, and is she just sitting there top of us the whole time.

Starting point is 02:23:00 Yeah. Yup. And do by Riverbank if you can. That's a party in the top left. Yeah. Now that's some angels in the woods. Sometimes some of that was hard to find a breast in because of you just, I want the immediate breast right by the river, you know, because I think the river also offered a way

Starting point is 02:23:23 you felt like you could escape once again, the public, yeah, public point. I want to see the tit and go. I want to be on my way. Um, but yeah, I would just close my body into that book because it was the only pornography that we had. It was what we had. Yeah. Earlier when you were mentioning that you would go five miles to get it together.

Starting point is 02:23:43 Your eyes and some porn. Yeah. That's all you got. That's, that's fair. And that was after that came out. So this was the first thing that I was at the libraries, man, when you would see it and it was good, man. It's just the best dude.

Starting point is 02:23:53 There's nothing. I've said many times on, on only stands, there's not many better things to see in some boobs. They're just awesome. Yeah. It's really just eases the soul, eases the mind, it's like finding a mystery, like finding the killer and who'd done it. Just see what they look like.

Starting point is 02:24:09 It's like mother nature's nuts, dude. Some good tits. It's really the best. It really is. Nothing, nothing, no dispute. Um, do you get a lot of invites to restaurants and stuff? Do people do that a lot? I feel like probably being a more Rubinesque male that a lot of people like, come here,

Starting point is 02:24:24 come eat here. You'll love this. But also having an appreciation for food. That's what I should say. Yeah. There's, there's definitely. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to.

Starting point is 02:24:33 No, dude. I don't care. I'm, I'm, I'm wearing my larger gentlemen. No worries. But I would say, um, yeah, I do get a good amount of food invites. I don't always want to go though. Cause there are some, there are sometimes where you get invited somewhere. It's like an awkward scenario.

Starting point is 02:24:41 Like you don't, you don't know. I'm assuming you go through the same thing where you don't know, um, you don't know exactly what's going to be presented to you. So I don't, I don't do it all too often. But there's definitely been times like, uh, a guy who I've seen like YouTube videos actually I was out in the Manhattan on Friday and the owner of Peter Luger's, I saw, he saw me and he was like, oh, come in whenever you want. Like that I'll do.

Starting point is 02:25:01 But there's, if there's a random place that I don't know the people and maybe I won't like yesterday, the chi shop, uh, the guy Dom, my friend knew. So those are experiences that are, that are fun, obviously. It's like verified. I also don't know if a lot of restaurants, I don't know if the food's good. Cause most of the people who do you have in me are people or employees of the restaurant sort of, they're obviously going to say their food's good. Right.

Starting point is 02:25:19 What if the food's not actually good? And then yeah, it's awkward. But, um, what, uh, do you think you'll ever end up maybe doing a food show or something like that? It would kind of fit, huh? I would love to. That's like, that's that. I guess that would kind of be the goal.

Starting point is 02:25:33 I just like, I like food TV. I really enjoy it. I, uh, I mean, I used to do a burger show at work for quite a while. There was a good period of like maybe three years where I was just not doing that great at work and I was always doing a burger show and I enjoyed it, but I probably did. I don't think I was that good at describing the burgers. I would like to see now that I'm so much more comfortable in front of a camera, how I would redo it and just make it more bag.

Starting point is 02:25:53 I would just put it down. I basically do like a Dave Peter review, but with burgers and definitely was just wildly less successful, obviously, but if they ever did a food show, I would like to do a way more, like higher, more higher produced, maybe trying more different cuisines that I haven't tried. Yeah. A lot of intrigue in that, like Indian food I would like to dive into, maybe some Thai. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 02:26:14 I'm really enjoying Mediterranean food. Yeah. Stuff like that. Just expand on the old palate. So I would definitely do a food show at the time for the time they were doing ice cream and only fans, but maybe down the road, I was, I do love food. Yeah. You got a palette for it, man.

Starting point is 02:26:28 And that's nice because some people, their tongue, they really, it's got more intel in it. Yeah. When I got, when I had COVID, I couldn't taste it and that kind of stung. Yeah. That was horrible. Did you, we might have talked about everything. We've been here a while, three hours.

Starting point is 02:26:46 Yeah. Um, did you ever been to a live taping of an only fans or pornography shoot? Dude, I have not. There's, I'm here. Is that something you would do or not? I think I don't really see the allure. There are some girls in LA right now that are actually trying to get me to go to one tomorrow, but I got to leave tomorrow.

Starting point is 02:27:07 So I'm not going to go, but they, he told me to come with so much fun. I don't really see the, the allure of it. Like if I'm not doing the fucking, I don't, why do I want to see somebody else do it? Yeah. I don't really see the allure there. And I'm assuming it's awkward. I mean, I've, for every porn person I've talked to, they make it seem like it's a pretty professional setting.

Starting point is 02:27:24 It doesn't sound fun to go to. There's no wanting in my brain to want to go to a porn set. I would, I don't want, I like to see how the cooking is crumbled in a kitchen, maybe not on the porn set. I'll enjoy the porn. I don't need to see how it's made. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:27:38 Yeah. Yeah. I feel you man. Um, I don't think the actors want us there either. Yeah. I think it's probably, yeah. I don't know if you're sitting over there. You want to be like, say you're chewing gum or something and they look over and they're

Starting point is 02:27:48 like, you know, then what? Yeah. They're getting, you're talking in their shot, talking in their backswing. Yeah. Or just like, yeah. And you blow a cum shot. Oh, bro. Never want to blow a cum shot.

Starting point is 02:28:00 And you gotta restart. Oh, are you cheer when somebody ejaculate? See that would be kind of cool actually. Yeah. There's a live audience. Like they're, that's the thing though. If you want to do a live. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:28:11 Go bills when somebody. Yeah. Someone jumps over the table. And I bet they, not that I bet, I would guarantee you porn companies did live audience or porn. They would pack it out. That's a great point. Huh. That could be what's next.

Starting point is 02:28:24 Yeah. Yeah. You never know. You never know what's next. Thanks for stopping into this cheese shop. Oh, dude. Thank you very much for having me. This was a great time.

Starting point is 02:28:32 I appreciate it. I had a great time. Thank you so much. Thanks for hanging out and just good to get to spend time with you, man. Um, yeah. I know we both love Caleb and getting to spend time around him and, um, he's up on diagram. Yeah. He's in the middle.

Starting point is 02:28:44 Yeah. There's something about him. I hope he stays alive too. Same, dude. I think, I hope all three of us stay alive. That would suck if we didn't. And if we die soon, I would, this clip will cut it pop off, I guess so. Hey, but yeah, yeah, I guess, you know, if it happens, if it happens, dude, uh, I love

Starting point is 02:29:01 you guys. Yeah. I love you guys. And, um, I guess my parents can have the money I have. I don't fucking know. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:29:10 How's your mother doing? Is she good? Yeah. Trying to get her off the old, off the old, off the old smoke and dude, she loves to smoke. Happens though. I don't know. That's the only thing I've never done. I've never, I've never smoked cigarettes.

Starting point is 02:29:21 Yeah. Good for you. My friends say the drunk cigarette though is super, super enticing. I've never done it. Hmm. Yeah. They were all, they was all pretty good when I had them. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:29:32 Um, Glennie Balls. Thanks for coming in, man. Dude, thank you again. Appreciate it. This is great. Thanks, brother. Yeah. But when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones

Starting point is 02:29:55 But it's gonna take a little longer

This Past Weekend - E441 Glenny Balls

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