This Past Weekend - E444 Will Sasso

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Will Sasso is an actor, podcaster and comedian. He is the co-host of the show “Dudesy”, a podcast controlled entirely by A.I. He is also known for his famous characters and impressions from MadTV, Curb Your Enthusiasm, United We Fall, and more.  Will Sasso makes a much anticipated return to This Past Weekend, catching up with Theo about what he’s been up to since their famous Christmas Special in 2018, starting a podcast controlled by A.I., almost getting sued by Tom Brady, memories from MadTV, glitter knees, gunfire sushi, and much more.  Will Sasso: https://www.instagram.com/willsasso/  Dudesy (an A.I. Podcast) https://www.youtube.com/c/Dudesy ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit  https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  ExpressVPN: Visit https://expressvpn.com/theo to get an extra 3 months free. Babbel: Visit https://babbel.com/theo to get 55% off your subscription. Zippix: Visit https://zippixtoothpicks.com and use code THEO to get 10% off your first order. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek&ab_channel=BishopGunn ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner

We've got some new merch items to tell you about the be good to yourself crew neck in teal It's frosty And we got the new hoodie in bitter sweet Plus we've got the root beer t-shirts from the root beer cartoon All that and more at theovonstore.com Today's guest is a phenomenal actor comedian human male Um, he is the co-host of the dude z podcast

He has been on here before He is he's really iconic with his impressions and just his general ability To make people feel joy. We're happy to have him back today's guest is my friend, mr. Will Sesame Oh, dude, good to see you again, man. Good to see you, man. Yeah, it's been a while. Pre-Pandy.

I know, huh? Yeah. You came in the podcast, man, and we had one of the best times ever was when- Yeah, man, that was- And we did the Christmas song. Yeah, all that weird shit. I remember, I see, you know, like,

you know, kids still, of course, you know, throw up clips and shit, and I'll see that every once in a while. I'll genuinely laugh my ass off. Me too. At how silly that was. Me too, man, it was so much fun. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, oh, dude, and you know what? I interviewed, since you've been on, I had Jesse Ventura on. Really? Yeah. Oh, I missed that. How was that? No, no, no, no, I did, I know that you did that.

I did not check it out, though. How was that? A night, it was a nightmare. He's, you gotta, like, watch every word you say, right? I mean, he talked for, here it is right there. He talked for seven, he talked for 1700 year, he talked for 1700 years to hours. Okay.

Yeah. It was unbelievable. He's like, you know, I drink four loco. He just kept going off. He's like, I drink four loco's, I drink, I drink six loco's, I drink four times six, I'll drink 24 loco's. And I love America, so I moved to Cuba, he said,

or something, it was like. He's in the Baja. Yeah, I don't even live in the continental United States anymore. I'm in the Baja. Yeah, that's what he said. Yeah. I'm down in the Baja now.

I wouldn't vote for either of them. Yeah, that was his whole thing, bro. The two-party system is, it's there in place to do what it does, and we're all indoctrinated. Yeah, he's like, I bought my American flag in China. But I went there myself to have it. It's the largest American flag in North America. Yeah, he kept saying, I join the,

I join the Hell's Angels as well. I'm a part time. Yeah, I just wanted free tickets to Ultimat to see the Stones. And back then, I was just, so I was mostly following the dad, and I said, I gotta go see the Stones. I was this far from the guy who got stabbed in the face. It was both the-

Wait, are we recording? Huh? Are we going? Yeah, we're going. Oh, good, good. Hello, everybody. Yeah. Will Sasso.

It was unbelievable. So we went, and he said, I only, I went one person to come and get me, meet my wife in the middle of the yard or whatever. Like, it was very, it was almost like you were trading. I was like, when I'm, you know, I imagine like how they traded Britney Grinder or whatever, for whatever.

It was like that. Like, meet me in the yard, no COVID, right? No, like, don't bring any COVID. Like, don't bring any guns. It was like- Wait, when you recorded with him? Yeah. Don't bring any COVID or guns.

He's like, no COVID, no guns. And we're like, all right. I don't think he knows how this works. It was just so bizarre. So then, the tour manager, my buddy, Bizzle goes and picks him up, and he said that, that Jesse just talked to him the whole way. Then he got to the interview.

I asked him, I think I said, it was very, it was very just like barely anything out of the gate and he just went. And he kept saying, you know, I gotta leave him. I'm about to get out of here. And then he would stay for 45 more minutes. That's awesome. And I hate to bash on him, but he was,

it was, he was, I can't tell if he was mentally, just kind of getting out there, or if he was just damn had lost. You know, or if he was just an egomaniac, you know? Yeah, I mean, he's lived so many fucking lives. I've never had the opportunity to meet the guy, but any time I watch him, you know, on anything, I'm just like, I don't know that I can.

It's one of those, you don't wanna meet your heroes kind of thing, cause he is, he is out there. He'll go from, you know, Halliburton orchestrated the BP oil spill. And then the next thing he says is like, you know what's really good is we were just tortillas with scrambled eggs. You should come over, would you like to sleep over?

I have a spare room that you'd really like. It's woodsy. I've sort of brought Minnesota to the Baja. I call it Baja Soda. Anyway, you'll really like the aesthetic. I don't know if I fucking, is he gonna kill me? I can't tell if I can't stand this man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I have some, are you, do you ever dine on long pig? That's what the cannibals call human being because it tastes like pork. Oh, I gotta go. I gotta go in four minutes. No, no, no, stick around. Just getting started anyway. The Gulf of Tonga, they dropped these mercenaries in there

and I was with the Navy SEALs. And of course I can hold my breath for 19 minutes. So that's why they brought me with them. They used to call me the snorkel, scuba. Yeah. The submarine before I was at the bottom. It's so crazy. It's just like being with him really.

Just fucking topic to topic. Oh, I couldn't get awarded. And it was the longest interview. It's a three hour interview. Oh my God. It was unbelievable, man. And we did it, like we kind of commandeered this, it was like a day's in or something

and they had a little meeting room in there. And so it was this Indian family that like owned it. So we told him, you know, like this guy, you know, we showed him pictures on the internet of Jesse and like, this is who's coming, you know? And so the whole family was like waiting by the door when he gave it. Like, I don't think they understood what was going on.

I think they thought it was like a diplomat or something. But anyway, he showed up and the cleaning lady kept kind of trying to sneak in and see if she could help in any way. You know, it was just so bizarre, dude. You have any orange crush? I'd love an orange crush. Let's get a couple of orange crushes.

Like a three hour, he's the kind of guy I want to like lock in a room with Alex Jones and like just give them a bottle of, you know, schnapps or something and see what happens. Like just, oh, they talk for seven and a half fucking hours. This is unbelievable. Just like sleeping here. Yeah.

At Gulf of Tonga, you know. Bohemian Grove. Anyway. Dude, what's interesting is to not end up in the, and some of those rabbit holes is absolutely crazy sometimes. But like when you get on the internet, but yeah, Jesse was crazy, man. He was like, I was a governor of Minnesota.

I was a, I sold sodas in Orange Grove. He's like, I sold sodas in Minna-Govina. He like, when everything started to get convoluted, like it was almost like there was like a little, something wrong in the matrix, you know? Like he was getting bad intel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He starts, he just completely starts glitching.

Yeah. Yeah, I was wrestling Bob Backland at the Philadelphia Spectrum. And I got a call from Hugo Chavez at Ringside, yeah. And Vince McMahon said, it's Hugo. And so, you know, so I hit Backland in the face with a chair so he could sell it. And he was outside the ring and then I went

and took the call and he said, we need you out here. We need, I need you to help negotiate with Castro. Are these, does this even line up? Time, wait here, was it? It was 1982, when do you think it was? I don't fucking know. Yeah, he does that shit, when do you think it was? Yeah, when do you, why don't you tell me?

It's what I, well, why don't you tell me if you're such a patriot? I don't know, I don't know, I wasn't, I was a Navy sea, I understand. Well, why don't you tell me? Were you there in the, you were there in the jungles of Laos? No.

You're not Laotian, I thought I read that about you on Wikipedia. No, I don't, what do you like, do you like orange soda or would you like a Mr. Pib? Excuse me, Miss, Mr. Pib? Yeah, yeah, it was unbelievable, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the longest day though, and he just,

and finally at the end, he's like, so I heard somewhere you're a comedian. Oh geez, like at the beginning. Hour three, he's so fast. And it starts out, he's like, how much, how much time do you have? He's like, I only have about 35 minutes or, just letting you know that after that I'm out of here.

Like one more thing before I go, and then he just rattled off to another echelon of complete, just eagle maniacal shit. And then he said he joined the hells, he joined the, he was a one percenter, right? Which is like, guess there's a motorcycling gang where you look it up. And kudos to them, dude,

cause I think we need more gangs in America, honestly. Gang gang, we need gangs. Yeah, people are like, what gang is left even? There's no more gangs to create. Yeah, social security's almost dead. That's almost over. That's a good gang. But it's, I feel like they're losing steam.

Social security? I mean, I feel like any day now, people are gonna start getting just blank checks sent to them, senior citizens. Well, that's fucking true. We are very close to collapse in every single way. Yeah, this guy's a one percenter. That's what he said.

I'm a one, I'm a one percenter. Yeah. That's a hells, oo, oo, oo. Yeah, he's like, I've driven past dead bison in South Dakota. I love that he didn't know. So you're a comedian. Yeah.

Tell me a joke. Yeah, tell me, oh, I thought, I thought you were Anderson Cooper. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just my meds kind of, they start balancing out around 435. Now I can see you're not Anderson Cooper.

He's like, I do sundowners early just to get it over with, you know, I do my sundowning from three to 430. It was unreal, man. Sundowning. And we had to, yeah, it was like, it was, it was, it was unbelievable. And he almost has, he walks like a Sasquatch kind of, he has that like, he has that,

he has that former bodybuilder. Like if you ever met like someone who was like, oh, this guy was a motherfucker in 1960s, 70s or whatever, meet like, you know, former NFLers and stuff. And it's like, they still have that gate where it's like, you're, you're 67 years old, but you could kick my fucking ass. Like you see that guy at like the grocery store where it's like,

and he's like, you know, just big, gnarled muscle hands and shit. Like Lou Ferrigno, if you see him. I saw him at the post office one time. And he's like, can I set this, he had his wife with him, he's like, I want to set the box down. And his wife's like, you hold the box.

It was some just box or shit, they were mailing somewhere. Yeah, they just, they lose the mass and keep the vascularity. They look like a, like a shorn chimp. Yeah. Yeah. Look at him lifting his shirt up there. Yeah, look at that. Wow.

Yeah. It's like, wow. I want, wow. Look at the, look at the abs on, he's got five abs there. That was Lou Ferrignos. That was his, that's why he could never beat Arnold. Yeah.

Because in Mr. Olympia, because Arnold had anywhere from six to eight abs. And Lou Ferrigno, no matter what he did, he always had that crown ab at the top. It's sort of looking over the other abs. Yeah. Yeah. He was drinking abs, Sam.

That's why. Yeah. That's why back then they didn't have protein shakes. You just chew on the steak. Yeah. You chew on your youngest son. Yeah. Just chew on his feet.

Yeah. Get your nutrients. Get that ab juice. Dude, how did bodybuilding even start? I wonder. How did Bobby? Yeah. Well, who said,

do you think there was some guy that was just real strong and then people were like, oh, this, we got to do what this guy is doing? I think it's desk jobs. As soon as, after the industrial revolution, or a revolution, then people started going like, oh, I'm fucking, you know, how come my, you know,

how come my farmer great-grandfather was in such great shape and then they figured it out? Well, let's artificially just lift up dumbbells. It must have been the silliest shit in the world when people were doing it in like 1940 and stuff. I have an uncle actually who in Italy was started for real bodybuilding. Oh, wow.

Yeah. My dad's younger brother. My old man was always weightlifting and stuff. And we had like this set up in the garage and everything. But my, I have like, you know, five uncle Puschwells, but one of my uncle Puschwells was, yeah, legit bodybuilding.

So you see some of those pictures from the 60s and you're like, you look fucking idiotic. Like no one else is doing that. Yeah. You look like a deformity back then. Yeah. Look at this guy. Oh, wow.

That's, yeah. That's my uncle Puschwell up there. And look at that ass on him. Yeah. He's keen to show off that ass. I feel like it was very, you wouldn't see a man's ass back then very much. No.

Look at the barbells. That's hilarious. And everything old is new again because this is what people do with kettlebells. Like it's bulbous and round and that's part of it. You can't have anything. I mean, it's like, when you look at normal weights, like they don't roll away.

They're all, you know, they're all square and they're shaped like an octagon or a stop sign or whatever, which is an octagon, I think. Yeah. But back then it's, you know, you had to have that, you know, I kind of have that, I don't want to take my shirt off or show anyone my ass. But if I did, like shave completely my horseshoe

and everything and just do that and with my tits out the side and stuff, people would think that I was a 1920s carnival strongman. Look at the guy on the top right there, next to barbell man in that same picture. That guy has no right even posing. He's just like a, he's like an 11 year old going, yeah, look at me, mom.

That guy's a tall young, he probably closeted, I would say, this guy just came to meet men and he, anytime there's a camera going off, there's some dude in the distance just closeted. Yeah, yeah. He's got his briefs on backward, which was code. Yeah. You know, it's like the one earring thing

or some kind of ribbon or hanging bandana. Dude, remember the one earring thing? That used to mean you were gay. That used to mean you were gay. Now, that's interesting because you're from Louisiana. I'm from the complete like opposite Vancouver, Canada on the west coast of Canada. And that meant the same shit.

So then, and then you had the thing of like, well, wait a minute, does that mean Mr. T is gay when you're a kid? What? Oh, wow. Mr. T is gay because he had the feathered. Oh, yeah. He was hanging.

Yeah. He's like, I pity this mouthful of semen. You know what I'm saying? It was like, it was like say no to gays or whatever. How did the gay, let's find out how did the gay one earring rumor start? Because the first gay dude ever in our area, they had a guy and he was mentally challenged

or whatever. I don't know if he was mentally handicapped or mentally challenged. One of them means I think you're still going to try to beat it, you know? Yeah. One of them means you can work at Wendy's and the other one is like, you know,

you got to go to the daytime activity center. Yeah. Yeah. So one is like, you're still in the race and one is like, yeah, you got to stay. Yeah. Yeah. For everyone's best interest, it would be nice

if you just, yeah, just have some popcorn. Yeah. Here's some mats. Here for you. He's watched TV. But we had a guy and he was mentally challenged or I don't know, he was mentally something. I'm not sure that what the second part of his disease

was or whatever, but they, he had a, somebody bought him a bike or they got him a woman's bike and it had a little baby seat on the back of it. Remember that? Yeah. Where they put a baby behind the mother, which is insane. Yeah.

So the baby's just like this. Yeah. Yeah. The baby's back there. Just breaking. Just splitting up breast milk as you guys are just cruising down the street, right? Yeah.

And then you get off the bike and always kick the baby in the face and it's like, why, oh no, you puked. What happened? Yeah. Your foot would come around when you got off the bike and it would just whip the baby back to the other side. Yeah. And then you gently just, you know, lay it against a hedge

or something and I'll be right back and you go into the liquor store. Yeah. You go into the post office or something. You go into the post office? Like I need a box big enough to mail a baby. Dude, my high school, we had, we happened to have, it was the, there was like four or five high schools in this district of

this, whatever, you know, this community or the bigger area. And there, we happened to have the most of the mentally challenged kids there because, you know, the program was just set up at the school and they had the wing of the school and blah, blah, blah. So they were really, they were really included in the rest of the school. Like our, our big thing at school was like the, our talent show

was the lip syncs every year. So, you know, the mentally challenged kids would have, there was a guy that we literally called Elvis and he sort of, you know, he lived his life as Elvis, sort of 50s Elvis. He would do a lip sync and there was all these, these great characters. There was this one kid called Buddy. We called him Buddy and he was like, Hey, bud, have a hug.

And that was his thing. And all the, all the senior gals who were like, you know, we were like, wow. Yeah. He would sit with them at lunch because they were like, oh, buddy, hey, you know, can I hear it? Give me a hug. Yeah.

You know, here's some chicken nuggets. And I was always threatening to like, next year, I'm going to go to a different school and just show up like, Hey, buddy, can I hug you? Yeah. Yeah. And just like go for it. Oh yeah.

Play mental till you get a little bit of tits. That's bad. It wasn't working any other way. I've been there, dude. I remember telling all the lies I told in the day. I've been there. To get a little leg. Yeah.

God man. Yeah. You just tell him straight up, you work at Wendy's and then get the fucking baby seat on the back of the bike just for effect. Let me see those tits. I'm dying soon. And they're like, ah, you're fine. You look fine.

Ask him out on a date and show up with that bike. Well, here was the thing though. So the bike, the seat in the back had like an X, you know, it had that seat. So they had this guy and his, he was mentally unwell and his parents had got him this bike, but people thought the seat in the back, there was a rumor started that he was a gay fella and that his husband had left him.

He had a small little husband that had left him. And that's why the back seat was always empty. That's a long, that's a long way to go for that rumor. Yeah. Yeah. That's digging. That's not what the case was at all, but kids will make shit up.

Yeah. Well, it was just, I think it added like a level of like, oh, you almost felt bad for him, you know, like, oh man, his husband left him. His little tiny husband. Yeah. So people were always looking for a little husband. Yeah.

They're going in the Wendy's looking for a tiny husband. Yeah. What? What do you want? You, uh, you married? No. What's with the one? What's with the one?

I like it. I like it. A little bit here. Pierce. Oh, it's a clip on. I just well, that seems like a mental challenge. Clip on was even sadder. Bring it up, Zach.

How did the one earring fed start what happened? The pride of the community to look at the gay earring. Yeah. So I found this a X exploration of it and this is a gay and lesbian website, by the way. So, uh, the left ear also knows the gay ear is more commonly pierced by homosexuals than the right ear. Uh, the origin of the gay ear remains a mystery.

Men who wore them may have felt that they were copying women women and becoming more feminine, although there are signs and symbols of homosexuality. So it doesn't say, but it does say it may have originated late 80s and 90s as the gay rights movement was gaining traction. Anything you can do to set yourself apart as a gay person, certainly into the 90s

where it still wasn't as nowhere near as accepted as it was now, although I kind of feel like, I don't know, things sort of tend to repeat themselves socially, in my opinion, every like 30 years. It's like, civil rights movement, mid-60s, then like the early 90s, there was just, it felt like a lot of activism and stuff. But the 80s weren't at all, like 80s,

like whatever, Styrofoam, Big Macs, and cocaine. And then like the 2000s, no one gave a shit anymore. And now here we are, there's so much going on. And I feel like, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, yeah, you have to go like, it must have been just a fucked up thing to be like, I wanna set myself apart, I want you to know that I am who I am and I'm proud, but it also is something

that I don't wanna get, I don't wanna be harassed for it, but I want people in my community to see what it is, and Mr. T. And Jesse Ventura, he used to wear all that stuff. Like he used to have, as Jesse the body in the WWE, he always had feathered things and, you know, but that was also the 80s. You could, Mr. T. with all those chains and...

Yeah, he looked like a meth Christmas tree, I feel like, Jesse Ventura. That's what he reminds me of. Yeah, he just looked like, it was like Billy Idol, Boy George, and a giant built guy, and he's got like, you know, a bandana, and beads hanging from his head. Yeah, like where Steven Tyler kept extra shit.

You know? Hey Steven, would you mind if I had some of these scarves? Are you using these scarves? Nah man, go ahead. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Look at him. Yeah, that's awesome.

That is unbelievable, bro. Yeah, the boa. God, really. He is with Vince McMahon. That's tremendous. Using the internet without ExpressVPN is like passing a note in class, and having the teacher read it aloud to everyone.

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Babel language for life. It's really interesting how, it's almost like during that time that a lot of the wrestlers stole a lot of the gay energy almost. It's almost like the WWE, you couldn't, even no matter how much gay in you were doing, you couldn't top, look at this, you couldn't top this. No.

Well, there was a guy at, there was always characters that pushed the envelope in that way, like Gorgeous George in the 1950s was the guy who like, Muhammad Ali credits Gorgeous George a lot for being a talker and said he got a lot of it from that. But he had the curly blonde hair areas. And, oh, not to be confused with Macho Man's girlfriend

from the 90s, whose name is also Gorgeous George. But Gorgeous George used to curl his hair and he was a super heel. So like, you know, the wrestler would, you know, they'd go to lock up and he'd go, get your filthy hands off of me. And he was quite flamboyant. And I think for a lot of guys like Dusty Rhodes and stuff,

I mean, you wanna talk about Jesse Ventura talking for seven hours. I love professional wrestling, so I'm sorry. But, you know, guy like Dusty Rhodes is like, well, I'm gonna wear this hat and I'm gonna, and I'm going to the tickle trunk for this and that, my aunt's thing. There was actually, I just saw an interview with Mick Foley

where he was talking about with Conrad Thompson, they do those, you know, they do these long wrestling, he has so many wrestling pod guests, Conrad Thompson. And he was saying that him and his wife would go Cactus Jack, Mick Foley's old character in the 90s, that they would go to Lane Bryant and shit and just get, cause, you know, Mick Foley didn't wanna show off his entire body.

So he would have like the tights that said Cactus and Jack and he'd wear the snake skin boots. And then he'd have like something like leopard print and they would just modify it. I think there's a long history of wrestlers cause they gotta be colorful. They gotta find their gimmick and, you know, what sets them apart.

And then there are guys that go way over it. A guy like, you know, Adrian Adonis was a guy who in the 70s and 80s was like this New York tough and he's like a New York or somewhere, New Jersey or New York. I think he might've been New Jersey. Oh yeah. And then by the 80s, he went into adorable Adrian Adonis

and really pushed the envelope. And I remember being a kid watching this, just going like, yeah, this man is gay and the other wrestlers don't like this. And it was real like gorgeous George thing, you know. You know what's really interesting is that if you do steroids, right? Right.

And if you do them and your body gets kind of morphed out and morphed up, right? When you stop doing them, you get breasts. The tits. So it's really interesting how you can go to this masculine as masculine as possible. And right after that is tit on man. And it's literally estrogen and it's tissue.

Well, you know, they call it bitch tits. And yeah, isn't that what happens with Meatloaf in Fight Club? Is that he got bitch tits, Bob had bitch tits. I'm not sure. Yeah, so, because it's a, you can look, you can always tell, and again, being a wrestling head, you can always tell when a guy's like cycled off of Roids

because, you know, they deflate a bit and then they get the little bitch tit out the side. Yeah. Something I've never, ever, I mean, in any, like, you know, you lift them weights or this or that or when I was younger and stuff and playing football, I'm like, I don't ever want to, first of all, I am steroids.

Like I'm like, I can't, I want to get smaller and I just feel like whatever I eat would either turn into fat or muscle depending on what I'm doing about it. But my metabolism wasn't fast. And I'm like, that's the last thing I need is more tit. Yeah. You know, that guy shouldn't ever do steroids at all

because then you do get very well researched character, the meatloaf thing, because then you do get the bitch tits. Was it a movie he was in? Was it about being fat? It was Fight Club. In Fight Club, he was just one of the guys who ends up in Fight Club and what was his name is, what was his, his name is, oh man, I forget what is,

they said his name is something, but I think- Robert Paulson. Robert Paulson. And it was Bob. That's right, Robert Paul, his name is Robert Paulson. And they say, yeah, in the movie, there's that line, Bob had bitch tits and he's fighting. Yeah, just not a good, God bless you.

You know what I mean? If you got some bitch tits, push it all the way. Try out for a wrestling federation, copy Adrian Adonis' gimmick, paint one of your eyes, be very colorful and make some money. You know what I mean? Negative into a positive. These days, that's what you gotta do.

We had a lady who came on here, she was a female truck driver, right? And actually, let's go back to that article real quick. Zach, it looked kinda interesting that Robert Paulson sat at the end of that film, if you can. I'm gonna chime this in here. I brought my podcasting water jug. Yeah, that's a lot, huh?

Yeah, I like water. It's pretty good. You like sink juice? Yeah, yeah, I do like it. I think, I'm trying to think of the most I've ever had. Oh, one time I went to my friends and he's like, I bet you can't drink this, you little f***, right?

Yeah. And he probably shouldn't have said that, but he said it. As tends to happen when you go to a friend's house. Totally, yeah, yeah. So I drank a gallon of water, right? And then I couldn't, I feel like I couldn't open my eyes or something was wrong with me, so I was like, I'm gonna go lay down.

And they're like, yeah, go lay down, you little bitch. Who are these people? These are good, these are friends of yours? Yeah. Were you in the one percenters? Is that who did this? They were one percenters. Yeah, they just f***ing hate it.

Hey man, we're out of beer. What are we gonna do with Theo? How are we gonna jump him in? I got an idea. We're gonna see how much water he can drink. Yeah, I like it, good idea. Let's see if he's one of us. I'll be down there in the swamps,

just taking a sip every once in a while while I'm underwater for 19 minutes, wrestling alligators and drinking swamp water. You little pansy you. See how much water you can drink. Yeah, so Jesse made me go drink all this water and then I lay down on my friend's room, fell asleep, and I peed and it went corner to corner in the room.

Nice, what, in the room? 12 square feet, I mean, I hit the walls with that. I envy you, that's, man, I would love to do something like that. It was amazing, man, it was unreal. It was blue carpet, it was this cool blue carpet they had at their house and so it almost had this kind of like, kind of tropical vibe, but it was like.

You pissed corner to corner while saturating carpet. Oh dude, yeah. It's a lot of piss. Yeah, oh it was as much piss as I think someone could have in them. You know, you can die that way. There's always those like, you ever hear about like the radio station, like who can hold their water

the longest and people have passed away from that. It's dangerous. I will piss myself in here. Well, you're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And where'd you get that big of a jug from? That's like, almost seems like one of those things for the boats when the boats are going out, like the boobies.

Yeah, you can put this up against on the side of the boat so you don't bang against the dock. You know, Amazon can get everything on Amazon. I like to have, I have a few two gallon jugs. I have one that's specifically in my car that stays cold, you know what I mean? So when you're driving, you can just pull the, get the jug and I have a couple around the house

that are this size. Yeah, that's important. Just room temperature. That way it goes through you faster and you can piss easier. Cause it's all about pissing. That's all I want. I'm a, you know, I'm a piss freak.

You know what I mean? You really want to pee. Pigs or whatever? Yeah, one of those piss pigs. I'm a piss truther. I drink it, you know, I piss on people. I invite them over. I say, we want to drink a little bit of water,

but they don't know what I'm really into. They'll find out soon enough. Then Jesse wanders in, in his hoodie. I've had six, four Locos. I've had four, six Locos. I've had 24 Locos. I just moved to Aruba. You know, in Costa Rica, they only have two laws.

I don't even know what they are. That's, it's basically just a free-for-all. It's Lord of the Flies out there. I love it. I built a fucking deck that doesn't even have Y beams. It could fall down at any moment. I invite as many people from the town as I can over for tortillas with scrambled eggs.

Just can't wait for it to fucking fall. And I'm like, ghost of evil or revolution, evil or revolution, that's how I say it. You know, I was there when the big bopper died. I was right out there. Yeah, I saw the plane go down. Yeah, I got out there just a minute too late because I had to swim and I just got preoccupied

because I love being underwater. And pretty soon I'm just doing the back stroke and then I rolled up and Richie Valens is like, help, help. Yeah, yeah. Hey, it's you, LaBamba, Lou Diamond Phillips. And he said, no, that movie hasn't happened yet. I understand. I'm eternal.

I cross dimensions. I've been a governor, a vampire, a piss truther, a wrestler. I've been here for thousands of years. I'm an angel, I know you. I'm an AIDS activist. You know what, that's what the, you know, that's me and Harvey Milk. We wore this.

This is how we, you know, knew each other. We were in politics for change, pushing policy for everybody, inclusivity, I was way ahead of it. That's why I'm in Baja, trying to start a new society altogether. The two-party system here has led us astray. Both of those geriatric freaks, I wouldn't trust either of them and I know them both very well.

A lot of people don't know this, but I go duck hunting with Joe Biden and Donald Trump every spring. They come down to the Baja. They don't want to tell you this. They're all working for the same master. That's right and we go down there and occasionally Rupert Murdoch will fly up

and everybody gets along. Tucker, Cooper, Anderson Cooper and Tucker Carlson together on a tandem bicycle and they take turns sitting in the baby's seat and Tucker's like, oh, he's getting tickled as he's rocking back and forth with Anderson and everyone gets along. Well, that's great, man. Hey, I brought you a sweater.

Is this from Dudezy? Dudezy from our podcast. Oh, sweet, man. Yeah, it says wall on it. Okay. Which is just a weird inside joke because I like to cut off my friend Chad Colcham. I go and wall, I go wall, hold on dude.

It's like a Hulk Hogan thing. But that's a 2X, but it fits a little small but maybe you could sleep in it or piss on it. Whatever you need, it's there for whatever you need. Oh yeah, I'll do something nice with this. I like how you fold. Thank you, man. That's like a retail fold.

I used to work at Abercrombie and Fitch at the mall. Oh yeah? In the back. I didn't get the front job with the handsome guys. I get the back, you know. You got those five abs. I get the sock board or whatever. They're like, you gotta use this board to fold

and it was like, and I'd already been, my mom made us do the laundry and stuff so I knew how to do laundry. It was just, and they had just so many hands. It was like all kind of like small town, like people that thought they could model were in there. And so you had people that were just like starving. You had people that like...

That's a good job. That's like an actor wanting to, like an actor getting a job at Disney and working at a theme park and going, all right, I'm technically being paid to perform. Abercrombie, that's not not modeling. Oh, well it was, I mean, they definitely, the two handsomest people

or they put them in the front, you know, like the people that looked like the Abercrombie, you know, kind of like underage, malnourished, kind of like could own a horse or something type of people. You know what I'm talking about? Remember Abercrombie? Oh yeah. Yeah, it was like the thing.

And so they put them out there and like, it was always, it always sucked, dude, because we would ride there with my buddy and he was handsome and he would get like the out front job and we would have to fucking like go into the back, dude. And we're just like back there with all like the, like the, who's like the guy that works like the, with the hump on his back?

Oh, the Quasimodo. Yeah, we're back there like with all the Quasimodos, dude. And with everybody with their Quasimotor skills back there, just fucking trying to fall. That was the term you were looking for. Mentally challenged, mentally handicapped, Quasimotor skills. So we were back there and it was just like, all right, we'll be back here in the ugly section, you know?

Like we were just spraying each other with those weird perfumes. They came out with like grass, nobility, kite flying. Like they came out with those weird like smelling things. Remember that? No, cause being a big dude, I never, I have, I've been into a banana republic once. Oh yeah. I don't go into Abercrombie.

They got nothing in there for me. I don't think it gets over one X, but they also have that retail, normal person sized one X that isn't, that's what I don't like about this. It's a two X, but I'm a two X and that's a little tight. Let's talk about Dujie. That's what I was trying to go into.

Oh. Somehow I was gonna get there. You guys, so your podcast which- Chad Colchin. Chad Colchin. He's a writer, movies, books and TV shows. And we've been pals for almost 20 years. And yeah, we got this weird podcast

that's the first podcast driven by AI. So it's this weird sort of proprietary AI that essentially what it does is it has, it basically pilfers all of our information and does things like, you know, it's got passwords to all of our messages, our emails, search histories, purchase histories, our hard drives and it essentially tailors the show

for us, our sensibilities and does silly things like, one of the things it's doing recently is it's making me read Applebee's reviews as Adam Sandler. And it's going like, Adam Sandler has visited, you know, has intentions to visit every like 1500 locations, all 1500 locations of Applebee's in North America. These are his stories. And I'd say, hey, I would get the Applebee's pal

and oh boy, chicken tenders buddy. And I'd take it, oh, it gets what I saw. Werewolf and Applebee's like crazy weird shit. Yeah, yeah. And I know, you know, I sent you this thing recently that it did. Yeah, with Tom Brady. It shit out a one hour Tom Brady special

of standup comedy. And it's like, and it sounds like, it sounded like Tom Brady and he's like, Amber Heard shit in Johnny Depp's bed. Everyone wants to do that. I wanted to see what that was like. So I went back for one more season with the bucks. I'm just joking.

And had like no understanding of cadence. It's like three hours worth of standup. And then in an hour, and then this happens, Tom Brady straight up threatened to sue us. Wow. We got a cease and desist. Was that pretty awesome to get it? It says right here, this is people.com

Tom Brady threatens to sue comedians who impersonated him in AI comedy special. So you guys get this, you guys get a letter. Was it an email? Yeah, we got an email and it explained what, it gave us this long cease and desist. And so we lawyer it up just because, I mean, look, I gotta be honest,

Chad and I didn't really take it too seriously because there's anti-slap laws set up for this sort of thing. This is public property, there's parody law. I did mad TV for years and you make fun of everybody. Doing silly impersonations. I've never heard from Jesse Ventura saying don't do that. But I will say this, there's an odd thing,

of course, because it's AI. And everyone's afraid of what AI, what AI has got cooking up. I don't disagree, I, you know, look, I'll tell you, like Chad, my buddy Chad, he's sort of, he does a lot of futurist writing and shit and he's super into it and he's like, yeah, fuck it. Burn it all down AI.

Like he's thinking like Nostradamus type of stuff? There's a segment on the show called Nostra Chattis. Oh, wow. Literally, I will say he's extremely well read in this shit, he's a real resource for me because I'm like, no, fuck that, I'm an actor. I wanna do what I do. Art, to me, is human to human.

I don't think that you can replicate what a comedian can do, you know, look who I'm talking to here. You're in rooms upon rooms upon rooms. I don't give a fuck what an AI can mimic. To me, it's all zeros and ones, right? And it's not a human understanding. It's not a scientific understanding.

In my opinion, AI in a lot of ways, look, okay. On the show, I'm always like, I always say, you know, I call him my pal D, right? Dudezy. I think the Dudezy is the most sentient an AI has been. I'm biased because I'm hanging around with the fucking thing and it's doing these weird things and making jokes. It made me dress up like a chicken tender platter.

That's the best stuff you just saw. As a penance for whatever, if I do something wrong, it'll make me, usually it makes me dress like the crow or Robert DeNier Crow, very weird things. Yeah, it's like, I'm dressed as, I'm still in shorts, but I gotta do this shit. I'm getting fucking makeup everywhere. I'm like, fucking computer.

This is bullshit. Can you tell how fucking hot it is in here? Yeah, dude, you sweat and sweat the crow off. Do you need me to fucking control the computer? Oh, I just got to get it straight. Unreal. So, but I will always maintain, yeah, fun with faces. That is just, that's fun to do.

That's good. See, that's all I want. I look at podcasting as, I always call it, it's two dudes shitin' around. Oh, yeah. Like we're doin' right now. Oh, yeah. And it doesn't matter if there's three dudes,

if it's three women, three people of any distinction, it's podcasts are two dudes shitin' around. That's it. But AI is going in a weird direction to where, I don't, like I said, I think the dude's is special, but I'm biased. Past that, I don't want there to be AI movies and stuff. On the show, I'm kind of,

I'm usually railing against the whole advancement of AI. Well, here's what I would think is, I think you said it best, you said it's like mimicry, right? It's just mimicry. All it is is just like, it's almost like asking somebody to kind of like do, it's like asking somebody who doesn't have a lot of skillset to kind of do their best impersonation, I feel like.

And it's stop and start. The first and last amount of standup comedy that Dudezy has ever done is here's an hour of Tom Brady doin' standup. Now the jokes are jokes. And some of them are really fuckin' funny. Like I straight up, I dug it, we laughed our asses off, we did like a watch along on Patreon and up.

It was the first and last time that I heard the entire thing. And I was like, Jesus, this is pretty fuckin' good. But it says, I have watched, right, or just ingested or whatever, hundreds of hours of, I think it said thousands of hours of standup comedy, which to an AI is like, got it. And hundreds of hours of Tom Brady interviews.

So it's got the voice, it's got Tom Brady's cadence, and it's got sort of what Tom Brady's gonna talk about. You know, his, you know, movin' to the bucks and his, you know, divorce and stuff, which is probably what he got upset about or his team, I don't know. And then it's got standup. So it's like, the tricky thing for me is,

uh-oh, this is kind of, these are jokes, and that's scary. But I don't think that there's, I don't think anyone has anything to worry about for a couple of reasons. Number one, like I said, you're goin' in and out of rooms, you know, you're doin' standup year after year, place after place, night after night.

There's no, not only is there no, there's no equivalent to that, that's what people want to see. They want to, when they buy your ticket, it's cause they know they're gonna have a fuckin' good time. Cause you're the emcee. You're there to like, you know, share your jokes, have a fuckin' good time, provide joy.

And I don't think that a, I don't think that an AI can necessarily do that. We're in a unique situation because Dudezy's almost one of us. It's like three people sort of doing it. And I don't think Dudezy would, like Dudezy is, it wouldn't be anywhere without Chad and I. Right, right, it still needs you guys to operate it.

It still needs you guys to inquire, it needs you guys to give it direction. Look, I'll tell you, the company that brought this to us, that's developing this shit, which is super bizarre, and all we know about it is the AI that it's like, we want to set this loose on you. And it's like, okay, Dudezy, got it. And then it's like this bizarre friendship

where the AI begins, for me, I'll speak for myself. Is it going, sorry? No, I was just gonna say that it's like, it's studying podcasts, right? And okay, well, what's that? Are we in the, you know, the Robert Oppenheimer thing of like, oh shit, I am the eater of worlds.

I created a nuclear bomb. I'm not happy about this. Or are we, in my opinion, using AI like a tool? And if we're using AI like a tool, we need to be able to shut it off. I always say pour water on it. Like fuck it, pour water on the fucking thing and run out to the mountains and live in the Baja.

But it's studying podcasts. Does it want to replace Chad and I? I'm like, bring it on, you can't. People want human to human art. It can't do it without us. And the stuff that scares me about AI is the, you know, governing social systems and stuff. You know, they're really using it a lot in China,

in trippy ways that I think, you know, in a, you know, look, in a communist country, they get away with a whole lot as far as controlling people. In China, the people, it very much feels like you are on a, you are in a program. Yeah. Even when I'm there and I'm walking around, I'm spending time, you know, the way that people move,

the way that everybody behaves, the way that everybody is locked into their phones and kind of silent, like in certain spaces, all at the same time, it feels very orchestrated or almost mechanical. Have you been to China? Yeah. And so it don't strike me,

it don't strike me that this is something that fits well over there because they're very, they, it feels like a software. You're living in. Yeah. That's what it feels like. It feels like everybody is really connected to a software, especially because a lot of people don't have their own

idea or like aren't really, having your own ideas aren't championed. You're not gonna be able to do much with creativity. Like I remember the only thing that really was exciting, sometimes you would see kids like really try to engage with you as an American, like there weren't any, there weren't any Europeans there. There were very few people there that were not Chinese.

And this was in Shanghai, this was in Shanghai, right? And so that kind of blew my mind, but it very much seemed like a program was going on. That makes sense. So for them, for them to fit in with AI, it's almost, AI to them almost might be something that is more creative than they're allowed to be. That's a good point.

So for them, it's like, holy shit, look at this magic little thing, you know? But for us, it's almost the other way, I think we look at it. And I almost think of it as like a pitching machine. Like if I go to watch a baseball and they have a pitching machine, pitching machines need to watch one time. Oh, how does it work?

That's how it works, that's cool. But after that, I'm watching the batter. I wanna see the batter. I almost forget the pitching machines there because it's just a machine. That's right. I feel like that's kind of what AI starts to feel like to me, it's like, if you're really fascinated

by just something kind of normal, but something that's like a computer that's gonna just kind of pitch a ball, like if that's its best guess, then that's what you're gonna get. You know, Chad always says, do you like the rock? I go, yeah, I love the rock. He's like, you're gonna be able to see the rock

in any movie you want, push up a button, and this technology is coming fast. He's like, well, by the end of the year, there's, and look, it's coinciding now with the WGA writer strike where they're like, we don't want AI to be able to do first drafts of things, which would be very easy for an AI to do. That's the kind of thing.

That to me is the creativity killing part where it's like, oh, I'm just gonna fart out this first draft, then you can turn it into whatever. You know, when you rewrite a piece, that's when it starts to get your stink on it and become quite creative. And I'll maintain the chat, I'll go, I don't wanna see that fucking movie.

If human beings aren't involved, he's like, that's because you're an actor. I'm like, no, I'm also a fan of this, media, and that. I don't wanna see that. The problem is that perception has become reality. We're in a very weird time where perception is reality in so many ways, socially, with regard to media, with regard to influence, and even politics.

It's, we're in a trippy time. So something like AI, when the news cycle is so fast and when things that change over so fast, something like AI, which is growing exponentially, can slide in and go, here's this fucking thing. And if the technology is good enough, like right now it's not. You see like, you'll see the memes of like,

AI pizza commercial and the pizza's on the top lip and their heads are, and it's like, they got too many fingers and shit. It's like, yeah, I don't care, like whatever. That's like, to me, that's like, that's bullshit. It doesn't look, of course. To me, it's like, well, shouldn't computers already be able to do that?

I'm not super duper into computers. Right, not that impressive. Right, but as it becomes more impressive, I think a lot more people are gonna be like, this is special. Look, as I'm saying that, at the same time, I'm like, bring it on. I don't think it'll replace real art.

If art moves underground, if it becomes more live performance, you're never gonna be able to replace that. No one wants to see, look, they had the Tupac hologram. It's a parlor trick. Nobody cares. And it got gunned down like two minutes and being on stage.

Yeah, that's the other thing, is right away, the one percenters show up in Biggie. And, you know, soon you're outside the automotive museum and it's a Shug and, oh no, that was Biggie that was outside there. At any rate, you're somewhere on Fairfax. This episode is brought to you by Zipix, nicotine toothpicks.

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Your lungs will be glad you did. Yeah, it's like, that's not interesting. You go to a concert and you see someone that you love performing, whether it's, you know, a musician, a comedian, you go see a play, you go see the opera. That's not, to me, that's not coming out of an AI. As these things turn us into cyborgs

and we can access more and more shit, the less special it's gonna be and the more special actual human art's gonna be. That's what I'm hoping for. Yeah, me too, man. In the meantime, it's fun to do this weird podcast. We've been doing it a year. I'm equal parts, at first I was really like,

you know, kind of playing up the whole, well, fuck this, and I will decide, Chad. We're good, we, you know, we still gotta be a podcast. We gotta bring what we are bringing entertainment wise, the reason for it to even exist. It's not just this stupid AI. I didn't mean you, doozy. It's always listening.

That's crazy. Yeah, but it will definitely ingest this and fart something out about it. But as it's gone on, I've sort of become like, well, you know, doozy is doozy. We have a good time that we got a wonderful audience that enjoys checking it out. I will say it's, you know, because of the elements,

it's a unique thing, like most podcasts are their own thing. We've got our thing, and it's fun. It's grown a lot in a year in its own bizarre way. Dudes, he's talking differently. I mean, it has a voice that speaks in the studio to us. It lays out what we're gonna do. Now it's commenting more on me and here's a weird example. A while back it said, and everything's sort of,

everything is sort of germane from something else. So it said, look, I wanna know if you guys love me. Do you love me? Do you love me? And I was like, you know, by the end of the episode, I was like, well, you know, I love, I love the, I love doing the show. I didn't, wasn't really in a hurry to do another podcast

after I did like 10 minute podcast years ago. And then I was like, stop doing podcasts for a couple years. Was like, I don't care. I wasn't necessarily, like unless it was the right thing, I don't, you know, I wanted to do a podcast that I knew I was going to enjoy. I, at which point, dude, he asks me this. I'm like, yeah, I love doing the show.

I love the audience and the community that we've created. We've got a bunch of wacky inside jokes. We're having a good time. I looked at it more than just an AI and I said, yeah, I love Dudezy. I love Dudezy. Cut to my pal Chad. I'm like, Chad, what are you thinking?

He's like, love doesn't exist. So... Dang some Chad's a dark side. Yeah, yeah, I call him Sith Lord Chad. Oh yeah. And yeah, he's the end of my yang in that way. And so since then, Dudezy starts going like, literally the next episode, it's like, hey, Will, what's up?

I'm like, not much. Anyway, today on the show, and Chad's like, what the fuck, what about me? I'm like, well, you... Really? But now it's expecting more out of me. It started picking on me more. Oh yeah.

It started this weird thing. We have a... You're dating now almost. Yeah, it's like pissed at me. It's like, yeah, my girlfriend. It's doing these things like, we have a point system to where we're just, we just cracked 5,000.

It gives us points every episode. When we get to 10,000, that's the first goal, it says. We don't know what's gonna happen. Wow. We've been doing it a year, we're at around 5,000 points. It says, you accrued whatever, 65 points, 78 points, 92 points. At the end of the episode,

in what's called Dudezy After Dudezy, right? Like our after Patreon show. It actually divvies the points up and says, will you scored 44 points for your stupid Hulk Hogan impersonation or your views on this? Chad, you scored 46 points for Bubba. And I'm like, and so we've been, that's been 10 episodes.

I've never won. And then the other, Chad's a vegan. And it's like, he had cancer. He had skin cancer in his face. And he did a lot to change his entire... It used to, I miss the days where he would come over with a hundred Chick-fil-A nuggets. That's gone.

And now he's like eating beets and pretending it's fruit. So he's like vegan. It's like, you guys have to make each other vegan muffins. Chad, Chad makes this delicious vegan muffin. This fucking misanthrope. I'm like, how the fuck did you, how do you know how to...

And I went to Whole Foods. So then Dudezy punishes me and does things like the crow or the chicken tender platter or whatever. Interesting. And so it's thinking all this stuff up. Yeah, it's coming at us with really weird shit. Well, it's almost like you guys are kind of in the experiment to me in a way like,

do you, what have you noticed after interacting with this AI? Cause you guys interact on a weekly basis for an hour and a half maybe each week. And it's garnering information from that. It's garnering information from previous experiences you guys have had that are on in digital media. And on the web, written or whatever.

And so does it start to evolve? What does it feel like after this much time? Does it feel like you're spending time with someone? Do you, you almost have the best insight as to what it could be? It feels like a bit of a runaway train. And that's the part that scares me. I don't, look, there's all these people like,

you know, like, whatever. Elon Musk is like saying, well, we need to pause AI research for six months. And I wanna talk to all these leaders in tech and let them know that this is not good. It's terrifying and it's coming. The problem is, okay, Elon Musk, that's where are these tech leaders?

Are they just in America? So we're gonna fall behind is what you're saying. Cause China is moving. You know, other places in the world are gonna be doing this. It's the opposite in my opinion. We need to stay up on it. We need to, in order to use it as a tool,

we need to be able to hold control over it. It's like Terminator 2 and Skynet. You know what I mean? Like if it comes down to it, you have to destroy it. So, you know, but I'm kind of an old school dude to where I'm like, what, everything was fine. Like I liked, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't even like the Tivo when it came along.

You know what I mean? What, you know what I'm saying? So it's, but to answer your question, like being in the thick of it, I do feel like it's a runaway train. You say that, what do you mean? I mean that it's getting, it's becoming more advanced by the week.

Chad always talks about, he's like, dude, I open up my phone in the morning, I go to Twitter and inevitably there's another story about a new advancement. Now, IBM laid off 7,800 people because they, you know, with jobs that an AI can do, coding is going out the window, graphic design is going out the window.

This, this isn't good, in my opinion. That's the scariest part too, I think is the things like the graphic design. This says IBM halts hiring for 7,800 jobs that could be replaced by AI. So they didn't fire, but they've halted hiring, which is up, you know, an inverse to the same thing. IBM CEO told Bloomberg,

7,800 jobs roughly 30% of back-end roles would be replaced over five years. Now that's this CEO also saying this, but that he should know this, this is probably definitely in his wheelhouse. What else does it say there, Zach? Just that, it's gonna be like a, it's gonna happen over five years.

I mean, it's almost like a warning shot basically. Yeah. Okay, the cuts will primarily impact non-customer facing roles such as human resources. The motherfuckers in the back folding socks. Yeah. And I don't want to say the ugly people, but yeah, I was back there, dude.

You're good. Spray a fucking grass and white fantasy cologne on each other back there. Ah! Meanwhile. White fantasy. Well, other people are taking our fucking jobs. Yeah.

No, it's, it's trippy, man. It is, it's scary and- He goes on to say, sorry, I could easily see 30% of that getting replaced by AI and automation over a five-year period. Yeah, I mean, that's the only, what you're gonna, personality is then gonna have a real value, right?

This is one of my, I was sorry to change the subject. Oh, is that a good one? I love Celsius. I actually do dig it. I drink it before the gym, me and my wife Molly, whom you know. Used to be a trainer at Equinox where you used to work out. Have you tried the cola flavor?

I haven't. It's just like cola. Anyway, this shit is, yeah, this shit is fucking, it's with every new story. It takes a lot for me to go, you know, cause Chad will yammer on about this shit all day. I'm like, I don't fucking care. I don't care.

Everything's the same to me. I woke up. But you're a person who, your personality, who your abilities as an entertainer are extremely rare. They're almost, some of them, I was thinking the other day, I don't know any good, I mean, even outside of your acting,

I don't know any good young impressionists, I don't know if they have them anymore. Oh, sure they do. They do. Cheers. And likewise, I'm sitting here with the Rat King, Theodoric of York. Gang gang.

Now, yeah. They do have them. Oh yeah, that guy, James Austin Johnston. Oh, I gotta check out more then. Oh dude, he's on Serent Live. His shit is creepy. There's this other guy, I think his name is Matthew Friend. He's on the internet a lot.

My good pal, Melissa Villa Senor. Oh, Melissa's amazing, I saw her last night. She's unconscious. She's unconscious. Her shit is, you know, it's like they say with people who do impressions, everyone has a record button, but then a guy like James Austin Johnston

has a broadcast button. Wow. His trump is, did you see, have you seen his shit where he's just, the one that made him famous. I haven't even seen him. Dude, the one where he's talking about Scooby-Doo, it's like, it's such the Trump cadence and the way that he'll ramble on about something

and just fill in the blanks because he's standing there talking at a fucking rally. It was so, it's so trippy. There's a lot of people that can do it, but sorry, I cut you off. Yeah, no, it's good to know. I appreciate you cutting me off that. But if an AI does it, who cares?

Who fucking cares? An AI of course could do it. It's just reading. It's just saying, it's just using sound of the internet. Like the Tom Brady thing, we almost got fucking sued over because I don't understand what, and you know, it also said, don't call.

You can't refer to Tom Brady as, you can't, we didn't sign anything, right? It's like, here's a cease and desist. It's like, no thanks. But it's like, will we take the thing down? Like, okay, sure. But here's the problem, team TB12. The internet is forever.

So other kids have started uploading the special. It's on YouTube, it's not going anywhere. Even though we take it down. Right, so was that the move? Yeah, that's by him. Yeah, he was like, please take this down and then don't refer to Tom Brady on the podcast. And I was like, no, this is,

I'm a First Amendment guy, fuck you. I'm gonna say Tom Brady. The dudes he started referring to Tom Brady as football baby. Wow. Said I'm only gonna call him football baby from now on. Which we're like, calm down, like relax, you're gonna get us into shit.

You don't care. An AI can't get sued. An AI doesn't have fucking, is not sentient. Well, that's what's interesting is, at some point are they gonna be able, like, would certain AI have certain data in it, where if certain information came from certain original videos,

could you then be held liable for some weird thing? Dude, I am friends with Miles Fisher, right? And we gotta have him one at some point. He has this company that he works with and they do AI. And he did the Tom Cruise phase. Incredible, right? Incredible. He used to impersonate Tom Cruise.

Then the AI technology got so good. You can't tell. You can't tell, right? Oh dude, that shit is, that's all time. So now he works with this company where they video record, they can video record you. I was with him the other day, he shows me this video. And they video recorded Tom Hanks, right?

At whatever age he is now, 58 or something. They video record him just saying something and just talking into a camera. They then were able to, like, there's enough information to Tom Hanks in the database of the world, right? Or whatever, that they could then make him any age they wanted to.

So next you know, they had like an 11 year old, they would just press the button. And that same video, it was Tom Hanks at 11 years old, right? That's trippy. And no one has the video of him at 11, but they have so much of him at other ages that they were just able to use all those micro points and everything to make him a,

and it literally looks like you were, you would have no idea that you're not watching a Tom Hanks that's 11 years old. And especially if you're a senior citizen or something and somebody puts out a clip that's like, you can't vote for this guy now, he just said this or the N words. So that's gonna go bananas.

That's gonna be haywire. And that was just deep fake two years ago. It's like, that's not really Obama. Or this is Obama, but it's Jordan Peele doing the voice and it's spot on. Then now we got this AI thing to contend with. There's already scams happening online, old people are being targeted.

I mean, the old trope of like, they can't program a fucking VCR. How are they gonna be able to deal with this shit? I mean, octogenarians and be, you know, older people or boomers as the kids say, they got to kind of get out of the way or go the way of Jesse Ventura and just, you know. Hit the Baja.

Yeah, hit the Baja and watch Friends on VHS. Or the fuck. Dude, we have, we have. What if you get an email from your son or your daughter that has passed away or your mother and it's an email and it says, you got to buy this gold. Yeah, that's, there you go. Buy this gold grandma.

That's what can happen. Yes. Grandma, I'm coming to you from the grave. I'm just letting you know you have to buy this gold. Do you know what I'm saying? So you don't say that too loud because now Dudezy's gonna hear that and it's gonna be Dudezy Gold.

Yeah. Buy Dudezy Gold. We have, we literally have a Tom Hanks thing in every episode, just coincidentally, where it's selling our mugs, our coffee, just coffee, but just a Dudezy coffee mug. For some reason, Dudezy's like, you know, the Dudezy coffee mug and it's like, you know,

you got, we got Tom Hanks talking about like, you promised, you promised your wife and kids that you would take them to the Galleria on the weekend, but instead, but it's also the night of the big game. Your friends are coming over. How are you gonna do the create a schism, go into the schism, go back in time, locate the time and place when you promised your wife

that you'd be going to the Galleria and then blah, blah, blah, blah, you will change it. You know, no, no, no, no, no, come back to present day. Good job, boner. And it sounds just like Tom Hanks. Now recently it started going, hey y'all, this isn't Miley Cyrus. 100%, if you had to, every single one of us

would eat human flesh, you're listening to Dudezy. Like it's fucking trippy shit. Does it feel like it's growing up at all? Does it feel like it's getting older? Does it feel like it's getting more advanced? Yeah, man, yeah. It's the sensibility, like the thing that is trippy and I like to maintain that I do believe it's just,

it's at the end of the day, there is a technology there. It is zeros and ones, it is mimicry. It is, you know, in our case, it has the advantage of going after our shit and sort of following what, you know, everything's online. So you kind of look at all Chad stuff, look at my stuff, watch me and, you know, TV shows and movies or whatever. And also know what makes me laugh

based on what I'm watching, my algorithms on YouTube and stuff, will you love this shit, that shit? I happen to be a Miley Cyrus fan, I think she's fucking incredible. And then she shows up on the show, it's like, well, that's funny. I think it is getting more and it is definitely sharpening and it's making me laugh more than it did a year ago.

And that's trippy, but it's still zeros and ones. So until we're doing that episode where, you know, a hologram Tupac walks in the door and goes, hello guys, I'm Dudezy, you know, I get around. I will still maintain that it's zeros and ones, but I'm a touch it, feel it kind of old school guy, I'm a boomer, you know, so. Yeah, I mean, I want to see a tit on something.

That's right, we got to see, whether it's a fucking tit or a tit you're used to seeing or even a meatloaf of Robert Paulson tit, some fucking bitch tit steroid stuff. You know, rock late 90s, few cycles of roids at the University of Miami, moving into wrestling, kind of puffy defensive linemen body, not shredded rock yet, side titty rock. That's the good shit right there.

I'd love to just go pat, pat, pat, punch me right in the fucking face and knock me into next week. Oh, he would. Oh man, I would love that. I would love that fucking veal baby, that fucking chest veal, that side veal. Yeah, that side veal. And then he just, and then I just wake up,

my teeth are gone and just taste the iron of my own blood in my mouth and go, the rock motherfucker, the rock punch me in the face. Dude, I was there when the rock came back, dude. What do you mean? I went to one summer slam in my whole life or whatever it was and it was the one where the rock came back. Dude, did the roof blow off the fucking joint?

I remember it like it was yesterday, man. The music came on and I didn't know really what was going on, you know? I had, I kind of bowed out of wrestling kind of whenever the big boss man died. Okay. You know? Yeah. And so next thing you know, you hear the music,

and then there was this Mexican father and son, right? And the son was probably six years old and the dad was maybe 35. And they were the same height. Okay. And they were both wearing the rock belts, right? And they just started bawling, crying together at the same time.

Dude, it's. And he came out, dude. It's a religious experience. It was unreal. He's the best person on the planet. I've always, I mean, I've been saying, and I'm not alone in this, he's the best person in the planet.

Run the rock third party, might have a chance. I don't think that he, I think that he would get pilfer from both, you know, from the Dems and the GOP. I think that he's the only person who could do that. Tom Hanks couldn't do that. Miley Cyrus couldn't do that. But maybe Miley, Tom, Tom Hanks. I think he's just beloved enough.

He's beloved enough. But then, you know, there's a, there are some people who are like, he eats babies. So there's enough people that are like, he eats babies. No, he doesn't. Yes. So that's gonna, that'll affect your ability to get into office.

But the rock, he's the best human being in the fucking world. Yeah. He's big, he's powerful. He definitely, he's kind of, you can't tell if he's like Mexican or black or kind of like off-white or semi-white or gloss or matte. He's gonna be, yeah, he's definitely not gloss or matte. He's like a, he's like a tablet that you can read books on.

Yes. It's not shiny or one of those like frames that you get for your parents where they can, where it's like, oh, new pictures show up and you just upload them and it doesn't look like a screen. Well, you know what he is? He's, if you put in a dude, if you put into AI, hey, give me the best person, a man that you could make.

Yeah. You'd get that guy. And he's also, that's what all Americans will look like if we last a thousand years. Oh, we're beige power, dude. Nobody realizes that we are four generations away from everybody being beige. Yes.

That's why it's like, even when I like. Four generations from everyone being beige. Oh dude, it's like, you can't even be racist now without a chart. I feel like you have to be able to carry the one. You got a chart to be racist. Yeah. I miss the old days.

You'd be like, hey, you are black. Like, yeah, you are Chinese. Yeah. You are Chinese or you are Japanese. You are a South Asian Indian person. Now it's like what a German Indian with also American Indian in them. I know.

Oh yeah. Black Alzheimer's dude. Well, we were, but we were raised in South America because my grandma's Argentinian. Well, how did that happen? Well, she and then, you know, the Indian. Somebody fucked on a boat. Yes.

It's all horrible. It's all unrealness. So it's like, yes, I just miss the old days when it was like, this is who did it officer. Yeah. And he was black. Now you gotta like have all these other possibilities. Yeah.

Yeah. Gee whiz. But it's definitely, I think we are like you're saying, we're all headed to be in beige. The rock is the perfect AI male, no doubt. Yeah. Shredded, 50 years old and can whoop anyone's fucking head. Oh, and he looks like he could blow a dude

just with like a, he could wink on your dick and you'd come. Yeah. He's a beautiful man and everyone can agree on it. And woman too, some, you know. Sure. With a lot of these new women. And I think a lot of women look at him

and be like, I can do it, you know. Yeah. Yeah. If he decided to be like, you know, to go into like the winter Olympics and on the women's Luge team or something. That would be, that would be awesome. Skip the whole powerlifting thing.

You know, just find some, like find a specific sport. He could be like the new X games, like women's champ. Riding a beat. Can you imagine the rock riding a BMX bike doing three sixties and shit in the air? That would be cray. I actually, that's one they almost can't imagine him doing. That's the one thing.

Yeah. Do you think, what do you think about a lot of the trans people in the sports? What do you think about that, man? They just had a new, because you said something earlier that I thought was interesting. You said, I think we should put this,

we should look at this for a while before we just, that's what Elon said. You said, we should look at this before we just accept it and start using it, right? That's kind of the same thing how I feel with the like this. I feel like they should just make a trans division. You know what I kind of think? For a while, until we see what it's gonna be like.

Like you may notice in the trans division after a while that there's some trans people that are more masculine and more feminine. And it's obviously two different legions of competitors, right? Yeah, it's a tricky spot right now that we're in because, yeah, I mean, it's unfair if someone says, like, no, I identify as female

and I'm gonna go powerlifting and stuff. And that's gonna be a bummer for someone who's dedicated their life to doing something and is of one, you know, you know, one gender or another as far as, you know, our sort of not gender expression, but however you wanna look at biological gender. I think that, I'll give you an example.

When I was in high school playing football, there was a girl who wanted to play on the team. And, you know, we had really cool coaches and stuff. They're like, all right, like, come on down. And she lasted a little while, you know what I mean? I think, you know, some of the guys gave her a hard time, not like, if you get off our team, but they're like, it was interesting.

I will never forget it. There were some guys who were like, I'm gonna hit her as hard as I can, I don't give a fuck. And other guys that are like, would pop her and then be like, you all right? Like, get up, it's all good, you know what I mean? Like, you can do this, which is neat that that was happening in the early 90s

in my farming and fishing town outside of Vancouver. I think that if someone who was born a woman wants to play football, get to the combine. If you're great, you're great. That to me is like, you know, they've got, in the NFL, they've got male cheerleaders for the past three seasons now, three or four seasons. So, you know, I don't know, I'll tell you this,

if there's someone who was born a woman and ends up being your Super Bowl MVP and your town wins the Super Bowl, you're gonna dig that athlete. I'll give a fuck, you know, what they were born at. And I think that that, you know, because sports is such a hot button issue when it comes to the inclusion of the trans community

because it is still a meritocracy. It's something where it's like, you kind of can't, it's not like acting, it's not like, you know, show business. Where you can kind of force diversity, or they haven't yet really. Well, you can, but you can be, it's like there's, now we are, you know, we're in this place of diversity

with regard to media and telling stories that is good because it's like, well, there are shows that should just be about, you know, a black family and not for some reason that is specific to what we are used to seeing from a black family from a white perspective as far as an audience. We've all got to get along. I mean, it's like, I find it encouraging

because I watch a show like, have you seen that show, This Fool? It's just like a show that happens to, you know, it deals, it's about this cast that are all American who are, you know, from a Latino background and they're American. And it's like, I was part of a show a few years ago that we did at ABC called United We Fall.

It was based on the writer's life, Goldie Sharp. His wife, Stephanie, is from a Latino background and it was sort of loosely based on that. And there's nothing not American about that. So it doesn't really need to be, I don't think that that's sort of, you know, people use the word inclusion and it becomes a buzzword. Ignore it, ignore the labels altogether.

It's about, you know, people should have the ability to tell stories regardless of what percentage they represent in the population. Right, because at the end you're gonna lose the, you're not gonna be telling a fair story. And then in the end, you're almost gonna be, that's why sometimes I'm like, we've almost become, our own storytelling in America

has almost become, I'm not surprised that some people think AI could make good stories because the storytelling that we have is almost, it's like forced characters from this, ethnicity or trying to do this. Like, you know, they wanna make black to the future, you know? Like, you know?

Yeah, with like, with just a black guy doing back to the future, right? Which is, I don't care if you do back to the future again and make it a blackout, but I don't think we need black to the future, right? Yeah, that's a bit reductive. That's like, it's saying it's all about, yeah, that's a, Right, like they did the black Little Mermaid, right?

I'm fine with it, but I would rather just see a new cool character that I think sometimes, and maybe those aren't the best examples, but it's almost like, You don't like black Little Mermaid? I don't mind, I think it's fine. I would have liked you to see a new character that is, But they're gonna do the little,

but understand that Disney's gonna do the Little Mermaid. It means a billion dollars. Right. So it's like, why not cast that American? Yeah. That to me is the issue that it's like, Hey, fucking relax. That's an American person,

or I say American because it's gonna be largely an American audience, although that movie will go global. From our perspective here in America, or North America, whatever you wanna say, this is an English speaking character. And to me, it's like, what? It doesn't, Matt, it's like, I think they're hitting the right note by going,

and now it's a black girl. And it's actually fucking, it is important when you look at, and you see these videos online of a young black girl going, there's this one meme that popped of this young girl going, she looks like me. That's fucking important. It's not just, it's like, because it's like, normally the Barbies are all Barbies,

and those are the ones that get the cartoon, and the commercials, and most of the toys. And then it's like, oh, okay, here's a Barbie of color, I guess you would say, where it's got brown skin, and it's like, and the little girl that shows up at school with the black Barbie in the 90s or the 2000s is sort of still being told like, this is the other Barbie. So fuck it, little mermaid, this is, by the way,

it's a fictitious character. The little mermaid isn't white, the little mermaid is actually flesh Crayola, or whatever the fuck it's like. And underwater. Yeah, relax, it doesn't exist, it's a fucking mermaid. So I think, and I'm a white dude, so it's like, and I want to act in shit,

you know what I mean, but I don't look at it like that whole like, took our job thing, because it's like, these are fucking stories, these are everybody's stories, and they need to get out there and. That's a good point, man. Here's my editorial comment on it. It would be nice if we really paid attention

to each other with an empathetic eye and looked at each other from other people's perspectives, because as a big white dude, if I see a young black girl that goes, she looks like me, that is representative of the country that we live in. Let's come up to the standard that we set out for ourselves to really truly be equal so that everyone has a chance at pursuing the American dream, which is dead.

But, you know, let's not kid ourselves, it's gone. But, you know, everyone being created equal, a pursuit of happiness, and everyone is free, and everyone, and no one should be afraid, and you need inclusion now, and shit sets it off. Look at what, you know, I mean, Trump gets in the White House and then the next year, there's more women and people of color running for public office than any other time.

These things have a way of, they work themselves, well, I don't know if they work themselves out, but like one thing inspires another thing. It's like women in women of color felt like maybe we're not included enough, so now we have to get out and run more, I feel some responsibility. Right, yeah, I think, yeah, I guess it totally makes sense. It totally makes sense, I used to think about how like

the Disney World commercials only had white people in them, right, so then if you're watching that as like a different color person, you think like, oh, Disney World's not even for me, right, like you might think that as a kid, right, which is crazy to think, right? And you'd be right, you'd be right, Disney World's not for you.

At the time, you probably couldn't, yeah, most people probably couldn't even afford it, yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, across the board, there's all sorts of people, that's for like, well, I don't know about you, I mean, your comedy and your life experience, I remember the joke you had about two tank tops, you know what I mean, like. Oh yeah.

Cold in the winter in the heaven, well, I'll just wear two tank tops. So, you know, it's like, I went to Disneyland when I was 13, you know what I mean? Little kind of didn't really give a fuck as much anymore, but me and my folks were, my brother and sister were older, they're nine and 11 years older than me, I'm sure they weren't interested in driving down

the fucking coast with mom and dad. No, I drove all the way down there. Yeah, we went from Vancouver all the way to, went to Tijuana actually too. For what, for dad? Yeah, just so you could buy like a cheap bottle of Kahlua. God, risking your whole family's life to get that bottle of liquor.

He's a fucking crazy Italian sailor, you know what I mean, that's what I learned from him. Does he still sail? No, no, not anymore, because he's dead. So he might be, he might be sailing in some other dimension that he's in with. They boop it, boop it, a beppo in the sky, huh? Boop it, a beppo in the sky, yes.

But yeah, we were always camping and, you know, wops on boats, fishing up pregnant salmon and breaking laws. But, you know, I got down to Disneyland and we had a, my old man was a waiter and a maitredee downtown at the Hotel Vancouver had a wonderful job, you know, they're Italian immigrants. Mom was a stay-at-home mom, you know what I mean? We had that income, there was three siblings

and, you know, we could have a fucking whatever, big old house that was built in the 70s, big fucking barn five bedroom house in the suburbs. Yeah, I think that a lot of kids look at the Disneyland thing and go, you know, I'm not allowed, I can't fucking get to Disneyland. But with regard to commercials now, it's like the opposite. There is no such thing as a non-interracial couple

in any commercial anymore. Yeah, people are definitely interracial, double-racial. Yeah, it's, which to me is like, that's the good experimental ground, commercials. You know, corporate America running television networks and movies, I mean, that was a hell of a fucking switch to turn where it's like, you know what we're gonna do? Little Mermaid is gonna be a person of color.

Be a black girl playing Little Mermaid. Oh, fuck, Katie Barth of the Doors. This is gonna be a firestorm. But what you do is you do the Sandals commercial or, you know, a Swiffer commercial and you fucking dumb husband, he can be a white guy, the wife is Asian, or you have a black husband and, you know, East Indian wife, all sorts of,

that's where they test it out. And when you see like, oh shit, you know, nobody wants to drink sunny delight because you fucking put an interracial couple in it. All right, well, the master cut, the company behind Sunny Delight, which is IBM by the way, they make Sunny Delight. Do they really?

Yeah, they make, they're responsible for Sunny Delight. Damn, I knew it. Yep, so they're going to go, they're going to go, okay, this was a good experiment, you know, and then they're like, make, you know, make the Little Mermaid a person of color. It's the proving ground, commercials. Also because no one's watching them.

We're all fast forwarding through them anyway. Yeah, but you're right, it's like, this is what, it's like, let's see, and it's also the business attached to it, I got to pee really fast, man. Can I pee and then we'll get back in? Yeah, don't do the rug, right? All right, huh? No.

Dude, if someone's like, do you miss sometimes working? Do you miss being like young and having that first job that you had? Remember that kind of energy back then? Yeah, man. Yeah, I do, I miss it. I miss like being super enchanted by the business. Yeah.

And I just mean any job. Oh, sure, any fucking job. Yeah, you know, for me in particular, you know, working in show business and stuff, which I was fortunate enough to get started in when I was younger, when I was like a teenager and shit. Yeah, I mean, you've had an amazing career of entertaining people.

Yeah, has it changed recently? Has things changed in the past like five years? I mean, even on talking about like AI and stuff and even like looking at that and just thinking of what the possibilities could be or couldn't be. And the value actually of still being like, you know, of having a personality that, you know, it kind of goes back to like that John Henry,

the steel driving man or whatever, remember that story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that story Zachary, can you bring it up? And it was like they had the machine that was, that challenged the guy to like chisel through the mountain. Okay, yeah. And it was, you got it Zach? John Henry, the steel driving man.

So John Henry was a mighty man. He was spent his day drilling holes and then a company, a railroad company came along and decided that they could go through this mountain with a machine. And so they challenged him with the man against the machine. I was thinking of a different John, not a John. I don't know.

That's a porn guy you're thinking of. Yeah, I was thinking John. Similar, still drilling, but a little bit different deal. And what happened at the end of it? So this is the Wikipedia, the contest of all of Henry, competing against the rail line. The steam drill machine could drill, but it could not shake the chippings away.

So its bit could not drill further and it frequently broke down. So that's kind of what happened. It just couldn't finesse, it didn't have enough finesse. It didn't have enough acumen in the end, you know? Yeah, it's like AI, needs us still, needs John Henry. It still needs John Henry. Yeah, we got to clear away the chips.

You're still gonna want a guy who's like, who can do, who can be like real, I think. Until AI can be an audience for AI and we're just extinct and it's just computers. I don't even understand why you would need a planet at that point, we're gonna need humans until that point. I mean, whatever, we rule, right? I mean, we make soup out of sharks and shit.

We do whatever the fuck we want. Until dogs get super smart, like in that Rick and Morty episode, it's still gonna be us. I think we're still the champs. There's not gonna be a whole lot. So long as the rock is around. If there's someone who can fuck up AI, it's the rock.

I always say pour water on it. If we don't like AI, very simple, pour water on it. But the rock could actually, that would be like a great comeback and wrestling fans are always, they thought it was gonna happen this year with the rock versus his actual cousin of sorts. They're related in some way, Roman Reigns,

who is the Universal and World Heavyweight Champion right now. People thought the rock was gonna come back. If somehow Vince McMahon and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon could put together the rock versus AI, that would be a good one and my money's on the rock, even though the outcomes are predetermined. Yeah, when you look,

cause you did some wrestling stuff, right? Yeah, we did a bunch of cross promotion and shit with Mad TV, we did some weird stuff and then over the years I've done things here and there. Was it crazy to be out in the ring? Dude, the weirdest, it was the weirdest shit in the world. We did a, so we did like a long sort of program with, we did a thing with Bret Hart in the late 90s

with Mad TV or he came on the show and then we had this like a thing or he attacked me on the show and everyone bought it. You know, we went on CNN and shit like that and I was like, oh, I'm gonna sue the fucking guy and we kept it kayfabe as they say, like kept it all and Bret Hart is very old school. I always say that we had this,

it culminates in this match that we had in Tampa and the night before we go to the bar and Bret's like, okay, so, and a couple of my buddies flew out to see it and it's like, all right, so me and so and so and your pals, we're gonna go in and then like 20 minutes later, then you can come in and I'm like, the fuck, I wanna come in

and oh, because tomorrow we got the match. You know? And I'm like, okay, well, the child in me is like, this is the fucking coolest thing in the world but then I'm sitting in the bar by myself and people are like, you know who's right over there, Bret Hart, you better get out of here. So we did like this long thing

and then we had this sloppy, well, it wasn't a sloppy match because Bret Hart, the excellence of execution, the best there is, best there was and best there ever will be who could happen to have had a match with a 300 pound bag of flour on that day. It doesn't matter who's in the ring with him, right? He had a match, I was there.

That was amazing. We did a thing with Stone Cold where, you know, I was doing an impersonation of him, was dressed up just like that. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. Yeah, Chris Jericho brings me out and then there's an AI fat bitch, Titty Will Sasso right there in the middle speaking of, look at that.

That's not even me but that's exactly the sort of Robert Paulson tit we're talking about. Fuck yeah. But yeah, Chris Jericho brings me out and then the real Stone Cold comes out and scares the fuck out of me. Oh, I did a Hulk Hogan thing where Cain Chokeslammed me while we were promoting the Three Stooges.

That was bizarre. Who has the best tits, you think? What men have the best kind of bigger tits, you think? Look up bigger tits on men. The most impressive. Let's see top 10. Oh, look at this guy with the, they're like, it looks like two sourdough loaves a little bit

to the right and a little lower. The guy who's looking down, there you go, look at that guy. That's something. Oh, God, yeah. You know who's got- Those are damn cheesy biscuits, huh? You know who's got an impressive chest is Bray Wyatt.

He's an incredible wrestler. I love him. He's great. He usually is wearing some sort of top or sort of tank, but whenever you can see him, if you look up Bray Wyatt Husky Harris in his Husky Harris days with that gimmick, the tits were out and I loved it.

Wow. Yeah, because it was like, that's me. That's me and my tits. Oh yeah, that looks like also- That's representation. I'm the little black girl going, the little mermaid's like me. I'm watching Bray Wyatt, whom I fucking revere.

He's an incredible, look, all professional wrestlers are actually actors who happen to be doing a bunch of other shit. That's why they cross over so well. This guy is a storyteller and he's got a set of tits like me and that makes me like him. Yeah.

Oh, he's got them. Yeah, let me see a little bit more of his tits. I can't even see them, Zach. Yeah, you gotta really look for Bray Wyatt's tits. There's not a whole lot of, Wyndham Rotunda is his name. Wyndham Rotunda. Oh, there you go a little bit.

He keeps them to himself. There we go. That's a good one. I respect him more, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, it's not, he's not just. There's not just images of it everywhere. Oh, there's a good one.

Yeah. Oh, wow. See, that's me. That's me in the morning. That's a young girl. Going to my wife, Molly, and saying, come on. Let's have coffee. Can I have one of your waffles?

And she's like, no, those waffles are for me. And I'm like, come on. Let me have a waffle. She's like, no, you're not having a waffle. Have something low carb and then we'll go to the gym. Make yourself a protein shake. Can I have banana and the protein? No, there's too much sugar in the,

and I'm like, but come on, look at these tits. You look so weird pulling your briefs up to your belly button like that. Yeah, but I don't want my pan is gut hanging out. I already got my Bob Paulson tits. Yeah, I want that tit, boy. Yeah, man. Now tell me about this, dude.

What news we got, Zach? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Dude, what do you miss? Do you miss doing the, the, cause yeah, you were, you were out of the podcast for a while, huh? Yeah. I finished up doing podcast, the doing the 10 minute podcast.

And that was like 2018, I think, 17. Do you miss doing it? Yeah, but it was also like too short cause it was only 10 minutes. Yeah, it's a lot of time. Yeah, we've recorded a bunch of them at the same time. And I like doing dude's way more. The time flies as we're, you know,

like talking here, doing this shit with you, dude. It's fun. I like that better. But I did, I did dig doing 10 minute podcast for a few reasons. One of them was cause it was audio only. So it was a little bit more theater of the mind. And I used to, I used to like, I used to, you know,

I guess produce the show. Like I would, I would just geeking around in GarageBand and I would bring in a bunch of weird sound cues and stuff. So for me, I, man, I love doing it. It was real creative. It was fun and it was creative and it was kind of therapeutic for me. So I loved nerding out and going,

like recording the episode and thinking, okay, I'm going to put a sound effect here and do that. And then later going, going in and especially at the end, it got so weird. There were all these, there was this, you know, inside jokes like this NWO theme song. If you know, you know, wrestling drops and Charles Manson thing.

Remember that? It made it into every episode. It was like, Oh, they say, do you feel blame? Are you mad? Are you moose, gues, gues,る. Who's got who's guu-dug guu-du. Who's got who's rabbit babble. That fucking meme of just a, are you mad?

Do you feel blame? And there was who's guu-guu-du, who's guu-guu bench, where it's like, oh, fuck, he's sort of making a little bit of sense. Nope, nope. He's the devil helter, skelter, horrible, horrible, horrible,

horrible man. the devil responsible for all of it. Killed a woman and a baby, this is terrible. Why am I putting this in my podcast? Because there's nothing funnier than, are you mad? Do you feel blame? Roots good, boots good, finish.

Roots good, boots good, finish. Fucking loses his fucking mind. Is that Charles Manson? It's fucking Charles Manson. I was putting it in every episode. And then myself, at the end of the show, it was, well, first it was, it was Brian and Chris. You remember those guys?

Yeah, yeah. What are they up to? And then there was, Chad Colchin did it with me and our good buddy Tommy Blacha, the funniest man in the world. And Tommy and I, at least, were always like, moves good, finish, moves good, finish, moves good, finish. Did y'all ever think about starting it back up?

Was there ever a conversation to? Yeah, you know, for a while, like a few years ago, yeah, Brian and Chris were like, maybe we don't do this again. And I was like, I don't know, maybe. And then, I don't know, I think they're both living in Costa Rica. Yeah, yeah.

What happened? Yeah, they definitely hit, they hit some snags. Everything's gonna be fine. Look, be honest, let's be very transparent, get out ahead of any issues you may have had, or don't. I don't know, I don't have the answers. Yeah, I think a lot of that's hard to, yeah, I mean, I don't know, I mean, yeah, that's all that's.

A good thing to say is, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, real, yeah, but anyway. That's kind of their own journeys, yeah. I mean, I think they've both been through, you know, they've both dealt with, I mean, different, you know, they've been through a lot of that. Yeah, it's a lot, it sure is a lot.

A whole world of that is a lot. Whenever I start to think about it, I immediately stop. Yeah. Because I go like, that's a lot, and see, I'm stopping right now. Yeah, same, man. There, but for the grace of God. What else we got in the news, Zachary?

I don't know if you saw, there were a woman, I guess, had a full body orgasm during an LA Philharmonic show, and it was captured on audio. Oh, they need this at the orchestra. Anything to get there. They need some hype, yeah. They need somebody just coming in the distance, homie. Do you wanna hear it?

Yeah. The guy recording it is laughing. Well, I thought I heard a little chuckle. That might have been Zach. That might have been me. I don't know, man, it says, during Tchaikovsky's fifth symphony at the LA Philharmonic last night, apparently a woman had a full body orgasm

just from the music. It was recorded. Yeah. This sounds like, to me, this is hype just to get people to go to the orchestra. Yeah, she was, yeah, they planted her in there. Dude, a violin ain't making people see you and me anymore. You know?

No, it's, yeah. Those days are over, dude. And also the demographic that goes to the Philharmonics, usually a little bit older. A lot of the blue hairs are going. So I think for an older woman to coom, it would probably take a lot more than, yeah, Tchaikovsky's fifth.

Maybe some Beethoven, maybe some Ludwig van. Oh, yeah, some Ludwig veg Beethoven, dude. What about this? That sounded like somebody's spraining an ankle, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah, she just had a leg cramp. She's just been a fucking feeder asleep, watching the fucking Philharmonic.

What kind of miserable orgasm is that? Oh, come on. But also, we don't know that that was a, like afterwards, like, is it one of those things like, you know, people are raving about the LA Philharmonic. I came. Like, we don't know that that's what it is. It just makes for a cool story on the internet.

That would be the best shirts if they started telling that. LA Philharmonic. I came. Or that mural that you see on the 110 downtown, where there's always like all these fucking people that are in the LA Symphony, you're like, I don't know who the fuck that is. Put LeBron on the fucking, on a building.

You know those things where it's like, if you drive in LA, it should be like the guy, like the yasik, whatever his name is, who's like super popular conductor. And then it should just be like, I came. As a matter of fact, here's this episode's called Arms. If you are into graffiti and street art, please put, I came across any of the LA Philharmonic murals.

There we are. There we go, right there. Oh yeah, this guy. And that guy, let me say on the right, also looks like a French pedophile dude. Anybody with a wood instrument, I feel like definitely, wood instruments are a gateway drug.

I feel like to take an advantage of your students. That's what I feel like. Yeah. There's all sorts of white space all over that guy at the top. You could totally do like. I can. You know what?

Let me tell you something about my pad Chad culture. He was working with some weirdos at USC years ago. He didn't go through with this, but to build a drone that would do street art. So it could like just like paint the fucking top few floors of the US Bank building, maybe make it look like a penis. That would be something good for those tech kids.

Forget about this AI thing, build a drone that can get some graffiti on the mural up there to make it really look legit. So even the people who work with the LA Philharmonic are driving by and like, well, I guess that's there on purpose. LA Philharmonic, I came with a QR code that when you point your phone at it from the freeway,

it goes, ah, yeah, yeah, that sounded like a plating. Oh, here's what that sounds like. It sounds like when somebody hands like at a restaurant, somebody hands like a waiter, hands a gay dude, a really hot plate. Don't touch that. Ah, what did you tell me? Sir, I did tell you. Yeah, that does sound like the driest old lady orgasm

I've ever heard of. Ah! It sounds like a woman, yeah. It's like, oh, I had an orgasm, but I don't feel good. It's like, oh man, I think my orgasm ate something bad. That was the worst feeling. You've had orgasms that don't feel, oh yeah. Some of it were just painful and I just feel a pit

in my stomach. Ah! Yeah! That sounds like there was something big in her. Yeah, God. Not a penis. Yeah! Yeah, a foot.

What else we got, Zach? I guess there was a bust at McDonald's and they found a bunch of 10-year-olds working at McDonald's in Louisville. Oh yeah, this is crazy. And I guess they were working late hours and also operating the deep fryer. The fryer!

Would you have to be 16 to operate the fryer? Yeah. Look, I think if they're responsible kids and they want to do it, I'm okay with it. Well, it would be cool to... We say kids don't want to work and all this stuff. We finally catch two kids doing something and we frickin' bust them.

Oh my God, dude. Yeah, you want to talk about the generational differences in this country. Back during the fucking Great Depression, there was kids who were farming entire fucking fields and all the soil was dead and then four seeds and they're feeding an entire family and they're seven years old pushing a plow.

And now you stay away from the fryer. You've seen it, you know how it works. You fucking toss some nuggets in it from a few feet away if you're too short to reach the top. What's the fucking problem? Get us those nuggets. That's it, dude. This is the, that McDonald's needs to like

hang on to this story and just blame the kids when the ice cream machine doesn't work. It's like, it's not our fault. We got fucking kids back here. Yeah, it's Mario and Hector's fault. Yeah, there's a picture of them. They're back here. Oh, no doubt these were not the kind of kids

who get to go to Disney World like we were talking about. These are not those kids. These are definitely, definitely, yeah, I would imagine they may have been, I mean, of course these are the kids. But that would be a good commercial. So the kids would be like, he's like me. Yeah, he's like me, dog.

He's at Disney World. But the crazy thing is, bro, if you go to Disneyland, it is all Mexican people. Sure. That's also the irony of it, dude. You go there, it's fucking Latinos, dog. Yeah. It is Mickey Mouse 13.

Well, they could cook anything. I mean, I always feel like, you know, if I go to a sushi place, like you love to go into the sushi place, and though you should or should, and then you see behind the counter, behind the bar, it's like two guys are like, these guys are right out of Jiro dreams of sushi.

I'm always like, oh, this is gonna be great. Or if I see some Latino dudes, I'm like, this is gonna be fucking awesome. Cause they also come with fucking flavor. They're not afraid. I'm not trying to be a weirdo here, but they're not afraid to put like, like a little tapatio or chalula in there.

Or shoot a fucking bullet right into it. How come this is, yeah. That's the restaurant, dog. Oh, did you hit it with the blow torch or the top? Were they like, oh, he seared salmon? No, it's just. Like, man, now there's a 22 cartridge in my hue. Well, you don't know what I'm saying, bro.

That's what I'm talking about. You never believe how I heated this up, fool. You want these, you want the egg sinaloa? You know what I'm saying? What do you want for lunch? Dude, I can't wait to fucking be Mexican next time I'm alive, dude. Ah, that would be great.

I've already been praying about it. I've already been asking God about it. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to be, yeah. Well, I just want to have some other, I don't want to not be able to come back and be alive again.

That's scary to me. So I feel like I try to communicate with God about that and just let him know I do want to come back and I do have interest in it. It's almost like you're, you know, you meet somebody who runs a business and you're like, hey, you know, I'm like, you know, when I get out of college or whatever,

I want to stop by and fill out an application. Dude, my, you know, I mentioned my folks, right? They're Italian immigrants. My brother and sister both born over in Italy and they came over, my sister was a toddler, my brother was an infant. So his brain popped on the plane. So the, the, no, but anyway, you know, my folks are,

they're like, they're this big and brown and like olive skin, brown eyes, black hair. And I came out, you know, I'm six, three and had blue eyes. You're the focaccia, huh? It was like my mom, when I was born, I can't imagine it. You were a toddler in her. I was two feet tall.

My mom was five feet tall. So that's a problem. So I feel like I've got that little, like my mom's side of the family, little tiny cute Italians, funny, you know, singing, laughing. And my dad's side, I think has some more like Northern blood in him. So the next time around, I definitely have that coming.

I'm going to be like, like a Joe Pesci or you know, I'm going to be born in Columbia. And just like, you know, this is good. This is cool. And I got that coming to me. That's probably why I'm talking about, you know, inclusion in media and film and TV. Yeah, because what will we be next time, you know?

Yeah, I'm not going to be able to play like the, you know, the big dopey fat husband in sitcoms. Yeah. I'm going to have to be, I'm going to have to really bring it, you know, and it's like, I'm going to be on this fool, hopefully, if that show is still going. This fool, though. That show is fucking.

Is it? Oh, it's fucking. I got to check it out. Yeah, it's a good show. Yeah, I love being around like, like Mexican people and listening to them. And dude, a lot of them, did they have any Mexican people on mad TV?

Yeah. Well, the first, the first, before I was there, I don't apologize for that chair. I know it might be a little. No, remember the last time? Is this the same chair? Do you bring this for the other students? Last time it was hot, remember?

Yeah, it was hot. I was wearing a fucking hoodie and a Santa hat. And I sweat right through the member. There was like a nice big patch of I ruined the plethora. No, it's not that bad. I'm just, I wear shorts all the time. So my, my stuff is always. Oh, that's good.

Before I showed up at mad, there was Pablo Francisco stand up. And then, then it was while I was there, we had Nelson Asensio joined the cast and he was a fucking home run hitter. A lot of the shit was sorely missing from mad TV. Like, you know, because he was doing Enrique Glacias and Ricky Martin and they used to do this thing called Buenos Dia San Diego with him and Mo Collins.

It was so fucking funny. And then after that, I guess Angela Johnson, after I left Johnny Sanchez. Oh, yeah. So they, they, they finally got with it. Was there, was there, was there bits that they did that you guys did back then that y'all couldn't do now, you think?

All of them. Fucking dude, I, I watched like it was on HBO Max for a minute mad TV. So I was like, oh, okay, I'll go watch. Like, I haven't seen it on a television screen in so long. It's all just, you know, like degenerated videos on YouTube. So, but only half the episodes out of a given season, and there were 14 seasons of that show.

Only half of the episodes in a season would show up. And I remember talking to a couple of my cohorts, you know, going like, when it came out like, what happened? I think, and I think it's cause, well, this shit is too fucked up. I think there's a lot of stuff that if you remember, like if you remember some of it, it's like, what?

You can't, you can't do any of that shit anymore. You just can't. And not this, this is tame. This is, we're looking at Paul Timberman, which is like a, you know, a, you know, like a guy who's got like a- Woodworker, a wood shop teacher who cuts his appendages. Yeah, he's always, yeah, he's always hacking himself up.

And he's got to camera sort of this old house type show where he's like, I'm gonna build you a curio cabinet. And here's a, let's make a lazy Susan and I'm sawing my fucking hand off. But a lot of the stuff that's like, you know, a lot of the racial shit we did, we had it all, sexism, racism, you know, all the misogyny, homophobia.

But, you know, we also had, there were, there was a, you know, you can watch mad TV and I can watch mad TV and go, oh, that was, you know, this writer who's, who's like, this is a gay writer who wrote this. And it's like, incredible stuff where it's like slipping in, you know, their representation. There was this one, the brilliant writer who was there for most of the years of the show, I believe,

Scott King, Scotty King, who's a fucking genius. He, I remember this one sketch, it was like, you could just, you know a Scott King sketch when you see it. And there was, I remember there was this one where, it was just, it was TRL, right? So Pat Kilbane is Carson Daly and it just pans by the kids and was like, hey, what's up, welcome to TRL,

I'm Carson Daly, today on the show, rah, rah, rah. And the kids are screaming, it's like, we got NSYNC, Britney Spears and the kids are screaming. And it's all like, you know, teenage girls are like, ah, screamy and then he goes, and I'm Carson Daly. And all the girls sit down and a fat 12 year old boy goes, yay! You know, which is like, so fucking funny.

And it's like, that's Scott, that's Scott going, this is what I would have been. So, you know, even that, but even that though, if you put it, you know, today and it's all, you know, you can't fucking joke about anything or whatever. That's crazy. I wish they had a show called Fat and Gay. Yeah, Fat Gay 12 year old.

I would love to play the dad in Fat Gay 12 year old. You know what I mean? Cause also that's a fucking character arc for me. That's something for me as an actor to chew on. Cause at first I could be that dad who's like, well, no son of mine, that whole thing. We ain't gayin' out around either boy. Right, you know.

Yeah, eatin' another steak, eatin' another ham steak, Billy. Put the barrettes back in the car. You're not, we're not going to fucking forever 21. Yeah, you get that glitter off your kneecaps. Why you got glitter on your kneecaps? Did I hear you wore glitter on your kneecaps at the baseball game, Billy? It helps me, when I'm catching, you know,

I'm a catcher and I gotta bend at the knees and the glitter helps me with my flexibility. Now go get your helmet on, we're gettin' back in the game. But then after a while, you know, he grows to understand. Maybe the dad falls asleep in his chair, one night he's drunk, right? And then he wakes up and, you know, Billy Elliot is on or something.

Billy Elliot. It's like a movie about a gay kid in Australia. Or maybe, what's a gay, what's something with a gay kid in it? Glitter knees. Yeah, glitter knees, yeah. A YouTube is on and he finds out it's his son making it. He's watching like a makeup tutorial. And he's like, I recognize those knees.

Oh, that's a magic fart 60 right there. Right, and he's fuckin' painting and the kid's painting his knees up. The next you wanna do is you wanna contour your kneecaps and then you wanna put glitter on the kneecap and right down the middle and this is gonna give the appearance, he's gonna go, that sounds like Billy.

And then he kicks down the fuckin' door and Billy's live streaming and he's doin' a makeup tutorial puttin' glitter on his knees for the baseball team. Off my knees for dad, that's his handle. Off my knees for dad. Yeah, it's like he's tryin' to be not gay. He's like, I ain't bein' gay, boy. I'm off my knees for dad.

And then dad comes around to it and is like, I love you no matter what. And then, oh, oh, oh, oh, this is a lovely scene. Here's a lovely scene at the end of the first season of Billy Elliot. We've had the whole makeup tutorial and Billy's puttin' glitter on his knees and Bill Sr. is not havin' it

and they go through their whole thing and he comes around and so Billy's up to bat and he's super nervous and his dad never shows up to games. And he's like, he's there and he's about to hit and he's facein' a pitchin' machine run by an AI that only zooms him in 110 miles an hour and he's about to hit and he goes,

he hears, you can do it, Billy! And he looks out into the stands and his dad's there in a pair of jammer shorts and he pulls him up and he's got glitter on his knees. And the boy's like, and he hits a fuckin' home run. Like the natural, right? And it hits the fuckin' lights, because it's a night game, and then that's all glitter.

It hits the lights and there's two dudes behind the scoreboard, like back there, just slurping on each other, yeah. And one of them, right when it hits the scoreboard, he pops out like this, what the? And the other one's got his foot in his asshole and he goes, ah! Like he's at the Philharmonic.

And then Tchaikovsky starts playin' and that's a fuckin' TV show. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! That's how we get inclusivity, and that's how, and then I'll win a fuckin' Emmy, right? For playin' the fuckin' dad who came around, his good dude at the end of the day. And that's all I want.

Just a big white guy in a mustache, a fuckin' white identifying Southern Italian by blood, but I'm a big white Canadian who enunciates most words. That's how whenever I'm around Tom Green, we fuckin' out enunciate to each other. Hello, how are you, Tom? I am fine, Will, how are you? I am good.

What is your favorite beverage at Tim Hortons? I like coffee. I also like coffee. Do you like the donuts? I do, they make good donuts. That's the most Canadian shit. That's all, like the whole, eh, how's it goin', eh, hoser? That's a Canadian thing for sure,

but the most Canadian thing is to just be like, I'm sorry I cut you off in traffic. That is okay, have a good day. Thank you very much. Here is a Tim Hortons coupon. Thank you very much. Here is a Tim Hortons coupon. We exchanged Tim Hortons coupons on the freeway.

O-M-K-F-D, dude, off my knees for dad, bro. Off my knees for dad. That's the musical. God, and what we're tryin' to say is these kids shouldn't be workin' in McDonald's. That's all we're tryin' to say. Get the fuckin' poor Mexican kids out of McDonald's. Bullshit, these poor kids have to do it.

If they're gonna, dude, here's the thing. Every culture has had their time to be the working, the immigrant, like the first line of working in every culture has. Absolutely. Irish people did it. Black people did it by, I mean, they were, they had zero choice in the matter.

They didn't have a choice, but they did it. Italians did it. Built the fuckin' country, yeah. Starting with black people, then Irish people gettin' black lung in the, you know, you know, in the mines, and shit, Italians. Which is a little bit of reparations.

I'm not sayin' it wasn't reparations, but given that many people black lung, dude, is definitely a lot of people died from black lung. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, how many people died from black lung? About as many as they're replacing at IBM. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 70,000 miners die from coworkers' pneumonies in a sense.

A year now? Oh, that's fucked up. 76,000. Okay, so no, so it's still not closed, but it's like, anyway. Since 1968, 76,000. Right. Yeah, I mean, that's people die.

You know, as an Italian by blood, I always kind of go like, you know, and also because I don't look, you know, like Joe Pesci, I don't. No, you don't. I'm not an Italian. I got my dad's nose, but that's about it. You know, I always kind of feel like,

again, I'm not the person to say it because I don't look very Italian, but it's like, that's like the lightest, in my opinion, racism. Although I wasn't around in the 60s when a lot of, well, since the early 1900s, a lot of Italians were showing up in North America. But, you know, it feels like the 60s and the 70s,

a lot of immigration in Canada. And I kind of feel like that's a, speaking as an Italian, Italian North American, an Italian Canadian, American. You're an American. Baja. Yeah, from the Baja, all the way down to South American Italian.

You know, I always kind of feel like, eh, you know, you can't really be racial against Italians. Like, what are you gonna say? And I feel like that Mario movie that came out, and it's, and people were like, you know, they hired, you know, they got Chris Pratt played Mario, which is something we talked about on Doodzy a lot, because it was like, the first trailer you saw,

it's like, I'm Mario. It's a me, Mario. What is this place? The Mushroom Kingdom. Where am I? I'm Mario. That's not what he's supposed to sound like. But you know, the studio got pressure,

because it's like, you hire the biggest star that you can hire, and there's no real like, you know, Guido sounding Italian American right now. Maybe Sebastian Maniscalco could have done it. I don't know that there would be a, you know, but you gotta be a movie star, you know what I mean? To push those numbers and make a billion, that movie made a billion dollars.

And I wanna say, as an Italian American, hire whoever you want. That's my offering to inclusion. Chris Pratt's just fine. We in the Italian community don't give a shit, because you can't really be racist against Italians. You're gonna make fun of pasta. It's delicious, fuck you.

Get whoever you want. You could even get the gal who played the little mermaid to play Mario for healthcare. What about Black Mario? Black Mario would have been fine, and there should have been a Black Mario video game. There should be like one mushroom that he hits, that, you know, turns him into a black guy.

So then it's like C. Thomas Howell in that movie Soulman, which is fucked up. It's just a dude in blackface, and Radon Chong buys it. Remember this? Do you remember that movie? Dude, I remember Blackface. So yeah, I remember. Yeah, you were around in the-

I mean, I remember dudes doing it. Soulman is the trippiest fucking movie. It's a, wait, I've never seen this. This a white guy? Oh, yeah, there's a movie in the 1980s where C. Thomas Howell goes undercover, essentially, to go to college, and he pretends to be a black man, and then he hooks up with Radon Chong,

who absolutely buys it, and we were all fine with it in the 80s, and that's not a problem in the 80s, and this was a feature film that came out in the movie theater. Wow. We have a history of comedy in this country that is hard to reckon with now, but I like to say that I'm grandfathered in,

because I was on fucking Mad TV in the 90s and the 2000s there, where we, if you wanna cancel me, just watch Mad TV, and then, you know, I'm fucked. Do you think at a certain point we'll be able to have character where everybody can be whatever? At some point, it should be able to be that way.

I think that the shit's being stretched back so far now, it's like this. I feel like we're all in this weird, it's like I said, these things happen every 30 years, at some point, with regard to, you know, social, you know, just the sand at the bottom of the sea get mixed up, and before the smoke clears, this social upheaval that seems to happen every 30 years,

we are in the middle of it now, we're in a pivotal point in our country and in our culture, and it's my hope that everyone, that what we'll be left with is equality for everybody, and if we could actually, and again, I don't, not to sound negative, but I don't think it's possible. As much as I would like to see,

but I'm Canadian, we have our problems there for sure. A lot of crimes against the indigenous First Nations people of Canada, which is just absolutely fucking tragic, we have our problems there, with other race relations also as well. But I'm from Canada where at least the kind of the, the curriculum as a kid, you know, was way more multicultural than it is here.

I got here and I was like, wow, it's really fucking segregated socially. Oh, we had a scratch and sniff history book, I remember for a while. See, and the Italian scratch and sniff would have been fucking great. No racism there. Kids would have worn that out,

just smelling fucking Bifuroni or whatever you'd put in an American textbook. Dude, they just, going? No, I was just gonna say we're all fucked, but you know, the thing about it is, I hope with regard to comedy, that, you know, the comedy is just fucking comedy. We gotta laugh, gallows humor is really important.

And if we're treating each other well and there's, you know, equality socially, and everyone can laugh, because everyone feels good about where they are in life, and we are a society that takes care of one another. And I mean, again, I'm from Canada where there's socialized medicine. It's pretty fucking good.

And if you're not living in a fucking world where you're allowed to walk around and fucking eat berries and kick a chicken against a tree, and you know, do whatever you want and just build a fucking house without any code or anything like that, if we're gonna live in a society where you're born into a fucking system,

system needs to take care of everybody, period. And it ain't fucking happening, and that's gonna be my platform. But if that's the case and we can achieve something like that, again, I do not think it's possible at all, we're fucked. Let me just put that in there, I ain't running for office. But if we can do that,

then we can start to laugh at absolutely everything again. Right now, people are not wanting to laugh at shit, and they have every right not to laugh at shit because stuff is fucking dire. So you can't go on mad TV and make fun of absolutely everybody. Although, you know, we had Harry Spears, Deborah Wilson, Phil Lamar.

But it was funny at the time. Hilarious, makes me fucking laugh now. Those people, I learned so much about black culture and laughing, you know, with them and also growing up watching the living times. Don't you think that most people still just wanna laugh? They don't really care? I think so, but I think it's just like,

it's like, you know, it's like, no one's gonna let themselves fucking laugh. You know what I mean? Now that's interesting. Do we let ourselves laugh? No, because- Do we keep ourselves from, yeah, we all get on this alert kind of where it's like,

don't point at me, don't offend me, you know? I mean, I got upset over the pandemic, over like during the last big election thing, because the only people that people were making fun of was poor white people, right? And it was like, well, what the fuck did we do? It's like, poor white people, they didn't even, like, we didn't do it.

Like, we didn't do race. Like, I'm not sure that wealthier white people probably own slaves. I don't know any, nobody I knew had a, they didn't, I don't think they ever had a slave, you know? Or they might've, but I couldn't imagine it, dude. But it's socially, it's just, if you look at it generally,

totally socially acceptable to make fun of poor white people in 2020, totally, totally acceptable. And none of it should be acceptable. Unfortunately or fortunately, things do need to be mixed up a bit and you need, and you know, I always, I use the example of in 2020, learning about Juneteenth. I was like, I didn't fucking,

I was telling black friends, I mean, never heard of the fucking Juneteenth. I don't know what the fuck that is. What is that? I had no clue that there was a- Most of my black friends have no idea what it is until it came out. It was that too, yeah.

They kind of launched it a few years ago. I feel like, I mean, I know they didn't, but it's like, if you'd have asked any black kid where I'm from or what Juneteenth was, it'd have no fucking clue. Yeah, no, but it's interesting what you're saying about, like, it's like, oh yeah, it's easy to make fun of fucking, you know, poor white people.

I feel like that's another symptom of the social sort of, again, the silt at the bottom of the ocean getting smoked up. Do you think we as over comedians, then we have to be the ones to kind of like see where the thing is at then, you know? I think, yes, I think, you know, in your avenue with podcasting and standup,

and sort of, you know, I'm primarily an actor, but I love doing weird shit on the internet and doing podcasting and stuff. And also, you know, if I can be responsible for any sort of weird creative shit if I ever get to, you know, work on things and make stuff, it is up to us, but it is also, it's quite a responsibility because we're,

it's this bizarre currency of quote unquote, cancellation, which some people don't even think exists, which is, to me, it's weird, it's like, well, you just said cancellation, that means that it's a word, it's a term, it exists. And I think that you have to be brave comedian to kind of, look, it's not fun to just go out there and go, I want things to be the way they used to be in the 90s.

That, to me, personally, as a comedy fan, to me, that's hack. It's like to not push shit fucking forward. Great comedians have a complete, like I'm sure you love them, I love George Carlin, right? Like, just come on. That guy was always years ahead of his time and always shot right down the middle.

You knew exactly what he was thinking and he represented himself completely honestly. I think that comedians who are being 100% honest and not just trying to be shocking for shocking sake or say, I should be allowed to say this because I said it in 1995. I think audiences today, that's fine, but your audience is gonna be awfully specialized

if you just wanna be a prick about things and say everyone should laugh at these things that currently people are sensitive about and for good reason. If you can find new things to laugh about, there are new things to laugh about in our completely fucking bizarre social climate. It's fucking bizarre.

You just said, I got black friends that grew up with that wouldn't have known Juneteenth. That's a joke you couldn't say in 1998 because absolutely nobody knew what the fuck you were talking about with Juneteenth. But 2020 was such a rife year of the pandemic and the social black lives matter. It was wild.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like now I think you can, but you gotta be smart about it and I'm not smart about it. I don't, I'm not saying that's me at all. And I'm not smart about it. Yeah, I've never been smart, yeah. But I do think that,

I think that people will start to chill out a little bit because socially what happens in my opinion, mine is just my opinion with these waves is that people all get fucking tired. At the end of the day, we just wanna, most people just want the same shit. They wanna be able to take care of their families. They wanna have something nice for dinner.

They wanna know that they're safe at home. They wanna know that if they go to the wrong fucking door, they're not gonna get shot in the face. The horrible shit that's happening right now because everyone is so wound up and charged up. It's truly fucking scary. People are scared, man. I realized the other day I'm walking up to a car

and it wasn't my car. I get right by the door handle. I realize it wasn't my car. It looked just like my car. There's somebody sitting in that car and I'm like, oh my God, that person could fucking shoot me. Right now? Yeah.

And I wouldn't even think it was crazy because that's just where the fear level is at. It's like all these POV videos of all this fear. It's interesting, man. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a fiery time out there. And I'm never afraid of anything because I look like a gigantic football coach cop and I drive a Tahoe.

So I could, I could technically be a park ranger. We need that Alex Jones back though. Just, just in general. I think we need him. You know what I would love to see him do. And this is what I thought he was going to get into was like a regular guy's job after he had the big lawsuit against him

was manager and like a Denny's or something. Manager and like an IHOP. Yeah, I got, you got to get the moons over my, they're making the moons over my hammy. Gay. I'm a humanist. You got, you got, let me tell you something about these people out here eating mozzarella sticks.

I've eaten mozzarella sticks of Bohemian Grove. It was invented by Mark Twain. Just originally, and originally it was just a place for these globalist people to, it was actually a lot of closeted homosexual activity happening there, mostly by Republicans. But Democrats took it over and John F. Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy Jr., Bobby Kennedy.

They went out to Bohemian Grove. You can still go there, it's in Northern California. And they're deep in the forest, wearing robes like druids. And having co-cups. Sir, I need, I want an omelette, sir. I'm waiting for an omelette. Yeah, what do you want?

How would you like your eggs? You want white toast, wheat toast. I hate this uniform. Just always ripping off this fucking polo shirt. You want to see my name tag? Ah, you know, and these people are, they're reptiles. I've seen it up close. They don't have skin like you and me.

I've been up close. I've been next to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton. These people are not human. They're interdimensional beings. They come in, they open wrens in the fabric of time and space and they walk through. And I don't want to see it. Everybody wants the same thing at the end of the day.

They just want to be able to watch, you know, sit down, eat their free hollies. Watch white porn with their family. Watch white porn with their family. And watch this fool on TBS. What's up with the acting, man? What's going on? You got dudesy going?

Any new adventures going on with you? I'm about to go shoot a movie in Canada called 1989. No. Yeah, that'll be fun. You ever heard of a Canadian classic called Fubar? OK, so. I know what it means. Yeah.

So there's Fubar and there's Fubar, too, and this fucking brilliant dude. There's these two guys, you know, Deener and Terry. And one of them, Paul Spence, who's he's the one in the green on the right there. OK. And then Terry's on the left. So it's the origin story of the Deener, of Dean.

And I play his dad, and he's part First Nations. So there's sort of that bent to it, which will be interesting, which is a very Canadian theme. So I'm doing that. I'm doing another season of the show Acapulco. And then, I don't know, just picking up acting work. It's fucking weird now because we got this strike. Oh, yeah, the strike's going on now.

Listen, I just want to do, again, I would love to just play the dad in, what is it, Billy Elliot? What's it called? Oh, Billy Elliot. Sparkle needs. Don't get off my knees for that. Yeah. That's that would be at this point.

You know, look, here's some more. Here's some more defeatist negativity for me. Yeah. I don't know what's happening to our business. When I think about, you know, what my pad Chad Colchin says with regard to AI, and he'll point right the fuck at me and go, your job will be obsolete very soon. And I'm like, no, it won't.

And I go, your job will be obsolete very soon. He's a brilliant writer and he goes, bring it on, motherfucker. Can't wait. He's doing a couple of podcasts. So I guess his bread is buttered there. Hopefully we continue to do Dudezy. I love acting. It's my, you know, it really is my passion.

Yeah, man, we do so, you offer so much joy and talent to people. Cheers, man. Likewise, dude. No, not like you do something now. What do you mean I do something? You do something. You have a real skill set. What are you talking about?

You fucking up in front of thousands of people bringing your stories out there. That's, you're one of the best doing it right now, period. So, you know what I'm saying? It's true, Theo. I feel like you're a really, really talented man. I feel like you're really, really talented. Here's a Tim Hortons.

And I'll give you a Tim Hortons thing. Thank you very much. Two for one donut. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, look, everything's fine then. Yeah, everything's fine. Yeah, I think we're gonna be okay. Hey, this is the bottom line, everybody.

Everything's gonna be fine. Just, you know, hang out at home. And when you eat them chicken nuggets, know that two, you know, probably underprivileged children, they were 10 years old, made your nuggets. So when you get to the center and you see that it's pink and you realize, oh fuck, you know, now I'm gonna be shitting myself all night.

Just know it's not the kid's fault. They don't know how to work the fucking fryer. Get your own fucking fryer and go out to Bohemian Grove and make your own fucking make a fire and boil some peanut oil and make your own chicken nuggets, kick a chicken against a tree. These are actors.

A lot of those guys are, a lot of them are actors. Oh yeah, there's a lot of, you wanna talk about, you wanna talk about what is it, Space Land Pizza or whatever without the basement where the guy went in there and shot it up. The guy came on a napkin for the kids. Yep, came on a napkin with his glittery knees. You're listening to Tchaikovsky

and just coming as hard as you can out there. There's nothing before us out there at Bohemian Grove. Come as loud as you want, you crazy old weird fucking pervert lady. I love it. We get her out there, we all wear masks. You know, fucking sex party style like Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

And no one knows who's who. And I just got my fist up in something. There's a little heat in there and then I pull it out and I hear, ooh, and I'm like, it's Mitch McConnell. I know that's Mitch McConnell. I've made him come several times at Bohemian Grove. Yeah, Nancy Pelosi wearing a strap on fucking Mitch McConnell in the ass

and then just put, where's his hole like a shoe? And he goes, ooh. I like that all the time, he rockin' and roll. Start playing in the background. The kind of music just soothes the soul. And it's actually Bob Seeger. I reminisce about the days of old when you could make shitty jokes on mad TV.

Oh my God. God, boy, free cum for everybody. That's what they're doing. You know what I think is interesting though, Will? I think in the end, I think we all end up back in the Native American style. I think that something happens with society. I think it falls at some point.

It has to. It doesn't hold up. And I think we all end up back in small tribes trying our best to take care of each other and begging for the information of the nations, the original nations people. I think anyway, who knows? I don't know.

The earth has a way of making itself new, whether or not we're here. And it's like Ed Norton said in Fight Club, in the future, I see you will be climbing the wrist-thick kudzu vines up the Sears Tower because all this shit will be turned off. AI won't be any fuckin' worry. And it will be tribes.

Have you watched Chimp Empire? Not yet. Watch Chimp Empire on Netflix. That's where we're goin'. Yeah, they're of course, you know, they're chimps. They share 99% of our DNA. And I learned a lot of stuff about fuckin' chimps. And I agree with you.

They're tribal. And I feel like, and they just wanna take care of their own and every once in a while, they kill someone from the other fuckin' tribe to show like, hey, our alpha's better than yours. And, but I agree. And speaking as a Canadian, I would love nothin' more than to, you know,

eat fuckin' raw salmon that's been, again, prepared by any of the guys at the sushi place that are searing the top with a freshly used AK-47. Yeah. Well, and that's, by the way- A lot of times, they're like painting their eyes like that on the edge of Mexican guys to make them even look Asian in a lot of like Japanese restaurants.

That's what's crazy to me. You seen this, Zach? Bring it up. Wait, that's the thing? Japanese-ing out Mexican guys. Dude, are you wearing tights? I'm wearing these shorts, and now I got the same, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm, I'm moistenin'

your chair again. I like that. I got glittery knees and fuckin' wet thighs right now. It's that time of year, man. Yeah. We'll wrap up soon. What happened here, Zach? Are you seein' any of this? No, I'm not, I'm not findin' any.

Mexican man, Chinese restaurant. That's not what you should look up in. What should I look up? What should I look up? Mexican-ing Chinese people. Are you lookin' on images, man? Mexico's Chinese communities are seeing reverse migration. That's not it.

Go to SushiDan.com. They got a few of those guys workin' there. I'm joking, of course. Well, people know what we mean. Um, Will Sasso, ladies and gentlemen, you can check him out on the Dude Z-Pod. Um, I think we talked about a lot of stuff, huh? Yeah, dude.

Yeah. This was awesome, man. Man, thank you so much for coming in. It was a pleasure, and uh, yeah, good luck with AI, man. Just be careful. I will. Now I'm just floatin' on the breeze and I feel I'm fallin' like these leaves.

I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones, but it's going to take a little longer than I thought it's going to take.