This Past Weekend - E447 Trevor Wallace

Starting point is 00:00:00 I have some new tour dates to announce. I will be in Grantville PA on July 19th. That's Pennsylvania at Penn Heroes stage at Hollywood casino. Pre sale starts this Wednesday, June 7th at 10 a.m. Eastern with code rat king general on sale begins Friday, June 9th at 10 a.m. Eastern. We're also announcing a sixth Toronto show on August 19th at the Elgin Theater. Tickets for that show are on sale now. We also have tickets remaining for Austin, Texas, June 11th, Edmonton, Alberta, July 14th, Guilford, New Hampshire, July 20th, Windsor, Ontario, August 18th and Niagara Falls, Ontario, August 20th. Get all your tickets through TheoVon.com slash T-O-U-R. I'm so thankful to you guys for coming out and spending time.

Starting point is 00:00:57 Check out our classic merch with the racing, hunting, and fishing collections. We also have the classic rat tea, the I'm upstairs gear and more head over to TheoVonStore.com today to take a look. Today's guest is one of the most entertaining men on social media. He's been here before. I love getting to spend time with him. He has his studio right upstairs from ours and it's just great to know that there's such good creative energy in the building. He has his stiff socks podcast He tours and he's one of the most creative young men in the game

Starting point is 00:01:38 Today's guest is mr. Trevor Walsh. I'm going stay there. I'm gonna stay there. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Kelly Rowland, baby. Kelly Rowland.

Starting point is 00:02:12 We rolling. We rolling. You see me, Kelly Rowland. They hate. Chameleon air? They hate. He's like an investor now. Your chameleon air, um, chameleon air was, uh, Investor now. Dude, Chamillionaire,

Starting point is 00:02:27 Chamillionaire was, he had a studio by our first student, he had an office in our first studio. What was he doing in there? In the same building. He was just, Chamillion, I get whatever. I don't know what they do, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, last time he was just a big investor in a bunch of like business shit.

Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah, he wasn't in the trenches anymore. You know, he wasn't. No, no, no, no, no. You know what the trenches are? I've heard of them. Yeah. Now I grew up in a suburb. We wish we were in trenches.

Starting point is 00:02:54 Really? We always thought we were in a gang, but like nobody would check us. Like that's how you know in your suburban, like you could just say you're in a gang, everybody. All right. Like nobody was like, which one? People would just be like,

Starting point is 00:03:03 oh me too, man. At the time you guys meet, we had a meeting time for a gang, everybody, all right. Like nobody was like, which one? People would just be like, oh me too, man. At the time you guys meet. We had a meeting time for our gangs. After math on Tuesday. Yeah, like if your mom picks you up from the gang, it's not really. Exactly, right? Right, and then she offers a ride to everybody else.

Starting point is 00:03:17 Do you need a ride home, Riley? Oh, your mother's coming to she's a sweetheart. Like, fucking mom, stop. Dude, mom, stop. We call him fucking Gunner. You know, she's not even using people's code names. Right, right, right. Yeah, and then when your mom walks away, you look back,

Starting point is 00:03:30 I fucking bitch. Yeah, dude. I used to cuss him on my mom. I'm not mad. Did you ever cuss at parents? I used to cuss him all the time. No, I think we would spray paint up send ities and stuff on my mom's car.

Starting point is 00:03:41 I remember. They tell it all the people. We big words, huh? Like big words are just like kind of small No, just things like queer or whatever like things that didn't even really relate to her. It was just Would people honk be like I'm with you Some people I think showed up there at night like thinking it was like a club or whatever like you some of you go out in the Militia like thinking it was like a club or whatever, like you sometimes you go out in the middle and I'd be like, what gay dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, you are knocking on the windows be like, where do I vent mo, where do I vent?

Starting point is 00:04:08 Yeah, we had a spray paint that was like mentford just like, like art, but I washed off. So you could spray paint somebody's car and then they'd lose their mind, but then they'd rub out off. Oh, that's sick. It was fun, yeah. Yeah, they had this thing bust, people would put a,

Starting point is 00:04:20 they put like a slice meat or something on somebody's car at night. Oh, it's like, oh, baloney. Baloney would take, paint off a car. Yes. They were like, a Honda Civic rolling around with just small parts on it. It looked like somebody had done cupping on the back of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:34 Oh, the hood. Damn, that's sitting's really working on itself. It's trying to find its inner core, you know? Yeah, definitely. Got a shocker's right. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, God about that. Oh, yeah. And somebody, if you really hated somebody, you put three or four slices on them. That was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like,

Starting point is 00:04:45 it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like,

Starting point is 00:04:54 it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like,

Starting point is 00:05:02 it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it's grass a different color, you could throw like Cheerio's in it. Or do you ever do forking where you put up plastic forks in somebody's lawn, you snap the handle. That was the most fucked up, cause it's a break lawn mower. Oh really? You can break it and then at the top,

Starting point is 00:05:12 you break the handle so you can't really get them out. We were just bored and didn't have drugs. Yeah, it sounds like a very low risk gang. Yeah. Yeah. Did y'all have a name or anything to the gang or not? I remember the initials were TFE. I don't remember what it stands for.

Starting point is 00:05:30 The fucking English or something. I don't really know what it was. There's definitely a fucking in there. You like... Yeah. When I found out the F word, the first time I said it to my dad I called him a fuckhead. I didn't know...

Starting point is 00:05:40 I knew the power of fuck, but I didn't know how to use it. Oh yeah. So my dad said something and I was walking away from the table on my way out. I was like, whatever you fuck head. I just heard the belt coming off. Oh, yeah. Do you just hear the the fondling with it? Yeah. And I was like, oh boy. Then you run to your room. It's like he knows where you're at. But that's a dead, that's a worse thing. Like you only had one place to go. And you're cornered. Yeah. Yeah. You get your ass beat. Papa no! But it's hot.

Starting point is 00:06:08 Papa no dude. It sounds like a very... We got armless real quick. What century was it? The early 90s. I was gonna say early 90s. Papa no sound kind of. I just try to make a connection so we wouldn't hurt me.

Starting point is 00:06:24 Oh yeah. Father. Yeah, father. Tis I. You're loving son. If I made a connection, maybe it wouldn't hit me as hard. Yeah, father, it's not meant to be father. It's me. You're dementia's kicking in. It's your good old pal, Triff.

Starting point is 00:06:37 Do you want to be in the gang? Yeah, I remember one time my mom broke a paddle over my ass and I started laughing. She really, she was here. It's really a beauty. They were dolls, thank you. Yeah. Oh, I was. She really, she was pretty much really abused. They were dull, it's thank you. Yeah, I love how it's thank you. It was a classic white family.

Starting point is 00:06:49 But like they would do that and then they'd be like, I'm only doing this because I love you. And they'd be like, get me. Fucking hit me, talk some shit, you know? Don't throw some salilie queens and say, hi, cool, pal. Yeah, it is, I guess, I think the thing about running to the room, it is such the,

Starting point is 00:07:05 because as a parent, you have to be like, how dumb is this kid? They ran to the only place. And it's the same thing you did as a kid. You're like, how have we not learned as a kid? I was like, that was like our safety. It's like, I'm in my room, you can't get in here. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:19 It was like, watch me. We now have me locks on the doors. You did? I had a jerk off just with a safety off every night just with God was your lock Yeah Just hold and what I in the light used to crack through the door. So I'd be like oh, I'm going to bed I'm gonna touch myself So I go to bed and then I put a towel most people do it to hide like smoke from weed

Starting point is 00:07:37 But I wasn't cool so I put the towel under the door crack so the light wouldn't shine through So I'm just smoking that freaking rub maybe smoking that cock car, you know. Just in case you were freaking, yeah. In case you just did it so well, you just started native and out. Yeah, exactly. They knew what was going on. They knew what was going on. Did you ever lay it on your back

Starting point is 00:07:56 and put your legs in the air while you jerked off? That's like, what the fuck is that you could do? I'm never, I would never do that. It sounds like you might have done that. I haven't done that. You want to? No, I don't want to do that. That's great. Wait, see your sand. This guy's teased.

Starting point is 00:08:12 Well, when would you ever need to be in that position? You're laying on your back and your feet are in the air? I don't know. I just remember. I just remember. I was gonna ask a pee right there. Yeah, I just remember seeing this very alarming, like drawing or something on a website. It could be on a website or even like this side of like a dumpster, which was like an early website.

Starting point is 00:08:30 Oh yeah. Like before they had websites, people would like write message for help on a dumpster, you know. Of course, that is true. You know, like my son's gay. He's like on a dumpster. He's like cycling or yard waste. Neither, it's for my son.

Starting point is 00:08:44 Can you pick what position you get to call an auspian? I'm sir, you're like cycling or yard waste. Neither it's for my son. Can you pick what position you get to call an auspian? Oh, well I've wondered a little bit. I mean, you know, and I've long thought that a lot of misbehaving children or kids that are really bad were born doggy style. I've heard that. I feel like that was the most like wholesome missionary? Probably just jerk off into your hand and give it to her.

Starting point is 00:09:07 Like however you want to insert this into you. Oh, that's very, that's like a Valentine's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good old school Valentine's for people who watch thousands of miles to get it there. The seed, right? Yeah, here you go. Postmates? Postmates for Cheryl?

Starting point is 00:09:20 Yeah, not in a hand. If you were to have a kid, what position would you want it to be? What's it called when you conceived? Yes. Well, that was what I thought. I thought years ago, and I've long thought that children conceived in doggy positions are more likely for things like crime.

Starting point is 00:09:38 That dog in them. Yeah, they just, yeah, they just, they labored doodle. Something about it. Yeah, I think if you throw, yeah, I mean, they're kind of kid where why their parents are making love, you fucking, if a frizzy goes past in the semen and they just kind of runs to one side of her body.

Starting point is 00:09:55 That's that dough baby. That's the dough right there. You think, what do you think of the type of kid would be if the girls on top, and then that's how it's conceived? You think the kid, you're like, call maybe a little like last power? Good posture. I definitely think good posture.

Starting point is 00:10:07 Start, I don't like people who get posture. It feels like they know something that we don't. Well, it feels like they're working for somebody. Yeah. It feels like somebody who's trying really hard to blend in and be a human. Yes. And like if you ask someone his name was,

Starting point is 00:10:19 he would know it. He would say it like too quick. Yeah, Rick. Rick. Yeah. I'm Rick. It have a question mark. Yeah, I. Rick. Yeah. I'm Rick. It have a question mark. Yeah, I'm Rick.

Starting point is 00:10:26 Robert. Yeah. And it's just like this. I don't know, it just feels weird. I'm Rick. Like they start like the, it starts glitching after Earth. Like you didn't get the update or whatever. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:38 Like he's probably like trying to read a bullet alphabet soup. Like he could really quickly if you wanted to. Yeah, yeah. Just start yelling all over. I'm Rick. I'm that. I'm Rick. I'm Rick. I'm Rick. And then he's like starts, like if you don't get the update,

Starting point is 00:10:51 the guy gets gay or something. Like I'm Rick. You know, I was just the update cost. And the update cost like $59.99. Yeah. You could also like hack updates. But then if your son, like your good postured son, is now a gay son, or he's like, son, is now a gay center, he's like,

Starting point is 00:11:06 oh, you can't afford to make your son straight, you won't get the update. I think we more expensive to make your son gay. Oh, that's true. I think it's an upgrade to be gay. Yeah, that's true. You get better style. You always have energy.

Starting point is 00:11:15 You've never seen a gay dude, Dion. Yeah, uh-uh. Just always on. Dude, I've never seen a gay dude, Dion. They're just too pumped. They just got life. They also, I just, I think you need a couple of gays in your corner, because they they just got life. They also, I think you need a couple of Gados in your corner, because they're just opinionated.

Starting point is 00:11:27 They will give it to you straight. Like, like, bro, like just, like, every dude at bar stool, like you could ask my question, they'll be like, yeah, bet for sure, aha. But you can bet, oh, you just get off it, but yeah, for sure. But like a Gado will be like, good outfit for what, dumpster diving.

Starting point is 00:11:39 And you're like, right, that right there, I need that in my life. Right, they'll put you in check. Right, yeah, like fighting your stepdad, yeah. Yeah. Did you ever run away from your parents when you were a kid? Oh, dude, I remember. I ran away.

Starting point is 00:11:55 Yeah, I ran away. And what would you pack? Would you pack anything or would you use a raw dog life? I remember the second I was born, I remember being across the room. Like, if you got got shot put it out. I ran away. Yeah go steal.

Starting point is 00:12:07 But the cord is still on. Oh dude I think I remember tying the cord like the nurses foot just to like keep people off. Oh like you're surfing. Like notice can take infuse of you know. Oh really? Because that thing's a fucking house arrest. I wonder how many babies think that's so dumb.

Starting point is 00:12:20 Are they like damn I'm packing. Out of the gate. Yeah. And the doctor was like, ah, now we gotta cut that one. And then we gotta cut the other one. Yeah, I don't know. I do remember, I remember trying to run away, man. I remember going to the post office

Starting point is 00:12:33 because I thought somebody could nail me somewhere. You were a light baby? In our town, no, I think when I was like, probably a 10 or something like that, a 10 or a 7. Okay, just rode my bike over there and I remember thinking that somebody could nail me somewhere, maybe not 10, maybe 11. Like that, like seven. Okay. Just rode my bike over there, and I remember thinking that somebody could mail me

Starting point is 00:12:45 somewhere, maybe not 10, maybe 11. With the bike or no. I don't know, I just remember finally getting to the post office. It wasn't that far, but it was like maybe about five miles and I got there and I was like, the first person that I saw that looked nice or like concerned or whatever. Somebody combed their hair.

Starting point is 00:12:59 I was like, I gotta get out of town. Where did you wanna go? Anywhere. Yeah, that's funny. Just go to the post office, send me anywhere. Yeah. My dad had a friend who robbed a bank on a bike when he was 14. Oh, yeah, which is hilarious.

Starting point is 00:13:12 That's the same mentality of running to your room when your parents about to hit you. You're like, where are you running to on a bike? Skatepark, I don't like Kmart, you're really anywhere. Yeah. What do you got caught? He did? Yeah, they just put a stick in his spokes and pfft.

Starting point is 00:13:24 Oh, I don't know how they caught him, but yeah, dude has a 14 year old on a bike. Like you're gonna get caught. Oh, yeah, they had two, they had two brothers in our town. They were, they were twins or if they were, uh, they weren't twins, they were brothers. And, uh, they did a drive-by shooting on a bike in our town. Bare, bare. One of them named bare, bare, and I don't know what the other one named was. Was it a tandem by the school, or they were just riding nice to each other?

Starting point is 00:13:50 A tandem drive-by would be hilarious. Moody or something, maybe bare, bare and moody, but they were brothers and one of them was on the handlebars, and he did the shooting. And he did the handlebars? Yeah, he's just honestly kind of cute. I think it would be so hard because like, the blowback.

Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah, and you're kind of already balancing yourself up daily, that'd be kind of tight. Oh, they'd be sick. How do we see that in the South, where do you lose all just on a dirt bike or like a landed type shit? There's just wheelies on just like on dirt bike through town. That makes me feel good.

Starting point is 00:14:20 I like seeing that. Well, that's the new like the calvary's coming when you see a batch of like, because you'll see something, and that is one of the most, there must be something about those bike riding because that is the most diversifying thing. People, all ethnicities come together to do those things. The wheelies? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:38 That is true. I was just an Indianapolis over the weekend. There was a whole bunch of that. It's just a red light and somebody pulls up and I'm like, yeah, it's loud as hell for no reason. That was the worst, dude. Yeah, I was out there at a Gary Veecon. Have you ever met Gary? You went to Veecon.

Starting point is 00:14:51 Yeah, I went there to go film a video. It's bizarre. How what? Yeah, I talked to Gary. Oh, sure, I was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talked with Gary about it online, but it's starting, once he, it was named Veecon.

Starting point is 00:15:00 To me, that was a, it seemed a little, it made me kind of wonder what's going on. What am I getting involved? It was, it's exactly picture of V-con right now. That's it. Whatever you're thinking about, what are you thinking about? Yeah, like people bothering people about money. Yeah, it was a lot of like bright colors and people who may have not seen a tit in a while. Oh yeah, I took it.

Starting point is 00:15:19 I didn't even talk to them. I mean, the Gary's a very nice guy, and he like fires these people to fuck up. I'd the funniest thing he said, while. Oh yeah, I took it, I didn't even talk to him. I mean, look, Gary's a very nice guy and he fires these people to fuck up. At the funniest thing he said, we watched his speech on the last night and we walked in at a random part and I walked in on him going,

Starting point is 00:15:32 fuck your grandparents. And I'm like, that's the energy I need in life. They are past RIP, love you both, but like, fuck them. That's just where he's at in life. Yeah, he and I, I, oh, I mean, I totally respect. I respect him too. I respect his acumen, you know? I think, but he also like, but he tells people crazy shit.

Starting point is 00:15:53 He'll be like, you know, oh, you got a, like there's videos of him, like meeting a guy in a park and the guy's like, I sold all of our silverware. I sold my baby high chairs, I sold everything I could make. I made $720. It carries like, he like hugs and he's like, that's great.

Starting point is 00:16:12 It guys like, yeah, we're not staying, we're living in this park, we're cutting down all costs. And then it pans out in him and his family, and it's living in a fucking park, right? And it carries like, you're doing one to fix it over. And it goes, that's for me to you. You gotta start from the bottom to be at the top

Starting point is 00:16:27 and you were too humble. He talks like just like a crazy person in front of a 7-11, but he's so convincing at it. Like if you walk past a guy that's having a love me like, fuck your grandparents, you'd be like, sure. Right, I get that. I forgot, yeah. But then you get one of those tiny headsets,

Starting point is 00:16:42 like the little like Ted Talk ones, and I'm like, yeah, you know what, fuck them. Yeah, I agree. He makes a lot of good points, but it's just good stuff. Well, I think it's you, all there's always people that are giving like guidance and inspiring people. Inspiring is nice because I think it's hard to get inspired.

Starting point is 00:16:58 And so if GaryVee inspires you or whoever you find and inspires you, you know, that's great. No, he's very good at it He could say anything and you put like enough of an emphasis or like an exclamation point every couple words in your end Yeah, the guys like are you are you still using silverware? He'll ask me when you still use silverware like I was a game is like you can sell you can sell those You could easily sell this everywhere and be up 25 28 dollars. Yeah exactly. You know Yeah, you have to put food in your mouth with your hand.

Starting point is 00:17:26 Yeah, you ever see the videos of him going to garage sales? They're the funniest thing that happens. Dude, I mean, he's almost, he has like 150 million to his name, but he'll go to a garage sale and be like, how much for this fight his tree? And they're like, oh, $7 and he goes, I'll give you four. And they're like, oh, well, I mean, okay, we really need it.

Starting point is 00:17:43 We just need to live or transplant by Tuesday, right? They'll do that. And then he'll walk away and I're like, oh, well, I mean, okay, we really need it. We just need to live or transplant by Tuesday, right? They'll do that. And then they'll walk away and I'm like, fucking God, I'm those astute. It's hilarious. That was, I made a video about this because that's why we got connected. Really?

Starting point is 00:17:55 Yeah, I made a video kind of just talking shit how we literally just low balls, poor families, and like, Des Moines. Yeah. Like, he like, hard balls. Like, he'll walk up and then like, Hunter bucks for this. And I'm'm like let me play hard to get Goes his car rips some K walks back and he's like we'll do 68

Starting point is 00:18:10 Carry please our son is our son has one two He's been eating applesauce at a two for eight years and he's like I'll give you three It's it's it's electric. I love your son. Yeah, I love that time energy though good But he also he was born like with wine. He was like from a wine fortune. Yeah, I don't know. So that's the only thing that like, I'm not knocking it, but it's like,

Starting point is 00:18:32 is it always just been, he's always had money. Like, is it really, I don't know. Is it really, if you don't have any money? I forget the backstory, but I think there was something where like he like started the family business something with the wine. I don't really know what happened, but yeah, I don't know. Dude, he was convincing his fuck. And it's like, you want to laugh, but then you leave there a little far up.

Starting point is 00:18:52 You ever been to a black church? Oh, yeah. Those get you fired up. There's so much better than regular church. They got a drum set. Yeah. I'm Jewish, but I went to regular church a few times, and I was like, but after going to a black church, and then going I was like, but after you go into a black church

Starting point is 00:19:05 and then you go, that was like, this shit is boring. Oh dude, black church is definitely, yeah, you feel the Lord. Oh, you feel the Lord and somebody will splash fucking hot grease on your back, or the middle of it, like you don't even know what's going on. Like you don't know if somebody just like ripped open like a lunch plate real fast, or if somebody's like whipped or hair.

Starting point is 00:19:24 Like you'll see a black lady, she'll have a fucking plant. She'll be watering a plant during the fucking sermon. Do people are dressed up? Are you a great person? Oh, everybody smells good. Yeah. The Lord will pass through the room.

Starting point is 00:19:36 Dude, at one point, like I wanted to give more, I already donated, but I'll send that bitch back. I want to donate more. Oh yeah. What's the bowl, whatever, I don't know. But this shit, it was like three hours and I mean, man, it had an arc. Start out slow, you feel the closing bit,

Starting point is 00:19:52 then it was a grand finale, and I just wanna throw my wall in the damn air and be like, I'm converted. And then you start up there. Oh, I'll throw my fuck. I'm gonna throw my fuck in. Yeah, yeah. I'll throw my fucking dick in the air

Starting point is 00:20:02 and catch it in my mouth, dude. You know what I'm saying if it calls for it? But I'm like, God calls for that. But yeah, I've been in them. Well, the first funeral I ever went to, man, was a black guy. And it was in. How did you die?

Starting point is 00:20:18 He died. He was the biggest guy in our town. His name was Ricardo. Buffer just kind of large. He was buff. He was the biggest guy in our town. His name was Ricardo. Buffer just kind of large. He was buff. He was like a man child. It was like as if you saw like a nine year old child, but he was like, I mean, he's probably six, four. Down.

Starting point is 00:20:36 And I bet he weighs nine. He weighed two. No, he looked like a nine year old guy. He was probably, I guess we were in 11 or 12. Maybe he was six, was six two six four. I don't know how he might have been six four. He was the biggest he was the biggest kid in our town He was aw you never seen nothing like it. They didn't have it You know when you saw it just been the mayor. Oh, he will I mean he definitely he could fucking keep the son off of you He was fucking big. I'm'm fuck shit up in dodgeball. Oh dude, he was just, he could do it every one. The birds knew him.

Starting point is 00:21:09 The birds knew him. I mean, you see a bird come fuck that he knew it. He was fucking big dude. He was big. So howdy, Pat. He was playing basketball. It was like a little league basketball game. And I think, boy, little league, 11 and 12 year olds.

Starting point is 00:21:23 And he had a heart attack. Really? Was he was he on Addy or is he on the roads? He wasn't on anything. He was just on just to my I think he had did his heart. They said he had in a large heart. I don't know what that means. What does that mean? Is that what that is? Just the heart of a grown man and a young boy's body. It could have been it. I wish I had a grown man's penis when I was 12. Do you? Kind of. Oh, you don't want that man. Just cause I had that.

Starting point is 00:21:45 You had that or you have it? I had it as a child. And it was like. And it was like, I can as a child? Yeah, do you know that? I was born with an adult, uh, adult dong.

Starting point is 00:21:54 General, yeah. Just damn. Ball and penis are just ball or just penis. I think it's the whole thing. Wow. So when did you know that? Like when did you look down when they're like, oh, I'm packing more than the average?

Starting point is 00:22:05 Oh, I remember seeing other, I remember seeing some other kids, like weeners and not even noticing, and then my weener, I felt like looked like Florida. And I was like, oh, damn. Like people are gonna show up on my weener, like in the summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:20 You're like, the Alabama in there too, darling, we're packing. And I just remember like just being so uncomfortable, yeah, and I remember sleeping at night and feeling it under my body. Really? And it was just a nightmare. Do you have to like, talking in and shit, too? Yeah, I was embarrassing. Embarrassing?

Starting point is 00:22:35 Yeah, because you weren't just saying, you were just abnormal, no kid, no five year olds, like, yeah, who's got a big dick, you know? And if they asked that, they're definitely not five. It's a 48 yearold man on the internet Who was big dick also other five-year-old's entered? So did you grow into it or you just steady packing? No, I just grew into it. Oh wow, but yeah, I have some more abnormality

Starting point is 00:22:55 But let's look at that in large hot. It's one and know what it's called in a large heart and child I've lost two friends actually to basketball playing hard with a really hard. And in large heart, cardio, megaly, what is it, Zach? Well, it says it's usually caused by another condition, like it's a side effect, but it can be caused by damage to the heart muscle or any condition that makes the heart pump harder than usual. And then- Hearts just be gone, that's crazy.

Starting point is 00:23:18 Every day he working. If he's never taking labor day off. It may also be a sign of a prior heart attack. Is that one of the family? I think so. Heart attacks you? Isn't that crazy when something runs in the family? You're just like, you just have to like take

Starting point is 00:23:31 that with the grandest thought, but oh, all right, breast cancer runs in the walls. Gene's cool. Yeah. Hope my tits don't, can men get breast cancer? Don't clip this. I don't know how fucking the human body works. What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:23:42 What do you mean? Like can men get breast cancer? Who do you mean? Like, can men get breast cancer? Or do you got, you can? Yes. Okay. Do they call some chest cancer? I've got something. I don't know what it is.

Starting point is 00:23:52 You ever felt something there? Sometimes when I drink too much, I feel like I have it. I'm like, I don't know where my liver is, but I feel it be next to today. Oh yeah, if your liver's beating, then yeah, you probably need to take it in. Sometimes I just get pain in the middle of my chest, and then I remember a girl's day at her time, she's like, oh, it's hard burn.

Starting point is 00:24:10 I was like, is it? It's been three days. I think it's just like, it could just be your bitch signal. I don't say it like you could. We could just be a little bitch signal. I'd be bitch signal. I'd be bitch signal, right? You got pain right there? Sometimes, dude, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:26 What happens when you wake up? Is your body just good to go or you just got pain? No, I think these days, I fucking wanna vape or. Are you off the vape still? Go down on a stranger. That's a woman. And what order? Either one, I think, just,

Starting point is 00:24:41 you want something to kind of get you going. One of the first poems I ever saw was a girl smoking a cigar out of her pussy. Oh my god, really? Yeah, and it was like, and what was it for? It was like an avatat was it a, might have been from Marble, but I remember I was just so young. I was just like, I was turned on for both reasons because I wasn't old enough to smoke, but I also wasn't old enough to stroke.

Starting point is 00:24:59 Come on now. Oh yeah. So I saw the cigar and the vagina and I was like, those are both so cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was wild. Oh wow, yeah. Cause I feel like there was always some kid who like, like you knew, he would show you porn,

Starting point is 00:25:11 but then the like his older brother would be like, yeah, but you wanna see that pussy smoke a hookah? Like he had the next level. Yeah, yeah, that next level. Okay. You wanna see this labia throw a grenade? Like damn, okay. This labia is an hot tub making lasagna.

Starting point is 00:25:26 He's like, oh, you wanna see this ovella? Eat a half a bag of skittles, you're like damn. Yeah, I don't, but like, I feel like one dude always had the porn, but like, somebody close to him had next level porn. Yeah, you wanna see this, you re-thread to a Zen. You're like, right, all right. Yeah, all right, like The six million grams over shit.

Starting point is 00:25:45 You know, I was in a car accident, um, probably about four years ago. Some lady did a U-turn and she didn't know how to do it. And she just, she U-turned right into me. It was more of a J. And I was at the end of the J. And I got just jacked up. That's what happened. If you're ever injured in a car accident or injured at all and in some type of accident, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers. With over $15 billion recovered for clients, Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting till you get your full and fair compensation. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy, it's more like using an app than hiring a lawyer.

Starting point is 00:26:40 With Morgan and Morgan, you can submit a claim without ever having to leave the couch. You might not be able to, heck, if you're hurt, if you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepople.com slash this past weekend or dial pound law, that's pound 529 from your cell phone. That's F-O-R, the people.com slash this past weekend, or pound 529 from your cell phone. This is a paid advertisement. Blue Choo, you know it. You know when Daddy wants it, he takes them blue,

Starting point is 00:27:25 Cheesy, like them little wiener peels. You know that, boy. They deliver the same active ingredients as Viagra and Psyallus, but in chewable form at a fraction of the cost. Blue Choo's tablets combat all forms of VD. So they can help. They can help men gain extra confidence for when it's time to perform.

Starting point is 00:27:49 La da da da da da da da, wena. Don't like swallowing pills and no problem. These are chew abble. That's right, and guys, here's a special deal for you. Try Blue Choo free. When you use our promo code Theo at checkout, just pay $5 shipping that's blue chew BLUE CHW.com. promo code Theo to receive your first month free.

Starting point is 00:28:16 Yeah, I feel like for whatever, like that was like drug dealing back then. It was like, yeah, somebody always had like, oh, you know, when everybody weed, they're like, oh, this is the like, yeah. Somebody always had like, oh, you know, when everybody weed, they're like, oh, this is the best in town. Somebody always be like, yo, this is the best porn you can find.

Starting point is 00:28:29 There's some random website. Really? You could go to whitehouse.com and it was porn, because the whitehouse was like, dot gov is like the official one, but like, oh, we got a head nod. See, yeah, producer's always know that porn life. Yeah, I was like the oldest church in the book

Starting point is 00:28:44 and like, it doesn't want to be. But that was so cool because life. Yeah, I was like the oldest church in the book and like, 2001. But that was so cool because my parents just thought I was doing homework every night. Exactly. They're like, oh, this motherfucker just loves George Bush. Now, I love being off to Bush. What are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:28:54 Because you could just go to whitehouse.com and your parents wouldn't associate it to. Wow, see, when I was a child, they didn't have internet. So we had to, you had to fucking get somebody who knew something about some coot or you had to fucking have somebody tell you or somebody to describe it. Yeah, or like you'd lay in the dark at night and one guy his job was to kind of try and make the sounds

Starting point is 00:29:17 of like a vagina so that other people could enjoy it, you know. Yeah, yeah. Like if we're doing a sleepover, you know? Yeah, of course. Or like when your boy's bare as you at the beach and then he put sand tits know? Yeah, yeah. Well, like, if you're doing a sleepover, you know? Yeah, of course. Or like, when your boy's bare as you at the beach and then he puts sand tits on you. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:28 You can do that. And then you put the two C-shows over it. So it's like, scannily clad. Yeah. And then you have a little sand, like some of the sand is called, starts to like elevate above your weiner. Like, damn, brother.

Starting point is 00:29:41 But if you can move earth with your weiner, like, that's what that's meant to do. My god, I bet some dad looking like it's my boy. I should take tonic plates though Like is that the earth is doing there just getting bricked up like when there's earthquakes that the Lord's fucking bricked Yeah, or just creating a vagina or something bumping and grinding. It's gotta be huh? So you didn't have internet. I feel like my early on porn days was like girls gone wild like like what like Do you remember those commercials where the girls would have the stars over their nipples? I don't know what it was.

Starting point is 00:30:07 Like, we had all seen it. Yes. It was like, what would be, like, we just needed to know what was behind that star. Like, we knew what it looked like, but I'm like, I need to know what those look like. And whatever happened to that guy who created that site, Joe, which is named?

Starting point is 00:30:19 I think he's in jail. Yeah, I heard that. I think he actually- That are like probably Tucson or some, yeah. Tucson, which is basically this outdoor jail. Yeah, I heard that. I think he actually that are like probably Tucson or some. Yeah, Tucson, which is basically this outdoor jail. It's free play jail. Yeah, it's like no bars jail. Yeah, it's like you you can roam, but do you want to just stay at this Chili's all day? Yeah, I used to go to I used to go to school in Tucson, man. Did you? You went to a dirty tea. I went to Santa Rita High School, School man for one semester and

Starting point is 00:30:45 people are always fist fighting the car wash dog after school. You boxed dog, you boxed. That is a we did body blows at our school body blows no face shots. Oh really? Yeah so you could just punch each other in the torso bunch but no face. Oh it sounds like a really tough gang. That's where we found the leader of our gang. But one time I ducked down a body blows got hit in the face and that was on me. You took a body blower in the face? Yeah, yeah. That was on me, though. Sideducks, that was a bitch. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:08 Dude, I'm not tough at all. Like, I don't. A bitch in a really fucking... If you're a bitch, dude, it'll ruin it. It can really... It won't ruin it can make things... I think I... It'll be interesting.

Starting point is 00:31:17 Oh, dude, people knew I was a bitch. That was where I actually... Yeah, cuz I'd wear like, heeles with no heels. You know, they'd be like, what are you wearing those dumb ass shoes for? You can't even heal. So the wheel on the back, but no wheel in it? Yeah, no wheel is just an empty area. Like I was just like,

Starting point is 00:31:28 like anytime somebody's like, you wanna go body blows, I'll be like, no, please no, you wanna do this? We do tech decks together? Yeah, if you say please, that's bad dude. Dude, I remember one time I accidentally, I went to hit a guy in the shoulder and he darkened and I hit his nose and he had a bloody nose and then he kept fucking me all day in science and then he's like this

Starting point is 00:31:49 Saturday we're gonna fight I'm bringing my brother meet me there and I didn't show up because obviously I don't have an older brother I had older sister with a fat rack so I'm like what the fuck am I supposed to do and then on Monday he's like yo you didn't show't show up. I'm like, yeah. Does this, let me just pencil in this ass meeting real quick. Did you, did you find a lot going up? Well, one thing at a time, one thing at a time. Oh, sorry, what are we talking about? Trevor Wallace is here. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:15 Thank you, man. You have so much time. You do, thanks for having me. Yeah, so it's fun. It's fun to see you, bro. You're still crushing it on socials. I don't see how you keep doing it. I don't know, man. But you keep doing it. I'm trying to it's amazing. Um, I want to get

Starting point is 00:32:29 I want to find out about this Joe guy and then we can eat wool. I want to oh the guy from Yeah, good. Happy new. Yeah, girls gone wild. That's right. Yeah, I check out long story short He filed for bankruptcy moved to Mexico and their allegations and some of those girls were underage So he's kind of just floating It seems like wow he looks like dad and he's married a woman Abby Wilson. I think they're estranged according to this article because there was a big ex-whose young girls go wild last year, I believe. So since then there's some an extra heat on it. What does it strange mean? They don't like each other anymore.

Starting point is 00:33:01 Oh, yeah, separated from each other., because you have remembered that was the, and that was like where kind of they had like the girl, it was almost like where kind of bang bus started. A little bit when they have girls in the van or something sometimes, and like show your tits and be like, I don't want to, but I will in a minute, right? And then they show me they put the stars over from the commercial.

Starting point is 00:33:19 Yeah, that was like, cause now TikTok is kind of that, but without the tits, they just brought them to a hot girl and be like, what's your body count? It's like, because now TikTok is, it's kind of that, but without the tits, they just brought it to a hot girl and be like, what's your body count? It's like, well, fuck all that. Put the stars on the tits. How do you pitch that idea? You gotta be coked out of this hell

Starting point is 00:33:32 to go to your boy and be like, you still got that camcorder? I know, I bet they were. I bet they were. I'm partyin', dude. I've ran into girls who got on, who were on girls going wild over the years. Like, yeah, I was on girls going wild a while back, you know. Just smoking out of their neck holes.

Starting point is 00:33:48 Oh yeah. You're like yeah, somebody fucked this hole in my neck. I'd be give a long problem, like no, somebody just did sex right in my neck. I just need a more holes, more ventilation. Put the drop top in the throat. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get the word right here. Would you put that in there

Starting point is 00:34:05 if you could just close it without anybody noticing? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, might as well. I think the human body should be upgraded. I'm like, I got a piece so much. I'm like, how can I get more storage on my phone but not a bigger bladder? Oh, definitely.

Starting point is 00:34:19 I need at least half a terabyte in one of my legs for this piss. I also think my brain is that capacity. Oh, God. Yeah. Because you got to kick out memories from like fourth grade, just to learn how to parallel park it at some point. But that's vital memories in fourth grade.

Starting point is 00:34:36 You found out like National Geographic had tits in it? Oh, dude, when we saw him long, they had a set of long darts in one of those National Ge geographic episode, because it was the first time you saw black tit in the area. Just the tit in general. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of, like, first of all, the porn, when I first saw it, it was very, it was like people, like it was people that had the same kind of haircut, kind of having

Starting point is 00:35:04 sex from far away, and there was a lot of music in the background. You couldn't even really hear the people. So there was a lot of like, bada bada bada bada. And there's so much more, you don't even know if that music was from you or the TV. Bada bada bada.

Starting point is 00:35:16 It was just, but there's a comment from. They did more with the soundtrack back then. Like they cared more about the music and the ambiance and went with it. They set the tone. Then like hearing what the people were saying. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:28 And then it evolved. So you get some of that, but you had, you didn't have your phones, you couldn't just play porn wherever. So if you went outside or left the television or whatever, you were, there was no porn. Yeah. At that point, you had to see somebody that could do some art

Starting point is 00:35:44 or you'd have to, you know, we've talked about it before, but somebody had chiseled a set of tits into a, like a birch that had been hit by light and just like half of a tree by us. Oh, that's great. And so people would go out there and just cream out today. And would you like try to like hide the tree like you were to clear your browser history? Like would you try to like, like, un-d undiscover it like that way nobody else could see it? Maybe somebody had like leaned a branch. Yeah, just hide it from you know, because you don't want to like you want to get Keep a little bit. Yeah, I think my porn. Yeah, this is mine, but you get back there in you

Starting point is 00:36:17 You could tell other people had been back there. There'd be a cigarette or half a can of a Bainy Wayne. Oh, yeah, somebody chiseled. I came here, 1993. Somebody just, like a heart, it was just like Rick, but it would be like Rick plus, but also just Rick. Rick plus Rick. Rick plus Rick dick. Damn, that's great.

Starting point is 00:36:40 I feel like when you were younger, you didn't look for porn porn just found you. Like you wouldn't be looking for, like you just open up a book and you're like, oh damn, I got tits on page 48. It blew your, I mean, you would get porn wherever you could. Like it incinence. Sex ed was such a, like people would dress up.

Starting point is 00:36:55 I mean, I were, you know, people would wear, their Sunday best people were cologne to sex. You know, it'd be like, you guys knew when it was? Well, yeah, you knew the year that it was. And you were like, God, or we didn't ready. And I remember people outside of the fucking classroom, like slapping each other in the cheeks. You know, it's one guy putting ice on another guy's,

Starting point is 00:37:12 like, neck and back. Yeah, yeah. You know, it was crazy. He wasn't that guy when he learned tomorrow, so, like, oh, fuck. Yeah, like Mike Brown was his coach. He was like, he was, like, he had a corner man. Really?

Starting point is 00:37:23 You know, we didn't get in there. We didn't get no, like, like, lead up to it. It was just like, all right, class, get your dicks out. It's sex that day. Like, there was no build up. Like, we just learned, like, we had no idea. Wow. So they just sprung it on us.

Starting point is 00:37:36 And then we'd have to play it cool, you know? Do you remember the first time that you were attractive to a woman? Or are you always the kid that was like kind of got the girls some. No, I never really got a lot of women. I do remember the first time, like the first girl that came back with a rack after summer,

Starting point is 00:37:56 that was like, that was big. That was like when they build a new like Tesla Charger station in town, you're like, everybody knew about it. This girl, Jamie, she showed up in sixth grade and she was racked out in like, it was a talk. The teacher was like trying to talk about like, long division, we're like, fuck all this. Have you seen the C cups?

Starting point is 00:38:12 Fuck all this, even the teacher was like, goddamn. Yeah, have you seen the square roots? We're then fucking, that was fucking lung nuggets. D squared, yeah. Yeah, how much can, how big can tits be on a, and I don't wanna to say on a child? Because we've said this kind of stuff before and but this is what we're looking up. Do you understand what I'm saying? All right. See, this is the problem. Go in, Cognito. Yeah, that's what you have to do.

Starting point is 00:38:38 Is is before you type of say for a podcast and then colon and then do it. Yeah, this is your internet. Yeah, or just because I'm not curious. I'll never look anywhere. You can open the browser just Chris hands it with two blocks. You interviewed him, yeah? Yeah. Okay. The guy said, yeah, the guy stopped hundreds of PDF files, man. Yeah, there was an episode where his friend walked in.

Starting point is 00:38:59 Uh-uh. Yeah, he's like, oh, fuck, is that someone so? I just gotta be tough. Yeah. What happens, Zach? Yeah, I don't have details on this question yet. What do you get if you put that in? Uh, Texans Children's Hospital breast development questions. Okay.

Starting point is 00:39:25 Well, this is kind of like what you said, if you go back on one page. Oh, here's a good question. Why are my breast big? First of all, it should be plural at a young age. But that's kind of what you had, but with a, with a winner. That's true. So, that's a good point actually.

Starting point is 00:39:39 So imagine going to bed one night and you can't lay all the way down because you suddenly have tits. That's gotta be crazy for a girl can't you can't get massages you can't do anything. You're just up You're always planking. Oh, yeah Well life is a plank. I don't know dude. I was a late bloomer I wanted a were you really yeah? I remember in PE everybody have like deodorant and like armpit hair So I had this like giant stuffed animal in my room.

Starting point is 00:40:06 Probably made love to it, definitely made love to it. And I used to cut the hair off it and put it in my armpits because I want to armpit hair that bad. Just see what it looked like. Oh yeah. Yeah, and the color was it. Blue's black. So it didn't match any of my ginger tones at all,

Starting point is 00:40:18 but I put water on my armpit then I put it in there and I'd look in the mirror and be like, dude, this could be me one day. Yeah. And I still do that to this day. I love that, that's amazing. Yeah, well you weren't a late bloomer. If you had implants, arm hair, armpit hair,

Starting point is 00:40:32 if you had armpit hair implants. Oh dude, I'll just put in Rogan on every morning. Is that all spies in Osro game? Dude, I distinctly remember like you said, when you went to PE and somebody had deodorant for the first time that was a kid, it blew your mind, you're like, oh now we have to get deodorant.

Starting point is 00:40:46 Yeah. This is where I learn like, I put it on. Yeah, I use deodorant, like what do you use? You know, when you start, you name like, like, like, like, like, you just get exactly, dish soap or something, you would name it for real quick. Exactly, yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:00 Yeah, I remember just, I wanted to, you're like, Reebok, what do you guys use Reebok? Yeah, what do you roll on? Is that actually, I know, I use just, I wanted to- You're like Reebok, what do you guys use Reebok? Yeah, what do you roll on? Is that Alex? Yeah, no, he's a machete. Every day, I saw somebody doing that. Like, I remember the first day I had armpit sweat, I was excited. I was like, this is puberty.

Starting point is 00:41:14 It's knocking, you know? I remember when I had like a little like, Poo-on mustache. Yeah. I was, I'm not shaving this shit. I'd rather look like I sell used to Keto's. Oh, what was most of that? Yeah, dude. Oh, especially on a guy like, I think, I was I'm not shaving this shit. I'd rather look like I sell used to Keto's Oh, especially on a guy like I think red-headed guys are guys that that lean Auburn or gin yeah lean more red or gangers they call them

Starting point is 00:41:37 they Or you guys are almost adopted into the black come you I feel like you guys are we do get shit on a lot No, no a lot of like, Wiggas, as they say, which is a popular term from the past 150 years. It, you guys are often, they're often gingers or gangers. Yeah, I do feel that. Yeah, my first job, I was the only white guy there. When I first moved to LA, it was like 80 black dudes in me

Starting point is 00:42:03 and it was one of the best jobs in my life. They respect you guys a lot more, I think. Let's pull up Wiggas and see what they've been doing if you don't mind. See where they... Pull their S-Corp, what have they been doing? And selling Whipits? And just click on images and let's see who we get.

Starting point is 00:42:18 Yeah, that's what is... In this way, the girls don't know how much they should be. Is that Hollywood wicker? What is that? Wait a second. Yeah, that sounds like. That's Adam Devine, isn't it? That does look like him.

Starting point is 00:42:35 San Diego does have a high breed of this. Now there you go. I think. Where do you think spawns this person? What city comes in mind when you think of this? I think of Little Rock. Oh yes. Little Rock. some about that.

Starting point is 00:42:46 Yeah, my friend Justin is from Arkansas and he likes to gun down him goblers over there, but he said that there is a lot of wig-esque. So what are these barriers that are also on here? This has nothing to do with the white guy with the orange Camaro. Let's go to this diagram. I guess there's a popular diagram called the Wiggers diagram.

Starting point is 00:43:07 Well, what is that? It's a standard diagram used in cardiac physiologically named after Dr. Carl J. Wiggers. Dude, come on. Carl J? Dude, you gotta go by just Carl J at that point. So people are gonna learn about this in school. I mean, dude, our chart looked way different.

Starting point is 00:43:25 It was a ginger dude, and it crossed section with the UNC basketball jersey. And he had a yo-yo in a vape for some reason. That'd be so fun if you opened up that page. And he drove a Honda Civic, which was the number one car. But he like chipped off the word Civic and put like BMW logos on there. There's nothing better than that.

Starting point is 00:43:44 When somebody thinks like the Chrysler 300 puts like a Bentley logo on it. Those people have come off insane, but I respect it. Oh, I respect that too. It's just like your, because that's all the car is, and I was just an extra emblem, you know? Yeah, 100%.

Starting point is 00:43:55 What was your first car? My first car was a 1984 Ford S-Court and I paid cash for it. Somebody stole the passenger seat. They didn't want you in that carpool in or what? I don't know what the issue was. I just remember picking people up and they had to get in and there was no work for us. You were in the bus. You were the bus driver up front and the people out the walk passed you. They pay you a fair.

Starting point is 00:44:18 All of what? Just one seat in the back. Just one lady. Yeah, I was just get right there. But so I wanna talk more about that. Yeah, whenever you hit pervity, man, that shit was wild. I remember, it feels like you ever put a Mentos in a diaphepsy or diacoch. Yeah, and it starts to bubble up at first. That's what it feels like your body's doing,

Starting point is 00:44:41 starting to bubble up at first. I think I remembered, I'm trying to think I've ever remember getting body hair, maybe a little on my chest, like in the crack of my chest. Yeah, yeah, I gotta feel those. Oh, right here you get that happy trail. And that's, you wanna keep it.

Starting point is 00:44:56 You can't wait to go to the pool and take your shirt off. Yeah, dude, some people even put a little bar head, a lot of the brothers will put a little bar head on it. Little bow tie down there. Yeah, it's just small, nothing crazy. Yeah, exactly. You know, just something chill, something to flex a little. I grew up in kind of like a white and urban area. So you'd have, dude, I remember they had a handicap, dude,

Starting point is 00:45:18 a black dude, and he was, his legs weren't, didn't work, and they had braided his fucking legs around each other. Yeah, you should. Yeah, yeah, you know, that's what I would do. Or I put under glow on them. On my legs. On the bottom so they shine a little.

Starting point is 00:45:35 Personally, yeah, because then it looks like the Lord's carrying me, you know. You're right, I've never seen a wheelchair with under glow, but if your legs had it, wouldn't you be like, oh, he's not walking because he can float? I don't know, man. I saw a car with underglow. But if your legs had it, wouldn't you be like, oh, he's not walking because he can float? I don't know, man. I saw a car with underglow recently drawn from the IE, the Inland Empire,

Starting point is 00:45:51 and it brought me back. Got it, beautiful. Like the spinners era. I think they should have pinned my wheelchair. And that's just me trying to help out. Them spree wells. Yeah, well, you'll see sometimes those a lot of dudes during wheelchairs, they'll do that dolphin

Starting point is 00:46:04 where they kind of pull up and then slip the wheel spin. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, those are those those know what they're doing. But again, yeah, but if I spin my life in a wheelchair, I'd get bored after why I definitely want to. You think? I think so. I definitely want to learn the tricks.

Starting point is 00:46:15 Sometimes I'll pretend like this, like I'll like even if I'm like at a dinner or something or like I'm bitten at a table for awhile and people don't, you know, kind of do this, you know? But it looks like you're about to start a Bob sled. Yeah. Just for fun. Yeah, just to let people know that you could be if you need to.

Starting point is 00:46:32 But yeah, I think I'm trying to remember to what that was like, it's crazy that like, pervading happens to your body and you don't even, you're not like documenting every day. It's like, it's, cause it's unreal. Yeah, it feels like you're just waiting in line and eventually it's like the Lord being like, you better get some pubes, but it's a slow process.

Starting point is 00:46:50 It's not like you walk up to the front door and they stamp your puberty card. It's like a slow little bit of this, little bit of that. The voice cracks, when you're voice cracked in class, I mean, that was one of the worst days of my life. Voice, you late. Oh yeah. When I was at 17, you get gonna ask me to noon for sure.

Starting point is 00:47:06 Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, that man was start to fucking break out of you. It's almost like he could have a Hulk when he breaks through the face, so clothing. It's like when snakes shed a little bit, but it's just the manliness is coming out.

Starting point is 00:47:18 Yeah, you'd be like, can we go get some, I'm trying to fuck, you know, just like, like, whoa, whoa, what happened? And then you try to do that voice again, but you can't do it. You're trying to fuck, you know, just like, like, whoa, whoa, what happened? And then you try to do that voice again, but you can't do it. You're trying to get back to here. Yeah, you couldn't do it. You're trying to get back?

Starting point is 00:47:31 You could never do it. You remember coming to school and one kid had just gone way past puberty, like he was like seven. Dude, he had arthritis, I'm like, you miss like 19 stages. Yeah, a beard. Yeah, you had a beard. And that kid always had a bad beard then.

Starting point is 00:47:44 Dude, there's a guy, his name was Chuck, and he had a full facial hair in ninth grade, and he was dating in eighth grade. And this is a hilarious story, and if you're from my hometown, you know this story. He was dating this chick, and they did anal, and she had to miss school the next day. Oh, yeah, this is ninth grade, bro.

Starting point is 00:48:02 I barely even seen one of my cocks. Like I was so nervous. So I almost been freaking out, right? This guy was like, damn, Bill Z this is ninth grade, bro. I barely even seen one of my cocks. Like I was so ner- So I almost been freaking out, right? This guy was like Dan Bosarian of ninth grade. I was looking at him like tell me your secrets. Oh, and he used to not wear boxers. He'd wear just denim, just denim on Dick. No boxers, raw dog in it.

Starting point is 00:48:18 Oh my. Raw dog in that denim, dude. It was crazy. But the girl literally had to miss school the next day because she couldn't walk. No. And he works at a restaurant now, but yeah, he does. Yeah, he's serving it up.

Starting point is 00:48:30 But wow. That, like, that guy with so many levels, I had a puberty that I was, it was crazy. Oh, when you heard about the first guy that had sex, kind of like, like I remember we came back from seventh grade and some kid had sex apparently, like on a pool chair or something. Yeah, it was always outside.

Starting point is 00:48:47 And people were losing their mind, people did know what to do. People were like trying to like install a pool at the school. Like people had an everything. So I'm my beach ball, like everything. Just banana, because it's like you wanna get as close so you can as you can to sex, you know? Well, it's like the first person I went to the moon, everybody was just like, tell me how you did it. What was's like you wanna get as close so you can as you can to say. Like, you know? Well, it's like the first person I went to the moon,

Starting point is 00:49:06 everybody was just like, tell me how you did it. What was it like in there? Like, could you really like bounce around? Did you feel like yourself? Why I met the guy that did it, man. The green screen? Buzz Aldrin. Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, you met him?

Starting point is 00:49:19 Yeah. Wow. What did he say it was like? Mm. Do you think it was real? Oh well, I'll tell you this, man. If I went out, I remember this. When I looked at him, it didn't seem like he'd been to the moon.

Starting point is 00:49:32 We'll give it away. Just something. Just, he was describing it like a, like a 12-year-old talking about tits. Yeah, it was pretty cool. It was bouncy. Yeah. You know, there was, there was, there were bigger than I thought. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:43 But I could handle it. You didn't see it in his eyes. Yeah, they're just something. He just, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? If I met somebody who'd been to the Galaxi or whatever, I would know. Right.

Starting point is 00:50:00 Well, like somebody like, if I told you I've been to jail, you would look at my body and be like, you have not. Right, you have picked up a friend from Juvie, but that is the most. But there's something about like an energy. So I see what you're saying. Yeah, maybe you zoomed with like a, like a PO or something.

Starting point is 00:50:13 Yeah, exactly. You haven't done that. Yeah, I'm a shick of man's hand who's the data guy. So that was a thing for me, and I'm not discredited in the space program or NASA, but that's just what I think. My grandpa used to work for NASA. Yeah, he was a veteran and worked for NASA.

Starting point is 00:50:26 He was like the manliest guy. Like he always wore the same outfit every day. He was jacked to like 65 works for NASA and a fought in war. That's crazy. I'm fucking tick-tock her. Like what? Like this guy has lived a legacy. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:39 I one time I saw him eat an orange with the peel on. Well, think like an apple. And the thing he said after was the most badass thing. He was like, when you're in the war, you have an option, you can either peel your orange and take your eye off what's going on or you can risk your face peeled by a caliber. I'd never heard something so cool in my life.

Starting point is 00:50:57 Wow. Yeah, it was really cool. He was a great man. Was he? Yeah, and if I ever disrespect to my mom, my mom had a bodyguard. If I ever disrespect to my mom he like my mom had like a bodyguard If I ever disrespect to my mom or said something like I don't want to eat fucking frozen peas He takes like shit. He'd be like he'd always put something down, right?

Starting point is 00:51:12 Oh, and then about be like be like don't you treat my daughter that way? And I could just he wouldn't hit me, but mentally he did yeah, he was a manliest man. I knew Wow, that's amazing. And what was his name? Bert. Bert, that's a good name. Yeah. No, he was awesome. Wow, man, that's really neat, dude. And how did he pass away? Sage.

Starting point is 00:51:32 Oh, Bert. Yeah, yeah, yeah, super cool, man. And he fought in the war, so he would, uh, he'd always say crazy shit in the car. And I was too young to notice at the time, I'm on what I was, but you can't say that anymore. You shouldn't be saying that anymore. I should be sitting in the back because a live Jerry Springer is awesome. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:51 Yeah, I was watching football, yeah, with my grandfather and he'd been in one of the wars and the guy ran a slant or whatever and he'd be like, if a slant runs by here, they'll fucking know what's going on. He would say,

Starting point is 00:52:02 crazy shit on my woo-ho dude, that's not you know you just anybody that kind of fought in the war I try to make a joke about that on stage sometimes like anybody that fought in the war like you're just like kind of okay with them being like slightly A little prejudiced or something you might be like you're just like ah they're in the war They fought for the country, you know, but they didn't like if they didn't fought a war and they said the same shit You'd be like yo fucking pull a man's life alert. That's fucked up They fought for the country, you know. But if they didn't, like if they didn't fight a war, they said the same shit. You'd be like, yo, fucking pull a man's life alert. That's fucked up.

Starting point is 00:52:28 But if you know what I'd use a band name, you know, you know, this is between him and the Lord right now. Don't intercept what he's trying to think. I don't know. You know, if you're selling things, you have to get them to the customer. That's right, if you sell something, you sell a ship a robe,

Starting point is 00:52:47 you sell a little omelette maker, a cute one, that makes the omelettes in the shapes, Christmas ornament shapes, or whatever, little pumpkins, whatever, you gotta ship your product. Ship station can help. That's right. If you're an e-commerce business owner, shipping is no longer a manual task thanks to ship station. Effortless integration anywhere you sell online, including Amazon, eBay,

Starting point is 00:53:15 Shopify, Etsy, and more. And with enterprise solutions that make warehouse optimization easy, that make warehouse optimization easy, ship station scales when you do. Get up to 84% off. USPS and UPS rates. And if that's not enough, use my promo code to try ship station free for two months. Go to shipstation.com and use code THEO today and sign up for your free 60 day trial. That's shipstation.com code Theo. Keep your hair, do you have hair?

Starting point is 00:53:52 Who has hair, huh? Raise your hand if you don't, that's okay. There's help. If you're losing your hair, more than 50 million men in the US suffer from MPB, baby. Male pattern involved in the steps, what they call it? Well, keeps has more five star reviews in any of its competitors. It's expert recommended hair loss treatments.

Starting point is 00:54:22 They will personalize a treatment plan for you by a licensed medical provider You can easily subscribe to keeps you get refill reminders. It's low cost You want to keep that hair? You want to stay wigging around homie? You want to be wigged out? They'll do it That's right keeps help us men keep their hair and prevent hair loss. That'll do it. That's right. Keeps help us men. Keep their hair and prevent hair loss. That's what it does. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keps.com slash Theo to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's keps.com slash THEO to get your first month free keeps.com slash Theo. Dude, it is kind of crazy how like, like people that like serve the country and help protect

Starting point is 00:55:15 the country and like establish the borders and like, um, they kind of throw them by the wayside as they get older because like they're Like here's what I'm saying is it's interesting now like like our parents might have like different views Then like a probably a lot of younger generation has right? Probably a lot of more old-fashioned views But their parents like went off to war to like protect like the the free the Safety of the nation and stuff like that. So when they're like pissed off about the border, it's like you kind of have to respect

Starting point is 00:55:51 where they're coming from. If they had a parent that died somewhere defending the border, you know what I'm saying? Or like establishing the land of America. It's like that a lot of times that stuff gets so like not even factored into the way that people behave. Like, yeah, I could understand if what, like my mom feels certain ways about like protecting like the freedoms of America and like defending our border and like looking out for America first,

Starting point is 00:56:19 if she had a grandfather or a father that was gone for a fucking eight months or a year out of her life because he was out defending it or whatever. The problem is when there's the disconnect, when after generations, it fades away. If your dad was that guy, then it's very strong to you. Now when you have the child, it gets less and less. And now it's like, I hear about the war, and I'm like, yeah, but what about the TikTok

Starting point is 00:56:43 algorithm? Like that's the war I'm fighting. Yeah, what about minecraft? Exactly. Yeah, somebody who's like a better gamer now, it's like better than like, who was that general during like Iraq or something that was Colin Powell?

Starting point is 00:56:57 I'm a Patreus. Colin. Patreus, yeah. Patreus now is like the same as like some, who's like one of the best gamers right now. I know Ninja was big or like all the phase clan dudes like Shinobi or somebody you know or whoever What a gang you know, but yeah, it's that disconnect where it's like it's well, I mean, it's like now it's like I I've done a lot of like college shows and

Starting point is 00:57:22 80% of the audience wasn't live for 9.11. And it's like, you say 9.11 to them, and it's just like a date to them. And it blows my mind, but it's like, yeah, that was me learning about World War II. I don't know. I was in a nut sack somewhere, balled up, waiting for my draft.

Starting point is 00:57:38 Yeah. So it's just a time thing, I think, but it is bizarre. Which crazy to how we just don't even like we're yeah It is wild how much things change and then how Like we kind of don't take into account what other people like what their generation was like, you know It's almost like you're there suddenly like wrong just because they're getting older because Like times have kind of changed, you know Yeah

Starting point is 00:58:04 But anyway, what else can we talk about? That's a little more fucking normal, dude. What else is going on in the news, Zach? A lot of stuff, huh? Yeah, we got a couple stories here. I guess a former bodyguard is launching a ride-charing app where the drivers will be armed with guns. Oh, I heard about this in Atlanta, right?

Starting point is 00:58:22 Yeah, yeah. I would use that, but I would go to a place where you wouldn't need bodyguard, just to feel cool. It's called Black Wolf. Black Wolf. Wow. An app designed to rival Uber and Lyft recently launched in Atlanta and is about to drop in New York.

Starting point is 00:58:36 Kerry King Brown revealed he created the app as a necessary evil who are mostly on the news, getting robbed, getting raped, the average person. Well, yeah, who else is it gonna be? Senators, you could take down a senator pretty easy though, but who else can be animal or something? Like who? Yeah, that is interesting. Like where would you take this?

Starting point is 00:58:56 Like what's something you'd be going to, like if I was like a kid rock comp, yep. I mean, easily Memphis, dude. Shout out Memphis. A Raiders game. Raiders game easily mistooled. Shout out Memphis. A Raiders game. Raiders game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that, I think maybe like a kid rock cover band concert.

Starting point is 00:59:14 Oh, yeah. You know, yeah, I could possibly see it needed for that too. So what happens, they just send you with a driver with a gun? Because I think most Uber drivers, if you go to like Sacramento, probably just have a gun on them. Yeah. It seems like the drivers are specially trained. Like they mentioned that one of the drivers

Starting point is 00:59:31 of private investigator in previously worked as a bodyguard. So it's not that just they have the gun. It's like they're professionally trained. Wow. Okay, got it. So what I'm creating is a necessary evil. It's a necessity.

Starting point is 00:59:41 It says Brown is no ordinary driver and he's no regular man with a plan. He has a private investigator and has worked as a bodyguard for celebrities and politicians. He wants to share his own brand of executive protection with the world. So this is one of those things I think you're starting to see like, you know, like just too many insanely rich people

Starting point is 01:00:00 out there, I think. Yeah, you know, walking around. Right. I think there should be a cap on how much money that you can make them would. You lose it and then get back up. Like if you overshoot in 21. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:11 I think I got to go on. No, but here's what happens. I think they then like, just like the town or wherever you're from, let's, you get something like named after you. Like there's some like, there's some value that's given to you because of the way you're creating stuff, or you have to give more to your employee. Like, I don't know, something like,

Starting point is 01:00:30 but I think part of it is you're just starting to see like a lot of rich people are probably getting scared of people that are like shooting at them. What do you think? I mean, yeah, that's a huge problem here in LA. Like rich people are getting robbed all the time. Oh yeah, look at the Rolex on or day on so it runs up and grabs it. Yeah, that's the people are gonna get this.

Starting point is 01:00:47 It's not gonna be, he says it's for regular people, but what regular person's gonna get that? Yeah, unless they're going to prom or something, they don't want somebody else's. It's funny. Hitting on their chick or something. Yeah, I don't know when, I don't even know when I would like use that. Or like when I would feel like, oh, fuck, you know,

Starting point is 01:01:04 maybe black Friday, show up to Walmart, people be shooting over flat screens. Shooting over an air fryer. Yeah, so maybe I pull up with that there. Yeah, I think it's gonna become, first of all, it's gonna become a niche thing that rich people are gonna do. So rich people who have a ton of extra expendable income,

Starting point is 01:01:23 they just wanna spend it any way they can to look even richer. If you could hire somebody to be with you at all times, would it be like a bodyguard and escort? Maybe like a smoothing who knows a lot about like zoo animals? What do you think it would be? Ooh, what's a good question? I would do like a minute, like somebody,

Starting point is 01:01:40 like a really buff mom, I think. Oh, I'd hire like a total wigger to hang out with me all day. Like my boy Brian Purve said I grew up with though. Who's Brian Purve? RIP, man. Oh, what happened? No, he's not dead, but he is in a real deal for so long that it's like, he might as well be.

Starting point is 01:01:58 No, but he's interesting. Nobody in the outside is gonna get to know him, you know? And he's, wow, if you're in jail for life, he's kind of all right there, maybe. That's him? Yeah. Oh, wow, And he's, wow, if you're in jail for life, you're gonna fall off all the way. That's him? Yeah. Oh, wow, he got the, see, if that guy told me he's been to the moon, I wouldn't believe him,

Starting point is 01:02:10 but I would buy Molly off him. Yeah. He's got that, I got that good Molly on him. He got those moon rocks, yeah. Oh, so what happened? That's empty murder. I could just, I would like to hang out with him, bro, or just like some real like, just some dude that's real like I was real as it can get like he's always

Starting point is 01:02:26 Revenant's hands. Yeah, somebody that's a real as you can get, bro, some dude that uh, he can just move his head side to side like this to Move forward or come up with a good idea. Yeah, you asking what smooth he wants. He's thinking about catalytic converters and shit. Yeah, he doesn't blink unless he's you know, He sees you blink. He's fucking right, you know, yes, remind doesn't blink unless he sees you blink, he's fucking. Right, you know. He has to remind himself to blink. On his hands, a blink and he goes, yeah, his whoop bracelet, like he goes off. He always knows a good like ICP playlist.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Oh, dude, his house arrest bracelet. Oh, yeah, it's got the Wu Tang logo on it. It makes a special beep when he walks through a grocery store entrance. Yeah, yeah. That's how he Wu Tang logo on it. It makes a special beep when he walks through a grocery store entrance. Yeah, that's how he does Apple Pay with an ankle monitor. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. He just puts his fucking, uh, his British night up on the, uh.

Starting point is 01:03:14 You ever been arrested? Yep, I've been arrested, man. I don't know. We was at a house somewhere and the cops came in and they went upstairs, right? This is the crazy thing. And they bring a kid down from upstairs. Everybody's hot downstairs. You had no idea who the kid was?

Starting point is 01:03:27 No. And everybody's like, who the fuck here is a kid? Nobody had a kid, right? It was we were kids. Right. They bring a sleeping kid with like a, um. Do you think they tried to plan it on you? You know how it totally seemed like.

Starting point is 01:03:39 Like when somebody gets shot and they experimented with Coke on him. Oh, it was a Coke head. Yeah. These kids were funneling kids. But like yeah, with the kid, it was like? You know how it totally seemed like, like when somebody gets shot and they experiment with Coke on them. Oh, it was a Coke head. Yeah. These kids were funneling kids.

Starting point is 01:03:49 But like yeah, with the kid, it was like he was like rubbing his eye, and he had on like a little night. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it seemed like some out of like a Charles Dickens novel. Yeah, I was gonna say kids were always rubbing their eyes and movies. Yeah, so it seemed really like a set up in Mississippi

Starting point is 01:04:01 and so we had to go staying in for the night. I'm trying to think if there was another time. I feel like I did another time. I got put in the bag of a cop car for teaping a house in eighth grade. Suburb shit. Wow. What gang was that?

Starting point is 01:04:15 Dude, fucking Sharman Ultra. Fucking hard Sharman. Yeah, single ply. Bitch. Wow. We always single ply out. Yeah, so we went through some shit. Yeah, little, nah, some shit went through you. Yeah, fingers went through some shit. Yeah, little, nah, some shit went through you.

Starting point is 01:04:26 Yeah, fingers went through some shit. Yeah, but I was, remember me and my friend Matt, I had a backpack on and if you see any kid with a backpack for the morning. He ain't going to school. So the cops just pulled over and I had like four rolls on me, just sharming. Yeah, my parents were probably more so pissed

Starting point is 01:04:45 that I was throwing the knife toward the paper. But yeah, the cops were like, what are you doing? And then I had to go wake my parents up and then my parents had to go talk to the cop and my neighbor at the time was the sheriff. That's the only reason we got anything. They're like, oh shit, I know your neighbor, that's the shit, you know?

Starting point is 01:05:00 And so they just, I don't know how that helped, but yeah, that was it. That's all I did was wake my parents, wait, it was a cop downstairs, like the fuck. That was it. That was such a weird time as a kid when you had to go get your parents up at night, remember that?

Starting point is 01:05:13 Oh, yeah. Because like, can we go open? You have to open their door, go in by their, and you knew they were asleep. Right. And it was that moment where you're like, how do I time run knock? Maybe they're like knots, like,

Starting point is 01:05:23 maybe I'll give them an extra five seconds to sleep or something. Yeah, how do you like, and then you're like, mom? Yeah. You having another nightmare? No. Um, there's a squad car out front. Cops are here.

Starting point is 01:05:35 Yeah, and your dad was in some weird PJs and dick was probably flopping out. Fuck you talking about it. Yeah, it was weird. I don't think I got in trouble for that. I think it was just, I don't even, I don't even remember what happened. Yeah, all that time was just interesting, man. Were we talking about on the news that happened? Good, Lanna. Oh, yeah, Lanna. So, yeah, I'm just wondering, yeah,

Starting point is 01:05:49 I think you're just gonna start seeing more rich people get, like, special services. Yeah, just to spend the money, because they have to... I wonder if it's just gonna give some mainstream, like, imagine where, like, these dudes aren't doing any combat. Like, these dudes are trained tactically to, like, for the first time in a year, and they have to... I wonder if it's just gonna get some mainstream.

Starting point is 01:06:05 Like, imagine where, like, these dudes aren't doing anything in combat. Like, these dudes are trained tactically to like fuck somebody up, but now he's dropping somebody off of LAX. Like, I get bored. I'm like, I know how to shoot a gun. Why are you making me drive to, you know,

Starting point is 01:06:16 American Airlines? Well, and at a certain point, those guys are gonna want to shoot guns. Yeah, I think they should. So, they're gonna want to pop off on somebody. They're gonna want to, um... Yeah, can you get the trunk for me? They're gonna want to put a piece in somebody. They're gonna want to, um... Yeah, can you get the trunk for me? Pfft.

Starting point is 01:06:25 They're gonna want to put a piece into somebody. They're gonna want to put a free filling in somebody's fucking ribcage. Yeah, because I think they're just gonna be like loading in that car like, I wanna fucking hit someone. Yeah. Well, they might start some beef.

Starting point is 01:06:35 Well, shit's getting weird now. I notice when I, uh, walk up to a car now, it used to be you could walk up to happen to happen when they were asked somebody a question. Seems crazy to do now. It used to be you could walk up tap if someone tap on the window or ask somebody a question. Seems crazy to do now. Doesn't it? Yeah. Bro, the other day I'm walking up to a car

Starting point is 01:06:50 and I was like, oh my God. Well, you also look like somebody who's gonna sell you some like fake fish tickets. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying, bro? I'll find, or some fake, or some fake fish. You know what I'm brah, or some fake, or some fake fish. You know what I'm like?

Starting point is 01:07:08 You're all fuck with these, it's just a hamster with a fin on the back. So, what were we saying? I'll cut you off on my back. Yeah, it's either modest Yahoo or my, my dude. Yeah, yeah, you're buying something. Yeah, so you walked into a car and what happened? I didn't mean to cut you off.

Starting point is 01:07:20 But it spooked me out. I was like, oh my god, if this person would have just drawn on me and shot me, there would have been a case for them that this guy came up on my car whether or not had a weapon or not. Yeah. It wouldn't have been just like an open shut thing of like you shooting a stranger. Right. You approached my bubble. Remember that and people say, get out of my bubble. That was some mom shit. But so what do you do if you're like out of red light and something like walks up to your car?

Starting point is 01:07:45 Do you break ice? Do you keep your eyes on the road? Are you talking to them or you just look for it? Like it is weird, like you just stand there and you're like, pretend you're at the wheel and you're just like pretending that they're not there. Or do you interact? You mean if they come up to the window of your car?

Starting point is 01:07:56 Yeah, like who are they? Why would you do that? Just somebody looking for money. Okay, blow job. Well, that's almost different because you almost are kind of expecting. And in that moment, I feel like at a stoplight you're kind of looking around.

Starting point is 01:08:05 I think for me like there were cars in a parking lot. They were parked. And what happened was I thought I walked up to, we had a rental car. I thought I would walk up to the wrong car. But I walked up and kind of like was by, I mean, I'm like right by the glass. There's somebody sitting in that car. And I'm like, if that person years ago, it's been like, oh, I'm so sorry, it's an accident. But now it's like the windows are all tinted,

Starting point is 01:08:27 everything so it's like, I don't know, it just felt like if they shot me, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be crazy. Yeah, you know, like last words would be like, I get it. It does feel like the brain just trains you that anytime like somebody comes up to your car, you should be like, like, fight or flight immediately. But everybody's scared now, I feel like,

Starting point is 01:08:44 and we're building up this, but sometimes you go like a real small town and they're like the opposite. Like you walk up, you need some honey. I remember I was doing a show. That's a good point. I was in Butte, Montana, and there's a population of like 456,

Starting point is 01:08:59 maybe 454 today, but that I was walking from the Walmart to my hotel and this lady drives by and she goes, do you need help? And I was like, and this is like very early my career. So I thought I was like, hot shit. And I was like, oh, maybe she recognized me. And she's like, no, what's up?

Starting point is 01:09:15 She's like, oh, anytime you see somebody walking in this town, it means something bad happened. And I was just helping you out. And that was that. No offers of sex or nothing. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good point. So I'm offers of sex or nothing. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good point. So I'm thinking from more like a city perspective.

Starting point is 01:09:28 Where was this at? This was in Phoenix. Okay. Yeah, there's a lot of walk-in-ems cars out there. But I just had never thought that before. I'd never thought that before. Like if I walk up somebody's car that they would, if they did shoot me or the,

Starting point is 01:09:42 I just had never thought that there was that much fear in the air or like weird energy and like uncertainty. I think people are just very nervous about what other people are capable of. Yeah, that is true. Everyone's just like on the heightened senses. Yeah, I think some of it's because you see a lot of clips of people like beating people up on like Twitter and stuff.

Starting point is 01:10:02 Do you see ever seen any of that stuff? Of course. Twitter is just tits and people get knocked out. Yeah, which is pretty good combo. It's like the new Spike TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a fuck is Spike TV, I miss that shit. Mansors, every time it'd be like,

Starting point is 01:10:17 my girlfriend is talking too much. I'm like, fucking divorce that bitch. And the Spike TV, we'll be back to you after this Jack links beef jerky commercial. I miss Spike TV. That was just like creative team for the soul. Dude, spike TV was so fucking good. It was like they had like cat up like, I don't even know. I do like, oh watch this guy get his get a root canal done with a fork lift. Yeah, and he doesn't himself. But they had the show a thousand ways to die. Oh, I don't wanted to see that.

Starting point is 01:10:45 They would just find random cases around the world and they would hire reenactment actors to be like, yeah, I'd be like, this guy was climbing the Christmas tree and trying to put the final thing in the ornament and got, you know, a lecture to the cock. Yeah, it was a really weird show. They would just reenact how random deaths would happen. I wonder if there's like one actor

Starting point is 01:11:03 that does a lot of the death reenactments, you know? Oh, there he was a go-to guy on call. Yeah. Now he's just at a bar like, you were seeing a thousand ways to die, that was me. It was me, 40 of them were me. Yeah. Yeah, what other shows the Spike TV have?

Starting point is 01:11:18 I just remember the name and the feeling associated with the sound. Well, they had early UFC, I think was on Spike TV, wasn't it? Was it UFC or just a bunch of dudes fighting on front of red lobster. Oh, I think either one. That's main that you're talking about. Yeah. There's nothing better than a like a raw street fight. You're just been driving my see a fight. It may have been a ring cam from Maine. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, dude. For I was in New York the other day, right? So there's like two home.

Starting point is 01:11:41 There's like a homeless dude and what we thought was like a regular dude. Like we're sitting outside of a cafe. And I don't go to cafes, dude, because they're gay, right? My buddy wanted to go. Yeah, I was gonna say, I can't see you sitting there sipping a little cappuccino with a pink eye. Yeah, I was just mid, dude, I was buying coke and then selling it to other people.

Starting point is 01:11:57 I don't do it anymore, but I'll, Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll middle a few grams, you know what I'm saying? I can keep me hyped, right? Right, just to say cool with the cafe. Yeah, what can I give you an eight ball? You want it iced? So, we saw some dudes in me and my buddy Kevin, when I got,

Starting point is 01:12:13 all right, let's go see what's going on here. So we get up from our little table. The tables in New York are just small. Especially cafes. How fucking small is this table? Yeah, it's insane. I do like the arguments when you're like sitting at a table at a restaurant in New York.

Starting point is 01:12:27 You can hear the people like directly to your left and right. Couples aren't doing well in New York. No. So I get this a lot of hot people. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that town either. Oh, dude, everything that walked by, I wanted to put my face in it, you know? It's an insane, I couldn't imagine feeling like

Starting point is 01:12:42 I was in a comfortable relationship in that town. Like you're both walking, be like, wow, that girl's so hot. She's like, wow, that dude's so hot. And you're just like, huh, okay, can't wait to go back to Easter with your family next week. Yeah, fuck everybody. Oh, dude, it's just like you just want to fucking, you know, it's crazy in the fashion, I'm like, you just want to damn pink eye collection, you know. Like you're fucking willing.

Starting point is 01:13:02 And you get it the organic way too. Not if you need it. Yeah, not a far on the pillow just far on these goddamn eyelids. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I put these things to sleep, honey. Yeah, it's no hot town. So we heard two homeless do wait. We thought it was a homeless dude in a regular dude fight. So we go over and affair for the regular dude. He'll get his ass beat. Well, we didn't know what was happening. So we cruise over and then one of them, they're beating each other with a toilet tissue

Starting point is 01:13:29 with a bunch of packet of shit tickets, right? So one of them's banging the other dude up with this, with like a eight pack of shit tickets dude. And we're like, oh dude, hey, what's going on here guys? And it was a black guy and a white guy. And we're like, what's going on here guys? Who is what? I can't remember who and then at that point we realized oh both of these guys are home are like kind of Crackheads or whatever. Yeah, you know like they were drug-induced.

Starting point is 01:13:54 Would they ever fun though? That kind of sounds fun. No, it sounds like a street pillow fight. If did a little but then they apologize like we're so sorry they kept cursing at each other and kept hitting each other with toilet tissue. And, but it was weird, because we went from thinking, all right, let's step in here and see if we can help out or what's gonna go on to,

Starting point is 01:14:12 oh fuck, both these guys are fucking routine, like mentally unwel, like. Do you see the fight at Disneyland last week? Yeah, a couple of whites, huh? Yeah, I love a good public fight. It's so funny. Well, I always thought that this was a black thing until white people,

Starting point is 01:14:24 this is basically cultural appropriation now. White people fighting, well, fighting at Disney World. Fighting at Disney World, because black people, they'd had one group of black people that had done it pretty well a while back. Remember that, Zach?

Starting point is 01:14:34 Yeah. And they do that like places like Maddox, Space Mountain, like fun places to watch a fight. Yeah. But what's worse, like proposing at Disneyland, be like, will you marry me or fighting at Disneyland?

Starting point is 01:14:45 I think proposing at Disneyland's worse. Fighting it, like that's free entertainment. Oh, I love how they're matching t-shirts. That's hilarious. This was over like where to take a picture, by the way, is people fight. This is where you walk in. They all have matching t-shirts.

Starting point is 01:15:01 Wow. That's the best ride there. No ride will do that much. You can try to get it out of there. No, that's true. Oh,. No ride when you're that lucky. You're trying to get rid of that. No, that's true. Oh, this is Mace Mountain, dude. This is a bunch of thick white fucking spray in each other with that no sight sauce.

Starting point is 01:15:14 How many people are fucking going down? No, dude, that's fucking, yeah. No, no, no. Well, what started that? Was it over a photo? Oh, over a photo. That's literally what it says. Good job, Trevor, for reading.

Starting point is 01:15:24 There's something nice about being in a group fight like that where there's a lot? Oh over a photo. That's literally what it says. Good job, Trevor, for reading. There's something nice about being in a group fight like that, where there's a lot of like energy in one space. Look at that chick rolling in. Yeah. Dude on the bottom has to just move states. That guy is getting his ass ripped. I imagine that's your dad.

Starting point is 01:15:38 That's great. See, this is what I don't understand at this point. At some point, do we ever cut off the gene pool? Like, do we say, hey, we're not gonna let there, like at a certain point, the genes have had enough time to be in the zeitgeist of humanity, right? Okay. Like the DNA, we've seen what it can do here,

Starting point is 01:15:59 what it can do there. Like we're getting an idea. At a certain point, do we ever say, hey, you guys can't do any more DNA in the whites? I know any groups of people or like at a certain point do you lose your DNA privileges maybe based on your own? Well, you should be. You should be.

Starting point is 01:16:20 But your own, there should be some level where you lose your DNA privileges. Okay. Yeah, like if you keep like a three strike type of thing. Something. So like a fight like that, you're done. I think you get a strike for sure. Yeah, and if you did your ASB, it's two strikes.

Starting point is 01:16:39 Okay, the guy on the bottom down there, I mean, he is protesting Disney from day one. I mean, that's crazy. Do you stay at the park after you get your ice beat? Well, you probably arrested. I think you probably say, well, they didn't know that the video was out. Who knows if they even got arrested? They have a jail at Disneyland.

Starting point is 01:16:54 Oh, they do. Yeah. I haven't been, but they'd be crazy. Dropping the soap there. Crazy. Yeah. Give a quick little. Ooh, ooh.

Starting point is 01:17:03 Oh boy. So I was giving goofy in that ass. I don't know dude. I'm trying to think if you had to make love to one cartoon who would it be? Bro the girl from Futurama Lola she had three tits in one eye. That's a great combo right there. Just bring her up. I think I think it was three tits in one. I wasn't really looking past the oh she only had two tits Yeah, it was only two No, she had three Bro, you're thinking of total recall. Yeah I'm thinking of a good night She just kind of does something. It's like the purple hair. Mm-hmm Like she she'd be a bartender at a place in Hollywood and wouldn't look at you and that's hard to do with that eye

Starting point is 01:17:40 But she would like she wouldn't look you know well having oh yeah See what you're saying, but also I'm gonna say this, having one eye, there would be something so nice to somebody at one eye. You ever really try to look at somebody in the eyes? Just one, I'm doing it right now. Like, but in both eyes, it's almost impossible because you can't, you don't know where to,

Starting point is 01:17:58 yeah, there's always a little bit of, somebody told me a trick for interviews, you stare in the middle of the nose, like right in between the eyes, because for interviews, you stare in the middle of the nose, like right in between the eyes, because it looks, you can't really tell. But also, I think one eye is kind of seductive, because imagine you do one of these sort of cheek

Starting point is 01:18:12 and she blushes and the one eye goes down, that's pretty hot. But the one eye is bigger and imagine if she starts crying and one big tear comes out. Wow. I could break an iPhone. Yeah, they gotta get a ball of rice and everything. who's your cartoon you'd go for let me think the cartoon That's oh Jessica rabbit, huh? Just grab it does it. Yeah for a lot of god. Yeah, boy I just wanted to draw my own dick on her I

Starting point is 01:18:39 Remember when I saw that oh what about a low-doll she was a real woman. I was like mine We have to go meet her. Oh, what about a low, I thought she was a real woman. I was like, my mom, we have to go meet her. Oh, do you know how me, uh, wish I was like, I'm gonna fuck a beat you in the yard if you don't calm down. Is that what happened if you got too horned up? My mom was beat you in the yard. Oh, dude, my mom, if we were lucky, she'd get a can,

Starting point is 01:18:55 she'd get some can bearing, go sit in the yard for a while. God, sometimes I wish somebody beat my ass when I get too horny. It's Sunday. Like if I just start swiping on dating apps, I wish somebody would just punch me in the back of your head and be like, go write a new joke.

Starting point is 01:19:07 I'm like, are you right? Yeah, be good, huh? You think about that? The horning is slows down. It takes up so much your time. Look at that. How much horning does a- To my therapist, literally told me the other day

Starting point is 01:19:17 that I should try jerking off to get these thoughts out of my head. And I was like, where the fuck did you get your degree at? Arizona State University. I had to date. Because I was like, I feel like sometimes I'm like, I'm going on dates. I don't know if I just like, where the fuck did you get your degree at Arizona State University? What? Because I was like, I feel like sometimes I'm going on dates. I don't know if I just like the attention. Do I like, I don't want to waste anybody's time.

Starting point is 01:19:32 Like do I like these people? Is it just the attention? And he's like, well, before you start texting people back, just jerk off. And it was like such a simple, it's the only time he's ever given me an answer. Usually he has questions. He'll be like, well, how does it make you feel? Why does it make you feel? But this is the only time he's like, just touch answer. Usually he has questions. He'll be like, well, how does it make you feel? Why does it make you feel? But this is the only time he's like, just touch yourself.

Starting point is 01:19:46 And I was like, damn, bro. And I did. And it works for about 38 minutes. Wow, really? Creams back in. So you got that half life. So you're, you come right back around pretty quick. When you make love to a woman, all right?

Starting point is 01:20:01 Are you willing or able to make love again the same night? The same night, yeah, but it's got to be like a full like family guy episode. Like it's not like in my, I don't know, cuz like here's all I go, I can get back up, but the nut ain't replenished. You know? So I'm like in a car driving downhill, but there's no engine in there. Oh yeah. But I'm driving.

Starting point is 01:20:22 Yeah, so it's almost like the engine's off, but you're still going down. I'm coasting. Yeah. But there's's no there's no rev power. Yeah, and then I got a lot of my all finished and then Didn't so I'd be faking it too ladies. Oh, I remember the first time I ever got did six This lady. Oh, were you by the way? Well two things happened one I Hmm well two things happen one I One I tried to have sex with a girl and I Just got close to her and just eject all over

Starting point is 01:21:01 Damn and I just churned out baby. I was built up. Oh god boy. That's probably for the best I mean you could hear a fucking wolf house. It was pure brother That's uncut nut. Oh, that, you could hear a fucking wolf howl that shit was pure, brother. That's uncut nut. Oh, it did. Yeah, this straight from the Pacific. So how close was she to you? She was probably four inches away from me in bed. I could just feel my body getting closer to hers and just closer. And then I just, and I was like, are you, is everything okay?

Starting point is 01:21:23 Are you okay? And I was like, I didn't know what had happened kind of. How'd you get out of it? I said, we should get out of here, right? And then, as I coughed from the way, I don't know what I said, dude. But I got so scared and nervous that I made her climb out of the window. Yeah, anything to take your mind off the fact that you just

Starting point is 01:21:39 pre-came. Yeah, I was like, you got to get the fuck out of here. Yeah, why? The dogs are out front, the dogs are barking. Yes, I was like, you have to get the fuck out of here. And there was nobody else even out of our house. So it was like, you gotta get the fuck out of here. You're stuck in the water. Why? The dogs are out front, the dogs are barking. Yes, I was like, you have to get the fuck out of here. And there was nobody else even out of our house. So it was like, there's somebody who's stuck in here in the window.

Starting point is 01:21:50 Yeah, that's crazy. And then, yeah, so that was the first almost. And then I ended up making love to this girl behind the bowling alley in our town over there. Bowling out is kind of a seductive place. A lot of like this action right here, these three fingers go a lot of work. And all of a sudden, you know,

Starting point is 01:22:04 shh, shh. Oh yeah. She's bowling a perfect strike on that. We were out to work. We were out to workuctive place. A lot of like this action right here, these three fingers get a lot of work and all of a sudden, you know. Shh. Oh yeah. She's born a perfect strike on that. We were out to win. We were out to win behind the place. There's actually, if you pull it up on a, it's still out there.

Starting point is 01:22:13 There's um, Tiffany Lanes, it was called. I would love if the first review, or like it was like, Tiffany Lane, we're Theobon, God, it's Cocktouch. Yeah. Is it in there? Oh my God, honestly, somebody did it. I'm here because of Theo von

Starting point is 01:22:26 who lost something precious at the bowling alley, so long ago. Oh, this is real. Yep, Tiffany Lane's bowling alley over there. They gave it five stars, too. Temporarily closed. You should reopen it. We should.

Starting point is 01:22:38 You remember him. Oh, really? Did that one be a bad idea to reopen? You should, what would you call it? Theo's nut hut, Tiffany's lane. Tiffany's. Tiffany's slaying. Yeah, I think you should.

Starting point is 01:22:49 You remember when a punchline and San Francisco was gonna close down and then Chappelle was like, here's a bunch of money to keep it open? You should do that with this place, Tiffany Lane. What was the review on there, Zach? I mean, if we read it. It was, they said I'm only here because the Yovon lost something precious.

Starting point is 01:23:06 That's so funny. That's, you have, I've been meaning to tell you this, you have the best fans, honestly. Really? They're great. With all the shows that I've done with you, they're so, they're just excited. They're just happy to be there.

Starting point is 01:23:19 Oh, thanks man. And the energy just, but it feels both, because I don't know, I love doing any of your shows. And last time I did this past weekend, a bunch of positive comments. And yeah, yeah, it's just a great fan base. They're just all, they're there for not only you, but they each other, I think.

Starting point is 01:23:35 And I think a lot of the clips I see on TikTok are a bunch of really funny stuff, but also people will clip the moments where you're just real. There was one recently we were talking about you, like I don't know if I'm doing my to-do list or I don't know who's to-do list I'm doing. And all the comments were like, dude, I fucking sympathize with, I feel this.

Starting point is 01:23:52 This is like the real theosel. People respect you on both sides, you know? Because if I open up and be myself, like not that I'm not, but like if I really open up and I'm like, this is what makes me sad at life. People, but man, shut the fuck up. Don't make a video about Celsius, you idiot. So for you, it's like, I think people are like 360.

Starting point is 01:24:10 They love 30360. Oh, interesting man. And look, I know people do care about me and all that. And I'm just fabricating all that stuff. But I think like, you know, if I, if I pose to anything that's not like a scatter standup, you're like, the fuck is this? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:24 Go back to making videos of porn stores Did it you know, but I think people just love you so much for anything and everything you do Thanks, man, it's really good. It's a lot of special faint. Yeah, a lot of special people out there I noticed it to a lot of nice people come out will leave nice things leave nice messages I have a lot of good interaction with people on stuff. Yeah issues and stuff, just a lot of people struggling with different things. I think also probably since I'm older than you, like you'll have probably more times like that in the future where you'll get to space in your life.

Starting point is 01:24:54 Like, you know, you're still making sure that people, and just like I am, like you just, you know, you wanna make sure that people accept you or whatever you know. But that's really bad a lot. But yeah, you know. But it does feel like that a lot. But yeah, I think, yeah, I feel like that when I did Nelk, I just did Nelk podcast. How was that?

Starting point is 01:25:10 It was good, man. I like being a wreck. I'm kind of fascinated by their business. It's hilarious. And what they do. And they keep like, kind of, kind of, axing people from their fucking pile. Like, people kind of disappear.

Starting point is 01:25:22 It's bizarre. It's like everybody in there is like, is a boyfriend and girlfriend and then they're like, we're fucking dumb with that bitch. And then next week they're like, we're back together but he's only that like, it's just an ever-changing door but Kyle's the one that like remains the same. And then everyone else kind of rotates around him.

Starting point is 01:25:37 But dude, I mean like note podcasts is, and I would gladly do it, hit me up. But I remember I took like two days off social media and the first thing I opened was my phone. It was Donald Trump being asked about ice spice by Kyle and I'm like, what, how do we get here? And Donald Trump's like, ice spice, what a woman. Great hair, love the bush.

Starting point is 01:25:57 It is, you know, I think everything's kind of merged now. That's how it felt. It was like a US president is doing a podcast, alone is a wild topic, but to be doing the Nellboys podcast, what they're doing, it's like, all right, up next, Donald Trump. But first, Blue Shoot, does your dick not work? It's just what you said.

Starting point is 01:26:15 It's world's combining. And we're all turning into the WWE. I mean, even the UFC now is merged with the WWE. Yeah. Everything is kind of, you know, you have celebrities fighting box, like everything is kind of merging in a weird way. Everything. It's like, anything that's good or bad?

Starting point is 01:26:33 I don't know, that's a thing. I don't know what it is, it's hard to get, it's hard for me. I have a tough time seeing like the patterns and a tough time seeing like the bigger picture of things. So I'm like, what is kind of going on? Do we feel like things are getting better or more unique? Do we feel like we're just becoming like, I don't know, America doesn't really feel like

Starting point is 01:26:55 a big thing anymore. Like when I was a, America was like the biggest thing there was. Yeah, it was like the biggest company in the world was America, right? It was like, we're the biggest company in the world. There was number one on the Dow Jones, baby. America, right? It was like, we're the biggest company in the world. There was number one on the Dow Jones, baby. Yeah, USA. That was it.

Starting point is 01:27:08 But now it feels almost, and maybe it's just because I live in California, it almost feels like, and this is a political statement, but it doesn't feel weird to wrap America a little bit. Like if you just see somebody wearing a USA T-shirt, you almost look at them and you automatically associate who they are politically and who they are and and like how they eat pussy and like how they shoot guns Yeah, they eat it from the back

Starting point is 01:27:29 Yeah, I'm saying like the point here like it's a goddamn trucker But it feels like But like there's nothing wrong with you love What you like if like no there's nothing wrong in that all right because you'd see a guy then With a Brazilian flag you like yeah, that guy loves his country. Exactly. But they'd see a guy with American flag, you'd be like, oh, this guy might be

Starting point is 01:27:48 some right-winged political guy. Yeah, but that dude can be sucking cock like his fucking, you know, on some Joey Chestnut shit, you know, so you don't really know what or where or how or why, but like something about the USA flag, you think you know the person specifically. Well, that's when it starts to feel like that something, like there must be the dark

Starting point is 01:28:06 artists that kind of run things. Whoever they are or if there is, they, you know, they've definitely started to dissolve the idea of what it means to be American to a lot of people, you know. But at the same time, it's like you have people expressing all their rights and opinions when they're lucky enough to live in a country where you can express your rights and opinions. It's a great place. But it's only because those things have been like fought for and the government has been kept enough in check.

Starting point is 01:28:37 And the thing, it's only because, like, because easily you could be Cuba or you could be Cuba or you could be what's another place? Europe? Europe. Paris? Where they don't, or you know what I'm saying? You could be another place where you don't have the freedom.

Starting point is 01:28:54 Yeah, yeah, Russia, dude. My family's very Russian and it's like, I was, I told somebody who they're like, I kind of want to go back to them, they're like, right now, I was like, yeah, what's up? They're like, what do you mean, what's up? Have you heard of anything about Russian you crane right now? You to it, they're like, right now, I was like, yeah, what's up? They're like, what do you mean, what's up? Have you heard of anything about Russian Ukraine right now, you dumbass?

Starting point is 01:29:07 I'm like, did I get all my news from Lafay Tab, he's in Snapchat, I'm not doing well in the head brother, I don't know what to tell you. But like, I think we're taking for granted, fucking USA, you know? But if you see, like I was a 4 to 3 50, and it's a wrapped USA, you're like, oh, this guy. I really mean it.

Starting point is 01:29:23 This guy is on a first name basis with a lot of hooters in town. Yeah, yeah. Well, I definitely think there's like some traditionalism, but there are people who like use the flag now. Also, it's like, I'm gonna use the flag as my way of showing how conservative I am. Or I don't know, but there's also like,

Starting point is 01:29:43 like people that have liberty or like What is the new thing it's? Libertarian libertarian. Oh, I am big. Do they use the American flag a lot? I? Feel like they do I feel like they pick. That's hilarious dude. Yeah, that's like fucking some people would have an oz Zampic flag outside of the Boy and people be knocking at the door like you got it I heard a girl the bar maybe a month ago, she goes, I think I'm going to Mexico next week

Starting point is 01:30:08 because those Zempick is $800 cheaper. And I was like, that sends a loan. And I was just looking at, I was like, why do you have to be so goddamn hot? It's like, like if I said that people would year an idiot, but I heard that and I was like, I can see through the red flags on this. But like going across the border to get diabetic medicines so you can look thinner.

Starting point is 01:30:27 It's a wild time. So the same way that we might say, like a USA flag might look weird on somebody because it's too patriotic. Dude, they're looking at LA, be like you fuckers are addicted to diabetic medicine. Pussies. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:30:40 Put it in your zins, dude. Let's fire up. Yeah, I don't know. And most of our, like, the military that protects our country or keeps things like, you know, will protect us if need be, they are, they have the American flag on their fucking uniform. So it's really weird to get people who are like against America. Like, why have we created a people that are against our own flag?

Starting point is 01:31:02 That's the fucking weird thing to me. It is bizarre. It's like being like, I fucking hate Arby's, but then you're doing workout in Arby's. Yeah, but you're wearing a big hat. Yeah. You know, it's like, where did that come from? Where do they get all this giant ass cowboy hat?

Starting point is 01:31:17 There's a comedian they used to have that joke. He was like, oh, do you think Arby's is just a, oh, do you think there's somebody who thinks Arby's is just a place where they sell big hats? God, that was an old joke, somebody had this. Look, do you ever, you know what Arby stands for? Arby's, roast beef. Yeah, Arby, that's why it's Arby's.

Starting point is 01:31:36 Isn't that crazy? It is cool. That's some shit that blows my mind more than it should. Oh, yeah, that's the kind of shit. People don't know who the seven the president was, but they know that. Right, it's like when you're a child and they do this got your nose and you're like hold the fuck on Yeah, but are slow down their brother. What are we doing here? Give me that back Yeah, when I found out our bees was our bees like recently. Yeah, I didn't know a pickle in the cucumber with the same thing to us 22

Starting point is 01:31:57 Oh, yeah, that is what your mind doesn't it nobody tells you that yeah, we're learning about volvos and goddamn sexual ed Charlie ranch remember when jolly ranchers came out? Dude, I was thinking about a... My God, you fucking remember it though. I might have been passed my... But do you remember, I mean, you got people... Because a candy had never lasted that long. No, I want to tell you that.

Starting point is 01:32:18 Before that they'd had fucking candies they'd had, meant and they'd had damn... Even when you break it down, it's still tough. Oh God, youints and they'd had damn. And dance, even when you break it down it's still tough. Oh God, you couldn't even break it down. You had to hire a man, the fucking almost chew on it for you a little bit and then put it back in your mouth. God, do you remember when a yogurt land came out? Not yogurt land, pinkberry.

Starting point is 01:32:39 Yeah, pinkberry had the world by the goddamn sack and a half. And what happened? It was tart yogurt. And I was like, what the fuck is this? Our brains couldn't comprehend it. It went under. I think there's still out there.

Starting point is 01:32:49 But like at the time, yeah, I saw them recently. Yeah, they're out there. But at the time, our brains were like, why is this ice cream tart in the world couldn't comprehend it? It was like Burger King chicken fries. Yeah, so goddamn good. And they were paying, we just had Brianna chicken fry on, actually. Oh nice. Yeah. Yeah, she's great.

Starting point is 01:33:08 Yeah, she's interesting. What do you mean? She's interesting. Boy, she's got them. Kids, boy, sorry. T-I-T didn't say it, but it was a part of me inside of me that said it. Sometimes there's a party that comes to the surface and he's like, guess what? I'm gonna say it.

Starting point is 01:33:24 It's a tip. It's like a fart and a jacuzzi. Is this workin' it's way comes to the surface and he's like, guess what, I'm gonna say it, it's tits. It's like a fart in a jacuzzi. Is this workin' it's way up to the surface? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well she got him done. Yeah, she did, boy, I freaking did one, dude. You give me fuckin' half hour in some of that Michelangelo clay or whatever.

Starting point is 01:33:36 I fuckin' put a third one on there. What's the nicest rack you've ever seen? Do you remember it? Let me think. Oh, I remember one time I made out with this lady in Raleigh, North Carolina, and her tits, they felt like a shit dippers, you know? Like poop dippers or whatever from a baby.

Starting point is 01:33:54 Like if you squeeze them and left them in a shape, they stayed in that shape. I like to repeat it. Yes. I honestly think we talked about that when I did this podcast the first time. Okay, that's unreal. That's crazy.

Starting point is 01:34:04 But that's how good they are. And that's how you know if people are like, man, are a few of the stories made up? That's how real it is. He can picture the tempered tits. I'll never forget it. And she still lives in a dorm, even though she was like 30 years old. So I'm like, what is going on here?

Starting point is 01:34:16 I remember in Dallas, a girl, this was like years and years ago, maybe like 2017, she DM me before the show. She goes, you can pour a chocolate sauce to my titties. And before I was getting off stage, I like hold up before I get out of here I remember this DM where's the chocolate sauce titty girl and she was like whoo And then we hooked up that night she had some Franz your bags on her and I'm talking age like fine. Why the great she DM me like maybe like six months ago

Starting point is 01:34:39 It's like thinking about you. I don't think about them God, but something like that like that's a DM where you're like I can't think about them. Damn. God. But something like that, like that's a DM where you're like, I can't not not answer this. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes it's cool if you have a chick just kind of lean off the bed and hang one tid off the bed. Man, like it's looking for an iPhone charger. I thought, yeah.

Starting point is 01:34:57 Yeah. Yeah. You think of you or a female, you'd have more ass and more rack. Dude, I think if I were a female, I would just... Probably wouldn't leave the house. I'd probably get nipples put onto my butt cheeks and just go all tits, no ass.

Starting point is 01:35:13 All tits, no ass. Yeah. Wow. That would... All tits, no ass. You had that just unlimited tits, right? Kinda like it because it's a, it comes around. You know, like up front front

Starting point is 01:35:25 of a pair of people, yeah, whatever, that's just theavana, whatever your name is. And then you walk away and they're like, oh, damn, I've misspoken. You know, because up front, you're just chilling. Then on the back, you got that hemi. If you saw that brawn, somebody's asked, you'd be like, my God, they're doing that well. It's like a Lamborghini got the engine in the back. Got that hemi up on those legs. I love that man. It's funny. It's cool that people haven't asked in tits man. I think. What do you got Zach? What's up in the news of it air for you? We were watching this video. This girl did a she recreated Kobe Bryant. She's an Asian woman. She changed her face to look like Kobe Bryant and it's pretty crazy.

Starting point is 01:36:03 She changed her face to look like Kobe Bryant and it's pretty well I'm gonna need to see that and then so there's debate is this blackface or not you tell me Yeah, I mean immediately yes, no you think I will say this this looks like a lot of the portraits that you've seen drawn of Kobe around town. Why? I haven't seen really many good portraits of Kobe, which is fucked up, given how great he was. Let's see here one more time.

Starting point is 01:36:39 This is like Kobe Bryant and Sam on Hollywood Boulevard. She looks like Charlemagne in like 20 years, I feel like. Do you think this is considered black face? Not to me, it's not. It might be considered lake or face. You know what I'm saying? Or Western conference face. But I don't think this is black. How do you, I mean, dude, this is,

Starting point is 01:37:01 I mean, how do you not run this past one person? Your Asian, dude. Some Asians don't even talk to each other, dude. If is, I mean, how do you not run this past one person? Your Asian, dude. Some Asians don't even talk to each other, dude. If you've been a China bro, it's 70 billion people not even talking to each other. That's crazy. It's unbelievable. I feel like that's how my brain works. It's like 70 million thoughts, but nobody's aligned.

Starting point is 01:37:17 Nobody's connecting, nobody's, you know, running a pass each other. What are people saying are they into this or not? I don't think so. I mean, first of all, it has 16 million views, 17 million views. I mean, if that's what you got to do to get those views, I mean, people are saying it's blackface. I mean, here's what I think.

Starting point is 01:37:31 She's gonna be on the Nugboard podcast tomorrow. Yeah. At a certain point, blackface was, can you show down a little? It was, they were doing it because they didn't, black people weren't allowed to be actors so they painted white people as black people. Oh, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:37:48 She's trying to look like Kobe, how else would she do it? Don't. And then someone said, I feel like she's just displaying her makeup art talent, black faces really a reach here. Yeah, maybe that's what I think just looks a little artistic.

Starting point is 01:38:00 I don't know, it kind of uncomforts me if a kid who really loves a black athlete can't be though. I mean, I guess you can just by having the jersey. Yeah, but like if they wanted to like because a kid if he has no malice in him and he's not trying to like do anything bad I don't know at a certain point Yeah, I think people if you have the Jersey people still get the gist Nobody's wearing Jessica be jersey and they're like, I don't believe you, they just pass them a can of paint

Starting point is 01:38:28 like, you know what to do. Yeah, mean it. But then here's the crazy part, there'd be some white people like, oh, you ain't fucking real bro, unless you paint yourself up. You know, they sing you know, they got to win. Yeah, they got, yeah, that's the thing.

Starting point is 01:38:41 You can't really win because there's always that party that's like, oh, there's always that part of black culture. It's like, oh, you ain't real enough, you know? Unless you go all the way in and then there's always that part of the culture, it's like, oh, this is too much, bro, you fucking using cultural appropriation. I think if she wanted, you just go half. She could just do half.

Starting point is 01:38:58 Yeah, there you go. You know, that way like, if somebody's like, that's offensive, she turns like this and like, what do you mean? And like, ah, but then the crowd that's like, oh, that's not folding a boom. Yeah. Kind of like a flounder.

Starting point is 01:39:08 And she's Asian. If it were a white person, maybe it gets looked at a little bit differently. This person is an Asian person. They don't know what they're doing. She doesn't know Kobe Bryant passed away. Yeah. She probably doesn't. And also, is this Kobe Bryant?

Starting point is 01:39:19 Let's look at this fucking person. It looks more like, maybe like Ron Arthas after he's been doing a lot of equinox. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that. It looks more like, I mean, yeah, the more I look at this, just doesn't look anything like Kobe Bryant. Right.

Starting point is 01:39:36 This looks like, have you ever seen a good Kobe Bryant mural? No, they're all the lawful. Right. That pissed me off. I should've been here. Yeah, this looks like, yeah, I think you're right on the

Starting point is 01:39:45 run or test it even. I don't even know who this is like a black guy that would work like in an office or something like a FedEx brother. Do you ever see the guy who pin out a GM and he's wearing all Michael Jordan head to toe? It kind of looks like a little bit. It should be a video. He's like who pin out like a 24-fin his. What else we got, that for the news? California is about to ban skittles. Really? Other candies, yeah. This is interesting.

Starting point is 01:40:12 Yeah, apparently they're kind of toxic. I fucking love skittles. Those skittles, pez, hot tamales. This is gonna happen. And many more popular candies. The California Assembly last week are one legally passed Assembly Bill 41818 sending the legislation over the state Senate Long gonna ban tech thought I don't really give a fuck with their ban. Skittles is just funny

Starting point is 01:40:32 It's like we have vape flavored skittles hot tamales to those Skittles are vapes, yeah, well, I guess they have linked their link to cancer. That's a big thing Skittles, I mean allegedly, that's why this is all kind of Is this our generation's putting Coke and Coke back in the day? You know, like was there cancer in the Skittles and they knew it or whatever? Yeah, well if, I mean, I think I'm like,

Starting point is 01:40:56 this is just something's just change over time, you know? If the chemicals are bad, then they're bad, who knows? What's the Sk this little slogan? Taste the rainbow. Oh, well, we should get rid of that first before we do anything. Yeah, especially on the heels of all the, remember all the bud light stuff,

Starting point is 01:41:13 which has been so crazy for the imagine. Are they doing like a camo can to like combat it? Yeah. I think they just do both. It's camo rainbow, a rainbow camo, and just they fucked the, it looks like a four lo local honestly. Yeah, I'm Missed a good for a local it's crazy how many but then also the craziest thing about the budlight thing is all they did was

Starting point is 01:41:33 Send that girl some beers right or that guy Dylan, I don't even know what happened. They send him some beers You know like sometimes like brands will send you stuff and they'll put your name water to try to make it personalized You so that you'll share it or make it a social thing. That's what they did. That's all they did. Yeah. But Mulvaney took it and said, oh, they made me a spot like,

Starting point is 01:41:54 Mulvaney's the one who blew it up. All they did was send a little gift thing. What did the camera... I'm like, they paid Mulvaney or not. What did the can look like? Or that was the one. That's it right there. Oh, wait. I didn't know what the can look like? Or that was the one. That's it right there. Oh wait.

Starting point is 01:42:05 I didn't know what the can look like. For some reason I thought it would, what did, huh. Yeah, that's it. They just put her picture on a can. So she then blows it up and then people, you know. Now it's just so much bigger than what the, like it didn't believe.

Starting point is 01:42:18 Unbelieveable. The joke is so much bigger than what it actually was. The only person it really behooved was, um, term. Yeah,, I mean, I'm doing probably made a lot of money off this and we'll just a lot of exposure. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I believe that he's a gay male that's looking for clout, but I don't know if that definitely is just something that I believe and I could be wrong. What do you think is that? Um, yeah, I don't know. I mean, the thing is people thought that this was being distributed nationwide.

Starting point is 01:42:49 And it wasn't. And it wasn't. So it's kind of a perfect example of like misinformation. Like people didn't take any time to like read into it further. It's just the joke was so much bigger than the actual story that now like anytime you see somebody drinking a butt like you're like, oh, better keep my pants on.

Starting point is 01:43:02 Yeah. Or if I'm down for, you know, like, the joke was fun now too, you could buy somebody a Bud Light if it's getting late and you think they're in brigade. Yeah, I mean, now it's like, it's past the point of the controversy when I was just like funny at Bud Light.

Starting point is 01:43:14 Has nothing to do with Dylan. It's more just like, like it's funny, like send a group of dudes on a bachelor party at a Buffalo Wild Wings week, hey, can we send around a Bud Light? And then they get in and they're like, oh, what? Guess we got to suck each other off now.

Starting point is 01:43:26 Just started going after it. Like it's funny or now, then the actual, the controversy I think. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree. It's almost just funny now. It's like a funny thing. It's exactly.

Starting point is 01:43:37 Crazy how quickly something goes from being like real serious to funny now. It's like, it used to be that that probably would have taken two years. Well now it's just the name Bud Light is a joke in the same way that the name like Kyle or like Chad or some of these big or Karen, these big meme names are just forever implanted that. Like, so now you'll never think of a Bud Light again the same.

Starting point is 01:43:57 Yeah. And we'll be 93 in our chairs with dementia be like, fucking Bud Light. Yeah. Just talking to a brick wall, you know. Benjamin's gay. You know, we're just laughing our laps in our head of thoughts. What else we got Zach?

Starting point is 01:44:09 What else is going on? I can tell you this, last night I was at a fireplace in a moth landed on the corner, and then he just flew directly to the fire. I was like, you were looking for the wrong light, brother. His time was, I saw him laying, I was like, damn, he's awfully close to the fire. He contemplated it, maybe like four seconds, and then just be lined right into the flames.

Starting point is 01:44:28 Wow. It's kind of sad, but honestly, I respect it. Yeah, well, I think it's a lot of people how like addiction happens. It's like you want something, you feel, it makes you feel warm. It's a good light and you're like, I'm going all the way here. Yeah, think about that. He's like, I'm fucking done with light bulbs. Give me the brightest, hottest shit you can find. I want all this smoke. Yeah, God. Kind of respect him a little bit. I might get him tattooed on my bicep.

Starting point is 01:44:51 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Mothy. Dude, I saw one time I was in church and a woman, a butterfly came and landed on her face at church. Really? And she said, oh, that's my son. He visits me every year. He died this time, like seven years ago.

Starting point is 01:45:04 Wow. So it was at this crystal cathedral in Orange, California, and the doors of the church open, like the whole wall opens, so that butterflies, so that like you can just, the organ is like right there, and it's just beautiful. It's always nice. That's awesome. And this butterfly came all the way in and landed right in her cheek.

Starting point is 01:45:23 And she said, that's my son. He died in a motorcycle accident and he comes to visit me Well, I always start tearing up on spot. It was crazy, man I got some pictures with her. I got a good looking teeth. Oh really? Yeah It's a bit just like this and she just got the butterfly ever come to you at all or no It kind of hall it meant it stayed on her face for probably about 15 minutes and then it left It's cool. Be beautiful, I became boys. Just left right out the same way it came in. Yeah, it could be interesting.

Starting point is 01:45:48 Yeah, videos like that would make me tear up also. Yeah, when's the last time you teared up, you think? Oh, man, probably recently. Yeah. You know, just a lot of stuff in my personal life and just kind of just figure. I'm just trying to figure out like what and who I am, I guess. Like I know very much career wise, but I think internally, you know, like I'm 30 and I'm like, I don't have a family,

Starting point is 01:46:08 I don't really know what's going on. And it's like, sure, I can drown my life out with work. And, you know, I can always be like, add more tour dates, make more videos. But it's like, it's those moments where I'm sitting still. I'm like, what, what am I doing this for? Who, who, I wanna share this with, you know? Damn.

Starting point is 01:46:23 I don't know, not to get deep, but I know. But I know. It's important. Probably that, or if I see a video this with, you know? Damn. I don't know, not to get deep, but I know. It's important. Probably that, or if I see a video of somebody coming home from the war and surprising the son of the baseball field, that'll give me. Dude, come in home. Every time that, or it's like the Wiz Khalifa song, see you again.

Starting point is 01:46:41 Those always made me cry. Those are, those man. Or like the dad walks into the baseball, or to the classroom. I watch those anytime I need to adjust my feelings. Those are the videos that I go to. Those always make me feel, just feel, I just feel right there.

Starting point is 01:46:56 You know, those are great. You know what videos I love watching for the opposite reasons? Is stolen on Valor videos? You ever seen those in the airport? When the guys like, Phil, when he was like, Oh, you served too? Nice, where'd you serve at? And the guys like, Oh, St. Peter the airport when the guys like film and it was like oh you serve too nice where did you serve that and the guys like

Starting point is 01:47:06 uh same Petersburg and the guys like really because if you do it on your left shoulder starts going at them and then he's like son valor the guy just trying to get a free cinema on the airport I fuck got it so it's such a loser thing to do oh it's the when people do stolen valor they shouldn't make them have to do a week of boot camp oh that's like that's their punishment. Dude, the videos are just so funny because it's like, what are you trying to do with? They always look like you got at the top left. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:32 It's always at a restaurant too. Restart are the airport. Because they're trying to get like a free meal or something. Oh yeah, that's what they're using it for. Yeah, that are like respect or looking like bored the plane first. That's just too many hacks, man. If you're hacking the world this much, you gotta shut it down, bro.

Starting point is 01:47:46 Yeah, it's just, I don't know, man. There's better ways to do it. Like don't wear, like, I would just wear a T-shirt so it's like organ donor. Somebody will help you out. Yeah, that's a good point. And that's not stolen valor if you aren't. Maybe it is.

Starting point is 01:47:59 The craziest stolen valor is when you see somebody wearing like a Travis Kelsey Jersey. And they're not, it's like, and they're not Travis God. And they're not a chance, bro. But the videos are always so funny because they, you can tell they did their research up to a certain point. But they're not even as healthy as Randy Travis. Yeah, right.

Starting point is 01:48:18 Bring up Randy Travis. Yeah, I just, they're so funny to me. And God bless Randy Travis. He's an amazing singer. He has a disability. What is it called? He's got something meant. Oh, I don't know that.

Starting point is 01:48:32 Lu, uh, was he got Lou down? Lou Garry's? Maybe Lou Garry's, yeah. Or somebody Garry's. What's he got? He had a stroke. Oh, he had a stroke. Damn.

Starting point is 01:48:42 My bad. But he's got, yeah. Yeah, but if you see somebody in a rant, yeah, it's true. Damn, my bad. But he's got, yeah. Yeah, but if you see somebody in a rant, yeah, in a Travis Kelsey Jersey, and they're not even Travis Kelsey, they're not, yeah, and they're not even Randy. They're not even like, you know, they're not even Travis Pastrona. Yeah. And he's deceased, didn't he?

Starting point is 01:48:58 No, no, he's a lot. Yeah, he's, he's very. Yeah, so they, so anyway, that kind of stuff to me is some real stolen value. What makes you laugh or what makes you cry? Well, let's do both sides. Well, I mean, what you're saying, I think about not knowing what's going, like what am I doing this for?

Starting point is 01:49:15 Fuck, dude, that shit can. I find my emotions get really high like that and then I kind of call myself down. It doesn't matter what, if I don't know the answers today, that's fine. And then I can like walk myself through, but it starts off high then I like walk myself through it. Yeah. And then I saw that moth go strange with that fire. I was thinking about this last night actually. I saw a moth go right into the fire. I was like, damn, maybe that's I don't know. Everybody has their own journey. Whoa, whoa. That moth was not

Starting point is 01:49:42 feeling it. But yeah, I don't know. I think that I usually feel that and then I can walk myself through it. Yeah, that's fine. Well, it can keep going. That's the thing. If you don't get an idea of what you want to do then whatever you're doing will just continue. I notice that for myself.

Starting point is 01:49:57 It's like I work all the time. I mean, last night I'm messaging Zach at Frickin Midnight about something, you know? It just can't shut the brain off. I'm the same way. And I'm so, so thankful that I knew what I wanted to do at a young age. Like the fact that I'm more lost in life than I am with career.

Starting point is 01:50:13 You know. It's a blessing because the other way can be just, it's just a different way, but it's, I mean, it's always greener. It's like you have the perfect family relationship but you're fucking, you know, you work at H&R Block and you're like, oh, why want it to be a balloon animal artist. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:50:26 And now you're in the bathroom blowing up goddamn Trojans making snakes. Oh, yeah, drug mule and food. Yeah. So, I don't know, I don't think I ever have to know what's really going on. You just take a day by day. Oh, yeah, dude, I think sometimes, bro.

Starting point is 01:50:39 But I notice if you don't have an idea or get an idea, at some point you'll just continue. Like, I just continue to work. My life continues to be kind of the same cycle. Some of it is because like, just being late to figuring out what's going on with myself, you know, where as now as I do start to look a bit, a little bit more like I want a family,

Starting point is 01:50:57 or I'm alone by myself, and it's like, man, after a while, this gets boring. Right. Or you wanna have somebody to share like a nice time with, you know? But then you have a family You go to Disneyland. I was sitting some dude swinging on you Yeah, and then you're like God, I wish I was fucking single. So there's no You know, there's no perfect way there isn't and that's what I think you find out just time

Starting point is 01:51:15 You just find out what you like and what you don't like and you try to tend towards you like as much as you can Yeah, do you think you would ever leave your wife and children? Definitely Respect would you ever leave your wife and children? Definitely. Respect. Would you ever leave your wife and kids? I believe that if I don't want to, I'm gonna say that right now. I do not wanna leave you guys. Wherever they are.

Starting point is 01:51:39 Yeah. And I, did I write postcards to my kids like that? I like years ago I write postcards Even though I didn't have them where would you send them just to my own address and like save them for my kids from when I get older whatever That's crazy, right. Did you have their names already picked out or it'd be like insert name? I can't remember if I put their names first. I think I just put dear name here. Yeah Little Vaughn something you know, yeah, little Vaughn go here. Yeah. Uh... Von, a little Von, something, you know? Yeah, a little Von, good truth.

Starting point is 01:52:08 Yeah, I can't remember, unborn, or something, like, fucking weird. Yeah, yeah. But because I think part of me always wanted, probably, to have children, but I could never see any way how I was going to get there from where I was, where I was at. Well, what happens with me? I was with a couple recently, and they've been together for five years, and they got a kid on the way.

Starting point is 01:52:25 And hearing them talk made me realize how far away I am from where they are in life. You know, they're like, oh, we're getting married next year, we just had a kid. And like the way they would talk, like, she would start talking, and then he'd be like, do you want, should I finish the story? Because you're telling it wrong.

Starting point is 01:52:38 I'll finish the story. Then they're like going back, they're like arguing with each other, and they bring it to you. And like, I was so disconnected to where those two were at in life of a family. And if a family was like a pie chart, like they had so much more pie than me,

Starting point is 01:52:52 like I had just a little sliver. Yeah, you were more all a mode, huh? Yeah, I was on the side. I was a little raspberry on the side, hanging out. Well, I think, but also for some people, there's different paths, you know? And it's hard to battle with whatever your path has been.

Starting point is 01:53:06 You know, it's like, I felt like when I was a kid, like I just didn't have a lot of affection and stuff at home, but then as an adult, like you're saying, I got a lot more like affection is from strangers, you know? So it's almost like, you just never really know what the path for life is. It's gonna be true. You know, you might like Robert Downey Johnson, or whatever, just had a kid at 79 years old, right?

Starting point is 01:53:25 Didn't Ero Robert the Nero. Did it really? Yeah, or whatever? We backed up down there. I know you just had a kid, man. Wow. Yeah Robert. Well, how old your dad was old? My dad was 70. Yeah, so you were doing so he was following the footsteps of your father. Yeah, I mean my dad I mean in this is nine years later. That's crazy. I remember my dad would tell me stories about kids in his village, like eating dirt. They were starving. Yeah, he knows all the village is crazy. There he is right there. He's still pumping, is that his wife?

Starting point is 01:53:53 And he's hammering on that mixed jam, homie. Yeah, look at that, his lady. Oh, yeah. Gang, maybe damn. I feel like after he busts when he does, like he like hops onto the glasses, and like, pulses on like a soap t-shirt. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:54:07 What's the, oh, that's good. What's the best post-ejaculate move? I would say finger pistols are a gander flip into a hot tub. Oh, you get the flip where you run back when you, what is that, that's a forward facing back flip? That's crazy, you know. If you come and then just do a gander flip

Starting point is 01:54:26 into a body of water, you can knock them. And that sun is addicted to vape early. Oh, dude. Here's a crazy thing. These days, somebody who can do a forward backflip, like you're saying, is looked at more prestigiously than somebody who's serving in the military. Oh, dude, I mean, if I see you do that,

Starting point is 01:54:43 you're in my will. I don't give a fuck. You earn part of what I earn forever. You're more important than my agent and manager. Well, it's so crazy how one little thing that somebody can do. Yeah, what's the craziest thing? I think Oh, one thing that's crazy is if you say I'm one of the rest of me go hide in the apartment. It's just anywhere. Yeah. Just in the pantry, eating the biscuits. Well, you hide and that's a go, look for you, like, oh, it's hiding.

Starting point is 01:55:08 I was flungers. This is a fucking psycho. I'm definitely taking a plane B after this person. Yeah, and then you forgot it's your apartment and they just leave. Oh, yeah. And then for seven hours, what do you think, what do you think a girl get the most turned on?

Starting point is 01:55:18 Like, what move do you think you could do that would like, she'd be, oh my god, the Theos. So much more attractive, I thought. Like, what's a move besides hiding? I don't know, I don't have a lot of strong moves. I think I like the Wi-Fi. Maybe kissing on the neck a little bit, I like. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:55:33 On you or you to her? Me to her, I like kissing on a woman neck, probably. Unless you got too much perfume on there. Oh yeah. God dang, some ladies put that shit on, bro. Right. Your tongue goes numb. You got fettin' all on your neck.

Starting point is 01:55:49 Oh damn, bro. Some lady, that shit is too much. That's a little headless. But I like it the next day if the pillow kind of smells like her. That's some shit where I'm like, that's wife. That's wifey stuff. That's how like, I met up with my ex a couple of months after we had broken up. In that scent was the same scent and it brought back so many memories.

Starting point is 01:56:12 It's just like, it's just a so-shit, you know? Yeah, we had a chick at our school that used to go to school and she put that orange bathroom cleaner. You know the smell of it in all the bathrooms? Fabulous, huh? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 01:56:25 It was just very generic orange bathroom cleaner. I think it was called out too. Generic orange bathroom cleaner. Yes, something just like that, a gov. Yeah, it was a government scent. She put that shit on. Oh, AJ, and I would smell it.

Starting point is 01:56:38 No, no, this is way too commercialized. A lot of that, ugh. And she'll put it on. Yeah. Wow, maybe that was it up one. Smelling like bottom of one and to the left. Something like that, eco-worn gel. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:56:52 She put that fucking eco-worn on at school. I like the center of the pink soap they got in the schools. That stuff's good. That stuff's nice. It tastes like like like like robotuss and cheese. Oh yeah, that not supposed to taste it But I used to huff a lot of things as a child God yeah, there you go right there get that one you yeah, yeah, that's a stuff for looking at

Starting point is 01:57:18 Yeah, that would like to send to that it reminds me of the dentist office, but like in a good way advantage chemicals It was cold dude they did not put any fucking work into that, man. Like it's a contest, dude. Advantage chemicals. You just knew you're gonna lose. That's out of crime scene. You poured that over a dead body, and the body just disintegrates. Oh, that's that Dexter sauce, I mean, that's all that is. What other news we got? There's a ton of stories on there.

Starting point is 01:57:34 Can I go people quick? Yeah, let's go piss, man. Take a break. What else? You've been dating? What have you been doing? Because last time we saw each other, we went to young gravy's, remember?

Starting point is 01:57:42 Oh, yeah, yeah. I started with young gravy. I was seeing it later at that point. Yeah, I'm kind of just trying to figure things out right now. I'm really just filming a special in July. So I'm really just trying to focus on everything and just comedy really later right now. But it's hard, because like you said,

Starting point is 01:57:57 you're like, man, I like going on days is fun. It's fun kind of building up chemistry with people, seeing if it's working or not and whatnot. But sometimes, yeah, you just like, you have a show and you meet a really cool chick. You're like, you know, chemistry with people seeing if it's working or not and whatnot, but Sometimes, yeah, you just like you have a show and like you meet a really cool chick. You know, all right Let's feel this out like sometimes you don't even want to date But somebody is brought into your life. You know, oh, let me explain. Let me see what's going on here Do you have a process for not wasting your time and their time a little bit? Oh, I think I'm getting I don't know I

Starting point is 01:58:23 Like you do a call first, usually you wouldn't do anything like that, or you just kind of, no, I wish, do you? I know some people like FaceTime before, but that's so weird. It feels weird, but if it saves everybody the time, that's true. I don't know if I have a plan, I should have a better plan.

Starting point is 01:58:41 I need to start to have a plan, I think if I wanna get a wife and family. Not that I can choose what's gonna happen, because you know what's gonna happen. But I think I should have at least like some, a little bit of a pattern I'd like to follow to help myself. Yeah, kind of feel it out, just like you can kind of feel it like through texting

Starting point is 01:58:58 what type of person that is. But like something we've talked to, they got it all mapped out. I don't have like that, they're like, first date you go to drinks. It's an easy in, it's an easy out. Second date, park, free, cheap, get out, third date. Then you have food.

Starting point is 01:59:11 It's like, it's all mapped out. I kind of just feel it out. Yeah. Like, I'll take a girl to a steakhouse, form it, it's in. I'll be like, we don't need to be here. Yeah. You know, or she'll say something.

Starting point is 01:59:20 She's like, oh, we could have just watched the sunset. You're like, that's just free. You're like steak. Mistake. God damn. You're like, that's just free. You're like steak. Mistake. God damn, send this back. It's medium rare. Send me back. I don't know if they have a process.

Starting point is 01:59:31 I don't know. I don't really know what's going on in life. A lot of the times really. Yeah, I think it's, well, it's just interesting, especially these days, I think we're all so like on social media. We're all on like, we're constantly entertained by stuff, right?

Starting point is 01:59:45 Correct. There's so much entertainment. You can turn on your phone at any point. You can see an amazing goal being scored. Someone battling something severe in their life. Somebody doing a go-fun, somebody lost their arms, legs, and head, I saw the other day. Some guy who lost his arms, legs, and head.

Starting point is 02:00:03 You can also watch a man getting head in a thing. Yeah, and you can do go funny for both. It's crazy how much stimulation your brain is throwing at you all at once. It's the best of everything. Right, all in a few minutes, but then you shut it off and you come back to whatever your regular life is.

Starting point is 02:00:18 And usually I think in that time when your brain would have been kind of processing what's going on in your own life. Because your brain's kind of a process, right? It wants to organize things. Your brain wants to organize things. Like that's it's like, modus operandi. Like that's what it does.

Starting point is 02:00:33 It like notices patterns, it organizes things. So you have the best most comfortable way to live and survive, right? That's like what is whole job is. So I think usually when we're relaxing or resting or giving our brain time to kind of process and we're not just constantly entertained. I think that's what it is.

Starting point is 02:00:50 Then we are able to have more things figured out. Whereas I think now when we're just doing constant entertainment, you're not getting as much figured out like in the background. You've never given your brain a chance to openly think. That's why I turned the books. It's like in the library, you see all given your brain a chance to openly think. That's why I've turned the books. It's like in the library, you see all the stack of books that were returned.

Starting point is 02:01:08 You're like, damn, the book I really like could be in there, but I don't even know. Yeah, we're not giving our brain a chance to return. Your books, we're just fucking opening up millions of fucking books. There's not anything on the shelf anymore. Exactly. The books.

Starting point is 02:01:20 And the scroll books of the shelf and they fall right off. Yeah, yeah. Do we, that's someone is shooting up in in the fucking, in the corner, like, long division hasn't been talking to in a long time. That boy turned into a ketamine ASAP, down by the Hudson. But that's really kind of a need to announce, I didn't think about that before, but that's kind of what it's like. It is.

Starting point is 02:01:37 Because all those thoughts are in your brain, but you're just, you're distracting it with social media. And I mean, it is wild. And that's why like, people fucking lose their mind, you know, on a plane before you can't take off and there's no like, there's no like Wi-Fi yet or you can't open up your laptop. The dark 11, they call it that dark 11 minute.

Starting point is 02:01:54 Oh, do they? Yeah, but that's, who you are in that 11 minutes is who you really are. Who you are when your phone is dead, that's who you really are. When you're just sitting there at an i-hop with a dead phone and you gotta make eye contact with the lady with one eye, I'll take the flap jack,

Starting point is 02:02:09 and what the fuck happened there? But like those moments, it's like I did that last night, when I was sitting by the fireplace, I didn't have my phone, and I just wanted to, I just wanted to, I've been traveling so much, I kinda like lost my own narrative a little bit, and I just was like what what is important right now What do I want to focus on and I just stared into the fire and it's just like oh I had every thought that I've been neglecting. It felt nice

Starting point is 02:02:35 It's kind of like when people do mushrooms. It's like they those thoughts get brought to the surface Yeah, I'm trying to think one of my favorite times on mushrooms ever I like being on a bird scooter a little buzzed. Oh, I know that's illegal, but it feels fucking... Is it illegal? I feel like the only work if you have a buzz. Dude, I remember when we were as children, they had we did some LSD or mushrooms, right?

Starting point is 02:02:59 Or... One of the two. Or LSD. And we went to the wallfiles, and it was the first time we'd seen a gay dude, right, or a ledge gay or whatever. Out wallfiles? Yeah, and general.

Starting point is 02:03:12 I can't remember, but it was the first time we'd seen a gay dude like this close to like a kitchen, right, and it was, they had, it was like the first time we'd seen a gay dude with a menu. Okay. So, my buddy started just laughing. So, we were just on drugs. We were laughing.

Starting point is 02:03:34 The guy thought that he was choking, right? Because of how he was laughing. He was laughing so much. He was almost spitting up. So he starts doing the Heimlich maneuver on my buddy. A dude that we just thought was gay. So now the whole restaurant is like, what's going on? Let's don't say restaurant. This is where like this is normal waffle house

Starting point is 02:03:55 behavior. This is where people in an art town like they had a long bridge near our town. It was the longest bridge in the world for a while. And it dropped off one end of it was by our town. And the so so the police, everybody they called on that bridge drunk drive and they would drop off at this wallfiles. So it was like a fucking... That was your drunk tank, was a wallfile house? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:04:15 I mean, if I was drunk, I would definitely stay. So it was like a boo. It was actually smart. Yeah. It was a boo zoo for fucking just, just derelicts, you know. So anyway, this, but this alleged gay dude is just fucking hum, like in my buddy who's not, he's already coughed up and he's still going on.

Starting point is 02:04:31 Oh, no, he's good, he's good, he's good. This turn out, make up. And I'm like, is this dude really at EMT or is this dude just having like kind of like a fit of gay or whatever, you know? But he was pumping on my home pretty good. Waffle house, you walk in there sober, but you sit in that chair long enough, you feel a little bit, you don't know what drug it is.

Starting point is 02:04:47 If it's an upper or a downer just life, but you feel that. Oh, it's that fucking margarine buzz, homie. I fucking love Waffle House. There was a donut shop in my hometown where if you used to flash them your tits, you get free donuts. I never did it for me, but they did have.

Starting point is 02:05:02 Gotta love that. But like, and I was always wondering, like, like, did they do a buy size love that. But like, I was always wondering, like, like, did they do a buy size? Like, what if you showed your tits and like, all right, here's a donut hole, I'll be like, damn. I don't fake tits for no reason. But yeah, like, if you had some knockers,

Starting point is 02:05:15 they'd be like, here's a bear claw. It's kind of crazy. Oh, that was the original girl who's gone wild. God, I'd show my, God, I don't know what I'm gonna do for a bear claw when I was a kid. So good. In our neighborhood, if you had respect for something you take your shirt off, God, I don't know what I'm gonna do for a bear call when I was a kid. So good. In our neighborhood, if you had respect for something you take your shirt off,

Starting point is 02:05:28 what is that? It's just like a thing, it's almost very native, I think you would. Alpha? Yeah, or no, not alpha, just like you wanted them to, like it was a sign of respect. Like a standing ovation, but for your body. Yeah, because I think back in the day,

Starting point is 02:05:41 we didn't have clothes on all the time. That's true. Who invented clothes? Can you look it up? Some fucking idiot probably. Yeah, that's what I was saying. You wanna see less tit? Unless it was like a parent, then I get it, but like,

Starting point is 02:05:58 yeah, the Neanderthals. Oh, Ronnie Pants did it, huh? The first known humans to make clothing, Neanderthal man survive from about 200,000 BCE to about 30,000, wow, 170,000 years. Did they do it because they're colder? They were just too horny. During this time, I think we tried celibacy

Starting point is 02:06:16 and he's like, I've got to curl those nips up, son. During this time, the Earth's temperature rose and fell dramatically creating a series of ice ages throughout the northern areas. When was the first clothing make? Can you go down to that? Who was the first one?

Starting point is 02:06:27 200,000 BCE, that's what they said. Okay. And what was it? Can we look and see what it was? It got to be like a leaf. The first clothes were made from natural elements, animal skin and fur, grasses and leaves and bones and shells. It was often draped or tied.

Starting point is 02:06:45 However, simple needles made out of animal bone provided evidence of son, leather and fur garments from at least 30,000 years ago. Oh, well. Did they even have these? Yeah, I'm trying to think if you could stunt back then, you think you could. 100% I think so.

Starting point is 02:06:59 How do you roll up? When do you roll up? Not in the middle of the day, it's hot as hell, right? Cause somebody's in a cave, like you have to. Like when he flex in it, probably if I was, you know what I would do, I'm gonna go get some water, right go to the well, no clothes, not come back with the water and the clothes,

Starting point is 02:07:18 and they'd be like, oh my God, I'd be like, oh yeah, oh this, oh the water, the outfit, you know like a little like subtle like, oh which one, which one's dripping, you know? Which one got that water shotty? Who went now? The town came in? I don't know.

Starting point is 02:07:32 When would you do it? I don't know, that's a good question, bro. I think if you roll in around dinner with a special deal, like a little dessert or a little, yeah, for dessert. Yeah, fruit or something, you bring a fucking apple they've never seen. Everybody's smashing, bro. And dude, back dessert. Yeah, fruit or something. You bring a fucking apple they've never seen. Everybody's smashing, bro.

Starting point is 02:07:47 And dude, back in the day, there was no way to let people know you were happy except to probably jerk off. You think? Oh, I'm sure if you brought fingers. Or like the fuck's it called? Kmart? How are glyphics?

Starting point is 02:08:00 No, do you think? Somebody, what does it think? Maybe if you're stuck in a room, you're stuck in a cave, right? You're in there by fire and somebody brings an apple and you've never fucking seen one. You take a bite of it? Oh, that would do things to me.

Starting point is 02:08:14 I still feel that way. A cold granny smith, I would take that over sex a lot of days. Cold granny smith, a little bit of peanut butter on it. Come on now. She'll never leave you on red. Do you DM a lot of girls that you think are attractive or you don't think you do well? I usually wait until people DM me.

Starting point is 02:08:32 Cause I'm so scared of rejection. That I have sent a DM to a hot chick that I thought was pretty cute or something. And it fucks with my ego. Because if I hit them up and they don't respond, then I'm like, oh, all right Maybe I'm just invisible and who knows she maybe is dating somebody or she's not into the super sexy buff guys like me Like who knows what the fly is yeah, but what about you? Do you I sent let me think I sent Bruce Willis is darling his daughter's a DM one time

Starting point is 02:08:59 And she didn't write me back But how did that did that do anything for your ego or we just like? No, I saw her at a party and I'd seen her before. I just thought she was just, what did she like? She was really neat and had just, I saw rejection for me. And I, uh, you know, visually, I was very, you know, I just,

Starting point is 02:09:16 I don't know what you said. Stimulated by her, she didn't say anything. No, what did you say? I said, oh, good evening. Um, what? I said, oh, good evening. There's bugs in here. I said, oh, good evening. I said, oh, good evening, those bugs in here. I said, oh, good evening.

Starting point is 02:09:28 All right, what you saying? Oh, damn, he's got a lot of him. I should have went through the catalog. Oh, yes. I didn't know yet. I had a- Somebody will get back to you. Rumor.

Starting point is 02:09:39 Yeah. Yeah. That's her name, rumor. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, beautiful. I was, you know, attractive lady. I don't know her that well, but she just had, uh, uh, I just saw her somewhere and, yeah, so then I said her and Dan, but, but that's okay. It's like, you know, that's life.

Starting point is 02:09:54 What are you gonna do? It is. And you don't know why they didn't respond or whatever. Oh, she married her dad has been sick. She also may have zero interest in me. She may, uh... Not even. You don't know. Yeah, it could be anything, dude.

Starting point is 02:10:07 You're basically just throwing, you're just wishing into the world. That's really what it is. Yeah, and it's kind of for like a date or get to know somebody. So I don't know. That's pretty, that's okay though, right? Who are the people you're dating?

Starting point is 02:10:21 Are the people you kind of meet out and about? Or are these, you know? Let me think. Um, a gal that I met at a comedy show. Okay. But the tough thing is, yeah, you start to look at your schedule. You start to look at that's like, you start to look at your own ambitions.

Starting point is 02:10:37 Yeah. Like, you know, David Spadenar trying to get that movie done. And not to name drop, but people know that. And that's what we've been working on. And so it's like, it's awesome. Well, if I have to go do that, how long does that take? And then, you know, people keep at, or I wanna go tour more.

Starting point is 02:10:51 So that's probably gonna be the rest of this year and next year. Yeah, I feel insane when the girls, like we should get drinks on some time. I'm like, yeah, are you free in four months? You're like sick. She's like, no. And if I am, I'm dating somebody else. But in some weird way, you're like,

Starting point is 02:11:06 okay, that's when I'm like here or something. Do you ever do a chocolate sundays at the life factory? They book you for a first impression, but it's like two and a half years before. They're like, are you available in 2048? And you're like, yeah. If I'm not dead, I'll be there for my three minutes. But I remember like 2015, I signed up for it.

Starting point is 02:11:23 And thank God it took so long. So I was trash then, probably slightly less trash when I did it, but like ended up doing well and you got past and everything, but it was like, it was like a two and a half year wait. It's just so funny to be like, are you available for this? You're like, huh? Who is playing for that?

Starting point is 02:11:39 Oh, so I'm gonna be enlisted for that, my bad. Yeah, that's the future, man. The future is so weird because it's like, we know it exists, but we don't. The future is just like a moving walkway in the mall. It's just gonna keep going. No matter who's on it or who's off of it, it's just going. The future is so, because we know so much about it

Starting point is 02:12:03 based on what we know from the past, you know, like, are we assume that's the thing about the future? Yeah, it's this big bowl of assumption, you know, it's this fucking grandiose play of assumption. So we've assumed exactly what's going to have based on everything that's happened, but then that's the goal. I think that's the dope-ass thing that the future can do, right? If the future is a fucking real vibe, right?

Starting point is 02:12:25 If he's like, trick daddy or something? Oh, it's got a couple of tricks up at sleep. Yeah. You know, like, all flying cars. No, here's a flashlight. You're like, I'm not mad. It just kind of works. It's kind of better than a flying car.

Starting point is 02:12:37 You ever use a flashlight? Oh, nope. I never have. Have any of you ever used it? I have. It's sad. The post. The blank after it's full or whatever?

Starting point is 02:12:44 No. I have it sad. The post that blank after it's full or whatever. Was that crazy or whatever? No. My litter robot from my cat does that though. Oh, it does? Yeah, after I come into the litter robot. No, but it's the post nut regret is insane because you have to clean it out and you're like in a sink, there's dishes you don't wash in three weeks,

Starting point is 02:13:05 and you're just in there scrubbing away. You catch a glimpse of yourself in like an old fucking shiny cup looking at you. Did you take it to the cleaners or whatever? You could probably put it outside and like water it down. There has to be a place to mail it or something, you know? I think prison, they'd be pretty happy with that. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:13:24 Dude, we really want wanna get an inmate. If anybody knows an inmate or has a familial inmate, we would love to have a pin-pile, I think, in here. Oh, a pin-pile would be cool. And preferably, I would love for them. I don't wanna say what they're in for, but. Tell me, you know. I'll do, really.

Starting point is 02:13:41 Give me a clue. Yeah. We're gonna do a little mimeing there. Yeah, a little game of clue right there. I feel like it has to be a good crime, huh? Yeah, definitely. Cause I feel like even, I mean, I would just be so curious to even talk

Starting point is 02:13:54 to somebody who's ever murdered somebody. I know, I've always wanted to. And the crazy thing is we probably have, was the dude in a fucking juice shop. Hey, are you next in line? Oh yeah, cool, this guy's killed somebody. Yeah. You go first. Have you ever cool. This guy's killed somebody. Yeah. You go first.

Starting point is 02:14:07 Have you ever talked to somebody that's killed somebody? Oh yeah, dude. I got a friend who killed somebody. On purpose? Hmm. I don't wanna say. Well, good. Legal reasons.

Starting point is 02:14:17 But he's, yeah. Honestly, and he said it's all, he said it's, it's awesome. Well, I think we know why he did it Why I don't know but like if you're like was it on accident and not and he said it was awesome I don't think any accidents are awesome. He said it was awesome now Now you have to know him and know what other stuff. I think he thinks is awesome Right, you have to have your own idea of what is awesome, you know.

Starting point is 02:14:45 You have to be like, you know, if you could be a stunning Steve Austin Finn, do you know what he said that? This is awesome, was that him? So I think there's a lot of elements that can go into that. Yeah, but is he in jail or no? He is. Or we don't get into that. Yeah, I don't want to snitch.

Starting point is 02:15:03 I don't want to snitch. I don't want to. I don't want him coming after me. There's all I'm saying. It was an accident. He's, he's vibing, you know. What else can we talk about? What else do we have in the news, that? A German surgeon was fired

Starting point is 02:15:18 because he had a janitor help with an amputation. Cause no one was available. That's healthcare, bro. Jamestress and fire people. They getting anybody. I saw something recently, maybe you can try this. There's a dude got fired at a hotel, a manager snuck into somebody's room and sucked their foot.

Starting point is 02:15:35 Mm-hmm. That was in Nashville, bring that up. Was that really? Yeah, Bubby. Did you talk about already, I know. No, never talked about it. This was in Nashville? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:15:44 Is that resignation living there for a couple of years now? Oh wow. I guess to this sort of nightmare. Let's go to the... Oh, that's somebody who's had a toe or two in his taste buds. Yeah, David Patrick Neal, three first names. 52 was arrested Friday after a hotel guest, Peter Brennan, a walk around 5 a.m.

Starting point is 02:16:04 March 30th of the final night manager, indulging his apparent foot fetish. Wow, what does this say he did? Brennan reportedly screamed when he found Neil sucking on his toes and immediately recognized him as one of the two hotel staff members who had been in his room the previous day to help him with his TV.

Starting point is 02:16:20 First of all, if you call a man from the front desk come help you with your TV. What are you, you're kind of asking for it. You're giving low key, you're giving low key gay, you're giving a lot of low key gay. You're giving a lot of like, oh, maybe you could come in and suck my toes because think about it, he was in his room,

Starting point is 02:16:35 oh my TV doesn't work, he's probably has his shoes off. The night manager is like, yeah, okay, what do you want to watch? Yeah. TNT, no, let me see them, TNT on feet. Yeah. Let me kind of sound like Dablin right there. Wiglin, he's pointing, oh, the remote's over there.

Starting point is 02:16:50 Yeah. Look, that's all it takes, man. What else does it say? Anything else, Zach? Let's see some more information, huh? If you got a jail for that, you're just horny camp. All my life, you just have that sense of security and that sense of peace, right?

Starting point is 02:17:02 It's not like you're camping and you have to kind of keep one eye open. You have a security that yours when you close your eyes, you feel like you're safe and you're protected and it was a complete violation. Who are you? Why are you in my room? It was almost like a dream.

Starting point is 02:17:15 Upon further investigation, Brennan and his attorney found that Neil had a lengthy rap she did included voluntary manslaughter conviction for shooting his roommate during a fight in 96. Well, the toe sucker shot someone. Yeah. So he's grown since then. Yes.

Starting point is 02:17:31 What would you do if you were sleeping in a hotel in Nashville, some of the secondary toes? I mean, look, I'll say this, it's hard to get a foot off. Okay, so maybe the dude is just really... He needed that. You know, as somebody who wasn't breastfed as a child and he just needed some suck. I think you gotta let him go for a little bit. Yeah, I would, cause what's gonna happen next?

Starting point is 02:17:53 Like where do you go from that? You know, what is your toenail gonna grow a little bit? I would, yeah, I would give him a few. I would do like two or three like, oh no, what are you doing? Cause then I could also see if I'm into it. Right. Cause you're already gonna assume you're already gonna make bank, you might as well dabble and see if you're three like, oh no, what are you doing? Cause then I could also see if I'm into it. Cause you're already gonna assume, you're already gonna make bank, you might as well dabble and see if you're into the, you know, the foot fantasies.

Starting point is 02:18:11 Trying to get anything like that to ever happen around us. You've got a, I walked into a room one night and there was a big guy sitting on the bed already. Pick this feet when I walked into my room, they gave me the wrong room. And how? Did you say anything? I just saw, I'm sorry, I didn't try.

Starting point is 02:18:28 I did that, backed out. Yeah. Respect to what he was doing, understood it, about 415 in the afternoon. I get it. Pick this toes. Yeah. But then again, if you were the night manager,

Starting point is 02:18:38 you would take that as a sign of flirtation. Oh, you're picking your toes when I'm here to fix your TV. Yeah. Well, now that's another thing. See, there's things that people take. Everybody's idea of what is flirtation is different, right? Uh-huh. So I think if you're in your room, you're chilling, a dude,

Starting point is 02:18:54 you're like, hey, something's wrong with the TV. He comes up and he's being even, say if that guy, the night manager guy, or the night manager guy's thinking in the media, of course, if you're a gay guy who like sucking on people's feet, and a guy calls you to his room, the first thing you're hoping in your head. Oh yeah. Well, also that's not this dude wants me to launch

Starting point is 02:19:12 all over his back. So to form watching porn, right? Hotel manager fixes TV and something else. Right. It's not too far down the pipeline. Not crazy at all. You might have taken some melatonin the night before,

Starting point is 02:19:24 still been a little off in the head. So I think, yeah, if some of, yeah. So some people they read signs wrong. Correct. Especially if you want the signs to be a certain thing. That's what's really interesting. Right. And dude, that's what like,

Starting point is 02:19:36 that's what like, with like rejection and dating and like, that's why I'm like, so like, I don't hit on women. I just kind of see if they like, come to me because I'm scared. Cause I'm going to a movie and I saw Jack as 2.5. In high school with his girl,

Starting point is 02:19:47 I thought I was vibing with. We sat in the middle of the day, Matt and I, you know, ballin' on a budget. And we like held hands during the movie. Afterwards I kissed her in front of her car, Pontiac. And I was, I was geeked. And she was driving? She could drive?

Starting point is 02:20:00 She had one of those, yeah. Wow. But when I got home, I remember, I was so excited. I was unloading the dishwasher because I was a chore of my mom who made me do. And then I got a text. I was like, hey, I always don't want to confuse you, but I always just thought it was more of a friend.

Starting point is 02:20:14 And I think about that to this day. Damn. So now, that's where my rejection for you has come from. It's like, you make that move. And she's like, oh, no, like, no, I totally thought you just as like a friend. And you're like, oh where my rejection for your scum from. It's like, you make that move. And she's like, oh no, like, I, no, I totally saw you just as like a friend and you're like, oh my bad, like I don't, I think just the embarrassment.

Starting point is 02:20:31 Yeah, fucks you up. Oh yeah, I remember, I mean, when I was really young, my mother rejected me so much that that kind of stuff really hangs over onto a lot of relationships, right? But I'm trying to think of what actual girls, yeah, some kids locked me in this one girl into a closet and they kept saying like, you need to kiss or whatever, right?

Starting point is 02:20:52 You want a girl? Huh, yeah. That's like the straightest thing you could do. Oh, it was insane, dude. So we didn't know what to do. So that was scary. They're like, what do you think you didn't know what to do? Yeah, they're like, you queers better make out

Starting point is 02:21:03 or we're gonna beat the fuck out of you, you know? And so I didn't. Well, you paying these people to say what to do? Yeah, they're like, you queers better make out or we're gonna beat the fuck out of you, you know? And so I didn't. Well, you paying these people to say that to you? Yeah, I guess. And we both lived in like the same neighborhood so we had the same haircut. And so I was like, that was the part that was just fucking crazy.

Starting point is 02:21:15 Cause I didn't know if like, we were both like, you didn't like scramble for a beanie or something to cover up our hair. I just didn't know if we were like, trans by hair or whatever. Like I didn't know what was going on, you know. It was like just, what if you made out just turning into one person?

Starting point is 02:21:28 Yeah. Yeah. So that was a lot, dude. I remember that. And just the fear of having to make out while people are banging on the door and threatening to fuck you up if you don't want kids. That's crazy.

Starting point is 02:21:39 What you guys have done? Kissing I think, I don't even remember. I don't know. I just remember being so fucking scare, you know, and then But yeah, as I got older. Yeah, I think just you know I never got to be like my buddy would always be the one who was inviting the girl to the dance And he always had the girlfriend always had to go with like the friend of the friend. Yeah, I was always like the wingman by By accident. Yeah, it'd be like my friend was talking to a hot girl

Starting point is 02:22:01 And then it's like the two plus ones at a wedding they hit it off It's like the guy and the girl both know the people you may have and then there's just two random people that I I'm dead. I've used to bang his dad. I don't know like there's no correlation. Yeah, I'll never forget I asked the girl I just posted on my Instagram the dad's a girl when I first moved to LA like when my first week ends out My friends talking to hot chick. I'm just talking to the girl and I was like, oh, what do you do for work? And she goes no I was like, all right No, it's crazy. Yeah, not do for where I can? She goes, no, I was like, all right. No is crazy. Not even N O P E. Nope.

Starting point is 02:22:29 No, cool. Two letters ruined me. That was 2017. I still think about it. I know it. No, but no is crazy, bro. An unexpected no will ruin you. I'll rock your world.

Starting point is 02:22:40 It'll fucking right. Well, I think a lot of women, I don't know if they realize like how much is a man it is, it's hard for us to fucking get up there and put the balls out there. That's why like I command anybody that does it. Whether you take an L or not, do the other down in New York City, right? And thanks to everybody that came out in New York,

Starting point is 02:22:58 we did like a show in the round. Oh, in New York. We were out in Westbury, New York. And Glenny Balls came out. Oh, nice. No nonsense. Keith Peterson came out. Yeah. So anyway, it was awesome. How big was that? It was like maybe 2200 to 2400 maybe. Beautiful. So it was cool, man. It was really, and it was just, it was great. I would go back there in the heartbeat. But I do, yeah, I was always the friend of a friend on the dating thing. And I think a lot of it was just no,

Starting point is 02:23:28 like a confidence, because when I look, it almost makes me like, I'll wait for chicks to ask me out sometimes, but I know that then you end up getting, you don't end up getting sometimes options of who you want, you end up getting options of who wants you, right? Which isn't bad, because sometimes it may be a better path for who wants you, might be,

Starting point is 02:23:50 get you exactly where you want to be. But are you always then, is there some feeling of like, oh, I'm not asking who I want? Okay. Does it make sense or not? No, it does, it does. I kind of like, if,

Starting point is 02:24:04 I kind of like that a little bit, because then they are at least under the, maybe assumption of like, oh, this is Theo's life. I know Theo, I love Theo. Oh, he does a podcast and he tours a crazy amount. They know baseline level Theo, but when you go on like, I'm not on there, I can't get on either.

Starting point is 02:24:21 Really? That makes me feel better on myself. God, I've been on it, like, 12 fucking months. Waiting and just checking every day. I'm doing a video game called RIO2A and I just DM girls and make, yo, DMs refer. Dude, I don't know the fuck's happening. There's people who are like,

Starting point is 02:24:34 Valley attendance for like the Beverly Wilshire who are on there. It's insane. Bidens on there, I think. Yeah. Life will learn and fucking RIO, his two go to apps. But I'm not on there and it's kind of good I think being off the apps is probably helpful. Yeah I'm not on any of them. But it's nice that I can't get on in a way.

Starting point is 02:24:52 Yeah. Why do you see like how people's body movements are on an app? It's like animalistic, they're just like right right right right right. And they're just like looking so much for like that stimulation. It's like I'd rather something either happen in real life or somebody kind of come to me because then they're like, hey, I see what you do, I see what you're about, and I like that.

Starting point is 02:25:10 Versus if you're on an app, you're starting baseline. She's like, what do you do? And you're like, oh, I'm like, to you, you're theovon, you're so clearly who you are, you know exactly who the fuck you are. And then you tell somebody who's disconnected in this world and you're like, oh, I'm a comedian. They're like, oh, like, what do you do? And you're like, oh, I'm a comedian, they're like, oh, like, like, what do you do?

Starting point is 02:25:26 And you're like, oh, like, like, I, like, like, just imagine explaining your tourist schedule to somebody who just found out you did stand up. They'd be like, whoa, like, there's so much to unpack. So if somebody already knows, like, oh, you're always doing your podcast, you're always on the road, you're always filming, like, they kind of understand,

Starting point is 02:25:41 they know what they're signing up for, maybe in a sense. And I don't want to sound pretentious or anything, but it does feel like somebody might have done the research a little bit. Yeah. You know, versus if you're just on a date and it's just generic, like, yeah, well, if, I mean, you might almost have to get

Starting point is 02:25:54 on a blind date to have somebody, because these days you can look somebody up and see some stuff about them, even though sometimes it's better not to do it. Oh, yeah. I had a girl tell me before a date, she went on the internet type and Trevor lost dick size.

Starting point is 02:26:07 Nothing popped up. But I'll tell her, it's 12.12. 12, 12? Yeah, 12 by 12. It is. CM, maybe CM. It's a centimeter 12. I don't, it's a gross, it's 144.

Starting point is 02:26:26 It depends on how a crypto is doing. Let's be honest. But she just, she told me that while we were on the day, she's like, yeah, I like to look at all the guys who go on dates with and I looked up like your dick size, just see if anybody like talked about it. Wow. Nobody had.

Starting point is 02:26:38 Yeah, I think having, but they were left speechless. Gang, go. Having that weaner when you're young and having that fucking piece on you is really, it's crazy. And especially if you're so lonesome as a kid, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

Starting point is 02:26:50 I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

Starting point is 02:27:02 I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just out, touching a few times. Wow, I'm, I'm, I'm unlimited. I'm unlimited. You know what I was, dude, I remember getting scared. I was gonna run out how much I had in me too, you know. Oh, and you know, it's crazy. You never really do.

Starting point is 02:27:15 And then you hit 78 one day and all of a sudden, one less year to the Nero. Yeah. You what do you take for that? Oh, I think you just fucking. Purple life? I think you just take a nap and then fuck. Okay, I was saying. Is there an age you think you'll fucking herb life. I think you just take a nap and then fuck.

Starting point is 02:27:26 I was saying is there an age you think you'll be done being horny? Oh, yes, 65 probably. Yeah, I think once you're going to retire to me, if people are real older and they're fucking to me, it seems like a lot. Somebody asked me recently if my dad's a fuck. So I was like, I don't want to know. Yeah, but some days he comes in a little too calm We playing them back nine or he playing the back. What are you doing? Bob? I Wouldn't ask him all that dude if he's doing I would never ask I would never ask yeah I think one time I went my stepdad I I live with this family in high school And I went with them and the dad and I did a a marty grub parade

Starting point is 02:28:02 And he told me that he got a little recently and if I can blew my mind. Kinda crazy, like, you were sick about that. But it was just crazy to hear it. What else we got? Is that any news? This woman says she's allergic to running. A lot of people have given her a ship for this.

Starting point is 02:28:18 She had a reaction trying to catch a flight. She got a UTI, that's all that is. Whole, whole, whole, whole reaction. This is the New York Times. I didn't have the swelling has swelled. I just had a reaction, you go back to the ass. Dude, I, God dang you. Wow.

Starting point is 02:28:33 That was like watching porn back in the day where like the photo with load, you know, percentage wise. Cause that came in out of nowhere. At first I wanted to be like, all right, you're being annoying for no reason. Then I was like, you can be allergic to anything. Just not me. God.

Starting point is 02:28:47 Oh, there's footage of her running. It is funny how people like, sorry to cut you off, document everything on TikTok now. There's like in court, they're like watching TikToks, but well, here's me documenting in my rash. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:29:02 Yeah, it's like, that's a TikTok. Yeah. Okay, that isn't necessary. If you put it to music, whatever, what does she say in this thing, Zach, can we see any of this? She was running on a delayed flight and then made a tick talk about how you can be allergic to running. And this is proof of that is because she had a reaction to it. That's not something I would have said like eighth grade PE when they're like, all right, run the mob, but I'm allergic. Once you got on the plane, she started breaking it on to hives and this is the

Starting point is 02:29:26 habit last time when I throw it so it's closing. She popped a few benedrals hoping it would go away but it didn't. Did she just say gang gang? She did. She ended up having to quietly use her FB pen. We didn't let anybody else know because knowing America they were turned into a normal person or reason. I think this confirmed her doubts that she had allergic to running thankfully she was fine and it was just low-drowed her out of the after. What a full circle moment. It is crazy.

Starting point is 02:29:51 Do you think that we're getting so soft people allergic to running? I think that is the environment that we're headed into as a species. Yeah. Well, I do think that's something that you could challenge a PET user with. Yeah. Are you going to run the mile? I'm allergic to the mile. What do you mean?

Starting point is 02:30:04 You're going to question what I'm allergic to the mile. What do you mean? You're going to question what I'm allergic to? Just like you're allergic to your wife. Where's the last time you saw her? Her flame in the B.A.T.s are? Well, that's the problem with every, nobody, here's one of the issues with everything. Nobody wants to follow what the kind of basic guidelines are for everything. Like there, when I was a child, there was a template for everything.

Starting point is 02:30:23 There was how you did it. You stood for the pledgeledge of Allegiance. You didn't even know anything. Maybe you knew a fireman, maybe your mom and fucking, you know, was trying to date a cop or something. That's a motion you knew about the military. But you stood for the Pledge of Allegiance, right? You respected your questions.

Starting point is 02:30:38 You didn't question anything. And now we've got in a place for you question everything. But is it doing us any good really? Because all it is is just watching people fight. And now nobody wants to do any jobs anymore because they're not respected. Well, also, I think it's the power of the phone too. Because like, a PET just can be like,

Starting point is 02:30:55 that's not real, you have to run the fucking mile. But then you pull the phone out and they're like, well, now I can get fired for this. And they're like, oh, all right. It's like, those videos where people are like acting crazy, like the care and type shit, whenever they see the phone, they either double down and go even crazier.

Starting point is 02:31:09 I love when they go crazy. They're like, oh, hello Facebook live. I'm like, bitch, I'm on TikTok. You know what, young ass, it's on Facebook, but they're always like, oh, hello everyone. Who's watching? But you either double down or you back up and you're like, oh, so I saw a guy get kicked off a flight.

Starting point is 02:31:25 This is a great story. This guy got kicked off a flight. I was coming back from Hawaii. And this dude, he was an older guy. And this was first class, I say this, you know, once a year after all the tour, I go to Hawaii. It's like my life fucking chill out place. And on the flight back, this guy, first thing goes,

Starting point is 02:31:44 do you guys have any vegan options for breakfast? Like seven amps, he goes, oh no, this is all we have. And there's some scrambled egg. And he gets madly tosses the menu in the air. And I go, this is about to pop off. You can feel that fucking, the little bit of whole, whole, and this could do is like 70, right? Next, they're playing whole,

Starting point is 02:31:59 like just kind of like ukulele, just kind of casual, and the TV screens. It's like, it's a preset, it's just place. It's like, it's a small world. It's just playing. And he goes, can you turn this music off? Right? And I go, we're a really bubbling.

Starting point is 02:32:11 We're getting to something good. And then they go, we can't turn off the music. This is the most electric thing you're ever seen. He pulls out his iPad and he puts on stairway to heaven by Led Zeppelin on full blast. And he leans over to his wife and goes, they'll never make music like they used to. And then eventually, he's playing it out loud,

Starting point is 02:32:29 seven minute song. And it's to the point where I'm like, this is a good fucking song, you know? And then essentially, they give him a couple of warnings and then this Simone chick and cop out for it comes in, grabs him by the shoulder and his attitude shifts like crazy. And he's like, oh, I'm so sorry.

Starting point is 02:32:45 I didn't mean to, and then he turns the music off and they kick him off. He leaves his wife there. But on the way out, on the way out, most baddest thing he ever says, he goes, go on without me, you'll be fine. You always are. I was like, this is the most,

Starting point is 02:32:59 it was like, what the fuck is happening? This is like the end of a fucking gilth porn scene, but the guy got escorted and the wife didn't say shit. The whole time she's like, somebody gave his man some fentanyl. Stop acting out, Robert. It was Randy's gonna Randy. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:33:13 It was one of the most electric thing. Damn bro, that's hype when somebody gets thrown off. But his change was so quick. And it was one of those moments where everyone else on the plane started looking at him like, oh, we better be in a, is this a world star moment? Yeah. I was excited.

Starting point is 02:33:29 You ever been in a, like a moment like that where someone's about to start popping off? Oh, dude, when I was last, I'm always in a wide, they had somebody die at breakfast, right? So let me think about what happened. So we're at breakfast, right? Because that's where somebody died at. And good meal to die at. So let me think about what happened. So we're at breakfast, right? Cause that's where somebody died at. And good meal to die at. I was there.

Starting point is 02:33:49 Oh, I agree. Everybody's eating, right? Magic Johnson is there. Really? It was a nice hotel, right? Yeah. So same, right? Once here, I take myself to a nice hotel in Hawaii, right?

Starting point is 02:34:00 Which is a blessing, man. It's like I work super hard. That's what I do. Yep. So Magic Johnson is there, dude. a blessing, man. It's like I work up that hard. That's what I do. Yep. So, magic Johnson's is there, dude, and he's chilling. And some dude starts dying, you know? And every, some people know how to help people that are dying. So I kind of jump up and I'm like, oh, fuck, I don't know anything.

Starting point is 02:34:18 I'm a comedian. Yeah, so I sit back there. I'm plugging Bluetooth apps. So other people go over there and they put up like just partition around the dude's table. What would you can hear him over there? Just, I'm hoping on the dude, right? They take the buffet stands and put it in front closed.

Starting point is 02:34:34 That's all kind of how they did. But then so many people got over there, they even had to move those. You can kind of see the guy and they finally get him back up, right? But then he goes down again. And so they're over there. And then it's like he, it's a wrap.

Starting point is 02:34:47 So everybody's like, how long do you wait? How long do you wait? So after somebody's like, to eat again, right? So everybody's kind of like, can you get seconds? Right, there's nobody's like making a move. So if a waiter takes his plate, like, are you done here? Do you need a box? Or do you need to be in a box?

Starting point is 02:35:03 What are we doing? Yeah. Wow. So it's like, what do you, Do you need a box or do you need to be in a box? What are we doing here? Yeah, wow. So it's like what do you, so what did Magic Johnson do? It was crazy and I'm like, dude, this guy should have done something. Right. First name, all of this, or something. Yeah, or like, you know, make a wish.

Starting point is 02:35:16 The final thing is like, dude, Magic Johnson's here to send you off. Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. That'd be so cool. The last thing you see is like, there's a couple pineapples of Magic Johnson. I'm gonna assist you to heaven, brother. And then you don't die, you're just hanging out

Starting point is 02:35:30 and he's like, I'm gonna go to my room now. Karim's an asshole, I've always heard. That's crazy. Last time I was in Hawaii, the week I got there, somebody got their arm chopped off in a 7-11, with a machete. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's crazy.

Starting point is 02:35:43 It seems like more albacrically type vibe. It really is It's kind of like also like we get it. It's a personality thing. I have to walk around would have near arm I was machete. Yeah, I get it, but it was crazy Yeah, I met a cool lady from I think Oklahoma maybe in her daughter. She had lost an arm She was a mail truck driver and I met her and her daughter beautiful ladies and She had something that happened the male truck had fallen over and she rolled over it rolled over on her arm and she didn't She Ascores. Yeah, she mailed her arm to heaven. I guess or whatever. You know or whatever. However, they say it

Starting point is 02:36:18 But she was missing a arm. I don't know. What else we got man anything else we wanted to talk about. I'm trying to think I don't know, what else we got man. Anything else we wanted to talk about, I'm trying to think. How's work been, Matt? So you tour, do you notice that there's other comics because you kind of got your start, do you feel like in social media, yeah? Yeah, I started with stand up, but social media is what kind of like put me in front of people

Starting point is 02:36:39 and then I used the people who are watching me from digital to be like, hey, I also do stand up and come to the show. And then just kind of like, you know, the first headlining show I did was in San Diego in like 2017 and like 112 people showed up. And I was like, okay, cool. And then I quit my job and I slowly did one nighters

Starting point is 02:36:55 and then I just kind of started building with videos and then by throwing myself in the deep end to headlining, I didn't have 45 minutes. All my set list, I wrote crowd work. This was early on. You know, I'm bad, you gotta be at that time to be like, all right, didn't have 45 minutes. All my set lists, I wrote crowd work. This was early on. You know, bad you gotta be at that time to be like, all right, for the next five minutes. Oh, cool.

Starting point is 02:37:10 What's your brother's name? They, I wasn't ready. So I just kind of threw myself in the deep end, just because I was like, you know, if I'm gonna take this leap, I gotta do it now. Yeah. Cause then I can quit my job, pay my rent by doing standup and a little bit of videos and I can just double down on myself and that was six, fuck I don quit my job, pay my rent by doing stand-up, and a little bit of videos, and I can just double down on myself.

Starting point is 02:37:26 And that was six, fuck, I don't even know, almost six years ago. Yeah. But yeah, it's good. I'm filming a special in, uh, do you want to be at, you know, uh, the Paramount Austin, but July 14th and 15th Saturday shows are sold out. Uh, we had it a Friday, and I think that's almost sold out, but troublewallscomedy.com. But you But you're doing like nine shows there, right? Yeah, we're gonna be there. I think I'm like a week or something.

Starting point is 02:37:49 Holy shit, have you done that theater before? There'll be more. Yeah, it's great. I've done it a few years ago. I haven't done it in a while. Yeah, how many shows are you doing? I'm so excited. I think we're doing nine, 10 shows.

Starting point is 02:37:59 We just added another show. What the fuck? Is that two per nighters? That's just like 10 days, right? No, it's 10 days. I'm gonna stay in Austin. Oh, rolling it up. Yeah, I'm gonna spend some time over there

Starting point is 02:38:11 and try to just see what I like about the city. Nice, it is. I was there on Sunday, it's a nice city. You were? I do like, yeah, so after Indianapolis, oh, you'll love this. We filmed at Gary VeeCon with Gary Vee, the video there, and then on Sunday,

Starting point is 02:38:24 there was in Kyle, Texas, which is 30 minutes from Austin. They tried to break the record for most people named Kyle in one location ever. And I made that video a couple of years ago about like guys named Kyle. I was like this like fucking just kid who just loved punch and drive while drinking monsters.

Starting point is 02:38:41 Just like, just was a kid who definitely was nicknamed like the bias parents and huffed ax body spray. And then, so they were doing a Kyle meetup. And I was like, dude, how funny would be if I went to this meetup, dressed up as my Kyle character. So, I did. That was on Sunday, yeah, so that's a video

Starting point is 02:38:57 we're working on this week. Is it crazy? It was fucking nuts. But it was like, it was at the Kyle fair. So there was like families in shit there. But there was also 1,700 people named Kyle registered and you needed 2,300 to break the record. Did they miss it?

Starting point is 02:39:11 They missed the record. But dude, I'll tell you what, I've never seen that. Dude, that many Kyle's, we could have fucking January 6 all over again, though. We could have taken over a fucking vape shop easy. Dude, it was, and what did they do? Yeah, was there boost, were there like Kyle, dude, there was and what do they do? Yeah, what was their boost whether like Kyle Dude, there was a drywall booth where you could duck duck Kyle or whatever dude. I don't even know what the fuck we were in and out of there pretty quick

Starting point is 02:39:37 But there was a drywall booth where you pay five dollars upon some drywall It was like half families and just have dude's name Kyle with nothing better to do is it's crazy to see that many people who name one with one name in the same place. It is because they all look like they were Kyle's. They all look like. Bring up Kyle. Yeah. A Kyle. Yes, typing Kyle.

Starting point is 02:39:55 Most common Kyle looking. Yeah, they all kind of look like they would, you know, they had Pukeshell nexus at one point. And they got sunburn easy type of type of Foe. You know it's not like blonde hair, but it's not brown. It's kind of that like Mm-hmm. Yeah typing. Oh, yeah, there you go. So there's me right there. So if you go to Kyle Know your meme. It's just there's my video. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah So I made this video like

Starting point is 02:40:22 Maybe three or four years ago about guys named Kyle. And then so I just was like, this would be such a funny video. If we just went to the fair. And so we got a video and like, it was very, it was fun, do we, when anytime people see a camera and a microphone, they already get pretty like fired up.

Starting point is 02:40:42 But then when Kyle see a camera, they're like, this is my chance So do they're going wild? They let me on stage and I got the yellow bunch of shit. That's sick Yeah, I was like it smells like slim gyms and broken homes and then they were like, you're right It was fun. It'll be coming out later this week, but um were you ever approached by like bar stool or anything to work with them? I've done podcasts there, but not like anything to work for them like no. Yeah. No, no, no, I never was I don't know where have any LA people like work there. I think it's not like these ghost people I don't know why they don't have an LA office also

Starting point is 02:41:18 Yeah, maybe LA just fucking too pussy for them Yeah, but they're good people of it. I know I said whatever how their podcast clips stuff. I think they're very aware of that, but they're good people. Everybody that met over there is really nice dude. Caleb's awesome. All the KFC guys. Oh yeah dude, they crushed it over there. I mean they kind of like, they've created some neat shows.

Starting point is 02:41:39 They got all types of characters that start to come out of there. I think that's real fascinating. Yeah. I'd love to have some of the more characters to be involved in our world and podcasting and stuff. Some of this is hard to facilitate all that though. It's literally like a reality show. It's like they just launched careers based on

Starting point is 02:41:57 the employees they work with. It's really smart because people attach to the personalities instead of the brand. It's like, oh, we love Glenny Balls. But in loving Glenny Balls, you're loving bar stool, you know? Yeah. It's so much easier to get a character person out than it is a brand, so it's really smart to do that.

Starting point is 02:42:13 What else could we think about? I don't know if I can even think about anything else. The average day of the story, when I first met you, you were eating is the Oxnard improv? Maybe I said this on the last podcast, well, just saying it was, but the first time I met you, I hosted eating, it was an oxenard improv. Maybe I said this on the last podcast, well, just saying it was, but the first time I met you, I hosted for your show in oxenard.

Starting point is 02:42:29 Oh, thanks, dude. And this was like 2015, 2016, and you ordered a salad. It was a tuna sushimi salad with lettuce, and you're like, I don't want any lettuce. And the lettuce is like, so you want the salad and you're like, I don't want the lettuce.

Starting point is 02:42:43 And then you were eating just raw tuna with your shirt off and you looked at me and you go, it's crazy. Anybody can make a baby. And I was like such a fan and I was just like, didn't want to over-send my boundaries and I was like, yeah man, that is crazy. Like I didn't, I don't want to like. It is crazy man.

Starting point is 02:43:01 When you think that anybody could fucking just eat a kid. Pop one of them. Pop one of them. laid in to somebody else and fucking get a kid out of them But that's all that was going through your mind. It was just such a funny Mm-hmm just sitting there eating makes me fucking hard boy. It does thinking about that Thank you man. Yeah, I'm even checking in while I was eating dude I mean, I was just sitting there. I was fine. We've done a lot of fun shows together We did fucking red bang together and yeah, dude. I was crazy But I was losing my mind that week in, remember?

Starting point is 02:43:26 Oh, well, you have to, you're flight got in like 30 minutes for the show. But I was like losing my fucking mind. That was crazy. It was cold. It was during co-visors. It was bizarre times. Yeah, it was red bank.

Starting point is 02:43:37 They were wasted. Oh, yeah, because outside, it's like the first event, let alone like a big name, like you was there. They're like, fuck you. I saw one guy just throw a chair at another chair. I was like, what are you trying to fucking make less chairs? Dude, it was fucking awesome, dude. That was a fun weekend.

Starting point is 02:43:51 Die, I got to open your will turn show. That was the biggest. Oh, yes. That was great, man. It was like the biggest theater. That was awesome, people were stoked. Really? At the time, yeah.

Starting point is 02:44:00 I didn't have to do one over the summer. That was outside, it was like some stupid like 5,000 thing. That was unreal. I wasn't having fun with it. Wait, did you do Canada? Yeah, the outside lands. It was me the summer. I was outside, I was like some stupid like 5,000 thing. That was unreal. I wasn't having fun with it. Wait, did you do Canada? Yeah, the outside lands. It was me and Michael. I'm going there.

Starting point is 02:44:09 Oh, in Tom's girl. So we essentially like open loosely, open for Tom's girl. But as well as we Pete Davidson and canceled, and then Tom filled in. And they're like, oh, you guys are still on the show. So you're doing it outside? Let me know how you think it is. Damn.

Starting point is 02:44:24 It's, I texted Bobby, Bobby did it too. I talked to Bobby about it. Bobby said he liked it. It's it's fun. It's just different. It takes a second to get used to it, but like that like big pop is still there, but it's it's not like as magnetic, you know, like electric. Damn. The laughs, it's like, you know, when you watch people vape and it just dissipates in there. Yeah. And a comedy club, it gets a little smoky in there. Yeah, it's laughs.

Starting point is 02:44:51 Yeah. The laughs, the laughs. Let's go to the, yeah, the people are just like, hi. It's not like you bomb, but it's just like, people are like, hi. It's just weird watching somebody eat funnel cake while you follow your dreams.

Starting point is 02:45:00 Oh, yeah. But, the laughs just drifted up. But dude, I will say, Edmonton is very like, ye ye, like, conscious shit lashes drift up, but dude. I will say Edmonton is very like Yee yee like conscious shit. You'll crush dude people might even get closer to the stage if you were like Fucking come here get a lick of daddy. I people would swarm up front fuck yeah, boy like fuck your table come sit up front bitch I think people do it. I think people is it big like can you see?

Starting point is 02:45:23 No, dude, it. I think people. And is it big? Like, can you see everybody? No. Dude, like, I honestly, like, it blew my mind. That was there many, that was there meant, I can't talk. That many people were just there. Like it blew my mind. Like, 5,000 people just watching you and you're like, just talking.

Starting point is 02:45:40 It's crazy. Damn. But you know, I'm excited about it. I think I, yeah, it's the only outside show that I have, I think, right now. Also, I was in headlining. Tom was. So Tom, by the time he got on, was a little darker.

Starting point is 02:45:53 So we were up there, broad daylight. Uh-uh. But, oh yeah. Broad daylight. Dude, crazy. I mean, there's people, there's like, lady like burping a baby in the front row. Yeah, I like that.

Starting point is 02:46:03 No, better breastfeed. Yeah, I like that. I breastfeed. Yeah, like that. Good. A fucking love. So if someone's on a tit near me, I'm fucking happy, really? Oh, yeah, RCP one. I'm next. Oh, I'll just jump the line.

Starting point is 02:46:14 Oh, I want to see, I just want to smell gasoline and fucking watch something fucking breast before we, you ever had breast milk? Uh, I haven't had a lot, but you have. I've probably had a lot, but you have. I've probably had a little I would say. You know, how can you even not get some just in with all the kit with everything these days is probably everything. Everything is cut with that. You can't even get a pure line of cocaine without being like a little bit of fucking lactate. A little bit of breast milk in it. Dude, thanks for hanging out today, man. Thanks for having me. Yeah, you can check out Stiff Sox podcast.

Starting point is 02:46:47 Yeah, yeah, we love to have you. I've got to pop back over there sometime and check in with you guys. Please do, man. It's always fun, man. People love seeing our chemistry together. Yeah. Same, man. It's been a blast over the years, man.

Starting point is 02:46:57 You're so excited to watch and I'm glad that you and our buds and that we have like, you know, the ability I can connect to. You've got a question, you know, and I ask you always there for me to appreciate. Yeah, dude, by any means, you know, the ability I can connect to, do you have a question, you know, and I ask you always there for me to help appreciate you. Yeah, do, by any means, you call me recently, you're like, the people still use word, Riz, and I was like, yeah, you good. And then I looked at the comments on that video,

Starting point is 02:47:14 people were like, they were like quoting it like laughing. Oh, good, yeah. I'm glad to be your like millennial little fuck to the internet. Yeah, I gotta have that plug in, man. Exactly, so, thank you, bro. You're great, man, thanks for having me. And I mean that about your audience, when I said earlier, the best people. Yeah, man, I don't that plug in. Exactly. You're great, man. Thanks for having me. And I mean that about your audience when I said earlier,

Starting point is 02:47:26 the best people. Yeah, man, I don't know how we did it. I don't know how we got a part of it. Yeah, there's a lot of it, special people. I think, you know, what you put out there are tracks. Real attracts, real, and that's the fucking worst thing I've ever said in my life, but it makes sense. So, you know, we're trying to stay, yeah,

Starting point is 02:47:40 it's been interesting, man. But it is crazy, bro. I can't even believe that this many people come out to shows and, you know, just think you're only crazy bro. I can't even believe it this many people come out to shows and You know, I think you're only getting bigger. I think I think I think your name is just like I know like that you're big when like Like people who have never even seen stand up and like they're just so disconnected You know like people who are just so hot that when they don't look you in the eyes and make sense And then the one time they make eye contact you like do you know Theo you know Theo Bond? You're like, yeah, this motherfucker is on. This dude is on.

Starting point is 02:48:08 So congrats on that. You're gonna keep, dude, 10 shows at the Paramount. Paramount, that's crazy. It's like, it's like 13,000 people. So. It's gonna be crazy. Well, thanks Trevor, I appreciate it man. And thanks for spending time dude.

Starting point is 02:48:19 Trevor Wallace will share all of his socials and everything. And, uh, a member of their best of luck. I'll see you out there. I'll see you on the date naps hell yeah, trying to date each other I I'm just On the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be When I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life I found I can't feed it In my bones, I thought it's gonna take

This Past Weekend - E447 Trevor Wallace

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.