This Past Weekend - E454 Mark Normand

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

Mark Normand is a stand-up comedian, writer, and host of the podcasts “Tuesdays With Stories” with Joe List, and “We Might Be Drunk” with Sam Morril. His new special “Soup to Nuts” comes o...ut on Netflix July 25th. Mark Normand returns to This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von to chat about life on the road with the Fully Loaded tour this summer, comedy vs AI, the ongoing Hollywood strike, how bad the pioneer life would have been, mushroom glow, going darker in his new special, and more.  Mark Normand:  ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! New Merch: ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit  Babbel: Go to to get 55% off your Babbel subscription. LightStream: Go to to get a special interest rate discount and save with LightStream. Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win.  ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: Instagram: Facebook: Facebook Group: Twitter: YouTube: Clips Channel: Shorts Channel: ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach Producer: Colin Producer: Ben Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Oye, y si este fin de vamos a las piestas de mi pueblo... ¿Qué dices? Pero si tu pueblo está en Mordor. Nada, está dando mirándole, tenemos chopá. Primero cojamos un tren a Zaragoza. Después cojamos un bus a esta calatalla. No te lies. Este verano viaja de puerta a puerta y sin complicaciones con Bláblacá. Siempre encontrarás una cerca, incluso a última hora.
Starting point is 00:00:16 Gracias a tu próximo viaje. ¡Ya! What? We have some new tour dates and these are some new ones. Memphis, Tennessee. We've added a show August 4th and 5th at the Canon Center for the Performing Arts. I know the Chattanooga show sold out. Don't worry. Don't go get a fancy price ticket. We will come back and you'll have another opportunity. Toronto, Ontario, August 30th, an eighth show added in Toronto, San Jose, California. We've added a second show September 14th and 13th Oakland, California, September 16th at the Paramount Akron, Ohio. We've added a show on the eighth or seventh Washington, D.C. We've added a show October 19th and 20th. If your city is sold out, just keep an eye out. We'll come back through. We also have some tickets left for Windsor, Ontario on August 8th. Get your tickets
Starting point is 00:01:23 through the slash T-O-U-R. And thank you so much for coming out and supporting the Return of the Rat Tour. Today's guest has a new special coming out on Netflix. Next week, you'll want to get a hold of that. It's, he's unbelievable. The special is called Soup to Nuts. He's one of a kind
Starting point is 00:01:46 He has two of his own podcasts called we might be drunk and Tuesdays with stories He's from New Orleans. He's a Louisiana boy like myself I'm always in awe of his talent and I'm grateful to spend time with him today. Today's guest is Mr. Mark Norman. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say.
Starting point is 00:02:37 I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say. Yeah, the, uh, there was smoke in the air. They had some wild fires going on.
Starting point is 00:02:48 And the governor said that they had to cancel the show on Friday. Oh, damn. So we had to cancel and stay an extra day. Was it all brown up there in the sky? Like Trudeau's face. He was Indian or something. Yeah, that's true. He was like one of those lamp buddies, I think.
Starting point is 00:03:07 He was like a lad. I don't know, and that's not a racial term. I don't know what the lamp buddy's good. It's magical. Oh, it shouldn't even think it's Indian. Maybe I got that wrong. Is that Middle Eastern? Ali Baba?
Starting point is 00:03:19 I'm not sure. I think dude, it would be awesome if you could actually rub on an eat on a woman in India. I have you always good. Yeah, that's fun. If you could rub on an Indian person and they had to do something for you. They had a grand of wish. Yeah, that would be nice. They also have to face Mecca when they piss or something. Oh, wow. Maybe that's not India. A couple ignorant honkies here.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah, welcome to ignorant honkeys. Ignorant honkeys in the morning. Welcome to ignorant honkeys in the morning. We're out here. We're live. Bro, we just got through like some bat. I feel like you're like a battered spouse. You've been up all night. I'm road hard and put away wet. Yeah, we stayed up all night. It was the last night of the fully loaded tour Slip inside all day drink it all day giant amphitheater at the gorge 15,000 people Drink it. I'm I did some shrooms. I'm gay. We did it up. Yeah Definitely if you don't end gay at the end of it then you're out
Starting point is 00:04:21 If you're on drugs and you go gay, I think you're good. Yeah. It was just a thing. I just tried it. Oh, yeah, man, that cocaine gets a little gay at the bottom of the bag. That's true, especially with this shit. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Nothing gayer than that move. Oh, the last two balls of an eight ball are on another dude usually. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Eight balls, that's four dudes. That's a lot of, oh, yeah. Gay dudes name that appropriately, man. Yeah, dude. I saw the videos that looked magical. I saw, I don't know if it was
Starting point is 00:04:51 bird or you. Someone put up a video of like you guys waking people up into showing them where you were at on the bus. Like you got up in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the bus gets crazy. You drink all night on the bus because you're just sitting there. And then I had one last year was me, Shane Gillis, Joey Diaz, Big J, and Bert. It was like a sleep apnea convention. And Joey's like, Cox, I can buy the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:05:15 That's how he sleeps with a feather going up and down. Oh, yeah. Dude, his CPAP machine one time, I saw how the bowl of weed built in. I'm like, I don't think that's. That'd be a hell of a bong though, huh? Yeah, that's one way to do it, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:30 It goes right to the lungs. But yeah, fun time. It was magical. The sun is setting. You ever into the gorge? No, I'd never been able to sell 15,000 tickets. Wow, that's burnt, you know. But it's such an event in this catering and beer trucks
Starting point is 00:05:45 and slippet side, there's all these events and activities and it's incredible. Oh, that's one vote for Trump right there. Well, you can see we're in a boom. Like you look out in this audience, like, oh, we are in a comedy boom. We're right in the eye of the storm here. Did it really is?
Starting point is 00:06:00 I mean, people want to come out. What do you think that is? Why do you think it's at such a like a wild time where people want to come out. What do you think that is? Why do you think it's at such a, like a wild time where people want to come out and... I have a couple theories, and then I want to talk to you, if you like it this way, or if you like to more when it was a niche art form and a basement, so that was kind of romantic.
Starting point is 00:06:17 But I think comedy's huge right now, because, A, the internet, you can just, before you had a comedy central and an HBO hour, that was it, really, or some albums. So just so much that we got used to it. And HR's up, everybody's ass. So when you come out there and start cleafing, it feels good.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Right, right. So these people haven't heard a good cleaf. They haven't heard a cleaf through a mic. They haven't heard somebody pop off. They haven't, they haven't heard any risk. Yes, exactly. And people like that risk, they live for it. I used to go dark at shows and they'd be like,
Starting point is 00:06:51 Jesus Christ, now I go dark and they're like, yeah, shootin' into my face. Yeah. Yeah, my daughter's fuckin' a black guy, somebody yelled at it one of my shows. Really? Yeah, and people were like, all right, man. I think yeah, there's sometimes people
Starting point is 00:07:05 just coming to get something off of their chest. Yeah, for sure, because he's been thinking about that, but he can't say that at the FedEx Plenty works that. Was he happy or was he like, ugh. I think he was kind of like, he kind of, it was like halfway fist in the year.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Oh, not a full white power. Yeah. It was like a little, yeah, like a mixed power. A mixed power. Yeah. It's like a mix power. It's a mix power. Yeah. It's kind of true because it's like that's white power. This is black power. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:07:32 There's not much, I mean, not much in the middle. Yeah. So if you just raise your hand and ask it, like, if you're just a mix guy, you just kind of curious. Right. Yeah. That's in a racial power. Yeah. It's the worst captain planet episode.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Dude, yeah, that looks magical for you guys, right? I was like, I was really jealous. And the way I mean, not jumping, I was just like, wow, this is unbelievable. What's it like getting to be? Because always I'm just by myself, usually. I'll have like Ari Manis, I'll have like Laura Peak. Oh, good eggs. Or Maddie Smith yeah funny folks
Starting point is 00:08:10 but it's not like getting out there with such a group yeah does it feel more pressure does it like to does it get competitive when there's that many folks on the line up a little bit and then you just want to kill and you don't want to be the one to fuck it up, but it's also nice to hang with comics because we're getting more successful. So you just start potting and then you do your tour and then you sit in your apartment or your house for a week.
Starting point is 00:08:35 And this is like all day, I've got Santino over here and David Tell over there and it's just fun and it's good to be with comics again. It's just, it's like summer camp with booze. Damn. And you guys do a lot of events on Bert's tour. It seemed like I saw somebody eating an uncrustable. Uh, I missed that one. I don't know if that was that that's an event. I don't know. It was a couple of kind of fat, like I don't wanna say a couple thicker guys eating,
Starting point is 00:09:05 like I don't think they were sharing one. Is that, what is that the PB and J? Yeah, oh those are good. It was Stavaros. Oh yeah he was there. He was there? Yeah man, it's a good crew. They handpicked the right people,
Starting point is 00:09:19 but those are uncrustable. You gotta watch out. I mean, I think they killed Ralfi May. I wouldn't be surprised. And this is the town that he died in, man. Is that right? Oh, shit. Ralfi used to live like listening to mile from here.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Whoa. I know. Damn, this is a sham move around here. Why not? I don't know. Sorry. That's it. He's dead, RIP.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Mixed power. Mixed power, dude. Well, I was open the whole time. Oh Dude, yeah, man, you um You've been doing grime. You just keep doing better man. I gotta say your new special I don't think he's all just to tell you dude. It's so funny, man. I can't believe you watched it. I appreciate it dude. It is It made me like I mean you're just I think you're one of the best joke writers that there is. And it's just so many jokes nonstop.
Starting point is 00:10:09 So even if you hate your date that you're watching it with, there's more humor coming. Right. Right. Right. Like you don't have to lean over and even check in with him or her. Right. You know, like I can say this guy has me from the beginning to the end. Hey, I appreciate it. I worked hard on it and I can't have silence. So I gotta keep putting punchlines in. Some of these comics go out there, they're sitting on a stool, they're cool as a cucumber.
Starting point is 00:10:32 I gotta keep zinging, all right, pay it. And I think I'm kind of a boring guy. Do you ever feel like that? I feel like when I go on stage, everybody's like, all right, we can pee now. Cause I'm like, I'm regular looking. I'm not the fat guy or the gay guy. Yeah. So I feel like I'm like, I'm regular looking. I'm not the fat guy or the gay guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:47 So I feel like I'm boring him, so I got a really machine gun. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah, you wonder sometimes why I got like why, well, first of all, the silence thing I can totally relate to. Yeah. It's like if there was silence, I always am like, okay, how long am I safe in this silence? Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:09 But there's two kinds of silence. This is the shit, I'm freaking out silence. And then there's that, like, let me hold you guys in the palm of my hand silence and then hit you with a big tension breaker. Yeah. And I can't do either. I suck at silence.
Starting point is 00:11:24 I think it's a parental. My parents, they do a thing where they don't respond to you, you ever have this? You know, like my mom will be like, so would you do yesterday? How was your flight? Oh, it was crazy. Terrorists came on the plane.
Starting point is 00:11:35 They put guns on the pilot's head and I beat one of them up and they're like, well, it's unseasonally hot, huh? And you're like, come on on nothing on the terrorist thing. You know why yeah do you think that's it like does it come from like when we're kids like why is it that come me that's some of us some of us work with the silence better like they should love silence like he'll backstroke in the silence he'll have a couple cigarettes while things are quiet. You know some like Anthony Jezzelnick knows that, I mean, he's a master of silence.
Starting point is 00:12:09 He's great, yeah. He's like a, like, Han Zimmer of silence, you know. Yeah, yes, the Zim. But why do, yeah, why is it, yeah, if things got silent, like I even noticed it if I'm like dating someone or something, like, oh, that's scary. And things are fucking quiet. I think I don't know how they're feeling.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yes, exactly. And it's like I can't stand to not know how somebody is feeling. Yeah, you gotta give me feedback. That's what's so great about comedy. You say a thing, they laugh, you say a thing, and laugh, there's a back and forth, but some people give you nothing.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Yeah. You ever have an Uber driver and he's trying to chat with you, so you're like, all right, I'll chat. And then you start talking and he gives you nothing back. That's my superpower is I can say something and have no one respond, like at a party. Oh, what a horrible. It's a horrible power, I'm the worst Avenger.
Starting point is 00:13:02 But. You're just talking and people just kind of just peel off. Yeah, yeah, I think I say weird shit, you know, especially around normal people like non-commedians. You know, you're like, what's up with the black people not be able to swim? And they're like, all right, we gotta get out of here. Like, meters running or whatever.
Starting point is 00:13:18 And I'm not trying to, say crazy shit. I'm just saying what I think. Oh, yeah, I think saying something. I would say things like around, my big thing was if I was around like a buddy and their family and stuff, I would spill an insane secret about my buddy in front of his parents.
Starting point is 00:13:35 In order to create any sort of environment that I could watch. Yes. And not have to be like the person that had the major, like didn't have like a real partnership in that exchange. Right, right. And you get to watch it. Now they're going, no, mom, that's not true.
Starting point is 00:13:55 And she's like, well, you told me this. And now you're eating popcorn. Yeah. God, I loved that. That is, you know what else is nice? I'm, I have two friends, mutual friends who are fighting, and I'm in the middle. I love being in the middle of two friends fighting
Starting point is 00:14:08 because they both keep coming to me. Like, can you believe he said this? Can you believe he said that? Blah blah blah, and I'm like, I know, I know. And I love it because I'm off the hook. Yeah. But I get to be the good guy, help both friends, and they hate each other.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Yeah. It's a blast. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, it is fun when friends are fighting. It's like, you feel like you have something to do. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's exactly. And they're so into it. They're like, fuck this guy out.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I'm like, I know he sucks. Then the other guy's like, I know he's the worst. I'm like, oh, it's so bad. And is that burden, Joe? Oh, geez. Boy, you're good. What do you, Nancy Drew over here? No, why?
Starting point is 00:14:46 Are you sure? Are you sure fear was talking about it? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if they want us to bring it up. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. I thought it was a are you'll bring any help put something you drink for crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I put that story in Burt's drink. Are you I think you could bring up the look back on Ari's face just now even looking at this. Look at this. Yeah, this is him. He's a little Jewish troublemaker, but this is the perfect look of a face of somebody who's like, Hey, look at this. I'm about to show you the fucking uncomfortable between these other two people.
Starting point is 00:15:22 You know, you said you like to throw it at the mom and your friend. That's what he does, but on a huge platform. Yeah, he does. He did it with the Kobe thing. He likes the big drama. Yeah, he likes that big fucking bomb. He does. He loves it.
Starting point is 00:15:37 I get it to a point because we're all nervous about people not liking us or whatever. So if you just go in all the way and give them a reason not to like you, instead of just them not liking you genuinely. Or are you wondering if they don't like you? Yes. But if you're like, hey, just don't like me. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Now you kind of have control of it. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, dude, this strike came up. Isn't it nice to not have to worry about that? Yeah, I feel for them. I hope they get the, I think they'll, I think it'll come around.
Starting point is 00:16:11 The SAG after strike. Yeah, right here, negotiations created over AI, streaming revenue sharing, pay hikes and more. Can you get to that article just a little bit? That's tough. I did like what Fran Drescher said. I thought it was pretty cool. Do you see her, Vity?
Starting point is 00:16:26 No, the nanny? Yeah. I used to have a crush on her as a kid. Oh, you did, dude. Right. It's a weird choice to the, she's the head of this. How did it become her?
Starting point is 00:16:35 Well, the funny thing was a lot of people didn't know, right? Yeah. Because like, you get the things in the mailbox that it's like vote for this person, you know? And I always try to vote for like, the crit, you know, I vote for like the wildest person to put in there, because sometimes they're on there. You know, it's like windy williams.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yeah, Kanye. Yeah, Robert F.K. Jr. Yeah, let's put somebody in there. Yeah, it was really gonna make something happen. Yeah, let's shake it up. Yeah, or even that little, they had a little person that was on like a um, a soap opera. And he was always getting attacked by cats, you know, on there.
Starting point is 00:17:12 What? Yeah, and I tried to vote him in a couple years. Um, what, what soap opera was that? Google soap opera, little person. I gotta see this. Oh, this guy was beautiful, man. Really? Yeah, I think I even did it. I even donated to a GoFundMe forum. Oh, damn. That's him right there.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Well, that's not that's a kid passions. That was him. You sure that's not just a child? I mean, or is that a midge? I mean, I think you call Josh Ryan Evans. That was him. God. Man, that's a scary looking. Beautiful. He looks like Kim Zolciak. Kim Zolciak. Or in the face looks like Cory Beermann's wife. Oh, okay. Oh, is he Willow? No, I think Willow might have been his father.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Oh, big shoes. Well, small shoes to fill. But yeah. Yeah, but he definitely oh he was on passions and he And yeah, he was just god. He was so beautiful and I remember There's this famous episode because I saw two I saw a little person Fighting two cats one time at a, wow. Was that pay-per-view? No, it should have been.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah. It was unsanctioned. And there was, it was down in her most, I was going down there to like a beach event or something, and there's a little person, I mean battling two cats in like a car port. Oh my God, what a sight. And other people, and he like looked over to help,
Starting point is 00:18:44 and I'm like, I don't even know whose side I'm on. Right, yeah, what'd you do to the cats? You know, I gotta hear their side. Yeah, and a lot of people don't believe in little, or they're like, this is, you know, we gotta stop. There's all types of kind of unique theories out there. But, and I used to tell, and then I told a story about it on a stage for a while,
Starting point is 00:19:03 but anyway, yeah, I remember that guy, and Deep I told a story about it on the stage for a while, but anyway, yeah. I remember that guy and Deep Kuh, you know what, the Tuffy, you know, we're all friends with Brad Williams and Matt Wee-Man once. They all, the puffy hands of what throws me every time. Yeah, and I don't know, and you know what, I feel bad, I don't know sometimes
Starting point is 00:19:20 when I shake a hand of a little person, I don't know if I should go down and kind of, because you want to give him like a hug, like you do everybody else a little person, I don't know if I should go down and kind of, because you want to give them like a hug, like you do everybody else a little half hug. Right. But then I don't know if me going down to, like coming down more to their height
Starting point is 00:19:33 is makes them upset or something. I, I one of the same thing, I just pick them up and server them. That's what I do, just knock it out. Oh, like Biden did with that girl, do you see that? Yeah. Oh my God. He likes like Biden did with that girl. You see that? Oh my God. He likes to sniff those gals hair.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Oh, he likes knit. He fucking nibbled on that one little, there was a little wider A. It was like a delicacy, I think, for him. Bring that one up. Can you see that? Can you get on Twitter and find some of these? He's like a vampire.
Starting point is 00:20:02 That's how he gets his energy. Oh, he's smelling kids. Yeah, and he goes, oh, he really put it on that kid. There is that wild video, he's, I mean sniffing all those kids. How old are you? Yeah, yeah, that was a crazy montage. He should sniff a little boy just to even it out.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Yeah, it's true, especially gay rights people should be like, hey, sniff a boy. Right, right. Exactly., sniff a boy. Right. Right. What do you mean? Or sniff a, you know, sniff a, I'd love to see him huff on a couple darker children.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Yes, it'd be nice. To be honest. And hit some animals too, like mix it up. So maybe people just think that's your thing. Yeah, or catch, I'd love to see him catch a little bit of dander off of a, off of a, you know, yeah, some type of a pet or even a Middle Eastern child.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Yeah, now we're talking. You know, get a hit of something that's really gonna fucking, you know, oh, you catch a little bit of cardamom off of Bangladesh, he kid. That'll keep you up for two days, man. And he's out here riding these white kids the easy prey to. Yeah, come on, too easy.
Starting point is 00:21:03 I mean, how weird it is really strange, right? It's very odd, yeah. He's like the drunk friend at the bar. He's slurring words, he keeps falling, and then he's freaking out the gals. And I feel like the media just pretends like he's okay. Do you feel that at all? Of course, of course, yeah, it's so obvious.
Starting point is 00:21:20 They're clearly, they know, they just don't wanna, they can't say't say that's what sucks about the media like. It's so biased. Just tell me what happened. Yeah, it's so annoying like you know Fox knew if it's a if it's a white shooter Fox news won't really cover it But CNN will but if it's a black shooter CNN won't cover it but Fox will it's very strange Yeah, it is it's like yeah, definitely is. It's like, yeah, definitely. I think it's another reason why people want to go and see speakers. I mean, not only comedians are selling out or having a lot of big crowds,
Starting point is 00:21:54 but um, speakers are, I mean, that's like Jordan Peterson. True. Um, Lex Friedman, people love listening. Oh, yeah. Well, I have a theory that things are so wishy-washy, like gender is very fluid and this and that. Nobody can tell you what's what. So when some guy comes out in a suit, like an autistic Lex Friedman, and like, this is how it is.
Starting point is 00:22:16 You're like, all right, thank you. I just need some facts here. Enough with the feelings and my truth. What the hell's my truth? Everybody's got a truth. OJ had a truth. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:22:28 So like, you can't just go by that. He was selling cutco and shit just went awry. Damn, that's a bad sale. When a head comes off. I read that somewhere that somebody said he was just selling cutco and things went awry. Damn. Dude, do you see, as speaking of that,
Starting point is 00:22:44 do you see the kid that, they just had a young man who lost his head? Can you bring this story up? Whoa, lost his head. Yeah, he lost his head and they put his head back on. What? Yeah. Man, AI is getting good.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Yeah. Holy shit. You ever see the old, it's not a video, but a kid was born with a giant dong, and they had to, they had to, what do you call it? Reduce it. Yeah, so you had this huge football-shaped dong.
Starting point is 00:23:14 And his dad said, this is, you gotta get rid of this, but it's still making a big dong. So they gave him an eight-incher. No, no. Yeah, they got to bring it back down to eight. Oh wow, that's great. I know.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I always had a lot, I had a adult penis when I was a child. Really? Yeah. So it was very, I don't wanna say it was challenging. You know, nobody likes to say that, you know. Sure. It's like, you know, it's not like a ball and chain, but it's definitely like, you have to monitor
Starting point is 00:23:43 how you kind of move, you know? Whoa, so like, you'd have a diaper with like a mushroom head coming out the side. Yeah, you couldn't fit. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I remember they'd have to get like the fat, like the, they had different name form, but they're like kind of the fatty kid diapers
Starting point is 00:23:59 and they had to, I remember having to sleep on my back or have like even like a little pillow put up against my mother said. What? They would take a roll of my dad socks and put it up next to my body wash left and they would set my weener on it.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Come on. That crazy. Damn. Because they didn't want it to like pull my spine over a different direction or something. I was very young. Wow, that's a heavy dog. Yeah, it was, you know, when that song swing low,
Starting point is 00:24:27 sweet cherry. Oh, yeah. But you grew into it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You grow into it. You know, it happens sometimes. I'm not sure what it's called when you have a adult body part when you're young. Yeah. You have to prepare for your financial future. There's no doubt about it. You have to prepare for what you want your future to look like. If you want to save, you need to save. I'll tell you this, a credit card consolidation loan from Lightstream can help you pay off your credit cards and lock in a low fixed interest rate. Rate started 8.99% APR with auto pay and excellent credit. Now say this I've had some loans that are consolidated and worked out great. So I'm
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Starting point is 00:27:42 Oh, here we go. Frankly. How far apart we are on so many things? How they plead poverty? That they're losing money left and right when giving hundreds of millions of dollars to their CEOs Hmm, it is disgusting shame on them They stand on the wrong side of history at this very moment. We stand in solidarity in unprecedented unity, our union and our sister unions,
Starting point is 00:28:21 and the unions around the world are standing by us as well as other labor unions. That's good. That's interesting, huh? I mean, I feel like she really kinda, I feel like she, you definitely feel what she's saying. Yeah, yeah, they got millions and they can't give the writer some.
Starting point is 00:28:40 I know. The residuals thing is a bummer. Well, I think in a lot of it goes back to just the history of people not getting residuals. You know, it's like all those years of people on shows and you hear that they didn't make any money from. You know, like you hear that a lot about the cast from like saved by the bell and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Oh, yeah. They were on those hit shows. Right. And they didn't, it just wasn't part of their deals. I know. So I think a lot of you have that old energy that's built up. So she went through all that. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:13 The problem is on Twitter, you have so many people that come out against her and are like, oh, here's a millionaire, you know, trying to say what the regular person wants. And it's like, but still somebody has to, somebody has to speak up, you know? Yeah, yeah, and I think they'll be fine, but that sucks. It should be a writer and just like, ah, we're not gonna, we're not gonna pay you. Well, also because a lot of the writers,
Starting point is 00:29:37 they work on spec, you know? They do a project first and bring it forward. Oh, yeah. So I think when you partner in the fact they're doing all of that work. Yeah. And then which some of those things never lead anywhere. True. How many friends do we have that are probably written five scripts.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I've written three scripts. I've written a million packets. Yeah. Yes, and L, whatever TV show. Yeah, and they just steal your jokes. Yes. Hey, here's my joke. So like, you never hear back. I know you actually have to sign a thing when you turn in a packet that says, hey, this is steal your jokes. Yes. Hey, here's my jokes. I'm like, you never hear back.
Starting point is 00:30:05 I know you actually have to sign a thing when you turn in a packet that says, Hey, this is not yours anymore. You send it to us and you're like, that's my best guess. I need that. Let me shoot it if you're not gonna hire me. It's really is, man.
Starting point is 00:30:18 It's such a, it's a sick business. And there's never any accountability. You don't know once you send that packet off what happens. Yeah. And then now you have all these, yeah, you have a lot of actors. And I guess they're worried about AI, which makes sense.
Starting point is 00:30:33 You know, they're worried about all of that. AI's getting good, man. I, people send me jokes that they put in AI in my voice. And I'm like, that's pretty good. That's better than anything I ever had. Also, I'm a robotic guy who tells jokes. Wow. Now AI's taking my shit.
Starting point is 00:30:50 It's a good point, huh? Yeah, scary. But I think maybe that's also one of the reasons why people wanna come see something that's real. Mm-hmm. I wanna come see a human. I'm sick of talking to a robot when I need my plane ticket fixed. I'm sick of not being able to say anything at work.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Everything is like, like goes into like, like what the rules of civility are and stuff at work. And I want to be able to come out and fucking, you know, hear somebody possibly dropping in bomb. Yes, yes. And like little things you go unhoused. That's what we call homeless people now. So you're at work And like little things, you go unhoused. That's what we call homeless people now.
Starting point is 00:31:26 So you're at work or you're in the shower going unhoused. What the fuck is that? But you can't say anything at work. So then you go see the, you go to the chuckle hut and you see the guy talking about unhoused. What's that about? But you go, ah, I needed that. Yes, so you're special.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Did you feel like you had to get it out? That's what I thought when I was watching him, like Mark's so prolific that he's just gotta get this out. No, I'm not one of those guys. I can sit on an hour for a while and just keep honing. I think jokes are better when you they marinate over a long period of time.
Starting point is 00:31:54 I think people put stuff out too quick. Yeah. I think Louis fucked that up with the hour a year thing. Oh, remember that when that pressure came out? Oh, that was new. You got Jay Leno going. I'm doing the something about Reagan, you know? So that fucked everybody up
Starting point is 00:32:08 and it kind of made it this weird, the new standard. I'm like, well, that was just him doing that. Yeah. When that we got to do it. Yeah, that was a lot of pressure. Yeah, but I think people just, I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:32:19 That's why this is even popular. Talking. All we're doing is talking, having a conversation, which we used to do all the time, and that kind of even went away. Oh, that's true, huh? People don't get together.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Yeah, like when do you, yeah, that some of the biggest conversations now or when you hear people talk them with like some lost kid that can with their ringed orbel camp? Yeah, ringed orbel, ruin the Jehovah witness, by the way. Yeah, but yeah, like even this weekend, you know when you're hanging out with a guy
Starting point is 00:32:46 you kinda know, you know him, but you're not like hanging out every day. And there's that weird moment of awkwardness, everything in my body's going, ah, get out of here, look at your phone, put your headphones in, do something. But if you just get over that, it's a blast. But we don't wanna get over that
Starting point is 00:33:02 because comfort, everything is so comfortable now. Oh, yeah, there's definitely that moment. Like, it's like when you're on a diet and they come down to the aisle and to play with the cookies or something or a snack or whatever, you know, do you want a little cookie? All you have to do is if you just get past that thing of no, I'm a stick to whatever my little plan is. Yeah, because we've, yeah, we've become this like immediate fix. Yes. And the phone's easiest one. Easy. One millisecond of discomfort, because we've, yeah, we've become this like immediate fix. Yes. And the phone's easiest one. Easy. One millisecond of discomfort, you're like,
Starting point is 00:33:29 oh, Instagram. Yeah. Not good, because it's hard to get back out of that. It's hard to get back to normal once you're addicted like that. Do you ever look up for your phone and you don't even know kind of where you, there's like a half a second where you're like, I don't where am I, am I married? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:43 I have that while driving. I'm like, I just wrote to 10 people, and I've changed states twice. I didn't even realize it. Yeah, dude, that's so, yeah, there's something, yeah, that's true, these are like just people talking. Wow. That's it, we're just having a conversation,
Starting point is 00:33:59 which was, people crave it. I crave, I listen to like five pods a day. Yeah. I love it. But I think I listen to like five pods a day. Yeah. I love it. But I think it's just generations and years and years of like DNA of hanging out, talking in a circle and in the woods or in a castle or whatever the hell. And then we just stop doing it.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Yeah. Dude, imagine meeting somebody just like on a roadway back. Like, like I was out in Utah recently and I was like, dude, it is dastoled out here. Oh yeah. And it's so hot. Like, I couldn't imagine having been like a pioneer, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:31 I think about that all the time. Traveling across the way you're a horse. One of your kids is, one of your kids is about to die. Yeah, they got the cholera. Yeah, and you don't want to say it. You still want to play with them and wake them up in the morning. Sure. You know, even though God's not going to wake them up one of these days, you know, and I don't want to say it, you still want to play with them and wake them up in the morning. Sure. You know, even though God's not going to wake him up
Starting point is 00:34:46 one of these days, you know, and I hate to say that, but it's like every, you know, and we've went to like little grade guards in some of the, every half of the grades were like four years old, seven years old. Brutal. Not the worst in a little coffin. Oh, yeah, so tiny.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Yeah, but I think it's, I think about that all the time, those old guys who would get on a wagon and then like half their family would die before they got there. And they just had to keep going. There's a deal with it. Grandpa's dead, keep going. Yeah, and it's just St. Louis when they get there.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Yeah. Yeah, right, right. I know that sucks. Is this fourth grandpa? Yeah. You know. And there was nothing in St. Louis, even an arch. No, there wasn't anything.
Starting point is 00:35:26 No, Dairy Queen, nothing. Yeah, and I wonder if you met somebody back then, like all the things you'd have to, like if you met somebody on the trail, you had to kind of really decipher, like, is this person a good person? Yeah. You had to, you were really keen on like body language
Starting point is 00:35:42 and awareness. And like every second of a conversation had a lot of value to it. You had to know if you could share a campfire because if at night they were gonna try to rape your wife. Or her husband. Exactly. I mean, think about the Native Americans. You see those fuckers pull up on a horse
Starting point is 00:35:58 with the feathers and the face paint? A-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e Hey, oh my God. Yeah, we're at a Chuck E. Cheat. Yeah, I was like, I'm at St. Louis. What the fuck? But yeah, no, that's scary shit. And those guys were tough. Yeah, I don't think I could have done it, but I think the value of a conversation back then, it was like, that's where you got all your news from to some violent trail.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Yes, crazy. And that wasn't even, there was no paper. No, I mean, that was paper, but he didn't have like an extra, extra, you read all about it. You know, he just had to go, hey, you know, whatever the hell is the president now. And you're like, oh shit, I didn't even know that. Yes, yeah, yeah, they'd be like,
Starting point is 00:36:41 Thurman's in or something. Yeah. My God. That guy, I didn't vote for him, whatever. Three cheers, open up a can of beans, huh? Yeah, a lot of beans back then. God. Yeah, it's just, yeah, the value, yeah, how a conversation has like changed every the years.
Starting point is 00:36:58 And yet now it's like we're like this little museum for conversations like. Yeah. Sometimes I think like human things will just be in a museum. Like, sometimes I think like, all human things will just be in a museum. Like one day, like aliens will take their children to like see like a smile. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:37:13 This was something that people's, if they were had joy, their face would turn up at the corners of their mouth. Whoa, that's crazy. Good call. You know what's, you know what I was thinking about this the other day, well, hi. If an animal shows you his teeth, you're in trouble.
Starting point is 00:37:28 He's like, errr. But if we show teeth, it's like, hey, you're good. We're smiling. Yeah. And that weird, because teeth are scary. That's what you bite people with. They're pointy and sharp. But yeah, with humans, it's a good thing.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Yeah. Oh, you were high. I was so big. Yeah. Forget I brought it up. Dude, those thoughts, when you're high, I did aren't I writing that, like some you were high. That was so big. Yeah, forget I brought it up. Dude, those thoughts, when you're high, did I ever write in that, like some of the jokes, that write thing you read them the next day,
Starting point is 00:37:50 and you're like, this is garbage. I know, but you think you're Bill Hicks. Oh, yeah. You think you're unreal. I know. You think you're unreal. Oh, sorry. Um, so soup to nuts, man.
Starting point is 00:38:00 I, yeah, everybody's gotta go watch this. You're last special. How did you feel like it helped? Cause we talked about that. I think last time you were here. Yeah, I did an hour on Netflix, nobody would buy it, so it was like a failure. I just put it on YouTube and suck it up, take the loss. And I think that's some of my best work.
Starting point is 00:38:16 And then this, this is a, I kicked it up a notch. I went way darker, I don't know if you saw the whole thing, but I got some stuff I'm nervous about like some juice stuff, Some black stuff, some crayon stuff. Yeah, no, I'm probably about 30 maybe 30 minutes in. Hey, I appreciate you more than my parents. I think anybody only watches so much usually, but I'll watch a second half. I was thinking maybe if I get a date or something I'll say to watch it. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, you'd be like, I know that guy. Yeah, dude, I know that guy, man. People love him. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Blow me. Do you feel like it's gotten, how do you feel like success has helped your personality or helped you like? Do you feel sometimes like, because I know it's comics like we want people to like us, you know? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:03 I know like we're desperate for it. I mean, it's why that thing, why we can't have things be quiet sometimes because the silence is scary for some reason, you know? You know, I've always thought that I liked to, I liked I know when I was young to make people laugh because I knew if they were laughing that they couldn't hate me at the same time, right?
Starting point is 00:39:23 A hundred percent, feel the same time. Right. A hundred percent. Feel the same way. Yeah, and yeah, I can imagine most comedians probably do. So I wonder if some of that starts to dissipate as we get more success, do you think? I thought it would, but I think it's in the wiring. It's like baked in, the cement is dry. So it's just always going to be that way. You can get a little better, but at the core, you're still the same dweeb.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Yeah. You know, it sucks. You almost think you're going to get some Netflix special and you'll feel better. Yeah. But you're still, that's like I always say people like, I'm going to Hawaii. I got to take the edge off. I'm like, but you're still going to have your head in Hawaii. You're going to be on the beach going, what's up with the black people not swimming.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah. Yeah. Come on a shark. Yeah. You're always going to be. What's up with sharks, dude? When don't want to come on a shark. Yeah. You're always gonna be, what's up with sharks teeth when I show my teeth? You know, whatever. That's still gonna happen in Honolulu. That's why drugs are popular.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Yeah. And alcohol. Yeah, man, is it, does it feel like you got a party on those burrt tours? You can just do whatever, you know? Because sometimes I wanna go, but I just, sometimes I feel like, since I'm not the guy
Starting point is 00:40:25 that can party that I'm like kind of like, I don't wanna be like people think I'm like the fucking dad or like the, no, there's a lot of that. I don't call her anything. Well, we all know you're closeted. But, you know, you gotta have the alone type. We're all introverts deep down. And there's only so much time you can be cracking jokes, chugging booze and all that
Starting point is 00:40:46 So you got to have your downtime or you're gonna fucking you're gonna Greg Joroldo. Yeah. Oh, he's just talking about him with someone Oh Jim Gaffigan. Oh nice. Yeah, and he's got a special both you guys that specials coming out this year What is that is 38th? I can have his 10th. Oh my lord. That's insanity That's very impressive. That's insanity. That's very impressive. It's unreal. Do you think though that at some point, there's value into not putting out a special
Starting point is 00:41:10 and like, like Bobby Lee, right, has notoriously, he's had some of this like the same material for a long time, right? And he makes up, and he has new stuff. And look, I've done a lot of the same stuff over the years. I like, you know, but there's some, every time I see Bobby, I lie. He's so funny.
Starting point is 00:41:29 Unbelievable. But he can't put that down on wax because you can't show your dick a different way in a new special. Right. You know, maybe paint some black or something, I don't know, but that's this big thing. Yeah, it's so, yeah, it's like, can you,
Starting point is 00:41:48 but that was the kind of the cool thing back in the day. It was like, you had to go see them. Yeah, that is pretty cool. That's gone now. But is it though? Is it still like, if you don't put stuff out then people have to come see you. That's true, I guess you're right,
Starting point is 00:42:00 but my thing is, a lot of it gets online somehow. Or you put a clip up and so they go, I'd love to see this guy, but I wanna see New Shit. Yeah. Like Jay Leno, whoever, these old guys, could just do that same act forever and they were fine. Yeah, I went and saw Bob Newhart. Wow, love the Newhart.
Starting point is 00:42:22 I think you bring a picture of him up, I think. He's a legend. Bob Newark, yeah, I went and seen him, dude. And he was, I think, probably 80 something, maybe 90. Yeah. And he was doing jokes, wow. He looks like that lady off of Ozarks a little. Oh yeah, good call with the heroin field.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she was fucking the young hillbilly. Yeah, I mean, he looks like he took a strong hit off some poppy and never came back. He looks like the guy in the movie who's just seeing the ghost and he freezes and turns old. I gotta ask you, so you, you're doing very well. I see these venues, I follow you on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:43:04 These venues are huge. Yeah, it's been very well. I see these venues, I follow you on Instagram. These venues are huge. Yeah, it's been pretty crazy, I think. Do you like, because I like the level where I'm at. I'm scared of fame and all that shit. Not saying I'm famous, but like, I would never want to be that famous, not like you, but like some of these guys. Like Bert, Chrysher, so huge.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Oh, yeah, that seems almost scary to me. Yeah, I just feel like that's when people start looking at you with a microscope. Well, I think you definitely, your anonymity starts to get lost. I mean, what happened with me was a lot of tick people took all my stuff and put it on made it on TikTok. Ah, the Andrew Tate.
Starting point is 00:43:36 And so that took it to like a different place. It wasn't in my management, you know? It was like, I mean, there's things people come up and ask me about, tell me, they're so excited. I've never seen a clip. I don't even know. Oh, yeah. So that, I think, kind of took things to a different level. It's definitely been kind of, like, it's kind of a,
Starting point is 00:43:58 I don't want to say that it's a bummer. But one of the tougher things about getting popularity is, you spend a lot of your time defending yourself, like hiding myself. When I get off the plane today, I go and kind of stand in a space away from where I know people won't be. Just like little things like that,
Starting point is 00:44:18 where you're just monitoring how visible you are. I don't know if that sounds egotistical though. No, I get it because sometimes just not ready to chat. Oh, it's sometimes, yeah, and you've had that, and you've already met a lot of people for the day. So sometimes it's like, I'll be like, if I've already met 20 people today, I can't, I my brain needs time to think about stuff,
Starting point is 00:44:40 I need to do stuff in my own life, you know, I have to take care of myself and make sure I'm fed and whatever, you can't spend all your take care of myself and make sure I'm fed and whatever You can't spend all your time meeting people, right? Yeah, yeah, and part of you would like to there's that part of you That's desperate for people to like you of course. It's a it's a catch 2018, you know, you want them to like you then when they do you're like, all right, but now you got to give me space Yeah, so we are kind of dicks in that way, but let me just say this you ever meet Theo out in the wild Say hello great stuff. I love your pod and, you ever meet Theo out in the wild?
Starting point is 00:45:05 Say hello, great stuff, I love your pod, and then you gotta move on, because the worst part is that awkward shit where they're like, now what? And you're like, no, I don't know you though. Yeah. You said your things, I got nothing on you. I don't know your mom or where you live
Starting point is 00:45:19 or whatever if you were Cub Scout, you know? So that's always get in, get out. The lingering is tough. Dude, and that goes for anything in life, man. One of my friends told me one time he said, be good and be gone. That's what he said. I like that.
Starting point is 00:45:34 And that had always had a lot of value to me. My friend, Will Kirby said that he's a board certified dermatologist. Hey. And yeah, he's doing good. The guy, he's probably 50 looks like he's 44, but SPF to the gills, dude. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:52 You gotta moisturize. Oh, he's fucking, he's so suppled, dude. He's slick. Oh, he, oh. Good for him. He's so fucking suppled. But yeah, he said that to me, and I always thought that that was pretty interesting.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Because yeah, you don't want to get stuck in a space with anybody and it could be business, it can be with women. Yes. You know, especially anything you're kind of like approaching new, if you get stuck in that extra space where you don't have much prepared or you don't know what you're going to do, then that's kind of, you know, it's not the best. Right, right. And that's not a good answer for that, but it's just, yeah, you wanna be good and be gone, put in yourself, because you feel better than two, you're like, man, that was cool, it was a good and a right.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Yeah, perfect. The best is like a guy on a bike who just goes like, gang gay, yeah. All right, now that was perfect. Yeah. I got the recognition and no chitchat. And then he stands up and looks back and says it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:43 And then he has assless chaps on him. You're like, whoa. Yeah, pride month. Yeah. Well, the worst is when you go, thank you, and they go, whoop, they pull that u in. And you're like, oh, not the ui. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I thought we were done. Yeah. But again, very nice. I sound like a cunt. I'm like, hey, USOs with the hellos and the praise. No, I mean, and it's like, sometimes it's just what your own day is. Like, I'll tell people now, like, hey, man, I'm just having a tough day or, you know, I just be honest about what's going on.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Yeah, that's put the burden on them now. So now they want to leave. Yeah. You know, what if you just start unloading your shit like, hey man, I can't get it up. And I'm so glad we're here to talk. And he's like, ah, now I got to go. That's a good move. I think one of the things that I do is like, um, like on my pie, like, like on my podcast, we talk a lot
Starting point is 00:47:27 about there's a lot of like people that struggle with stuff. So we go, so sometimes it's like, I can tell like if somebody's struggling sometimes, like, I want to be in that moment and like some stuff you want to share, you want to hear what people have going on. But then some people have just seen clips and they're just like, you know, they're just, they don't know anything more. So sometimes if it's like a podcast fan who's in your pod, then that can be a little bit different, you know? That's a little different yet, because they know we're weird.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Right, and they're probably weird too, because that's the thing. Right. It's like, dude, we're probably the same type of weird because we, so, you know, like a lot of the people it's like, oh, I probably would have a conversation with them if I just make it regularly. So true, but you ever get the guy, like I read my DMs
Starting point is 00:48:11 because I'm a psycho and I'll get the guy like, hey, I see you're coming to Nashville. I got a cabin, if you wanna come by, I'll massage you and I'll cook and you're like, wait, what, why would I do that? He's like, I got knives and a snake. You're like, what? Yeah, yeah, and we have a family graveyard in the back
Starting point is 00:48:30 and you're like, I'm not doing that. You know, the guys like, we can make a soup, we have a great homemade soup. Oh, God. Some guy texts me the other day and he goes, I'm gonna suck want to suck your That's what he said. Oh, hey nice Was that Rogan? Wow
Starting point is 00:48:54 But see that's that's kind of what's fun about being a guy is like if that was a woman Like I'm gonna suck your pussy bitch. Yeah, she's like It's hard to make a woman, but with that's where like, look at this guy. How funny, my uncle. Well, women, women. Women have gotten so vulgar in the DM. Oh, yeah, it's a new world for the, for the clam. Yeah, they're like, let me come,
Starting point is 00:49:18 let me come drop this split on you. They'll say crazy stuff, huh? I love it. I mean, I'm married now, but those were the fun days, and I would always write back, hey, be good and be gone. That's it. Quick and out. I had a girl one time send me a DM and she was some huge brass.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Oh yeah. God, dude. You could see, like her, yeah, her breasts, they even had like a sunrise and a sun, there was like, there's an eclipse. Oh, they had. Yeah, they had. Yeah, she wasn't a flat-earth or. Oh, no, she believed in the true, you know. She believed in science, man. And she's too big, though.
Starting point is 00:49:56 She just came, we just got together and a lobby of the hotel and played cards and that was kind of cool. Come on. What is, that's weird. But it was nice, though. Really? There was something kind of like old school and romantic about it
Starting point is 00:50:07 You know we played that game speed have you ever played that? I don't know speed. I've done speed I don't know the game. What's the game? Yeah, it's it's almost like being on speed But you're you're just doing it with the cards and you're fine. You can go to sleep after oh Yeah, no hangover no crash easy nice with a nice time. Yeah, that's why I like shrooms. Just the best drug I don't know if you ever did them. Oh, yeah, dude. It's no hangover, they last about five hours. It's kind of natural.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Yeah, you can go into the bathroom by yourself at least twice, you're like, oh, me. Yeah, that's right, that's right. But don't get a look at the mirror because you're ugly. Yeah. In the mirror, you're like, oh, how come people are talking to me?
Starting point is 00:50:45 I'm a ghoul. Dude, the show got canceled on Friday, so we went out to the park and lot and we're just meeting people that were showing up. Yeah. And they had like five dudes that had come, they taking a bunch of shrooms to come to the show. Oh, man. And you can see their face, they were all kind of shiny.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Yes. That's room glow. Yeah, you can, that's room glow. Yeah, you get that room glow. Yeah, which is beautiful. It looked like a happy child. They look like angels. Yeah, they're floating. Can you imagine being RFK Jr.
Starting point is 00:51:14 and taking shrooms and hearing your own voice? Oh, I think I was the devil. Dude, he could win. He could win. He's the opposite of Biden. He's ripped. He has his own views. I think he's the opposite of Biden. He's ripped. He has his own views. I think he's a bit of a cook in some some areas. He's got he's definitely on the fringes.
Starting point is 00:51:35 But he wants to bring back the middle class. He wants to stop the war. He's got some good stuff. Yeah, and he's able to say what he thinks. He's able to like share what he thinks. I think you he believes what he believes, right? Yes. I don't think any of it seems like he is saying it for some. And here's the thing too, you know he is, those are his beliefs because nobody's fucking believed him. Yeah, and they're pushing back like you fucking weirdo, like a crank, like a crank, whatever that is. Yeah, they're definitely calling them names from the past. Yeah, are you a Charlotte in?
Starting point is 00:52:06 You're a gobbledy good. Carpet bagger. You muck raker. Yeah, they're calling them stuff from the past, bro. I know, I know. Yeah, the internet in the paper, very mean. Like he's just an old man who's rip trying to do his thing, trying to save the country.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Yeah, and I've known him just, he's always been a standup dude. He's somebody that I would go to for suggestion. He's somebody that I've always really trusted. Just as a person, it's crazy to know a person, and then be like, oh, they're going. That's crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah, heroin guy. Yeah. Yeah. Which makes me like a mor. Oh, dude, well, that's the thing. He's handicapped. Right. He's done heroin. He's ripped. Yeah, dude, well that's the thing. He's handicapped. He's done heroin. He's ripped.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Yeah, and he's ripped without the heroin. Yeah, and he's having, he obviously knows Larry David, which to me in my book, that scores a few points. Yeah, that's a great point, huh? I love that, yeah. But the fact that he's speaking that nobody believes, so that's when you know he's, I mean, the guy who's been on his own.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Yes. So you know those are his views. You know mean, the guy who's been on his own. Yes. So you know those are his views. You know he doesn't have any lobbyists in his pocket. Yeah, he doesn't sound like any politician. Every politician is kind of a puppet, you know, for the man or whoever it is. And he has his own things and he had a great line. Somebody goes, you know, Trump actually likes you. What do you think about that?
Starting point is 00:53:21 And he was like, I think it's cool. And they're like, what? But it's Trump. But he's like, I know, but we gotta stop fighting. We gotta stop having this left and right shit. Let's just be Americans. And I'm like, I needed to hear that. I hate this division.
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Starting point is 00:54:59 I hate that like I go to the UFC fights and Trump will be there, right? And I feel like that people are going to judge me for it. Of course. So, see it with them are like, like I would never judge any of my friends if they associated with any body. I don't think, you know, here's a picture right here. I got asked to take this picture. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:55:23 And his camera was it. Is her dean? Yeah, I couldn't eat that. Well, you really got the lean going, huh? I tried my best, dude. It's so long. It's so long. Let me take that picture.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Holy shit, that's why you could hold up. Well, somebody's phone, I don't know whose was had like bacon grease or something on it. I think it was the one. So any button I pray wasn Well, it's that somebody's phone. I don't know who's was had like bacon grease or something. Oh, so any button I pray it wasn't it was the Oh, the grease was so thick. Well, the great it was kept taking the hit of the grease. So it was like if I pressed a button, it wasn't like saying, okay, I'll accept that button.
Starting point is 00:55:55 All right, you got some dirty Italians phone. It definitely, but how cool I was on the bus with Bert watching this and I was like, this is Gillis, this David Spade, there's Theo, there's Johnny Doxville. Yeah. So cool, I mean, you spade in Doxville. What, that's the movie I wanna see.
Starting point is 00:56:13 And Spade's become one of my, he's probably my best, he's probably probably my best friend in Hollywood these days, for sure. Did you ever think watching Tommy Boy that you'd be hanging out with that little twink? You're not a tense. I thought, dude, I remember,
Starting point is 00:56:27 when I first saw Joe Dirt, I thought it was real, right? I thought that they had left this kid at the Grand Canyon. Oh, come on. Yeah, really? I remember really believing that when I was a child and fucking broke my heart. You thought it was a documentary?
Starting point is 00:56:42 A really fun job. I guess I did. And I don't remember why I did, but I just did, you know? But, um, yeah, so that, anyway, that's just wild. Cause then you're also there with Spain, which kind of gives you carte blanche with like other celebrities and stuff. Right. So he meets somebody, I'm like, hey, I'm right here.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Yeah. What's Knoxville like? Knoxville is kind of like, he seems kind of serious a lot of times. Really? Yeah. Well, his dick doesn't work. Really? He'll probably make it a little more serious.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Oh, dude. Well, a good thing we're, we're sitting near each other and nobody's, nobody's getting fucked. Yeah, and a lady shows up. You got dibs. What's he going to do? Go down on her for an hour? I'd probably be right there next to him, dude.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Bram bram. Bram bram. Dude, my 20s, I couldn't even get an erection. My 20s had so much anxiety. Oh, yeah. Right. next to the front. I remember squeezing as hard as I fucking could. Oh, it's the word, and your brain is going in so many directions. You're like, please, please get hard. She's right here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Oh, it's so embarrassing that you have the, no, it's not you, it's me. I'm in my head, and she's like, you think I'm ugly? You're a f***ing idiot. No, no. You're gay. Yeah. I'm not gay. I know. You know, I have picked'm ugly? You're a f***ing idiot. No, no. You're gay. You're not gay. I know.
Starting point is 00:58:07 You know, I have picked, I'll draw a picture of some vulva right now. With my eyes closed, you know, I'm not gay. And the saddest part, dude, I would notice my brain, because I would get in those instances, you know, and I would feel so fucking defeated. And I didn't know it was because I had so much anxiety where I'm women, I just thought there was something wrong
Starting point is 00:58:27 with me. I didn't know that it was, you know, my mother didn't look at me for 14 years. So I didn't have any connection to how to, if I, if I want, I like, yeah, well, she saw that big hoggy years. I didn't, she couldn't take that context. That's true, it's too awkward.
Starting point is 00:58:43 But yeah. Yeah, she saw that front end load or dude. Yeah. Damn, unless I'm moving cement in the yard, I'm not fucking with this baby. Yeah. You're using your dick as the tar mop and flattening it out with the-
Starting point is 00:58:58 It's a boy, it's a girl, it's a dick. Yeah. Yeah. I'm scared. Woo. But I have a weird thing where I couldn't get it up if I I didn't like her, I was a porn star. I think there's a term for that Benson. If you want to give that a goog. Yeah, let's look that up.
Starting point is 00:59:09 But so I remember my brain would start to say, okay, you need to have an excuse now, right? But it would be like 5 a.m. sometimes. I know. I know. would start to say, okay, you need to have an excuse now, right? But it would be like five a.m. sometimes. I know. I know. And I would always say I'm part of a swim team, I remember. And now we have early practice. Damn, that's good. Swim team because no one lies about a swim team.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Right. People would be like, that's who would say that? Yeah, it's too too specific. But sometimes they'd be like, you're 28 years old, right? What's, you're not even in college, you know? Yeah, yeah, that's where you're on. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:50 The things the place your brain will go to get you out of that situation. And I'm like, you don't support the mid city fans. What if you yell something, you know, I can leave. Or sometimes I would say I have to go home and let my dog out. Oh, yeah, that's good. But I don't know. Most guys would fuck her and then get the dog. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:10 I feel like. But then there's a little bit of like, oh, this guy's a pet lover, this guy's a good guy. That's true. That's true. But women don't have to worry, but I don't know a lot of women who are like, oh, I just can't get wet. Yeah. Like Jim Jeffries said that great bit where if I can't get it up, it's my problem.
Starting point is 01:00:24 If you can't get wet, it's my problem. And I was like, that's kind of true. Also, don't turn a lady down in the throws of passion. She will hit you with a frying pan. Oh, they get, so yeah, it really debileted. They really feel affected by it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Yeah, sometimes I feel like I should go back through my 20s and just make do like an apology to her. Go to studies where some of these women live, bring them in their current husband up on sage. Yeah. I had that in Phoenix. I hooked up with some comedy club waitress 10 years ago. And I did the theater a year ago and she came out with her husband and it was awkward.
Starting point is 01:01:02 He was like, I know everything. I'm cool with it man, but he's shaking your hand real tight and giving you like a weird aggressive hug. He said he knew everything. Yeah, he was like, ah, she told me everything, but hey, it's all good. You come here, you're big galut, and he's no getting me.
Starting point is 01:01:16 And I'm like, this is weird. He doesn't like this. God, that is weird, huh? Yeah, and this girl had a Nutella fetish. So she would make me put my dick in Nutella. Oh European yeah hazelnuts. I gave her the hazelnut. Yeah Yeah, two pumps Dude that's interesting. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some good
Starting point is 01:01:42 Yeah, dude, it was oh that's it was traumatic for me and my kids. Oh, the worst, the worst. That's to keep harping on it, but that was tough man. But that thing is that, yeah, it was just, it was so much anxiety being around or what, like, oh yeah, you know, and then it starts to dissipate. It shows how powerful your brain is because like, she would, a girl would leave after I couldn't get it up
Starting point is 01:02:01 and I was so bummed out and I put porn on and I'm hard and two secondsed. It's all mental. He's got to get a, your brain's like a horse. You got to learn how to control it or else it'll just keep galloping into a bad place. Yeah, into a place with no boners. Yeah, it's tough, but I got to finasterized, you know what that is?
Starting point is 01:02:21 Oh yeah, I'm on it right now. Oh yeah, me too. So I would take that and everybody's like, it's gonna kill your boners, man, you'll have hair, but you won't be able to get hard and I'm like, oh, that can't be true. And I bought into it. And so I would hook up with girls and I couldn't get up.
Starting point is 01:02:34 You could have up, but it was all in my head. Literally. Yeah, it's a hair. Yeah, but I never had a problem, but then I had to sit down with myself and go, this is all in your head, you're fucking crazy, and I got back to it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:48 Well, I take the Bluetooth, man, I like them. Oh, really? And what I like is you can have a nibble of a amount. You know, I can eat, you know, how's the evening going, how much are you in love with this girl? You've been seeing or something, and you can try to take it, you know,
Starting point is 01:02:59 and so, you know, that is nice to be able to have a nibble of a amount. That is nice. Because the Viagra dude, I remember when I was in my 20s, I remember I would go, I went and lit, you couldn't just get, when they first came out, you were like, damn bro, old people are fucking, I remember a deal with time. This black dude came up to me and was like, hey, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh. Old people are fucking.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Mm-hmm. You know, I heard those old folks homes are just orgies. And then he robbed a guy and I was like, what is this? That's not even funny, dude. No, I just said that. But um, but so I'm around and lived a buddy of mine.
Starting point is 01:03:40 His dad was getting a prescription. So I went and lived with him. He was my roommate. So I could and lived with him, he was my roommate, so I could chirp off his viagra. Wow, just that's the only reason? I mean, I like the guy as well. Sure, but the prescription helped. It was hard, it was like plutonium back in the day.
Starting point is 01:03:56 It was expensive, it was hard to get. It was 60 bucks a pill on me. Yeah, that's right. Cause they know you need to get laid. It's like that AIDS guy who jacked up the prize. Martin Screly. Oh yeah, that's right because they know you need to get laid. Yeah, it's like that AIDS guy who jacked up the prize Martin Screly Oh, yeah, that fucking uh that chute yeah, dude slime ball. Oh, he was that T. Sell Hitler was he sell Hitler There you go. I know I know he's just walking around. He's free now. Yeah, he's out. He's doing podcasts Uh-uh. He just did Legion of Skanks. They got him. No way.
Starting point is 01:04:25 I pull it up there, Benjo. Pull it up. What was his name? Martin Slerker. Uh-uh. Skarelli. Skarelli. Something like that.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Legion of Skanks. I think Gillis was on it as well. I think Gillis called him out even. But yeah, that guy really, uh, yeah, there he is. See what the, the doofus hair. He got the Hitler hair too. He's got the swoop. Down one. Martin's, yeah, there he is. See what the, the doofus hair. He got the Hitler hair too. He's got the swoop. Down one, Martin's a squirrel.
Starting point is 01:04:49 I can't believe they had him on. I know. I mean, he's an interesting get. Let's see him there he is. Wow. He looks like a 10 year old. He looks like all of the West Memphis three. Ha, ha, ha, ha, he's mushing the one.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Yeah. He kind of looks like the of the West Memphis three. Ha ha ha ha, it's mushed into one. Yeah. It kind of looks like the kid from Toy Story. Oh yeah, he looks kind of AI. He does. He does. Yeah, what a great group. It's a fun pod. It is fun, huh?
Starting point is 01:05:19 And Skankfest is also fun. I don't know if you've ever been to that. I didn't been, they invited me, Louis invited me two times, the weekends have just been, you know, it's tough when you're all sit when you're touring. Of course, of course.
Starting point is 01:05:29 And the one weekend you have off, it's like you want to have it off. Oh yeah, yeah. And that, you can't have that. Like, you're going all in on that. It's lose, it's crazy fans, it's parties. Yeah. What else were we talking about?
Starting point is 01:05:44 Bonaurs. Oh yeah, but I remember living with that guy. But then the problem with the Viagras was you'd start taking them and here was the problem your face would get so red. Yeah. And I remember I couldn't bend my arms on someone when I first started taking them. Even your arms were boners. You would, oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Oh, damn. Cause that shit is strong. Oh yeah, I felt like a cricket judge, you know? You're like the guy at the airport. That's all you can move. Yeah, it was, that shit is strong. I would, I took a half if I needed it. Oh, yeah, well, I would start getting nibbable chunks,
Starting point is 01:06:17 but then even then I still had problems. I, yeah, it was just because it was still so in my head. Well, here's a question. Let me, I wonder if I gave you a Viagra, but it wasn't real. I bet if you ate it, you'd still be able to get a boner easier than if you didn't just because of the mental. Yeah, you know?
Starting point is 01:06:37 Yeah, I bet you're right. Like sometimes when I'm really hungover, I drink a cup of coffee and I feel better. Sometimes if I smell coffee, I feel better. Cause your brain's like, oh, it's about to come in. Just the smell of it. So no caffeine has hit me, but just smelling it, my brain goes out, we're good.
Starting point is 01:06:53 Pretty wild. Yeah, I think it's, I think we don't even know the powers of our brain. And I think the direction we're headed is society. I don't know if we're, we're not, that's not the thing we're trying to learn. We're trying to learn the, we're so addicted the other way. It's like, so true. I mean, we are addicted to our phones. We are addicted to that next thing. We are addicted to vaping to sugar. It's almost like, I don't know, sometimes it feels like the puppeteers, if you will, the people that big sugar.
Starting point is 01:07:26 Yeah, big tech. You know, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,
Starting point is 01:07:34 big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, and retrograde where we're connecting here. Our periods are synced. Bring him up. Yeah, we should be on a volleyball team. Yeah. Bring him up. You know why? It's because it's WNBA All-Star. Oh, boy, the spotting must be crazy. Oh, the spot up, the spot shooters out there.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Fucking nuts. Just bring up big pussy birthday on Twitter. Areas. Is it 77th birthday today? up big pussy birthday on Twitter. Areas. Is it 77th birthday today? Well, a day ago or so. A day ago. Still scroll a little. Yeah, that's awesome, dude.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I saw this because somebody keeps scrolling somebody put, um, they accidentally put Joey D as his picture. One fat Italian for another. Vincent past story. Oh, actually he's Cuban, sorry. Yeah. Gocksucker.
Starting point is 01:08:33 God, dude, what a one. I mean, how do you find a guy like him? Yeah, one of a kind. One of the mill. Hope he's all right. Yeah. You ever take it one of those edibles he has? No, we did shrooms on his show once. I don't think I took an edible over there. They don't do it
Starting point is 01:08:49 They're called like stars of death stars of death at Lee you just feel you remember when Elon Musk sent a convertible in the space Mm-hmm. That's how I felt when I took one. I was in space floating alone Brutal hated it. Well, it's still that famous episode where Owen Benjamin couldn't, he couldn't, he went too deep. Damn, it's like a mental viagra because you're like, you know when they say, if you're hard for four hours, call the police or whatever. This, your brain is so high,
Starting point is 01:09:18 you feel like you'll never get back to normal. Yes, scares the shit out of me. That is the exact, dude, that's the perfect statement. That's the scariest part about some of the drugs is that you're not gonna get back to normal Yes, it's that Alice in Wonderland shit. We're like I guess I'm here now. This is my life The worst feeling. Yeah, how will I ever make a sandwich again? Oh my god, forget about it. Yeah God That was unreal. I know um, I don't love weed Yeah, God, that was unreal. I know.
Starting point is 01:09:43 I don't love weed. Yeah, you know, I never could, but then here's one thing that I noticed after a while, weed, a certain type of weed, wouldn't make me be able to do boners. Oh, wow, really? Yeah, boners, because it just, it like, trumped whatever little part of my brain was
Starting point is 01:10:01 and I could do boners. Whoa. Oh, that's interesting. Oh, I remember even texting my mother when I, when I first, and I said, mom, because I told her over the years, you know, about this, you know, I have this problem. And really? But it was traumatic, man.
Starting point is 01:10:16 It is pretty traumatic. And then you're in relationships and I couldn't have texts with my girlfriend. Oh, man, this is horrible. Kimero, want to save your sex life. A growing number of doctors are prescribing THE for everything from rectal to function and difficulty orgasm.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Look at that. You were ahead of your time. We've known for a while, at least anecdotally, that cannabis can enhance the sexual experiences of women. Now, I've also noticed it'll make your wife feel like a new woman you've never met. When you're high. When you're high. Totally, totally. Like, oh, these tits a new woman you've never met. When you're high. When you're high.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Totally, totally. Like, oh, these tints are new, these shoulders are new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a recent survey of medical cannabis users conducted by Hello MD, a telemedicine, a scroll down. Platform found that men and women had seen a boost in their sex life. How do you like that, see?
Starting point is 01:11:04 When I'm high, I'm not horny. Really? I'm just in my head too much. I'm thinking about sofas and cookies and pooled. But is that an indica though? I wonder if it's the wrong strand. Maybe, I don't know my strands, I will. Indica's in the couch.
Starting point is 01:11:19 And then Sativa is like the energetic one. Oh, I think it's vice versa. Oh, is that right? Okay. Ben, what is it? Yeah versa. Oh, is that right? Okay. Ben, what is it? Yeah, they say the Indicouch thing. So it's basically Indicus kind of mellow and the other one will kind of give you an energy,
Starting point is 01:11:31 but it really doesn't matter this one. Well, I've never been doing it all wrong. Oh, a long time here. You're smoking something, getting boner. Yeah, but that was good, man. I got those banners, dude. That was fun. That's a great feeling.
Starting point is 01:11:45 You got married on your off the market. I'm off the market, happily married, got a great lady and we're gonna maybe have some rug rats. Do the whole thing. Are you guys doing inbria, are you guys gonna outsource it now? No, we're gonna, she's young enough. So I think we're gonna just try to shoot loads.
Starting point is 01:12:05 Philip that yum tunnel hot air she is. Hey there's the lady. Oh wow dude, bro was that scary for you? Was it scary to commit to being married in school? Of course, terrifying. I still wake up every day, scared. Oh wow, she's hot, huh? Oh hey, thanks.
Starting point is 01:12:19 I mean I'm not looking at her, but she seems hot. She's got a ample bosom. Great gal, funny. She's funny. Yeah, really funny. I can't, she says horrible shit around the house. Like if anybody, if Alexa was just like, I've been listening to the whole thing, I'm gonna tell everybody, we'd all go to jail.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Yeah. But I like that. And I'll let you know, you know, you hang out with a girl and you say some offensive joke. And she's like, okay. Yeah. All right, we could never hang out. Yeah, she's the opposite. She's the psycho.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Was that one of the first, like, is that, that's definitely a thing. You have to have a woman who's funny or gets, at least also who gets jokes. Gets it. That's even more important. She's got a great laugh. I think I love a lady with a laugh.
Starting point is 01:13:01 Yeah, dude, I used to think, yeah, if I could have got my mother to laugh at me, and I don't know if I ever would have done any of it. No, you'd be saying you'd have no mullet. You'd be working at, you know, a pinkberry. Yeah. I'd be a manager. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:17 You just have a normal life. Oh, I'd have said, yeah, I'd have been in a local attorney. You would have been too. Oh, really? I think in Louisiana. Ah, dude, declare. My client did not rape that woman. They're always sweating too.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Like there's no AC in the South. Yeah, dude. Even if they are, we'd have been wearing sear, but from New Orleans, we would have been wearing sear suckers suits. Oh yeah. We'd have been eating fried shrimp every day. Yeah, mint tulips.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Oh yeah, and begging some judge. Yep. To give our clients some leniency and probably some ambulance chaser fraud. Oh, Remember Morris Bart. Oh, yeah, one call. That's all I'm on your side. Yeah We're chip four stall. Yeah, whoa, you're Dude every town my the family that I went to live with, the dad worked for Chip Forstall, so I got to go meet him. Whoa, that was big. He was a celeb, he was a big shot.
Starting point is 01:14:12 In Louisiana, Moores Bart, Chip Forstall, Morgus, the presenter. Oh shit, yeah, how about a 1825, two lay. Whoa, you knew that one out, no, was it coming to? You're coming to me? Yeah, dude knew that one out? No, was it coming to? Yeah, yeah, dude, that was good, man. No one knows what the hell we're talking about, except for like three people. Yeah, they were just small.
Starting point is 01:14:32 Like everybody has their local like attorneys or grocery stores. Yeah, the billboards, you see. Yeah, Louisiana had theirs and those were some of the biggest ones around the area. Yeah, and you know what's fun is when you do the road and you just flip through the hotel TV and some like crazy Carl's fireworks Sunday, come on down. Have a wheel chair Wednesday. Crazy calls. We've got the ramps out.
Starting point is 01:14:57 Right, right. I love that because it feels homey. You feel like, oh, this is a little community here. Well, it's another thing that we've lost by everything just being so like, like when serious bought out all the radio stations, when everything just got so big, it's like the value of your hometown or whatever, unless you really care, there's not as many like little things that bring that have that bring people together like in a common space, you know?
Starting point is 01:15:21 100% those old auto guys, like they they were selling car use car guys were great. I'll see, I'll see. Let it have it. Let it have it. That was the guy by us dude. Yeah, that was like it was a furniture store. Well, there's that famous racist furniture ad that goes on, you know, there's like, bring up racist furniture store.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Races furniture is a funny horror movie. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,
Starting point is 01:15:50 he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,
Starting point is 01:15:58 he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, We're in the courtroom like he had the hat on sir. He was laid on the racist couch. He loves Asians. Man, what are you thinking about? Where are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:16:10 I will get to see we're talking about boners, racist furniture, special, uh oh yeah these these killer whales are running a muck. Yeah, well they killed a bunch of them at this. I saw this. There was a cruise ship pulling in a port. Where was this at? What? A lot of times on cruise line,
Starting point is 01:16:31 people go out and witness when the ship comes into port. It's like a big moment and people out there with their kids and like, hey, we're there, we're in. You know, Mexico, we're in some made up Mexico, like Plenty of Bayer. Yeah. Oh, have you been to Plentabaya? Right, right.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Every year, it's like a new place that never existed the year before. I know, like Talum. Yeah. Never about Talum. And then one day, that's all I hear about is every white person's going, well, we're summering in Talum.
Starting point is 01:16:56 Yeah, and we're all saying, and also seems kind of sex traffic, he doesn't it? Oh, yeah. There's a lot of that going on in the Mexico. It seems like a lot of people just like, a lot of that going on in the Mexico. It seems like a lot of people just like a lot of companies just flying chicks down there and banging them. Yeah, yeah, and war power to them.
Starting point is 01:17:12 Yeah, you're making the world a better, but not for them. They're like, right, right. A cruise line is apologized to every 1,000 of his passengers after one of its ships arrived at the port in the middle of a whale hunt, where dozens of the marine mammals I should be. Oh no. We're being slaughtered. which ships arrived at the port in the middle of a whale hunt, where dozens of the marine mammals I should be.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Oh no. We're being slaughtered. Ah. Aren't they endangered? Yeah, why were they doing it? Can we go up and see this? It's poor whales, man. Ah.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Incredibly disappointing that this hunt occurred at the time that our ship was in port. Oh, well, no wonder the orcas are pissed. Yeah, as has been, whaling still occurs in the Pharaoh Islands today. They've eaten pilot whale meat and blubbers since they first settled the islands, so it's just part of their tradition there. Today as in times past, the whale drive is a community activity open to all. Dan, see, he's funny how progressive people love brown people and immigrants, but they couldn't agree less with progressive people. They're like, we're going to kill animals.
Starting point is 01:18:15 There's a lot of gender roles. You know, like these old school tribe people or whatever you want to call them, they're wild. Oh, I see what you're saying. They're like, we should give all this place back to the native inhabitants, but the native inhabitants do stuff like this, which is something that progressive people would be totally again. Exactly, exactly. Like, we make a gay joke that's off-coloured and people are like, you know, cancel them. These guys are doing crazy shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Like, hitting their whammin' and stuff. Well, it's also like, I used to think about how like, they would sell like, like, it's fancy spa, they sell like mud baths and stuff. Yeah. But if you go to, but then they have countries, literally where kids are bathed in mud, and they're like, we gotta help them.
Starting point is 01:18:59 Right. Right. Yeah, cause 300 on. Oh, that's hilarious. You ever know what it's too about these spas. I did a gig in like San Diego, it was like a rich area. And it's all these hot moms with little dogs and their Mercedes.
Starting point is 01:19:12 And they go into a spa all day and get massaged in the kiwi on the eye and all that. And I'm like, who needs a spa less than you? These roofers or landscape, they need a spa day. They need a foot massage. Oh yeah, dude, imagine, have you seen that guy Vic blends that rolls up and cuts people's hair? No, like a drive-by cutting?
Starting point is 01:19:32 No, it's hard. It's consensual. Yeah, it's consensual. Okay, he pulls up. What? It's really neat guys on TikTok and he pulls up and it's mostly on he likes trimming up brothers, right? And really, which is, you know,
Starting point is 01:19:48 he favors a black community, I think. I haven't seen, the ones I've seen it's all a young black man that he's trimming, and it's cool, it's like, you know, it's a lot of times it's a guy, I saw him the other day, it was a garbage man, right? The guy's in a truck work, and he's like, hey man, won't you take a break for Tim,
Starting point is 01:20:03 you know, Tim minutes, let me tighten you up. Yeah. So he kinda like gets, you know, it's just like it's like a, it's pretty beautiful what he does. Okay, because right now it feels like a trap. Yeah, it does feel like a little weird. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:15 Give me your kid for 20 minutes. Yeah, this will be, uh, so he does that and then, oh shit, where are we talking about? Uh, okay, wait, shit. So he does that and then oh shit, where are we talking about? Okay, wait shit What was that Right before that though. Oh shit, I just had it. Oh
Starting point is 01:20:38 Spa oh, yeah to spa So who needs a spa less the mud bath? Right wouldn't be great if there was a foot massager that did what Vic Blends does. Oh, yeah. And he just rolls up on a couple of brothers like, Hey boy, y'all look like y'all that a tough day out here. I don't know if the bros would go for that. I would still be fucking wild. That would be wild. Hey, let me touch up them low nuggets, tell me.
Starting point is 01:21:00 You know what I'm saying, boy. I love, I love. Enciende la bea para abrir la puerta? Apaga la para cerrarla. Coge la mano. Ahora diga. Ábleme. Bienen a por ti.
Starting point is 01:21:25 La mejor película de terror del año, They're in the port. The best horror movie of the year, speak to me, it's the 9th of August 11th, Pulsar in the Banner to know more. That's why I'm so young, not to change something. I'm just a guy who's in a feat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:37 Because they're everywhere. Like, we like tits, but you don't really get to see tits out in the wild, but flip flops, open toe sandal, barefoot women, they're just there. That's true. I never thought about that. Must be nice. Yeah, it must be nice to live just in a smorgasbore. Like everywhere's a nudist colony.
Starting point is 01:21:54 Yeah, exactly. I mean, and you could be one of those guys like, hey, you coming in here, you got to take your shoes off, come to my house. I can't do that with a bra. You got to take your shoes off, go to my house. I can't do that with a bra. Yeah. And everybody wants a foot massage. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:11 Oh, yeah, that's the thing. You roll up, be like, hey, let me just, let me touch them hoofs, baby. Yeah, and they're like, please, say it a hard day in these heels. Oh, dude, if somebody came up right now, a strong, I would, I'd do it. I'd have to be a woman, though, for me to do it.
Starting point is 01:22:25 I don't want a man pushing around in my feet and feeling me like that. Now, I think I'd prefer a man. Really? Well, I don't want to, I got bad feet. I got a yellow toenail, a bunion, a canker, a hemorrhoid. It's bad down there. Why you got hemorrhoid?
Starting point is 01:22:40 Well, what do you got? Bunion. Oh, yeah. That's like a foot hemorrhoid. Look here, if you're shitting out of your foot, you're not doing good. Not there yet. Yeah, the roll up foot massage, that's not bad. What else was that thing in a mouth, dude?
Starting point is 01:22:59 So you guys are living in New York, though. Living in New York, where you're in the spouse, you feeling good about it? Feeling good, we're gonna buy a place in Brooklyn, like a bigger place with a yard and stuff. Mm-hmm, sorry. So that'll be fun. And yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:11 You see my boy Louie around, ever? Louie CK? Sure, he's around. I love him. Yeah, he's great. God, dude, I don't know if there's anybody funnier than him. I mean, he's definitely one of the best of all time. For sure.
Starting point is 01:23:23 Just his, like, I'll talk to him on the phone, and I'm not trying to humble brag or anything. I mean, I love, he just, and I'm laughing so hard. Yeah. He loves you. He really, I listened to that episode, and he really blew you, which is rare for him. It was nice of him.
Starting point is 01:23:39 He and I have become buddies. Oh, that's great. Yeah. It's again, like David Spage, did you ever think? Oh, I can't even imagine. I used to watch him on Comedy Central when I was in buddies. Oh, that's great. Yeah. It's again, like David Spage, did you ever think? Oh, I can't even imagine. I used to watch him on Comedy Central when I was in college. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:50 Crazy. Dude, yeah. That's what's great about comedy. It's like, if you're just some guitar, bar, guitar guy, you're never gonna meet Mick Jagger. He's the top, but we can meet top comedians. I've met Seinfeld, all these guys, and it's not that weird.
Starting point is 01:24:04 We're all comics. Yeah. There's less pretension in comedy. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, there's less pretension in it. Yeah, one crazy thing. So at the UFC, Shane Gillis had on Versace, huh? I yeah, that would be.
Starting point is 01:24:20 Has he changed her? That did not feel like him. He's always the black t-shirt guy. Yeah. I was like, wow, some of the, you know. Yeah, well, you get, you get out there with the Rogans and the UFC, it, you start changing, you know, you get that evil in you.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Yeah, you want to buy a tiger and, and buy like a cool car. Yeah, get a face tattoo. Yeah, yeah, Mike Tyson. What, what can mean to be most like you Yeah, get a face tattoo. Yeah, yeah Mike Tyson Who what community would be most likely you think to get a face tattoo? Well, do you got a neck that's close you can get yeah face tattoo tough Yeah, who would it be? Yeah, maybe Louis J. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good cuz he's like he's in a fighting and. He's in a jujitsu, you know, you know, he's a tough guy I don't think it would look bad on him. No, it would work right it would work. I think cat Williams could do something
Starting point is 01:25:14 Nutty on the face I can't decide what he would do. He's my number one podcast guest that I want to have oh his feet wouldn't hit the floor Yeah, he's so little is cute. Oh, he's tiny, but he's so fucking funny. Wow. Oh, yeah. I always thought he should have done comedians and cars with coffee. Just those two in a car together.
Starting point is 01:25:33 Couldn't be more different. Oh, man, that would have been gold. That had been so gold. Wow. Yeah, he does, he does, he's a Reena's. My friend used to open for him. He's got stories. Really?
Starting point is 01:25:43 Yeah, one time he was late apparently and He gets paid in cash and an arena. That's so you're making a lot of money And there's if you use two hands probably to put that bag on his back. That's expensive That's a lot of tons tons of cash, but he was late for the gig So he felt bad so he said pay me now and he was throwing the money out into the audience. Wow crazy And he's only famous from I guess he did some cup BT stuff, but I think he was just on a movie. Well, he did that comedy special in the green. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:15 Purple jacket, which one was it? He's got a couple, but yeah, he's so funny. Oh, he does have a face tattoo. Oh, I called it. Oh, he tattooed a go-t on. Damn, he does have a face tattoo. Oh, I called it. Oh, he tattooed a go-t on. Damn, he could have just waited. Yeah. You didn't need to do that.
Starting point is 01:26:31 Oh, there he is right there. That was the one. Poe little tink tink, remember that? Yeah, Pimp Chronicles. Cron it was so good. That's seeing him in an open mic. Like, how does a guy like that start? Was he like, a milk's weird? Yeah. or did he just come out of the gate that suit?
Starting point is 01:26:47 That's a great point. I couldn't imagine cat Williams that like is going to do his first comedy set Wild Well a lot of black eyes are just built that black people have some just built in funny black people have so much fun Joking and making fun of me. It's like, it's always like that, like the kids around the middle school table. Like a watch table. Totally. That energy keeps forever in the black community,
Starting point is 01:27:13 I feel like. I know, it's a lot of energy and ball busty. And they say, funny shit, like you got a, you got a head like a box cutter. And you're like, damn, how'd you think of that? Damn Larry got that box cutter. Yeah. Larry got that box cutter.
Starting point is 01:27:30 I know. You're a box cutter. Did it's a dance? Yeah, exactly. Never in. Never in. Damn, I was hoping that box cutter they wouldn't catch on.
Starting point is 01:27:39 Damn Larry worked for UPS with that head. That's one nice thing about growing up with Louisiana. We were exposed to a lot of that. That's a good point, man. And there was always, you always wanted to make black people laugh. I mean, if you could get the, and also, a lot of black, when I was growing up, you know, a lot of black guys were real scary.
Starting point is 01:28:00 You know, there was a lot of violence so you had to fuck you to be like, I gotta make this guy fucking laugh. Oh, yeah, yeah, violence so you had to fall you to be like, I got to make this guy fucking well. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. He doesn't have a dad. Yeah, yeah, somebody's got to fucking bring some. I have to at least bring like, yeah, there was something about that, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:17 It was like if, because you had to find some way to communicate with by it was tough back then it was different. It was a little different. It was definitely different. There was a clear tension. You know, like you would walk up in the record with scratch. It was different. It was a little different. It was definitely different. There was a clear tension. You know, like you would walk up in the record with scratch. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:28:28 You felt definitely uncomfortable. Yeah. You think that tension will ever go away in the world like the tension from, because there's also a lot of like blood. People always, racism always gets blamed on white people, right? Sure. I feel like which is very exhausting because as a modern day person,
Starting point is 01:28:46 you can't do anything to go into the past. I know, I know, it's tough. And I get it, I get the anger. Yeah, if I could go into the past, like you know, 600 years ago, or something and work for the Coast Guard or whatever. Sure. You know, I would have shut all that stuff down.
Starting point is 01:29:00 Yeah, yeah, but you think, maybe, but it was so normal then. You might have just gone with it It's like being a Nazi. I don't I don't know. I think I would have I don't think I would have either just because I want to be liked So I don't care what you look like. Yeah, I'm still gonna tap dance for you. Yeah, that's a good point You know, but yeah, that is tough But do you think that uh and then I think the hatred and stuff like that it it just gets stuck in D, sometimes you get stuck in DNA, you know? Of course.
Starting point is 01:29:27 I think some of that stuff takes a, like, if your grandparents went through a ton of pain or an unfair life, then I think that gets in the DNA and it takes generations for it to pass through, right? Yeah, I agree, but we'll find anyway to hate another group. It doesn't have to just be skin color. You're like Rwanda, what is that? The shoot to's and the she-ite. Oh, yeah. The two's in the Tootsies. Yeah, they're both black, but they hate each other. We'll always find a way.
Starting point is 01:29:54 You know, the left and right. It's, it's, it's all you need now. Yeah, I wonder if that is, yeah, you know, I think a lot about that is that just part of nature, because nature is that too. You know, a zoo, if you, if you took the cages down in a zoo, half those animals would immediately kill the other half. Exactly. It's like jail. They always go Aryan nation, black guy, Mexican guy.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Yeah. And if you're Asian, you're getting fucked. Yeah, dude. Oh, you're though. You're like a little Christmas hang-o. You're a little sitting duck sauce. Yeah. Oh, that's good, dude. Yeah, it's just tribal.
Starting point is 01:30:36 It's in the DNA. We had to survive like that for hundreds of years. And sometimes I wonder, do we ever get to a point where there isn't any of that? Or is that just, you know, like, will that just always be nature? And this idea that one day everything will be completely harmonious. Well, it's better now than it's ever been. Yeah, I think I especially with young people you see that.
Starting point is 01:30:59 Definitely, definitely. Like, you'll see young kids of like different ethnicities and stuff hanging out and it's totally chill. Yeah. I'm like, Holy, you don that hanging out and it's totally chill. Yeah. I'm like, Holy, you don't even realize this guy's a Chinaman? I know he's got the chopsticks, but everything. I was like, what are you kids doing? I know. Yeah, if you want to be racist now, you have to have a chart.
Starting point is 01:31:16 You literally have to know math. Like you have to be able to divide. Yes. And figure it out. But now it's, it used to be racial divide or gay divide or men, women divide. Now it's, oh, you disagree with my ideology or whatever, you're no friend of mine.
Starting point is 01:31:32 Yeah. It's all become opinion based now instead of color based. So we still have hatred. We just put it into a different gutter. Yeah, it's just kind of, you know, that's the thing being alive is just interesting because you're like, okay, will this kind of, you know, that's the thing being it, being alive is just interesting because you're like, okay, will this kind of stuff always be there? I know, I just think you can't get rid of everything.
Starting point is 01:31:53 And it's all cyclical. Like I saw this thing in the 70s where like, battle of the sex is men and women aren't getting along and you're like, oh, that's just like, no, we're not that different. Yeah. But you know, you ever see a dog about to take a nap and he circles the rug three times and sits down. Oh, yeah. You know what that is. It's a sundown or isn't it? Well, what is that? Oh, a dog. You know what, it circles around, then it sits. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. They're flattening the grass from the wolf days. That's just in the DNA. So that shit is imprinted.
Starting point is 01:32:25 Yeah. So I'm just saying like, we're always gonna be tribal. Right, yeah, I think about this. Like the other day, I don't like being in traffic that much, right? And if it's on the interstate sometimes and there's a hold up, I'll go around the side. Sure, right?
Starting point is 01:32:41 I'll just go, I'm willing to get up there and see the cop and he's like, hey, you're going to jail. That's fine. I'd rather go I'm willing to get up there and see the cop and he's like, Hey, you're going to jail That's fine. I'd rather go to jail than sit back there. Yeah, I wonder why somebody's holding me up I'm with you But then I realized the other day what if if like 20 cars just said you know what? Fuck it. We're not doing the rules anymore. Yeah How how far after that tipping point does that you, like if one police precinct gets taken over
Starting point is 01:33:07 by a group of fucking anarchists or whatever. Oh, yeah, it's happened. How, like, the scale didn't have to tip much before everything goes into anarchy. Oh, dude, I was so true. We had a hurricane in New York a couple of years ago and all the power went out. It took 20 minutes for it to just become martial law.
Starting point is 01:33:25 You heard gunshot, glass breaking, a woman, ahhhh! You didn't know what was going on. It was pitch black in the city with millions of people. It happened in 20 minutes. It went to full chaos. Yeah. Like it's so fragile the line that we're on of like Oregon like that.
Starting point is 01:33:40 I know. It's basically lines in the road. Yes. They keep us in shape, but it's really easy to drive over that line. Yeah, and that's. I know. It's basically lines in the road. Yes. They keep us in shape, but it's really easy to drive over that line. Yeah, and that's what I realized. I was like, oh, I can just do this. Like, of course I can face some repercussions,
Starting point is 01:33:52 but if everybody right now decided to do this, then what are the cops gonna do? Right, if everybody, yeah. All it takes is enough people saying, fuck this. Yes. Right now at the same time. Exactly. That's how gaze got marriage.
Starting point is 01:34:05 Yeah. They just enough of them got together like, we're gonna break shit or fuck each other or fuck you in the ass. So you better let us get married. That's a good point. Once again, yeah, that's a, and that was the move Gadoo should have done.
Starting point is 01:34:16 Like, hey, governor, we're coming off. You're gonna, somebody's fucking you, but he's like, all right. All right, do whatever you want. I knew what you want. Yeah, go to to go to Claire's Make it happen man. You can have Claire's you can have this neighborhood Man, Gaisle fix a neighborhood. Yeah, there's something special about Gaisle
Starting point is 01:34:38 They're really are there are magical people because they can't reproduce but they keep popping up They're not even worried like Jews are like we got to we got to make more of us you know we're going away but Gays like we're we're gonna be all right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. God's doing it for us. Somebody is. Yeah. Well, they had that, you know, Kennedy was on Rogan talking about that atrazine. Can you look that up where they put some frogs in this chemical called atrazine. they put it in the water where the frogs lived and some of the frogs their gender changed.
Starting point is 01:35:09 No way. Over time. And then he was saying that there's a level and don't quote me, maybe you can quote me on this if you can bring it up. That there's a level of atras in the water supply in some places. Oh shit. So that could be part of the reason why suddenly you have people whose gender kind of seems like in the wind.
Starting point is 01:35:30 Whoa, fascinating and scary. What do we got here? If you expose frogs to after-zene male frogs, it changes their sex and they can actually bear young. They can lay eggs, fertile eggs. Transphibian. Yeah, that's transphibians, dude. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:35:47 And is, yeah, find another article on that. See if we can see an article where we can not see it. It's the same thing. Alex Jones got yelled at for making that frogs game meme. It's the exact same thing. Oh, it is. But is there another article if you go down anymore? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:04 The herbicide atrazine is one of the most commonly applied pesticides in the world. So it's in a lot of their spraying and run crops. As a result, atrazine is the most commonly detected pesticide contaminant of ground surface and drinking water. Atrazine is also a potent endocrine disruptor that is active at low ecologically relevant concentrations. Previous studies showed that atrazine adversely affects amphibian larval development. The present study demonstrates that reproduct, the reproductive consequences of atrazine exposure
Starting point is 01:36:35 and adult amphibians were both demasculinized and completely feminized as adults. 10% of the exposed genetic males developed in a functional females that copulated with unexposed males and produced viable eggs. Damn. Wow.
Starting point is 01:36:53 Scary stuff. I mean, is this legitimate? What side is this from? This has been a thing for a long time actually. Okay. After seeing induces complete feminization and chemical crustacean in male African clawed frogs. Dude, and if you can do that to an African,
Starting point is 01:37:08 you could easily do it to a white. That's true, yeah. African makes everything kicks it all up and African be killer bees or like, oh shit. Yeah, enough of it with him. Yeah, but some local honey bee dude. Oh, forget about it. I was at that.
Starting point is 01:37:20 Yeah. But no, African is, you know, it's tough. I mean, Africans are made out of tough. They, but no, African is, you know, it's tough. I mean, Africans are made out of tough. They, you know, they have tougher head. They're tough. They're a fucking tough tough people. They're tough people. Um, and they have the hiss, you know, dude, I remember looking into an African dude's eyes one time. Oh, you could see, bro, I feel like you could see a fire like 30,000 years ago. I believe it. You don't want to fuck with them.
Starting point is 01:37:46 Like the timeline, you know? Yeah, he was just digging a diamond mine four years ago. And now he's selling a person, Broadway. Whereas you look into some, you know, you look into some honky's eyes over there in Topeka, you know. Yeah, it's done, but- It's somebody having a muffin two weeks ago. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:38:05 It's a chick holding a small dog in there. That's it with a yoga mat. Um, what type of a we just about to get into? Uh, wrap up on the show. Oh, shit. I'm going to jump on stage with you. Is that okay? Please, that'd be great.
Starting point is 01:38:19 I want to see this new old bit. Yeah. And I don't want you to have to work too much tonight. Oh, yeah. I'm on fumes, but we're going to have fun. Yeah, I had to get, I mean don't want you have to work too much tonight. So yeah, I'm on fumes, but we're gonna have fun Yeah, I had to get I mean, I didn't sleep last night. I just went to the airport and And yeah, I got a new like disguise when I that I wear when I go through the airport. Oh really? Yeah What do you I guess you can't give it away?
Starting point is 01:38:40 Yeah, I probably Kim, but I'll I'll put a patron. Okay. Because I don't have the shades on me that I wear. It's just a full clan hood. Just walking through an airport. Credit cards, signing up for your credit cards. No, there was something we were just, oh, do you think? We gotta worry that I don't wanna get rose-and here. Really? Well, I just don't, sometimes I that your episodes get clipped like crazy.
Starting point is 01:39:09 Oh, yeah. They got, yeah, that was kind of crazy, man. But I had a lot of people reach out and support. Yeah. And then Elon Musk shared the episode. That's insane. Which if he can, if they could find a way where you could say post episode onto, if they could just find a way to make a player on there.
Starting point is 01:39:31 Oh, like a little screen, a TV thing. Right, right, because now you can put a full episode, but if they could make it where you, if you click on that, like, you know, Twitter has a little box as whatever you want to watch. So you're on your laptop, you see like this little, okay, this is here, I can click on it, make it bigger. If you clicked on something that had a video in it, right?
Starting point is 01:39:51 If it went, if it expanded into a bigger player, like an actual like, okay, you can navigate the screen, easier, just for the videos, things. That's like a streaming. Right, if it's, yeah, if just when you clicked on that, it expanded into a stream, it into, immediately that square went into a, like morphed into a streaming platform of sorts, right? That's good.
Starting point is 01:40:14 Then it would be really fascinating because now you have an avid player, right? Yes. You can put stuff in and they can move on the timeline easier. I think that's what they're trying to get to. I think that's a great idea and the porn on the timeline easier. I think that's what they're trying to get to. I think that's a great idea, and the porn on Twitter is wild. That's another thing, because it's like, yes,
Starting point is 01:40:29 you're trying to learn anything you're jerking all. Yeah, you got an animal attack, and then anal. Yeah, it's a lot. It's Colin Quinn always says, Twitter's like giving yourself schizophrenia, because he's just a million opinions and ideas and hate and anger and a sandwich coming at you at once It's a lot of shit. Yeah, yeah, it is. It's all it's it's like and I think we're starting to realize that this stuff is really bad for a brain
Starting point is 01:40:53 Oh, 100% and it's defeating people. It's like people don't have their own ideas anymore And I notice I have to give my brain to I have to say I cannot look through stuff you got to do it Because that's the the war these days. You wanna Vietnam these days. The enemy is your, whatever's trying to take your attention. I know, and they're so good at it. They got that algo TikTok. I got twerking Chinese women and shit.
Starting point is 01:41:17 And you're like, how can I turn this off? Yeah, it's like Down syndrome guy who loves pro wrestling. You're like, oh, black people seeing magic. Yeah, he can't beat it. Yeah. Yeah, and it just won't right when you almost get a little bit bored, they flip it to a new thing. You're like, what's this?
Starting point is 01:41:31 Yeah. So. Did you know historically, yeah, I get a lot of this historical things too that come through. And then the murder of the crime report, co-burger. They just found a glove. Dude, I was thinking about this man about like With a lot of people that come out to see comedians and I Notice I have a tough time like do you ever have a do you have a tough time feeling proud of yourself? Do you think of course? Yeah, it's hard to absorb that
Starting point is 01:42:03 I'm working on it. You got to you You gotta sit and just tell yourself to be grateful. Well, being grateful, I think, but yeah, I can feel grateful, I think, but I think feeling proud of myself, I'm noticing, because I notice a lot of times people are like, maybe you should be proud of yourself, you know? And it doesn't even land anywhere with me. I know.
Starting point is 01:42:21 And I believe them and I know that. And it's not like I don't want to. But it's almost like, no, it's like you never learned that. Like there was never any knowledge put into you of like, this is how you feel proud of yourself. This is what pride feels, you know, like. Yeah, I have the same thing. Why do we have that? I don't know. Because one negative comment, I'll, I'll sit on that for three weeks. Yeah. But the pride thing, nothing. I'll sit on that for three weeks. Yeah. But the pride thing, nothing.
Starting point is 01:42:45 Yeah, why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to feel? Because proud of yourself, you're saying somebody saying, hey, you should feel good about yourself for this thing. To me, a lot of times, if I start to feel proud of myself, it goes to ego. It's like you should. Which you don't want that either.
Starting point is 01:43:01 Right, right. And you really don't, you really want to try and stay away from that. So yeah, I don't know that either. Right, right. And you really don't, you really want to try and stay away from that. So yeah, I don't know. It's interesting. I wonder too if it's something that, and I'm not trying to have self-pity or blame parents or anything, but it's something that you have to learn as a kid. Like, do, because that's a weird thing you wouldn't think to teach your kid.
Starting point is 01:43:18 Yeah, but how do you teach being proud? You know, like I have, I get, I don't get pride with comedy, even though we should, look, you've built an empire. You've got your big house with the studio and the specials and money and all this. But then that does nothing for me. And then if I buy out a party and somebody goes, that's a good question.
Starting point is 01:43:37 I'm like, oh, I had a good question. Oh, totally. I love that. But the comedy thing is hard to take in. Yeah, man. And it's funny, you know, do it. It's like, and I have a, yeah, I have a nice home here and it's nothing crazy. This is beautiful, you know, thank you.
Starting point is 01:43:53 Yeah, it is, but it is nice, right? I'm happy to have, it's funny. I felt, I felt as a shame to show my home, as I did to show my apartment that we lived in when I was a kid. Just the different kind of shame. Like big. Well, like I don't want people thinking, I don't want people seeing that I don't have anything.
Starting point is 01:44:16 And then I don't want people seeing that I do have something. Yeah, I totally get it. I know what you mean. Cause you'll get zinged either way. Yeah, I can't figure out what it is. It's just like no matter. You don't want to stand out.
Starting point is 01:44:28 You want to be in the middle. We want to blend. If you're poor, but I was like, look at the poor loser. And if you're rich, like, look at this asshole. Yeah. And I think I always, I think I, I aww rich people when I was growing up was always the nemesis dude.
Starting point is 01:44:40 Of course, still is. When they found those submarine queefs, they were like, all these poor guys, and they go, they were like all these poor guys and they go hey the brilliant errors and go I fuck them. I'm like wait what? Yeah still people with feelings. I never got that rich hate. But it's 100% right in the movies it was always the yeah the fucking rich guy and I think yeah and I don't think part of you never change is I always hate the fucking rich guy. Yeah yeah you know because I think also I know I could easily the part of you never change is I'll always hate the fuck of rich guy. Yeah, yeah. You know? Because I think also I know I could easily, the part of me that's the poor guy will always, is always going to be there.
Starting point is 01:45:10 Of course. The only things that are easier is just knowing that my rent will be paid and that I'm going to have food. That's nice. But outside of that, it's like how do I, I want to, I want to figure out better things to do with earning money or with making things fair in the world, I think. I don't know. But do you ever think if you had, if you started feeling proud, you might work less. Like that non-pride is kind of motivating you to chase it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:36 Oh, yeah. There's something about like the desire to want to do things that you're so fortunate that that's in you. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of a double-edged sword because you're never happy with your work. So you keep working.
Starting point is 01:45:50 But if you were happy with it, you might just take a break. Yeah, or slow down. Yeah, just interesting to think about it. And I'm sure a lot of people deal with that. And so that's why I wanted to think about that, about how hard it is to accept pride. So it makes you wonder, is it good,
Starting point is 01:46:05 is it a good thing or a bad thing? Cause it sucks, you can't accept it, but it's also keeping you a fire in your dick. Yeah. And you need that. You need people that have a fire. Like, what if guys like, you know, some of the greatest creators of our time, you know,
Starting point is 01:46:19 if Einstein, if, Mattel, Oh yeah. If Tyson, you know. Chicken or the boxer? Chicken. Okay. But if people just got,
Starting point is 01:46:34 like after his first nugget, he's like, I'm done. Right. And he never makes the meals. Yeah, you see? It pays to be insecure. Yeah. He keeps you going. Yeah. There's some value in all of it. Um,
Starting point is 01:46:46 soup to nuts. That's your new special. Oh, yeah. And do you plan a tour right? I've heard me. Do people get these plans? Is it matter to you? What are you thinking about? I got a big theater tour, uh, selling like hot cakes, but I hopefully after the special it sells more. We start adding shows. But again, I need some new fucking material. You'll come if any of you come up But then fucking about tomorrow. Oh, thanks. You're so funny, man Well, try I'll try anything. I'm throwing shit against the wall. You'll see tonight. It's gonna be a shit show. Yeah, good Good, man. I'm happy to be over there. Thanks for letting me jump on. Hey anytime Mark Norman, we can people can check out your tour online on your website everything. Oh, yeah, Mark Norman, we can, people can check out your tour online, on your website, everything.
Starting point is 01:47:26 Oh yeah, Yep, and dude, thanks for making time, dude, and congrats on all your success, bro. Thank you, it's always a pleasure to see you there, Fatty. Yeah, I'm proud of you, man. I'm proud of you. Couple of Louisiana boys made good. What the hell?
Starting point is 01:47:40 I mean, if you would have showed us in an open mic, I would have gone, these guys are going nowhere. And then here we are are sitting on some racist furniture Yeah, oh this thing is fucking I feel my warm enough Yeah, I better slur Set the cool in in oh, yeah, um alright mark. Thank you brother. Thank you. Praise Allah Now Brazella. Can't see it in my balls But it's gonna take

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