This Past Weekend - E504 Matt McCusker

Starting point is 00:00:00 Everyone's got a thirst, a drive to be the next big thing, to put the world on notice. If you answer when your thirst calls, Sprite's for you. Sprite's for the makers and creators, the visionaries putting in the work to build their dreams. Whether you're shooting a cinematic masterpiece on your phone, filling notebooks with sketches, or up all night turning your bedroom into the booth, thirst is everything. Obey your thirst. Right. I have some new tour dates to announce.

Starting point is 00:00:33 I will be in Cork, Ireland on June 9th at Live at the Marquis. Tickets for this show go on sale Tuesday, May 21st at 2 p.m. local time We also have tickets remaining in New York, New York on May 31st Belfast UK on June 6th, London June 16th, Idaho Falls Salt Lake City and Las Vegas, Nevada. We will be down there on July 5th and 6th

Starting point is 00:01:08 for the 4th of July weekend. Get all your tickets at thetheovon.com slash T-O-U-R and thank you so much for your support. Today's guest is a comedian. He's a podcaster. He's the cohost of Matt and Shane's secret podcast. He has a special that just premiered last year called the speed of light. He's touring now everywhere.

Starting point is 00:01:36 I'm grateful to get to spend time with him. Today's guest is Matt McCusker. I'm going to fall, I've been stinging I'm going to stay Well, what have you been watching? Have you been watching NBA finals or war in Gaza? More war in Gaza, honestly. Yeah, I haven't caught a lot of the finals. Yeah. But yeah, I'm seeing I'm being, you'm being bombarded with the footage of the war. Opinions about it, everyone, people have a different take.

Starting point is 00:02:30 Yeah, people have, I guess, a lot of different takes over there. I don't even know what inning it is in, but. I think it's in overtime. I think they've been going for a while. Yeah, it seems like it's kind of, yeah, you feel like a referee would step in. Yeah, it seems like it's kind of uh... Yeah, you feel like they, a referee would step in Yeah, you think?

Starting point is 00:02:48 And mitigate it because it feels like it's like a ten run rule genocide over there. Yeah, that's the uh... That's like the popular opinion that they're being totally genocided. They throw out the kids and you're like damn that's terrible. Yeah, then you get people going, hey, why can't Israel defend itself and you go all right? That's that's a fair point too. Oh, yeah, no, that's definitely a fair point. Yeah, I have no idea man I think it's I think it's awful and it's like I hear a lot of people talk about it with certainty and I'm like Yeah, sure. Yeah, anytime I watch a video about pro-palestine. I'm like, okay, I see that then we had RFK on our podcast yesterday He was like actually Israel rules and we're're like okay Those are good points to but it's it's very bad from what I understand the footage

Starting point is 00:03:28 I see is really bad, and you know I just I hope they can figure it out But it looks like they're gonna have to a lot more people are gonna have to die And then they're gonna maybe figure it out because the US could shut it down couldn't they it seems like we could yeah It seems like we could jump in and shut it down, you know, but we fund Israel I just don't like that Netanyahu. I don't like I don't get in yet. Yeah, who got yeah, he's a shady character That guy seems like a just um Just yeah like a control pervert or something. Yeah, he seems like a like for real a bad guy He seems like a real deal bad guy. Just look at like oh, that's the bad guy

Starting point is 00:04:02 If you asked a four-year-old right like who's the bad guy? They would immediately Also whenever someone's been the president for like 27 years That's usually the case where it's like all right the US should go to war with both of them We should start bombing Israel and Palestine until they both stop Maybe I don't know I've always thought we should give Mississippi to Palestine. That's not bad. One of them is going to get Mississippi. Loser gets Mississippi.

Starting point is 00:04:31 Or you know what I'm saying? Give Palestine a place here, you know? That'd be cool. I'd be down with that. Because then at least the people would have a place to be, you know, where they could True. Like not be in competition, I guess, with their neighbors and live at peace. But yeah, I don't know a ton about it. I just feel like a certain way. You know?

Starting point is 00:04:53 Yeah. I watched Norman Finkelstein and I'm like, holy shit, this guy. And I'm like, he's Jewish. He's got the inside track. And then I watch people talk about him like he's a piece of shit. And it's like, dude, it's a bad thing. The student protests are crazy, too Then you have peace demonstrations that fight each other over the issue, and it's like it's kind of LARPing

Starting point is 00:05:11 Like when the college kids start like it's the renaissance fair I mean, I hate you know I don't mean and I don't mean like belittle like that, but then it's like and then the craziest part was At Ole Miss they started yelling USA. It's like and then the craziest part was at Ole Miss they started yelling USA It's like really yeah, which side was yelling USA. Oh the frat boys the frat boys Yeah, came in and they were like don't bring the any of this shit around here They're kind of playing risk in real life there. They were American. They came in like yeah, dude fuck don't touch the flag America rules yeah, yeah, I think when people start taking down the flag, I guess that makes total sense too, you know Yeah, you know, you can you can fight about anything really, you know

Starting point is 00:05:48 Yeah, that's one thing to go to like a news story and just be like, all right on this team I'm gonna fight these guys. I think sometimes you think oh maybe we're past war but maybe that's just a Side effect of living in America and not realizing that a lot of people still live in like a lot of conflict, you know Yeah, no, it does does it seems more and more ridiculous It seems like like back in the day so it was normal You know at least back then like slavery was a worldwide institution that everyone was like yeah This is just how it is and yeah I wonder if war is gonna become that in like 50 years where it's like dude you guys are going to war it's like

Starting point is 00:06:19 Oh, that's shitty. It's like we didn't know because it is it's insane But it's like if someone attacks you you have to attack them back to stop them from attacking you. So it's one of those things that's hard. It's hard to stop. It'd be nice, but it does seem more and more ridiculous. Especially when you have like the politicians who are like, we gotta love everyone, we need to like include, marginalize, and they're like, go bomb the fuck out of those guys. You're like, alright, that's for sure. that's a weird change of pace but yeah yeah that's it yeah you start to realize like oh this it's all a bunch of bullshit kind of like it's all like yeah I don't even know what I'm trying it's like no it's absurd it wars becoming absurd now because it's just kind of like you can see why it's happening I feel like it used to be

Starting point is 00:07:04 this mirage like we're fighting for the country and stuff and now it's just kind of like we can see why it's happening I feel like it used to be this mirage like we're Fighting for the country and stuff and now it's like well now people are like what do you mean? You don't even care about our country like our government's just letting millions of people in Eric Adams just said that they should let illegal immigrants. This is the fucking most insane thing I've ever heard He said they should let illegal immigrants be lifeguards at pools, which is a job that is apparently in high demand, because we don't have enough people doing the job.

Starting point is 00:07:39 That's, I mean, dude, I had a community pool in Philly that it would get shut down because there were no lifeguards and used to drive me crazy. Oh. So it's a real thing. There are, it would get shut down because there were no lifeguards and used to drive me crazy. Oh. So it's a real thing. There is, weirdly there's a lack of lifeguards. And like, at least in Philadelphia, they were hard to come across.

Starting point is 00:07:53 I mean, it's pretty funny. But he said because they're excellent swimmers. That states those jobs that we are in high demand, we could expedite. How do we have a large body of people that are in our city and country that are excellent swimmers and at the same time we need lifeguards and the only obstacle is that uh so you're saying illegal aliens are great swimmers? That's kind of like a setup for a pretty easy joke about you know, Mexican dudes. Well Mexican, not Mexican, they didn't, like there's not even, it's all desert. I mean I could see maybe Cubans, I could see Puerto Ricans maybe, Nova Scotians or somebody that would have to swim here. But...

Starting point is 00:08:45 Well, that's the joke. Isn't that the joke though? Mexican dudes would say they swam here across some river, but I mean, I would say... I don't know, did they? I think so. But what river could it be? I could be wrong. I could be...

Starting point is 00:08:58 Oh, the Rio Grande? Yeah. I think that's like the final, like in the Oregon Trail when you have to do that final river. Hmm. Yeah, I think that's the final thing they gotta do. Well, that's not too, that's like knee deep. Oh wow, yeah, maybe that is the final thing.

Starting point is 00:09:10 There's some of them congratulating their friends. Yeah, they gotta put out like an inner city Baywatch as like lifeguard propaganda to get people stoked on lifeguarding again. Dude, yeah, why don't we have a Mexican Baywatch, a big, breasty lifeguard at the border. That's what I'm saying. That was when lifeguarding was cool. Now, like nobody wants to be a lifeguard because it's kind of like, you know,

Starting point is 00:09:33 it's not as cool as it was. Yeah. And Pam Anderson, they could have, yeah, and just like a bunch of band-aids floating in the pool, it'd be fun, it'd be tight. It'd be really cool. Oh. Dude, I would go, I would go run across the border every day

Starting point is 00:09:46 and just start drowning, get some CPR. True, dude. They gotta fire something up, because it does suck when you wanna go to a pool in your neighborhood and they're like, oh, we're closed, and you're like, why? And we don't have lifeguards, and you're like, dude, you're fucking serious.

Starting point is 00:09:59 But how do you not have a lifeguard? Usually they would let a 15-year-old or 16-year-old kid who was taller than some of the other kids and He took a CPR class. Yeah, right or learned it online They would let him be the lifeguard. How was that? When did that stop? I don't know I think it still is kids. I think they just don't want to work I guess I don't know what it is because it's an easy. It's a cake job, dude You're just sitting there on the high chair. You were roll a light card? No, I've just I've watched them. Yeah, I've been watching them for a long time, but it's like it seems easy

Starting point is 00:10:28 You just chose in a pool. It's easy. The ocean is real. Yeah, pool. It's like dude. Just keep an eye make sure nobody drowns Oh, yeah pool that guy wasn't watching kids A lot of times seem like he was just trying to smash like any chicks or moms or whatever like there'd be four drowning kids and He'd be like over kids and he'd be over there fucking just doing chest compressions on a divorce. That's the perks of the job. That's crazy kids don't want to do that. It's probably like 15 bucks an hour hooking up with moms. Sunshine and it's the best your body is probably the healthiest you're gonna be yeah, you still have

Starting point is 00:11:08 Exosome you still have like cord blood in your System or whatever yeah, man you get the young yeah like the platelets and all that stuff Yeah And you can also do that thing where everyone has public pools you all have everyone has to get out for some reason They'll be like out on like every hour like everyone out of the pool Yeah, for no never gets back in so you could like start lending a couple ladies like you guys stay you guys out Yeah, like a water bouncer kind of Hot chicks in first Yeah for no reason. Whenever he gets back in so you can like start letting a couple ladies like you guys stay, you guys out. Yeah like a water bouncer kind of.

Starting point is 00:11:28 Hot chicks in first you know. At that age you were so primed you could just point at your dick and it would ejaculate you know. Yeah man. When you were like 15. Yeah you're doing like they're like at least the ones on the beach they do like insane conditioning too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:41 So yeah man you could be you're jacked, you're ripped. I think kids just aren't jacked that they're not as jacked anymore, so they're probably ashamed of their bodies Yeah, they're pale and kind of like you know not as ripped as they were before you think so yeah kids are not ripped like they Were they all wear fucking shirts now every little kid at the beach wears a fucking sun protective shirt. It's like let me see your pecs Trying to see how they're built. I want to make sure we're not degenerating. Actually, I'm at a kid at the beach. There's a picture of a kid I met years ago and we kept in touch over letter.

Starting point is 00:12:14 We've been pen pals for a few years. Really? Yeah. What was he wearing? Oh, he wasn't wearing much. He's kind of a thicker kid, I think, as one of his parents had passed away. Oh, damn.

Starting point is 00:12:24 You find it, bring it out. There we go And that kid was like nine one of those big kids big nine year that's good though, that's that's his cocoon he's about to Totally morph who's the dude? That's me buddy. What? Yeah, bro. When was this that's back when you could Wear what you wanted before the government said everything When was did you look great man? Thanks, dude? Yes, I'm saying like that kid should be more ripped than you just by laws of nature I mean again, I'm not shaming them. Obviously. I was a fat young kid too. So that kid ripped into some cookies Dude, that dude was a fucking snack daddy. He was a little fucking snack serpent. Were you fat when you were younger?

Starting point is 00:13:07 No, I was fat. I remember there was like one fall or something. Everybody in our town got fat or something. I think something bad happened and then everybody got fat and then like in the spring everybody like kind of thinned out. Yeah. Seventh grade is like peak fat. Seventh grade for kids you get it like really fat and then puberty kind of like shoots you up. Yeah, did you did you go through a thicker time in your life? Yeah, I was pretty chubby I wanted to play football and I stopped growing so I was like I'm just gonna get huge So I did like the gallon of milk a day thing and like eighth grade going into ninth and I just got fat as hell I was like super fat. I just got fat and I got cut from the football team You're a newborn and then he got cut from the football team. Yeah, you're just drinking a gallon of milk a day.

Starting point is 00:13:45 You're a newborn. They used to say that, if you drink a gallon of milk a day, you just put on tons of mass. You know the Cozy Shack rice puddings? They're these big tubs of rice pudding. I would crush one of those every day. Bring up a couple of rice puddings. Dude, Cozy Shack, that was my shit.

Starting point is 00:14:01 I used to crush them in class. So I got really big. I just wasn't tall enough. I played D. End and then I stopped growing. I'm 5'. Yeah, those things man. God damn it, man. Really good Yeah, they're so good. You guys ever eat cozy shake. It's good man. I used to crush a tub It was like nine servings and I would sit there in class and put it down. They called me Fat Matt I had a serious fat period really, but I did own it I really owned it my screen name my AOL screen name was Fat Matt Oh, and I got kicked off of AOL because I had written

Starting point is 00:14:27 something it was like a rap lyric about gun violence in a chat room no I was just like a Beastie Boys song and then Columbine happened the next day so someone reported my day before post as like goading Columbine I didn't do that so I got kicked off AOL I got reported my parents kicked me off AOL and then I came back I got kicked off like a year At least my I think my parents restricted me for that long I came back my new screen name fat Matt strikes back that I came back. Yeah, I came back Oh, yeah, like a Jedi or whatever return of the Fed I

Starting point is 00:14:57 See I did I got kicked off of a well man sucked. That was the shit after school just put up your chance There's the girls in your class. You're like, yo, what's up? That was the shit did after school just put up your chats. There's the girls in your class. You're like yo, it's up Well chat the instant messenger now, I don't know what I did I used to just went home and felt bad about myself for a couple hours But yeah, I would probably rather do it online to other people but then we started this podcast Well, you could go back then you would do on it instant messenger when it was time for dinner you put like an away message and be like, you come up with something cool like yo I'm not here right now I'll be back. Yeah at the mall.

Starting point is 00:15:30 Yeah at the mall. Did you crush the mall too when you were younger? Have to go to work. Dude we used to go camp outside of the mall because it was about maybe, the mall was probably 17 miles away, it was kind of near this Pizza Hut. We would go camp out there. So we'd go on Saturday, bring a tent, camp out, and go back in Sunday morning and just do everything that they had in there.

Starting point is 00:15:52 They had all types of shops for a while. They had a, what was that one that had all the stuff for kids kind of like, or like weird shit? It would have like a lava lamp and then like a pride flag. Oh, Spencer's. Yeah. Yeah, you can get like a dildo. They just sold like dildos and lava lamps and like attitude posters and shit. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:17 It was like you can do it, you know, and then it'd be a dildo. That doesn't even... What is this about? They had like gag gifts. You can get like the small pecker condom, which was like a teeny tiny condom and like handed to someone They'd be like, oh dude, what the fuck? Yeah. Why'd you do this to me? It was the worst. Yeah, or you could get like a condom that had like pepper on it This shit that was like

Starting point is 00:16:38 And you'd see somebody cutting one up into like a bowl of chili or like nobody knew how you used some of the products there dude. Yeah, Spencer's was like blacklight alien posters like wildly sexual gifts. Yeah. And yeah, it was the... It did well man, that place, that store was around forever. They had, I believe they had some racial gifts too. I would imagine. One time I saw a hat there, I remember this anyway.

Starting point is 00:17:06 I saw a hat, it said the N word on the front, right? On the back, it said, just joking across the back. So you... And I'm like, first of all, and we're like trying them on or whatever. And I'm like, the odds of first of all, if someone sees the front, they're gonna get pissed, right? The last thing you wanna do to that person is is show them the back turn your back to them

Starting point is 00:17:28 Dude, they're gonna beat the shit. Mid-punch like oh shit my bad. I know you're just fucking around That's crazy Yeah, they what happened to Spencer's let's find that out because that is I feel like they got bought by Hot Topic maybe I feel like that also sounds like just two gay dudes that fall like hey Spencer and hot topic are fucking you know flailing it out over there I Used to work in the mall. It's like if real it's like a It's like a subculture if you're a mall employee you talk to the other mall employees

Starting point is 00:17:59 And you guys like trade discounts with each other mm-hmm. I worked at a candy stand in the mall Like three months. I worked at a candy stand in the mall like three months. I did a bad More about it. Let's I don't know what happened to Spencer's real quick just so we Spencer's gift was founded in 1947 in Easton, Pennsylvania by Max Spencer as a mail order catalog Which sold an assortment of novelty merchandise Wow the company moved all mail order and fulfillment operations to Atlantic City, New Jersey in 1960 Wow whoa Seagram bottom oh they have acquired Halloween Halloween Spirit Halloween which is a seasonal retailer that all makes sense

Starting point is 00:18:38 Spirit of Halloween's are a nice hustle you open up for like three months make like probably 70,000 bucks and to shut them down yeah, I like I've been peeping those out for a while. Yeah, I'm like getting into something like that. That would be nice, man They're cheap. They cost nothing you holes and that you can use them year after year after they don't spoil Yeah, but then you have a garage full of Freddy masks all year and you can't park in your You needed big storage space it is fucked up to have that many Freddie That many bloody plastic butcher knives It is fucked up to have that many Freddy masks. That many bloody plastic butcher knives.

Starting point is 00:19:12 True that would be kind of the worst part is dude imagine you coming in you're drunk a little bit right or Pilled up or whatever some or people in your family are pilled up or your pilled up son drives into the driveway, right? He hits a couple of the boxes dude and one of the boxes is those ghosts. It's like Dude, and one of the boxes is those ghosts. It's like Fucking box just starts making that sound my god mash Just motion activated course of your car hits a box and it fucking just activated it dude It's like 40 of those bats just singing the graveyard smash Dude, if you can't especially like a lot of warehouses You know the businesses go out of they go out of business

Starting point is 00:19:48 And then it's like if you're like renting warehouses are always full of like a shit of a failed business So you could be like a dark warehouse by yourself and like what is this stuff yet? And you just get motion activated on like 25 green-eyed cats businesses are fucking gay dude. I think honestly yeah They're fucking gay, dude, I think, honestly. Yeah, they suck, man. They do suck. Think about it, dude. They are. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:09 Dude, I was totally, when I was younger, I was completely anti-business. I would work retail and I would steal. Unfortunately, I would never do that now, but I used to steal badly from, if I liked the person, I wouldn't steal. If they were mean, I'd be like, all right then, we'll see about this.

Starting point is 00:20:22 And I could figure every place has like a giant loophole on the cash register. Like if you, there would be like a thing where it's like free baby cone. If like a baby comes up, give them a free cone. But if anything rang up to exactly like $20 or 25 where you didn't have to make change, you can just hit free baby cone. And then when you go to go to the register, just crumple it all up and like stuff it in your shoe. It was bad. It was, yeah, it was very bad. I feel bad about that. Have you ever gone and made peace with those people or seek them out? Put all up and like stuff it in your shoe. It was bad. It was yeah, it was very bad I feel bad about that

Starting point is 00:20:45 Maybe ever gonna make peace with those people or seek them out no because they were my enemies they were free or my enemies So oh yeah, what kind of place was it one ice cream shop boosters? Well the manager they were great they were fine that the candy place they were for real dickheads They came they only wanted high school girls working there and then there was a manager who did a bunch of the place the place was called like scoop nuts, which is kind of funny, but the There's this lady hired me She had like put in sweat equity all this stuff and and she was saying like they were trying to like get rid of her

Starting point is 00:21:21 You know again, it's all allegedly you Bob. I don't want I don't want the scoop nuts franchise to attack me but finally all rumors it's all rumors but finally the owners came in and they were just being father who hired you why are you here I was like look I'm Matt yeah dude like I'm trying to make money like trying to make a living like everybody else you I need gas money and then from then on because I when I thought the lady owned it I was straight as an arrow and those two dudes came they were like the lady was like they're fucking me you know this sucks this is bullshit I'm so sorry I was like no problem I knew my time was limited so I cashed up

Starting point is 00:21:49 big time yeah how much did you take from anything or allegedly take from if you even did it I mean it would have been at the time it seemed crazy because I would leave with like 70 bucks a shift and be like holy fuck that's a lot yeah I was crushing them I was I was getting after I was getting after because that register You just typed that you weighed it and typed the amount so I'd be like it would weigh at a certain thing I was just taxing it who would order 70 bucks for the nuts I don't know what it would be like everything was five to ten bucks, but then I could just be like 250 I could just type it in the register baby come baby come baby come cut the fucking weight in half, too

Starting point is 00:22:20 I feel bad if I ever they ever reached out at obviously just say it to him now You can talk right into that camera. I got it man. I probably owe them like 500 bucks Which in high schools a lot if you're rolling insane amount of money. That's what I'm saying back then now That's like almost 20 30 thousand With inflation I bought a house about my first house off You have a boat it saysop on the back of it. That's the name of it. But then, you know, they were probably fine guys.

Starting point is 00:22:49 I was just getting information. You know, when you're 17, you don't know what the fuck's going on. Yeah. So, but yeah, I unfortunately- But you know if you should steal or not. Yeah, I was bad on that. That was my fault.

Starting point is 00:22:58 That was for real, that was a weakness of mine. Theft was a weakness. Dude, I was, I love to steal. What was it about stealing, man? I would try try to like let me think of some things that I stole Dude, I stole a buddy mines boxer shorts ones. I'm you had some nice ones right there were from like gap or something Or like I don't even know what they had I think that Or something I think there was from gap or maybe they was made out of silk. Oh, oh god. It was nice that fucking Yeah, yeah, there's I had a pair of them

Starting point is 00:23:29 They're nice in silk teeming and yeah, it must have probably took 70,000 spiders to make these fucking boxes right like it was stunning And I stole them and then wore them to his fucking house, and he's like dude. Those are my boxes I was like no And he's like dude those are my boxes and I was like no You're crazy, and then he was always like I don't know if he was gay But he's always trying to take him off of my body true that is fucked up. He was trying to do that Yeah, so that's how you guys are just getting change, and he was like yo those are mine. Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at my dick, bro This is crazy. Yeah, you're trying to take him off me. I'm like even if I'm a thief dude doesn't mean you should be gay True two wrongs don't make it right. Yeah, dude

Starting point is 00:24:06 So it's just that kind of activity in the community was kind of changed in the scope in our area I have I had a dude who I know I knew of a guy who His friend had stolen something similar his friend had stolen his favorite t-shirt or something He really liked and he's stolen it and he was like give it back to me his friend wouldn't give it back He's like fuck you well like they're like messing around. And this dude went into his house, and the kid had a hot sister,

Starting point is 00:24:28 and he stole a pair of the sister's panties. And then went to the dude, and he was like, yo, I fucked this chick. Check it out. And hit him, hit the panties. And he went, awesome. And then he was his sister? I never told him.

Starting point is 00:24:40 Yeah, he's like, oh. It's so diabolical. He told me. I was like, I mean, you definitely won that battle, but I was like, that's a heavy cost. That's a heavy cost to win the war. And that's the kind of shit that's happening in Gaza, dude. It needs to stop.

Starting point is 00:24:57 Yeah, we need to send force right now. What the crazy thing is over there, it's like, I don't know enough about it. I need to have people on that know about it. Yeah, but the problem is usually they take one side. Right, maybe they have one of each. Then they just fight. Dude, this guy, you know Destiny? He's on every podcast. Separate episodes. Yeah, it's him. Yeah, true.

Starting point is 00:25:19 He's on separate episodes, but you get like two really fast talking guys and they just like go on these like the Abraham Accords of 1974 You're just kind of like I can't tell who's winning right now. It's tough separate episodes I think is what I need cuz I want to know oh, yeah, okay I thought you're saying he's on everyone yeah that uh yeah, I want to have two set two two guys separate episodes Yeah, that's cuz I want to know more about it It just feels fucked up like in my heart like if I ask my heart what's going on here, it's like Palestine, you got a free Palestine. I don't know how though. It's like you have to, I know that's just the term but it's like Yeah, I don't know because it doesn't seem like they're bad guys

Starting point is 00:25:55 No, but then they but then there's the October 7th and that's horrible Well, the problem is the Hamas distinction stuff because then they the Hamas they say hides within the civilian population But then the civilian population elected Hamas, but then you feel like looking to why it's like they got like bombed terribly So they're like alright. Well then fuck you right yeah, man is one of those things It's like dude and apparently there's like other genocides going on too. That's not the only one. Oh really. Yeah, I think so I think there's some other terrible wars going I could be wrong, but I think there's some other ones as well Yeah, so there's a lot. There's a lot of them. I think they're always going on too. Just terrible. Oh, there's one in Wyoming?

Starting point is 00:26:31 Manipur. On the genocide warning in Manipur, India. Okay, Israel Hamas is up there. Genocide watch, turkeys obstruction of aid to Kurds. Genocide alerts. This is currently from genocide alerts.com. That's a website. It's kind of, who bought that? This is fucking unbelievable. Imagine if you bought that. What kind of world do we live in? Does this show up on your Woot bracelet or something?

Starting point is 00:26:54 This is unbelievable that we have a website called Genocide Alerts now. So you wake up in the morning and you check. Genocide Emergencies and Warning 2024 current alerts Israel Hamas in Gaza Manu per India I'm looking for the PayPal link at the bottom. Yeah, that would be the top like send five bucks. We'll keep fighting these Yeah, dude, there's more oh that's that's 2022. Okay, so there's not too too many. I just wonder, I wonder if we get accurate news about it too though. That's a thing. I mean, yeah, it's pretty tough, man. It's like coming out of a usually some sort of dictatorship on one side or the other.

Starting point is 00:27:36 Yeah, dude, I don't know what's going on. Like if you ask me about like Texas politics, I'm like, I don't know. I have no clue. You need to know it. Today's episode is sponsored by PrizePix. That's how you pick them. If you like firing on sports, like I do, PrizePix is the best daily fantasy sports app for you. What I like about it is that it's unique. You can fire on all your favorite sports, like NBA, UFC, NHL, and many more.

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Starting point is 00:29:50 Try Bluechew free when you use our promo code, Theo, at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code, Theo, to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChu for sponsoring the podcast. Matt McCusker, your podcaster and a comedian. Yeah. Well, you started out obviously working in ice cream. You started out working in theft. Yeah. Yeah, there was theft, ice cream, retail. No, I... What retail did you work out at? It was really just boosters and the candy place. I did my family did construction

Starting point is 00:30:26 So I did more construction growing up, but it was like I got a couple retail I kind of did almost every I worked in an office for a couple months did retail did construction Pizza delivery that pizza delivery. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty chill pizza. Liver is pretty crazy, dude Yeah, I was delivering pizza in a bad neighborhood too, and that's like scary as fuck. I had multiple instances where I had to like same time a pie with the cash. It was crazy. Oh my god. Yeah, it was not good.

Starting point is 00:30:56 I used to cook, I was the cook too, so I would cook. I was there by myself. I would cook, and then I would lock the store, then go deliver a pizza, and have to like think, all right. Let me see that It was crazy. It was unbelievable. You're basically a one-man business. Why are you working for somebody else? He started a pizza shop dude, I was like yeah, I'll do it and I quit the office job I was at a sales job, and I quit that I was like dude I can't do this anymore

Starting point is 00:31:21 Did you ever sell telemarketing did you ever sell like Tony little gazelle freestylers to people on like? My buddy used to do that my buddy had to work for his dad one summer and his dad owned like a call center And he had his call and sell with his Tony. He was doing those dude. He had a sell Tony little Gazelle freestylers dude, and it's basically just like it's almost like, it's like a swing set for people who could be, and I don't like to say this word out loud, but retarded, right? It's a swing set, it's like a bi-leg, bi-pedal swing set for people that could be retarded.

Starting point is 00:31:55 It's like for people that are afraid to ski, right? It basically, it's like this, so it's like wives that wanna leave. It's like, so you can practice as a wife leaving your husband. It's like, that's how you would go, right? It's like every wife that wanted to leave their husband, if they were afraid, they would just get on this for an hour.

Starting point is 00:32:10 Yeah, he would just pied piper them away. Yeah, that thing's crazy. My buddy had to cold call people and try to sell it to him. So dude, but also they had numbers that would go in that people would call in and we would call in all the time, dude. And he had to do like a 30 second preamble right when you called, dude.

Starting point is 00:32:28 We would just, he would do it and be like, quit! And then he would like. Did you ever do a call center? No, man, I worked at, we had a pizza place too. I worked at one called BJ's and then there was another one, Born Again Crustions, it was a pizza. again, Crustians. It was a pizza. That's nice. It was pretty cool. It was like this church had started a little, um, Italian pie area. Dude, I sold Italian food door to door with a dude, right?

Starting point is 00:32:55 There was this guy, my mom, they went on a date with and he was like, he wasn't even Italian. He just had a mustache. Like, that's kind of the part of the South we were in. Like if somebody had a mustache, they were Italian. We're like, what do you mean? He's fucking has a cleft. So anyway, but I had to go door to door with him. And I was just like his assistant or something.

Starting point is 00:33:19 I would get like two bucks, but he would just sell like Italian, like frozen stuff to wives or whatever and then dude I swear sometimes I kind of remembered is he would just leave me alone for I know he was like talking to these why like just Yeah dirty business um But let's get into it. I sidetracked it so Matt So you got you so that's what you were working in yeah I was doing you know I grew up mainly doing construction with odd jobs And then I went to school

Starting point is 00:33:48 For psychology and then I tried to well I did I Dropped my psychology major then switched to business just because my friends were in business So I was like I'm gonna go chill with my friends So I switched my whole major to be in class with my friends really yeah, it wasn't good It wasn't a good idea looking back on it I'm like damn I fucked up because psychology like you got to go to school for like seven more years and I was like yeah fuck that Like all my friends were in business. I'm like I'm just gonna do that So I was like I'm gonna go to school for business and I assumed if I went to school for business

Starting point is 00:34:16 I'd automatically make $100,000 a year Just what I told myself my y'all make 100 G's for sure and like 2008 came the market like the real state market collapsed But I know I started doing stand-up when I was like 23 in Philly, okay So I would do it I might what I would do is I do stand-up for like six months And I'm like fuck this and stop mm-hmm do it for like nine months fuck this and stop I just did that forever and ever and ever So and then me and Shane started the podcast and I had still been doing stand-up back then I was doing stand-up a lot. So I just got divorced. Oh, yeah, I made a really when I was when I was younger I was like 26 or 7. I like got engaged when I was younger

Starting point is 00:34:54 I was like no more of this bullshit or funny business I'm gonna put my best foot forward and be a husband and I just fucking failed dude. Like I couldn't do it I got I for real thought I thought that's what you do. I'm like yeah, it's time to quit fucking around. I was like a personal trainer at LA Fitness. I was like selling weed, like it was bad, it was bad dude. Damn dude. It was bad.

Starting point is 00:35:16 Wow, well you're entrepreneurial it sounds like. True, yeah, my family are all entrepreneurial. My dad owned his own business, they all did their own thing. So I grew up with, that was just kind of drilled into me like you have to work for yourself Wow Yeah, which is cool. That's kind of cool Yeah, but they also everyone works like working 60 hours a week was like the norm my dad was always like 40 hours part-time He's gonna be 40 hour weeks. You're a part-timer. Yeah, I was like hell. Yeah, somebody said Jesus only worked like 30 hours a week Who said that huh? Who said that a it's like pretty, bring it up.

Starting point is 00:35:48 I know a lot of people have said it. How many hours a week did Jesus work? Look it up. 30 kind of is the perfect. Dude, I could tell you a lot of shit, dude. I heard honestly Frederick Douglass like dudes, bro. What? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:01 And nobody wants to say that shit. Frederick Douglass? Damn, really really yeah, are you breaking it? I? Don't want to out the dude Free at last It took me I didn't go through like my database of people I thought at first drum up Michael Douglas And then I went oh, yeah, yeah, different guy different guy, different guy. Damn, he was totally different guy. Possibly fucked, way different. He was possibly fucking dudes, that's crazy.

Starting point is 00:36:31 I mean, I get it. It's not that crazy though. No, it's not. Because think about it, if you're like, I'm gonna do something different, I don't wanna have slavery, right? I don't wanna, I'm gonna lead my people to a different direction.

Starting point is 00:36:41 And especially a lot of more men, I think. What percentage of slaves were males? That's a good point, I never thought about that. Also, he especially a lot of more men. I think what percentage of slaves were males That's a good point never thought about that Also, he was an outside-the-box thinker. He was you know, right? So he was like, you know what else I'm like literally Okay. Whoa is 179 damn. That's like 100 females. It's like China So that's definitely a good way to meet dudes probably. Yeah sausage party So yeah, the Underground Railroad was a sausage party dude Fucking bullshit. That's fucking bullshit No, that's fucking bullshit

Starting point is 00:37:13 Yeah, that is bullshit dude because yeah, that's crazy the fucking Underground Railroad was a sausage party Oh, I bet dudes were hooking up bro Probably yeah once they got, yeah. Especially going to like the East Coast, you get there. It was probably like liberal as hell back then. It's like liberal, it's probably very not at all, but yeah, that's fucked up. I didn't know the ratio was so off. I assumed it was one to one.

Starting point is 00:37:37 Me too, yeah, you just kind of think that. Isn't that funny? Your brain just kind of thinks that, you know? Yeah, but like why? If you really think about that for like two more seconds, you're like, uh, what happened? Like, there's a reason, like, China has suppressed female births. You're like, how did that work out?

Starting point is 00:37:53 You know, there's no way they were being born at that rate of male to female. Right, they just chose to suppress it. Yeah, that's fucked up. Apparently in Rome, they used to just throw babies in the trash like nothing. Huh. In Sparta, there was like a badge of honor. If your kid came out like a little bit defective,

Starting point is 00:38:08 you were supposed to just like toss them in the trash and everyone would be like, nice. No way. Because they were like, that's how we'll keep us strong. Yeah. Well. Shout out to the Jews. The Jews were people back then who were like, that's wrong. And they didn't do it. They would tell people not to do it? Yeah, they're like, you don't throw kids out like that.

Starting point is 00:38:22 Dude, this Jewish lady used to drop her kids off at the McDonald's in our town and fucking they would stay there all day long, dude. Really? Yeah, those kids were there every day. And I think one of them was mentally disabled or something. So people were always saying that like, he dropped them off there and it wasn't cool, you know? Yeah, that's not nice at all.

Starting point is 00:38:39 But I think, yeah, even a couple of, someone, I think more than one of them might've been mentally disabled, but also most of our town was fucking mentally disabled dude Like you don't realize when other people are like mentally disabled people stay in one area and fuck you know yeah, so all that's gonna happen over time of that area is just like a Quagmire yeah Intellectual cul-de-sac-ing, you know? Yeah, dude. Especially when you find out about Asperger's, I've come to the...

Starting point is 00:39:11 Well, actually, it was brought to my attention, I kind of believe, my one cousin. I think my entire family has Asperger's. Like, my entire... Like, a touch of it. And she explained this, and I was like, Damn, dude, you're right. We all have Asperger's Yeah, and I was like, you know kind of it's good to know not you know I'm not trying to jump on the bandwagon, but it's like I'm talking about like just a tiny spider bite Like a little we definitely enough just enough dude. Just some fucking freckles on the cerebellum Cuz we're gonna family parties. It's just data dumps

Starting point is 00:39:42 It's just like you're sitting there like waiting to tell someone what you're into and they're like, oh I last this week I actually did like I paved a patio and I'm like, oh cool Actually my podcast and we just ever just data dumps on each other that I was like, alright later goes home Yeah, I feel that dude. It's uh, it's kind of nice Yeah, it's definitely times are changing things are blurring. I mean we have illegal are going to be the lifeguards at the swimming pool. That guy's crazy, dude. I almost fucking love the dude now though. He's like, we have so many open lifeguard positions and, hmm, so many good swimmers that are illegal aliens. It's such a funny... Yeah, he didn't even have to go into that detail. He could have been like, yeah, we're gonna open it up.

Starting point is 00:40:23 Apparently, I read a book and they said, we're going to have to start actually enticing immigrants. Once the baby boomers die, RIP, we're going to have a huge population dip. So our immigration policy in 2040 will most likely be us begging immigrants to come or competing with other countries who have severe population dips. Europe, Canada, China is going to get crushed.

Starting point is 00:40:44 We're going to be courting immigrants from Africa and Latin America. Really? They're like, please come here. Other countries have severe population dips like Europe Canada China is gonna get crushed We're gonna be courting immigrants from like Africa and Latin America really big please come here. Yeah, that's what the guy said The population dips gonna be crazy in like 40 years I said there's gonna be houses are just gonna drop because we have so many houses once baby boomers There's so many more baby boomers than the per like the other generation So but what are you talking about? Because people have been saying that overpopulation is going to be an issue. That's the thing, it's not at all.

Starting point is 00:41:09 It's not going to be whatsoever. Well, this is the first time I'm hearing of that. Yeah, it's kind of good news. I mean, it's kind of cool. Yeah, but it's also, I'm just realizing that the last time I heard it was somebody just told me it, and then now you're just telling me this. So it's like.

Starting point is 00:41:20 I'm telling you, overpopulation is a myth. We're not going to do it. Look it up. Is it over? What are we doing right now? Overpopulation or overpopulation is a myth. We're not gonna get over. Is it over? Which what are we doing right now overpopulation or underpopulation? according to the US Census Bureau The civilian honest use of population is growing to rate 1.1 percent over the past 40 years. Yeah, that's baby boomers Okay, and then they once they die

Starting point is 00:41:38 the developing world is still having kids like that, but all of like Canada Europe Asia like no one, any developed country has maybe one to two kids per household and the baby boomers are having like five. So you just do that math and it's just like the population just spikes. The brothers are smashing though dude. A lot of them are definitely having some fucking kids. Yeah, for sure. There's definitely, they're, you know, but they're on average, but yeah, they're definitely, they're crushing it. And the Mexies are smashing dude.

Starting point is 00:42:02 Smashing up. And they should. Yeah. They should yeah, they should oh definitely, dude I don't know how they do it usually if I come up from hard days work the last thing I want to do is fucking Smash yeah, it's tough. I don't even want to jerk off sometimes. That's how sad I am After a hard day work. Yeah, it's like I won't even jerk myself off. It's like Yeah, but I guess that's good. Probably there's nothing sadder than somebody jerking off kind of yeah it's really it's weird especially before work jerking off before work it's just like it's pretty first of all if you do that your your whoop bracelet should let the cops know there's no reason they track you like the Kovac tracker everyone's phone. This guy just faps. That would be terrible

Starting point is 00:42:48 There's no way we're far from that though Once they get something in our body that can detect like because we don't do a lot. We're hungry we jerk off Yeah cancer right it's like We're not doing a lot of crazy shit. You know they could figure in it with your phone data They I'm paranoid still because they say they just looking, they're like tracking your facial expressions and what you're looking at at all times. Damn. Takes one rogue engineer to be like, Bing, got him. And you're just, you on your camera like, ooo ooo ooo.

Starting point is 00:43:16 With what you're looking at just printed out and they can be like, bam. Oh, they watched you watch porn, you mean? I mean they could, apparently all of our data is being watched but it's being watched in mass But you would think like if I'm Zuck I could definitely be like okay Where is he at and get like your IP address and they if you give them your IP address They can go on your computer from their computer. I'm just changing mine then Yeah Get ease of VPN I guess but yeah, but the VPNs a lot of them are made by Facebook in those companies

Starting point is 00:43:44 Yeah, that makes sense That was like course. They're gonna make a VPN member signal and all those like you ever use those like burner phone apps on your phone Yeah, still use them. So those appear there was one in Europe that was like a it was like the app to use if you're up to like no good and it was just set up by The government and they caught people like committing murders and ordering hit men shit. So like yo, we got a safe line I need you to kill a guy. And the government just collected all of it and just busted everybody. It makes no sense, because people who sell drugs like hit me up on Signal and you're like,

Starting point is 00:44:12 dude, they can get this. Like, no, it's encrypted. It's like, yeah, I guess, man. The craziest thing that happened on Signal, I got on a Signal one time, so I was like, you gotta get on Signal. And I accidentally hit the thing where it's like, let all your contacts know You're on signal or whatever For like four days I It is funny to see whose turn when you open signal you see who of your contacts are in signal you're like, all right That's what's up. You just get to find out who's living kind of a CD a little doing something CD

Starting point is 00:44:45 Yeah, who's willing to? Who is willing to risk it all yeah? Yeah, there's like signal we chat, but yeah, that's it is a funny thing people just have total faith And I hit me up on signal yeah all right man but dude imagine you're screaming for help in a pool and the Yeah, all right, man, but dude imagine you're screaming for help in a pool and the guy To help you doesn't even speak English dude. He thinks you're just doing a fucking tick-tock dance or something I Mean they'd probably be on it though. They would probably

Starting point is 00:45:15 jump down Yeah, I mean dude I I'm all in favor of that because I've been burnt too many times by lack of lifeguards, but yeah Just god damn it that it's such a It's such a strike politically. It's just such god damn it, that it's such a, it's such a strike, politically it's just such a strange cause. It's like, all right, bro, I feel you. We can get into lifeguarding.

Starting point is 00:45:30 But we have, where I live, there's no lifeguards. We have like neighborhood pools, no lifeguards. It's pretty tight. Yeah, going to a pool by yourself, dude, I remember, yeah, being at a pool by myself once, and I think I got nervous or whatever. So I went to masturbate. They had like a little pool house in there, you know?

Starting point is 00:45:51 And some guy peeked in the bathroom when I was in there. What? Yeah, and then I was like, oh my God, dude. Made me so nervous. And then I had to go back out and it was just me and him just swimming in the pool together for a while Do you know yeah this dude would just blatantly see me masturbating in oh man in Atlanta I? Will say jerking off fresh out the pool kind of hits different if you get out of a pool and you jerk off

Starting point is 00:46:18 It's slightly different something that has to do with like getting a lot of sunlight and then jerking off I swear by this like leaving the beach at like lunchtime. To jerk off? That's insane. Boop bracelet. That is... I've done it. I'll be honest, I've done it.

Starting point is 00:46:31 It's crazy, dude. Skin's all warm. It's nice. Yeah, I guess there is different cool times to do it, huh? Yeah. To a full moon. People used to do it a lot when I was growing up. Full moon would be nice.

Starting point is 00:46:43 That would be definitely the day after that people would be just war Gave it all they had You so so how did you meet Shane because you and Shane started Matt and Shane secret podcast which is Last year was the highest grossing podcast on patreon. Yeah, it's crazy. It's insane. It's unbelievable when you start them I think you check the date and oh my god. Oh my god Then at one point you stop checking that you see you're number one. You're like fuck I look it just it's surreal, but we met so we're both doing stand-up. It was 2014 I had one Phillies funniest he comes 2015 so I'm like thinking I'm hot white guy the Caitlin Clark of Philly

Starting point is 00:47:20 He came in and I think he wanted 2015 so I we met in 2014. I just wanted I'm like really feeling myself So I'm at a show it's funny cuz I'm like dude, this is crazy So when I go to a show is above an ice cream parlor, so I'm just lowered Yeah, I'm alerting out above the ice cream parlor like leveling up literally Yeah, it was funny too because I think the if the owner was crazy. It was a whole debacle but so I did he had just moved from Harrisburg and no one knew who he was. So he came from Harrisburg and I'm watching him

Starting point is 00:47:51 and he was headlining. And would he come on a horseback or something? I mean the story of Shane Gillis has to be. Well it was crazy because again, never seen him ever in my life. Watching him do stand up in 2014 and I'm going, holy fuck this dude is so fun. Back then I remember specifically he did a joke,

Starting point is 00:48:07 I don't remember what it was exactly, it was a very sensitive topic, lost a crowd, and I was like, oh, I guess he's done. Dude, two minutes later, crowd's cracking up, he brought him back and I was like, whoa. And then we started talking after that. He showed- Like that famous burr set in Philly.

Starting point is 00:48:20 Yeah, dude, it was crazy. And then we started talking after the show. I was like, dude, that was awesome. And then he showed me a video of a guy getting eaten by a bear. And then I showed him a video of a guy jumping off a roof. And we just totally clicked up. So that was real, that's how we met.

Starting point is 00:48:37 And then we started, we got a house together with a couple other comedians pretty shortly afterwards. See, and girls say guys are hard to figure out. I feel like it's like, meet me above an ice cream parlor. That's what I'm saying. Show me a video of something eating something else. Yeah dude. I'll show you a video of an animal attacking something.

Starting point is 00:48:55 Dude and we're good. And let's start a family. Yeah and I was like, freshly divorced, air mattress. I think actually we met before I'd gotten totally divorced. Did you lose a lot of stuff in the divorce? I had nothing Fuck yeah. Yeah, I always heard people like, we'll show her. She took so much from me and I'm like bro I had no it was embarrassing. I wish I lost stuff in the divorce, dude. I had nothing

Starting point is 00:49:13 You're still sending her stuff every now and then? I should man, for real it's fucked up, but I just didn't I didn't have anything But I like do you remember the day you left in the divorce? Dude, it's the saddest day It's for real the saddest cause she's a nice she was a nice lady like this sounds beautiful. She was a very nice lady I just I couldn't do it dude like he was one of those things where I was living a life that it wasn't my life It's the only way I can explain it like I wasn't I was meant to do other stuff I could feel it and it was just like I Tried my best to get jobs, and I'm like dude. I can go the straight and narrow

Starting point is 00:49:44 Let's get a regular job. That's all I want to do my dad was like that like have work at a place come home Have kids I was all for that. I just couldn't I was like warped. I couldn't do it I tried so you really tried you made as much of an effort as you could as I could but I learned I was severely Handicapped in terms of like relating to like I didn't you don't realize how bad it is until you like live with a woman For you know a couple years handicapped at what I'm sorry I stepped on you like emotional relation I'm trying to like like see things from other people's perspectives like I was totally unequipped But that day I left for real was one of the saddest it was like the saddest things ever it was like I was crying

Starting point is 00:50:18 Where were you I was in Roxborough, so in Philadelphia like just some area Philly. It was cool. I like the house We had a dog. Yeah, we had a dog together and who did the dog come in your car stayed. It's it It was her dog. It was her dog first To be fair, but uh yeah, she was really nice man. It was just like talk about taking the dog No, man, I wasn't gonna do that that would have been heartless to be like when you said bye like was there a hug What was that kind of like final kind of moment like just sad it was just like goodbye You know did she come out and walk you out or you said bye inside she was kicking around So it was kind of like there was a last glance and it was there just feels like this etched into my memory is one

Starting point is 00:50:52 Of like the saddest days of my life Because I had never really felt anything about stuff like that like my relationships before that were like I would just develop a girlfriend Like we would just be like hooking up, and then I'd be like oh fuck. I got a girlfriend And you know it was like very very disassociated. I just go through the motions this I was like trying to put my best foot forward That was like the first time I really like I was like, oh I get what people are talking about like with Experiencing like serious heartbreak and all that stuff just burnt you down. Yeah, crush me if really if it fucking crushed me So I had you crying before you got in the car or do you always cry?

Starting point is 00:51:22 I was crying on the way when I left I wasn't crying before I got in the car Then I was crying too long? I was crying on the way when I left. I wasn't crying before I got in the car, then I was crying on the way It's hard to get the key in the thing sometimes if you're really fucking crying Yeah, dude, I was crying I didn't get the first gate in reverse and all that shit It was brutal I wait till I'm in forward for it Yeah, and then I had to walk the dog every day cuz I was like look I'll come up and walk the dog while you're at work Like I didn't want her to stress about anything so I came back go back in the house during work

Starting point is 00:51:42 No one would be there and I'd walk the dog and it was just just I came back go back in the house during work No one would be there and I'd walk the dog and it was just Just consumed with guilt and just horrible feelings wandering through your old life like a fucking ghost Yeah, for real and I'd why and I love the dog to the dog looked at you. Did the dog know you think I? Don't know it was definitely pumped to see me It was always kind of pumped to see me, but I don't know I couldn't tell I like it It was maybe an SAE or something. What's SA sigma alpha epsilon? It just sounds like the dog was in a frat or something. It didn't have any fucking just pumped to see

Starting point is 00:52:09 It was pumped But yeah, it was for real it was a big eye-opener for me though man That's when I started being like okay like there's because when you're younger you're just so in your own head where you're like I'm the only person with feelings that matter in this world Then you like really encounter like the depths of somebody else's and you're like, oh this is like serious to like yeah Just fuck around with people's lives. So it was a big eye-opener for me So I did the air mattress on my brother's house for a while. That's heavy, dude It reminds me I was in love with a girl in high school, right?

Starting point is 00:52:41 when I was a senior and I Was in New York and I remember I decided I was gonna go away to school at University of Arizona. And some people that I'm from had never even heard of Arizona, right? They didn't believe in it. People like I showed it on a map and they just called me a mat f*** it.

Starting point is 00:52:59 It was crazy some of the stuff that was happening. And I remember just like she and I were like crying, like in her living room or whatever. Yeah. Oh, her mom let me, this was crazy. Her mom let me stay over the last night I was there, right? Mm-hmm. But her mom's like, no funny business.

Starting point is 00:53:16 You guys can sleep in the same room, like in the family room, right? What's that about? I don't know, dude, but here's the crazy part so anyway, somebody started some funny business and then I'm walking to go get some water or something or get some piss out of my wiener or something. Yeah, and Her mom's sitting right there in a chair. What yeah Fuck man. I feel horrible about that and I you could see that my wiener was still like wiener in there. Yeah, you're pumped up Yeah

Starting point is 00:53:50 Oh god damn dude My wiener was like, it's a party, it's a party, it's a party And I was young, you know, huh? Did you say anything? No, but I still feel how she felt Yeah I can still feel it, but she loved me. She loved, the mom loved me, and so she had like some respect for me. She knew that I really loved her daughter.

Starting point is 00:54:06 And then- That's more though, that she knew what you guys were, you know, she has to have some sense. But at least she was close enough there in the distance, almost like a bird mom, you know? Like, hey, I'm gonna hang, you can stay in the nest, but I'm gonna be right here on the branch. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:54:20 Just in case anybody falls out and breaks a wing or something. True, yeah. She's gonna rush in and be like, yo, slow down. Yeah, just in case somebody fucking, yeah. Tries to put a worm in the wrong place, you know? But what happened was then the next day I told her, buy it, like this gas station was this big sad thing and we're both like bawling, crying, dude. Yeah, fuck.

Starting point is 00:54:38 And then I drove off and my fucking car overheated like 600 feet from the gas station, dude, and I had to fucking call her dad to come help me dude. That fucking sucks because when your car overheats you think if I drive faster it starts to cool down your engine Yeah, but yeah, that shit sucks. That's embarrassing. Oh, it was horrible dude I remember pouring cold water through the fucking air vents trying to get it in that way I've tried to do that a bunch of times. man It's just drips out just yeah, this that shit of just that heartbreak dude Yeah, I had a real low point the one day when I was I've Shane was laughing about this when I was telling him but I like I had a real low point driving home one day from walking

Starting point is 00:55:16 The dog I'm crying. I was crying every day. I'm crying on the way home driving down Kelly Drive And that's like in Philly that's a big like outdoor green area people jog up and down there and some dude have really short Shorts on and I like pull like stopped at a light and he like looked in the car. I looked at him was like I was crying Looking in the car, and I was like Try to slam his shorts, and I was just visibly bawling and I was like, it's a low point. I remember just being like, what the fuck was that all about, dude? Just a straight dude crying, that's a hot dude to a gay dude, bro. True, true. He was probably just a dude wearing regular athletic gear. He might not even be gay.

Starting point is 00:55:55 Yeah, that's true. I like to think I didn't hate crime a guy while I was crying, but I think he was straight. The guy was straight as hell. The guy was so straight. He said, sure, sure, so I'm gay. Dude, I don't like that. I was fucking crying. Yeah. Oh, obviously he's in the wrong. Yeah. Dude, I remember one time I was driving and I'd been drinking, right?

Starting point is 00:56:12 Because it was, I think it was daytime or whatever. And I'm cruising and the cop had pulled somebody else over on the side of the road. And he sees me literally just drinking out of a Taka vodka bottle. No shirt, dude, right? Just ripping out of a Taka vodka bottle. No shirt, right? Just ripping it in 1984 Ford Escort. That was the passenger seat stolen out of it.

Starting point is 00:56:32 Right. So, um, anyway, I'm cruising duty points at me. He's like, pull over. Yeah. Right. He's like, he's like, he's dealing with that ticket. So I pull over and then I'm like, fuck this dude. And I just pulled off dude.

Starting point is 00:56:48 You got away? Yeah, they never caught me. It's funny, he was like, yes, come here, I'm gonna give you a DUI when I'm done with this. Dude, a lot of guys get away from cops. I've heard of a couple people, but no, I just take off. I'm surprised, I thought everyone gets caught who does that, but yeah, people get away. Yeah, a lot of cops want you to just get home safely, I think, in the end. And sometimes they gauge on how to do it.

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Starting point is 00:59:30 For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash this past weekend, or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's F-O-R- people Dot-com slash this past weekend or dial pound law pound five to nine from your cell. This is a paid advertisement so you So you you and Shane start the podcast you met in Philly and Shane you and Shane start the podcast in Philly or in Philly Yeah in Philly and then he at one point he went to New York and start the podcast in Philly or in? In Philly, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:02 In Philly. In Philly. And then he, at one point, he went to New York. Cause I had, I got to this space where I was like, I like podcasting better than standup. Cause I was just frustrated. We're the same city all the time. I'm in Philadelphia, doing the same shows all the time.

Starting point is 01:00:15 And I like either host or feature. I think I was back then, I might've been featuring. I forget, but it was like the same thing. I'd meet a headliner, they'd be miserable. And I'm like, is this my fate? Like it's just like you just, cause a lot of the headliners I met hosting were for real miserable Yeah, like very sad very disgruntled and I'd be like or whatever So I got disillusioned with stand-up and I was like, I just want to do podcasting and then at one point

Starting point is 01:00:34 I was like I want to pursue psychology. So when he went to New York, I Saw I went back and got my masters in social work because I did again I was like dude, I think drop back in and ring on it Yeah, if I and it's this is the way my mind works. I was like I want to get back into psychology What's the easiest way to do it to do like talk therapy? And I looked it up in social work if you get your masters and then work under somebody you can get licensed and open your Own practice Wow So I went to school for social work while Shane was kind of blowing up in New York and we're still doing the podcast I was still doing what by train or something every now and then he would come to Philly back then yeah, it was crazy. It's hard. It's insane because I and then eventually I started driving in New York

Starting point is 01:01:10 But for a while he was coming to Philly every week. I was just kind of like okay cool I didn't I didn't make that drive like that's the one I started driving to New York I was like dude you were doing this for two years is insane He did it for a long time did it for like a year or two no way. Yeah, man He's the man that is a hard thing people don't understand that type of a commute That's insane commute. I mean how far is that commute? Two hours on a good day, and if it gets traffic you're kind of like two hours 33 Yeah, it sucks. It's a hellish and it's through the worst parts of New Jersey like like heavy industrial it stinks

Starting point is 01:01:43 Oh, yeah, it's awful. It's a it's for real an awful awful drive Fuck yeah, yeah, it's two hours and twelve. That's like normal that traffic up there near like bridges and shit It and then in you know, New York. I'm sure you know, you just sit in fucking traffic Yeah, you just sit in there. Fuck. Yeah furious. Yeah somebody else And that guy's crying And and he calls you a f***. The audacity, dude. Yeah, the audacity. It's crazy to call you a f***.

Starting point is 01:02:12 It's unbelievable. He must have just laughed like, all right man, whatever that guy's got going on. Well everybody nowadays just calls everybody a f***. It's like, I feel like if you try to do CPR, somebody's dying, right? And they're like, f the black Get off me They'd rather die

Starting point is 01:02:27 They'll use their last breath these days, especially in New Jersey. Somebody will use their last breath to call somebody a fag. Oh, yeah It was yeah, I mean it was that was heavy dude was polite back then that was like you have you know I was like the handkerchief around your neck being like You know, that's like that's like kind of this beautiful But no man he I did I was in school for social work And then it was funny because I'm doing it and I was kind of again like confronting the fact that like oh I can't really be a normal polite society because you go into like you drop into like a regular Like job type place, and you feel like an alien especially the longer you do stand up and other things

Starting point is 01:03:01 It's like you just feel out of place, so I did it. I liked it It was cool. It was a cool experience, but it was like very uh You know like Jordan Peterson came out was like the schools are out of control. They're losing him But dude, I also would watch a lot of Jordan Peterson at the time and I was like I'm kind of curious to see if that's real So I and then when I went back to school, I was like dude, he was totally right. It was insane Just how like woke they got oh, dude It was great like you'd be in class and a lady for no reason would just be like

Starting point is 01:03:25 Well, we'd be talking about like social issues and she'd be like I would never call the cops on a black guy ever And I'm sitting there and I'm like I couldn't help it. I'd be like ever what if he was beating up a woman like why ever? It's crazy So I would get in a lot of those kind of arguments in school and then and I'll even text the cops from I'm even Meeting a black guy sometimes the what I'll text the cops. True, just like, yo, just say no. Yeah. FYI, meeting a couple brothers, see you chill, we'll update. I'll keep you updated.

Starting point is 01:03:52 Dude, it was crazy. I went there and it was just that kind of stuff. And I'm like, all right, keep your head down and chill. But I couldn't help it. I kept arguing with people in class. It was kind of fun, honestly. And then, dude, there were like 24-year-olds being like, oh, this is what I think, and you'd be like,

Starting point is 01:04:06 that's what you fucking, and you could just smash them. Yeah, that's what you fucking think. I'd fucking want that ice cream, Paula. Yeah, dude, you don't know shit about the world. Ever fucking broken your heart in somebody else's? But no, then I did that, and then Shane got the SNL thing right at the tail end of my schooling. And were you bummed about that or excited? I was pumped. It's like I've always been stoked like that, but the when he got when he got the SNL

Starting point is 01:04:30 I was like hell yeah, and he goes buckle up. They're going through the podcast I was like I didn't know what he was talking about. I'm like yeah, whatever. It's not that bad and then They that whole thing blew up so I was like in school like because I Would get mentioned in bylines of like podcast with and nobody put it together until very towards the very end a girl My class had read the article was like that's you and they try to kick me out of school that guy hates Chinese people or whatever Yeah, they're there and all the proof is you know I had been arguing against their you know in my idea

Starting point is 01:05:00 You know it's kind of like unrealistic liberal value So I'd been like you guys don't know shit about anything Fuck that fuck that I'd been arguing the flip side of their coin The entire time so they saw that they're like bingo and they try to kick me out and we had a smoking gun Yeah, they got me but it was like and then I had to stay it was honestly one of my favorite experiences ever I had to go before the board of the school and I got to do one of those like trial by that's cool, man It's just other adults. You know, it's I've been looking forward to that It's like you're a suit. No, I just wore my regular clothes

Starting point is 01:05:28 But it's like that court fantasy where you have to like do your represent yourself in court in your briefcase nothing in there So I have to have that water's in there to Fiji's so I got to do that and then uh No, and then it was just like I finished I you know covid happened So like everything kind of just chilled we finished the last month or so online anyway, so it was just like I finished I you know COVID happened so like everything kind of just chilled We finished the last month or so online anyway, so it was like yeah, that was cool Did you believe in COVID or not at the time? No, I didn't do I didn't my whole family didn't either like my mom was like Like let's hang outside that one time and then after that you like come inside

Starting point is 01:05:59 There's a bolt none of my family got vaccinated like none of my mom my uncles Nobody got it except for like anyone who worked in the medical field Dude, I had a buddy broke into a CVS and got like 30 inoculations. He was addicted to Inoculations or whatever dude this motherfucker has not a simple in like six years, dude. He's good. He said oh this guy Yeah, I was just sketched out by the whole thing. I was like dude. It's new I'm like I'm already I'm like a contract as it is new. I'm like, I'm already, I'm like a hypochondriac as it is. And I'm like, I'm way less scared of viruses and like medical intervention.

Starting point is 01:06:29 I don't know why. First, I didn't think it was real. Yeah. But then I'm like, oh, people are really dying. So there must be something real. But then also it seemed like that they messed up and killed a lot of people with respirators that would not have died.

Starting point is 01:06:40 Yeah, I remember hearing about that. Yeah, I got, did you get it? I don't know if I got it or not. I it or not I remember I couldn't smell for about 11 months But I don't know but oh yeah, and I had the antibodies when I went to Rogan's one time I got tested ahead so I had the antibodies almost ahead it that's tight Yeah, you probably got it at some point, but yeah, I got it. I got rocked, but it was only for like Two days there's a bad fever, and then I coughed up like weird liquids for like a month and I was fine. So, my wife was pregnant at the time so I'm like...

Starting point is 01:07:08 Your wife was pregnant? She was pregnant so then it was kind of a medical experiment like should I get it? I'm like I don't know what the shit is so we were all just like dude let's just chill. Take it chill. Let's get the fucking antibodies and just roll down. And you have um, I've met you, you have a darker wife. Yeah. Pretty much.

Starting point is 01:07:22 Yeah. Safe to say that. Safe to say, yeah. Yeah. Beautiful lady, very charming. Bridget, is that her name? Britney. Britney.

Starting point is 01:07:33 Yeah. Britney, is that her name? Yeah. Yeah, was that, did that end, like just growing up in Philly lead you to that you think? Dude, I don't know. To kind of a chocolatey bride kind of? Since I was a little kid it's almost, there's, my only theory is, because in grade school I like dated a Mexican lady, and I've dated everybody, I've dated, you know, like white

Starting point is 01:07:56 ladies, everything. Yeah. But that was definitely, you know, that was something I was drawn to, or black women forever. But my only theory is my mom was like super Christian, she still is, super Catholic, so she blocked like MTV, VH1, all the music channels. Except for? BET, because she didn't know it existed.

Starting point is 01:08:13 So that was the only music channel I had growing up. So in my formative years, I just watched rap video after rap video, and I think it might have had some sort of effect. Yeah. So that's my only theory. Bitch better have my money. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:24 Um, that's, yeah, wow, that's so interesting, dude. Yeah, dude, I remember I made love to a woman who was pretty much black. Right. And, uh, yeah, it was definitely, there was like more in the, um, muscle or something. I don't know. Yeah, you felt, you were impressed by the experience. What do you say pretty much? She was like, what do you? She said she or something, I don't know. Yeah, you felt you were impressed by the experience.

Starting point is 01:08:45 What do you say, pretty much? She was like, what do you? She said she was black, I believed her. True. True. You know, I'm not fucking looking at paperwork or whatever. I'm not fucking. Prove it.

Starting point is 01:08:57 Yeah, no, a woo-brace that was like, black, you know? It pops up on there. Yeah, I just, you know what, for me, they definitely won out for me as well. They won my heart, collectively, they won my heart. Really? Yeah, I just, you know what, for me, they definitely won out for me as well. They won my heart, collectively, they won my heart. Really? Yeah, I just, I don't know what it was, man. It was just like, you like what you like, you know?

Starting point is 01:09:11 Oh yeah, I think I was afraid probably of black girls growing up. They had a lot of the black girls in our town and stuff would get knocked up by the black guys at a young age. Yeah, yeah. So all of our black girls disappeared at around 13 years old and got pregnant

Starting point is 01:09:30 Yeah, and then they come back and they're just different or they just like Yeah, they have a child now or they have like baby milk on their shoulder or whatever And also I think they had to defend themselves against like like black like dudes in their town or whatever that were like trying to trying to get with them when they were young. So I think they were more into the whole communicating with guys nature. So I think a lot of times they would... They were just more advanced. The black kids in our school were more sexually advanced. They just had sex earlier and stuff. So I think that was intimidating. The black girls were intimidating because they had more experience.

Starting point is 01:10:07 Yeah, it's funny. Sometimes you talk to a black guy, he's like, I got head when I was 10. You're like, what? Like, for real? Like, for real? Yeah, sorry, dude. It's okay.

Starting point is 01:10:16 This place just went out of business, we're good. It's true, you do hear that a lot. You're not wrong. Sorry, yeah. You're fine. It is crazy. I'm not gonna get when you're, bro, if somebody put my wiener, okay, that God made for me that I kept in my pants for him,

Starting point is 01:10:32 if somebody put that in their mouth when I was 10 years old, dude, oh my God, I would've freaking. It's over. Oh, I would've lit a fire in our yard and made smoke signals. It's over, dude. For God to come help us. There's no way. It's over, it's over. I would, I don't know how, it's crazy. a fire in our yard and made smoke signals for God to come and help us. It's over.

Starting point is 01:10:46 It's over. I don't know how, it's crazy. I would have hit him with a wrench or something. I just, that would have scared me so much. So that's what's so, but yeah, so that was kind of crazy. Sorry, I don't know if I spit on you or not, but I see you. No, you're good. It's fine.

Starting point is 01:11:01 That was good. Yeah, that kind of stuff is pretty crazy and then... I get the intimidation factor I do get, but I always... Whenever I will see people and I always just assume... I always see softer sides of it. It's something I've had my whole life where I can see kind of like... I don't know. I always can see people's softer nature. Because people present one way, then you're with them. It's a totally different thing.

Starting point is 01:11:24 Oh, I would marry a black lady, I believe, or semi-black or whatever. For sure. All black. I mean, there's so many... I mean, I've long been of the belief that... Um... We're gonna... It's a beige future, right?

Starting point is 01:11:35 In four generations, everybody's gonna be beige. Yeah. Everybody that's still alive, whatever. Exactly, yeah. We're all gonna be beige bitcoins. Um... True. You know? That will have no sense of faith or hope anymore,

Starting point is 01:11:48 but that's where we'll be. True. At least we'll be able to context each other online. True. So. I think we might be in for like a massive spiritual awakening though, it's coming. Well, I'm-

Starting point is 01:11:59 There's rumblings, I can detect rumblings on it. I like that attitude, man. There was one thing I was gonna say. What were we just talking about? Being married having a black wife Oh Yeah, I would date a black woman. I would marry a black woman I would date a black woman did I would probably maybe marry a black woman

Starting point is 01:12:22 You know like I don't I think when I was a kid I thought that that wasn't a real possibility or anything that makes sense But as an adult I see that oh, that's a possibility like I think also just from where I was from they didn't have like A lot of interracial dating at the time you know it was it was even like you know I lived in like the I lived in the Philadelphia suburb, so it was like very very very white where I was growing up But like even in college Some of my friends will come up to me and be like that's crazy dude they like couldn't wrap their head around it and it wasn't like a hateful thing they're just like it was a mindblower they'd be like bro it's crazy.

Starting point is 01:12:54 The funny thing to me though is like black dudes are always like hey man you scared to date a black chick and I'm like you aren't dating a black chick. Every fucking black dude isn't dating a black chick but the first thing they say is oh you scared of some of that black chick. Every fucking black dude isn't dating a black chick. But the first thing they say is, oh you scared of some of that black chick. They get hyped on you. When they see you with a black chick, they'll get hyped and then sometimes they'll be like, you're an easy target. I can kind of like, I'll fuck with you or they'll do like a hard checkout on your babe. You have to just go nuts. You gotta, you gotta go white boy crazy. Yeah. So if they do like a damn, you have to be, you have to spaz because you can't, you can't tolerate that. So you gotta you gotta get white boy crazy. Yeah, so if they do like a damn you have to be What's your fucking price you have to spaz because you can't you can't tolerate that

Starting point is 01:13:31 So you gotta I've gone white boy crazy a couple of times. Yeah, you're like I'm over here doing your job Well, dude apparently black women and Asian men are the Like Asian women tend to date outside the race a lot black men date outside the race a lot But black women and Asian men tend to not date outside the race a lot So like the yin and yang twins or whatever. What do you say? No, they're just black and Asian men tend to not date outside the race a lot so like the yin and yang twins or whatever What do you say? No? They're they're just black and Asian do not date Well black men will date outside the race where traditionally black women tend to not date outside Oh wow so it's just that's an Asian women date white guys a lot But a lot of Asian men don't date outside of the race so it kind of like fucks you up in the dating pool

Starting point is 01:14:01 Yeah, so but yeah, I think black women are coming around though but yeah, they were they were fiercely loyal it's still you get a little people are You know it does some people don't like it Obviously, you know you get people are like big into like black love or they're like it's not the same and I'm like whatever man That's your thing. Yeah, it's not yeah, but yeah, it's not your fault. Exactly It's I don't I don't feel any kind of way about it, but it's just like you know celebrate that if you want That's yeah, you know, but it's like dude I remember the first time I like even like I was working out with a buddy of mine a black guy, right?

Starting point is 01:14:30 And he like touched my hand. He was helping spot me or something and I was like damn I'd never even touched a black dude's hand or nothing. They have beautiful nails, too. There's like a there's like a level of like Black coolness where you grow one pinky nail long so you can crack a blunt with your long pinky nail. It's pretty sick. Oh wow. Yeah, it was like an evolution of the coke nail. But you can kind of just... Oh that's cool.

Starting point is 01:14:52 Yeah, you can just crack a blunt with a long pinky nail. Oh, being black definitely, there's a lot of parts that seem super fun about it and then there's some parts and I'm kind of like, man, that part, that is not for me. I couldn't handle that. It's definitely, I think it's easier than a black dude dating a white chick Because everyone's just kind of like you know people just people just kind of like way first when you first meet him like kind of Giggle and back. Oh, you like you know you like black girl you know shit like that and I kind of Dap you up and you're like sweet whereas like I feel like the Black maybe it's different now, but back in the day like being a black dude at like a white family party

Starting point is 01:15:21 There was definitely some uncles hitting you with like icicles in the eyes just yeah Actually what you doing over there I heard my one friend was a black dude He was he was dating a white chick and he said like her brother would ask him like weird Shit being like what you think you you would get drunk and be like we like we should write He was a wrestler. He'd be like let's wrestle right now. Oh, he'd be like bro chill man like we don't have to do this Yeah, yeah, it was so he's gay probably but I think black dudes aren't threatened by white dudes as much As white dudes might be threatened by black guys. Well, yeah, because they don't have to be because they can always beat up white dudes

Starting point is 01:15:51 Yeah, bigger dick Statistically bigger dicks can beat you up. Some of that's a rumor first of all I've heard but it's yeah a lot of the ones on the internet yes They've done condom sizing studies and like it's not as much of a difference as you think but there's a difference. Dude, the last thing I would want to have is some big old long dick bothering me all day, dude. I hear you on that. I'm high and tight. I'm ready for action. I'm ready for action at all times. I'm ready for action at all times.

Starting point is 01:16:18 Oh, I'm fucking, I got that John Stockton homie, dude. I'll help you out, bro. I'll try to assist you in whatever you're headed. I'm here dude. I'm ready to run. I'm in sport mode. I was just going to ask you about. There's definitely some white comics married to black women. I think TJ Miller, I believe. Gary Owens.

Starting point is 01:16:40 Gary Owens, yeah. Who else? You, Bill Burr. Bill Maher. Bill Maher's never married to a black lady? Oh, he loves It's crazy He loves That was a head-to-head that was a black wife head-to-head Bill Maher and Bill Burr They were both dressed pretty good, too They both were black wife affected and they got they argued over like there's Israel and Palestine. Oh they did?

Starting point is 01:17:04 Yeah, there's like a fucking viral clip. Really? Yeah, they fear it. They fucking fought. It's kind of funny. Let's hear it No burns ruthless. What is black wife affected? Let me get that and then let's watch the Oh, just when you start dressing better because your wife's black and they really don't tolerate like if you're not dressed Well, like though I fought along I'm I hold it down You know, I still wear kind of like bummy stuff, but they'll they'll wear on you Yeah, black people like to look nice. Yeah, it's important. It's very important and like you in at weddings It's the opposite like you have to dance if you don't dance at a wedding people like what the fuck's your problem? Really my wedding you'd sit in a chair the whole time. Oh, yeah, a lot of pressure to dance

Starting point is 01:17:37 Yeah, you can game on your phone even you do whatever you want. Yeah, you're like I object, you know But you're just so gay, sister, whatever, you can't help but yell it. Look at these guys. Let's see what happens here. I mean, dude. Demonstrating for Hamas, they are in with the terrorists. They were for the Palestinians.

Starting point is 01:17:58 Well, it's sort of the same cause. Why, are you? I'm on the side of the kids. Yeah, that's easy to say. You know, no one wants to see kids dead. This is a war of... That was very brave of you to say that. He sounds like he has no feelings.

Starting point is 01:18:17 Pat yourself on the back. It's easy to say, I'm for the kids. Who's not for the kids? It comes down to real hard-nosed decisions like I'm talking like you're a general country got attacked Israel got attacked I'm not saying that they didn't have a right to go back I'm just sitting there going like how do I look at what the only country in the world that they get attacked and then as soon as they counterattack it's like well we got to stop this shit now don't attack them is

Starting point is 01:18:42 a very simple solution to all this problem in the Middle East. Stop attacking Israel. Hey, you just solved it. You just solved it. I actually did. There you go. That's fantastic. Anyway, we don't need to get onto... Apparently this was the whole episode of them fighting. ...the Ukraine. How do you solve that one, Bill? Let me hear your hard-nosed decision about this. Well, I think some of that's bullshit because I think some of the people, they are...

Starting point is 01:19:03 I don't know. It feels like they had to elect the Hamas because they don't have any other choice Yeah, true, but I guess you always have a choice in who you elect I don't think also I don't think you can go against I don't think you can you vocally oppose Hamas in Palestine? That's a good question might be kind of risky. I don't know That's the thing the worst part is this will be on some That's a good question. It might be kind of risky. I don't know. That's the thing.

Starting point is 01:19:24 The worst part is this will be on some historical record and we don't know how it'll play out. We could be like basically on either side promoting the Nazis and you know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. You don't know the long play of it, you know? But to me, it's like if somebody says free a place, that's the place that needs to be free usually.

Starting point is 01:19:39 Yeah, true. You know what I'm saying? You don't hear free Israel. I've said this before. You don't hear free Kentucky. You don't hear free America. You're starting this before. You don't hear free Kentucky. You don't hear free America. You're starting, you're kind of hearing a little, but you don't hear, you know,

Starting point is 01:19:51 you hear free Cuba, you hear free Palestine. If that's the chant, it's like, that's usually the place that needs to be free, right? Yeah, that's a fair point. That's a tough one to be like, well, hold on a second. What are they up to? Yeah, if he feels bad, you'd be like, well, what do they do? I don't know my heart just tells me and I don't know my hearts. I'm rehearted but um

Starting point is 01:20:12 My heart just tells me that it's just unfair. That's what it feels like to me, but then I don't know a lot about it I got to get some people on that no more. I mean I think the war is totally unfair They're getting they're totally unmatched. I mean they're dude imagine if you're fighting somebody and then someone gave you 90 billion dollars You're gonna crush them. So yeah, I don't know why we're funding that I know that's my one point of contention where it's like But then they'll go well We need them there because they help stabilize the region blah blah blah, but it's like dude 90 bill. It's fucked up They're fine. They're good. Yeah, they're they're set up, but again it's like, yeah I don't fucking know. But they, that's the one thing that disheartened me, because they passed that new bill, it's like 90 billion dollars to Ukraine.

Starting point is 01:20:51 Oh, they keep giving them, well they're using Biden as a fucking human merry-go-round or whatever. That dude's over there like, my son got mur- My son was a four star general at a Arby's, you know? And my black guy at the swimming pool stabbed my son. He's like, what the fuck is he even talking about, dude? He sounds like outtakes from a fucking Larry David episode. That's what he sounds like. We were talking about it yesterday on our podcast

Starting point is 01:21:22 where he's, RFK Jr. was like, dude, I don't know, I forget the time span, but if there's a nuclear threat junior was like dude, I don't know if you're the time span But if there's a nuclear threat in the middle of the night They gotta wake Joe Biden up and he's got like maybe 30 seconds to make a call How fucked up is that? terrifying is that He's got to walk down a hallway and be like what's going on from sleep and be like this is what we're doing. Oh My god, I hope that's not the case.

Starting point is 01:21:46 There has to be people in the White House being like, bro, chill. We'll do it, relax. There's no way that guy's making a decision. There's no way that guy is doing anything. Imagine him trying to eat, this is what I imagine a lot, him trying to eat a piece of Kraft Singles cheese. There should be footage of that, like, dude, prove it. We'll'll open one of those yeah, that's the litmus test if you can't successfully

Starting point is 01:22:10 open eat and swallow a single you can't you're fucking out of here my guy Yeah, no nuclear codes at all yeah, you're right here And everybody's always like the nuclear codes the nuclear codes are the algorithms of the internet Those are the fucking nuclear codes that are killing our our humanity and our being it feels like yeah It's pretty bad. Do you guys have children? Yeah, we have kids. Okay little kids to your father is this uh, I thought I was getting lumped in with Biden I was like, yeah, we got I think we know sorry is yeah. No, no. Yeah, I'm a father. I have two daughters two little kids

Starting point is 01:22:45 One will be two in a couple weeks in a four-year-old Yeah, it's it's the best it is yeah It's very very taxing and it's uh, but it really is the best it really you hear a lot of guys when they have kids They get all like crazy They're like dude if there was a button right now that I had a hit to kill myself or I'd fucking hit it and kill Myself yeah, you don't have to go that hard. Yeah, dude. That's chill out dude. You're a manager first of all at a Jimmy John's. Yeah Oh, that's your family right there. Yes, my oh dang those girls are cute. Huh? They're cuties man That's so cool. But yeah, so when you're when you're a dad or your parent, I guess in general

Starting point is 01:23:20 It's like you live your whole life for yourself before you have kids You're just you know, every single person is just narcissistically self-obsessed. It's just the way we are yeah I am everybody no every single person is and people like I'm not it's like yes You are oh, so it's something you don't even realize till you have a child you mean well It's it's like I think so hopefully you realize if you don't realize it I can be tough, but it's like and it's not the like it's not a put-down or slam It's like as an organism we have to be primarily obsessed with ourselves Oh, it'd be really weird if I was taking care of some kids that weren't mine

Starting point is 01:23:48 That's what I'm saying Like it just just as a person like if there's a dangerous situation where our bodies are designed to preserve ourselves and to advance our own Interests. Oh wow, it's a law of nature. So then when you have a kid You start that drive gets frustrated over and over and over on a daily basis and you either like come to grips with that and like Reorient yourself around stuff outside of yourself, or I think it just explodes your brain. You just completely fail. Hmm Yeah, it's pretty tough. It's a pretty tough job But it's so it's the best dude waking up every morning become every morning now It's like it's the same thing over and over like the kids wake up you get them breakfast and it for me

Starting point is 01:24:23 It put me on like a nice schedule because I was just kind of floating around So damn, it's cool. Did you plan on? Having a baby or was it a surprise? Yeah, we were like both like fuck it. Let's have a kid It wasn't like super planned out, but we were like We weren't trying not to and then she got pregnant. I was like, oh shit fuck and it's it's just like and at the Do you yeah, does it's it's just like oh and at the Do you yeah does it feel like you have mixed kids you just have children It's really have kids you don't really we don't really like because then when you have kids you get kids books So you get like different kids books now. There's been a lot of like

Starting point is 01:24:56 Political and racial ideology that's been pumped into kids books not all of his bad Some of it's like you know love your hair shit like that right then you get like some political stuff So like I've been kind of like I like screen out some of the books if they're like too political, I'll just like show them pictures like, oh look at this lady. Yeah, like Horton hears a Harriet Tubman or whatever. Yeah. You're like, yeah, yeah. This feels a little...

Starting point is 01:25:16 Yeah, it's like, yeah. Anything that's like overtly super political, I'm just like, you know, I'm like, I'm not... I'll just like point to the pictures and make up a story and you know it's like say they're little kids you don't have to like yeah You just saw I don't like I'm not like against people knowing that stuff It's just like dude this kids trying to figure out like squares and circles They don't need to like comprehend like right systemic inequalities yet. They can get that that'll be later right? It's just it's anti-racist baby that book is crazy feminist baby. Yeah, baby's kind of crazy, too Yes feminist dude, it's a baby dude. We can't even make it Yeah, babies are initially obsessed with the mother too. They have to be broke the survival

Starting point is 01:25:56 It's a survival if some gay baby came over trying to slurp on my chest dude. I'd fucking Put him to bed early I would put that fucking fat McNugget to bed early, dude. The crazy thing about being a baby is you can be as fat as you want and people fucking love you, dude. It's almost like the Yokozuna in Japan, you know? Yeah, true. That's actually, that's a fair point. But actually people love fat babies, man. Women squeeze their cheeks and they're like,

Starting point is 01:26:24 man, you like so fat Yeah, they're crazy too because when you have a kid they like the smell of their baby poop I've heard this from multiple women like it smells like buttered popcorn. It's dude. It's so gross. Oh, it's disgusting But no having kids at school, man It's it's like it'll it definitely for me at least it kind of rocked me to the foundation on one level But then you're still your normal self But you're just hyper aware because like I used to have an anger problem. Like I would fucking break glass.

Starting point is 01:26:47 Really? Oh, I was so bad. What do you think it was from? I have an anger problem. We have an anger guy coming on in a couple weeks. Do you really? Yeah. I don't, dude, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:26:54 I mean, I can go into depth. I think I could venture a guess that was like sometimes in households, there's like certain emotions aren't on display, and anger can certainly become a primary emotion. If you're like in a household where people aren't on display and the anger can certainly become a primary emotion if you're like In a household where people aren't exactly talking and sharing feelings everything gets bottled up So then every feeling it's channeled into anger eventually so just becomes like you just becomes natural to you just to fucking spaz So I was just a spaz. I don't know I come from a long line of Irish spaz's So I would just like especially like you know in the early stages of our relationship you get into those like those arguments

Starting point is 01:27:27 Where you're just like I don't you get so disoriented because you're like I don't know if I'm right I don't know if I'm wrong right you just start to spaz and I would be doing the dishes and just be like Like smashing glass, but then like yeah once you have to like that kind of shit has to stop once you have kids Or you can just keep going and terrify them mmm So you got to like you know I'd have to like really I had a rain that in that I did it break their heart It should be so scary, dude It's so good as I can remember as a kid like seeing your parents yell was like fuck dude Just was shitty my dad. Yeah was like he was so old

Starting point is 01:27:56 He was probably when I finally could get a good look at him. It's probably about 76 damn, and he would Damn. And he would, um... He would drink sometimes and he would like, put his, park his car, like in the ditch outside of our house. Yeah. It's not a good luck when you see that car in the ditch, you're like, fuck.

Starting point is 01:28:14 We thought it was so funny, dude. And dude, one time our aunt came to visit and she was like 91 years old, dude. It was my dad's sister. We'd never even seen anybody this fucking old. Really? She just rolled up? Yeah, she came to visit. I think she was 90 or 91. And we were just like, what is going on?

Starting point is 01:28:33 That's wild. She couldn't even talk to us. Damn. So how old was your dad when he had you? He was 70. He was an older guy. But it was just, it was so bizarre. She couldn't even talk to us. But she painted us some pictures, I remember. That's kind of cool. It was really nice of her

Starting point is 01:28:46 He painted like wild flowers from I think Mississippi or something. That's pretty that's nice. Yeah, it was very sweet of her But yeah to answer your question that was kind of it like you just you get kind of like you just if you see Spazzing you're like yeah this is just how I handle stuff and then you just start spazzing and then like you know if you don't learn how to like Logically process whatever that surge of emotion is it's just like I'm gonna fucking spaz I still I'm still guilty of it. Yeah, like I like kick if we have like an empty paper bag I'll fucking everyone leaves on Kick that bit kick it as hard as I fuck that motherfucker to I also stopped talking

Starting point is 01:29:18 I was talking my dogs real mean too. I would like I'd walk my dogs and they yank my arm I bet you motherfucker knock it off, And I had to like chill with that. I can't do that. But yeah, I was just, you know. Hazing, huh? Yeah, well dude, if you get your shoulder yanked, it's like my dogs are like 60 pounds. Yeah, never, dude.

Starting point is 01:29:32 One of them yanks your shoulder and you're not expecting it. It's like, it is the most infuriating thing. But then if someone sees you doing that, they're like. This guy's. In my house, it was like, you could hit dogs in my house. It was like just, that's where we were at. Oh yeah, Philly, Bic.

Starting point is 01:29:44 Kids got beat. That's Michael Bic country. Yeah, kids, Philly kids got beat That's Michael Bick country. Yeah kids You're bad you got hit the dog was bad of course the dog got hit too So I like thought it was normal to hit dogs. Yeah, I learned that it's not Dude dogs used to patrol our neighborhood attack kids really attack people male people oh GAYs Everybody did they would bite everybody, dude. Let's watch the rest of that bird thing. Do we watch his part?

Starting point is 01:30:09 I want to see what he said, back. Or just see what he said. I want to see what he said. A simple solution to all this problem in the Middle East. Stop attacking Israel. Hey, you just solved it. Stop attacking Israel. I did. I actually did.

Starting point is 01:30:19 There you go. That's fantastic. Anyway. All right. We don't need to get onto that. Let's go to Russia and the Ukraine. How do you solve that one bill? Let me hear your hard-nosed decision about that. Well, let me ask you a question How is war still legal all this shit that's been canceled legal? Why is that still fucking great point?

Starting point is 01:30:36 Would you like a real answer to that? So I stole the Mars answer mother for something to be illegal You have to have the capacity to enforce it and you can't enforce against war or else you have to go to war with the country that's going to war and we don't want to go to war with Russia over Ukraine. What would be the sense of making it illegal? That's really gonna stop Putin? No. To stop people from going to war you have to also put boots... You can't sit down and talk it out. Why can't Putin do a podcast with the head guy? Like you just solve the Middle East on a podcast. Why can't they solve what they're doing on a podcast?

Starting point is 01:31:11 It makes us why this is not your thing Like that guy that has a fantasy football team and thinks he's a fucking GM That has a fantasy football team and thinks he's a fucking GM Like why am I fucking listening to you like you like you've done something That's hilarious. Yeah, Bill Marzano shit, dude We was super woke and then he pandered when he realized his audience was leaving. He definitely got more sent you think that's what it was He thought I certainly think that yeah, it was a financial thing Yeah, he got way more centrist cuz I started seeing like he was like Every all these idiots are wrong you're taking horse medicine or whatever yeah

Starting point is 01:31:50 And then you've certainly seen him come back over to the other side he flipped big-time I mean I was delighted to see him flip like that But I get what you're saying if you have you start getting enough hate now You can just like measure it in real time you see it You're like oh fuck these guys all dude if you go on YouTube mm-hmm almost every comment is like fuck this Some gradient of like you know whether it's Trump or like almost 80% of comments like Trump rules It's like mostly can some reason like conservative people commenting. I don't know if it's like bots or what yeah It's like if you were to watch that clip actually that I think I did read that a lot of people were slamming Marb

Starting point is 01:32:20 Like what a smug fucking whoa? Yeah, I guess my mom never liked him and she never really said anything to me But I remember saying that my mom doesn't like bill Mar at all. I don't like bill Mar He doesn't seem respectful to women. That's what I remember. She said to me. That's fair That's I think that's fair for her to say especially back in that you know yeah, I don't know I've never met him. You know I just know I haven't either. I'm just joking, but no I just know He did flip-flop hard. I remember just being I the I was delighted. I was like yes It was funny because you needed some ho every host was all

Starting point is 01:32:52 Like really it seemed like not They just all had the same exact plan. It was like remember when they played that video That was crazy when that video talking at once talking about every channel talking about the same thing It was like yeah at a certain point you can't think we all think we just live in some like people are gonna notice Yeah, right, and it almost seems like we're so dumb. We didn't have it is fucked up man that like for that bugged me out And is this a real video? That's a real thing. I think so. I mean that'd be crazy to fake that Fox and Antonio's Jessica Headley. And I'm Ryan Wolf. Our greatest responsibility is to serve our Treasure Valley communities.

Starting point is 01:33:29 The El Paso, Las Cruces communities. Eastern Iowa communities. Mid Michigan communities. We are extremely proud of the quality, balanced journalism that CBS 4 News produces. But we are concerned about the trouble of trying to get responsible. One side of the story is plaguing our country. Plaguing our country. I mean... They definitely have a script, people are writing scripts. Well it's just, they're all owned by the same

Starting point is 01:34:08 three or four companies now. It's like, it's like, it's the same reason why it's, everything's just kind of the same. It's like, it's all Panera bread. It's just the same seven companies own everything. Of course. So when people are finally like, you can't just expect that people don't have something inside of them that

Starting point is 01:34:27 detects what when something is inauthentic, I think and that's the last PCU probably to go is that part of you that Yeah, well, I think that I think people underestimate the vast majority of people and it's like a tough thing to think about Just really don't think for themselves that much Yeah, it's driving is true And then it's like you know you can really just kind of pump a message out they don't agree It'll land with a huge majority of people. They may figure this out I think it was Bernays was it was like Freud's nephew Did that whole book propaganda they like study this like dude you can convince people of anything

Starting point is 01:34:59 Freud's nephew must have been balling too because yeah, yeah, he's like my uncle's fucking Freud. He must have been smashing been balling to because yeah, he's like my uncle's fucking Freud. He must have been Smashing yeah, apparently he convinced women to smoke cigarettes women didn't smoke cigarettes until There was a company that was like we got to drive up our sales and he like he's like I got it and he just Had like a famous actress smoke a cigarette at a parade and cigarette sales women just fucking spiked Crazy, it is crazy. Dude. I wish I wouldn't smoke Yeah, man Armageddon, dude Good for Burfer speaking up though at least Burfer going after Bill Maher. Yeah, it was funny. He's very he's very entertaining with all that stuff

Starting point is 01:35:37 Like what are you a fucking general? It's like fuck. That's funny. Perfect line to a general. Yeah Yeah, apparently he was like nasty though. He did it the whole time. Bird did? Yeah, apparently Yeah, they had like a super cut of just him just fucking leveling him the entire time So that's tough, especially Bill Maher like you're saying I don't think he's equipped for that kind of cut fight really because he's like going into like the issues that you know From his perspective like let's talk about this from a macro perspective and burrs like you're a fucking loser and you're like God burr is fucking incredible dude. He's funny as fuck. He's one of none dude. Yeah, that's how rare he is

Starting point is 01:36:18 He's nasty as fuck. But yeah, he crushed a man He's uh, yeah, he's a big COVID guy too, I noticed that. He became, he was like number one COVID guy. Who, me? Bill Burr. Bill Burr, he was pro-COVID? Well, yeah, pro-COVID, pro-MAS, pro-VAX, you know, which is his prerogative, whatever.

Starting point is 01:36:34 Yeah. But at least he's his free thinker, he's able to think for both sides of things. It's not always just one side of things. Oh yeah, he does, he does a good job of that. Him on, his appearances on Conan are really funny. And COVID, like I didn't know if it was real at first, but then when people are dying, I was like, oh, something's really going on here. And then people I started to know got sick because first

Starting point is 01:36:52 it just came from the news. You were like, people are getting this thing. It was kind of invisible. You couldn't really see it. Yeah. You know, um, we had like a bola before that. We don't, we had a couple of little things, but they were like, this is it. But I remember just looking at the stats and being like, I don't think I have to worry about this that was my only gripe about it It's like dude you could have like preserved the elderly Let the obese chill and anyone who was like younger and not like had emphysema should have been able to just do their thing The entire time yeah, they were like hide your fat friends and everything they were like making all these crazy my friend Would go and get his groceries delivered

Starting point is 01:37:28 in his yard, have the guy set him out there. He would go out there with a fucking pressure washer and pressure wash his fucking groceries, dude. Yeah, that's crazy. In a hazmat suit. I'm like, dude, you are a pussy, dude. I would rather die next to a couple things of Ritz crackers in front of my son than ever see him let me hazmat suit down. Some miracle whip and some fucking

Starting point is 01:37:57 oatmeal squares. Dude and that was the crazy thing because I had my first daughter right at the beginning of COVID so we were in school and and the parents were trying to make the kids, like, dude, fucking two-year-olds. There's like a daycare, early childhood education, trying to make them wear masks all day. And it was like, bro, give it up. They're not keeping these on all day. And also for a two-year-old who's virtually at zero risk,

Starting point is 01:38:18 you're going to tell them in their formative years, like, there's a giant virus and we're all dying. Like, dude, let them chill. You can tell them people are getting sick, but,, but like dude they were mask on all the times and it was where's the virus now? Dude, that's a thing. It's fucking gone Exactly, it's you don't hear about it If you move X cards that shit didn't tend like what was that for for now and now the people that have it They don't know if Mike gets sick, and you know now the I believe you can't trust I don't know

Starting point is 01:38:45 They're I don't want to get it. I just think people hear so much of it. They're probably sick. Yeah I mean also it's a throwback now, but yeah, they were funny too cuz they were just a piece of paper Yeah, you could just fake them like and there was no penalty for if you faked one. There's no criminal penalty I don't I had four fake ones dude. Yeah, I got into different countries Because they were just look at it. I have a picture on my phone to be here. It is and they'd be like cool, man I'm like this is a fucking ridiculous So dumb man um what else happened in the news guys let me see Peru classified transgender non-binary and intersex people as mentally ill Peru

Starting point is 01:39:24 Wow, what did they say why that's a good question I? binary and intersects people as mentally ill. Peru. Wow. What did they say why? That's a good question. I mean, Peru's a Christian nation, I do know that, but I'm not saying that justifies it, I'm just laying that groundwork. The controversial decision was made to ensure the country's public health services could guarantee

Starting point is 01:39:39 full coverage of medical attention for mental health for the trans community, Peruvian Health Ministry explained That makes sense In order to bill insurance, you have to, it has to be a mental, like some sort of mental disorder Oh, so it's a helpful thing It's kind of nice, they did kind of a nice thing Being gay was a straight up mental disorder in the 70s

Starting point is 01:39:55 It was listed in the book that was like that There's a book, it's called the DSM, that has every mental disorder And every year people have to argue like what's still one, what isn't, like how, you know, blah blah blah But yeah, being gay in like the 70s was like a metal. It's like a clinical metal metal So I mean it had to seem like it if you think about it imagine you're hanging out somewhere, right? Yeah And you're just sitting there with your buddy or something you're watching like The Cubs or something watching Andre Dawson And your buddy keeps fucking putting his hand on your leg

Starting point is 01:40:22 right And you tell him like, you know, hey Mark. What's up? Your hand keeps moving over here. Is something wrong with your elbow? Is something wrong with your shoulder? You have to call 911. Is something wrong with your bicep?

Starting point is 01:40:34 And he's like, no, I'm fine. And it keeps happening. And then it starts rubbing on your chest or whatever you're like this dude. Doesn't understand that something's wrong with you. You're gonna think then that he's mentally mentally disabled true. It's a fair point It's actually a fair point even he would probably think it in the beginning even like some guys I'm sure we're like the hell what is going on?

Starting point is 01:40:55 Could you imagine oh god if these being like I just want to suck my boss's dick so bad Yeah, there's no one in the world you could turn to and then look man I want to suck my boss's dick more than anything everybody get the fuck out of here right now people would beat your ass Yeah, or people just be like though. You're crazy. That's uh You would have to think you're crazy because if you didn't even know about being gay imagine You never even heard about being gay. Yeah, you just seen your parents and suddenly You're being gay, right? you've seen your parents and suddenly you're being gay, right? Yeah, dude.

Starting point is 01:41:25 Or you look at like your brother, your neighbor, your male neighbor. God damn. And you just like kind of start fucking feeling some type of way about them. Yeah, man. Like a candle for no reason. Yeah. It must have been crazy. That would, I've never envied that, man.

Starting point is 01:41:41 That's gotta be- They used to do lobotomies to un-gay people. They used to do... Really? Yeah. They would do lobotomies thinking that it could help them. Damn. Cut the gay part out.

Starting point is 01:41:51 But so actually they did it all, it was a positive thing. That article made it sound like it was negative, huh? Yeah, see, I could be wrong, but that's what it sounded like in order for them to get help. Or like if they want to... It's something you can bill. Is that right, Nick? Are we in the right field here of it? Yeah, I think Matt's right, and I but I do think people are just running with the headline and being like peruse Bruce fucked up. Yeah, and then like the conservative sides like fuck. Yeah, Peru right people will just read the headline

Starting point is 01:42:15 That'll be it and they serve is like fuck. Yeah, Peru Who was that speaker they had a guy who was speaking yesterday? It was the kicker from Harrison bucker Yeah, you see this this was going around Who was that speaker? They had a guy who was speaking yesterday. It was the kicker from Harrison Bucker. Yeah, you see this? This was going around. He was speaking at a Catholic school, Benedict College. Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives.

Starting point is 01:42:41 I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lives told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started

Starting point is 01:43:11 when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school

Starting point is 01:43:38 would convert to the faith. You love middle school, huh? Become a church and embrace one of the most important titles of all. Homemaker. Okay. That's kind of a sweet heartfelt thing. It's just like, he may have, he might have, you know, ran that by. I think it's a nice sentiment that he's trying to go for, but it's also like, dude.

Starting point is 01:44:00 Yeah. He's saying that, well, first of all, I wonder if our school doesn't look at homemaking, because we live, a lot of people are divorced now. People are raised with only one parent. You know, my mother had to work all the time. You know, your dad, so then your mom has to do both jobs, or your dad has to do both jobs.

Starting point is 01:44:21 A lot of times, if you're not able to see both parents, it's not a safe place for even an animal to be raised with a single parent. And we promote it, it feels like a lot with our society. Dude, it's impossible. They used to do that social work school, there's no difference between having a single parent and two parents.

Starting point is 01:44:37 It's like, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? So different. It's a gigantic difference. Dude, it'd be impossible. If I had to raise kids by myself, it's frill. It's hard to do. I'm impossible if I had to raise kids by myself. It's it's frill. It's you can't it's hard to do I'm not gonna say you can't do it, but it's like it is so fucking hard. It's crazy So yeah, I don't think that this I definitely understand where

Starting point is 01:44:55 This is a Christian college is Benedictine. It sounds a Christian. Okay, so it's not that crazy, right? my thing it's kind of like Right. My thing, it's kind of like, I do feel like, you know, people do hate hearing this, but there is some truth to that in terms of like, I do think it's a, I just feel sad. If a woman does, like, gets all, like, you know, has it jammed in her head

Starting point is 01:45:17 that she has to, like, rise at a Fortune 500 company and slowly is like, damn, I kind of wish I had kids. Like, having kids is more meaningful than being, like, in insurance sales, you know like in terms of experience So yeah, I feel like it's like it's a thing women have is an insecurity that if they don't work They're somehow have been brainwashed into like some old like, you know Outdated value system that like they should fight against it. But you know in reality I do think that a lot of women

Starting point is 01:45:43 You know would probably like to not be at their job and like, you know be at home doing stuff It's a fucking it is a job. It's a massive Insane undertaking. Well, it's a job that's being it that's not getting done right now. Yeah, it feels like in our country Yeah, cuz it's almost like a pull like dude women like they're allergic to like minivans So if you show a woman a minivan, they'll spaz like I'd never drive that and they'll drive like a crossover Which is just a fucking minivan in disguise. You can't tell them it's a minivan. You can't they'll spaz but there is something almost Even at night a crossover kind of like takes its fucking sides off and a minivan pops out as a cigarette

Starting point is 01:46:15 God In uniform all day Yeah, I would never tell a woman like you can't work. No, you can do whatever you want, of course. Well, I also think some of it is an over, like there was a time where women like were abused in the workplace. They were taken advantage of. They were abused for sex to get promotions. They were promised promotions and not given them. They had no, they would go to court, but the men in town had the power and they would influence the judges. There was no, it's a fucking nightmare. It's been a nightmare for women to get the equality

Starting point is 01:46:48 that they've needed to also to just have money really, which was the power, right? It's definitely been a hell of a journey. But yeah, I wonder sometimes if the pendulum will swing back some and you will have more women that are just like, want to be a homemaker and I want to be a good mom and Create create a good household and a lot of the women in our society

Starting point is 01:47:12 I think they're a reflection of men, you know I think we don't realize that a lot of times like if your wife is happy not all the time. Mm-hmm, but you know, they're a reflection of of the time. But you know, they're a reflection of, of their, of men, you know? Does it make any sense? It does. It makes total sense, man. Yeah. Like if you love your wife and you lift her up and you, you know, you, then she lives that way. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:38 You know, and if as a father you do that probably with your daughters, they live that way. Yeah. Your daughters they live that way. Yeah, you know, I always sometimes feel like they're there they're They're a reflection of the man in their lives. Yeah, it's true man. It's hard to especially like, you know with any job It's just hard to like remember like okay. Yeah, you get so wrapped up in your job. You're like, oh I have to like Set up like a culture in this house and make sure everyone's okay and like do stuff because you get you get into a thing where you're Just like all right. I'm done my work. I'm gonna go home. We're gonna watch TV. We're gonna chill and I totally get that but yeah It's it takes a lot of effort and no one's really incentivizing you toward that effort like with work Everyone's like, you know, they're dangling carrots over your face all you know all day long

Starting point is 01:48:17 But for having kids and like raising a family you it's totally up to you Yeah to be like here's how we're gonna do this and it's difficult But I do think women got sold an idea that like they have to be kick-ass business women and like anything less than that is like a failure and like a Disgrace for like the women struggle and it's like well I think that I think the women struggle helped and people finding out like oh, yeah People were pretty miserable to women for a long time. Yeah, now just let them do whatever they whatever they really want to do Let them do I I get why people are mad at that, but I I still I'm like that's not a bad thing

Starting point is 01:48:47 He's genuinely thinks he's trying to help people man. He's not trying to take a dick like stay at home, bitch Yeah At one point buck or mention the word pride then clarified that he wasn't talking about the deadly sin sort of pride that has an Entire month dedicated to it, but the true God centered pride that is cooperating with the Holy Ghost to glorify him Okay, so he really oh, yeah, he's just a devout. He's a devout Christian or Catholic. Maybe I mean that's the thing is about some of this it's like you can't go to a devout Catholic and Then and expect non devout Catholic shit, you know, that's right. I love about like the way the media covers a lot of this stuff It's like yeah, most people might not agree with the guy or some people might not yeah

Starting point is 01:49:25 But you can't go to a chocolate shop and get pissed when somebody fucking gives you some chocolate true Yeah, that guy's a devout Catholic, then that's what he believed. It's like it was a safe space He was in a safe space, and you know it's like if my dad sat in like a liberal safe space He'd be incensed he'd freak yeah, like, yeah, he doesn't go there. So it's like, yeah, I get it. It's like, dude, I get if you're gay, that would piss you off. But if you're not gay, you're like, whatever. And if you're like super Christian, you're like, fuck yeah. It all depends on like what you're up to.

Starting point is 01:49:54 Right, there's people for everybody, you know? But we act like, sometimes the media acts like there's not people for everybody in a way. They only want to create, but then that's their job. Yeah. Maybe I'm being a downer today. Yeah, maybe I'm being a downer today No, you're not being a downer. It is like I mean we're having like There's a guy Ken Wilber who writes it. I think it's like the best take on this I've ever heard about how historically human beings have gone through just different levels of just consciousness consciousness where it's like like originally

Starting point is 01:50:21 the thing that like Motivated humans like the highest ideal is just being powerful and dominating others like if you're a Roman if you're like, you know, like Alexander the Great if you went and fucked up a whole bunch of people You were the man like you would be like God loves me. This is awesome And then we kind of evolved into like Christianity and all that, you know Whatever that was kind of like actually, you know We should be nicer to each other and then we came up, we should be nice to other Christians and like kind of fuck everybody else.

Starting point is 01:50:48 We went from like, they call it like power gods to mythic membership, and then from mythic membership to the scientific worldview. And they're saying the last one, the newest worldview has been this kind of like woke, kind of like postmodern woke ideology. And now we have people at different levels of this and they're all just entrenched in their worldview and fighting each other. And he's like, it's just gonna go on, you know, until people are just like, alright, fuck it. And they transcend all of them, like, look, you do your thing, I get it, I don't agree, but like, I don't hate you because of it. Yeah, that's the part. Yeah, I think hating people because of it's bizarre to me, but I'm not shocked. Like, a Christian guy at a Christian college said some really Christian shit. He did.

Starting point is 01:51:27 So it's like, that to me, it's not even fucking news, you know, it's like, let him be who he wants to be, you know. He said, I love my wife and I'm not gay. It's like, yeah, that's for sure, dude. Right. Yeah. I'm not saying I agree with everything the guy says or anything, but let him speak.

Starting point is 01:51:42 It's like, yeah, I think the guy should be able to speak You said a little bit ago that you think there's like a wave of faith wave that's starting up things Oh, can I pee real quick? I'm about to I feel might pee my pants on camera Go pee and we're almost done. I was like a 5 a.m. Pee dude. That was like five minutes long Amen. All right. Sorry about that. No worries. It was a good pee. Hey, yeah, I saw you in there I can't you were peeing, and I came in and then when I left, you were still peeing. I lapped you, yeah, it was crazy.

Starting point is 01:52:11 I was embarrassed about how long I was peeing for. I was like, come on, dude, hurry up. Yeah, there is that weird thing, it's so funny, you'll get embarrassed if you can't pee, and then you'll get embarrassed if you're peeing too long because people, even if you're standing there facing the urinal with your wiener, people people be like that dude's taking a shit. Yeah Like this fucking dude is taking a shit or you'll think the people outside think you're taking a shit like

Starting point is 01:52:35 At what point do people think you're taking a shit look that up Shitting in the urinals crazy too. That's a wild move shitting at the urinals Should be treason you You should get hung. Yeah, I mean, I could look at this. You should be shot by a firing squad. It's like the highest of tests. Well, no, it means you should be allowed to be a lifeguard, dude. Okay, obviously. According to Scientific American, mammals that weigh more than six and a half pounds, that's us,

Starting point is 01:53:02 take about 21 seconds to urinate, plus minus 13 seconds whoa you see that last part Oh, no when you pass the stool the relaxation of the stronger anal sphincter Decreases tension in the weaker urinary sphincter allowing urine to pass the same time, okay? Is that what does that fact mean that you can pee while you poop I? Don't think you can I don't think I've never done it can pee while you poop? I don't think you can huh? I don't think I've never done it. If you pee while you poop the fucking cops will show up. Who does that? We're in Philadelphia? I've never heard anyone successfully do it. I would never do that dude. I live by a church. They would know immediately when I went in there. They'd be like, yup, he did it.

Starting point is 01:53:48 You were talking about faith, man. You think there's going to be like, people need something. I do think that not having faith is, there's something that's not helping people. The rest of this seems fucking aimless. Life starts to seem kind of aimless and purposeless. That's the thing Yeah, yeah I don't I honestly like you know it was like like Bill Maher was all about this way back in the day when he did religious where he went around and like debated like

Starting point is 01:54:16 conservative Baptist Christians down south and was like you actually think a guy in the sky and it's like that whole arguments ridiculous But it was cool to be atheistic back when like they were still kind of like a stronghold of religion But now like we've lost it all and it's dude. It's terrifying to be like we're just totally alone We're like a cosmic mistake. That's just like here like a fucking amoeba just eating and shitting. It's I think Now that it's completely collapsed it'll get rebuilt in I think now that it's completely collapsed, it'll get rebuilt in a more thoughtful way. It isn't a literal interpretation. That's people's thing. But it's evolved a lot in terms of the concept of God, what it could possibly mean, the consciousness in the universe.

Starting point is 01:54:57 Then you take the Eastern stuff that's blending in, and then you add YouTube, which is now people can learn about anything and kind of reconceptualize their own connection to God rather than just kind of like being in Sunday school And you know and having someone just being like this is how this works because there's like with religion and again This is more just Ken Wilber stuff He talks about there's like translative religions where it's like them and he's a human being Ken Wilber. Yeah, he's human being He's he's doing his stuff. I think he's one of the smartest guys out there still alive. Yeah, he's still alive He lives. I think he lives in Boulder. He's doing his stuff. I think he's one of the smartest guys out there. Still alive? Yeah, he's still alive. I think he lives in Boulder. He's 75. I'd love to meet him. Let's keep that on the list.

Starting point is 01:55:31 Bro, he would be a fantastic get. He talks about this, how a lot of the religion people grew up with here is like translative, where it's just kind of like, here's how the universe was built, and here's what happened then. There's no process toward transforming yourself. There's translative and then there's transformative religion. A lot of the Eastern stuff is more about transforming yourself. Then whatever. I think within here, people can start to learn about there are pathways to transform yourself

Starting point is 01:56:01 over an entire lifetime to make you a more loving person and like you know you can tap it whatever I don't know. I'm like out of my element with you sound insane a little but I Also think that you're a very smart guy and a super communicative guy man, but I think um yeah I think there is it is getting I was just joking no it's funny It's very fun. I do I lose the thread hard on myself. Oh, I hate that dude dude It happens to me all the time. I swear. I'm like I'm right there It's like we tell people to come over you're gonna show him something and then nothing there But it's like 30 feet away. I can feel it. That's the problem. I can feel it. I just can't put it into words

Starting point is 01:56:37 Oh, yeah, dude, um imagine how Biden feels I make fun of him all the time. I'm just as bad as him. I'm like And there's fucking nothing. I make fun of him all the time. I'm just as bad as him. I'm like, uh, uh, then, uh. But they're like, when you do learn about stuff like that. Dude, imagine when he closes his eyes, he just sees it. It's just like a pigeon eating a caramel or whatever. There's nothing in there.

Starting point is 01:56:54 It's crazy. He's obviously just being used, obviously, by the new Jim Henson, whoever those people are. Um, but no, there is something about religion. There is something about, like, uh, yeah, having faith, no, there is something about religion. There is something about like, yeah, having faith, believing in something that's greater than us. And yeah, I think maybe we get away from like the word. It's like not as locked into the words of things, but more about the feeling and what it means to be human. And then also like if you use certain religions if Christianity or

Starting point is 01:57:27 Mohammed ism or whatever is your Pathway to believe in faith then that's just your that's your pathway You know, I think we're getting past the point of like thinking that no one else can have another pathway to like That seems kind of outdated, you know, that's the Ken Wilbur guys That's that's an example of mythic membership or you're like my group has absolute direct access to reality Everyone else is wrong and he says what we're all get to eventually is called tier two thinking where you go Like I can see where you're coming from. This is kind of my thing. I what you're doing sick We're all kind of doing, you know, the same thing in essence with like different, you know We got like different clothes on turn in terms of our thoughts. We're all doing the same thing

Starting point is 01:58:02 But yeah, dude, it's like there's like dude if without, if without, I think if you're religious, like actually religious, like you have like a real spiritual connection, I think on average you live like eight years longer. Yeah. It's crazy, and the studies are just like irrefutable. Oh, well imagine just the only thing that you cared about. I mean, I even notice as I get older, it's like, I don't have a family, right?

Starting point is 01:58:20 I don't have a wife or children. I'm at home sometimes and I'm like, what am I even doing? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've done that myself. Where you sit there and you're like, what am I gonna do now? What is the purpose of any,

Starting point is 01:58:32 or what is like, like there's purposeful stuff that happens in moments and things to think about and enjoy. And I'm not being like a downer about myself or about my life, but just like, yeah, there isn't, there must be something greater than just this. And so yeah, I think family helps you see that,

Starting point is 01:58:51 believing in something, getting up every day and believing that the universe cares about you. I think having a society that reflects that we care about each other and that we care about the universe and that it cares about us too, you know? Yeah, it's not that crazy to be like, like we're, we somehow consciousness emerged within our heads, why would it not be something prevalent in the universe?

Starting point is 01:59:12 Like, why would it not be in the universe itself? To be like the universe at whole isn't conscious, but somehow out of unconsciousness we have consciousness. Yeah. It gets real crazy. It is. It's total cap. But it's like- That fucking cap is fucked, dude. It's not that crazy. You think a universe that cap. That's fucking cap as fuck, dude.

Starting point is 01:59:25 You think a universe that can't think made something that could think, dude? That's what I'm saying. And designed itself perfectly. It's unbelievable the way it's set up. Perfectly. So yeah, for me, the older I've gotten, I've been like... And that's why they call it faith. It's like, I can't prove it, but I will definitely hedge my bets on, like, dude, the universe... It's also like an ant trying to explain Florida to like they can't and they can't comprehend Florida

Starting point is 01:59:49 But like for some reason humans have this inkling that there is something beyond themselves and it's universe. It's totally universal, too That's a good point dude totally universal and human beings throughout pretty much all of time Yeah, you'd have to how could you trick you could never and's not even like, I don't even know a ton about religion, but if I look up at the fucking sky at night, I feel like there's something happening here. Exactly, exactly. What it is ain't exactly clear. Exactly, you go, I am that sky.

Starting point is 02:00:19 There's a man with a gun over there, and now we're back in Philadelphia. Guys, Matt McCusker. Thank you so much man. Congratulations Everybody loves you so much. I'm so grateful that you and Shane have each other and have been on this journey together and Yeah, just thanks for coming and spending time with us today. Thanks for having me man. Awesome. Thank you.

This Past Weekend - E504 Matt McCusker

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