This Past Weekend - E517 Andrew Santino

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Andrew Santino is a stand-up comedian, podcaster, actor, writer and host of the popular shows “Whiskey Ginger” and “Bad Friends” with Bobby Lee.  Andrew Santino returns to the show to chat with Theo about what’s been new since their last episode, their reactions to the shooting of Donald Trump and what comes next, seeing Dead and Company at the Sphere with John Mayer, why his tense friendship with Bobby Lee made for a great podcast, the time he made the Bad Friends team think he quit the show in the middle of a tour, how much meat you can get off of a squirrel, and much more.  Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit  https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  Liquid IV: Go to http://liquidiv.com and use code THEO to get 20% off your first order.  Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to sign up for a $1-per-month free trial. Füm: Go to http://tryfum.com and use code THEO to get a free gift with your Journey Pack. Ibotta: Download the free Ibotta app and use code THEO when you register to get $5 just for trying Ibotta. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Cam https://www.instagram.com/cam__george/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Introducing TD Insurance for Business with customized coverage options for your business. Because at TD Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too. Contact a licensed TD Insurance advisor to learn more. I've got some tour dates to tell you about Bethel, New York, Wallingford, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Bangor, Maine, Moncton, Canada, Las Vegas, Nevada. We're coming back during the LSU USC football game weekend. That's August 30th and 31st.

Oklahoma City, North Little Rock. Finally getting there at Arkansas and looking forward to that, baby. Praise God, man Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri, Sioux fall South Dakota lacrosse Wisconsin Green Bay, Wisconsin and Moline, Illinois All tickets are through theovon.com slash T-o-u-r and thank you so much for supporting live comedy

Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's a podcaster. He's my friend. And I'm just really grateful that he's coming in today. You know him from his podcasts, Whiskey Ginger and Bad Friends. He's got a bunch of new tour dates coming up for his fall tour. I'm grateful to spend time today with

Mr. Andrew Santino. I'm on the stage. I'm on the stage. Fucking Fitzsimmons. Greg Fitzsimmons? What's wrong with him? He's finally coming out. No. After all these years, because I'm sick of it.

I can't, I don't want to hide it anymore I'm tired. I went to dinner with a buddy of mine the other day came out of the closet. At dinner? Yeah before we even ordered appetizers I'm like. Let me get something in my belly first before I hear that kind of news. Well let me get something in my mouth if you've had something yours you know what I'm saying that's how I know it like, yeah, bro, because there was nothing to do, you know, I didn't realize how nervous I would get if somebody was like, I guess like immediately gay in front of me or like, you know, it was like a reveal. I don't know if it's called like revealing.

It's called a surprise. Yeah, surprise. It's a surprise, surprise, I'm gay. Yeah. But is it a surprise? Cause we usually know. We almost always know you don't have a good. This I had no idea.

I'm gonna have a really good gaydar. Really? Really good. My uncle used to get the hiccups if somebody was gay around him. Right, yeah, you get congested. Well, he just couldn't handle it. I think there was something inside of him.

The Lord, maybe. And you'd see him start to fucking kind of bubble up a little like a fucking, like he was made out of champagne, you know, just, you know. And dude, the crazy, here's the crazy part though, dude. Years later, it's just, he got started getting around his son and then he started fucking losing his mind. He thought his son was gay.

And he wasn't. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. You know, at higher altitudes, I think people, there's more gay people at higher altitudes. Can you look that up? I think there might be.

Well, it does make sense. They're more exposed. Yeah, higher altitudes. Wow. People at higher altitudes have more, yeah, right. Wow. You know, it says who should not go to high altitudes. Is it, should gay people go to high altitudes or no?

Well, it says sickle cell, so brothers aren't allowed up there. Yeah, no way. But you know, that's probably, it's closer to God. So, you know, you're up there. You gotta be careful. He likes who he likes. That's right.

That's all we're saying, dude. Andrew, thanks for coming in, dude. Thank you, man. It's been a minute. Really, really appreciate it, dude. Andrew, thanks for coming in, dude. Thank you, man. It's been a minute. Really, really appreciate it, bro. Congrats on Bad Friends, all the success you guys have had. Thank you, man.

Ditto, I miss you. I miss you ever since you went to Nashville. We miss you like crazy. We talk about you like you're gone. You're not dead, but you're gone. We just don't see you as much. But it's different. I know.

It's a lot different, man. Yeah, how's it felt like, what is the comedy scene like? Because you've been here the whole time. I know you had a lot different man. Yeah, how's it felt like? What is the comedy scene like cuz you stay you've been here the whole time I know you thought about maybe move and you thought about you went to New York for a little bit Yeah, and I don't I don't want to uh, I'm not gonna go any. Oh, thanks brother this guy Is it too hot you want to check it first? No, it's fine, but it I'll throw it on him. Come here for a second No, if I Know I'm good here, man. I like it here.

LA is, the comedy scene is good. It just got shaken up. And then, so now it's back to like humming again. Like everything kind of feels a little bit smoother. But for a while it was like, everyone's gone. Everything disappeared. Everything got quiet. Now I think it's like leveling out.

Yeah. You know, it's like if you're panning for a goal, you gotta shake some of the shit out. Oh yeah, and I think also it probably creates a lot more stage time, because I mean, it was hard for like Joe, Tom. I mean, we kind of were coming up like after them a little bit.

Oh yeah, big time. And it was tough for us to get, you know, like- Consistent, yeah. Right, as much to get, you know, like. Consistent, yeah. Right, as much as you, you know, like they, and so that's just the cycle of it, I guess. Yeah, but you never had a thought to go to Austin, right? You were never gonna move down there. I thought about it.

And I'm still thinking about maybe getting a place there. Yeah. Yeah, just because I went down there for two weeks and I picked up eight new minutes. Yeah, it was great. And it was like, I need this. But do you like barbecue? I don't.

I mean, not as, Tim Dillon, he didn't like it, remember? That was his big thing. He's like, fuck the barbecue. Yeah, he didn't like it. Yeah, and fuck Tulsi Gabbard. He'd always be- He didn't like her. Yeah. Why is that?

He just throws it. It's always a food and a politician with him, you know? Like, oh, I hate German chocolate cake and Pete Boutaget, you know? He just, he always fucking like, I'm gonna put those things together. Yeah, Tim, also barbecue, even the best isn't that good. It's food for uncivilized hicks,

lesbians, and car salesmen. Oh, damn. Well, I am one of those three. Yeah. I just, I never- He's not wrong. He's. Oh, dang. Well, I am one of those three. Yeah. I just, I never. He's not wrong. He's not wrong, dude. It's not a meal that I wanna eat all the time.

I think it's a hot take, but I don't like it. Everyone talks about it like it's the best. I feel sick afterwards. I don't feel good. Eat barbecue? Yeah, I feel sick. I don't need all that meat, that's absurd. What am I doing? Oh yeah, that's a good point.

Am I storing up for the winter? I don't need all that beef for, it's four pounds of meat. I'm all right, man. Yeah, now when you say it like that, it really is kind of sad. And the sauce is just so much like sugar and like- It's sugar, it's all sugar. Yeah.

It's like burned sugar. Yeah. And they just lather burn sugar on beef and you have to just sit there and pretend like your teeth don't hurt after you eat it. I have acid reflux and my teeth hurt, dude. I don't want to do it anymore. It's tiring.

That should be the thing. Which barbecue gives you the least acid reflux in your teeth? It stings. Fuck. I never really thought it's so true. I never really thought about that. Cause yeah, I'll drink a sip of cold water

after and it hurts so bad. Yeah, it stings. Yeah. Your teeth, your teeth are recovering. It's water after and it hurts so bad. Yeah, it stings. Yeah, your teeth, your teeth are recovering. It's like they got in a motorcycle accident. Yeah, they're bruised for a week or two. Wait, somebody told me you got a bike.

Did you get a bike? I got a... Did you get a motorcycle? No, no, no, no. I got like an eight speed actually. My neighbor sold me is that he, I guess about an eight speed, yeah. It's 10, but couple of them. Well, did you pay for eight that he, uh, I guess it's about an eight speed. Yeah, it's 10, but

couple of them. Well, did you pay for eight and you got 10? It's fucking, it's a pretty good deal. No, it's missing something. I gotta go through them again. It's so hard to count the gate. It's like knowing if you really have 10 or whatever, it's like a, it's like who gives a fuck. And then there's that one that's just like this, whatever that gear is on the bike. Yeah, that's like, Hey, I should be juggling. That's the queer gear. That's the queer gear. You're just kicking the air. Hey!

Yeah, that's the meeting fellas gear. There was always a kid growing up who knew how to fix the chains when they fell off. You know that kid? That kid was such a weird, interesting dude. If the chains were messed up on the gear switching, he knew how to fix everything real fast. Brake line, he could replace the brake line. Yeah, and then he'd just disappear into the fucking ether.

Yeah, he died. That kid dies really young for no reason. Rest in peace. RIP. RIP, Mike Sovin. Mike Shovin. That was the guy who did it for you? Mike Shovin, yeah, he died, yeah.

He died, really tragically too. Yeah? Yeah, his brake lines were cut. Uh- yeah. He died, really tragically too. Yeah? Yeah, his brake lines were cut. Uh-uh. Somebody cut his brake lines. What are the fucking irony of that? I know, that's kind of the universe doing its thing. Yeah.

Oh yeah, Karma remembers, man. Dude, yeah, so bad for, you guys just like fucking, it was a perfect combination, man. It was a good time, it was great timing, and then the pandemic helped the show. But when Bobby went back to rehab, which I've sent him to three times, we're trying to keep him safe and clean,

and he's doing a great job. But when he went back to rehab after his dad died, the story goes that he relapsed, I knew, almost nobody knew, I don't think anybody really knew. Like people kind of talked to him, maybe there was suspicion that he wasapsed, I knew, almost nobody knew. I don't think anybody really knew. Like people kind of talked to him. Maybe there was suspicion that he was acting weird, but he's a weirdo, so it's like how do you really, but then he was hiding out a lot.

I knew, he told me not to tell anybody. I got real uncomfortable. I kind of started to, you know, question like, I'll just ruin our friendship I guess and tell him, and tell people. Right. Because he was like, I'll just ruin our friendship, I guess, and tell them, and tell people. Right. Because he was like, I'll never talk to you again if you tell anybody that I'm using.

So I was like, well, fuck it, I guess I'll just lose a friend. And then, really before I started to go after and tell people, um, Collatley came at me and was like, I knew he's using, and I knew he like used you against me to try to hide it, you know? And she's like, I'm sorry's using, and I knew he used you against me to try to hide it. And she's like, I'm sorry you had to go through that,

but then finally he admitted it to me, and he apologized and was like, I'll go get help. And I said, he goes, when I get out, we'll start the show. Because Kalyla, when I had filled in for Tiger Belly, she had been like, go do a show together. Because the fans wanted it, and people talked about it. So when he got out and he got clean, that's when we started it.

And then three months into it, pandemic hit. It was almost like a gift from God, because then we got to just shoot all the time and be together in the studio. I mean, truly, it was, you know. And you need that. If you're really building one, I think you've got to have time.

I think that's one thing, Pete, that I didn't realize, I think, over the years is just like, how much time it takes to do a podcast. There's a lot that goes into it. This is a job. Yeah. And then when I, when Joe, when I first started going on Rogan's,

and then I realized he does a job, he does this job five, sometimes six days a week, and then his other job, and then his other job, and then his other job, and he still has kettlebells in his hand while he's doing it. Like in the middle of it, he's just ripping bells. It's, he's the most impressive work ethic I've ever seen in my entire life. Hands down. The work ethic is through the roof.

And then open a comedy club and change the scene. It's ridiculous. For anyone that has any doubts or any questions or even thoughts about him that are negative or against the grain, you don't understand that guy. He's a machine, a magic machine. Yeah, I wonder how much pressure he feels. And he doesn't let, if he does feel pressure, he doesn't let you see it. That's what's most amazing to me. Yeah, because, well, I think he's,

he deals with it in the only way he knows how, which is just keep going and enjoy it. One time we were sitting in the green room, we were on, when I first went on tour with him, we were playing arenas, and I was like, man, this is incredible. You know, like I was kind of like soaking it in, and he was like, yeah, but you know,

don't let it get to you. Meaning like, just do it, enjoy it, and make it seem like it's any other show. And keep moving. Don't let it be like overwhelming, where you start thinking too much, then you get in your head about it, and then it kind of consumes you,

and then you can become one of those people who's like, how come I'm not, how come it's not, why am I not? Let all that bullshit go. He's like, just be in it and keep moving. Yeah, he keeps it moving. He keeps everything going. He doesn't dwell.

No dwelling out of that, dude. It's so funny, because I think, yeah, once you get going in podcasts, you're like, you obviously want to shoot for the stars. I mean, I know there was a time when we all, I feel like we're trying to not be like Rogan, but it was like, you know, you shoot for the- You wanted to do what he got to do.

I wanted to do what he got to do. Yeah, well, you want to do it well. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna learn from Michael Jordan, you know? I'm not gonna learn from- Go ahead. You know, Carl Malone. Carl Malone. Yeah, I'm not gonna learn from Carl Malone. Carl Malone. Yeah I'm not gonna learn from Carl Malone and it's like a 12 year old wife child you know and that's alleged I people don't know that but everybody knows that but I

do I want to know what was it like touring with bad friends? Me and Bob on tour? Yeah, because I ran across you guys. We were in DC. This is how funny it was. This is how DC was. Theo, I mean, you know, I'm not going to, I don't want to do it to make you feel a type of way, but I'm so proud of you and so happy for you as a friend who's known you for so long.

I was so proud of like you and your success. And it really does make, you know, it's kind of like, cause you're ours a little bit. You know what I mean? Like I watched it happen. So I was like, just proud of you. I know proud is a weird word, but I'm happy for you or whatever. And when we're in DC,

we did one show at the Constitution Hall and Theo was gracious enough to take one night off so we could do it cause the schedules overlapped. So you did four shows there, right? Or five, something like that. Yeah, I think so. And we barely sold out one and he sold out five. That's great.

I was like, God, dude. It was awesome. But then we met in the hotel, we had a great night together and we were chatting. And like- I wanted to be at y'all's show. Well, those moments were amazing because like the road has dull moments where you're humming along on the bus.

It was tough. Was it? And you and Bobby are on the same bus, yeah. Yeah, it was tough. Yeah, it was tough. Yeah, because we have our tour manager on our bus. Like it's like a group effort. Yeah, everyone has to be on the bus.

But- Is that fun? What's it like being in that sort of a, like I can't imagine being on wheels with Bobby. That's where it gets extremely alarming. Yeah, mobile is tough with him. Yeah, because at least you're on land, you can disappear. You can walk away from him.

A lot of Asians aren't good in motion, right? In any kind of form of motion. Have you ever seen an Asian drive a boat? They're not allowed to. No, that's against sea, that's maritime law. No Asians at sea. It's an old, I think it's from World War I. Well, if you think about Asians, like they don't,

there's the kamikaze pilots, right? That's a no, that's and then there's driving Asians is throughout the history of time is a dramatic. Yeah. Yeah. Has been traumatic for people. And then even like, if you go to look at like Iwo Jima, like their troops, they would hide in the tunnels or in Vietnam in the Koochi tunnel. Like it's very, once they get in motion, they can't handle it. Yeah, they get afraid.

Well, you know, I think it's tough when they're like Bob, if you ever see Bob try to like run or like walk fast, he starts to wobble. Yeah, he'll get off axis. It's kind of strange. I'll have to hold him sometimes if he's in a hurry. So I'll shoulder him up if he's in a hurry so we can walk in a straighter line. It's nerve of strange. I'll have to hold him sometimes if he's in a hurry. So I'll shoulder him up if he's in a hurry so we can walk in a straighter line.

It's nerve wracking. And he has only like one muscle in his body. I've seen like a MRI of him or something. It's baffling. Because I remember he sneezed once and blew his back out. Yeah, well, and the muscle moves. That's what's kind of interesting. The muscle, at some point he'll have a muscle

just on his high shoulder. If he was moving a lot, it'll move down to his leg. He'll have- It swims around his body like a coy. It's alarming. Him on a bus was wild. We did 60 some odd cities. Fucking odd, dude.

It was wild, yeah. We stopped and started, stopped and started. I had a, I don't even know if you heard this through the grapevine. I had a, I almost, almost had a, well, I did have a mental breakdown with him at Dolly World. Wait, Dolly World? In Tennessee, Dollywood.

Yeah, Dollywood. Yeah. Had a mental breakdown. Big tits. Yeah. Huge. What happened? So, we had just been a lot of time on the bus. We were just tired of each other, man.

It's hard. You know how it gets. And then he was, we were supposed to go to Dolly World, Dollywood at a certain time, right, at a reasonable adult time, like 11.30 or noon, reasonable adult, and he had slept in past when we were gonna all go together. Then he threw a fit about it, that we were rushing him, which is insane, what do you need to really do?

You put on the kimono and let's go. So we get on the bus, we go, we get to Dollywood. We get in and then he says, I want to sit down, I need a meal. And I said, we just got here. Let's go enjoy it. All the crew is with us. And he's like, I want to eat.

You can go do whatever you want. And him and I were bickering. And I just was like, you know what? You're right. I am going to go do what I want. So I left. And they were all like, oh, where are you going? And I just went on my own.

Some days you want to just be alone. Oh, and there was only one Uber in pigeon Forge. There's one Uber. Yeah. I'm not kidding. There's one Uber and the dude and his girlfriend, uh, were the driving. That was the only car available. Yeah. And the guy calls himself Paul Revere. Yeah. Which I don't like it. I don't like it. And his girlfriend doesn't say, it doesn't make any, any comments about it. Cause said you're not gonna say anything about Paul She's not a lot of talk. No, well and I agree but she He picked me up and I had told I had asked him where the closest airport was because I was gonna fly home to Chicago

To see my parents because I was like I need a break we had four days down anyway And then they got in the uber hours later and the same guy was like your friend Asking for a local airport. I think he done took off. But so my phone was off, so they thought I left. They were like, he quit the tour, the tour's over. They kind of had a moment of panic, and he deserved it, because I needed a break from him being a little brat. So it kind of like checked us, but then, of course,

what happened afterwards, he woke up in the morning, the next day I came back to the bus, and he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and he said he was sorry, and then it was, you know, like anything, he's my brother. But then it was you know like anything is my my brother Yeah, but you fight your brother you fight you fight Oh being on a tour bus is hard. It's hard It sucks. You're on top of each other. It smells everyone's messy. Oh Especially you can hear the way. Oh, yeah

Listening to the way he sleeps. He sleeps soul It's so weird the way he sleeps. You can hear him sleeping. Yeah, somebody said he sounds kind of like a little bit of like a generator, you know? Wait, wait, a fucking real I'll never get a real he's one Bobby is one loose he steps on one bad rock and he's fucking he's gone that's it so I don't want to lose him so I really do take good care of him but it was a while it was a great tour we had a great time but we're gonna go down to Australia at the end of the year because we owe that to them because we canceled it and then after that we're not gonna tour for at least another whole year.

We're bad friends. Yeah. Oh yeah well you gotta take some breaks man and you got to I know you're doing your own too. Yeah I'm doing my own tour in the fall to shoot my new special. I'm doing with Hulu. Hulu nice. Yeah Hulu got a lot of, Hulu pulled a lot of people away from Netflix. Well I think a lot these days it's a Netflix was like the first one. And now I think the people are just seeing more. I wonder what can we see where people are watching? Yeah, Burr moved. Sebastian, a bunch of people moved.

Hulu. Yeah, Hulu's doing it. Well, they're doing one special a month, which is amazing. So you get the whole month. The lineup is insane. I don't even know if I'm allowed to announce some of the people that are on there, but it's incredible. Well, Burr says right here, he's gonna be on there. Yeah, he was one of the first ones that they got. Gaffigan.

Yeah, Jim Gaffigan, Burr, Sebastian, Roy Wood. Is he? Yeah, he's the man. I love that. I think that dude is so underrated. It's unbelievable. Dude, I did Ayahuasca with him. With Roy?

Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful man. Smart, sweet. He's sleeping in the distance. He like had a couple of servings or whatever and then went and took a big nap. Well, you gotta rest it off. Oh yeah.

You gotta do what you're called to do. Netflix, still the top dog though, huh? Look at that. Streaming services by subscribers in the world. Yeah, they're global. Well, here's the other thing. Hulu goes global in 2025. They're not global yet.

So next year is, that's why they're doing this special. I think they're doing the specials in this regard because they want it to go global finally, because they weren't global before. I see. So I wonder if we can show America alone, because this says globally Netflix has 270 million and Hulu has 50 million, but if-

50 is only in the US, yeah. That's only US only. Yeah, Netflix has got to be around 50 to 70, who knows 80 in the US. But anyway, yeah, man, I'm doing that. So I'm touring all fall to go gear up for that. All fall I'll be running around, which I'm excited to do. I'm gonna come, I'm coming your way.

I'll come say hi to you out there. Yeah. In Nash Vegas. Yeah, I love it out there. I have such a good time when I'm out there. Do you? I really do. And I love Lucy at Zany's and I like it over. It's just not, I don't know. A lot of golf over there too at your world.

Big, big golf. I played some good over there too, it's your world. Big, big golf, I played some good golf. Oh, if you like to have a little bit of whiskey and golf, Nashville really is your place, man. I think about that all the time. It's like, man, I kind of don't have the two great elements that people love here the most, you know? Why wouldn't you golf?

You think you could? Mm, I think I could. You're athletic. Yeah, I should probably spend a little more time doing it. I don't want to go out. I've been out there and it's not good. And I don't wanna go out there again and waste people's time because people are a little more serious about it there.

Well, see, I'm good at golf, but I don't give a shit how good people are that I play. I couldn't care less. If you're fun, I don't care. Oh yeah, I just got back from Scotland. No way. Yeah, I went to St. Andrews, the old course, man. It was so much fun. Was it really? I went with a bunch of friends. Yeah, I went with St. Andrews, the old course, man. It was so much fun.

Was it really? I went with a bunch of friends. Yeah, I went with a couple. I actually went with only one good, I went with Charlie Day, the actor, and a bunch of his friends. So I didn't, I was like the last guy invited. I was like, hey man, I, you know. No way, dude.

St. Andrews. What's it like? Honestly, man, it was, it was a dream come true for me. Like as a kid, those are like, you always want to play the courses the pros get to play. Oh yeah. I got to play at St. Andrews and it was, and we played at five other courses, but traveling around Scotland. I mean, honestly, such a beautiful, beautiful country, but truly the worst food I've ever had in my entire life. Oh, it's all War Meals.

It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's like, well, get back out there, get back out there. Yeah, you gotta get back out there, just get some food and go. It's terrible. It's terrible and also this is proof. You need minorities.

You have to get people with melanin to get good flavor and spices. It's way too many whites. It's flooded with whites. It's overwhelmed. Well, I've always said too, like a lot of of people are like we need less crime in some of these cities I'm like, but you're gonna have less good recipes. Mm-hmm bad food. Yeah, that's you. Yeah, what's the you know? What's the balance? Yeah, you want good food? Yeah

If you want good food, dude, you're gonna need bars on your windows, okay? Sorry, you get a cage door, big deal. Lock it up at night. But it's so true, man, people don't want the crime, but they want the food, and that's the kind of shit that's just not fair. Yeah, Skyland was fun, it was just, Damn, dude. It was beautiful, it was beautiful.

We went over there for like eight, nine days, or something like that, and it was a beautiful little trip to go golf. But honestly, it's a bonding experience for friends. It's just a way to see your friends. Cause as we get older, we don't see each other as much. We just don't. Like we have to run each other on the road

or you have to set up a good dinner. Like I was at dinner with Spady and Swartz and the other night and it's like, but you have to fight to set it up. Cause everyone's schedule is like, it's gone. It's so you have to cognizantly go, I'm gonna do it. We have to like map out the time. So this was a way to like make no excuses,

say I'm doing it, don't throw in more work, you know, just go. Oh, that's awesome. Good for you for making that and setting it out for yourself. That's a hard thing to do too, you know, cause I know you're competitive like me and you wanna- Keep grinding.

Yeah. Yeah, it's well, and you're a grind addict. I mean, I am too, it's bad, but you're like, I want to keep doing shows. I want to keep growing my career. And you know, I want to keep building this thing because it's fun once you're doing it. But if you don't take a step back to go do a thing for you, you're gonna be, you know, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, you're gonna be gone. Yeah. Certain parts of you starts to disappear. Starts with my hair for me. A lot of times I'll start falling out. That's when I know I'm getting too stressed out.

Wait, when you're stressing out too much? Yeah, I can just like, I'll just start finding it. My back will just, my back will seize up. I'll start having back problems when I get really stressed out. One time I couldn't feel my foot for like a week. The worst thing is, say you are going to, you're in the bathroom, right?

And you're sitting down and you, you're pooping, that's what I was gonna say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got? And you're sitting down and you're pooping. That's what I was gonna say. But I got it when you said sit down. Yeah, so you're doing a poop or whatever, doing a number two and your legs fall. So you've been there for a long time. Has that ever happened? I like that a lot actually.

Oh, I love it. I like it. Cause then you get up all wobbly-bobbly. When you get up off the toilet, then you look like a Kill Tony guest. You know what I mean? You start wobbling around your bathroom. Oh, dude, you can't even make it back

to wherever you're going. Like, if anybody saw you then, just like, what kind of shit did you take? How long were you there? Dear God, brother. Yeah, but you know what's so funny is I got told that you can't, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. I read, I like to sit and read.

They say you can't, because that's how you get, here they can look it up, that's how people get really bad hemorrhoids, from sitting too long. Uh-uh. Yeah, but I'm not pushing harder, I'm not doing, I'm just sitting and chilling,

but they say if you sit too long, that's how you incite hemorrhoids, because of the blood flow. So now I don't get to sit and chill anymore, but that was my place, see, look at that. Hemorrhoids are when the veins or blood vessels in and around your honest and lower rectum become swollen and irritated.

Yeah, sitting on the toilet too long can cause it. It's bad. You gotta get off of that. I bet this used to happen a lot in like 1600s and shit. Well, think about this. They used to poop in holes in the ground. They'd dig a hole, so it was uncomfortable. They couldn't. Relax. They weren't relaxing. No, think, no, think about this. They used to poop in holes in the ground. They dig a hole. So it was uncomfortable. They couldn't relax relaxing.

Right. No, it's quick and out, you know, like you've been camping, I had to camp, I had to poop against a rock. You got to lean against the rock and poop. You got to get out of there. Yeah. You don't have time to like sit and think, although maybe in like the, uh, you're talking like a

Victorian era, right? When they like, when they, when, when, whenever toilets were first, like a nice sitting toilet was invented. Yeah, when was that? They probably did really sit and really. Oh, once some, bro, once somebody rolled in with a toilet dude, which is basically like a car for a shit.

Right, right. People were like, who is this? Well, you know kings and queens, you know, Kings and Queens, you know, Kings were eating on that. You know, they wanted me, once they saw how comfortable it was, you know, they were like, well, give me a, give me a meal. Yeah.

Oh, that's true. Yeah, give me something to snack on. I can just sit here and it can be one fluid thing. Give me a two way contract. Come on. Roman times. Can we zoom in a little bit? See, that's actually pretty beautiful.

Oh, a group shit, dude. Imagine that. What the F dude. Well, honestly, that's, that's bond. That's actually pretty beautiful. Oh, a group shit, dude. Imagine that. What the F, dude? Well, honestly, that's bond. That's bonding. You really wanna get close to someone. You group shit. And look, if you go back up to that group shit shot,

you can see their legs have to overcross. They can't be leg by leg. You have to cross your legs over each other. But that's the Romans. They did all sorts of weird shit like that. Those are, they were weirdos, dude. Hey, but yeah, what if you're just like, whoa, nice one, Rick, you know, or somebody else.

You guys are in there. Guys, you can't see this if you're listening, but there's literally, it's a bath, it's like a- Shelf, like a shelf with holes in it. It's a shelf with holes in it, but there's no like little walls or anything in between. It's just- Just sitting, just leg over leg.

Yeah, it's almost like you'd be in a sauna. But if somebody cut holes in there and then people were allowed to do number twos as they wished. It kind of looks, it looks more Greek than Roman to be honest with you. It looks like Greeks do, Greeks are, Greeks were into all sorts of fun stuff like that. Yeah, they were more like perverted and stuff like that. Yeah, super perverse. By 315 AD, Rome had 144 public toilets.

The Romans treated going to the toilet as a social event. They met friends, exchanged views, caught up on the news, and wiped themselves with a piece of sponge fixed to a short wooden handle. What if you got little ass on the sponge? Oh. You want to be first on that? You don't want to be the caboose on that sponge? You want to go first? You want to be number one for number two? Ugh. What? Medieval times. Let's cruise up a little bit. This is really interesting. In medieval England people used potties and would simply throw their contents What? Medieval times. Let's cruise up a little bit. This is really interesting. In medieval England, people used potties

and would simply throw their contents through a door or window into the street. Yeah, you'd shit and toss it. Unreal. A more affluent would use a garter robe or protruding room with an opening for way suspended over a moat. Right. Oh wow.

So that was almost like plumbing. It was like, it had a way to get out to the moat. But that was also, and then that's another way to keep people away from your castle too. Oh yeah. Because they got a shit river floating around it. You don't want to get in that. Even when you think about that about moats,

you thought it was like this clean water. Mm-mm. Ugh. That's shit river, bud. See, that's a nice, that looks like on a plane. That's just American Airlines. That's just a, that looks like on a plane. That's just American Airlines. That's a shot from... Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Francis Louis the 11th hid his commode behind curtains while Elizabeth the first covered hers in crimson velvet and lace using sprigs of herbs to disguise the odors. Well, yeah, you forget they didn't shower. They showered like once a month or something,

if you're lucky Yeah, so they stunk a lot of them. So I don't know which one it was but one of the one of the Queens Which Queen notoriously never showered there was one that like refused to shower. Mmm, and she loved it She thought it was like this. She's from slide. L or not. Mm-hmm Fake history on her the curious comes about Elizabeth the first bathing habits. Yeah, oh she did, so she did bathe. People said she didn't, it was a myth, huh? That's a bummer, I kinda wanted it to be real. Oh, I like them bitches, that's a little bit nasty. Little stanky, you like them stanky, a little bit.

I don't like post-EDC, yeah, but not like living in a bird bath, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you want them to be, you want them to be just a little, you want them to be organic, but not. Not farm to table. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I want. The summer Olympics are popping off, baby. That's where it's at. USA just battled their first game against Australia in basketball. They got the dub. That's for sure. If you play a sport or if you ice skate or if you just even just wrestled with your own emotions, sometimes you can really break a sweat.

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Sorry, Grateful Dead and Co. Yeah, the Dead and Co. Yeah, I went a couple of weeks ago. I went like three weeks ago, I don't know. Adam Ray and I went with our ladies and we... He's crushing it. Dude, I'm so proud of the kid. It's awesome.

Yeah, we went and had such a good time. It was also like a last minute. We were chatting, Sal Vulcano came in, we had dinner. Adam and I were talking about doing it. And John Mayer, who's a sweetheart, was like, whatever you guys want, like you want tickets, what do you need? And I was like, I don't think we can make it,

do this super last minute. And then in the morning we woke up and I was like, all right, we'll go. You know what I mean? We just were like, we gotta do it. Like it's a 35 minute flight to Vegas. I was like, we gotta go. And we had an absolute amazing time.

It is one of the greatest visual and audio shows I've seen in my lifetime. The Sphere is, I mean, it's worth every single dime they overspent on it. And they're losing money, I think they're hemorrhaging money that place. Yeah, that's what it says. I know that to build the crane alone that they used

to build the Sphere, alone that they used to build the sphere and Check me on this but There was like it took a hundred trucks just to bring The stuff the crane is made out of it was like the fourth biggest crane in the world I think it's from Belgium or Berlin Wow, I mean Berlin it took that many Belgium or Berlin. Well, I mean Berlin. It took that many trucks just to bring the pieces of the crane and then it took a couple of weeks

to put the crane together. Yeah, who builds, what crane builds the crane? Yeah. What crane was first? You know what I mean? Yeah. What's the first crane that built the cranes? So true at a certain point, you're like,

oh, we need a crane to build this crane. And then that who's built, what crane is building that? Back on the crane gang. That's right. And you know who built it first. Come on. You know who built the first crane. The first crane? I don't know. The Egyptians.

Oh, they did? Yeah, that's how the pyramids were built. They built cranes. Of course they did. Yeah. Yeah, what the pyramids were built. They built cranes. Of course they did. Yeah. Yeah, what the fuck? People are always like, who moved these stones? A crane.

Yeah, you idiot. What the fuck? What the fuck? A guy didn't do it. They built a crane. Dude, I love how every white person I meet is like, oh, the pyramids, aliens. Every Egyptian person I meet is just like, oh, these are some fucking... My dad, my dad loves ancient aliens.

That's his favorite thing on earth. He's obsessed. And I say that on stage, I say he loves ancient aliens, which is crazy because he hates illegal aliens. And I said, dad, you can't pick and choose. They both built the pyramids, man. You gotta be careful. He's obsessed.

Why are whites, yeah, whites are so obsessed with aliens. It's our number one thing. I think it's because like, a lot of whites are so comfortable. Too comfortable. Right, they're too comfortable. So it's like, you start to worry about other shit. That's true.

It's like how you feel, you start to worry about, oh, alien, like, you know, is there anybody else out there? Like it's definitely, those are creature comforts. Yeah, when you get too comfortable, you start to worry about things that you have no familiarity with, that you're just gonna, you kind of make it up. Yeah.

Because it feels like it gives you something to do. Right, if you don't work, let's say you're raising, you know, you're raising a family, you don't have a job, you're stay at family, you don't have a job, you're stay at home mom or dad. There's a downtime when they're napping. And what are you doing midday? You're thinking about aliens. Hey, you're bored, you're around your house,

your vibrator is broken or whatever. Well, it's not charged. Yeah. You gotta charge that thing. You can't keep uncharging that. Put that, plug it in, get back to square one. You believe in aliens, don't you though? You gotta.

You think I have to? Let me think. I don't, I think you gotta believe in something. What's out there? I mean, I think we, the crazy thing is what an anomaly humans are. Right? Yeah. This is weird. We're the weird ones. Like if you look in the forest or whatever, they're no, they all know each other. They know what they're doing. They know what team they're

on. Sometimes they'll fight. Sometimes they'll cuddle or whatever. Sometimes they have that video where like that little duck is on that, um, uh, Badger's back or whatever. But like they know what they're doing. And then we show up like we're the strange mammal. Like if you were in the woods and you saw a bear, right? Like come out of his hole or whatever. Take a couple of pills, cry, jerk off.

Right. You know, and then get on. Transition. Yeah, transition and then get on a computer. You'd be like, this is fucking. Fucking alien. Yeah, this is an alien. This is an alien. So maybe we are the alien, you know, like.

Well, we are, we are the alien, to something else for sure. Well, certainly to nature. Yeah. To the rest of nature, it seems like we're the outlier. Like to fish, I always think about fish. We have to be so annoying to fish. Just stepping in their house

and then they have to get out of their own house. Oh, yeah. Somebody gets in your house, imagine you just have to leave. Yeah. And then when they're done enjoying your house, then you get to come back. Imagine they show up pee in your house.

Yeah, pissing in your house. They just come and piss right in your house. Yeah, pissing in your house. They just come and piss right in your front. Hey. And you have to disappear because they're 10 times your size. Yeah. Yeah, that's another thing about us being so comfortable

because there's nothing trying to kill us all the time except corporations and- I was gonna say for us, except for us. Except for us. We're the best at killing ourselves. We're the only species that works really hard on killing ourselves. Yup. With everything we consume.

Food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs. We're trying to get rid of ourselves. Even the cooters bad. Now there was a study the other day. Was it rotten? No, it just, it's like some of it was, they tested a woman's cooter or whatever. And it was like 20 proof or something. Where was that at?

20 proof? Was that at Indiana University? Yeah, I think it was in Bloomington. That sounds like an IU thing. Yeah. 20 proof is bad. That's pretty, that's heavy. 87, 875,000 square feet of space. That's in the venue. Man. Oh yeah, COVID-delated. I remember that in U2 venue. Man.

Oh yeah, COVID Delated, I remember that and U2 was number one. U2 started. Who's there now? The Eagles are coming, something like that, right? The Eagles are coming. Yeah, the Eagles are about to do it. Yeah.

Wait, tell me though, did you love, did you really enjoy the show? And have you been a Dead fan? Do you like the Dead? I haven't been a Dead fan. I probably know like six or seven other songs probably, right? Yeah, so you like them.

That's a pretty good amount. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like them. My brother is a huge Grateful Dead fan, but he didn't wanna maybe see Dead and Co. because he didn't want to spoil, like, you know, he's like a Jerry, you know, he's like- He was, yeah, he liked Jerry.

Right, and so, but he wanted to go, he lives by Mount Zion, so we met over there, and I wanted to go, and we wanted to do something together. And yeah, I think I love that they have so much art lives in by Mount Zion. So we met over there and I wanted to go and we wanted to do something together. And yeah, I think I love that they have so much art. There's so many little things you know about the Grateful Dead that since they have a lot of cool and unique art and stuff, they're able to make a lot

of neat stuff to put into the visuals, right? Whereas if you were a band, if you're like, Right? Whereas if you were a band, if you're like, you know, Guar maybe or something or Sinead O'Connor, Jojo Siwa or somebody, I don't know if you're going to be able to fill that space with enough intrigue, you know? And history. And history, right. Right. And almost, you almost need something that's a bit historical, maybe, or something that's extremely artistic,

like a group that has a lot of ambiance that comes with it. Right, you can't do, a solo artist would be a little hard there unless they have such a rich story to tell. Right, like a Michael Buble or something, you know, I don't know, but if it were just Christmas and they were able to make really cool Christmas shit in there, then that's a way to do it. Yeah, Boobie at Christmas would be nice though. He is really talented, that guy. People love him at Christmas.

The rest of the year, whatever. Well, yeah, no, I don't need him. I don't really don't need him. Yeah, boob later, dude. Ah, that's pretty bad. But what else did I think? I thought it was amazing how like, well, there's like these things in the seats called like haptics or whatever. And so sometimes your seat will move, right?

So some of the seats, I think like 10,000 of the seats. They have haptics. Right, and they move, and you know, so they'll have like a reaction or, so that's kind of crazy. I thought it was interesting how sometimes when you get there right in the beginning and it just looks like a futuristic,

like kind of cage or something you're in. Yeah, like inner workings of a machine. Yeah, it's not just like you're looking at a screen. It looks like- Robot guts. Yeah, or like inside of a video game. Yeah, some like video game you went into like a space world or something. And then it all kind of a video game. Yeah, something like video game you went into like a space world or something.

And then it all kind of starts to happen. And they don't give you everything at once. They don't show you all their tricks at once. No, they roll it out slow. That's a great shot. Wow. That was you too, probably, I bet. Cause that wasn't, what's wild about it is

they give it so much dimension, you know, through tricks of the LEDs and it really is kind of mind boggling. I guess people get really dizzy. Some people have to take them out of there because they get so dizzy from the movement because the movement is crazy. It physically moves so heavily that I think people get disoriented. Yeah.

Oh, there's times where like the way that they do it, you're like, you feel like the whole thing is moving through space or time. Like you're the entire venue. It feels like you're moving with it. Yeah, yeah, I think they said people with like, kind of like, like same thing with strobes, like people that have heart problems or high blood pressure.

Epileptics or something. Epileptics or if you're French Canadian, you're not supposed to go there because it's dangerous for those kind of people. You know, and that's, it's just a historical unfortunate truth. You get, they get sick easier. Fuck. Yeah, it's sad, but it was a beautiful time, man. It was a beautiful time.

I enjoyed it so much and it was long and like you really kind of get a story and I loved it. Yeah. And I thought what was really cool too at the dead show was like, if you went down to the street, if you went down to just the stage or the stages and if there was nothing on the back and nothing on the screen, the stage only had a few lights on it. It literally looked like you were at a backyard concert. Yeah, it's really crazy. It's like it's so minimalistic and then so grand at the exact same time. Yeah, it's really beautiful.

It had like five lights behind the guys or six, like, I mean small lights. And then, oh, that's you too. That's you too, yeah. And then it had a very, and so if the screen was off it literally look at you're at a backyard show Yeah, like somebody's like a band was playing in somebody's backyard But yeah, I would totally recommend it I heard somebody refer to themselves as a sphere head after they're like I'll never see a show anywhere else now I'm a sphere head. It's pretty limiting. Yeah, definitely limiting, but it was interesting

I'd never heard like I never thought like I'll only see a show at a certain venue. Yeah, dedicating to a venue is tough. Yeah. Because you're only going to get what you're going to get. But I mean, you know, that's kind of life, isn't it? You're going to get what you're going to get. Yeah. So if you become a sphere head, you might as well soak it up. Yeah. Yeah. But what else? Yeah. What does this crane say? The fourth largest crawler crane in the world. Wow, that's the crane. A 580 foot tall crane. Man, imagine being Sarens.

It's made by a company called Sarens. Imagine being David Sarens. That's your crane. Wow. What does your family do? We're crane guys. Big money. We're crane guys. Oh, big money. We're crane guys. Have you ever seen the Costco guys?

You ever seen these two kids? The son and his dad? We're Costco guys. They go to Costco and they just eat stuff and they review it. Yeah, the world is burning. You know, the Statue of Liberty can fit inside of the sphere. Wow. And the sphere is interesting is right when you walk in, it does feel, the whole

thing feels like a presentation kind of, you know? Oh yeah. Like even the, the, the original interior is so neat. You're like, you don't just walk right into the like venue kind of, you know, you walk into like, like a normal venue would be like this other, you know, like the hallways and stuff and the, the, the four. Yeah. Wow.

2.2 billion. Just, I mean, yeah, look at the Statue of 2.2 billion, just, I mean. Yeah, look at the Statue of Liberty, look at the little tiny girl. Oh, dude, all the bitches are in there, her and all her friends. Yeah, well, not as much anymore, they don't talk to Sheila.

Yeah? They got into a big fight, I guess. You've been to Statue of Liberty? Yeah, I think I have. Did you go up in her head? Yeah, oh yeah, I went up there, dude, she was just pissed at her ex about something. When I was there. Right, I actually I have. Did you go up in her head? Yeah. Oh yeah, I went up there, dude. She was just pissed at her ex about something. When I was there.

Right. I actually was fine. I think I was, when I went and visited her, she was in her ho phase, so she was having a good time. Oh damn. To spread and love. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard that's why France sent her here, dude. Cause she thought she had a little out of control. Being too much for France, by the way, cause they're all whores. Paris got ranked the sluttiest city in the world a couple of years in a row. Yeah, back to back. What am I doing in Nashville?

Well, you gotta go to Paris. I mean, do you speak French? Mm-mm. But being from the South, being from where you're from, people do speak- A little bit of French out of New Orleans. A little bit of French, right? Yeah, a little bit of like...

Les éléments en rouleur. See, that's not, you're halfway there, baby. Let's go. That's a great thing to say. That just means let the good times roll. That's a great thing to say. Well, there you go, that's all you need to say. It's not bad, but it's like,

this guy just keeps saying let the good times roll. This guy is mentally retarded. Yeah, but also welcome to the party. Maybe they think you're worth the fun. That's all he knows and that's right. That's right. This guy is mentally retarded, dude. Yeah, but also welcome to the party. Maybe they think you're worth the fun. That's all he knows and that's okay. This guy does it. But even seeing the sphere from your hotel room, I can't even explain how it feels like

something fell off of another planet. All right, that looks alien. And landed here. That's the most alien part is just seeing it. Yeah, it does. Yeah, and walking up to it feels kind of daunting. It feels very like a Millennium Falcon-y, like it's this big, daunting, intricate.

Yeah, it is true. That does feel foreign. It feels foreign. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I don't mean that in a negative way. Because I know the word foreign, people are really taken to heart these days. Most sexually active cities in the world,

what'd I tell you? Paris, baby. Number one. Number one? They're back to back champs. But Paris has also been referred to as a queer city. Well, yeah, we say that. Oh yeah, that's true.

Yeah. LA is number two? No way. California has the highest reported rates of gynar? Oh. Syphilis, yeah. Congenital syphilis, yeah, congenital syphilis. Congenital syphilis and another piece of data likewise provides that young individuals

account for more than five out of every 10 chlamydia infections and more than 87% of those are youth of color. Hey. London. London. I really would not think London would be high on the... Yeah, I think British women are more casual about sex. I think Europe probably is as a whole, right? Everybody in Europe. Yeah.

We're a little staunch. But I guess that means that if LA is number two, we're kind of like a European city. Berlin. Yeah. I imagine Germany... Oh, sex or homosexual sex have always had coexist in the idea of commercialization in Berlin. Yeah. I imagine Germany, oh sex or homosexual sex have always had co-exist in the idea of commercialization in Berlin. Yeah, the problem with that is, you know, in Berlin you got to kind of be a part of their, what they want you to do. You know, and I don't know if you know anything about that stuff, but in Germany, it's a little too much. It's pretty intense. Yeah, it's heavy. The perverts.

There are a lot of perverts. Yeah. Yeah. New York City. I could see that. Oh, yeah. In New York, though, it's just so like, if you like, you got to bring all your stuff with you in the morning, even if you're planning on having sex at any point over, you know,

it's like, you got to pack for sex. You got to pack for sex and you got a hammock, you got some condoms, where it's like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, you got to have a change of underwear and socks. Yeah, you got to bring all that shit and get a fucking restaurant. Some girls got a camel back on because she has to fucking walk back to Brooklyn.

It just, there's no other crazy city to try to have some, to meet up with somebody then in fucking New York. It's ridiculous. Fucking in New York, yeah, that's gotta be a cumbersome adventure. Oh, fucking in New York is for the birds. I think that's why people get into relationships here,

because it's just like, oh fuck, I'm not going home. I don't feel like walking, yeah, it's too far. Yeah, I'll marry ya, it's too far. Dude, Trump. Yeah man, insane. Where were you when Trump got shot, man? I'm not gonna tell ya, that's if the government's listening, just in case, I don't, man, insane. Where were you when Trump got shot, man? I'm not gonna tell you. That's if the government's listening, just in case.

I don't want anybody to hear. Where was I? I was, I was at the, oh, I was at the house. I was at the house. And you know what's so funny? My instinct was like, I'm not even kidding. That's what time we're in now.

I thought it was AI at first. I thought this is a, someone's pulling a prank on people. I was like, someone is doing a very intricate coordinated prank, because AI is that good. They could make that up. But then I kept, you know, then obviously it got exposed and it was real, but for a long, I'm not kidding. That's how fucked the world is that I thought maybe

that was fake or that it was, this was all made up. Yeah, it was true. It was a trip. It still might be So my yeah, I mean who we don't know we weren't there. I wasn't there. I have no idea what's going on in, Pennsylvania That's how so weird the media is these days Like if you don't know you weren't there if you really step back for a second You're like who knows what that you know, how could I know how could I know that that's real? I don't know. I mean could have could have not took, took the hit though. Oh, it was crazy, dude. Yeah. That image, him yelling, fight, yeah, fight.

My God, dude. What, I didn't know. Put that on the American flag. Yeah. You know, put that right where the stars are. It's, that's the wildest thing I think I've ever seen is a guy gets shot and then champions, like a guy who tore his ACL on the field.

And he's doing it. Yeah. I mean, that image is just insane. The craziest thing is, I've seen a guy on the right at the UFC fights like seven times. I was gonna say, he's his number one guy, that guy. He looks so familiar. It's like, so many things were crazy about this. I was, let me think, where was I?

Oh yeah, so I was in Vegas, we're waiting, we're gonna go to the show. I went to watch Diplo was playing at like a date party somewhere, so we stopped by there. He comes walking up, he's going on stage. He's like, dude he's going on stage. He's like, dude, guess they shot Trump. And I was like, swear to God, he goes, they shot Trump.

And I was like, what, is it a new song or something? He goes, no, they shot Trump. I was like, no fucking way, dude. I mean, and nobody had said anything. And he's like, yeah, man, they shot him. And he goes, oh, this is the best part is a party goes and my fucking dad just walked like Like the door was closed walking out to the patio and he didn't know and he fucking walked right into it, dude And it was like it was the same thing. I mean it is

Look you gotta care about the man closest in your life I'm sure but it was just so funny told me those things back to back, dude. And I was like, those aren't exactly the same, but I'd love to meet your dad. I hope he's feeling okay. Right. Similar injury. Yeah. And then he just got up there and started fucking getting the party. Party keeps going. But so that was just kind of strange. And then, oh, he showed me the video on his phone of the kid of the of the shooting yeah and the video started

and he wouldn't forward the video you could tell it was like a long video and yeah you like skip forward a little bit yeah but it was nice I'm like is Diplo really giving me me this much time to stand here like he's just got like I feel bad I'm wasting his time like I'll move the cursor but it's his phone yeah you're not allowed to move the cursor on somebody else's phone that's interesting that's so flagrant to touch someone else's phone. What was the kid's name that did it? They got him, right?

They got the, he's dead and gone and Thomas, Tommy. Tommy Crooks. It sounds like it. Yeah, Tommy Crooks. It sounds like he would do it. Yeah, Tommy Crooks. Who did it? Thomas Crooks.

But then you see a picture of the kid and you're like, what? No. But then you see a picture of the kid and you're like, what? No. Well, one of the wildest things is that people are saying there's no way, did you see the diagram of where it happened? No, no, was it really, what, is it intricate? Bring that up.

The diagram of like who, where he shot him from. The layout of what it looked like. It's like. Oh, he shot him from. The layout of what it looked like. It's like. Oh, he was right next to the. Right, and this is like Trump was speaking like off this way. Right, that's why he got that right ear, right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, good of that. Let me see if that helps a little bit.

Wow. Location law enforcement, snipers on roof. Staged where Trump was speaking. What were the snipers doing while they couldn't see the gunman? Bro, it looks like the only roof that was close to them was that one. So how did they not?

And people were saying, you've seen the videos where people were like, hey, there's a guy right there. And they didn't see it, huh, a little weird. This fucking dude, now this could be easily an actor. That's me, that is me with one of those silicone masks on from him. It's like the Guy Fieri hat that you buy at the store that comes with the hair. What? His face is going, well he was he was up there. We was yelling. They didn't know. We kept saying, dude, he's on the roof, dude. And they weren't listening.

I mean, you could that mouth. We could play it, but that's exactly what it is. I think play 20 seconds of it. Couldn't see them, but we could hear them. So we walked up. Oh, it is a fake. It is probably five to seven minutes of Trump speaking. I'm estimating here, I have no idea. He's got chewing too, big old dip.

Oh yeah, he got chew stuck in his neck. We noticed the guy crawling, you know, bear crawling up the roof of the building beside us, 50 feet away from us. So we're standing there, you know, we're pointing at the guy crawling up the roof. And he had a gun, right? He had a rifle right we could clearly see him with a rifle Absolutely, they called him out and no one did anything. The police are down there running around on the ground We're like, hey man, there's guy on the roof with a rifle and the police were like, huh What you know, like like they didn't know what was going on, you know, we're like, hey right here on the roof

We can see him from right here. We see him. He's crawling the police were huh, what? One of the cops ever been like, huh? I'm like why is Trump still speaking? Why have they not pulled him off the stage? I'm standing there pointing at him for you know, two three minutes Secret Service is looking at us. Okay, stop it I'm gonna call this you don't go do something dude. Yeah You're pointing out of her to this. What are you fucking just finishing a beer? fucking 50 feet away you've God gives you one chance to be a fucking hero and

Instead you pop open another fucking bush light, dude. Both of these gentlemen Just interesting creatures Both of these gentlemen are just interesting creatures. These are actors, dude. This is a fucking backup, dude. They got this dude off of T-MU, this announcer. Look what he's even using to interview him. Yeah, that's not even a mop. That's not even a microphone.

That's a Swiffer. Swiffer. Yeah. Yeah, I don't try. This is very untrustworthy. That's so untrustworthy. Very untrustworthy. I don't like it. But to think though, right, so they secure a perimeter. Imagine seeing, okay, you have

a 20 year old, he walked over there with a rifle bag. He walked like a half a mile, I think it says. And nobody said anything? Yes. That's the part to me that's like... Half a mile is a long way to walk with a big ass rifle. With a fucking rifle. Now you are NPA. It is a long way to walk with a big ass rifle. With a fucking rifle. Now you are in PA, it is a Trump rally.

See the weird thing is you almost expect everybody there to be walking with a rifle. They give you one on the way in. Yeah, yeah. So you kind of expect a lot of that like. Yeah, this is a part of it. Right. Yeah, that's true. Like the ambiance, you know what I'm saying?

Like if it's at a Biden rally, somebody tells them the rifle, you'd be like, oh, what the fuck's going on? But I feel like at a Trump it's more like a you know, American symbolic. Yeah, NRA bring your guns Plenty of time. This is crazy. These people are watching him right here They see a guy. That guy's walking with his child. Where? Oh my God. Wow, I've never seen. How on earth are they're not in recorded history? Like in fact, if they could ever put up a chart, I don't know. Okay, that's that. I can't even tell what's going on now. That's unbelievable. So yeah, you start to wonder, was this put together?

But how do you convince a 20-year-old to just go do something like that? You know? Pack a cigarette and, you know, I don't know, some gas money. 20? Yes. What were you doing at 20? You could convince me of almost anything at 20. Oh, I hope the photos don't show up.

I know that. Yeah, 20s are tough. 20s are a time when I, could I be convinced to get on a roof and... That's a good point, huh? I don't, 20? I don't, maybe, I don't know. You're so gullible. Um...

It just depends on, uh... Sorry, I was saying it came out that he, Thomas Crooks was featured in a BlackRock commercial. I saw this, he was in Black Rock and up in an advertisement for Black Rock. This is where it gets real shaky. This is where it gets real shaky. It's like it's like a commercial for Black Rock. It is. Yeah, it was like a commercial. And he's in school. Look right there. Wow. Wow so creepy. Fuck dude. Everything gets a little twisted

dude but now will Trump be able to speak publicly somewhere again? Like how are they even gonna manage this moving forward? They're gonna have to do what they do with the Pope. You know the Pope mobile? You know the Pope shell? Let's give him a Trump shell. Put him in a little um. Trump tube. Yeah. He'll name it. He'll sell it. Yeah. You need protection.

You gotta get a Trump tube. They shot me. They shoot me. They can shoot you. Yeah, that. Like the Pope. Oh, that's cool. It is dope.

Why doesn't... Like, jeeps should sell that. You know someone in LA would buy that. Someone in LA would be cruising around in that. Well, remember that chick that banged those clippers owners She wore that visor all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like chicks name my little silly rabbit. That was so weird Yeah, so funny. I'm his right-hand man arm She was brilliant

But dude, yeah, I just I mean I can't even believe it. The craziest thing is yeah that girl You're almost like, what the, it almost feels like it's all part of, it's just like, I'm almost not even, I'm surprised. But, it's theater. It all feels like theater. Yeah, we're in the middle of like the craziest play we've ever lived.

That's what it feels like. And what act are we in though? Are we in the third act, you think? Is this it? I think, you know, it's funny you think it could be- Like COVID was intermission. COVID was intermission, that's what I call it now. I call that intermission, dude.

Dude, I love that. And now we're seeing the rest of the play is about to play out. Fuck, now it's on. This is, oh, and there's the lady right there. Who is that? It says female Shane Gillis. That's not doing her best work. What?

You see how the lady tried to holster her gun a few times? It just wouldn't go in. Yeah, that's tough. I think that's my Aunt Lizzie. There's no way. She's made bombs here with Shane. You know what Shane is like. Yeah.

But this is crazy. I'm putting him in the car. Well the crazy thing is they don't even bring him down to the ground when they're at the podium. No, I know. Stand him up. They stand him back up and walk him off. An easier target, which is crazy. And he keeps saying, let me get my shoes. Well they were nice. If they're nice and new customs, you do want to get those back on.

They probably are, yeah. It's funny this is what they train for. This is unbelievable. Get them in that get them in the car and then they slam on the door. It's like puts her glasses on. Put your shades on dude. You don't want to see your eyes. That's wild. Can you even imagine though like your job at Secret Service there's so many it's all downtime. I'm also shocked that they wear sunglasses. The Secret Service doesn't have like a thing that they can permanently put around their eyes. Taking on and off sunglasses. Yeah, painting the ass.

And I lose, I lose, I'm going to, the pair I brought in here today, I'm going to lose it. I'm going to leave it here in the studio. Lose them all the time. Yeah, I'm trying, I just, you start to wonder what is it a conspiracy? Do they want us to think it's a conspiracy? Because now there's no, like the guy's been a martyr after the justice system went after him, right? Whatever you think. Like I've always thought that Trump is a shady businessman, right? Do I think that he's a very personable guy? I don't know. I don't know him well enough. The most interesting thing I've seen him do was when he's turned like that and said, it showed like that he,

because there's a lot of people who think, oh, he just won, they're gonna want, to turn back around. Yeah, and face the crowd. And face the crowd and face the shooter to him. You don't know what the fuck's going on. You're making yourself visual. That was really interesting to me, man.

You know what I'm saying? Like, right. So bold. And those other guys that well, the other Secret Service, like, please get down because their their heads are targets. Fuck, it's just crazy. If you talk, have you seen about this guy on the Internet, the guy with that hat, that goofy fedora in the background? Oh, yeah. This guy there, he's all over the Internet. They're talking. Is that I don't even know, but his name's come up 100 times.

The guy who's holding his phone. And they say. Clown, that guy's a fucking. He's a Simpsons character. I like clown dude. That's Matt Groening. That's a Matt. That's Michael Jackson.

That's the Simpsons. That's Michael Jackson if he never got molested and learned to dance, dude. I feel like, you know what I'm saying? It's insane. Well, here's the crazy part. You have white dude, you have Capa Sig right behind him, just smiling like, why aren't all those people hiding?

That's what I didn't get. No panic, no panic. They were just shooting, no panic. I mean, they show the tape, that guy doesn't even flinch. Fedoraman, that's his name. Yeah, Fedoraman. He doesn't even go down. If somebody starts shooting at somebody.

Gone, gone. I'm crawling on the ground and I'm out of there. Later, email me and we'll talk to you later. I'm absolutely out. I'm not hanging out at all. Do you think a marksman could have been accurate enough just to graze him on purpose? That would be too hard.

Honestly, maybe. Those guys are good, dude. They could shoot an earring off somebody's ear. Look at him there, there's Vincent. That's his name, Vincent. Just hanging out. Shooting happens. He still stood up. He didn't even sit down when the first shots ran out. He was just hanging out.

Now I do know it says on the internet he has bad knees, but he just stood up, just hanging out. But why? Fight, fight, every praise, no panic. Pretty incredible. I don't know what they want us to believe. That's a good question. Do they want us to think it's a conspiracy?

Maybe. Yeah, because then the wheels get spinning more. Yeah. Right? Yeah, for sure, man. You more. Yeah. Right? Yeah. For sure, man. You don't think Biden has anything to do with it? I don't, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if like the FBI or the Department of Justice

or one of them, there's something going on there. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody who's compromised at Secret Service, but I don't know how you convince a large group of people, you know, like you have to convince the local police as well. It's like pretty exhausting I don't think I could name five police officers in Pennsylvania that would probably not stand up to help for Trump Probably like a lot of those guys are you know military and police a lot of them are Trump supporters unless people are getting bribed Money yeah, but it's just interesting. I don't know how you figure that out. And then, but yeah, how does a 20 year old kid

use a ladder, get up, it just is like, there's nobody standing in any of these areas. Yeah, no one's going, what are you doing? Not one guy, just one walk by guy. What are you doing? Yeah. That guy. He didn't get any, what are you doings? I don't, I mean, this is gonna make for,

it's just unfucking believable. Ladder, he brought the ladder, did he plantucking believable ladder. He brought the ladder. He planted beforehand Bro, he set it up beforehand. So he went there before set up the ladder Dude that building is looks like it's about 12 feet, right? Huh, I wonder what business is in there. Oh, they didn't secure it says now Huh, I wonder what business is in there. Oh, they didn't secure it says now See the Secret Service did not secure the nearest tall building a ladder had been placed in advance of the shooting on the building attendees alerted law enforcement to the presence of the shooter so

Little shaky dude man. I've had uh I've had I've had experience with bad habits bad habits Gosh, I still experience. You know I'm still I still experience, you know, I'm still, I still bad habit from time to time. That's right. Did you know that around 73% of American adults report having one or more unhealthy behavior? Well, if you've got a bad habit that you just can't seem to kick,

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If I'm not doing standup and work, it's the thing that like escapes, I get to escape. I don't have to think about anything. Turn off my phone, don't have to talk to anybody. I just go do it. It's honestly just, it's just a way to hang out with friends and goof and feel like a kid. Remember when we were kids, you would just hang out.

You didn't need a reason to hang out, you would just hang out. Now, you gotta have a thing. You could knock on your friend's door, like is William home? Yeah, he'll come outside, what's going on? Nothing. You would just sit and hang.

You didn't need an end game. There was no purpose. And you get older and then you stop doing that. Then you're like, come over and they're like, why? I just want to say hi. No. Nah, dude. I got a wife.

Yeah, I got a wife, dude. I can't do it. So then now golf is a, let's go hang out. Let's just go putz around and hang out. Yeah. In the sun, be outside. I mean, which I don't like. That's my biggest.

Bill Burr's always like, you're gonna get cancer, keep golfing, you're gonna get cancer, keep it up, keep it up, see what happens. That's what he says all the time. I said, I like it, it's I enjoy it, I just put on as much as I sunscreen and I'll, you know, whatever, whatever man, what am I gonna do? Not enjoy it?

Yeah, you gotta be alive. Yeah. And Jelly Roll too, What other impersonation, what's one you do that I really love? Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll, I just saw, he came to the comedy store with him and MGK and they were, then they went to Saddle Ranch.

And Jelly Roll, for people that don't know, Saddle Ranch is a mechanical bull in the center of the bar. He got on it? He set the record. Nuh-uh. Yeah, he set the record for longest bull ride, longest bull ride with arms in the air. Some people have to hold on.

Jelly Roll had arms up. You're lying. No. Bring it up. He set the record for longest bull ride at Saddle Ranch on Sunset. Jelly Roll did? And it didn't even look hard, to be honest with you.

It looked pretty easy. Well, were you looking at the bull? Not much of a difference. I mean, it looked kind of seamless. Now reports from the bull? Not much of a difference. I mean, it looked kind of seamless. Oh. Now reports from the bull are... We got a report back from the bull. Just a different story for the bull.

MGK machine had a photograph of the young fan at Ronnie Rackie and Jelly Roll's performance at Satterman's. There's no video of Jelly Roll on the bull? They gotta be something. They had to have him on the bull. Unless, you know, he probably requested no videos during that time. It could be it. Maybe it was like a special thing

and people weren't allowed a video then. That little kid looks like he's going. That's a little young for a Jelly Roll and MGK show, but... Yeah. I guess, yeah. That is your future ticket buyer. What else is going on, man? You know, honestly, nothing. I'm taking the summer down. What are you guys going to do? You're taking a vacation?

Yeah, going to Hawaii in a week, two weeks. Ooh, what part? I'm going to, I'm not gonna say it out loud now that I think about it. Yeah. But I'm going to a spot that I've never been to before in Hawaii. And we just wanna have like a little getaway.

But we, I don't go to the, I don't go to like- You and your wife? Yeah, I don't go to exotic locations just to like go to the beach. So we're doing adventure, doing stuff. I want to go do stuff. We're taking like a, we're taking like a guided hike tour.

We're doing a, they give you a, we're going to rent a Jeep and go like tour the island and these little spots they tell you to go to. Yeah, it's fun. I want to do a spearfishing class. Take me out there and learn how to huck dude. Do that be sick. I Want to do that? I want to spear fish so bad. We had a show the other night a mere K was on the show too, and he fishes and He he's good, huh? He's good. He he brought fresh sashimi to the show

Did he really oh yeah, he goes out and catches it. He's done this before? He's good. He brought fresh sashimi to the show. Did he really? Oh yeah, he goes out and catches it. He's done this before. I've seen this, yeah. And he just shows up. He had a bottle of soy sauce on him or something. We're just sitting there slurping it, dude. It's good, huh?

God, it was so good. When it's fresh, it's unbelievable. It's the best thing in the world. Catch and eat is so, so good. Yeah, that's one thing I would love to do that I would love to sneak up on an animal And kill right there and eat it. Yeah, my brother made squirrel at Fourth of July and one girl showed up and ate all the fucking squirrel this

Bitch kind of I guess Well, it's a pretty self-involved. Well, there's all this squirrel, the squirrel don't have a lot of meat on it. How much meat's on a squirrel? I mean, you gotta catch a bunch of them to make anything good. Oh, and he had like four or five. My brother's kinda, you know, he's a wildcat. He put on Facebook, he moved into like this rural area

and put on Facebook, anybody having trouble with squirrels hit my line, right? And so, yeah, the amount of meat on a squirrel can vary. Three ounces, that's not a lot. Jesus, fuck. I wouldn't even let it live, dude. Yeah, leave it alone. You gotta have enough substantial meat for me to kill you. I can't kill you if you don't have enough meat.

I'm not killin', yeah, so. This is why I'm not a fan of shrimp. There's not enough there. Yeah. I'd rather kill something that has a lot of something to eat. Yeah. Like I don't need, like crawfish, I don't need little tiny.

A bison, a buck. I want something thick. Russian, yeah. Yeah, like I don't need like crawfish. I don't need little tiny Bison I just I want something Russian thick. Yeah. Yeah thick. Yeah something that's worthwhile. Yeah 100% dude What else happened? But life? Life is good this summer. I'm gonna take it off and just relax Yeah, how long is the trip gonna be and what else you gonna do a week and some change and then? I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna go to Chicago to see family. I'm going to do a couple of charity events, which I'm trying to get into more.

Yeah. I like that, man. I think I wanna do more and more and more. All the stuff that I really like is involving children's charities for kids with cancer or debilitating injuries or, you know, I don't know. Like, I want to support adults that are sick, but kids that are sick to me gets my heart first. Yeah, if adults are sick, it's kind of their fault a lot of times. You did it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And you've also had enough. Right. You've eaten enough. You've had enough. All right. Let somebody else have some. Yeah. I think, yeah, catching up with kids is really important. Yeah. So, I like that. And it's like, we've been so fortunate just to even have some of like to be able to have some of the fun and opportunities and neat things. You know, I start thinking about that too. It's like I gotta create more of a way to do

something more positive, you know. For you, for young people because it's they, you know, if you can help the next generation of whatever it is, that's like what you do in comedy. Bringing people out and introducing new comics to the world, that's an important thing. So in the other side of it, I want to try to, you know, like St. Jude's and all this stuff, Children's Hospital and like, I think those are important. So I'm going to do that. And then, then I'm going,

I get to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley. Yeah. Yeah. And sing the seventh inning stretch. No, let's go, dude. Yeah, thank you, dog. I'm excited. September. Wow.

Nine, six, September six I do it. And I sent the email from the Cubs, the Cubs reached out, and I sent the email to my dad. And my dad wrote back, you finally made it. You finally made it. Of all the things I've achieved, this is the only thing. He was like, good, you finally did it. Yeah. Yeah.

So, and Dunstan would be proud, he wrote. Yeah, baby. Yes, he would. He said Andre Dawson. Yeah, Andre. Said, now Andre Dawson he wrote. Yeah, baby. Yes, he would. He said, Andre Dawson. Yeah, Andre. Said, now Andre Dawson can rest. Finally. Puts it down.

Wow, dude, no, that's amazing. I grew up watching the Cubs, man. My grandfather played like triple A ball in Chicago or Iowa. Whenever their farm team used to be over there, he played for one of their farm teams a long time ago. And so we would sit all the time and watch the cows, you know, it's because the WGNO, you know?

Yeah, the WGNO. Sean Donston, Rick Sutcliffe. Ryan Sandberg. Oh, dude. When I was a kid, I thought his name was Ryan, by the way. His name's Ryan. No. Yeah, all these years, I thought when I was a child,

I thought his name was Ryan Sandberg. No, his name's Ryan. Look it up, it's Ryan. You named Ryan? Ryan, yeah. Like a orange outing? R-Y-N-E, Ryan. I thought it was Ryan it's Ryan. But as a- You named Ryan? Ryan, yeah. Like a orange outing outside? R-Y-N-E, Ryan. I thought it was Ryan all these years.

Dude, I traded 70 of his cards as Ryan Sandberg. Yeah. How did he misspell his own name? I know, poor guy, poor guy. Ryan Sandberg, yeah, Sandberg, Mark Grace, legends. Oh, yeah, dude, I got to meet Mark Grace one time. I was sitting in a bar, he was sitting in a bar and my buddy told me he was there,

so I went up and pulled up and he had some great stories, dude. Those guys are just, baseball was just a, you know, it's just a different game, man. I mean, every sport is, but something about baseball, because they used to, you know, Harry Carrey, our notorious announcer that Will Ferrell did, that people know, he was a blackout.

I mean, he was drunk 90% of the time. Yeah. And still held it together enough to get to the, get to the, you know, get to the stadium on time, drink about 13 old styles. Yeah. And just make it through. You can't do that anymore.

Look at that guy. He's 26 right there. Yeah. He hit on my mom one time. Yeah, one time he hit on my mom. Really? That was great. Yeah.

I could have been Harry Carrey's son. She blew it. She dropped the bag. Yeah. He hit, he flirted with it. He goes, Hey, hey, pretty lady. Yeah. Look at it.

The best one. Hey, hey, pretty lady! Look at these ladies. That's a triple. Look at the cans on that one. Look at the stems on this, bro. Double time. Yeah, he hit on my mom. So yeah, I get to go throw the first pitch in September. That'll be a big deal for me.

And then go see the Bears home opener. to do ever go to Titans games in Tennessee? Sometimes I do what I like about Titans is it's very casual there. It's like nice fans good not crazy You're not like your Philadelphia lunatics. No, no real lunatics, right? It's like just safe. Yeah, play that up right there Harry, this is great. Arnie, you're trying to get me barred up. That began to look like a striptease for a while. I mean, that was the thing about Wrigley. People would wear like G-string bikinis in the outfield. That's America. Yeah, they got to bring some of that shit back.

Well, when they talk about make America great again, that's what we're talking about. G-strings in the outfield. We're not talking about anything else. We we're talking about. G-strings in the in the outfield that's a word we're not talking about anything else we're just talking about that. Yeah just let things be man. Let things be fine. Everything now has a rule or it's fucked up or something dude. Everything has a rule that's a really good call. Everything has a rule now it's like. Can't do that. Yeah. Can't do that. You can't do it like that you gotta do like this you gotta do this. But I don't know if that's because we

ruined just humans ruined it. Yeah we did humans ruined it like that. You gotta do like this. You gotta do this. But I don't know if that's because we ruined, just humans ruined it. Yeah, we did. Humans ruined it all. That's all our fault. We fucked it up. Instead of letting things be and just trying to enjoy things, we fucked it up. We just want, we're greedy, we're selfish, we're self-involved. We don't care about each other. Because if we really cared about each other, we wouldn't go out of our way to try to hurt people or bring people down. We don't care. It's a bad thing.

Well, and if some people, if once there's some bad apples, other apples start to be like, I think there can be a tendency. Bad rubs off. Yeah, it kind of rubs off. Or you have to also get bad now to be able to take care of yourself. To be a tendency. Bad rubs off. Yeah, it kind of rubs off. Or you have to also get bad now to be able to take care of yourself.

To be a level. It's like you gotta bring yourself to a different level. You're a good apple. Thanks, I mean you are too. You've always been a good apple. You are too, dude. And you know what? I think the older we get in life and career,

the more I start to really see through the smoke of all the bullshit and start to care about what I really care about. Like things that really, I guess you really learn what really matters. It's stuff that your parents would say or older people would say to you. And all those cliches are true. It really is true that you just, you slow down, you step back, you start to kind of see things for what they really are, and you start to just cherish things that matter.

You don't give a shit about the other stuff anymore. Yeah. I don't care about small stuff as much as I used to. It just doesn't matter. You just got to enjoy it. Yeah, I think some of that, it is wild if you're able to get some age, that you're able to get some perspective. It is nice. But that was, what is that, Bobby Lee with Richard Simmons? Yeah, Richard Simmons just passed away, man.

And some on the internet are saying this is Bobby's fault. I wouldn't be surprised. God, Bobby was... Well, he was a Japanese girl at one point, and then he... Zoom in on that. No wonder Richard's on him like that. Right. Really cute. God.

Really cute. Richard. Really cute. Richard, wow. That looks AI for some, see that also looks fake. Oh wow. It's just crazy to see, like, I bet Richard teased him or just touched his neck. Well, I think it's vice versa. I think they both, Bobby is a big tease. Bobby, well, you said he let some guy eat his butt

or whatever one time. One time. He's been involved in some crazy stuff. Yeah, I think a few times. Yeah, that's what's crazy. I think I would not want some guy to do that to me. No, not for me. Look, it's hard to be a business partner

and one of my best friends with someone that I respect so little. It's tough. I love him to death. He's my perfect, he's my comedy compliment. I've never met somebody more that I feel the most in tune with comedically. Really? Just because he's, he's, it just feels like we, our brains connect on just a dumb, perfect level.

And I understand him. And he gets, he gets me. And he knows what gets me mad and I know what gets him mad. I just want, it's something about it's so fun. I feel like a kid when I'm with him. Whenever we get together, it's the most fun. I've said this a hundred times. It's the best thing that's ever happened in my career.

Of all the shit I've done, of all the things that I could be like, that was cool, I'm proud of that. This is by far the most fun I've ever had in my life. It is a blessing from the universe and thank God me and that little dumpling are together. It's the most fun I've ever had. I've never had that much fun in anything in my career. No crushing on stage, no TV show accolade. It's the most fun I've ever had. I've never had that much fun in anything in my career.

No crushing on stage, no TV show accolade. Really? Nothing. Wow. It feels so, because it's so free. Oh, you guys have a blast, man. I mean, you guys have created a top 20 podcast together. I mean, it's unbelievable.

Yeah. You know, it's a- It's what you've gotten to do. You know, isn't this rewarding? This is like, how fun. I get to have fun. But you've also got to do so much acting. Does it compare?

Do you feel like, now that you've had a good taste of both, does one really compare? Are they two totally different things? Obviously they're different. Such different animals. But I mean, they're both rewarding and they're, I mean, like the acting is rewarding in its own little way. I like the acting stuff if I get to work with people

that I'm impressed by. That's what it, you know what I'm saying? Like that's, to me, it's like, if I do something with someone that I'm intrigued by or impressed by their skills and ability, it's cool to see people do cool work. It's just a cool thing to watch. Oh yeah.

You know, like when you see a pro, like you know who the most pro dude on earth, I think John Cena might be the most pro dude on earth. Yeah, he was on Whiskey Ginger, yeah? He's the man. Yeah, he's responsible. He's smart, he's sweet, he's caring, he's hardworking. He's such a fun, nice, like, wonderful dude. He's a pro. He is a pro. I don't even know how to, like, articulate it the right way,

but incredible, gracious, sweet. It never steps on toes, never is disrespectful to anybody, never has an ego about anything. It's wild. He is a lesson in life. I've tried to like, I watch him when we were working together. I was like, this dude is, he's a G. Well, we're comic. I think what we have to remember sometimes is we're comics. So something is fucked up about us. We were in that returns basket member 100% we went right back you know I'm talking about we see like the sale basket or whatever or the like 40 cent

candles or whatever you're like this bitch ain't gonna burn you know it's like we are so a lot of times I feel like well I'll compare myself to other pair in some ways of a guy but then gotta remember, something was wrong with me. But you're, it's in a good way, you're special. Right, in a good way, because we were able to maneuver it enough. Right, and make it worth something. Right.

You know, we're the shopping cart with the wobbly wheel, the one that nobody wants. Yeah. Yeah, we're that, we're wobbly wheel. And you know what? When you do take it, you do realize it's kind of fun. It's funny, it goes off on its own. It'll hit the wall a few times, but it's fun.

It's kind of fun. Oh, it'll veer right into a fucking cute mama's butt. It might help you out. We're the wobbly wheel. And you know what? But that's, you're right. We are different. We're a different species.

And we feel it. Sometimes we feel threatened because people don't get us or we're weird or we try weird shit. You know, you try a joker a bit and it doesn't work and people are like, what? But that's the beauty of it. If you didn't have that, everything would be real formatted and real simple.

So they, those other people from the other side of it, they love to see us try because they don't do that. So that's, you know what I mean? Like I've had a bunch of it, they love to see us try, because they don't do that. You know what I mean? I've had a bunch of people, actors say to me, I say, oh man, I don't know how you want to improv those lines, like why? Why do you want to try and do that? They say, well, because that's the adventure.

The risk is amazing. If you get something out that's worth it and good, it's like it's just telling a new joke that works. You know when you write a new joke and it works, the first time you're like, woohoo! It feels incredible. It's incredible same thing as when you land a good line. Yeah, it's the same feeling Oh, I love that the other day somebody said enigma mmM, and I was like careful careful Just don't say enigma Yeah, you can't hard are yeah, yeah, I can let you get like you know

Yeah, you can't hard R. I can let you get like, you know, I'm so upset the fucking neighbors, you know They'll accept enigma. If you're gonna say that say that inside you have to make my inside keep those enigmas inside What's our life like you have you don't have a family yet? No family. No kids I don't think I'm I don't think I'm gonna yeah, I don't think so be such a fun dad, man I would but you know what? I'd like At this age in my life, I think is now, you know, 40, once the 40 number is real, I think I'd be willing to adopt and try to give someone a good life. Wow. Yeah, I think, because at this age,

it'd be hard to start with a baby as older, because I feel older, and it'd be tough. And so I think that- Really? Yeah. Well, dude, I'll be 80 it'd be tough. And so I think that- Really? Yeah. Well dude, I'll be 80 when they're 40. Yeah, but that's their problem. Yeah, but I'd rather adopt a kid,

put him into a phenomenal situa- I feel like at this stage in my life, it would be cool to give someone a better life who had a tough life. Because a lot of kids have these- Of course. You know, man life. Cause a lot of kids have these, you know, man, you see a lot of this stuff and you see how hard certain young people have it.

And there's no hope. And I've been blessed in life. I'm so lucky. So it's like, why not give someone else a good opportunity? I don't know. Yeah, it'd be cool if they had a contest too to be your kid.

Yeah, well that's how I would organize it. They'd have to show off somehow. I'd want to see their skills and abilities and talents. I would rank them. I have a set system at home that I've written out. How high can you jump? I racially put them through a combine. You know what I mean? I make my kids run the 40.

Oh, you had that great joke about people coming over the border that they should have to go through an... American Ninja Warrior course, yeah. You want to get into the country, man. I want him in here. I just, I want to see him work for it a little bit. That's what I'm saying, bro. You got to fuck, we want the best.

Yeah, we can't just have anybody, but that's, that should be the standard. Oh, I think so. And then also you can have rich people bet on it, like in the distance. And use that money. And use that money. Yeah, that's exactly right.

Well, look, when our, when, when, when, when Europeans came over for Ellis Island, you had to be able to do 10 push-ups, otherwise they wouldn't let you in, they'd turn you back around. 10 push-ups, so you had to get back on the boat and go back. So that's a standard, we need to set some kind of standard.

Yeah, now you can show up with asthma and we'll fucking. We'll give you an inhaler. We'll give you a fucking free wheelchair. Thanks so much for coming, dude. And the new tour, what's it gonna be called? The Freeze Peach Tour. Freeze Peach Tour. If you say it you'll know it. The Freeze Peach. There it is. The Freeze Peach Tour. I love that dude. The Freeze Peach Tour. One of my uh one of my was uh oh Rise Up Lights you know. Oh yeah yeah Rise Up Lights. Yeah, I love that.

I'm so jealous y'all are going to Australia. Dude, I have, I love it down there. Me too. Because I shot that movie with Sina and them in Melbourne and it was just, I don't- Did it come out? I loved it. Huh?

Did the movie come out? Yeah, yeah, it's on Amazon Prime, Ricky Stinnicky, on Amazon Prime. Oh, you were Ricky Stanicki. Oh wait Yeah, me and Sina and Efron and Germaine Fowler and then I feel horrible. I even see this. No, it's all good, brother Come on, man. It's it's it's fun, man. It's a fun movie Fairly did it Pete Fairly the guy that did dumb and dumber And William H. Macy in the background holding it down who was phenomenal William H Macy do unbelievable

I never saw the door salesman movie? Were you selling soaps? No, what movie is that? He's incredible. He is put up door-to-door soap salesman. See what you get there. He's so good, man. He was such a The story of Bill Porter. Bill Porter. He's such a cool smooth slick dude. And he lives out in the mountains. Does he? In California? No, not in California, no. He lives out in the mountains.

Wow. Door to door, there he is. And he's a soap salesman. Oh, there we go. Bill Porter, a man of remarkable spirit. He'll touch your heart, he'll change your life. Yeah, he was mentally challenged or whatever, and they let him sell a little bit of soap.

Dude, I used to work as an assistant. This dude sold Italian food or semi-Italian or whatever, door to door. And so I think he was trying to date my mom or something. So he gave me a job, like just like cruising, going along with him and stuff. That's kinda nice. That's pretty cool.

Except I remember all, he had to take like a cold cart with him and all this stuff was so cold. that he had to take like a cold cart with him and all this stuff was so cold. Because he had to sell it in the refrigerator. Yeah, I remember I'd fucking he'd like, oh, get the clams or whatever. I'd fuck it up, you know, I got fucking I was like, I don't want to be in the workforce. I want to be handicapped. You just want to but you want someone to date your mom who's not cumbersome in their job.

That's the cumbersome job. The guy you want to date your mom, you want a guy in like, you know, regular sales, not door-to-door sales. You want him to like call on customers, phone. Yeah, yeah, we didn't. Desk job, dad. A desk job, that's what I had.

My mom remarried and my stepdad was a sales guy, but he, you know. Phone, desk job. Right. You know, go to an office, say, hey, Karen. Coffee, water cooler, lunch. Lunch at, you know, lunch at Bucke de Beppo. McCormick & Smiths.

Yeah, McCormick and Smiths. Oh, Bucke de Beppo, yeah. Bucke de Beppo. Yeah, get the whole crew out there. You know, my dad likes, we buy my dad, his only gift every year, birthday, Christmas, same gift every time I get him a gift card to the Olive Garden. Oh yeah. That's what I get him every time.

That's his favorite thing. That's all he wants. He goes and he sits there and he has the Zupa Toscana and the breadsticks and he'll eat and eat and eat and eat until they tell him, sir, you know, let's not overstay our welcome. Yeah. Like your family, but.

But extended, you know, take a walk. That's all I do, we buy him the olive garden. If you've ever shut down an olive garden, you got a fucking problem, dude, that's all I do. We buy him the olive garden. If you've ever shut down an olive garden, you got a fucking problem. That's all I'm gonna say. Dude, my dad used to, he would go drink sometimes at this place called Tony Pudonis.

That was the name of the place. I love the name of that. Tony Pudonis. Tony Pudonis. And so we go over there and the lady, he'd be like, oh, run up and down the bar real quick and the lady will give you a candy right there. I remember that.

Just give me that. She just wanted to see you sprint. Yeah, I'd fuck it, but on the bar, yeah, I'd fuck it, sprint down there, and sprint right back. And they'd give me a little chocolate. Yeah, well, I was gonna say, which one was it? Was it a good candy or one of those like that?

It was a Hershey Kiss, usually. I love me a Hershey Kiss. They were good. They're just, there's, look, you know a Hershey Kiss? It's not trying to do shit. Yeah. You know what we are. Here I am. You know we are. We're Christian chocolates. Yeah. God loves us and we love you. You know what I mean? We're not giving back. We're not filling my fucking butt with caramel like somebody's fucking quiz. Yeah dude. This is Tony Padone's. We give original American God-given chocolate.

Hershey Kiss in and out. Dude, I wanted to do this thing called the chocolate shoulder challenge. So you take a Hershey Kiss, right? You put one on each shoulder, okay? And then you try to eat it all. Oh my God. How?

It is. But without making this one fall, is that what it is? Right. Yeah, right, That's so hard It is fall. It's on how that kind of neck mobility that no one's yeah But every now and then somebody will do it like a well it got to be somebody with a nice long neck Who's got a long neck in the comedy game? It's got to be someone we know who's a Kirk Fox. Maybe he's necky. He's extremely necky

He's neck. He's got that tennis body tennis tennis neck. Lanky, necky, yeah. Looking over the net, love, love. Mm-hmm, all love, there he is. Kirk's so funny, dude. He was in my favorite movie, The Patriot. One of the funniest comedians, I think, working. It is also one of the funniest people to be around. Like, right when he walks up, you kind of,

there's just something about his energy, the joke is already kind of set up. Yeah, do the picture to the left of that, or to the right of that one that you have on right now. I mean, that's as necky as it gets. That guy could kill the Hershey challenge. Oh, he's a fucking necrophiliac, dude. If he dies, yeah, people are gonna order,

they're gonna get three and a half ounces out of his neck. A big time. Well, you know, his casket is already designed, he said he pre-bought it, to one of those big time. Well, you know, his casket is already designed, he said he pre-bought it to one of those, you know those, you know, like a magician when he cuts those saws of a woman in half and her head is outside of the casket but the whole body's inside?

He has that exact same one. Oh wow. Yeah, cause his neck is long enough that they couldn't, they said he'd have to break his neck to smush it in there so his head'll be out. It's tough. Well, it's a crazy thing when they bury you, some people they have to break,

they're like to save money, you're like we can break your arms and legs and move them closer to your body so you have a little less square footage. And I'm like, just fucking throw me in a dump truck. Don't fucking, don't sit there and break my, I don't want some guy in a basement of a YMCA at night breaking my fucking bones to save 85 bucks.

Spend the extra 85. But it's just like, Jesus Christ. Slide me off, just slide me off a cliff. Slide me off a cliff, I don't know, just put me down in a ravine. That's like I learned, you know the song, you know the song The Way? Where were they going without ever knowing the way?

Remember that? Yeah. Anyone can see the road that they walk on is big. Okay, so I learned online that song is about a story that the lead singer read about a couple, right? Look at the history of the way. It's about an old couple who used to vacation somewhere and she had dementia and he was old. It's tragic and they would take

this they would take this trip that's the couple and they got lost and Austin based couple right. Austin based couple fastball top the charge with their hits on the way. Yes and and this real couple the story is so sad sad. They would go to the same location. I think it was like Zion or something like that, or the Arches, and they drove somewhere and they got lost in the dementia. They wandered until they were found dead in like a ravine.

Crazy, yeah, yeah, they wandered and got lost. So that song, as beautiful as it was when we were young, I mean, young people don't know that song at all, but it's about this old couple getting lost. It's the darkest shit. It's a dark story. Wow. Yeah, it says for Leila and Raymond Howard,

the tradition was pioneer day. That's right. In Temple. Right. And they would drive there and they would just go. And they, right, showing symptoms of memory loss and he had had brain surgery. And they just got out of their car and they started walking and they just disappeared.

Where were they going without ever knowing the way? Isn't that so creepy now that you're that? As a kid, I sung that song being like, anyone can see the road. I thought that was a great song. And here I am just two senior citizens just dehydrated, dying behind a fucking rock. Just buzzards pecking their head apart. It's terrible. Fastball. I thought that was a great song. And here I am just two senior citizens just dehydrated, dying behind a fucking rock. Just buzzards pecking their head apart.

It's terrible. Fastball. The song's lyrics, this is way better, thank you. The song's lyrics revolve around a couple who decided to leave their lives behind by going out driving without telling their children about their plans. Their car breaks down during the trip and they continue on foot. The chorus expresses the idea that the couple are achieving happiness by losing touch with the world even though they may never see their home again.

Wild. Wild. Sad. Do you ever have a thought about disappearing? Yeah. Sometimes I think about like like Tupac and maybe like two more. Oh, dude, when I was in, we tried to like fake my death or something a while back. Maybe like 11 years ago or something. Well, if you got us this staff can't help I mean Nick is gonna blow it Leak it'll leak the conversation yeah, he's gonna leak the plans But what happened oh my buddy Paul he's like dude we should fake your own death I think there's some money in it or whatever and I was like fuck

Well, what do I have to do and he's like you just be quiet and just go out to Palm Springs or something for a couple months I go to Syracuse or something. Yeah, and I'm like shit man And I think I did like three days or something and then I was like, ah fuck it I'm gonna live again And so he'd like called a couple people and been like, I think something's happened at the or something, and then I was like, ah, fuck it, dude, I'm gonna live again. And so he'd like called a couple people and been like, ah, I think something's happened to Theo or something. So then he just called him back and I was like, ah, no, no, no, he's just fine.

He was in Sacramento or whatever. It's too hard to go through with it. But if I feel like if I was gonna disappear, I would go, I'm telling it now, come find me, I'll be most likely in Banff National Forest. Oh, that's nice. It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my entire life. Look up Lake Louise. This might be the prettiest place I've ever seen.

And Banff is huge. Banff was the first time I saw a real Canadian moose. I didn't realize, they were as big as a school bus. I got out of my car with my buddy EP, we were laughing so hard. I had tears in my eyes, I couldn't believe how fucking big it was. That's Lake Louise. Wow. Stunning.

Banff National Forest. Anywhere, lose me in Banff. That's Lake Louise. Wow. Stunning. Banff National Park, anywhere. Lose Me in Banff, that's where I'll be. I'll be in the woods. Lose Me in Banff, Love Me in Banff, that might be the story too. Love Me in Banff, baby. If you find someone. Yeah, Lose Me in Love Me in Banff.

It just, something about it up there, it's so peaceful and- Do they have a summertime? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. It's like that right now. Oh wow. It's stunning. Go swimming. The most beautiful place I've been to, I think or one place. I really liked was this place lake or uh,

ANSI France, can you look it up a In And snow a in ECY and oh there it is Anna see France right there Wow There's this they have like a beautiful lake there like right in this small town. It's really, really cool. How'd you end up there? With my girl, we were backpacking years ago. Beautiful. There it is right there.

Wow. Just like a nice little place there in the hills. You get you a little backpacking. That was nice. We just, we're taking a train and just stopped there. Annecy, Annecy, France. France, Annecy, Theo. Oh yes, Theo Von. do you know Theo Von?

One of my favorite comedian, Theo Von? It is a nice, it is a pleasant, their accent in English is pleasant. Oh it's nice, it's like you're good, yeah. Because so many others don't. Yeah. Like when a chum is saying to you something, it's, you're like, ffff.

Yeah. Yeah, it just, it. Well yeah, I went to Jamaica and two guys, you know, I went, you're like, ffff. Yeah. Yeah, it just, it, uh. Well yeah, I went to Jamaica and two guys, you know, I went, somebody had, we went into a Starbucks, right, found out it was not a Starbucks. We go in, somebody had stole the sign and put it up outside of their business, right?

So we go in, you're like, this isn't a fucking Starbucks, there's couches and shit, dude. Yeah, there's no cake pops here. Yeah, there was a hammock. I was like and then um Somebody goes welcome to the Starbucks allowance and we're like Night fight dude really oh my god be night fight in the street dude. Well urban cutlery, dude. That's it Couple of brothers a couple of Zorro brothers out there just stabbing each other, dude. What else, man? What happened with you and Bobby Althoff? Do you remember that?

Yeah, it was fun. It was really, really fun. Dude, you were so funny on there. She was... It was easy to kind of play into this world that she does. She stays in the world of like, she was doing like musicians, and then she was doing, then she would just do like high level celebrities

like Cuban and all these guys. And I had so much fun with her because she had said, they originally, they pitched me, her team pitched me, do you want to teach her how to golf? No, I'm sorry, teach her how to do standup. I said, absolutely not. But I said, I am gonna go golf next week. You wanna meet and I can teach her how to golf

or we can do a golf thing. And that's how this stuff was born. And she showed up late with a big attitude. And I started- Oh yeah, she's kind of like a black woman a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little tiny black woman. And I started, I was just goofing with her the whole time and it was so much fun.

Now she's off and running. She's got a whole, her career exploded now. Her podcast is bigger than ever. She stays busy, man. Yeah, I saw her at Formula One, she was there with, and some of her friends, they were having a great time. I wanted to go to that. I wanted to go to that so bad.

It's too confusing. It's like, you don't know what's going on and everybody's like rich and everything. You're like, what the fuck? So rich and it's all, but you don't really get to see anything. That's the worst part of it. You don't see anything.

It's down here, you're like this. It's like being, that's the irony of the best seats in a football game are not all the way down. Because you're this. I agree. Front row is trash. Yeah, you're doing this all the time. If someone comes to my show and they're in front row, I'm like, God, this sucks, dude. They're doing this the whole time. Their neck is craned.

Their neck is the Las Vegas crane the whole time. Dude, what was one of the early concerts you ever went to? Do you remember? One of the very first concerts I went to probably... Well, I think this one sticks out for some reason. I don't know if it was one of my first, but no doubt, I saw them and a band called Face to Face. Do you remember those guys? Face to Face.

Face to Face and No Doubt were playing. Was it Night? Is that them? No, no, no. They were... Face to Face and No Doubt were playing. It was a night, is that them? No, no, no, they were. Face to Face to Face. That's it, you're thinking about, that's Duran Duran, I think. Where I could touch your love. No, that's, no, that's, no, that's Culture Club.

But I think Face to Face and No Doubt were one of my first and then. Wow, who took you to that? No, I probably was 16 or 17. Walking in his bottom well. Love her, dude. I think she's one of the that. I probably was 16 or 17. I love her dude. I think she's one of the greatest. Tragic Kingdom. That album is so, so good. I became a teenage girl

while listening to that. This is my girl phase. Oh I cried at school when someone sang Jewel once. Oh yeah, well that will hit you hard. I'd never heard a woman sing. Who will save yourself from the lies that you tell, boy? And then you hear her regular talking.

She's like. It was amazing. It was amazing. It was so good. Oh, she's from the Santa Ana, New Orleans Avenue. It's so good. Yeah. That, and then I saw, and then the Up and Smoke Tour.

Up and Smoke, look that up if that's right. Cypress Hill? Yeah, Up and Smoke Tour. Oh yeah, I was at that day. It was like Method Man and Red Man. Cypress Hill, it was like Method Man and Red Man. Cypress Hill. Cypress Hill. It was anybody black or white with weed. That's what it was.

Right, right, right. Yeah, that whole tour was just fucking. Yeah, Dre M.F. And the crazy thing was, you were so high, they could have told you somebody was on stage. You'd have been like, yeah. Wouldn't have mattered. Yeah, didn't even know. Nate Dogg never was there.

They put him on every picture. I never saw Nate Dogg once live. They probably just used him like, He was late to every show. Promo, yeah. Yeah, he just never showed up. That's like Boss Man D-Lo was supposed to come on the pod and fucking,

Just bailed. 20 minutes after he's like, I ain't coming. Thanks man, thanks for the heads up. Thanks Boss Man, dude. There he is. You've been demoted to assistant boss, brother. I'll still listen to your music, but not for two weeks. Yeah, that was the first couple of, those, I saw those like,

I saw D12, I saw Eminem and D12. Wow, you listened to a lot of rap stuff and some Gwen Stefani. Dude, yeah, I remember we had a fashion show at our school and some girl sang Jewel and played the piano. And I just never like, I don't think had a, I'd never really, no woman ever really spoken nicely to me, I don't think.

And it was like, I just didn't even know what was going on. It was emotional. Yes. And I just remember fucking bawling and then somebody yelled out, fuck! And I was like, holy shit. Shit dude, let me get these tears off of you real quick.

Get your shit together dude. I was like, I'm only crying because I'm thirsty and then I just fucking drank a bunch of it off my own face. Just like, oh yeah. Arrrr, pussy. That's actually more manly, yeah. I'm thirsty.

And then you know what else I saw? I saw, and then the other end of the spectrum was my buddy John took, buddy John took me to see Bella Fleck, the Jam Band world, String Cheese, all those guys. I got to see all that stuff. So I touched a lot of basses. I wanted to, I just wanted to go to live shows. I loved live shows.

I'd go to almost any live show. Like if someone was like, we're going to a live concert, this band is playing, you know, blah, blah, blah, Aragon Ball or whatever. Okay, I didn't even think twice I would go just because I was like, this is an opportunity to go goof off and disappear with friends into the night. Yeah.

Like I didn't, I wasn't really, I wasn't really picky. Now, which is crazy, I wish I should go to more shows. I don't go to as many shows because we work in entertainment, so. It's hard hard you work at nights when shows happen. It's tough It's just hard. I'm just looking today. I was like what shows can I go see us our red clay strays recently? They're great if you get to see them Dude, I remember yeah, we got so I think we went to see 311 a couple times when I was in school You know that was always fun. Yeah phenomenal man, And we went, I got, we were leaving.

Oh, yeah, we were leaving. I fucking drilled some dude with my car, right? Hit his car. Oh, I thought you said hit the guy. No, thank God he was in his car when I hit him. Get out of my car, run up to his window. He goes, dude, I'm so sorry, dude. He was so fucked up, He fucking thought he hit me.

Apologize to you? To my bad. You're like, yes, you're bad. Yeah, dude, you got to fucking- You got to be careful, bud. Bro, these streets are small, dude. And I went and got back in my car and took off. Fuck, that dude was fucked up.

Another time I went to Green Day, that might have been the first I ever saw. The opening band for them, I was fucked up. Another time I went to Green Day, that might have been the first show I ever saw, the opening band for them, I was so high. I thought the opening band was Green Day. Sang every Green Day song, while the opening band was up there, I think it was like, Rusted Root, I don't know who it was, right? Sang all, and then I was ready to leave. My buddy's like, dude, they're not even on yet.

Another time. You already had that Green Day show. Somebody gave me some fucking, somebody gave me some fucking raccoon pills or something and I was just fucking out there raccooning, you know, and I fucking couldn't see anymore. So I could only see with my hands, right? And so I wandered to the back

and started feeling on a cop, you know. I fucking, he fucking totally let me leave. And then what else happened good at a concert? Oh, there was one thing I was gonna tell you. Oh dude, so the other night I'm in Las Vegas and my brother came, right? And it was fun, we had a great time. And then afterwards there's a restaurant

in the wind called Delilah, right? It's like a nice place. Yeah, yeah, I've been there. It's nice. It's like F. Scott's Fitzgerald's vibe. You know, it's pretty cool. So we sit in there and Fat Joe was in there. So he goes on stage, Joey Crack, right? Terror Squad.

Love him. And at first, like it's going pretty good. You know, some people are kind of into it. Some people aren't. I'm standing up, like kind of singing and cheering and stuff because a friend of mine loves Fat Joe and they're close and so I wanted to be respectful, right? And, but some people are in there being a little bit too cool. But then he's like, play another one, man. because a friend of mine loves Fat Joe and they're close and so I wanted to be respectful, right?

And, but some people are in there being a little bit too cool. But then he's like, play another one, man. And they fucking play. And then people are like, oh shit, he did that song too. And then it kept fucking stacking up. Then he, next thing you know, cause it was NBA summer league or something going on there. So the place starts getting packed.

He's been on stage for like 25 minutes. Then Ja Rule's in there, he fucking brings Ja Rule up, baby. Damn, dude. So then Akon is fucking there. We're like, damn, Akon. He's out of prison. I thought he got deported, dude. And he fucking pulls him up, dude. He got a work release for him for about 10 minutes. Brings him up on stage. By the end, dude, Fat Joe, it was unbelievable, bro.

That's what a show. He was him up on stage, by the end, dude, Fat Joe. It was unbelievable, bro. He watched it. That's what a show. It was so. And unexpected. You didn't know he was going on. No. Oh, that's wild.

When that kind of stuff happens, that's unbelievable. When they're like, yeah, we'll just, I guess we'll just play a song. Yeah. And someone shows up, someone shows up. I've heard about these, this is like lore to me. I've only been at shows that are supposed to happen. I've never been lucky with like, dude, and then it just turned into a concert.

Lucky boy. Before you get out of here, people see you with the Kelsey's all the time. What's their life like now? Do you know any from when you first met them kind of? Do things seem any different? They're definitely, fame and popularity are interesting and kind of scary.

So scary and weird. I mean, I met Travis a while ago. Fame and popularity are interesting and kind of scary. So scary and weird. I mean, I met Travis a while ago. Jason, I'm new to know. I met him through Travis. And Travis is, I've said this before and I mean it, he's been the same since I met him. If I texted him now and said joking around about something,

he would joke just as we were back then. I think, you know, he's much more, he's much busier now than he's ever been because of his life and his growth and his career. And then the confluence of him dating the most famous woman on earth is wild, but he's 100% the same cat. I mean, like it's, I don't think I've ever experienced at that level where he's the same guy. Same guy. And he's bigger than he's ever been, but I don't know, man. He's always kind of been that dude,

and I think he wasn't going to let this change him. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I'm not smart enough to understand, but. Well, it's probably a good thing for sure. I hope, I would hope so. Because he has to be in that league too. It's like, you know what I'm saying smart enough to understand but... Well, it's probably a good thing for sure. I would hope so. Because he has to be in that league too. It's like, you know what I'm saying, like... Yeah, but it's like a different kind of stardom now.

It's weird. Oh, that would be scary. And it's critical. It's crazy critical for no reason. You know, like the fans are... They pick apart everything you wear, everything you do, everything you say in that Taylor Swift world. So it's...

No, thank you. I don't want that kind of... We already get enough criticism as comics, and most of the time it's like, what are you, we're fucking around, like we're joking. But with him, it's gotta be, it's poignancy. It's like everything has to be legitimized and talked about, and I don't know how he handles it,

but he does it really well. I think also he doesn't give a shit, because he's just enjoying life. Do you think he's a government op? There's been a lot of people that say that, you know? He has been coerced by the government many times to try to join forces, and he refuses. From what I know, every time he calls me, they offer him something to try to be a part of. He's been offered to be...

Play for the Chargers? 100% and he will not. Absolutely not. No chance. We're not doing that. They asked him to move to Brussels for a little while, the government%, and he will not. Absolutely not. No chance. We're not doing that. They asked him to move to Brussels for a little while, the government, and he wouldn't do that. So he's never really gone through with it because there's no amount of money you could convince him, and he's not going to do it. He'll stand his ground.

Kelsey is not going to work for the government. He's a stand your ground guy. He's a stand your ground guy. Stand your ground. He's a fight guy. Fight, fight, fight. That was crazy, wasn't it? It's amazing. He's a stand your ground guy. He's stand your ground guy. Stand your ground. He's a fight guy. He is. Fight, fight, fight. That was crazy, wasn't it?

That's amazing. If I get shot, dude, I'm out, bro. I'm crawling out. Even my ear. Is someone as small as my ear the whole time? Yeah. I'm crying my ear, my ear. I'm certainly not fight.

That's a new level of bravery. No, I will just post fight on Twitter. I wouldn't even post. That's what Twitter's for. Twitter is for when you get shot then you say what you want. I wish they would. Yeah. Try me one more time.

Yeah I'm not saying fight out loud that's begging for another person. Do you see that home run derby winner let's get you out of here who was that guy who won it? Titan Zane And it's a child. That's a phenomenal name Titan Zane Titan Zane that is an incredible name dude. Yeah, you better be good at something though Six-year-old Titan Zane look at the size of that whoa, dude. That's a woman

My god, that's a guy Wow Jesus Christ. Holy shit, dude. And look at the kids next to him. They're a quarter of his size. Damn dude, that's incredible. Titan Zane, bro. The turn is amazing. Look at the turn, the hips. Belt facing the target. It's all hip, dude. That's all hips, too. Wow, those end up. Same height as Bobby too, which is crazy. Yeah, same weight, same height and weight. Let me see that clip again of him swinging. He used to call him Blobby Lee, that was the saddest.

It was mean, but it was true. Oh, Titan Zane, the name is great. Oh! Oh! He was reaching for the stars. You know this guy, man, he was getting. That kid is scared, you see that kid step back. this guy, man. He was getting... That kid is scared. You see that kid step back.

So scared, yeah. He couldn't handle it. Titan Zane! Dude, that's on crustables at its finest right there, baby. Oh, God, that's awful. Look at that, bro. Look at that fricking... Oh!

Savage, bro. Good for that kid, man. St. Louis Pinto Tournament, home run derby. Titan Zane. Good for you, TZ. That Pinto tournament home run derby Titan zane good for you tz That's what we want. That's you got to adopt dude tz. I would adopt a hundred percent get a Polynesian I'm looking for what brand do you go if you adopt man? What do you go islands islands gotta get an island? Yeah, just cuz that little guitar they come with right yeah, it's part of the package Oh, but you got to buy more strings. They break them often But the craziest thing is it's like they take the biggest guy

Little guitar that's poetry, baby That's poetry That's beautiful poetry. It's art. It really is you don't get to see it much New tour Freeze peach freeze peach tour new tour. I'm doing 20 some odd cities. Hell yeah, are you going to Chicago? Yeah, playing Chicago theater. I think I'm not doing that till the new year.

I think I'm in January. So some in the fall, some in the spring? Yeah, yeah, I tour through, I go through from September to February and then I end the February in Minnesota, Minneapolis. And Bad Friends isn't, you guys are just banking some episodes. Yeah, we're gonna do Australia. We're touring in Australia in the middle of my tour.

And then we both are going, he's going to shoot something. I'm gone. He's getting popular again. He had dinner last night with, or not dinner, they met up, Michael Bay. Michael Bay wanted to meet up with him. Really? Yeah, Michael Bay, to hash some old beef.

Michael Bay had some beef with him. Apparently he had said something on the pod and Michael Bay was like, I wanna set the record straight. So they met last night. Some Mongolian beef, huh? Yeah, dude, some beef and broccoli, this guy. I'll show you the picture. He was, it was pretty impressive by the way.

He said to me, he was nervous. He was nervous, but here that's him and Michael. No way. That's Michael Bay? Yeah. And who's that little fucking. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know if anyway, he talked about it on Rogan. That was the problem. Michael heard about it and was like pan face. Somebody called him that. He said, and it wasn't one of us. No, well, it was. I think he just heard it wrong.

We might've said it, Michael Bay produced it. He directed it. And action, let's do it again. Yeah, we did it like seven or eight times. Can you believe Michael Bay said that to him? No way. No, he didn't say it to him. That's why I think that's inflated.

But he met with him last night, so I wonder, after this we're meeting up, so I wanna hear what he said. I'm curious to know How he directed his feelings. Oh, yeah. Look, I've got a dumpling esteem with you, but you know We're gonna get to the bottom of this. I want to come and do bad friends man. I'd love to appreciate it Anytime I would love to have you. Thank you for having me. Yeah, I'm glad we both went to this It was amazing man. One of the best shows and if you have a chance you know I don't know when this comes out but they only got a couple weeks left of the tour. I think they end second week of August or something like that. They don't have much left. Yeah I think they're on break

for a little bit and then they have one more week in Vegas I think. Yeah yeah they do a couple back-to-backs and then it's and then inside tip if you are a Dead and Company fan or a Dead fan at all, the rumor is that there is no plans to do it again, so who knows? This could be one of the last times. I mean, who knows? Might not be, might be. Yeah, August, there you go. That's second week of August, and then that's it, baby. That's crazy.

One, two, three, eight, nine, ten. Shigong. Shigong. Shigong. Congratulations on everything, dude. Yeah, I feel fortunate that we've gotten to be able to work in the same field together Yeah, me too, man. It's been amazing and I want to keep seeing you Shoot up in the space and it's be fun. Well as long as I I just want to shoot over there To to bad friends and enjoying you guys come through. Yeah, we want to have you come through and a settle it all cuz there you know

Bobby if there was there was a chance I was gonna be the bad friend. I heard, yeah, through the grapevine. And Bobby, you know, I know he's not here, you know, he, I'm not gonna say he led me on or whatever, but I'll just. He does lead everybody on. Does he? Yeah, he's, yeah.

Which is ironic because he's a follower, not a leader. He leads people on, but he's much of a follower Well, he led the right guy and you guys his choice man. I love you. Yeah, love you too. Thanks Andrew. Thank you, man Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones