This Past Weekend - E519 Pauly Shore

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by LEGO Fortnight. LEGO Fortnight is the ultimate survival crafting game found within Fortnite. It's not just Fortnite Battle Royale with minifigures. It's an entirely new experience that combines the best of LEGO Play and Fortnite, created to give players of all ages, including kids and families, a safe digital space to play in. Download Fortnite on consoles, PC, cloud services, or Android and play LEGO Fortnite for free. Rated ESRB E10+.

Starting point is 00:00:30 I got a few tour dates to tell you about Wallingford, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Banger, Maine, Moncton, Canada, Las Vegas, Nevada. We'll be back for the USC LSU football weekend. Oklahoma City, Northern Little Rock, Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse, Wisconsin, Green Bay, Wisconsin, Moline, Illinois. You can get tickets for those at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Thank you so much for your support. Today's guest has been in comedy since birth, pretty much. Born into the comedy store.

Starting point is 00:01:14 He's a comedian, he's an actor, he's an entertainer. You know him from his famed movies, Incino Man, and his podcast variety show on YouTube, the PMS podcast. You can see him live on tour throughout the rest of the year. I'm really thankful to spend time with him today. My friend, Mr. Paulie Shore. I'll sit and tell you my story Shine on me And I will find a song

Starting point is 00:01:53 I've been singing since the beginning I've been singing since the beginning And I've been waiting Yeah, dude He's wild oh my god, dude, I mean the fact that he's still alive those guys dude, I Mean he's sober though. Yeah, still dude. Did you already fucking dude? He fucking ran hard, bro Yeah, still dude. Did you fucking dude? He fucking ran hard, bro Like hard like all those guys ran really hard

Starting point is 00:02:32 Did you cuz you probably saw a lot of those bands you probably party with a lot of those guys, huh? Are we rolling? Yeah Did you party with a lot of my uncle? Yeah, she's in Iowa. What's up uncle? Just sure what's up, bro? What's up? Yeah, sure gesture. What's up? He's in Iowa. He's a big fan dude big fan He told me if you wear a hat I wear a hat really okay What's up, Gesture? Gesture, what's up? He's in Iowa. He's a big fan, dude. Big fan. He told me if you wear a hat, I wear a hat. Really? Okay, I'll rock out. No, no, you said you're going to wear the hat.

Starting point is 00:02:50 That's exactly how it looks here. You know what's cool about this show? Because I was thinking about, thinking about you're the rat, right? Uh-huh. Is that what... And you are the weasel. The weasel, bro. Oh!

Starting point is 00:03:02 The rat and the what? And the weasel. What do you think so to Pete I was gonna ask you this to Pete You know I was coming here, and I'm knowing you for a long time I haven't sat down with you yet You know and always say this to comedians that are doing really well like I've been in the business my whole life Like I have I mean since I was little little little I watched so many guys You know come up come only Tony Hinchcliffe now and different different guys like yourself And I'm so and I'm not just saying this to get on your dick or any of that shit

Starting point is 00:03:27 I'm really happy for you, and I've said that to you before and I know how hard it is Take it in. I know it's hard to let love in isn't it yeah? It's hard to let love in but it's coming from Polly sure. I'm very happy for you for real Thank you You know I know how hard you've worked I know how hard you've done this and how and how it's just kind of taken off for you. So I see your Instagrams, and I see all these people that you're playing in front of,

Starting point is 00:03:50 and I'm very, very happy for you because it's fucking awesome. Thanks, man. I mean, it's fucking like, you know, it's pretty cool. You always have something kind of supportive to say or inquire when I see you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:01 And so I want to say I appreciate that, man. Yeah, and I appreciate you appreciating me. Yeah, and I appreciate you appreciating me. All right, I appreciate you appreciating me. You said, go on? No, no, I, no. Jester, what's up? I think we should take our hats off now. Okay, hats off.

Starting point is 00:04:15 You know what I mean, hats off. Get a little, yeah. Because it's the rat in the weasel, bro. Bah bah bah bah bah, Chinese. The hair looks good, man. Thank you. It looks great, actually. Thank you, thank you. I was with Gary Shanley's hairdresser, he set The hair looks good, man. Thank you. I was with Gary Shanley's hairdresser.

Starting point is 00:04:28 He set it up for me. Dude, when you said you have a tough time letting love in, that's true. Very much so. Which is why I'm single. Which is why I'm sure you're single. Because yeah, women like us, most women like us because we've been on TV and movies, or they've seen us on our thing like oh

Starting point is 00:04:45 My god, I love biodome. I love the the squirrely rat whatever your fucking shit is on the bad pigeon Yeah, bad pigeon you know what I mean, but then after that you're a human being and you're a person with the brain a heart A smile all that shit and at the end of the day you don't know if they're liking you for for the rat Let me see the rat tail. Let me see that throw that shit out in the back. Yeah, that fucking rat shit, that tight ass shit. I pull this out on Easter sometimes, and I've actually, we did just, I'm thinking about getting like a half inch extension on this part.

Starting point is 00:05:12 It's very Bon Jovi back in 1987, dude. It's very, it's very. First song I ever listened to was Bon Jovi. But for real, is it hard to let love in? Yeah, I don't think it's hard for me to notice who is appropriate for me to love, but I think it's hard for me to notice who is appropriate for me to love, but I think it's hard for me to feel like, it's just somebody could sit there and tell you,

Starting point is 00:05:31 man, I really love you. And I'd be like, all right, buddy, let's keep it. Let's keep it, or a woman, hopefully it's a woman. All right, woman, let's keep it moving here. It's just hard for me to like, I just. Yeah, I also think that- My receptors are bad. I think that once people get over the fact that you're,

Starting point is 00:05:48 who, you know, the celebrity and all that stuff, then you're stuck with you as a human. And then at the end of the day, like that's really what it's about. You know what I mean? Do you wanna hang out? Do you wanna go get sushi? Do you wanna go fuck around?

Starting point is 00:05:58 You know what I mean, right? Well, I think sometimes this is interesting, Paulie, and I think it's like, well, sometimes I wonder if, like by getting some, by creating a life or aiming for some level of popularity, if you're really trying to create an ambiance or create something between you and other people that gives you a barrier.

Starting point is 00:06:22 You know what I'm saying? Does that make any sense? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because they see the persona and they think that you're the persona. Like sometimes, like I was with this girl, what is it? Like I'll create it so you never even have to know the real me and maybe I don't even know the real me.

Starting point is 00:06:33 But I'm gonna, but, so I'm gonna make this and hopefully you'll like this. Yeah, because what happened was is about three months ago I met this girl on the road, I think it was in Iowa with my uncle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I met this girl and she loved Son-in-Law, this movie I did a long time ago, met this girl on the road. I think it was in Iowa with my uncle. And I met this girl and she loved Sun and Law, this movie I did a long time ago, Sun and Law. And she wouldn't have sex with me

Starting point is 00:06:51 unless I put on my chaps and I put on my hair because I used to have long hair. So in order for me to have sex with her, guess what I had to do? Put it on. Put it on. Yeah, and then I had to go like do all this shit like that. And then once I orgasm, then I take the shit off. And I left like that and then when I once I orgasm Then I take the shit off and I left I felt bad

Starting point is 00:07:06 I wound up at Walfau's by myself at the end of the night crying with the fucking tear. Yeah Oh, yeah, I think if you have to dress up to have sex, it's probably gonna get yeah, we cry I don't know if I I don't know if I can do this right now Okay, I'm alright Okay. All right. Thank you. No, I'm alright. I'm alright, thank you. No, I'm here for you, man. And I'm here to, and I'm happy to see you today.

Starting point is 00:07:30 You know what, you know what, I saw Kid Rock on this right here, and I have something to fucking say to you, motherfucking Kid Rock. Tell him, dude. First of all, don't disrespect Theo Vonn the whole time you're wearing this and fucking this, dude. You're wearing this and this.

Starting point is 00:07:44 What the fuck, bro? You come to LA you got to show your pretty face No, I'm just kidding. No. I like I love kid rock kid rock. What's up, bro? Did you ever where is the first time I met him dude? That's a fucking hilarious story for real Kid rock what's up? I haven't seen you since probably no no what I mean I used to go on tour I used to go on tour I used to go on tour with This guy Voli Belli remembers it bro. No I used to go on tour with this guy when he had his little his little The little the dwarf the kid oh yeah, but was a magic baby no

Starting point is 00:08:18 Jay's JC. Oh yeah, JC. Yeah, JC. It was yeah bring him up. Oh yeah Uncle cracker was his DJ. Yeah, is he still his DJ? No uncle cracker does perform with him sometimes But uncle cracker is on tour right now. I think with um Kenny Chesney actually yeah So this is when I just see right there this is he was for cancer wasn't it what happened to him? He just partied a lot. He was like in the mini me. He was partying with like mini me and like you know that whole Yeah, this is like, yeah. They called him Andy Pilonakis. People would call him because he would do a lot of pills.

Starting point is 00:08:51 Yeah. So what happened, so the first time I met JC and Kid Rock and all this stuff, it was fucking crazy. Have your guy pull up Conan O'Brien, Limp Bizkit, I think it was late 90s, Polly Short, Kid Rock, and fucking Limp Bizkit, Conan O'Brien, Limp Bizkit, I think it was late 90s, Pauly Shore, Kid Rock, and fucking Limp Bizkit, Conan O'Brien. So I'm with Fred, because this is when Fred started on MTV.

Starting point is 00:09:11 I had been on MTV for a long time. I was kind of sad. I was going through this kind of transition parts kind of when I did my movie, Pauly Shore is Dead. I know that Tommy Lee was on here recently, who was in Pauly Shore is Dead. I've known Tommy for a long time. And we went to Conan O'Brien and

Starting point is 00:09:27 Fred was performing. I think was faith You know he was the George Michael song faith off of one of his albums and me and kid rock Went with Fred and we're in the fucking background on Conan O'Brien If you have it, I know it's there. I know it's fucking there. It's there somewhere. There it is look at this is fucking triple triple Look at this turn it up to can we hear it? Yeah crank this motherfucker, dude Yeah, look at this shit look at there's and look at kid rock in the corner wait in the red jacket Oh, yeah, there is in the red jacket Yeah

Starting point is 00:10:04 Fred what's up Fred? What's up motherfucker Fred out there killing is in the red jacket. Yeah. Fred, what's up? Fred, what's up, motherfucker Fred? Out there killing it on the road right now. And I guess it would be nice. Oh, look how young he is. And I'm talking at your body. Know that everybody has got a body like you. And I gotta think it twice.

Starting point is 00:10:23 Before I get you out of the way. And I am going to before I get you not away So this is where I first met kid rock look at him in the background I Think I'm wearing the hood. I think yeah, that's me in the hood. I think oh yeah That's why kid rocks my fucking boy. What's up kid rock? Triple triple quadruple OG. I'll see you on Lake Michigan. We'll drink some fucking beers gang Yeah, so that was pretty cool. I'll see you up there in Charlevoix, baby. That's where they party Have you been up there? I've been I was in Lake Michigan for this last 4th of July. I was in Pentwater Is it nice? Pentwater was beautiful

Starting point is 00:11:00 Yeah, cuz I was I was born and raised in LA around the store and you know right there in West Hollywood and shit My whole life and and this it was it was this this this last Fourth of July I'm like I don't want to be in Vegas. I don't want to be in fucking Malibu I don't do that. I want to go to the middle America. I want to see people with Trump flags Yeah, you know what I mean? I want to go out there on the fucking on Lake, Michigan So I got a you don't want to piss on a big girl's back out there. Yeah. You know what I'm saying, dude?

Starting point is 00:11:28 Yeah, and I got an Airbnb right on the water with my friends, and I played a club there, a small little bar, it was fucking sick, and we were in Pentwater, Michigan. Dude, that's cool. I was looking for Kid Rock, it was cool. Have you ever been to Lake Michigan? No, I don't think I have, I would definitely go.

Starting point is 00:11:44 It's dope, dude. Next summer I'm gonna go. It's huge, it's huge. We'll just do it't think I have. I would definitely go. It's to hope, dude. Next summer I'm gonna go. It's huge. We'll just do it next summer. Yeah, I would love to. The fucking 4th of July. Do a show up there somewhere. It's awesome, dude.

Starting point is 00:11:52 Did you do the show on the 4th or no? No, I took the 4th off. I just watched Fireworks, but I did like five nights there and it was great. Did you get out on the water? I went in the water, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was cool.

Starting point is 00:12:04 When you were a kid, like you're famous, you grew up on the water? I went in the water, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. Yeah, it was cool. When you were a kid, like, I mean, you're famous, so you grew up around the comedy story. Your mother was the owner and your father was the owner. Mm-hmm. And your family still owns it. Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:14 Yes. And did you guys ever go on family vacations? Well, my dad, Sammy Shore, the late great Sammy Shore, give it up for my father. Let's put a picture of my dad, Sammy Shore. We'll put a picture of him up, and I'll say this, I wanna say this about him before we even, Sammy, I got to meet him,

Starting point is 00:12:30 and we would talk sometimes about, this was interesting, he wanted to make like a show about dogs, right? Yes. And so he would call every now and then, and we would talk about this show about dogs, and his neighbor's dogs, and his friend's dogs, and it was, that was my only. It was called Funny Bones.

Starting point is 00:12:47 I don't know. Yeah, Funny Bones. Yeah, he did it, he wound up doing it. Did he really? Yeah, he did, he did some episodes, yeah. Oh, because it was just interesting, that was the only way that I knew him. He was, you know, I love my mom.

Starting point is 00:13:00 My mom was the best. Not only was she a great, you know, developing the comedians and artistic and all that stuff, but as a mom she was fucking. Mid-Sea Shore. Yeah only was she a great, you know, developing the comedians and artistic and all that stuff, but as a mom, she was fucking a realer. Yeah, but she was a real mom. Was she really? Yeah, dude, she took care of me. She was not like weird or like,

Starting point is 00:13:14 just because she was busy at the commissary, she went there for my birthdays and all that stuff. You know, she did the whole thing. We had slip-in slides. We had trampolines in the back. I had a moped, all that shit. Did she like being a mom, you think? Yeah, she was cool.

Starting point is 00:13:27 She was a natural mom. But my father, he started the store. He started, there it is, Funny Bones. Yeah, but he started the store because he needed a place to work out his standup, kind of like Joe at the mothership. Joe was like, he's like, I need a place to work out. I go out to the mothership and I have a club.

Starting point is 00:13:46 So that was kind of his vibe. And he started. Do you see that when you go to the mothership now? Yeah. Do you feel some of that same energy almost in a weird way? Yeah, I definitely feel. I definitely feel my mom there.

Starting point is 00:13:55 I feel my parents there. Yeah, for sure. It's great. I mean, he's got bar mitzis and all that stuff. And Joe's, it's weird when I see the guy start crying. I always fucking cry when I see him. There's like an emotional connection that I have with him. It's fucking weird.

Starting point is 00:14:09 You know? It's funny you say that. That happens to me sometimes. When I'm talking with Joey Diaz, sometimes it happens with me. It's like it just like, I don't know, I think some things about his life or something and I'll, I don't know what it is,

Starting point is 00:14:21 but my eyes will swell up, you know? And Joey Diazz is yeah all those guys and Holtzman's doing great Yeah, Holtzman's doing great and I count I tell him I'm like don't leave the mothership, you know Just stay at the fucking mothership. You're funny You're gonna hit because you know, he wants to make it like Dave Lucas and fucking and and and cam and Montgomery and all these guys That are you know that were on Tony? Yeah, and I'm and Montgomery, and all these guys that are, you know, that were on Tony. And I'm like, dude, just hang in there, you're fucking great. And now he's starting to sell tickets.

Starting point is 00:14:50 So if there's anyone out there that wants to see a crazy motherfucking comedian, Brian Holtzman is fucking awesome from the mothership, and we love him so much. One of a kind, dude. Brian would get up, this is one of my favorite Brian Holtzman stories. So when Jeff, piano Jeff died of COVID or HIV, right?

Starting point is 00:15:11 He could take your pick. He might've died of HIV-OVID, right? I mean, he had something he had, you know? And if you don't know him, Jeff Scott, bring up a picture of him, a beautiful man, and he got HIV in Connecticut a long time ago. Prince Town, Prince Town?

Starting point is 00:15:30 It was like a hot gay district, he told me about it. Yeah, he always took a whole bunch of pills. And he was always partying and just, you know, he was always, you know, two balls. Well no, I wasn't saying party pills, like HIV pills. Oh, he was? Yeah, he always had like a fistful of HIV pills. Oh, he was I was always yeah He always had like a fistful of HIV. Okay. Well, I think No pills like you know what I mean that make him feel better right well that are supposed to support AIDS

Starting point is 00:15:54 You know the kind of magic Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's Laker snacks Cuz I think yeah, jeep that Laker's Hats on okay, you know what I mean? We can. I think we should put our hats on. Okay. You know what I mean? We can mix it up. Because we got Gary Shanley hair. Yeah, it's that time of day. But he would also, in between taking pills.

Starting point is 00:16:12 What does it say, 1986, I was diagnosed with HIV. I was diagnosed with HIV and Cole told me, you have two years to live, here's a fan flip with some information, good luck. Yeah, and he lived forever. Yeah, and now, yeah, and this was, you had to take 20 pills a day, he said right there. Now he also was doing cocaine, right?

Starting point is 00:16:28 So part-time or whatever, semi part-time. But anyway, bless him, no judgment. No, this is judgment. But so they had a call during COVID where it was a funeral. It was his funeral over Zoom. It was a Zoom mural, right, or whatever they called him. And so we're on there and people are crying and Whitney was wearing a kimono

Starting point is 00:16:50 and wandering around her mansion or whatever. There was 75 people on there and his Jeff's sister was on there and she would speak. And every now and then, Brian Holtzman would chime in and go, he had AIDS, people! Brian Holtzman. Oh, that's fucking hilarious. Which I'm in. Right. He had AIDS, people. Right, right, right.

Starting point is 00:17:08 He had AIDS. Right. And people, everybody would die laughing, bro. He was the Harvey Milk of our time. Just Holtzman would just throw in these, it was a pure comedy set, and it just one of like it was it was that Thing where it's like laugh at the pain, you know, and it was just unprecedented. But yeah, it's great to see him thriving I'm there. Yeah, his style is

Starting point is 00:17:35 you know, it's It's a an acquired taste. Oh, you know, it's an acquired taste You know, he does a lot of these videos where he'll film people leaving his show Have you seen that mm-hmm? It's fucking hilarious because there's a lot of people that leave his show Oh, yeah, I mean they get pissed off, so they film it and they're like people are like that guy's fucking disgusting I'm gonna call the Put one of those videos up where whole Where Holtzman just clears a room he clears a room dude like

Starting point is 00:18:04 Where a whole swim just clears a room. He clears a room dude like Something the guys Jeff sister was crying and he put that in turn it up He's pretty Pretty You want you Too much That guy's like it Like he's self like he's too much. What the fuck are you talking about? You can't with the 40-ish group Yeah, you can't That is not for me No, thank you. Fuck you.

Starting point is 00:18:48 Fuck him. My family will pay our bills. Don't worry. Someone has to represent a generation. It's not you. Fuck him. I don't fucking care. You guys gotta go see him. I mean he's basically, he walks a lot of people. Hold on let's see, this is five. Okay. There you go. I mean, it's basically he he walks a lot of people

Starting point is 00:19:08 Look what happens You guys pay for that bill Give me my fucking money, you motherfucker. Wow, yeah. That's classic, I didn't know they do this. They have to keep doing more of this. Yeah, but anyways, but it's a good time for comedy, man. It's fucking crazy, dude. It's crazy.

Starting point is 00:19:35 When I was growing up, you know, it was five guys that were selling out the rooms that you guys sell out. Is that true? Yeah, that's true. You had Dice, you had Eddie Murphy, like three or four other guys. And now there's a lot of fucking guys. Like the rooms you play, it's insane.

Starting point is 00:19:50 Oh yeah, it's crazy now. It's fucking insane. I can't even believe it. I mean, you must be pinching yourself. You walk out on the stage, it's like fucking what, 20,000 people? No, no, no. 10,000 people and they got Ari Maness,

Starting point is 00:20:01 how the fuck, right? I'm grateful to have him around. Ari's this week, he always speaks very highly of you. Oh cool. Always. Yes, yes, I've taken him out on the road. The thing is with you and I, because we're similar in a way,

Starting point is 00:20:13 like we go out on the road and we bring these guys, and you know, and we know, and you know, I know, and everyone else knows, the reason why people are paying for the tickets is for us. But at the end of the day, you gotta take care of your guys and you also, they're there not just to open the show, they're there to hang out for you emotionally. And that's more important.

Starting point is 00:20:32 So you gotta give them a little extra shekels for that. That's a good point, man. You know what I'm saying? And that's what I do. And I pay for everything and I, you know, I take care of my guys because, you know, at the end of the day, we're lonely guys, me and you. I mean, let's be honest.

Starting point is 00:20:47 If they weren't there, you'd have some local opening for you and then you wouldn't be able to be with your homie. Yeah. Well, it's definitely true. And yeah, you kind of factored in it. It's like you think like, okay, I wanna just, yeah, your opener's almost become who do I- Emotional support animal.

Starting point is 00:21:01 Who do I like being around? Who likes being around me? Who can we both be around each other? Hang, it's all about the hang. Just sitting before you go on and you feel like those are your real friends. And I think that's more important. And then obviously you're giving them stage time

Starting point is 00:21:14 and they're making some money. But at the end of the day, we're broken wings, dude. We're fucked up, dude. If your mom was pretty attentive and she was really kind of there, what do you think kind of made you, turned you into a comedian, you think? For me, I just, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:21:30 I mean, I've always loved making people laugh. You know what I mean? Ever since I was a kid. I mean, it started with Richard Pryor and Robin Williams and all those guys, because back in the day, I talk about this on my one-man show. I have a one-man show that your dude told me he saw. It's called Stick With the Dancing.

Starting point is 00:21:44 It's about my childhood. And it's everything before I made it. It's all the shit that I had before I made it. Yeah, it's all my childhood shit. But when I was a kid, you know, my mom used to have a lot of parties at the house. So she would always be like, let's go back to the fucking house from the store.

Starting point is 00:22:01 You know what I mean? And everyone would go to the house, the Doheny house, where I grew up in, and it would be like a Tuesday night, and I'd be trying to sleep, and I'd hear the party going downstairs. I had to wake up for school in the morning, because my mom's guardian,

Starting point is 00:22:18 who is a Thai lady by the name of Suni, and the bar manager name was Ted, and he worked at the club, and Suni would have to take me to school and I had to wake up in the morning but they'd be partying downstairs. So I had to go downstairs and I'd have to tell my mom to shut up, I mean for real because my mom was

Starting point is 00:22:36 from Wisconsin and her voice would go ah, and it would peer through the fucking laughter and there would be Richard Pryor and there would be Robin and fucking Argus and Richard Belzer and and Tim Tomerson and Biff Maynard and all these fucking guys It was wild dude like my shit like when I like the fact that I'm still around and I'm okay It's fucking weird. Yeah, you know what I mean? Oh, I can't imagine fucking weird because I seen so much Do you feel like you had you felt like you had to compete?

Starting point is 00:23:05 To be like you oh well that in order to be even seen I have to be funny because that's no I was just no because when I told them to shut up I had school in the morning everyone laughed Yeah, so it was like that's of course yeah They would just laugh so it was like I was I was you know I guess I was funny without knowing I was funny when I was you know when I was just just a kid But I always liked making people laugh. I always fucked around. And that's what Totally Polly was.

Starting point is 00:23:29 I mean Totally Polly was like this kind of happy accident. The thing on MTV was just like this fucking storm. Yeah, how many episodes did you guys do of it? We shot six years, dude. Six years, every day from three to 430. Jesus. That's what I was telling you when you came up to my house. I'm like, dude, you're like I was shot six years, dude. Six years, every day from three to 430. That's what I was telling you when you came up to my house. I'm like, dude, you're like I was back when I first made it,

Starting point is 00:23:50 because you're like this, people are like, ah, ah, ah, on you, and that's how it was for me, but I was in my 20s. How old are you? I'm 44. So imagine it when you're in 20s. I would not be a lot, I'd be deceased. I'd be deceased, but at least then the cocaine was safe to do. Yeah, because you did a lot of that. I did some imagine it when you're in 20s. I can't, I would not be allowed to be deceased. So I'd be deceased, but at least then

Starting point is 00:24:05 the cocaine was safe to do. Yeah, cause you did a lot of that. I did some of it. Not a lot though? I did a lot, yeah, I did a little more than I said. I just said I did, yeah, I did, yeah, I did it. Yeah, cause you have mental stuff too, right? Well, I mean-

Starting point is 00:24:19 Are you better now than you were? Yeah, some stuff's better, but I think, what do I, I mean, yeah, I don't know. I'd like, you know what I liked about, I think I just didn't trust the fucking world, right? There's just something about the world I didn't trust. I didn't trust it out of the gate. You trust me?

Starting point is 00:24:35 I don't know, we'll see. I didn't trust the world out of the gate, but there was something about a joke, right? That you couldn't, if I got you to laugh, if you laughed, it was like. Yeah, I think we should take our hats off. Okay, I'd love to. Okay.

Starting point is 00:24:55 I think it's a great idea. Do you have glasses? Yeah, I do have some. Yeah, let's put some glasses on. I think that, don't you think it makes sense? Will you bring my glasses that are in there? Just because we're trying to do. They're in the front of my book bag, they're lenses- in it just because we're trying to do in the front of my

Starting point is 00:25:05 Book bag or lenses list yeah, we're trying to do a theme thing here Okay, like that you know like the blue sheet you know like what is it? Oh like blue bonnet? I don't know like Blues Brothers Blues Brothers that makes sense right yeah Okay, so go on back into the lap There's a little but there's something about laughter, man. Like, it was just, it was like magic. It was like, how do I do magic from over here? Like make you feel a certain way, but I don't need to go over it.

Starting point is 00:25:32 I just, it's like, what do you do? And laughter was that. If you could get somebody, you'd say something, and they went from whatever their state was, and they laughed. I was like, oh, that's real. That's authentic. It's authentic. I can rely. That is, they's real. That's that's authentic. It's authentic

Starting point is 00:25:45 I can rely that is they couldn't have faked that yeah, you can tell if they yes Exactly, so you're from the bayou though right so there's something like yeah, I'm so you're gonna buy Oh, this is good, dude. This is like a theme thing what oh wow oh Wow, so you don't have shades on there. Yeah, the shades that we can edit them in. They're clear. Oh you edit them in? Oh, that's sick So this is Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun who came by the store, right? Who came by the store, Paulie, over the, like, I mean, what about when Jim Carrey came? Were you guys just like, what? Like, who came and it was just something so novel? Did you ever see a popcorn machine put popcorn out?

Starting point is 00:26:38 You know, where pop pop pop pop pop pop? That was like the store back in the, you know, in the 70s, 80s and 90s. It felt like that. You know, my mom was the center. She in the you know in the 70s 80s and 90s. Yeah, it felt like that You know my mom was the center. She was the sentinel colonel You know what I mean? So yeah, so boom you got you got Jim Carrey boom you got dice boom you got fucking You know Arsenio boom you got a Roseanne boom you got you know Eddie Murphy boom you got Richard boom You got Robin boom it was just like boom boom, but everyone boom, you got Robin, boom, it was just like boom, boom.

Starting point is 00:27:05 But everyone was doing drugs and everyone was drinking. And it was just like normal, you know? And Sam Kennison was the man. It was part of society. It was very common. That's why when Tommy Lee was here, he was here, I guess, earlier or whatever, he was part of that whole thing,

Starting point is 00:27:20 because him and Sam Kennison were very close. They were? Yeah, very close. Fuck, we should have made it. And then also Vince Neil, who I talked to about a month ago, he lives in Nashville. Do you know that? Because you live in Nashville.

Starting point is 00:27:32 I see him sometimes. Yeah, and he says he's got a huge, he's the only one that's still not sober. Like everyone else is sober. And Vince is like, no, fuck that. I'm like, cool, I'm hanging out with you. Yeah, dude, Vince is fucking wild, bro. Yeah, there you go.

Starting point is 00:27:46 Oh, that's so cool. What about the story with Kennison and LeBeauvre? Did you know about all that? Oh, very much so. Yeah, that's a wild story. Take me through some of that story. Okay, so basically there was a comedian for you young TikTokers out there

Starting point is 00:28:01 that are obsessed with my friend Theo Vaughn. Just so you know, Vaughn is from, it's a French articulation that comes from the south of France in an island called Brindisi. So just look that up. That's where his last name is, Theo Vaughn. Vaughn. Yeah, and my family originally is from Mogadishu, actually.

Starting point is 00:28:21 Yes, Mogadishu, which is in the Swiss Alps. Yep. Swiss Alps. High as you can go up there. Yeah, so it's just up, up, up,u, actually. Yes, Mogadishu, which is in the Swiss Alps. Yep. Swiss Alps. High as you can go up there. Yeah, so it's just up, up, up, up, up, that's where his mom popped you out. Come on up, that's what mom would say. Yep, come on up.

Starting point is 00:28:32 It'd take a month. Yep, so just to do the quick version, there's a comedian named Sam Kenison, he was on fire, his best friend was named Carl LeBeau, think about Amirh, you know? And you guys are doing drugs and getting fucked up and blah, blah, blah. And Amir Keh is married and Amir Keh has a wife

Starting point is 00:28:58 and you fuck his wife and then you get her pregnant and then you die. And then Amirir Kay has your baby and then Amir Kay winds up having to pay for your baby. And he thinks it's his baby his whole life. No, because it looks like fucking you. But they never got a blood test I don't think until later, right? Until kind of later, yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:24 So for 16 years, I think. 18 years, like he had, you know. Carl was paying for the baby. Carl was supporting the child and thinking it was his daughter. Yeah, but it was fucked up. And I still haven't met the kid. Wow. And I really wanna meet the kid.

Starting point is 00:29:39 So. That'd be pretty fascinating. We should get her on this fucking show. I'll fucking with that. We should get Zoom right now with her. How sick would that be Sam? Sam canesons, uh, she's like Yeah, oh

Starting point is 00:29:52 You know being an adult has its high points. I'll say that you can eat ice cream for dinner You can sit in your car and have you a dang waffle in there if you want eat it with your hands God That's nice. But it's not all fun. You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner. And you have to make doctor's appointments. But for that, there's ZocDoc,

Starting point is 00:30:17 the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier. That's right. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. Finally, there's a way to do that easily. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care and much more. Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same

Starting point is 00:30:58 day appointments. You know, I hate looking for doctors the old way. It's confusing. You got three windows open on your computer and Zoc.doc, that's the way I'm doing it. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zoc.doc.com slash Theo to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash T-H-E-O. Zoc.doc.com slash t h e o zoc doc.com slash Theo is pornography causing a problem in your life. That's a good question.

Starting point is 00:31:33 It's a real question. It has in mind. It has at certain periods in my life, uh, watching porno and everything and watching porno was making me, it was ruining my life. It was ruining my life man. Made me feel just so much shame, that's what it did. Well watching pornography has become commonplace today and oftentimes men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety and depression. That's all I want to introduce you to my friend, Steven Wolt.

Starting point is 00:32:08 Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery. He is a dear friend of mine. He is a dear friend of mine. And Valor Recovery is a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. That's right. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and they will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend problematic behaviors. There is zero commitment if you reach out to them. It's just the first step in trying to figure out if you may need some help, if you can get some help. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at ValorRecoveryCoaching.com or email them at admin at ValorRecoveryCoaching.com. The links will be on the YouTube. And again,

Starting point is 00:32:58 there's no commitment when you reach out to them. But I promise you, only something positive will come from you reaching out and figuring out what type of help, if any, could benefit you. Thank you. But, yeah, so- Yeah, that was wild. And Carl got a fucking, Carl got the, he had a tough one. He had a tough run. I gotta put my glasses back on. Thanks. Yeah, but Carl had a tough one. He had a tough run. I gotta put my glasses back on.

Starting point is 00:33:26 Thanks. Yeah, but Carl had a tough run and he was genius. He was a great. Carl was great. I would see him down in Texas down at Randy Butler's clubs down there. And I would see him perform down there sometimes and cross paths with him.

Starting point is 00:33:36 Nice guy. Yeah. People loved him. Yeah, he was special. There was another guy named Mitchell Walters who also died. You know Carl died, right? Yeah. Yeah, and Mitchell he was he was special. There was another guy named Mitchell Walters who also died, you know, Carl died, right? Yeah, yeah, and Mitchell Walters died too. He was fucking hilarious He had the fucking funniest 12 minutes of material really bring him up. This guy was fucking hilarious

Starting point is 00:33:57 Wow, we did we did shows in Vegas. This was in the late 80s and and We were at the Dunes Hotel and it was Sam Kenison and the Outlaws of Comedy. Mitchell, what was his name? Mitchell Walters, yeah this guy. Oh wow, beautiful. He was fucking hilarious.

Starting point is 00:34:14 Trans or no? No, he wasn't trans. Indian, huh? No, I don't know what he was, but he was fucking hilarious. See, there's a picture with him and Sam and Billy Idol on the left. Up there, yeah, there you go. So before one of the shows at the Dunes,

Starting point is 00:34:31 this was the late 80s, this one, Sam Kenison was getting sued by United Artists for not showing up on his movie set, a took. So Mitchell Walters comes up to me before the show, and I said, Mitchell, we're gonna hang out after the show, right? And he goes yeah, absolutely me and you were gonna party package package party And then when the show started and then the show finished and I went to go hang out with them and I'm like yo Let's fucking he's like get the fuck away from me golden boy. I don't go hang out with your fucking mother

Starting point is 00:35:00 I don't have time for this shit because what beef in between the show He went out and did coke and he fucking gambling He lost everything. Yeah. Yeah, so damn. Yeah, he was one show lost at all. Yeah, he lost a lot And how did he pass away? I think he had some type of some type of internal like, you know I don't want to say it was cancer or something like that, but he wasn't he wasn't too healthy Yeah, yeah, so but he was but he was a really funny cat as well, though. It's kind of a dangerous, it's a dice roll doing comedy

Starting point is 00:35:31 because you're really, you're at a, because comedy club is just a bar attached to a stage. That's all it is. It's a bar, so it's like. You have access to everything. Yeah, and you have access to everything, and you perform at night, so you're at work at night. People have just gotten out of a crowd, they're on a high you're on a high. It's like

Starting point is 00:35:48 Yeah, it's like you're just there's so much temptation. That's right there so much possibility for um to get in trouble So how's it going for you now? How are you feeling these days? Um, I feel okay I think I feel like a lot of responsibility sometimes, you know, so that's it's not as much fun sometimes, I guess, because you feel like you have more responsibility. But then sometimes I gotta remember, hey man, just take it easy, just do your best, be yourself, try your best, and just try to be honest

Starting point is 00:36:16 about whenever you can about what's going on, you know? So some of that's been pretty interesting. I think just that the boom we're having in comedy has been really, that's been a real blessing because I think the news kind of shot itself in the dick over the past five years or something. Kind of like, nobody knows what's news or what's real anymore. So everything's such a joke anyway

Starting point is 00:36:39 that I think people are like, well, at least I know these are jokes. Yeah, and then what do you think about doing something on stage or doing something, or this or whatever, and then people comment on this as opposed to the old days, where you just do a TV show and no one would comment. Right.

Starting point is 00:36:55 Except for they would just come up to you at like a, you know, a diner and say, oh, I saw you on Married with Children or some shit. But like, this is instant. Do you read the comments? Sometimes I'll look at some of them. Sometimes the producers will send me some to watch. You know, it's good luck.

Starting point is 00:37:08 It's like, do you want to open a box that something can hurt your feelings? I don't know, you know? I think that's kind of some of the dangerous part. Now if it's something super funny, a lot of times they'll make sure that I see it, you know? And sometimes if somebody makes funny, really good. What do you think about what happened

Starting point is 00:37:22 to Jack Black and his partner recently? He's not. His partner, you know? Well, no, because he said some- Is he homosexual? The what? He's homosexual? No, I don't know, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:37:31 What happened was I think they said something about Donald Trump. Oh, I didn't even see that. Oh, with Tristan D or whatever the guy's name is? Snake D or whatever? No, his partner said something. Oh yeah, he said, I wish I wouldn't have missed him. Yeah, I think that's fucking kind of classless, I think. Yeah. I wouldn't say that about a president. No, no. Did you um. But isn't it wild that like you can ad

Starting point is 00:37:52 live something like that and then it's a rap for a while. Yeah. It's crazy, right? And yes, it was terrible. You know, that he said that and that's you don't you don't say that and you don't even joke about that. But I mean, look, but also it's like, that's how he feels. I just think it's a kind of a, and it had just had like, yeah, it's just kind of, people don't want that. People are confused enough. So what do you think about Kamala these days? This is pretty, it's gonna be, no, but the whole thing. Kamala's not even, she does, it's like.

Starting point is 00:38:23 I know, but the whole thing's gonna be like a great, it's gonna be political theater. I think, oh, it is. I mean, it's gonna be, no but the whole thing. Kamala's not even, she does. I know but the whole thing's gonna be like a great, it's gonna be political theater. I think, oh it is. I mean it's gonna be like. It's all it is now. Yes. I think politics is just. Political theater.

Starting point is 00:38:33 It's a shell or it's a shell company for the big business. It's a fucking, it's like a puppets, it's a puppet theater it seems like to me. Yeah. Well I think, I don't know a puppet theater, it seems like to me. Well I think, I don't know if Kamala doesn't have it to win, I don't think that. I don't think anyone is gonna beat Trump, to be honest. I think Bobby Kennedy I feel like has a lot of great points to talk about and stuff, I think he's very fascinating.

Starting point is 00:38:58 I think he, you know you believe that he wants to get in there and do something different. Why is it so many people don't want to run for president? Like The Rock, for instance, people have talked about The Rock. Like he's gorgeous, he's big, he's handsome, he's a huge, huge star. Like, you know, like I think Trump fans,

Starting point is 00:39:18 and then also the liberal audience would fucking go, oh my God, that's fucking The Rock. That's our guy. Yeah, because obviously, like would you ever run for anything like that? Like think about it for a second, like not right now, but I'm like, you know, you're 44, you said?

Starting point is 00:39:33 44. I'm 44. 44, so look about when you're 54. Yeah. You know what I mean, after you kind of like wanted to chill, like would you ever get into politics? Maybe I would run for a VP or something if they let you. So you'd be a vice president?

Starting point is 00:39:45 Be cool. Vice president, you just get to stand in the back and be like this. Right? That'd be cool. Vice president, you just get to fucking chill, bro. Have you ever been to the White House? Sure they wanna thug.

Starting point is 00:39:56 You just get to fucking, they're like, what does the vice president say? You just get to say some crazy shit, bro. And you know what I'm saying? You get to say, hey China, we bout this shit, bro. And then it just goes viral and then you're fucking having a blast, dude. And you can party with chicks or whatever. Your wife can be fucking cool.

Starting point is 00:40:12 Your kids can be on the front lawn fucking juggling or fucking smoking behind the statues or whatever. I think it would be, that part would be pretty fun. And there's no pressure. Everybody knows the vice president's a who gives a fuck anyway. It's like, they let everybody knows the vice president of who gives a fuck anybody be the vice president yeah but now she's she cuz Joe Biden timbered yeah timbered you know I mean Joe should have fucking hung in there yeah yeah until he fell really hard you know what they should have done here's what they should have done with him because he didn't want to bail you

Starting point is 00:40:43 know he didn't want to bail no they know what I mean? He didn't want to bail. No, they told him so long he was the president, and he finally, when they said, no, no, you're not the president, he's like, I am the president, he believed it. No, what they should have done is they should have told him that, that Mr. President, there's mold in the White House, we need to move you to a hotel.

Starting point is 00:40:59 Move him to a hotel for three, four days, then take all his pictures and all the different things that are in the White House and put them in another White House and then move them back into that and say, this is your place. He won't know that it's not his place. And then just say, you're the president, but he just like plug in other TVs and shit. Like, don't I have anything to do today? Like, no, you're good.

Starting point is 00:41:18 Yeah. They're like, no, your dog just bit somebody. Now eat some ice cream. But I felt bad because he was, you know, he was being puppeted. It felt like. Yeah, but he was also, I've been around, like my mom, for instance, my mom wasn't well, you know, towards the last good 10 years. She was, you know.

Starting point is 00:41:34 Have some dementia. Yes, she had that whole thing. So that was affecting me watching Joe, or reminding me of my mom. And your grandparents, or people's watching grandparents, it's not fucking funny. Oh, if you did that to me. Yeah, I mean, my father was 70 when I was born,

Starting point is 00:41:50 so he was an old man. Oh, shit. So I can totally relate to the sense of like, it felt like somebody was being taken advantage of a little bit. Yeah. And that really, I don't care what side of things you're on, but that to me just felt,

Starting point is 00:42:00 it must look cringe to people in the world if that's how we're willing to do with our senior citizens. And then also like every time he walked off a plane, wasn't cool, like it felt like he was gonna fall. Yeah. And it wasn't cool. And it's like, you know, I didn't wanna see that. Right.

Starting point is 00:42:14 You know what I mean? I didn't wanna see it. I'm glad that nothing bad happened. That's a good point, huh? All those little stages they put them on. The scariest thing to put, the scariest thing for senior citizen next to more than one Ottoman in a room is a little stage, dude, because there's nowhere really to go except for down.

Starting point is 00:42:31 Yeah, just stairs. Yeah, one stair, two stairs. Yeah. So that shit was bonked, dude. What do you think? And it looks like almost they tried to kill Trump, someone did, it didn't work. And so then Biden, they're like, well, if that doesn't work, then Biden has to step down

Starting point is 00:42:47 because he has to put somebody that can try to win. I don't know if that's true, but it looks a little bit like that. What do you think happened? Do you think, what do you think? I think he's a sicko, that little kid. Oh, you think it was just the kid acting alone? Yeah, he's a sicko, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:01 I think so, I think he was just a sicko. You know, it's like a lot of these school shootos, they're not all up there. Who's gonna take a gun and go shoot up a school? It's just disgusting. So it's like for someone to do that, it's just repulsive. I don't know. I mean, no comment, it's just sad.

Starting point is 00:43:21 The kids are fucked up like that. Oh, it's heartbreaking. And then the kid is dead now I don't you know and you wonder like did somebody get to this kid and inspire him to do that The thing about having another shooter because some people think there's another shooter, but you would had to have had The then somebody had to have hired the kid you know they have to know the kids gonna do it or yeah And I don't think that happened. I think he's just a wacko that knew Trump was,

Starting point is 00:43:48 you know what I mean? Gonna be speaking. But then it's unbelievable that the Secret Service wasn't able to, like, if people were- Because they were checking their Instagram. Yeah, probably. Absolutely. They're just self-involved with their own bullshit,

Starting point is 00:44:01 and they weren't focused on the whole thing. Either way, I like, at like, you know, at night, you know, I was fucking with you the other night when we were texting each other. I said, I gotta go, I'm going to sleep, I'm watching Fox News. You know what I mean? I just, you know, as a con,

Starting point is 00:44:14 I started watching Fox News with my mom. She loved it. She loved it. She would just watch Bill O'Reilly, look at Bill O'Reilly, and then she'd see the Fox News anchors Which the fuck is her or tea? She's got fucking horse teeth Polly You know with all the Fox News anchor girls. She'd always get angry. What the fuck is she looking at?

Starting point is 00:44:36 Yeah, she's got she looks like a horse face. She would say that she was fucking hilarious, so I would watch I would always watch You'd say that shit was fucking hilarious. So I would watch, I would always watch, you know, the news with her. We'd watch CNN, we'd watch Fox. Any other shows y'all would watch together? Game shows or anything? Tommy would bring over comedians sometimes.

Starting point is 00:44:55 Tommy, the old talent guy, yeah, he'd bring over comedians. What do you think of him? You know, shit like that. I miss Tommy, kind of. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I miss him. Yeah, he was fun. he was a great guy.

Starting point is 00:45:06 He was there when I got there, he was such a character, you know, how he kind of like, you know? Well he was funny, because he said he stayed. You're doing it, man, you're doing it. Yeah, him and his girl Steph, they stayed at the Hyatt. And he says, well, it seems like the comedy store's calling me, it's right down there, they want me. They want me to run the comedy store is calling me. It's right down there. They want me They want me to run the comedy store. Don't you understand?

Starting point is 00:45:37 Well, that's how it is. That's how your mother wanted it Polly listen to your mother. She's the queen You know me pretty cool. He was what do you think of his relationship with your mom? What do you think it was like? It was good. It was good. I mean, he used to do shit with my mom that you're not supposed to do for someone that you're working, he used to carry her up the stairs. I mean, she would literally call him up, help me up, I can't get up, you know? And it was, you know, she would be working the cover booth

Starting point is 00:45:57 and then Steve Rennazizzi would have to come in and that's when he stole the money. But that was another conversation that was supposed to be funny. Anyways, all right. No, I think it's, yeah, it's like, well, yeah, cause I never knew exactly what happened. I just knew that.

Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah, so what happened was, is my mom didn't trust a lot of people. Right. And my mom loved Tommy, because she just, you know, she took to certain people. My mom took to certain people and she really liked him and she trusted him.

Starting point is 00:46:24 So when she couldn't get up the stairs, you know, cuz she would try to get up the stairs You know, she would call the store and she'd say can you help me up the stairs? And then he would be like Mitzi. I can't you know what I mean? I'm I'm you know, I'm here in the cover booth There's people I need help up the fucking stairs. Let's go And then and then that's when you know Tommy would get Renazzi or someone to sit in Benji or whoever, and they'd sit in and she would go,

Starting point is 00:46:50 and I would be there and I would like, you know, help bring her up the stairs. And then he would sit with her for a long time and watch the TV, and sometimes not even go back to work. So he did stuff that you weren't supposed to do as an employee, but that's what my mom was. That's what the store was. The store was always about helping people. And if you stole, you stole. That's on you. And was that ever proven that he did it?

Starting point is 00:47:16 I don't know. I wasn't involved. Yeah. I just heard things and you're like, well, what even happened? And you never got to really hear his side of it, I feel like either. like, well, what even happened, you know? And you never got to really hear his side of it, I feel like, either, you know? But, yeah, so, but yeah, you know? You had, so recently Richard Simmons passed away. Yes. Was there, were you guys ever,

Starting point is 00:47:35 cause I know you were trying to do, you did a great video, kind of auditioning to play him. Yes. And did you guys ever come to a real conclusion? Did you ever get to actually talk with him about it? I never, I reached out to him. I've known him since I was little. I sent him flowers on Valentine's Day.

Starting point is 00:47:59 This is a short film. Oh, this short film is called Court Jester. And I love him and I love his story and I wanna do his biopic. So we did this short film and it did really well for me. We were at Park City at Park City with it, and you know, people just loved it. Play some right there. Oh, by halfway into this, I believe that it's him. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:46 It really seems like Impallabem. That's great. Yeah, so. And he was from Louisiana, actually. Yes, he was. Him and his brother Lenny, yeah. And so, now, since he's passed, is there a,

Starting point is 00:49:02 would you still try to do it? Like, I don't know if that's against the grain or whatever, or is that just, can his estate hire you to do it? Well, here's the deal in reality. First of all, I'm just an actor, okay? I'm not a lawyer, you know? But from what I've learned from being in this process that if you're a public figure,

Starting point is 00:49:24 it's called an unauthorized biopic. So for instance, they happen every day. So I mean the Pam and Tommy Hulu special or Hulu series was unauthorized. Oh, wow. You know, they didn't have- So people can just make it. That's they do stuff all the time that way. So as long as you don you don't do something mean,

Starting point is 00:49:46 you know, as long as I do it nice, like this piece is nice. Right, you're not defaming him. Yeah, you're not defaming him, then I'll be fine. So I'm in bed with a producer named Mark Wahlberg, W-O-L-P-E-R, not Wahlberg, and he's been in the game for about 50 years, him and his family.

Starting point is 00:50:02 They have a deal at Warner Brothers, and I have a great writer named Jordan Allen Dutton who's writing the script. So I'm moving forward with it. But my instinct is like your instinct is get his estate to kind of be involved, give them some money, but we'll see. I'm kind of at the place where I just wanna make the movie

Starting point is 00:50:21 and I just want to kind of do goodbye him and not defame him. And that's kind of my come from from the beginning. And it was never about making fun of anything else. You know, his, Richard saved lives. Like his, he saved lives and he helped people. And that's kind of where my come from is. And at the end of the day, yeah, I'm a comic, but I'm a fucking actor.

Starting point is 00:50:42 You know what I mean? I started a lot of movies and that's my main. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh yeah dude. I've starred in a lot of movies, and that's my main thing, and that's why I still sell tickets. I don't sell tickets because of my Netflix special, or I sell tickets because of this, because I've touched people with my films. And so this is, lines up,

Starting point is 00:50:59 it's kind of like God gave me a softball. I mean, this is like a really great opportunity for me, and I'm gonna do it and it's gonna happen and we're getting the financing together right now. That's kind of where we are in the process. But I got a great producer that I've been in bed with on this for about six months. And we've got a great writer, we've got a great story,

Starting point is 00:51:17 we've got a great pitch and he's writing the script right now. So yeah, so it's happening. Yeah, and I think, you know, say if you had passed away and you knew before you passed away, you were like, I don't know if I want this guy to make this thing about me or to be in it. And who knows if maybe also Richard Simmons

Starting point is 00:51:30 was feeling embarrassed about himself. You know, sometimes it's like, I just want to go away. If he knew he was sick, there's just so many little, but then if you did pass away and then somebody made something that was really honoring you and you got to see it, I wonder how you would feel. I feel like I would probably feel like,

Starting point is 00:51:46 man, that's pretty cool. Yeah, well, that's how I feel. I feel that he would see it just like he probably saw this. And he touched people's lives, like you said. Yeah, absolutely. And at the end of the day, publicly he came out and he says, I don't... Yeah, what did he say? Bring it up.

Starting point is 00:52:04 He says, I don't approve of P what did he say, bring it up? He says, I don't approve of Polly Shore playing me in a biopic, and then he says, he says, I want Tom Cruise to play me. So obviously. So, I mean, you know, that's a funny joke, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, really? You know what I mean, that's actually very, you know what I mean, but here's another thing, Theo,

Starting point is 00:52:21 like, how do we know this was even him writing this shit? Oh, totally, dude. How do we even know he was writing this? Twink that he met at the airport or or one of his handlers you don't fucking know was probably a twink that he met at The airport let's be realistic. It's a lie. What does it say? I just read that a man that I don't know it's writing a script about Bible. I do not approve of this movie I'm in talks with the major duty to create my own biopic meanwhile. You know he passes Right so obviously he did you gotta read your own room of your life, like if you're passing away.

Starting point is 00:52:51 You're not writing that type of stuff. No. You're fucking worried about trying to live. Yeah, dude, you're fucking counting T-cells, homie. You're not over here fucking milling around on your typewriter. That's another thing I wanna get to the bottom. I wanna get to the bottom line because I love Richard

Starting point is 00:53:07 and I know Richard loves me and I know Richard loves my mom and I know that I don't have a fucking bad bone in my body and my come from is all about love and putting it out in a positive, positive way and I don't know and I don't believe that he's the one that wrote all this stuff. And if anything, I got him out. Meaning like I got him to just speak

Starting point is 00:53:31 because he'd been so recluse for so long. Yeah, people hadn't heard from him in a long time. Bring up some of the videos where he helped women lose some weight. I mean, he was the first kind of- Influencer. He was like a professional wrestler that never wrestled but danced the fat off of the Midwest

Starting point is 00:53:51 and other parts of America. And he made it fun. Yes. The Ellen stuff is great, yeah. Yeah, there he is. Look at that party off the pounds right there. I remember my grandmother had party off the pounds, dude, and I would sit and watch her move to this.

Starting point is 00:54:07 Hilarious. Before she hated me, but still. Look at him. Oh, it's like Teletubbies kinda. Cause he was chubby too. Yeah. And you know what would happen is he would get involved with a relationship with like an oversized woman.

Starting point is 00:54:35 And then after the woman lost all the weight, then Richard would just like give them the Irish goodbye. Really? And just like spatch and just like peace out. Cause he only wanted them for their weight? Yeah, just kind of wanted them while they were chubby. And you're not talking about sexual relationship? No, no, no, no, not at all, just like helping someone.

Starting point is 00:54:53 And now he- It's kind of like if you were chubby and I helped you and Polisher helped you and then all of a sudden I got you skinny and you're calling me and I'm like, I'm done with you. Like onto the next, like Superman. On to the next.

Starting point is 00:55:06 I needed somewhere else. Yeah, exactly. And he did do an Irish goodbye. Now he loved men though. I don't know if he did. That's a good point. Was he ever married? Let's look that up.

Starting point is 00:55:18 No, he never really was either or. That's a great question. Yeah. And maybe he was just like a piece of moon rock or something where he, he born Milton Teagle Simmons down there in New Orleans, Louisiana on July the 12th and he died July the 13th.

Starting point is 00:55:38 Did you ever see him when you were in Louisiana? I never did. No? I met I think one of his great granddaughters one time somewhere and she was trying to... Come to one of your shows? Trying to give me a BJ, honestly. Oh, G-J, G-J.

Starting point is 00:55:51 But this was, and that's, who knows what was going on, but he went to ULL down there and then he went to Florida State University. But no children, it says, I don't think, huh? No, he had a whole bunch of dogs. That was like his big thing. But I remember as a kid growing up, when Richard Simmons was coming on Letterman

Starting point is 00:56:10 or Howard Stern or Ellen, you would wait. When Letterman was like, yo, come out next, it's Richard Simmons, you're like, oh fuck, and he would come out and he would just kill. He would kill harder than a comedian, like on the sofa. He brought an energy with him. He was a real piece of energy that man. Now if it's homosexuality, would you ever, would you be willing to do those type of scenes

Starting point is 00:56:32 in it if you had to, to honor him? If you were the other guy. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, you're talking to me? All right, dude. Looks like I just got a part, huh? The weasel?

Starting point is 00:56:44 And the rap, bro. This is good. That's cross-pollination, dude. Looks like I just got a part, huh? The weasel? And the rap, bro. This is good. That's cross-pollination, dude. So you're acting, though, too. You're in some movies and stuff, right? No. What do you like about acting? You're trying to not talk about yourself, but that's okay.

Starting point is 00:56:56 That's sweet of you to change the subject, Paul. You do a good job making about other people. David Spade and I wrote a movie and we're trying to get financing for it. Huh? Cool. So have you have you acted a lot? Yes some like it. I think I love acting acting is fucking hard Yeah, which I love well, I mean dude at the in the 90s in early 2000 you were you were Some people say the biggest star in the world. Mm-hmm At did you feel like that at the in my 20s, yeah, I felt like that.

Starting point is 00:57:26 Because I was doing a lot. I was doing a lot. That's why I said to you at the Comedy Store, it was like six months ago, I said, you're like me back when I was, but you're in your 40s, I was in my 20s. I can't even imagine. Yeah, it was crazy.

Starting point is 00:57:38 I did albums, I did movies, HBO specials. What helped you get your break? Do you feel like your mom helped you? No. Do you feel like it was only, is that a weird, I don't mean to be rude. No, no, that specials, MTV. What helped you get your break? Do you feel like your mom helped you? Do you feel like it was only, is that a weird, I don't mean to be rude. No, no, that's not rude at all. I don't know. No, no, MTV.

Starting point is 00:57:52 But my mom didn't get me on MTV. I got me on MTV. Yeah, oh, 100%. I mean, they saw me and they're like, fuck, this kid's funny, and I got on MTV, and it just, it took off. And then from there, Jeffrey Katzenberg found me, and he was running Disney at the time. And he fucking just wrote all these movies for me, and they all did it took off. And then from there, Jeffrey Katzenberg found me and he was running Disney at the time.

Starting point is 00:58:06 And he fucking just wrote all these movies for me. And they all did well for me. Do you remember, like, would they come and see you at the store or did you have to go to meetings? What was that like? Both, both. I had my manager, Michael Rotenberg, from Three Arts. That was your manager?

Starting point is 00:58:17 Yeah, for eight years. Yeah, he was my manager the whole time. Michael's a cool dude. Really fucking cool. That's my homie. What's up, Michael? What's up, Michael? What's up, Michael Rotenberg?

Starting point is 00:58:25 I call him Crisco. You do? Crisco, cause he's so greasy, bro. Ha ha ha. He's so greasy. Rotenberg is cool, man. I like his, we have a similar sense of humor. And I, he's the nice guy.

Starting point is 00:58:36 Yeah, so he ran my shit, him and Adam Bennett from CAA. Yeah. Yeah, CAA ran my stuff for those, it was like Willy Wonka. I'm sorry I asked you if your mom helped you get it. No, I don't care. I know this wasn't cool though. Okay, well you can cut that part out.

Starting point is 00:58:52 You can leave it in, I just feel a little bad. I just, I don't know why I said that. Well I guess it's a hard business and people take whatever, whoever can help you sometimes it's good. Not that you didn't stand, here's what I mean, it's not that you didn't stand on your own talent. That's what I mean.

Starting point is 00:59:07 I think what we need to do is take a silence. You know how you sign like if someone dies, you do a silence and then, you know. Yeah, and let's put these hats on too. Yeah, hats in the glasses just for asking me if my mom got me in the show business. Let's just take a time for a, you know what I mean? Yeah, let's do five seconds, huh?

Starting point is 00:59:25 But you gotta breathe, think of Ayahuasca, I know we do that sometimes up in the hills, you know, here we go. Theo and myself are taking a little moment to get that energy out of the room that he put in there thinking that my mom, Mitzi Shore, the owner of the biggest comedy club in the world, got me my break in the entertainment business.

Starting point is 00:59:50 Wait, there's still some bad energy. Just anything Theo you wanna add or? BLM, homie. Okay, we got it out. That was good. All right. No, but it was just, it was, they saw me do stand up. They saw, I would, MTV.

Starting point is 01:00:10 MTV was- All right, but was there a call that you got one day where you were like, okay, this is getting fucking crazy? Well, after Encino Man came out, and it was a big hit for me, and then we rolled into Sun and Law, and it was just like boom boom boom, and they brought me around the world. You know what I used to do when we used to do shows, I used to never have people sitting. It was always festival seating.

Starting point is 01:00:35 So I always had like a band open for me, like the Spin Doctors, they would open for me, and then I would come out and do 45 minutes, people standing, and in between my jokes, I would stage dive. Yeah. Oh, and then just come back to the stage? Exactly.

Starting point is 01:00:54 I would stage dive. I would stage dive, and then I would come back and then do more jokes. That's kind of how it was. But it was called festival seating. You remember when I was a kid, you'd go to those concerts where there's no seats. And then I- Yeah, I. But it was called festival seating. You remember when as a kid you'd go to those concerts where there's no seats.

Starting point is 01:01:07 And then I- I love how they call it festival seating. There's no fucking seats. There's no seats. And then we would, and then I'd bring the band back out and then I would sing songs. And I had like this one song that was a hit song on MTV

Starting point is 01:01:19 called Lisa Lisa, the one I adore. Do you remember it? I don't. I'm a stony crusty dude with the mop on top. My melon's fully tweaked but I'll never stop. Stop trying to wheeze the nuts from coast to coast. The ones with the cones are the ones I dig the most. Sing Lisa Lisa.

Starting point is 01:01:37 Lisa Lisa. Stony body major. Stony body major. Yeah, that's how we turned. Yeah, I don't remember it, man. But it was,, but it was pretty good. It was pretty cool But anybody ever remake it hmm There it is turn that shit up crank that shit whoa turn it loud bro fucking lamb turn it over look at this shit Here we go. Look at this. But I'll never stop, stop trying to reach the nugs.

Starting point is 01:02:13 Come on. The coast, the ones with the calls out. Lisa Lisa, Lisa Lisa. Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Lisa Bro it seems like, hold on It seems like you just made this video so you could smash a lot of these shits bro

Starting point is 01:02:36 Be honest dude No it was a song based off of my ex girlfriend Yeah but you see the front nuts on that one lady dude You odd huh She was in the firehouse video really firehouse I'd fucking burn a house down to fucking I know she was dude. Yeah, if you put a ho yeah She seemed like a great woman. That's what I'm yes, um, but uh, yeah, so you ever make love to this woman. Um I'm not sure I think we me honks your name was Heather Heather Heather Parker's very very cool cool cool friend

Starting point is 01:03:08 very cool friend She was she was cool Dude, you know where we used to go that was fucking insane. Yeah, tell me holy fuck dude Let's put our heads on real quick Fuck dude, it was uh, it was, uh, Don Barris was the host. Fuck, what was it called? I wonder if it was called the Middly, uh, Evening at the, um... No, it was, uh...

Starting point is 01:03:32 The Cereb, uh, Sinking of the Cerebellum? No, it was, uh... Ding Dong Show? No, not the Ding Dong Show. This is way before. This was, uh, fuck, I forgot the name. It wasn't like Retard Wednesdays or something. No, it was, it was, uh, Mud Wrestling. It was Mud Wrestling't like Retard Wednesdays or something. No, it was Mud Wrestling.

Starting point is 01:03:46 It was Mud Wrestling. It was the Tropicana. Oh, in Vegas? No, the Tropicana here in Hollywood. It was right off of Hollywood Boulevard. I didn't even know that. But he used to host this thing, and the girls would come out,

Starting point is 01:03:57 and it would be Mud Wrestling. Yeah. And Don hosted it. It was fucking hilarious, dude. He had Don is uh Don is Yeah, I wouldn't f*** Don that's for sure. No, but it was it was it was a big I mean I bless him. I wouldn't fuck him because he's a man. That's why but mud wrestling was a big deal back

Starting point is 01:04:18 That's what I mean. Yeah That's how it was. Yeah, do you think um You think Trump will be the next president? I don't wanna say anything. I mean, I don't wanna say anything about it. I like watching it and just kind of being a fan of the political theater. Yeah, that's a good point.

Starting point is 01:04:40 I like just watching it and not, no, I mean, no one knows what the fuck's gonna happen. But I know there's gonna be some, it's gonna be a real fight. It's kind of like UFC fight, but for, you know, cause it's basically they're fighting for the most powerful job in the world. So they're gonna go after each other pretty fucking hard.

Starting point is 01:04:57 I mean, and they're completely different. I mean, she's like a prosecutor for like sex trafficking or something, isn't she? Yeah. I mean, I don't know, isn't she? Yeah. I don't know, isn't she like San Francisco? I thought she was an undercover cop or something. What was her original job?

Starting point is 01:05:10 She was a district attorney previously. District attorney. But wasn't she a prosecutor? Yes, so she would prosecute on behalf of, I think like Bay Area. Oh, like CSI? I don't know. Yeah, I don't the Bay Area. Oh, like CSI? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know, but either way,

Starting point is 01:05:28 she's not a fan of Trump. Right, so they're gonna, yeah, it's gonna be a good battle. And he's not a fan of hers, so it's gonna be fun to watch. Did you ever get to party with Trump back in the day, anyway? I did see him a lot back in the day, yeah. And what kind of guy did he seem like?

Starting point is 01:05:41 Like, if he saw me, he would fucking laugh. Yeah. Like, he'd be like, fuck, P Yeah, like he'd be like fuck Polly Shore He'd be like you're still alive. What the fuck how the fuck he's still around. He was cool He was um The first time I used to see him was in Daytona Beach and this was back in the 90s and this was when we did Spring break for MTV and all that you had Rodney Dangerfield Vince Neil was down there John Lovitz and Ron Rice was the owner of Hawaiian Tropic that's when the hard tits came out remember that

Starting point is 01:06:06 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Remember when hard-ass tits came out and Fabio remember Fabio Yeah, he was around that was around like now look at my tits and they look like you get Yeah, like you want like that. I was like, yeah Yeah, they would link you they make out of fucking? They would lean over and see these bags, they'd be hanging out. And they would look like, yeah. It was almost like somebody had made them out of dish gloves or something. They were like...

Starting point is 01:06:39 If you pulled a shirt on them, you could hear them like... It was just like, damn Taylor bitches are plastic, bro. Yeah, and this one girl I was dating, this one girl, her boobs started moving, bro. Oh yeah. Yeah, he wound up on her back. But it was cool though, because when I was doing Behind Doggy style, they're right there, bro. Easy access. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh, dude. So yeah, so that's right.

Starting point is 01:07:05 Some of that is the moon too. Wherever the moon is. That's what's neat about some of those when wherever the moon is, that's where their tits will go. And that's beautiful. A lot of you guys know we started off with our first advertiser ever was Grey Block Pizza. Get that hitter, baby. And the owner of Grey Block Pizza, my friend Thomas, evolved his business up in Oregon to start Blue Cube Baths. And he sent me one and it's absolutely beautiful.

Starting point is 01:07:36 A wonderful cold plunge, the best cold plunge in the market. If you value American-made and pinnacle cold exposure, this is your cold plunge, blue cube baths. What I love is you can set that temperature, get it down to, I mean, it might just, you might be able to ice skate in there. I haven't put it that low,

Starting point is 01:07:59 but you can set it to a place where you feel comfortable. I'll get in around 50 degrees for about 10 or 12 minutes. And that's what really sets me and activates me. I've done it before podcasts to really put me and just put me in my body and put me in the moment. You know, the positive side effects of cold plunging are countless. You can follow BlueCube's Instagram

Starting point is 01:08:23 for a chance to win your own cold plunge this spring and summer. That's right, they're giving one away. They will announce the giveaway soon, so follow them at Blue Cube Baths and we wish them the best of luck and thank them for supporting the podcast so early on. But yeah, I would see him at the Daytona beach, like the Hawaiian Tropic party. What did he seem like? This is my number one thing about Donald Trump, right? I've met him a few times,

Starting point is 01:08:52 but not had a chance to really engage with him, right? So you get an idea of him, but you're always like, well, what is he like? Like, you know, like you, if I never got to talk to you, I would have like, you know, some general thoughts, but I wouldn't really know what well, what is he like? Like, do you know what he's like?

Starting point is 01:09:07 Like, is he like a business guy? Is he just like a fun guy that plays tennis? Like, I think, I wish I knew more about how he is. Does that make any sense? Yeah, no, I never had those type of conversations where I'm like, oh yeah, I remember one time we talked about this. It was always like, kind of like when I'd see Hugh He Hefner I would never really engage in a conversation with him. I'd always kind of wave

Starting point is 01:09:29 Yeah, take his hand and you know what I mean so with Trump It was like the same thing you do you miss those parties over there was that fun? It was fun because it was before the whole social media thing But it's kind of like even driving down Sunset Boulevard now is it's fucking depressing You know the store is the only thing that's fucking popping. You know what I mean? Yeah, a lot of shit is just fucking insane. Yeah, but you drive down Sunset on a Saturday night,

Starting point is 01:09:50 there's nothing, it's just tumbleweed. People don't go out. It is quiet, huh? People don't go out anymore because people are scared. They don't wanna be around the photos and the videos and you know what I mean? People, so the parties are in the house, people stay in. And also COVID as well, people shifted and stayed in that. Unlike if you go to Texas or Florida

Starting point is 01:10:08 where people give a fuck. Or people are out. Oh, the second I got to Tennessee, yeah, people were spitting in each other's mouths and shit. You know what I'm saying, the kind of shit America's about, you know? Yeah, so. Recycling.

Starting point is 01:10:19 But here in LA, it's just like, it's, you know, it's. It has gotten quieter, huh? Yeah, the word is joy. There's not a lot of joy in Hollywood anymore. There's no fun. Although Silver Lake, Echo Park, Los Feliz, Hipster, those are fucking fun, dude.

Starting point is 01:10:37 Like that whole area, East Hollywood, it's fucking, it's fun. Yeah, it is interesting that Hollywood, it's kinda quieter now. Mm, yeah, and even when I went to- Where is everybody? They're not going out, or they moved. They moved. And even just in your life,

Starting point is 01:10:53 have you seen it just change so much? I think after COVID, you know, after COVID and all that, that whole, it just shifted into a different time. Because when Rogan and them were at the store, that was crazy too, remember that? I mean, you go on a Tuesday night, bro, and it was insane.

Starting point is 01:11:11 Here's a video that- This is how bad Hollywood is, what is this? This is a guy saying how bad it is in Hollywood. It's not fun, it's not joyful. He's talking about just the industry and what they're making right now. So I wonder if that's having an effect. It's pretty bad here in Hollywood,

Starting point is 01:11:22 and now we have some numbers to back it up Film LA has just released their report on on location and stage based production data Let's take a look at what this means Production in LA is down way way way down from just last year Feature films are down 3%, 3.3% versus a five year average. As we know, things were bad already. It is 23.8% down. Commercials are even worse over a five year average, 36.1% down. Television is down 45.8% and whatever other is, is down 20%.

Starting point is 01:11:59 So like industrial films, short films, just everything. Reality TV looks insane. The purple line here is reality. There's COVID, there's the strike, there's where reality TV is in LA right now. So as you can see just across the board, everything is down. All in all versus a five year average production shoot days

Starting point is 01:12:18 in Los Angeles, California, the home of the film industry are down 33.4%. So I got a little curious and I went to the Bureau of Labor Statistics to get the numbers on unemployment rates in the motion picture are down 33.4%. Wow. So I got a little curious and I went to the Bureau of Labor Statistics to get the numbers on unemployment rates in the motion picture and television industry. Now they do lump the sound recording industries in with this, but as you can see, it's not good.

Starting point is 01:12:34 That is a 16.1% unemployment rate in the motion picture and television industry. And that is from June, so that is not counting the massive layoffs that just occurred again at Warner Brothers Discovery, and it's definitely not counting Yeah, but so I mean they're just interesting and I'm not saying all this is like exact But I've just I saw this the other day and I was like wow yeah I wonder if there's just not as many people here as well well

Starting point is 01:12:56 It's also the business has shifted. Yeah, you know the business has shifted to this I mean look how many millions of people watch you doing this. You know what I mean? So it's not, you know, everything. And look at the OnlyFans girls. I mean, you probably know a lot of women that, you know, back in the day, if you were a pretty girl and you had to come to LA,

Starting point is 01:13:14 you're Maxim, Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, FHM. And that was it. You had to get in one of those. Now no one needs those. And now you've got all these influencers doing and making money. So everything has shifted. So I think since 2015, 16, 17,

Starting point is 01:13:31 the business has shifted. And then guys like Mark Wahlberg moved to Vegas. So they're starting to do a whole studio out there. So people are- Make their own things. Yeah, doing their own things. So people are saying like, hey, you don't need to live in LA.

Starting point is 01:13:43 And especially because everyone's in the Zoom world now. You know, no one goes to fucking meetings anymore. I feel bad for people that own office buildings. I mean, think about it. I mean, how big of a nut is that CAA building? You've been in there. It's fucking massive. It's huge in there.

Starting point is 01:14:00 You know how much that is for rent? And the agent's probably like, I don't feel like going in. I'm going to get sick, I'm gonna get sick, or I'm gonna stay home, and they just let them. Look at that. Yeah, and then a lot of new agencies kind of started up when social media started because, or when TikTok and people popped off on Instagram,

Starting point is 01:14:20 they joined groups like Shots, have you heard of them? Mm-mm. Who owned Shots, have you heard of them? Who owned Shots or who started Shots? S-H-O-T-S. But it's the Wild West. But that became like the agency. It was like a new, you know what I'm saying? Because C-A-N, they weren't even on board, you know, different agencies weren't even seeing this sort of thing. You know?

Starting point is 01:14:40 Yeah, so, I mean, you know, Shots Podcast Network. Shots Podcast Network is a company, oh, found about John Chihidi, I didn't know that, and Sam Chihidi, I know these guys. The company was originally founded as a software development company in 2009. In November 2019, Spotify announced a suite of podcasts and included a partnership with Shots podcast network. But yes, groups like Shots became the representatives for a lot of talent. And so they weren't even working with the agents, the original agencies anymore, the big agencies.

Starting point is 01:15:17 Yeah, you know, it's- It's changed. It's completely changed. Yeah, the other day someone was like, do you wanna be in a movie? And I was like, is it going to be 40 seconds long? And is it going to be on TikTok? That's hilarious.

Starting point is 01:15:28 Yeah. Kids can't even watch a movie without taking a pill now, some kids. They're like, mom, give me two pills. I'm going to watch a movie. Give me half a kilo. No, I can't. That's the same with me.

Starting point is 01:15:36 I got to have a pill when I watch my movies too. No, but it's true. You're watching the news, then you're watching your Netflix, then you're on your Instagram, and you're looking at your thing. It's fucked up, but it is the way it is. It's like, he's got us.

Starting point is 01:15:52 Steve Jobs got us. He won, huh? Yeah, he got us. I mean, we're basically, we're this. And it's just the way it is. You know what I mean? And the wildest part, Paulie, I think one thing is that some people for years have been

Starting point is 01:16:07 like, you think we'll live forever. You think it'll be a time where we'll live forever. And now I do, but it's not in the way we think. It's gonna be in a digitized way. It's like, eventually from this episode alone, they'll be able to make a you and a me that can exist in some virtual world where you could talk to us anytime.

Starting point is 01:16:25 This is good, we could be in Japan tomorrow. Oh yeah. This is gonna be so nice. Hey, sayonara. Sayonara. Los Tits, eh, Los Tits. You know, it's about the numbers, it's about the eyeballs, you know, you, Joe, Tony,

Starting point is 01:16:40 Shane Gillis, you know, all these guys, like you fucking tapped into it. You know what I mean? I mean, you don't need all that shit because at the end of the day, everyone's coming after you now. I mean, they see the tickets you're selling. They see the numbers that this is. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:16:54 It's fucking crazy. Like if you wanted to start on your own Theo Von series, like fucking, everybody, what's the guy? Everybody loves Randy or whatever. Yeah, the Randy Redwoods, no, the fucking, what's? Rick Springfield loves Randy or whatever. Yeah, the Randy Redwood, no the fucking. Rick Springfield in it? Who was in it? No, you know what I'm saying.

Starting point is 01:17:11 What the fuck. Everybody loves Raymond? Oh, Tires? No, the guy, no, not, no, no, the guy, with the guy that starred in the Christmas movies. Oh, I know you're talking about, David Quaid? No, Ernest Saves Christmas.

Starting point is 01:17:23 Oh yeah. Yeah, put up Ernest. Ernest Saves Christmas. Oh yeah. Yeah, put up Ernest. Ernest Saves Christmas, you're the next guy. Let me produce these movies, it'll be good. Never to me. Look it, there you go. See, this is what you gotta do. Hey, come on, dude.

Starting point is 01:17:33 This'll be, dude, you're the modern day fuckin' Ernest, bro. No, that guy was a BLM activist, dude. Look at this guy. How great would this be? We could do fuckin Theo saves Christmas. Theo fucking goes to, you know, on vacation. Theo saves $40 too. Chinese, go to his IMDB.

Starting point is 01:17:51 Yeah, here we go. See, we can just take your head out, take your head out and put your fucking, his head out and put your like, what is this? Ernest saves Christmas. Ernest goes to camp. So just change the name. Fucking Theo saves Christmas. Theo goes to jail. Ernest goes to rehab. Oh, just change the name. Fucking Theo saves Christmas.

Starting point is 01:18:05 Theo goes to jail. Ernest goes to rehab, I could do. Ernest goes to detox. Dude, I would do a series of these, bro. That's what I'm saying. Ernest goes to remedial reading. Dude, we can talk to court. Ernest goes to Africa.

Starting point is 01:18:20 Theo goes to Africa. Theo goes to the army. This is you, bro. If Ernest goes to Africa, Ernest goes Africa, Theo goes to the army. This is you bro. If Ernest goes to Africa, Ernest goes to the AIDS clinic, probably. I'm guessing in no offense to Africa, those are rumors and a lot of that's on Reddit. So what do you think? I mean, this is, we can just, can you guys, can you guys Photoshop Theo's head on top of his head? Well, that's the thing, Polly, they're just going to be able to, as long as they license

Starting point is 01:18:41 you or whatever, they can put you in a movie, dude. But yeah, but we got to do it for you. You're hot right now. This could be good. I scroll up to the top Yeah, you don't want to fucking do a David Spade movie do that fucking Theo scared of stupid The air scared and stupid is perfect. I mean you could just do your face Let put his face back up there put his dumb face. Can you do blackface in the future? We don't want to do that here put his face back up there put his dumb face dude. Can you do blackface in the future? No, no, no, no, no, we don't want to do that here put his face back. I'll do look at this wait here We go at least we should be able to do Native American face, right? Yeah, see this guy do this face right here do it Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah

Starting point is 01:19:21 I mean, that's a fucking hit dude. I don't know. What do you mean like you got to do a series of movies? This is great. It's perfect timing. I don't know man go straight to you each week But maybe I don't know I mean the thing about space I notice is like this what I heard about movies It's fun If you're with your friends dude, and if you have to be somewhere stuck somewhere For a while, and it's not your friend, or you wanna sit there every night and have dinner with, then it just seems like it's not as fun, you know?

Starting point is 01:19:50 Yeah, that's why I could never be in that movie, because Dave's in it. Really? We're not friends. Y'all aren't? No, fuck that guy. No, I'm just kidding. No, he's my friend. I met him, you know I met him.

Starting point is 01:20:00 I did a movie with George Burns. No way, from The Gods Must Be Crazy? No, it was called 18 Again. George Burns, you remember George Burns, the actor. way. From the Gods Must Be Crazy? No, it was called 18 Again. George Burns, you remember George Burns? Yeah, from the Gods Must Be Crazy, wasn't he? The old guy here. Put up George Burns, 18 Again, right there. So this is George Burns.

Starting point is 01:20:15 This was my first movie ever. George Burns was a comedian back in the day. Oh yeah, I know he was George Burns. He lived to about 98 years old. Yeah, that guy. So I did this movie. See this guy on the left His name's Charlie Schlatter. Mm-hmm, so I played Charlie Schlatter's best friend in 18 again

Starting point is 01:20:32 Yeah, so that's right I met George Burns and that's what I met David Spade because David Spade was best friends with Charlie Schlatter So I've known David Spade since I was 19 Wow David's oh, I mean how is he always had so much luck with the ladies? Be honest, man. I Don how is he always had so much luck with the ladies be honest, man I Don't know he's sexy. Oh David's a close friend of mine. I think he's handsome He's one of the funniest guys yes, but how did he get so much? I mean there's other there's a lot of guys that are like that not like him. He's special mm-hmm

Starting point is 01:21:00 But how does he the guys you know he's he's yeah, he's good He's like the David Copperfield of straight dudes man. Yeah, he's he's he's a go. He's a gorgeous man. Yeah He's a gorgeous man. Well is that true? I don't know you go see Ernest or put we gotta put Theo goes to school though. Yeah, these guys are fired. Yeah, you know what I'm saying Well, they have one job they left Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, look, they have one job that left Ernest on the thing. I'm joking, I'm joking, man. Oh, put Theo goes to BLM rally too, dude.

Starting point is 01:21:33 I'll fucking roll up at that bitch, dude. I say we do a series of fucking Ernest movies and just change it to Theo and just do the same fucking script. No one's gonna know. The kids aren't gonna remember this fucking guy. Dude, most people can't even see that far. How far can people see usually? What do you mean? I'm just saying, like,

Starting point is 01:21:55 how far can somebody see? What does that mean? The average sight distance for a person with normal vision is about three miles. Get fucked, dude. When standing on a flat surface with their eyes about five feet above the ground that is bullshit. I Thought it was like 70 feet or something Why are you asking this question?

Starting point is 01:22:16 I'm not sure exactly I guess what were you talking about David Spade average read. Oh, whatever man. We'll move it along When Bobby Lee came what was that like when you saw him first because a lot of people you know are like What is it you know? He was just adorable. I mean you remember him. Yeah, I discovered him You know I discovered him. I didn't know you didn't know that I didn't yeah. Yeah, no I found him Where'd you see him at Panda Express? Where'd you see him at? Panda Express. He was getting some orange chicken.

Starting point is 01:22:47 No, I saw him naked at a Korean spa. Oh yeah. No, for real, I saw him at, he's from San Diego. Yeah. It was a restaurant. Petaluma. Yeah, a restaurant called Brockton Villa, and he was like a server there.

Starting point is 01:23:01 And you just saw him. I was there with my mom, I think I was there with my mom, or my brothers or something. And I said, yo, you're fucking hilarious, come to the comedy store. So I got him a gig at the comedy store, he was taking tickets. In La Jolla?

Starting point is 01:23:13 Yeah, in La Jolla, the comedy store there. And you just thought he was funny from the interactions? Yeah, just cause he was adorable. And then he started taking tickets at the La Jolla room and then he started going up on open mic night, and then I would see him down there, and every time I'd come down there and play, I'd kind of put him up in front of me.

Starting point is 01:23:32 And then eventually I took him on the road, and then he became a paid regular at the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas, when my mom was there to see me, and he opened for me at the Riviera hotel in the late 90s and Then and that's what my mom made him a paid regular. She says you're funny can work the store right then yeah, and then Yeah, so I discovered yeah, that's awesome. You did all that for him Yeah, and then he opened for me for eight years

Starting point is 01:23:58 He toured with me for eight years open for me on the bus and the whole thing kind of like Ari Yeah, you know Amir they open for you He just opened for me. We did merch. I got I got videos and fucking chicks. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking great I'm gonna release them on the next time. He's got something coming out, you know, oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, this was guest house Wow, so you guys went through all that together? What was he like then cuz and was he what what ethnicity was he? Cause people were like, what is he? He's Korean. He's not Korean?

Starting point is 01:24:29 I don't know. Bring up Korea. You think he's like, you think he's from like Thailand or something? I don't know, he looks more like Osaka to me or whatever. Huh. But I don't know. Yeah, so, you know, so I've written some scripts with him.

Starting point is 01:24:45 I got a great script called Captured, where I capture him and put him in a cage in my backyard. Oh yeah. And we did this. He's done a lot of stuff with me. He's in Guest House and. Like they're feeding him pine nuts. He's an interesting guy, you know?

Starting point is 01:24:58 Yeah, no. He's one of a kind. Would he sleep all day back then, or was he more of a morning person? Cause he's devolved into a night time. He's awake like five hours a day. You know, it's definitely a very specific style of living. Yeah, he, I don't know, he would hide from me a lot.

Starting point is 01:25:15 He'd always hide from me. One time he cried on the road with me. He cried because I wanted to, it was, we were in Detroit and- That'll do it. And- Sorry, dude. No, no, we were in Detroit and, you know, the road manager gives everyone their

Starting point is 01:25:33 hotel keys, you know, so Bobby goes to his key and I just followed him in his room. And he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm staying with you tonight. You know, I wanna stay with you in the room. And he wasn't into that. And I'm like, no, dude, cause I don't have anyone, I'm lonely.

Starting point is 01:25:47 I don't wanna go back to my room by myself. Yeah, and then he started crying. And then when he cried, I just left. But yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, he's definitely, and the crazy thing about him crying, it's like one tear gets in his eye and it's...

Starting point is 01:26:04 Yeah. Yeah. He's doing great his eye and it's full. He's doing great now too. It's full. But again, I told him, I said, dude, it's gonna happen for you. He was always neurotic. Really? Yeah, well yeah, before his podcast,

Starting point is 01:26:17 he was just trying to figure, he barely was selling out comedy clubs. Wow. You know what I mean? I've always, he's one guy who could never change a word from his set and I would walk every single time. There's just, actually when he walks up, it's already, the setup is already there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:36 And not in a negative way, the setup is already there. Yeah, no, I love Bobby. Bobby is, I'm very close with him. I do see him at the Korean spa sometimes. He gets really fucking freaked out when I go again. Really? Yeah. He showed his butthole to some kids somewhere.

Starting point is 01:26:50 I don't know where that was at. I'm trying to remember. I don't know if there's a video of that. There's definitely a drawing of it. Yeah, but he's a good dude, you know? Oh yeah. Yeah, he's doing good. So everyone's doing, you know who else is doing good?

Starting point is 01:27:03 Hey, Suze Trejo. He's doing, too. He's always been so funny. Yeah, so he opened for me for eight years, too Hey eight years. Yeah a lot of these guys eight years I should fear open for me Rick Ingram open for me all these guys. Yeah, it's cool I love bringing those guys out on yeah, that's one cool thing about the store is just like It's just, I don't know, once you get in there and you make your way through and you've been there for a while and you know who's who and you kind of, you develop your own little relationship

Starting point is 01:27:34 with the space and the people you love to see and people come and go and the people that work there and it's like, it is just such a universe, you know? We're lucky to be able to have a workplace that has a lot of joy and like different people at it. And it's fun. Like a man, you get to go to work and it's actually, you can say what you want.

Starting point is 01:27:53 You're encouraged. There's no real HR. In fact, HR is like, HR is encouraging you to fucking say crazy shit. I never thought about that, man. That's such a crazy blessing, dude. Do you think your mother felt very achieved with her with the comedy club?

Starting point is 01:28:11 Yeah, I mean, she's, you know, and that's, you know, the way that it's still, the way that it's left right now is exactly how she left it, which is awesome. You know, she just put her stamp on it. She's leave it alone, don't fuck with it. And just like the rooms are set up the way they are and different than the Laugh Factor, different than the Improv, different vibes.

Starting point is 01:28:31 Those are great clubs, but she kind of created the black and the red and all that stuff and created that space. Pretty tight, yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't want it to change. Was there ever a chance that it was gonna be sold at some point Um, I don't know. I don't think we would ever sell it. You know what I mean? I think just kind of leave it

Starting point is 01:28:51 it's you know, it's it's gotta be a What's it called a Hollywood or a landmark or what's it called grandfather? What's it called? Oh, yeah, it's like a Historical and yeah historical landmark. Yeah at some point, huh? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's a good point. I remember somebody, I don't know if I saw a drawing somewhere, that a hotel had drawn around it that were gonna build

Starting point is 01:29:14 and leave it intact as is on the ground. That's kinda cool. And build up and just, you know, it was like a 20 story hotel and it would be right under exactly the same. Remember seeing a, somebody had put that together. I don't know if it was an architect, I think it was an architect drawing. I don't know if it was actually considered at one point, but I thought I remembered seeing

Starting point is 01:29:31 that somewhere. What when you look at your life and like maybe having a family, do you have any children? My dog. That's like Scott, your brother has the same, huh? Yes. Got a dog. You know, he's? My dog. That's like Scott, your brother is the same, huh? You have children? Yes, Scott's got a dog, you know, he's got a dog. Yeah, I got a dog. I don't know, I mean, that's a whole other podcast.

Starting point is 01:29:54 That's like a fucking, you know what I mean? No, we'll do it, we'll talk about it. That's like a whole other fucking. That's a good point. You know what I mean? That's a whole, there you go. That's my dog Buster. Oh, that's cute.

Starting point is 01:30:05 Yeah. When you look at guys like Brody Stevens, right? Who have had, who, what a shock was that? Is that, do you feel like things like that happen with suicide amongst comedians and stuff that happens? I mean, Jack Knight, remember Jack Knight? Who is that? Bring up Jack Knight.

Starting point is 01:30:23 Who is he? So funny. Great energy. You remember Jack Knight? Huh. Remember seeing him? Yeah. I think two years ago he took his life. Huh. I mean one of the funniest young men. Heartbreaking. Yeah, sometimes it's hard to get your mind to just fucking relax. You know what I mean? And I think it's important, it sounds kind of corny, but I think it's really important that everyone focuses

Starting point is 01:30:56 on what they have as opposed to what they don't have. And I think that is like the key. You know, like you gotta focus on your blessings, you know, as opposed to, you know. Yeah, cause the other way is a trap, because there's no end to, you can like, focus on what you don't have and try, I mean, I fall into it all the time, you know,

Starting point is 01:31:18 but it's just a, it's such a trap or wanting more, and then not even enjoying, the saddest thing I think is sometimes when I look back on certain moments in my life and I'm like, man, I wish I had enjoyed that a little more. Just by being present or just by sitting there quietly or by... Letting it in. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:31:34 Letting it in. Yeah. And so what are you doing with all your money? I've been saving some money. Some? I mean, fuck, everyone sees the arenas. Like you fucking... They're not arenas, like you fucking Tom Sigura. They're not arenas, dude.

Starting point is 01:31:46 Sigura, fucking Bird. Oh, those guys have been making some money, dude. I mean, what are you, I mean, Jesus Christ, dude. I wouldn't know what to do with that. I mean, it's crazy. Oh, dude. You gotta put it away, bro. Oh, I see.

Starting point is 01:31:58 I mean, you don't spend on yourself, just like me. Yeah. Right? You got a Jeep or? Yeah, I got a Jeep Cherokee. Like, I don't like, I don't know. I've never been that guy either. I felt embarrassed inviting people over. Even having a nice watch or?

Starting point is 01:32:11 To my apartment when I was a kid because I was ashamed of it. And I feel embarrassed sometimes. I have a house in Nashville, it's not a, it's a nice home, I'm not, and it's not like in a state or anything. I'm not, and it's not like an estate or anything. But I feel ashamed even sometimes showing that. It's like, I just, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:32:32 Yeah, I'm trying to rent out my house now too. Oh yeah, it's a beautiful home. Yeah, I'm trying to rent out the house too. With all that, what's that like, terracotta? Yeah, terracotta tile. God. No, just because it's like you said, like I'm just one guy with my dog.

Starting point is 01:32:43 You know, and then I have a condo in Vegas. You know, I kind of- Yeah, you live there a lot. Yeah, I stalk you at the resorts world. So my, I see your poster there all the time. So I, you know, it's right there. So I have like a one bedroom condo and I got all my shit there.

Starting point is 01:32:58 And it feels more comfortable than my house in LA. Because, you know, I'm just one guy. You know, the older you get, the real is the less you need. I don't wanna be that guy that's by himself with his dog in this big house. You know what I mean? So I just don't like living in a big house. It's not who I am.

Starting point is 01:33:17 Yeah, I think some things that are kinda, this is kinda fuckin' emo and sad and is definitely gonna be accused of slight homosexuality. But yeah, like sometimes I'll lay in bed at night and like just the space in my bed, it feels fucking lonesome, you know? But then sometimes if a girl wanted to stay over, I'd be like, I don't know if I like having somebody

Starting point is 01:33:37 stay over. Right. So it's like I just. Yeah. Everything was me. Well, I'll sleep in the other room. Right. Yeah, yeah, no, if a girl stays at night, I'm like, I'm gonna go peace out in the other room. Okay, yeah. Everything was me. Well, I'll sleep in the other room. Yeah, yeah, no, if a girl stays the night,

Starting point is 01:33:46 I'm like, I'm gonna go peace out in the other room. Okay, okay. But when you sleep alone at night, what do you do, how do you sleep? Okay, here's what I do. So first I wash my face, brush my teeth, put in my retainers, put on a Breathe Right strip on my nose, right?

Starting point is 01:34:01 Okay. I want all the other stuff. Is that from all the coke? I don't know what it's from. It could be just from having a big nose. It could be from cocaine. It could be a mix of things. It could be from Satan.

Starting point is 01:34:11 Who knows what happened. So you put the stuff on here. Put the thing on, and then I'll lay down, put a pillow between my legs, get another pillow that I hold onto, set the air conditioner at 69, because I don't want to be too crazy, and then. And then you start 69ing your pillow?

Starting point is 01:34:28 And I'll pee. I will pee right before I go to sleep and hope I don't have to pee all night. That's my goal is to not have to pee all night. And then what about sleep medication? Be honest. Yep. I'll take a couple of Melaton and Chewy's,

Starting point is 01:34:40 and then I'll take, there's a pill from my doctor, it's a... A Xanax? No, no. Ambien? No, it's so light, it's like fucking, it's just basically like, it's like a little queer nugget, I mean this thing wouldn't, it would barely do nothing to it.

Starting point is 01:34:59 And then why is it that you think you need to take the melatonin and this pill from the doctor? Wait, stop. Wait three seconds to answer. Think about it. Why do you have to take that in order to sleep? Is it a psychological thing? Do you really feel like it really mellows you out

Starting point is 01:35:15 or do you think that it mellows you out? I think it mellows me out. Really? And I gotta shut it down. Especially after a show, right? Oh yeah. Fuck. And right now I am, I think I'm 64 days off of masturbation

Starting point is 01:35:29 and 64 days off pornography and 57 days off of masturbation. So then you were doing it a lot? Not a lot, but I had done it for countless years, yeah. Yeah, but back when you were young, even in your 40s, you're jerking off all the time? Really? Yeah. Don't you like to save your cum? I mean, yeah, I like to store up for winter

Starting point is 01:35:48 or whatever, I guess. I don't know, but it's like, I don't. Yeah, because if you're gonna cum with a chick, you want a lot to cum out. I don't know, I don't wanna get crazy, you know? I don't want her to be in like, God, we gotta, you know, you're ruining the curtains or whatever. When you have sex with a girl, do you put a condom on

Starting point is 01:36:00 or she put it on or she tells you to put it on? Look, if people wanna use a condom, we let them use them, you know? Who's we? What the fuck is we? Who we are, your honor? I don't know who we are, okay? Talk to my attorney, right?

Starting point is 01:36:12 And then sometimes you put it in and then they're like, yo, you're having sex with girls without condoms? You're like, oh, what are you talking about? Yeah. Right? That's fucking right. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about either, bro.

Starting point is 01:36:23 That's crazy, dude. That's why this is going don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about either, bro That's why this is going a different way, okay? Um how were your parents separated you remember? We're not going to my fucking parents all of us are you talking about you fucking your pillow? Dude, you remember the first time you ever had sex wait wait wait wait. Let's go back to sleep situation, okay? We're going back to three seconds laying there got all my stuff Oh, and then I'll put stuff in my hair to try and keep my hair healthy. So just like type of copper foam There's like a foam you can get online. What about propisha? I take finasteride. I take propisha Oh, yeah, you can be sure ball when I take the Freelance one or whatever. What's the freelance one? It's the one that you can get out the guys van or whatever down there. Oh, wow

Starting point is 01:37:04 Finasteride. Oh I should get some of it. Is it a pill? It's the same thing you're taking. It's just the generic version. Well you're rich, why don't you get the real Propecia? Yeah but I'm fucking used to just the off-market pills. What about the generic Cialis?

Starting point is 01:37:19 Oh dude, I took the stuff from India for a while. Would make my legs sweat. So the generic Cialis? It was just like an Indian. Do you take the Cialis or the Viagra? It was just that fucking ramp maker from India, baby. That thing will fucking, good Lord, son. Really?

Starting point is 01:37:35 Oh, you could fucking knit a scarf with that thing. That thing will fucking, yeah. What's it called? That thing will whistle for a cab, baby. That thing, it was a website, it went under. It was off this gambling site or whatever, but I used to get them. It would take forever to get the pills.

Starting point is 01:37:51 They'd come in this package and they had like... Do you ever get massages? Yeah. Who's your masseuse? You don't have to tell me the guy's name or the girl's name. It's a man. So yeah, he comes over to the house with a table?

Starting point is 01:38:02 No, no, no, I go to his place. It's off of Westwood Boulevard. Why don't you have him come to your house with a table? No, no, no, I go to his place It's off of Westwood Boulevard money. I'm coming to your house with the table. I got a guy Fuck no, I got a guy. He's great. I don't need some guy to come over and touch me, dude Touching at your house is different than touching out of fucking his his facility who gives a fuck Protestant or something? Yeah, I'd rather at least then I can leave all the ones that they tell the guy to yeah I don't want some guy touching me at my fucking house, dude. Really? No

Starting point is 01:38:30 No, dude, he's a professional masseuse and he just came from David Geffen's house Dude a professional masseuse is just some kind of friend and something off the internet No, I got a guy who's really strong, really strong. Okay, but how about this? And he comes to my house and he has a table and he's coming tonight, because I'm flying to Raleigh tomorrow, so I want to get a little deep tissue before. But you tell me this, say you go look online.

Starting point is 01:38:57 We have, nobody- I don't look online. Okay. I don't look online from a SUSE, there's no way. No, I just get it from a referral. You ask a homie that's like, hey, do you only get my stuff? Oh yeah, this girl, she's really strong, da da da da.

Starting point is 01:39:10 And you ask someone, you just get it that way. You're right. I got a strong guy coming to the house. Okay, okay, you win, dude. Look, I like going to see this guy. I will say this, my guy got me. Where's your house? Where do you live?

Starting point is 01:39:23 I live in Nashville, but in- No, out here. Westwood. So you have a place out in Westwood. I have an apartment in Westwood Yeah, huh, okay. I'll send me your house for me. I'll buy your missus I'll buy a masseuse for you I'll buy them a suits for you and then go do it and then tell me if you fucking like it Okay, and he's strong as fuck is he very strong. I want very strong. I want somebody who just yeah No, he'll get in there. He's fucking good, dude. Okay. I'll do that.

Starting point is 01:39:46 Yeah, for you, my present for you. Really? Yes, because at the end of the day, you're up there on stage, you're traveling, you're making people laugh, you gotta take care of your shoulders. What about the spa? You got the Russian bathhouse or...? But I do start getting steam room now, I do do that. Yeah, so the Korean spa.

Starting point is 01:40:02 I do start getting steam room now and it's good. I went yesterday. Yeah, you have to. I didn't realize I needed to take care of myself. Dude, I do all the time. I go five days a week. Fuck, I didn't know that. Dude, I fucking, it killed me, dude. My hair got thin, all kind of stuff

Starting point is 01:40:16 because I wasn't taking care of myself. I just didn't know. Yes, and in Vegas there's a place called Imperial Spa. Oh, I've heard of that. Yeah, and it's good. It's a Korean spa. But also there's all those spas in the We've heard of that. Yeah, and it's good. It's Korean Spa. But also there's all those spas in the cold plunge and all that shit.

Starting point is 01:40:29 Yeah. You gotta do that. I got a cold plunge at home. My friend makes a good cold plunge and he gave me one as a gift. And he was my first sponsor ever on my podcast. He used to own a pizza place here. Oh wow.

Starting point is 01:40:40 My friend Thomas used to run a place called Grey Block Pizza and then he moved to Bend, Oregon and started making a- Cold plunges? Cold plung moved to Bend, Oregon and started making cold plunges. Yeah, out there with his buddies, beautiful. Yeah, because it's all about sweating. What about the workout? What do you do with that? I get a trainer, like two days a week

Starting point is 01:40:56 and then I'll go myself probably one or two days a week. I'll do a little bit of yoga too. Stretch lab, do you go to get stretched? No, I do my own yoga. That's good. Chiropractor? No, but I need to go this morning. I was looking? No, I do my own yoga. That's good. Chiropractor? No, but I need to go this morning. I was looking at myself. I got a good chiropractor out here too.

Starting point is 01:41:10 Really? Really good. I was looking at my body in the mirror. I was like, Jesus, what is that? You're crooked? It just seemed like it was like fucking... Like it was like... Yeah. You gotta do that shit.

Starting point is 01:41:21 My whole body was like, you just wasn't sure. And dude, you know what? I'm like 10 years older than you. So it's like, you know, this is the age where you gotta start stretching. Yeah, that's the most important thing, and sweating. Yeah, do it all. Yeah, I'm starting to learn a little bit more of that. Now you can only get kind of so famous, right?

Starting point is 01:41:39 Like fame is different now. It feels like everybody's pretty popular, kind of. Everybody is, yeah. Because there's so much stuff to see quickly. It used to be you had to go see a movie and then those people would be famous. But now, in the time it would take you to watch a movie, you can look at 200 different people

Starting point is 01:41:56 and all of them have a level of achievement to you. Do you feel like you got fame at the best time? Yeah, I mean, I think it was the last great decade of it. I mean, if you look at the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, they was all kind of similar. And then once reality shows hit, you know, the real world, I think that was like the first reality show, which was in like in the mid 90s.

Starting point is 01:42:19 I think that's when things got fucked up. Yeah, no, it was, you know, it was pretty. Yeah, that's so crazy. You know? Like did you ever get to party with like Michael Jackson? No, I met him once. You did? Yeah, I met him once, but it wasn't like we hung out.

Starting point is 01:42:38 It was just like a hi type thing. But I mean, back in the MTV days, I met a lot of, you know. But do you remember the sound of his voice or anything or no? Hi. Hi, what's going on? Hi, Paulie, I like your music video show. It's very cute. Really?

Starting point is 01:42:51 Yeah. He was fucking amazing. Yeah. I mean, god. Yeah, he was like. How'd you meeting him? You know, you look at guys like Bruno Mars, super talented. Right.

Starting point is 01:43:01 But not Michael Jackson. Yeah. Or Prince. You know, these guys were like, you know, another level, yeah. And they had a level of mystery, and it was like, talented, but not Michael Jackson or Prince. These guys were like another level, yeah. And they had a level of mystery and it was like, yeah. Yeah, there was just so much, I don't know. But also MTV was the biggest thing in the world. Yeah, it was the biggest thing in the world.

Starting point is 01:43:20 It was the only thing between- That kids watched, yeah. Oh, you're watching MTV? Come over, let's watch MTV. Yeah, let's watch MTV. You'd be crazy. Remember TRL? Oh yeah, Total Request Live.

Starting point is 01:43:31 Yeah. And who was the host on it? Carson Daly, yeah. Carson Daly, dude. Yeah, and he would toss to like Britney Spears or Korn, Limp Bizkit, you know. Wyclef. Yeah, this was like one of the last great heiress here. Wow. Britney Spears, you ever get to party with her?

Starting point is 01:43:47 Huh, not really. No, not really. She's in her own thing. She did steal my table recently in Las Vegas. Oh, she showed up at a club? Oh no, I was having dinner at Catch in Vegas over at the Aria. And I went to the bathroom, and then she fucking, I guess, she hits some security guy, and then she went in, and then I come back to my fucking table, and she's sitting at my table.

Starting point is 01:44:17 By herself? No, she's with her boyfriend or husband or... Here, look at this right here. She keeps getting different husbands or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, look she touches this guy, the security hits her in the face. Wow.

Starting point is 01:44:32 Yeah. Maybe one more time. And then she runs into the catch, and I didn't care, you know what I mean? It's not like I'm, get out of my table. But she ran into catch because she was probably embarrassed. Yeah, and she went in there and I didn't care, you know what I mean? It's not like I'm, get out of my table. But she ran to catch cause she was probably embarrassed. Yeah, and she went in there and I was like, all right, just give me my fanny pack.

Starting point is 01:44:50 You can have the table, I don't care. And did she say anything or no? She said, sorry, it's all good. Wasn't a big deal. Um, was she, how did she seem, okay? She seemed buzzed. Yeah. You know, but she's from where you're from.

Starting point is 01:45:04 Oh dude, you can get buzzed down there. Right? Oh, just looking at your cousin, yeah, gets you hard, or not hard, buzzed, I meant. Yeah, no, no, down in Louisiana. There's no comedy clubs in Louisiana. Isn't that crazy? Do you remember there used to be the Baton Rouge Funny Bone?

Starting point is 01:45:18 Did you ever go to it? Yes. Bro, that place had a strip club across the street. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we used to do comedy down there back in the day. I played a lot of clubs back there, back in the 90s. New Orleans didn't even have a club. The what?

Starting point is 01:45:31 New Orleans doesn't have a comedy club. This is where it was, oh, across the street. Oh, wow. Right there, that was it. The Funny Bone, baby, Baton Rouge Funny Bone. And Rest In Peace. Is that the strip club, the penthouse? That's hilarious. Yeah, that was it. and rest in peace. Is that the strip club, the penthouse? That's hilarious.

Starting point is 01:45:47 That was it. Oh my God. Danny, I'm Bennington Ave, baby. That's where I got my start, right over there. Yeah. And then, yeah, dude, what happened to me? I went to the store, I was on the porch one time, right? Getting a beer, I was just coming out here

Starting point is 01:46:03 and Tommy comes out. He's like well Haven't seen you in a while And I've never been there. I think you had me confused. Oh, that's fucking hilarious. He's like why don't you come in tomorrow? I'll give you a spot Like all right, what year was this? Shit, I don't even know 2017 maybe mmm. No, all right, fuck. What year was this? Shit, I don't even know, 2017 maybe? No, no, that's insane. No, 2007.

Starting point is 01:46:30 Yes, yeah, years. Sorry, dude, what the fuck? 17. My calendar's broken. Pauly Shore. Yeah, man, I'm glad we got to sit down finally. Me too, I would love to talk again about we'll talk about the relationships one day. Yeah, because I think we're similar.

Starting point is 01:46:45 There's like a lot, it's tough. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, and there's also something nice about being alone, you know, and having that space. Yeah, and that grows over time too. Mm. Yeah, you know, and you always, you know,

Starting point is 01:46:59 you always get people asking the same thing, which is what you asked me, do you want kids? And there's like a long pause, and is what you ask me, do you want kids? And there's like a long pause. And like, you're with the right situation, I think I would. I'd be a good dad, I know I'd be a good dad. And everyone says that to me. You know, cause I love my,

Starting point is 01:47:16 not to compare my dog to a kid, but I treat my dog great and I love being with him and I feel like it's my kid. You know, so. Yeah, and then also another thing is like, my parents are deceased and I don being with them and I feel like it's my kid. You know, so, yeah. And then also another thing is like my parents are deceased and I don't have that. So it's like, you know, so you start a new life,

Starting point is 01:47:31 you know, cause I'm an orphan, you know? You know, and I wanna, you know, start a new life and look at my next 20, 30 years and I think it'd be cool to have a kid, you know? But again, like it's gotta be, you know. It's gotta be very exciting. And make them laugh, dude, that would be cool. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:46 Make your kid laugh all the time. Or what if they don't even laugh at your jokes, you're like damn, my kid's the worst audience member. Hilarious, that'd be even funnier. That would be fucking funnier. Gosh. Yeah, it would be really nice, man. It would be really, really nice.

Starting point is 01:47:59 It's tough though, because I think as a comedian, part of you is still a kid in some ways. You know, I think it's a part of that that we don't let go of. And it's, so for some of us, or for me for sure, it's... Is your parents still with us? It's tough to evolve. Yeah, my mother's still alive. And your dad?

Starting point is 01:48:15 And my dad is dead, but he'd be alive if he could. And then you have brothers and sisters? Yeah, I got three brothers and sisters. They've all had children. Or two of them have had kids. So there's been kids. It's fun. Being an uncle's great. So then, yeah, I saw you on your sisters. They've all had children or two of them. Okay, so how's that kids? It's fun being uncles Great. So then yeah, I saw you on your Instagram when you were home with them. Yeah, we had a blast Do you have nieces and nephews? Yes, I do. Oh good. Yeah. Yeah, Peter has some children. Yep. Oh, that's cool. Yeah So, um, yeah, it's cool. We'll see

Starting point is 01:48:40 But anyways, it's possible Paulie Thank you so much, dude. I really appreciate it. Can I plug my stuff real quick? Yeah, let's do it. We'll plug it at the beginning for you too. What is it? It's my podcast.

Starting point is 01:48:51 It's called the PMS Podcast Show. Love to have you on it. It's over at Jam in the Van. Oh yeah, I like it over there. Which is awesome. And then I have my one-man show called Stick with the Dancing, which is in the Richard Simmons biopic, of course. We're going to be doing that as well.

Starting point is 01:49:04 That video is so impressive. If you haven't gotten a chance to see it, we played a little bit of biopic, of course. We're gonna be doing that as well. That video is so impressive. If you haven't gotten a chance to see it, we played a little bit of it here, but... Court gesture, yeah. God, it's amazing, dude. Thank you. Yeah, and best of all, that's cool, man. Congratulations, dude, on staying creative.

Starting point is 01:49:16 And just on your propensity to be hopeful and positive for other people, that's really, it's a nice gift to have, you know? Yeah, and then also, just so you know, I didn't say this, but we sleep the same I do the same thing pillow between my legs 69 degrees Shit in my hair stuff on my eyes. You know seeming in my you know right here. That's good You forgot that Chinese Chinese But up up up later do Chinese! Chinese! Later dudes! My mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little

This Past Weekend - E519 Pauly Shore

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.