This Past Weekend - Mike Posner | This Past Weekend #241

Episode Date: October 31, 2019

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_    Theo sits down with Mike Posner to talk about Mike’s walk across America, what inspired him to start the journey, and overcoming the obstacles and false finish lines along the way.   Mike Posner https://instagram.com/mikeposner   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   This episode brought to you by   Figs Visit https://wearfigs.com and use code THEO to receive 15% off your first order   Uncommon Apothecary Visit https://ua-cbd.com and use promo code THEO15 to receive 15% off your order   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Find Theo   Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Music   “Shine” - Bishop Gunn  http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon  Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Bmayer Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brandon Woolsey Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Anderson Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dan Draper Dan Perdue Danny Crook David Christopher David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Doug C Dusty Baker Eric Tobey Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter James Schneider Jameson Flood Jayme Sta Jeffrey Lusero Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Joakim Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaylyn Dudich Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Lawrence Abinosa Lea Rashka Leighton Fields Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Noah Bissell NYCWendy1 OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Sagar Jha Sean Scott Shane Pacheco Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Taryn Feingold Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Tito Liebowitz Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Vanessa Amaya Victor I tuck back and sit down to pee Johnson II Vince Gonsalves Vlog Master William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Colorado and I met this guy named Stevie and he's running across America the opposite way Right and we cross is a beautiful day. He actually I mean God God bless Stevie But he turned around and walked the wrong way to talk with me all day. Wow. I wouldn't have done that I love Stevie, but I'm not going east bro. Keep it. Sorry, bro Sorry, dude Were you guys like grilling out in the evening doing any fresh veggies or did you have a Yeah, like a certain caloric intake. Yeah, a stupid one. Really? Yeah, I was wearing this thing this whooping at the beginning I lost the battery for it halfway through, but it would basically tell me my output caloric output

So we're just trying to match it at the beginning It was a it was spitting out crazy. No like 8,000 10,000 but um, I think NASA kind of I think as I as I walk more at my I started getting more used to it and I was eating a little less but yeah, just eating a lot of food man and Man you had to stop and shit a lot too because you're eating so much. Yeah I guess you got a lot of shit in your body. That was the worst part not the worst part But I just I a lot of times be like just pooping on the side of her like man

I want to keep walking but it's like I hate that I gotta stop again I can't poop if I see broken glass near me, you know, so I think some of that kind of outdoor kind of stuff I don't have as much strength when it comes to that why broken glass. Oh, it makes me nervous dude Why not? You know what I'm saying from not letting my asshole open up it You know I'm saying like I'm no Roman warrior, but I know that you know Mike thanks for being here today man Yeah, so you have and you have two of your buddies that are here today, too I just want you I want to acknowledge them. I want to acknowledge them too. Yeah, man

We let us know just let the listeners know who they are in case they hear some Yeah, my buddy Julian's here who was one of my walk managers basically I walk supported which means that I wasn't backpacking as I walked we had support vehicle that Julian drove and and He basically sort out a lot of navigation and the food basically all had to do was the miles Wow, I didn't have to carry everything on my back And I always try to make that clear because there are people out there right now and every year who do it unsupported

Is there beef is there a lot of street beef between people? No, mostly everyone's very Very supportive of each other every once in a while I got a little bit I think you know just because I was more you know, I was more a public figure when I started So I think a few people kind of get there their feathers ruffled, but that's like 1% most of the people are just really supportive of each other and So Julian when he would take turns there's another guy calling basically Julian go home for a few months and call him come they'd switch on and off Wow That's amazing to have that much support

We were talking about it when you were in the restroom But just to have that much like yet have somebody that's just so patient to be there They use the best man. He never really got Flustered or nothing just would you get pretty flustered and I'm like would it be the end of a day and you're like Yeah, sometimes you just tired at the end of the day. Yeah, but I'm like I Go up and down, you know, I go up and down for sure sometimes, you know, I'm like bouncing off the walls I'd be very goofy guy. Yeah other times like a dog in me, too, you know, that's like the sports guy Okay, let's fucking get it and it's I'm not fucking around. Yeah, that guy comes out

And so and then it's everything in between and that's like you I might touch both of those two three times and during the day Yeah, I noticed you said like yeah, you taking the calories and And you would start to learn. Okay. I have this input and this output, you know, that's you were kind of monitoring in the beginning Did you start to feel like a like a machine? I mean it the total you went 2800 miles In the beginning did you feel more like a human and by the end did you feel like more like a machine or did your humanity kind of Grow I know that's kind of a big question, but it just had me kind of thinking about that. No, it was more the second one It just became my normal life. You know, it's just what we do Wake up 5 a.m. And excuse me wake up 4 a.m. Walk it at 5 and

And when you guys do it for a pre pre walk before the walk or any like jog or anything before to like get heated up the first thing I do at 4 is I meditate for 20 30 minutes and then Julie you have like a little fruit out, you know, I have a couple of a couple bananas a subpoena butter Okay, throw that throw that down the hole and and then I that Filipino Thanksgiving We have a lot of Filipino listeners to man beautiful and You know, I just stretch out a little bit and then I just try to get out the door as soon as possible That's really because it's seasonal, you know, you're walking in the summer

You know, you got to get those miles in before, you know, it's 3 p.m. And it's 95 with 95% humidity. You want to you want to already have 20 done then you don't want to be on mile 8 then, you know Yeah, wow. So whether some days where you started late and you're like, man, you got in a jam Like it was that something you kind of learned early like how to The learning curve must have been pretty pretty steep, huh? Yeah, I figured it out, you know It just would just work best for me. I think there's other guys I talked to that either running or walking across and Uh, they have more of a loosey-goosey thing where they would Um, and I don't use that in a bad way. They're just able to wake up and kind of do what they felt like doing that day

But I don't really work that way. Um I gotta wake up the same time every day. We got a had a rule on the walk. No snooze button. No snooze button No snooze nation brought us pray Yeah, that's a p. Diddy quote. Yeah, he says two types of people in the world Those that hit the snooze and those that don't and then there's this David Goggins quote I love about he said you don't hit the snooze button because if you do you wake up already failing Damn, and uh, it's just it's just real. So that thing would go off, you know for in the morning and I never wanted to wake up and walk zero days that I go. Oh, yeah

4am let's get none But the big part of me, you know, the big part of me that I actually wanted to Right to accomplish this goal that you know got me got my ass out of bed every day and uh I thought you know when I sat out in this while I was gonna have kind of like a A hippie-dippy free flowing walk across America I meet you meet somebody and I stay there in their town or four or five days catch the vibe But I start this thing, you know at the beginning

I think I couldn't walk as many miles as I could at the end obviously so the first day I only walked eight miles, you know on the second day. I think I got 10 or something like that Yeah, I'll start doing the math and the whole thing, you know the whole The whole like scheduling navigational part is really based around the mountain ranges You don't want to be in the Rocky Mountains In winter right your fucks. Yeah, so I'm starting to do the math Yeah, you're gonna write one of those books where you die at the end like is that boy? Well somebody else is gonna write that book. Yeah, Chris McCandless or whatever

I don't know who you're talking about. He ate some bad berries or something fruit at the end. Oh, he talked about the incident a while Yeah, so at least you got you only when covering your fruit, you know, I'm saying tasting your fruit for your first in the morning And if he's still alive at 615, you're like, well, let's fucking rock, bro Because that boy died at some bad berries or something, but that's right. That's right question So I don't forget. Did you have a music that was on your alarm every day that you would wake up to? Was it just uh, no, it's just my watch. Oh, it's your watch. It's just a watch alarm. Yeah, right? Yeah, well, it's interesting, you know, when I first started the walk Because I was removed from

Basically all my friends and family I noticed I was actually on my phone more You know, I always thought like I'll be out in nature and then you're lo and behold. I'm out walking across America walking across New Jersey and Pennsylvania And I'm on my phone like all the time like I'm taking pictures of every fucking flower and Put them on instagram all this shit and realize like I don't know a couple weeks in or a month in like what the fuck you doing, dude Yeah, like you could play on your phone anywhere man. You're missing. Yeah started to cut back even if we look at your charlotte on the post, I mean, we have your, um, you know, uh, mike posner.com and it's

It shows your your walk across and the path that you took. Yeah It shows where you had social media posts and there's a lot in the beginning and then the second half it's An eighth as much it looks like But I mean, it's interesting. Yes, something happened in there where you're like, oh man, I'm Well, I started off. Yeah, just realizing I was fucking missing it. I was only too much and then uh Um, I was in colorado and I met this guy named stevie And he's running across america the opposite way Right and we cross it's a beautiful day and he actually

I mean god god bless stevie, but He turned around and walked the wrong way to Talk with me all day. Oh, wow. I wouldn't have done. I love stevie, but bro. I'm not going east, bro. Sorry, bro Sorry, dude Yeah, bro, so have your east stevie So he walked east stevie, dude We didn't mess up with that guy. He walked. He walked my way. I like that growing up, dude. This boy is shamed. He would only go one direction. Yeah. Yeah, that was his own thing. Which way? Which direction? It was kind of like that

but uh Every time you saw him, dude, he was coming at an angle and he walked shoulder-first like he was a shark This dude was baffling, bro But you would see him you'd just be hanging out around town and you'd fucking see shane go by, bro Fucking one direction shane shoulder-first, dude out of control Yeah, just looking for I don't know what he was looking for dude pirate ships I don't know what he was looking for a fucking hot current

That dude was like he was almost like he was caught in an air current just fucking cruise in the world But uh, I don't know what happened to him something. I think something happened to him He left school once and never came home He was shoulder-first boy, you know, I'm saying that human shark, bro He just moved it Was it hard to start to separate yourself from from social media? I mean because there's There's this must be weeks where you don't do a post where you don't have a social media post I actually don't know if that's exactly what the fuck those stars mean. I don't I'm not sure

But no, I would definitely became less like you're saying I would uh, I stopped using my phone when I was walking So anyway, I met Stevie. Here's the thing. I met Stevie and this guy blew at the time I'm walking supported 24 miles a day And he is running Unsupported 30 to 40 miles per day And not only that he looks at me. He goes. Yeah, man I didn't bring headphones on purpose because I wanted to I wanted to face all my demons and just be there

And so basically the two days after I met him. I got bit by a rattlesnake And I thought it wasn't a big deal. I thought I was going to get the antiven and I'd be back walking the next day Turns out it's a bigger deal. I thought I was in the ICU. I'm in the hospital five days Takes me three weeks to get back I start up at my spot that I got bit at did you walk out to the same exact same exact spot Julian took me there man. I was scared. I was scared Yeah, what was that like having to commit was what happened during that three weeks? That was I mean I've definitely went back and saw some posts and stuff, but what was um

Was I saw one post you were talking about how comfortable it was almost to be back in like especially a hospital Like I love surgery. I love things where they're taking care of you and somebody's coming in and you know, it's lunch time It's valium. It's Thursday It's whatever, you know, it's like you it's just so much care for you in like a It in a medical environment, you know, there's the nurses. There's just constant care and it feels good um, and I saw you uh talk about where Yeah, it was like almost hard to let some of that, you know, it was like you were back into this real for sure The real small part of me, you know, you gotta understand at the time I got bit by that snake. I'm walking

Pretty much eight hours a day completely alone Sweating it out, you know, it's early august And shit was fucking hard man. I couldn't really sleep because it was so hot and so And my feet felt like they were fucking broken, you know, I wake up in the morning stand up And it just felt terrible. You know, like I could barely stand up some days Was it the muscles the bone are you getting worn down like? blister it turns out it was blisters too, but it turns out

It was just the muscles. They were just soaring away. I'd never even fucking wrapped my head around But but at the time I thought they were broken I thought I was gonna finish and I'd go to the doctor and be like he's gonna be like, dude We gotta fix your feet, you know, but it was really I was kind of a bitch and I just hadn't felt that kind of soreness and pain yet and um Basically, yeah, I went to the hospital and People I say man was at the hardest day or walk. It's like no, I wasn't even close man because

They got me there and You're right. I was now out of the heat. I'm in air conditioning. I'm now I'm not alone anymore. I got Actually female nurses around, you know, and like doctors, you know, just making sure I'm cool and You know, you want something to eat you just hit a buzzer. They bring this shit into you. That sounds very staked You feel me, dude God man and meanwhile, you know, like online. They're they're this is outpouring of sympathy and support Oh, it's a way out even if you want it. Oh, fuck. Yeah, fuck. Yeah You're like, damn. I couldn't have hired a snake to come out

Julian's been training the snake for two months in the van And finally he lets that bastard out So, you know, the the the weak part of me the little meat he wants to stay there Wow wants to stay getting all that attention that nice food that air conditioning nice bed. I don't have to get up at 4 a.m all that feels good and and It's very easy. I felt it even in myself a little bit falling into kind of trying to milk it And you're staying you're staying in that spot and that's that's what playing the victim is Yeah, you know, you're you're actually creating suffering or making up suffering. That's not really there

Mm-hmm in order to get attention basically to get sympathy to have an excuse and I had to just Have a talk with myself, you know, the big me had to talk to the little me and say look You're you're getting better motherfucker. You need to go finish what you started and um, you know, the good thing is when I started this you do something like this and really you do anything worthwhile in life The shit's gonna be hard as you know to get where you're sitting right now. It wasn't easy. Yeah, you know had to work a lot Yeah, how much how many times you had to fail and stuff to be have what you've got now A bajillion a lot. Yeah, and so the thing is you have to have a no matter what

Clause in any contract you you got with yourself Well, I think it's just interesting you're able to have that conversation with yourself, you know I've heard you say it a couple times the little me And uh, that's right and we struggle with that. I struggle with that kind of stuff a lot, you know, like the first part of me Not wanting to be not being strong enough not wanting to you know, not being brave enough or not Thinking that I can or wanting to take the easy way out, you know And and then of to to to just try and get this bigger picture Um, you know and just tools to say look, you know, like, uh

You know, you you know, um, you got to move, you know, you got to get going like you got to there's this there's this This little speed bump in the beginning and if you can get over that then it's really It's a lot different. It's that bigger picture. You know, but that little speed bump is so Powerful a lot of times man. Yeah, if you see that you can have this bigger you that's talking to this little you Um, yeah, man. I can I can just totally relate to that, you know, yeah And a lot of times, you know to be more accurate I didn't I didn't really have to talk to myself in that moment because When I started

I had decided I was going to walk across america. Yeah, anybody can say that shit But and that's what I would say publicly, but what I would say to myself is I'm going to walk across america. No matter what No matter what so what's that mean? I have I played this shit out in my head If I break my leg out here I'm going to let that mother heal And I'm going to go to the spot where I broke my leg and I'm going to finish

I already I had already Digitalized that, you know, I already decided that so when this snake thing happened I didn't have to have a conversation with myself. I have to decide, you know Hey, I'm going to go back. I knew right. I'm going back, you know, and um And it helps, you know, I had a lot of support too. My homie chad is here too. You know, sometimes I would call him Uh, be like dude my feet feel Awful

And he'd be like He'd go. Yeah, motherfucker. They're supposed to You know Remember you're walking across america. Like like That's what you signed up for and so you start reorient yourself. You ain't at the footlocker, bro You're supposed to feel pretty uh, uh uncamped these these That's the wrong adjective, dude

Unc- that sounds like my my toenails are long and I got fucking hairy feet or some fungus dude Oh, I don't know what adjectives are so I can't Dude, no, it's like You start to you start to reorient yourself around this hardship because most of my life But basically my whole life 30 years before I went on this walk It was oriented around making it more comfortable. Hmm and uh

Just like a bunch of bullshit, you know, it's like, hey, you know, maybe if I play This game a little better. I'll get a little I'll move from this neighborhood in west hollywood to this neighborhood in the Fucking hollywood hills and instead of this I'll date this person and then I'll feel better and I'll sort of zoom out on my life and realize I'm just I'm playing in a fucking sandbox right now. Yeah, and I'm going. Hey that that toy that he has over there looks nice

Let me try it. Let me try that one out. You know, oh, that's toy. It's cool. Let me try this toy out and I was wasting my life and uh I was doing quote what I was supposed to do right. I was finishing my albums and I and don't get me wrong I love all my my music It's my heart. Mm-hmm, but my life was sort of designed By a 21 year old me trying to break in the la and become famous And I'm 31 and I'm living the same fucking lifestyle, right? And so there's this there's this

In congruency between who I am now And the life I'm living and the yeah and the channel that you're kind of still like kind of wandering And there's nobody's fault but me It's nobody's fault but mine and there is no one that's going to bring those two things Into congruency, but me, right? I'll call my manager. He's gonna tell me go back on tour. I love my manager Right, but that's his job. That's his job. He's gonna say You finished the album. We got support down going to her. You finished the tour. Let's get another album, right? And he never said those words now, but no, but that's their job and that's what they're supposed to do

Correct, and that's what I was supposed to do right, but I'll slowly slowly realize I'm I'm living Someone else's life You know and that fucking that thing fucking sneaks up on your ass, man Man, it's so fun. It's up on you. It's not it's it's not something like come to god moment or anything It's like you just it's just you slowly realize man. What I really want to do is this walk and I'm not doing it. I put it off for five years. Wow because

Something always came up. I had an excuse each year and you got you got to start the thing in spring for what we talked about Oh, right. So yeah, Rocky. So every spring I something would come up and You know, then I then I go out on the walk, right? Step one take one step So I do it. I'm out there and as I'm going I meet a lot of people And nice people good people and they come up to me. They say hey, you know what you're doing is very inspiring I'll say thank you and they say, you know, I really like to do something like that one day

Mm-hmm, but right now I don't have enough time or I don't have enough money or I'm too old or

I'm too young I heard all I heard. Yo, that's insane, bro. You gotta I'm walking through a middle school. I mean you gotta walk around I mean these like, you know, they I know I mean, but they be college kids. No 100% And they think yeah, I can do it later. They feel so much pressure to go get it Go get a good job and be successful right away I'm telling you I'm either 18 or tell me yeah, man. I'm just too young This shit happened in real life and I'm sitting there like what the fuck are you talking about? And it's not about walking across America. Fuck that. That's my that was my dream, right?

But whatever that thing is for you, you know, 95 percent of people listening to this 95 percent of people I meet They got a thing like that and it's not it doesn't have to be a drop everything quit my job Doesn't have to be that it's just a thing that you know You want to do you are called to do and you have an excuse Why you're not fucking doing it right now. You don't have an excuse you have a reason I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. Whatever it is You have an excuse wearing a reason as a cape. That's what it is and that's my contention to to your listeners Whatever that thing is where it's starting the business or whether it's hitting the gym

I don't give a fuck what it is and don't Don't copy my dream right fuck you man. That's my dream. Yeah Whatever your thing is and your your reason for not doing it. That's exactly right what you said Really look at it look in the mirror That reason I can almost guarantee you as a fucking excuse Yeah, and it's just your cop out for not living your life or taking the easy way out and uh, amen We're gonna die

You know, it's like a few years ago. My dad died and my uh, my collaborator Avicii. He died Uh, it's from my peer guys through shows with mac miller. He died in february one of my friends I grew up with Ronnie died and it's like hey man You know, I'm living healthy. Hopefully it's no time soon, but You're gonna die one day too. Yeah, and uh, you could either live your life before that happens or not. It's up to you man Yeah, it's uh Was did did some of that that death that came in your life is that do you feel like that was kind of some of the stuff that That really threw the gas on you know, you said it had been a few years where you kind of you know

Something had come up around the spring time and um What was it you think that was that last thing was it that you'd already told so many people you were gonna do this walk? Like how did that all kind of where it's like, okay, I gotta Take this step. There was a couple things really one was Avicii when he died um, I Sound weird to say this, but there's something beautiful about death If you haven't been around or had a close one die, you will soon

um, and each time that happens I feel like there's this like For me about it's about two weeks there where all the bullshit Traps at mind games, and I'm usually in they fade out and I can see what's actually important to me You know, it's almost like other people when they do die or whatever the the thing that permeates from them is this Value of existence that's really hits the rest of us pretty severe. Yeah, that's exactly right

I think I think it's just that reminds you of your own mortality and and and I I really believe When you acknowledge you're gonna have a death you can start to live a good life and so The thing is I should always like it only lasts for like a few weeks for me. Yeah go away. I start to just get caught up in bullshit and uh And so yeah when Avicii died or it was a big it was a big reminder and I remember just thinking like man I got it going. Well, I actually wanted to go like Immediate, but I didn't have anything prepared enough. This was like, all right, dude. Wait till the spring

That's when you do it the right way until Julian can tell his mom. He's going out of town. You got to plan a little bit But go you gotta plan a lot. You gotta plan a lot, huh? You gotta plan a lot. You gotta plan a lot So funny with that mortality man. It's so funny how uh Yeah, it's so funny when I had a buddy that passed away a couple weeks ago. He he died of addiction my friend Tommy and I'm sorry for your loss. Yeah, thanks, man. And he was a beautiful dude, man, and he uh But yeah, we went to his service and it was just like Man, if he could be doing anything he would just be alive. That's it. You know, that's the first thing he would be you know, and it's like it's so hard to get a ration to get like a

Make your life feel tangible to you sometimes as we get older, you know, when you're young it feels like so I mean, you don't really have that much of a concept magical, but it feels magical. Yes. It's a sense of awe. Yes awe sense of awe man, and then we get older and it's almost like we get so much in these grooves of society and of of life that it's hard to get it back to a level where it feels like Tangible, you know where it feels um Where you feel alive And not just kind of part of what's going on. That's right. That's right. Um, did you have I can imagine you probably had a lot of Experiences of feeling alive on this on this journey. It was as you as you're talking it was like

You know reminded me that was that was Why I left, you know, that's why I pulled the trigger on this thing. It was like uh A friend of mine said man, so he starts doing the math and he's thinking about my career all stuff He's looking, you know, he's gonna take you six months to a year and he says to me So you basically giving up a year of your life to do this I don't know. I thought about for a second. I got I'm basically taking one back

I'm giving up nothing, you know, then now I'm now I'm claiming some sovereignty. I'm getting out of those grooves You're you're just talking about. Yeah. So I'm setting my grounds here. I am myself It's just cool, you know, when I can boil down, you know, that's that's pretty powerful man to think about that Of taking your life back. That's right. You know, I can boil down There's a lot of reasons why I walked, you know, some of them are small some are big Some of them are shitty reasons like one small reason is I wanted to fucking tension from it I'm not proud. That's a character flaw, right? Right, but I'll try to be real about it But the main reason I went out if I can really put I couldn't even articulate this before I left it

I had to do the fucking thing to be able to say it is I wanted to become somebody That I was actually proud of so I want if somebody said, you know Who inspires you? Who's your hero? Who you look up to? I wanted to be able to look him in the eye and say me You know and uh

Say yourself was yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, but but I'm creating this dude in my head like that dude. He walked across America So he's an idea and I go try to become him in real life and um This is just my idea. It's like creating a life that actually inspires you Right, you know, it's like you're go my goal shouldn't be something that like It's that like isn't as far isn't cool to me right like this walk You know, it's fucking cool. It's a little less cool to me now. Honestly now. I've done it I met all these people that done it like in more badass ways and faster just to be totally honest

But like it just inspired me the whole way, you know, it's dope. I other people I told about they're like, dude You're an idiot. You are a crazy white person. Yeah Yeah, and I get that but this is not about you. It's about me and my life right and I had to send it man in this journey for me. I had to do it That's right. Um, were you amazed at some of the feelings that started that like Some of the reasoning you did it started to become more clear after you started like was that kind of fascinating to you Where you're like, holy shit if I didn't even started on this I would have never gotten to some of these feelings and revelations and stuff for myself because I couldn't even

See them before. Yeah. I mean, I felt like uh, I still do feel like a completely different person You know, I was a guy even if I look at interviews of myself before Well, it's kind of like sometimes I won't punch the dude guy in the face. You know, it's like um, that's wild I don't even I don't even know if other people could see it, but I can see it. Right. I was uh, I was more I would like if you were saying some stuff. I didn't really agree with I'd be like, yeah I mean, I would just fucking agree with you. I was more I was less Real less authentic more afraid of conflict um

Man, just just like not as not as good a person I feel like and I thought I was gonna become I talked earlier. I thought I was gonna have this like kind of hippie-dippy walk And I was I thought I was gonna become like softer, but the opposite happened. I had to tap in the Like discipline and focus every day. You know, I became harder Became harder as a person was there. Um Yeah, were there Were you surprised that some of the toughness that was in you like what did you ever kind of like did you have some moments where? I could see imagine having some moments like Jesus Christ, man. I didn't know

Because I feel like for me. I always hope that there's certain There's a certain person inside of me that I don't get to see that much, you know, there's like a power There's like, you know, someone that's extremely confident and very powerful and like Did were you amazed sometimes? Did the did the people that you didn't know parts of yourself that you didn't know Did it did they come to the surface sometime? Yeah, a hundred percent, you know, it was like awesome, man So here's the thing man Imagine you never even noticed swimming up to the fucking surface like hey, Mike. What up? I'm in here too. Yeah

What up, man? Before I left I had this inkling That there was more in me a little more in me than I was letting out and I think I think that's the problem with a lot especially men Is we know we got this fucking I know dog inside we got got this Greatness untapped motherfucking thing And you don't know what the fuck to do with it where to point it and a lot of times

We can point it the wrong direction and it it fucks everything up easy direction and I had this little I just had this inkling. There's a little more in you than you are given to the world so I went out on this thing and I found I was wrong It's not a little more use a fuck ton more than in you, man. Wow, you know, it's way more like it's way And I still don't know I feel like I just scratched the surface of it So, you know, now it's my job to keep exploring

And figure out what that looks like for me and that's what I'm up to now You know, but here's the thing man. It's not like I'm like you're not going to recognize me I still got all my I'm like I said I'm a goofy guy, too but There's this dog part of me You know that I think I was trying to suppress a lot earlier in my life, you know, and I look in the mirror You know, maybe do some affirmations or meditation. You say I am tough or I'm resilient. I'm confident

But it's like my name is Hawkeye or something. Yeah, it's like you don't really fucking. Yeah. I'm fucking Hawkeye I'll give myself crazy names, bro You don't really believe yourself because you haven't given you haven't shown any evidence And right in your real life. So it's like go do something fucking tough and you you actually Don't need to do affirmation. Right because it'll then it starts to live in you. This is you. You did it. Yeah You did it. You did it. But so it's I'm still me You know, but a little more of you now There's more of me, you know, and and and I needed those parts to come out some other dude

You know, I'd be too fucking hard. Maybe you need to soften up a little bit Yeah, but I want to take a different route from my journey man. This was that's what I needed Yeah, that burning man They say you don't get the burn you want get the burn you need I feel like that about the walk too and say you don't get the walk you want you get the walk you need. Wow, you know Um, we're tell me about some of the vagrants out there, bro Because I grew up, you know We grew up along I used to live back behind this

They had a river behind us and they had a rest area on the other side of it. That was a backup of the interstate Okay, so rest area a lot of men would meet up there, you know doing drugs doing sex, you know river doing sex, dude Oh, yeah, what is river sex sex out there right by the river? You know and so uh and anyway, but a lot of it was drug induced kind of sex You know, it was a lot of these men probably had families and stuff, but they were doing drugs But um, did you get to stop in any unique rest areas? Was there? Uh, was there some decent, you know, uh decent, you know road warriors out there? Did hitchhikers look at you like oh look at this fucking guy look at this show off, you know

I looked at you know at the time I had the big beard like I do now Big hat, you know, I had two walking sticks. I look pretty fucking crazy So no one really gave no one gave me really like much of a hard time a few dogs Came out, you know looking for looking for looking to tango Okay, I had to fend them off with my sticks and what state was at him where these dogs are at? Look at that dog. I mean they're in every state, but the the one that came at me the most I had two in Colorado that were kind kind of sketch But uh, damn and I have some dog spray too. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah, and what flavor is that? What is it? That's fucking

I don't know stay the fuck away from you It's nothing good I'm taking this like I want to tell you my my rest area story man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. These are good Dude, these don't get too comfortable I'll have to put some lotion on the way you say yeah, your voice drops are octave dude. Oh, yeah Jesus We're uh Ohio, Julie, what was it? Was it what was the city the Walmart? Do you remember?

No, it was close to dating And I don't remember the city name, but we were in Columbus And uh, they were like where are you headed next? I forgot the city name. It's the city west of columbus You probably zoom in on Akron. No, it wasn't Akron. It's a smaller city, but there's a Walmart there Is it it's there oh to the left is day in Uh, the spring field. Yep. Okay spring field so we're in columbus and uh, everyone's telling us yeah, man Just just be careful when you get to spring field, you know, just just you know

Just watch out and people say that to you the entire way Yeah, and usually the places they warn you about are the best places right so i'm not really listening to them and uh Julian, you know part of his job would be to figure out where we're going to sleep each night So, uh, like I said, we had a support vehicle So if there's walmarts, we could usually park there. They usually let us park there And so just like that there was a walmart right on our on our route, which is perfect And uh, he's like that's where we'll stop to stop that night. So I get there and uh

And I'll take my shoes off, you know, I stretch and stuff and um, I'm like, hey, julien I'm gonna go take a dookie in the walmart. Oh, yeah, I've done that dude. So let me go make a deposit in the bank You know, let me go drop the kids off at school Oh, bro, why are you laughing at that? That's not a big joke, dude. There's nothing more I think there's nothing more american than you know pulling over the shit at a walmart That's pretty much it, dude. Geez And I've done that and I love and I love being in there except sometimes people write stuff on the uh, like the outside wall I find a lot of people have markers out there. But um, anyway, let me let me

I found something worse than uh A sharpie sharpie message on on the stall. I'm gonna tell you what happened. So Uh, I get to the stall in the back back stall. I you know, I think I'm in a freaking handicapped stall, which I shouldn't be Well, you know, but I'm gonna let it stretch down. You burned it, bro. You just walk there. It is walk Okay, so the complete opposite and being handicapped is walking all the way to the walmart. Listen, man Listen, I'm sitting on this toilet. Okay And I've been on the toilet for like

120 seconds. All right. I'm just getting started. Oh, yeah. All right. Told you how much I eat Baby, yeah I got my phone out. I'm kind of comfortable. I'm staying here. Yeah. I'm downloading the episode or something We want to be here listen, man, so Like I'm just in the prelims. I hear somebody knock on the door and I can see There's another stall next to me empty. They knock on the door They're like, hey, are you okay?

I'm like, yes, I am okay All right. All right, my fucking spidey sense is tingling dude. Why is this gonna be knocking on the door when there's an open stall here? Yeah, yeah, that's alarming. That's alarming. So he's then he follows with Do I know you? No Bro It was a fan. Dude, it was I go nope I go you do not know me. I am for clear as day You do not know me

How you gonna know somebody that's just in a shitter behind a door unless you're david blaine, bro He's like, what the fuck is this dude? He's like, uh He's like, um Are you sure? I say, yeah, I'm sure I'm sure He's like, let me just check. I think I know you I see too. Okay. I'm sitting down at the thing. I see two

hands With clear Rubber gloves on not rubber. I like the doctor has you know, but they're not even like that like the like the like the Subway people wear. Uh-huh. You don't have to clear Oh, wow, dude, not even a good doctor. Two of these creep over the the I'm looking at the top of the thing The sandwich maker mitts Over the top over the top of the stall He's like a pull. I don't see

Two eyes like this Okay, you see the eyes come over. I'm sitting down. I'm in a vulnerable position. I go do What the fuck are you doing right now? Okay, mean posner came out dude mean It wasn't He go he dropped back down Gloves disappear. He goes. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I go, what the fuck are you he goes? I just thought you needed help. You were in there a long time

I go. I've been in here two minutes, man What are you talking about? I didn't hear anything else. I think he left the room, but I'm fired up, man Oh, and that's hard to shit when you're real fired up. Yeah, you know. Oh, yeah, I do Actually, it wasn't that hard to shit, man. Really? Yeah, I finished my business. So I finished my business I'm fired up and I'm ready to like fight this guy. Oh, yeah And I opened the door. He's not there and I was using, you know Sherlock pose

You know, I was looking at those gloves. I think he's probably at the subway. I think he's a subway So you're looking for I go looking for Dude, I can I never found them, but I still don't know what was like. Is there some kind of weird meet-up that happens in that bat like What do you make? What theory do you have to explain that? I could see man. It was daytime daytime. Uh, probably 4 30 p.m I could see that the the sun is out Sun is out. I could see people getting off work and maybe you Let me swallow before you say this if you gave out a certain vibe or something you walked through the store

Did you think you were doing that? Were you kind of peacocking as you went through it? Everywhere I went on this walk. I did not feel I stuck out So I'm perpetual peacocking on this walk So maybe this guy had had daydreams that a man came in like you, you know, maybe That's the thing. You don't know where his life is meeting you at But that's wild due to to do a pull-up in those fucking, uh, dude. He popped up, man That's crazy. It was slow. It was slow

Oh, I wonder who he thought you were I'm thinking there's some sort of weird weird meetup for like truckers. Oh, I'm sure there's some type of Tuesdays at 4 30 Meet in the back. Why the crick the listen. Let's discuss why the why the gloves were on though What do you make of that? I think to not leave fingerprints probably Oh my god, you know what I'm saying? Oh my god, just in case it gets real rectal or something you never know with this man Real rectal is always get rectal, bro. You gotta have a fucking mitten on bro Because this dude if he's out there like that, you know, maybe he's like a pianist, but don't want to you know

I don't know. That's wild to me I don't like wearing those. I used to work at an aww sandwich place and I don't like wearing those Dude, you know, I hooked up one time with uh, jared from subway sister one time a long time ago. Okay Tell me more. So that's it. That's nothing. Yeah But it was a long time ago, but it was still, you know, it happened How'd you know was that who her brother was people knew she knew You know, that was you knew before you met her Oh, no, I'm I ended up meeting her that night and people were like, hey, that's jared from subway sister. Oh, they were telling you

Yeah, okay Were there how much fandom did you have across because you're a uh, I mean you were a you're a very yeah You're a very uh, big you're a big producer musician Um entertainer. Thank you and thinker. I think is is something that even more people are probably gonna start to see you as Or something that I I personally so I can't speak for everybody, but um, I appreciate that But yeah, how much fandom did you run into or you know people that are supporters and stuff? Yeah, uh Well, first of all

I've had some popular music, but uh I love pretty normal life. Most people don't know what my face looks like Which is pretty awesome. You know, I can go to the store or whatever and it's not a problem There's a nice freedom with that huge man. If you I'm sure you have some friends who are like Really famous. It's scary. It sucks It does suck doesn't it? It's like they take a lot just a lot extra work to do To be and probably something that takes you even further We talk a lot about in here about like fame and the and and what is the real value in it? You know and what is like

just how How much of a sidetrack it can be to be in a human huge, you know Um, I feel bad for a lot of guys. You see a lot of young guys these days who are struggling because of uh, the fame You know something you can't live up to as a person just as one person. That's right. Um, you can't match that this fictional kind of You know ambiance or this crystal ball, you know that or this uh Disco ball that's kind of created you can't just be that as one person Yeah, um, and you see a lot of people. So, you know struggling with it

You know, I mean even Justin Bieber you see him recently come out about opening up about a lot of his struggles Which I think is pretty cool But just the value of fame I think is It's it's not as valuable. I think is a lot of people think it is it's valuable in This way, but yeah so much in This way, yeah, there's a sacrifice big time big time but to answer your question man, uh At the beginning of my walk I I said publicly I walk with anybody And so people would come from all over

And they'd walk with me and it was it was very beautiful, you know My job when they showed up was to listen. Hmm. That was my intention. I fucked it up sometimes a lot, you know Because they start asking me questions. I don't know what I'm talking about myself. Oh, yeah You know, but my job really was to listen And there's a lot of people and I would just ask, you know, every time someone showed up Hey Why did you why did you come here today? What were you looking for? and

Not in the mean way just just so I know right and it's always different some people they just wanted to go on like a Wild goose Che hunt, you know, whatever they call it because they know roughly where I am But not exactly and there's just a fun thing to do on Saturday like Easter egg Like you're like this Easter egg that's missing in the world I just want a picture But some people have some shit they wanted to talk about that they felt like it couldn't tell to anybody else You know, so it was just different every time and it was really beautiful because

Even even if somebody is real excited, you know as like a fan or something like that You walk, you know, you walk like two three mile the sun starts beating down on you real quick Real quick. You're just you're just two two dudes out there. Yeah, so it was really cool. Oh, that's interesting it's like you could walk right out of your Your um, just like in case and kind of that happens sometimes yeah from people knowing you in advance. It takes a minute and uh One of my I will call my mentor. He's a hospice chaplain His name is Kevin Deegan chaplain Kevin. We call him and before I left He kind of gave me a lecture on listening

And he said Mike, there's three levels of listening The first is contextual meaning I say hey Uh My dad died two years ago. It's just a fact Because context and the second is emotional is one step deeper and that's My dad died two years ago and I felt lost

And the third is identity And that's my dad died two years ago. I felt lost But it was the first time I felt like a man changed who I was Or the first time I felt like a real adult and so If you he taught, you know, if you can move the conversation away from step one to two to three Then there can be healing. He says he says, you know, and like on that third level And uh, so that's what I was trying to listen to people on this

It's just certain cues and questions he gave me where this just like tell me more about that or how that You know, what did that what did that change for you? Is a question you can ask Ask people and you're trying to take it out a small talk. Yeah Yeah, because you can really connect with people at that level too and it makes it so it feels so good to connect with somebody at a level where Where you're both just uh human souls kind of that Because you can you know what it's like to need something and when you hear somebody need something or there's people are sharing what they need um Man, it's just such a magnet. You know, it's such a comfortable place. Um

There's a gift you can give to somebody else. Yeah any time Yeah, it's to really be there really listen It's pretty powerful, huh? Yeah, man, and the last one he gave me, you know, he said if all that shit doesn't work You're saying goodbye. You asked them If I pray for you, what should I pray for? Hmm. I asked that question about 20 000 times on this walk, you know, just from new jersey to california and people will tell you man

Pray for my pray for me my sobriety pray for my family In the novel whole nation. They say pray for my people a lot people would say that pray for my people You know, and then you get out you got a level one get to go a little deeper Um, was that one of the most popular angels people praying for their sobriety? There's a lot of a lot of people with sobriety came out um I want to say like a lot. I want to say like an abnormal percentage, but yeah, some people I spent, you know

The guy I'm thinking of when I say that his it was one of the most touching things happen on the whole walk um It's dude, uh, I was walking in um, arizona On the wallow pie reservation And I'm having sort of a tough end of the day tough day. I think I'm doing 24 26 And um This guy stops and pulls his Red f 350

350 pulls aside a road ahead of me and starts to reverse And I'm like, oh, what's this gonna be like, you know And I'm on like a two lane busy highway. It's like, you know speed limit 65 or dangerous So the dude he like kind of dangerously like crosses the road I'm like, oh gosh, like don't get hit by a car, please bro And he comes over and he's talking to me. He's like, y'all just been following you and it's a it's an indigenous young man his name is Rowan And um

We just had this little little honestly, I was I was tired. I wasn't doing any of that shit Chaplain Kevin told me I wasn't really listening. I was just thinking about myself But I remember to ask him that question I said if I pray for you, what should I pray for? And he said man And he took a moment like that. He's just uh, you know Several years ago my dad died Um alcohol, you know, got a alcoholism on those reservoirs. Oh, yeah, and he died of alcohol and uh

A few years after that my I think it was his brother. He died from alcohol and uh, just just like last year on Easter my mom died alcohol and uh Also, you got your brother. He's like nah, like I'm alone now So I would say just pray for I have a problem with alcohol too. I'm sober now I can't remember how long but just pray for my sobriety. You know? And I'll say fuck man, I will you know, I will And you say you just wait wait here, man. I want to get I got something for you He runs across the road again

I'm gonna scare back to his truck dude. Alcohol ain't gonna get this guy man. It's gonna be a town in Corvette So he goes up to his truck And he had this little leather pouch and it's tied to like, you know, you drive the car like this And there's the like little handle there sometimes on the truck It's tied there real tight looped around little leather pouch He undoes it. He brings over he says, hey man this is uh This is in our tradition. This is uh sweet grass and sage

And we believe sometimes spirits or souls they get lost right here where you're walking And this is just you know in our our tradition. We believe it's to protect you And uh, I want you to have it And I thought fuck man, you know He left And he put his fucking hand out the window like this, you know drove by drove away from me I should just after he left she just hit me right in the heart

Like how this guy meant this guy first off. I'm a white guy walking on his land, you know Right, which probably yeah, but traditionally didn't really work out well No, we fuck we fucked them over every single type of way possible, you know, how could this guy Be so welcoming to me so kind Even after everything that's he's had such a hard run, you know and and a smile and That's one of the most Yeah, touching moments that whole walk man especially when you're having a day with it's like yeah

You're at the end of the day So no you can't be you know your best self after you know It's it's hard you can't always be your best self and do the things you want to do like you're saying Like some of the guy posted the chaplain had given you and things like that in conversation And yeah, it happens a lot and it's like you get into a moment. You're like, uh And then somebody does for you what you You know you want to be doing for them or what you you know, it's like somebody brings your journey What's your thing? It's they bring it right to you man. That's powerful powerful before I left

I brought these sort of like intentions for myself and one of them was like I said listen deeply and another one was Leave each place I go better than it was when I came and I read that now And that's one of the things I want to punch. Oh Mike in the face Like you you fucking cocky motherfucker. You think you're gonna breeze in To the wallop hi nation and leave it better. Yeah, then there was no motherfucker You're gonna walk there And because of people's not just there but everywhere that you walk because of people's kindness and grace

They will leave you better. You know, you know, I read I hear that now somebody people are reading. I'm like, dude You're so it's so It's cringe-worthy You were so cocky, but it's an it's a It's an it for some weird reason. It's a normal train of thought, you know It's like I used to think like especially with the when our podcast really started out You know a lot of young men would reach out with things they were struggling and I was thinking like, oh, yeah This is great. I have an opportunity to be able to help other people be a part of their life

But then over time it's like I've had so many struggles on my own That these it's like the people that support the pie are always there for me. So it's like that's right It's just interesting man. It just shows how much that we need each other You know, it really that's one thing that I'm constantly You know reminded of Um, I had a question for you. Yeah I know the story or the I think it's the night you got or decide to get sober Daryl strawberry That Daryl strawberry look amazing, man. If anybody watching this, I haven't seen that. They probably all have but

Thank you. Watch that. It means a lot. Come on. What happened the next day What happened the next day? Did you go to a center? Did what happened the next day? I flew back out here to los angeles and um And I've been partying before I even left to Los Angeles. I've been doing some cocaine and doing that And there was still some cocaine on my counter even when I got home. So oh shit So I did that left a little booby trap. Oh the worst bro. So you came back and did more cocaine Yeah, I had to man because I left it right there, you know and uh And yeah, so that at that point then the next day I had some meetings and stuff

I was supposed to do work stuff and I had to cancel it and I went into an office of a manager that I had at the time And he asked he was introducing me to his his manager boss So the management company was kind of trying to take him some notice. I mean what was going on in my career and stuff And he said hey, what's going on and I just told him the Daryl strawberry. I just told him what happened, you know, I just I wasn't doing well And I just said, you know, I'm not really doing that well You know, it was the first time I gone into a place, I guess and I don't know if it was the first time I'd gone in and been honest, but yeah, I did not thinking about

What are the, you know, what do I need to do to make my work better or career better or what try to position myself in here? I thought it has been struggling, you know, I've been you know, struggling with some cocaine and doing some drug And he said well, I go to these meetings if you want to go It was crazy because the guy who I was kind of scared to talk to he said well Why don't you come with me to this thing tomorrow, you know, I go to these meetings and Then the next day I went and then I continued to to stay in there, you know, and uh And start to figure out some other stuff because my alcoholism isn't really I don't know how much I have a problem with drugs and alcohol, but I have a problem with the way that I think and feel about myself

and and it's a Constant battle. It doesn't I can't just beat it. You know, it's like it's one of those things that keeps coming back You know, I mean, it's that Mike positive right? I'll come back day after day, dude You know I'm saying it'll show up across the country bro day after day It gets up it gets up before me my alcoholism that's right and it trains and it meditates and it's ready Bro, that shit comes it'll fucking come off the you know I mean you open the cereal cupboard and that motherfucker will jump out with a fucking little dragon in his arm, you know

It'll do stuff. So it's like I have to I got you know, it's just it's a never-ending battle kind of Um, but that's what happened. That was like the next day that happened Oh You still go to the same meeting? I do sometimes. Uh, yeah, not as much but I do and I go to a lot of them still. Yeah, you know It had me thinking when you were walking everywhere I go people say that their their town is the math capital of the world Yeah, you must have heard that all the time. I never heard those words, but pretty much every place I went

I mean, yeah, it struck me Uh, whether it was the smallest town in pennsylvania or indianapolis Or, you know st. Louis every place I went I never saw it Aside from a lot of needles on the side of highway, especially in pennsylvania. I mean those things are fucking everywhere. Really? Yeah a lot of needles Uh I honestly needles like sir. They were syringes. I don't know if they had needles on the ends. I couldn't tell But every place I went I would meet somebody who say we have a huge drug problem here huge

every place That's wild and white black port every place on it. Yeah Yeah, that's one thing I noticed in these programs that this shit doesn't discriminate You know, I know some of the most powerful people now in in entertainment that are you know through this program and I know people that uh That have nothing, you know that have you know, haven't achieved any of their goals really, you know We're struggling with them and and it's amazing to see like the That that shit doesn't it'll get anybody. It's pretty powerful. Um

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Theo one five at checkout to receive 15 off again. That's ua dash cbd.com and use code Theo 15 at checkout And now back to the episode We had some calls that came in and we had we had so many questions We want to get to a couple of video questions from uh from some support. They come in video, huh? Oh, yeah Oh boy. Yeah, these people. Oh, they mean it. There's your boy right there. What do you think his name is? I'm gonna go with alan. I'm gonna go with Jeremiah. Okay. That's that's michael Oh

Yo, what up theo and mike? Mike congratulations, man. I'm so happy for you for finishing that walk doing what you said you were gonna do You freaking delivered man. So congrats on that. I have a question for you about false finish lines So I've seen you mention that um false finish lines have been a big struggle on the walk You know you make it to the end of a state then you just got to keep going So my question to you is how do you deal with those false finish lines? You know you you want that reward in your brain? You want to be happy about what you've accomplished, but you just got to keep going so I'm curious like

How you mentally and physically deal with that Right on brother gang gang guys gang bro. Thank you for the question That's what all of them say to you. Yeah, man. And then you say they say gang gang. You just say one gang bag gang Yeah, dang, but do you ever say gang twice and they say gang once? Yeah, or you just you're like the Whoever starts the gang starts has to double it. Let's try one. All right gang gang gang I didn't feel right. Okay. It didn't just on my end. All right. Let me try. I felt like my game was authentic I feel like it was authentic to you though And that's what gang gang gang bro. That felt better. Okay. I'm a better leader. I'm better first first

There we go, man. Yeah, but hey man, Michael, right? Yeah, uh, yeah, that's a great question How would you get to the that that finish line? And you know, there's so much more to go to reboot yourself And I got even this this this nomenclature false finish line or fake I got that from David Goggins. He did a post about that Before I was experiencing it, but I didn't know how to conceptualize it. So So just a little background. I was walking across Missouri and while I was walking across Missouri is like end of july It was fucking You know hot like 95, you know 90 you made it like and you're completely covered

I mean you're you look completely covered. I got I wore this same shirt. I wear this shirt on the walk I didn't wear this one too much because it's blue and I Was I ended up wearing the white ones because they're cooler, but this is a walk shirt So they're long sleeve dry fit, but there this is a coach chad helped me out with this too Is it uv protected? Oh dang? I never got about your complex. Believe it or not. I never got sunburn I'll show you this this and see if I never got sunburn. Look at that And that's 10 I finished 10 days ago. You see that? Yeah

So only my hand got tan, you know, yeah, because I always wore this shirt A tan-handed bad boy. Yeah, I'm feeling my whole body. Wow. That's amazing, man. All right. So look I'm walking in Missouri and It's hot and it's flooded And I want to blow out proportion because people lost their homes and everything so I'm just doing I'm just doing my walk. So don't feel too bad for me, right? But there are days I'm walking The wrong way because I get to a road and it's just not there It's under water or I get there and the water's coming to my knee and I'm walking more. It's coming to my hip

I'm like, dude. I gotta go a different way, dude. Like This ain't gonna end good while I'm walking the I was on the katie trail and I'm walking through like nasty water like still water. Oh, yeah And like soup that's how I feel like when I pictured Some parts of Louisiana. Oh, yeah stagnant Some swampy water. Oh, yeah, look, so I remember coming out as one water and my legs were just stinging They just stinging. I'm like, dang it. I gotta wash those off soon. This is not good, right?

So anyways, dude, and there's no service cell service there Whatever, so we called the old Fulton loop because I had to go up to this city called Fulton, Missouri And it was like, yeah, it was just the wrong way and it's the moralized walking the wrong direction As you'd imagine, but I kept saying to myself, man, just get to Kansas, dude. Just get to Kansas So that was kind of my mantra in Missouri. Just get to Kansas Now a couple weeks pass And what happens? I get to Kansas and I crossed that border and I fucking cried, bro

I cried. It was a man because nobody knew How hard it was but me, you know, and somebody else that did the walkthrough. I mean just nobody knew And I thought I made it man. I made it to Kansas, you know And it was the end of the day. All right at border. I went to bed and I felt proud And I went to sleep and the next day The alarm went off 4 a.m. You just start walking, right? So I get up to go And my my mind my body my spirit if you believe in that If you don't want to believe in spirit, you just call it morale my morale. They were all gone

Because they thought I was done Because I kept telling them just get to Kansas. So they go Oh, we made it motherfucker got you here. Yep. See you later, Mike. Right So this one this was actually the hardest day of the walk for me. I start to go and In hindsight, I think I was pretty bad to hydrate as well, but I get to the point where I'm I'm limping and If my mind isn't It's actively thinking walk

Right left step walk if my mind isn't thinking if it drifts at all to any other topic anywhere My body just stops and I finish my thought tangent and I realize I'm not even I'm not moving. Fuck And they'll be like good to be that focused. That's how just I just had nothing left. There's just no energy there, man and and My feet are fucking hurting bad and there's like there's some trees and they have shade And I will walk to like a shade and I would like I would sit down And try to just like cool off get my shit together and I see like another tree or another piece of shade and it'd be like 200 feet in front of me and I'd walk there

And my body just fucking stop again. I sit down. I'm just going from shade to shade like and they're not very far apart And I'm taking a break at each one and it's just So this is when I learned this lesson, man. You can't Create a finish line that isn't your finish line So you got to break the motherfucker down. You're not supposed to be like, hey, man. I got 2,601 miles too big, you know So but you just you're just going to the next next Checkpoint, but you you're knowing that You're not done. And so then we got a new mantra after that. I got bit by a snake all this shit

I learned and julien here. He'll remember, you know, when we Like cross the rocky mountains or those were big deals because we had to plan for them differently this kind of thing Whenever we'd finish something like that, we'd be excited. We celebrate that shit. We did it, you know for sure But we would always say this ain't a this ain't a finish line. It's a checkpoint. Yeah, this ain't a fit And we'd say, you know, we're hyped us. We're gonna say it finish. I was a checkpoint boy That's a checkpoint boy. That's that checkpoint Ain't no finish line. We done You know, that's how that's how we would do it after after be excited to not be done. That's right. We we ain't done

You stop us there. We ain't done you know and So even even when I finished the walk It's one of best days, you know best moments of my life I got 30 people on at the beach waiting for me and I took a vow of silence that day. I walked up to that beach And I had a moment with each person, you know, they're standing shoulder to shoulder looking at me the water's behind them

I could see the water They fuck man. I made it here And I'm going down the line hugging each person just having a moment and I'm listening they're talking to me But I ain't say I said I'm not saying anything till I get in that water I seen coach Chad there. I start crying. Wow Because he you know, that's the guy talked to me on the phone been there every day. Yeah talking me on the phone Was every day, you know before And he said my ear. It was never a doubt. There's never a doubt

And I keep going down that line, you know All the people, you know guys I met the Navajo nation that drove there You know barely any gas money because we connected when I walked there wanted to be there when I finished and the last two guys were Julian and Colin the other walk manager. They took turns and uh Also, Julian's ass. I start crying dude. He's like man. Get get up. Give me a hug to you

and he said We finished our moment and uh, I'll get ready to go into water And uh, you look at me This ain't finished lines checkpoint You know gang and we our motto too was keep going as another one of our models. Yeah. Yeah, I know I caught on to that one Yeah, for sure We do we do every time I was say goodbye to Julian the whole walk or Colin I'm gonna go walk another eight miles. We go like this

Keep going baby. Every time so we did that and he just reminded me know even though you're done with this journey You're not done motherfucker. This is actually just the beginning You know because we talked about all the stuff you became this new guy You found parts of yourself you're stronger And now you can do so much more. I mean the things I that are on my on my On the buffet now. Mm-hmm is so much more. Oh, yeah Then it was before I did the walk very was salad before you got dessert on there. Yeah

Putans a balsamic vinaigrette. Yeah, you got balsamic dude. You got fucking oysters, bro Everything they got a fresh catch area You're vlogging this thing's big dude That took the sneeze guard off Listen so So, yeah, you know buffet's gutter when they got that fucking sneeze guard I wanted to

I never knew what that was till you just yeah, dude. That's what you can't lean in I want you. I don't want you to in there I thought I didn't know why they had it. They have it for you, dude Theo Vaughn's ass, bro. I would never these look good Jesus damn, I wonder why they all why don't they put them on a better, uh, you know mobile Because they always got these shady kind of piece of glass up at the top You're always doing like this. I'm like, I should have been a surgeon I'm just trying to get a couple of fucking potatoes, bro

That's crazy, man. I didn't know that Wow, that's a safety sneeze guard So so listen, dude, so you ran into the water. I ran in the water, but I wanted I wanted to not make that mistake again So my body's pretty jacked, you know, it's not injured, but it's pretty jacked up You know my feet are hurting and all stuff But I know the next day after the walk is the most important day of the walk You know, who care you go when you learn the most stuff tapping apart yourself and you go the next day You forget it all who cares

Anybody can do that. So So how do we do that? How do we keep that going? Well, this is this is how I've been I'm just the end of 10 days ago. So I'll tell you where I'm at, you know But the next day was very important to me and I knew I knew I needed rest, you know for my body, but in order to not fuck this mistake up I knew I had to be up at 4 a.m. Again the next day And I knew I had to I knew I had to get after it So

I called a dude named coach Marcello He runs a boxing gym Argentinian man I said, hey man, can you meet me at 5 30 saturday? And I'm doing this, you know like a week before I finished the walk. I think you meet me 5 30 saturday I'll plant in the head. That's cool. You mean and uh, he said, yeah, I gotta confirm. I said, I can't confirm I'm turning my phone off friday. I'm leaving my phone off for two days after that I said, I knew you confirm now. Can you meet me 5 30? He said, yeah, I'll be there

So I'm up at 4 I hit that meditation I'll ride my bike over to the boxing gym And I'll fucking jump the rope. I hit the heavy bag. I hit the mitts I do the sit-ups. He's throwing the medicine ball and this is it. My body needs to rest. I know that But hey, I need I also need my body my mind my spirit to know I'm not done so That's what I did the next day

And I did some yoga after that physical therapy and I just kept my phone off for two days Because I knew I needed to feel how I felt without having to explain other people how I felt And I wrote about it, but I just try to keep that that first week I gave myself this week. I'll let myself sleep a little bit Which I needed, you know, but that first week compressed a little I needed I needed To keep that that schedule and I thought I was going to get depressed, you know, you finish this big thing But I really haven't, you know, and that's because even though I'm not on the walk

I'm I'm working on other things whether it's writing. I'm doing some writing a pro style, which is exciting to me and difficult and um, you're still walking inside of yourself. Do you find you find yourself kind of Like like the steps kind of keep going inside of yourself sometimes. Can you still feel them in your in your being kind of? I don't know if I'll put it put it quite like that, but But yeah, I definitely feel like, um I left the walk and but the walk never leaves you. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Do your legs sometimes be like, dude Take me for a walk. Like your leg. I feel like it would be like having a couple things dobermans on it

You know, they've been pretty tired, dude But me and coach Chad just started hitting some hikes because the next one of the things I want to get into is mountaineering So instead of walking on flats going that way. So Well, we uh, we've been we've been going doing some height man. He took me out of some Some bullshit. Yeah, he's out of Louisiana, right? And he's that's flat land I don't know. I would not let that man at an altitude. So I don't know what you guys are doing up there with him, dude He's got machetes out and You don't want to see it. Yeah, and y'all are just at a carl's junior. It's like what the hell's going on?

You don't want to see this guy on a saturday, bro. You don't want to see him. It's dangerous, huh? Yeah, some men get real dangerous on the weekend. I've seen camera on Haynes and some of those guys They get real dangerous on the weekend. Has he come on your podcast very violent. Uh, no, he hasn't he would come on No, I haven't even met him. We just communicated sometimes online, but he's really uh, that dude's pretty pretty Nardi. Yeah, he seems pretty normal runs like a marathon a day. He doesn't stop We got this question that came in right here from me when I was younger. All right, what do you? What do you think his name is? Oh man, I'm gonna go with uh

Uh, Scott. That's Jeff That's a good that's a strong Jeff Hey, what's up, Theo? What's up, Mike? It's Ben Fuck man Um, or as Mike knows me by bc birdman Um, I know. I don't know. We walked together back in indiana around about five miles around tarahoe. So what I want to ask Mike

is that um You had you told me I remember this dude. He changed his whole fucking. He didn't have a mustache like that I remember this dude. Oh, it might because uh, november or whatever. This guy was dope, man Yeah, indiana that you developed a love for f4 at f150s First of all, is there any plans to buy buy an f4 at f150? for your own And then also is there anything on the walk later on that after we've stopped walking with you

that you Came to love or came to appreciate um That you didn't think you would or that you just couldn't expect I remember this guy. He walked to me and I remember he had he got a hat that looked like mine kind of Oh, cool. And uh, this guy is a um, bird Enthusiast. Oh, wow, that's beautiful. So he will he talked to me on the walk, you know, we walked a few hours

He will like go in camo And like he has these long lenses and sometimes they call the cops on him because he looks scary, bro Yeah, he's got these long lenses because he's trying to get this shot of this bird, you know And he'll be just camped down the grass waiting for that. Oh, yeah birds So, um f150 yeah, I Realized like man, everyone has an f1. I always live in a city or a suburb. Yeah, you don't see trucks here in hell

I mean, you never see a truck. You never see a truck, dude, but you on the walk Everyone has an f150 Everyone's a lot of america's trucks. We never see them. I started love these up and then I realized they're f2.50s And there's f3.50s like rowing All the jet then my new favorite car after he met me became the f750 It's f. So it's like the it's like a front cab of a semi almost. I can't even imagine that. It's a big boy. Oh I don't want all that dude. Just relax. Seven fifty. Can you put your hands on the table? Jesus Hold on. Let me put my gloves on first

Maybe that was me back there Dude, I wouldn't be surprised. Well, that's an f750. That's the big boy But normally they're not they don't have like see that looks weird because it has the it has the regular back usually they have like A dump truck or something on the back like that. Yeah, I never even seen that even though they have that But I was cds and I see him come up. I go. I think it's f750. I start hyping it up And then either with his big like that either it's a 650 or 750 If it comes by and he says on the side of the car, so I'm looking at it's coming right

I'm getting excited. It comes by says 650. I'm like, man, you hate to see it But if it comes by it comes by like this and says 750 I might even run a little bit after I see that boy It's a little thing that get you going, huh? Dude, I think like another I don't know just the second part is question any of the things I learned or I didn't expect um A thing that popped in my head was uh hunters man. I always thought hunters Didn't give a fuck about animals, right? I thought they were like

The people that like hated it like fuck animals man. Well, fucking kill me soon, you know So it turns out at least all the hunters I met They actually care about animals more than anybody. Yeah, and what I learned was You know you could live in LA and West Hollywood and you buy a fucking burger and what you're basically doing is paying somebody else to You know factory farm these poor cows and fucking kill them in a terrible way And and you're you know, you're paying you're funding the genocide basically, you know But you're a hunter like some of the guys I met and you find out one

It's just very regularly, you know a certain time you get the tags Yeah, October November is it yeah, and you got and and you got they're only giving out the tags You don't decimate the population. You're not hunting the babies. You know So it's all that and then What they taught me like I was asking a hunter. I was like man so If you see a deer like you where you shoot you shoot it like in the head and like no, you don't want to shoot a deer in the head It just seems like a casino or something. I didn't know dude. I didn't know man

Tell me where a stream is I thought you just you see the animal you shoot the shoot them That's what I thought they did, you know But I found out they wait till they can kill it in a way Where it won't suffer where it's going to be dead So even if they could see the animal the animals in the scope if it doesn't turn in the right way and they'll get a clean shot They don't kill it and they uh

That that I learned that that changed my whole perspective what I thought hunting was you know And these people doing this is you like basically, you know, you're in the food chain then, you know It seems very ethical to me You had a lot of small areas. I mean especially as ethical as killing could be you know, that would be it It's more but it's more ethical to me than buying a burger at the store or whatever right and they use it Especially locally, you know, I'll get calls when I was back in Louisiana. Hey, you know We have some venison and we got this or we got some quail, you know Or we got a fucking fresh load of fucking hemp meat. What about those dudes?

They come this is the real thing they because I've seen a lot of roadkill as you might imagine One of those dudes they pick up the roadkill eat it. Hmm I think as long as they cook it and eat it that's fine Did you ever have any roadkill if they doing that fucking highway sashimi brown? That's when I'm outside. Did you ever have any roadkill meat? I've had a lot of exotic meat that was probably killed I wouldn't know if it was killed by an auto, but I bet it was killed by something, you know fast and Unnecessary like what?

Exotic how old people know I've had owl meat. I've had um, oh, yeah What else juror, uh, I wouldn't say I've had durable, but I've had something just a touch bigger than that What the fuck dude? What's a touch bigger than insurable? Probably like a little maybe a muskrat? Yeah, I'm trying to think of what else you could be thinking maybe a large, uh Groundhog what else do they have? Yeah, man, we came up an area that a lot of exotic meats, you know, I've had, um guinea pig large ones nothing small I've had, um

Dove I've had dove. Yeah a couple brothers near me So we used to always be grilling up doves and I go get over there and eat it with them once in a while. Why is it doves flying around? They'd shoot them. I don't know. Where'd they get them? I think they catch them, you know Catch with their hands because a dove will come over, bro That's the fucking bible trying to reach out to you on wings, dude You can't catch a dove with your hands, bro. I can't but these chefs could these local chefs um

We had one or two more video questions that came in man. This is just I mean it's wild because I could talk to you I mean there's just so much to encapsulate that That you started a feed and that you took it on and that you really did it. Hey man, that's the thing And it must be hard for you. Is it hard to to corral all like all of the levels of it the physical the emotional the Yeah, but that's the one reason I told you I'm doing that writing now Because then I can start to see what I what I asked a lot of stuff. I'm saying today

I'll be like I can feel that kind of think out because I'm writing it to myself. Yeah Do you think it'll be a book or something where people can um, you know get a hold of I mean, I think it could be helpful to people I really think it could be I think uh, I think I don't know if I'm if I'm called to do I'll do it. Yeah, but I got once, you know, if I'm gonna do a book I'm a writer, you know, I write my own song write other people's songs So I couldn't use like a ghost or anything like that. You have to do it yourself And you know, you do that book. It's gonna be hard. This is as hard as the walk, you know, it's gonna take longer for sure Walk took six months. You know, you do that book

Yeah, if you do it, right, you know, it's gonna take three four five six seven year, you know, so keep going man I love going baby. Keep going. This guy has a question right here. We'll get what's his name. That's alberto Oh, hold on. Okay. Albert or alberto. I'm gonna go with edwin Uh, he didn't really say put his name is silver fox. So oh shit. We were way off, dude Well, he so he's must be native american. Is that native american name? Must be Hi mike, this is the silver fox here. This is hair. He's referring to my father four months ago And I have reoccurring dreams with him

in the dream And I was wondering if you think that it's a mechanism to help your brain Cope with the trauma or if there's more to it and if you've experienced that yourself Gang gang gang, bro. Silver fox. Yeah, I felt about his joke at the beginning of that. It's okay. You didn't know but um, I would I was about to joke even and I didn't but Dude, my dad came and visited me in a dream recently in hawaii I was in hawaii. I hadn't seen my dad in 20 years and he showed up in a dream. It was What was the dream?

He was there. Um, Matthew McConaughey was there and robert denier was there and there There was like kind of an argument. It was at lunch and uh And I was trying to get everybody to communicate but denier didn't want to talk to my dad McConaughey was a little bit indifferent, but it ended up they chatted for a minute And I don't know what it was all about But that was just the dream and then I got to just see my dad. I just hadn't seen him And he was younger than I'd ever met him at and it was just wow It was crazy and it was just I mean, I'd never had had enough no dream and then I'm in hawaii

So wait, he did he die 20 years ago? No, he died about I think maybe yeah He died about 20 or 22 years ago 22 But it was just to see him just to have like a moment where I thought I was really there with him, you know Yeah Um, and I know your father passed. Yeah. Do you feel like there was was there moments where? Where he was with you was there moments? Or was it a disconnect? What was there? No, that is actually a crazy question because um

It happened all the time when I started this walk like It was crazy. It was great. I mean, I was telling my friends all like do I see my dad Or my I had dreams about my dad. I don't really feel like Some people believe different things. I don't really feel like that's him visiting me I don't really believe that but I would so I would say I'm having dreams about my dad um But yeah, it would be all the time man so much more than when I was on the walk And I wake up and I remember just feeling like

Say it seems similar to you You're mostly in the dreams because my dad he got brain cancer in the last like year 10 months He was really like dying. He was in the hospital bed. I kind of think he was sick And then the dreams he's never sick. It's always more like A few years before that's to state his bodies and he's in and uh I remember the feeling like when I'd either wait after I'd wake up or to think feeling was was always like Almost shocked like he's really dead He's really gone

and I remember feeling like How sad it was how sad it really was And how how like um How real like then I remembered the the whole like The whole deal that happened with right with the when he was sick It almost refreshes it because it refreshes they were there for a second in your head But it even it feels more like it felt it felt felt more heavy than it did when I was there Like help it take care of him

I was because I was just doing it then and I had to make sure I was doing a good job And I look back and I just remember the feeling was like fuck man. That shit really happened. Dad got cancer and he died Fuck You know, I didn't really know what to what to do with that You know, I would wake up and I would take care of what I said. I was going to take care of um If I had to theorize

to silver fox, I would think it's probably um Again, I'm no fucking psychologist, but I would just I would I would guess like it's it's my It's me feeling what I need to feel and maybe I'm maybe I'm cruising so hard and I'm doing all the stuff I'm busy. Oh, that's just good. You know, I don't feel bad about any of that But maybe I didn't feel all the all the pain all the grief I needed to so it's coming coming at night That's that's that's what I would guess dude Did your thought was it easier to go to sleep at night or was it harder to go to sleep at night on the wall?

um I would feel it would seem like you'd be so exhausted, but that's just what I would think It would be a little like waves you got to catch, you know, like I was trying to get to bed 7 30 Because I knew I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, right? So but I was trying when I was trying to be like in the bed, you know starting the process And you went to camp or you went to win a bagel when you sleep? Um, you guys get a hotel mostly every once in a while, but mostly yeah, we had an RV That was our support vehicle

But then when we would do the actual like Parts that were like the rocky mountains or certain parts of the desert in arizona like the or the mojave desert in california The RV couldn't drive on those parts. So then I'd be sleeping in a tent But that was the best part to get sleeping in a tent and at any time we had finished those we'd come back We our RV we called Larry we come back Julie. We'd be like man. I love Larry, but kind of like fuck Larry, bro We don't really need him, dude so Uh

Yeah, man, I It would be hard especially in the summer when it's hot. I wasn't sleeping too too well. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it is hard to sleep when it's so hot out I was in um in Maui this summer for just a week humble brag. Yep, and uh island fucking humble brag too, dude, and uh And I didn't have any air condition in the hotel room and it was Dang so hard to sleep at night. Dang. What's looking? What fucking promoter puts you out there, dude? Don't worry Theo All expenses paid

All expenses pay just come on out. It'll be a great time, man Bro, I would put a couple ices on my back. I would lay down and put some ices. That's right. That's right Uh, let's get one more question, man, and then we'll quit taking up all the mic's day. Hey, I'm here for you. This is awesome, man Oh, wait, let me guess the name I'm stumped Yeah, me it's something about something about the way his eyes got caught in that frame one's bigger than the other Yeah, I'll go with uh, Shane I'll go with that's a good guess a damn good guess

Fuck man. You are good Well, let's see. We're both fucking dude. That's a fucking shame though Hold on. Did he say his name? Wait. Wait. I gotta guess. Hold on. I'ma go with I'ma go with michael. He didn't say his name. It's uh finn sanders finn damn That's close to Shane I feel like they're in the same neighborhood. Yeah, you gotta get a regular name finn. You gotta fucking Why did we didn't do it? Do we have any crazy guesses, yo? I don't know why I didn't guess you should you should have guessed that you should have guessed bartholomew

That would have been a good guess All right, come on. Come on fin the discussion topic that I want to talk about is uh regarding mike's philosophy on life Uh, which I have been trying to adopt loving people forgiving understanding I just wonder where do you draw the line when you recognize actually malevolent? and uh pathological behavior Do you still think you can exterminate stuff like that?

with uh love and understanding or do you think that you sometimes have to draw a line? Thank thank you to you both for what you're doing. Uh, this is the collab of the year gang gang Gang gang, bro. I feel that second game. Good good, bro. You just can't because it came out Came out like my stomach. Yeah, it's not my brain. Yeah, you know the first time I did I was trying to sound cool Yeah, you're stuck in your throat. I was thinking about was a gang You need that gutter was a game Oh game Yeah, that is saffa gang and I'm gonna you gotta get that gutter. I want to hear what I want to hear you answer the question too

Because it's a good one especially your recovery. I know forgiveness is a big part of that Yeah, I think uh I think you have to do your best, you know, I think that not like I think almost everybody Almost everybody you can Find a way to relate to almost everybody and I think there's instances where you can't um And for me my instincts will usually kind of let me know like this is Something this is someone you can work with and learn from or you guys can

You know, you guys can be a part of each other's lives or help each other in some way and this is something that's out of your Capable jurisdiction. There's nothing if you continue to engage here that you're going to be able to Uh To get to help each other. It's just not a good match. That's for a higher power. That's for something that you can't handle And so You know, that's where I kind of I think I'll just trust my instincts some time and try to and that's where I'll draw the line If if I it's not that something's pure evil, but it's just something that I can't really Help I can't help or it can't help me even in a in a in a positive way

Like and I'm just in a in any type of emotional way or anything, you know Yeah, I think sometimes it's just out of my hand. I'm not you know, I'm just a layman of the Of the higher powers. So it's like You know a lot of times I need more help than I There's a lot sometimes you do run across some people. It's just They need to send this person back into the drawing board back into the ether and let them get them remodeled You know, oh shit, dude. Sometimes I think

Dark arts you talking about killing them, dude. I mean I ain't killing them, bro, but I'll come to the funeral Oh, you know, good. I'll be out there. It's the dark arts, man. It doesn't end Michael It doesn't end. I think man. I think there's a difference between forgiveness and Who you spent who you choose to spend your time with or spend your life with really Forgiveness is for yourself. You know really I think I'm looking at you like you asked me the question. No, it's okay Hey, I love it. Hey, listen, bro. Hey, listen. I think forgiveness is for yourself You know somebody fucks you over something you then you got to carry that You know, they always say like you hate somebody. They don't feel that hate you feel the fuck. Hey, you got to walk around with that

you know and So I think the forgiveness is for yourself. Yeah, but then at the same time like I think this is where I'm at right now in my life. If you asked me a year ago I think I'd say something very different, but right now I think I'm I'm a 31 year old man Part of my job is to Be respectful, but also not be disrespected

so somebody's gonna Disrespect me or even like if I first meet someone And it just feels off That's cool. I'm just gonna be nice to you, but We're not gonna be friend, you know I'm not gonna go be friends or you just right just to be not because you asked to have dinner with me or whatever It's I'm good, you know, so and then it goes same thing sometimes someone you love might do some shit that you think is disrespectful

and One of the big things for me is I were always in the past Just because I was so scared of conflict I just withdraw And maybe I just like avoid them Or maybe I don't avoid them, but I got this little thing in the back of my head going remember that one fucking tiny resentment yeah, that resentment and uh Now I think part of my job, you know

As a as to myself is to not allow myself to be disrespected or if I'm disrespect my boys call them out on a motherfucker I don't like the way you said that to me, dude. Yeah, you know and you can do that with love too It's interesting how you can and it could be a moment for them Like a whole man, you're right And they can learn and it actually can help help them not do that in another part of their lives Or sometimes you you saw you read it fucking wrong And you know and they get you you get to get to the bottom of it Yeah, but I had a friend of mine one of my best friends dude. He was there on the beach

He's a he's a he's an interventionist So he travels 250 days a year. That's amazing dude. He's this guy I would love to have him come on. Would you ever be willing to come on here and talk about that? I can't speak for him right. I'd love for him to he fucking should but we'll see okay, uh Uh, but the very least man. Let's sometime like uh the three of us eat or even if I'm not there You should meet him. I'd love to meet a man. He's old. He's older than us too That's one of the things I love with him. Love about him in because he just All right, first time I met I thought like this guy his eyes were kind of going like this dude's an angel, bro

Damn, you know like that, you know, and you've met someone as bad vibes kind. It's like the opposite. Yeah, you know But he's you know, he's in recovery 33 years Wow, and I bet imagine him being on the front lines of seeing somebody have a moment that start to change our life That's his job every day. That's crazy. Every day and Why'd I bring him up? What were we talking about? We're talking about just like how sometimes, you know, uh You can um Oh, I know why he said to me the dopest shit about resentment because one time when I first met him

Um He had texted me a few times and I missed it and the second time he called left a message. I was like, oh, yeah I'll call him later. I fucking forgot like three three times. I basically blew him off And I called him back eventually he said hey, you know You made it pretty clear to me that you didn't want to continue our relationship And that's not how I felt at all. I just felt like hey, I'm a fucking artist I don't have to call people back. Everybody understands. I'm doing important shit, which I'm not really, you know I'm just doing my life. It's not any more important than anybody else is but in my head. That's really what I fucking thought

and He said you look maybe made it pretty clear you didn't want to continue the the relationship But now you're calling me so I see you you do But I wrote you a an email just getting ready to send And I'm gonna send it anyway so you can see where I'm at and because

Resentment has an appetite. I could never satisfy And that just stuck with me man. It's like you got a problem with somebody Even if your problem is not just you gotta you gotta say it You know you gotta say it that was yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he just called me out my shit Damn, it's nice when something can come through and and touch you especially like in Hollywood, you know Its ego is so dangerous and it's easy and it happens to us without us even knowing it So over the years, bro

snakes It's crazy slips like that snake and it fucking bit you dog It's not even like the snake bro. It's like a snake that bites you real slow Over 10 like a romantic snake. Yeah Yeah, the snake is like boop. You're gonna hospital mother fuck, you know Did you feel when that snake got you like it was something did was it anybody in particular? Did you like oh somebody sent this snake like was it there's no that's some louisian

God dammit jeffrey He got me I'm just saying man if a snake came all the way up to interstate snake don't don't go by the interstate What do you think it would have been like if I walked across louisiana? You think that would have been pretty cool. There's a lot of drunk drivers down there That's the only risky part outside of that. Yeah, I think it would have been right. I got some little swampy areas Oh, dude, your crotch would have definitely you could have your nuts would have turned into a real hornet's nest I bet oh my gosh, dude

Because yeah animals could live inside of your body down there They find dead people all the time they find a little animal in them like damn. What is this? What they died first then the animal went in or animal went in and killed them from the inside A lot of people think that how the animal get it like what kind of animals it's about some of those gerbils I'm just saying If something stops by at night and you've been putting on weight you won't even know You won't even notice Mike I would notice dude speak I could see you yeah my bad. I wouldn't notice man

Mike walked across america and uh And it's it's almost like you you went all that way to see to meet yourself in some ways man. It's wild 100% 100% it's captivating man. It's really really inspiring. Were you were you amazed by how many people were inspired by uh Like who who got on board and started to really feel inspiration from you Yeah, it was pretty great because you know doing you're doing the thing for yourself And then like I said, there's this shitty part of me as doing it for attention And you know, but you're able to recognize that and say those two guys gotta say it is a smaller part You know

But it's there But mainly you know And as I went along They got smaller and I really like after I by snake I shut down everybody walked with me because I didn't want anybody else to get hurt and it really became more like my journey, you know and uh It this is this is how I know because when I started to walk I thought when I finish I'm gonna go when I get to la

I'm gonna I'm gonna post on instagram And I'm gonna walk across la. I'm gonna have like a thousand people behind. Oh, yeah I'm sure they'll be in our head. You know, I'm gonna have this like news helicopters parade you know And then as I as I got closer I go dude, you don't even fucking want that. All you want to do is be there With the people you love the most. You know, it's not even the people you love the most be there with the people you want to see in that moment

and I didn't I didn't blow it up, but I actually did the opposite I did a post on I'm like, hey man As you guys know, I'm getting close And some of you some people been writing in like can we walk with you can we meet you at the end? Hmm. And I said, no You can't You know, you can't walk with me that day. I'm taking a vow of silence. I'm not taking any fucking selfies that day I'm going I'm just gonna finish it alone for me. And that's really what I wanted

And I had to ask for what I wanted and you know what happened. I walked across la man So people recognized me all of them respected that wow and they said, you know, they said Mike You know, we're not trying to slow you down. It's you know, finish up or keep going. Everybody was cool with it and But it's crazy you had to ask yourself for what you wanted. That's really interesting I asked myself, but what I wanted what I'm saying is it changed right The guy who the guy who started the walk had this had this goofy vision and get this validation from a lot of people being there He wasn't that's not really the guy that that made it to the other side So it's it was interesting like because I think part of that attention wanting part of myself

Had to be there for me to start But then when I did the thing man, like I think kind of died a little bit along the way You know, he didn't make it across Yeah, maybe a little bit he made across part. He's a little weaker now. I like that. Yeah Man, thank you so much, Mike for coming and talking anytime and and I just want to add last thing I know you're wrapping it up, but I didn't say this on the on the record. I told you before us how this whole thing started was, um You know in between Uh, my segments I would break up my day eight eight

Usually eight or eight eight four four us make 24 and it's it got a little longer towards the end But in between all my rips. That's why I call them on my eight mile rips A lot of times we would put your shit on dude. Just fuck because it's hard off. There's a grind I can imagine me and julien would be on there. We just put your shit on we like dude this guy Man, we'd be laughing so hard and then we could just listen one video, you know, we lose service Yeah, but what were you lose service? One deal von joe that lasts you like a month That nocturnal bus dude, we just like I'd leave you know, I'd leave I'd walk

Eight miles, you know, it takes me two two and a half two hours 45 whatever I come back man I've like dude. I'm chasing that bus dude that dream bus dude, you know, we just repeat that shit for like a month Yeah, one joke. That's awesome, man. I'm one joke. I'm glad I could be a little bitty part of it No, you helped so much man. So that's what I'm saying. I just chasing that buzz man. That shit is There's nothing like it It is there's nothing like it dude. Get it while you can bro Because that shit gets few and far between brother. What do you mean? Maybe the boss

Yeah, man that thing God man, there's nothing better than just Just blowing up in your sleep, bro. You didn't have to do anything And the girl's usually beautiful. It's usually a girl. You're really like I had some nightmare dream bus Damn dude, what the fuck? I had some nightmare dream bus Oh my god, dude. Horrible. I've never even heard of that. Yeah, it's where it's where Who would come in a nightmare, bro? No, I'm having sex in the dream But it's with a person I don't like oh and in the and in the there's I'm only think I think I only have it one time

If I'm being honest, but I'm having sex with somebody I don't like And I have no condom and I come in them Oh my god, and then and then I wake up and then I couldn't came in real life in a dream bus. I'm like Fuck man. This is how I'm starting this day off God, this is horrible. That's how half of America fucking got here to half of the people in existence It came became people just how you said Somebody they didn't even like them somebody didn't really really really like them at their core probably

Dude people have ejaculated into a lot of people. They didn't really enjoy I bet Yeah, that's unbelievable, isn't it horrible? horrible Yeah, that's a terrible note to end on. Yeah, it is man, but that's life, huh? Yeah Yeah What it is though, man You have a new album that's out too if people want to hear uh songs from across your journey Yeah, no, I actually made this made this thing before I left. Okay. I made an album basically for myself to listen to

When it got hard and so I made these songs And I got little messages from people I respect like steve tyler from arrow smith Yeah, he's amazing diddy and my mom and uh bum b e 40 and so there's songs and there's little messages from them basically saying what they wanted me to remember when it got hard and uh I made this this little project for myself remind myself who I am And then you know after I walked with it a little while I started to put put songs out and then I put the whole Mix tape out I call it mixtape, but it's the album. It's called keep going keep going. Yeah I'm gonna keep going man. That's right boy. Amen. I appreciate you all the all the all the um

Happiness in the world happiness. You gave me dude. I can't tell you how much we laugh Well, thanks man. I'll list you in the car on the way over just laughing I'm glad to I'm glad to be reminded that that's what I'm doing because sometimes yeah, you get a little bit confused You know as to what's going on the point, right? It's all making music or I'm walking across America, right? It's supposed to you know Nourish me make me a better person at the same time. Hopefully Help others along the way make their journey a little easier and what you're doing here Well, I think a lot of you know a lot of our listeners. I think are you know, or I mean It's what else it's what it's it's outside of the walk, you know

It's the it's the walk that's going on inside of all of us, you know I think a lot of young men and women and even strong lesbians are feeling that shit right now, bro. Everybody dude You know, so we're out there, man, but uh Thank you for being here, Michael. You got it. Appreciate it, man. Yeah For me to set that parking brake and let myself on Oh