This Past Weekend - TJ MIller | This Past Weekend #266

Episode Date: March 12, 2020

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_    TJ Miller http://instagram.com/teenagemillionaire  ----------------------------------------------------------- This episode brought to you by…   Mack Wheldon Visit http://MackWheldon.com and use code THEO for 20% off your order   Powerdot Visit http://PowerDot.com/THEO for 20% off your order   Skillshare Visit https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon to try 2 months of unlimited classes for free   Greyblock https://GreyBlockPizza.com  ----------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo   Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   -----------------------------------------------------------   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis -----------------------------------------------------------   Music   “Shine” - Bishop Gunn  http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn    -----------------------------------------------------------   Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon  Name Aaron Rasche Alex Bmayer Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Amy Love Andrew Valish Anthony Holcombe April Schultze Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Streit Brandon Woolsey Brian meek Chad Kleier Christopher Becking Christopher Burton Cody Anderson Cody Kenyon Crystal David Christopher Dentist the menace Dionne Enoch Dusty Baker Eric Tobey Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter James Schneider Jameson Flood Jayme Sta Jeremy Weiner Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joey Piemonte Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Julie Ogden Justin Doerr Kevtron Kyle Baker Kyle McGreevy Lacey Ann Lawrence Abinosa Lea Rashka Leighton Fields LJ Logan Yakemchuk Madeline Matthews Matt Nichols Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Miles Sadler Mona McCune myinitialsareOKbutimnot Nicholas Leach Nick Roma Noah Bissell Passenger Shaming Qie Jenkins Raye Vella Roxy Deputy Ruben Prado Ryan Hawkins Sagar Jha Scott Turnbull Shane Pacheco Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Tanner Marvel Taryn Feingold Theo Wren Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Tito Liebowitz Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Vanessa Amaya Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza. If you are wondering if you can have something in your mouth that feels like it's from another country, you can, Italy, and that is pizza. Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach, Gray Block, get that header. Today's guest is a, he's a film man and he's a comedian. And honestly, I don't even really know him that well.

So I'm gonna get to know him as you do. But I do know that he is the star of the Emoji movie, TJ Miller. It is, you know what, and I just, sometimes I like to have something, sometimes I'll wear some glasses that don't have any lenses or just something, I don't really like interviewing. So it makes me feel, or not interviewing,

but sometimes I'll just not, it's not really my strongest suit. So- Do you think? Yeah. Well, one of the things is you riff on your own and with the voicemails and stuff like that. So, you know, it's, and it's,

that's closer to stand up, right? Right. Than doing an interview. And then I find that other people are almost more comfortable interviewing. Like that's one thing that I've thought is really interesting about, I mean, the joke with Mark Marin's podcast

was always like fast forward through his part and get to the interview because he's such a good interviewer. Yeah. And then Joe Rogan, I think has slowly become more about the interview and being the interviewer than about it being comedic and all or anything like that. Yeah, he's not usually, he's not very comedic

or with some guess he is and some guess he isn't, yeah. But I think you do interviews really well, but that's interesting that you don't feel necessarily comfortable doing that because we were just talking about, I have this show called Goreburger where it's a giant blue alien puppet that interviews people and that was on Comedy Central

and there's a lot of it on YouTube. And that I felt really good and I was interested in interviewing it and he did, Goreburger did Snoop Dogg's GGN Network and it was just, it's interesting. And it's a real burger, it's a fake burger, but it's a. No, it's like, oh, there it is. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, wow. Yeah. It's a giant puppet and there's somebody else in the puppet. Is it you? But I'm, so I'm controlling his mouth using a radio controller and two other puppeteers are doing his eyes and sort of facial expressions. And so it's a lot.

Oh, it's like Joe Biden, you mean? It's a kid, it's got kind of the look, right? A little. He stumbles a little bit less, I think. Well, that's incredible looking. It's great. And so I do it with these two guys, the director brothers and it's a,

it feels a lot more comfortable for me, kind of what you're saying to interview somebody through the character because he starts off like this and he doesn't really know anything about human beings. And so he has kind of questions about what it's like to be a human. So the questions can kind of come from that angle instead of necessarily being, you know,

TJ Miller asking questions. Yeah. So yeah, I really, really like that. And then my podcast, caching in with TJ Miller is the conceit is that Cash Levy, he's a comedian and an improviser, a friend of mine that I tour with, he has an interview show, but he can never get another guest.

So I've been his only guest for like six years now. Oh really? So it's just you interviewing him every time? Yeah, every single time. But it's more absurdist and it's kind of, you know, the interviews aren't about, you know, what are you up to, what's going on with you? It's more stuff like, you know,

we have a thing where it's like, if you attach a handle to anything, does it become a ladle? Like if you put a handle on this, does it immediately become a ladle? Like a mitten? Right, a mitten would be a ladle. That's exactly right.

That would be a better, is that a better ladle than a glove? Or can you use each of the fingers for the separate things that you want a ladle? I think glove probably be better because a mitten is going to have too much liquid. He could get out of a mitten. Yeah.

He could run water across the house in a mitten when I was young and it's, it's anti-climactic. I'd love to know what the context of that is. Just not having a cup. Yeah, you just gotta get that water one way or another. And it's fast, you know, kids when you're being fast, you know, it doesn't matter. Well, can you relate you think to that?

And like, do you feel like you sometimes like, cause I feel like you, to me, like cause we don't know each other that well. Yeah, I know. We kind of have crossed paths mostly through stand up. Yeah. Yeah, do you feel like, and you always seem to me like a,

like, I always sometimes, sometimes with you I always, cause I always felt like there was like a fire alarm going off or something sometimes. Like, I get, that's the same kind of feeling I get sometimes. Like, yeah, not from you or that's around you. I'll take that, no, but I like that. Like somebody behind you or something pulled a fire alarm or maybe even you just pulled it on your own back.

And it's just like, there's like, There is that energy. I've never heard anything even close to that, but that's pretty right on. And sometimes it's the energy of me coming in, I live in New York now. So, and in, in Manhattan I do, and it's a much better speed for me.

Because I'll, I'll zip around. You live in Grinch Village, right? Yeah, in Grinch Village. And then I'll zip around to do three, four, five sets in a night. And that is a better energy for me to just like run from the subway to the club, go right up, do the set, like get paid, talk to the people,

then leave, run to the subway, get on the subway, get out of the, go to a different, that's kind of, I feel more comfortable in that energy. And I think that was always a problem for me in Los Angeles was that I had that energy, but here it's a lot more laid back, not just that Cali attitude, but also, you know, you do one show in a night,

maybe two shows. And if you're going to do two, it's like, spot at the improv and you'll make your way up to Laugh Factory. So there's no rush. There's no hurry. There's no need for energy like that. And then that energy-

It's more hype than hustle. It's more hype than hustle. Yeah, that's a good point. There's no hustle energy. Yeah, and so the hustle energy, but that also works when you do film and television, especially television, because they are moving quickly.

They need every minute cost this amount of money. And so they appreciate that I'm like, all right, let's go. Let's go. And then I just riff like, you know, five, six lines. Okay, is that good? Let's do it. All right, let's get the cameras in a different position. And you have moments of chilling and relaxing

on a film set, and sometimes people say it's a lot of waiting, but as soon as the knock comes on the trailer, or you gotta quickly get into it and go and they need you on set right away and you go in front of the camera and then boom, you gotta go. Do you feel like, like I feel like,

and I get, I don't know, I hope I'm not being judgmental, but I always feel like you're like, you remind me of like a character. Like you remind me of like a- That feels a little judgmental. No, no, no, no. I think that's right.

I mean, here's- Do you ever feel like that? No, here's the sort of character is like, I think it's funny. Like, I feel like you're so talented, man. I mean, in any of the films I've seen you in, anytime I've ever seen you perform, I'm like, I don't know what is going on inside of this dude.

Like this guy brought his own moons, you know? Like this guy's doing his own thing. But there's, you know, I think my character would be, it's just I'm equal parts eccentric and kind of ostentatious, but all of that is because I think it's funny. It's like, I don't really care how I look. I'd rather dress in a way that makes me laugh

and other people laugh. That's kind of fun. And then Kate, she sort of fits my wife. Kate is like, you know, also thinks it's funny. And she kind of likes that I dress like this just because it just clearly I don't give a fuck. You remind me of like kind of an Ignatius Riley. Do you remember, can you bring that character up?

But more handsome. He's from Confederacy of Dunstice. Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah. Do you ever feel, do you ever feel, cause you're the only person I know that kind of rocks a mullet, you know? Yeah.

And so do you ever feel a little within the contest of your accent and your sort of whole vibe? Do you ever feel kind of like a character or no? No, I feel like, I felt like- Or is that sort of true to who you are in your background? I think in my heart, it makes me feel good having longer hair. Nice.

And I always had like a big nose when I was, like I've always, I still have it. And I- I don't see that, but maybe it's there. A lot of brothers and sisters will come over to see what's up when I'm wandering around. So that's how I know. Some of my bird will stop down here,

you know, kind of look up it. You get close, you just get close. That's when you know. But, so I think for me, having long, I would see pictures of myself with shorter hair and it would make me feel, I don't know, longer hair, I feel like I can just hide a little bit. You know, I just feel sometimes like I need

a little bit more space from the world a little bit. That's really, that's interesting because there are, I think those are two types of comedians. They're sort of a comedian that really actually in real life doesn't want to be gregarious and outgoing and on and all that kind of stuff. And maybe even feels a little bit socially awkward. And then it sounds like you take some pains to sort of say,

okay, I need, you know, a little bit of space here, a little bit of that. And I sort of, I do a lot of things. I don't at all feel like I have to be on all the time, as you can tell right now. But I do kind of, I do exude this, oh yeah, a fire alarm or just like a truly nihilistic, don't give a fuck kind of thing.

But I'll change my appearance based on based on characters that I'm playing a lot. The first time I had long hair was for a character that had just gotten out of jail. And that for me, that's my fire alarm. That's the fire alarm going off. It needs new batteries. And I had, I grew long hair for it

and I kind of grew a beard. And then I sort of, some people started to say, oh, that's in fact, Chelsea Handler was like, you look a lot better with a longer hair because your head is so oblong, you know? And I think that's true. So that'll just kind of, yeah, then I'll kind of stick with it. And then Kate just kind of likes this,

Kate just kind of likes the, she likes a six and a half o'clock shadow. So I usually kind of keep that going. But yeah, I mean, I don't, I'm less concerned about my appearance. Like I'll cut weight for a role or I, when I did Silicon Valley, I always gained weight for that character for Erlich.

But just being like so like out, like you're out, you've, you seem like outspoken, even like at your spirit kind of. I like that. Like if that makes any sense, does it, is that, is it you, is it just you? Or do you feel like you like? No, that's me.

Cause it would seem exhausting to be able, like I, you know, it's like, it's like when you see a guy, like have those plates on the thing, you know, on the spikes on those things that they cut meat off or whatever, which I can do, by the way. Can you really? Yeah, I do a lot of circus art stuff actually in my act, right? That's perfect.

That makes perfect sense. But I can spin plates and I juggle cigar boxes and I'm a juggler. And my act now is like this one man philosophy circus. It's like, I have a ventriloquist dummy with a smaller ventriloquist dummy that has a slightly larger ventriloquist dummy and the audience plays the slide trombone

while I do one liners and there's juggling and glow in the dark juggling. Right. So you have, you need that much to be going on. I think that's what's fun for me. And I also love that show. I love the idea of it being a real like a show. So I have, I have more PT Barnum in me than Mitch Hedberg.

Yeah. And so that for me is kind of, yeah, that's my speed. Yeah. That's my speed. I also was born with an arteriovenous malformation. In your heart? No, it's, it's a brain condition where there's a malformation in your brain. In this case, it was in my frontal lobe.

And because the brain's so amazing, the elasticity of it allows it to sort of figure out how to act as a normal human being, but with less brain matter. And what we found, cause I have like a team of doctors that sort of monitor me and have since 2010 because I have a, I had the AVM hemorrhaged and I had to go and get it removed.

So I have a golf ball size piece of my brain that they took out. So right in my frontal lobe, there's like, you know, your brain is cold. And the front's important. That's a top. And so what I think happened was I have less frontal lobe than other people.

So it has to work double time. So I take a lot of medication, both to prevent seizures. And then one of the medications is to prevent seizures. It has seizure preventative like components to it, but it's also to control mania. And I'm prone to manic episodes. So I'm not bipolar. I'm not like a, I get depressed and then I,

but I am prone to manic episodes if I lapse and the, and those manic episodes are like, your brain just is moving so quickly and you don't know you're in a manic episode and you think, oh, well this must be this and it connects to this and this is this. And so sometimes I think that that may have contributed a little bit in addition to how hard I worked

in my work ethic with that's a bad mix. Yeah. I mean, just not your work ethic, but when you have to work really hard and you have some mental uncomfort going on and it's getting heavy, it's mix is scary. Isn't it? Yeah.

And it can also just be a lot of, can just be a go, go, go mentality. But I wonder, do I have that level of work ethic because I'm manic or does working that hard sort of egg on the mania? But I do really well, especially on the medication. It's just that, you know, that manic energy, I think in some ways.

Oh, I would, I'd take a dose right now. If you had, you know what I'm saying? There were times where I would take a dose of that if you had it. Yeah, too. Right. Cause you have so much going on. Yeah. I'd want a little manic energy. Oh, see this.

So this is the opposite. So the medication kind of pulls, pulls that. Do you ever monitor the medicine just to see, okay, maybe I'll take, you know, do five less millions so I can do what I can do. The only, no, no. Cause I can do what I can do on the medication. Yeah.

It's that if I start to get manic, then I'll take it more of it. I see. So it's almost like a... And I think for a long time, and now I don't smoke weed. It's pretty weird. Now I, right now I'm not smoking weed. And I also...

Hey Nick, somebody's here. And I was also... Hi. Good. We're doing a show. What are you there with? That's okay. What is it?

You want with the church? No, my name's Kevin. This is Jason. We're actually with T-Mobile. And we're just here to let you know that we recently upgraded our network. I'm just here to tell you, I'm Verizon. And not only do I have Verizon, I work for them.

So I'm gonna ask you guys to leave immediately. Yeah. Thank you, big fan of your, you guys but not your network. Yeah. Okay. We have the largest 5G network. Thank you.

All right. Hey guys. That's all right. Hi, Taylor. That's the T and T-Mobile. Let's get your tails out of here. You're so nice. I love too when you were like y'all from the church

that there was an energy. I thought they put the church, that first guy was throwing church energy. Yeah. He did have church energy. And then he had the little backup guy who was on the recovery energy. I like how he kind of went around.

Yeah, yeah, dude. Can I, am I part of it now? The original guy did. He was wearing exactly what you would wear if you were like, so are you, are you familiar with Jesus Christ and the Latter-day Saints? Or you just know about Jesus.

We want to talk to you about all the Latter-day Saints. We're talking about the Latter-day Saints. You know what I'm talking? Bobby A. Bear, Pat Swilling. I mean. We want to talk about all the greats, man. Drew Brees. Yeah.

The greats. They used to, bro, one time a Jehovah's Witness came over when I was in Tucson and I had like no friends, man. Did you grow up religious? I grew up going to church sometimes. Okay. So, but there was a lot of like just religion in the area. You know, a lot of people.

Because when you have- Yeah, that is that area, right? Yeah. And when you have smaller environments, people don't have as many places to go get together. So it's like a lot of times church is a place also where you just get to see other people. Yeah, yeah.

It's community more than it's about the God of it, right? Yeah. So a lot of times you'll go and you take your kids because they get to play with other kids. Right. But yeah, this man, when I lived in Tucson, I was really struggling in college. And this man-

You said you didn't have a lot of friends? Yeah, I was just like real depressed and I just didn't have a lot of friends and this Jehovah's Witness would come over and then I had video games out. And then he was definitely slacking for the Lord because he would come over- Slacking for the Lord was also the name of his autobiography.

Yeah, probably. Slacking for the Lord. Well, he would come over and just play video games, dude. That's so good. So it was almost like you're like, I get a friend out of God and he's like, and I get to play video games. Yeah.

That's a good, it's a symbiotic relationship. So that's interesting to me that you, you know, you seem a little bit and tell me if this is not the case. No, it's okay, I already give that to you once. Yeah, right, exactly. No, but I think this is actually an interesting thing that we like know each other

but don't know that much about each other. So I just would never have taken you as a guy that had any kind of depression, any sort of feelings of like, I could use a little bit more manic energy, any kind of with longer hair, glasses or a scarf, I give myself a little space from there. To me, you felt like kind of a crazy good time guy

who was, you know, down to party whenever, but that wasn't your identity. It's just like you were sort of comfortable in any situation, whatever. And that's sort of how I see you when you're on stage is you have this energy of that with the audience. So that's really interesting because I would say that I'm as quick to get,

I feel as comfortable with people on stage as I do off stage. I feel pretty comfortable being out and about. Kate a lot of times is like, T.J., you have to stop burping in public. Like you just burped like 10, 20 times and you're just passing by people and I'm very loud.

So a lot of times she's like- Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah. I'm not joking. I was talking to one of my friends on the way over here and he's like, oh, I see that guy in our neighborhood. Sometimes he's always really loud on his phone. Is that real?

And he was starting an ice cream parlor. That's what my buddy said. Where was it in New York? In New York, yeah. Really? And I said, I don't know. I just, you know, I said, I don't know. That's the ice cream parlor

because I want to go and support it if he opens it up. No, he said you were starting one, it sounded like, but he also could have been eavesdropping from somewhere. I have never intended on starting an ice cream parlor, but I definitely would have said something like that. I could see you in there. Yeah, I think that's the problem is I don't, I'm not as aware of my surroundings.

I'm just aware of like, what is the mission statement? What are we trying to do? Or how are we having fun? So it's not really, so it's not like a thing you're putting on. It's just, that's who you are. No, and I really- And if anything, it's even something

that's even more like in your system. If you have, I mean, that's wild, bro. If it's a part of your lobe, I can't even imagine that. It's pretty crazy. And I never even noticed anything about it or thought anything of it until it becomes sort of like a medical emergency because that, I did a bit about it on,

this is not happening, but that surgery, they came in and they go, so this is a pretty serious like surgery. And I was like, yeah, I assume you're opening up my fucking head. And they sort of were like, so about, it's a 10% fatality rate. So about one in 10 people who get this surgery done die.

And I was like, okay, what happens if I don't get the surgery? Cause it was elective. He said, you don't have to get it. So this is one out of 10 people die or you don't have to get it. I said, well, what happens if you don't get it? And he was like, mm, you probably die in your mid 30s.

And I was like, let's roll the dice and get the surgery done, right? One out of 10 ain't bad, in my opinion. You know, that's the 10th Joe Jackie he drawn. That's some Dungeons and Dragons shit right there. That's the 10 side to die, I'll take it. And so, you know. Did it take away any of your hit points,

you think after you got it? Like, is there times where you can feel an idea kind of going in and then there's just like. So that's a great point. So what I said was I said, you know, I said, so the main thing I want to ask you is, will I still be funny after the operation? And the guy was like, what?

And I said, like, if I get the operation, will I still be funny? Cause that's my work. I'm a comedian. And he goes, I mean, does it, he almost was like, does it matter? Don't you want to like live and not have a brain hemorrhage? And he said, I mean, I assume so.

I don't, you know, you're not using that part of your brain now, it was malformed in the womb. So when we remove it, we're not removing any of your like cognitive efficiencies. You're not cognitively deficient right now. So we wouldn't see why taking out a part of your brain that you don't use would. So I think so.

I said, cause if it's not going to make me funny, kind of almost rather do the maybe die in your mid 30s thing. And that floored the whole room. All of the doctors were like, that doesn't seem like something we'd ever really heard. That doesn't check out. Yeah, yeah. Cause you get bigger than a lot of people.

Is it true when you said that though? Did you really? Yeah, of course, of course. But I also have a very interesting relationship with death, both like philosophically and following some philosophers, specifically Epicurus, which he has this great quote, which is like, cause people would have always come to him

who were afraid of death, which was mostly actually in Greece, noblemen and people of great wealth because they kind of knew that all the church like stuff was bullshit. But yeah, that's it totally. I mean, that's, you know, it's like Zeus and all that era of stuff,

but they would be scared about it. And so they would say, you know, I'm afraid of death. And he would say, why? Because they had stuff too. Yeah. You don't want to die if you have stuff. Right, exactly. If you don't have anything, you're like,

I can, let's check out a little. Yeah, let's see what's going on here. Yeah, let's see what the next step is. That's hilarious. Maybe I'll get a car in heaven. You know, I take the fucking bus here on earth. And so he says that when you are, death is not and when death is, you are not.

So you really never cross paths with death. So why would you even worry about it or fear it? Cause you'll never encounter it. And so I was studying that stuff like on my own in high school and then kind of became an absurdist and sort of a nihilist as I entered college. Definitely. And yeah, right.

You can feel it. You can feel that. Yeah. Oh yeah. If other people are picking for the basketball team in PE and you're like, you know, you and death never really meet each other. You just kind of cross paths.

Yeah, right. Exactly. But even quite that. I'm a guy that did, so I did the emoji movie in part because I like to entertain children. I want those movies to be funny so that the parents don't want to like beat themselves over the head with a sledgehammer.

Cause they have to watch those movies all the time. If a kid likes a movie, they're watching over and over and over. But I also do, excuse me, I did that movie, Yogi Bear 3D and I did Transformers and I did the emoji movie because I won a funny credit for my standup. So now when I get introduced, now you don't introduce me as like

TJ Miller from Deadpool or Silicon Valley. It's, you know, young kids sometimes will come up to me and they'll be like, so how do you want me to introduce you? And you can tell they kind of are like, I want to get this right. So let me just, you know, get it really clear cause they're expecting me to say like,

well, I'll just do this and this and this or whatever that, whatever people do. And I'll be like, just to star the emoji movie. And they're like, but what do you, what do you want me to introduce? Is that what you want me to introduce you guys? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then kind of fuck with them all go.

But I mean, really hit star like the star of the emoji movie. Okay. And it's good to emphasize emoji also cause that's what the movie's about. And you can hit movie also cause it is a movie. So just, but really hit star. So the star of the emoji movie.

This guy's losing his mind up there. I know he's just like, is he serious? Is he kidding? Is he whatever? But I always finish, I always follow that up with like, I honestly don't give a shit clearly cause I'm telling you the emoji movie. And so that's kind of how I approach life.

It's like, I'll do entire films sort of for the service of the joke of a standup credit being that thing. So that's kind of my approach to life generals. I really don't take it seriously. And people say, don't take life seriously. It's like, no, I really do not take any of it seriously. It's truly, I'm an absurdist and it's really, really fun. But so within the context of what you asked

about the doctors and is that true that you, I really was sort of saying, if I can be who I am and continue to make people laugh, cause that's what's important to me, not to be famous, not to have people like me or laugh at like, laugh at the things that I say, but it's to make people happy. If I only have, I forget how old I was then,

but it was like, if I only have a decade or so left to keep doing what I'm doing now, and I feel so blessed to be doing, and I would only say blessed on your podcast cause it feels appropriate. I appreciate that. Within the context. I'll bring the guys right back in.

Yeah, come back in. We're feeling blessed in here. Blessed enough to try out T-Mobile's national network. Hey, Verizon is the only network that streams straight to the Lord though. That's right. I'm sorry, we start pitching to them. We're like, you get unlimited data and unlimited wishes

about what your heaven will be like. We should have, man. God. So I sort of, I seriously, I was like, I'm so blessed, unlimited wishes, what's your heaven? Data and wishes. Also, you don't get wishes in heaven.

That's a genie. I don't know where the fuck that came from. Dude, it could be your heaven though. It could happen if you wanted it. Yeah, it could be the wishes. You could get to the wish in heaven, the unlimited data and wish in heaven. But I, yeah, I think I was very, very deadly serious in fact,

that I would rather continue to make people happy and do what I feel so lucky to be doing than kind of no longer be funny and just live longer. I've never understood why that is the goal to just live as long as you can. It's not some race. It's not the competition or anything like that. So you should really want to live, you know.

Purposefully or something, yeah. 20 years more with purpose, with sort of reward, with feeling in and of yourself, with kind of self-efficacy and those things. Rather than just go like 50 years to then retire and go on cruise ships. Now, if that's living purposefully, I talk about this in my act a little bit,

if living purposefully is understanding- Because that can change from person to person. If, you know, I look at somebody who works at State Farm and I don't think like, oh geez, nine to five, two weeks of vacation and then you retire and go on Carnival Cruises. And it's like, no, if that person is smart, what they'll do is say, I work in an industry

where I help people feel safer, where when the inevitable happens, it doesn't cripple them financially. I have a consistent job, so I can consistently provide for my family and see my wife. By adding purpose to their life, yeah. Yeah, and be able to be present for my relationship.

And then all I want to do is go on Carnival Cruise Lines and see the world. There's nothing better. It's unlimited seafood. Yeah, and pineapple. You get as many scallops and pineapple. And I usually do a scallop pineapple sort of mix. Take two rings of pineapple,

put the scallops in between and that's from a scallop beyond apple sandwich. But I think, so I don't, I think everybody can sort of live with purpose and live well. And people sometimes look at me and they go, oh wow, you know what I mean? You just, you couldn't have a better situation than TJ.

And it's like, you know, Kate and I have a really, Kate and I have so much fun that I went before the podcast to part of a movie with her. So she wanted to see this movie and I just wanted to go so we could like see 20 minutes of it together. I was like, I'm going to take off so I'm not late to the podcast

because we got to leave later too because she's going to Dallas with me. But that's very rare. She doesn't go. So I only see Kate three days a week. So because like you, I'm on the road every weekend. Do you tour every weekend? Yeah, I see that you're touring a lot.

Yeah, and I see you crisscrossing also. Yeah, same. Well, quick question to get back. I'll just want to, so do you find though that sometimes like it, does it ever affect like your, because the way you are is very unique. You agree with that? Yeah, I would say so.

But the way you are is very unique. Well, thank you. I appreciate that, man. No, that's true. It's not like a compliment because you gave me a compliment. It's just like, I think the best standups really, I mean, we all talk about having our own unique voice, but the best standups have sort of slowly,

not even whittled down, but molded and shaped what it is that makes them wholly unique into a funny version of that, that they can share with an audience on stage. Well, I never wanted, I remember when I was always like, I don't care if they remember a joke, I just want them to remember me. That's what I wanted.

That's so smart. I just wanted to be remembered. And he was like, or not even remember, I just wanted to be, yeah. What did he say going? Well, I think that's interesting and tell me if you agree that people don't go to see the material, they go to see you.

And so you can have the best material in the world. You can, Mitch Hedberg has some of the greatest one-liners, Stephen Wright, but the way that they were, that's what you're really remembering. You can quote jokes, but you wouldn't be able to quote jokes if that was just a not memorable person.

And then some people figure that out, and maybe they're not super hilarious, but they decide, I'm gonna stop being me and be Larry the Cable Guy, and now I own a jet and live on a thousand acres. A jet that you can grill on top of too. Yeah, oh my God, definitely. And so it is, I think it's that.

It's not your material, it's you. And a big part of, I think, why I'm successful in film and television is I sort of seem like, and I really have this energy in real life, like you and I would be friends. That's to everybody watching, they're like, oh, he's really funny,

but they're like, I bet I'd get along with that guy, you know? And that has more to do with me. And I do this all the time. I wouldn't say I talk to strangers all the time, but I'm always joking with people, not to get laughs, but because I wanna add to their day. So like, yeah, and I'm sure you do the same. Yeah, sometimes, yeah, I'll definitely check in

with people as much as I can when I'm just wandering around in person, just to get, yeah, tell somebody something nice, make somebody smile, that kind of stuff. Yeah, I love giving compliments, especially to girls, you know? And I do it a lot when I'm with Kate so that they immediately know, like,

oh, he's not being creepy, because I don't do it in a creepy way, but sometimes if you're like, it's like you're trying to raven over to fucking drop a note into a lady's. Yeah, it's almost always a crow. And so, you know, I think that one of the things that I do like doing is kind of joking with people,

or I love to ask people questions that they aren't usually asked. So I sort of, I'm very interested in people in the component of, you know, I'll say to, if I go and see a movie, I'll say, what have you seen that you like? And it's this, and then I'll ask them, how is impractical Joker's doing?

And then he'll say, you know what? It's not doing as well, to be honest with you. And I was like, do you think that's because this is the arc light? Or do you think that that might be happening across the board? And he's like, I don't know. I mean, I guess the arc light

maybe wouldn't be the demographic, but you know what, we get this, this, and this, and those all did really well. Like, do you think it's because you see it for free? Like, it's on TV, and it's on TV a lot, and he was like, yeah, that's a really good point. It's kind of free, and then now you're asking them to pay for it.

And I say, do you think that they kind of basically taught people we do this for you for free? You can just turn us on whenever. And now they're saying like, you gotta leave your house, get in your car, go to the, and you're gonna want popcorn, all this stuff. And he goes, yeah, I do, I think that's the case. And then he goes from being-

Who is he? He's the guy taking the ticket, selling tickets. So then he goes from a ticket taker, and the guy working behind the computer, to now somebody who said- Who's thinking about the world that they're working. And also just gave me an analysis that only he can really give.

And I could see him be like, yeah, I think that's exactly right. And I'm like, I think you're right. And then there's this great moment where he's just like, badass, dude, I do. Yeah, I connected the dots for this guy who's dressed like a fucking lunatic. And I think is from the,

I think he's the star of the emoji movie. And- The. The star. That's right, you're right. I gotta start telling him to hit the- Yeah, dude. Yeah, you gotta hit each of them at different levels.

I'm gonna draw out a chart that's like, we want the sort of really high. Star's gotta be a little bit higher. Emoji here, cause we want him to know what the movie's about. But movie doesn't, it can kind of be here. Cause they know it's a movie, it's good to remind them. So the star. And then actually, of can be down here.

Let's put of here. Yeah, let's go bear it. The star of the, actually do this as a half the, the emoji movie. Yeah, let's get that going. I'll play, I play an audio recording for him that I did. And I'm just like, let me text this to you for my work phone. So you have it and you can think about it

before you go on stage. This is bad news. This podcast is gonna ruin many an opener's life throughout the next decade. Do you think though, do you think? So with your energy, the way that you are, it's a unique way. Do you think that it doesn't fit sometimes

like in the template of things? Yeah, but I try and adjust. Cause the last thing I want is for people to be uncomfortable because again, I'm not really focused on me as much. If anything, I'm focused too much on other people. I hate to let people down. Kate said last night I had to cancel a show and I hate canceling shows.

And she said, you have to be able to cancel the show. You're double booked. You're not gonna be able to do it. I need you in this situation. And so then I canceled and the booker Jay Davis who's awesome and is always one of those guys that believes in me, texts me every month or so to be like, hey, I know you're in New York,

but let me know when you're in Los Angeles. Nice guy. He's a really good dude and cares a lot about comedy. So I felt bad canceling, but he was totally cool. He was like, no problem, let me know when you get back. So Kate has to sometimes remind me like it's okay to let people down when you need to sort of put yourself first.

She'll actually say, Yeah, she sounds like real great. You need to put yourself first a little bit more, TJ. I appreciate that you're doing what you're doing, but you gotta think about putting yourself first because otherwise your family's pulling you in one direction, your friends are pulling you in one direction, the bookers are pulling you in another direction,

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to start your two months now. That's skillshare.com slash theovon. And do you, I feel like, so right now, are you going through like a rebuilding phase in your work? I feel like, because you're getting back out on the road. Yeah, I mean, now I am wholly focused on stand up because I think- Just because I started to see like different,

I was like, oh, wow, did you get a little strenuous? I mean, I'm doing like 50 weeks out of the year and I take time off when it makes sense to be with Kate or really good news that I got yesterday. The film that I did with Drew Barrymore got into the Tribeca Film Festival. That's in New York City. I only have to walk 15 minutes to get there.

And that's great because I'm gonna take those two weeks, sort of the weekends, I either like move those and then take those two weeks and they're the perfect clubs because Helium in Philadelphia and then Omaha. Which, do you work the Omaha Funny One with Colleen Quinn? Colleen Quinn, she's so sweet and she officiated our wedding.

Did you really? She married Kate and me and here's the strangest part. Yeah, and here's the strangest part. She's hot too. Yeah, she's beautiful. Kate chose that. I didn't say, hey, I love this comedy club owner. Kate had visited a couple of times and she's like,

she just has this energy, I really want it. So I was lucky, it's that club and then another club that I'm very close to those people that are sort of booking and own those clubs. And so I'm gonna move that chunk and then just be in New York for the Tribeca Film Festival and I'll do sets in New York. I all the time will do three, four, five.

It's a big part of why I moved there. Right. And but outside of that, I'm touring every weekend because I realized that I was doing so much film and television stuff that just with regards to stand up, that maximum during Silicon Valley, I could really do a sort of a bus tour

and then maybe some clubs, but that's just a month, that's just 30 shows. It's just 35 shows out of the year. You know, you do 35 shows in six weeks when you're on the road. And so now I'm really trying to put in the time and grind and hustle enough to not just be a really good comedian,

but hopefully be a great comedian. And you know how much work that takes, you know? It takes a lot of work. And then there's the road as a whole different skill set. Like I'm so in awe of you guys and the way I did Adam Ray's podcast, I just did Tiger Belly. I'm really in awe of the way that you guys

have the business acumen to have built these podcasts. Cause I, what I love about them is it helps your touring, but it really does connect with your audience and you're providing something with them that sort of stand up ask, but also has a lot to do with pulling back the curtain and saying, this is Theo Vaughn and this is Theo Vaughn with different people.

And this is what Theo Vaughn is interested in about the other people. And this is what comes, I think that's really amazing. Yeah, it's a place I feel like I don't have to be scared a lot of times. Sometimes it's still kind of scary, you know? Yeah, of course, I would assume. Yeah, I definitely, and it surely started out

that way doing podcasting was like a place I felt like that I didn't have to be, I don't know, just, it's just, it's such a, life's hard to learn by yourself, you know? And a lot of people these days are, a lot of us are, a lot of people are kind of by themselves or feel that way, I think, you know? Especially with social media,

which was supposed to connect us. I know. That's just you online looking at people that couldn't be further away from you and completely anonymous. It's very, very strange. Yeah, so I think podcasting does a little bit at Brit. It's a little bit more, yeah, like it's long form.

It's like you get to, you kind of get to enjoy someone for who they, for what they are and what they aren't. You know, it's like you just get to, it's almost, it's kind of like a lesson a little bit in acceptance, even when I watch other guys' podcasts and stuff, it's like, man, I might not agree with everything or that they say or some of their ideas and stuff,

but, you know, I care, I do care about that person. So it's like you get into it, you know? It's that, I don't agree with you say it, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it. Yeah. So you really are kind of, yeah. That's only in acceptance. And I think wrote it on his tomb, didn't he?

I think he definitely did. It was not his tumbler, right? Yeah. I watched it on his tumbler and I steal all that stuff and I use it in conversation. It's mostly. How is Tumblr, not a new site. Yeah, right, Tumblr.

Yeah, I like Tumblr and the Twitter. Yeah. We had a video question that came in. Let's see it. Let's see it. Because do they now know that we're on the air? Lady? She looks Canadian.

No, we put it out on social media. These are all, they knew you were coming in. Yeah, nothing's live. We just put it out there. That's great. This is great. I love that he said, did you look Canadian? She does kind of look Canadian.

Happy, joyous, outdoors as wood in the background. Yellow hat. She's got a scarf like you. One's a little space from the trees. Yeah, one's a little space from the space she's in. Space from the space. Hi, TJ, hi Theo. My question's for TJ.

Can she hear me? Turn it up. No. Just kidding, I'm kidding. People ask that. Really? Oh yeah. Eddie Bravo talked back.

I like a video question. Eddie Bravo talked back someone for 11 minutes straight before he realized it was a video. Yeah. Hi, TJ, hi Theo. My question's for TJ. I was wondering, what was the first sandwich that you fell in love with?

Was the first what? She's definitely not Canadian. She said sandwich. Oh, I like, did you think she said armoire? I did. Ah! The first armoire I fell in love with was my parents, my parents, not bedroom,

but it was in the second floor. I remember right at the center I thought, is that an armoire? Is that a chest of drawers? What is that? And my mother said, no, that's an armoire. And I said, it was love at first chest. No, first sandwich I ever fell in love with,

I think, yeah, there's this sushi restaurant in Greenwich Village. We have a couple of places that we go and we eat and we feel safe. Actually, I relate to you a little bit in what you're saying in New York and in general, but it's a little bit more to do with feeling scared that people are, I mean, it doesn't freak me out so much,

but the fact that that guy's like, he was really loud and is he starting an ice cream parlor? That reminds me of something that I don't think about very often, which is I'm famous. People kind of know who I am. Right. And so we really pick and choose, we can curate where we go.

So we don't go to many places in New York. There's a jazz club that we feel very safe. There's another great jazz club, but we don't go there because that doesn't feel safe to us. It's younger people, people are drinking a lot more. It's not as much about the jazz. So we can't go places where we become the focus. And then there's certain restaurants,

which is a restaurant called Four Charles Prime Rib. You can't really get a reservation there. You're not allowed to take pictures or talk to other customers really unless they're engaged and you're connected by the maternity. There's only 12 tables. There's a sushi restaurant that we go to that only has 14 seats.

It's a sushi bar and it's just two employees. And then this, it's called Omakase room by Tatsu and Tatsu is the chef and he's one of the great- So you guys pick and choose where you guys spend time. We really do, but the last course, it's Omakase. So it's an 18 course meal. Each course is just a piece of sushi. And the last piece is his uni.

It's the eel and he torches it, but also grills it and does it in a way. And the first time I had it, immediately I went back to my childhood when my mother used to make a tuna fish sandwich on white bread with the crust. And it tasted exactly the same. And that was the first, I would always ask my mother, can I have a tuna fish sandwich?

Because she had the perfect, the tuna to mayo. Yeah, tuna to mayo ratio. Right, that's it. The perfect ratio. You can't have a novice thing. I was struggling and then he goes, tuna to mayo. Yeah, she had that exact thing down.

And sometimes she put relish in it, but really she just, she had the ratio just perfect. Now it's the first one I fell in love with. And now as an adult, I'm really obsessed with the perfect hamburger. And that's all about ratio also. That's all about which elements you're putting in how much of it.

So there's a couple places that have the best burgers I've ever had in Los Angeles, Burger Lounge is really up there. And then- Over on Sunset? No, Pasadena. There's one in Largeston Village, what? In Pasadena, there's a Burger Lounge. Is there?

It's so good, it's all grass fed beef. And then in- Look, the cow can do whatever he wants on his own time, dude. What I'm saying is, is the burger good, man? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's true too. But the grass fed for some reason tastes better to me. And then there's a place in New York called BRGR,

which has sort of the perfect kind of, it's just perfect. And there's a place called Burger Joint, which is in a hotel. And that's sort of perfect ratio, but a very different burger. And then there's a famous hamburger in another place where we feel safe called Manetta Tavern.

Have you ever played the comedy seller? Yeah. So it's right on that strip on McDougal. And Manetta Tavern has something called the Black Label Burger. And that's $36 to buy that burger. And it is well worth it. You can only get a couple a year or something,

but it's the highest quality meat. It's the perfect, and you don't really put ketchup, mustard, or mayo on that. It's just kind of the burger, and then they do caramelized onions. Like the sashimi of burgers, huh? Yeah, kind of, yeah, right. And then I do cheese with it,

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Take care of your own self. Use Power Dot. So you have, there was something that I was in, that I was, whenever you had the, we got a question right here. What's up Theo? What's up TJ? What's up player?

I'm from Arkansas. Had a quick question for you, TJ. Do you have it in every one of your contracts that no matter what you can do, whatever the fuck you want with your facial hair, kind of looks like you just wing it every time. And I think it's awesome. Gang, gang.

Gang, bro. Yeah, yeah. Jinyang, I love that he's from our Kansas. He's got, he's obviously on break. He's got the safety vest on. The ARK. Safety first, baby. You know, I think that's, that's a good point.

And also from a gentleman with great facial hair. Look at how he's right in the middle. He's got nothing going on. He's doing what I'm doing, which is taking off the sole patch, but he's got a good sort of length of beard. Good on you, man. It's not in my contract, but I think it's understood.

Just like that I'm going to improvise. So you can't expect me to just do the lines as written. Even sometimes I'll say, I don't think this is the right line. Yeah, I'll notice that even when I'm watching you on there, I'm like, he had, there has to be. Yeah. And I'll, I'll sort of, I'm not going to come and say,

I don't like that line. What else do you got? Because I'm a writer. I'll come and I'll say, okay, I don't think that's really the funniest line or doesn't quite fit here. So here's about five other options that I came up with and let's talk like, what do you think would be good?

So just like people expect that they kind of know that I'm going to do with my appearance, what I want. The Drew Barrymore film, which is called The Stand In. In The Stand In, I did, I cut weight and had the same facial hair and haircut as my former manager. Berry cat? That's the, no, that's the character that I'm sort of playing.

Is that, is that manager that I split amicably with? Mm-hmm. And, and so they just knew, I talked to the director about it, but they just know I'm going to have a very specific idea. The weirdest thing that ever happened to me with regards to can I do whatever the fuck I want is I did this movie called Ready Player One.

I should say this picture called Ready Player One. And I was really nervous the night before. I just was like, I'm not really an actor. I'm a comedian. Should I be reading an acting book or something? I'm about to go in and Steven Spielberg is going to direct me. And so is that, should I be more prepared?

And I was just pacing outside of the weirdest state that they put us up in around this fountain. Just pacing, pacing, pacing. And finally, I was kind of like, you know what? You've never worried about this with any other film. Like just change your voice. That's what you do for everything. That's what you did for Weasel and Deadpool.

That's what you do, you know, he sort of talks like this and then Erlich from Silicon Valley sort of talks more like this. And I was like, okay, let's figure out what is the, and I thought about it and it's like, he's a bounty hunter in this video game world. He's obviously a nerd because he plays video games nonstop all the time.

It's how he makes his money, everything. I said, well, who would be his idol, Boba Fett, right? I mean, obviously that's who we all love from Star Wars. And this guy's actually a bounty hunter. So I just studied Boba Fett's, he only has like five lines. Oh wow, just kind of cop some of that vibe. Yeah, cop that vibe and then went in

and I was like, all right, I'm just going to ask Steven Spielberg, you know, does he think this is a good idea? And if it's not, then I'm just going to say to him, you know, I'm open to anything else and just let him kind of direct, you know, because he obviously has ideas. Is he handsome guy, Steven Spielberg?

Is he a handsome guy? The Ovan, first person for that to be, not only the first question, but also, yeah, well, let's pull him up. But I think, yeah, he's a handsome guy. He's definitely got an iconic look. He kind of, he's got a little bit of a look like you. Look, there he is.

Yeah, handsome guy, but like, he's got his own look. Well, yeah, I can see him. You look like David Spade's dad. He does look a little like David Spade's dad. We're getting some serious nodding in the booth with that observation. And that means we're right on it. I could, yeah, I could.

And it does not nod very much. But he's the nicest guy, but think how intimidating. So I go up to him and I say, so I was thinking, you know, his idol, this Iraq, this Iraq's idol would be Boba Fett, you know? Because that's the, so I thought I would change my voice and kind of talk like Boba Fett.

What do you think about that? And he goes, yeah, I think that's great. Let's, yeah, let's do that, whatever you think. And it was so insane to have this guy kind of go, well, it's obviously whatever you want it to be. Yeah. Because to him, he hired you. I heard Woody Allen is like this.

He hired you and hiring you was the last he wants to do with you, you're supposed to figure out what you're going to do. And he trusts that you're, that's the reason he hired you was, and even in that one, I said, thank you Steven Spielberg for having me in your movie. And he said, oh yeah, no, there's no one else.

We wrote the part for you. And I thought, oh my God, that's crazy. But it's that he thought about the movie. He's a fan of mine has been helping me throughout my career and was like, TGL do great with this. So whatever he wants to do, he'll do with it. And it worked out really well. And he'll give you notes and stuff, obviously,

but it's really notes on how to improve your performance. But as far as the facial hair and that one, I did, they did give a fuck because I had to shave because I was in the game. And so I had to have 150 black dots all over my face where one of those skin tight suits with the ping pong balls all over it and a helmet with two little cameras and lights.

So I was all motion capture for the most part. So it was really, that was a crazy experience, but I guess the real answer to that question is, yes, or no, I do not in my contract say, I can do whatever the fuck I want with my facial hair. Sometimes Steven Spielberg wants you to be a clean baby boy's butt on your face. You got to show up diaper ready.

Diaper ready. Do you find that like having, so having like a kind of a, you know, I don't know if it's like whimsical. Do you feel like whimsical a lot of times? Like, you know, we're getting back to like some of the mania and stuff you're talking about. Like, do you feel like that you're in control

of yourself a lot of times? Or does it feel like almost uncontrollable? It's very rare that I would feel like, okay, I'm out of control here with my thinking, but it has happened. I missed a day on Silicon Valley because I had a manic episode that night. And when I say manic episode, I mean,

I thought that there were birds flying by, there were actually drones, which were probably bats. And I thought, I really remember so vividly I was loading an internet page and it said, visit China, come see China, China, China, China. And then it changed. So I thought for sure they were watching me through the- That could have been real.

The camera, I know, for reals. Well, that's why- I went to Shanghai recently, it's okay. That's why in the main, I don't think I'll ever go, that's why in the main, in the mania, in the midst of a manic episode, you, of course, you're like, that could be real. But in mania, you're like, that's definitely real.

And so I smashed the computer and because I was afraid they were watching me through the, and you get, and all of this makes complete sense to you. But I would say that's happened five or 10 times in my entire life. It's much more, and when you say it sends a whimsy, whimsy, the first thing I think of is Kate, because Kate is really, she talks about that a lot.

She likes, I love a sense of whimsy. She likes things that are whimsical. I think it's kind of, I'm pretty carefree. And it's really a positive nihilism. It's like, if none of this means anything, then anything can mean everything. That's sort of the positive nihilist viewpoint. If nothing means anything, then you decide what,

because anything can mean everything. So for me, it's making people laugh and doing that. And that's why a nihilist, a true nihilist, would never have a conversation with a religious person and be like, there's no God, there's, you know, what are you talking about? None of this means anything. You wouldn't do that.

That's somebody who's like dogmatic and not truly a nihilist. Right, that's somebody who's more trying to push their agenda maybe? Yeah, because if truly nothing means anything, then who cares? Yeah, there's a God, whatever. Even saying there's not a God doesn't mean anything. All that language is totally meaningless.

Right, and if someone believes it, why take them to task if it makes them feel comfortable or them feel good? Yeah, and that is, I think, a beautiful thing. And positive nihilism is this idea of you make your own meaning. That's, we all in effect have become that concept of God where you can completely make your life meaningful

in any way shape or form. Again, the state farm agent where it's like you can make meaning in that or you can take other people's meaning and feel bad in which you had a better car and always want the next biggest television. All that stuff, but then again, is a positive nihilist, I'm going,

but if wanting a bigger car is gonna make you happy and having the next television or the next best television and that's really important to you and you work hard because of that, then great. That's the meaning that you've made. Right. And so you get, it gets to a place like you were talking about acceptance.

You get to a place of really being accepting of other people and what they want and need and do. The only thing I don't, not very accepting of is hecklers. Do you get a lot of hecklers? Only in Oxon Hill, Maryland last weekend. That was really the only place. He's like, steer clear, Oxon Hill. I got, what happened to me?

Oh, I got, whenever my career started to get busier about a year ago, I started to have a lot of control issues that I didn't realize that I had. Like I didn't realize how controlling I kind of was. Like I just, In terms of what? I just gotten used to being in a club and knowing what the space was like in the environment.

And then I felt so responsible for everybody's joy at the show in a theater and you can't see them or anything. Like, I don't know if a lot of people realize in a theater, you're just looking at lights a lot of times or even almost on any stage, you're just looking at lights. Like you can't, it's almost like two people trying to park boats and you can't direct them. They're not listening in the, you know,

and you like park the boats and shut it off, you know? So I can, it's almost like an experiment. Sometimes you're just performing into a light. Sometimes it feels like. Yeah, you're performing a little bit into a void. And, you know, in a comedy club, you can at least see the front row. Yeah.

And then if somebody yells something, you can either maybe see them or you can kind of talk to them in a way where it's like we're in the same room. Right. I mean, in the theater, they're like, we're in the audience, you're on the stage. So we're, our entity is audience.

There's a huge barrier between us and the stage. And I talk in my stand up a lot about ripping your attention away from these screens that are ruining our lives and how happy I am that they came to a setting like this, which is live and is, I'll never perform for this exact audience again. No other audience will see this exact performance. This is a singular sort of time in our lives

that we're sharing together. That doesn't work as well. Even that material doesn't work as well in a big theater. If I'm performing for a thousand people, they're kind of like, I could sort of be watching this at home on my television. Right. And when I try and improvise,

which I do every show in a theater, you're just further away in. Yeah, it feels detached and it's tough. People can't really hear what people said. You have to repeat it. Right. Then you fuck up the timing. So heck was in that, in those senses.

Yeah, I hate that. Yeah. I hate that because it's too invasive. Do you play mostly theaters now or mostly comedy clubs or mixed juice and mixed stuff? Mostly a mix, yeah. I mean, I've done a lot of theaters this past year, but looking forward to getting back into some clubs

and just working on trying to work on some new material. I mean, I think that's a big part of what I love about the clubs, but I would always rather do five shows at a 500 seat theater than one show at a 2,500 seat theater. And that might change as I grow older or also the material matures or how I want to present things, changes.

But right now, kind of back to what you're talking about with the shift and trying to become a great comedian, that also just requires reps. It's like, I need five shows more and much more than I need one show, you know? And that's why when I finish a weekend of doing five shows or six shows, we add shows, I'll come back to New York and I will at least one or two nights go and do sets,

just go and do spots all around town. So I'm performing a lot, you know? And that's why I moved to New York. I moved because Kate is this famous installation artist like internationally, but she's, her world is in New York. And so I wanted to be with her. So I moved for love, obviously. Oh yeah.

And then also just to be able to do so many more spots. And I love the feel like we were talking about in the very beginning, I love the feel of the, I love the energy, the fire alarm energy of doing, as being a standup comic in New York. Yeah. Yeah, I think it has like, yeah, New York definitely has more of a,

you feel like you're just part of, there's always something going on. It feels fun. The world feels alive there. And here the world feels a little bit more like, little sleepy. Packaged in like you're waiting for like Amazon to bring it by.

Yeah. And I feel like here sometimes. A little sleepy, a little, you're in traffic and you're stopping and then you're starting and you're stopping and New York is just like, go, go, go. Would you ever, have you lived in New York? Would you ever live there? I just lived there for about three months.

Three months. Actually I rented a room from a, I mean a fellow homosexual gentleman actually. And he said, And let's make that clear. So it was really well decorated. Well, just, Very clean.

And yeah, I took his bed over for, you know, three months, man. So I've done some things, you know. I took on some lovers. And I actually still feel like I owe him $150 maybe to get the, I don't know if I hired a cleaner or whatever it was. But anyway, but what I'm telling you is,

yeah, I stayed there for three months and I really enjoyed it. Or I should fear let me stay at his place for a little while. He's great. I rented him a lot and Kate loves him. She loves his energy. She's like, he is such a sweet dude and he's very present.

And almost every time I have a conversation with him, I walk away from it with sort of a little bit more perspective on things. We presently not welcome the Staples Center too in Los Angeles. Is that true? Yeah. Oh yeah, that's right.

He had that falling out with Kobe Bryant. That would make perfect sense. By first I was like, what did he do with the Staples Center? And then I was like, oh, I see. Yes, yes. No, he's a sweet guy. But he also had that falling out with Kobe Bryant or you know, with that whole deal.

And so he... But that coming from a positive nihilistic viewpoint, and I talked to him, we saw him after that. Kate and I were just walking home and he was headed downtown, I think to do the cellar. Yeah, do the fat black. And we searched to opt him and we talked a little bit. And then I said, you know, with the Mark Norman stuff,

Mark Norman sort of spoke about how the people calling in death threats, like why are we not focusing our anger on those people? Those people, yeah. And Ari said, yeah, I heard that he said something kind of interesting about that. And he said, well, you know what it's like. It's like, you know, you just,

because you've had the media go after you. And I was like, yeah, and I do want to say it because I wanted to say this to him. I said, and my thing is, I didn't think it was a funny joke. I didn't think it was funny what you did. And he's like, then that's fine. That's fine.

That's not the point of it. And I was like, but I don't think it's wrong. If that was your thing, and that's what you do, then I don't think you did anything wrong. I think you got the reaction that you were gonna get by doing that. Yeah, that's how you learn whatever it is. You don't, and you don't expect

that people are not gonna react. If you're being a provocateur, then you expect people to feel provoked and to react in that way. Which is a form of art to a lot of people. And it's certainly a lot of work. Yeah, sure. Harmy Karim is one of my favorite directors.

Yeah, man. And he did kids in Gummo. I thought I saw him the other day. Really? And I was so afraid. Yeah, I met a guy, well somebody introduced me to somebody through, I met someone.

Somebody introduced me to that person and their name was Harmony. And it really, really looked like him, but I was so afraid to ask him. God, he's so great. Gummo I think is one of the great, but those films are so viscerally provocative. Yeah.

He's always been provocative. He's always been really... Yeah, that's his thing. And he gets on stage and he'll talk shit about Jewish people. And he's Jewish. And he had the first thing I ever saw him in. He's a Jewish supremacist, really, almost. Yeah, yeah.

And the first thing I saw him in is the amazing racist. Racist, oh yeah. And so that was so long ago, but from the get go, he was walking around like an Asian geisha and just being like, so racist. He had a fake slave ship going back to Africa.

Yeah, right, exactly. So it's like, obviously the guy is into like, jarring types of puny. Really, really pushing, pushing, pushing. I think the problem is a lot of people have never seen, you get a whole new group of people who had never heard of Ari. And this is how the first time they hear about him.

So that's an easy picking for a lame person. That's an easy picking to hate. You know what's weird too? Like, oh, I gotta hate somebody today. This is the easiest, the lowest hanging fruit. Right, right. I'm gonna hate him. But I think they probably also said,

you know, it's just, that was a... But he should be able to say what he wants. Yeah, I mean, Kate said he should have known better. And I was like, he did know just fine. Like he knew that, and what I said to him was, it was like, so how are you doing? You're fine, right? And he goes, yeah.

You know, you realize you get all this hatred, all this stuff. He's like, then you close the laptop and you look around like birds are chirping. I live in New York. It's beautiful outside. So the problem was is that his family, then you'll kind of think about this

in the context of the hate that he got. He said, you know, the problem was with my family, I realized, oh, they're taking this seriously and it's on a national level. And so I had to say to them, I'm okay. Nobody's gonna kill me. I'm being safe. So that's what's really interesting is nobody really

thinks behind all of that online hatred is a family that is really scared for their son. For their son or their brother, yeah. I think if the Knicks had been doing better, I think he would have had more support out of New York. I'm serious. I love that. But I do, but yeah, it was just, look,

we've all told jokes that have bad timing, you know? Like, and sometimes it's, you should just be able to joke. Like, and if you can joke and turn off your Twitter and turn that off, if you don't care about that kind of stuff, then you still can. I had to, do you get Google alerts about yourself? No, I don't. And I did for a long time

because I was just interested in what people had to say. It sounds so painful. And a while ago, I kind of- Well, you've got some wild alerts too though, man. Yeah, but I've also had people- I've got Google alerts, but you don't even have you written down in my Google alerts. Exactly, yeah.

But I've had people sort of say stuff like, you know, you weren't funny in this movie or you were terrible. It almost feels like they're talking about somebody else. I don't take that personally. But I got to a point where I started to understand like a dozen, I still try and get on Twitter and interact with fans and do that.

And I'm trying to interact more on Instagram. But the healthier thing, if you can do it, is just to not, you know, just to do Instagram when it feels like it's fine. And then- That's my email. It's Google alerts for Thio Von. That's it.

It feels good. You have yours on, but he's got, yeah, oh my God. That's the real deal, man. I'm glad that- I'm glad that doesn't come to your inbox. Yeah, I'm glad somebody knows what's going on and if I'm okay. For sure.

I'll text Nick and ask him if I'm okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just got to check in, Nick. Most of my day is getting home at the end of the day and being like, oh my God, am I okay? Am I okay? Like getting inside and be like, I'm okay. Everything is all right.

Yeah. So you do it. You have some sort of, would you call it sort of, are you an anxious person? Do you have some anxiety? You think, Nick? Yeah, like- You have kind of a laid-back anxiety.

It's like a feeling that everything could go away at any moment, which I guess causes anxiety, I feel like, is what I get. Lazy anxiety. No, I think it's easy going anxiety, but I'll say that's everybody- Andy Warhol was always afraid that it was all gonna disappear at once.

So that happens to a lot of artists, you know? Yeah, I don't know where that comes from. Just thinking that everything's not gonna be okay. Oh wait, I do know, when I was young and stuff, nobody ever told me that everything's okay. There was never anybody in my life who was like, just saying, hey, everything's fine, you know? So there was this narrative started in my head

that everything just wasn't okay, you know? And so that's, I think, like, it's just a strong swimmer that's in my bowl is that, you know, just that everything's not okay. Everything's not okay. Like, I'll call people and be like, everything's okay, right? Like, yeah, everything's okay, man.

I think also Los Angeles has done that to me a lot. Yeah, Los Angeles is filled with status anxiety. I also wanna say, I love the way that you speak. You have such an idiosyncratic way of speaking when you say, I've got that, that's just swimming around in my bowl. I would never, no one else except for you would say it like that, but it makes perfect sense, just like the fire alarm analogy.

But Los Angeles has so much status anxiety, and there's none of that in New York. I mean, we really, we came back and Kate went to a screening with a friend of hers, and her friend was clearly had this, just the status anxiety, a little bit of desperation to her energy now, and we hadn't seen her in a couple years, and I actually didn't feel it.

It goes pretty well for me at the lab. I like the guy's laugh factory. I'm like buddies with Delia and Bobby Lee and stuff. So that's always nice, but I've used to feel in, if I did any east side rooms and kind of the all hipster type rooms, there's just so much status anxiety as to how- Really, I feel like that's your world.

No, and certainly not anymore, because those people have become the like, woke kind of, I'll go after you on Twitter, and all that kind of stuff. So for me, I really like the clubs here, and then in Manhattan, I will do bar shows sometimes, but I also just want to perform for real people, because that's what you and I do on the road,

and so it doesn't help us a lot to like, I haven't even been to Brooklyn since I moved to New York, and I've been in New York for like three or four years. Wow, I feel like that's your whole world. No, it's so, we are so much more a Manhattan energy and couple, and I'm so much more of a Manhattan person. To me, first of all, going to Brooklyn, to get to Brooklyn, do a show, and come back,

I could have done three shows in Manhattan. So what was the point of going to Brooklyn? And second of all, the audiences in Brooklyn, that's not who I'm performing for in Omaha, Nebraska, nor is it who I'm performing for in Portland, or San Francisco, or Philadelphia, it is just Brooklyn, and I don't need any of the Brooklyn Cache.

Yeah, it's just a lot of, it's definitely a lot of judgment comes out of some of those holes, you know. And I don't do the seller right now, in part because that table has a lot of status anxiety, and people are thinking about, hey, I got to, I'm pasted the seller, and I get a little bit of an energy of, you know, you don't belong here yet,

you haven't paid your dues or something, and no other clubs are like that. So that's the only place I experience status anxiety in New York City is in the comedy seller proper, and everybody else is nice to me there. Yeah, yeah, I get nervous in there. Jim Norton and David Towell and Godfrey, all those people are so nice to me,

but the younger class, if it's not one of the girls, so like I get along with Nikki Glaser, Rachel Feinstein, like there's, I get along with all the girls. They're like men almost though, too. Yeah, too, and they're just cool. They're just like down-ass chicks, I just love them. And so I think that more and more I'm seeing that like, if I stay away from that table at the comedy seller,

and I don't play that room, but I'll play Village Underground in the fat black pussycat, I don't really come across any, I don't come across much status anxiety in Manhattan, and so that's really helped me, because I agree with you, I think Los Angeles can kind of make you think, where am I, where am I compared to this person,

where am I compared to this girl? You don't see anybody, you don't connect, you never, like I know I'm a nice person sometimes because I'll see someone in the morning or any time in a regular place, you run into more people, hey, how are you, how are you? You share a little bit of what's going on. If they're not doing well, I can notice it and say,

hey, what's happening? You know, do something to be a part of somebody's day, so you have more of a reflection of who you are. Somebody can see if you're not doing well, whereas here you just get so, it's just, it's built in a way that if you don't make an extra, if you don't try harder to get out and meet other people, make an extra effort, yes, effort,

then you can get stuck where you're just looking at your own reflection all the time. I think that's right, and you're in a car, and to get from this neighborhood to this neighborhood takes 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and that's why we've always lived in Hollywood, because we have a place here, which is like a little apartment,

and it's in Hollywood, and so we walk a lot. We don't really drive in Los Angeles. That's nice. I don't really have somebody even throw shit at me just because somebody's around, you know? Yeah, yeah, that guy's got turds, you know? It's getting wild out here. It is getting wild.

Hollywood is, it's a sketchy, grimy place, but it was the closest thing we had to New York City, and so we've kind of stuck around that area, but yeah, I almost crave, when I took Kate, I was upset that I had to take a car out here right away, because I just will walk. I walk so much out there, and there's all these secret stairs and stuff,

and that just reminds you that Los Angeles isn't just Hollywood, the machine. It's also a city, and we drove from San Jose. I have a classic car. It's a 1992 Mitsubishi 3000 GT VR4 twin turbo. Pull it up. Praise God. It's red.

Praise the Lord. PTL, baby. And so we took that from San Jose, down the Pacific Coast, one, the Highway One, through Carmell and Big Sur, and then all the way down to Santa Barbara, and here. I like to jerk off in the trunk of that thing, dude.

Yeah, you can. And I wouldn't tell us. So, boy, you feel me, dude? I wonder if it was. Is that you right there by it over in that field over there on the right, a little lower? Do you have it on your Instagram, possibly? Yeah, definitely.

Right, is that? So maybe you feel like that. So maybe it's on Instagram. You saw it. No, to the right a little. Up, up, left. Nope. No, I don't see any of those.

That field, look at that field, man. Is it you? It's on my Instagram. Yes, that's me, but from Transformers 4. That's not my car, but that's a dope car. Dude, you got a little bit of thick in you, baby. Yeah, you know what it is. Yeah, dude.

You gotta get a thong, baby. You gotta go to Miami. Yeah, that's the way. But yeah, so we drove that down the coast because we wanted to remind ourselves that Los Angeles is not. Is not California. Yeah, for us that California isn't Los Angeles.

Los Angeles is just a part of California. And so. Man. And that was really, really important. And we had such a good time. And we renewed our vows in Big Sur a while ago and we love Santa Barbara. So we got much more into the everything.

Even if you get out like, there's a podcast that I've done a few times that I absolutely love and I wanna go do it again. And it's called. It would be pretty recently. It would be like within the last month or so. Kate and I would have been out and about. Look at that picture of me with the face on my chest

with Kate. Oh yeah, that's beautiful. That's pretty perfect. That was from the Critics Choice Awards. We did an opener with whistling belly buttons. So yeah, it would have been just a few more down. Do you get nervous? Like, do you, what is your relationship like with the media?

Like, do you trust the media? Like you, cause you've had some, you know, you've had some wild stories. And the reason is because. Yeah, the Amtrak experience. The reason is because of the clickbait. They're looking for sort of the clickbait of it all. And when it is, there it is, that's it.

So that's, yeah, you can play the card. Let me see it. It'll show you the card. Yeah, that's it. I mean, yeah, right? Isn't that nice? Look at that. And then that's a guy smoking weed in a bus.

That's what it's like to be in Northern California. That bus isn't in use though, but yeah. Yeah, I mean, he was using it to get high for sure. Yeah, that's true. But no, I mean, I, you can't, and it's so sad that the current narrative is kind of true that they'll just, they'll either lie about you or they'll turn whatever it is into clickbait.

And they're kind of, you know, it's, that's the problem with the media right now is they're trying to get ratings like entertainment, like a television show or, you know, a movie with a box office, that type of thing. And so I try and really, all you can do is tune that out. I asked Jennifer Aniston about this in office Christmas party.

I said, how do you deal with the tablet stuff? I mean, it's just so crazy. They're just lying. She seems to have such a team that's able to manage it so much. Well, but they're just lying. I mean, you, on the front of these things, they say, oh, Brad and, and, and, you know,

they're getting back together. Or like Jennifer Aniston is so happy that Brad and Angelina are getting divorced. And she was like, I'm not happy. I want people to be happy. I'm not happy. None of that is true. I said, so how do you deal with it?

And she said, you know, you just have to tune it out and just have to be zen about it. You have to, and it takes a lot of energy and it requires a lot of work. And you got to know that the people that really know, you know the real story. And the rest of the world is going to have to decide if they want to believe these sources

that just aren't real, you know? When you had, can I ask you about the training experience? The aim training? No, because they're still, only because we're still. Do you really get to meet the FBI? It's not, it's not as, it's not as glamorous as all that theo. But you, that case hasn't been resolved yet

because it was, as I say, it's a miscommunication with the federal government. And so once the case is resolved, we'll be able to talk about it more. But that's an example of something that was like, that was between me and the government, you know, me trying to, if you see something, say something and the government worrying that it wasn't anything.

And then TMZ just immediately was like, he did this and it was false and he called it, and it's like, and there's no rebuttal for people if there is something that said that's awful about them or wrong, there's no. I have a bit about that, that you can't, you're totally, the media can lie about you with any repercussion or any recourse

and you can't do anything. You can't even sue people for defamation if you're famous. So the second that they can prove that in some arena, you're famous, you're definitely famous. And so if somebody could say something terrible about you in the press and you can be like, that's a lie,

I'm suing for defamation. They would be able to say, no, that's not the case. And they could sue you, right, for something that isn't true. And most likely the lawyers would say, Theo, it's better to settle this out of court. And you could say, but this person is lying. Like this is what happened to me.

This person is just lying, they just decided to lie. And the lawyer will say, well, we actually know from running his past that he has a history of suing companies and people and settling out of court. So he's done this before and it's better for you to pay him money than to go in front of a court and possibly be exposed to using more money.

And not only is that a terrible reality, what's also terrible is now, when it says that was settled out of court, the public is kind of like, so did he do something wrong and just pay the person off? Like they just leave this untethered end, like kind of or whatever.

It's really crazy. Do you think, but doesn't it scare you to work in an industry that's kind of built on a lot of that? Like that's- Absolutely, well, I think that's a big part of right now. I'm doing standup and doing, in doing standup, I'm actually in a lot of ways doing much better than I was doing when I was on a television show.

Because financially it's the same, if not better. Artistically, you're in charge of your own everything. In terms of personal life, I have much more flexibility and I get to spend a lot more time with Kate. If I'm doing a TV show or a movie, movie I'm gone for three months and Kate really can't visit me because she has her own work and I can't go on the weekends to visit her.

So I see her a lot more doing standup than I would if I was doing film and television. But like with the Drew Barrymore movie, I still love doing films. And but yeah, it's standup is very different. Bill Burr has a really good Conan interview. Oh, have you seen ours with him? No, it's pretty good.

Yeah, he's great, but he said the way you do it is don't have your own show. And which is funny because he has F is for family. But he was like, the best thing you can do is just not have your own show. Then you can say whatever you want because they can't take anything away from you. And so that's I think what was really pounded into my face

is that Hollywood almost darkly prides itself on the fact that it can take everything away from you at every moment. That's in fact what the stand-in is about. Drew Barrymore plays a movie star and her own stand-in. So she's playing two parts and it's about how Hollywood loves to take everything away from you, tear you down and then make you grovel to pull yourself back up

and do an apology to her and apologize and say, please, I want to apologize to my fans. It's like a slavery, not a slavery. It is, no, it's like a slavery. It's like they can beat you and then make you apologize for making them beat you, sort of, kind of like that. And that is a slave. Yeah, like, oh, I understood why you beat me.

Yeah, exactly. And I want to apologize to you for it. And please give me a chance to not be beaten. It's almost like that. And so stand-up just eliminates that possibility. Well, it seemed like such a, I mean, cause you're such a, I mean, you're just very different, you know, and you, and it's hard probably to fit.

I would imagine, I couldn't imagine being you and fitting into, cause a lot of things are very systematic. The world we live in is there's a lot of systems that work best because it facilitates all these moving people at once. And I think that's a good point. There is a component of me that doesn't fit in very well to predispose systems, whether that be any kind of,

I mean, really any kind of system, whether that be like the rules at a theme park or, you know, the school system. I had a real tough problem with that. And the Hollywood system, I think for a long time, has not really known what to do with me, especially because I'm a self-promised, professed comedian, not actor.

Right. So when I left Silicon Valley, they didn't understand. They're like, what are you doing? And I was like, I just think this is a really funny ending to it if I sort of go off in this opium den. And I think this is a good time for me to sort of end the series or end my part with series. And then the series can change and grow.

And they're like, but okay, do you want to come back and do three out of 10 episodes? Cause HBO was super cool. They were like, do you want to come back and do three out of the eight episodes? And I said, no, no, no, I think it's really funny to end it just like this on this. And this four seasons is great.

That was great. Thank you. And they're like, well, what about the season finale? And I was like, no, that's okay. And they're like, just, you're not even open to the season. And what it was is they were like, but you're an actor and you're on a successful television show. This is what every actor always dreamed of.

So you, how can you walk away from that? And it's like, cause I'm not an actor. You know what I mean? This wasn't my dream to be earlick on Silicon Valley. It was my dream to work with my judge and make a television show that people loved or be a part of one for sure. But I also have made television shows

like Gore burger or mashup that people have loved. I do stand up, which I really love. And I make films that people love. So I was kind of like, I don't want to. And so that's an example of Hollywood itself being like, I don't like that this guy doesn't give a shit or is he really acting like he's an arrogant asshole or is he truly a nihilist?

What is really going on with this person? So I can be very confusing to those systems. And I think that's why I thrive in kind of independent projects, stand up being the most important film, being sort of a capsule that happens. It goes out and then I'm on to the next thing. I'm not sort of on a television show for years and years.

And why I respect people like you who sort of have done this, which is to create your own system and your own kind of, and then you've thrived from that. And then that becomes theaters and selling out clubs and stuff like that. So that, and I think I'm also drawn to stand up comics because they usually don't necessarily fit in any system.

They're not willing to fall in line. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's something, I never wanted to, if something wasn't unique, I never wanted to do it. Or probably, and you didn't want to be a part of it necessarily.

You have had a tough time being a part of things. Yeah. Cause I think in nature, I never felt a part of things. So then why would I naturally easily, I would be tough to gravitate towards it sometimes. You know. But you know, I think it's interesting what you're saying, man.

I mean, I think, yeah, Bird does a great job of it in the sense that he does stand up. He created an animation. He kind of jumps into things here and there, but there's nothing that's like keeping him in a stable and a tether constantly. Yeah. He's not tethered at all.

And he's pretty strongly a stand up. He really is. And that's been another interesting thing is to interact with people. Cause so many stand ups that I know really wanted to act. You know, I don't know how. Well, you want to succeed. And there's this thing that like,

that Hollywood is a success. There's this thing, especially even with our parents, our generation. I mean, I think I'm a little older than you, but where they, television is it. Like I could tour around the world doing comedy, but they're like, oh, if I didn't see on an episode of everybody loves Raymond, are you doing okay?

Or what's going on? Are you a homosexual? Yeah, keep, but it is. You'll get the, in the beginning of your career, you're like, I'm headlining, what was it? I was like, I was in a movie. I was in Cloverfield and I was in. Oh yeah.

Cloverfield. And then I was, I was headlining clubs. I'd been on a television show, but it got canceled. And I went to a family reunion and somebody was like, Hey, just keep at it. You'll make it one day. And I was like, what? I already, I did it.

Yeah. What do you want me to do? You're going to get there. I'm there. Overdose. It's currently out, right. Overdose on Sunset. What do I need to do?

It's currently happening. So people do think that, and I've seen standups who just wanted to, from standup to become a television star or movie star or whatever, talk show host. And that just hasn't been my end all be all. And I'm so happy. I'm doing an international tour. You can find the tickets on TJ Miller,

does not have a website.com. We're announcing the tour very soon in May and June. And I'm going all over Europe and then on to like other parts of the world, like Auckland, New Zealand and stuff like that. And so that's so exciting for me. And I'm almost, certainly I was happy, but I was happier doing that than being on the cover

of a magazine because I'm on a hit television show or I'm part of a big movie franchise or something like that. So obviously I feel hashtag blessed for both or for all of it. But I don't really think success is in success for me in a lot of ways is less in what you get and more in how much control you have.

I think you're really successful if you have control of your own life and you're not, you know, that's why I feel bad for a lot of actors because they have to take actually after Tiger Belly, Bobby Lee and I were talking and he just said, he said, aren't we so lucky TJ? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, you know, to have comedy.

And I said, oh yeah, definitely. He goes, we're just so lucky. We just get to tour and make money and do this thing. And it's so fun. I just, we're so lucky. And he was talking about, we both were kind of talking about, if you're an actor, then the job ends

and you kind of are waiting for the next job. And he and I were talking about how you withstand up, this is never gonna stop until you want it to. So having that control, that's to me, that success, being, you know, really, really rich because you were the guy, one of the nerds on the Big Bang Theory. I don't know that that is,

you didn't have a lot of say in your life during that time. And I don't know how much money is that's worth to sort of relinquish that much control. I would much prefer to not make as much, I thought it was another thing about Silicon Valley, they're like, don't you want to be rich? I mean, they didn't say that. It is sort of like-

Oh, it always, it's the bottom line of all of it. Don't you want to do this? Don't you want to be able to buy a boat and have a big house with a little- Don't you want to have a second wife? Yeah, all right. Don't you want to have a divorce? Be able to pay the alimony?

And I, you know, I kind of was like, no, I don't want a boat, I don't need a, I want to live in New York city. And so we have this dope place in New York city. And I don't need a pool and I don't need a plane. One of the guys from Silicon Valley bought a plane. Wow. And I was like, what?

But I mean, he likes to fly planes and stuff. But I was like, I just want to be a comic in New York. That was the coolest thing to me. It's not like having a mansion in Bel Air or something. Is it addictive though, whenever you get, cause you, I mean, you, I remember seeing when you did the, the Yogi barrel edition, right? That was the biggest thing.

And I was so jealous. I remember seeing like, man, this guy, he just so, it's for Alison Jones, I think he did a pool. Was that right? Yeah, totally. But that, go ahead. Cause you did a special audition, right?

You did a special audition where this is what I heard. This is just from, okay, this guy found a bear somewhere and got to go, went and did a special audition next to a very dangerous bear. And got a really good take and submitted the, and submitted that as the audition and said, you, I should be a part of this. So the truth is I went and I audition

cause I thought it would be funny to be in Yogi bear 3D because it would be a funny standup credit, right? And it would just be silly to do that. And then I found it on a Ferris was going to be in it. And I was like, oh my God, that would be amazing. Cause she's like one of my comedy idols. And then I went in, I did the audition with Alison Jones. It went well.

And then I went and I bought a ranger hat as a joke. And I went in and I went in and I was like, hey, I just wanted to let you guys know I brought my own ranger hat. And I was just wondering if I could use it. I don't have to, but it was $19.99. And, you know, I can't return it. I can exchange it for something else,

but I bought it for the audition. And they were kind of like, yeah, that's fine, man. I was like, great, it was so ridiculous. So I go in there, I go in there and I put the, I put on the hat and they say, say your name and slate. You know, the poor kid in the casting assistant that's got the camera, say your name and slate.

And my joke with that is I'm always like, TJ Miller auditioning for the role of Yogi Bear 3D. I'm six foot three, but when I act, I crouch. So I'm six foot two. And then they're like, okay, we're ready. And then I go, I'm sorry, can I just stop you guys real quick? And this poor casting assistant, I go,

can I just ask you something? How much, but how much headroom do I have? Cause I'm gonna be doing a lot of hat work. So if you can give me sort of enough, so think of it less as headroom and more hat room. So how much hat room do I have? And this kid's like, I mean, I don't know like about this much. And I was like, yeah, but I can't,

that's smaller to me than it is to you because you're far away. So just tell me when to stop. And I was like, he's like, he's like, no, no, no, stop before there. I was like, can you give me this? What about here? Okay, cause I'm gonna be doing kind of like,

whoo, whoo, you know, like, whoo, whoo, whoo. And kind of a, that sort of stuff. So do I have room to do that? And this kid's like, yeah, sure. So I did the audition, but they were already cracking out. So now you've already got a lot of humor going before the auditions already started. Yeah, that's a key move.

Broke the ass and gone. So then Allison texted me actually after the audition, she was like, you know, you're there first choice. And I think this is, you're gonna get good news tomorrow. And I was like, tell them that I want to submit the supplemental materials to give them a better idea of what I would do with the part. She was like, I don't think you need to.

And I was like, yeah, but I have this great idea. So then I did, I went, I rented a bear at the Hollywood Animal Ranch. It's so risky, I feel like. And then I made it, sent it to them. And yeah, but it was a joke. The whole thing is a joke. Right, I get it.

But still as a, as somebody that auditioned and stuff, that would feel like, to a regular person. Yeah. With a full lobe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would feel, TJ. Full lobe in it. That would feel like such a,

cause you're like already have like, to be like, I'm gonna build another car. I'm just three quarter lobe in it, guys. And yeah, I wasn't full lobe in it, no way. And so I sent them this audition, cause you gotta think about it. If I've already gotten it and then I make a funny video, like that's not gonna hurt the situation.

So I sent it and they watched it and I thought it was so funny. And they sent it all the way up to Alan Horn, who was the head of the studio at the time. Jewish guy or not? He, I don't, I'm not sure. I think I met him. He, Horn?

He, he goes, yeah, he's been, I think he's the head of, he was the head of Warner Brothers and now he's the head of, he's involved in Disney somehow. And he, he never laughs at anything. And he watched this and he didn't laugh. But he was like, we should, we should hire this kid. It's really, really funny.

And I said, well, yeah, he was, he was, he was our first choice. So I did that movie in 2010 and that's the film that right afterwards my, actually while I was in the film, my brain hemorrhaged just slightly. Fuck yeah. And I started to go actually insane, like clinically insane,

cause there was just too much blood in my brain. And then when I came back afterwards, I was in like a really crazy state. And I, that's when I had the seizures, I went to the hospital and they were like, we need to operate on your pain. Yogibert 3D brings it all around full circle.

That's amazing, bro. Now three quarter lobin' it coast to coast and we're away. I love it. Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves, I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind, I found,

I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind. Shine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you my stories. Shine on me. And I will find a song,

I will sing it just for you. And now I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of light. And with a heavy load of light.