This Past Weekend - Up to Nothing | This Past Weekend #274
Episode Date: April 20, 2020New Merch https://theovonstore.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by… Betterhelp V...isit https://Betterhelp.com/Theo to receive 10% off your first month Manscaped Visit https://Manscaped.com and use code THEO for 20% off ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You know, the strangest thing you can ask someone right now is, what are you up to?
Or what have you been up to?
Have you had someone ask you that yet?
Hey, hey man, what are you up to?
What?
What am I up to nothing?
I'm up to nothing.
There's nothing to do.
Hey man, what you been doing?
Nothing.
Hey, hey buddy, no, nothing.
You do you understand?
You know, I realized one of my buddies is a psychopath or psycho, whatever it is, psychopath.
He's like, Hey man, what are you been doing?
Huh?
Oh me?
Oh yeah, man.
I just been, you know, I just traveled.
We went to the water slide last weekend and, you know, we went to DiMaggio's, you know,
that restaurant, nothing.
I've been doing nothing, the same thing that everybody has been doing.
No matter who you are right now, you're doing, I don't care if you are Walter Disney, you're
doing nothing.
Even people that are smoking DMT right now, no matter how hard a hit they take, nothing
happens because there's nothing to do except podcast, I guess.
Let's go.
Yup, it's that same song, baby.
Hey man, hey man, hey man, what you been up to, man?
I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves, I must be
gonna stone, oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind, I found, I
can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time, look at the time, baby, some
tick tock, for me to set that parking brake and let myself rewind, shine that light on
me, I sit and tell you my story, shine on me, and I will find a song, I will sing it
just for you.
Hey man, what you been up to, nothing, nothing man, absolutely nothing, there's nothing to
do, I think there's nothing, I mean I have been, people are like, what have you been
doing, well, honestly what I've been doing, usual stuff I do, really, try not to masturbate
or do self-pleasure or do self-bust.
I have been, I have learned, I've learned that I can cook and then I've learned that
I don't know any good recipes, that's what I learned, I learned like, oh okay, I'm willing
to cook, like I find myself just making something that's around my apartment, like, oh okay,
I'll have a little bit of lettuce and oatmeal, there could be something, you know, I find
myself just mixing, oh yeah, yeah, I'll have a pop tart and I'll have, you know, I'll have
a pop tart and I'll have two orange halves, or orange, you know, just like wild mixes,
okay, I'll have a little, you know, some cuts of London Barl and, you know, and maybe four
baby Snicker and that's dinner, just the, the, the connect, like things that connect
there, that the, it doesn't matter anymore, it you, you know, before COVID it was like
the, the, the afternoons connected to the lunchtime, the evenings connected to the dinner,
but now it don't matter, the breakfast is connected to the midnight snack, it don't
matter, oh Rise and Shine, you know, I got half a bag of cool ranch Doritos and, and
you know, a third of a cup of, you know, baby marshmallows for you, and don't forget to
have, don't forget to squeeze a, you know, a chunk of lime into your mouth, and, and
that's it, it's just, you know, the, there's the, I'm just saying that you can have whatever
you want right now, and it can be a meal, you don't even have to mix things like before
pre pre-COVID, you had to mix stuff, oh, you want to make a cake, you need to get an egg,
do an egg in a bucket, do a flour, do some milk, or some leche, some Mexican milk, and
do it like that, and do it and mix it up, and throw some sprinkles in it and put out
and do an oven, and then do, do, do, do, damn, you got a cake, you got a birthday, you got
a cumpleonios, you know, circle a cake, but now, don't matter, you want to fucking crack
an egg in your mouth, you want to take half a drum of water, a little bit of milk, eat
a quarter stick of butter, you know, hide two packets of sugar under your tongue of sugar
in the raw, bam son, you get, now you've had some cake, like, now you've had some cake,
there's just the, the, the template is kind of blown out, oh, it's lunchtime, why don't
you have a fricking, uh, porterhouse steak with a Chobani yogurt, why don't you, do,
you want to do a little, do a Chobani, daddy, do that little, you know, hide a fucking,
hide a half a gram of yogurt in your little cousin's jaw, and then, you know, and then
beat his little ass if you have to, sorry, you know, let him, you know, don't, just hit
him like in the back and like in the fat areas, don't hit him anywhere where it could hurt
him.
What's going on?
I don't know, I don't, I don't, it's the dumbest, what's going on, nada, nada, Spanish
nothing, nothing is going on, I've been at home, I don't even know, it's out, it's nice
to not have to set your alarm clock, isn't it, I know some of you have children you can't
relate to, but it's nice to not have to set your alarm, you know, I don't need an alarm
for anything right now, I don't need, I don't, it doesn't, what, if it's, it doesn't matter
if it's 1150 PM or 4 AM, I can watch another episode of Shits Creek and then go back to
bed, doesn't matter, doesn't matter if it doesn't, it just, it just, nothing matters,
nothing matters, what's going on, nothing, nothing, I'm just trapped playing with the
devils that are inside of me, that's what I'm doing most of the time, I want to thank
you guys for supporting the cast, that's for damn sure, that is for DS, that is for damn
sure, what's going on, I've been, I guess I've been feeling like a lot of things during
this recently, I've been feeling like, well I've been taking pretty good care of myself,
you know, I've been doing a good bit of outdoor action, running, walking, you know, I'll pretend
like I lost something in my area or something, go look for it, look for a missing animal,
look for a, you know, like, oh my cousin's car got stolen, we know we're looking for
it, have you seen it, people are like, nah, nah, nah, but you keep looking, you know, just
anything to kind of get out of the house, you know, what else, I've been rolling out
my body, and I know some people, they say you get on the foam roller, if you've seen
it, it's a, it's like a pipe, but it's made out of foam, it's like a foam piping piece,
like a fat little foam pipe, and you lay your body on it, and you just ride your body back
and forth on it, I mean, if this thing could get pregnant, it would get pregnant, and you
just slide your body, your legs, especially your thighs here, your buttocks here, the
area between your nuts and your knees, whatever that is, leg, and you slide that up and down
to some foam roller, and it alleviates your tension, I mean, it, you'll see a damn ghost
fly out of your ass, like if this thing will loosen the muscle tension inside of you, it
really does, it just loosens it all up, so I've been doing that full body, like doing
my triceps on it, my bicep, like laying on it, and just sheer agony, just, and just,
I mean, till it just hurts so much, man, till just like, and it's this big black pipe kind
of thing, and it's like, it just feels like it's just, I mean, just, just taking my muscles
virginity, you know, just, just, just terrorizing these bitches, really, kind of like if you
ever seen an episode of that black pornography, and it's women kind of getting attacked by
big, large black, you know, penises and penis, and it has that sort of ambiance to it, just,
and just rolling your, just, I mean, rolling my chest, just rolling everything out.
So I've been doing that, um, what else?
That's it, man, not, there's not, you know, I went to the park the other day, I looked
at some dog, people out there with the dogs, um, and when I was growing up, your boy Daniel
in my neighborhood, some of you guys know about him, and some of y'all don't.
And he was the kind of dude that would, you know, he would tell you like, maybe if you
were having a licorice chunk, or if you were having a, a bit of honey, candy, he would
tell you, oh, they're poisonous, they're poisonous, and you'd spit it out on the table, and he
would take it and eat it.
He was that kind of man, he was a, like he would just secondhand sugar, he didn't carry
tricky out of your own suite, and then he would polish that batch off right in front
of you.
And um, anyway, his father had trained, they had a dog, this little disgruntled little
dog, into the, uh, this little, I don't know if it was like a beagle or like a damn, like
an Australian kind of beagle, kind of, like a, kind of an, like an Australian kind of
beagle sort of hound, but it would, um, name Muscle was the dog's name, and it would, they
trained it to kind of, I guess, kind of hump or fuck, uh, dogs, other dogs at the dog park.
So we'd go down there, they had this kind of dog, and it wasn't really a dog park back
damn, when I was growing up, it was just a lot of dogs would meet up usually to eat and
or look at each other, and you'd see a dog walking by or one dog would have a, you know,
he would, the owner would paint something on the side of them, like a political slogan
or just all kind of shit, like an animal meetup.
And um, and they had their little dog, little muscle, and this thing could fuck, bro, I'll
be honest.
It's the only dog I've ever seen that could run up behind another dog and jump, and it
was real, it had long legs in the front, but was a short legged in the back.
And this thing could hump like a damn, like a speed bump.
This thing could hump like a fucking, like an extended cab camel.
This thing had that up, down, up, down, up, down, going, and it could run and jump up
into the air and land wiener, wiener in to another animal.
And so this little thing, it was like the damn Robin Hood of fucking really, and you'd
see it run up and just jump onto another animal and they had trained it to, to do sex.
So it was just baffling, man.
It was just blew my mind every time we'd go to like the little dog meetup and they had,
you know, and little muscle would show up and this thing, boy, you'd see the other owners
be like, oh shit, here comes a little muscle, man, that little damn Bill Cosby out here,
this little thing, just not afraid to really sexualize other animals, but what else?
What's going on, man, nothing, nothing.
What's for breakfast, huh?
Veal Parmesan sounds good.
Sounds good.
What else, uh, nothing, correct you on that one.
Let's take some calls, man, 985-664-9503.
I've been running, I've been trying to take care of myself physically, and I've been doing
a lot of meditation and, and I am, let me see.
Hear that?
That's my damn lungs.
It's like 45 days and no ssss, not 45, maybe 44 days of no cigarettes, but I wanted one
yesterday, man.
I wanted one.
I had a, I was talking to like an ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, and just, man, we just kind
of got into it and just made me want a damn cigarette.
It's crazy how like relationship conversations and things like that can really get my damn,
could really get the, just get my goiter, you know?
I'm serious, man.
That type of stuff can really just, I mean, just makes me just, I mean, it'll just makes
me want to hide my own penis inside of my ass, you know, just, I hate that kind of stuff.
I just, I don't hate it, but I don't like it, man, I don't like that kind of stuff.
That kind of stuff just makes me uncomfortable.
But life, man, life is a, life is a, life is an uncomfortable thing, isn't it?
Isn't life an uncomfortable thing sometimes?
And they don't teach you that in school.
They don't have a class that you think for one hour on a Thursday, they'd had everybody
meet in the gym.
They would have us meet in the gym for anything.
Oh, kids are pissing on the heaters and doing, you know, big yellow steam in there every,
you know, every afternoon.
And so they got to have a convention in the gym and tell it, who's pissing, who's pissing?
We're going to smell everybody's dick.
Who is pissing?
And nobody, of course, admits everybody's dying, laughing, but people playing yellow
smoke in there.
People playing a little bit of fucking, you know, Vietnam, a little bit of a, you know,
people playing a little bit of Agent Orange or something in there and pissing on the thing
on the heat, on the heater and the toilet.
But whatever, man, we're, I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Welcome to the podcast.
What's going on, man?
What have you been up to?
There's nothing to be up to.
That's why.
That's why.
That is why.
Let's get a call that came in.
Here we go.
My name's Lev Thompson.
I'm from New Albany, Mississippi.
And today is my boyfriend's 21st birthday.
We've been together for about seven and a half years and we're 21, I'm 20, but anyways,
we're big fans of you.
Damn, y'all been together seven and a half years and you guys don't even know how old
y'all are.
You guys are young, huh?
Damn, I drink y'all's damn blood, huh, onward?
He took me to your show, Memphis, for my birthday this past August.
And I was wondering if you could help me out and somehow send me a video of you saying
happy birthday, Drew, or happy birthday, Sterling, that's his legal name.
Oh, hell yeah.
There's nothing.
I love more than somebody that has a legal name.
Don't you love that?
What's my name?
Oh, my name is Allen, but my legal name is Caronda Lett.
Yeah, my name is Tucker, but my legal name is Vacuum Nathan.
Like, damn, your name Vacuum Nathan?
Damn.
Let's hear more.
Sterling, let me hear more about this little M.F.R.
That would mean so much to me, and he might shit his pants, I'm not kidding, I'll video
it for you.
No, no, no, honey, I'm trying to stay off the pornography and you know that, but I appreciate
it onward.
Um, but yeah, my number is...
Let me try him real quick.
Let me try this young buck and see if we can get him on the line real quick.
I'm gonna wish him a damn H.B.
He deserves it, I think.
What have you been doing, man?
That's what I'm gonna ask him.
What is her name, Bethany?
Sorry.
What is her name, Bethany?
I'm sorry.
What is her name, Bethany?
What is her name, Bethany?
What is her name, Bethany?
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
Is not available.
At the tone, please record your message.
When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.
Happy birthday to Drew.
Happy birthday to Drew.
Legal name Sterling.
Happy birthday to Drew Sterling.
Happy birthday to Drew.
What's up, Drew's your friend.
This is Theo Von.
I'm just calling.
Just wanted to say thank you for the call and for offering me the opportunity to wish
Drew Sterling a happy birthday.
And I hope he lives it up, man.
You guys are in quarantine.
I hope you guys make it happen.
Get y'all a baby.
Get y'all a something.
You know, adopt a little Dalmatian, do something nasty, do something wild, or get a baby and
put little black spots on him.
Get that spotted baby, that little Patrick Mahomes, boy, that patty maha.
You can do it.
And I love you, man.
I want to tell you guys, I love you, send this to Drew for me because you only left his
number on here.
But happy birthday, man, and keep your head up out there.
And I'd ask you what you've been doing, but nobody's been doing anything.
So you guys be well, yeah.
Man, I'm feisty today, I feel.
That's how I feel.
I feel feisty.
I just feel, I feel feist straighted.
That's what I feel like.
I feel damn feist straighted, brother.
There's nothing to watch, dude.
There's nothing.
There's nothing to watch.
There's nothing.
Let's take some calls.
That's what we do have.
We have each other.
So let's get a few calls in here.
Gang, brother.
Homeward.
CEO, what up, it's your boy Nathan from Minneapolis, Dirty Nate over there from Minneapolis.
And you know, Nick Schwartz sent us from over there.
And he really, that man is really, they call him the, he really has a, actually he told
me the other day he has Corona Rhea, which is when you have, you know, fluid stool and
also Corvid baby, gang shit onward.
And I'm just calling to say thanks.
I was just listening to one of the episodes from the other week.
I think it was called perspective gadget and you got on this tear about items on a sail
rack and that shit just, I don't even know how to describe how funny that was to me.
I started kicking the air.
I'm by myself outside my place doing a little American spirit and cracking up so hard that
I just started kicking the air.
I have no idea where the, oh yeah.
That O2 dojo, bro.
That's that O2 dojo when you just start kicking the air, bro.
Wait till you fucking put the air into a damn rear naked choke.
Wait till you start doing that.
Wait till you start getting to that next level where you freaking, you know what I'm saying?
You climb up on the top rope and jump on to nothing and just leg drop absolutely nothing
at all.
Gang shit.
Where that came from, but that's what you brought to my life.
So thanks, man.
Love you.
Love you too, brother.
Thank you for the call, man.
Thank you for the call out there, getting some vibe and enjoying yourself and just feeling
something.
Yeah, there's like, there's, there's no sports.
There's no sports.
So I mean, and some people are stuck in there.
Imagine if you are a person who has to often it doesn't work at home and your wife and
you guys don't spend much time together.
It's been like that for years and suddenly y'all are stuck together.
I wonder how these domestics are doing.
If anybody out there is an officer of the law, I would love to know if you could hit
the hotline 985-664-9503 and let us know if the amount of domestics has gone up.
Yeah, there's no sports.
Anything, anything, anything could become a sport.
I mean, they're going to put, you know, ESPN, one of the famed networks, famed sporting
networks.
They're having, they're showing down people, you know, they have a Charles Barkley making
a casserole now and anything could be a sport.
Domestic disputes, I wouldn't be surprised if that becomes, you know, if they start to
make leagues or a tournament, you know, like, oh damn, you know, Tiffany sure beat the
shit out of Randall last week, but it's best two out of three.
So let's see how this shakes out.
Let's take another call.
Here we go.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, dude.
I'm trying, trying to get through Chris Delia's special right now.
And I mean, I got to just know why does he have so many holes in his black shirt?
Well, first of all, yeah, I do want to let you know Chris Delia, you may have heard of
him up and coming comedian from, I think, where is he from?
I want to say maybe Key West or something.
I don't know where he's from, but he has a special out on Netflix.
I recommend you check it out.
It's called no pain.
And I'll tell you why he has holes in his shirt because he's incomplete brother.
You know who doesn't have any holes in their black shirt?
I'll give you 7,000 guesses, bro.
Moi, that's French guess right there.
And that's the correct answer.
All right.
Because he's incomplete, man.
I'm surprised that if you look in my shirt, in my drawers right here, you will find the
pieces of his shirt that are missing.
Because he don't have that fulfillment, man.
He don't.
He don't.
He don't have that.
He doesn't have that.
He can't fill you up like daddy can knock knock who's there daddy with a cup of whatever
you need.
So that's why he's got holes in his shirt because that's who he is.
He shows up almost all the way in complete.
It's a good special.
It's a good special.
I recommend you guys check it out.
But if you want to know why he's got the holes in his shirt, that's why.
Let's take another call, man.
Thank you guys for hitting the hotline.
Let me do this too.
Let me tell you also, if you're bored in your house, what you have to be, you know
why?
Because what you've been up to, not another, not another, not then, not then.
Literally I fell asleep with half a mouthful of bugles and I had just went to bed.
I just ate half of a carton of frosting and I'm playing hide and go seek with my kid.
And I've been hiding for four hours and he's never going to find me because I drove down
the block to the supermarket parking lot and I'm sitting here in my car and watching other
men sit in their cars.
That's why.
And speaking of that, when I was growing up, they had, you know, they had a lot of men
and adult men, I mean, not, not like real hairy kids.
I'm talking about fully adult men.
A man you could tell he had a, the kind of guy was not afraid to put up, you know, half
a mouthful of Copenhagen in between his penis and his nuts and take the dip in that way,
that long route.
And I was young, a lot of men, different men, troubled men, men who had holes in their shirts
type of guys, you know, older men as well, guys like Brian Callan who, you know, I don't
know if you know him or not, he's a, he kind of, he modeled for a bit.
He modeled for actually he, he elf in the shelf is based on him, his body type and
mythical youth.
But a lot of men would go to the Winn Dixie and park out in front of it and cry and stuff
in their car and drinking.
And it was, this was before they had self help and all of that.
This before you could get help for yourself.
And men would drive over there and, you know, drink and sit in their truck, drink, pleasure
themselves sometime with a booklet, with a pussy booklet, you know, a lot of, and I hate
to say that word, sorry.
And I should have told you I was going to say it and I'm sorry I didn't.
But I'm telling you right now, I'm going to say it one more time right now.
So if you don't like hearing it, don't hear it when I say it.
A lot of men would get out there and get a pussy booklet and touch, they touch their
penis and, you know, keep patting their own penis until, uh, until something came out of
their body.
It's a little bit of E Jack, you know what I'm saying?
That body sauce, bro.
Little bit of God's front wash, you know what I'm saying?
That starter, that starter sauce.
But with that said, um, this episode is brought to you by better help.
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you know, I'm struggling with that, you know, Martha won't let me, you know, hang out at
the house with my friends or Martha just bought a coffin and is chiseling my name into the
side of it, should I be alarmed?
Yeah, you should.
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Let's take another call here.
As always the hotline 985-664-9503 we've got some responses coming up to the Domino's
pizza delivery guy who had seen his life hit a real shit curb and he wanted to tighten
up his ability and, and really get him, you know, that guy thought he was just gonna,
I mean, that guy didn't know if he was about to lock his own, you know, just duct tape
a damn hot pizza to the side of his head or what, and we got some, some stuff for him.
Sorry, I'm fucking, I'm on some coffee, bro.
I'll be honest.
I've been off coffee for about 10 days, maybe 12, probably 10.
And that's shit today.
Bro, I had a cup, dog, bro, I feel like honestly, I could reach in my own bud and, and, and
find something new.
That's how I'm mean.
That's where I'm kind of coming from at this moment.
So this coffee got me shook, man, got me shook up, bro, like a damn Christmas globe, you know.
And I remember one time I went to India and I bought a Christmas globe because things
are hella cheap in India.
I mean like a nickel, a dime, a 50 cent.
And I got a Christmas globe in there and inside of it, it had a picture of a snowman and he
had a little sign and it said just married Christmas.
That's what it said on it.
And that's one thing that I loved about India.
You could get things that, and they fucked it up every time.
They fucked it up.
It would say happy Halloween, right?
And it will have a picture of the Easter rabbit.
And in his basket, he would have like a, um, he would have like a little, uh, they, in his
basket, he would have like a basketball in there and it would say, Merry Christmas.
You're like, what the fuck?
But that's India, bro.
If you want some real fucking wild shit, go to India, dog.
They got it.
And you can walk as far as you want in India.
They don't give a damn if you want to walk somewhere, start walking, dog.
The cops pull you over where you're going, uh, Delhi, New Delhi, old Delhi, double, double
Delhi, doga, and they'll be like, well, when, when are you going to get there?
You're like, I'm supposed to get there in November.
I'm like, all right, good luck.
Dude, you could get out of any crime.
You know, I was supposed to be in Nashville the other day this past weekend for, uh, for
that comedy show Friday night.
And, and I'm so sorry that that didn't happen.
And, uh, yeah, I just, I wish I got to see everybody.
I miss it.
You know, I miss being able to be out there and, and seeing people and I'm glad I'm having,
I'm, I'm feeling that way.
I'm glad I'm, you know, I'm just missing everybody.
You know, I miss, I just, I don't know.
I mean, I just, I just miss everybody.
So I guess that's one thing when people say, what have you been doing?
I guess I've been missing everybody.
You know, let's take some other calls that came here.
Here we go.
Hey, Theo, my name's Tony from Wichita, Kansas.
Hey there, Tony.
And Tony is a nickname also for Anthony or, um, uh, Antonio, uh, onward.
Um, I'm just listening to your podcast right now and you're talking about the seniors not
being able to have prom and all we've missed.
And I'm one of those, uh, students, I'm a senior this year, uh, canceled prom.
Um, I don't know when I'm going to be able to walk the stage for graduation.
My birthday is on April 17th and I was going to sign at my school to a college for wrestling
and now I can't have any of that.
And it's just, man, it's hard doing online school, being stuck in the house all day.
Um, man, I love your show.
Gang.
Gang.
Brother.
Yeah.
That's, uh, I mean, I, uh, I mean, I can't imagine.
We talked a little bit about it last week.
I can't imagine that.
You know, you can't, you, you know, you got to sneak around if you want to touch a teddy
or do something.
And at your age, I look, I'm going to say this, I'm going to tell you, you know, at
your age, there's probably some women you're like, I don't know if I'm really into them.
But if they want to mingle, touch that teddy baby, okay?
Cause later in life, you will want to remember touching it.
Even if it was mediocre, you know, I remember a girl over there in North Carolina and that's
one of the premier 50 states over there near the East coast, but kind of in the South kind
of people kind of don't know where it is.
And it starts with North, even though it's in the South.
So it's obviously also lost, but a beautiful place, man.
They got mountains.
They got valleys.
They got all kinds of shit and the, um, oh, they had a girl there.
Her breasts felt like a paradigm, uh, shit, diapers, really, you know, baby diapers.
And when you squeak, you ever seen a baby's diaper when it's full, if you get that hot
little, that bottom sack on a baby and they fill that thing up, that thing, there's nothing
more kind of fun really than seeing a full diaper hang off a baby's bottom.
That shit is funny.
You know what I'm saying when a day, that baby is bad ass.
That's kind of the Tony Stewart of babies.
If you see a bunch of babies run around in a, um, oval or a big track or circle or even
just run by you and you see a couple of them got clean diapers and then that one baby goes
by with that fucking fat bat caboose, bro.
And that thing is just, you know, that, that rump has been chunking, bro, or that thing's
been front dripping dog and that diaper is full.
God damn, or something really, you're like, Oh, that's the Tony Stewart of babies right
there.
Um, but anyway, this lady's breasts were like that.
And when you kind of squeezed them, they stayed in the shape you squeezed them in, which is
unprecedented really.
If you think about that, you know, really think about it.
Think about it.
Oh, the titty or something that looks like a titty.
Okay.
Think about it.
You got the thought.
Okay.
Now squeeze it or something.
Now take your hand off and it stays in the squeezed shape.
And you didn't squeeze hard.
You squeeze just a decent amount.
You know, you squeeze just a cozy, the normal amount of squeeze a titty would want.
And it stays like that.
Praise God, brother.
But that's how this lady, so, and I remember the next day I'd written up there with a band
of group of, um, a group of musicians.
What were they called?
This is when I was living in Charleston, South Carolina over there, um, this band, man, they
let me get on stage sometimes and I would wear small shirts and the shirts didn't fit
me that well because I hit a late growth spurt in my and, but I hadn't really purchased made
any purchases to, to, you know, really cover myself since the spurt and, um, geez, I'm
going off track.
Uh, what I'm telling you is this, dude, that if you get a chance, bro, go and you, you just
you, you won't regret it usually, you won't regret reaching for that opportune tit, bro.
You won't regret it, man.
You're not going to think years later, man.
Good thing I didn't, you know, put a couple of dollars in the tank and go over there and
touch a little breast, touch that fucking big front knuckle.
You feel me?
So, but anyway, man, what was your problem?
Yeah, dude, I'm sorry.
You can't go to prom.
That shit is heartbreaking and, and that, you know, not to imagine being a senior in
high school is you're so excited.
You know, it's your year, man, you get to walk around one of your friends has a beard
all of a sudden.
You're like, damn, Jake, he's like, yeah, I know.
Oh yeah.
Oh, you know, things are happening.
And one of your, you know, one of your friends gets knocked up little Deandra.
You're like, damn.
Deandra.
Just going on in, huh?
Yeah.
I'm gonna have a guess.
I'm gonna keep it.
Oh, Deandra.
You know, people are making choices.
One of your, and you don't get the, you don't get to see that every day.
You don't get that experience.
Man.
I mean, I am real sorry, man.
It's heartbreaking, bro.
It's heartbreaking.
But I think that there's going to be other, so there's going to be some other great experience
in your life that's going to happen.
Because of this, there's going to be some way that this shakes out.
That's going to be pretty awesome, man.
Will it be as awesome as your senior year of high school though?
I do not know, bro.
I don't want to lie to you, man.
And do not have prom.
Think about people not having prom right now.
That's got to be hectic.
Not having prom.
There's youngsters missing the prom.
That's why I said that we should have Amazon prom.
You get a box in the mail.
It's got a whole prom in it in the box.
You know, it's $13 is $60 for the upsell.
You know, you get the, you know, you get, you get the whole thing in the box.
You get a little thing of lights, some Christmas lights.
You know, you get a poster, it says, you know, a night to remember, or, you know, a walk
in the smog or something.
You get that.
You know, you get a corset.
You get a, you know, you get a picture of two people eating overpriced Italian food.
You get, you get, then you get somebody vomits in for an extra $13 so that they, somebody
vomits in your car an hour later.
That's prom.
That's Amazon prom.
You know, Tiffany don't have a bra.
So she got to borrow a Janet's, you know, one of Janet's a piece of leg hosiery.
You know, what is that called of panty?
One of them, you know, a leg looks like a, like a panty.
You know what I'm talking about?
They got a tire.
Um, what is that?
Hosiery.
They got a tire hosiery under a breast and they got to borrow that.
That's Amazon.
One of those is in there.
You know, you get a hit of acid somebody gave you don't even work.
That's in there too.
That's $6.
Dude, you got it.
Amazon prom.
You get everything.
You get that angry parent that shows up when you making out with, uh, you know, with a girl.
Everybody calls fucking big Reno.
That's her nickname.
You know, her mom comes out y'all in a damn Mazda over there, Mazda S six or whatever.
And she comes out and tries to fist fight you in the yard because y'all over there necking.
You know, you get to pretend like your date's dress looks good, even though she looks absolutely
ridiculous.
That's prom, bros.
Amazon prom.
You get all that in the box, man.
You get all that in the box.
This mic just broke.
Whatever.
It's life, man.
Dude, I love you, man.
I'm sorry.
You don't, you don't get that.
And look, I'm a, you know, you, you, you don't get that special.
You don't get to go over at somebody's house and there's a keg and someone of your friends
fucking gets alcohol poisoning as to go to the emergency room.
You don't get it.
You know, it's heartbreaking.
You don't get to take photos and then you have to take a big group photo with a group
of people you don't even freaking know, and that costs you an extra $6.
And everybody's got acne.
You don't even, I mean, people hitting gross spurts, even somebody starts at the prom.
They're five too.
When they get there, they five, seven when they leave.
You don't even fucking know what happened to Ernest.
Who knows, bro?
Who knows?
But I love you, man.
Be safe out there.
Damn.
This coffee's got me fucking jacked up.
Let me tell you this, man, if you're not taking care of your crotch and area, now's the time.
And now really is the time.
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What else?
Oh, I was thinking about this, that I have a prediction that Hillary Clinton is going
to end up running against Donald Trump's.
And here's what's going to happen.
Because Joe Bynes is really, I mean, he's disappeared.
I don't know.
He just, he's aging quickly, it seems like.
And if he's not, then I believe it's being made to look like he is, right?
So if he is physically unable to run, which can happen, they, the delegates, the, the,
I don't know if it's, I don't know this part, but the Democratic Party, I don't know who,
I don't know exactly how, but this is true that the Democratic Party can put up a new
candidate.
They can just say, oh, he's too sick.
You know, he can, he can say, I'm too sick.
I can't do it.
I can, for whatever reason.
And then at the last minute, they can just put, this is our candidate.
So I have a feeling that that's what they're going to do.
That the Democratic Party is going to slip Hillary in there the last second because it
takes off the road.
It's all that, that beat down on the road, all that hard, the, you know, the, um, all,
you know, Biden took that, he took all of that, that commotion, he took all the commotion
that was going on.
And then he kind of took all the bullets and then Hillary going to show up there at the
last second.
So I just have a feeling, man, because if that, that's a true thing, like, I think Frank Franklin
Roosevelt had done a couple of terms and then he was too sick.
He was too sick, I think to, to run during like his last term or something or when he
was running for his last term, he was too sick to run and they had to sub him out.
They basically subbed him out.
So you can, people can be subbed out and they don't have to go through like a whole,
like everyone doesn't have to vote again from their party and stuff like that.
They just, uh, the delegates, choose the delegates, choose like, okay, this is who we've decided.
Boom.
So just kind of wild, but that's my predictions, man.
I predict that that's going to happen.
I just wanted to get that out there.
Um, what else?
Let's get to a couple more calls here, man.
Here we go.
Yo, Theo Austin from California.
Hey, Austin, thanks for calling brother.
I got a little question to ask since they're planning on doing vaccines for this, uh, coronavirus.
Let's just say it turns into I am led and turns everybody into zombies.
If I don't get it, do I run for the hills with my girlfriend or do I leave her behind
and take my little shit-do puppies, Max and Cooper?
I appreciate your input.
Thank you.
Man, it's very, you know, that's a sad scenario, brother.
And I think the, you know, it's hard, it's hard to choose, but you take Max and Cooper.
You take Max and Cooper, man.
And I wish the three of you guys the best of luck, man.
I mean, imagine that you're going to be able to make beautiful TikToks with those animals.
Um, let's take another call, man.
Here we go.
Gang.
What's up, Theo?
It's Andrew from Texas.
Uh, just listening to your past podcast and, you know, you were saying a lot of stuff about
how, you know, if you choose to have kids, maybe that's on you if you ain't got food
at home and government's not supposed to take care of you, I agree with that.
But at the same time, a lot of people are out of work right now.
A lot of people don't have, they're not getting a paycheck, you know?
So it's like, you know, a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck to begin with.
I know you know what that's like.
And, uh, you know, a lot of times people don't have food for their kids, you know, past paycheck
to paycheck.
And then, and then now the sudden, uh, they got no jobs.
So I think that's just something to be mindful of when you've got a lot of listeners that,
you know, kind of rely on you for positive influence and advice.
Uh, maybe just take it easy on people a little bit right now.
A lot of people are out of work and that's not their fault, you know, it's not really
necessarily on them.
And, and when the government shuts it down, maybe it's only government to pick shit back
up, give people some fucking paychecks.
That's right.
So.
So.
Gang brother.
Uh, I appreciate the call, man.
I appreciate the constructive, uh, you know, not even criticism.
I wouldn't call it.
I would just say, I appreciate your, your, uh, your thoughts, man.
Um, yeah, I think what I, what I was, you know, and this is from last episode, I remember
I was talking about, um, you know, that it's, it's our responsibility.
Like you're your parent, you're your children's government that if something, you know, your
kids don't have something, it's really.
And I don't have children, but it is you're going to be, your kids look at you as their
government.
You know, um, yeah, I don't know if I was really saying that I, you know, maybe I should
not clarify, but I think I was saying more that our government is just like, uh, it's
just, I just think this is a good time for us to recognize that we, we need to be prepared
you know, we need to be prepared for stuff.
I mean, this past week, I went and bought a bunch of water, you know, I went and got
extra cangos.
I went and got extra things that I could have at home, uh, to make sure that I'm prepared.
Um, you know, the government is just kind of a system.
It's just a, you know, it's something that, that we've created and yes, like we, you know,
we look to them for support and for like some, you know, to keep things structured.
But when they start to break down, like, you know, we're going to be left with ourselves.
If the government breaks down completely, we're going to be left with ourselves.
Um, and I think that's really scary to think.
I'm sure it's way scary if you have children, you know, because you grown, you know, we've,
we've, we've, we've become accustomed to a society that, you know, we're able to, you
know, we have a job because the job exists because of the markets and the capitalism
and, you know, it's all, and, and then that job gives us a paycheck and we're able to
provide for our families.
Um, but I think I was just saying more that, that that system is, it's just a, you know,
it's a system that we've been really blessed with here in America that we're really fortunate
to have.
And as scary as it is that that, that's, that's just a, it's just a system and it's just
a structure and it's, and it could, it could fall apart.
You know, it could fall apart.
And then at that point, we're going to be responsible, uh, completely responsible for
ourselves.
Um, so, yeah, I don't think I was saying as much like, oh, you know, like, you know,
like if you, if you have to work paycheck to paycheck right now that, you know, that
you're fucked up or there's anything wrong with you or, um, you know, like, that, that,
that's, oh, Jesus Christ, why don't I, why don't I do something different for, to make
my life okay, but, um, I don't know, man, I don't know what I'm talking about, dude.
I don't know what I'm talking about, bro.
Okay.
Do not know what I'm talking about.
I'm just saying that we got to, we got to look out for ourselves.
You know, we really have to, and it's probably really scary if you have children, but we
have to look out for ourselves.
We got to try our best to, and I think that this is a reminder in a way that, that there's
a whole nother system that's going on, that's just a system of like existing, um, and, and
this makes that kind of like, you know, we were in such this comfortable hammock of,
of this society that we live in, of this structure, we're really, it really shows you just how
lucky we are to be able to navigate within this kind of comfortable structure where the,
where there are programs for if we can't work or we can't survive that there's programs
in place to help us.
Um, but then also this kind of perks up that other side of me, that, that animal side that's
like, well, what if that goes away?
What if something happens?
Am I going to be able to take care of myself?
Do I have, have I started to think of what my plan would be?
Um, and maybe that kind of thing alone is just a, it's just too dark of a thought to
really present.
So, um, but I hope you're doing well, man.
I hope you're taking care of you and your kiddos out there.
It sounds like, you know, uh, that your family is one thing that's first and foremost on
your mind.
And, and I think that that's real commendable, man, uh, gang brother.
Um, we had a caller last week, a fellow that called any young buck and he was having issues.
He was doing dominoes and delivering, um, hot pie and we've all had it.
You know, we've all had a little bit of dominoes and, oh, and one thing, I don't know if you
knew this about dominoes.
Somebody sent me this DM the other day and, uh, told me this, but Domino's pizza used to
have a character called the Noid and that's not a racial slur or anything.
That's a, um, it's like a cartoon.
It was like a dirty cartoon boy that, you know, was sneaky and was kind of Italian.
I don't, I think he wanted to be Italian.
It was like a wannabe Italian and he would attack, um, he, he, on the commercial for dominoes,
this character, the Noid in OID.
And again, that's not any type of a race thing that is a, that's what they called him.
He would attack the, uh, delivery people or something.
He would mess up the order and so the pizza was going to get there late.
But dominoes, they said that we guarantee that won't happen.
Your pizza will be there in 30 minutes and you got to understand this was unprecedented
for somebody to say from the time you call our shop, 30 minutes later, we're going to
have food at your doorstep, dog, that's gangster dog.
Postmates don't even guarantee that shit.
Postmates don't care.
Postmates say it could be now, it could be 70 minutes.
Dude, I had a lady one time she was driving it over, got hit, got in an accident, got
taken off in an ambulance.
My shit said like three hours because she'd been at the hospital for so long that we'd
had it going up to three hours.
This lady had not dropped off my Carl's juniors.
And this, I don't know if she died or what, bro, but that shit, you know, I mean, it's
a risky game out there when you peddling goods like that.
But let me tell you about this.
The Noid was this little character and it was big.
He had a video game.
He had big stuff and dominoes blew it up at that moment.
They had pizza in 30 minutes.
What?
So the Noid though, there was a guy, let me tell you what happened.
So the Noid, here's what happened on January 30th, 1989, Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally
ill man who thought the ad campaign was a personal attack on him, entered a dominoes restaurant
in Chambley, Georgia, armed with a 357 gang, bro.
So you know, this shit ain't gonna end well.
And he held two employees hostage for over five hours.
Can you imagine that?
Can you imagine?
First of all, you freaking working at dominoes and his second of all, the dude rolls over
the 357 and held you hostage.
Actually probably, it's probably best because you're still on the clock and you don't, you
can't make any pies.
I mean, I guess you could, but the guy might get pissed.
I guess it's up to him.
It doesn't say if he ordered any pies or not, it just says he held two employees hostage
for over five hours after telling the employees that dominoes owner Tom Monahan had stolen
his name because his last name was Noid N-O-I-D.
He forced them to call dominoes headquarters and demand a hundred grand and a white limousine
is getaway transportation.
What an idiot, bro.
You know how hard it is to hide in a white, in a white limousine?
Very hard, bro, unless you hide at like a, I don't know where you'd hide like in a milk
flat, like in a milk area.
After offering to exchange one hostage for a copy of the widow's son, which I get as
some book, the Noid reneged on his offer after a police brought him the book.
Noid eventually became hungry and forced the employees to make him two special pizzas.
Ah, respect, man, respect.
While Noid ate the pizzas with his gun in his lap, the hostages escaped.
It surrendered to the police shortly after.
After the incident, police chief Reed Miller told reporters he's paranoid.
Noid was charged with kidnapping, aggravated assault, uh, doesn't say you fucking assaulted
him, extortion and possession of a firearm during a crime.
I wouldn't call going to dominoes a crime.
That's kind of judgmental.
He was found not guilty by reason of insanity gang, bro.
He had spent time in a mental institution, but committed suicide in 1995, damn.
This incident has been insinuated to have caused dominoes pizza to discontinue advertising
using the Noid as their mascot.
Wow.
So there you go.
That's everything that happened with a Noid.
And thank you to the young man that sent me, sent me a DM and told me that, uh, what else,
man?
What else have I been doing, dude?
Uh, doing nada.
Same thing you've been doing.
Let's get through this episode, man.
Uh, oh, but some, a young fellow called and he had some issues with delivering delivering
pies.
And I want to, you know, some men called in with some responses and, uh, and I want to
share some thoughts, uh, that they wanted to give you a young buck.
Here we go.
Hey, Sean, calling from Gulfport, Mississippi.
I just wanted to send some advice to that young man and call dad and said he was 19 years
old and working for dominoes pizza and delivering pies and didn't feel like he had a direction.
I just wanted to say, brother, look, you're 19.
You're not supposed to have a direction, but you have a job and you're a productive member
of society.
You're not laid up on your mom's couch smoking dope.
You're doing the right thing.
You're headed in a direction.
Don't worry, brother.
It'll come together.
Keep doing what you do and being productive, man.
That's what it's all about.
As long as you've got a little scratch in your pocket, you pay new taxes, you're a 100%
adult man.
So keep doing you brother and keep up the good work.
Trust me, man.
You're young.
Your life will shape up.
Just stay out of trouble and keep on a straight path.
Gang, bro.
I like that message, man.
That's a good message.
It got a little, um, anti-drug at the end with the keep of stay on a straight path.
But before that 100% man, yeah, productivity.
If you stay productive, all you're going to make is more productivity.
That's it.
There's no, it doesn't add up any other way.
If you stay productive, you're going to produce and all that's going to do is create a create
opportunity.
You know, it reminds me of this fellow in our neighborhood growing up, this boy named
Robbie and he was real jacked and he had beautiful hair, God damn man.
I mean, strawberry blonde that he's probably one of the finest.
He was a man, but he would have, he would have, he qualified, he would have qualified
as probably one of the hotter women in our neighborhood.
He was, you know, he was just jacked.
He had big old, he didn't have to, I mean, he had it, you know, he was voluptuous to
be strong as a man, but he had big, his arms look like they had damn titties in them.
He was strong and, uh, and he worked at a grocery store by the windex.
He worked by the place where people would go cry over there and masturbate and, you
know, kind of spend time, you know, before they had mental health and, um, he worked
in there.
I think he was stocking shelves at the beginning and by the end, he worked there for a while
and then by the end, he was a manager and then I think he was a district manager and
then he started his own business.
He got out of that business, but got started two or three of his own companies and I went
and visited the fellow not long ago and he lived in a damn, I mean, huge, beautiful home
in like the nicest neighborhood anywhere in our area.
And he just, it just showed me, he just, he stayed productive.
That's all I'm saying.
You know, he stayed really productive.
Um, let me pull out, uh, here's another couple calls that came in about that same thing,
brother.
Here they go.
Hey, Dio, my name is Jefferson from Denver, Colorado, calling in about the dude couldn't
get his thoughts together, but we got enough info out of him that I wanted to kind of share
something with him.
Um, he's 19 years old and he feels like a loser cause he's that dominoes and doesn't
know what he's doing.
I'm going to tell you 99% of the people on this planet at 19 years old don't know what
they're doing.
And at 23 years old, I started working at dominoes myself and still didn't know what
I was doing at 23.
Uh, you know, I am now 36, I'll be 36 here in a couple of days and I'm doing quite well
for myself and it all started out with dominoes and I still don't have a degree.
You just have to be not afraid to take leaps and push forward at all times.
Sometimes it's hard cause you're complacent where you're at and you don't want to take
the leap and that, you know, that's the thing you have to do when you get older.
So I'm doing myself, you know, you're younger, just playing the pieces of dominoes, not doing
a whole lot man.
And trust me, I'm doing pretty well for myself nowadays.
Gang, there you go, and that's a fellow right there that sold pies to adults and children
and he's doing well, yeah, hanging in there and staying productive.
You can't, there's just, there's no way to really lose.
I don't think if you stay productive, man, there's no real way to lose, man.
Dude, I remember I worked at a place called BJ's Pizzerie and this was a real, this was
a real, you know, beautiful place.
They had pies in there.
They had a little bench to sit on when you walked inside.
It was nice, man.
And one thing I really missed, dude, or one thing I love, they had a soda machine.
They had everything.
Pepsi.
Mr. They had Sprite Orange.
That's when you knew you had, at least we're working at a decent shop.
They had the orange soda, not just the regular shit.
But anyway, and this place was called BJ's, dude, blow, I mean, it's, anybody thinks BJ's,
they think blow jobs.
That's a given.
You ask 70 people, if I say BJ's, what do you think of 65 people going to say blow jobs?
But this place, they said it meant black jacks.
Nobody's fucking thinking that shit, dog.
Nobody's thinking black jacks, dude, unless you had a picture of three black guys on the
sign and they all had a shirt on that said jack on them.
Then I could see that, you know, but this didn't have that.
It was just a, it said BJ's pizza and the pizza was actually, it was good, but it was
fucked up as well because I don't even know the meat was real questionable.
They had little balls of meat and that was what kind of meat we had.
If they wanted ham, they got the kind of red balls and if they wanted a burger, they got
the little brown balls and dude, we had one pie.
You were fucking at the end.
You splashed a fucking little hit of beer on top of it.
People loved it.
Like it just, you know, anyway, I would work in there and the oven was always burning people
and they found human hair in the oven.
But uh, but before that, you know, we worked over there and I had a mop and everything
bro and the shit was crazy and we would get high and fucking sneak fucking a handful of
pudding bro during during the shift, I'd go over there and fucking put my hand in that
pudding and go eat it in the bathroom by myself.
But uh, but what I'm saying to you man is that and here I am, you know, 20, 25, 23 years
later and I'm, you know, and I'm doing a totally different trade.
So that's what I'm telling you too, man, is, you know, a lot of people I think, uh, you
know, you could start somewhere and you could end up somewhere else, but I never stopped
working.
I never stopped working, man.
You know, I definitely, I wasn't always as productive on my time off, but I feel like
I've always had a job of some sort gang.
Best of luck to you.
Don't man.
Obviously people care and they wanted to send in some messages and we actually got a few
more than that, but I believe those are the two that I can find right here.
Uh, we got one other call that came in and it was a response to a gentleman who called
a couple of weeks ago.
His son is an asthmatic and I want to play this call gang, you'll feel, uh, say just
watching to episode two 69, I just heard that guy call on as kids got asthma, uh, something
I just wanted to, to mention you, maybe you can say something in the episode or something
or get the word.
Yeah.
And I will start to interrupt you.
Um, and asthma, some people don't know if in a past, what if in a past life, your son
was a, you know, a fish or, um, water snake?
And you have to think that, I mean, then it wouldn't, it's not shocking that he's not
the best land creature that he doesn't have.
He's not as equipped here.
If you, if you believe in that sort of thing, that someone could be something and then re,
re, you know, be readmitted in the society of something else.
So there's always, there's other levels to it all gang brother.
Uh, let's hear, uh, let's hear more on what.
Something I just wanted to, to mention to you, maybe you can say something in the episode
or something or get the word out for him somehow to get his contact info.
Uh, there's a breathing exercise called Wim Hof breathing.
There's a moderator on that Facebook group for Wim Hof that actually essentially cured
his asthma with this breathing exercise.
Um, so, you know, I don't know for certain if it's going to work, but it definitely worked
for this guy.
Um, but yeah, just wanted to mention it, uh, to get that info to him so they could check
it out.
All right, man.
Gang brother.
Thank you.
Yeah.
So there's an opportunity right there.
If you have, uh, asthmatic or you have some breathing issues, you know, don't have the
ability to breathe.
Well, hit them up, bro.
Check out there that Facebook group and you might be able to find a little bit of solution
there.
Uh, let's take another call that came in right here, man, 985-664950.
Hey, Theo, this is Jacob down here in South Florida.
What's up Jacob in South Florida?
They just, um, well not South Florida, but in Jacksonville that is open the beaches back
up to humans.
And man, I literally thought about flying over there.
That's how much I really just want to go get in the water.
Gang brother.
Um, I heard your episode this week and that kid who called in working at the dominoes who
was kind of upset about where he was in life, uh, kind of reminded me of my own situation.
You know, I went to college for a little bit for the same thing for music.
Uh, didn't work out for me.
I was 18, 19, just delivering pizza, slinging them pies at Papa John's.
Oh yeah.
Them adult pies at Papa John's and that's a risky pie to deliver.
That's them racial pies.
You know, Papa John's, you dropped the pie off and somebody graffiti the N word or the
L word inside of it.
You know, somebody graffiti, you know, somebody writes K I K E, uh, you know, somebody pulls
up a piece of pizza and they, somebody wrote K I K E under it, you know, or, uh, somebody
draws a picture of a Chinese boy on the front jumping off a building.
You know, you have all kind of shit that just on net, just, just dark stuff.
That's, that's really heartbreaking, really.
Uh, so yeah, imagine that not only say the pies late, they get there to late, they open
the box.
They're also suddenly, they're racially offended.
You can get fucking gunned down over there in Inglewood, bro.
Gang shit, man.
Let's hear more from pizza, slinging them pies at Papa John's.
I went from working at Papa John's.
I moved across the country.
I was working for the mentally disabled for a few months.
Praise God, brother.
That was interesting.
Uh, then went and worked at a machine shop doing C and C machining, making gun parts,
all kinds of crazy shit like that.
Damn.
Uh, then I moved back across the country, back home to Florida.
Uh, now I work as a property manager doing inspections of houses.
Oh, and that's definitely sounds like somebody that's fucking hiding bodies, bro.
Gang shit onward, sir.
So for that kid, just keep moving forward, man.
You don't have to have any kind of experience if you nail that interview.
If you're confident, you could basically do whatever you want.
Uh, I don't really know how to do shit, but I've had all these jobs and it's worked out
so far.
So, uh, keep your head up, brother, and keep doing your thing.
Gang.
Gang, brother.
Thank you, man.
Thank you for the call.
And thanks for thinking of somebody else, you know, thanks for thinking of that boy.
You know, you know, one thing I've struggled with recently, I just, just too much thinking
of myself, just too much, man, um, you know, too much in my own head and really the solution
of that is others, other people make you feel good.
They really do.
You know, if you're sick of yourself, man, if you are sick of yourself, nothing will
make you feel better than helping somebody else.
And even man, when I help somebody else, sometimes I, it's hard for me.
There's something inside of me sometimes that makes me, you know, like I had a, uh, a friend
that was working and recently they couldn't work because of the virus and so I thought,
you know, I'll pay him anyway.
They can't work.
I'll pay him anyway and, uh, and one week I even paid him more than what our original
agreed on amount and it's crazy, man.
Because I was okay doing it and then it's still bothered me for a couple of days after
like this greedy part of me was like, man, why'd you, why'd you do that?
You know, and it's funny because it's not even, it wasn't even like a part that was
like attached to my heart or anything.
It was just like, why did you do that?
You know, why, why, I don't know, I can't even figure out exactly what I was upset about.
Like what about it upset me?
But there was just, there's just a part of me that just was, I don't know, just like,
why did you give them, why'd you give them extra money?
Why'd you give extra?
Why'd you, and I'm not saying that that's how I, I'm happy that I did.
I'm happy that, you know, I'm not trying to brag on myself or anything like that.
I'm just thinking, because we're all doing that right now.
We're all helping out where we can.
I'm just trying to think about, there's just that little part of me that sometimes will
flare up and be like, man, why'd you do that?
You know, why?
And that's the devil, man.
That's the dark archery.
That's the dark art, artistry that's in us.
That's in the world.
That little thing is that little ma fuck tapping on your shoulder.
Hey, bro, why'd you do that?
You know, that little part of me that wants to, I don't know, just, I don't know.
It's just the dark arts, man.
It's that thing that, it's that part of me that wants to not be helpful or not be loving.
I don't know what it is, man.
And it's almost impossible to really kill that off completely.
It's just impossible, you know, I don't know what I'm talking about, man.
Let's take a call right here.
Here we go.
Hey, yo, Theo, my name's Brett and I'm from Canada.
Hey, Brett, what's up, man?
I would love to know if some people from different countries want to hit the hotline.
I want to know how they're surviving around the world, man.
I've been thinking a lot about that.
How they're surviving over there in Guam, Vietnam, Scotland, Ireland, Canada, United
Kingdom, okay, Spain.
If you're from another country and you got the opportunity to let us know, let us know
just how it's holding down over there, because there's a lot of reports online.
You know, I mean, every day that like Italy has the most Italy, this something, this,
you know, China, the Chinese are lying.
You know, it's all just like all kind of jibber jabby.
Oh, I just want to let you know that yesterday was one year sober, completely sober for me,
no alcohol, no drugs.
And I owe a lot of it to you, but I owe most of it to myself for keeping in there with
that grind.
And I say I owe a lot of it to you, it's because you just have that positive attitude and outlook
on everything, man.
And just watching you and watching how you interact with people makes me want to do the
same, but in my own way.
So yeah, I just have to just got to say thanks to you, man, for just for being there, man.
Hey, you be good to yourself.
Thanks.
Thanks, man.
Thank you.
Thank you for the nice words, man.
One of my favorite things you said, you said, I got it, I want to thank you, but I really
want to thank myself, man, good for you.
Good for you, man.
Good for you.
Thinking about that.
Just think, just recognizing you did this for yourself.
Yeah, you didn't give up on yourself, man, because that's a hard battle to fight.
You know, fighting the battle of addiction and the battle of, you know, of that debt,
that shoulder devil, you know, he'll take your dander from put it on a damn line and
show it to you.
Say, dang, don't you want this now?
You know, just having that, I don't know, man, just that's awesome.
I'm real, real happy for you.
I'm really happy for you, bro.
You know, and that must feel good to not just not have given up that productivity, man,
to just not give up.
Congratulations, brother.
That's beautiful, dude.
We did a lot, man.
We did a lot in this call.
Let's, let's take, let's, we'll end there, man.
We'll end there for today.
A lot of great calls have come in and, um, yeah, I'm feeling kind of fucking jacked up
today, man.
I don't know.
I'm trying.
I'm just staying busy and stuff, but I'm just feeling kind of jacked up.
You know, I just kind of angry at myself, I guess, and, uh, yeah, I guess I don't know.
Sometimes a lot of this, yeah, I don't know.
I think sometimes fear just slips in like, I don't know what I'm doing, you know, I'm
going to mess everything up or I'm going to, and then my brain will tell me, oh, well,
there used to be a time when you knew what you were doing.
And I don't even know if that's true, but that's my brain.
Tell me, my brain will play that card.
Remember when you used to know what you were doing?
So then I start to get upset at myself because I'm like, damn, I used to know, but that might
not even be true.
You know, my brain makes its own cards like we agreed there was a certain deck and then
my brain has just been making cards of its own and it uses them sometimes and, and it's
just, uh, it's tough and it is, it's tough.
It's tough and I know a lot of people are going through things and a lot of people are
struggling and in different ways and, um, and, you know, that gentleman said it best right
there, you know, to be good to yourself and just try and be loving and, um, you know,
everything will be okay.
Everything is okay.
You know, everything is okay and, and I'm grateful, bro.
I'm grateful to be here today.
You know, and what's going on, man?
Nothing is going on.
I talked to my niece earlier that made me feel good, uh, you know, I talked to my brother
this week, uh, hung out with my ex-girlfriend the other day and we've made a puzzle and
that was very nice.
You know, we just had a nice, simple time and, you know, I'm grateful to have people
in my life that love me even though I feel like I haven't always been the best person
and, uh, and that's interesting how in loving somebody, there's so much forgiveness in love,
you know, it's such a, you know, when somebody really loves you, man, they really, really
loves you.
They, uh, they're really, they're, they're forgiving all the things that you have done
even if they don't even know what they are, really.
You know, when somebody just loves you, just really, it's just a rare, it's a rare thing.
Isn't it?
Isn't it rare?
Think about it.
When you ask somebody how many times in your life have you been in love and they say, oh,
maybe once, maybe twice, some people say never, but you know, to think, to think of it, how
long we stay alive and, and the things that we do and, and how many times have you been
to the grocery?
How many times have you felt sorry for yourself or how many times have you, you know, fallen
over while you was reaching for something, hundreds, bro, that all those answers could
be hundreds, a thousand, maybe, but when somebody says, how many times you've been in love,
you know, you say, man, once, maybe, maybe twice, or how many times you love someone
just unconditionally, you know, you know, maybe never, man, when I say, when I think
about that one, I don't know if I ever have, but it's just so rare that when you think
about the time we spend here, and then when you think about, man, how many times I've
loved someone for all the years and all how just what a rare thing it is, you could spend
a year paying them for gold, you'll probably, probably find 20 golds, 20 items of gold.
But still, you might only fall in love twice in your life.
Three times.
I mean, it's just love is just a, it's a powerful thing, man.
It's powerful to say to somebody, man, you know, I love you.
I love you, no matter what, I don't think I've ever done that.
I think my love is always, I love you until or I love you, but or I love you as long as
or I'm going to really love you when you know, it's hard, it's it's hard, man.
Being alive is interesting.
It's an interesting, interesting journey.
All right.
Thank you guys for supporting the podcast.
Our advertisers better help and manscaped.
I hope everybody's doing well.
I appreciate you listening.
Some weeks are tougher than me for me than others.
I'm grateful to have a job, you know, and I hope you guys are doing okay.
You know, I hope that that you're not being too hard on yourselves.
You know, there's a lot going on.
There's a lot of sticky stuff out there.
So just stay out of the glue, you know, but, but stay in the honey.
You feel me?
Be good to yourselves, man.
You guys deserve it, man.
Okay, this is Bishop Gunn with anything you want.
Okay, let's go.
Let it make a name
Keep your time when you risk checking out a list
Looking to assist when another man's files will see
So you take another job, line up to a code
Do it till you're broke, to escape reality
I can hear you saying
That's why the hold you got on me
Don't let me swim all night long
If you'll just give me what I need
You can have anything you want
This reminds me a little bit of Wise Prep Panic, this song
I'm 18, had a dream of the big screen
All gone up where the bright lights shine
But you wound up here 21 years
I've got black tears gettin' ready for the next in life