This Podcast Is... Uncalled For - Kat Anna

Episode Date: May 22, 2026

Today's guest is Kat Anna, a Polish-Canadian men's health expert.  You'll love this conversation. Check out Kat's work at menneedlovetoo.org

Check the mic will go live stories told their eyes and dive Topics fresh with every spin you won't guess what's coming in Every week a new surprise minds away never lives conversations bold and free Tune in now just wait just press play where is the shop a pin Hello everybody welcome to this prize guys is on call for and I have another special guest with me today, so if you could introduce yourself, please. My name is Kat Anna, and I'm the founder of Men Need Love 2. Okay. And what exactly is a man, men need love to, if done?

Let me ask you. Yeah, it is a global movement based on One Truth. And that is then that men deserve to be seen and heard, loved and supported, and they deserve to be part of the global conversation about domestic violence. Okay. So you're mostly focused on domestic violence side of things? I'm guessing that or? That's not my main focus. My main focus is to give men a safe space to talk about their truths, to connect to themselves,

to talk about the struggles that they can't really say to the people around them or they have anyone or they just don't feel safe. To connect them to other men in the community where other men that are on the same journey as them, that they can support each other and grow together. And the advocacy for the domestic violence data is a part of men you love to. Because I realize after speaking with thousands of men and working with so many, that a lot of them were actually in very abusive relationships. and a lot of them don't realize that it's abuse,

even if it's physical. They're like, well, she's smaller. She doesn't hurt me that much. And then when it's emotional or psychological, they just kind of accept it as the way things are for men and they don't actually realize that they're being in an abusive relationship. So that was to me just the next step that I can do something that will live after I'm gone that can make a difference in men's lives.

And in family's lives, it's not just for men. Okay. All right. Thanks for clarifying that. So what are some of the other issues that you feel men deal with? Well, I think it's the stigma around expressing any kind of struggle or expressing a need, right? As a man, if you express, hey, I want some affection, I want a hug, that people think that that's weakness, right? you get judged for that.

You get made fun of. If you are looking for support, they're like, well, just man up. Just do it. Why do you need to go to therapy? Why do you need to go and talk to someone? So there is such a huge stigma when a man is having any kind of struggle. And I feel like that has to stop because, you know, 75% of suicides are men. And there is a reason that that's happening because when you share your pain,

you drop a lot of the weight just by sharing it. When you speak about the shame that you're holding, the shame loses its power once it's spoken. So there's a lot of healing and a lot of power and having safe spaces and places to go where you can talk about having a struggle and not be judged, not be shame, not be made fun of. And I think that silence and that inability to communicate one struggle

is the biggest issue that men face right now. Okay. Yeah. Now I was for myself, I'm two chicken to attempt suicide. One. And two, I think I found the outlets to express some of one doing with. And that would be this podcast that we are currently working on right now. So, and I'm not going to lie, I do have my own issues and all that.

So I think the big one is, I'm very single. And I don't know how much of it is my fault or whatever, but I've just not been lucky. but with the opposite gender. There have been women that have dated who have been on the podcast, but it's always been sort of a platonic type thing and all that's. It's like I try to approach someone. I get rejection. or death threats.

Oh, dear. Yeah. Or find out that it's a, it's all a scam. I fell for a sweetheart scam for 20 years ago. Wow. And,

and the, the apps don't help and my social awkwardness doesn't help. I put me in a party situation. I'm probably the guy that's not talking to anyone, because no one's talking to me.

Thank you for sharing that. And I think it's hard for all of us to say. Because we're supposed to be single and we're supposed to be thriving, right? Like single life, right? You don't have anyone to worry about and, you know, the bills are paid and you're having a great life. But humans are wired for connection. We need that reflection from another person. We need intimacy.

We need touch to survive. And so when the messages out there are you should be single and you should be happy or you should be single until you're healed. Like there's just this, again, this idea that we don't need each other, that, you know, women don't need men and men don't need women. They're just doing their own thing. And that's incorrect because we really need each other. And it's okay to say like, hey, like, I'm okay, but I really miss having a partner. I miss being with someone and sharing my life. my joys with a person.

And the apps and just the narrative that's out there for the, for the women as well, does not help in the dating, in the dating field at all. So I hear you. Also compounding the facts for me is, I'm in Kansas City, Kansas City consistently ranks in the bottom of cities for singles.

And I have theories on, why that's the case, mostly because I've seen people coupling up in high school and they're still together to this day. That was like if you don't have a partner coming out of high school, you're out of luck. Yeah. Is that what it's like basically? That's pretty much what it's like I had a, I had one mile high school bags on early on in the podcast. And he reminded me that I once had a theory of turning if I turned 21. And that hadn't happened.

Why bother? Was the theory. And I'm starting to see maybe there's some truth of that. So. So that's part of it. Another part is I am on the autism spectrum. So that has affected me quite a bit as well. So are other women.

I'm sorry? I said, but also so are other women. Like people that are neurodivergent may have some obstacles in traditional with people who are not neurodivergent because there's maybe that difference and that lack of understanding. But certainly between people that are neurodivergent, those relationships I've seen are a lot easier. So yeah. So have you looked into dating for neurodivergent people? One of the women who was on the podcast that I had did it, it identifies as the neurodivergence. Okay.

And sadly, that was the last time I saw her in person. Okay. Well, listen, don't give up. I'm 47. The world's trying to tell me give up. I'm 47, and I'm not buying into that. So if anything, to convince myself, it is what it is in the moment. And you know what?

We have to keep showing up and we have to keep showing up as our authentic self. And I love that you have this podcast where you get to share your voice and people get to know you through your podcast. And you seem very authentic and very open. Thank you. And it's just the right person will come to you as my idea. Like I'm not out there chasing. but yeah, it cannot click with, you know, 20 people, but it just takes that one person.

So listen, we cannot give up home. Right, right. I hadn't met someone in the last couple of months. I told them about the podcast and they started listening and learning more about me as they've been listening. I'm not naming names, but I thought that was, this discussion was that she said she was into listening podcasts i gave her a list and included my podcast and yeah started listening from uh that points and and uh yeah so i feel we've

kind of hit up but at the same time may have screwed up a thing or two too so uh we'll see i guess Yep. You'll have to wait and see. But on the whole, you know, that's what I think does not come naturally for me. I am rarely, I don't go to clubs or anything. And I, yeah, rarely am in an opportunity to, you know, put myself out there and all that, you know, I mean. Part of it is because I do work a lot, not just with this, but also teaching chess, I work with a lot of kids doing that. And there are some women, but not many who play the game. Or really board gaming in general.

there are there are women that participates but they're already coupled up i've been saying so so yeah and uh and some of the more a female-centric um activities i'm yeah just so that i don't quite feel like i should have any business going to them or anything so what about so like i don't Oh, sorry, move my camera. Okay. I don't believe in dating apps and I'm not going to say for everyone. But I think there's a lot of scams. I think they're targeting men for not just memberships, but to pay for certain things.

A lot of them are bots. A lot of them are not even women. Right. A lot of them are not real people and they advertise that they have the surplus of women. But it's really like one woman for every 10 men. The women just get bombarded with messages even if they're real. Chances are like she'll never see your message. because on any given day in a 24-hour period,

she will have hundreds of messages. So it's just very imbalanced, and it's really targeting men and their self-worth and their self-esteem. So I don't recommend dating apps. But there's like events for singles where you get to meet people in person where you guys are like on a boat or doing an activity. There is an app called Meetup where like people have been using, I've been using me for interest for,

I've been meeting me up for a years. I ran a couple of meetup groups. Yeah, and that's a beautiful way to connect with people that have the same interest in hobbies. And if some of your hobbies, if a lot of your hobbies are more men-centered, then maybe you can just step out of your comfort zone and do like a game night or like painting or something where there would be more women because if all your activities are mostly including men, that's not going to happen. So it's just like it's not doing something that you're not interested in.

It's just maybe coming out of your comfort zone, trying something that is a little less male dominated, like even cards or like game night for board games and stuff like that. There's a lot of like crime, like maybe not where you are, but like where I am near Toronto, there's like a lot of like crime board games and crime books and stuff like that. That's really interesting. But also like music festivals and places where there's people that are just out.

Because that's where the singles that are not on the apps are. Right. Like if they're not on the apps, they're out there living their best life. They're at the gym. They're in the forest. They're on the beach. They're at some festival singing and dancing. So that's where they are.

And, you know, we have to get out of the house. Occasionally if we're going to meet them one of these days. Right. Right. So I do go to stuff like that. from time to time. But yeah, the one that event I was talking about was, it was me and everyone else was talking about themselves, but no one was talking to me.

That was a singles night. Okay. Yeah. And how did that make you feel? It made me feel like, why the hell am I even here? Okay. Can I ask more questions? Yeah.

Okay. So because I'm assuming that you're someone that is, you seem very great a conversation, but maybe you're not the person to start the conversation. No. Is that true? That that is a very true in social situations like that. Yeah. So if you're not the one to start the conversation and other people are, so then they'll start their conversations and you are left out, but you're interpreting that as rejection. So then you take an even further. step back, but it's in actuality, just the situation and the fact that you didn't start a conversation with anyone. But then you'll interpret it probably as no one wants to talk to me. Why am I, what am I doing here? So I would urge you to just come out of your comfort zone and see that once you do engage and once you do start having a conversation or like reach out to someone and try to connect that you will get a response. And then maybe when you're not getting the interactions and the engagement that you want,

it's not a reflection of your self-worth or the fact that no one talks to you. It's just you haven't initiated. So maybe looking at like a couple of great conversation starters that are very general, very like opening, that are not intrusive, that are like not creepy. because sometimes when we panic, we say some things that are like, right? So I've heard that too, right? So yeah, so maybe just looking at being able to start a conversation

and start that engagement is something that would be beneficial for you. Okay. Keep that in mind. So, yeah, another Canadian on my podcast. I've had a lot of Canadian guests lately, so. You have? Yeah. Okay, Michael, so your last thing is Polish.

Yes, it is. I'm Polish and my father said. Okay, but you're not like, you didn't grow up in Poland. No, I'm born and raised here in Kansas City. See, I'm born and raised in Poland. Really? Yeah. Okay.

Polish girl, Polish Canadian. Nice. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. So my mom's side was, my mom passed away 15 years ago. She was Cajun. Oh, really? Yeah. So, ballast on my dad's side, Cajun on my mom's. That's lovely.

And recently learned from my brother that's in Warsaw, since we're bringing in Poland, that there is a hotel, Chernevsky. in Warsaw. That's really cool. I did not know that. Yeah, but it's, I don't know if they're related or anything, anything, but yeah. That would be interesting to know. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, because certainly if your father's family is back home, right? If it is, it's, it was my great-grandfather that came to the States. My grandfather and my father were both raised in Pittsburgh, actually. Really? Yeah. See, my great-grandfather fought in the war in New York. Like, his name is actually, like, where the Statue of Liberty is, and they have, like, all the soldiers' names. But then he went back home and, like, found a girl, married her, had, like, 10 kids.

So, like, there's family, like, in Chicago, and then there's family here. It's just... But Polish people have a lot of kids. So I'm sure you actually have a big family in Poland that you're probably not aware of. I'm pretty sure I have a big family. in Pittsburgh that I'm barely aware of. I found a purely by accident through LinkedIn. I have a distant cousin with my exact name.

That is so cool. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. And yeah, again, no kids because it's kind of hard to have kids when you're having the type of problems. I'm having by due. have two nieces and have you.

I love that and I'm sure you're an awesome uncle. I try. Yeah. I try to be. Michael, so I was really surprised when you reached out to me because I did listen to some of your podcast episodes. And this is the topic that a lot of people don't want to talk about, right? The way men are being treated and just the domestic violence issues and just the struggle. so I wanted to hear from you, like, why you wanted to tackle this topic on your podcast.

Right. Well, I'm open to almost any topic, but I didn't even know domestic violence was part of this when I first got in touch with you. But I think it's important to just get out there, my own struggles. see if there were anything that could be done and for an audience to listen to and see if there's anything they can take away from it. Yeah, I just have an honest conversation about the reality of being human.

Right? Because I think and I say this sometimes is that it's always women and children and dogs. men don't even have a place, like they don't even get mentioned. And things like being seen and being heard and being loved and being supported, they are human needs. And so is touch.

So is intimacy. We need four hugs a day to survive, eight hugs a day to be happy. And 12 hugs a day to thrive and grow. So when you're by yourself and you're a man, And you don't have that physical close relationship with like a brother or like even a guy that's near you. You don't have your parents around. So it's like, where are you getting your hugs? Where are you getting just your safety from?

Because a hug is safety. It's like, I see you. I'm here. I love you. So where do men get that? And men are so isolated, especially in North America, families are so isolated. They're not living together with their parents. They're not living together with their grandparents.

Everyone has their own place and everyone is by themselves and they work from home and then they're on their phone, which is not an actual connection. Like a phone connection, chatting and having thousands of friends online, when you're down on the floor crying, there's no one that's actually going to come and sit with you. Those are not real connections and they're not real friends. So all these things are human needs. And I feel like the world has forgotten that men are human and they need them to. And they have shamed men for having human freaking needs. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. I live with two of my siblings. And we're not that close that we're hugging you all the time. So, but yeah, that's good. I did see something recently about that's a four hugs a day thing. Yeah. And being neurodivergent, how is like physical affection for you? Do you, does it make you uncomfortable or are you okay with physical connection? Depends on how well I know the person.

Okay. Yeah. And depends on the situation, of course. So like say, I'm a sporting event, sharing on a team and they do well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's totally acceptable in that case, hugging it out. Or seeing a close friend I haven't seen in a while. Uh-huh. Huggled app a moment. And, uh, yeah, I had no problems with that sort of thing. But, but, uh, but, uh, yeah, it's kind of hard to, uh, establish that sort of thing.

When, uh, once again, going back to my dating history, all the women that have, date it's dump me after one or after one dates two if I'm lucky so yeah yeah and I really admire the resiliency that men have to keep going um because women don't often get rejected we are the ones that control, like the physical contact and the intimacy. And we get to say if we're going to be intimate with someone and if we're going to date them. So like, and as a woman, if you get rejected, you remember the guy. You remember where you were. You remember what you were wearing.

Like, it doesn't often happen to women that they get rejected by men. And a lot of women will carry this resentment and this deep pain of rejection for years and like decades and like obsessed about the one guy that ever rejected them and I'm always like guys like do you ever think about men they'll go to a bar and they will they can approach 10 women in one night and none of them will want to have a drink with them or want to have a conversation like men get rejected so often and then even in marriages if the woman is withholding affection, then it's the man trying to come up looking for connection or intimacy and he keeps getting rejected. I'm like, but they just keep coming. And I think you guys are so resilient.

And I think you were billed that way because of the hunter, your hunter instincts is that you just can't give up. Like if a woman rejects you, you just can't make that be the end of it. you got to keep going. So I really admire you guys for the amount of times that you get rejected and even the best of you. And just how much rejection is a part of your life in so many ways. And you guys just keep showing up. And you're so resilient to it. I really admire that in men.

Women would not be able to handle that. The reproduction would have ended in the world if women were the ones. getting rejected as much as men. I see. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're running low on time, unfortunately, so... Okay.

Because I am a cheap skate and I can't afford the full Zoom. So do you have any closing thoughts for me from the audience? I just want the men out there if they're struggling to know that they're not alone. And the first thing is just to reach out to someone. one. There's been a lot of studies done that if a man or if a person is, you know, having suicidal thoughts and they're in a really dark place, that all it takes is eight minutes of connection. And this is that I say all the time to people, I have a code with my friends that says, do you have eight minutes for me? And that means drop whatever you're doing, I need you. I'm in a dark place.

Because with eight minutes of connecting to someone that cares about you and that loves you can change your brain waves and can change your mindset from hopeless to hopeful that there's no reason that anyone that's in a dark place cannot get eight minutes for someone in their life that they care about that loves them and cares for them. So if you're struggling, reach out to someone, say you need help, say you need to chat and that someone show up for you. And all it takes is eight minutes and you're never alone. All right. Well, thank you, Kat, for coming on the podcast and thank you for your kind words and words of wisdom

and for everyone out there take easy I hope you'll take her advice and we will oh where can we where can people find you men need love to.org all right men need love to

dot org check that out all right thank you so much and we will talk again soon. Okay, thank you, Michael. This podcast is Uncalled for. It's hosted, produced, and edited by myself, Mike Chernevsky. Our opening music is the, this podcast is uncalled for theme music,

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