This Podcast Is... Uncalled For - Thoughts on Weddings and ULC Ordination

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

Yes, Mike is ordained through the Universal Life Church, which offers online ordination. No, he doesn't do weddings. Today's Thoughts episode explores the idea of priesthood and why Mike doesn't do weddings.

Hello, We'll go in live Stories told their eyes and dive Topics fresh with every spin You won't guess what's coming in Every week A new surprise Mind's away, never lies

Conversations bold and free Tune in now just waiting Just press play when always the sharp opinion Hello everyone, welcome to the podcast I need to do this episode today. Thoughts on being ordained. Yes, I am technically ordained through the Universal Life Church. A little more about that is sick.

But what prompted this today was getting up and receiving an email. Yeah, I'm getting married in March. could you officiate the wedding? So I do not do weddings either as a minister or as a wedding photographer or videographer. So let's get that out of the way right now. Do not ever invite me to work at your wedding because the answer is going to be no. All right. I don't attend weddings, period.

Okay, the last time I attended a wedding, 2003, the Casson Nick's wedding, I got drunk and made a complete entail jackass out of myself. All right. And also I distinctly remember one Reggie Foster, was so about a year ago now at the state semi-final. like Garner-Ritcherton and Blue Valley West. I'm just thinking of myer, Reggie asking me, so, Ski, when are you going to marry? Reggie, what the fuck are you talking about?

Okay, here I am, 47, still haven't been laid, little alone anywhere close to being married. All right. And you all know the story by now. if I approach someone, I either get rejected or get rejected and get a friend with my life. So, yeah, not fun. And the few times it did work out, she does me after one date or two if I'm lucky. So once again, I'm going to put it out there.

If you know someone who's local and would fit with me, just hug me up. All right, that's probably going to be, that's probably going to be the only way at this point. Are you fucking kidding me? Anyways, yeah, I am not getting ordained, but I do list specifically. I do not do weddings. Okay. I might look into doing a congregation if the time is right. But for now, it's just something that I have everything.

And keep in mind, you're talking to someone who came from two different Christian traditions that have radically different takes on the concept of priesthood and our nation. So, of course, raised Roman Catholic. Catholics treat the priesthood as a full-time job. All right. You get hired as a priest, you commit yourself to a life of celibacy. not involuntary but celibacy and and yeah you work in the service of the church right and if you're lucky you'd be it could be called to be a bishop and then from

there you can become cardinal and if you are really really lucky the Pope and I'm happy say we now have an American Pope which is pretty cool not thrilled by the fact there's a white socks fan but still pretty cool that we have an American as our holy father now so the Catholics treat the priest to and a ordination like a full-time job all right Hopefully they're not molest and ultra boys. Because that's, you know, that's still very much and a concern with the Catholic Church.

And I digress. And of course, as you know, I was also a Latter-day Saint for a while. The Lair Day Saints, the Mormons, their concept of priesthood is radically different in that if you are a male over the age of 12, you are ordained to be a priesthood holder. And there are different offices within the priesthood. So as a young man,

they ordain you to the erroneic priesthood, as in Aaron. Under which you have deacons, teachers, and priests, I think it's the order. Deacon, deacons, 12 years old, teachers, 14, priests at 16. And technically the bishop, and they use bishop. A bishop in the LDS church is about the equivalent of a pastor in the Catholic church. So not so we can't confuse with bishops in the Catholic Church, the equivalent of that would be the state presidency. but every young man has the priesthood and I've had to do certain things under the priesthood like pass out sacraments as they call it's you know the bread and the water you have to do the

long prayer before everyone partakes I'm not going to try to recite the prayer right now now, but I can tell you you screw it up, you got to do it all over again. All right. And yeah, so that's the ironic priesthood. There's a second priesthood for adult men called the Mekustic priesthood in which there are a few offices, including elder. And this is the office I held. when I left the church was as a church elder, then high priests, then you have your general authorities,

your 70th and your apostles, right? And they all have different responsibilities as well. So, of course, you have to be in the mastic priesthood holder to go. on a mission. And in order to go on a mission, yet I never went through the process, but I assume going through the temple part of it, that's a different level of, that's a different kind of priest's authority right there. I go on a mission. That's another exercise of priesthood as well. But needless to say, I've been in the, I've been ordained before I had approached the Universal Life Church. And, yeah, it's all right. That's all right. But the Universal Life Church, this is the church that anyone in theory could be,

ordained. All right. So, so technically universal life church monastery is the entity now. So I'm going to read the Wikipedia for this. The ULC monastery is a multi-religious interfaith ministry that is an online ordination program, which allows individuals to preside for weddings, baptisms, and funerals in the United States, depending on the state and county laws. and currently they claim over 20 million ministers

so if you're listening to this you may yourself be a minister the monastery was found in 1977 as an offshoot of the Universal Life Church the church first established a website they'll ask individuals to apply for our nation

in 95 and they formed from the original church in 2006 following financial and legal disputes between the two bodies. The monastery then began ordaining, ordaining ministers through their own website. The Universal Life Church Monastery's mantra is, we are all children of the same universe, and also has two core tenants, don't think that which is right and every individual is free to practice their religion in a manner of their choosing as mandated by the First Amendment.

So long as that expression does not impinge upon the rights or freedoms of others as in accordance with the government's laws. All right, that's pretty cool, pretty straightforward stuff. Now, of course, there have been some famous people who have been ordained in this church. just point out a few of them, but there's a full list of ministers in the Universal Life Church that you can find on Wikipedia. So one that's really interesting to me because I just talked about Mormonism is Glenn back, you know, Glennie himself, which is funny to me because Glenn is a Latter-day Saint.

He has that priesthood. authority Sir Richard Branson is a minister in the church David Byrne of the talking heads Stephen Colbert has an interest Nation

Brian Cranston the actor is a minister as is Benedict Comerbatch and Tony Danza Guy Fierry is a minister Kathy Griffin

is a minister Tom Hanks my fellow Villa fan the late's George Harrison of the Beatles is a one

so let's see Dwayne the Rock Johnson in addition to being an actor former wrestler and had his first acting gig on Star Trek

and now part of the UFL is a ULC minister which is a pretty cool as was LVJ Linden

Baines Johnson our 36th president Jimmy Kimmel is one that's a that's good to know Lady Gaga

is A Mr. As was the late John Lennon Sir says the theme here with The Beatles They were all ULC

Mr. Sir Paul McCartney Was one Sir Ian McKellen Was one I think Sir Ian did Sir Patrick

Stewart's most recent wedding. Alonis Morset, God herself. Any talking about fans? That's pretty cool. The current governor of California, Gavin Newsom, Stevie Nix. Not to be confused with Steve Nick.

Don't surprise me if Steve were to be a minister to himself. That's on him. Conan, Conan O'Brien, is a Mr. the Lake Joan Rivers was one Jason Segal

or the Marshall in the time about your mother yeah no food or drink of the fear not even groceries and prepare for your ace last Kevin Smith is a

minister and the other the other living the last beetle that we didn't mention Sir Ringo Star is a minister George Sakey

is a minister and this one this one's interesting too Vanilla eyes ice ice baby so and and I know I'm a technically minister too

but don't ask me to do weddings okay I have no business being at weddings all right unless it's my own we all know that will probably never happen, unfortunately. So don't ask me to shoot your wedding. Don't ask me to officiates your wedding.

Don't even ask me to attend because it's going to be now all the time. And with all that out of the way, let's go and end this portion of the podcast. So I want to thank you all once again for listening. and we will talk soon. This podcast is Uncalled for. It is hosted, produced, and edited by myself, Mike Chernevsky. Our opening music is this podcast is Uncalled for theme made at suno.com, sUNO.com. And our outro music for this episode is Pretty and Invisible by Mon Pleasure, licensed under Creef Commons,

CC0.1.0 universal license, and you can find this music at free music archive.com. Please support the podcast and purchase our exclusive uncalled for merchandise, t-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, stickers, and so much more. Go to www.com.comfacepress.com slash uncalled for pod. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you next time.