Three Bean Salad - Monuments

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Annie of Cork City reckons it’s high time the beans talked monuments and who could argue with that? Tune in for a lukewarm take on this zeitgeistiest of topics which incorporates everything from art to politics to nougat.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [e-mail] @beansaladpod

Morning. How's it going, Ben? I'm depleted. Oh dear. But you are your most hireable from a voiceover point of view, aren't you? When you're illness? Oh, yeah, just sad, sad irony. when you're illness. Oh, yeah, just sad, sad irony. Welcome to smooth classics on Bean FM with me permanently ill Ben cartridge. Absolutely anything just as long as 12 hours before he said the wrong prawns. And that's how you that's why you now have to eat the wrong

prawns than you every other day in order to maintain a career. Just in case, just in case a job comes in. It's tough, isn't it? Fetid mussels, served in a red Thai curry. In a landlocked city centre. That was, I think that was the issue. I ordered the mussels in a landlocked city. Well, when you only eat Lichtenstein mussels, you get them sent from Lichtenstein in the

post. Sometimes Mongolian. They've been bred in Lichtensteinese puddles. Yeah, just to fill in the list, I've been laid low by, I suspect some shellfish. God, you're hot when you're ill, Ben. I'm sorry. It's just unreal. It's just your tone has gone down. You've just, your tone's gone down two octaves. There's a touch of glamour as well. Henry, you might not know this, the muscles, he ate them in Bath, in the city of Bath. So he's got, it's a high end.

It's quite so there's a Regency element to it as well. You know? Oh yeah. It's a Georgia and England. Yeah. Yeah. You were eating muscles in bath. Where are you? Yeah. Not the bath. Which is also kind of quite a partridge move. Just decadence. I'm sorry. Ben, it must have been in your dating years. It must have been awful for you. Cause if you'd met, you know, someone while you were slightly ill, they'd have fallen in love with you. Oh, they'd have wanted to run away with you. It's not just love. It's just it's a reckless kind of love, isn't it? It's kind of just just say well to family and job. And it's just, it's just got a Lichtenstein and any prawns together. go to Liechtenstein and eat prawns together. It's what's known as a family smasher. It's such a hard love that what you do is you go

online and you order ceramic little effigies to be made of all your loved ones and then you smash them up with a hammer. It's like it's over. I'm not talking to anyone I've ever met again. I'm going to live in the warm embrace of Ben's ill voice. That's all I need. Probably get the occasional germ myself. I will get the squints once every week or so. Yeah, it's worth it. It'll be worth it because then he can tend to me. But then what happens is then you wake up you wake up the next morning, you look at Ben and he looks at you and he goes, I'm actually feeling myself again. I'm actually feeling great now! Woohoo! Yay! Do you want to go and see a battle reenactment? You know what, we can actually make it to a reenactment of the Battle of Bosworth if

we jump in the Convertible Saab now! And we can actually stop off at the Carvery on the way and on the way back! I've been absolutely assassinated. Sorry for that. No, you've got it bang on. We have got it bang on. And that poor woman's thinking, can I put together these ceramic figurines of my family, can I somehow stitch them back together?

Powder them into such a dense powder because his voice was so deep. And then they start trying to feed you off prawns don't they Ben? But you can't get prawns at a carvery that's the one thing they won't serve at a carvery. You can't get prawns at the carvery he's scot free you can't touch him now. So what is it? Is it just you just generally a bit under the weather? Ben? What is it? Then I don't want to go into the details so much. But there was there was a purging of the soul. Yeah. I said was it was it

dodgy muscles? Do you think I don't I don't want to impugn the fine restaurant that I dined at. There's something about landlocked seafood and shellfish is now that Poirot wouldn't have to spend long on this case when he gets all the shellfish into the drawing room at the end of the episode and says, I think it was those slightly obviously frozen mussels. It's afternoon off, isn't it, for Poirot? It's early bath, matinee, ITV action movie. You know what? It'll be one of his adventures that Agatha Christie probably chooses to not actually write down. Do you mean it'll be one of the very few that her editors would have been able to say, you know what Agatha, I think, I think we can

pass on this one. Yeah. I think you're passing this one. Because obviously she only wrote down about what probably five or 6% of all the adventures that the power had. Didn't she? Because a lot of them were just quite straightforward. And didn't write down his misadventures as well, obviously, and his sort of day-to-day life. Didn't dwell too much on the domestic life of Poirot. That's what happens when you're a diminutive and slightly mysterious Belgian detective, isn't it? Yeah.

A lot of it's just part of the course stuff, doesn't it all? A lot of paperwork. A lot of paperwork. Especially dealing with the fact that it's not clear who you work for so well that's what I was about to ask is he does he work for the Met does he work for the Belgian police what he said private detective come on Lance I do think he's he really paid who's actually paying him is he really getting paid is there a system hey is he a private detective was he just like a mysterious person that solves things a bit he's always just on a train and solve something he's not getting paid

for any of this work the fact fact is, he's probably having to just work in an office or something, isn't he, to support his detective work. Oh, definitely. Yeah, because you don't, in none of the stories you ever hear about the handing over of the, of the Dosh. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but also, he's, but Mike, he's on the Orient Express. Yeah, yeah. He's on it anyway. Do you mean, and then someone gets murdered. Oh, he's got money, he's got money coming in. Yeah. So he's got a decent he'll be like, it'll be,

you know, regional manager of a sort of, you know, of a well known supermarket brand, for example, is that level is that level at least he's probably pulling in a lot of night shifts, that kind of stuff. It's working a lot of weekends. I mean, he hasn't got he hasn't got dependence or weekends, you know, he could bump up, Yes, he can put that over time. That's sweet. Over time in Connie. But also take like taking a long view of all of these murders. What's the one thing that connects them all? Poirot was there. And then he makes it very, you know, makes quite a meal of trying to pin on someone else. He's actually the world's most perverted and sick serial killer.

I think probably yes. Yeah. He's probably not even Belgian, is he? No, he's not Belgian. Yeah, he's probably from Coventry. He just likes to frame him. He's just another sick Midland serial killer. What was it, Benny? You could basically say, marry me to anyone right now and they would marry me marry me and I will in robe you Belgian chocolate. Ben, the other thing is weirdly when you're you actually look like I really like really good I think because when we came on the zoom before I knew you were you're real I thought Ben's looking you just look quite cool because you've got a little

bit of stubble, a really good amount. Yeah. A George Michael amount. Perf, perfect. Very hard to get that right. Perfectly judged. National treasure and sexy. You couldn't get that right in your right mind.

To be slightly sort of foggy with, with rancid seafood. You've got a slight sheen on you, like a nice amount of sheen. Oh, I'm glossy. Which looks healthy, although of course that is unhealthy sheen, isn't it, Mike? Because the body is trying to cool itself down. Is that right? It's death sweats is what it is. It's trying to physically extrude a toxic muscle out of his face is what's happening.

Through bouillabaisseing it from the inside. It's trying to recook it. And hoping that the steam will puncture, there'll be a sort of puncture hole through which the muscle can finally escape from his forehead or cheek or anywhere really at the moment. So if you were to puncture Ben's skin right now, Ben if you were to bleed right now, you would basically bleed really, really great buio-bes. Yeah, yeah. Isn't it?

It would be somewhere between a buio-bes and a gumbo, but it would be like... Oh, it would be well seasoned, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, might well be at the gumbo and the things. Well seasoned. Jumbaleo! Because when you think about it, when you think about it, the internal organs, I mean, or certainly blood, it basically is soup, isn't it? It's a meat-based protein-rich salty liquid.

It's soup. It's a sort of stock. And what is also useful is because of Ben's sort of currently soaring temperatures, that is his natural groinal sourdoughs will be mixing with the yeast and creating a lovely fresh fresh loaf as we speak. That's right to accompany the soup. Exactly. Isn't it?

Exactly. A lovely bit of dip to accompany the soup. Yeah. Lovely bit of dipping. And of course my ass croutons. Well, you're on. Then you're on croutons, which most of the year are an inconvenience now suddenly make sense, don't they? Because they do add a nice little bit of extra crunch.

Whereas when you're normally going about your daily business, this is almost a bit too much crunch. I'm sitting down, it's making a crunching sound. It's quite painful. But the amount of soup that's seeping out of you, some of it gets absorbed into the crouton, doesn't it? The crouton becomes bloated and soggy. And it just adds to the overallouton doesn't it the crouton becomes bloated and soggy and it just adds to the overall experience doesn't it absolutely yeah are you making sure

that you sprinkle some chives on your lumbar area because i think you need to do that every couple of hours probably for freshness yeah I think you need to do that every couple of hours probably. For freshness, yeah. For freshness. Anyway, so that's my state of health. How are your states of health? That's my question for you. I'm in fine fettle, thanks.

I re-listened Mike to a bit of our episode where you were taking Auromorph. Because I think one of our Patreon subscribers had written a comment saying, oh, I sort of work in this area of healthcare and Mike was off his tit. I could tell. Well she could tell that he was off his tit. Yeah. And then I listened back and actually there is a little bit of sort of slurry. Oh really?

Mike's running a little slower than normal, I think, basically. Okay. So it's not an improvement. That's probably good. I wouldn't want to be told, do you know what really suits you actually is morphine. I'm happier off it. Yeah, there's a kind of slowness. It was quite nice. It was sort of fun. It was sort of like it did it rounded off your hard edges a bit, didn't it? You couldn't see this in the listeners wouldn't be able to see this but you might he might was gurning quite quite a lot wasn't he he was basically off his face we had to cut out all the bits where he was Kevin settings I've got great business an idea we'll set up a bar but a mobile bar but like an aqua bar but which goes like an amphibious bar as classic's classic opiate behavior, isn't it? Famously.

Yeah, I was trying to channel what I think opiate behavior is. I don't think it's that. I think it's, oh, sadly we're having to foreclose on the aqua bar because I've sort of let it slip I think. Because the owner has been in an opium den for a month and hasn't been seen. Okay, so it's a downer rather than an upper. It's languid. So Mike was more languid than usual, was he?

I think Mike was a little bit more languid. He was a bit more languid, wasn't he? Because Mike's natural energy is aggressive geography teacher. Get on the bus! Get on the bus! That hasn't heard about the rules about corporal punishment. Some hasn't got through to him. We have to be in Titchfield Pencil Museum in 25 minutes to meet the curator.

Rainsworth! Are you drinking the inside of a compass again, Reigns? That's Mike's natural energy. He's a geography teacher who's organising a school trip which has gone slightly wrong. From the get-go, from even before the get-go. From the pre-get-go. Yeah, the minibus driver is dead on arrival. It's not clear whether or not he was involved, but he will almost certainly was involved. He gets so stressed. He's he's shouting into his own gloves on the bus.

Loves it. It's inflating. We're just sheer boiling rage. It was a trick. He was taught by his mother years ago. It's the only thing that works. You just shout it into her, into her, ideally an alpaca lined glove. And that's not alpaca fur, that's alpaca meat. And these kids, they've got no bloody respect, Rainsworth.

But yeah, so that's Mike's natural energy, isn't it? That's your default, that's your sort of resting face. You don't need your inhaler Rainsworth, the fresh air will do you good. Yeah, right, that kind of, yeah. But where does this animosity towards Rainsworth come from? I think I know. Oh yeah, what's the issue? I think it's back in 1975 he was turned down by Mrs Rainsworth. So that's one of the things he's shouting into the glove isn't it? It's Rainsworth, you should have been my son!

You should have been my son, Rainsworth! Yeah, that's the actual issue with Rainsworth. Yeah, Rainsworth's mum, he took her on a date, didn't he? Tallulah Rainsworth. rains were. Yeah, Rainsworth's mom. He took on a date didn't he? Tallulah Rainsworth. He took Tallulah Rainsworth. Oh, Tallulah. To watch offshore drift in action. On the coast of Norfolk, didn't he? Yeah. It turns out the offshore

drift really is a slow boil in terms of it. It's just when you when you're standing in front of it, it's really hard to really appreciate it. I mean, it's much more of a it's not your classic aphrodisiac is it as it turns out, he then suggested they go skinny dipping in an oxbow lake. He jumped in and she drove off his car. Yes, that took it took off Mike's anger, druggity, teacher energy, and it's softened him down to kind of part time woodwind master.

Okay, paripatetic oboe teacher. Yeah, he's only in school on Thursday and Friday afternoons. Yeah. He wears a kerchief around his neck. It was always it was always between him and Gavin whipsnade to get the first desk at the Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra. Gavin got it. He shouldn't have got it. Everyone knows that. And he's just had to live with that disappointment ever since.

And not only did Whipsnade pick Peter the Post in terms of that, but he also had enough time in his spare time to start a successful zoo. And that has always rankled because the master was actually a second was actually probably a true passion actually even more than a boat wasn't it. However the power of aesthetic nature of the Oboe teaching does mean that he can spend every Tuesday afternoon round at Mrs. Rainsworth's. Which is why he's a bit more chilled out than the geography teacher. She's having private oboe lessons. Oh yes.

And the rest. I'm talking about the kind of oboe that you can't deconstruct into three pieces and put in a special case unless you're very ill. Yeah, you mean one of those Victorian ones that's made of a single piece of wood. Yeah, exactly. Let's turn on the beat machine. You betcha. Let's do it. Okay, this week's topic as sent in by Annie from Cork City. Oh, thank you, Annie from Cork.

Oh, lovely. I've been to Cork, very nice place. Likewise. I've never been to Cork, but I would like to go to Cork. It's very nice, yeah. What were you doing in Cork City. Oh, thank you, Annie from Cork. Oh, lovely. I've been to Cork. Very nice place. Likewise. I've never been to Cork, but I would like to go to Cork. It's very nice. Yeah. What were you doing in Cork, Henry? I think I went on holiday to Cork. Hmm.

And just enjoyed the local sights and so on. I'm a person who is in the act of, you know, realizing he may not have been to talk. That's what's happening. And this is happening live. Because I can see you, how ugly googling and Wikipedia ring by those things. Yeah, because in the old days, in the old days, I'd have been thumbing my way through an encyclopedia because in the old days, in the old days, I'd have been thumbing my way through an encyclopedia.

Because in the old days, I'd be right. I'd be having to write to a relative right now to ask them if they if they if they ever remember me having gone to court. Whichever relative you've superimposed into your already probably shonky memory. Yeah, exactly. But then the question is, is that an actual relative or are they just a work of fiction themselves? Right?

Is Uncle Bumble real? Because he's always on holiday with you. I'm pretty sure the Bumble-tons, his three weasel sidekicks are real. I mean, I think the whole extended bumble verse is mainly real. As is the steam-powered paraglider they move around in. Exactly. And I mean, Professor Plimpington, I mean a lot of his inventions do seem a bit madcap, but at the same time he is a professor. He's Professor Plimpington. If he was a real scientist, would he let all those weasels into his lab? Sounds like you

haven't been to Cork. I think it sounds like I have been to Cork, doesn't it? So luckily we don't live in those days whenever I would have had to have written to all my relatives. So you're trying to see if you're on Google Street? It's worth the track of the dice. No, I tell you what, I'm looking at Corktown Centre now on Google Maps and they blur all the faces. So I know I've never worn a red t-shirt, so I'm not that guy. But hang on, wouldn't they, it would show your pith helmet wouldn't it? You'd never leave, you'd never go on holiday without

your pith helmet. That's true. I'm not seeing a pith helmet. There's a guy wearing a military sort of a camouflage top, that's not me. Yeah I told you I'd been there. Yeah yeah yeah. Is there a man obviously shouting, Reinsworth? So Annie's topic that she sent all the way from Cork cities is monuments. Ooh. What is there in Cardiff? I've not really thought about it. Um, I've got various things. I think like most places, we've probably got a fair few monuments

to some not great people. I don't know. There's, I mean, there's a lot of that going about generally. There's a lot of that going on. Yeah. Or not necessarily bad people, but you sort of look around the city centre and there's lots of monuments to kind of just Victorian industrialists and stuff. Who built a lot of it and also had a statue made.

This is true. It's the guys with the, it's Victorian industrialists and in exit, all I can think of, we've got Sir Redvers Bulver. He sounds like an absolute mega bastard. What did he do? He's a strider horse. He's very clearly military. He's one of your Burr War types, Anglo-Zulu War.

He's one of your Imperial, like celebrating in his day, presumably. I don't know, I have to assume he would have done some pretty awful things to people in far flung places. But there's not, I need to look that up because there's certainly not, he hasn't had, I don't know what the, because obviously there's lots of people trying to change monuments and things these days. I've not heard anything about, I don't know if just in exit people can't be asked to think about changing it. Is it one of those ones where when they're on a horse you can tell how they died by the way the horse is or something? So it's like, if the horse's leg

is in the air, it means they died in battle I think. If both ones are up, they died from the shits, I think. And if all four are up, you're dealing with one of the best sculptors I've ever heard of. That is solid. If the horse is trampling on the head of the person, then they were killed by a trampling horse? If they sat astride the horse backwards, there's been a sort of comical accident involved. They've probably been squashed. If the horse is on top of the man, then they were crushed by paperwork.

Well, then it's really a monument to the horse, isn't it? It's funny. I think it's quite funny. Isn't it the way the horse is so often in the monument is part of it, because that'd be the be the equivalent of for example if someone was to build a Ben Partridge monument. I'd have a Brompton. Well no, you'd be in a Honda Civic presumably wouldn't you? A Honda i10. Sorry, sorry, you'd be in a Honda i10.

Sorry. Because obviously they've got a separate sponsorship deal with Honda Civic. Honda Civic. True. Fast true, fast, safe and in three different colours. Beige, deep beige and silver beige. Future beige and future beige. So Ben, because that would be the equivalent wouldn't it? Because essentially you're on your mode of transport. And it'd be like Ben,, if the right hand door of your high end eye was open, it would mean Mike had murdered you, if the boot was open it would mean me and Mike had murdered you.

Different ways of how you died would be similar. If you're checking the oil dipstick, that means that you've died in very, very shady, lascivious circumstances. If the glove box is open, I choked on a travel suite. But there's also the unfortunate thing whether the mode of transport is bigger than the Dedica T, right? Yeah, the horse is the biggest thing. Which is, I mean, it would be anathema to Hollywood, right?

That'd be like, that's like Tom Cruise having his name in a smaller font. Yes. Then Havers, for example. What if they're both in a film together? Yeah. How that would be good. Havers. Havers. Havers. Havers. Sleek glossy hair. Supple yet firm musculature. Take me to the Louvre. Slender biceps. Pure thoroughbred. Nigel Havers Hey, equine tail shins of alabaster top and monogrammed luggage and the next strength of a hyena. He's a luxury prince. So you mean the horse? The horse pops.

The horse does pop and the horse is with the best winner in the world. It's just a sexy cow. It's always, no matter how sexy you make the man look, the horse is always going to look sleeker and more willowy and muscular and grander. It's inevitable. Even if you put a special helmet on the bloke. We've also got some decent ones. We've got a Nye Bevan in the main shopping street. For international listeners, that's the founder of the NHS. And he's on the back of a horse and he's feeding it antibiotics.

And the rear two legs of the horses. They're wheels. They're wheels, aren't they? And you can see the horse's skeleton, can't you? You can, you can see that because it was x-ray, isn't it? They've got an x-ray effect on the back of the horse, which is quite fun. So you can see the skeleton stuff and they've got it that it sees a swallowed a dildo, which feels like an inappropriate joke, doesn't it? Well, you've got to have something for the mums and dads.

There always was a bawdy joke involving statues, but normally they were behind the opaque copper of the horse's body. Well that's right. Well deep into the actual brass innards. That's just the British way. And you have to consider that before the foundation of the NHS, if your horse had swallowed a dildo, there's very little you could do about it. Whereas now you can ride it into A&E and they'll sort it out.

I was in Naples once and there's a big square there, Piazza del Blebisidio, and there's loads of monuments and statues around there. And there was one statue of some guy, similar era, and he's clothed, but you can see through his trousers that he's got an absolute swinger. Really? Oh God. I'm pretty sure it was a statue of him. I think we looked up a time, it was someone who was alive at the time and the suggestion was that he'd said, you need to give that, you need to enhance that bit there.

Enhance. Enhance. More brass. More brass. Get smelting. And that's not easy to do is it? You've got to attach molten brass with, I mean you need to at least be doubling up on your oven gloves when you're just like hugging that one don't you? Yeah, kind of beneath it, the breeches. Yeah, exactly. The thing that I think makes me the most stressed when I imagine what it would have been like being a Renaissance sculptor is the fact that because you're working in negative

space aren't you because every sculpture every statue starts off as a big block of a marble and you're chipping away you're essentially you're discovering the statue which is already within the block aren't you because you're removing its negative space you're removing what isn't the statue which is already within the block. Aren't you? Because you're removing, it's negative space. You're removing what isn't the statue. Yeah. Now, so to make something bigger, that is an absolute nightmare bit of feedback to get, which is really like it.

Can you just make my dong bigger? Thanks. So what do you do? You're the artist. I mean, do you then add, do you stick a bit on it or do you make everything else smaller? In which case everything else is 5% smaller. He's next to lots of other men. He then looks like a tiny man with a huge whack. Yeah.

He's just a swinger. He's basically just, he becomes sort of like a sort of Norse, like a sort of Loki. Sort of mantelpiece artifact. Essentially that and eventually you're just an earring. You're just an obscene earring. The skill of sculpting is great. What's great with statues, and there's a statue, I can't remember where it is now, but I say I think it might be somewhere in Italy where it's Jesus. It's sort of dead Jesus lying down, I think it's Jesus, with a drape over his body.

That's where sculpting starts to kick big, big ass. It's when it's draped fabrics over legs and stuff. And there's this one sculptor where the draping is absolutely like grown men cry at the amount of folds in the draping. Because it's just like, how can he make it so drapey? There's that one isn't there by, is it Bernini? Is that his name? Could be.

And it's again, it's like a woman, it might be the Virgin Mary. It's quite sexy though. And she's wearing a very thin sheet over her body. Of sort of veil. A sort of veil, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where it's. And people thin sheet over her body. Of sort of veil. Of sort of veil, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where it's... And people go absolutely bananas for it, but you're right. It kind of is the one, it's the one trick that sculptors can pull to be like...

So if you complete marble... Yeah, exactly. You are a master. Is that the idea? But also the other thing you can do is you can have someone's hand on their body and their thumb slightly sort of pokes into the side of their butt cheek. And there's a bit of a sort of creates a kind of dimple effect. In indentation. In indentation.

That's the other thing that sculptors can do where everyone goes, oh, look at that. Because it's about you're comparing a soft thing in hard medium. Yes. It's the opposite of, it's the hardest, it's the biggest leap for the medium. Yes. Isn't it? Because the medium is rock hard. The medium is literally nothing like a towel. So if you can sculpt someone with a towel on their head and make it look like they've

got a towel on their head or whatever. It's absolutely mind blowing. Or yeah, I suppose smoke would be the hardest thing to sculpt, wouldn't it? If you could sculpt smoke or sort of mist. Or spritz. Or spritz. The other thing that they're really going for is like a sort of eight pack sort of hot bod on those kind of old statues, you know what I mean?

That's what you like to see, you're saying? No, I'm just saying that's what they went for. That's what they went for. They just like really like, everyone's built. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they're taught in sinewy. I think there's a lot of you know, it's a bit like when you buy trousers, you know, you know what, I'm gonna be able to get into these trousers in three months time. No question. The body that I have and have been walking around and for years,

and years. That's not my actual body. My body is the body I'm gonna have in two or three months. I'm gonna have it. It's just, it's just in quite a decent rain proof case. At the moment that's all it is. And I think I bet that's the attitude with sculpting is like you know what this this body that I've got isn't just sculpt my body in three months I'm gonna have an incredible six pack can you sculpt that? Because Jesus is always pretty ripped isn't he in those.

Yeah that's true incredibly everyone's ripped. is everyone's to be a bit more ripped. Maybe that's the secret. Instead of the beefcake journey, Henry, maybe we just sort of cut losses and commission someone to sculpt a three being the three of us. Yeah. So it's coiled amongst each other and a sort of, you know, Greco style wrestle. Absolutely hench. That's good.

But with a towel on top. But with a towel. With one single fight fighting over a towel. And then make the whole thing a fountain. I think so. Yeah. Then you finally got something which could actually be on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square and actually make the country happy. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. Bring the nation together. That's a sort of rolling monument story isn't it? That's good yeah. Well yeah explain that to the listeners because it might be that we've got some internationals who aren't familiar with that. Or some thick listeners.

Sure actually. So the fourth plinth so Trafalgar Square is a square in London which is located on the exact place of Trafalgar Square. I'm going to take over. So there are four plinths in Trafalgar Square, one is there at the top and they commissioned different artists to fill it. Thank you. Well, a little bit more detail. So the Battle of Trafalgar took place when Napoleon and his troops got almost to the steps of the National Gallery. That's how far they got into Britain. And they were going to take the cafe once they've taken the cafe. Once they've taken the cafe and the gift shop.

But what they weren't expecting was Lord Admiral Nelson to appear on a 200 foot pogo stick. Drop directly onto Napoleon's head. Landing right in the middle of Trafalgar Square. The four lions have been working for the British government. Keeping the pigeons away. They were so shocked by the whole thing they immediately ossified didn't they? And they're still in the same positions they were in. And the amazing thing is the gift shop and cafe carried on working throughout this entire battle didn't they? And they're still in the same positions they were in. And the amazing thing is the gift shop and cafe carried on working throughout this entire battle, didn't they? That's the British spirit. That's the British spirit. You keep coming because someone might

want a hot cheese panini and someone might want a Bakewell tart. And also the dream which that gift shop has had for years is that somebody one day someone will actually buy an 85 pound book about van Gogh. No one's here. They're still waiting. At some point someone's going to spend 85 pounds on those books. So yeah, so there's four plinths around Trafalgar Square. The empty one was meant to have something on it, but they didn't have enough money. Or I don't know.

What's the deal? What are the other three as well? They're all military success aren't they? Maybe where the thick ones actually now I think of it. That's always disappointing. It's um, one of them is his Havers isn't it? It's his Nigel Havers sat on a horse. It's the three parts of Havers. It's the three parts of Havers. The Haver segments. It's the stations of the Havers. It's a bit like the stations of the Cross isn't it? It's the three parts of Havers. It's the three parts of Havers. The three, the segment of Havers segments. It's the stations of the Havers. It's a bit like the stations of the Cross, isn't it? It's different stages of Havers' career you often get in churches.

So there's him, there's him being brought up and suckled by wolves is the first one. Then it's him meeting Derek Jacobi. Yeah. And then it's him being launched into space to populate Mars. Yeah. Single-handedly. The future Ha handed. The future the future havers. That's future havers. Yeah. So the third print is so they opened up to the public, didn't

they? And there was different, there was two different ones. There was one. What's what's it been? There was one where there's a giant thumbs up. I think we can, can we just say that that's crap? Can we say that? I didn't love it myself. I think that there's one where it's like a big ice cream with a fly on it or something. I thought maybe a bit not great. There was one where it was a giant pigeon which I thought was, or was that an idea for

it or did that actually happen? Because people were pitching ideas for it and there was an idea of making a giant pigeon which I think is quite fun. Quite fun. There was one, there was one thing, wasn't there, where people, members of the public could apply and you just got 10 minutes up there to do whatever you wanted. That was the best bit. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. No, I missed it. And you could watch it on a webcam. Oh, just people doing mad stuff. Well, it was flasher, flasher, flasher, flasher, flasher, flasher, someone with a political cause, flasher, flasher, flasher, flasher. Genuine artist doing a piece about wearing a raincoat and opening, I know it's a flasher, sorry it's a flasher. Yeah, they had to reel it in, didn't they?

One of the things about monuments in London is that they tend to be in quite grand places. Like you've got the nice areas like Trafalgar square, et cetera, kind of pantheon kind of idea where these people have enraided. Whereas in Cardiff, like, uh, we've got a statue that was built in the eighties of Gareth Edwards, who's a probably our greatest ever rugby player, maybe one of the world's best ever rugby players. And the statue is nice, but fundamentally it's outside Primark. Oh. In a kind of big high street area, is it? Or is it like in a pedestrianized zone?

I think basically they were so excited in 1982 when they built it, that they put it in the new indoor shopping center. Oh, indoors. Yeah. And so I guess they thought like, this is the future, like this is exciting, but now it's just a kind of- They also would have thought that frozen yogurt was going to be bigger than ice cream, which is why they've got that frozen yogurt dispenser, haven't they? On his left nipple. That's right.

And the other one's Angel Delight. That's the trouble though, isn't it, with monuments, is that the monument remains, but society changes. Hi, welcome to Radio 4. With me, Henry Packard. You're watching panorama It's a pretty profound point you just made that Henry pretty crap point profound

It's coming hard they can't getting like a 45 minute panorama out of it I'm enough. How long is panorama? This is gonna be a real stretch for us Yeah, and they like it can be a couple of hours gone. Oh god Each length no, but they're about permanence aren't they but that's why they're so symbolic and that's why like like, you know What when when dictatorships go overthrown you go straight for the statues don't we so yeah You rip them down. So it's you know, who knows in 20 or 30 years time, they may be bang mobs carrying around Gareth Edwards' head. Normally, they are permanent. Normally people have the courage to put them

outside though. I can't think of other like monuments proper in statues that are inside. The odd busts, sure. Yeah, there's a bust of David's Orling, if there's a bust of Princess Diana's head. Is there? Can I say, I know this from an artist's point of view, busts were blatantly invented by someone that wasn't very good at arms. Torsoes. Torsoes.

Belly buttons. Belly buttons and legs. Is it possible that busts came from someone being made to statue of themselves going, is there any chance you can make the, the wang a bit bigger? And they went, as you, as you explained Henry, it's quite hard as a sculptor to put more on. Yeah. And then you'd reduce it down a bit and you'd be like, actually, you know what? Can you make it a little bit bigger than that? And you'd have to reduce it all down more. And you're like, you know what? I'm just going to be a neck. That's what you're going to be, a head and a neck. All right? I'm done with it. I'll take my Florins and I'll leave. You're not going to be giving me Florins.

That's just what future generations will have to assume you looked like, okay? Just a head and a neck. And what we can put a note which was, Dong so big, unsculptable. How about that? I can etch that in Latin on the back. It'll be in the blurb. It'll be in the blurb. Dong deemed unsculptably large. In Latin, alright. Sorry, we ran out of bronze.

With the word bronze around, aren't we quite game-ly? I mean, are statues made of bronze? Sometimes. Yeah, I think Red Vizbulver is made of bronze. So that's using a caste system, isn't it? So what he'd have done is he'd have had to have a hot I think what works is he'd have had to have hollowed out so Redford's ball that's made a hole in the top of his head filled him up with molten metal and split him open and split it. And just reuse the bits for sort of pate or something?

For a Bulvers pate, yeah. For a Bulvers. That's why I eat Bulvers pate. I think that's the only way you can make, because that's using, because basically there's two ways of sculpting, right? There's you chip away at a marble block it's outside in or inside out basically it's outside in or inside out so if you're chipping at a marble block that's inside out or outside in that'd be outside in that that's out there

then as you say that's like what's the sculpture within the jade within the marble right surely the stone is getting some choice and it might turn out you're doing a statue of Red Viz Bulver out of Jade and the Jade Red Viz Bulver looks like a proper wrong-un, do you know what I mean? He might look like a tosser. Well exactly. And also there's infinite, that's one thing that's so difficult about this sculptor, is there's literally infinite different Red Viz Bulvers within that, including one where he looks exactly like Sonic the Hedgehog, for example. But just with Red Ves Bulva's is that that's when the marble told you when to stop. That's when it told you when to stop.

Yeah. Okay. So the different methods are negative space. That means you take a block, a block of marble, for example, and you excavate away the stuff, which isn't Red Ves Bulva. Yeah. The other way of doing it is cast is using casts. Right.

It's a bronze. So in that situation, to make the cast, you still have to remove the outside of Red Vs. Bulba. Yep. To make the cast itself where you're starting from a position of having Sir Red Ves Bulva and you're trying to find the negative space within Sir Red Ves Bulva. There isn't Sir Red Ves Bulva, keeping a very thin amount of Sir Red Ves Bulva around the outside.

Can you not encase Sir Red Ves Bulva? Well, that's the Pompeii method. That's what literally happened. Right. At the battle of Pompeii. When a volcano defeated the town of Pompeii. General Vesuvius. Yeah. Cause isn't, cause Pompeii is people were milling about, they got encased in. That's right.

They got encased in. In rich chocolate. Creamiest of Italian. Dark chocolate rich chocolate. Cremiest of Italian dark chocolate lava chocolate. Their bodies then dissolve through time, tend into powder and dust, etc. leaving a negative shape of themselves within the block of magma. So that then had, um, well, a mixture. It could be hot nougat. It could be, it could be caramel, different things you can

pour in, then you chip away the magma and you've got a delicious caramel Pompei resident caramel in his death throes. A delicious stricken fishmonger. A delicious stricken fishmonger, exactly. Now, Scotch egg addition. Well that's really hard, because then you've got to fire meat down the hole and drop boiled eggs in there and then fire more meat down. Perfect time.

Yeah, yeah. So hard to do. Can I just interject just to get ahead of abolishing? He's not called Redver's Bulver. He's called Sir Redver's Buller. Buller? Oh God, no one will have any idea who we were talking about, will they? Bloody hell. So the other way of doing things is what Sir

Anthony Gormley does. That's the other way of creating sculptures, which is he literally gets you to sit on a chair and swallow your own weight in wet clay. He does a thing where he encases you in clay and he gives you a snorkel so you can live. So you sit on a chair, he encases you in clay, you breathe through a snorkel, the clay then dries up and then you're trapped in your own trap. And then he puts you on top of the shell building. Then he puts you on top of the shell building, picks up a cool three million quid and you just sit there bored shitless till you die. Occasionally funnels some super noodles down the snorkel.

Which is why, if Sir Anthony Cormley is going to make you a portrait in sculpture, make sure you tick the anal funnel box. You're going to need an anal funnel. It costs him a bit more so he doesn't tell you about it, but tick it for the love of God. Otherwise those supernoodles just build up and build up inside you, don't they? You need two spouts. We should finish off this section about monuments with a quote. Yes please. From historian Richard Holmes. Oh yeah.

About Redvers Buller. Oh yeah, nice nice nice, let's have it. He was an admirable captain, an adequate major, a barely satisfactory colonel, and a disastrous general. A barely satisfactory Colonel. Okay. And a disastrous General. Oh wow, so he kept like, he did, the Peter Principle kept on going and going and going with Redvers, didn't it? Yeah, he sounds like he was getting promoted outside of his expertise. Yeah. Well, we venerate him in Exeter to this day. He's just outside the college, so the young generation can have someone to aspire to.

Thank you, Redfers. Thanks, Redfers. Time to read your emails. Yes, please. Our email address is 3beansaladpod.gmail.com. Now, it's time for a listener bollocking of the week. We've not had one this series yet. Accessing listener bollocking of the

week. We've not had one this series yet. Accessing listener bollocking. Bollocking loading. Listener bollocking of the week. Bollocking loaded. It's for Mike. Oh dear. Now, we've had a number of these, as is often the way with the Bollockings.

This is from Elsa. Hello Elsa. Who's an A&E nurse from Stoke. Aha. Okay. Hello. In the latest episode, Mike states that the difference between heroin and morphine is that heroin is an illegal drug.

It is true that heroin is often sold illegally by street tufts, but so is morphine. Heroin is still used in hospitals in the UK, but mainly for children where it is sprayed up their nose. Although we do call it diamorphine to not scare the parents. Sincerely, Elsa. Oh, fair play. Thank you, Elsa. Yes, fair play. I do apologise. Bollocking fully accepted. Bollocking accepted.

And then a different angle on this. James says, contrary to Mike's assertion, morphine and heroin are exactly as illegal as each other. On the street. Yes, I might as well take that one as well. For good measure, why not? Bollocking accepted. He also says, if you know anyone who's had a caesarean section in the UK, it's quite likely they've had heroin injected into their spine. Make of that what you will, best James. Lovely stuff.

That'll include my mum. Great. And then after I was born, my mum actually said to me, actually, now that I've had a look at that little bastard, can I have some more heroin to get me through the next 25 years? Cheers. I will fully accept those bollikings. I plead a little bit of brain addlement and yes, you were yourself. Yeah, so yeah, so I apologize, but they're all quite right. Absolutely pathetic display there from Mike. My attitude to bollocking is like Pablo Escobar

when he was surrounded by the CIA, which is just go down fighting. That's not why. You get on the nearest roof. I get on the nearest roof. And wait for a hail of bullets. Yeah. In which case do you want your own bollocking, Henry? Okay then.

Yeah. Let's show you how it's done. Okay, so in our episode about the Netherlands, Ben discussed the province of Friesland, which is where Friesian cows come from. Please see the following transcription of the interaction with Henry. Ben, Friesland, where Friesians are from? Henry, oh, Friesian cows! Ah, from Holland? Ben, yes.

Normally I would let this go, but literally one minute previous Ben was discussing how Holland is incorrectly used to refer to the Netherlands. Picking Friesland as a province that's a part of the Netherlands but explicitly not Holland. Who's being bollocks? And what's going on? I feel like Ben's being bollocks, but I think Ben was just getting tongue, it's a moment of misspeaking rather than a genuine error I think but I think also Henry's being bollocked right because I was talking about freesland and he said are from Holland I see right is this woman is this person saying we're not allowed to say Holland Holland is itself a misnomer

No, you're allowed to describe Holland as Holland because well people have said Holland before and they'll say Holland again And I'm just someone that in a way is the custodian of the word Holland, like we all are, as we're saying it, we're just marshalling it for the next person to say Holland. Do you know what I mean? It's a process. I think they're asking that we only use Holland to describe Holland, whereas you at the moment are using Holland to describe anything and everything. Okay. So when I next meet up with a friend of mine in a cafe in Holland Park, I have to say to him, sorry, I'm on the Euro star. I'm going to be over 24 hours late because

I'm not allowed to say Holland Park and only go to a park in Holland. If I want to say I've been to Holland Park. So just to keep one listener satisfied to three beans salad, I've had to go to Holland, pick up a clod of earth from a park in Holland Take it back to our rendezvous in rendezvous And what I'm now just relabeling generic West London Park Spread the clod of genuine Holland Park onto the pavement will both stand on it by that point You'll be fucked off. I'll be fucked off and We'll probably have a shit time. So thanks very much

Yeah, well, yeah, so you thanks very much. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, so you understand. So I understand. Yeah, that's from Tom. Thanks Tom. I feel like Henry's sort of roundly reflectobolic there. Oh, yeah. I must remember to get some vitamins later on at Generic Name and Barrett.

Here's an ice cream, Alfandry. This is from Gordy in Boston. Hello beans, I am in need of Henry's advice. That's more like it. Very rare. I don't know if I've ever heard those words. This person must be an absolute pickle to end all pickles. My partner and I just adopted a British short hair kitten. Oh, lovely moment. And we're very excited about it. However, we live in America, so our kitten will be

somewhat removed from the Royal duties, ball season and the combat training that he will require. How should we go about raising a British Shorthair in the US? How often do we need to travel to the UK for the aforementioned duties? Any help is appreciated. Love the podcast Gordie from Boston. PS, his name is Nightmare. Quite cool. Well, the main thing is just congratulations on getting, just having the best possible cat into your lives. To be honest, I mean, they just need to take their lead from Nightmare because Nightmare's going to be bossing things around there. Nightmare's calling the shots from now on.

Nightmares. They're just the most absolutely bullish. They're just like little if you imagine a bull imagine an angry Spanish bull and just shrink it down. That's what you're dealing with. I've shared a photograph with you too. He has a confidence. He exudes a confidence, I would say. But actually you can see he's

longing for his homeland, can't you, in his eyes? They don't actually need to worry about the training because it's in the provinces, it will regard itself as being in the provinces, it will immediately be given Lieutenant Governor status. Yes. And I apologise because I know you've done pretty well since 1776, but I'm afraid Lieutenant Governor Nightmare will now be reinstituting direct rule from London. That's right. It'll start with just tax collecting, won't it? Yeah, initially. Initially there'll be tithes. Added to things you can pour as much tea into the sea as you like it doesn't make a jostle difference.

Yes he'll see himself as being sort of governor when he has a territorial outpost initially. Oh and as we speak there'll be a flotilla of British shorthouse on their way by sea, of course, to the Americas as we speak. Straight into Boston harbour. And it's basically the most, it's the cutest and most deadly army you've ever seen. That's why it's so confusing and that's why they can be overrun by British shorthairs. Almost willingly, because that's why they can rampage so fast across towns and cities got walls and walls because people invite them in essentially you bend down to give it a little pet up your little pet on the hat on that on that on that because they'll

be they'll be they'll be hatted weren't they because they were they were do wear bear skins they got very strong necks very very strong next little bearskin hats make them even cuter than usual you bend down to give it a little stroke. It accepts the stroke, enjoys the stroke and then it's machete up your ass. And you are cooked. Yeah, you're over. So your message to our listeners is to submit. Yes, I think so. Get yourself, if you can get yourself because look short submit collaborate get yourself a bureaucratic role within the system so it might be for example supplying wet meat it might be

keeping wet meat cold might be keeping wet meat warm it might be distributing wet meat packets yeah if you can get your family clearing out litter trays they are safe do you understand you're basically safe and also look British warheads they that they They rule, you know, they they're not gonna kill everyone. I'm gonna say that now. Yeah, so so, you know a lot It's mainly about it's about submission Humiliation and And sort of back rubs, isn't it? That's what they're gonna be. That's what they're gonna be looking for So get yourself in you don't want to be on the wrong side of the, of the iron pole, Gordie put it that

way. Okay. So yeah, I would invest in actually make probably making, I'd start looking into you might be using a three, three D printer, but basically making a little, a little Admiral's outfit for, for nightmare to wear. So it needs, it needs armholes at the front, leg holes at the back. Doesn't it? It'll need a small ceremonial saber, please. Yeah. And also a real one. I think we probably have a real Anna ceremonial. And commission that statue to get Nightmare on horseback in bronze.

Get that done ASAP. And that's a miniature horse, isn't it? A look absolutely absurd on a full size horse. So miniature horse. Or seahorse. Miniature horse or seahorse. Yeah. Just something for us to discuss.

We talked a couple of weeks ago about rat anecdotes, rat-ic-dotes. I thought we could have a section called Rat Watch. Well, I think Ben's going gonna see that and raise you. We've had so many ratty, like genuinely this is the thing we've had the most emails about. Well they are everywhere, famously. All of the stories are pretty disgusting. So I'm kind of aware that if we spend too long talking about rat stories, we could drive away a good portion of our listenership who just don't want to listen to rat stories,

which is fair enough. So why don't we consolidate all our rat stories into one special Christmas episode called Ratmas? It's the Ratmas special. It's a beautiful idea. I'm fully behind it. Does that mean an entire, an episode where all the emails are about rats and we call that Ratmas or an entire episode? It's a Ratmas special. It's an episode where all we do in the episode is read emails people have sent in about rats. It's a bonus for everybody, a bonus Ratmas or an entire episode. It's a Ratmas special. It's not all we do in the episode is read emails people have sent in about rats. It's a bonus for everybody. A bonus Ratmas special. Great idea. Maybe it'll come out on Christmas day. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Although actually we do have a normal episode coming out on Christmas day. So maybe it'll be in the kind of post-Christmas pre-New Year zone. So I guess this is me saying to the listenership, if you have got a rat story, you'd like to rat story you'd like to get into the rat special, you haven't got long so do send it along. And remember we live, the rats are the only species which are in every single country in the world has rats. Rats are, there's 50, there's 50 brats for every human. Do you say brats? No, I'm not, I had a rat summer, I don't know about you. There's 50ats for every human. Do you say brats? No, I'm not. I had a rat summer.

There's 50 rats for every human. There's rats, there's always rats that are five feet away, you're never always five feet away from rats. Your walls are building in every direction, including inwards. The walls of buildings, pipes are full of rats, air conditioning units, cavities in between walls, basements, attics, swans, absolutely almost 90% rat. And also rats are the only animal which aren't 90% water, they're like 100% rats, aren't they? A rat is a rat all the way through. Like a stick of rats.

It's a stick of rat. Why aren't we talking about them all? Yeah. So yeah, if you've got a rat story you want to include in Ratmas, we'll be recording that soon, so please get it in. And it will be optional listening. It's not the usual compulsory episode listening. It will be optional, a rare optional listen for you. Patreon.com forward slash three bean salad.

Thanks to everyone who signed up at our Patreon and supported the podcast. Patreon.com forward slash three bean salad. We appreciate it big style. Hugely. Massively. And also you get various things. You get bonus episodes, you get our film review podcasts, all sorts of stuff. There are three different tiers to sign up at if you sign up at the Sean Bean tier. You get a shout out from Mike from the Sean Bean Lounge where Mike spent last night.

Indeed. And a bit of a different kind of vibe in the Lounge this week because it was just a simple Q&A with Michael Gove, wasn't it? It was a Q&A with Michael Gove. Thank you, Benjamin. And here's my report. It was a rare one last night at the Sean Bean Lounge as a non-member was invited for a Q&A with the Bean Loungers. And that non-member was occasional journalist and former Tory politician Michael Gove, allegedly, or at least a man purporting to be so. Things got off to a sticky start when Mr Gove attempted to begin a 23-page speech, only

to be reminded by Benji that he'd been invited for a Q&A only, at which point Mr Gove was temporarily seized by Greg the Cardist, while Hayley Duffy confiscated the speech, fed it to Damian West, who was fed by Cody Coffey, into a human cannon and fired into international waters. Craig Holden then strapped Mr Gove into the Q&A elbow chair, Fonzie style, and the Q&A began. Things then got off to a sticky whatever the bit immediately after the start is when Mr Gove, who'd come ready for questions about his time as Education Secretary, Justice

Secretary and Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, found instead that every single question related to an unconfirmed rumour that Mr Gove, if ever invited to compete on celebrity mastermind, would choose for his specialist subject, coleslaw. Adrian Ratcliffe, Mevans, and Leila Bean Noodle Queen were first up with the same question. Namely, was it true Mr Gove had been given an advance of $14 million NZ to write the definitive non-fiction book about coleslaw, with the option of a fictional children's series to follow? If so, given all three of them had been trying to get their own books on the subject published for years, was he interested in a ghostwriter? Mr Gove parried the question and we moved on to questions from the Edinburgh Cridlins,

who wanted to know Mr Gove's favourite brand of coleslaw, Pete Hicks, who wanted to know the most unusual place Mr Gove had eaten coleslaw, and P Murray B, who wanted to know how many children Mr Gove had, and if any of them were named coleslaw. Mr Gove appeared to become frustrated at this line of questioning, and declared that he had once served as Chief Whip under David Cameron, don't you know. Boots attempted to calm Mr Gove with a softball question about the difference between coleslaw and sauerkraut, but to everyone's amazement, this only enraged Mr Gove with a softball question about the difference between coleslaw and sauerkraut, but to everyone's amazement this only enraged Mr Gove further, sensing our guest was on the edge. Dan Wilson, Anita Lorraine-Maine, Joe Stone and Harris Thompson performed a re-enactment of a typical mid-19th century Dutch family dinner, of which the increasing popularity of coleslaw

and its spread from its founding nation of the Netherlands as far as the Balkans would have likely been number one on the conversational agenda. If anything, this made the situation worse, as there wasn't even a question posed at the end of it. Ruth Watterson began her question with, as Education Secretary, at which point Mr. Gove's shell likes pricked up, only to be pricked down again when she finished with, is it true you attempted to make the ability to spell the word coleslaw a literacy assessment point? Kevin Nolan, Katie Keele and Matthew Hawley then hit Mr. Gove with a series of first principal questions about shredded cabbage and he became obtunded. Fraser Bissett partially revived him with some smelling coleslaw but before he was fully in control of his faculties

once more, Catherine John and Rebecca Evans, impatient for their turn, asked him to settle a years-long argument of theirs about vinegar to mayonnaise ratios and Mr. Gove hit the literal and proverbial roof. Mistaking the noise for the signal to present our guest with a token of gratitude, Joseph Kennedy and Mark McKay rolled out a commemorative vat of coleslaw from which burst Robin Yates, Glenn Fleischman and Matt Lilly IV. Dressed as finely chopped optional chives with Andrew Lloyd-Jones and Amy Edwards playing a harmonized wet Dijon mustard fanfare. Showing no signs of gratitude and ignoring the coleslaw portrait Lola had made of him during the evening, Mr

Gove left in a state of apoplexy and has been awarded free lifelong non-membership of the Sean Bean lounge. Thanks all. All right, that's the show. We'll finish off with a version of our theme tune sent in by one of you. Lovely. This is from Edgar. Thank you, Edgar. From Sheffield.

Thanks, Edgar. Thank you Edgar. From Sheffield. Thanks Edgar. He says, this is an acapella working of the main theme with my mate, Mariel East, doing a trumpet noise and giving it a bit of the old cockney knees up. Please enjoy. And why not? Right, that's the show. See you next time. Goodbye.

Thank you for listening. Cheerio. Thank you, bye!