Threedom - And Now, As Always, I Close with the Worm

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

Lauren, Paul, and Scott discuss drinking evolution, jury duty, and Heat before responding to a listener voicemail. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shopSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus here, and I can't wait for you to hear our new episode of Wiser Than Me with Cindy Lopper on Amazon Music. Cindy may be a girl who just wants to have fun, but for 40 years she has brought playfulness and a dash of punk to some serious activism. We talk about her lifelong LGBTQ plus advocacy, her astonishing music career, and pick up a whole lot of wisdom along the way. Listen now only on Amazon Music. included with Prime. Hey friends, it's Lauren here. I wanted to let you know that Mary Holland and I will be hitting the road, doing improv,

in a city near you, possibly in your city, very soon. And we are going to be hitting up Austin, Texas first. In April, on April 18th, we will be part of the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. And we will be performing at the state theater. So please get your tickets. April 18th, Austin, Texas, be there or be square. Love ya. Freedom. Now what is this song about?

It's about three. Idiots. Let me listen to you. Let me go. Let's do it. Freedom! Okay. Here's what I've gathered. It's about yelling. Okay. It's about. The enjoyment of yelling. Yes. It's about yelling. It's about yelling, the enjoyment of yelling, and how yells are made. See, I didn't get that. I just heard yelling.

You didn't get that? I didn't get that. You seriously didn't get that. Someone needs a media literacy course. Oh my God. Oh, Scott. I can't believe you went there. I went there and then I came back and I was like, I didn't like that. I'm glad to see you again. What do you have over there from Staples?

From Staples? In bulk that you needed so badly. I believe it's tape. You needed so much tape. You needed seven rolls of tape. Would you stop looking around my room? By the way, I've cleaned it all up for you. You're saying that little tower.

It's 90% done now. This is actually messier than it has been. No, it's not. You have piles of boxes. This place looks like shit. Poster's all piled up. Those aren't piles. Hold on.

Those are in a poster cart. Those are supposed to be in your closet in the cart. No, they're not. They go there now. Put them in the closet, dear. What's in the box? It's behind you. Girl Scout cookies.

I do have something over here for Paul. If he wants it. What is it? I've been doing my spring cleaning. Am I allowed to look at that part of the room? Yes, you can look at that part. If you want to go over and get it, you can. Lord, don't play the victim.

Now, you've been very aggressive about this room. Go see what's in the box. What's in the box? Yes. It is that box on the chair. I've been doing some spring cleaning. I found this and I realized that I was either going to sell it or give it to you. What is it?

It is a model. Not a model you build. It's all ready to go. It's sort of it. It's action figures, but a action figure set piece. Action deorama, if you will. It's the jaws boat. It's the jaws boat being attacked by the very jaws himself.

Turn it right. Now, those barrels are not to scale. Oh, wow. That is really good for your house. He's going for it. But you need to unbox it. What? You need to unbox it. Why?

And put it up. No, I'm going to put it up just like this. Okay. Hang it on the wall. Hang it on the wall. Yeah. Okay, great. Give it its own shelf.

It's own light. So you like it. I think you need to unbox it. No, I can't have this. You can't have it. Okay. I'm going to sell it then. You can't have it.

What's also, what's also funny is like, you'll want to play with it. too much you'll never get any work done. Yeah, exactly. But let's talk about the Jaws thing. The scale is just so crazy. How nice of you to say no? How nice of you to say no? And let me have the $20 I'll probably get for selling this. Although it is a collector's item from McFarlent toys from their monsters. Oh, just go to spawn.com. Sure, of course. And it's, I believe, probably 20 years old, if not more. I think I actually think that I bought this in the 90s. You know, there's no way. It has a website on the back.

Oh, true. Good point. Spawn.com. Oh, wait. It says spawn.com. Sorry about the dial-up noise. Oh, so maybe it isn't. Oh, okay. Yeah. Please, just go to the website. Even if it's noisy on the way.

I went when that Jimmy Kimmel video, I'm fucking Matt Damon came out. I remember I was in a Poya Loco and there was a woman on the phone behind me going, mom, mom, I know you have dial up, but it's worth it. Go find. I'm fucking Matt Damon. Damien. Oh my God. You have to see this.

It's unlike anything you've ever seen. This is made by movie maniacs four. Movie maniacs. Yes, that's what it was. I had all of the movie maniacs from Freddie to Jason to leatherface, all of them. And I had them displayed on my desk for a long time. Coolop found them very, very frightening. But this one was so large.

It was the biggest one they did, a huge just Bruce attacking a boat. and he's got Roy Shider maybe in his... No, who's in his mouth? What's the quote on the top? It's Quint, Robert Shaw. It's Quint in his mouth. The quote is what we're dealing with here as an eating machine.

Now, that's on the side of the box. When you look at it, he's not in there. I thought I said, what we're eating with here is an eating machine. What we're eating is an eating machine. What we're eating with here is an eating machine. He's going to win.

I'm eating a sandwich and he's eating us. Do you think they'll invent eating machines eventually that like... So they'd like lifts. Oh, there it is. Okay, there's Quint down there. Here's my theory about drinking. Here we go.

It's so hard. I knew we would get here. We used to go to puddles or lakes or streams. Oh, I thought that was the name of a bar. We used to go to puddles. We used to go to puddles. Hey, you want to go to that puddle? Hey, let's go to puddles.

Have a sip. Have a few quick pops of puddles. We used to cup our hands. We used to cup our hands and bring our mouths to drink. Their lips, our cracked dry lips. When we were cavemen. And then we said, you know what? We invented the cups and the glasses.

And that was fine. We would bring those to our lips. And then we said, I don't want to lift that up. Let me invent the straw. And so we invented the straw. Do you have to be here for this? And then we invented the silly straw. Can I tell you for me?

To make them crazy. Wasn't it crazy? Well, I call them silly straws. He doesn't want to be offensive. Yeah. So what's next? An eating machine? A mentally ill straw.

So what's next And eating Was you? Can I just tell you? I saw this Instagram. Because we haven't done the same for With all the We have the fork

For soup We're talking about We've done We did we did We used to cup soup in our hands But we don't have a thing That drinks for us Then a spoon

But we But we haven't gone the full Like I'm just going to leave the bowl On the ground And something brings it up Hold on a lot Hold on No

You're way off face here I'm way off base here. Frankly, I'm offended. Okay. Tell me how I'm wrong. Debate me. Change your mind? How is the silly straw advancement, first of all?

Because it's sillier and it goes up and down and twirls around. And I mean, you know. And you think that's improving upon. We perfected the straw when we made the silly straw. We, we, oh, okay. I thought you were going to say we're perfected the straw, so now we're allowed to play around with it. We've earned the right. You know, we've taken a step back with these paper straws.

I mean, these cardboard straws, these paper straws. Not only are they not silly, they're extremely. These paper straws. They're serious. We haven't invented a silly spoon that twirls around. We have. We have, really. There's one that goes into your milk bowl, again, your cereal with your milk.

Yeah. That's like a spoon that has like a, you can drink the milk at the end kind of thing. Oh, from the spoon. From the spoon? I love that. Like the frosty spoon? I don't know what that is. Well, okay, let me tell you something.

It was not the Frosty. It was the McFlurry when the McFeroy was a new thing. But that's not a straw. Common misunderstanding. Will you let me finish. This is so important. Post it. I've sucked on those so hard.

Clip that. Clip that. When I first, the first time I tried at McFlurry, I thought it was like a shake. Yeah. And I tried to drink it. Yes, of course. Through that straw. Naturally.

And nothing happened except my head caved in. But why? Oh, there's a way to happen. My fontanelle. You're the elephant man now, by the way. Why is there a hole? I'm not an animal. In the top.

Why is it hollow? Yeah, why? We wonder. Why? Because I think for stackability, maybe. I have no knowledge about this. Can I just quickly tell you something that I saw on Instagram that was, you were talking about the original cup being the hands.

And I saw a video of a woman and a man recreating. how Neanderthals sounded. One, two, three. That'll always be the real one in my mind. I know. Who cares? Hey. It's a guy and then the woman's like a voice training teacher kind of person and

she's like, so start with your neck stuck out. And he's like, wait, this is a different one or this is the one? I don't know. Is it a minute? The one, two, three. I don't know if they said one, two, three or not. You would remember if this happened. We've talked about this before.

That doesn't mean she would remember. No, it's not that. No, you're right. I wouldn't remember that. No, but she goes like, stick your neck, your head forward. I'm saying she would remember, not because we talked about it. She would remember from this video. I don't think it was the same.

I don't think it's the same. I think he just makes noises. If there's not a guy going, one, two, three. Then it's not the same video. One pill. It's that pretty spiro song. Yeah.

Yeah. So he should stick your neck out and he's like, and then she's like, lower your voice. And he's like, oh. And then she's like, make it nasal. I was like, ha. You're saying this is not the same video. It has to be.

Find the video. It has to be. Stay tuned for part two. We try it with numbers. By the way, my algorithm has changed. Congratulations. I think on a previous episode,

I told you about how I was getting just text pieces of people apologizing for their businesses doing whatever or I read some of them. I no longer get these. This is on the Instagram. Instagram. Yes. I now get racists yelling at them getting punched about 50% of the time. I don't mind that.

I just agreed to TikTok's terms and services. No, Lauren. I know, but I did find it. Is this the guy? Hold on. How to be a Neanderthal? Yeah. Well, let's play it a little bit.

Well, I can't get to it because I don't have TikTok. Oh, yeah. Neither do I. Who does? Yeah. Well, then we'll never. Well, who keeps sending his TikToks that? Oh, cool.

No. that I can't access. Oh, maybe this is it. Oh, here you go. I got it on Reddit. My male human voice counts over three. One, two, three. It's right at the big thing.

How did you not remember? It's all he said. Wait. It's all he says. It's all he said. One, two, three. Where's the lie? How did this happen?

How did this happen? It seems to pull down into the throne. Is this your first encounter with the numbers one through three? Encourn't. I forgot enough that one. One to three. Let's try. Male.

Okay. I don't even know why this is happening. I know we've talked about this, but I don't know why it's happening. I don't know why he's saying one, two, three. And I don't know why. He's not laughing because it's insane. And that's how they talk to each other? They probably, yeah, they would say one, two, three.

It's probably because they probably did one where he said, I am a Neanderthal, and then they're like, it's too long. I'm a Neanderthal. What's the point, though? Like, why do we care how they talk? Well, because it changes a lot for me if they talked like that. Like, if I think they're, because I think of them as being like, kind of like manly, masculine, kind of the male ideal, you know.

Yeah. And then when I hear that, when I hear them make those noises, I think, I'm not fucking that. Let's get that. I invented wheels. Oh, also I get a lot of people being escorted off planes. And then, and then like then hitting whoever they have the argument with as they're being escorted on. That's great. This is news today, and I don't, but I just need clarification.

Why are the TSA lines so long? Oh, because ICE is there now. Oh, it's because of ice? I mean, they're not helping. Well, I know. I just didn't know if there was a plane issue or something. Yes. Everything is, everything is fucked because they've decided to fuck everything.

So it's, it's affecting absolutely everything. It's so awful. Jane and I were just talking about this because she was just flying and she was like, I just feel like there's way more people at the airport now. Yeah. And I said, it's because people are getting fucked over on flights and things like this and, you know,

so there's like people that should have left hours ago and are stuck there. And people get there really early because they think it's going to take forever. That's also true. That's also true. That's also true. Yes.

So no flying. Good time to be going on tour. Gas prices. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely everything. Gas prices are astounding right now. Absolutely disgusting.

I'm glad I went electric. I went electric too. Yeah. We have one hybrid and one knot. We got both electrics and I couldn't be happier because I never think about gas anymore. Wow, that's great. I never even think about like while I'm driving like, uh-oh, I'm, uh, it's, it's just, man, I love it. I only was low on power a couple times.

Sim the toolman Taylor. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I still don't know why he would say that. Can anyone explain it to him? I saw an interview with him. You mean one, two, three? Yeah.

One, two, three. Why didn't he say that? No one knows. I saw an interview with him recently on a talk show that I think was like a new interview where he was talking about the original. You have something new to say? I mean, it felt like why. I discover new tool.

He's talking about the origin of the. A penis phone. Which to me would have been covered on an old interview. But it's a new interview where they're talking about this. caveman noise and he talks about how it was something he would always do at dinner with his friends or family or something god i wish i could go to dinner with him and hear him do that did you imagine how much fun i would do it if he's you'd get dinner and he'd be going to like ar-or-r-r-r-r-r-dure to infinity beyond that's the one or santa claus i think that's the one thing

that he did really well at he's really good as buzz light year as buzz light year don't you think he had he had hits up the wazoo are you kidding home improvement great show stay out of my wazoo Please. I never saw it. Please get out of his work. Of course I auditioned for the series finale. To play. Of course you did.

To play the network executive, I believe, who takes it off the air or something like that. Something like that. Well, because he has a show on the show. Right. Tool time. Right. He takes tool time off the air. Yes.

Yes. So they brought three of us in and said, you're going to, whoever gets the part, you're going to start shooting immediately. That's so exciting. And I was third. And you were like, it could be me. I was third. They brought one person in. He auditions.

And then they brought him out to the waiting room. They brought the second person in. He auditioned. And then was presumably taken directly to sets because he never came back into the waiting room. It was a different door. They needed to film it immediately. Yes. And then I was brought in and brought back to the waiting room.

And then they came out to the other two of us and said, okay, neither of you got it. So weird. Wow. So I was there basically saying like, okay, I did. did not get this during my audition. I really liked that era of auditioning when, like, especially getting close to something. Oh, it was amazing. Yeah.

When it got down to you and a couple other people. Yeah. There was something that was really fun about it. There was one year where I was testing for a show and for people who don't know, you get, when you get close to getting like a series regular role on a show, you have to, like, do the audition in front of the network and then the studio and then like every you get there's like levels and like you get

through these levels. And I had this audition and so everyone's you know you see people you know and people are kind of like everyone's nervous or kind of in their own space or whatever and Nicole Byer was there and she got a phone call while we were all waiting and it was that another pilot show edition for cast her and she got to leave. And I was like that's the best. That was like

she was like oh I got a part bye. We were like oh great. Yeah yeah. I remember when people made things? just felt like you could get parts. Pilot season was a real thing. Yeah. It was fun.

It was fun. It was fun. It was fun because I never got anything. I remember it being, I remember like obviously there was a nerve-wracking element to it. But when I think back on it, I just remember how exciting it was. Yeah. You know, it was exciting because it felt like what we all moved here to do.

Yeah. It's like now it's so scattered and weird. You didn't know what was going to happen. Yeah. And there was a lot of opportunity. Like at pilot season, there was. were so many auditions. It'd be every January, February, whatever you're auditioning from.

And you had to clear your schedule, basically. Oh, yeah, absolutely. People would move out here just for those months and live in the Oakwood apartments or what have. Yeah. And has anyone stayed while they were making skylarking? Wow. Has anyone proven that that doesn't work?

Like, is that model dead for a reason? I mean, they wasted a lot of money. And back then it was the only game in town. So they had a lot of money. So now, but there are places that say they're going back to that model. I did hear that there was one network that was going to do that again. I remember getting out of jury duty once because of pilot season.

Wow. Really? The judge understood? The judge said this is going to be a long trial. So if you have any reason or whatever, and I like wrote a letter and said this is you know, this is a specific time of year. Yes. Where all this happens. And you let me go. I got out of jury duty because of shark tail, but

they made me defer. they were like you were like I wrote truck down yeah they were like oh we love Michael and Perioli in this um no I it was like four months before it came out and I was like this our movie's coming out in four months I can't be on to trial for four months and they said well we'll let you defer but hold on a second yeah why couldn't you

you have four months and you're we were still testing it and still writing oh okay stuff for it well that's crucial we I mean yeah we were we were detail we were we were doing test screenings a lot and changing so much of it. It's very late in the game. It's, for an animated movie, it's coming out in two months. I found that the computer animated movies, they can do the animation like that. And so everything got like, you know, shuttled to the back few months. And so, but they were like, okay, you can defer it, but you're, we, we won't cancel it. So we'll like, you know, you can come back in six months or come, you know. Wow. Yeah. So you were

selected. I ended up never being selected. I'm so sorry. You were rejected. I kind of want to do it. Would you want to do jury duty? I've done it. I don't necessarily want to, but I think that I should if I get the opportunity. That's how I feel like it is my civic duty. I was not dying to do it. And I think, you know, if you're a smart person who can be helpful. I really want to do jury nullification on some of these trials that are coming up these days with people who are wrongly accused of stuff. Oh, well, wait, well, before we move on, Mike is on a jury right now. I think it's okay for me. So we can't talk about it? I think it's about to be over. So, yeah. But it's been, it's been intense. I've heard it's been intense.

That's all he said. Mike was on my St. Patrick's Day show. Yes. He was very funny. He and Patrick McDonald and Jessica McKenna were the vampires from sinners. It was very fun. He was very happy to do it. And he said, he was very funny that night.

And he said, he sharpened his teeth for, it. Yeah. Yeah. He got a he did not have some costume elements so I sent them to him. The vest? Is he a vest guy? He doesn't have a vest, but there was a button down with no collar. There was a shirt, yes. A collarless shirt.

And a suspender situation. Now, he said the shirt was wrinkled and that you ironed it. I did. I steamed it. And he said that he told you, I think it's actually, it's okay. if it's wrinkled.

Yes. And that you said to him, do you think Paul will be okay with that? Yeah. Which I really appreciated. For the record, it would have been okay if it was wrinkled. But it wasn't wrinkled.

It was like folded. Yes. And I was like, let's just look like you lived in the, that's not the same. You don't want it to look like you just pulled it out of the Amazon bag. And I was,

I wanted it to work with one of those ones. Which I really appreciated. Thank you. With a folded shirt that I had just taken out of it. No, Scott. Yeah. One, two, three. Neanderthal.

That's how we say you're in Neanderth. We have to take a break. We'll be right back. I got to say, I love that feeling of satisfaction after finishing a home project. Oh, really? What home projects have you been working on? I just want to say a little more about that. The pride, you know, of saying like, I did that myself.

Sure, but to be specific, which home projects have you been? And that's how I feel. She built me a clubhouse, all right? Oh, really? Are girls allowed in this clubhouse? No, backwards. Yes. And I feel the same way about the clubhouse as I do about taking control of pest management with pesty.

Oh, yeah. You know, I discovered pesty. Oh, or like Christopher Columbus? I was going to say. No, I just saw it and I bought it. Oh, like Christopher Columbus. Yeah, exactly. But before that, even one bug would just give me the creeps because I knew that ignoring it could quickly lead to a full-blown infestation.

But now I feel this huge sense of release. because I can handle it stress-free without needing to have strangers in my house. Looking at things and saying, I'm going to rob that. I'm going to rob that. I can't even handle the idea of bugs, much less one. Well, pesty makes DIY past control incredibly simple. Listen, boys. Their kid includes everything you need.

Pro-grade pesticide, a sprayer, gloves, a mixing bag, and clear instructions. In less than 10 minutes, my home is protected from common pests like spiders, ants, and roaches. Plus, each treatment is customized for my specific season, location, and weather, which means it's more effective than those watered down products you buy at the store. What, Paul? With the strangers, how come two of them had nice store-bought masks and the one just had a bag? I know. They really got to get it together, the strangers.

Anyway, what were you saying? Oh, I was going to say, I was relieved to learn that Pesty is kid and pet-friendly so I can keep my home pest-free without worrying about it in being bad for my child or my little furry friends. It's also, by the way, affordable with treatments starting at just $35. Paul, Paul, keep the bugs away with Pestey, okay? Okay. Go to pesty.com slash threedom for an extra 10% off your order. That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash freedom for an extra 10% off.

Do you know why I'm going to use it? Why? Because I'm at home. Okay. I don't know about you, Paul. Well, what would you like to know? Okay, well, let me tell you something about myself and I'll see if you, relate. Okay. I like. I like things too. I like. What's that song? I like. I like.

I can't remember any example, but it's permeated through my breath. I love you too. Anyway, I like keeping my money where I can see it. But I don't like big wireless carriers. Yeah, I know this. Yeah. So after years of overpaying, dealing with bogus fees and these quote unquote free perks that actually cost more, I finally just, I gave up, not on life. I gave up and I switched to Mint Mobile. I'm so glad because I was watching you do all those things and it was tearing my heart out. Yeah. It looks so stupid.

Mint Mobile offers premium wireless plans starting at just $15 a month. All plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text, and they're delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes, and start saving immediately. No long-term contracts in Scott. I don't know if you're going to live this. I hate hassles. Is it about those?

No hassle. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. I am so happy that I switched to Mitt Mobile. The service is fast. It's reliable. And guess what? With all that money that I have in my bank account, I've started betting Polly Market.

And I'm now a trillion there. Oh, okay. You know what? I was worried? I feel great for you. Yeah. So anyway, it's, it's, I'm saving so much. If you like your money, like Scott does,

MintMobil is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five-gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra see MintMobile for details.

You know, this time of you, It always makes me rethink what is in my closet. Oh. You know what I mean? This time of year makes me think about weird bugs. Yeah, I know. Yeah. That's usually what's in my closet.

Oh. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, we're very, very similar. Anyway, I'm trying to keep fewer things in my closet, but better things, you know. Pieces that are well made, easy to wear all the time. And that's why I keep coming back to quince. That's why. The fabrics feel elevated.

The fits are thoughtful. The pricing. It actually makes sense. You know why that is? Why? What's up? Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft, flow-knit activeware fabric. I'm glad you mentioned linen because this is something I like to talk about all the time.

Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable, and comfortable. The perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined. So you look put together without even trying. Yeah. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. I hate middlemen. We're dismissive.

So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy. You know what? We have a lot of stuff from Quince here at my house. In fact, the three of us. Well, we do. Combines. Yes.

We try to wear one community outfit every day. I just got a great duffel, like a sort of to go bag on your, when you're traveling and put it on top of your suitcase. Yes. We actually got clothes for our daughter, and she loves the dress that she's worn it now two days out of the last three. We washed it in between, trust me. We're constantly doing laundry.

But she loves this particular dress at Quince. And I was like, wow, where did she get this dress? I looked in the back, and I should have known. There's that tag. She went. I have a lovely zip-up cardigan, cashmere, if you please. And it's a beautiful blue color.

I couldn't be happier with it. Well, we want to implore you out there. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash freedom for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available, by the way, in Canada, too. Go to Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash freedom for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash freedom. Did you know that the little tagline for McClure?

Farland Toys is it's an attitude. Hell yeah. Yeah, that's really cool. Is McFarland Toys still around? You know what? Now I want this. Really? Well, that's very cool.

Of course they're still around. They do a lot of, they do spawn toys, of course. But then they also do, I remember them doing a lot of hockey action figures. Now, I, yeah, that rings a bell for some reason. Yeah. Yeah, let me say this. I'm looking at the back at some of their other products. Okay.

And do they have Ash from Army of Darkness? Yes. Do they have Leatherface? Yes. Do they have, you know, Clive Barker's tortured souls? Absolutely. Six of the most frightening action figures ever created. Complete with original Barker action.

We all know what that means. But they also have Todd McFarlane's Blair Witch. Now, I've only ever seen the first Blair Witch movie, the Blair Witch Project. Yes, I've only seen that as well. What's the other one? On the back, well, they made like, so you know that was a fake found footage thing. It was fake? By the way, this is going for $600 on eBay.

I just looked it up. This thing? Whoa. I'll take it back right now. Yeah, man. Good luck. Thank you very much. And may the odds be ever in your favor?

Because, you know, people put Princess Diana Beanie babies on there for $12,000. That's so fucking funny. When you look those up, there's so many of them. I just don't understand why we're not lowering the price and making it. these things moves. People still believe. People still believe. There's no way anyone's spending money on these things. I have to say like...

Someone's selling it for 400 at a different store. If I had to guess someone will pay 300 for this. Yeah. A fool of his money or soon party. I told you to rip it open. You did. Shows what I know. Well, and I don't do that sort of thing. I just have to say as someone who liked

Beanie Babies when they were at their height, I wasn't attracted to the Princess Diana. a beanie baby. I didn't like that that style of bear. I didn't I wasn't motivated to purchase it for six dollars. You know what makes it different just as purple? There's these that the style of bear that they had is like a sort of different colors and then that was a special one right I just never wanted that bear. Oh I see you didn't like the whole Beanie Baby aesthetic that bear right I didn't like that bear right I didn't like that bear. I had other ones I have many as we know of course we know this and I should pull them out because I think they're going to start loving playing with these.

But that bear I wouldn't buy. But I should have. You should have because you're the, you're a person who's actually met her. And as someone who's met her, I should have owned that. Do you think RFK Jr. is making a mistake by not doing a plush version of that bear he left in Central Park? Probably. He should do one of the worm, too. Did he?

He's missing a lot of merch opportunity. Did he get the merchandise rights? He could sell on like the sesame street worm. Yes. To the worm? To the worm and to the bear. And to the dance the worm. that worm is named Slimy.

Oh, that's very cute. He should do, he should trademark the dance, the worm. Yes. He should. And he should do it all the time. He should be like, that's mine.

And I walk like that now. He should do press conferences and then say, and now as always I close with the worm. And then he gets down. His jeans. He takes shirt off. He does the worm. Sick.

Why was the worm not invented earlier? You know? Scott, I can't answer that, man. But you know what I mean? It's like, our bodies have been able to do it.

ever since we were cavemen. It took till the 1900. It took till the 1980s for someone to go like. Here's what. Yeah. I'll tell you exactly what. Okay. Because our bodies were too brittle.

Can I say something? We don't even know what dances are waiting for us. That's the thing. Oh my God. That's so scary. What else can our bodies do? I honestly think that breakdancing is the pinnacle of dancing achievement that there will never be anything better.

Do you think that guy who did the history? of dance video. Who's that? Who's this guy? You don't remember this famous viral video, the history of dance? No, Mikhail Beriznikov, perhaps? No. No, but I remember that one woman who's wearing like an orange t-shirt.

The one woman who's wearing like that jumpsuit and she's like, we do it like this. And I remember her? Another one, two, three thing? She actually just goes, ah! There's some other lady telling her what noises to make while she's dancing. you guys do not know the history of dance video no i mean i claim to not know things that i do know so let me see if i know this that's a good point history of dance video doesn't it make you scared for like witnesses on a trial though where i said he doesn't say

one too scared about you he doesn't say one two three he screams yeah if i was a wikipedia if i were on the stand and i looked out and i saw you in the jury i'd be like i'm fucked no you would want me. Oh, no. If you were on the stand. Yeah. Then you'd be like, war fuck.

If I was in the jury, and I saw you up there, I was like, I know how I'm voting. Yes, exactly. Judson Lapley, the evolution of dance. I don't need his whole Wikipedia. Yes.

Look under video. No. I wanted to look under Wikipedia. Scott, why? Because I want to know about it. If somebody says, there's this famous viral video, you go right to the Wikipedia.

Yes, and learn all about it before I watch. In 1988. I go to the library. I started a business to give This is Chase.com. Has some words for us. Ah, Chevy Silverano. They're making money hand over fists in this video.

I've never seen this. It's basically the history of dances that are on video. Yes. That's very similar to people are losing their minds. Who gives a shit? Wait, this is a corporate retreat or something.

Can you imagine giving a shit? Who is not even dressed in like a costume or something to get me excited? He's wearing a t-shirt and jeans a belt. This is like if I were there, I would not have any reaction at all. They must all know him. He can't even dance. I think this is like a corporate retreat. Wait, let me see.

I want to see it. Is there a little bit of? to minimize the screen? Is there a way to minimize him? He's spending a lot of time in the 70s. He didn't even nail it. So they're just excited about the recognition. From the Brady Bond.

Get out of the 70s, dude. He's almost there. That's the evolution. You did Elvis, the twist, and then did 15 minutes on the 70s. None of these dances are hard. It feels like he's at a summer camp. I could do all of this to this exact same. same ability. But he got famous and got a Wikipedia page from this?

Is that dancing? I'm happy for him. You know what? I got to pull it back. I'm happy for him. Now he's head banging, which is not really dancing. That's not really a dance. Oh no. Okay. Now he's got. It's got to do it. Still in the MJ? That's not really the three-er dance. No, but that's what I just said in my workout class today. The umpillumab dance is not part of the evolution of dance. I need this to stop. This was huge this video.

That video specifically, it's just him on a stage and far away with like a spotlight on him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a terrible video. It must have been some corporate retreat. I can't remember the story. It's okay. Wikipedia, what are you saying? The state president of the Ohio Association of Student Councils from 1993 to 94.

Dork. He's best known for this video, which became one of the most famous YouTube video. ever and was the most viewed YouTube video over three time periods from May 2006 to October 2009. The place you've seen era. Yeah. The Bronze Age. And today. He originally performed it.

Yeah, I know. We watched it. Well, where? Oh, here's a list of all the dances. I don't care. Where is it? By the way, we were not even a third of the way through. Oh, I thought that way.

There's a history of death. What year is he, did he make this video? He made this probably in 93 or 94. Okay, so he has a lot to do, actually. That's why he spent so much time in the 70s because he wasn't going that far. He's got to go that many more years. Oh, no, it must have been, oh, no, yeah, it must have been around 2000 because he ends with bye, bye, bye. Okay, so he's 26 years.

Does he have, is you can't touch this in there? That's a good, good question. Yes, it is. Of course. Right after Ice Ice Baby. Was it a talent show? Remember the dance from Ice Ice Baby? They never say exactly where he did it.

That's fucking insane. So there's pages and paragraphs on Wikipedia about this and we don't know why or where. Why or where it has? Yes, exactly. He's 50 years old. Now? He's only 50? No.

He's currently 50. Are you fucking kidding? No, I'm sorry. He just turned 50 in March. That man is 10 years older than me now. maybe depending on what you're lying about your age currently

I'm not lying seven years younger than me but in that video he looks 40 but it was the year 2000 he's he's in his 20s

in the video okay that's that's bananas yeah but it's you know that's part of what happens when time and style changes

that's what happens when body starts slapping you know what also video quality it's what happens when his body starts laughing from doing the wild thing by the way the evolution of dance two by the way was released on december 17 2008 as part of a national viral marketing campaign for doesn't say good let me go to the footnote great campaign stuck with absolutely no one yep no idea but it it's uh it's shorter i'll tell you that much wikipedia says no free rides and it goes all the way up to soldier boy uh soldier boy oh yeah that oh there's a

an evolution of dance three. It was announced by Judson on June 16, 2010. He said he was in its early stages. It was too early to give any details. 2013. Fucking Richard Linkley. In a YouTube comment, he claimed he was trying to incorporate much older music and possibly include a second dancer.

It was uploaded in April of 2016 to commemorate the 10th anniversary of Evolution of Dance. It was abloated what? So it would have been 2006. Okay, so he would have been... The age thing is getting less and less weird. Okay, so in 2006, when it was uploaded, he would have been 30 years old. Okay.

So this is better. It makes more sense. This is better. Speaking of Tonloak. Yeah, let's talk about him. I rewatched Heat the other day. Oh, yeah. Which I had not seen since it was in the theater.

And Tonloca's in it? I don't remember it. Okay. I made a list of people that I completely forgot. Okay. Because you got the president from 24. Now, remind me, what heat is. Hold on, hold on. Remind you of who Tomok is?

What Heat is. Heat is a movie about a woman who's got a big ass and a man who adores it. Oh, that sounds like a movie. I can get behind. No pun in to him. Here's what's funny is that he starts to say she's got a big ass. And he course corrects and says great ass. But you see him go, but real ass.

She's got a great ass. She's got a great ass. Okay, here's who I forgot we're in it. Should I watch that? Natalie Portman. Yeah, right. The daughter. Yeah.

Dennis Haysbert, Tone Loke, Danny Trejo. William Fickner. Yep. Henry Rollins. Right. Bud Cort. Bud Cort's in. What's he recently passed?

He's the guy at the fucking diner that Dennis Haysbert works at. Oh, he is. All right. Yes. Jeremy Piven. Okay. He's in. He plays the doctor.

Does he sing? not in this movie. Is there a musical? And Zander Berkeley. Okay. Yeah. Who plays the guy. He's in everything around that.

He's a new boyfriend. And then she. It's really funny that I don't know if it's supposed to be funny. You, I would think it would, I would definitely know if it was funny if they cut to Zander Berkeley on this line. But his name is like, you know,

Marty or something. And so, you know, Pacino comes in. He's so mad that she's got another guy their marriage just sucks. Right, yes. So he grabs his little tiny TV. He goes, you don't get to watch my

TV! And so he rips it out of the wall and so then they have a quiet fight by the door. She goes, and because you're never here, now I'm reduced to shaming myself with Marty. Like he sucks so bad. Now if it were funny, if it were supposed to be funny,

I think they would have cut to him going like, hey. Right. He did a UCV show once and I remember him being very nice and funny. I met him once and he was very nice and funny. Yeah. I liked him a lot. Al Pacino.

Al Pacino, Al Pacino. He workshopped the Dunk Donuts song. The rap. Hey, all you guys are mine. I need. I just need some time after death rate. You know how. So I host, Yasker, trying out the jokes before they go.

I just want to try this rap. Didn't Conan just do that at UCB? Yes, he did. That's pretty cool. Quite a few places, I believe. Now was Kate Mantellini and. this. Yes, it was. That's where they have their... Is there an actual Kate Mantellini

though? I just have coffee with McCauley half hour ago! And nobody says, what? Why did you do that? The criminal were trying to get? Trying to find? Did you try to tell him to turn himself in? Yeah.

I like how wild he is in his acting. This is it's a real sort of bridge performance. Yes. Well, from from a woman, right?

Yes. Scent of a woman is when he really is like, oh, yelling. Oh. Because I remember, I like this yelling. I feel like C of love, late 80's sea of love.

He's still kind of himself. Yes, absolutely. But then, yeah. Then after he, he does so long, he's got like, well, I got to yell. Right. Occasionally.

I got to mix it up. Yeah. It's a three-hour movie. Okay. How long people are going to be watching this? Okay. It's three hours. It's a long, long movie.

And I maintain, and people, you can say whatever you want. I think it's kind of a ridiculous movie. I think the heist of it is so kinetic and interesting that that that's what people remember. And, you know, the rest of it, the whole like, what's her name from NYPD Blue? Like, going to the hotel and pulling the fire alarm and all that kind of shit. isn't that a big part of it what's her name yeah you know she's she was in NYPD blue oh his McCaley's girlfriend yeah yeah I here's the thing I could not remember her name and I still can't remember her name she's she's I know exactly who she is yeah she's been in a billion things yeah

I have known her name I have known her name for whatever reason I could not pull her name yeah she was most recently that I remember in the leftovers was she yes you ever watched leftovers or Lauren eat any leftovers. I have watched myself eat them. In the mirror? In the mirror. Have you ever been on a layover? Have I been on a layover?

Yeah. Yes, I have. Have you ever had a lie down? I have. Have you had a fry up? No. What's a fry up? A fry, you never had a fry up.

Do you want to see if it's one of these people pictured here in the cast? Yes, I do. I feel like her name starts with an A. That's what I feel like too. And not Ashley Judge. But I kept saying Amy Brennaman. Amy Brennaman. She's got a great ass.

She looks amazing. I just saw a picture of her, I guess, recently. She's a lovely lady. I could not. I kept thinking Amy Irving and I'm like, that's not Amy Irving. Can't be no. I know it's not Amy Irving. No.

But yeah, the movie is like fucking. It's crazy. But a great. It takes a long time to get to that point. I know. Oh, I know it does. These guys are supposed to be such skilled, you know, heat men. Yeah.

And then they have this big fucking shootout in the street. Well, something goes wrong, although, you know, that's what you have to account for, is that something will always go wrong. You do have to account for that. Crime doesn't pay. You have to be able to leave in 30 seconds, et cetera, et cetera. Did they ever catch the, do you remember the restaurant bandits who would go into restaurants It's like on Sunday at 10.30 a.m.

They would go in, rob everyone in the restaurant. Guns. You know, rob the bar, rob everyone. And then there would always be restaurants with close proximity to the freeway. And then they would get away. They did this for years. And I don't think they ever got caught. And then I think they just stopped.

Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer? I think they just stopped doing it. And they got away with it. I think unless they were caught for other things. I'm going to look this up. It was all in the valley. It is funny how you don't hear as much about people who got away with it. Yeah.

But it happens. Yeah. Like even with like car chases. There was a. Yeah. There was a. But I guess they're not announcing that to us because. They don't want us to think that it's easy.

They don't say like, here's how you do it. You just keep driving. This one trick cops hate. But I remember going. Across the state line, they can't go out. I remember going to brunch with Kulap at a restaurant and the waiter. The waiter casually mentioned, oh, yeah, this place has been hit by them twice. And I was like, I'm never coming back again.

Twice. Twice is mean. Yeah. Look, I'm all for a gentleman bandit. But you can't go back twice to the same place. To rob them? Yeah. Oh, die.

Yeah. All that's coming up by the. way is bandits grill and bar. Let's go there. All right. Let's go there now. And ask why are they a grill and bar and grill? Yeah.

You put what you care more about first. We only serve two drinks. This is in Thousand Oaks. We love grilling ship. Do you really want to make the trip to Thousand Oaks? By the way, just went to their website. Look at that. Oh, my God.

Full video of ribs. Oh, join the membership club. I ate an amazing meal. I don't even want to blow up the spot, but I want to say, You know what? It's rare that you keep thinking about food, like, that you ate days later. I'm like, I want that again. Yeah.

I want that again. It's called McDonald's. Whoa. Is it the new? What is the new burger they have that was viral? The steamy mccheas? The steamy mccheas. What?

I made it out. From Grey's Anatomy? Yeah. Dreamy McCheese. Dreamy McChees. It's steamy McChees over there. Oh, yeah, RIP, Steaming McCheese. All right.

We have to take a break. Do you ever find yourself scrolling through headlines, especially health headlines, and just thinking, that can't be true? Well, I certainly do. 2025 brought us some ridiculous far-fetched health claims and some especially terrifying changes in public health. What's in store for us in 2026? I'm Chelsea Clinton, and we're back with season two of my podcast, That Can't Be True. follow along and catch up on season one wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back.

I know I am. I'm here. We're all here. The three of us. And what we like to do sometimes on this show is we like to put our website to good use. You know, every once in a while with a website, if it's just sitting there, you've got to like get onto it and press buttons. And make sure that all the buttons work. You don't want it to grow mold.

The hyperlinks are still active. Yes. And so what we did the other day was we have this website. We know you know it. It's hagclaims8.com. It's famous. We don't even need to say it. Have we had a lot of dead hyperlinks on there?

Yes, we have. Yes. It's like a dead forest where you have to clear out the dead hyperlinks sometimes. We, Hagglaims8.com was taking you to all sorts of places back in the day. Yeah. It was your main hub for the. for the internet. It was where you started.

Most people made it their homepage. Yeah. It made sense because you could get to everything from there. Yes. But now with the dead internet, all of these websites are going down. We had dead links everywhere. Oh my God, everywhere. It was really, it was a dead link graveyard.

Yeah. Yeah. It's where links went to die. Mm-hmm. Some people would put their links on our page just because they were dead. Yeah. Yeah. And they didn't know where else to put them.

Do you think that the website was causing the links to die? I know there was a certain strange. So there was like a energy. I do need to say something about that. There was, there was an energy, but the energy came from. So there was this guy who kind of would shrink down.

This has happened a few months ago. Like an Ant Man type or a Rick Moranis type? His name was Richard Cherubi. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, Little Richard Shrewby. Not the famous Little Richard. No.

That's why you say his last name. Little Richard. he did sing. He did sing, actually. He sang a lot. Yeah. Not professionally. No, just like to press the time.

He would sing when he shrank down. Yeah. Yeah, because his voice got hired. He thought it was funny. Causing him to shrink down the singing? I don't think so because I saw him do it. I saw him do it without singing one time. Oh, okay.

That's a leap to make. He was having a bad day. If he did it every single time he shrank, then I would think. I think he enjoyed the shrinking and then one time he was having such a bad day that he was just sighing as he shrank. Oh, okay. Yeah. Anyway, so he, a few months ago, this was kind of, of all happening with him where he would like get into computers.

He kind of went to the main computer. The main frame of Earth. That had claims 8 was sort of the homepage for and the hub. Yeah. The one in the center of the earth, the computer that's right there. He started. It keeps the Earth going. Tinkering around and, you know, fiddling.

Well, and a lot of it was he just didn't know what he was fucking doing. No. And he's tripping over stuff in there. No. And some of it was gross. Like he got a little comfortable and just relaxed a little too much. You know what I mean? I don't know what you're saying.

He took a nap and he drooled on some parts. Yeah. Oh, okay. So that caused things to go haywire. Oh, it was. Well, there's more to that. What?

Really? Tell us. I just turned about the naping. Well, I don't want to talk about, you know, he's a real person. I don't want to like.

We've already said his name. Okay. He would jerk off like. No, Richard Sherrooby. No. Little Richard Sherroby. Because when he was so small, it was funnier to him.

I mean, it is funny. Would he shrink everything but his penis? No, it shrank to. It shrank too. So it was proportional. But it's funny to be tiny and jerking off. Yeah.

Like it was just, it was just funny. That's funny. That's pretty funny. It's funny. So he sort of paused like a huge. Like imagine a cake topper, a wedding cake topper. Drinking off.

And they start during your wedding. Yeah. Yeah. But then springles come out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And he was. So he was kind of a weird guy. And I mean, I think in his. I mean, honestly, he sounds a little odd. I will say like he died. in the computer. Yeah.

Oh no. So the energy you're feeling, I think, is from his spirit, but also from the stuff he did, you know, that kind of fucked shit up and ruined Had Claims 8 permanently. And we had his body moved. We thought permanently. Well, yeah. We didn't tell you this.

Yeah. I've been under the impression that HAC claims 8 doesn't work anymore. Oh, my God. No, no. For a long time, that was true. That was true. And you were under the correct impression a few months ago. Yeah.

But now you're dumb. You've been rendered dumb. Because he was, we had his. body taken out. Yeah. It was pretty easy to do. It was pretty easy. Somebody just opened up the back and plucked him out of there.

It wasn't that big of a deal. Okay. And we kind of put him in a shop back. We put him in a shoe box. Yeah. And we had him buried at the Hollywood Forever. And he's.

I noticed some little tiny graves there that were like one inch tall. You noticed that? Yeah. Well, his gravestone is tiny, but we put him in a full size casket with a shoe box in a full size casket. Oh, okay. to represent what he typically looks like. I would imagine it would be more expensive to get a tiny casket made than just buying a regular

casket. It was. Yeah, it was not a big deal. Okay. That was a weird day because we went into the place. And why did we decide to tell Scott? You were going through something yourself or something. Oh, yeah.

I was kind of trying to get my life in order and saying like, what the fuck am I doing? Oh, yeah. He kept saying what the fuck am I doing? And we were like, it's just not even. Don't bother me. Yeah. Don't tell him about little Richard Cheruby. Also, this is before I had my coffee.

too. And honestly, he's a very but first coffee kind of guy. We're not supposed to talk to Scott before he has his coffee. All of his mugs say it. All of his mugs. A couple t-shirts. And his mug on the top of his body. And his personal life license plate. Yeah.

Which is so, it's weird because it's, it's the same number of characters as a regular personal license plate. And yet it communicates. Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Yeah. It's strange how people are able to read this. Well, don't blow up. Don't, come on.

Don't, don't want my, I don't want my. DT2M. Loren. What are you doing? IHM. You're being like Little Richard Cheruby right. I'm not being like him. Look, Lauren was right.

If you see me on the street, give me a honk. One honk will do. I'm not being like him and I want you to take that back because you remember some of the things he said. You know what? You're right. And I'm sorry. I do take that back.

He was a bad person. He was really not nice. Why did anyone then want him to do? all of this stuff for us. He was cool. He was good at his job. He was cool and he was kind of the only guy who did it. He was, he was a guy who was not great, but he was cool. Like Johnny Depp.

Yeah. Johnny Depp seems like a real scumbag, but you're like, ah, but he's so cool. There's got to be something that's redeeming about this. Yes. And so I think with Little Richard Shrewy. Nobody who wears hats that chewed up can be all bad.

Was Little Richard Shrewby? Was he handsome? Did he have like, he was gorgeous? A mesical face? I thought he was gorgeous. No, he was. Like, he looked like, okay, so have you ever seen like a perfect looking person? I think I'm looking at one right now, Lauren. Do you know what? Thank you.

To be fair, he was handsome when he shrank down. Oh, because his face. Oh, yeah. It worked better smaller. His features were pretty spread apart. And so when he was normal or average size. Well, any human body, when you close up on, get really close up. on it with a microscope looks disgusting.

It's disgusting. And we were on him with a microscope once a week to kind of make sure he was healthy and just check things out for the website. See what percentile he was in. For the website. And by the way, I don't know any of this is happening because I haven't had my coffee yet. Yeah.

So then finally you buried him and what's going on? Why didn't you tell us? What's that? That you haven't had your coffee. Oh, no. I haven't had it yet. Yeah. No.

Well, we've been talking to you this whole time. I know. So what are the rules, man? zooming inside. this is on you I should let you know you're not even wearing one of the t-shirts

I do an episode I should let you know that I have not had my coffee relax Paul you know what you're right Scott I take that back we just wanted to give

so Scott wrote and I just had told him to do this like in the break so he wrote a eulogy for little Richard Shrewby that he wanted to read he didn't know enough about him

but he wanted to he knew we were going to talk about something he didn't know and he wanted to feel something. So Lawrence said, Lauren said we're going to talk about something. Do you want to write anything for it? I didn't know who

Little Richard Cheruby is. I didn't know about this situation, but I did write a nice, and it turns out it's a eulogy. You didn't know that he died tiny and was buried in a shoe box inside a regular size coffin? And you have had a tiny grazed? How could he have known that? I feel as if what I wrote is apt.

Please, I'd love to hear it. Because we haven't really talked about it much. Dear sir or madam, yeah I've heard about what happened to you the other day and I just want to say I have the greatest empathy Interesting for a eulogy

to make it second person He didn't know I didn't know I look but I think it works Is it a little out of the box A little edgy? Well no pun intended Not taken

But you know what Things like this happen every single day To human beings and to animals That's so disrespectful Plants too Someone dies and you say things like this happen every day. I'm not even going to mention plants, but I bet Paul mentions. Oh, wow.

And you did. Shit. Whoa. That's crazy. That's freaky. I just got a chill. That's freaky. I got one chill.

I just got a douche chill. By the way, did you doge today? Why did you write that? Why are you saying, oh, interesting? I didn't know what it was going to be about, so I just wanted to cover my bases. Base is covered. Hey, what else is going on, man? Or woman.

good cover hey by the way did you do all your chores today because you don't get your allowance if you don't do your chores everyone knows this and this is stuff you were just saying

to Emmy I thought it would be a pickup line yeah by the way you use your chores today because you look like some trash that needs to be taken out

oh that didn't work did it excuse me anyway little Richard Cherubi rest in peace oh I nailed it on that That was wild.

That was really good. Crazy. Okay. Well, we say goodbye to Little Richard Sherubi. He didn't really help. He didn't help. He made things worse. But the website is fixed?

Yes. Okay. So we could play voicemails? Yeah. Oh, all right. So go to Hagglaims8.com, newly fixed with the absence of Little Richard Shuruby. Oh, yeah. I forgot what we were talking about.

And you can leave us a voicemail. Yeah. All right. Well, let's listen to one. Also enjoy the hyperlinks. Yeah. Here we go. Hey, Freedom boys.

This is Luca from our. Ireland long time piss big. In fact, Paul, I started listening to Spontaneonation when I was 14 and then freedom when it started and I'm now 24, which is just wild. God bless you. But anyway, I really moved to Tenerife three years ago there and I've been working as a waiter in the same place ever since. And the other day, my boss offered me a promotion to manager and I freaked the book out and

quit on the spot because it's not what I want to be doing. with my life. Sorry, can you translate? What happened? You really don't know? He moved to Tenerife three years ago, was working as a waiter. The other day,

his boss offered him a promotion to manager. He freaked out and he quit on the spot. Oh, wow. Okay, that's good to know. Okay, by the way, part of the reason that I'm having trouble is there is a transcription of this that is so off.

I'll read it to you afterwards. Yes, thank you. All right, thank you. I've been a manager in a restaurant like. And so now I'm in this weird, liminal space where I just don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. So I was wondering, did you always know what you wanted to be? I know, Lauren, you were just a babysitter and then a movie star, but for the other two,

were there times where you just didn't know where you're going? And if so, how did you navigate through that? Yeah, maybe a bit heavy. Sorry, but cheers, bye. Not at all. Oh, you're grand. Luca. I love your voice.

Now, do you want me to read the transcription first or should we answer first? Let's hear the transcription. Hatred employees. This is Luca from Ireland. Long time, Jestic. In fact, Paul, I started listening to Spontania. Nation when I was 14 and then through them when it started. And now I'm 24, which is just wild.

But anyway, I removed to a 10 or three years ago there. And I've been working as a waiter in the same place ever since. And the other day, my boss offered me a four motion to manager. and I, four, reached the book I was on Chris on the spot because it's no. Okay, well, I understood everything. AI is stupid. What do I want to be doing with my life in a manager? Can I give an anecdote about a friend that I feel like is appropriate?

Please. My friend, when I was in college, well, when I started doing improv classes, I was 18 and I met some older folks. And I got close with one of my friends who wasn't doing improv. improv and stand up and stuff and he was probably how many years older is he than me five years older or something maybe um and he was working at a shoe store like a sneaker store at the mall in Chicago um and he was probably 23 24 probably and he was he would always be like stoned every day just wanted to work in the back room and then they offered him a manager position and he said no he just wanted no more responsibility than that and he just like doing what he was doing.

And he is now a gastro doctor in the ER. Whoa. He made a choice that was so unexpected after that. He's in his 40s now. So this was a long time ago. But I say that because I think it's so inspiring that like you can be doing something that's just like a job to make money and whatever. And then you can just like find something that you're passionate about and get really into that.

I feel like a lot of people get, take a job temporarily and then get, get offered a promotion and go like, oh, I guess I should take it and then take it. And then like 25 years go by. And they've just now they're in a, I mean, they've made a lot of, they've made money, but they've been in a profession that they never expected to be in or don't really like. So sometimes it's great to turn the promotion down. Yeah. It was.

And I think we always, you know, thought it was so funny that he was such a stoner and didn't want to do anything. And then then I was like, you're the person who's like, you have such a high pressure job now. Yeah. That like it's so intense. probably hell yeah i would assume when he's operating oh man your stomach is fucked up but i always think that story is so cool because i'm like you could he just like started going to

med school and i was like that's insane and then like you know every step of it that's wild yeah i mean i i was very lucky in that i had a friend who got me into comedy very early so i just graduated high school and started doing open mics now it was a thing that i always wanted to do i had no idea how to go about doing it. So I was lucky that early on, somebody shepherded me into this world that I wanted to be in. I always knew that's what I wanted to do, but, you know, growing up where I grew up, it was not, I have no model of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I really think it comes down to what, what do you value most in your life? And if you value most what you do for a job, free time,

yes. Then the job, you figure out a job that will let you do the things that you want to do. Yes, boring jobs that you don't have a passion for can be great if what you value is your family life and having time to do all those things. And, you know, all of that is great.

Sometimes people, sometimes people can fall backwards into jobs that they end up loving too. Yeah. It's like, oh, shit, I never thought that this would be my passion. But I ended up working at this place just for money and I really loved it. Even in what we do, there's many different like avenues of, of creativity. I decided never to audition ever again.

But yeah, that's, I think, well, I actually think that is interesting because it's like you think there's one thing that like with acting. You're like, I want to be an actor. And so I have to do that part. And then you find out all these other things, like types of jobs that you're good at that you're like, oh, I could write something or I could do this or I could do that. And then like that's really exciting too. And when you start discovering those passions and that can be applied to like any other. industry that you think it's sort of one thing like, oh, a doctor. But then you're like, oh, but there's all these other positions that, like, would be fulfilling or whatever.

I always think about my friend who rolled up posters for a living and he said he was never more creative than when he was at that job. It was so boring. And he wrote so many songs like in his free time. So like his mind was free because the job required so little. So little. And he would just be thinking about his art all the time. And he was working a job. He presumably, hated, but he was the most creative he ever was. And then he went on to become a teacher and an artist and stuff. And I think doesn't write as much because he's like working in the arts

during the day. Right. Right. Right. You know. But I think that instinct that you had is correct. Like if you're, if you're feeling that strongly about it, then yeah, I think that was that was you know, good to do. And yeah, I think you just got to really think about what what do I want what do I want to spend most of my time doing you know and some people they want to buy that jet ski and they want to buy that just and they want to way that thing's still for sale the price is going down yeah it's still so high it's 30,000 dollars we'll put it was 60 we'll put a

princess diana beanie baby on it if you want ups the value maybe you just want to sell stuff on ebay that you know what I mean that's just maybe you just want to get involved in and then make polymarket bets against the government. Maybe you want to be a mercenary. Yeah. Blackwater. Gee. Well, good luck to you, Luca.

You sound very charming. And I think you're going to turn out great. And you're only 24, which is like. You got the world. You got time. You got time, but this is great. Too much time. But I think it's cool to just.

But it's great to be thinking about stuff. It's great. This is a great point in your life to think about what you want to do, where you want to be, you know, I mean, look, you fucking moved to Tenerife. God, I think about if I had just agreed to be a restaurant manager at one of the places I was at just for money, I think I would have just never, I would have just stumbled backwards to the matter. Did he say Tenerife?

I thought he said like. All right. Tenerife, yeah. Thank you. That's amazing. A place I only know from English television shows. It looks like, wait, unless I spelled it wrong. It went to Tenerife.

An island in Spain? Is that what that is? Yeah. Cool. If we can cut the fucking side chatter... I'm trying to figure out. Then what would the show be? That's true.

If you want to leave us a voice mail, go to hagclaimsday.com. Check out the hyperlinks. They're alive and pour one out for Little Richard Sheruby. He's gone, but not forgotten. For now. We will forget him eventually. Yeah. Probably by next week.

That's how life works. Yep. That's going to do it for this episode. of Freedom. And if you wondered who we were the entire time, I'm Scott. I'm Lauren. I'm Paul. Yeah. And we're back, baby. And, and come see Paul and I on tour with the Comedy Bang Bang Tour. And come see Mary and me on tour as well. That's right. Must have announced it by now. We're coming to a city near you. Very exciting. Bye.

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