Threedom - Comedy Bang! Bang! 2016 Tour Best Of Pt. 2

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

While Threedom is on a break, here is a look back to the origins of the Pretzel Gang: Scott, Paul F. Tompkins and Lauren Lapkus look back at some of the favorite moments of the 2016 Comedy Bang! Bang! Live Tour. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lemonada. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the coffee plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function, and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning.

Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Espresso.com. Have you ever watched someone you love struggle with addiction and had no idea what to do? I'm Stephanie Whittleswax, and I certainly have. My show last day started with a question I've been asking myself, ever since I lost my brother Harris to a heroin overdose. What could have saved him? After years of talking to experts, advocates, and people in recovery,

I've written the answers into my new book, Last Day, How to Stop Losing, our loved ones to the opioid crisis. If you've ever been impacted by addiction or you want to better understand this crisis or you're just a human who cares about other humans, this book is for you. Get your copy of Last Day at bit.ly slash last day book or wherever books or audio books are sold. Freedom! Freedom! Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here and welcome to Threatom. I am alone and not with Paul and Lauren. and if this is the first time you've been listening in a while, I will explain why, very, very briefly,

if this is something that you're tired of hearing. Hey, I'm tired of saying it. But why is it just me? It's because Threatom is on hiatus for another couple of weeks. And we're going to be back in a couple of weeks with our exciting episode 300. But until we come back, we thought we would re-release old episodes from the vaults, not of freedom, but of something else. And let me explain what this is.

This is something called Comedy Bang Bang 2016 Tour Best of Part 2. Now, what are these? These were special episodes that Paul Lauren and I hosted, as ourselves, talking about the Comedy Bang Bang Tour that we had just wrapped up most of until other dates got added in Australia.

But these were for the old Earwolf subscribers. They were exclusive to that. So a lot of people haven't heard these. And these are basically the episodes where we said, hey, maybe we should do a podcast together just with the three of us as ourselves. This is the first time that we had ever done this.

These best of episodes, we recorded all three of these. This is number two. We heard number one last week. We recorded all three of these in one sitting. And you're going to hear us very, very loopy, much like how we are on Freedom. And after we recorded these, we said, hey, let's do a

podcast like this. So this is very, very interesting, I believe, to you, if you're a fan of freedom. So what do you need to know? Comedy Bang Bang, if you don't know what it is, is a podcast that I host, which is a fake talk show where I'm the host as myself and I interview

comedians such as Paul and Lauren playing fake guests. So you're going to hear clips from that, but mainly you're going to hear us telling stories about the two and just being very funny. I listened to some of this earlier. It's very funny. As ourselves, the proto-threatom episodes for you right here.

We're going to be back in a couple of weeks with episode 300 of Threatom. But until then, enjoy this episode of Threatom. Comedy Bang Bang. Hey there, hi, there. Oh, there. Before a bro there. Is that what it was? Sure.

Welcome. Before hi, bro there. Welcome back. This is the best of the Comedy Bang Bang Tour, 2016, Part 2, Part 2. We're going to take you to Part 2. Name that song. Going to take it to Part 2?

Mm-hmm. Is it... Going to take it to Disco. Oh, no, wait. I want to take it to the Game Bar. I don't know what that is. To Game Bar, Game Bar! I want to take it to the Gay Bar!

I don't know what that is. Who did that song? Well, I don't know what, there was, like, a video of these weird little, like, like bats with like human mouths being like gay bat! Wait, it was like one of the first funny videos I ever said. No, that's not true.

Wait. Thank you for being honest. Because I have seen America's funniest. And so that can't be true. What was, what did you say? I said, what is, I'm going to take you to the gay bar. No, but it's a song. Oh, I said, I'm going to take you to part two.

No one knows that song. But take you to, no one knows. I'm going to take you to. I'm going to take you to part two. It's fun and do. It's a. Is it part two by the Partudians? It's probably from your weird shuffle in the car.

Oh! She got you! She fucking got you. Flamed. You burnt! Since I was doing the driving, I had to hook up my phone because of the map would be going. You had to. I had to control the music.

And that meant the music coming out of it would be on my phone, and I quickly found out that I had terrible music on my phone. Because it just automatically downloaded everything I had bought. off iTunes for the past like two months. And I'd been going through a certain phase where I was getting like a lot of early new wave songs. By the way, the song I was singing was Big Audio Dynamite, the bottom line. Oh.

I knew that. I was being cool. So everyone was complaining about the music. So I finally, on one of the tour stops when I had a minute, I deleted all of the stuff that was terrible. And I got a bunch of just like modern stuff and put a bunch of stuff on the phone. and after that, everyone had a better time. I detected zero difference.

Did you? Oh, I noticed it. Did you really? I was like, now I know the songs. Well, because, yeah, Lauren is just like every single song we would play. She'd be like, what is this shit? And like, I've heard a ton of songs in my life, but I had never heard any of the songs you had. To be fair, you've heard mostly patriotic songs.

I only like songs about a favorite. I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free. I will say when I saw that on American Idol, they all sang it once I cried. It was really good. And I won't forget the man who died who gave that right to me. So I better stand up next to you and declare it still to day. That there ain't no doubt I love this land. God bless you, boy.

That is the traditional song we sing. At the beginning of every episode of Comedy Bang Bang. If you're new to the show. Playball! I don't think it ever made it on to the recording before. Oh, no. We sing that before every episode. Let me go, and that's the way you do it.

What is that? I don't know. As often is the case with Lauren I'm missing all of her references. It's not a reference. I just made it up. Oh, okay. But it kind of felt like... It's on reference.

I just made it up. It felt like, somebody stopped me. It had a strong flavor of somebody stopping. No one ever stopped him. No, they didn't. He begged people to do it. He begged people and they just let that shit run for 90 minutes. Somebody stop him.

Welcome back. My name is Scott Ackerman. If this is the first episode of Comedy Bang Bang you're listening to, that's weird. Don't do that. If this is the first even best of the tour episode you're listening to, don't do that. Go back and listen to the first one and then listen to this one. We're already in the groove. Did you do that?

Did you do that? Cheese? You got me cheese? Is that one of his kids? He liked cheese? He liked cheese? He liked cheese? Like what kind of cheese?

Cheddar props? Did he ever specify? No, but like he would like cheddar. It sounds like it... He would like American cheese? What about American cheese? Just slices, craft singles. He probably would be rolling those slices up and chewing them.

You know, sometimes I'll have the white American cheese to feel like I'm sophisticated. Right, but it's merely just a different color. It's just a different color. Honestly, I don't like orange cheese. cheese, the end, period. No orange cheese. I won't have nachos in general. I don't like melted yucky gooey cheese.

Gross. I don't like orange cheese. I don't like cheddar. I don't like American. So you only like Swiss or Jack or Munster? Monster, Bree. Pepper Jack. What do you have on a sandwich?

I typically would put provolone or no cheese. Wait, wait, wait. What about what's the cheese that has the orange rind, but it's yellow in the middle. That'll do. But it got much back? Big. Wait.

We're all at warring references here. Wait. It's got the orange in the middle, but it got much back. Yellow in the middle, but it got much back. What about Doritos? Oh, I fucking love Doritos. What about Frank Doritos? But they're orange.

It's different because it's fake. Do you like it? It's merely the color or it's the taste of the orange cheeses. Look, Doritos are the only thing that... I like a cheddar cheese-flavored chip. I like sourcrim and cheddar ruffles. I can't explain it. But look, here I am saying, I love, I like a watermelon candy, but I don't really like to bite a watermelon. I don't either. Okay. Some people like, like, all products that are based on tomatoes,

but they don't like tomatoes themselves. Yeah. It's like, they'll like ketchup on a thing. Yeah, I don't like. ketchup isn't even in the tomato family. I'm even weirder. I like tomatoes when they're sliced or diced, but I don't like them when they're whole and round. I had a friend who used to bite into tomatoes as a snack. What a fucking idiot. Like it was an apple? Yeah, like with salt. At lunchtime.

I sometimes like a pickle with a little salt on it. You just go crunch. Crouch. I can just crack a raw egg right down my throat. I like to eat the shell. Makes my poops. Spiky. Welcome.

By the way, my name is Scott Ackerman. Oh, yeah. By the way, hi. By the way, Lauren Lapkis is over here. She just wrote her name down on the piece of paper with a smiley face. Oh, I meant to do that. Thank you, Lauren. Yep.

And here's Paula Tompkins. He's writing his name down with a smiley face. This is just a really good marker. I will, of course, add a smiley face. I will say, Lauren, that you wrote tour 2016 and then a bunch of hearts next to it. Like, you had a lot of fun. Did you have a lot of fun? You know what I actually have said to a few people in the past couple weeks when they've

asked me how the tour went, I say I miss it a little bit. Yeah. It was really fun. I got tired near the end of the traveling, but I still really, you guys never got on my nerves. I hope I never got on your nerves. We had a really fun time together, and I thought everyone was so great. I mean, it's so much fun, and the shows were so hilarious. I don't think anyone got on each other's nerves.

This guy over here. Frank Reno. Frank Reno. No, it was like a really good group. Like, I felt like we all got along really well, and it was very, we were on the same page in terms of how we like to hang out. We liked our alone time. No, we had many family dinner. We did have some family dinners.

But we gave ourselves time to decompress between the shows. But can you imagine if we had done the show and then we had insisted like every night we were going to go to a bar after? It would be horrible. Do you know what it was kind of amazing, I think? And I completely agree that I think everyone was even keeled and everyone was professional. You know what I mean? Like everyone took it seriously and did a good job and cared about what they were doing. Artistically, the shows were really good as well.

Yeah. But I find it just kind of worked out that I think we were all kind of in the same mindset. at the same time. So when it was time to hang out together, we did. And then without really talking about it, people just went off and did their own thing when it was time to do that. A lot of times we would just get back to the hotel and be like, bye!

Yeah. But there was never anybody like texting around, like, hey, what's anybody doing? Right. You know, there's always that person if you're traveling with a group or someone's like thinking that more hanging out should be happening or something. Right.

It was the perfect amount. We had a lot of hanging out together, especially on the car days. Oh, yeah. But it didn't feel like we were, like you say, We didn't feel like we were getting on each other's nerves. And in fact, we were delighted by each other, I would even say.

I was laughing to the point of tears, maybe once a day. Yeah, it was so much fun. And hopefully, when you listen to these clips, you can hear some of the fun. We would have fun everywhere but on stage. That was work. That's where it's time to be serious. And I have to say that even though it was somewhat of a grueling schedule, it never felt, to me anyway, it never felt oppressive.

There were only like a couple days I can think of. There were really hard days just in terms of stamina. There were two very hard days, which we'll talk about. But honestly, even though we got tired, you know, as it went on, it was still manageable. Yeah, yeah. Never felt grueling. It never felt like I can't wait to get home. And in fact, I was saying this to my wife when I got home.

Like, it flew by until the very last day. And then after that show, I was like, I can't wait to go home. Right, you know. And you stayed a day and did a other show. He stayed an extra day, yeah. And so did I. I stayed and hit the gorge. Which I haven't even talked to you about the gorge, but we'll do it off my cat.

Oh, an OMC. Remember OMC? Yeah. OMD? Or orchestral maneuvers in my car? No, no, there was a band OMC as well. What were there? Was OSC?

I believe they did how bizarre, how bizarre. No, it's OMD. No, they did if you leave. If you leave. I'm going to look up. I will cry. Can I get a look it up, Scotty? Look it up, we're going to watch you leave.

Scottie, look it up. Look it up. Look it up. OMC saying, how bizarre? How bizarre? How bizarre? Mm-hmm. And I always, when they came out, I always thought that was a little weird to be OMC when there was an OMD.

You know? Yeah. I mean, what's next? OMB, OMA? Come on. What about there's a show 60 minutes and they do that show 61 minutes? Oh, that show 30 minutes. Ma'am, do you need some help?

What about 30? You seem very upset. Are you okay? She's fainting. What about the adults are fishing? My! Her feet are just straight up in the air. She's on her back.

Rigger, mortis. But I never met her. Rigger, mortis. I never met her mortis. All right. Let's get into these clips. Let's get into them. When we last left off on the previous episode, Frank Dorado.

We were in Boston, and we shall remain in Boston. We were, this is the second show. This is the late show. Now, let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. What do they mean by that? Let's talk about AIDS.

Here's my theory. Let's talk about AIDS. Let's talk about AIDS. That's how you get into it. I've talked about it. I've talked about it. I've talked about it on the show before. There was a certain period in the late 80s and the early 90s where if you had a song about sex, you had to be responsible.

Like, they were putting in one lyric per song either about condoms or about like, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things. In order to protect themselves from criticism of like. Fing or stuff? Is that a good thing? Or it's not bad. Hey, that's up to you. Depends who's getting the finger. That's right.

So you have George Michael singing sex as best ones one on one. The only reason that lyric is in there is so that people can't go, you're just talking about orgies. And then you have doing it by L. Cool J. Where the woman says. Zoola. Zool it at well. Where she says, oh, you my lover, you wear a rubber? Like, come on.

That's so fucking nasty. It's actually grosser to mention that. I know. You my lover. You wear a rubber. Shut up. Fuck up. What would your lyric be?

You a lover? Give me that dick. Are you my lover? Are you my lover? Give me that dick. No rubba. Oh. So you too bitch and rubbers, but you don't want them.

And then you even add the rolling R on there. Throw the rubber. To class it up a little. Yeah, of course. Throw that ruby in the trash. Give me the AIDS in my ass. What? So this person wants AIDS.

I'm giving my AIDS in my ass. Oh, my gosh. Oh, goodness. All right, let's... Getting back on track. Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you. Hey, hey, if you want to go rent the movie, check it out.

Look forward on Netflix or YouTube. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex. Starring my friend Patrick Brewster. We have to get you. Well, earliest film roles, yes. How old is she? Hold on a second. Scott, we have to make time for this.

Okay, go ahead. Let's talk about sex. Features a scene where three women in separate places, separate locations, angrily. Women are always in separate locations. Angrily. Otherwise, they would be occupying the exact same space. Important distinction. Women be in separate locations.

I love this bit. They always be in separate locations. Sorry to interrupt. Frank Dorito. Frank Deerreter. So these three women, they're all upset for the various things that have happened to them in the movie. They're little separate stories. Is that the summary on the guide?

They're upset about the things that have happened in the movie. That would be great in the TV guide of like characters in a TV show undergo things happening in the TV show. And they're upset about the things that the script says. They're perform. They tell their own individual stories, and then they're all feeling mighty blue. So at the end, there are three different places, and they all angrily clean. Clean? Yeah, they start their apartments or something?

That's not sex. It could be only one person, but in my, I believe that all three of them. It's like a split screen. No, we just cut back and forth between all of them. And they're like crying and like scrubbing the tub and stuff like that. What? Tubbs scrubbing. Stereotype.

Please go, what? Why do you have money out? I just have a little. Lauren, during that story, pulled out all of her money, like she's going to, like, start throwing it in Paul. Not all of it.

Whoa. No, it was all crumpled up, and I felt like I could just do that really. You're just doing errands now during the show? She's doing personal errands. Yeah, my errands where I had to go straighten my money. Guys, we got to get to it. We got to get to it.

He's the weird one. We have to get. We have to do it. Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex.

Okay. Seriously, though, let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you. Remember that we're not annoying? Remember that, guys? Remember how nobody got annoyed? I'm saying. I do.

You're saving it all up. I do want to talk about this second Boston show. Okay, we're over the hump. What? We haven't even talked about the first thing? This is a waste. The second Boston show. She's putting on Chapstick.

I'm allowed. That's why I went to my bag. It helps with the vocals. I'm warming up my instrument. Listen, nobody multitaskes like Lauren at a podcast recording. Look. She gets shit. I'm gonna have my purse.

Put on my lips smackers. I'm done now, okay, everyone? We're gonna hear a clip from the second Boston show, and the thing that I... What do you remember most about the second Boston show? Oh, well, I remember the Timekeeper. The Timekeeper. He fucking crushed it.

Yes. Neil was being so funny. This was the first time the Timekeeper appeared on stage with us in the tour. Fan favored the Timekeeper. and... Because it would be part of Neil's... It was the close of his set every night.

His opening set, he would do the timekeeper. But when we wanted him to do it on the show proper, he would not do it in the opening set. That's right. And Neil was being very funny. Do you remember something that he said early on at the tour in New York? Wait, I don't know. Well, we were all staying in the same hotel

and we all had balconies. Oh, my God. He got into the car and was like, hey, you guys go out on your balconies? Like, really tough. And we were like, no, did you? he goes, yeah. And we go, how was it?

He goes, well, it was pretty windy and I was scared, so I went back inside. It really made me laugh. It doesn't sound as funny in the telling. I laughed, I think, for probably 10 minutes. Just because of how macho he was. He brought it up. He asked us if we went out there, and then his reveal was that he was too scared to stand on him.

Which he didn't feel excited. It wasn't part of the story, and it wasn't why he brought it up. No. It wasn't like a bit he was doing. It literally was just like him. trying to make conversation. To me, it seemed like a very brave act of admitting fear. He was like, I had this experience.

I want to see if other people have this experience, too. But he also was recognizing it was a fancy feature in the hotel, which is why he brought it up. Yeah, you go out on those balconies? And they were like, no, did you? Yeah, what did you think? I was scared. It was windy.

It was cold. I was scared. So I went inside. So Neil was making us laugh a lot. the entire time. And the timekeeper was destroying. People were so excited by the timekeeper. When he would go off stage and then he put on this cloak

and he'd come back out before he even said a word, people just recognized this thing you're wearing, which no one had seen. He had done it on the TV show. People knew right away, and they were so fucking excited. And then he would get a big reaction just walking out in costume, and then when he would say his first thing, which was TikTok.

people would go nuts every single night. It really made me think about what we were doing and the fact that people like remembered and cared about the characters. Like watching him do that was kind of mind-blowing for me where I'd be like, there's probably a couple people in this audience who don't know what this is and they're like what?

It's like watching like a famous comedian say like their famous phrase. Wild and crazy guy. Right. Like it was like he just came out and went TikTok and the whole place erupted. It was so cool. So he'd been doing this in the opening act each time

and this was the first time he came out on stage along with us, and one of the reasons that he was there out on stage with us this time was because, and this never happens, we can talk about this, his parents were in the audience of this actual show. We can talk about this. We can talk about it. Well, he said we could. We asked Neil just a half hour ago, we called him and said, is it okay if we talk about

the fact that your parents were in the audience? Even though we talk about it in the show proper. He put us on hold. He talked to his parents, talked to his pastor. His family? He threw it out to Twitter? He put on the time to the cloak, cloak and pretended he was the timekeeper and then asked himself. But now, this never really happens.

We've all had the experience of our parents or our loved ones coming to see us in a show. And how often would you guys say that you do well on those particular shows? It's very rare. My parents came to a show we'll probably talk about later. And I felt that I was censoring myself. You feel a little in your head. Yeah, I was just very aware of everything I was saying. I felt like I was just like, oh, you're watching the show through their eyes almost while you're doing it.

It's very hard to do that. It's very hard. It's very difficult to do well when someone who's important out there is out there. Yeah. And. Your parents, someone from backstage west. So Neil's parents were there, and I've never seen this before in all my days, but he gave the performance of a lifetime. It was like something you would see on the Kennedy Center honors or something.

It was like he was performing for the president or something. He destroyed so hard that the three of us, I think, just retreated and just started like setting him up. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You know? For sure. Yeah. It was so much fun.

There was no point trying to do. Trying to top him or anything. He was just like off the top of his head coming up with these amazing nuggets. that were slaying the audience. And the entire time I was sitting there going, I can't believe his parents are watching this. I was so happy. I was like,

I can't believe they can see how meaningful Neal's character is to all of these people. It was just like one of those things that never really happens. You can always like say to your parents, oh, yeah, I do a podcast and yeah. And they go, huh, people like that, huh? You know, that's at least my parents would be like, oh, you're going on a tour, huh? And people will pay for that, huh?

Oh, weird. My mom just listened to an episode of my podcast, and she was like, that was really funny. I really liked it. And I was like, I've done 85 episodes. You've never listened to one. She's never listened to any podcast. My parents will... I'm like, what?

You loved it. Great. Fucking listen to one. My parents will watch... You're why I have to do this. Not that I, like, want her to listen, but it was just like weird. She was like, that's pretty funny. I'm like, yeah, I don't know.

I spent a million hours doing this. It's like one of my main things in life. What do you want, man? My parents will watch... Don't be so surprised, God damn it. My parents will watch the television show, but only tell me when they like it, which is maybe once every seven. Right.

So you know they've seen every episode. That's not bad. It's very important to them. My mom, to her credit, like it's very upset if any get deleted off the DVR. Oh, that's cute. But they will only say, hey, we watched that, uh, the, you know, the blank episode. That one was really good. And then they also tell me they usually watch it shaking their heads.

going, this is too weird for us. The last thing, one of the last things my mother ever said to me before she died was, have you figured out what you're going to do with the rest of your life?

Oh my God. That's hard, that's to me, it's similar, but not, not equivocal. That was true, but it was supposed to be funny.

Yeah. I feel bad. No, don't feel bad. I feel bad now. Well, we pity you. Yeah. But that's nothing different. Do you guys really pity me?

Yeah, of course. Oh, thank you. we care enough to pity you. Thank you. We think you deserve more. I don't mean to say this story as a topper because certainly nothing could top that. But it's sort of equivocal that I was, I recently maybe about a year ago flew up to San Francisco. Judd Apatow did a panel talking to a panel of comedians for Vanity Fair.

And I flew up there for one night and did it. And, you know, Vanity Fair was very fancy. Annie Leibowitz took our photos. You don't have to tell me. Is that going to come out later or is it already? Oh, it's out. It's out already. I'll see that picture.

Well, come by my office. I can't go online. That was, Scott's writer. This picture must not be online. It's only in my office. It's the only copy. Usually when you do something like that, they'll send a car. They'll send a town car.

They send, I believe, a limo, right? So I'm in a limousine by myself. And the limo driver is talking to me. He's like, oh, so what do you do? you know, obvious of like, who's this fancy guy that I'm picking up? And I'm like, oh, I'm a comedian. He's like, oh, really? Well, what have you done? I was like, I have a television show. It's called Comedy Bang Bang. He's like, oh, yeah, I've never seen it. I was like, well, I do these things between two ferns. He's like, uh, I go, he goes, who's been on that? I go,

well, Zach Alfenakis from The Hangover. Have you seen him? I think so. We just interviewed the president, President Obama. And he goes after that, he goes, well, you'll make it someday. And I just wanted to go, I'm in a limo. And being driven by you. And I just told you the president was on my show. Exactly. I've had that too.

I was in like a car going to some job. And then like the person's like, what do you do? I'm an actor. I was like, well, good luck. I'm in the car going to a job. Like I succeeded at this point. Like when you have a job, you're, that's good. Which by the way, you were recognized a few times and there was one that was very,

I hasten to use the word cute, but it was a cute. It was adorable. I don't remember this. The subway in the middle of nowhere, I believe we were in. Oh, the subway sandwiches, yeah. The subway, we stopped. I was thinking of like the subway train. We were halfway between cities, and we got off on a really, really small town,

and went to the, found a local subway sandwich shop, and there were only, there was two people behind the counter and one of those person's friend was eating with her family and they had like a muffled conversation at one point. I was like, what's going on here? And sort of looking over at us. And then the woman who was eating there asked you where you were from and said, are you on orange is the new black? And they started screaming. They went crazy. I will say the only thing I remember from that is that you made fun of me relentlessly for buying you guys lunch as if that was like a big deal where I didn't think that it was a big deal. I understand it was only $20.

No, no. Hold on. No, hold on. Here's the story. We had been taking turns picking up the check. But I wasn't considering that my turn. I know. We had been, we had been.

That was a throwaway. We've been picking up the check at these huge dinners for each other. It was just so hilarious out of all places with what happened with these people going crazy. That that's like, guys, I got this. We knew you weren't. It was a funny thing to bring up of like, because it was technically, if we were taking turns, it was your turn. Yeah.

But we had each done like these dinners that cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Thousands and hundreds and hundreds. Okay. But yes. And then you sat down and said, guys, I got this for you and we're like. I meant it more so that we didn't have to each go through the transaction. It was more just like a time saving thing. We know.

We know. We know. Fuck you guys. I eventually bought a nice dinner. Yes, you did. Say that. You rubbed in our face. No, I didn't.

Where was that nice dinner? Where were we? That was one of the last nights of the tour. Portland. Yeah, that was good. Yes. That was great. You know, money is one of those things where your relationship with it changes so much over time, right?

When you're younger, you might think, hey, managing money just means don't spend too much. And then suddenly you're an adult and you've got bills, savings, investments, trips you want to take. And about 12 different places where your money is high. hiding. That's why I like Monarch. It brings your whole financial picture together in one place, your accounts, spending, investments, and saving goals. So you can actually see what's going on without doing all of the detective work yourself. And it doesn't just show you what you've already spent. You can set goals and map out bigger purchases to see whether you're actually on track before you make them. It's like having a financial advisor in your pocket, keeping an eye on the

stuff that you might otherwise miss, right? Write your own money story with Monarch. Use code freedom at monarch.com to get your first year of Monarch core half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code freedom. I feel like everyone has that one business idea they've casually thought about starting. You know, something you love doing, a random idea you swear could work, or a passion project. You've always wondered, can I actually make this a thing? the hard part is figuring out how to go from the idea to an actual business.

Now that's where Shopify comes in. Shopify gives you everything you need to get started in one place so you don't have to piece together a bunch of different systems yourself. Shopify's templates and AI tools can help you get a great-looking site up and running fast with no coding needed. And once you're selling, Shopify checkout makes it easier for customers to actually complete their purchase. And returning customers can even check out in a single click. Plus, if you get stuck along the way, Shopify's built-in AI assistant sidekick is there to help you build,

troubleshoot, and keep moving. Shopify handles so much of the setup and check out that you can spend more of your time on the part you actually care about growing your business. If you're ready to hear the of your first sale today, head over to Shopify.com slash freedom to start your free trial today. That's right, start your free trial at Shopify.com slash freedom. That's Shopify.com slash freedom. When we were kids, summer meant freedom. No homework, no teachers, no school. And as adults, summer still means freedom. Thanks to Mint Mobile's summer sale. Right now, all Mint plans are just $15 a month, even unlimited. So ditch big wireless and switch to Mint for high speed data and coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. I love how simple Mint makes switching. You can bring your current phone and even keep your own number. Now, I just signed up online. I got to choose between a three, six, or 12-month plan. And instead of dealing with an expensive monthly wireless bill,

you can get premium wireless for just 15 bucks a month. MintMobil took what's wrong with wireless and made it right. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's mintmobile.com slash freedom. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash freedom. That's it. There's no catch. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for $6.

months or $180 for 12 months, plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra, initial plan term only, greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy, includes up to 20 gigabytes hotspot, capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Seamintmobile.com. All right, we have to get... Oh, that night. I can't wait until we talk about that.

We have to get to this Boston show. We still haven't heard the first clip. Oh, no. In like 45 minutes. What are we doing? It's been 45 minutes. It has. This is the timekeeper.

This is the Boston show. Imagine Neil's parents are there and while you listen to this clip. Here we go. And then tell us what you think they look like. Maxwell. Tis I. Yes. Yes.

For those who don't know you and it seems like a lot of people out here are fans of yours, you're known as the timekeeper. Yes. I celebrate and observe the passage of time. And yet when we first met, I thought that you were a mythical creature of some sort. Oh, some would say I would. To a fruit fly, my life seems infinity.

But to a man, they would know that I am 32 years old. And you still have your V card. Oh, you're a virgin. I've been known to keep it about me. You're a virgin, huh? Yes. You never met somebody that you're interested in? I've met millions I've been interested in.

But none reciprocated. Oh, that's sad. That's sad. What is your approach when you find someone in which you're attracted to? How do you approach? I said, what's your favorite time? That's a weird way to start. You know, maybe you want to, like, you know, get up to a girl or boy, whatever you like, and kind of just say, like, hey, nice to me.

I think you're very good looking. Well, I'm sorry. I'm trying to follow the golden rule. Which is? Treat others as you'd wish to be treated. I wish someone would come up to me and ask my favorite time. And you've never thought about changing your approach even once? No, for when I find my love true, I shall know she or he is the one.

So you're just kind of keeping it completely open. Yes. That's great. Till my soul merges twixt another. I mean, it's sweet. You don't know the gender of someone that you may have a lot in common with like that. It's true and wiser words ne'er been spoken.

What about the other timies? They were all interested in time. I speak not of them anymore. Okay, okay. They turned on time in a way I would never. All right, all right, all right. We don't have to talk. Oh, okay.

Oh, all right. Tears, tears form within me and plummet forth. Your tears are falling within you? They form within me. Oh, they form. I'm sorry. I can't quite keep up with your Shakespearean speak. Tis very normal, think, sigh.

All right, that was amazing. Congratulations to Neil Campbell for, I don't even know what you guys were playing in that, but we just heard it, so obviously we do know. I don't remember. I was someone. Someone. I was Big Sue, I want to say. I can still in my mind, yeah, maybe we were Werner and Big Sue again.

I think you might have been Werner and Big Sue and, like, this was the second part of your romance. Yeah. I can see Neil kicking his legs. Like, he was pretending he was so short for the stool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I looked really funny. Which maybe he was. He wasn't pretending.

I don't know. Well, Neil, for everyone who doesn't know, is two foot five. Oh, he grew. He's all head. All right, let's move on. It's two feet long. Let's move on. Five inch torso and legs.

Let's move on. Speaking of performing in front of your family, hometown hero, Paul L. Tompkins. Creed. Philadelphia, Freedom. Hello. I will say that Paul, we were just talking about how you seldom perform really well

in front of family and friends, but then the next night, we did Philadelphia, and you did great in front of your family. Oh, yeah, you were really good that night. That was a fun, fun show. And I had, all my brothers and sisters were in the audience

and a number of old friends were there. It was, and then people I didn't realize were there. A couple of my cousins came to the show. Did they tell me they were going to be there? I saw them afterwards. I was delighted to see them. It was a really fun show. I love playing my hometown,

and so it was wonderful to, to be there with this show and to have it go so well. And we sort of made it a longer show than usual because I just, we wanted everyone who was there to get their fill of you. That's a weird way to say it. But, you know, to get enough. Oh, they got it. To get enough of you.

That's what people told me at the mean green afterwards. Like, I've had enough. I really got my fill. But this was one of the long, this wasn't the longest one we did, but it certainly was one of the longer ones where we were just like, you know, yeah, let's keep going. Let's keep going because your family was there. You were playing J.W. Stillwater. This is the first appearance of J.W.

That's right. And Michelle Balloon. Our old friend was there. She happened to move to Philadelphia. So you'll hear from her on this. And then, Lauren, you're playing Tracy Rorden. Is this the first time you were playing Tracy? I think so.

And we had a sentiment off at the end of the show. That's right. I also wanted to do that because of the hometown aspect of it. Yeah. So I believe you guys planned out. Was this the only time J.W. and Tracy were on the show together, the entire tour? I think so. It must have been.

Yeah, it must have been. We decided to do that in advance, but we didn't know that we'd do a sentiment off. This is a safe bet, I guess. I mean, I guess, but you know what's... This guy at the home. I like the sentiment off because I really love not thinking about it until it's the time. Until you have to do it. How do you do, when you're doing a sentiment off, how do you come up with it?

Well, I think we have our own, we each have our own methods. I usually go like, if you're something, something, something, then that. And you usually go, like, take an aphorism that exists and give it a twist. And then fuck it up. Yeah. That's what I do. So listen to that show for the sentiment off. I don't believe we're going to hear that on this clip, but we are going to hear a clip about J.W.

Stillwater and how you like to entertain yourself on your fan boat, which I don't know what it is. Me neither. Let's listen to it right now. This is from Philadelphia. Do you bring snacks and stuff to entertain yourself on your boat? Snacks to entertain yourself. I'm wildly entertained by snacks. Scott.

Like here's what I do. Scott. I'll get a pack of Slim Jims out and I'll put on like a little play. And I'm like, we're going to do glass menagerie with this pack of luncheables. Hey. Oh, guess what? These animal crackers is going to be the gentleman caller. Um

Excuse me But I meant Twizzlow's Pull and Peel Ackin' snack for a wicked child I'm going to slap you How dare you Scripture proscribes Assaulting your elders What

If you want the transcript Send a way to Perales I honestly have zero Reckle I have no idea One of my favorite things that happened on the whole tour was on this show where I was, J.W. Stillwater, who's a vigilante hero, and he heard about a monster in Philadelphia. And I'm describing the mascot of the Phillies, the Philly Fanatic. Right. And Citizens Bank Park is the stadium.

That was the part that threw me, by the way. Citizens Bank Park? Citizens Bank Park. Because when you describe the monster, the image of the Philadelphia, Philly or Fanatic. Philly Fanatic, instantly popped in my head. But then something you said about a bank robbing a bank made me go, oh, I must have the wrong thing. Right. Because I didn't know that it was called Citizens Bank United. Is that what the stadiums?

Citizens Bank Park. Citizens Bank Park. And so there was this. Citizens United is something different. And I only knew what the Philly Fanatic was from third grade when my friend got lice and all of her stuffed animals were put into a bag. And I remember the day she got to open the bag again. And it was in there. A stuffed animal of that.

With a bunch of dead lice at the bottom of the back. So I'm doing this without saying what it is describing, because the idea... Just throw it away, people. Just throw your possessions away. Or burn them like the velveteen rabbit. Yes, exactly. Make a day of it. Or like Joan of Arc.

Yeah. She was riddled with lice. That's why they burn her. That's the part of the Joan of Arc story they don't tell you. That's right. Same with every witch. Anti-Vaxers. These social.

justice warriors out there. S. J.W. W. So J.W. Stillwater, the idea to me was he is misunderstanding this baseball mascot to be a monster.

To be a monster who's terrorizing. But then it became a different thing because you guys didn't immediately know what I was talking about. None of us on stage knew. Michelle had the probably, you knew. Yeah. How soon did you know? Why did you keep saying you didn't know?

For fun. But I think actually it was saying I did know. I remember knowing. I remember you kind of going, I think I know. Yeah, well, I wasn't fully confident. Let's do that. Okay. I thought I knew, but then your confusion made me doubt myself because I thought, well, if it's this obvious.

No, the dynamic was so much fun because the audience knew. Of course. Of course all of them knew. Immediately. And then once there was like the seed of doubt on the stage, it became so much fun. It was so much fun riding that thing. At a certain point, I locked in and I... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that was personally for me. That's happened to me a couple of times, I feel like, even on the tour where I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And then at a certain point, I go, oh, okay. Oh, it's happened to me with Scrooge McDuck, which O'Hankard. Oh, yeah.

That was really funny. Right. Where we're just like, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, okay, I got this. That was great. That was a really fun. beautiful theater as well. The Keswick Theater in Glenside, PA.

Mm-hmm. And that was a ton. That was 2,000 pounds of fun, I would say. Yeah, probably. Give or take, one pound. Yeah. Yeah, totally. All right, so we went from Philadelphia, and then we traveled by train to the District

of Columbia. Oh, and the train ride was fun. Yeah, you like the trains. You said that was your favorite way of travel. Oh, the Choo Choo Choo Choo. The Choochoo. The Choo Choo Choo Choo. It was fun and relaxing.

It's very simple. It's the civilized way to travel. I wish that there were trains everywhere. Me too. It was cool. Washington, D.C., our nation's capital. And we had a little time here. I went to get a massage.

Oh, really? Yeah. And that was really lovely. Was it full body? Was it Swedish? It was full body, baby. It was 90 minutes. I typically do 60, and I fell asleep during it,

and I woke with a start while she was on my feet. And did you go, who that? I said, who dat? So you usually have a 60-minute massage, much like Morley Safer or Leslie Stahl. Uh-huh. And then... Those people from 60 minutes? Yeah, man.

Got it. I mean, I can infer what you're talking about. What if he'd said Andy Rooney? I would have said, fuck yourself all night long. This is sort of like the pyramid here. That's what I was doing. What have you said it? Yep.

Because Dick Clark at the end, when people would blow it on the $20,000 pyramid, then he would go up. He would come up, give him a little massage, and then go, Andy Rooney. What does that mean? He would say, like, if they couldn't get a clue, then he would, he would offer, like, a better, after it was too late. Yeah, a better clue than the person gave. What if I said, screen door? Oh, mosquito. Oh, right.

Things that mosquitoes run into. I used to watch that show. Aren't they doing that show again with. Yeah, Michael Strayhand does it. Yeah, and he does it. He's a pretty good version. Is it celebrities or is it regular peeps? It's always celebrities giving it to regular peeps.

Oh, fun. Okay. I like that kind of game. They are sponsored by... Peeps. Peeps. I've been wanting to make our living space feel a bit more finished. And one thing that was missing was a good end table.

I found one on Wayfair that was exactly what I didn't even know I was looking for. It's functional, looks great in the space, and it gave me that little finishing touch I felt like the room was missing. That's what I love about Wayfair. I was able to find thousands of products across every style and budget, and the customer photos and reviews made it so much easier for me to narrow things down and find what actually worked for my home. I also loved that Wayfair verified products were hand-vetted by product specialists using a 10-point quality inspection. And with more than 20 million verified five-star reviews, I had so much feedback from other shoppers that helped me feel confident in the choices

I made for my home. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair apt for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B-12 to help support immune function, and coffee plus B-6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new Double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning.

Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on espresso.com. All right, Washington, D.C. You guys were very excited to get to Washington, and why is that? Because the prize. Yeah. Because we got to do our favorite, Jasmine and Sunny. You said early on in the tour, you said, let's save this for Washington, D.C.,

because Chasman and Sunny, these. radio DJs, they are only heard, excuse me, they're only heard in Washington, D.C. by the president. Is that right? Now, hold a second. They're of course heard in all of Asia. All of Asia. It's like a weird specific word.

It's very specific. All of Asia. Meaning there is not a square foot of Asia. It is not heard of. All of Asia and China or something. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. And Washington, D.C. for only the president. And his radio is broken on that. station so he can only listen to anything else. That's right. And he can't turn it off either. No. And we go all day and all night. So this was another one of those shows where we were asked if it is canon because it gets crazy immediately. Well, we found out that we're twins. Yeah. Our brother and sister, which we had never said before. I had, I re-listened to the episode

that we first did this and made notes. And, you know, the way that came about was Lauren and I, neither of us had anything prepared and then we said let's do something together and Lauren suggested radio DJs morning DJs and that was it that's a lot of times that that's what will happen on this show

is someone will come and go and just have a job and then we'll just figure it out from there and so we've never done anything together like that before and it just spun out into like so many crazy places and so I was making the notes

and it was making me even just looking at the notes was making me laugh so hard Because it's so, it's so crazy. I think I told you the story about how we did that on the TV show for the Calvin's twins, Taryn Killam and Paul Britton, where they were going to appear on it, but they didn't remember the episode either. Yes. So I had my assistant write down everything that happened in that actual episode and email it to everyone.

And when we got the email, we were just laughing at the absurdity of the things that were said, said in the dry mass. manner of just sentences. I don't know why it's so funny, but it's like it's so, it was cracking me out to watch to read it. And then we kind of talked about it that it was like, it was so much to remember. That was the problem with it. Yeah. It was so many crazy details that we said right from the beginning we go, let's not even

talk about the details. Yeah. They don't even remember them or everything. That was one thing that we were trying to say is anytime we're doing a recurring character, let's have their situation be totally different. Yeah. So that we don't have to go over those details again. Yeah, because it's like it gives you, we always have to have the right to rewrite these things.

And, you know, it's not like they were completely different characters, but we just gave them all these new, crazy, you know, attributes. Which works for Chasmund and Sunny because they're so insane. They're not people. And barely even remember. Well, and sometimes it's not as funny to repeat the things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just because, like, they're true about the character. It's not, it doesn't hit as hard if you're just, like, saying it again.

So if we were to do Chasmund and Sunny again, and I pray that we do. We did. We did do them again. You did? Oh, where? In New York. In New York. Okay.

Well, if we were to do them again on the comedy bang, bang, bang, plane, I would say that we would just. Wait, there's a comedy bang, bang plane? PLAIN. You talked about it earlier. Have we been here so long? You don't remember it anymore? Paul has his head in his hand. weeping at the fact he doesn't remember this callback.

I don't. I did not remember it at all. We've only been here two hours at this point. You're like, there's a plane? Why do we take that damn train everywhere? I was like that. But if you were to do it again, I would say that I would ask you about, so you guys are brothers and sisters and you guys would just go, no, we're not.

Like, you were just crazy that day you were talking about, you know? Yeah. So that's what. That turned out not to be true. That's what happens on this very early You're established as brother and sister Just off of a riff, which is very funny And I believe I'm asking about your birth

Let's listen to that This is Washington, D.C. with Chasman and Sunny. Wow, what a fascinating life you guys have lived. I mean, I say life because it seems almost as if you've lived the same life. I mean, have you ever done anything different? Seems so hard to remember a time when we weren't working. I mean, we've been doing the radio show for 40 years.

Right. We're so linked. What were you like as children? Did you guys know each other as children? Uh-huh. Yeah, of course we did. Yeah. We were born in the exact same day

in the same hospital at the same time. That's right. Out of the same pussy. Yeah. Yeah, we're... Did we not tell you that we're brother and sister? Okay. This is making way more sense than why you guys hang out so much together.

I'm sure we must have mentioned it. No, never. We must have mentioned it. Not a wit. No. Never. Sorry. Your brother and sister, your siblings.

Yeah. I mean, that's like usually the first thing we tell someone. I can't believe this hasn't come up before. I mean, we have the same last name. What's your last name? Say it together, please. Clangman. Clangman.

Yeah, Clangman. Chasman and Sunny Clangman. Wow, so you're exactly the same age. Yeah. You're, you're... Well... I'm a minute older. That's right.

What did you say? I'm a minute older. You're a minute older. You said you came out at the exact same time, though. Well, you're just rounding off. I mean, you're not, yeah, you can't give us a minute there, Scott? Look, I mean, do you really, you think a woman's capable of that? Meaning you are you? Two heads coming out at once. What do you know, Scott, about the female anatomy? You tell us everything. I mean, I saw, detail. We're very curious. I saw, paint a picture for us. Tell me, what's it look like? I saw a video on the internet where there were two things going in at one. So I...

What were the things? Projectiles. Projectiles. Rocket ships. Oh, yeah. So I just, you know, I don't know. Maybe it's possible if twins were to come out. I mean, also, you know, one could come out down there and one could be taken out, you know, of a C-section at the same time.

Oh, well, that's really innovative. For someone who really wanted their twins to be exactly the same age. Yeah. But that's not the case with you. Not our mommy, no. No. No. She didn't want to carve up her body just to prove a problem.

Point. She sounds like a beautiful woman. What's her? Oh, she's gorgeous. Our mother. She's still with us? Yeah. Yeah, she is. I miss mommy. I saw someone backstage. Is that possibly her? Of course it is. That's our mother. She comes everywhere with us. Do you want to bring her out here? I mean, I would love to meet her. I can't think of anything. I would love to do more. Bring her out. What's her name? Matilda. Matilda clangmer? Klangman. Clangman. Uh-huh. Okay, let's get her out here. Matilda Clangman, come on out.

Oh, hello, my little child. Oh, hello. She talks just like Mrs. Doubtfire. I'm very, hello, hello. I'm sorry I can't make my voice any louder, but I'm a whispery old lady. You're going to, you can't talk any louder than this? That's it, Scott.

I'm very elderly. This is as loud as I can. impossible get. She once was being attacked and she tried

to scream and her vocal cords snapped. Really? What happened to, I mean,

did the attacker go through with whatever they were trying to do? I was

attacked. He, I was, he, it's okay, Mommy. He, he painted my

face with house, house paint. He painted your face with house paint. Eggshell. She looked gorgeous.

It took her back to her miming day. She really did look good. She looked like a porcelain doll. Yeah. Beautiful, mommy. Well, gosh, Matilda, it's so nice to meet you. I don't know that I'll be talking to you that much. It's so hard to hear you. That worked out.

But please stick around. I may ask you a question every once in a while. I will stick around. Okay. Mother, just sit over here and try not to exert yourself too much. You know, she's in her early hundreds. Yeah. Really? 103, yeah.

103? Yeah. Wow, that's terrible for a temperature, but great for an age, I would imagine. I think it's pretty rough both ways. It is. 103 is also our station ID. Really? Oh, 103, coming to you live all day.

Do you change it according to your mother's age? Yes. It's a very expensive process. That's something else that put us in debt. And then we have to hire a man to go change the president's radio station to a new channel. That's right. He will not fix that knob. Nope. Well, gosh, it's, you know, such a pleasure to have four such interesting people out here on the stage.

Yeah, four. That's right. I almost hate to introduce a fifth, but we do have another guest. Oh, well, we love it. We don't care. It's like I'm talking to Icona pop here. We don't care. We love it.

Oh, fun stuff. Insane, insane, insane, insane. Where? In the membrane, of course. Thank you for narrowing it down. Insane in the membrane. Neal Campbell in the membrane. Yeah, insane.

No brain. Neil Campbell also was on that show, mainly for the reason that he was doing his character, Rick Faber. This was in Durham. No, no, this is in Washington, D.C. No, it was in Durham because, wait. Because Nick Faber was in the audience.

Oh, maybe that's where he knew Rick Faber. I'm getting the Rick Faber story wrong. He did Rick Faber because his friend Nick Faber would be in the next. Rick Weber. No, no. Nick Weber, who I know, he came to the Durham show. So I guess I was thinking that. I knew it.

Other than both of you. I was thinking that he did it in the show that Nick would be at. Right, yes. But I guess not. No. No, now that I remember it, he saw Nick the next day and said, oh, I did Rick the night before. He did it because... Why would he do that?

Why didn't he fucking do it when Nick was going to be there? I think because the character knows a lot of Washington, D.C. references or something. Oh, yeah, because he was talking about all the streets and stuff. I don't remember it. Because Neil used to live in Virginia, anyway. He was like, he was scoring big off of some local references. Some local references. It was amazing to bold.

Amazing to bold. South America. All right, let's move on. Meaningless to me. Next up was Durham, North Carolina. Durham, North Carolina. Now is the time for Durham, North Carolina. We drove down.

We did. We stopped at a wonderful little lunch spot. Yeah, we did. And it's right. Neil picked up the check. And now the... Now that was a meal. Shut up.

Pricy. Now, a lot of the hubbub about North Carolina and people, you know, performing in Carolina, has it died down? It feels like no one talks about it anymore. Yeah, well, we have bigger fish to fry, it seems, at the point. Yes. But as of this recording, America is over. Yeah.

But at the time, the bathrooms were, the problems. I mean, there's still a huge topic of course. It's just gotten pushed down in the feed a little bit. It had probably died down a little even by this point in terms of, like, not a lot of people talking about it, and Bruce Springsteen. had canceled his show, and I don't think Pearl Jam maybe had canceled their show yet,

but there was a lot of people, you know, asking me in particular, like, hey, are you cancel? And even more people saying, please don't cancel, please don't cancel. Well, I just don't really understand that mentality, like canceling. Like the people who are going to these things,

well, maybe a Bruce, I don't know, like our show at least. I think for someone like Bruce Springsteen, it's an economic hit to the area. Yeah, because his show is so huge. There's a lot of people that stand to make money off of that show coming to... Vendors.

Oh, I didn't get that. Not only just the building and the promoters, but the vendors, the, you know, all of the people, you know, the taxis, everything going to it. The goal is to fuck over as many people as possible. Well, the goal is to say... Not just to say I won't perform.

To say to the city that big things like that are not going to be happening in this state. If you support this. If you support this. So that's why they're talking about the basketball all-star game being relocated. I really didn't get that. That's what it's all about.

Whereas for our show... A lot of people don't get it though. A lot of people don't. For our show, one article that I read beforehand was saying, if you're a smaller group, you know, if we had released, hey, we're not performing there, no one would have cared. It never would have been picked up by the media. It would just be mean to the fans. It would not be an economic hit. And most of our fans, I believe, although I'm certainly surprised by that sometimes, are relatively progressive people who don't agree with this law.

So why punish them? They've already paid for their tickets. They would be probably, I don't think if they got refunds, they would be getting their service charges back. So, you know, it just became clear and clearer to me as the show approached. And I talked it over also with several people in the LGBTQ community. What do you think I should do? Neil's parents.

I talked to it over with my pastor, Neil's parents. Neil dressed up as the timekeeper. I asked him. And they all encouraged. just to do the show. So what became clear to me is we should do the show, try to shine a little light on the issue, and then also donate some of the proceeds. I say some of the proceeds simply because, you know, we had to pay everyone to do the show.

But I took all of my proceeds and donated to an organization called. I'm looking around and no one knows. Let's be good people. I don't recall the name of the organization. It's something like Carolina cares or something. I can't remember what it was. But in any case, so that's, it was on everyone's mind. I sort of felt a little bad about discussing it so much on stage.

Like, you know, people are just there to have a good time. Yeah, but you know what? I think it was cathartic for people in a lot of ways because we did, we, you know, we made humor out of the, out of the situation. And people knew that our hearts were in the right place and what we were, how we felt about it. And the people, I was very touched by the people after the show. And an angel. That come up.

Delores. Now, I was touched by Delorese after the show. In my butthole. What if Deloress went around, stick your finger in people's buttholes, and then saying, you just been touched by an angel. I think that would be the classy move. Was she an angel on that show? I don't know.

Whoever watched it. No, I think she was. I was more of a highway to heaven, man. She was the angel. No. Roma Downey was the angel. But then Deliace might have been an angel as well, or maybe she was the Victor French of the show. She's AIT.

She's AIT. But the people that came up to us after the show saying thank you so much for being here. Not canceling. And saying, like, we don't, you know, that's not us. That's not all of North Carolina. Please don't think that of everyone here. Most people there are just shit wherever they want. Yeah.

When I was there, I went exclusively in backpacks. You shit in backpacks? Yep. And left them in suspicious locations. They didn't have a sign on them at all. I took a shit in a briefcase there. Felt classy. Well, during this show...

I won't tell you the combination. During this show, Paul, you were playing Mike the Janitor, and you wanted to play Mike the Janitor in order to shine a little light on this issue. Yes. So I could talk about it. Shine a light. That's a song, right? I think.

It's got to be. It's got to be. You figure it out. You figure it out. Wait, is it in? You figure it out. Pajama game. With the pencil and a pen.

You figured it out. Wait, shine a light is in Philadelphia Freedom. I think that too. Shine a light. Isn't Shine a light also a Rolling Stones thing? And it's also a wolf parade song. Uh-oh. Also, it's in the national anthem, probably.

Probably. Also. Shine a light! It's what people say when you need to find something under your bed. That's right. People say, shine a light. Shot a light down there. Josiah, shine a light.

Shut a light. Get your torch. Get your torch. Get your devil's torch. Shut a light. I can't find my med alert bracelet. We'll find that dildo. Just shine a light down there.

Shout a light. It's in the dishwasher. Find the dildo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that dildo. It is up. Your butt. All right.

So you were Mike the janitor in order to talk about how you didn't want to clean, you were, you were, uh, trying to organize a boycott of, of cleaning bathrooms. But it was mostly because he didn't want to clean bathrooms. Those are the stinkiest places. They're the worst. Uh, and then. That is true, by the way.

Yeah. Then Lauren, yeah. You're playing Amanda Calzone, whom. She was an Italian woman. Right. She was a girl who studied abroad in Italy and claims to have been from there. Right. And so we are going to hear this clip, uh, talking where, uh, Mike,

Jander and I talk to you, Amanda, about certain things and your experience abroad. So here we go. Hello, Amanda. It's so nice to meet you. Bonjourno. You're Italian, but you, uh, English? Yeah, I speak English, yeah. You speak English. Yeah, I totally speak English. You're, I have to say, your accent is great. Oh, thank you. Sounds very natural. Thank you. Yeah. I've worked on it a lot. Yeah. But yeah, I'm from Italy. I go to college there.

What part of Italy do you reside in? Where did you grow up? Benicia. Venice. Venice, yeah. I live in Venice. That's where I'm going to school, too. Really beautiful canals and shit like that.

So it's, yeah. Sounds beautiful. Yeah, it's fucking tight. It's so fucking tight. You have such a great American accent. You're using the idioms of American slang. Flawless. So do both of you.

Well, we're American. You're American? Yeah, we're from America. I'm so sorry. Oh. So that must have been fantastic to grow up in Italy. I mean, the pizzas. Fantissimo.

Fantissimo. Yeah. Yeah. What were you going to say? I said the pizzas. The pizza, yeah. Really good. pies with sauce and cheese.

I have a friend who's very into that style of pizza. Any cheese on there? Yeah, I get cheese on it. Sometimes in meat. I don't know, maybe pepperoni, sausage, yeah. You have a lot in common with this person. Really? Yeah. I've seen her around the streets over here.

Maybe we should bring her out it. Maybe at a certain point. I'm not from here. So I'm sure I don't know her. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, what a beautiful country. I've never been there myself, but the fountains.

Oh my God, gorgeous fountains, really just like amazing architecture. Like, everything's beautiful. Like, I mean, I fucking love it. Like, it's just great. Like, I've, like, been in school for like six months now and it's, like, going really well. You've been in school for six months? That's great. Yeah, yeah.

Where did you live before that? What part of Italy did you live in before that? California. Yeah. Yeah. California is not Italy. Right. You know that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I lived there. I'm from Italy, so yeah. Pretty much the past is like a distant memory, so... So you're not strictly Italian. I live in Italy. Right. Where are you from?

Where am I from originally? You said you're American? Yes, I am American. And where do you live? I live now in Los Angeles. In America? Yes, that's right. Right. Okay.

Yeah, but I was born here so that, that is. why I'm an American, not because... Right, okay. I don't understand. Are you making a point or am I making a point? Yeah. Man. I wish I could figure this out, but I am fucked up.

Oh, I miss... I really miss Italy. It's really hard being here. I just miss, like, all the comforts of home. From home? Okay, you've been there six months. What comforts are you talking about? Just like the clubs and the guys.

I just really... I really miss them. Like, they're so great. There are clubs and guys here. Oh, my God. It's not the same. What's the main difference between clubs and guys? Start with the clubs, then move on to the guys. The clubs in Italy, they're really dark and full of music. We play this Italian artist, Beyonce.

She's incredible. And, like, the guys, I can move on to the guys? You want to do the clubs first and then the guys? Yeah, well, you started with the club. So obviously next would be the guys. I'm going into the guys. Yeah, next is the guys. The guys there are just like really amazing.

Like, they just know how to fuck. So, like, it's so different. So. Oh, yeah. You're here with a couple of American guys who you say don't know how to fuck. What are some tips that you would give us? Move your body.

Like, American guys are like cold fish. Oh, yeah. And Italian guys are like hot fish. Like, so, like, wiggly and stinky. I love it in Italy. I miss it. I miss it. Don't, please, please don't cry.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What are you saying? Oh, no. She's saying, oh, no, in an Italian accent. It's the same in both countries. Some things are the same, yeah.

Yeah, it's true. Right, yeah. How much Italian do you actually speak? I'm fluent. Okay. So if we threw some phrases at you? From there. You would be able to translate them?

Of course. Can I give you some phrases to translate into English? What? Like, you're from here and you speak English. Like, I'm from there. Of course, I speak Italian. It just feels rude for you to even, like, suggest that I might not speak the language or the place I'm from. Okay.

Well, we'll just give you some phrases then. Okay. Okay. So do you have a phrase, mine? Hi there, I'm from Italy. Belavishim. I'm going to go to... Oh, that seemed a good deal longer than the information I was...

Plus, I never heard Italia in there, which is... That's true, which I believe is... Italian words are really long and beautiful, so that's why it was longer. And I didn't say Italia, because if you're really from there, you wouldn't say that. What do you say instead? Abitzi, Avizi, avizi, what I said at the end. Avizi, Avizi, Avizi, Avizi. That's like slang.

Slang for Italy. Yeah. Are they the only country that has a slang term for their own country name? I think America has slang terms for their country. Or you say the USA, I guess. Like the dumpster. That's very rude. Especially to a janitor.

Yeah, that's true. That was Durham. And by the way, one thing about the Durham show, should I talk about the end of that episode? I don't remember. The end of the episode, I said, talking about it. about the dismount, that's our show, was happened to be on a laugh of a joke that you didn't mean to be necessarily.

Oh, yeah. You didn't mean it. I didn't mean it any which way. I can't actually remember what it was. I just remember that it seems like I was racist. You were talking about your Asian boyfriend and we somehow... Oh, and then you were like, what's his dick like? And you were trying to get me to say something offensive.

And then I did unwittingly. Because I didn't even mean. to. I was just saying whatever it came to mind. And that became the end of the show, which was, we should have continued after that. But I wasn't thinking about what it sounded like when I said it. Anyway, so apologies.

Thanks for reminding everyone about that. But then the end of our show came after we did the meet and greet and lovely people and getting back to someone saying something weird to us each time. I think no one's had anything weird to us at the Durham one. It was just like lovely people thanking us for being there.

And then we wrapped, We wrapped it up and we all started walking back to our hotel, which was a point zero to my next door to the theater. And one of the ushers walked with us, happened to be walking to his car as we were walking and like strolled up next to us. And for some reason he was Swedish or something? Yeah. And he said. For some reason. Well, probably because he was born.

Right. But why in Durham? We didn't know. And he said, hey, guys, nice show. And we said, thank you. and he said, I mean, it started off really, really slow, and I was like, oh boy, but then it got good. And then we went, what?

And he went, uh, just kidding. And then he literally jumped into the air. He did two car wheels. And landed, he turned into stars. He jumped up in the air, landed in a convertible sports car. That was his car parked right there. Vroom, vroom, screech! He was kind of like, he did carwheels in the air,

a piece of paper made into like art. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Animated? Yeah. Like an animated thing that where you just like move the paper. Like the Stephen J. Connell. Never mind. Whatever you're saying if it makes sense to what I'm saying.

And he was like revolving in the air very like stiffly. And then he fell right into his car. He fell right into his convertible. Whatever you're saying if it makes sense to what I'm saying. I will co-sign it if it makes sense to what I'm saying. I'm in the minority here where I think the guy genuinely was kidding. And he was referring to, there was a weird thing at the start of the show where it was delayed or there was some sound issue for when we started. No, they're giving him so much of it.

I am. I know. I am. There was a problem where they were supposed to play a prerecorded, like, warning to the audience about, like, I don't know, where the fire doors were or whatever. And it didn't play. And so we were sitting there in silence for like 20 seconds and then we just started the show. But everyone forgot that except that guy. It was such, I've never been slammed by someone who immediately got into a sports car and drove away after the slam.

Yeah, we felt like big losers. And there were no hoops to be found. Ooh, that's true. I remember we went to look for snacks. That was one of the saddest. You looked in every place we went. Well, so did you. We were also out of Marriott courtyard.

Yeah, but the little store was really. No, I bet you looked for hoops at every place. Oh, I thought it was a store every day. We had a snack ritual. I know. We would go into our chippies. We'd go to the little shop and get our chippies for the night. But I remember that that store was like really weak.

They had like condoms and like nothing else. It was like everything was really old. It was just all all condoms. Just like, we know what you're here for. You're here to fuck, baby. How many condoms did you? I ate a few condoms. They, I want to say swing gross.

They're chewing. That was the first member to stop myself from saying swimming gross. Wow. This is a record day. What if her mom listens to a second podcast? All right. All right. All right.

Let's move on to Atlanta. The Atlanta show. I maintain, this is our best show of the tour. I think this is my favorite. It was honestly so fun. I had a lot of family there, so I was really happy. At Atlanta, really? Yeah.

I had like 10 family members there, and it was really great. This was, I love the venue. This was, and I can't remember. Oh, it was the Tabernacle. Tabernacle. I had been to the Tabernacle 16 years prior where I saw the roots and Erica Badu and Taleb Quilli. And I always, and I was at the very, very back up in the top. And I always thought it was an amazing venue.

It was huge. It was like a wall of sound when we came out. It was so awesome. It was one of, like, because we played theaters for the most part. Every once in a while you'd have a theater. that was a little too much like a bar where they're doing like bar service. This was like a rock concert to me. This was like really made us feel like rock stars.

Yeah, I think it was amazing. It was one of the shows that I was really happy. My family was at because it was such an amazing crowd and like it felt so cool. It was electric. It just felt, first of all, we could see everyone and it's sort of in a horseshoe formation around us. Going up really high. Going up really high. Packed one of the bigger venues that we appear.

appeared at and one that we were like, oh, we can't sell this out. It's too giant. Nobody likes it. We'll never sell this. And then it was something like 1,800 seats in Atlanta, and it was packed and just really, and then the show was, I think it was the best show, probably my favorite show. First of all, Paul, you came out and you did a new character. Yes, I did the contraption air. New to comedy bang bang.

New to comedy bang bang. It was a character that came out of an improv from my show and then I used that character to do ads on my show and then I never thought of any of those characters going anywhere beyond my,

just the improv, you know. But we were doing so many shows. You were grasping in straws. I was desperate. I was desperate. You were like a rat trapped in a corner. I was ready to chew my own foot off to get out of that tour.

And so I thought this could be fun and let me try it. And that was a big step for me on the tour because I think that was the first new character that I believe it was. The thing I always came back to was J.W. Stillwater, which is a really fun character for me to do, came out of a live show that we did together, that L.A. Rite thing. The L.A. Wright. And I remember you saying to me, do you mind if I do a new character? And in my mind, I was kind of like, uh-oh, well, what if these people who are paying? don't want to see a new character, but then I went,

oh, I don't care. And so I said, yeah, go ahead. Well, it's like, we got to try stuff. Yeah, you got to try stuff. Everything is new. Well, yeah, you have to try it to become a new favorite. Yeah. I mean, would you buy a car without test driving it?

Yeah. You would? Well, then I have one outside for you. Yeah. I bet it's a real clunker. Well, you can't complain about it if you're not going to test drive it. I don't want to drive it. That happened to me and it turned out to be a cardboard car.

Oh, no. You had to carry it everywhere? Yeah, I still do. I had to rent a car so I can transfer in the back. Car I own. So this was the contraptionaire and new character just killing it. Boy, who are you? Were you?

Ho-ho? Ho-ho. This was the first appearance of Ho-ho. And a lot of talk. Do you like that shirt, by the way, the shirt design, someone sent? Oh, my God. It's very crude. I really like, I kind of want to look into it.

I think I know what you mean. It is. It is pretty fun. Like on Christmas sweaters. Yeah, oh, that'd be hilarious. All right. We'll look into it. You were Ho-Ho.

This is the first time you would sort of like portion out your favorites and give them to yourself yourself as a treat sometimes. Yeah, I felt like I was saving Ho-Ho. I felt like because I had family there, I wanted to feel comfortable. And Ho-ho also is hard to do. Yeah, and I was waiting to do it because my voice will get really strained. And I thought, oh, we had a day off after this or something. So I was like, I will be able to recover if I have blown out my voice.

And it was one you're comfortable doing in front of family because you know it really well. And so you're like, hey, I'm locked into a groove on this. Yeah, even though I know it's really offensive. They were fine. It was funny. That was a consideration that we both had. There were certain characters that it's like, I can't do this at the beginning of the tour because it could fuck me up for like a week. No, you guys were very dutiful about that.

I think weren't Chasman and Sonny sort of like that as well? We're dutiful. I think that Chasman and Sonny are actually pretty easy to do. Yeah, no, that one I wasn't too worried about, but I think we were saving it just because of D.C. And then that didn't come until a little bit later. Right. So also, we're going to hear this clip. The other person who happened to be in town visiting his family was Drew Tarver.

Another person we talked about Tim Bals. He's so great. From the Bajillion Dollar Property Show that we do on C.S. I didn't know Tim before doing that show, and I didn't know Drew. You guys knew Drew and you, you certainly did. You knew both of them. You knew both of them. I knew him from Chicago way back in the day.

Oh, okay. So I had met Drew once. And I knew Drew once. And I knew Drew well. I didn't know either of those guys, and I believed the first day of, well, at the auditions, I met them. And they're so funny. And Drew happened to be in Atlanta, and his family came to see him do this. And this is another one where his family came to see him destroy.

He crushed it. He did Donnie Gary, which is a hilarious character. And also, you can see Donnie Gary on the UCB show on C-Sov. And you can see Donny Gary on Comedy Bang Bang. in the back half of the season. Coming up a little later this year. It's really funny to see him. It really does add to the bit.

It does add to the, yeah. His physicality really adds to the bit. And yeah, this is one of those things where you go, wow, he, you know, he killed so hard. But at the same time, it is a pre-prepared bit with music. I did. It's hard not, it's hard to ignore that when we've been doing all these shows. Like, oh my gosh, he's so lucky that he has the same. He knows it's going to kill.

It's going to be getting a middle at an end. Right. It's so perfectly done. To his credit, though, he was improvving during the talking parts of it. No, yeah. Everything between the songs he was making up on the spot. Interestingly enough, when he's done it before, he's done it as just a short four-minute bit. And doing the comedy bang, bang,

TV show was the first time that he then had to improv as the character because he would sit down on the couch and, you know, be asked about his life. And so he had come up with a lot of that for the TV show, like the Pirates of the Caribbean stuff and all that kind of stuff. But then even on top of that, because there would be these, he would throw out these things, these crazy details of the character. And then we would be like, well, wait, how does that work?

And you can see it on his face. Yeah. Oh, uh. He'd have to justify it. And then he would say the craziest shit. It was so funny. So funny. So we're going to hear this clip right now.

This is Drew Tarver. is Donnie Gary, and we have Paula's the contraption error and Laura Lauren. Jesus Christ, how long have we been here? Laura Croft, the Tomb Raider, stops by. She's here. What's her name, Alice? Hey, Scaw.

Hey, I don't mind that. I like it. Scaw! Lauren, I was trying to think of who you were playing. Scars! I mean, it's fine. Lauren is playing hello. I know my name. Do I?

This is The Atlanta Show. Listen up. Yeah, I would love to maybe try out a couple of songs. on you guys. Oh, wow. Would the audience like to hear something like that? Wow. Quite an event. This is amazing. Private concert. Hit it, baby. Oh.

Girl, you know how every time you go to McDonald's, they charge you $1.50 for a soda? Well, did you know that if you hold on to that cup and you bring it back with you every time you go to McDonald's, you can have all the free soda you can drink?

I reuse McDonald's. cups, yeah, I don't ever pay for soda. I'm talking infinite refills on fountain soda. Yay! I'm exfanta and box root beer. Two sodas for the price of one. Yeah.

Thank you. That's what happens. People respond when you just transcribe your real life into music with no rhymes. That's a good idea. Thank you, yeah. I haven't had any water to drink in six months. because you have been drinking this free fountain soda. This free soda.

Do you notice the button on these that has like sometimes a W? Or it just says water? Oh, is that what that W stands for? Indeed. Yeah. Oh, shoot. I should have noticed that. Is that why your teeth are all brown?

Yes. Did you, they look like they've been colored with a marker. I'm currently color in my teeth. I'm trying to start a trend. Everybody's trying to whiten their teeth lately. And I know eventually it's going to come around and people are going to want nasty brown teeth. So I'm a little head of the curve.

You guys will have your brown teeth soon. Get ready. Wow. So how has this affected your life? I mean, you were one of the more rich entertainers in the world. I was, yeah. One of the more rich. One of the more rich.

Not the most rich. No, no. No one would say that. Not one of the richest stories. or richer, but one of the more rich entertainers. When you stacked entertainers up next to each other. Which I have done. Are we on the verge of a saucy story, sir?

One time I stacked all of Sly and the Family Stone, on end. When they were sleeping, and they did not wake up. It was crazy in the late 70s. Like a stack of pancakes or like on top, feed on top of heads. Feet on top of heads. It would be hard not to be... I had to get some scaffolding. It was one of my craziest pranks.

They used to call me the George Clooney of the 70s. And would they say, that teenager? On facts of life? Yeah. They would say, that guy's going to grow up to be an on-set prankster. They would call me that. Cool. Yeah.

Wow. Well, I am currently... It's funny you brought up... amusement parks. I am currently living inside of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. On the third left, you will see a gentleman drinking out of a bottle that has three X's on it in a repetitive motion and then cackling and pointing. That's me. What's in the cup? Soda.

Well, now, are you saying that you refill your plastic flagging at the McDonald's Then you transported to this triple X jug at the land? I refill the cup and I take it back and forth inside a ladies strollers. A ladies stroller. Yeah, it's interesting because you had mentioned you sneak in there. I sneak out in strollers as well. They just let anyone leave. Had you not noticed that?

They would rather you leave. I was not aware. I thought if you snuck into a place, also had to sneak out. Every gentleman must have his code. Yes. My gosh. So how is it, what is it like living in the Pirates of the Caribbean?

I mean, do you have to do that? It must be thousands of times a day. Yes, I do that constantly. Occasionally, I'll switch and I'll go be that man who's running around in circles chasing the lady. Do you just stand with your leg up like you're moving? Yeah. And then I put a stick up my butt hole. and it holds me in place.

A crude but simple contraption. One of the first in history. Wow, that, and so... That's one of the first contraption. When the first caveman saw a stick, he said, I wonder what if it went up here? I have to agree, I think that happened pretty early on. I would not be a bit surprised.

So that must not be the only change in your life, though. I mean, you live at Disneyland, which seems more trouble than it's worth. Because you have also said you sneak out. So do you act the pirate for the hours of operation of the park and then leave? Yeah. You should sleep in at the end of the day. Sleep there. No, I just stay there during business hours, and then I just stay there.

get the hell out of there. Where do you sleep? Currently, I am sleeping inside of a cracker barrel general store as a rustic scarecrow.

From your singing days? Occasionally some older women will be like, this, this scarecrow looks a lot like Donny Gary. And I'll go, no, it doesn't, and they'll run off. What are their songs about? Well, I'm happy you brought that up because I would love to play track three.

Yeah. Wow. It did it, baby. Chargers behind in their hotel room and the lobby collects them in a lost and found. Well, did you know there's no rules saying you can't lie? Chargers being yours. Mobile fall. No, my truck is quiet.

My gosh. Oh, so fun. Oh, so fun. That was fun for me. You had never seen him do this before, right? I'd never seen him do it before. It was killing me so hard. But it was like one of those things where...

Killing me so hard. With his song about McDonald's Cups. It was just... It's one of those things that was filling me with delight. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It was making me so happy. It was great.

Like not just making me laugh. When he would start every song, he would do that weird spin around. Yeah. I feel like we had a good ending on that one. I'm wondering if it was off of his big. It literally was he ended his last song and there is no, there is no way to do anything but just say, that's our show and the music just plays through our, of like taking boughs. There's like no better ending to that. It was very professional.

Real pro-ending. Very pro-end. All right. Speaking of pro-ends, this is the pro-end of this episode. Nice. Nice to dismount. We have to go right now, but we're going to be back and we're going to be playing five more clips in our. next episode.

A nest episode. Nest episodes. We play five more clips like that episode. We have gold, but that's clip as an episode. All right. We'll see you next time. Bye. Have you ever watched someone you love struggle with something really hard and had no

idea how to help them? I'm Stephanie Whittles Wax, and I certainly have. My show, last day, started with a question I've been asking myself. Ever since I lost my brother Harris to a heroin overdose. What could I have done differently? That's what my new book is all about. It's called Last Day, How to Stop Losing Our Loved Ones to the Opioid Crisis. I'm going to read you a little preview.

I hope you enjoy it. We hear about the opioid crisis so often that we've become desensitized to it. It's a headline, a political pawn, a collection of tally marks that stand where our loved ones should be. Overdose deaths in the United States can be broken into three phases. Doctor prescribed oxycontin, starting in the 1990s, heroin taking hold in 2010, and fentanyl, which surfaced in 2013 and spread like wildfire in 2016. The Sacklers, who owned the pharmaceutical company that developed, produced, an aggressively marketed Oxycontin may have lit the match, but our broken system allowed it to burn. Since 1999, this preventable tragedy has claimed more than 800,000 lives.

My little brother was one of them. Thanks for listening. Get your copy of Last Day at bit.ly slash last day book or wherever books or audio books are sold.