Threedom - Comedy Bang! Bang! 2016 Tour Best Of Pt. 3

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

While Threedom is on a break, here is a look back to the origins of the Pretzel Gang: Scott, Paul F. Tompkins and Lauren Lapkus look back at some of the favorite moments of the 2016 Comedy Bang! Bang! Live Tour. Catch CBB on tour now by going to cbbworld.com/tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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New season hits September 8th. 13th on Paramount Plus. Freedom! Freedom! Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here, and welcome to Threatom. And, you know, I'm not here with Paul and Lauren, but that's, it's not going to be like that for long because this is the last episode before we come back next week with a new episode of Threatom, episode 300, a milestone episode of Freedom.

We're going to be back next week with that. So what is this? What am I introducing here? well this is something very special that we are re-releasing to you while we prepare to have our new season coming up next week and if you've been listening for the past couple of weeks you know what this is but let me explain it if you haven't this is something called Comedy Bang Bang 2016 Tour Best of Part 3

this is the third part of something we've been playing for you over the past couple of weeks and basically what these are is in 2016 comedy bang bang, we went on a big tour and it was Paul Lauren and myself and we did every date together. And we had such a good time and they were so well received

that the folks over at Earwolf, our label, our podcast studio, said, hey, why don't you do some best of episodes where you play clips from these for subscribers and host it as yourselves? So we recorded all three of these episodes in one sitting, and it was the first time that Paul Lorne and I had been ourselves together on a

podcast. And these were the episodes where at the end of it, we said, hey, this was really fun. What if we did a weekly show with this kind of energy, where we just were ourselves in telling stories? So that's what you're going to hear today. A lot of people haven't heard these before, but I think you're really going to enjoy it. If you don't know what you're. what Comedy Bang Bang is. I'll just explain it. It is a fake talk show that I host as myself, and I have comedians on playing fake characters. Paul and Lauren play fake characters. They play different characters every single night. So you're going to hear clips from that, but mainly you're going to hear us doing these sort of proto episodes of Threatom. So I think you're really

going to enjoy this. Now, if you like the live clips, Paul F. Tompkins and I are out there on the road. Are we out there this week? I believe we are. Yeah, we're, well, maybe we might be done at this point. I have no idea. But we do have a show in Los Angeles on September 19th next week. And that's going to be a really big episode of comedy banging. So come on out for that.

You can get tickets at CBBWorld.com slash tour. And again, we're going to be back with a new episode of Freedom next week. episode 300. So please come back for that. And until then, enjoy this episode of Freedom. Comedy Bang Bang. Hey, everyone. Welcome back. This is a hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. I say hey. My life is still Trying to get up this Hey kiddo

Hey kiddo Hey kiddo Norris Jones Welcome back My name's Scott Ackerman We This is part three of the Comedy Bang Bang Tour

2016 Best of This is our third and final part I am joined here with my friends Paul F Tompkins And Laura Lapkis Hi I hate you very much Laura Lapcus

Scott Sky, Ackermoon Oh, I kind of like Ackermoon Oh, you do like it Yeah He's ungetable this guy The problem is he likes all his nicknames I love it

I don't care Oh oh Icona popped by the best I just Icona popped you We haven't talked about that yet That became a running gag Icona popping each other

There were before Scott shut up Before we get into the clips I want to talk Anyway Frank Drito I feel like saying something No la la la

We had many running jokes backstage that made their way on stage. With no explanation. With no explanation. The most famous being, and I think you hear it in, there's a clip coming up. There's a clip coming up. Check your paper. I'll wait till we kill. Stuff that no one would.

Pick your paper. Stuff that no one in the audience would know is an independent. I joke, but we're treating it like you guys know this one. And then it would get no response. There are many where we just be like, wait, what was the one? The biggest one was,

that sounds good to me. That sounds good to me. Which was really kind of a quote from Neil's opening. We were doing mostly when Mike was opening, and so there was no explanation. No one could pick up on what we were talking about. It was almost like, as soon as Neil left,

we started referencing it on stage. Because we miss Neil and hated Mike. Keep stand him. Honestly, I wanted him to just get the picture and go home. Drink bleach, Mike. Poo! You know? You know, Dennis Miller.

I don't know, something like that. A real smug. You know? Drink bleach, Mike. It was like a... Drink the bleach back. Drink the bleach down. It drinks the bleach down.

It drinks the bleach and I fuck it. It's like a silence of a lamb's cause me. Yeah. It drinks the bleach. It drinks the bleach. And then I fuck. And then I got a little ex and goes to sleep with it when it wakes up and doesn't know what happened. And drinks the bleach and I fuck it.

But pudding cup. Oh, wait. So, Neil did this bit that involved him saying. It was part of a poem. Part of a poem. And it involved him saying, that sounds good to me. Which made us laugh so much. We were all taken with it.

We were all so taken with it. We said it all the time. All the time. We would just like, there would be like silence in the car. And then all of a sudden somebody would just go, that sounds good to me. And we would laugh. And we all enjoyed it every single time. We also would try to fit it into just normal conversation about lunch orders or.

Or any time you would hear somebody say the word good or sounds. Your brain would just automatically. Or do you want to do that. We try to say it to waitresses like, I'll have the tuna melt. That sounds good. Good to me. And they hated it. So we started, it started insinuating itself on stage.

And it took me, I want to say like eight shows, because we did it every, every show would get in there somewhere. To know a crime. And no one would ever respond to it. Well, of course, there's no one ever getting that we're even repeating it from another show because they haven't necessarily heard every episode of a story yet. So it's like we weren't even creating it for the people listening. I'm going to say the very last show, maybe.

Somebody laughed at it. Someone laughed at like, you've been doing it every show. Yeah. It, like, forced its way into becoming a catchphrase. But it took me eight shows to realize, oh, that's right. These people have not heard this. That's why no one is responding to this. Oh, it was so crazy to me.

But then it made me like it more. I know, I know. And iconopopping each other became a thing. You don't really realize how often you're saying, I love it. Or I don't care. Or I don't care until someone Icona pops you. And, um, so. what we're doing on this episode,

we're not going through every single show. We're skipping a few. We're just going to do five more clips and talk about, but we will talk about the other shows. We will. We will. We'll talk about pop. I'm going to pop.

And we're going to recount the back half of the shows here. And for this first clip, we are in New York City. We return to New York City, the hotel with the balconies. And... Now, I have the list of the characters we do on the other news. New York shows. Okay, let's hear. Sure.

Let's hear them. Okay, so this was the, in the, where did I go? The first show, we had Rogue Wave as our guest. That's right. Rogue Wave, one of your favorite bands. It's true. And Paul was Reverend Parsimony. That's right.

And I was Natalie Scopopopopoli, who was a new character that I did on my podcast, but never on the show. And then the next show, we had Neil Campbell and Fran Gillespie as Wally and Tommy Cobb. And Paul played Andrew Lloyd-Webber, and I was Whitney Peeps. And then we get to the, oh no, and then the next show we had... This is the next show that we're going to be hearing from right now. This is the third show. We did six shows in New York. No, we're not hearing this one yet.

What? Then we had Mike Hanford as John Lennon, and then Paul was the ghost of Richard Harrow. I was taught again. And then the next show that night, Neil was the timekeeper. Paul was Sam Elliott, a new character to CBB. I wish you'd stop screeching. Me? So shrill.

So shrill. I'm screeching? No, it's just the cliche of what people say about women's voices. Fuck you. And then I was Regina Krimp, and then I was also Lisa Porch to come date the Timekeeper. I think on his last episode of Comedy Bang Bang Plain, we mentioned, someone mentioned leasing a Porsche. Like Lisa Porsche. I'd like to Lisa Porch.

And he said, Lisa Porch, that's a beautiful name. And we said, oh, Lauren should play Lisa Porch and me. him. And that was really fun. And then now here we are at the show. Here we are. Here we are in my paisley crib. Which one eat, Victoria. Ribs. Oh, I don't serve ribs. What? R-I-P. Rintz. Wow. That's from get-off. Um, all right. Two Tis. Two Tis. Literally, no idea. Also sung by Tudy. Tudy is my neighbor, is my, not my neighbor, my cousin's neighbor in Atlanta. What? Kim Fields. They live next door to each other. And she came, my cousin came to the Atlanta show. Why did she bring Tootie? Or he.

Two-D? She and her husband didn't bring Tutie because they can't form a relationship with her. I don't know. All right, this is the first this is the early show on night three. We did six shows in New York. We did a little mini-residency in a smaller theater. Do you ever think maybe we shouldn't have done that? Yeah, because it was exhausting. It was. Two shows a night for three nights in a row. Well, we said, oh, that would be cool. It would give us three days in New York, plus we had a day off before

and a day off after. So like five days in New York, that sounds fun. But then six shows in three days quickly turned into being... Immediately. Like, it really seemed like, because I remember looking at the schedule and thinking, oh, that's perfect, because we'll be in one place for this many days. And the idea of like, how charming, a smaller audience.

It's still 400 people that you're like trying to, you know, entertain and you have to do a completely new show for. Twice a night and meet everyone between each one. Yeah. So it was a lot. It was a little much. And getting shit face drunk every night. Well, you had to.

But I will say one of the good things about New York is there were a lot of people in town there who ended up doing, you know, wonderful guest spots with us. So you had Peter Sarah Finowitz drop by and John Gabris. I'll get to that. Hey. Don't take away her thing. In this particular show, our friend Bobby Moynihan dropped by with his Forval costume and ran across the stage.

It was really funny. The Ferville costume that they made for him at Bang Bang and that he took with him to New York. Oh, really? But with permission. He said, can I take this with me in case I ever want to do a show in case I want to do it if you're doing a tour stop in New York? And then he thought he lost it for this last season. And we were going to have to make him a whole new one. Oh, my God.

But he found it. So Bobby came by and did Forreville and Lauren, you're doing Harmony Moongloss, which you have... The Shaman. The Shaman, which you did on the Bang Bang Team. TV show. And Paul, explain your character, Cal Solomon. Cal Solomon was a character

that I did only for ads on my show. And he is a founding member of Seminole rap group, the Sugar Hill gang. He was kicked out before they ever did their first performance

or recorded their first song. Of rappers' delight. Rappers Delight. And he's terrible at rap. That was primarily the reason why he was kicked out. Is he terrible at rap? But he also, he's a complicated guy because he also made a lot of big demands.

Right. Before they'd even recorded a single note of music. And so he's very philosophical about it. He knows that he's terrible at rap, but he still thinks he could get better at it. He could get better. He's an optimist. And that's what a lot of your characters share, is there optimism? I think you're right.

So we're going to hear this clip where Forval, the poor little stabby orphan boy, and Cal, Solomon here, have a rap battle. And, yeah, that pretty much sums it up. So I think that sets everything up. Let's hear New York Night 3, the Early Show. Here we go. Harmony, since you challenged them, you decide who goes first.

The little one. The little one. That's me. All right, four of a little. Do you need a beat or do you want to just go, you know? I think I need a beat. You need a beat. All right, Ryan, engineer Ryan, do you think we can get a beat here?

Yeah, yeah. What? No? It's four of us, son. 2016. And I mean. I'll stab me with my motherfucking face, bitch. I'll kill your fucking parents and they'll steal your fucking hat.

I'll take that hat and I'll sell that hat. And I'll kill you and I'll kill you. Fuck him. Wow. That was a good rap. Keep the beat going. You want the beat? Keep the beat going.

Keep the beat going. Here we go, Ron. I agree to your terms. Have you ever been challenged to a rap battle by a tiny orphan with the knife? Burnette, you're hating you hard. And you're saying, oh my gosh, I'm worried for my life. You gotta say, hey, little orphan, don't you murder me with a plastic knife from a picnic? I gotta pick a knit with you.

I don't like to be murdered by a little guy. I ran out of words. Still. That was pretty tight, though. That was pretty tight. Still awfully tight, awfully tight. I guess it helps to have, like, music behind you. Yeah, you shook it off after the first one.

I wasn't planning on doing that with my 40-member rap group, but maybe I'll reconsider. All right, let's take the music out if we could. Wow, that was pretty impressive. I mean... Yeah. That was a thrilling rap battle. I was a thrilling. I'm sweating, too.

I'm a little sweaty from that rap bag. Are you getting squets? Oh, it's a squetting a little bit. I'm squirting. What? Love that. Keep your third eye open. Can I just say, I mean,

you guys both prove something here to me tonight. Oh? What's that? That you're both okay at rapping. And I think if you guys were to team up, you know, you both are looking for new members. What if Cal and Forval, you were to be in the same group?

Are you talking about a one million and 40 person rap group? One million and 41. Thanks for including me. You can call yourselves the Californville raisins. That's the best fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.

The Cal and Forval Raisins. Do you have to get raisins involved or like at least people if we're going to have to find some talented raisins? Of course we will. And we'll give out raisins at every show. Not the alive one. Keep them away from me because I'll eat them because I'm starving.

Of course you are. When you say you'll give them out, do you mean from the stage or there'll be like a box on everyone's seat? We'll make little gift bags. Every show. Yeah. Just a little bag about this big with a single raisin and then a bow. Everyone gets a raisin. That's the Calenforval raisins guarantee.

And one of them will be a crazen. And if you get that, you get to come backstage and fuck the both of us. Rap life. Oh, that's a little clip with New York flavor. Oh, you can taste in the water. It's better there. Only in New York. Did you do Big Sue in New York?

Nope. You didn't, did you? According to my document. She's from New York or where's Big Sue from? That's several really, but probably. Anytown, U.S. Coast? Yeah, any town East Coast.

East Coast. East Coast. East Coast. I like the big pies. And just to catch everyone up, on the last New York show we had, Peter Serafinowitz as himself. Taryn Killam as Zach Swassen, your agent.

And John Gabris, as you know, the intern, and then Paul and I were Chasmann and Sunny. So good. So rough. So tough. We went to Dallas. Can I say this about a little BTS behind the scenes? Sure.

I found it. I'm not, I'm no Neil Campbell when it comes to comedy rap, right? Like making up raps on the spot. Neil somehow, I don't know how it was great at it. He's fucking great at it. I don't miss this, but I would love to. He's great at it. He and Amy Polar.

They're both amazing at it, yeah. I find it very hard. Any kind of comedy song, I find it very difficult to improvise. And I can usually, if I get to one rhyme, I get to the first rhyme, and then I'm so relieved that I make a rhyme happen. That you forget, you have to do another one. I panic and then it's gone. Yeah. And so having a character who is already terrible at rap, it's like, great, no problem.

Until. All I have to do is just start. it and then get bad at it and then I apologize and feel bad. When we started, but I've, I never did it with the backing track before. And once the backing track started, then it became harder to be as bad at it as the character was supposed to be. Because you actually ended up being really good at it for a minute. Yes.

Like I actually sustained it for longer than I was supposed to sustain it. Yeah. It was crazy. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was terrible. Did I do, did I wrap during that part of it? I think I did. Probably.

Me too. I did a great job. Yeah. I was awful. Yes. So then we went to Dallas. We went to Dallas. Enough said.

Mike Hanford was John Bennett. Paul was Mike the janitor and I was Gregory James, the hairstylist. Oh, I loved Gregory James. I really enjoyed doing that character. I actually did it on my podcast first with Drew Tarper. He named the character. I heard that one. I've listened to it.

Oh, wow. Thanks. You were his mom. Yes. Yeah, that one's great. Seek that out. We're not going to play clips from. from everything because we'd be here all day, but Dallas was a lot of fun.

And then we went to Austin, probably one of my favorite venues. I've been to that venue, The Paramount Theater, a lot, watching movies at South by Southwest, and didn't realize how big it was, but just beautiful theater. Yeah, I love that place. What do we do on that one? We're not going to hear a clip from that either. Mike was Archie Butts. You were L.A. Peterson and I was Tracy Reardon.

The haystack salesman. The haste salesman. The hastex salesman. And what was Allie? Wait, I thought that was in Chicago. According to my docket stuff. Oh, I don't know. Okay.

Wait, wait. Archie Butts was the sound effects guy. He was a sound effects. Oh, yeah. And he designed E.T. or something? Yeah. He had the idea for E.T.'s color or something. Coffee colored alien.

I don't know. No, Minneapolis. He was Ian Bean. Well, maybe that's who that was. That's who that was. The E.T. guy was in Minneapolis. God, what the phone. I don't know.

Listen to it yourself. Let's, let's move on to Minneapolis. Minneapolis was next and I had a lot of family there. Coolops family was there. That was a lot of fun. It was a perfect time for me to be Pamela from Big Bear and berate you in front of them. Yes. Pamela from Big Bear is just an annoying person.

That's her primary... She's trash. She's a monster. She's a monster. She's scary. Yeah, but you know, I really enjoy doing it. Oh, I can tell. It's one of the characters that I'll leave the stage and be like, wow, I really like

tapped into some weird part of my brain there. And I really like it's because you're, you're totally unleashing. It's like you're just saying it's so primal and such it's all in. Whatever the nastiest, ugliest thing you can say to someone. Just like you give yourself permission to say that. It's really fun. Usually your characters have a little more like a modicum of decorum. We'll talk about the late show.

When we get to Portland, we'll talk about the late show. show and how Big Sue entered the late show. Yes. Pamela from Big Bear. The Pamela from Big Bear. Unless they be confused because they both have big in their names. They both have big of their names like the big fucking giant.

The big fucking. Roll dolls, big fucking giant. Oh, what a big fucking giant over here. Or is it the big fucking giant. Oh. There are a lot of like, line up ladies. There are a lot of think pieces about why did that movie fail.

What is your opinion? I think of the movie looked dark. Like everything in the trailer looked like it was in Shack. I feel like I didn't even see a trailer. I, Lauren, exactly. I didn't even see a trailer, Scott. I've not seen frame one of this film. It wasn't promoted.

I can't answer this question. I'm sorry. It's not promoted. All right, so this is Minneapolis. You know what it's fucking promoted the secret life of pets? Jesus Christ. No shit. I'm like, we get it.

There's billboards every two feet. It worked. Is it a huge smash hit? Yes. Did it beat Finding Dory? Yes. Oh, it should. Toldja.

I wish that would come back. She doesn't get to do Toljas anymore. I know, Nikki Feint. All right, Paul, but you're playing JW Stillwater again. Amateur crime fighter? Yes. I don't remember what his thing was this time. Nor do I.

Let's listen to it. We're going to hear this terribly offensive character, Pamela from Big Bear, and going to tell us all about her, a little hobby, I guess. Sure. This is one way to say it. All right, here it is. This is the Minneapolis show.

This is a person I met in a local bar here, and I didn't catch the name in case you ask. This is intriguing. I like to drink before a show, of course. You don't know. You know my damn name? I know your name. Pamela from Big Bear. Come on out of here.

Yeah, you know my motherfucking name. I know you know. Oh, kick your... I know both y'all know my motherfucking name. Oh, my word. My name Pamela from motherfucking Big Bear, bitch. Suck my clit. We're starting at suck my clit?

Oh, boy. I tricked your ass. I tricked your ass. Tricked? I tricked your ass. I got your ass to invite me on your damn show. and you know I'm a fucking hater

you're a hater I fucking hate your show I've been writing to you for how many damn years you've been on? Seven, seven damn years I've been writing to your ass You've been writing to me

Yeah, letters, long hand I've been writing letters on some legal pads, bitch from my motherfucking lawyer's office, bitch sucking my dang clit How, I didn't realize that was your catchphrase. I didn't either.

That's even worse. Sometimes you learn things on the fly. I was not aware of my damn self. So I must confess I haven't gotten your letters. I'm so sorry. Oh, you never got them. Well, you don't read your fan mail. You're too big for your fan mail.

It's not fan mail. This sounds like hate mail. Don't all go to the same address? No, it goes. She's got you there. What, your fan mail and your hate mail go to different addresses? Yeah, yeah.

How can you tell the difference before you open it? Because of the address that it gets sent to. Airtight logic, you got me there. Well, I find your show very offensive. You find it offensive?

I'm so offended by the language on your show. Ooh, baby. Ooh, I'm about to beat your dick. I saw your dick got beat with an ugly stick. Ooh, you got the ugly dick. Wait, so I now have an ugly dick

Oh, now you do. Because he was beaten with an ugly stick. Yeah, you betcha bitch. You got your damn offensive show with your offensive guests coming out here saying whatever the fuck they want. Ooh, I don't like that. Pamela...

I'm about to dunk your head in the toilet. Please don't. All right, because he said, please. I like when a bitch beg. Pamela, the show was relatively. relatively clean before you got out here. I heard y'all call me a Lisbon. No fucking Lisbon.

I like dick. I like it every which way. Where do you like it? Up down, the cross behind. Any direction, any direction of the cross, baby. Hey, hey now, hey. Sideways? Yeah, sideways.

I'll show you sometime. If you get a dick makeover. I'm so pissed at you. I'm so mad at you Oh, your show makes me so mad Every week I listen I just get so mad Ooh, I just put it on and I scream Why do you listen to it then if it's so offensive?

I need fuel for my week I got a bad job, you know Where do you work? I run a daycare Is this how you talk to the kids? I call fucking little piglets I feed them on the ground Throw some Cheerios in a pile

make them all dig with their face. First one to snort up a bunch of Cheerios gets a prize. I almost don't want to ask this, but what is the prize? They get to be the class vacuum. The class vacuum. Yeah, I put them in a wheelbarrow position and they just suck up all the dirt. Lucky little pigs.

I'm wondering why it was so imperative I mentioned you were from Big Bear. Because that's my name. Pamela from Big Bear's your name? That's my name. Pamela from motherfucking Big Bear. Uh-huh. And I am sorry.

Gilly. I am sorry. I am sorry. And I am sorry about Pam. I ain't going nowhere. You're the best man. Did you used to sing that when you were a kid? Like for real?

I loved that. I would have killed to sing that. But that's a song I just will sing around the house. Sure. But it's so fun. I wish I could sing like Jennifer Hudson. Do you sing it? Or Jennifer Holley!

Do you sing it to your dog, to your little dog? You always sing songs. And I am telling you, and she hides into the couch. Do you think dogs know if we have good voices or not? Um, no. I talked about this on the show recently. The fact that barking is dogs attempts to speak. And where did you hear this again?

Paul Russ told us that. Right. And where did he hear this? You never heard that? You have heard this? Barking is their attempt at speaking? Feral dogs do not bark and house dogs do. Because you say speak, but no, you're talking about something else.

House dogs do and it is their attempt to sound like us and go, Ra! I'm talking like that. Feral dogs don't bark? How do we know feral dogs don't bark? Because if there's no owner to hear it, did the bark even happen? Here's what I would say, I would say that feral dogs maybe don't bark because they do not, if they do not have a specific territory that they are protecting,

why would they bark? They might bark if they're at their, whatever their layer is out in the fucking woods. You don't think that they consider just even the perimeter around them as their territory? What if something's going to attack them? They're not going to bark at it? No, I don't think they're going to bark. That's where this doesn't hold up. I think they're going to bark to, I think dogs bark to frighten away a potential problem.

Sure. But if a bear were to come up to a feral, dog and it doesn't bark, does that mean that feral dogs don't bark? Why are we talking about this? I think dogs bark because dogs bark. I don't think they're trying to. Someone tweeted me that and John Gemberling that, yes, the study shows that that is what it is.

And John dismissed it. I also dismiss it. Okay. I don't think dogs, how come cats aren't doing it? How come cats aren't trying to emulate human speech? They don't have the ability, I believe. Or maybe they do. Maybe they go meow.

And that's them doing it. They do do that. They do do that. They do do that. They do do that. How about that? I want to talk. I want to talk.

I want to be like you. I want to be like you. Talk like you. All right. Let's move on to Chicago. So for the early show. Hometown heroin. Can you get off your list and maybe just live in the moment?

No, because I want to tell you what happened. And my camera was John Lennon, and we were Werner in Big Zoo. Okay, this is one of the aforementioned hardest days of the tour. And this was when my family was at the show. Your family was at the early show. All my friends came to the late show. My family came to the early show. Right.

This was the hardest day of the tour for me because when we were setting it up, a lot of times we'd say, oh, okay, well, if driving takes roughly maybe an hour longer than a plane, well, let's just drive. What you don't think about is like you're getting on a plane, just sitting there and don't have to drive it. You go to sleep, sleeps, leaps. We drove from Minneapolis to Chicago. It took six hours of me drive, a six hour drive for me.

We got there at 5 p.m. I had to do a meet and greet with sponsors at 5.30. So I just threw on clothes, got there. And from 5.30 until 1.30 in the morning, we were doing two shows and meet and greet. And so this was definitely the hard. hardest day for me. I sound insane, especially on the late show. It was really tiring. I remember being like totally sickly tired by the time I got to my room, but then I can only sleep for like

five seconds and I'd take a shower. Oh, you took showers? That's surprising to me. Why? Because I stink. Yeah. Shut up. Because your hair's so, your hair's so madded. Oh my God. Greasy. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, you guys. Your Chicago's coming up. By the way, your Chicago accent and got pretty heavy while we were there. Oh, that was the best. Is that your jacket? Is that your jacket?

At one point she said to us, is it your jacket? That was important. That was important. Well, ever since we left Chicago, you couldn't lose it. By the way, I was so tired when I said, is that your jacket? And I regret it ever opening my damn mouth. Is it your jacket? Is that your jacket?

Who is it too? It sucked. I don't know. I had some reasons. asking about it. We were leaving a greener or something. I was borrowing a charger and I wanted to know where to put it. Is it your jacket?

Oh my God. Is that your jacket? The bears? She pasted on a big tenta mustache. Is that your jacket? I hated myself then. Why? It's so adorable.

All right. We're in Chicago. This is the late show and Paula Thompson is doing another new. character. It was Captain Chesley Sully Selenberger. That was also an ad character from my podcast. And we really delved into him.

We really did. This is one of those times where I think we went on for a long time. I felt, oh yeah, I felt like we were out there forever. For me, it never felt long because it just, you kept spinning gold and I was like, oh, I could do this forever. I was fortunate with this one because the way I used to have, it was very important to me

when I was doing the ads for my podcast to, I wanted to have the ads be as entertaining as the show so that you didn't feel like you had to fast forward or whatever. And so I used to kind of put way more work into the ads. And then after a while, it's like, I just don't have time to always do this. No, you half-asset. Yeah, like you do. Yeah.

Oh, I don't even half-assies. So I want to put the amount of work into the ads as it takes in real time. just say them. Makes sense. I went back to the, there's a wikia for spontaneous nation that is mostly, if not completely,

maintained by someone named Marius Perkins, who listed all the advertising characters that I did and which episodes they're in. So I went and listened to all of them and realized, oh, wow, I have this whole backstory for this character.

So all the stuff that we talked about was stuff that came out of those ads. Oh, very cool. That I then, like, with Drew, I was then able to elaborate on with you. And I felt like that was one of those ones that I felt very good about. I felt like I'm on solid footing here.

And, you know, I felt like we can go off in any direction because at least I know where I'm starting from, you know. This also was the episode where I talked about on stage, just singing, take me to church over and over. Oh, yeah. That became a running bit where we would just try to make up new words to take me to church. A backstage bit. Yeah. And this is its first appearance on stage. Yeah.

Take me to church. I thought very successful. Very successful. Who did you play on this episode? I played Whitney Peeps. Whitney Peeps was back. And Mike Hanford played Calvin Redding, which was the Haystack Salesman. Yes.

That was the Hastack. Which was, he came out on stage with, hey, I'm going to be a haystack salesman. And that was it. Yeah. That was. And it wasn't like that was it and let's build on it. It was that was it. Yeah.

He's a hastack salesman who has, who, has allergies. He's allergic to hate. That was his whole thing. That was his whole thing. And that was just it. Yeah. And it was really funny.

A lot of people wrote to me afterwards because I, he, what he was describing. Oh. I had in my mind, yes. I had in my mind that a haystack was literally like a rounded cousin it looking things. Like a friday guy. Yeah, like a, like a friday guy. He's a fry guy.

But I did not realize, I guess it's been a while since I, I, I didn't, I didn't. realize that those round things, the sort of cinnamon rolls of hay of hay are also called haystacks. Yeah. Yeah. So we were, or maybe bales. Well, no. We were saying bales. I thought he was talking about hay bales, but saying hay bales, but saying haystacks.

Oh. And then we were later. I was giving them a hard time about it. Okay. Got the Smackdown from some tweet peat. The Smackdown. Tweet Smackdown. The tweet Pete.

Um, so we're going to, we're going to actually. Lauren said that and then had a look of panic on her face. Because I said... We're losing... The tweet peat. We're losing motor control. And I added a pee wherever I could. Tweet P's...

We're only going to hear from Paul, I believe, as Capti Sol and Soulburger. Capty. Oh my gosh. Captie Sol and Solisleber. This is... Captain Sully is going to tell me about his non-Arial interests. Non-Ariola. Oh!

Oh! I got you! Let's hear from Captain. Sully Sullenberger about his ariola. Anything else or was, is, uh, what more do you need to know about flight school? We've been talking about it for 15 minutes. Well, trying to give you.

I'd like to appreciate that. Try to give you breathing room. I appreciate it. You have such an interesting life. I could ask you so many questions about your past, but what I'm really interested in is your future. I mean, you're this hero pilot. You are a national celebrity at this point.

What do you do? Can you still fly planes or what do you do? still do fly planes and it's my pleasure to do so but uh i i am taking uh fewer and fewer flights because i'd like to start uh i'd like to start something new um which is i'm going to start uh i'm going to start writing writing fantastic uh so uh meaning a autobiography i would imagine about your life and that miracle on the hudson i think i actually did that already um i'm not 100% on that but i wouldn't be surprised sounds like something you would do it sounds like something i would do it sounds like something i would do, certainly. No, I'd like to write some fiction. I have an apartment here at O'Hare Airport,

and, uh, where's, I'm trying to picture it. Where are the apartments? There's only one apartment and it's mine. Oh. And it's right around United Gate 31. Is that the one with that Sparrow's? Shh. Okay. Don't blow out my spot. I'm going to start writing a series of mystery novels. Mystery novels? Yes, you know, I was inspired by the... That witch cackle gave me a flashback to that haunted house. You're safe here. You're safe here.

I hope so. See, I was... You know, one of my favorite authors is Dick Francis, who... He writes mystery novels that always center around racetracks and horses. And, in fact, I'm not sure about this, but he's very inspiring to me because I think he might actually be a horse.

I've, yeah. I've wondered that myself. Yeah, I mean, that's a theory. Because you always see a picture of a horse on his books. That's right. And you're like, did that horse write this book? Is he Dick Francis? Is he Dick Francis?

I mean, that's just a theory, but as far as theories go, that sounds good to me. That sounds good to you? Also, also, horse dick, you know? Horse dick. Why are you saying that to me? That's a clue.

That's a clue. Horse dick. So you're saying he's sort of hiding in plain sight. Yeah, it's like, he wants us to know. Well, whether he's human or equine, I am, I'm very inspired by him, and so I'd like to write my own set of novels that would be all. centered around, you know, murder mysteries that happen at the airport. Okay, so every person that dies would die at O'Hare or? No, not, no.

I think that would be very limiting. It would be, there's so many airports all over the world, so it'll always be a murder at an airport. Okay, so any airport around the world, how many murders actually occur in airports? I can't even think of one that I've heard of. Zero. It's not a place where murders are happening all the time. I would imagine there's a few attempted murders here and there. More terrorism than just straight up, you know, clue-style murders.

Right. Which is why I think this is a perfect setting because it hasn't been done before. Right. It must be hard to sneak a weapon in there. Like, you know. That's part of the fun. How did he do it? Or she.

True, true. Do you have a plot to one off the top of your head here? Well, plots are very difficult. Because, you know, with a murder mystery, you got to kind of start with who the killer is. Sure, and then work backwards. How is he concealing this from everyone? Right, of course. And so I'm at that stage right now.

Right. So you just, you know who done it, as they say. Exactly, exactly. Right. The hero is a retired airline pilot, and they bring him in for these murders. What is the retired airline pilot's name? He's got a fun name. It's very heroic sounding, but also with a hint of mystery to it.

His name is Charlie, Stilman, Stilmanberger. Charlie, Stilman, Stilmanberger. That's correct. That's correct. That sounds good to me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much.

So he sounds very dashing. He is. He's a man in his, I would say probably his 60s. He's got gray hair, gray mustache. Still wears his pilot's uniform. Everyone loves him. He's a real hero because he once performed an amazing water landing. They call it a water landing, but it was really, because there's no term for this,

he landed on the top of some lava of a live volcano. Not a single fatality, unless you count the 130 geese that he was able to kill. Wow. He killed geese. Yes, he's very highly regarded for his geese killing prowess. Right, right. So this is the hero, obviously. That's right.

Every protagonist. Charlie Stillman. Stilman Burger. Every protagonist needs an antagonist. Who done it in this book you're thinking of? Well, in the initial novel, and this is a bit of a spoiler, and much like in the airport bar gag scenario, I'll have to ask you, please don't tell people,

because I am about to reveal the ending of my debut novel. It was a wealthy businessman, was murdered by a goose. A goose. That's right. murdered inside the airport. That's right. You know, sometimes you're at the airport and a bird will be in there. Once maybe I saw a bird.

Right. Well, a goose is a bird. How did the goose murder this wealthy businessman? Well, I can't give away everything, but I can't say this. I can say this. You can say this. I can tell you this. It's not impossible for a goose to get a garret

wrapped around its disgusting webbed feet with enough slack to get over a man's head and around his throat and then if he just flies away in the other direction as quickly as possibly choke that man to death.

Wow. This sounds gripping. I mean, this is a real page turner. I hope that people find it so, and if they enjoy that, I really hope that they will be on board for more in the Charlie Stillman Stilman Burger series.

Because every single novel that I have planned the murderer will be a goose. Are the other suspects geese as well? No, there will be all sorts of people. People from all walks of life, you know, you'll have... Sure, a French person.

A French person, for example. A Roman Catholic priest. A pregnant woman. A ghost. A girl. goose. And Charlie's Stillman, Stillman Burger will go around interrogating all of the suspects. He will for a show, but he knows it was that goose. And the end of every novel, it's Charlie sitting down to Sunday dinner.

Guess what he's eating? A goose. A fresh goose. Wow. This is fantastic. I can't wait to read these. I hope you enjoy them. I can't wait until every goose is erased from the planet Earth.

Isn't all of nature, though, like checks and balance? Do you don't need? Okay, asked an answer. Look, Scott, I get what you're saying, and I think for the most part, that is true. But when it comes to geese, we have ducks. Why do we need them? I guess I haven't really thought about that. I mean, it all depends on what they eat, right?

You know, like if they eat things that... They eat the same things that ducks eat. I mean, who cares? Right. Also, these geese, they just have this burning desire to take down planes. I don't know what kind of God would create such a monstrous creature, but geese have declared war on us, and I say enough. It's time to wipe them off the face of the planet.

I'll do what I have to do. At the very least, I'm not going to make it easy for them. And so I'm going to hunt down every goose I could find. This sounds like a side hobby. We haven't been talking about this at all. You're also a goose hunter? This, Scott, this is something I feel very passionate about. I hate geese.

I can't abide them. And I feel that they must be eradicated. So, I mean, I am going to work on these novels. In your spare time. But my main focus is to instill fear. in the hearts of every goose on planet Earth. So you want to instill fear? Are you hoping they commit suicide?

I thought you were trying to kill geese. I can't realistically kill every goose, but if I can scare enough of them through, of course, murders, I'll murder geese, but also just shock and awe tactics just to frighten them, hopefully the word will spread in their stupid honking language. And the geese will tell other geese, hey, stop flying into planes because they're not taking it anymore.

They have a champion. And his name is Chesley Sully Sullenberger. Well, God bless you, sir. That is fantastic. Thank you so much, sir. Thank you, Scott. For your service. Thank you.

All right. That was Chicago. And that was people, our booking agent was at this show. he said you look more tired than I've ever seen you before at the meet and greet after this show. He told me I get uglier by the day. Yeah, he's not a nice man. He told me I want to rip your skeleton out of your scalp. Wow.

That would be so amazing to do that. Like by the teeth? What if you could grab someone's teeth? It's the earliest, it's the easiest access to the cell. Yeah. Oh, that'd be so sick. I would love that. That would be sick.

You're right. Sick, gnarly. I should write that into a comic book. Skate, skateboard. Skateboards. All right. So. Skate boss.

Let us, skate boss. Let's move on to now, after Chicago, we went to Detroit. That was a fun show, but we're not going to hear from that. Who were we in Detroit? You were cake boss. I was dinky little, the smallest or the oldest child actor. And Mike Hanford was Raymond Flopper. I'm not sure which one that is.

And I think wasn't that an episode. you kind of saved us with the end with the, with the dismount? I can't recall. Oh, I'd love to be credit for it. Was that the Denver one? It might have been the Denver one. I'm not sure. I don't remember. No, I think we had it. I think we didn't know how to dismount at the Detroit show. That's what it was. And instead we sang. Yeah, we did sing a song. We sang Hollywood facts theme song. Oh, yeah. Just out of de facto like, we need to end this somehow. So someone, someone, a very nice person suggested we sing the Hollywood facts theme song. Oh, because we expressed on stage. We don't know how to.

end the show. Yeah, exactly. I think the Denver show, which we then did next, right? Yes. Yeah, that was the one where you had the great dismount. Thank you. And sort of saved us because Paul abandoned the state. I don't remember.

Oh. Oh, yeah. That was a weird show. I was Frank Dorito. You were Charles Dumster, which was new to comedy bang-bang, and Mike was John Lennon. And you did a nutty professor thing. No, that was with Cake Boss. I did the Nutty Professor thing.

You did? God. You can see people that we have no idea. It's all a blur to us. The cake boss one was where Mike and I left. You guys left the stage. That was when I was dinky little. Then Mike and I left the stage.

Then I became, uh, wait, fuck it, man. Who cares? Anyway, we're not going to hear from that. We're not going to hear the Denver show. We're not. Then we went to Oakland. Actually, not going to hear the Oakland show, which Oakland has the distinction of being the worst hotel that we stayed at, I would say, by far.

Oakland overall, I didn't enjoy. Well, something about the Bay Area hotels. I have to say, this is my third tour. We've had bad luck. We've had bad luck. It's not even bad luck. I think it's, there must be a paucity of real estate there because. Oh, a posity of real estate.

It's the big words. Because, you know, we got a hotel that was more expensive than the ones we'd been staying in because that's all that was available and it was the worst hotel. It was very shitty. So it must be like you have to spend five times more than is reasonable for a hotel in the Bay Area to get anything resembling a good one? That could be the case. I will say that whenever I go for a sketch fest, I have.

I've never stayed in a bad hotel for Sketchfest. And I'm sure they have deals, you know, because it's like they're bringing so many people to town. I won in a little Tokyo is not the best. Oh, it's not the worst, though. Yeah, but I will say the one time that I stayed in there from Sketchfest, I went into the elevator. And I was like, oh, man, Bay Area hotels, geez. And I leaned on the railing and it snapped off. That was my first, my introduction to that hotel.

And then... You must have been very happy when it happened. Like, oh, see? It really worked for your bit. He had worked for my theory. And then it was the one where Adam Scott and I were in his room and we heard two people having sex next door. I love when I hear that. I'll just sit there and listen to anything.

Get tips. Yeah. How are they doing it? Explain where it's going. What if you started making your own sex noises? Like just sort of like, oh, oh, like imitating them as soon as sarcasticly. Yeah. Oh, it feels really good.

I would feel bad Fuck me Fuck me Me too I don't want to ruin someone's sex You know yeah Because you lose yourself When you're having sex

Like you're out of your body And then to be like Dragged back into it What if you enhanced it By doing really good sex noise There we go Then that's gonna work You're hired

You're hired Come make sex noises At our hotel Mom great news I got it Here limo drivers Like maybe someday You'll succeed

Oakland was it was a really fun show and a really great theater. And Tim Bolt's crushed it. He was Skip Dribbles. Oh, yes. This is where Tim joined the, he did the rest of the tour with us.

He did skip dribbles. So basketball comedian? Basketball comedian skip dribbles. And he kept talking about, you know, when you're in front of your crush. Oh, it was so funny. Yeah.

And you were Len Wiseman and I was taught. And we brought Tim on just because I knew, like, at this point in the tour, we needed kind of a boost of energy of like. It really did help. Just having another person to play off of was like... Bofa. Bofa.

Yeah. Boost of... Breath of fresh air. Breath of fresh air. He said boost. Boost of frankincense, all right? Boost of Frankenstein. A little bofa.

Then we went to Portland and Portland, oh boy, let's talk about... This was the hardest for me. This was the hardest day for me. This was the hardest day for me. Well, let's talk... Oh, this day was hard. I was so hard. This was the hardest day physically.

Although Chicago was really hard, too. Somehow. I feel like with this, we had a really fast turnaround. It was like a really late night the night before. Right. And then having to be up early. Well, we had to take a plane. Yeah, we took a plane.

We had to do two shows. Something about it. The other part of it was Lauren had to leave the second show early because she, oh my gosh. How difficult was this to do? You took a plane after the second Portland show down to L.A. to do an audition. In the morning I did. At four in the morning.

you left, took a plane, did the audition in L.A. and flew up and met us then in Vancouver. In Vancouver. No, in Seattle. Oh, Seattle was next. Yeah. So yeah, that was really hard because I, first of all, really didn't want to leave the show, but then I knew that if I did everything and the meet and greet, I would get like two hours of sleep and then be really bad at my audition. So you actually did do the show when you came out and we made an excuse for your character to leave, but that left Paul and I on. Oh, and Tim came out too, so that was okay. But, but, Paul, you and I had the experience of looking at each other on stage and recognizing in our faces that we had nothing left to say. I was so, I was so exhausted and I was doing Andrew Lloyd Weber and I, you were on, you were doing your thing.

I was doing my thing. I'm trying to think you were doing your warm up. Sure, I was doing my thing. But you must have come out first, right, Lauren? No, actually, I didn't because I felt that Pamela, well, I did Pamela from Big Bear and I felt that it would make, it would be better if I was playing off both of you instead of just. It's hard to like lay a normal ground. Yes, yes, yes. So you came out and did a good half hour where we were talking about how you got knighted,

which was really, really funny. And I was, that was the most I moved around the stage the whole tour because I was trying to make myself, I was trying to wake myself up. Yeah, wake up. And it wasn't working. It wasn't working. Those chairs were. The chairs were uncomfortable.

Everything about the tour, like we were on these stools. Our butts hurt so much by the end of the tour. So everything was uncomfortable. Speak for yourself. But you. Right, a little. Samantha? I love fucking.

I love fucking. I love fucking. I love fucking. Blinky, boingy, boingy, boingy. But so you did some really great stuff about being knighted. Pamela came out and then left. First word out of her mouth, suck my clit. Suck my clit.

Your catchphrase. Left. And then Tim came out and didn't really have a lot planned, I remember, for that character. Oh, no, that's right. His character was so. When he was Kyle Bennett. He was Kyle Bennett. He was Kyle Bennett, who was a guy whose child was missing, and then his wife was going to be very mad at him.

Yeah, that was what he was most concerned about. That was pretty much. And that was all there was. And we were like trying to, like, okay, what else? There's got to be more. There's got to be more. There's got to be more. I didn't know that.

Oh, my God. And we were just looking at each other like, what's? Try to listen to it. I will. I will. I will listen to it. What do we say? And this was, I never had this experience on stage in my life.

I've been doing this for a very long time. I was falling asleep on stage. Any time I wasn't talking, my eyes would just start to close. I'm like, you can't sleep up here. There's something about the adrenaline when you're on stage every other time you've ever done a show. I've never had that experience where I've been like,

there would be moments, I think throughout the tour, though, where I was so tired that I could be laughing really hard and close my eyes and like, well, it feels good. Oh, I'd like to do this a little more. I would get that thing, and I think we talked about this that if you laugh a lot, sometimes it makes you yawn. Oh, yeah. It was the worst thing you can do on stage.

And that was happening to me a lot, even when I wasn't tired. I was just having a good time. Still, I listened to this show back, and it actually is really funny. I'm glad. We're not going to hear a clip from that one. We're going to hear a clip from the early show. When things still seemed together. Yes.

And this was a new character. Let's talk about big chunky bubbles. Big chunky bubbles came about at dinner that night. At dinner that night. Because I wanted to do something different. I wanted to do something different because of the another characters that I'd done already. I didn't feel like doing any of them.

And then I don't know. It was in the menu. It was a description of something. There was like big chunky bubbles of something. Oh, it was a soup. Something to do with the soup. Yeah. It sounded really weird.

Or chunky bubbles. We talked about like a performer with who used big chunky bubbles. I don't know. And something about like we were like, if you had any guts, you'd just do big chunky bubbles on stage tonight. And you went, fuck you, I will. Yeah, we really forced it. That seems very aggressive.

Yeah, that's off-brand for you. I think it was, I like that phrase, and then I did the voice. Big chunky bubbles. Big chunky bubbles. And then we just said, okay, that'll be what you do. Yeah. And not a lot planned out, and it turned out, that's a highlight for a lot of people listening to this tour is big chunky bubbles became a big chunky hit. It was a lot.

BCH.H. That was one that I wrote up some beats, I think, on the way to the show and then, to them to you so you could be somewhat familiar with it. But it was, I listened back to it and I think that is the character that is the most antagonistic to you that I've ever done.

All of your characters got to be pretty antagonistic to me. But this guy right out of the gate, every question everything you say. It was almost like the mask that your other characters were wearing of being at least nice people. It just been dropped. Like usually the other characters get

exasperated with you. Sure. This guy immediately is taking offense at everything you say. Didn't we talk about that on stage at one point about like we just sort of lapsed into like a Laurel and Hardy or Abbott and Costello routine of where like I would say something stupid and you would be exasperated. It got very vaudeville after a while. But I also started to kind of feel like, oh, I wonder if who was the dumb person in Abbott and Costello? It was Castello. It was Costello.

I wonder if Costello started to genuinely feel bad about Abbott yelling at him because I sort of. Like, doing 20 shows in a row with you being, like, saying I'm stupid, sort of started to wear on me, like, slightly. To be fair, you're saying a lot of stupid things. But intentionally. But you know what else? One third of the time. But then what is, but I'm playing a weirdo.

I know. What am I supposed to do. Yeah, what do I care about? Anyway, but I start, it starts, like, you know how certain people, actors, when they're in a role of, like, playing an insane person, they start to go, oh, I felt insane. Or Jared Lido. Yeah.

You know, like, oh, I started to feel like the Joker, I'm sure he'll say. I think he already has said that, actually. Yeah. But, you know, that's where I sort of started to feel like, I kind of sometimes feel bad about this. I will say this. Not only did this tour bring us the most antagonistic character, but also the least in Cal Solomon, who never ever says anything bad about anyone. Yeah, that was nice. That was a nice change of face.

A refreshing change of me. Nice one hour of the tour. Lauren, you were playing Murphio Malamman. Yes, that's right. One of the kid detectives. We talked about this before. You weren't planning on doing her. And I said, I think you could do it without middle ditch.

Yeah, I think it, you know, it towed the line of being really offensive, I think, because the incest stuff works a lot better when you have someone to play off. So I do think that there were times where it was a little polarizing or something. When there's somebody else there who's also into it, it doesn't seem as bad. But one person alone is talking about, I have sex with people. My brother. I love it. I don't care. You've been iconopopped.

I got a conopop by the best of him. But yeah, that one was, it was fun to try, but I did feel that, oh, I wish Thomas was here because it would be so much sillier. We always wish Thomas was here. But he wasn't. Let's listen to it. This is the early show from Portland. Here we go. Big chunky bubbles.

Yeah. Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. Is it? It is. I'm fascinated by new people. Are you really? Are you going to question every single statement I make? Do you think I am?

I do. I'm not. Oh, okay. This is Murphy, Murphy O'Malleman. Oh, hi. Murphy's a child of nine years old. Yeah. I'm around kids a lot.

Not my favorite. You don't like children No, and they don't like me But you're a children's entertainer Yeah, it's the best I could do Meaning you wanted to be a regular entertainer Sure But kids with their ill-formed brains

Were the only ones who enjoyed you? That's almost seemed like a rude question But it wasn't, you have to admit I have to admit I think it's because my particular act maybe didn't capture the hearts and minds of adults. What is your act? I mean, you're...

My name is big chunky bubbles. But I mean, you're dressed like a magician. You have a suit on and a top hat and a cape. That's right. I create bubbles. You're a... You create bubbles. What does that mean?

Yeah. What do you mean? What does that mean? bubbles have to come from somewhere Eat them Not all bubbles before you ask that I'm not assuming you I don't want to hear like

Oh I was in a pool and I saw some bubbles Did you make those? No I didn't If you saw bubbles in the pool Sometimes you see bubbles in the pool Not uncommon Or in a stream It's usually when a fellow swimmer

Farts in the pool is when you see the... How rude. Of them, yes. Both you and that hypothetical person. So you make big chunky bubbles? I make big chunky bubbles. Listen.

Listen. It's not funny. Anyone can make bubbles out of soap. It makes me sick. I make bubbles out of various soups and porridge. That's why they call me Big Chucky Bubbles. Do the kids get to eat them?

Get to. They end up eating them. So let me get your process right. All right. Let's see how you do. You're hired for a children's party. Right. Because someone has seen my ad in the newspaper.

Or they've gotten one of my leave behind postcard. at a previous event. Once a month when I hire my skywriter, they've seen that in the sky. You hire a skywriter once a month. Once a month. What day do you do it? Do you do it on payday?

Do you have any idea how it works in my line of work? The skywriting or the chunky bubble line of work? I'm not a skywriter. I make big chunky bubbles. I get it. She gets it. Why are you teaming up against me? I'm mad at you.

I don't know, I don't get it. Well, there's not a payday. I don't go every Friday to the office, the chunky bubble office, and get my check. You misunderstand. I mean on people's paydays. So that they have disposable income. They look up in the sky.

Why would I make that leap? Hold on a second. Everyone gets paid, sir. Yes. On the 15th and the last day of the month. Yes. Yes, thank you, one guy. I'm right.

What about people have direct deposit people at? What about... Relancers like detectives. Or like chunky bubble artists. Are there any of those at... All right, I'm not going to defend this point anymore. Good. Because you're losing.

All I'm saying... Is that were I hiring a Skyrider? Right. I would hire him on the 15th because I know a lot of people get paid then. would hire me that day. They go, oh, I have a lot of money in my pocket. Right, good plans.

When do you do it? I hire Skyriders around the times when children's birthdays are most likely to occur. When would that be? Days of the... I would also hire a Skyrider on November 14th. Yeah, because their parents fucked on Valentine's. She gets it. Great.

Maybe a week before so they could plan it. Uh-huh. So, you get hired by these parties. Yeah. You step out on stage. Yeah, go in their backyard, their living room, wherever they decide to shuttle me off to. Shuttle you off, you're the main attraction.

Why don't they have a proper stage? For an artist of my caliber. No one has a proper stage. This place barely has a proper stage. Uh-oh, someone's going to write a blog about you. You better be careful. Got the giggles. So you come out, you come out on, you know, in,

I'm poorly introduced by one of the parents every single time. What do they, do they mess up your name? Are they? They mess up everything. They don't know how to be in show business. Can you show us how they introduce you? Yeah. Buddy settled out, settle down, settle down, settle down.

Jordan, put that down. Brinkly? Yeah. And they make all the kids sit down. They're yelling at them to the point of crying. That's not helping me much. Then they say, all right, here's the entertainment, everybody. Very special.

He's going to make bubbles. They don't even say my name. And they don't say that you're going to make it out of soup either. No. They should prepare the... So once you're introduced then, what is your act consistent? You have big terrains of soup? Terrain's?

Do you mean terene? That's my accent coming through. Oh, sorry. I didn't know you're one of the lads from Liverpool or one. Big terrains of soup. A couple crock pots of stew. So it's hot? How big are the bubbles that you're making?

Oh, they range in so. It's the exact same size. Give me a range. Don't be so exasperated with me. I'm interested in you. Well, thank you for that. Not a lot of people are. Watch your language.

I'm a children's entertainer, and there's a child here. What all that soup just fall to your mouth while you were talking? I keep deposits of soup in my cheeks just in case I get booked for a last-minute gig. Well, I was going to ask you, are you in a relationship, sir? Not anymore. Very sad. Oh, no. Sorry, I am.

You had a wife or a girlfriend? I had a wife. Well, first she was my girlfriend. Then she became my wife. So I've had both. What was she before she was your girlfriend? A lady I met. And before that?

Someone's child. There's a baby waiting to be born in heaven, I suppose. So she went from being someone's child to them being a lady you met? Yeah. In the space of how long? it takes for a young lady to start out on her own and leave the nest. But so she was never just a lady who didn't know you?

She only became a lady when you met her? Did you meet her on her 18th birthday? Hey! I just asked some weird questions and I answered that to the best of my ability. What does this meet the press with Chuck Todd? Okay, I'm sorry. So what happened to her? She died.

Yeah, it was a terrible bubble accident. What happened? One of my trains was too hot, and I was showing her a new bubble trick where I was going to make a square bowl out of some Campbell's chunky soup. Well, she was too close because she was always very supportive and she wanted to be right up center stage watching the action,

and it scalded her face so bad. bad. It went right through to the brain. That was some hot soup. I'll always feel bad about it, like William. I'm so, so sorry. Thank you. That sounds sincere. I'm so sorry. Gee, I'm sorry.

That sounds sincere, thank you. What do you? Okay. Look, I call. Do you have any, did you have any kids with her, or? Yeah, I got three kids. Three kids? Yeah. One, two, three.

One, two, three. three, Sesame Street. Your kids murdered my brother. No, I don't think that, no. No, no. Oh, okay. So you have three kids. That must be difficult to raise them

without their mother. It's the worst. I can't stand them. What are they like? No, they're very disrespectful. There's twins, and then there's the one extra one. Was the extra one born first or last?

Last. Oh, yeah. And it was sort of like, oh, what? And what are their names? The twins are named Bobby and Robbie. Why? That's very confusing. Why?

What do you mean? Well, Robert, Robbie is... Yeah, Robbie. They're both short for Robert. What? Since when? That's not... Their names are Robbie and Bobby.

Neither one of them is named. Robert. All right, all right. All right. Well, you're made. Making me upset. You're asking some very tough questions. You're getting upset.

I'm not making you upset. Fair enough, I guess. You've been to therapy. What's your other kid's name? Tag. He's the worst. Eight years old. I can't stand him.

And how old are your twins? They're 12. Yeah. And what's Tag's problem? and why would you call him tag? Because he was like extra. Like a skin tag? Yeah.

That's how I think of him. That's so sad for him. No, is it? He has a pretty good life. Why is that? Well, I provide for him. Does he have a race car bed? Yeah.

What? Yeah, he does. Lucky? It's sponsored by Dale Unser. Really? Yeah. Does it actually drive? It's no, it doesn't drive.

What's unusual is a race car to be sponsored by a driver that never happens. Usually the cars have corporate sponsorship. Not the sponsorship of a sole driver. I give this guy everything. What kind of mattress is on his race car bed? I'm glad you asked because I spare no expense. Well, although, did you spend a lot of money on the mattress? Well, truth be told, it was very reasonable.

But it's a top of the line mattress. Three layers of cooling comfort. Three layers? Three layers? Three layers of cooling comfort. One, two, three. My brother's dead inside a mattress. Well, that reminds me if you want to be dead inside a mattress. Our tour sponsor, Lisa Mattresses, there.

Thanks to them very much. But let me ask you, big chunky bubbles. By the way, do you have a regular name or is that your stage now? I do have a regular name. Of course. I wasn't born Big Chunky Bubbles. Ew. I just pictured you coming out inside of a big chunky bubble.

Well, I did. But that's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name. All right, dingtings. I do have a regular name. What's your regular name? People don't like it.

Hit me with it. Pidiamine. Like ediamine? An association of people's minds. It's one word? No, it's not one. Don't you know names work, you dumb kid? No, I don't.

Teach me, sir. Well, don't you have a first name and a last name? Yeah, so? So do I. I get it now. I'm here than I thought. You're smarter on the uptake than tag.

Well, I mean, you must be a very successful children's entertainer. No, I'm not. Why not? I mean, you sound like you have a very unique act. I do, but the parents all get upset because my act is so much messier than regular bubble performers. When it pops, it just scalds all of the children. Yeah, it's a bunch of soup. Yeah.

It makes a mess, even if kids aren't scalded. I always make sure the kids are far enough away. They won't get burned. by the piping hot soup bubbles. How far away do they have to be? Well, like, a good 30, 40 feet. Can they even hear your show? No.

I mean, they say they can, but I'm good at projecting my voice. Are you? Yeah. Why you down? Also, you were saying, I'll say to the kids, all right, here we go.

You ever seen a bubble inside a bubble? And then they start, like, saying something like, Shut up, shut up! I wasn't fish! You ever seen a bubble inside a bubble? Made of... Does every one of your questions end with made of soup? A lot of them do.

Some end with made of stew. So is your whole show just asking if anyone's ever seen a bubble made of soup and then you make a bubble with soup? I feel like that's very reductive. Well, I'm having a birthday soon and I want to know what your show's all about. Well, I make the bubbles, of course.

but I also have a lot of fun. Hey, why is everybody ducking under when they go back to their seat like there's a helicopter in here? It's very distracting. There's not a helicopter in here, is there? It's like an episode of MASH. Well, Murphy, you have a birthday coming up.

You're having a birthday party in the afternoon sometime on a Saturday afternoon, or when are you having it? Yeah, I'll probably have it on a Saturday afternoon after payday. Looks like my skywriting worked. Okay, let me walk you through the show. Okay. Here's what it is.

I get the terrible introduction from the parents. Well, from her dad, probably. Well, yeah, he's in the TV, and he probably won't talk to you. Most people can't hear him except me and my brother. Did you say he's in the TV? Mm-hmm. It's a whole thing. Have you ever seen the cartoon of the old prospector?

I guess. Yes, I have. That's my daddy. You seem troubled. It's just like Robbie, who's always like, I can feel another skeleton inside me. Other than his own? Well, they were supposed to be triplets. That's what the doctor told us, and then when they came out, they were just twins.

They were like, I guess he was wrong. But every once in a while, Robbie says, oh, the baby. of my neck, the base of my neck. It's like someone's trying to scream. And I'm like, can't I read the paper piece? New York Times? The Daily News.

You sing it? Is that your favorite song? I love that song. New York State of Mine by Billy Joe. Oh, so good. The Daily News. Some folks like to get away. You have a beautiful. voice. Thank you.

I sing at the end of my show. You do? What do you sing? I give these kids a good show. What do you sing? I'll sing the song of my own composition. Would you sing a little bit for us? I love to. Sure. I love to do my act for free

again. I close my show. Here's the thing. I'll walk you through the show. I come out. Terrible I'm an introduction from the parents. Okay, shut up, get out of here. I say the kids, move back, move back. I turn off the sterno,

and I get my wand, and I say, all right, all right. Who here's seen bubbles before? And everybody's like, and I'm like, that's good, that's good. It's a rhetorical question. They don't know what that means. You know what rhetorical means? You're not supposed to answer it.

Oh, look at this. Go to the head of the country. Class, child. Wait, was that a rhetorical question? No. Good. So you don't know what it is? I'm confused.

I was genuinely asking if she knew what a rhetorical question was, then she answered it, so it wasn't a rhetorical question. Exactly. I get it. That was a good lesson. You guys are driving me crazy. So then I take my wand, I dip it in a tureen. You use a bubble stick? Yeah, that's the one.

What's it shaped like on the end? What a strange question. I know a wizard who'd want to know. It's just round for bubbles. That would probably be better for him. Anyway, go on. Thanks. So I dip it in some soup.

What flavor is the soup, by the way? We haven't talked about that. Most of it's beef stock. Every once in a while It'll be an alphabet soup Very rarely It'll be a gazpacho You should use gazpacho

More The bubbles aren't as good I'll dip it in there The bubbles start forming I got smaller ones And I dip into a stew And then I make smaller bubbles To go into the other bubbles

Now sometimes I'll pull out a cigarette To blow smoke into the bubbles That's where the parents go crazy. I'm like, it's herbal, relax. Then I do all the bubbles. These stupid kids are like, so what? I want to play video games. And then I close with my song.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You forgot about my song. I was so into the show. Could you see it in your mind? Yeah, I love those stinky bubbles. Makes the kids hungry. Then they eat all their cake.

Wait, you're trying to get them to eat cake? Like, that's a problem? It's a birthday party. Yeah, but I've never known a party of kids who didn't want to eat their cake. The results speak for themselves. Okay, I don't know that you're having any effects on this. After my show, those kids eat that cake. K's closed.

So I close with my song. Your life is just speaking. my show and I've seen you down below oh boy you are due you are due oh be you yeah super fun super funny um the thing I remember about Portland was after the show uh Lauren you weren't there for this and I don't even know if we told you about this but we were getting into the our car we had rented a car and two people who worked at the show two ushers rode by on their bikes

and they said have a good night and we went hey you guys too thank you so much for your help tonight and they went watch out for bikes and then they drove off so it's all they really wanted to do yeah we're like

we don't need a lecture about watching out for bikes we're going to watch out for bikes like we always do I mean what? But it's like they couldn't like you know that bike culture they just can't help they just bite your tongue just a little bit longer. We had a pleasant interaction. How many experiences have you have with bike culture? Um, you know, well, you know how it is. Every once in a while they'll block

off the streets. I know how it is. You know how it is. Oh, you guys. But hey, it's better for the environment. You gotta be that way about it. Do you know that thing where people do those night rides where it'll be, you know, like a hundred people. Yeah. Yeah. And then they blend and they make people wait and. Or the naked rides. Ooh, I like this. Describe it in detail. Flaccid dicks on weird bikes with big bellies hanging over. Blah-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-pull. Put my face in the belly. Do you care? Do you care? Do you care? Can't finish? Can't finish?

But those things... La-ga-da-da-a. Then we went to Seattle. Then we went to Seattle, and that was a beautiful theater. The blues are calling to silence and scramblings. Quite stylish. I love this Seattle show. did we do in Seattle? Timbalt was Tom Borman. Mike Hanford was Peter Finn, who I think is the musical

character. Paul was Gary Marshall and I was Carmela Point, the manners. Here's, and we're not going to play a clip from this, but here's what Mike was doing. We were listening to the Fun Home soundtrack a lot. At least one song. We were listening to Ring of Keys over and over. You would always want to hear Ring of Keys. And then every single time you would talk about the little girl doing it on the Tonys and promise to send us the clip. someone knew there. There's always someone, Tim Bultz, got added, Mike got added. I never sent the clip. I never sent a clip to anyone.

I think you did. I think you did. Okay, maybe I did. Maybe to you. I never got that clip. Oh, no, maybe I did it on the group text. No, I probably did. I probably did.

So you wanted to hear Ring of Keys, but then... Yeah. Scroll back in those hundreds of texts. I wanted to hear, at the light, at the light, at the light, at the light, at the light, at the light, at the light, at the light, at the light, which has Michael Servius. Is that how you say his name? Surverus. Maybe it's Cerveris.

Michael Cerveris. The three-headed Hellhound? I don't even know what it is. Sorry. And I fucked it up on the tour, actually, as well. But it has him talking about Norris Jones, and that became something that we would imitate all the time. Norris Joe.

Hey, kid, Norris Jones. And so Mike did a character sort of based on that guy. We didn't know that's what he was going to do. We didn't know that's what he's doing. And he just came out and started talking in that rhythm. In that cadence, in derrhythm. In derrhythm. In the cadence of that character.

And, like, moving around in this really, like, stilted way. It was so funny. Theatrical kind of stilted way. But it was, like, being, like, a weird, like, stop animation. Like, sort of, like, taking his stand out there on the stage, saying, no. Like, these weird, exaggerated movements. Like, when he would walk, he would lead with his chest, like, sort of, like, throw his chest forward. Very theatrical, yeah.

Like, teetering on his feet. Like, he's going to. fall over. It was killing us because we knew what he was doing. And I think it was killing the audience in a way because they found our delight in it to be delightful. But I don't know how many of them understood what was happening. It just worked. It was really the craziest thing. It was definitely fine with me if no one got it as long as we did. Yeah. It was so funny. I think that was the night that I was, I had like, like not just wiping wait tears, but I had tears coming down my face. Yeah. I couldn't handle it. Also, you were just told that you're

Your uncle died right before. Oh, that's funny. That's probably what it was. All they remember were the tears. But, I mean, Mike kept the tears going. Sure, yeah. That jump started them. All credit to Mike.

All right. Then, finally, we got to our very last stop on the tour, which was Vancouver, Vancouver, British Columbia. And this, I like ending a tour in Vancouver. This is the second time that we've done this, actually. Oh, you do like it. Yeah, I did it the first year because Zach got married up there. And so... We heard all about that.

Oh, boy. God, he really told us all about that. And this was a cool show because our friend Dan Mangon came by and did music. Oh, my gosh. His music is beautiful. Yes. Did you get the O'Fortune record? Yes, and I have also listened to him on some other clips on YouTube.

covering some songs, some Robin, really good. Yeah, he's really good. And he came to dinner with us beforehand, super nice guy. He'd been on the show probably three years earlier. I had never heard of him, but his publicist sent me his record. And I went, oh, this is good. Okay, let's have him on. And this was early on in the day.

This is our old, old studio back by the pot place. And right across the street from the gym that Bill Carter, trainer to the stars, seeking stars works at. That's right. And he had never heard of me or the show. And what was funny was we kept in touch and I follow him on Twitter and occasionally he'll write to me.

And he wrote me the nicest letter probably a year ago, maybe a year and a half ago where he just was like, hey, man, I really wanted to say how people keep telling me that they're fans of mine on tour stops because of your show. And I just really want to thank you. When I showed up there, I didn't know what I was in store for. I'd never heard of you. And then Sarah Silverman was there and Nick Kroll. And I was quickly like, what have I gotten myself into?

And he just said, you're one of those rare people that I've met that just like kind of makes cool things for people. And I'm seeing the benefits of it. It was just a really, really nice note. He got that CBB bump. He got the bump. That's what I'm saying. I was like, you could have just said, I got the bump. Yeah.

Delete all these words. I'm right. I got the bump. Later, bitch. What's happening? Thanks for the bump. Bye, bitch. This is Pamela from Big Bear.

This is what we're doing. I got the bump. Oh, my tinnies. A bye bitch. Gotcha bitch. Gotcha bitch. Get that bump on you. That's from Bachelor in Paradise.

I believe. Gotcha bitch. Got you bitch. Anyway, so it was very nice. Anyway, he's a great guy. And when he saw that we were coming to Vancouver, he offered up his services. Blow jokes. We thank him for a service.

and he did some beautiful, first of all, he did a beautiful song, and then Mike was playing John Lennon, and they did a Beatles song together. Dan Mankin played in my life, right? Yeah. And they did a duet. I will. I will, sorry.

I remember that because it was a Paul McCartney song, as opposed to a John Lennon song. Right. So they did that together, and they sang it together, and that was a unique, cool, like, musical comedy moment. and this was the last stop of the tour and it was the longest show of the tour too. I just kind of kept it going

because we knew that it was all ending after this. Paul, you were playing. Santa Claus. Santa Claus and Lauren you were playing. Ho-ho. And you guys were both saving this for the very last night of the tour. First of all, because Vancouver's close to the North Pole,

was that part of it? I can't remember. There was a Vancouver specific part of it. I think we just thought it would be fun. Yeah, it would be fun to end it that way. I also thought there was a Vancouver specific. No, there wasn't. Sorry.

Because Vancouver's only in winter. Sorry. Sorry. Vancouver's only in winter. It's like Narnia. I think of what you mean. I think sure it's being snow-capped. But anyways.

So this was the last stop of the tour. And Paul, you pretty early, not pretty early on, but maybe a week earlier, you had said, hey, we should end the show singing Icona pop, which we had tried to fit into every single show. Which we did fit into every single show. I believe we did. Yeah. Maybe more so than the Lisa mattresses.

Oh. Oh, yeah. The Lisa, oh my God. By the way, if you listen to the shows about the Lisa mattresses thing, I did the first one and then I promptly forgot the next two. And I was like, oh, shit, I'm not going to be able to remember this. And Lauren took it upon herself to be the one to bring it up every single episode. I loved the responsibility.

And it was really fun to get to, like, lead you into it. So I enjoy that. Yeah. I would. My mind was just blank when I went out on stage. I would go, oh, I got to remember the Lisa thing going out on stage. And then, boop. It's gone.

It's hard to remember that kind of thing. Yeah. So Lauren was great about, you know, reminding me about the Lisa stuff. It was funny how as the tour went on, we all became very attuned to anything connected with mattresses. Yeah, anything about sleeping or a bed. That would make you go, bing. Here's a chance. Well, by the way, the other thing about the Lisa mattress people, we were just supposed to say,

hey, thank you to Lisa Mattresses who sponsored the tour. The end. Didn't have to do an ad or anything like that. It became very fun for us to do these. And they got to be very elaborate. Because we all know that copy. We've all read that ad copy a billion times.

And it's not like, and everyone has heard it a million times in the audience. So it's fun for them. Exactly. Yeah. So there would be things like if someone, like in the big chunky bubbles thing, I talk about my son's bed or something.

and you, and Lauren says, what kind of mattress does you have on that bed? And then I say, well, there's three layers of cooling comfort. And the whole lot is like, yeah. Because they know it all. Like they're hearing, you know, like the Rolling Stones go and to start me up or something.

So weird. Yeah. So that became very fun for us to do. And, you know, something that we didn't have to do for the, you know, it just was something we wanted to do. Lisa, no, I'm not saying it for them. I'm just saying it like, you know, it was fun for us to do.

So Icona popping became a thing that we did every show. And Paul had the great idea of ending the show with our tribute to iconopop. And I don't even think that you kind of asked us if we wanted to do it. And we were seeing each other so much that we didn't even get back to you about it. Oh, I, no one responded. I was so, I was embarrassed. I was like, oh, this is a dumb idea. In my mind, I went, oh, yeah, we'll do that.

Yeah, we'll do it. And I already knew the song. Like, I knew all the words. So I didn't really feel like I had to respond or anything. I was like, oh, yeah, we'll do that. Yeah. But the non-response to you. I, like, went and found all the lyrics and then copy the, all the lyrics.

There's five words in that song. And I, you know, put him into a document, and then I got the karaoke MP3. I feel terrible about it. And then I sent it out. And then no one responds. No one. Because usually a non-response equals a no. Or it's as good as a no.

But our non-response because we were with each other all the time is like, oh, non-response means yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? I couldn't. I wouldn't make that leave. But I mean, I wouldn't say no to that. But, like, if I felt like I don't like that idea, I might say something to.

Then we would have said something. Because I would not want it to happen. To me, it felt like, oh, we're, we're embarrassed for you. Oh, no. For us, it was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't even have to talk about it. Yeah, of course we're going to do that. Yeah.

So. But that's how much time we were spending together. Because when you get a non-response when you're not, you, of course, are thinking like it's obviously no. Anyway, so we decided to do it. And I'm so glad we did. It was the perfect end to the tour. So this is, This is what we're going to hear.

We're going to hear our last clip. This is from Vancouver. This is with Ho-Ho, Dan Mangon, John Lennon, Santa, and Randy Snuts. We didn't even talk about him. Randy Snuts is what Tim Bolt's plays. And here we go. This is the last clip from Vancouver. Well, guys, if there's been one sort of theme song for this tour as we've been going along,

it's been one song that we've sung in almost every episode. And I wanted to kind of take the time here at the end, just to close. close it out and sing our, sort of the anthem of the tour, if that's okay. I don't care. I love it. Oh, you do too, O-O-O. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm, of course, talking about Icona Pop's iconic pop song.

It's I love it. I don't care. Engineer Ryan, do you have that for us? I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone. I crashed my car into the bridge. I threw your shamed I threw your shamed steel a bag and pushed it down

the bridge Steel a bag and pushes down the You want me down on You're so damn hard to plead We gotta kill this switch You've run the 70s But I'm a 90s bitch I love it

I love it A lot Tompkins A legitimately good song It's a great song It's a fun song It's a good pop song That's a good song That's a great song

I didn't like that song. Was that he was okay? Oh, God. Guys, I want to thank you for joining me here, reliving. This is actually the first time that we've seen each other since the tour. Yeah. We were talking about that. So it's great to see you guys again.

I never want to see you again. After now four hours. Wow, I'm done. I got my fill. This feels like the tour all over again. This was like the accelerated version of the tour. experience. Right.

Exactly. This is like, yes. I feel tired. Scott, may I be sincere for a moment? Please. Lauren, will you allow it? Okay. I want to say thank you for inviting me on the tour.

This was not just a fun professional experience. This was a fun life experience. I really enjoyed it. It was not surprising to me how much fun it was, but it certainly had an impact on my life. I really enjoyed it. Thank you, Paul. I want to reciprocate and say, I am so glad you came on it. It was a wonderful life experience and I will treasure every moment that we spent together.

Lauren, thanks a lot. Hey! I also want to say thank you for including me and taking a chance on me and bringing me on the trip. It was really fun and it meant a lot to me. Well, we have some tour dates coming up. Honestly, they're going to say, well, we have some stuff for you guys. You're going to give us presents. A new car.

No. You'll get the presence of your checks coming, I think, in the next couple of days. And wait. Gonna blow it all. Hodor. What did you say? Can I blow it all? I thought I said, Hodor.

He says, I'm going to blow it all. He said, Hodor. Hodor. We do have some tour dates coming up. We have San Diego is coming up, and Lauren, you'll be there. Paul will not be there with us. Then the week after that, we have Montreal, and you'll both be there. Yeah.

We, we. And then we also have. Australia, four dates in Australia coming up in August. Crikey! Crike, mate. Got a hold a koala. You both will be there as well. Special guests on all of those shows, and they will all be up on Howl as well.

So listen to those shows when they happen. And guys, thank you so much for listening to the shows. You guys' involvement in the tour and following Paul and Lauren on Snapchat and writing us messages and listening to them as they came out. it really made it twice as fun for us and really felt like you guys were involved and just the enthusiasm you had for the tour itself

was really humbling and meeting you all after the shows was certainly a wonderful experience and I just want to thank everyone who came out and who listened and that's it we will see you in a little while in a little while

out on those cities I mentioned And until then, go fuck yourself. All right, see you. Thanks. Bye. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion dollar swings. The end of jobs or the end of human struggle.

We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. Have you ever watched someone you love struggle with something really hard and had no idea how to help them? I'm Stephanie Whittleswax, and I certainly have. My show, Last Day, started with a question I've been asking myself, ever since I lost my brother Harris to a heroin overdose.

What could I have done differently? That's what my new book is all about. It's called Last Day, How to Stop Losing Our Loved Ones to the Opioid Crisis. I'm going to read you a little preview. I hope you enjoy it. We hear about the opioid crisis so often that we've become desensitized to it. It's a headline, a political pawn, a collection of tally marks that stand where our loved ones should be. Overdose deaths in the United States can be broken into three phases. Doctor prescribed Oxycontin, starting in the 1990s, heroin, taking hold in two,

2010, and fentanyl, which surfaced in 2013 and spread like wildfire in 2016. The Sacklers, who owned the pharmaceutical company that developed, produced, and aggressively marketed Oxycontin may have lit the match, but our broken system allowed it to burn. Since 1999, this preventable tragedy has claimed more than 800,000 lives. My little brother was one of them. Thanks for listening. Get your copy of Last Day at bit.ly slash last day book or wherever books or audio books are sold.