Threedom - Donkey Quong

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss countries, a jewelry store, and movies before playing Hitting the Post. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Unlock every episode of THREEDOM and THREEMIUM, ad-free, on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/shop

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See Mint Mobile for details. Ho-ho-ho-ho. Mint mobile. Freedom! Talking about my old friend. It's a place to go where everybody knows that you can be a... Rusted. In Bruges!

In Bruges! Bust it. Chocolate. It. Infused. More things should be infused. I know. Have you been to Bruges?

I've never been to Bruges. I'd like to go to Bruges. The chocolate was bomb. It was beautiful. And there's swans floating through the river. I can go to the zoo for that. All I've ever seen of it was in the movie in Bruch. I did watch that on the way home.

On the way home from Bruce. Boy, you bruise double-dipped. I did. Wow. I love that movie. Yeah. It's a great one. I remember when we were coming back.

back from where where was our final stop in the UK last when we were there two years ago we first went to Scotland right that's Scotland then we went to Ireland then we went back no I don't remember it probably was was like Manchester or something I only wanted to watch stuff for like a from there couple weeks yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I didn't want to leave yeah Yeah. I know. Like English stuff and Irish stuff and yeah. I just wanted to see the places again.

Yeah. No Scottish stuff. Well, you know, we're going to see those places again very soon. I'm sad I can't go because I would really like to go there right now. I am too. Yeah. Wasn't it fun that we went to Australia together? That was.

I was just talking about that. I think about how crazy that is that we did that. I know. If you're from Australia, I know a lot of people always say like, when are you going out to Australia again? It's very, very difficult. Yeah. And it's not like we got paid really anything to do it. I mean, I was talking about that with Mike last night, actually, about that trip and how like, because before kids also, like, I think I was like, I could just do it ever fuck I want it.

I was out on tour for months. I was on Australia. I was just bopping around doing it. It was great. And Paul's like, and that's the life I've chosen. Now, hold on, I don't know. You've chosen to have a fun life. But you're not going back to Australia.

Australia. So how great is your life? I haven't been in a while. That is the litmus. Yeah. I would like to go back though. It's pretty much long time. I saw these split ends reunion shows that are only happening out there.

And I was like, I wonder if I could swing this. Of course I can't. Yeah. But I could. I'm not even that interested. Yeah. What if I went there and just, I sent you videos of me yawning after every son? I don't give a shit.

I know. I'm just here because I can be. I'm at the concert. I have great seats and I just have the camera on me. And you hear muffled songs of them. Is there anywhere you want a vacation to... It's a bad and take offense. They probably would do it, right?

They'll probably do those songs. Is there anyone anywhere you want to go to? What's the number one? You can't have already been there. I know you always like to Tokyo. Oh, okay. You can't have already been there. What's the number of?

one place that you want to go to check off the old bouquet list. Oh. Number one. I'm Paul. I'm Lord. Number one? How would we just name three?

Whatever. I've lost interest already. I'm trying to change my own question. I want to go where the people go. I want to go under the sea. I want to go. I want to go to

Greece. Yes. I go to Greece. Queen. Go off Cis. I want to go to Lithuania to see why family heritage. Oh, yeah. What would you look at gravestones of all your ancestors?

Yeah, at old farms and shit. And I want to go to, I would like to go to Spain. So would I. I go to Spain. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny. It's like there's so many places in the world.

Yeah. And you kind of get fixated on a couple. Spain? And then you forget there's like, there's so many places. It feels like Spain does have. Everything's interesting. Yeah. Except for a lot of places in America.

It feels like Spain doesn't have the vacation rep that, say, Italy or France. Barcelona. It does in Europe. Does it really? Yeah. Because it's closer. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I sometimes say it's so funny because like we went to Italy and we toured all of Italy. We're there for a while. But you feel like, God damn it, I'm all the way over here already. I should just go to all the other places, but you just can't put your life on hold for that. I've barely been to Mexico and it's so close to us. I'm going to Mexico in a couple weeks.

Really? For a work function. Okay. Work function. I don't know if we're allowed to say anything about it, but I'm excited about it. That's fun. Mexico's fun unless you're there in the middle of an uprising. Like, who was there recently?

Yeah, my friend was there during that. And the apartment that they rented the previous year, because they go there for a period of time, was on fire. Ooh. Are there seasons for these uprisings so you can steer of it? Yeah, there should be. They should be a shared calendar. I do want to know if the TSA is going to be annoying. There should be a global shared calendar for uprisings.

Yes. What about, you know, I don't know, places in Asia, you know, that aren't Tokyo for you. Oh, yeah. Have you ever been to anywhere in Asia? No, I haven't. I'd like to go. I'd like to go to Japan. Of course.

I would also like, I think I'd like to go to India. Yeah. I would like to go to India. Yeah, I would like to go to, I would like to go to Cambodia. My dad has been there a couple times and Mike went with my dad like a few years ago randomly. Your dad drop bombs on Cambodia. Is that correct? What's that from?

What's that from? It's from war? Oh. My dad. The dad thing felt like it was a reference to something. What if your dad says something like, yeah, Cambodia, I'd love to see it from the ground sometimes. I honestly, it's not by far off from my dad. But, yeah, I think I'm not going out there.

It was fair to just remember your dad and say like, there's not that big a deal. We went there, we did it, so what? And then he tells me a story about almost getting shot in the face. Yeah. Oh, my God. Terrifying. People didn't worry about it afterwards.

Hey, it was his generation. Yeah. No, he, he, he, it's not that, I don't know that he ever was trying to sell me on. It wasn't that big of a deal while it was happening. I think he was trying to say like, all these people crying about it in movies and all this. It's like, yeah, we were there. We came back. Jesus.

Yeah. It's like, well, a lot of horrible things happened over there. Lots of people died. He was in helicopters, so it's like. He didn't see it. But there's no way that this shit doesn't affect you. Yes. Of course it does.

I know, I know. But I think he, in his mind, it was just like. Like, guys, you're back now. Get over it. Yeah. He didn't want to see it. Yeah. I think they compartment was very, very strongly.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. I always go to New Zealand. Spice. Oh, New Zealand is wonderful. But it feels like. Oh, I'd like to go to spice.

Yeah. Yeah. You want to go to spice. I want to go to Spice World. You got to the moon? They've been going to the moon. Spice of my life. They've been having fun going to the moon.

Oh, by the way. Would you go to the moon if you could? No, we're not going to bring you out. I would like Greece to be like, uh, in the next, in the next year. Our mutual friend whose heritage is there, uh, really says, my heritage is also there. Yes. Oh, that's right. But says, I have relatives.

Okay. Wow. I'm not talking about them. I don't care. I don't care. Yes, our mutual friend who has, yes. Uh-huh. Says, says that we should definitely go there.

Yeah. They're talking about Bill W. You guys. Yeah. Yeah. Friend of Bill. Especially you know he was Greek. We're both in recovery.

Yeah. Yeah, I also have another friend who was a step 13 bore everybody about Greece. Greece, who is Greek and speaks Greek and was there recently and is now married to a Greek woman. I love that. Yes. Are you sure this wasn't a movie that you were watching? It's called Mamma Mia. Mama Mia, probably the greatest thing to happen in Greek tourism ever, right?

Or maybe sisterhood of the traveling pants. Do they go there? Are you forgetting about my big fat Greek wedding? Yeah, my big fat Greek wedding is what we're really talking about. Wait, but that was... Although, did that take place in the U.S.? No, that was all in the U.S.? It was great for Windex.

Did they go there in the second one? Who knows? I watched it, but I don't remember. Well, here's what we should do. We should all make a movie where we, the trip style, we go to someplace that we've always wanted to go to. I love the trip. Yep. Oh, they're making a new one.

Yay! New one's coming out. I'm glad to hear that. I love that. I love them. I worked with Rob Bright and... You did you on what? Holmes and Watson.

Oh, right. And he's hilarious. So I have a video. He has his, uh, classic bit man in a box that he does. I did my, we did that together in the video that I have on my phone. Now,

he seems like working with him. He's exactly like he seems on television. He was very funny. I watched the trip. I don't know if any of that was out at that time or what the timeline was on that, but I hadn't really been familiar with him before working with him, which I wish I had been because I would have mined it more.

But he was very fun. It was very fun to work with a very nice guy. But now I feel like I, I've seen him do so many things that I'm like, oh, I would have wanted to hang out much more. Yeah. And take a trip with him. I'd like to go on the trip and do Michael Kane impressions. I'm Michael Kine in Austin Powers.

I was thinking about this in cars. Is it Cars 2 were their spies? Cars 3 were their spies. Two. We're back on cars? We're talking about Cars 2 again. And we're aware of it. I'm because of surprise.

Something that I should have asked and I didn't. It's okay to go back to talking about cars too. Hit me with your question about cars. Were you upset? Were you upset they didn't hire you to play the trunk of Michael Kane's character? Trunk. Because of the back. Does the trunk talk?

The trunk doesn't talk, so. I realized the episode. And that occurred to me. That's fun. I had to get it in. I wish that I had become the guy, like his go-to guy. You know how certain stars use the same stuntman all the time?

I wish I'd become his guy. Gold finger, you were his gold finger, gold member. I was his back. I wish that he had used me for everything. Like, put me in the dark night just like as Alfred walking away. You know what I mean? And Bruce Wayne is like, oh, I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away. That would be a strange moment in the movie, don't you think, if he said that?

I don't think so. You don't think it would be distracting? It wouldn't take you out of it? No, Bruce Wayne, see, it's a character that he's playing. See, Batman is the real guy. Bruce Wayne is the character that he puts on. So for Bruce Wayne to say something like that, he's just a rich dipshit. Hmm, that makes sense.

You can see like some rich billionaire dipshit at a party making fun of his butler by saying, I hate to see you leave. Oh, he's making fun of him. So he just mean it. Yeah, no, he's like. It's sarcastic. He's teasing him trying to be an alpha. He's trying to alpha. He's like saying, you have a terrible ass.

Yeah, exactly. That's what people who say that mean. You have a terrible ass. I wish that we could just say that. Now, like, we've become so PC. Why can't we just go up to people and say you have a terrible ass? You know who has the worst ass? Could you back away from me when you walk away?

You know who has the worst ass? Please. This is actually 100% true. I would love to know. Yes. The penguin as played by Danny DeVito. Truly terrible. One of the worst asses.

Truly terrible. I long for a role where I get to be as disgusting as him. Like, he is, that is one of the best roles ever. Between two first movie. You did it already. You're right. I want to have all of that. Black bile coming out of your mouth.

I want to have an ass up to my neck. I want it all. It's so funny that we love Danny DeVito and still love him. We loved him so much back then in the late 80s and just loved the whole aesthetic of him being like this terror from the twisted mind of Danny DeVito and, you know, all of his characters being like these obnoxious assholes that we were just like, go further. Yeah. And then he did the penguin and everyone's like, too far. Did people think it was too far? Well, that movie was not a success.

I loved it. That's crazy. Mainly because of all the stuff was viewed as too harsh for kids. It's really good. Can I, to quote them great Michael Jordan, man, fuck them kids. And also, you took that personally. And I took that personally. It's a great.

It's one of my favorite Batman's. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. And you're the expert. I've seen them all. There's so much fun stuff in that movie. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a fucking ball. I haven't seen the original Batman, the 1989 Batman. Not the original. Forever. But go ahead. I corrected myself, dear. You didn't correct yourself. You got more specific.

There's a difference. Okay. Sweetie. I apologize to the world. Let them fight. Let them fight. Let them fight. Okay, Mel Robbins.

Who? Mel Robbins? Who's Mel Robbins? The let them theory? No, we don't know what this is. Tell us. We're not going there. What in the fudge?

We're not doing that. It's supposed to be an offhand comment. Not God, dead. No, maybe I will educate me. Yeah. Meljicate us. Real quickly, Mel Robbins is a life coach figure who's emerged in the last few years. Okay, I don't need to know that.

Who has a theory called the let them theory. Yeah. All right. And then let them. And then what? So let's let everyone do whatever the fuck they want and stop caring. Stop caring. Great theory, Mel.

Yeah. Sure, Mel. It's pretty much that. Sounds problem-free. Yeah. You'll never have a counter argument. We live in a society. Let them.

Look them. Oh, guys. We love Mel. I would like to see her in a Batman movie. You don't even, you didn't know she was one minute ago. I didn't know as a woman. I assumed as a man. Wow.

The life coach was a woman. Okay, Paul. That is unusual. Yeah. Um, you guys get any good massages lately? Can I? Okay. No, I'm good.

I'm afraid of this. I don't know what I'm not suggesting I'm going to give you one. I'm just wondering if you had a good one. No, I think you have a weird story coming up. If Paul wanted on the couch over there. I haven't had one in years. I had one recently. Why did you ask that?

I'm looking for stuff to talk about. I went to a spa. I want to talk about the Robin's brothers. Okay. You mean Batman's Robin and his brother? No. Okay. Batman's Robin and his brothers.

Hello father, hello mother. It is weird how it comes to your head. I didn't even know what the song was. I just knew that's what that was. But it was, it did rhyme. But it did rhyme. But isn't that weird how your brain is goes like? It did rhyme to the original song, Hello Mudda, hello father.

Yeah. There was a. Batman's Robin and his brother. Jewelry store in Philadelphia. Okay. It was a Robin's brother. this. Robbins Athen Loma. They're a chain. Yeah, I've heard of that. They started in Philly. They started in Philly. You learn something new every fucking day. And they drink water?

I could be wrong. Did they drink water? Water? It's one of those things where you, when you don't realize something as a chain when you're a kid. Because the commercials seem so local commercially. They did though. They did though. I felt that as well. They were grainy. Let me tell you something. Robin's brothers opened its first store in Seattle, Washington. Wow! Seattle. That's a really different vibe. They are a California-based company. That's a really different vibe. Can I see a picture?

I picture the logo, but I want to know if I'm right. Well, I'm going to show you this Wikipedia page, which has no pictures at all. You love Wikipedia. For the 8th and Walnut Store, maybe they did this for all of their stores, and they just swapped out the pertinent information. They did a parody of Rock and Robin called Rocks at Robbins. Rocks and Robbins. Rocks meaning like ice. And I remember that one of their things that they offered was for men, yes.

And I remember that one of their things that they offered was for men, you could get a diamond in your beard. What? And does it go in your skin? No. How is that going to stay? They're just tangle it up in your beard somehow. That's disgusting. Fuck you.

No, fuck off. But I remember in the song, it was, it featured both of the robinson. brothers. Then they got in some kind of trouble. I remember they were in some kind of legal thing. The actual Robbins brothers themselves? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there we go. Rocks of Robbins. Leap, weep, weep,

Wee, Aeth and Walnut. Leap, me, we, get your rocks of Robbins and you're really going to rock tonight. And then, so in the bridge, they would go, Thank you. Put it in your beard. Jerry's got a diamond in his beard. And then Jerry

would say to the camera, a lot of people think that's really weird. It wasn't a thing they offered. It was, I swear to go. No, it must have just been a bit for the commercial. It sounds like it was just a bit for the commercial that you took seriously. No, because they did it on more than one commercial. Yeah, but it sounds like a bit that was a recurring bit.

You know comedy. It sounds like a recurring bit. But you were little. You didn't understand it then. We're giving you grace. I'm telling you, you could go. Look, people will do anything if you pay them in a number. The part where he said a lot of people think that's really weird is the part where I think it's comedy.

It's a bit. But I don't know. But I don't know. I wasn't there. No, you don't know. And you weren't there. You know, there's nothing on the Wikipedia page about it or any trouble that the Robbins brothers got into. But I will say that their headquarters is in a zoos at California. My old stomping grounds. So much. I lived for a good year at least. Why were you stomping there so much? My friend, when I moved back to California, broke. And then I started playing blackjack, got myself out of the hole. And then I got enough money to move into a place.

My friend, his friend, had a condo in Azusa and said, we can get it really cheap and, you know, be roommates. It was a two-bedroom condo. And so I went there and the sink didn't work. And the dishwasher didn't work. And it never did. We never got a fixed. We ate out every single meal. Wow.

And by the way, the rent was just as cheap as anywhere else you would ever go to. Wow. But I live there for a year. Hold on a second. Okay, Paul. This is beefing news. Don't cross the streets. We don't bring that into here.

This is a sacred place. Befing news. See? Are you happy? I know. I don't know what that is. You're going to have to become acclimated to it. Robbins.

Diamonds, often known as Robin Zath and Walnut, was an iconic Philadelphia jewelry store located at 801 Walnut Street in a Jewelers Row, famous for TV jingles that operated for 60 years before closing in early 2011. Key details regarding Robin Zathan Walnut. A family-owned business run by the Robbins family, often associated with commercials featuring Jerry Robbins. Distinction. It is distinct from the national chain Robin Brothers.

Whoa. Holy shit. incredible. I thought you're going to give us evidence about the beard thing. Oh my God. That made me feel weird. This is even better in a way. In a way, when I say in a way, I mean in a worse way. I'm going to find the commercial. I don't think the commercial will really sell us. I once had a, I don't know how to say this word. B-U-C-C-A-L. Buckle or B-C-L. I guess I say B-U-C-L, but it's probably B-E-L. I think I hear more people say buckle. I've never had a case to even say it. I once had a buckle face massage, where. they put their hands in your mouth. Oh, no. Get out of here. And then move all over the place.

Did they make their fingers taste good? Yeah, it tastes so good. Like a hamburger? No, they had gloves on and it was like crazy. It was honestly one of the weirdest things. I don't even know if I would say it felt good. I think after I felt good. I honestly, now that you've said it, I kind of want it.

No, because right now I'm kind of wanting. I kind of want someone to like massage my jaw. Yeah. And I was remembering that I had this experience. Just do it. just we're massaging our jaws while we talk. It feels really, you should do it if you're listening, by the way. I refuse.

It does feel really good. It would feel good. My jaw has got me in so much trouble. It doesn't deserve a massage. But it was pretty crazy experience doing that. This guy was known for having a diamond in his beard. Just this one guy. I'm happy.

But they, why are you happy? Because you were right. I don't know that he's right as much as one guy. Hold on. I want you to be right. I do want you to be right. I'm telling you that they offered this. And I'm telling you that probably nobody wanted.

This is, I don't know that's offering something that no one will ever have you do is, is like, I don't know. We're splitting hairs. They didn't. Beard hairs. I'm saying they didn't,

this was not every single commercial. It was not like, no, I know. I know. I know. I'm just saying like, like it's not a thing that if you go into the store,

they're like, oh, do you want our beard thing today? Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's a thing that they would do for you if you said, hey, I saw your commercial where a guy had a diamond in his beard. They would go like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, we could do that. No, they said on the commercial, you could even get a diamond in your beard. But you understand what I'm saying. Like, like you, okay, let's roll play this. Okay, okay. Okay. You be the guy who wants the diamond in his beer. Okay.

Okay. Hi, can I ring you up? Oh, me? Yeah, that'll be eight. $80,000. Am I the guy who wants it? No, no. That's $80,000?

I don't have that. Okay, I'm going to insist. You give it back to me then. Well, no, I want this. That's the world's largest diamonds. I want that. And it's here in this one- Rubin's brothers.

Well, what? Maybe this guy does. Well, maybe I'll split it up into several thousand smaller diamonds. Do you have at least $1,000? Yes, I do. I have $1,000 in Kinko's gift cards. Okay.

I have no occasion to go to Kinko's to get. Oh, you make copies of your diamonds. Okay. I guess I guess I guess I. I could sell the copies of the diamonds then. This guy's on his phone. All right. Let me break up the world's largest.

Okay. All right. Here. This one is probably worth it. I'm sorry. Did the diamond sliver get into your cheek? You know what? Didn't get in there.

Keep that in your beard. Okay. Okay. See? Okay. I guess you're right. I guess you're right, Paul. That's how it happened.

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Oh, Mint Mobile. And we're back. That's, I've always wondered how one store can call themselves a name of a business. And then like another big chain calls it the same business. And then that one store is just like, well, what are we going to do? We're just a small Philly store. I also wonder about things like the Hellman's best foods divide. Yeah.

Why is, what does the Mississippi have to do with anything? The Hardee's, Carl's Jr. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like is it, is it there's a certain type of person lives on the other side of the Mississippi River? Does that mean there was another Hardee's already? Or does that mean there's another Carl's Jr. Hardies?

Hardies. So you grew up with Hardees. No, Carl's. Well, yes. I grew up. I guess Hardys. Yeah. I was Carl's Jr. Hardys feels right.

Carl's Jr. feels wrong. But Carl is. When you grow up with something. But Carl, no, but what, yeah, sure. But Carl, Lauren, you're right. Carl is the guy. It feels so West Coast. I can't even wrap my head around it.

Hardies, that's Midwest. But why, why? Doesn't best foods seem more Midwest than Hellman's? Yes. Now that I said it, they both seem very Midwestern. No, but, well, mayonnaise in general wouldn't happen on the West Coast. Manas in general should be kept to the East Coast. Like, we don't want it here.

Well, I have to go back to get mannese? Manas is Midwest and East Coast. More things should be like that where you have to go get it from a place. That's a little more exciting. Well, you know, I have to order Scrapple online. And Scrapple, now I always, I know that it's a pile of meats put together. I always picture it as a sort of like messy apple pie. Messy apple pie.

But it's, scrapple is meat. There is a scrapple like it's a, a scrapple is a type of dessert, I believe. That's an, isn't there? Because my mother would make it. What? Scrapple dessert. What? Do you ever play Scrabble and play the word Scrapple?

Scraffle dessert. Or is it a proper noun? That is all I've ever wished for. Yeah. It pairs the savory, crispy pork and grain loaf with sweet elements like apples, maple syrup or sugar. That's a dessert scrap. That's how you describe it.

And you don't like this, Paul. You made a yucky face like you smell poo. Like Mr. Yuck. No, you know what I like? I like when... Don't drink me. I do like when meat has a sweet flavor. Like I like...

We have something we call Christmas bacon that we make, which is brown sugar. bacon in the oven, you know, it's delicious. I don't, you taste so good. I don't, I don't think I like to mix meat with sweet. What about, you don't like pork chop and naplesauce? Pork chops, shnapple sauce. Pork chops shnapple sauce.

That, to me, is from the Brady Bunch movie. To me, it's from, oh, did they put in the movie? I did, yeah. Wow. Iconic. Some of the best film adaptations of TV property. Why don't we do shit that's fun anymore? I know.

Because it's too, everything's too expensive. Everything's too expensive. That was fun. But I love IP. That was fun. Hip man. Why can't we do something like,

but there's not, wait, name another thing that's like that. A parody? Of a thing that existed, but it's also honoring it, but it's a film, but it's this,

but it's that. I don't know. I don't know that parodies anymore. Anaconda? It's not a parody, though. No, I just watched that.

So did I. I just watched it. I will watch the same movie. We weren't together. We weren't together. We're not all having an affair. We weren't all in a bed. We weren't all in a bed.

We're all in a bed. We're all in a big bed with stuffed animals. I really laughed a lot during the movie. Yeah, it was very funny. I watched that. I'm a big Jack Black fan. A big Paul Run fan. Movie had a lot of components.

I was very happy. And Tandy Newton, Wade, what's her name? Yeah. Tendi Way. Tendiway. Yeah. She was great in it. Yeah.

She was funny. Oh, she was great. Oh, the guy. And Ione's guy. Ione sky, fabulous. Isn't it? So nice to see her. We know you're listening.

The guy that played the snake handler was so funny. Yeah. I don't remember overseeing him in anything before. Right. It was good. It's great to have something silly. And I think it did well. Yeah.

Good. I'm glad. I felt like it was on Netflix quickly. Like, was it a Netflix plan to go on Netflix? I don't think so. But I love anyone watching something silly. I love anyone watching anything. I want to push again my favorite movie of the year.

Please send help. Oh yeah, which I still haven't seen. You have to, I love this movie. Is it streaming yet? No. Where's streaming?

You have to pay, you have to like buy it. You have to rent it? No, I think it's on a service. I looked. I think it is on one of the services. But Kulap is kind of like, could I watch it?

And I said there's one frightening part. It's a Remy joint, right? I was screaming in the theater. I was laughing. in the theater. I was on the edge of my seat. I loved it. I was surprised by everything that happened. I had the best time watching that movie. I look forward to it. I like Sam Ray Moore. I was stoned, but I had a great time. Fun. And it was all made it even better. I had the thought the other day. Yeah. It's so, it's so pleasant. It's wonderful. It's so pleasant. It's so wonderful.

Scott's afraid because he thinks he's going to like say something. No. I'm a deep, dark underbelly. I did want to say that I saw Yorma's new movie over your dead body, which is very, fun in the same way as send help and I think I think uh people should say it do you go to videos I was invited to that and I didn't I saw I saw a link but um you saw links I saw links I see links everywhere no I was I see links all over the place I was playing Zelda that's right um you saw link no but it's it's similar to send help in a in a in a fun way yeah yes fun and I know when people hear this it will have been out for a couple of weeks but um these two should go see it Because, and it's in theaters and it's very fun.

I will, and I'm trying to see more movies because it's really fun. We went to see Hoppers. Oh, yeah. Spring break. You said it was great, right? I loved it. I cried a number of times. I thought Bobby Moynihan was fantastic.

I think it's one of the best things he's done. I mean, honestly, he was so funny in this. It's a cartoon, so you can get to see him be funny, but he was hilarious. Is it better than the fresh ground pepper guy? No. Is it better than the fresh prince? No. Is it better than Mentos, the,

Freshmaker? No. Is it better than the widow maker? No. Is it better than the widow of Wagon Gap? No. Is it better than paint your wagon? No.

Is it better than paint Huffing? No. Is it better than the Huffington Post? No. Is it better than The Post? No. Is it better than hitting the post? The three-cher that we play sometimes.

Yes. Okay. We finally found something. Now I know where we are. But that's actually a pretty high barb because that's one of our best three times. I thought you were going to say pretty high barbecue, which sounds good to me right now. It's a pretty high barbecue. I love to be high and eating barbecue.

That would be great. Just sitting outside. We should have a freedom barbecue where we're all high and we invite all our fans. You know, there's never enough time in the day. To watch us and judge us being high. There's a big fence. I don't have enough times in my life where I'm just chilling outside eating a hot dog. I know.

You know what? I got to start I'm going to get smoking the grill. I got to get I start smoking meats again. I'm going to get

into grilling this summer. I'm going to go hard. Are you really? I don't know. I just said it. So who knows? You could. I believe in you.

No, I should. I should be grilling some of my faves. You should be some of your faves. Yeah. But some of your faves

are problematic. Well, impossible burgers. You're grilling Louis CK. My fave. I'm grilling him. I'm interrogating him. I'm doing all the things.

By the way, Netflix's comedy Which we're in the middle of right now. In the middle of the Netflix is a joke. Which I'm participating in because Mary and I are part of it. Oh, right. I'm not due to lack of interest. Uh-huh.

But I... You did two years ago. Yeah, wasn't that nice? In the comedy bag. That's right. No, as long as somebody else who show they are interested in puts me on, then I will be participating. Barely interested.

I remember I feel like my agent asked me, three years ago do you want to submit Varietopia for Netflix's joke? And I was like, yeah, never heard anything again. Yeah, I have no idea what the process is. I do remember the Aspen Comedy Festival.

I do remember that whole laborious process. I remember that was a huge deal. It was a huge deal. I remember right coming off the heels of Mr. show writing the season I worked on, having no time, but they were begging me to put a show together to take the Aspen Comedy Festival.

And I had been there a couple years, and it was a huge goal of mine. And I put together this show, and Bob Odenkirk dropped out at the last second because he had a baby. For some reason, he thought he could be in the show, even though he's having a baby. And then finally put it up,

and the guy never came to it. At the time, the Aspen Comedy Festival was like, you'd get an HBO show. Yeah. That was like the biggest, like, way to get some, like, a sketch show or something, right? But what's so funny about that is, like, a lot of those things were already kind of,

in motion already. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, right. So it's not like, no one was getting discovered necessarily. Yeah.

Although the, that guy chicken. Oh, the chicken. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's a sad story. He did, yeah, because he ended up,

he ended up taking his own life. He's no longer with us anymore. But he, he got discovered a one of us. I think it was a JFL. Yeah, yeah. He did one set, he did a five minute set

and got signed to some deal. And then he, Matt TV, I think. Then he stopped doing, no, was that show hype. Oh, hype. Yes. Then he didn't do any more performances

for the rest of the festival. There were some people there. I would know. I didn't play. You got to get out. But then you would hear about him at the parties. There would be like the big parties. It would be like, oh yeah, he's over there.

He's like doing this crazy shit or whatever. I feel like at the time there were, and I mean, this would have been for me like 2006, that this was happening that a lot of people were really, it was like if you, I feel like there were people where they would really put that in their cap as like a thing that they. Lauren, by the way, is miming all of this,

the putting something in her hat. It's a piece of macaroni, I can't remember. But it would be, I called it that. It's a feather. I called it macaroni. That's my right. Why did he do that? Can you imagine hearing that song when it was new?

You were fucking dying laughing. Yeah. I think we did what? My kids haven't heard that one yet. and I don't want to introduce it. Oh, man. It's about mental illness. Oh, okay.

Yeah, you're right. That is the thrust of it. Anyways, I just feel like it was like people being like, oh, they went to ask. It was very like they went to ask. I know. Well, when I was there, 96, 97 or so, by the way, it was so funny because I saw, I didn't really know Zach Alfenek at that point. I'd seen him at Largo. And that's where we first, like, had our real conversations.

It was so... And her first kiss. And her first kiss. It was so funny that he basically just came up to the festival and booked his own shows around in local clubs around it. That's smart. But it was such a huge deal. And it was like Tenacious D. Got a show and everyone got a show and you got a show and you got a show.

Yeah, special. Nothing's like that anymore. No. There aren't shows anymore. But the irony is that there's endless room for shows. I'm always confused when they remove something from a streamer. I go, I know.

Can't you just leave it up there? Just leave it. Can't I just watch it? Man, the golden age of... Can you just put... Even things that get rejected that are made, they get rejected from... I mean, just put it on there.

Yeah. What do you care? The golden age of the streamers when they first... Put all pilots on streaming. Yeah. When they first came out... Maybe you were wrong. Yeah, let's see if it gets an interaction.

When they first came out during COVID, they would have everything they ever made on there of every season. Like every episode of Super Friends would be on there. Every episode of Wonder Woman. Streamers, dear. All streamers? Specific streamers. Oh my God.

What's the time now? Going back to my phone. No, Scott. Oh, my God. Drama queen. DQ. What a DQ. What a DQ.

What a DQ. What a DQ. Dairy queen. Dysqualification, drama queen. What else? Donkey Kwong. Donkey Kwan. It's not bad.

Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. Donkey clong. Anyway, look, we're so old. Meanwhile, our whole justice.

It's weird that it was Ted Knight. Was it really? Yeah. He was the announcer for the Super Friends. Monroe. Monroe.

Are you, are you, my pal? That's from the Caddy Jack. Well, we're waiting. God, I miss,

I miss, I miss comedian. who could have a funny voice like that. Even, you know, I watched National Amputins Christmas vacation. Never seen it. Over Christmas. It's very funny.

I watched it with my parents and we were laughing. Merry Christmas. Shitter's full. And you're go, we're not even having fun like this anymore. Because meet the fuckers. That's that category. Yeah. I need.

Well, there's a new one of those coming out. I need more things like this. We need more fun things in our life. Look, we try to do our part with what meager saving we have putting them towards buying these microphones that we are talking into right now. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, that's all we can do. We can only do so much.

We need other rich corporations to give us these jobs. Yes. The best we can do is just bullshit for an hour. Yeah. And we hope we're doing our part. I'm bullshitting. Now, speaking of, I've mentioned this before, a podcast that I really enjoy, it's called three bean salad.

Three Bean and the Bean. It's these three English gentlemen's, maybe one is Welsh technically by birth. Okay, we don't mean to offend any nation out there. But they're not knowing exact specifics regarding where they're from. But like us, there are three friends who are just bullshitting for an hour. They were smart enough to have a theme for their show. Oh, what is the theme? They would have a topic of discussion every time.

I don't think any of us expected to still be doing this. No, I didn't expect to still be live. Yeah. We could come up with a topic, by the way. But we could. But we'd have to talk about the entire episode. No, they don't talk about the entire episode. Oh, it's just a launching pad.

Their first segment, they just bullshit, whatever catch up. Okay. Second segment, they talk about the topic. All right, let's just do that. And the third segment, they just have like an outro conversation. Let's just do that. Yeah, let's just do that. They read emails and stuff like that.

That would be good for us. If we did their format, oh my God. Let's call it Freedom Bean Challenge. Or whatever it's called. Freedom Bean challenge. Let's just do it. Let's just do it. It's not that specific.

Let's call it the Freedom Bean Challenge. If we have Three Bean Challenge, we could at least do that once a month where we had it. Let's bring in beans. Let's bring in some of our favorite beans. A bean taste test. And we'll do a taste test and we'll call it the Threaton Bean Challenge. A bean taste test. Just eat them.

Just eat them. What are you missing about? I don't want to do a taste test of beans. Why? I actually. I just saw. Instagram post about a podcast I want to listen to starring Mel from Last One Laughing as one of the hosts.

Mel Gidreich. Yes. Well, here's the thing. It's called Mel and Sue should know by now. It looks funny. Who's the Sue? Is it Sue Perkins? It's Sue Perkins.

I called it. Wow. The duo explores topics they should know about by now from breadmaking to the mysteries of kink, sharing personal anecdotes and 37 years of friendship stories. I mean, that's every topic for us. We talk about everything we know about and everything we should know about. Yeah. The mystery.

of kink so here's the thing yeah they are in many ways the anti-threatom because they are supportive of each other oh they're not constantly interrupting each other they're not constantly looking for

they listen to each other they listen to each other no fucking way but here's what's funny yeah after years of doing this show I have noticed they hate each other they don't hate each other but they have started to point

out that someone's the one guy who repeats the one guy who does not pay as much attention to what other people are saying so he can talk about his own thing oh yeah and who is that here here's what we know here's what we that's pretty much all of us here's what we do I'm gonna do right now here's what we do right now here's we do we do we say it all we don't hold back we're unfiltered that's right we don't spray it we don't hold it in that's right no we So that way, we don't have these moments years in where someone goes, you kind of interrupted me. And everyone's going, oh. Oh, they don't do it like that.

Pardon me. You kind of interrupted. Yeah, they do it like that. We just get right down to it. It's more like is the fact that you don't understand because you weren't really paying attention? Yeah. Like that kind of thing. But that's very funny.

But that's hundreds of episodes in, whereas we started doing that immediately. No, first episode. We can't listen fully. Come on, come on. How am I supposed to think of my jokes if I'm listening? Honestly. All right, let's take a break. Okay.

Back? Yeah, I think we are. I think we're back. Yeah. I'm thinking... Back I think we are. Thinking I'm back. I am.

I'm back thinking I am. Yota, I love your audition for John Wick. Yes. But... Notes? Notes you have? We're sort of an Aaron Sorken type where we want the words said exactly

the way they're written. Word perfect you are. It's time for a little something we call it three-j. It's time for a little something we call a three-chard. It's time for a little something we call a three-chers. It's time for a little something we call a tweet-o. It's time for you. It's a little something we call a tweed-chure.

They think, they think, they think, they think they want a three-chur. They think, they think they want a three-cher. This game Yep Is called Hitting the boat Oh my God No not Hawk Tua

Spit on that thing Oh my gosh Hop Tua Way How is she Not good I think Really I think the whole

Mean coin Controversy Well I think she's fine Was she a scammer She was like Wait I made all the money And I don't have to do anything about it

Goodbye Goodbye Yeah she did a big rug pull As they call it Yeah Cool. Good for her. Good for her.

If you paid attention to her, you got what you deserved. Is her podcast still happening, though? We don't need to know. No, it is not. Talking Tua. Talking Tua is no longer happening. Defunct. Yeah.

Dude. Hock Tua is dead. Someone says on Reddit one month ago. Hock Tua is dead, but they're just saying the meme. What happened to the Talk Tua podcast? Went on hiatus. Parted ways with Jake Paul's. better media and return

for a second season. It's just my face here. All right, we're going to play hitting the post, and we all know how this is played. We all have phones that have music in them. We're going to play songs at random. We're going to... How do we want to do it? The person

to the clockwise of the person playing the song? Meaning I play the song and Paul does the... Right. Yeah. Okay, great. All right, I'll do that right now. Do you start off? I'll play. I'll plug my phone in. And what we're trying to do with this this three-cher, it's not a game.

Did I say game? Is we are going to play these songs that the other person presumably knows or doesn't know. And we're going to try to have... Oh, God, sorry. Hey, man. What's going on over there? Well, I'm queuing up a song while I talk.

Oh, sure. And you guys could maybe take up some of the slack for me, but. I know. I'm having a hard time because it feels like I have a slow Wi-Fi connection or something. I got off the Wi-Fi because it wasn't working, I think. I got off and see if that makes it. Because you're streaming your songs and they're not downloaded to your phone. Some are.

Some aren't. It's okay. So what we're doing is Paul, I'm going to play a song at random. And Paul is going to be a DJ who is trying to. to, as they say in the business, hit the post. What does that mean? That means going to try to talk over the instrumental section of the song at the beginning and dismount, stop talking cleanly, cleanly, right before the singing starts.

You'll hear this when you listen to the radio, for instance. You listen to the radio. Paul, are you ready? I am ready. Here we go. It's 78 and sunny out there. Everyone should be feeling good. And if you're not, it's probably on you.

Have you been to therapy? Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Do you hold them as such high esteem? You can't see them as... Damn. That's a tough one. That was a really tough. It was tough.

That was the last dinner party with Let's Do It Again. I'm sorry. I now hate that song forever. Yep. Understandishable. All right, Paul. What's that from? Mr. Shoeff.

sketch I wrote. It's perfectly understandable. All right. Are you connecting a pair of headphones? If you switch devices, you can update the selection in the sound and haptics section of settings. Wow.

Other device. Other device. There we need to know that. You have selected other device. All right. Lauren is going to be speaking now and Paul is going to play a song from random. Okay.

Here we go. Are you ready? Lauren. Then here we go. Here we go. Are you guys following the latest pop star news? We got a crazy situation happening. DUI has occurred and all of the pop stars, we're driving the car.

We're trying to get the footage. We want to play it for you. We're going to have it on our TikTok. DoI has occurred. Who is that? Was that the last dinner party too? That was Florence and machine. Oh, that's right.

Very similar to them. All right, let's turn our phones up. Let's do it. Now, it does want to know what I'm doing here. Hey, turn my phones up. Okay, I'm turning it up. Okay. All right.

Ready? Oh, yes. All right. Here we go. Wait, that one has talking. Hold on. No, no, no, no. Skip ahead.

Hey, everyone, are you a fan of the Talking toua podcast with Haley Welch? Well, then you're going to love this song because during it, I'm going to receive oral sex. they're going to spit on that thing. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. They're going to spit on that thing. Fucking disgusting. It is disgusting, isn't it? All right. Paul, I'm going to play something at, I'm just going to play something at random. Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Here we go. Everybody's got to know that time for talk is over. It's time for everybody to shut up. That's right. This Friday, no. one's allowed to talk. Oh. God, these are coming up so... Sorry.

No, no, no. This is random. We're how... We're... You listen to that side. Now listen to that side. No, used to do that. Ah, madness.

Everybody likes my pie. Lauren, are you fucking ready? One, two, three. Two, three. Okay. Here we go. That doesn't count. That's not

Is this scatman? Skatman. Kim control? If only. And the he dog and the she-dog. Okay, sorry. But let's listen to a little scat-

Now, why not? Nib-b-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-bba-dab-dab-dab. I'm like that John Ham meme where he's like dancing. Oh, yeah. It's a bad bunny, right? He's the biggest bad bunny fan. loves bad bunny okay

I'm so sorry about that Skyman be quiet okay here we go we're having a big day here in the studio you guys we've got the speed daters of all ages coming in here we've got a hundred year olds

we've got 20 year olds they're going to talk and they're going to fuck on the radio and we're going to be here for it it is 150 degrees outside that's the national average and we're doing great. You know, it's Christmas Day, so I want to hear,

what are you doing with your family? Call on in and let me know your traditions. Merry, Merry Christmas. I wish you the best. I wish you the worst, and I wish you everything in between. My family has a pretty special tradition. We like to make what we call Grinch cookies.

It's where you shave your pubs and put them on chocolate chip cookies. They're nasty. They're blasty, and we give them out to all the neighbors we hate. Hey, I wanted to just say, thanks so much last week for the outpouring of love I received on the passing of my parakeet. That was my best friend for the last 20 years. But they got to go. He flew away, spiritually, of course.

He is in an urn on my mantle. I got him the tiniest little urn you've ever did see. It's the size of, well, a small cup, but it has a lid. And it's in the shape of a bird, much like he was when he lived and when he was with us. So when these speed daters get in here, I want you guys to tweet me on X, the questions you want us asking those in the 150s and those in the 20s and everything in between. We've got Generation M in here. Oh, and I'm out.

One minute and 51 seconds. Wow. No, I didn't. Wow. Yeah, it does eventually have lyrics. Sly of the family stone. Thank you for talking to me, Africa. This is out of my window.

Oh, okay. Oh, I know where that is. I was like someone I didn't recognize. I know who he is. There's someone out our window. There's nobody out there. You're insane. all right

Lauren's going to play the song I'm going to talk and hear I'm going to play the song I'm going to talk here wait Hey everyone How old are you

If you're between the ages of 18 and 49 We want to hear from you If you're 50 years old You're shit out of luck However If you're 51 I also want to hear from you

I also want to hear from you You I should have known Genesis Let's give it Bap-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boo. All you ready? Yeah, I am.

Here we go. Just a reminder, our contest to see... That's not fair. I'm going to give you another one. Here we go. Ready? All right. Just a reminder, our contest to see who is the shortest is still going on.

So far, everyone we've had has been over six feet tall. We really do need somebody that's at least under... 5-11. If you'd like to come in to studio, please, we've had a number of people coming in, hitting their heads instantly disqualified when they hit their head on the doorframe. So we're looking for shorties. Get in here. If you are lying about your height, you're the kind of person we're looking for. We want somebody who thinks they would like to be taller, but just isn't. So if your average height or below, absolutely come in. Remember, the prize is $7. So if you need $7 and you're a little guy,

Oh, gosh. My worst showing of all time. Oh, you're doing great. You were thrown by that first song selection, which it was random. I didn't pick it intentionally. That was random. That was Van Sire. Random.

It was who? Van Sire. With a song called Halcyon Age. Like someone who's sired a van? But one word, Van Sire, yeah. So like a truck. Or a vampire without the MP with an S instead. So what would that mean?

I don't know. Okay. Who am I then? You got me. I'll look it up. They're a band. I'll tell you this much. They're an American Dream Pop band from Rochester, Minnesota.

Oh, that's what I figured. Mm-hmm. All right. Here we go. Lauren, are you ready? Because I have a song coming up for you, and you're going to have to do hitting the post. And let's skip over all these instrumentals.

Why do I have so many songs by John Phillips Suza? Why indeed? It makes you happy. You don't need to apologize for that. It does make me happy. Yeah. He's the inventor of the... Something, right?

Some... Suissephal. Well, sure, that, but... Brum... Bada... Bada... It's called the Susaphone from him. It's called the sousaphone from him.

Yeah. Wow. Wow. You thought it was the other way around? I just didn't think he was connected. He was like, I'm going to name myself after this thing. Okay. All right.

I'm so sorry. A lot of Sousa music in there, apparently, that you need to skip through. What do you do? How do you select the songs? I press random. I go to my songs. I go to songs. So random.

And then I press the little arrows thing that makes them shuffle. Okay. That's all I do. All right. Are you ready, Lauren, I have one. All right. Yep. It's 2 a.m.

Do you know where your boyfriend is? Well, we've got the cameras following the guys, and we're going to find out who's been cheating. This scandal's been going out for the last two weeks. We had a few women call us in last week, and they thought their boy was cheating. We're going to find out what happened. So here we are, finding it out.

I can't wait to see what we caught, and I can't wait to tell you all about it. Right after this hot tune, that's blasting off. As I speak, don't you want to hear you? hear the words because you know I do. But I've been up for the last 14 hours. God damn. Guys are killing

it. Wow. That was of course Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie. Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie. I actually don't know that song. You don't know that song? Oh, it's gorgeous. One of those best. Fung to Fungi. We know Major Tom's a junkie.

No. That's a great one. Give me that cordial. Give me that cord. Give me that cord. Give me that cord. Okay. Lauren's going to play it.

Is this our last one? This is the last one. Ever. We're never playing this kid. Yep. Mm-hmm. Here we go. Hey, everyone.

Have you noticed that there's been a lot of women out there following us guys with cameras? I really have no idea why they've been doing it. But I think it's this DJ on Arrival Station has been setting this up. Anyway, I haven't been cheating at all. I mean, yeah, I got occasional. things on the side, but like most of you guys out there, right? So what we need to do is we all need as men to band together and kind of get these cameras out of these women's hands. You know, I don't know, via force, any means necessary. That's what I'm talking about. Now, are you interested in hearing

these words? Because I know I am. By force. Wow. Wow. And that was, of course, here and after by De La Sol. Of course it was. Of course it was. Love De La Sol. Well, thanks, everybody. That was fun. That was fun. Thank you for listening. We really appreciate you guys for sticking with us all these years.

It's very nice. It's nice of you. And I want to say that Paul and I are about to embark upon the Comedy Bang Bang Tour. And we're hitting, I believe, 39 or 38 shows. I'm not quite sure at this point how many we're doing. But we're doing, we're going out there to the United States, to Canada, to, to Scotland, to England, to Ireland. And we're doing a whole bunch of shows.

This all kicks off on May 25th in Toronto. And then we're throughout the summer all the way through September. We're going to be doing cities. And I hope you come out and see us. Only cities. Only cities. We're not going to be doing entire states. We don't do towns.

We don't do hamlets. Wouldn't that be cool if there was an arena as big as a state and that was just a state? Would it be cool? Yeah. No, wait, get high. Here, have some of this pop. It's cool, man. You can get tickets at CBBworld.com

slash tour for these shows, and we hope that you come out and see us because we're going to have a lot of fun. And my ax! Mm-hmm. Yay. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next time.

Goodbye. Bye.