Threedom - Edge Me, Amadeus

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

Scott, Paul, and Lauren discuss snacks, Scott's Etsy purchase, and Paul's cruise before playing Jitterbug.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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to the market set surveyed. Want more? Check out at Shopify.com slash freedom, all lowercase and learn how to create the best retail experiences without complexity. Shopify.com slash freedom. Hi, is this an okay time? It's your girl Dylan Mulvaney and I am inviting you to my weekly cocktail party and my brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour, brought to you by Lemonada Media. Life is stressful and there is so much darkness in the world, I think we could all use a little bit of trans joy.

So join me every week as I interview some of my favorite A-list celebrity friends and gurus and of course, the dolls, while we sip and spill the scalding hot tea. So put your worries aside and join me at the Dylan hour. You can listen on Apple, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Love ya. No! Sweet Throbs! Yeah, Throbs is the name of the game. If you like the words. I tried to say it backwards for fun.

What'd you say, Mum-three? Mum-three? Mithrot. It's not exactly. Or relatively close, but. It's not even close at all. Wouldn't it be, okay, it would be. You're a loser, but. It's not even close at all. Wouldn't it be, okay, it would be. You're a loser, baby.

Mud. Mud. Muddy Earth. Muddy Earth, Mud Earth. Mud Earth. Mud Earth, oh my God. Mud Earth. Three and a backwards is Mud Earth.

Oh my God. A lot like how Erwan is. Nowhere. Nowhere, and Evian is naive. That's right. So we live on earth, which has mud. Yes. So we're, we're from planet earth all along. Oh my God. The clues were all there. So we're not aliens. No, although it was set up. You fucking assholes. We're not aliens.

We're descended from the Battlestar Galactica. Of course we are. Of course. Who came down here with all of their astrological spaceships. Yes, they wrote Bob Dylan songs. What? What? I literally don't know what you're talking about. Are you familiar with the Battlestar Galactica? She's a Cylon robot though.

I'm really not. A skin job? Are you a skin job? Are you a toaster? OK, yeah. Those are the two slurs in the Battlestar Galactica universe. Well, I'm offended. You're either a skin job or a toaster.

For evil robots. But a skin job though, is that a robot with skin on it or is that what they call? I guess Cylon Robots don't have room for slurs. What? They don't have room for slurs? Meaning like they're so analytical they don't like call things slurs maybe? I don't have room for slurs? Meaning like they're so analytical they don't like call things slurs maybe? I don't know. The robots themselves? Yeah. Like they don't get offended. Well you know they're not out there going like hey look at this skin job

over here like they're just more like Cylon Warrior activate. No skin job is a Cylon that looks like a human being. That's what I'm saying. So why would they be saying, oh so they're saying, so you're saying there's like colorism within the Cylon community. I'm saying that I'm saying at first I was like, wait, is a human being a skin job to a Cylon? And then I realized Cylons wouldn't, they wouldn't, you know, they wouldn't have pejorative names for humans. Unless they're the skin jobs. The skin jobs, of course, have more advanced brains and racism. That's the problem with having an advanced brain. Yeah. Is racism. Good morning. That's right. Good morning.

It's great to be a racist. What? What? That's in that song. How dare you say such a word? How dare you sing such a word? Different, though, from other musicals of the era. Certainly not. Welcome to Freedom, I'm Scott. I'm Paul. I'm Lauren.

And we're back and I have to say, when you guys walked in, I was anxiously awaiting, ever since we did our last episode, I was anxiously awaiting these new snacks that you were last episode, I was anxiously awaiting these new snacks that you were gonna bring. You walked in empty handed. I fucking forgot. I'm so mad.

Not even a, nary a mention of it. Well, weirdly I do have a full bag of chips in my bag that's open. That's not weird. I would leave that. Standard operating procedure. Okay, well I will leave that. The one thing I wanna say about the snacks.

I do want you to donate that, but it's almost the weekend, you're probably not gonna be recording. One thing that I wanted to say about the snacks. I do want to donate that, but it's almost the weekend. You're probably not going to be recording. One thing I wanted to say about the snacks, which I wasn't properly able to elucidate last time. Oh, sure. You guys are the only ones who eat them. I don't eat them.

I know, but for a long time, you were the only ones who ate them because- What about Brett, who nearly died? Brett is not usually here. Let me tell you something, though. This is a special- Can I say my point? Sure. Are you going to let me talk?

Sure. Sure. Instead of fucking interrupting me like you always point? Are you gonna let me talk? Sure, sure. Instead of fucking interrupting me like you always do. This is like traitors. To the races. No, I was quiet for you. I was quiet for you. Now respect me and listen to what I'm gonna say. Yeah, my point is.

We're about to do that too. I know. We're about to have a traitors party. You two are the only one who are here longer than an hour and 15 minutes. So like everyone else is- How many bang bang is longer than that? Hour and a half.

I'm so sorry that I'm not precise. It's been clocking at an hour in 15 minutes. No one ever has snacks here other than you guys who always come starving. And- Well, I just ate breakfast at a restaurant right before I came here. Whoa, hold on.

So this is huge news. Shut the fuck up. Which I often do before coming to this record. Are you fucking kidding me? No, I ate a full. Where did you eat? I'm not telling where I ate. A full English?

But I ate a full English. No, I had two eggs over easy. I had some sourdough toast. Is that how you like your eggs is over easy? Yes, and I had bacon and that was delicious. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I had un uph over medium.

I did say over medium, but this place always does it. A little under. Right. And I also had sourdough toast. My friend Catherine baked us some bread. She lives in our neighborhood. Collapse cousin baked some sourdough last night and brought it over.

What's going on? No one's making me bread and I'm mad. And she said to us, like, I love to make bread, but I don't like to eat it. I love to make bread. Do you want me to bring a loaf over all the time? I was like, yes. Do you want me to bring a loaf over all the time?

Yeah. What an offer. It's a lot. She has to make two because she does double recipe or something. I forget how she was explaining. I was like, well, cut the recipe in half in my mind. But she just likes the process and the kneading the bread and all that kind of

stuff. And then she's like left with all these loaves of bread. And she brought one over last night. It was delicious. We had some salted butter and just stick one in this fucking room. No. Yeah, the least you could do. You want some bread and butter. This is my point. You guys always come as if your spouses have have let you out of prison to come to your podcast Hold on a second, dear. We come having had breakfast then we're here for a fucking day Yeah, it's like five hours later. Like yeah at some point I get hungry again. And by the way, we record And bring stuff down because you have great taste in food.

You could just bring a couple snacks. Yeah, exactly. I already opened my home to you. I have to do more than that? You bring the stuff. Open your home, yes. Yeah, this is where we record. Okay, and also.

Yeah, it's great to hang out. Why did you push your desk like that? Why did you do that? None of your business. Wait, how come you come in here and you scope out the entire room? He's making, he's gonna bring in a big craft service table. No, that's what he's doing.

This is a surprise for us. He has an employee who's bringing food. Yes, come be a big table with some food. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. You guys are tearing me apart. Let me finish and I'll let you talk.

My point is, you guys are the only one who ever eats snacks. It's not because there weren't any and then I eats snacks. The snacks were piling up here. You do have to let them finish. The snacks were piling up here. And then because this is also my office, which I had to turn into a studio. No, they were, I was then eating them during the day,

all through the day. And I was like, I don't want any snacks. Well, you're probably getting gut rot because they're all from 2020. No, when I finally stopped having, buying snack, because I was replenishing them all the time because you guys were eating them and then I was- I wasn't even eating them.

And then they were stacking up and then I was just eating them. I finally was like, why am I buying snacks all the time? These guys are the only ones who eat them. No one at Comedy Bang Bang ever- Yeah, why am I buying snacks? There's only two people that eat them. I wanna just comment.

But I say it on a regular basis. Who I care about maybe, supposedly. You bring the snacks is my point. I wanna just comment. But I say it on a regular basis. Who I care about, maybe, supposedly. You bring the snacks is my point. I guess what I have to always say is my bag. Now I'll let you talk. Uninterrupted. This isn't what I was gonna say, but I have two cheese sticks, a bag of ruffled chips,

and I have seaweed in my bag right now for when I get hungry later. Well, the point I was going to make was that some people, some people like to- I love the seaweed diet. Some people's response to our food was that some people, some people like to, some people's response to our food conundrum on that previous episode was to say that the expiration dates are bullshit and things

can last long. It's not true, buddy. And the- The snacks in question, you say were gross. Fine, they are. Brett said no. I didn't even buy those. Let me finish. I'm gonna even know. I didn't even let me finish.

I'm going to let you finish uninterrupted. You said Brett said in his text and I quote, it was rancid. Yeah. Something was really talking about the band. The person said the person on the discord said has nothing to do with safety. And it's like, it eventually does have something to do with safety depending on what you're talking about. Yes. I don't want to eat that cause I'm going to bar fit up.

Just because Kulak bought a large tub. Don't blame your wife. I'm going to blame her because she, because she bought this large tub of, what was it pretzel? I don't even know what it was. It was bar mix. Bar mix. There was also a large tub of pretzel.

Tavern mix and pretzel. That also went stale. She bought two large tubs. Those were hard and pretzels. That also went stale. Those were hard and soft at the same time. She bought two large tubs because she's a Costco queen. And my, I don't know if your brains work this way, but if you're uninterested in something, if I'm uninterested in something in one of my spaces, it's like fuzzy to me. Yeah, I can't see you right now.

I... I... No, but I like don't even, I don't even know. So those two things have been there because I don't, I don't want to eat it. You don't even register them online. I don't even register that they're there. Why, we already know that you don't care.

I don't know why you're explaining this. And also this all came up because you're saying I didn't bring snacks. So that's it. I fucked up. I fucked up! That's what I wanted. But guess what? But guess what? I'm gonna bring, I didn't bring snacks. That's it. I fucked up. I fucked up. That's what I wanted. But guess what?

I am going to bring them. I also will make a point. You could say to your wife, hey, next time, why don't you get some individually bagged chips? Which we were doing for a long time. And they all were going like hotcakes, were they not?

By me. And I'm gaining weight. That's a self-control issue. Well, I have one. So let me not have snacks down here. So here's what I'm gathering from this. Yeah. You kept rants of snacks here as a deterrent to you.

No, it's not because you don't. I didn't, I don't. Stop, stop, stop. Those are not snacks that I would. I'd let you talk. I'd let you talk. Let him finish uninterrupted. Uninterrupted go.

I'm saying this. Paul, the problem is. This is a tribute to you. I'm giving you a compliment. This is tribute. This is your tribute, by the way. This is our- This is just a tribute. I volunteer as tribute. This is just a tribute.

You are saying it's not that you don't care about your guests who come in here and like a lot of workspaces, a decent thing they would do is have snacks or coffee. You do. Of course you love them. You love them so much. You keep rants of snacks around so that you won't eat them and gain more weight. No. So you'll be pretty funny. Point is, is I stopped buying any snacks because no one was eating them but you. The coffee is a different situation where literally two musicians come in here

in the middle of the afternoon. I shouldn that, I shouldn't have said coffee. We shouldn't have said coffee. And they go like, do you have a cup of coffee? And I'm like, oh, coffee? Oh, cup, cup, cup, cup, cup. Can I just say, you're saying the snack somebody ate, that was down to the dredges of like, those little alcohol chocolates and the little.

Yes! That's what I'm saying, that's not a snack that's waiting to be eaten. No one's going to eat it. No, no one ate them while they were here. You have to agree, Lauren. I don't have to do anything. This is a have to agree.

There was a period of time where we were replenishing the snacks at a good clip. Yes. Right? Yes, I agree. And you guys were the only ones eating them. That's not true. And then me.

Who else was eating? Comedy bang bang people. No, they weren't. No one comes in here and eats snacks. You don't. How do we know that? We're not here for everything. Because I'm here. No they weren't. No one comes in here and eats snacks. You don't. How do we know that? How do we know that?

We're not here for everything. Because I'm here. You're like Sean. You're an unreliable narrator. Everyone brings in their own stuff all the time. I'm so mad. I refuse to believe that. I'm gonna bring in things and we're gonna see how they go

and it's gonna say no Scott on them. That's fine. Here's, get the lock box. Here's the lock box. Remember Elgor? Did he say lock box? He said lock, he had some financial plan that involved a lockbox. Here's what, lockbox. Remember Elgor? Did you say lockbox? He said lock, he had some financial plan that evolved the lockbox.

And I remember Darrell Hammond saying lockbox a bunch of times on SNL. But here's the thing. Scott, and it pains me to say this. You're right. Oh my God. As much as I, if I were running this place, I would have fresh snacks for people and I would tell them when they came in,

there's snacks over there. If you need anything, which I was doing for a while, you have to agree. And I don't remember that, but I keep saying, we have to agree. I remember all the bags of chips and everything that you guys were, would open like raccoons. I do remember to be fair, raccoons. I do remember. To be fair, raccoons and humans opened ships this evening. Also sometimes the Funyuns went bad too. None of us like the Funyuns. That was harder to tell.

The Funyuns went bad. I ate the Funyuns. You were probably the only people. I ate the Funyuns. But you didn't shoot the W, right? I, I, I, no. I ate the Funyuns, who let the dogs out? But I didn't eat the Tavern Mix.

The Tavern, the huge tubs of tavern mix. That's that's a cool up Costco error. Yes. No, no, no one ever liked it. And then you got then you got these interlopers come in here who I allow to use my studio because because Brett's house is near a fire zone. And so these interlopers come in here. I'm not prepared to have guests or whatever they go like,

hey, can we use your place? But why aren't you prepared? Because this is not their usual place. But why aren't you always prepared? This is not their beautiful life. I'm, you know, I have a guest room. I'm not prepared necessarily for the guests to call me and say, can I stay there?

Do you have a fully stocked refrigerator in your guest room? I could have one by the end of the day. Okay, I'm gonna prepared necessarily for the guests to call me and say, can I, can I say that fully stocked refrigerator in your guest room? I could have one by the end of the day. Okay. I'm going to stay there tonight. But I mean, a guest room, nobody has a fully stocked refrigerator in their guest room. But I could because there's a kitchen. Yeah. It's a home. This is basically an ADU that has its own kitchen. This is your office. This is a separate. I wish the kitchen wasn't even here.

Of course you do. Cause you hate the responsibility, but it's yours to bear. I can't do this. I feel like we've talked about this enough. Okay. And thankfully we stay true to ourselves and did not reach an understanding. The understanding though, I do appreciate Lauren

that you say you were wrong and that you fucked up. Men love to hold on to that part. Yeah, that part. I will. By the way, some people I think were very upset at me for the way I treated you on a previous episode. What'd you do?

I don't remember. I'm so abused. I think there were some people who said, I did that thing that men do to women. And my point is I didn't do it to a woman. I did it to you. But what was it? There's the Rue Goldberg thing. Oh yeah, fuck you with that shit.

Fuck you with your shit. This is my point. Okay, here's the thing. Mask off. Yeah, we look at the Discord sometimes. And I wanna say, You're on it. If you, I'm on the Discord, yeah.

But you didn't. I don't really know what Discord, actually I don't look at the Discord, because I don't know what Discord means. Well, sometimes I will. Discord is what we have amongst us. I do sometimes look at Reddit. Sometimes I will screen cap things and send it to you and that's the Discord. That's true.

But I just want to say on the Discord, if you would like to point out how stupid and wrong we are about everything, take that to Reddit. That's where it belongs. The Discord is supposed to be the nice place where you like us. I should get more into the Discord because the Reddit is toxicity. Yeah, Reddit is for hate listening. Sometimes there's nice people.

Toxicity, sometimes. I'm trying to sing toxicity. Toxicity. I don't really know this. Anxiety. What is, I don't know that song. It's Doji. Oh no, I was.

That didn't help. That's a great one, but I was trying. Oh stop, you're gonna love it. Doji-Do? I was trying to sing, isn't there a like, System of a Down? Oh, God, I'm Foster Brooks over here. System of a Down.

You think it's going one way. Oh, this is her new single that has, yeah. Wait, so- Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes, sir. Three bags full. Anxiety wool? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Three bags full. So it's a sample of somebody that I used to miss. Some song that we used to sing.

I feel like my internet is out. This is making me anxious. I don't like to hear it. Turn this off. So rap music makes you anxious? The subject matter of that particular rapping song made me anxious. I love it. It has the word anxiety in it I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah I'm looking up what I'm what I'm trying to find but I believe my internet is out and it just didn't go out

Yes, that was profound. Yeah, I'm looking for what I tried to find So everything's everything's knocked out here. Everything sucks. Can we agree? Everything's hard and difficult. Yeah, why? Why is it like that? Why does it have to be me? Very odd, and you know what?

My AV person called this morning before the internet worked. You have an AV person? Yes, he like hooked everything up here. I have, my internet went out. We had to completely. Keep track of your internet. We had to completely reset it.

Hold on a second. Excuse me Lauren, one second. No, we had to make a whole new thing. Oh no, Lori. What? What are you talking about? He keeps track, he gives you alerts. So there's some guy who's just like,

oh Scott's internet's not working. Hey buddy, wifi went out. Yeah. Hey buddy, a wifi went out. Yeah. Hey, get ready for wifi no more. You're gonna be able to watch your show, bud. That's a really good impression of him. Are you doing an email right now? Uh oh.

You'll have to put on one of your DVDs, bud. No, he has, for all of his clients, he has alerts when he sees our internet going down. Oh shit, an alert. The circle. And then he'll like try to- Oh, an alert! Try to see if it's a continuing problem,

he'll like, you know, try to fix it. Did you all see the circle? Yeah. Why is your desk pushed against- Oh, I got the alert! Why is your desk pushed against the window? Is it cause you got new shades? Look at something else that's new in the room.

Cause your future's so bright? Look at something else what? That's new in the room. Hold on, hold on. That credenza? That credenza. Yes. That credenza? That credenza. Yes. That credenza!

That, that, that, that, that, woo! What does that mean? Why don't you come to your senses? So anyway, I bought this off of Etsy. You did? Yeah. Did you pick it out? Yeah.

This is interesting, isn't it? That is, I, yeah, it is. This feels like a Paul thing to do. It absolutely is. Yeah. I bought this off of Etsy. You thought I need a credenza. No, no, no. Let's go through this. And it's made of yarn. Is that correct?

The thing I was about to say is going to answer all of your questions. Oh, how interesting. Guys, guys, guys. Let's OK. We're all are we all still head up over the snack? He knows all my questions, but let's hear how it's going to all of your questions regarding why I picked this. Yeah. I have a lot that you can't even think of. I puff a lot.

I puff a lot. Okay. Would it surprise you to learn that there is a phonograph in there? Absolutely. And that is why I picked it. So those little speakers? Yeah, those are speakers.

Wow. And unfortunately, they delivered it and it does not work properly. Huh, that doesn't sound like Etsy to me. Yeah, no, that's... So now they are in the process of trying to find a replacement that does work. Replace the whole thing? It's like a vintage thing, or they made that?

Yeah, it's from the 60s. Is it because the phonograph is so integrated into it that you have to replace the entire thing? They actually had a person who repairs phonographs take a look at it before they sent it to me and he thought it was working correctly and then I played him what the issue is basically one of the speakers constantly cuts in and out. That's not good.

And he said he didn't have any idea why it would be doing that. And now why- Because it's broken? And like that's his one job but okay. And why did you want- The AV guys looking at this guy, like what a creep. Randomly want a phonograph. Well, so I've had a phonograph player.

Now we keep saying phonograph, yes. You mean record. Record player. But do we mean record player? Yes, record player. Okay. Because I'm picturing that big old horn at the top of that little dog list. This also has an A-track player. That's a Victrola. Thank you.

This has a working A track player thank God as an inoperable radio so two of the things don't work but I didn't do a good job when he tested it out what if they fix it to drag him but what if they fixed the radio and you get like read him to filth you get like old 60s broadcasts where it's like oh my god things are gonna go crazy for you starting right now all right get told their broadcasts where it's like, Oh my God, things are going to go crazy for you. Starting right now. Their broadcast directed to him. Yes. Would that be scary?

No, it would be for sure. What if I got tomorrow's broadcast today? Scott, there's going to rain tomorrow. Scott, you better stay inside. It's like that show. So it's going to rain two days from now. That show with Kyle Chandler. Yeah.

Yeah. Early, early, early edition. Yeah. I, if I remember correctly, this little girl from my town was on that show. And she was like, she didn't go to my school, but she was like my friend's friend, you know? She went to the other school.

Were you jealous? And she just seemed so cool and she was on that show. The end. Is she still working? I have no idea. Let me go look that up. Well, the internet's out. Dee doo dah, can't do it.

Were you trying to look up that little girl? Sorry. Sorry, I'll never find her. I have to remember her name, can't. Have to look at IMDB dot can't do it. Were you trying to look up that little girl? Sorry. Sorry, I'll never find her. I have to remember her name. Can't have to look at IMDB, can't. Just look up, just watch every episode of early edition. Yeah, great solution. Until she shows up.

How many seasons did that run? If I had to guess, 23. Kyle Chandler. That's a little slow. Kyle Chandler, underrated, okay. We need to- He's our new Green Lantern. We need to pre, okay.

That's right. That's highly rated, okay? We need to- He's our new Green Lantern. We need to, okay, I guess he's highly rated. Okay, but I think he's a wonderful actor. He's charming, he's adorable and fun to watch, and Friday Night Lights loved it so much. Yep. I liked it when they would throw the football and it would like go in the air and then someone would catch it.

Oh, so it was pretty exciting. I never thought I would like that show because I don't care about football, yet that show was so good. Lauren, that happened to all of us, I think. Yeah. I remember when Jan show because I don't care about football yet that show was so Lauren that happened to all of us I think you know that I remember when Janie and I that show came out on DVD when the net early Netflix days whoa When Janie and I first moved in together and it was a big that was a big thing for us like why we binge the shit

Out of that and the only time we had a TV in the bedroom. And we would lie in bed and watch TV. In the bedroom. I recently added one to my bedroom. I have been a staunch no TV in the bedroom person since college. I mean, I always had one when I was younger, but as an adult.

And added one, let me say, I fucking love it. I fucking love it. I don't see a problem. Tell that to Gula because we're not allowed. I know and I always have understood the not allowed thing. It's always been the thing. My parents have never had one in their room and I've always been like, you just don't have one in there.

I don't know what we're so afraid of. It's wonderful. I got one of the ones that looks like art, you know? And I love that. I made a gallery wall of paintings around it. It looks really cute. And I just fucking at the end of the day, I'm like, yeah, it's my time to shine. I still, I get, I totally get it.

And I've had a TV in the bedroom before and I, when I lived alone and I feel like. When you live alone, that's, that's fine. Who cares? Yeah. I know, but that's almost worse. I think because it's like when you live alone You're never you're more prone to just be like I'm just gonna lay here and watch this shit all day And then it's like that gets yeah, I really like

The separation yeah, I really I tend to agree bedroom is for sleeping and fucking That's right. I'm gonna tell you the TV is not dressing stop and sleeping for happening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so it's not oh really it's not stopping either of those things Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's not, oh, really? It's not stopping either of those things? Nah, going great. Hell yeah. Oh, thanks for the high five, Lord.

No. It's a normal thing to say after a high five. Look, we have to- Thanks for the high five. We have to take a break. Okay. Okay, we'll be right back. Hey, Paul. What? Creating really great retail experiences is tough.

I just wanted to tell you that. You're preaching to the choir because I am taxidermy and bugs and people are not biting. It's great. And you know what? Preaching to the choir is the worst way to preach because you have your back to the rest of your, what do you call them, patrons? Yeah, patrons.

Yeah, every church is a Patreon. Patrons of the religion. Well, you know, as- Hold on a second. What? What's the setup of the church in your view? In my mind, the choir is behind the preacher. Oh, see, I, to me, it's that the choir is behind the preacher. Oh, see, I the to me it's that the choir is behind the patrons in

the choir loft. Oh, see, I think we went to two very different churches. I sure did. If I went to the church hard knocks. If I had to guess the expression is because the preacher has his back to the the rest of the people watching. Right. In any case, it's tough creating really great retail experiences, especially with multiple stores, teams of staff, fulfillment centers, separate workflows. Paul, it's a lot. But with Shopify Point of Sale, you can do it all without complexity. Yep.

Shopify's Point of Sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across how many locations would you guess? 999? No, actually a thousand. I was so close. Yours? Oh, price is right rules. You probably win. Imagine being able to guarantee the shopping is always convenient. Endless aisle, ship to customer, buy online pickup in store, all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close

the sale every single time. It was fun to imagine that, thank you. Oh yeah, in your mind palace is that where you're doing it? Meh. Yeah. Let's face it, acquiring new customers, it's expensive. But with Shopify POS, point of sale, not the other one, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first-party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. But this is not proven. As a matter of fact, Paul, it It's proven based on a report from EY businesses on Shopify POS see real results like 22% Better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9 uplift in sales on average relative to the market set

Surveys maybe entertainment yeekely. I said surveyed instead of surveyed fun. I made It's a new way to pronounce it survey Survey says? Surveyed. Want more? I know you do Paul. I do I do. Check out shopify.com Freedom all lowercase. Okay and learn how to create the best retail experiences without complexity shopify.com Freedom! Shopify, thanks for giving money. All caps lock a break. And Shopify, we want to thank slash for allowing his name to be in your web address.

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All rules are available in the caption of the sweepstakes post. And we're back. Yeah, okay, I was gonna say that. Why don't you join us? Go ahead. We're back. Do you wanna do it solo? Shut up.

I'm just talking over it. And we're back. Love that. You did it perfectly. I love that for you. Thanks. Are people still saying that? Yeah.

I don't know, I mean, it didn't sound old. Are people still saying it's giving? Yes. Yes. You like that one on TV a lot? Well, that, that's the thing. TV's always had a step because they, they film TV episodes months and months before they come out and then slang is but not years and white people co-opting AAVE that is now advertisements and stuff. So, you know that we've taken it too far. And now they when it turns up in a commercial, we'll wait for it to steal the next cool word.

Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Let's come up with some words right now. Some slang words. I'm just not good at that. What about what about like chili? Chili could mean something like, oh, that's cold. But like, you know how, how, if something's cool, if something's cool, that means it's really great or whatever.

I feel like that. Let's say it, yeah, maybe chili. But I meant it not chili, like with a Y, I meant it with an I. All right, that's confusing, I think. That's chili. Oh, what about when people thought, Cone carne.

Child. People, like white people would see child and they wouldn't know how to pronounce it. So they would say chili. Say chili. Say chili or chile. That's crazy. It's so fucking funny. Don't you worry, don't you worry, chile.

Ooh, chile. So guys, I felt like a super dab the other day. What'd you do? You put on a cape? Yep. I flew around the room. You took off your glasses for once. So I think I don't know whether people pressured Clark Kent to take off his glasses. Come on. You probably look pretty good. Do you ever think about contacts?

Like take, take it. It's kind of hot without the glasses. Wait, real quick. With that costume on? I just have an issue that we didn't fully finish. Oh, yeah. So I don't really know why the phonograph precludes you from putting your desk back to how it was.

You can't get in there. It's pushed against the wall, and you can't be on your desk. They had to deliver it. And then they put up new blinds. And so I was getting stuff out of the way. Do you miss being able to work at your workspace? I never work at that desk anymore. You never work at that desk anymore.

Because I don't, I, that, that desktop computer does is inoperable now. You should go sell it to Apple. You can do that. What do you mean it's inoperable now? Like how long has it been inoperable? Year and a half. You can sell it.

You can sell it. It's a long time that they'll give you a laptop. They're gonna give you money for that. I do too, so what? I don't care. You're not special. I know you don't care, can I sell it? Yeah.

Okay. Great. And give me the money? No. You just don't care. It's just sitting there. I mean, she's got you there. So why should you get the money if you don't care? So I got a laptop and I assumed I would use the desk,

but it's just so much easier to be speaking of like, just be asked to the couch. Yeah, just be on the couch. So in that couch, when he stoned on in that couch. So in any case, whoever made that up, thank you.

That's very helpful. Santiva, go crazy. Into couch. Santiva, go crazy. So I don't know whether we were talking about this on mic, but remember, Cool Up went out of town. And I was- We weren't talking, but I did hear about it

on Elizabeth Lame's podcast that they went and had a mahjong weekend. Yes, so they went and had a mahjong weekend. I was tasked with all the normal duties with our daughter. And, um. Avoid buying snacks. With plenty of snacks. I'll give a plug right now for Elizabeth.

She ever wants a snack? We have so much. We have pouchies. Is that what you want? You want a pouchie? I wouldn't want a pouchie. Elizabeth Lames. What's it is?

Fruit. Foutchy pouchy. Vegetables. Foutchy pouchy. It's all vaccinations. Elizabeth Lames podcast is called Nobody's Listening Right. And I love it. It's with her and her husband, Andy Rosen. It's really funny. And Lame's podcast is called Nobody's Listening Right, and I love it. It's with her and her husband, Andy Rosen.

It's really funny. And they do now they do a daily podcast called Nobody's News. Yes, Psychic Andy. And every day I listen to this Monday through Friday and they have a 30 minute thing about like news stories, big and small. And it's very-

Why do you say you're too busy to do my shows? I'm driving to your fucking house when I'm listening to it to kill you. I am too busy to do your shows. I have so many projects, you don't even know anything about me. So, so I was tasked with doing everything, getting the snacks, everything, but one of the things was I was to take her to ballet class.

Oh yeah, cause you were worried about the ponytail. I was worried about the ponytail because the teacher says that the kids have to have their hair in this very specific bun. And- How is that gonna do that? Is it, oh, it's for ballet? For ballet, yeah.

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? Ballet bun. It's a big part of ballet. Yeah. So I was stressing out. So cute. I was stressing out about it a little bit. I think I mentioned this to you off mic and you mentioned it to cool up off mic. I did. And then she off mic came to me and said, Hey, you don't. You mean real life? Yeah. IRL. You don't have to worry about that. Just put it in a ponytail. I was like, hell yeah. Yeah. So, went to ballet and she did the best she's ever done. Wow. She didn't stress out about the separation because we're not allowed in.

Yeah. There's a monitor we can watch, but she just said like, after I come back to you? I said, yep. And she went right in. So I come back to you, I said, yep. And she went right in and then did, I was watching on the monitor. She did everything that she, usually she's like sitting there

and not participating for a lot of it and just watching everyone else do it. And this time she was up there doing leg lifts and all sorts of stuff. That's so great. Do you think it was the ponytail? I think it was the pony, just give her this confidence. I think it was the dad energy.

It's free. But just dad energy of wine. Dad weekend, yeah. But then here's, so that's fine. I conquered that. But then here, this was a big one. Go look at it. Cool Ops out of town.

Yeah. She is downstairs and she tells me, I'm gonna go upstairs because I think I'm gonna pee and poo. Great. And as a- The cool up stuff? Oh, okay. Yeah, this is gonna break.

Why are you, why, okay. I don't know why you're telling us this. Because this is a milestone, Paul, because she goes upstairs then and- Wait, I'm sorry. This is, Emmy said this. Yes, Emmy said this. I was kidding when I said close.

You thought it was cool Up who said this? I did think it was. I'm gonna go upstairs. I think I'm gonna pee and poo. I feel like most of the time, can we just across the board say that when adults say something about going to the bathroom, they wouldn't say, I'm gonna pee and poo.

You just say, I'm gonna poo. If you're gonna talk about one of them. Also, I just say, I'm establishing. Are you saying she's out of town? If you're pooping, You're saying. You're not saying I'm also going to pee. You're saying the people that we know would never say that.

Adults. A good point. Okay. I stand by my disingenuous expression. You think I'm going to say I'm going to pee and poo? I wouldn't put a basket. Yeah. I wouldn't say that.

I try not to give too much information when I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah, just poo. By the way, Paul, you mentioned- No, but I will sometimes say, my stomach hurts, I have to poo. Yeah. Okay, sure. So you only poo when your stomach hurts? No, the piss takes life.

You save it up until your stomach hurts? Oh no, I see what you're saying, no. By the way, Paul, you said that you wanted video of our kids cursing. Yes. And I offered you, my daughter says perfect poop a lot because that is a brand of dog thing.

Dog thing. Like dog food. Laxative. Yeah, sorry, it helps our dogs poo, which we sprinkle onto the food every day. Sure. I offered that and you were- Perfect poo every day?

You turned your nose up at it. No, I wanna hear kids saying fuck. This morning she did say- I usually miss it with the recording. So yeah, I'll try to catch it. No, I want to hear kids saying fuck. This morning she did say. I usually miss it with the recording. So this morning she did say. I'll try to catch it. Jesus. Oh, that is.

Holly says Jesus. That is. Does she really? Yeah, and she says, what the heck? Cause we say that a lot. What the heck is a constant. But then her teacher said she can't say, we don't say heck.

And I was like, some people say we don't say heck. No, you say heck. I think heck's pretty good in terms of the other things we might be saying. No, she's always like, ay-ay-ay, what the heck? I think hacks pretty good in terms of the other things that we might be saying. No, she's always like, I, yeah, yeah, what the heck? Yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah. But today was like, Jesus. I was like, very funny.

There's a video, one of my favorites of all time, because everyone's probably seen on Instagram a compilation of kids cursing. And my favorite one, and I see it a lot, and I enjoy it every single time, is some little kid, you can't see their face, they have a hoodie on, like an adult hoodie on their head

that's just hanging like a cape. And they're just walking away from the camera going, oh fucking damn it, oh fucking damn it. And that has creeped into, that is now my response to things when things are going wrong. Oh fucking damn it. Oh fucking damn it. Back to the original story,

Emmy says she wants to go upstairs and pee and poop. Now over the past week or so, we have like a little training toilet that she's wanted to sit down on. And then she sits on it for 20 minutes and doesn't do anything. But it's like getting her used to it or whatever. Yeah.

So, but this time she says, I wanna go upstairs because I think I wanna pee and poo. I think I want to. Yeah. We go upstairs, she sits down on it with her diaper on. Oh no. And I'm like, sure, whatever you wanna do. But then she goes, I wanna take my diaper off.

Takes it off, has me read her three books. And I'm thinking this is another one where nothing's gonna happen. She's even like half standing during most of this. And I'm like, shouldn't you be sitting all the way down? At one point I finished the third book and she goes, uh-oh, and I looked down and there's pee everywhere. She's peed a little bit because she's half standing up.

She's peed a little bit on her sock, but it's in the toilet. First time. It's amazing. Cool Up wasn't there to see it. Good for you. We did it. Good job. We did it. Good for you. We did it. Good job.

We did it, Joe. Congrats. We did it, Joe. She did it in a sort of a White Lotus season one sort of way. Yeah. She was not entirely. She was exhibiting her privilege. Oh my God.

Mike also had a dad weekend. I was gone. Oh. And he was tasked with taking both kids to a birthday party. And it was at my gym, like that little play place. Yes, where Emmy loves to, she makes us all do circle time from my gym all the time.

What's circle time? Circle time is the first thing they do at my gym, which is they go circle time and all the kids are in a circle and then they have a series of exercises that they do led by the teacher and Emmy has memorized it and makes us do them Wow That's really cute like the viral video of the guy lip-syncing to the safety instructions on the plane. It's a lot like that Yes, I have a story by the way

I'll just quickly say that this was for my friend's daughter You're turning six, but Holly's three and and three quarters now and so she was the youngest one there was like all six year old girls and then Holly and um and then Gigi who was just you know making it hard for Mike to do anything because she was crawling over the place and being freaking out um so but there was like a zipline like she's one holder and it was just like and he was trying to help Holly and there was a zipl line and all the kids were like lined up to do a crowding around to do it. And then the birthday girl was asked who should go first.

And she said, I want Holly to go first. And she chose her. It was so sweet. And Holly was so special. And then she got to do it first. And she was the littlest kid there. And it wasn't a thing where they were like, let's sacrifice the young one.

I don't know if this is safe. I was like, I want to do this, but I'm not sure about it. Let's put this dipshit up. And then the birthday girl was wearing a cat dress, which Holly really wanted to I bought her the exact was from Amazon. And during the cake part, the she was like, the birthday girl was like, let's sing happy. I want you to sing happy, like a kitty. And so everyone's saying meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,

and Holly loved that so much. And then she was cosplaying basically as the birthday girl the next day with the same outfit and the balloon that she was able to bring home and just like acting it all out again. It was very cute and very sweet when the older kids are nice to the younger kids. I love that.

I love it. And he has just started like sor— Sorbet? Sorbet, yes. Oh, nice. No, she's always been like kind of a passive observer when kids are playing and like looking at them doing it and trying to figure out what's going on. She's sort of like, look at these fools. Don't they know the world is burning?

They're like ants to me. They don't even know each other. They start playing. But at ballet, we were waiting for the class to start and another girl walked in and she said, hi, do you want to read a book? And I like offered her a book and stuff. And I was like, all right, we're making steps.

That's really good. I love this shit. She still has a core memory of her little best friend who was born on the same day. They went to the zoo in Palm Springs when we were out for the fires and her best friends didn't want to share her crackers that they were feeding to the meerkat. So like it just pops up all the time. Like every two days we'll just be sitting there talking about something else and she'll go like, this girl's name didn't want to give crackers to the meerkat.

We're like, yes, honey. Yes. I mean, we're all learning how to share though. Like remember the next time you saw her, she brought a pouchy for you to share with you. You know, she doesn't remember that. Yeah. So she didn't want to share the crackers with the meerkats? With, with Emmy and the meerkat. Well now it's, now it's like in her mind, it's gone to like she wanted to steal

the mirror cat or something like it's like. I like where this is headed. Yeah. Here's my story, please. And I've told this on the stay at home podcast. So stories only I heard it new to the podcast only. Sure. So we. What's the reverse of a spanking if you tell a new story on the show? A butt slap where you slap with your butt You slap my hand with your butt. Yeah, that's right. I listen to every month. Thank you. Thank you so much

I love to hear about the cruise. Yeah. Well, so we were on this cruise the Jonathan Colton. I'm too busy buying crypto Just put a podcast on while you do that Why can't you put a podcast on why you do that. Why can't you put a podcast on while you do? Just check you out. Various crypto things. It takes up all my headspace. No, that makes sense. So, um, so I'm on the Jonathan Colton cruise, which is this wonderful. Just interrupt your story for just a second.

The last time we were recording, you sneakily ordered a sandwich and didn't invite us to... That's right. And now I'm realizing that I should do the same thing right now. Oh, that was wrong. Finally, I can tell the story to the listener. But I don't want to hear it again.

But what I'm going to ask of you both is, do you want anything? No, I'm fine. From where? I brought something. I don't know, anywhere. Anyway, go ahead. I have stuff that I'm gonna snack on, as I said before, but I'm curious where you're getting. I brought a protein shake.

Whoa. Whoa. By the way, your muscles are huge. Thanks, man. You're jacked and flazzed. I couldn't think of a word. Flaz? Flaz, I made it up. Flaz. You're jacked and flazzed. Yeah. I feel jacked and flazzed.

See, this is us creating- And that's how slang is invented. You're flazzed, man. I knew I could get jacked. I made it up. You're jacked and flazzed. I feel jacked and flazzed. See, this is us creating- And that's how slang is invented. You're flazzed, man. I knew I could get jacked. I never thought I could get flazzed. And so this is a personal victory. Yeah, you can't be flazzed alone. You're either jacked and flazzed or you're just jacked.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So once you get jacked, you're like, gotta get flazzed. Yeah. What if I ordered a big bucket of fried chicken? That'd be kind of fun. Are you serious?

I can't have snacks here. I'll gain too much weight. For lunch, I'm gonna have a big bucket of fried chicken. I'll just be kind of fun. Are you serious? I can't have snacks here, I'll gain too much weight. For lunch, I'm gonna have a big bucket of fried chicken. I'll just have a grease. I'm just saying for all of us. Yeah, sure. Fuck you. Everybody gets one leg.

Oh, yo, really? That's what I'm like? You've eaten over here several times, and we've shown you such horse brutality. Horse brutality? Horse brutality? That's what my friend would say all the time. It's a Rocky Horror thing.

OK. Are they you yell out? Yeah, yeah. It's a Rocky Horror thing you wouldn't understand. Do you remember when they tried to Rocky Horror the room? They just decided, yeah, we're going to do that same thing. Yeah. We're going to throw spoons and shit like that. Back and forth. You can't just.

They would do the exact Rocky Horror stuff, too Yeah lips so What about shake Shack, huh there was uh, you Just what happened on the just text each other Shake Shack sounds kind of great. So it's a it's a it's a great cruise the singer songwriter, Jonathan Colton, started this in 2011,

and it's been going ever since, getting bigger and bigger. Now it's the whole boat, and it's really fun, great vibe. And so Janie came with me the first time. I've done it a bunch of times. Can I ask, did you guys enjoy the cruise part of it? Because our friend, I was thinking about you last night, because our friend said he and his husband, or fiance rather, are about to go on a cruise.

And I was like, I wonder if Janey and Paul had a, I mean, you've been on several, but I wonder if Janey had a good time. Yes, now here's, I like being on the boat. I really liked that part of it the most, is being on the ocean. I never previously I'd never gotten off at the stops because I had too much anxiety about getting

back to the boat. Yeah. I didn't. I thought like it's a whole what if I can't find it? It's a whole rigmarole. And if I'm if I'm late, I'm stranded somewhere. And but Janey, of course, was saying, No, I want to get off at the stops. I'm not gonna just stay on the boat the whole time. So I went with her and it was of course so much easier than I could have imagined. So we go to St. Martin, um, which is, uh, a complete, like their whole thing is, um, tourism. So it's just a complete, it's just a town built for tourism.

And so, or it is is it has evolved into that. Right. So we go there. It was my least favorite place that we went. But I'm glad that we did it. And we had we actually had a really nice time. The islands in the islands. We respected everyone's neck. And we went and had lunch at this like dive bar by the beach.

It was really fun. What'd you eat? I had a burger. I had a cheeseburger, dare I say, in paradise. Oh, OK. So the Earl of Sandwich would have been very pleased with your order. 100%.

100%. And I went to his statue. And of course, I rubbed his toe for good luck. It's much brighter than the rest of the statue because everyone rubs it. But so you have to take a water taxi from the port to the beach. Is that to denote water? Yeah. Okay. Well, this water taxi getting into the, whatever it was, the getting into the ocean. Yeah. Whatever it was. Yeah. You're, you're imagining a water taxi when it's first placed onto the water.

Right. Well, we got there, uh, where it was already in progress. It was already on the water on the way from the port to the beach, uh, on the water taxi. They, they do an announcement. My favorite movie on the water taxi. Okay. They make an announcement. My favorite movie. On the Water Taxi. Okay. They make an announcement. How do they make this announcement over a PA system? No, they walked up and whispered in every person's ear. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was also an announcement, more of a secret that we all had to spread. Yeah. Telephone. Yeah. You're a traitor. You're a traitor. Yeah, I'm a traitor.

So. Yeah, wait, so the traitors are gonna go crazy. There is, it's over a traitor. Yeah, I'm a traitor. Yeah, wait, so the traitors are gonna go crazy. There is, it's over a PA. And so when I hear the PA, I'm looking around to see the person making the announcement. And I don't see anybody with a microphone, but there is one of the crew members,

two turntables. One of the crew members. How do you like this by the way? I like it fine. Okay, good. I like it fine, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like old times.

Yeah. It feels good. Yeah, this is what the show is. This is what the, we're getting back to our roots. Yes. Old times. Do you know where that's from? Yeah, from Annie Hall.

Yes. Annie Hall? Mm-hmm. Great guy. Great guy. Annie Hall? He's great. Yes. Annie Hall? Mm-hmm. Great guy. Great guy. Annie Hall? He's great. Yeah. I've never seen the movie.

Great guy. He's great. So I see this, one of the crew is, seems to be making the announcement. Sans microphone. Okay. But it sounds... Are you over there? What was that face you just made at your phone?

Scott added me to a group order over AIDS, which I've never seen. I think you should order something. You got very excited. Well, I've never seen such a thing, but didn't work. So I realize this gentleman is lip syncing this announcement, but he is not fully lip syncing it. He is sort of, he's giving it 95%. Oh, we gotta give a hundred. But I feel like he's holding back in the full annunciation of the words. So it's almost like he's making fun of it. And I realized, Oh, this guy has heard this announcement one billion times and to amuse himself and himself only and I'm the only one looking at him and he's not looking at me.

Do I amuse you? Am I like a clown to you? Can I say we should remake Goodfellas? No we should. But that guy was out of line. Joe Pesci, his character in that scene. I feel like he was... If somebody says you're funny, you know what they mean.

You're telling a funny story. I know. I feel like he was being unreasonable. He's being unreasonable. Then he goes, I'm fucking with you. But he's not. But then he wasn't really. But he kept up the bit until his friend Henry Hill was unnerved.

His good friend, by the way. His good friend, they came up together. Yeah, I didn't like that. I didn't like. I did. If anyone in a movie ever does anything I don't like, I don't like it. Guess what?

I didn't like that. I was on his side when the one guy kept saying, go get your shine box, and then he killed him. Yeah, no, of course I would kill him too. That guy, he should have known you're crossing a line. Tommy's being very gracious. Very gracious. He let you get a few shots in.

Sure. But you went too far. You went one step too far, and so I agree, kill him. Yeah, but could have been nicer to his friend Henry. Is there more to this story about the lip syncing fellow? No, it's one of the classic stories that I tell where it's a very short story, made very long, made very long by the interruptions.

And then at the end, it's sort of, I'm the villain for telling a story that wasn't really that interesting. You're not a villain. You're a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful guy. I do say, thank you. I wish you'd looked up from your phone when you were telling me that. I do have to say we need to take a break. But when we come back, we're gonna play a three trick. How's that sound?

It sounds great. It sounds really good. We'll be right back. Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Karla Gallo, and we're here to bring you- Boneheads. The official Bones Rewatch podcast. That's right, we're watching all the episodes of Bones, starting with episode one, and we are the right people to do it.

I play Dr. Temperance Brennan, and I met Carla 16 years ago on set. I played Dezzy Wick. Tune in every Wednesday to hear all our behind the scenes stories, conversations with cast and crew, and our favorite moments. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out wherever you can listen to. Your next listen is out November 11th, wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back and I feel almost embarrassed to say

it's a Bustero. Today's Bustero is submitted by Yoni Gordon I didn't even know what you were gonna do. It's crazy. Really didn't I was like what's good to get Matt? This is a classic feature. This is like coke classic. It is the original. It's the OG. It's just good. This is called Jitterbug this game involves singing the first few bars of the Wham song, Wake Me Up, just the snaps and the word Jitterbug. Each player needs to go around to go round Robin. Each player needs to go around Robin. We all have to do it.

We all have to go around Robin while each player is also going round Robin. Yes. Wow. Okay. I know, but we've done it before. It seems like a lot of circling Robin. In place of the phrase, in the place of the word jitterbug, you have to place a different three syllable word or phrase without missing a beat in the song. If you miss a word, you're out. Okay.

Wow. The stakes are high. Stakes are high, as Dale has told us. So we get the snaps going, we start. Whoever starts, starts with jitterbug. Then it's onto the next person. And we're going clockwise? Let's go clockwise.

Let's do it. So it's a three syllable. Word or phrase. Word or phrase. Word or phrase. Yes. Does it have to be in the exact meter of like with the syllable stress that jitterbug is?

Are we going to be that picky? It has to fit. I think it's better if it's exact. Something just popped in my head. Bugs bony. Bugs bony. You've definitely said that before. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's fine.

That's what I'm gonna say. You can stress it however you want. Oh, okay. Okay, let's do it. Yeah. Okay, one, two, three, and. No, why are you, what are you doing? Cause the way I counted it off.

Jitterbug. Jitterbug, okay, right? Yep. I was gonna say it first. Bugs buddy. I'm out. Let's keep going. Come on, come on, come on.

Jitterbug. Let's take it seriously. OK, ready? And jitterbug. Jitterbug. Sunglass hut. Sunglass hut. No, wait, we only do one?

Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. No, we're going to hear it more than once. Because we did jitterbug twice. I think honestly, if we're up to me. You only say jitterbug once. We would do jitterbug three times. That's what I wanted. That's what I wanted to know.

But I thought you were going to say once. Okay. Let's do jitterbug three times. Then your word once. Then we go to the next word. That's right. Okay. Jitterbug.

Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitter Okay. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Phonograph. Mandible.

Toilet seat. Devil egg. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace.

Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace.

Fireplace. Fireplace. Fireplace. Devil egg. Fireplace. Butter bean. Butter face. Battery. Shoeless Joe. That was great. Oh shit. Now I'm out because I'm laughing at shoeless Joe.

What made you think it was shoeless Joe? I don't know, I literally was just, words were just coming out. I don't remember why that even happened. I love it. Oh, shit. Now I'm out because I'm laughing at you, which is Joe, what did you think? I don't know. I literally was just coming out. I don't remember where that even. I love it.

Uh, all right. Here we go. Ready and nine men out. Rivers edge. Monkey paw. Razor blades. Blue velvet. Candy bar. Razor blades. Blue velvet. Candy bar. Apocalypse now. Out. All right. All right.

I have Dennis Hopper on the brain because of Jeterbug. Jeterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. David Byrne. Talking Heads. Big Suit. Paul's the winner. I won! No, now he has to do three in a row and prove he can win. Okay. What do you mean now?

Ready? Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Last one. Jitterbug. Go Paul. Tabletop. Pinball machine.

Ah. So we have no winner. Should we do it again? Going the other way? Yeah. Oh, the other way. Who starts now? I start, Paul goes second. He wasbug. Jitterbug. Table lamp. Hockey stick. Hockey puck. There we go. Heavy door. Cookie time. Mario. Princess Peach.

I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused.

I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. I'm a little confused. Heavy door. Cookie time. Mario. Princess Peach. Oscar Grouch.

Okay. It's a me. Gopher train. Mario. It was right there. I did it already. No, you said it's a me. I said Mario first. Oh no, I'm out.

But I said go for train. I don't know what that means. A go for train. Yeah, go for train. Okay, it's you two. Oh boy, you two. Jitterbug. Jitterbug.

Who's going first? Me. Jitterbug. Christianitterbug. Who's going first? Me. Jitterbug. Christian Church. iPod ear. iPod ear.

That's a condition. That's a condition we used to get. It's like cauliflower ear. All right, now you have to do three in a row. Ready? Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Did we say it three times?

Go. Swimming pool. Bikini top. No. Flippy flop. Flippy flop. Ah, Flippy Flop. Do you remember John Kerry running for president in the Republican convention?

They all had flip flops. No, why? Because he's a flip flopper. He's a flip flopper. Oh, shut up. Oh my God. What a stupid country. Of course, I'm still wearing my bandage. That's... Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! FreedomUSA at gmail.com. We do need three-chairs. We love to hear from you. If you'd like to leave us a voicemail, which we use every other Wednesday on our Thremium episodes, you go to the famous website, hagclaims8.com.

It's so famous. What are the most famous? I can't believe it's our website. I know. What are the most famous websites in the world? Who'd you say? Google.com. Google.com is number one with a bullet.

Amazon.com maybe? Home.com. Google.com's number one with a bullet. Amazon.com, maybe? Homepage. Homepage.com? Homepage.com? Probably UCLA.edu. That's what I'm gonna say. Probably. Edu?

Probably. Porn.edu? Edu? I'm sure porn.com must be taken, but is porn.edu? Like edu, like it edges you. Do you get what I'm saying? No, I get edu. I get sure porn.com must be taken, but is porn.edgyou? Like edgyou, like it edges you. Do you get what I'm saying? No, I get you. I get you.

Porn.edgyou. Edges you. Edgyou, I get you. I love it when porn edges me. Edgyou porn. Edgyou porn for I've said. Edgyou. Okay, we gotta go.

No, not yet. So leave us a voicemail at hadglamesday.com and if you'd like to hear ad free episodes and the 3mium content, go to Comedy Bang Bang World, cbbworld.com, sign up on the Maximus tier. Also, you can hear that at Lemonada Premium. There you go. I forgot how you got to. They gave us the instructions, but my internet's out so I can't look it out Wow look it out

Look it out. Good. Look it out. I think it's pretty easy if you go to your Apple podcast or wherever you Also also on Tuesdays something very special happens if you're a freedom listener the old episodes of the show we release one a week on Tuesdays we call it three visiting on the twos and We release one a week on Tuesdays. We call it three visiting on the twos and I've been calling it that I'll be damned if it hasn't been a really fun thing that people have really sort of Taken a liking to I hope that they continue to be delighted by it because you will go to hell Who does I don't want to go there? That's gonna go to hell. I would go there for one day. I hope people aren't I hope God is not holding us to that Here's the thing if you go to hell? I would go there for one day. I hope people aren't, I hope God is not holding us to that. Here's the thing, if you go to hell,

they're talking about how you're gonna burn up. Does that mean you have like the same nerve endings and stuff after you die and stuff? Like, or are you like a spirit and you're like, this doesn't hurt at all because it's just passing right through me. Honestly, Scott, that's a fucking great question. It's a really good question.

It's a really good question. It's a really good question. You know what I mean? I'd love to explore further. Like you could just, if you're down there and you're like, ah, they keep in your mind like, oh, this is all fake. This is, yeah, it's all fake. I'm not a body anymore. Yeah.

I guess, are you a mind, maybe you're just a brain in a jar that's burning up? I don't know. Anyway, that happens on Tuesdays and. On Tuesdays we're brains in jars. The other thing I do want to mention to everyone out there is Paul F. Tompkins is going on tour very soon. It's very true. And he has some dates he wants to tell you about.

Paul, take it away. Starting April 23rd, I'm going on tour with Varietopia, my variety show. It is comedy, it's music, April 23rd, I'm going on tour with Varietopia, my variety show. It is comedy, it's music, it's other forms of entertainment, all mixed together. Is it puppetry of the penis? I did say other forms, right? Not all?

Not all. Okay, yes, it's other forms of entertainment. So you don't have to do puppetry of the penis. I don't like to spoil the show, but I will tell you right now, there's not gonna be any puppetry of the penis. Aw., I don't like to spoil the show, but I will tell you right now, there's not gonna be any puppetry of the penis. Aw. I know. But you did it before.

Shh. Oh yeah, that was that super secret show you said nobody could ever talk about. It was really embarrassing. What a weird thing that was real. Yeah. Puppetry of the penis. Then we made the Eiffel Tower. Boing.

Boing. It's just his boner. I mean, it's on the one hand. I'm the one that I love it. It's so hot. I'm curious, like how accurate could it ever have been? But on the other hand, I don't ever want to see it. I think I feel like I saw a picture of it once. I was like, I don't want to see it. Just the idea of, I don't like it. Anyway. So when does it start?

When did, what did, what did you know? When did you know it? It starts April 23rd in Iowa city, Iowa, and then we're hitting so many cities we're going to. We're going to, of course, New York, Philadelphia, Boston. Oh, yeah. We're going to we're going to Portland, Seattle. We're going to Chicago. We're going to Lakewood, Ohio, Royal Oak, Michigan.

So many places. We're doing 20 cities altogether, and we might add a few more later in the year, but go to- Go to Anchorage. That's interesting. Why are you saying that to me? Because I want you to go to Anchorage.

Why do you want me to go there so badly? I've set up a trap there. Why are you, why? Because I figured you would never go, so I set up a nice trap. I'm definitely not going now. Now it's just laying there. Well, you go get in it.

Get in that trap. OK, go to Paul F. Tompkins dot com slash varietopia. All the links are there. I'm really looking forward to this. We did our first big tour last year. So much fun going back out again, all new show. Please come see us.

pauliftonkus.com slash feriatopia. Lauren, do you have anything you want to talk about? Right now, I don't. Yeah. Everything's private. Yeah, me too. Well, you can read Astonishing Spider-Man on the Marvel Unlimited app.

I'm still in the middle of that. And I believe issue 21 just came out. So go crazy. What is Spider-Man's Social Security number? Oh it's spider spider spider spider spider spider spider spider spider. Okay and what's Peter Parker's? Oh it's Peter Peter Peter. Come on. Is that how it works in the Marvel Universe? Yeah, yeah. Numbers are whatever the person that is saying them are. So everybody kind of could figure out everyone's social security number.

Yeah. Ben Grimm, Ben Grimm, Ben Grimm, Ben Grimm. Do they still have social security in the Marvel Universe? Yeah, that's the thing. Hopefully Spider-Man saved everyone from that corrupt institution. I'm kidding of course. His Uncle Ben's still getting checks. Where's our shake shack?

It's coming. Anyway, that's going to be it for this edition of what I call The Three No's. Yeah, this was a good edition. We'll be back next week with a new edition. With an early edition, starring Kyle Chandler as Kyle Secor. Yes, as Kyle Secor and then Kyle Secor as Kyle Chandler. It's fun.

Yeah. Fun to think about. Boxing day. All right. We'll see you next time. Bye. This episode of 3Dim is brought to you bying.com, the official accommodation partner of MLB. Booking.com! Booking.yeah!

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available in the caption of the sweepstakes post. Hey everybody! That includes me! And me! Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our Thremium episodes.

In each Thremium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions be answered by your pretzel gang on lemonada premium. Subscribe to lemonada premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the apple podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know but I like him. Sir sir could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey Paul. Sorry about that. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab.

Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why did that crab do that?