Threedom - 'Ello, Nugget! It's Me, Jack Fruit!

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Paul, Scott, and Lauren discuss au jus, golf, and intrusive thoughts before playing The Great Debate. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, Georgia. Hi, David. What do you think the world needs more of? Well, the world always needs more podcasts. Didn't you used to have a podcast? Not only did I used to have a podcast, Georgia. It's coming back! David Tennant does a podcast with.

Season 3 is coming at ya! Okay, and who are your guests? Who are my guests? What about Russell T. Davis? What about Jamila Jamil? What about Stanley the Tooch Toochie? So it's really just you hanging out with your mates then? Yeah.

Come join me. David Tennant does a podcast with. Bye. Every week on Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso, I'm Sam Witherway, I invite an actor, author or filmmaker to come to the table and speak from the heart in ways you probably haven't heard them on the record before.

Some of my favorites are with Tom Hanks, Margaret Atwood, and Pedro Pascal. In recent weeks, I sat with Joaquin Phoenix, Mikey Madison, and Jesse Eisenberg, and only two of them gave me a panic attack. New episodes come out every Sunday morning, wherever you get your podcast. Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! I'm sick! Stop making fun of my neighbors!

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! In the Freedom In the Freedom This episode of Freedom Paul is singing now. The freedom is here. Ah.

Ah. That's an amazing run. Ah. Yeah. I love your runs. Ah. No, no, no. I know how to sing.

It's like this. Ah. Oh, I know how to sing. Ah. I know how to sing. It's like this. Oh, I know how to sing. I know how to sing. It's just like this. Like a turkey. In the intro, I was making Paul my neighbor

because I was creating a scene in which you were yelling at my neighbor. So we're all like neighbors in this scene. You were like a guy passing by and you're my neighbor who on their porch was coughing. And the guy walking out the street was like, stop coughing or whatever the fuck you were saying and they were making fun of his cough and then I was going I came out with my broom and I said stop making fun of my neighbor and I kind of threw the defense.

I want to live in this neighborhood. Because then you would be my neighbor as well. If you lived in this neighborhood you wouldn't be making fun of people who are coughing. It negates my neighbor thing if if you're also a neighbor, because then it's your neighbor. What if I was a neighbor that you didn't know yet? Sure. Fine, you are. A stranger's just a neighbor you don't know yet.

No. Let's redo this scene. Just know that in what it was. Let's redo it. You start coughing. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Hey.

Ha ha ha. Oh my god. Lauren, it's your turn. Stop making fun of my neighbor. I'm also your neighbor. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We cannot continue.

Do it again. Do it again. Okay, we're gonna redo the scene. Don't say anything else, just do it again. Lauren immediately picks up her phone. Just do it again. I. Don't say anything else, just do it again. Immediately fix our program. Just do it again. I said don't say anything else. Don't say anything else.

Do it again. Do it again. There is so little time. Do it again. Don't say anything else. All right, here we go. All right, here we go. All right. Stop coughing at my neighbor.

He's making fun of me for coughing. But I didn't remember what I said. Did I say stop making fun of my neighbor? You've said it twice now. Now go for your third time. Don't say anything else. Stop making fun of my neighbor. No, we're going to start it from the beginning.

We're going to start from the beginning. Stop making fun of my neighbor. No, no, we're going to start it from the beginning. We're going to start from the beginning. Stop making fun of my neighbor. I live next door to you too. Since when? Since just yesterday. Well, I didn't see you move in, dear. It's true, he did just move in. Oh, so stop making fun of your neighbor.

That's better. Wow. Have you guys? That is, that's worse. Have you started the welcoming wagon or anything? I just learned that you moved in. I wasn't here, so I didn't see a moving truck. What do you expect to be bringing? Muffins, pastries of some sort?

I can't bring anything. I'm unwell right now. I'm not going to bring anything because I'm not really that type of neighbor. What type of neighbor are you? The bitch kind. Hey, man, why are you making fun of my coughing? That's a weird thing to do. Yeah, you seem like an asshole. My second day in the neighborhood? Yeah, even your 50th day in the neighborhood.

What a weird thing to do. The minute you get somewhere you find the biggest, toughest person, you try to knock them down a peg. Wait, that's me? Yeah, that's you. Oh wow. Just to show you who's boss. Do you agree?

Um, I don't agree. I don't think you know him. This is Philippe. He's like one of the sort of sweetest guys we have. Did you invent the sauce that you dip it in? The ajuice? Did you invent the ajuice? Did you invent the contents of the sandwich or you just were the first person to dip? I was the first person to have a sandwich and say, I wish this were wet.

He was the first. There was no one who left their sandwich out in the rain or anything like that. They didn't wish it was wet. It would be wet. So wait, did you have a solution for it or just someone else created the Osprey sandwich? Excuse me, new neighbor. What's your name? My name is Ramon. Okay. Excuse me, new neighbor. What's your name? My name is Ramone. Okay, Ramone. Ramone.

Philippe. I'm sorry, Shamone, I mispronounced it. You mispronounced your own name? Yes. It's tough to say. I blame my parents. When Philippe here first said, I wish this sandwich,

do you say was wet or were wet? Were wet. I wish this sandwich were wet. Sure. Alarm bells went off across the world because it was a sentence that had never been said. So usually when that happens, that person becomes an inventor. So you probably never had that happen because you've never said something that was never said before. But so for everyone who's invented something, when they said it out loud, all the alarm bells went off.

Somebody from Webster's dictionary comes to your door. Was it Webster? Well, he's passed on. I know. It's his son. Webster. Webster Jr. The star of Webster.

Is he even smaller? Yeah, they get smaller. It's like a babushka doll. What are they called? Matryoshka. Matryoshka. Matryoshka. Matryoshka.

Matryoshka. Matryoshka. Matryoshka. How you do? So I, so this guy, little Webster shows up and he says, in a dumb waiter, these, yeah, he was in my house the whole time. He said, congratulations.

These words have never been put together before. Wow. What a thrill. Did you ask him who he was or you just knew? Oh, I knew who he was. Yeah, you could tell. Yeah, yeah, you could tell. He has a certain air. Yeah. He smells like an old dictionary. And so what happened was what

had happened was I was at a restaurant. I was eating a roast beef sandwiched. I asked for a side and I said surprise me. Just it could have been anything liquid or just, it could have been a side of potato salad. Yeah. I was thinking it would be like a side of potato salad. Right. This person behind the counter had it in for me. We'd had many confo-tongue before. Because you're a troublesome. Oh, so you assume I'm the trouble. I mean,

The guy who makes fun of people coughing. How would the guy behind the counter even know that you were troublesome, unless you had multiple interactions? I'm not troublesome. This guy is troublesome. And yes, it was a guy. I know that. Right?

Obviously. You're the guy I'm talking about. Yes. Do you guys go there together? No. But we have been there at the same time. We're just neighbors. So were you neighbors...

I stay on my porch, he stays on his that's right unless we go places But not together and if we go places we do walk on opposite sides of the street But in the same direction we don't people think we're having some sort of flirtation or now I feel like you guys do have some sort of Relationship that's not confined to your portrait. We don't have that okay, and you're new here So I think what is your name man? My name is the way that it goes, is my name, start to be. She does this every time.

It ends with A, and in the middle is a R. A-N-N-G-G-A-R. A-N-N-G-G-A-R. A-N-N-G-G-A-B-R-N-G-A. Bronga. Bronga. Are you sure that you've never become intimate or physical? I couldn't say for certain. Are you sure that we've never done that? I'm not sure.

In fact, I... Yeah, how do you like it when it's turned back around on you? I feel like you... You don't have all the answers. You're not sure? You wouldn't remember? You're holding hands right now across your porches. That's because we have long arms. So we don't fall all the answers. You're not sure? You wouldn't remember him? You're holding hands right now across your porches. That's because we have long arms.

So we don't fall down. Yes, two reasons. My arms so long, I fall down. His arms so long, he falls down. So we figured, what if we put him across? My arm's too short to box with God. Okay. So this guy behind the counter, his name is Mitchell.

Okay. Kind of a weird name. Yeah, and he's got a chip on his shoulder about it. A Mitchell chip. A chitchell. And this restaurant has four Mitchell chips. Four Mitchell chips. So pretty good. Okay. So that's a good rating. So if you get a Mitchell chip, you're good. If you get two Mitchell chips, you're great.

If you get three Mitchell chips, you're wonderful. And if you get four Mitchell chips, you're stupendous. So he gives me a side of au jus. We call it au jus. Okay because you had no idea. At this point it wasn't popularized. You had no idea. No I just saw it. Awww jus! It's just the jus.

And this is traditional au jus meaning the meat flavored. Brown gravy in a bowl. With water. And this guy thought, oh, I fucked him now. He said this to you or he thought this? He thought this, I can read minds. Was this one, wait, oh, hold on, hold on.

So I said. Oh, you can read minds? Some, some. Some, how many? I have to be around a person for 10 hours or more. Okay. In order to be able to read their minds. And how long have you guys been around each other? Oh, I mean Minutes I mean minutes

Hundreds of minutes hundreds of couple hours nine hours nine hours. Okay nine times six five hundred and forty Okay rent rent so yeah, weren't you singing that song from rent? I thought you were going to say already. Hey rent man. I never made you say rain man. 529,600 minutes. I never mean to say it. 529,000 minutes in nine hours. So I said naturally fucking Mitchell.

Naturally push the sandwich or wet as he does. So I said, naturally, fucking Mitchell. Naturally. I wish the sandwich were wet. As he does. And then I looked down at the au jus and I said, Mitchell, you don't even realize you've helped me out here. Is there any universe where you're not able to read Mitchell's minds? You're just imagining this. Mitchell has already created this wonderful type of sandwich and sent you the au jus saying he

always complains about his sandwich not being wet. This is a delicious way to make it wet. He's the inventor of this au jus sandwich. Okay. So you're saying my whole life is a lie? Yeah. Well, you're wrong. Can you move out of the neighborhood?

Can you move out of the neighborhood? No. And all three of us move into a house together uptown Well first, I think you'll need to get out of my dreams into my car. Okay done Well in your car Branga, what do you say it's my way or the highway take the highway up to the danger zone Of interest. Of interest. Because the interest is going to rise. It's a high mortgage rate right now. Let me ask you.

That's right. Okay. Here's a movie. Okay. Idea. Okay. The zone of Pinterest. Oh, interesting.

I think that's really good. I think that's really good. What if it's Chamon? It's the Twitter zone of Pinterest by MySpace. I don't mind it. Can if it's Chamon? It's the Twitter zone of Pinterest by MySpace. I don't mind it. Can we get Etsy involved? Twitter zone of interest.

Twitter zone of Pinterest. Twitter zone of Pinterest. Pinterest. By MySpace presented by Metta. Pinterest is when you just yell out Pinterest all the time. You can't control it. Yes. Yeah. Sounds good to me. All right. Well, at what point do we go back into our houses and not talk to each other again? Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam.

Thank you, ma'am. Little. Do you like it? Do you? Well, that was a lot of fun. We had so much fun being neighbors with each other. Welcome to Freedom. My name is Paul. I'm Lauren.

Come on, man. And that guy over there, his name is Scott. He don't talk a lot, but his name is Scott. What a name that he has got. That name being Scott. Take a verse. Hi, my name is Scott indeed. Sometimes if you prick me, I do bleed. Sometimes all the times I've run out of blood.

If you prick me, do I not sometimes bleed? If you prick me, do I not sometimes bleed? If the prick was very hard. I feel like we, if we edited this down, it would be stronger. Let me, let's at least do it. We'll try for opening night the way it is. And then we'll see how the audience reacts.

If you prick me, do I not sometimes bleed? Hey, I've thrown an old meat pie at you. Yum. Oh, it's old. pie at you. Yum. Oh, it's old. It's old, yeah. Reminds me of two snacks. Yeah, Scott to the catering. Did you only-

Ah! These meat pies are about 20, 23, you bitches. Lauren, real question. Do you only eat new food? Oh, that's pretty much my desire, I guess I should say. What's the oldest food you've ever eaten? Realistically, it was probably like a Twizzler or something that you know, where you're like, oh, that's harder than I want it to be. And then fantastically?

Fantastically, it was a unicorn brain. That's what I was hoping you were going to say. But an old one. It was not good. You get those fresh, they're really delicious. The glitter just oozes right out. And if you get on the barbecue, of course, put a slime marinade on it, like neon blue, something like that, and crunch into that.

The glitters pour out. You do get a lot of, if your unicorn was unhappy, it'll give you a stomach ache. So you wanna be careful that you're killing like a really happy unicorn when you get that. And kill them in the way that makes them the happiest. Yeah, like a- Like, autohorotic asphyxiation or something like that.

That's gotta be the way. That's your choice. Do you think- It'll be, it'll be so crazy when Scott dies that way and we're gonna go, I knew it. Yeah. It'll be so crazy. That's gonna be an amazing funeral.

Yeah, well to be- Everybody lined up to say, yeah, I knew it. And we won't be able to stop laughing. I knew it. Yeah. I have something to share with you. Don't do that then. You won't die that way. Okay. Speaking of eating, we have a deal. Speaking of eating a unicorn. Yeah. Let me find it. Let me find it. By the way, I just got a text. 12 people on this text chain.

Oh, there's more. Has it? No, 13 total. Oh, my God. The number keeps rising. Has it's not even a chain. This is the first time that this group of people has ever been texted. OK. The first entry in a text chain.

And do you know all the people on the chain? I assume so, but some of them just have phone numbers Okay. next to them. What does that say? But I assume these are relatives of mine. Yeah. This text is, this is being sent on this thread

because my phone is having a problem with me. But this is only for my cousin and then my cousin's name. I changed my appointment to February 12 at 2 p.m. is that good with you? Okay, so what just happened? One of my relatives texting every single person she knows in order to reach one of us? Whoa. Are you all okay with this? By the way, February 12th was weeks ago. Maybe 2026? What happened?

I don't know. This is a very odd text to get. Do you remember that when that thing was happening where you would get a text that was- No, not what I was thinking of. Okay. What was it? Oh, now you, not what I was thinking of. Okay. What was it? Oh, now you're interested?

I was never not interested. Now you're interested. Oh, now you need me? Oh, now you need me? You would get a spam text that was addressed to you and like... Yes. ...30 other people. With the phone number that was like almost yours.

Yeah. Yeah. And I got one of those that started with, the opening was, and I may have talked about it on the show, but it opened with something like, fuck you. Now that'll get my attention. Certainly.

To start a group thread with fuck you. By the way, I just got an alert that on our front door camera. Oh shit, an alert. That our- The circle. Our mailman. Yes. Who this names by name was seen. They know his name?

Or her? I guess what has happened is, here's what happened. When we got these cameras and they- Oh yeah, they were like, you think you're your mom. Yes. And that, but now they're, every single person is wrong. So you started naming people. We started naming people for the camera.

For a while it got- That's what, that's what big, big camera wants. For a while it got Cool Up, right? And now it's exclusively her cousin. Anytime Cool Up goes in or out, it's, it says Dana. I don't think it needs to mention who it was. I wanna, I wanna touch on something. It mention who it was. I was. I want to say who you were earlier. It knew me. It's good at white people. I have to say. Okay. That's not great. I want to touch on something that you said. Yeah.

And I want to counter it. Okay. By saying in the words of Buffalo Springfield. I thought you were going to say Buffalo Bill. Nobody puts lotion in the basket. Nobody's right. If everybody's wrong. But Scott, did you put my name in there or does it just know me from the bad in the past. Nobody's right if everybody's wrong. That's a good point. But Scott, did you put my name in there or does it just know me from the bad Googles? No, I think anyone who has- You know, isn't that scary?

Anyone who's come through like- I love you from the bad Googles. Coolup took a couple of hours and like attached people's names to it. Aw, that's nice. So I think it gets- That's the kind of shit I would do. Yeah, for sure.

It gets you right. It says I'm my mom every single time. It now says, Coolop is her cousin. And anyone who is not white, it gets totally, totally wrong. And just like, but confidently says that it is this person. Does this mean that Coolop is the racist? I think that might be it. She spent hours putting in everyone's name.

She looked at pictures of people, like, I don't know who this is. It could be any one of 20 people I know. What about me? Does it recognize me? I think, did it say you when you came earlier today? Let me see. 27 notifications. I'm just gonna go through these until Lauren was seen.

No, it doesn't even say, oh, it says unfamiliar face scene. Whoa. Unfamiliar face scene. Yigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadigadig When people make those videos where they put people's tweets to music, just drums, the most dramatic drums. All right. People put tweets to music. Thing of eating a unicorn's brain made me think reminded me of this. Okay.

People said tweets to music and this one really got me. Yesterday I found out steak is beef and I'm so embarrassed to say what animal I thought steak was all this time. I'm curious. Do you eat steak? Yes, girl. So you was just casually comfortably eating a horse all these years. I thought we all were.

Wow. I was thinking about this the other day just how I thought we all were. Wow. I was thinking about this the other day, just how confusing it is, like chicken doesn't change. It's like, I think about this a lot. Why do we call beef or steak? We should call it cow. Chicken is like the only one that we just say chicken. Well, pork is, yes, exactly.

Pork is pig. You should just call it pig. Veal is calf. Baby calf. Yeah. Let. You should just call it pig. Veal is? Calf. Baby cow. Baby, yeah. Let's call things what they are. So they're going to call it like, they're going to say cow cooked like a steak.

No. You know, because you want to know how you're going to get it. Can I have my cow, can I have a filet mignon cow? Sir, did you call me a cow? But then you have a flaming on cow. You also then like you're like, OK, you're going to eat a hamburger. What is it? It's beef.

No, it's cow. You're now further disguising it. It's ham suddenly. Come on. I don't think this is a problem that needs to be solved. I think it is. And the only reason I was thinking of this is because I was like, wait a minute. Do you think Emmy understands

that she's eating these animals? Well, I don't think she needs to understand that. I mean, you know, I also give Holly fake nuggets because we eat a lot of like impossible or beyond meat and stuff because Mike's vegetarian and it's really good. And- You don't taunt him with regular meat? I don't typically cook meat at home, but I-

Where do you cook it? I eat it at restaurants. But I like to eat fake meat, but so sometimes I will have a real chicken nugget or a fake chicken nugget or I don't differentiate. I don't say. So do you ever say like, this is tofu or this is? No, I just say, do you want a nugget?

I really don't. Is it goop? What is it? Yeah, it's goop. It's goop. My favorite are though, jackfruit nuggets from Jack and Annie's. Those are really good.

And I serve those gleefully because it's just jackfruit. I know Trader Joe's has. Is it Trader? Like the traders? Yeah, he's a trader. Why do we name a store after him? Do they sell fake nuggets? I don't know if they sell fake nuggets,

but they do have this fake meat that's made of jackfruit. Oh, which one is it? And I don't, oh, what's the name of the brand? It's like this guy, the old timey guy with a mustache on the box. That's trader Joe. It's you. Okay guys, it's me. Um, but I don't know what jackfruit tastes like. I don't know what it tastes like for real, but I know what I like. It cooked as like a meat. What do you call it?

Substitute. Yeah. Is this really where we're going to take our first break? We really front loaded it. Oh, I got a little Jack Fruit Nugget. It's me, Jack Fruit Nugget. We'll be right back. Hello, Nugget. it's me Jack Fruit. Bye.

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The dollar for you and a dollar for you. Thank you. and a dollar for you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. All right, we're back. We're back guys. And during the break we were talking about our fears, our biggest fears.

We were laying our souls bare to each other. So much happened. So much crying. We were gonna get to hopes and dreams and then we never did. Yeah. Yeah, we just talked about what we were afraid of and then we never got to.

Yeah. How afraid are you of being attacked by something in the ocean? You know, I have I have a fear of like being trapped either in outer space or under the ocean with like very little air like the spaceship is Those types of movies to me are very So cringe But you have a lot of control over the space one Those types of movies to me are very, they're so cringe. But you have a lot of control over the space one. Yeah, just never go up in space.

Also you have control over the ocean one. Yeah, but it's more likely that you'd fall off a boat and be stuck and drowning. Or like your plane gets shot down and you fall into the ocean, you don't fall up into space. You fall off a cliff. Yeah, that's true. Fall off a beach and keep swimming out and then just go.

Oh my God, I fell off the beach. You know, the few times that I've been singing, singing, the few times I've been swimming around in the ocean, I don't really have. I bet you were singing too, though. La la splish splish. I was taking a bath. The shark was like, he's too annoying to be. What if I start singing?

I gotta get out of here. I feel an awareness of things in the ocean, but I usually am not going out so deep in the ocean that I'm like, I don't like jump off the side of a boat and swim around typically. That's maybe happened to me one time. I've done that a few times. Like you take a boat out to the middle of the ocean.

I don't like that kind of activity. I've done that in a lake, but not in the wash. I've done that a few times. Where like you take a boat out to the middle of the ocean. I don't like that kind of activity. I've done that in a lake, but not in the ocean. I've done it more in the lake. And I get more nervous about deep water where I can't touch the ground. Same. So in the ocean, I'm a little scared. I love and am scared of the ocean.

I love being in the ocean though, it's so fun. What body part can it go up to before you start feeling nervous? It can go up your penis before you start getting nervous. Up your butt and around the corner. I cannot go farther than I can stand. Yeah, I don't want to. So up to the top of your head or your chin is fine with you

and you're fine? Up to your forehead? Why are you standing? I don't even get that high. I don't think I'm able to stand anymore. Up to your chin. You don't try hard enough. If it's up to your chin, you can't stand.

You can stand up to your chin. No, I guess. I think there's something called... That's why I'm asking. At what point are you like, this is too high? The buoyancy takes over at a certain point and you can't just stand there in the ocean, which is moving all the time. You can't just stand there.

Let's go try it out. Water up to your chest. Let's go to a raging water. We're going to pause the Kiboncast. They did say right now, pause the Kiboncast. They did say right now that the beaches are really full of fire stuff. And so it's really bad.

So don't go there. But let's go there right now and just walk in and see how deep we can get. We'll walk right back out. We're not going to spend a lot of time or breathe in a lot of stuff. Yeah. So pause right now. OK. So we'll pause right now. Okay. And we'll be right back. Okay.

That sucked. That was really hilarious though. I got up to my shins. I fell off the beach. I got up to my- You fell off into the water. I got up to my hair follicles where they start. Like-

Yeah, now where they end. Where the top of my hair, the top of my head. And then I couldn't do it anymore. I did get up to my eyes. They weren't covered. It was like a split the G situation. Mm-hmm. Where the total split the G situation.

The bottom half of my eyes were underwater, the top half I could see out of. Yeah. Can I get a squeegee here? Do you mind if I just wipe off your eyes? No, not at all. Wee-wee-wee-wee-wee. Thank you.

OK, yeah. Does that feel better or eyes? Thank you. Okay. Yeah. Does that feel better or worse? I can't tell. How about now? Better or worse? How about now? Better. Cash me a side. How about now? Do you know when they do the eye test and they're like seven or eight, eight or

nine? I always am like, do they know that I don't fucking know what's going on? You tell me, you tell me. Like why do I, why do I? Like I honestly feel like when I'm, when like, you know when it starts to get, Why do I get me involved in the process? It starts to get really unperceptible or they go seven or eight and then they go eight or nine.

Then I'm like, was seven eight? And now I said that one's better or you know what I mean? It's like, am I being tricked? I don't know. I feel they've gotten better at this because now my eye doctor, I have two eye doctors. I have my optometrist and I have my ophthalmologist. Okay.

Explain the difference between the two. An optometrist- If you don't mind. No, I don't mind. My optometrist is hot. My ophthalmologist is handsome. The optometrist is the person who tests your, basically, basically tests, tests your, your, uh, what your vision is and then decides and then decides. It makes the grand decision of, of what kind of glasses you wear, right?

Style ophthalmologist is more of like an MD of the eye. And I have seen ophthalmologist a few times a year because I have some broken pigment in my eye that causes pressure and pressure can lead to glaucoma. Pressure can lead to glaucoma. Okay, that's serious, so we'll stop singing. But I thought the person that I go to does both of those things. Well that's the thing, now I have overlapping tests, so I'll go to the ophthalmologist, they'll only know the optometrist, they'll take like some of the same pictures and I'm like, am I being charged for this both times?

Yeah, we took this just the other day. Yeah, but I did have appointments within a day of each other and I was like, I just did this yesterday. Like send these over. I already know what the back of my eyeball looks like. How's it look by the way? Looks beautiful. I love to see my whole eye.

It's fun. It looks like a planet. It looks like a planet, I can live on. My eyeball is like a planet. Wouldn't it feel bad to you, say we had consciousness after we die. No.

Would it feel bad to you if you were like taking care of your teeth and your eyes diligently every single year? Like you're doing this, you know, you go three times a year to your ophthalmologist. Two or three times a year. You're doing this diligently. You're trying to stave off a glaucoma and stuff. And then you die being hit by a bus. Would you go like, that was a huge waste of my time? No, cause I got to see that bus. I got to see that bus hit me.

You think like, wow, that was cool experience. You think if you don't die because of your eye or your teeth that like, it was a waste to take care of them. I died by teeth. Like a rotting tooth gets infected. I didn't brush my teeth and I died. I bit onto the back of a truck and it drove away. I feel like if you get hit by a bus,

there has to be a moment, just a brief moment, where you're like, this is cool. Probably. Where you're like, I wonder how this feels. No. Did you die before you feel the pain? I think you go no fucking way. Cause it's like really?

Really this cliche? I'd be like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Then I died. I think about that with like physical fitness though, like the people who work on it so hard and then they die of like a disease. It's like what a waste of time it was.

Other than all the people they had sex with because they looked sexy. They wouldn't get a disease because they have they work out. But I think if you're if your body is healthy, it makes your life a better experience. I see this is Scott's argument for not exercising. He's like, if I get full of exercise, I might still die of a disease. So why waste time?

If there was a way to exercise against disease, would you do? Well, it's much like our president feels that there is a finite amount of energy that the human body is given. So to exercise is a bad idea. Because that's just that's what she said. No, our president's a man. Oh, that's right. Decidedly so. Interesting.

Yeah, actually, very interesting, very interesting. Actually, I think he's right. Wow, that's really interesting. Hey, broken clock, you know what I mean? That's true. I disagree with this guy on a lot of things, but I do believe- But there being a finite amount of energy in the body. You are born with a finite amount of energy. And exercising gets rid of it? Yes. As you can see by all the exercise people. Look at them and look at him. Who do you think has more energy? Should we take up golfing? No. Why? I really don't want to. Why? I don't either. I just, it feels like then I'll give you something to do on the

weekends. I don't have a problem with not having stuff to do. And I feel bored by it. I don't want to. What's boring about it? How it takes forever and you get like one shot. Wait, wait, wait, there's points involved. And then you just drive around in the little cart, you're in the sun all day and it's expensive.

But the cart has a roof so you're protected from the sun. It's expensive. What if I'm paying for it? Are you trying to sell us on golf somehow? Is it just expensive? He wants to pay. I'll pay for it. I don't want to, I definitely don't want to pay hundreds of dollars to do something I don't want to do. Okay, I'll pay for it.

Okay, then I'll do it. Let's go. You'll do this thing you don't want to do. Let's go on Saturday because you're going to pay for me to go golfing. I'm out of town this Saturday, but next Saturday we'll go. I'm out of town next Saturday and the following one, but let's do it the next weekend. Lauren, would you give me $20 if I asked for it? Yes. Thank you I don't like golf. I there's something that feels immoral about it It feels very decadent because because of the I thought about this when I was in Palm Springs during the fires

Like so much water was going to keeping up this golf course That's crazy. And these lakes and everything at this hotel we were at, I was just like, this feels a little bad. Golf courses need a lot of maintenance. Well, and golf courses in LA, they take up so much space that could be beautiful park space. There's certain parts of town where it's like eight blocks of golf course.

And you're like, why is this bad? Park golf course, there's so much park there. That's fine, but the one in Larchmont? How about the one like in by Larchmont? How about it? How about now? Why do we have that?

Cash to that outside. Better now or better now? That's a lot of land that's just green grass that's being watered constantly. Is that not true? Am I on trial here? Loryn looked at Paul so cute. I really did see you.

You brought up that that's the problem. That is one of the problems. Somebody said it. Are you okay? I just want these golf courses gone. Something I don't ever think about. Here's the solution. We build all of our golf courses on top of high rise buildings.

There we go. On top of spaghetti. You have to get the ball from one roof to another. To another and they're connected by like a bridge. No, I think you have to take the elevator down. Do you think anyone would do it? It's almost like taking the golf cart, taking an elevator down

and then going up a different elevator. You're arguably getting more exercise by at least walking to the elevator Yeah, so I mean walking and then walking down the street to the next building. This is fun I think we could do this like this and if your ball doesn't reach the other building That's the ultimate trap and think how nice it will look from a plane Yeah, it would be so great everyone would fly more because they want to see these wonderful. It would cause people to fly more Yeah, yeah, which is what and they'd be clamoring for the window seat. Yes Everyone would fly more because they want to see these wonderful golf courses. It would cause people to fly more. Yeah. Which is what we're really trying to do.

And they'd be clamoring for the window seat. Yes! And here's the other thing. Let's put window seats, let's make aisle seats window seats too. So that everyone can see out. Why don't we just, instead of windows, just make the whole side of the plane see through. Glass. Thank you.

Like Wonder Woman's plane. Wonder Woman! Yeah, but you still want the cockpit to be kind of private. That part should be opaque. Mm-hmm. No windows at all. No windows, no doors. Yeah, you can see shadows.

It could be like a little hazy. And like a little sexy. See a silhouette. It's sexier to conceal than to reveal. Maybe if the pilot's doing a striptease, you see just a hint of like amber glass. Maybe if the pilot's doing a strip tease, you see just a hint of like. Yeah. Taking off all the scarves.

The pilots wear. All their hats and scarves. All of their hats. Yeah. It sounds good and it sounds great. It sounds good. We've solved, we are urban planners. Are we?

Do you guys ever, this is a real question that I thought up to talk about on the show like a few days ago. Thank God. Do you guys ever have this, like do you guys tend to think about something you said and go like, why did I say that? Do you do that a lot or not at all? There are certain things decades old, yes, that I didn't think about. Yeah, same.

Absolutely. I know we've talked about it a little bit. But more recently, do you feel like you're better at not doing that? Yes. I think the other night I was thinking of one, I was just like, I pray I let this go because it's so unimportant. I know some of those I'm like, stop, stop. When I lay in bed at night, I'm like, just stop.

I don't care. Get behind me, Satan. This can't matter. I don't think it's happened to me in a while. I do think I've gotten better about the one. But like, so like, I'll think still about things from like, years, years and years ago. Yeah, I don't think it's as bad for things that happened like two days ago. But it's like, I will kind of pick something from like a few. But you know what part of it is? It's like, sometimes I will do that based on the way things have gone with that person or that thing or something.

And I'll go, it all goes back to that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, it's sort of like I create the problem many years later and go like, it's cause I did that or whatever. I sometimes think about like acquaintances who we are no longer in touch with, who I would like to be.

And then I go, like you'll email them a couple of times and never hear anything back. And then I go, like, you'll email them a couple of times and never hear anything back. And then I'll go like, it was probably this one thing I said, even though it was not a bad thing or whatever. But you just go, I bet that rubbed them the wrong way. But you'll never get confirmation on it. And it's probably not even true.

They're probably just like, you're not important enough to respond to. Like with all the- That's not nice regardless. That's not nice, but it's not like a thing where they're actively going like- You said that one thing Regardless, that's not nice, but it's not like a thing where they're actively going. Like you said that one thing. I feel like I have.

There's one person that I have. Joked with twice on two separate occasions where I realized you've only jumped with me once. And I hope you never savor it. So serious. I never will. Where both times I realized later, this person did not know I was kidding. And they took what I said at face value.

Did you reach out to the person afterwards? Or? No! Actually three instances. I've had some things where I have reached out. They happened three times. I've had the thing where I reached out later about something I said, where I was like within a day

or whatever. And then it's always like, they think it's like weird that I said something. Okay, nevermind. I would rather that though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think you think I said something. Oh, no, I think it's also thinking about my own thing. More recently, if I've said something, it was an honest mistake as opposed to I said

something out of nervousness. That's the thing that sucks about the the ones is that you sort of remember that feeling of I was uncomfortable or I was anxious or whatever and I blurted something out that was fucking stupid that seemed like a good idea at the time and then it haunts you. But if I said something dumb the other day, I would probably be like, oh yeah, I didn't understand or I think there should be blanket immunity for anything said at a party. Blum unity, blum unity for anything said at a party because especially a party where there is alcohol and pot being served because you're saying blame it on the alcohol.

Blame it on the alcohol. Of course. Yeah. But you know what I mean? People, when you go into a party, there should be a sign. First of all, there should be a sign that says check your egos at the door. Every party.

And then there should be another sign saying, you cannot hold anything said in a moment of weirdness. Sure, in anger, hold that against someone. But you know what I mean? If someone had an uncomfortable, weird conversation with you, they're probably high or they're drunk. So let's like leave it all at the door and let's have a good time. Third sign, long haired, freaky people need not apply.

Fourth sign, there was a brown-eyed, brown-haired, flying purple people eater. Why is brown-haired? It sounds gorgeous. There's a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people leader. Why is brown haired? It sounds gorgeous. One eye to one horn. God, can you guys ever forgive me for saying that? So I know because we're not at a party. Lauren said the purple people here had brown hair, brown eyes. Hot. That's a good combination.

They go together. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. I mean, if combination. They go together. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. I mean, if there was like old violet eyes herself. It was. Elizabeth Taylor, she was wearing a brown pantsuit. These have always brought me luck. Remember White Diamonds?

Oh, that's right. These have always brought me luck. Michael Jackson. Should we create a fragrance? These have always brought me luck. Michael Jackson. He's she's talking about. His one glove is one glove.

These have always probably look over the other one. Oh, the white diamonds on it. Oh, it makes sense. It makes sense. It makes sense. The white diamonds refer to Michael Jackson's diamond encrusted glove as seen in the video for Black and White using morphing technology. Which at the time was one of the most amazing pieces of morphing technology that we've

made. Do you know I saw a clip from that video recently and it still looks pretty good. Do you think they'll come up with anything else like CGI morphing technology just totally changed cinema? Will they ever come up with anything like it again? Or are we done? They're done. You know what I mean?

Like computers. You think there'll be a music video channel again? No, because that was such a product of cable being introduced. They still make videos though. Yeah. And I'm always a little confused by that. I saw one today that was so good. And I was like, I wish more people could see this,

but where would one see it? MTV was purely a product of these cable channels being available and someone pouncing on it and needing content, you know? But now there's just like no way they- They filled them all up. They filled up all the channels. That was a cool time.

But you know what I mean? Like computers are already so fast. I mean, I guess that's what they're talking about with AI of like, now there's super computers who can just make these movies. I want to see them. Just show it to them. Let's see you put AI to work.

All talk, no show. Let's see what the AI can do. Honestly, honestly. You're gonna make a great movie? Go ahead. Who's stopping you? Honestly, let's do the AI challenge with my work. Make the Between Two Ferns movie with AI

and we'll see which one's better. And I'll be honest about it. Make AI with AI. Cause I bring my movie as faults. Elon Musk with the Twitter poll. Yeaherns movie with AI and we'll see which one's better and I'll be honest about it make AI With the Twitter poll yeah make AI with AI that would be the ultimate You're fucking blowing my mind if you drop a I will break The teddy bear says and I might bleed from voice the teddy bear It was not a recognizable name to me really yeah I think it was Ted bear it was Ted E grams Ted E grams Jack angel known for

I'm gonna say AI and Balto and the Iron Giant. Oh, the Iron Giant. Ba-da-ba-doo-da-boo-day. Only three? Unfortunately, Jack Angel died, but four years ago. Oh, somebody dropped him. I also known for Toy Story, he played the shark and Rocky Gibraltar. I have no idea what those are. I don't know, but you know what?

I'm going to take this information with me to the grave. I have really fallen off on Pixar's. They're not good anymore, but let's, you know what? Take a break before we get into a huge cinema discussion because we only have time for a three-chir. We're gonna talk about Kristin Sinema. We're gonna talk, of course.

We'll get into that. Her famous thumbs down, Kurtzy. Here we go, we'll be right back with more freedom. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Carla Gallo, and we're here to bring you Boneheads.

The official Bones rewatch podcast. That's right. We're watching all the episodes of Bones, starting with episode one. And we are the right people to do it. I played Dr. Temperance Brennan and I met Carla 16 years ago on set. I played Dezzy Wick. Tune in every Wednesday to hear all our behind the scenes stories, conversations with cast and crew and our favorite moments. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out wherever you get your podcasts.

Want a sneak preview of hot new audio books? podcasts. And we're back. And Paul, I gotta know. Because I was told by someone in my ear saying it's time for a three-turn. I was confused. I was baffled. Was that our producer? Someone told me that too. Oh, that's what it was.

I was just like, what are you fucking talking about? Stop saying this. It was Gelman. Gelman said, um, not Brett Gelman. Gelman from The View? From the Regis show. I knew exactly who you were talking about. That's what it was.

I forgot that Gelman was an entity. Well, he had nowhere to go after the Regis show, so he came over here. What happened to him? He's right there. Oh, oh, oh, hey Gelman. Yeah, so he was saying it's time for a threacher, but I was confused because I was like, what the fuck are you even talking about? But in times like these, I look to Paul for clarification and wisdom.

You know, man, I gotta say something. Yeah. The fact that you still don't know what a threacher is, it's now, it's crossed over into insulting. Insulting to whom? To meme. First- Are you including me in this or is it okay that I still don't know?

I forgot you were here. Okay. First, it was charming how stupid you were that you couldn't remember it. Oh, thank you so much. Second, it was frustrating that I couldn't remember it. Well, thank you so much. Second, it was frustrating that I couldn't get through to you. It's frustrating.

Thank you, frustrating. Now it's gotten to the point where you're actively putting this information out of your brain and making me do this emotional labor. Don't think that I'm intentionally doing this at the end of episodes. Do I repeat to myself, I don't wanna remember what Paul said, I don't want to remember what Paul said. Sure.

But that's not an act of intentional forgetting. Just because you're saying I don't want to. As much as, as it is self care. And I think that what you need to do is you need to realize that not everyone is you and everyone has different ways to manage their emotional states. Lauren, would you agree with that? You know, I actually think what I agree more with is your initial take, which was that Scott needs to shut the fuck up. Guys, this is the last episode. You didn't say that? I don't think I ever said that. That's crazy. That's crazy. No, I think you guys are both

great. That's crazy. I think you guys are both great. I think you guys are both great I think you need to hug really long. We don't need to hug. You're the person who's in the Gelman hug Gelman. I'll have a gelman all day long I'll take the low you take the high That was gelman getting out of his chair He has trouble getting out of his chair That's what it sound was You know what what I keep trying to tell him push up from the arms of the chair. Don't pull. Don't push down on

your knees. I think you can't get up. Push down on your knees and squeeze out with your butt. Push down on your knees. And I want you to squeeze out with your butt. Jack Nicholson, he got famous just because he talked weird, right? Oh yeah. People are like, get get a little this guy. What did he just say? I don't understand that. Hey, sounds like a lizard. Here's Johnny.

He does sound like a lizard. He sounds like a lizard. He might be a lizard. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler. What animal do you think you guys sound like? What? Oh, boy. Like if we're going to animate you. I think guys sound like? What? Oh boy, oh boy. Like if we're going to animate you. I think I sound like a turkey.

I think that makes sense. I think I. Turkey, turkey, turkey. Do you think I sound like a turkey? Do you think I sound like a turkey? Do you think I sound like a musical robot? Lon, what do you think? Do you think I sound like a turkey? I think you sound like a turkey. Do you think I sound like a musical robot? Lon? What do you think I sound like? Do you think I sound like a turkey? I think you sound like a...

What's an annoying bird? I think I sound like... Kind of gave it away there, I think. I think I sound like a guinea pig. Oh, really? I can hear that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I sound like a capybara. Yeah, capybara. In any case, I guess I'll never know what a three-true is. No, it's a Bustero. Oh, okay. And we're ready. This Bustero, I did not look up.

So what are we playing? What's a Bustero? Oh, well, a three-true is a game that we like to play, also known as a Buster. Also known as a Bustero. Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta. Un Bustero. Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta,

gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, Alright. This is my favorite style of rap. I love that one. Because it takes a lot of focus. It's not what everybody wants to say. It's easy to do. It comes out when he moves lips to the worst of his ability. Because I'm bad, I'm bad, you know, come on.

Forget about Drake. The real chip on Drake's shoulder. And it was so funny because he was famous for he was famous for that had been famous for the last 10 years when that song came out. Why would he have a chip on his shoulder? Oh, nowadays, everybody wants to say they forgot about Dre. No, no one forgot about Dre. He's been a popular producer. Did he say you forgot about me?

Well, I mean, it was a whole song about it. Was it a chip? But was it his song? Yeah, we came out on his record, The Chronic 2001. But was he the one who said it? Well, Eminem said it. Well? But he gave it a tacit endorsement by putting it on his album.

He urged him to say it. Could you please tell people they forgot about me? Please. Just remind them about me. I like to think of Dr. Dre and Eminem. Hugging on the couch. Yeah, hugging on the couch. And they go, like, we want to watch Love is Born. What's their age difference, do you think?

Five seconds. I think that sounds right. But they were born on separate days, so Dr. Dre was born four seconds before midnight, and Eminem was born one second after midnight. It's pretty cute when you think about it. It reminds me of the Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel plot line from New Year's Eve. Oh, great movie.

Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel plot line? Yeah. All right. They're gonna have their first baby born. Oh, do they have twins or what? No, they are competing with another couple, Sarah Paulson and some other guy. God, I really don't remember that movie. I've only seen it once. What? You've got to see it five more

times in order to remember this. You have to. Yeah. You have to. Yeah, you're right. All right. We're doing a feature called The Great Debate. This was submitted by Steven. Thank you, Steven. With a pH. Oh, I take it back. Okay. One of us is the one of us is the debate moderator. This teacher has everything. The other two are debaters. Each person, including the moderator, secretly chooses a word. OK. OK, then we all reveal our words, including the moderator.

OK, OK, babe. Cha cha. We all reveal our words and the competitors debate whose word is closer to the moderator's word. And then the moderator will choose who have the best. Now we have done this before to great success. We have. It's a reliable three-term. This is a fun one.

Is it in the reliable file? It is. We text it to? No, you just know it. You just know it. Yeah. You can write it down if you like or whatever. But as the first moderator, I'll write mine down just to prove that I'm not. But we all think of, and as far as I'm concerned in games like these, it doesn't have to be

a one word thing. It can be a thing like Bugs Bunny. You know what I mean? Where it has, you know, like a name. Interesting. You know what I mean? It can be a proper noun. Yeah, it can be a proper noun.

It can be a two word noun as long as it's a one idea thing. Who are we waving at? A squirrel just tapped up on the picnic table. All right, so. Can you like check this out a little bit? Like what are they doing in there? What is, what podcast is this? How old is that snack mix?

How old is this snack mix? If we put it out there and gave it to that squirrel, that would be a crime. It would be a crime against God. Okay, I'm writing down, I'm the moderator. I've written down my word. Do you guys know your words? I know my word. I know my word.

Okay, what's your word, Paul? My word is, do do do, chalk. Chalk. Lauren, what's your word? Do do do do, fruit stripe gum. Fruit stripe gum, my word is indistinguishable. Wow.

You are now to argue why your particular words are closest to indistinguishable. And do we have a time limit? Oh yes. I can set like a timer? I can do it. Okay. I'll say it's one minute, if that is all right with the likes of you.

Yes, and who goes first? It will be Paul. Okay. Okay. And you have one minute starting now. Indistinguishable means you cannot tell one thing from another. They appear to be the same. And what appears to be the same more

than chalk and the chalkboard to the touch? They feel, one might say, identical. If a blind man were to lay hands on a chalkboard and lay hands on a piece of chalk. He could not tell you that they are made of different substances, for they do appear both smooth, both non-porous, both solid. That is why when I think of the word chalk, I also think of the word indistinguishable. You have 10 seconds left. When I think of the word chalk, I also think of the word indistinguishable. You have 10 seconds left. I thank you and may God bless you.

You have seven seconds left. And all of your families, drive home safe everyone because it's crazy out there. Good night. All right, Lauren, you have one minute starting now. When I think of the word indistinguishable, the first thing that comes to mind is fruit stripes gum. Now this gum of course is one that is famous

for being flavorless after moments of chewing. No matter which piece you put in your mouth you can chew on it the flavor goes away they become indistinguishable from one another. Did I just have a lime? Did I just have a cherry? Did I just have a strawberry? Who's to say? It tastes like nothing. It is indistinguishable from the paper it came in on. I pray that everyone's family is well. I pray that the judges' families are well. I wish everyone a peaceful rest this evening

as you lay your head in bed. Good night. Good night. Fifteen seconds left. Good night. Good night. Lay it down. As you hit your pillow, I hope you think of all the happy things that happened today and you're able to sleep well and have a pleasant, pleasant dream.

As you know that I am the winner of this debate. Good night and good luck to all who dream tonight in their beds. All right. Now it's time for rebuttals. Time for rebuttals, and I will give you 20 seconds for a rebuttal. I would put it to you that fruit stripe gums. Very essence is that Everything is different in the pack of gum the appearance the flavor

The rest there's there is no fruit stripe gum That's time may finish my thought So sorry, you cannot finish your thought? No, no, no. No, I'm so sorry. You cannot finish your thought. And now we go to Lauren. Jesus. Twenty second rebuttal. When he talks about chalk, my opponent forgets that chalk is also many different colors, each one distinguishable from the last. Red, yellow, blue, black, white.

They all exist in the chalk world. Now gum, on the other hand hand becomes indistinguishable as you chew it and the flavor leaves, thus making my point stronger. All right. Now I have to make my decision here. You do. Paul, you really had me with,

if a blind man were to touch a chalkboard, he or she or they would not be able to distinguish the chalk from the actual chalkboard. So you're not gonna lie, I had you in the first half. You had me there, but then I started to think of daredevil and how he would be able to feel the indentations of the chalk, the slight rays of the chalk, and be able to tell what was said on that blackboard just by feeling it. So not every blind person.

Just ones that exist? Sure. Now, Lauren, you're right that when any gum is chewed after a certain amount of time, it just, it doesn't even taste like anything anymore. It's just gum. And you could, I can imagine that if you had five different brands of gum and someone chewed it for each one for five minutes a piece and then gave it to a person,

they would not be able to tell which brand was which. However, the fact that you named it the gum, you automatically distinguished it in just your choice of words. You gave it a specific gum, distinguishing it from all other types of gun. I'm sorry, I have to go with Paul. Wow.

This is really hard for me, but I'm gonna accept it. Okay. Well, you can get it back because now you're going against Scott. Great. Yes. And I will moderate. OK. And I will think of a word. Mm hmm. And I have that. I have my word. I have my word.

And. Let's see, Lauren, you say your word first. Brick. Brick, the Ben Folds Five song that you danced to in your episode of The Characters. Or it could be used in a completely different way depending on what it has to be. Okay, my word is Chewbacca. Paul, what word did you pick as the moderator?

Well, I'm not gonna lie to you guys. The word I picked was cruise ship. Cruise ship. Lauren, one minute to you, starting now. Cruise ships are built from all sorts of materials. Metal, wood, plastic. Brick probably wouldn't be included in that. However, it's kind of like a giant floating brick on the ocean.

Something that without paying attention to it could sink very easily to the bottom. Also, brick has five letters. The word yacht also has five letters. Brick is to, so when you leave your home to go on the cruise, you probably leave out of a brick home or another material, some such as. So that would be such as how you would get such as to the cruise ship. Seven seconds. Other things that might occur is that the song Break by Ben Folds might play on a cruise.

That's actually probably where it should have started. All right, all right. Now it goes a minute to me starting now. First of all, before I begin, I would like to thank my house for hosting us here and Paul for being the moderator. I would like to thank my house for hosting us here and Paul for being the moderator. I would like to thank you for doing all of this. It's really a treat to be here in front of all of you

debating these issues. This is an important part of our process. And so I just wanna first off say that I am happy to be here and thank everyone. Wow. 30 seconds. Wow. I'm not saying it's an exact match, but it's certainly more of a match than brick,

because Chewbacca is, what is he, other than the first mate of a vessel. The Millennium Falcon is not a cruise ship, it's a spaceship, but it's certainly closer than a brick is to a cruise ship, because Chewbacca Steers he pilots sometimes when Han Solo says Joey take this I gotta go back and fix something Chewie's steering this he is manning a vessel much like a cruise ship. Thank you very much. Okay

Lauren you will have 20 seconds for a rebuttal Starting now when a cruise ship is no longer in use, the pieces are all taken apart and put in a junkyard where you will find rubble of bricks, rubble of stones, rubble of plastics and cements. Perfect, perfect rebuttal. and cements. All right. Now my perfect, perfect remodel. I don't think where things are buried has any bearing on this. Certainly Chewbacca would be buried on whatever his planet is. He's a Wookie. I don't know what planet he's from. Cho-chach. Perhaps.

But I certainly think that a wookie is a living, breathing thing that, uh, much like a cruise ship is referred to as a she. You went over your time, which is interesting because it's not something that's usually allowed in these debates. Interesting. That should help with your scoring. It does indeed. And let me say that you both made fine arguments, fine arguments.

But ultimately, it's not that tough a decision for me. I feel that Lauren's explanation of bricks being a building material brings me closer to seeing a cruise ship in her argument than Chewbacca who lived on a ship. Just because he was on a ship, he's not closer to being a cruise ship than a brick is. Wow. Also, and I don't wanna bring this up, but bricks used to be used as ballast in boats.

Thank you. I mean, I didn't say that because I didn't want to crush your argument. You came in already thinking bricks were used as ballast. No, as soon as she said brick, I was like, it's going to be Lauren. So I guess the debate doesn't matter then. To him. In this instance, it really didn't, but it was fun to watch. Thank you. And I appreciate you both. Obviously did a lot of prep on this. I'm really happy. All right.

And Scott also, you did that thing where you thanked everybody for a long time, which I despise. So it goes to Lauren. Thank you. All right. Now, everyone think of their word. Lauren is the moderator. OK. Lauren has one. I have one. Paul, you can tie it up and we can all leave as friends or I can win everything. OK, ready? Yeah.

Oh, wait. No, I don't have one. You better have one. No, I'm sorry, Paul. You have one. You have one. And Lauren has one. I can tie it up or Paul, you can leave the winner. All right, sorry. I was too busy going over the stats to think of what I wanted to say,

which is I've now come up with my word. Okay. All right, my word is doorbell. My word is tree house. My word is body pillow. All right, I have one minute starting now. Lauren, thank you very much for having us. Is a doorbell akin to a body pillow? It certainly is. First of all, the shape.

Is a doorbell is round and a body pillow, if you scrunch it up, it's very circular. Secondly, a doorbell alerts you to the fact that someone is in your vicinity. A body pillow gives you the feeling that you are wrapped around someone who's in your vicinity. It gives you comfort. No one's going to come to your house and just waltz right in without announcing themselves. No, they ring the doorbell.

Same with the body pillow. You sleep feeling like, oh wow, I'm next to someone. Even if you're alone, the body pillow gives you the feeling of safety and comfort. And that's what both of these things do. And I just want to thank you so much for listening. Paul? Starting now. It's interesting that my learned opponent should mention comfort.

Because a body pillow indeed is very comforting. Not only is it comfortable in the sense that it's a pillow, also because it's the length of your body, it's a pillow that you can hug. And that's comforting as well as comfortable. A tree house? That's a house for kids. Think of that feeling of when you were a kid and the comfort and the coziness that you had in a tree house.

It's almost like a body pillow is hugging you. Now you are inside the tree house. The tree house holds you in its grasp, keeps you safe, keeps you secure, makes you feel as if you are doing this by yourself. You are the, you are the king of your kingdom and the body pillow, you don't need a man in your bed. All you need is that pillow and it's the same thing. All right, 20 second response.

I don't think that tree houses are safe. There's nothing less safe. It's not permitted. It's usually put up by one's parent who doesn't know what they're doing. I wouldn't feel safe in a treehouse and I wouldn't feel comfortable putting my child up in a treehouse at someone else's house that I didn't know. Whereas a body pillow feels safe. A doorbell is the opposite of comfort. It is an intrusion. A doorbell means you have to stop what you are doing

and hope that there's not a murderer on the other side of the door. That- Ringing the doorbell, sir? You're interrupting me. I have to respond to this. Shut up. The anxiety you have from the moment you hear the doorbell

to the moment you open the door or peek through the little people. Wow. Debate over. So initially, I actually was really leaning towards Scott in this debate because I felt that it was a strong argument that a doorbell keeps you safe in the same way that a body pillow keeps you safe. I thought your first argument was kind of piggybacking on that, stealing a little bit of what he had said. Making more sense of it.

The second round is where it really came to shine. Your point that a doorbell gives you anxiety is so true, Bestie, that I feel that you- Bestie, this isn't fair! That you actually annihilated with that point. So I'm very grateful that there was a second round for your sake that you were able to win. I'm sorry for you and not grateful that there was a second round because if it had only been one round, you would have won.

So Lauren, you essentially are awarding Paul a victory instead of Lenius all share a victory. That means you lose. Not really. Really? How does it, how do I lose? Because if you gave it to me, then we would all be tied. And you would be the co-winner.

This is not the time to debate. You would be the co-winner right now instead of the loser. Paul wins. And then the only loser in that instance would be the truth. Paul wins. Thank you. So you're fine being a loser. As long as you are as well.

You're okay with being a loser as long as you make me a loser? Yes. That's loser behavior. And that's what I am. That's pure loser. Because we both lost because Paul won. Congrats. Thank you. Can you say congrats? No, I can't. I'm not. No, I'm not going to shake your hand.

I'm going to slap it away. Oh, and that. Oh, and that is the Buster. Oh, known as the great debate. Thank you. Great. Thank you for being a Buster. You as the great debate. Thank you, Stefan. Thank you for being a Bustero. Do you think it was Stefan from SNL? Yeah, I do. I do think it was.

I think it was probably him. He's not on the show anymore. What else does he have to do? Yeah, he wasn't there at the 50. He was probably typing that up for us. He wasn't there in video. As an example of something he didn't age well. Wasn't it just maybe three years ago?

I know. All right, everyone. That's another episode of 3Dim. That's another episode of 3Dim. If you would like to send us a buster, please do so at our email address, which is 3DimUSAGmail.com. If you'd like to leave us a voicemail for three meme episodes, which we do behind the paywall every other Wednesday, then go to the famous website, hagclaims8.com. How do you listen to these three meme episodes? Well, you can listen to them at CBB World with a subscription,

or you can subscribe to Lemonada Premium, which you can do it on Apple Podcasts or at lemonadapremium.com. And if you wanna hear all of our older episodes, you can either listen to them all and binge them perhaps at CBB World. Decadent. Or every Tuesday we re-release one of them.

We call that three visiting on the twos. Those are our old episodes. Lauren, anything you want to add to this? You know what? I just think you should keep listening to this show and that's that. That truly is just. That's that.

That's that, all right. Wait, I want to tell people about something that's that. That truly is. That's that. That's that. All right. Wait, I want to tell people about something that's happening. What what could possibly be happening? Well, it's the variety. Varietopia. What? We're going all over the goddamn country. Why would you do something like that for fun? We want to bring joy to the people.

My variety show Varietopia is going on the road and we're hitting a bunch of cities starting the 23rd of April. We're going to be in Iowa City, Iowa. We're going to St. Paul, Minnesota, Madison, Wisconsin, Chicago, Royal Oak, Michigan, Lakewood, Ohio, Toronto, Canada, New York City, Lakewood, Ohio, Toronto, Canada, New York City, Boston, Philadelphia, PA, Washington, DC, Durham, South Carolina, North Carolina, excuse me, excuse me, please don't get mad, Atlanta, Georgia, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Vancouver, Canada, and more cities to be announced. Wow. Paulfthompkins.com slash live. This is a great show.

You will not be sad that you came to it. You might be sad before it, but you won't leave sad. Hell no. You might be sad the next day that it's over. That's your problem. But don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. I don't think anyone's ever been to a show and just expected it to keep going forever.

Yes. And they're sad. After two hours, like, hey, what the? Has to have happened. What the hell? Has to have happened, yeah. I came to the show expecting it to keep going until the end of my life.

No, I thought it was gonna live here. Yeah, it has to have happened. All right, see you next week. Bye bye. Bye. Hey everybody. That includes me. Hey everybody. That includes me.

And me. Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on Lemonada Premium on Apple podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access

to our 3remium episodes. In each Thremium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com, and listen to your questions. Be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonade Premium. Subscribe to Lemonade Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button.

Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir? Sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul. Sorry about that. Who was that guy?

Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do that crabs do that? Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis.

This season we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One Is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.