Threedom - Freaky Loaf

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss song lyrics, hot dogs, and James Bond before playing Genie. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, Georgia. Hi, David. What do you think the world needs more of? Well, the world always needs more podcasts. Didn't you used to have a podcast? Not only did I used to have a podcast, Georgia. It's coming back! David Tennant does a podcast with.

Season 3 is coming at ya! Okay, and who are your guests? Who are my guests? What about Russell T. Davis? What about Jamila Jamil? What about Stanley the Tooch Toochie? So it's really just you hanging out with your mates then? Yeah.

Come, join me. David Tennant does a podcast with. Bye. Once the business of gambling was run by the mob, then the government decided they wanted in on the action. The result was a competition, the bureaucrats versus the bookmakers. Scratch and Win is a new podcast from the creators of The Big Dig.

It's about this competition and about the fiercest competitor of them all, the state lottery that gave the world the scratch ticket. Find Scratch and Win from GBH News wherever you listen. Freedom! Hey, hey! Freedom! Ho ho ho ho! Hey hey! Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Freedom! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I like it, uh huh, uh huh. That's the way, uh huh, uh huh. I like it, uh huh, uh huh. Now what was that about? Woo. What has to wonder? Was it about sex? It has to be about sex. That's the way, uh huh, uh huh. Cause like that part's when they're pumping.

That's the way. I don't think they're pumping. I think she's slobbing. She's slobbing. And he's saying, that's the way. Uh huh. I like it. If you were pumping, telling her, don't tell me if I like it. What is the way? No, she's saying it. No, well, it's a guy singing. He's doing it from her perspective. It's a guy. Oh, interesting. Wow. Now you know the old.

This is what she must be saying while I have sex with her. The old gag about I want it that way is about anal sex. Yeah. Oh yes. No, not I want it that way. No, oh, oh, I'll do anything but that. I won't do anything for love, but I won't do that. I think they're both about anal sex, honey. I want it that way.

And I want it that way. And I want it that way. Anal sex. It feels so different. Why are you arguing with him about this thing that he's talking about? Because you're singing the meatloaf song. I'm singing it in celebration and I'm agreeing. But you think it's about anal sex?

That one? I think it's about cunnilingus. He won't do that. By the think it's about anal sex? That one? I think it's about cunnilingus. He won't do that, so he's like a... By the way, this is three of them after dark. He's like a DJ Khaled, what was his name? No, DJ Khaled, yeah. I think meatloaf, if I were to guess which he wouldn't do, I would think it would be cunnilingus.

Really, I think he would go down. Isn't it solved by the end of it? Like he wouldn't break up with her or something. I can't remember what it is. Well, I'll do anything for love, but I won't break up with you. I want you, I need you. Ain't no way I can ever live without you. But let's talk about it. Oh, no, now I'm thinking two out of three. Let's do Backstreet Boys. Tell me why. Ain't nothing but a heartache. Tell me why ain't nothing but a mistake. Tell me why. What's screwing around? Yeah. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

Having an affair. Thanks for the heads up. It's a duet. Well, that's good. I think it's a duet with someone saying like, you know, will you do this for me? Yeah. Will you do this? You know, will you make me some magic with your own two hands? Will you hold me scared? Will you hold me tight? Yeah, I can do that. I can do that. And then she starts saying like, you know, after a while, you'll forget me.

And, uh, you know, it's not like a pure duet. It's he is is Milov is recounting this conversation. It's a duet. Who sings with him? I don't feel like I've ever heard her name, but it's, I don't even know if I've really heard it. Paradise by the dashboard. Like cheeseburger. It is reminiscent of that. It's supposed to, it's intentionally. I don't remember that being a duet at all.

Don't they mean either. And don't they feel like they're in like a rocky horror type musical, all his music. It kind of gives me that vibe. Oh, well I, all his songs are like that. And it made so much sense that he was in Rocky Horror. Oh, he was in Rocky Horror? I don't even know that. Meet Love Was. This is Mikhailov Ultra. Maybe I did know that. I don't know.

This sucks. Can I add free YouTube please? Why? Oh, Kaylin Tarver's in this app. There's a pickleball one. Why? Because you play ads on this podcast. Yeah, but I only play YouTube. He's in Rocky Horror. I don't know if I know that, but maybe I did subconsciously. He's Eddie. I've only seen it like once or twice as a kid. So who's right? Who is this?

Is this me love singing like a woman? She turned sideways as a lady. Dan you make me sing like a woman. Who is this? I've never heard this woman's voice in my life. Have I never really listened to this song? Yeah, I don't think I have. I swear to God, I don't think I've heard it.

Cause if I knew this was part of it? Yeah, I don't think I have. I swear to God, I don't think I've heard it. Cause if I knew this was part of it, I think I'd like it more. Lorraine Crosby. Of course Lorraine Crosby. Give me some other songs. Well, her debut album, Mrs. Loud was released in 2008. Her debut album was released in 2008? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Mrs. Loud. That is! Who's Mr. Loud? Because you know honestly, if you marry into it, are you loud? Or are you just married to a loud man? But then you're Mrs. Loud? Like I'm not Mrs. Lapkus, am I? Yes you are. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to tell you. I mean, I'm not.

You're Mrs. Lauren Lapkus?. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to tell you. I mean, I'm not. You're Mrs. Lauren Lapness. But I'm not. In any case, she's like, I know the territory. I've been around. It'll all turn to dust. It'll all fall down sooner or later. You'll be screwing around. And he's like, I won't do that. No, no, I won't. Did she say screwing around? Yes. You got to listen to the end of this song someday. Sounds stupid. Someday I will listen to that song

and it won't be by choice, but it will happen. I do wanna listen to Mrs. Loud. You know, I also think I hear that song a lot at karaoke or something where like, I don't hear a duet with it. Like, I don't even know. I don't know that I've ever known it was a duet. Yeah, I know.

Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Now, is the cheeseburger mentioned in that? That's cheeseburger in paradise. And what's that? That's Jimmy Buffet. OK, I never liked that idea. I never really liked the idea of a cheeseburger being a song. You don't like the idea of a cheeseburger being in a song? What is wrong with you?

It sounds disgusting. And I think it sounds like- What? I think it sounds great. I don't like cheeseburgers. Well, now we come to it. Is this from Mrs. Loud? This is from Mrs. Loud. It's pretty loud, honestly. I'm actually kind of into this. So far, so good.

So far, so great. One man, one ghost. Oh. One ghost? What? One man, one ghost. What? A goat. Oh, this is, I'm sorry. This is her just doing covers in concert. You just skipped to a medley. I guess.

I don't know. Lorraine Crosby. One man, one ghost. Oh, you gotta take me home today? I don't know if this is appropriate to ask questions at a concert. Why did you just do that? You're talking about one man. Guys I continue or do you have more questions? Ah, that answer's all mine.

Keep rocking. Hit it. Well, God bless Meatloaf. God bless him indeed. He passed away, didn't he? He did. I know his daughter and she's a wonderful person. And. Oh, it's very nice

Millie loaf yes Freaky fruit cake Oh fruit cake freaky loaf Freaky loaf is a good name for this episode. We don't know. Well, we'll find out. We will. What was his song in Rocky Horror? No, that's, sorry, that was what they were singing about. That's all I can think of. Kid, but we do, but with a switchblade knife, what a guy makes you cry, what I did.

It's him, you know, riding around Rocky Horror's pad, bachelor pad. Rocky Horror's. I must have known he was in that. But isn't that- John. Yeah. Something Rocky Horror says. He's on his motorcycle and he's like.

Okay. Oh yeah. Let me see. Like a bat out of hell. Like a bat out of hell. Like a bat out of hell. I got bad out of hell. Rada da ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I didn't love that rock and roll. Have you ever been to one of those Rocky Horror Nights? When I was, what, oh God, how old was I? I feel like you told me this.

17 or something? Did your sister take you? No, no, no, it was my first comedy partner. Oh. He and I went together. Wow. Never been to one before. Was that the only time you ever went?

That was the only time I ever went. Oh wow. I got it. And are you? Had a good time. Have you ever been in touch with him again? He's passed. That's what I time I ever went. That was the only time I ever went. Oh wow. I got it. And are you? Had a good time. Have you ever been in touch with him again? He's passed.

That's what I thought you might say. I got nervous about that. Could you tell from, ah. Yeah, the part when your eyes turned into like a Wallace and Gromit situation. I'm sure I told you I used to sneak out of the house to go with my friends. I'm sure you used to tell me that.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Multiple times. I never, I don't think I ever went to one, maybe one time, I have a vague memory, but I sort of, in my memory, I sort of feel like I was there for something that happened right before it, then I was leaving and it was happening or something.

I don't know that I've actually witnessed that. So you were seeing like the 10 PM show of Godzilla or something? Probably. And I think it was Goonies. Very similar to Rocky Horror. They're making a sequel. Yeah, a lot of overlapping themes. They're making a sequel. I think it was Goonies is fun. Well, the first time I saw it, I was in my twenties. Here's what I understand. Goonies is good enough.

They are good enough. Oh, I thought it was about the movie itself. They're good enough to do, you know, whatever happens. What's that guy's name in that movie? Chunk. That's the monster or that guy? Was he a kid or the monster? He's a kid now in entertainment.

I know who's the monster? What's his name? Yeah, what is his name? Sloth? Yeah. Sloth. I'm wondering if he's gonna be in it. Well, you know, his Sloth's mom won't because she's gone.

She was from Throw Mama from the train. Oh, Anne Ramsey. Yes. So she's gone. And then Robert Davie. Do you think the other Anne Ramsey was so happy when that Anne Ramsey died? Thank God. It's just me.

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. You want to be in the Goonies thing? Sure. I'd love to. One of them all grown up or something? I'd love to be in it. I think they're all grown up, so I don't know if they want to do it. No, some of them are still kids. Some of them opted to remain children. I'd love to be in it. You know, you had a mini Goonies reunion in Love Hurts, which we saw recently on Valentine's Day. Oh, okay. I haven't seen that.

Ki-Hae Kwan, action star. I do want to see that. I enjoy him. You know what I just watched? Is this a recent film? Yes. It's brand new. There actually are ads for it on podcasts all the time. Probably on our show even. I just watched Bridget Jones mad about the boy. Now that did not come out in theaters. Is that correct? I don't think so. And it was, I think it's just on Peacock. I saw the last 10 minutes of that film. Okay. Well why? Because my wife was watching it and then I got home.

I really liked it. So she said, I'm going to watch and then I got home I Really liked it. So she said I'm gonna watch this and you said bye, honey I had a show to do oh And she was she does it was one of those ones where every once in a while She'll there's things we definitely know we want to watch together. Yeah, there's things We definitely know we want to watch separately. Yeah, and then there's some things where it's like do you mind if I watch this? Yeah, go right ahead. Unfortunately, our list there's some things where it's like do you mind if I watch this? Yeah, go right ahead Unfortunately, our list is expanding to things. We have to watch together. So now I just don't get to watch stuff. Yeah That's hard when that's but it's also eventually you you gotta you gotta pare down. Yeah, you know, you gotta let things happen

Yeah, sometimes things are gonna be watched without you. Yeah let things happen. Sometimes things are going to be watched without you. Yeah. And you know what? Then catch up, bitch. Yeah. I just want to say the movie was really sweet and it kind of had a Paddington quality to it. It was very sweet. She's a bear in this one. Yeah. It just felt, you know, gave me a sort of good feeling like those movies give me. I want to see the new Paddington. I have not seen it yet. He's in Peru. Yes. He's in Peru. How have I not seen this? That's my favorite series.

It's a different director and then Sally Hawkins is no longer in it. That's, who replaced her? I think I read about that. I think it was Christopher Plummer. I love her in those movies, but I understand she wanted to do something else. I love her.

Yeah, she's so charming. I just love her, I'm in love with her. That's a huge confession. I'm gonna leave my wife for her. Yeah, whoa. You both are? Yeah. Why don't you guys just go together and not be with her? We should just leave each other's wives for each other.

Leave each other's wives. I'll leave Janie, you leave Cool Up. No problem. Easy peasy. You don't even feel anything about that, you sociopath? Crisscross. Crisscross applesauce. Will make you jump, jump. Crisscross applesauce make you want to jump. jump. Crisscross applesauce make you wanna jump.

How are those guys doing? I hope they're doing okay, let's look them up. What's going on with Crisscross these days? Do you think they still wear their pants backwards? See if, oh, death of Chris Kelly. Oh no. So yeah, I mean, you know, basically time comes first all.

Basically that is true. Josh, I guess that's true. It's something I have to realize every time we all talk and bring that up over and over again. Someday we will cross the river Jordan. The river sticks. God. Going to hell. You know what sucks?

If you go to that hell, you have to have fucking money to give the guy to take you to hell. So you have to remember to bring, like, hey, I'm all out of money, don't take me to hell. I thought the whole thing was you can't take it with you. You can't take it with you, exactly! So how am I supposed to bring my money to hell?

Yeah, unless you're an ancient Greek. Okay. So I have to hit up an ATM right before I die. Yeah, one of those coin ones. Coin ATMs. How come Coinstar doesn't just give you coins if you want it? That's the thing.

Yeah, they should do it both ways. The give a penny, take a penny system should extend to Coinstar where it's like, you can hit up Coinstar and be like, hey, can I have 50 cents? Yeah, here's what you can do. I'll get you next time. Shove a bunch of dollar bills down that chute

and then you get coins. I really used to have fun saving up my coins and going to the grocery store and dumping them in there. I would be like, I got 30 bucks, babe, or 80 bucks sometimes. It's so satisfying. It's gonna be a lot of money. Here's what Coinstar should do. Coinstar is so satisfying.

Coinstar should be a place where you go into the brick and mortar, like it should have a brick and mortar place where you like- It's just big building with one Coinstar in there. But you put in, say like $1,000 or $. And then at any point, you can get coins out of it. And like, you know, one of their machines, like if you need money, you can get like, oh, I need twenty dollars. You get twenty dollars in coins.

And then it gives you also interest on the thousand dollars that you put in originally. Interesting. That's interesting. Okay. And this is interesting. This and so is there a place where so instead of being like a machine, it's more like a place where there's like, because I feel like at that point they could expand and have like people behind. Human beings. Yeah.

Take the machine out of it. Make Coinstar into human beings. With like a building. Five of them at one time. Yeah. Yes. Do you agree they should be indoors? Oh yeah, absolutely.

Nobody's like saying yeah to that. It shouldn't be Alfresco. Yeah. Do you think anyone's ever tried to rob an ATM with like putting a gun up to it and say, I'll blow this thing away. You know what? There was this woman and I know you have a camera in you. I don't know whether she was unhoused or um, just down on her luck, but she was posted up outside the bank. And honestly, I was like, you figured it out because I'm going to give you five bucks. I can't go into the bank and honestly I was like you figured it out because I'm gonna give you five bucks. I can't go into the bank. Why are you going into a bank dear? I go to the bank all the time. Why? All the time. It's not your business. I remember having to go to the bank all the time when I was

young and I was just so happy when ATMs were invented. Well I go to the ATM at the bank sometimes but I go to the bank often and I just have many reasons to go to the bank and I don't need to tell you about them. Do you have a safe deposit box or something that you're staring at your jewelry? Come on, tell me. That's where you keep your comp. You've got your compremont in there on me and Scott.

The blackmail material. Oh yeah, of course. But I don't lock that up. I let that be free in case. Under the planter. Sometimes I need that. I in case I just- No, I lock it up. Oh, you just hid it under the planter? Yeah, sometimes I need that. I just want to be able to wave it in your face at a moment's notice.

That is fun. Nice setup, by the way. I can't imagine, I know when we started Earwolf, we had to go to the bank to sign some paperwork or something like that. Well, I still deposit checks at the bank often, even though I know I could do it on my phone. But it's one of my millennial things, probably like the way I use my computer to do, to buy

like an airplane ticket. People this led to a debate online when I was talking about this on something. I don't know if it was on here or where, but that like certain activities are for the phone and certain activities are for the computer. And I, I do kind of like depositing checks into the bank because I often will get checks, and I used to do it on my phone, and then I would get confused.

Did I deposit this? Did I not? And then I'd have to go look, and then I felt bad. I didn't want to shred them after I did it because I felt like, well, what if it didn't work? So I like to do it at the bank. And by the way, this is partly why I wasn't going to tell you what I do.

The rare freedom snore sound. This is partly why I wasn't gonna tell you what I do. The rare freedom snores. This is your fault. You made me tell you. I didn't wanna talk about this. I never wanted to talk about the bank. This is my personal business. Speaking of buildings.

Yes, thank you. Where you go into. That's a good segue. I went to a bath house. Weed stores. Bath house. Weed stores. Bath house. I would see Bette Midler, because if I miss him. Weed stores are too big. They don't need to be as big as they are. Yeah.

I mean, weed is a tiny item. You know what I mean? That's honestly, I haven't been to a weed store in- Like I understand going to Ikea, you need to have like a huge warehouse and- That's insane. You know what I mean but we because furniture is bigger than weed yeah exactly although what if you find yourself in weed stores a lot or you're just driving by and noticing that they're large No there's one in our neighborhood that we patronize. This is a mic task it's sort of like you handle that. I'll go to the bank. I'll go to the bank and make sure we can get the

weed. This is not a gendered chore for us. Withderall for $3,000 every week. By the way, can I just give a little shout out to Out of Office? We get sent these gummies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those rule and that's kind of my new ML. Sol? They're good gummies. Yeah, I guess they're, but then the gummies are called out of office. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're a sponsor. I'm not even being paid to talk about this, but I like them because they're 1.5 THC or three. And I usually, a five will take me out, honestly. So I can kind of just do a little light thing, which I really like. I like the three for sleepy. Yeah, the threes are great for sleep, and the one more five is great for a daytime fun.

A daytime fun? It's just a little bit of pep. I like to escape my problems. It doesn't even do anything really that strong. I like to medicate with drugs. That you're really, yeah, it just feels good. But they're, so the one in our neighborhood is, it's taken a, it takes up so much space.

Like it's two or three storefronts worth of space. Why? And they only, it's the, the products on display repeat. Right. You know what I mean? You don don't even see them over and over again. You don't need to have that many displays because you go over and like, Oh, what do they have over here? Oh, the same stuff. Right. It's cause if it's so busy, that it's full of people. It's never that busy. There's never like even, even at Christmas,

there's not like a Christmas rush at the Christmas. My thing with weed stores is they need to stop calling them things like ice cream because I got all excited about going to an ice cream store and then I walked in and it was weed. Oh, nice dreams. Cheech and Chong. Well, they did cross out the N and the D and put a C above it. I've never seen a Cheech and Chong movie. I think I saw one. Not really. I think I've seen Chong movie. I think I saw one. Not really. I think I've seen like pieces.

I don't, yeah. Paul Rubin's is in a few of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They should have just, you know, like train the camera on him and then I watch him the rest of the movie. They should have done like a movie that was like his big adventure.

Yeah. Not Pee-wees though. No, Paul Rubin's big adventure. I'm just curious what that would be. I'm excited for the documentary mode. I guess going to Hollywood and becoming a success. We have to take a break. What? We'll be right back.

Okay. Creating really great retail experiences is tough. I agree. Especially with multiple stores, teams of staff, fulfillment centers, separate workflows. It's a lot. Okay. It's not easy, but with Shopify point of sale, you can do it all without complexity.

Uh huh. Good timing on that, right? You know what? This reminds me of something. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across a thousand locations. Paul, imagine this. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient.

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And we're back. Hey, great. It is great. Doesn't it feel like we haven't been together in quite a long time? I mean, it's only been a week for the listeners, but I think we haven't. It's been a couple weeks. I mean, you and I saw each other for our wonderful episode of Scott Hasn't Seen. We did, which was really fun. I was listening to that in the car the way it was. Oh wow. Have you seen that movie?

No, I have not seen that one. I think I saw the first two. I've not seen the third one. And the car. Oh, wow. Have you seen that movie? No, I have not seen that one. I think I saw the first two. I've not seen the third one. I love it. This is the before time of day series. Before midnight. You'll hear me talk about how much I love it, but I love it. Before the eclipse.

That should be the next one. Yeah. And it's on a day where there's going to be either a lunar or a solar eclipse. And they're like, we don't want to stare at it. Yeah. But one of them does and they go blind. Yeah. Yeah. Like when they watch the sunset, they watch the eclipse. And I go, Oh, my eyes. This is okay. I'm somewhat of a smart person, right? I'm not so stupid.

Sure. Why is looking at the eclipse any worse than looking at the sun? You know, I really don't know. And I actually almost don't believe that. No, I would never encourage someone to look at it, nor would I ever look at it. But I just don't understand. I'm going to take a guess. That your eye does not contract in the way that it normally does when you stare at something bright.

You're staring pupils here. Yes, and so it allows more of the harmful UV rays, which still exist even though they're being blocked. It doesn't seem like it, yeah. Into your eyes. That's my guess. I mean, that makes as much sense as anything to me. I don't think we should. Anything or? As anything in the world. Well, okay, here's an idea. That's my guess. Yeah, I mean, that makes as much sense as anything to me. I don't think anything or anything in the world. Here's an idea. It's religion. It blinds

your eyes because if you look at it, this little demon comes up and pokes you in the eyes. This is my theory. And he's just waiting for it to happen. But I'm trying to remember if I've ever been told the reason. All I know is you absolutely must not do this. I think Scott just told you the reason and he's a scientist and it's definitely true. What he does. I'm just guessing. I, and I don't mean to sound stupid. Should we look it up? That's not the reason. Why should one not share? Should they be called look it up?

It's pretty much. We look up a lot of stuff lately. Lately we do, But that's just lately. Do we remember it though? No. And I'm sure we talk about it again and again. This says, the main reason you shouldn't look directly at it. The main reason!

I mean, there's so many. Yeah. Out of solar eclipse is that the sun is partially obscured by the moon, which can cause the eye's pupils to dilate, allowing more light in and potentially leading to serious damage to the world. Well, there you go. nice call. Scott knew something. What are some of the other reasons? Does it talk about the little demons? How many reasons do you need? It isn't fun. Like go watch TV or something.

Like you're hearing one reason you go pass, what else? What else you got? You know I was, I just said demons and it made me think of another thing. Demons? When I was home in Chicago. I, well, my, my college mascot is the blue demons. Is it really how fun? And we, Mike and I drove through Lincoln park where DePaul university is. And if only I knew a Lincoln park song, I would start singing it right now. It's done so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter.

Under the L train there used to be a place called Demon Dog, that was like a very greasy hot dog fries yummy tummy tummy place. And it's gone and I thought, I felt kind of sad. I was like, that's been there forever or you know, it had been there for a long time when I was there. And I was just like, we need those kind of greasy little places. I'm going to bring this up. And this is absolutely throwing a friend under the bus. Oh, wow. Can you name them? Yes, I can. Wow.

I'm going to name and shame. Is it one of us? No. Good. But Scott, you were there for this. Oh, wow. When we were on tour. Yes. And we were in Chicago. Yes. Lily Sullivan were there for this. Oh, wow. When we were on tour. Yes. And we were in Chicago.

Yes. Lily Sullivan was there. Right. We were, we were talking about hot dogs. Yeah. Yes. And we said, where did you go for hot dogs? Right. And she fucking evaded this question. Whoa. She acted like it was weird to ask. Whoa. This is Chicago. It's a hot dog. Yeah. Yeah. She grew up there, but she did spend a lot of time there. I mean, I think she, she grew up in the sense of like emotionally part of her growing up was in, she became a woman there. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. She became a woman. Yeah. Um, yeah. Didn't she finally then say seven 11? Cause I know there was a lot of 7-Eleven talks. I finally admit she never had one. We joked about that, but then she finally named a place.

And we're like, why didn't she say it? Why wouldn't she say it? Weiner Circle was a hotspot and I, they're mean to you there and that's a fun. What is it with these Chicago places, everyone's mean to you. Cause they just want an excuse to be mean. Cause we're nice people and we like to yell that for fun.

Is there a third place in Chicago where they get mean? That's two. That seems like enough. Can I ask you a question? If the town of Chicago wasn't there, would you still want to live there? And if it was just the plains that it was? Yes, because that's where I'm from.

Are you saying if Chicago the city city was no other just a barren lot of the buildings. So you're saying it's like a parking lot, not just like the place I will amend it to it is a parking lot. So they remove all of the buildings and people. Yes. They pave it and then they just make space. They've saved the entire square footage of the Chicago. Yes. And then they would you still want to live? Would you still want to live there? Would you still like to live there? Yes.

Are you allowed to have a house? No. Okay. So I lay in a parking spot. Yes, you're not allowed to have even an RV. But I can lay down. Do you have a car? No, you can't.

Can I lay down in a parking spot? You can lay down in the parking spot, but you can't bring mattresses. So no cars allowed, but they have demarcated parking spots. This is interesting. This is interesting. And it's a whole city-sized parking lot? parking spot, but you can't bring that. So no cars allowed, but they have demarcated parking spots. This is interesting. This is interesting. And it's a whole city sized parking lot. Yeah. As far as I can see, I can live close to the water. Yeah.

Oh, so they haven't paid that over. No, although they there may be plans to. If you pave over the lake, it'll break through. Do you think? Yeah. The lake will start to come out. Do you think? Yeah. The lake will start to come out. Hmm. Just shoot out through the cracks.

I guess if you pave over with ice. Yeah. Pave over with ice. That's smart. Can you pave over the entire world if you really were trying to? You'd make a new song for Joni Mitchell. Like, how long would it take? Paradise by the dashboard lake?

Cheeseburger on the parking lot? But I guess how long would that take you really want to ask that to pave over the world you really okay Scott You want to get into this right now? No, no, no, no, no, no, cuz you're like all about science today So you really want to figure out the numbers on how long? Okay, Bill Nye, so you want to know if you could actually pave over the whole world. Okay, okay, okay, let's start with this house. You just pave it over, okay? That'll take about five months. Okay, Neil deGrasse Tyson, you wanna know-

Why would it take five months? Because you gotta break it down and move it out and all that stuff. You're saying the whole world, five months? Break it down, move it out and all that stuff. No, this house, just this area. Just one house. I think people would be doing it simultaneously. Break it down, move it out, and all that stuff. No, this house, just this area. Just one house. I think people would be doing it simultaneously.

Break it down, move it out, and all that stuff. Break it down, move it out, and all that stuff. The citizens of the world decided to do this. We all were like, we'll all chip in on a weekend. We could do it in a weekend, I bet, the entire world, if everyone did it. And when you're saying paving the entire world, we're saying covering every-

Demolishing all the buildings. Well, if you're just gonna pave over the demolished buildings, like it's just chunks of whatever and you just can smooth it out and then put a parking lot over it, that'll take less time. But if you have to take the debris away, then that's gonna take longer.

But where are you putting it? We throw the debris in the ocean because you don't pave over the ocean. Well, we're eventually going to. Why don't you, if we're gonna do this, let's do it right. Imagine if the world map was just asphalt. You want it done fast, you want it done right. Can you imagine the United States map and

it's just brown asphalt? Brown asphalt. Why is it brown? It's usually black. Well, I mean, it's. We put some dye in there to make it special. So the map, so the globe still looks different. It's kind of like terrain. Okay. You know what? I'm starting to have a sense. You know what? He's got a point. When Chicago was first, people said like, oh, let's lay down stakes here.

Was that during the spring when it's nice? Lay down stakes. I guess if you pull up stakes is when you leave. But was it during the spring when it's nice? And then people were like, oh, shit, once when to get really bad. November, October. What the weather? Yeah. Oh, not October. I wasn't really listening to you. I would say.

It gets bad in November. It starts to get cold, but it gets bad in December, January. I mean. But even then, I was just home in January and I wouldn't say it's you get used to it. You get used to it. I wouldn't be like you get used to it. You get used to it. I wouldn't be like, it's so bad. It is very gray. It's easier to grow up with weather like that than it is to move to weather like that when you're an adult.

When I moved to Milwaukee, it was shocking because I grew up here in Southern California. And so I moved to Milwaukee in November and it was just like, what? How does this, how does anyone do this? When I lived in New York from 2008 to 2009, I had not experienced, I'd been living out here for such a long time. And that winter was one of the coldest on record to date. And it was fucking rough, man. Yeah, when like your boogers freeze in your nose. Yeah.

You know that feeling? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. So your nose is like a little freezer. It just feels like a little crust. And you're just like, do you know what it feels like to me is like, it's like your, it's somehow separated.

Yeah. Like you. It's like its own thing inside. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah. It's a really weird feeling. Like your nose hairs are frozen. Yeah, it's a really weird feeling like your nose hairs are frozen Yeah, the most important thing is you just have to have a coat that literally goes to the floor Like if I have a coat that has had to tell I'm like, this is fine. That's what I basically have

What about a collar though that goes up? Fine, but you're not I mean I it's just struggle. I'm not acting it's a strong way people should be wearing No, it's terrible. It I'm not acting like it's a struggle. Your face gets a little, oh god. It's terrible, it's terrible. I don't like it, but I'm also saying you get adjusted. You just. No, but that's the thing is that I had not experienced that for such a long time. And I was like, this is impossible.

People can't live like this. I know. People should be wearing ski masks and goggles, but they're too vain, right? Yeah. They're like, I want to look good at least. Yeah. Right? That's what they good at least. So they, right. That's what they're afraid of.

So they just don't do it. I didn't like covering up my suit. So I never wore a winter coat or a hat. And I didn't like people not seeing my gorgeous eyes. Just wouldn't cover them. I'd leave them out. Your eyes? Yeah, I'd leave them out.

Whoa. When your eyeballs froze. Like a dish? Or when there's a saint that carries her eyeballs around on a dish. If eyeballs froze and you ate it, do you think it'd be more like mochi or more like- If eyeballs froze and you ate it! What do you mean more like mochi or more like a popsicle? Well, honey, uh-

Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, if eyeballs froze and you ate it. I don't think that's going to happen, but uh- Oh, what if? I think it would be like, if it froze like mochi or like a popsicle tip, just the tip, just the crack. Oh, I love popsicle tips. I got, I got that far in the episode. I wish they would just make popsicle tips like that Seinfeld episode where they just

did the muffin. Yeah. Why? Why are the tips better than the shaft? You know, you know, it kind of gives you that feeling if you really did want that at Trader Muffin top. Muffin top, yeah. Why are the tips better than the shaft? Oh, so good. It's the beginning of the popsicle. You know what kind of gives you that feeling if you really did want that? At Trader Joe's, they have these

chocolate covered strawberries frozen. It's really good. They're very small, they're very delicious. And low calories. Is that Trader Jose or? I think that's Trader, what, who makes like frozen treats like an Italian, like Trader Giotto. Trader Giotto. Trader Giotto. Was it treats like an Italian, like che reggiotto. Che reggiotto.

Was it the like Asian one, like Trader Chang? I think that's when they stopped doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was real harsh. I mean, Jose is kind of. It's not great walking the line. It's not great, but it's like, you know.

I get that it's like a little kitschy. It's not great, but it is good. It's not great, but it's really fun. I think if you froze an eyeball and ate it, it would be like frozen grape. Yeah. I think so. I think that's the nearest one to win. Did you ever play that in the Halloween games

where you're like- Going through a haunted house. But it wasn't- Feel the odds, be ever in your favor. It wasn't frozen grapes, it was peeled grapes. Peeled grapes, yeah. I remember I bought, I was doing a haunted house. He's so loved.

Which why would a peeled grape be more like an eyeball? Well, you know it wasn't a grape. I mean, you wouldn't think it was a grape. Yeah. I remember I bought, I was doing a haunted house. He's so low. Which why would a peeled grape be more like an eyeball? Well, you know, it wasn't a grape. I mean, you wouldn't think it was a grape. Yeah. I never think it's a grape. It probably wasn't a grape. You never saw. When I eat grapes, I have to look before every one.

And you're like, is this from a haunted house? I used to love doing haunted houses. There's also my house full of cobwebs. Well, that's your decor. I remember one in my friend's backyard where I went to the market and I bought like some sort of disgusting like innards or something from a cow. Intestines?

Intestines or something like that. And I like was holding them up and holding them up. And it was really gross. Let's try it until you yawn on mic. Yeah, let's do it on our own time. Just for the listener. I was yawning but I was also saying, oh. Hey, let's do it on our own time. Just for the listener. I was young, but I was also saying, Oh, hey, you don't need to explain why he's living

it. Sliving, living. That's Paris Hilton's and she's got a new saying. Yeah. Awesome. I don't even know how new it is. Slipping. God, that's vaguely failure. Is it like winning? Just look at that. Charlie Sheen's? They're having a reality show, reality recap, yeah. Tiger blood. Denise Richards' fam, gonna have a reality show.

Great. Love it. I like Denise Richards. I enjoy watching her on Real Housewives. Dr. Christmas? That's right, Dr. Christmas. Is that what she is? Dr. Christmas Jones.

She played that in the James Bond movie. Oh, Dr. Christmas. Is that what she is? She played- Dr. Christmas Jones. She played that in the James Bond movie. Oh, Dr. Christmas was her name? Yeah. That's a fun name. They have a lot of fun names in those movies. They have a lot of fun on James Bond. It was also at the end- They have a lot of fun on those movies.

After they fuck, he could say, who says Christmas comes once a year? Is that real? Yeah. That's very real. That's so nasty. It's real? It's fucking nasty, man.

No, but that's like what I would write Like that's like that's like silly. Why don't you write the next James Bond? All right. Oh my god Making such dirty jokes as it's why Austin Powers is what it is, right? Yeah, baby Yeah, that's why Austin Powers is kind of like but they're already making fun of it That's what I Powers is kind of like, but they're already making fun of it. You know what I mean? That's what I'm kind of surprised by. Cause I felt like- In on the joke, Austin Powers.

Yeah. I've never seen those. And of course people will say, do it on newcomers. And of course I'll say, yawn off Mike. And then- I'm not yawning. I'm opening my mouth to speak, but I can't get a fucking word in edgewise.

Cause that woman keeps trying to have opinions. In between yawns. Anyways, what I think is blah blah blah. You're grotesque. I don't like to hear people coming down on the Austin Powers franchise. Would you please take it back? I forgot who I was talking to and I do apologize. We had a good time making those films. Of course.

I know you and the gang really put your heart and soul into it. And you worked what, eight hours? If that. How long were you there, would you say? OK, well, total, my experience with Austin Powers, you got it first. Are you counting the audition? Yes.

First do the first audition. I had to drive there probably an hour. Okay. I actually missed that. Well, you also had to set an alarm. Don't you miss auditions? That's the night before. That took me one minute.

First you had to accept the audition. I just want to clarify. I want to say I miss auditions because we don't have them in person anymore. I do too. I miss going to auditions. I loved it so much. Well, because it actually gave you a shot.

I also miss being thought of. Yeah, exactly. So then the audition probably, I had to wait around for probably a half hour. With other guys who look exactly like you. Yeah, and then I had to do the audition, which took, you know, 10 minutes. So I'm all-

10 minutes? Yeah, probably. Did you audition with sides? You had to say things? Yeah, so I had to do like a Michael Caine kind of thing. And then so we're talking, I'm all in at an hour and 40 and then an hour to get back home. So two hours and 40 minutes at this point, right? Well, did you prep for the audition?

Yeah. So that's- Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. So that's two hours, 45 minutes. Probably got a haircut, bought a new suit. Sure. But then I had to go to, over there on Santa Monica, the studios to meet Mike Myers and Jay. And so I had to drive there probably half an hour,

drive back was an hour. Half an hour, nice. From the valley at the time. And then the meeting, I had to like meet and talk with them for 90 minutes or something like that. And then... Let's put one second, 90 minutes? Something, I think it was about that.

We've, I mean, we're peers, we were chatting. No, no, no, of course, yeah. Talking about the biz. Talking about the franchise, our hopes for it. We used to have Dan Tennis, yeah. And then on the day, it was in the middle of nowhere, I remember. So that's like an hour to get wherever it was in an hour back. And then the day took, I think I was there probably only half day.

Half day. A half day. And then then the premiere. I mean, that's... Were you invited to the premiere? I was. And that's it was at Universal Amphitheater. Right. I don't know if you can count the premieres work. I think it's I mean, it's part of your promotional duties to go have no one take a picture of you. Yeah, get on the red carpet after all of the doctors who left.

Anyway, it was all in. It just seemed exhausting, but it was worth it. But we did not total up the time, did we? Because I wasn't keeping track. I wasn't keeping track. Okay, good. Yeah, I think it totaled about six hours total. You think all total?

Plus the premiere. Half day on set is already six. Okay, for about two hours, 45 minutes for your five minutes of prep and two hours and 40 minutes for the audition. I think it's probably around 12 hours total. Okay. Which do you feel fairly compensated? I think at the time I was it was but that's including the runtime of the movie that you watched. I think so. You stayed for the whole

premiere? Oh yeah. Okay. Did you go to the party afterwards? Don't believe I went to the party. Wow. I can't recall though. Um, and, uh, you don't want to hang out with Michael York. Um, but yeah, uh, I, I, I, I must've gotten about $1,500 for it at the time. This is in the late 90s. Congrats. Really needed it. And I'm, I'm sure I get residuals. Yeah. I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do. Yeah, probably. Right. I must. You don't ever look at that? My dad would get King Kong residuals.

It was always thrilling. Wow. When a check would come and we'd open it up. From King Kong. Himself. And he would sign it. A big paw print. But it would always be something to the effect of like $15.

That's pretty good. Yeah, back then. I got a bunch of Mr. Show checks the other day. Really? Yeah. For like decent amount of money. For where were they airing? I have no fucking idea.

That's always crazy. Don't they usually say on the check somewhere like this is? Yeah, but I don't care. Oh, all right. I forgot. You can log into the SAG-AFTRO website to see what was coming your way. SAG-AFTRO website! Really?

SAG-AFT after website to me. Dee dee, dee dee. All right, we have to take a break. Bye. You know, elevating my style, it used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quince, we get high end, versatile pieces at prices that are actually affordable.

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returns quince.com slash freedom. Hey everyone, today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. On a previous episode, previously on threedom, I should say, we shared that Lauren's goal for 2025 was better fitness. And Scott and Paul's goal for 2025 was to put their brains in jars. When I say them, I mean me and Paul, I guess. So anyway, we've already set the bar

for our goals pretty high. And they're not going as well as we'd hoped. A month in, my brain is still in my cranium. It's tough to find the right scientist to do it. But you know, if you're falling behind on your resolutions and you need a partner to make things automatic and to turn your financial goals around around we recommend our sponsor Acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for

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and investing for your future today. Paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier one compensation provided investing involves risk, Acorns advisors, LLC and SEC registered investment advisor, view important disclosures at acorns.com slash freedom. We're back and Paul, I, I, something has been nagging at the back of my brain for Something has been nagging at the back of my brain for, since the last time I saw you. Cool Up? My brain?

What? Oh, so you're saying Cool Up has been nagging me? I thought that's what you were saying. No, Cool Up hasn't been nagging me. But she is your brain. She is my brain. But I called Lauren and I was like, Lauren, are you as confused about this as I am?

Lauren, uh, lap dog. What's up? And we were both like, yeah, what the fuck is Paul even talking about when he talks about this? And we, what we were wondering was we were like, what is a three-cher? You really don't know? Neither of us could figure it out. Well, okay, don't speak for me.

Well, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna contradict me? I'm just gonna say. Don't speak for me, well, what are you gonna say? Don't speak. Are you just gonna agree with me and I can't speak for you? I just wanna say. Because I think it saves time for me to talk't speak for you? I just wanna say...

I think it saves time for me to talk for both of us. I just wanna say I didn't know what a three-cher was. That's exactly what I said you were gonna say. Don't speak for me! Guys, quite simply, a three-cher... Quite simply, a three-dom. A three-dom, oh shit. Are you making fun of me?

It's not as simple as you thought, is it? You're talking isn't so easy, is it, buddy? It's hard, buddy. Ha ha ha ha. Ugh. A three-true is a Bustero. And today's Bustero is submitted by Josh. Quite simply, Josh.

I'll never ask about this again. Bustero, got it. It's a Bustero. Bustero. Got it! This Bustero is called Genie. Two players discover a magic lamp and rub it together, releasing a Genie, the third player, that must grant each of them three wishes. However, the Genie is mischievous and adds an ironic condition

to each wish. For example, if one player asks for the ability to fly, the Genie says, okay, you can fly now, but only indoors. What? The players who discover the lamp take turns making wishes, trying their best to outsmart the genie and come out ahead on their wishes. After they've been granted their three wishes, the mischievous genie judges which player used their wishes best before turning their lamp. And then what do they do in the lamp?

I think they sit around on a round couch like the original Jeannie did. That's a cool idea. On I Dream Of. Okay. Those never took off past the 60s, these round couches. You know, I've seen- No, because of talk shows.

I've seen some like, maybe it's like Instagram things where it's like, bring back the conversation pit, you know, those couches where it's like a lowered living room, like a sunken living room. I do like that, I gotta say. I think it's pretty cool. I think that would be pretty awesome. I wish our house was big enough to do that.

Yeah, that'd be cool. Houses gotta get bigger so we can add conversation pits. We do have a thing that we long dreamed of. I want every house to be 25% bigger. Me too. Bigger. Yeah. Wider.

We do have, faster. Taller. Bigger. Yeah. Wider. We do have, faster. Taller. Stronger. Do do do do do do do do do do do do. We do have two couches opposite each other. Yeah. Which- Oh, I've sat on those.

You've sat on those couches. Yeah. But it's nice for entertaining. It's also nice fucking we lie on each couch watching TV together. It's fun. Yeah, it's so fun. We have two couches very similar

that face each other in the one room and they're so uncomfortable. Oh no. I think they were bought on looks. I gave- Yeah. Looks 10. Comfort three.

Yeah. That's tough. That is tough. I have some things that I've bought, like furniture pieces where I'm like, if I understood exactly what this was, I wouldn't have made this choice. Like I have one couch that is like a velvet sort of,

and it's like the most easily stained crusty fucking, I have to like, I leave it like covered. Like with kids like slapping yogurt hands on it. I'm like, I can't get this clean. And it was supposed, my friend owned it. It was like, oh, it's really easy to keep clean. Your friend owned your couch before you? Like she had the same couch and I was like do you like it?

I like how it looks. Yeah, and then I I do regret that purchase. I think about it a lot. What kind of just it's it's green It's actually very popular. I'll just toss it in the trash. Yeah Yeah, I mean I probably could sell it for a decent amount of money because it's how much how much do you want for it? a dollar decent amount of money. How much? How much do you want for it? A dollar. Do you think someone would pay that? That is a decent amount of money. But I have a matching chair and they're comfortable but it's just I don't like the fabric. And then I'm like recovering it too expensive for the level of couch that we're talking about. Yeah. We have a new one coming in. Put plastic on it. On tomorrow maybe? Yeah. Hey congrats. In place of one

of the ones you don't like or in a different one? No, in place of the one I- No, those stay forever. Those are beautiful. The one I like is, we use it all the time, so it's just worn, it's totally worn out. And then also with Emmy and everything.

So we're, we recovered, and now it's just like, let's get the fuck out of this place. Speaking of getting the fuck out of this place. Bye. Let's get the fuck out of this conversation and into this getting the fuck out of this place, let's get the fuck out of this conversation and into this Bustero, our genie. Now who would like to be the genie first? I will.

Okay, Scott, you are the genie. We will make wishes. You give us ironic wish grants. Then we will try to make our wishes irony proof. But don't, don't you, here's, here's where I beg to differ. I think in making the wishes, you're trying to make them irony proof. This isn't a second step.

Forgive me. What you're saying from the very beginning. Read the example again, or tell me again. I'm not gonna do that. Or just tell me. Here's what we know, the genie is going to what what we asked for he's gonna try to add an ironic thing to it to make it suck. So basically we're trying yeah I'm talking. Does that work on this show? It did for one second. It was

exciting. It was that was really exciting. It was cool. I have to admit from the outside. You alpha'd me hard. I mean, for one thing, I was so glad it didn't happen to me. And I loved watching you do it to you. It was really exciting. I think you should do your wishes one at a time too. Okay, but I want to understand again,

what it is that I'm saying. Okay, so the genie is going to grant wishes ironically only. So when you make your wish, you're trying to make it as irony proof as possible. So you know the Twilight Zone episode where they get three wishes and then one of the wishes he's like, I wish I had a million dollars and then a million dollars gets delivered. But then they get a huge tax bill for $978,000 or something. Still decent. I'd take it. But you wanna basically make your wishes

as bulletproof as possible. Okay, Paul go first. One at a time. Well, first we have to find the genie. Oh, well where is he? He's in the lamp. So are you gonna rub the lamp or do you want me to? What if we both did it at the same time?

What if we do it with our feet in case he's like a foot fetish guy? Great idea. Here, can we choose our? Ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, ew. Hi guys. I regret that.

We just saw the genie's O face. Ha ha ha. Hi guys. Is this, did you rub this lamp together? We did. I'm going to give you both three wishes then. Wow! We have smarted him already.

Wow. Alright. Hey you. Yes. With the thing. This rocky guy? This orange man? Who is he?

Oh okay. Ben. Oh Ben, I've heard about you. Don't ask him what time it is. Okay, yeah. What's your first wish? My first wish is, I wish to perform opera at Carnegie Hall,

the famous one that everybody knows, and I'm good at opera and everybody loves it. All right, I'm gonna grant your wish. You get a wonderful time slot at 5 a.m. on Christmas Day. And anyone who happens to be there, who wants to come to the show, we'll love it. And let's see how many you can, how many people you can sell tickets for.

It looks to be like, oh, three people and they're all your family. Wow, congratulations. But they do love it. They do love it, yeah. Honestly? You don't realize this, JD, but that is more ironic than you realize, yeah.

The family loving it That's all you wanted right? That's right. So good. This is a happy happy wish for you. Happy JD. Mm-hmm. I Would like to have The ability to Get whatever clothes I want Choose them and get to wear them. Every day I get to pick out a whole new outfit. Sorry, start over, honey.

Every day, my wish is that every day I will get to pick out a whole new outfit, head to toe, clothes, shoes, jewelry, and I can pick out whatever I want in the world and wear it. Okay. I am granting this. It's good you added and wear it. Yeah, I know.

I am granting this wish to you with the caveat that you're going to die tonight. And you will never get to actually do any of this. That doesn't seem fair. Cool, thanks for the wish granted. Jesus. And I wasn't gonna die before this? Nope. This genie has too much power.

I don't really want the wish. Well, you got it. Okay. I'll take care of this. Yeah. Hey, Genie, for my second wish. Yeah. I wish for my friend Lauren here.

Yeah. To not die tonight. Okay. But to live to a ripe old age, die in her sleep, surrounded by family, by the people that she loves the most, and to die peacefully and quietly. Thank you. Wonderful. She will live to a ripe old age. And when you said ripe, I of course assumed that you meant the age that a fruit becomes ripe.

So two weeks and she's going to die quietly because she will have her throat slit and she can't cry out and in her sleep. Yeah. Someone's going to come and cut her throat. And that's peacefully scary. In her sleep, yeah. Someone's going to come and cut her throat. And that's peacefully. Scary. She won't remember it. And I'll be surrounded.

She'll be dead. That's peace to me. Will I be surrounded by my family? Yeah, they'll all watch. That's awful. One of them does it. That's awful. So anyway, you got another two weeks.

So enjoy those clothes. Now I'm being murdered by my family. By the way, he said, he's giving it away because he said, I assume you meant how fruit is right. Fruit is right. Well, you got to be more bulletproof. You have to be really specific. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to my friend.

Oh, really? Hey, Jeannie. Yeah. How about this? I'll take it off myself. I'll wish for something for Paul. OK. I wish my friend Paul that he would get to pick out whatever clothes he wants from head to toe every single day and wear them. Are you fucking kidding me? Aren't you lucky? You're not going to elaborate on it?

And that he won't die in two weeks or tomorrow or tonight. All right. That he'll die much later than that, such as age 95. I'll grant this wish. Paul, you get to pick out your clothes every single day. Okay, which I do anyway. Well, you can pick out whatever you want. Whatever you want.

In the world. Okay, okay. Whatever you want in the world. All right. Of course, you can't wear it. You're going to be naked the entire time, but you'll be naked until you're 95 years old and everyone will point and laugh at your tiny dick. Why is he naked?

He's getting to pick his clothes. He doesn't get to wear them. I'm not going to go outside then. I don't think people would point and laugh at- And you're going to live in a clear house. Fuck. That's unfair. You added that.

He didn't get back in. You added that. Get back in your bottle, you fucking asshole. I'm not the one making the wish. Such a piece of shit, this genie. This guy sucks. Why do we even do this? OK, I have an idea.

Oh, well, it's your turn. My wish even do this? Okay, I have an idea. Oh, well, it's your turn. My wish. Was this wish number three? Yeah. I wish that you, the genie.

That's what I was hoping would happen. Would, A. Oh, we get to do A, B, C. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Gladly. B, eat a to do A, B, C. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Gladly. B. Eat a bunch of shit.

Gladly. C. Die in the next 10 minutes. I have been alive for so long and I only have a bottle to roam around in. Thank you so much. This is such a great gift that you're giving me. Okay. Okay. Can I tell you something? You've been trapped in this bottle for such a long time. Been trapped in the bottle. We free you from this bottle.

You've been freeing me. You've enslaved me. You were the one that said you were going to give us wishes. We just rubbed a fucking bottle. Hey, hey, it's my turn. I wish that you would stay in that bottle forever and have the worst life that ever happened to anyone and you hate it and you have to live it forever and no one ever rubs those genie bottle again. It's a good one.

I'll grant this wish, but you don't get what you would have gotten if you had asked for three more wishes. I don't care because all of my wishes led to me dying. Well, you're gonna die in two weeks and your family's going to sleep your fucking throat. And I wish all your powers were gone. And then who would you wish that you were me or you? I wish that I was me because you're a piece of shit.

I'm a piece of shit, but I'll be alive. And at least I have dignity. You'll be alive, what, living in a fucking bottle? Yeah, well, it's better than having my fucking throat slit. No, it isn't. It actually isn't. I'll slit your fucking throat right now. I'll slit your fucking throat. Where's the shit I'm supposed to eat? Watch this. That's your thing. I didn't think that would work but it did. I'm just a human. He's only missed on the bottom. I don't have any special genie powers. You fucking idiot. Oh great now I committed murder. You just killed me. Good. A man. You're an asshole and you deserve it. Stab him in the ass.

Here. Oh my tiny butt! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There you go. That's called Jeannie. That was fun. Hey little Jeannie. Hey little Jeannie gotta go for a wiggle. Hey little Peony. Gotta go for a wiggle. I think that brings us to the end of the show. I think that brings us naturally to the show's conclusion. That brings us naturally to the show's conclusion. That was fun.

It was fun. Thank you Josh for that Busterro. Guys, I want to tell people that Varietopia were doing our St. Patrick's Day show on March 16th, 7 p.m. Pacific at Lodrum and live streamed to the world. And then Varietopia is going on tour in the springtime in April. Tickets are all... When young men's flights turn to fancy?

It's true. Wow. It's true. And all tickets are available at pauliftthomkins.com slash live. Good shit. I would like to promote that I will be doing Comedy Bang Bang at South by Southwest on March 8th. And I'm also doing a couple other shows that weekend,

including Ascat and Improv for Humans, I believe. So come out and see that if you're gonna be at South by. That's gonna be in, yeah, like a week or something, right? It's coming right up. It's wild. It's coming up, man. It's coming up fast. It's coming up.

Anyway, if you want to hear the library of all of our older shows. Library. You can get them at CBB World, as well as our Thremium episodes, which come out every other week, where we answer your voicemails. Which you can leave us at the famous website,

HagClaims8.com. You can also listen to these three memes on Lemonada Premium. You just subscribe on Apple podcasts, or for all other podcast apps, go to LemonadaPremium.com to subscribe. And on Tuesdays, we re-release old episodes. We call that three visiting on the twos. No, I call it that.

I mean, we all agreed to call it that. I know. I'm justos and I call it that I mean we all agreed to call it that I know I'm just saying that I call it that Okay, unless I'm not disputing what all lives call it that I'm saying Great noise And then follow us on social media I dare you at freedom I dare you by the way Scott you have been posting for like a month and a half. Yeah man, what's with you? I know, what's been going on with me? I don't know, you haven't posted.

But I've really been slacking. You haven't posted like anything on Instagram. It's wild, this is not like you. I know, you probably should do like a carousel where you post about a bunch of the episodes. Probably, yeah. How are the fans going to know that you love them? Yeah.

I assume they know. They need to hear it. No, you've gotten lazy. Yeah, I have. You could say you're busy, it's probably lazy. Also, I'm writing Astonishing Spider-Man that comes out every week on the Marvel Unlimited app. Unless you're a weirdo Spider-Man fan

who wants to yell at me, please read it. I am writing the Pedestrian Spider-Man about a different Spider-Man who is, everybody's used to him, and doesn't really do anything that surprising. People are kind of bummed when he says that. And I'm writing the Driver Spider-Man who always doesn't want to give the pedestrian right of way. I know, it's the sister book. I'm writing Mini Driver Spider-Man where she gets bit by Spider. I'm

writing Mini Driver Spider-Man. Doo da, doo da, Mini Driver Spider-Man. Oh do da Mini driver Spider-Man Do da do da day Gonna run all night Gonna run all day Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Bum bum bum bum bum bum Buh-bye! Hey everybody! That includes me! And me! Thanks for listening to this week's episode. If you want more of me, Paul and Lauren, and I know you do, you should join us over on

Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. That's what it is. Where subscribers get exclusive access to our 3mium episodes. In each 3mium episode, we take your calls and listen to your voicemails and we answer them. You can send your emails to freedomusa at gmail.com, send your voicemail to hadclaims8.com and listen to your questions, be answered by your pretzel gang on Lemonada Premium.

Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today by clicking on our podcast logo on the Apple Podcast app and then clicking the subscribe button. Who's this guy? I don't know, but I like him. Sir, sir, could you please? I think he's a little crab. Hey, Paul.

Sorry about that. Who was that guy? Someone took your place for a minute. Yeah. That little crab. And we liked him better. Why do the crabs do that? Hi, everyone.

Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system.

By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season 4 of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts.